#but im happy to stop for now like drawing 7 characters 7 times is just a lot for me

[seagull-scribbles]

All of my Out of Touch Turts-day for easy comparison 💕

Which one is your favourite?

[1987] [2003] [2007] [2012] [2018] [2019] [2023]

[questintheskies]

1. CM Punk says people in AEW felt “betrayed” when he visited WWE Raw backstage in May 2023.

2. CM Punk confirms that no one came to pick him up at the airport for AEW All In, didn’t cry about it, calls it irresponsible.

3. CM Punk says he told Tony Khan that “this place [AEW] is a fucking joke, you're a clown”. Then he quit AEW.

4. “I don't like the drama but the truth is the truth. He's not a boss, he's a nice guy. That's a detriment to the company [AEW] but it's not my company." — CM Punk when asked about Tony Khan

5. CM Punk talking about AEW: Says it’s not a real or sustainable business, not about selling tickets, not about drawing money. Having good matches maybe which there’s nothing wrong with. Will always exist as long as Tony Khan keeps pumping money into it.

6. “If you're more than happy with some goof saying you had a 5 star match & the building is a quarter full…then we're not in the same business." — CM Punk

7. CM Punk was a consultant to Tony Khan in AEW, working with 2 contracts. One was a talent contract, the other was the consultant contract.

8. CM Punk believed AEW was an alternative to what WWE was. But 90% of the problems he had or identified about AEW were the very things that made AEW different…

He's happy that AEW exists because it allows wrestlers to make more money, but then also says "guaranteed money kind of ruined pro wrestling. If you had to get paid off the house, things would be a lot different"

9. CM Punk on the infamous Hangman Page promo before DoN.

Says Hangman went off the script, and that he wanted to double leg him and “murder” him on live TV if it wasn't for his professionalism. Says he went to TK and the lawyers to get the situation fixed.

10. CM Punk says nobody in AEW talked to him for 6 months after Brawl Out, he had to sort his tricep surgery by himself. He says the difference between getting injured in both companies is “night and day”

11. “I don’t regret my time there (AEW). Im just brutally honest about some things — And it’s done.

I hope they’re happy, I known I am. I would like to leave it at that. I understand fans and the tribalism, I’m a Blackhawks, I’m a Chicago Cubs fan, so I will always troll and needle White Sox fans, or Blues fans, or Predator’s you know?

But some of the shit was so outlandish, talking about my Dog and all this awful stuff”

12. CM Punk says before joining AEW, he was close to re-joining WWE, even before being on WWE Backstage.

He said they had a handshake deal in place but then it didn’t happen. He says Nick Khan lead the charge even before Khan joined WWE as he was with CAA.

13. CM Punk says stories of him being violent backstage are overblown and not true. (Earlier he admitted to choking a co-worker backstage and wanting to murder Hangman Adam Page for going off script)

14. CM Punk didn't have a non-compete clause after being fired from AEW.

15. Samoa Joe told him to stop acting up at All In Wembley, so he did. Then he turned to Khan and told him, “This place is fucking joke, man. You’re a clown. I quit.” Joe and Jerry Lynn came to his room and got him to do the PPV opening match. He said he was “too fired up” then and now rehashing it, and will probably regret talking about it, but “that’s what happened.”

16. He says he wrestled the match for Joe, referee Paul Turner, Lynn who was the agent on the match, and the fans. But he knew it was his last time wrestling Joe, and in the company.

17. He hasn’t spoken to Khan since backstage at Wembley when he quit. He didn’t do anything to make him fear for his life, as Khan said when announcing Punk’s firing on Dynamite, but Punk sayd “he is who he is.” He believes there was a “concerted effort to try to slander [him] and try to ruin [his] character.”

18. Spreading “rumors and lies and bullshit” was the genesis of all his issues at AEW. He thinks it might have been jealousy or envy, but doesn’t understand why anyone would try to dim the star of the company’s top guy.

19. Punk says his remarks at the post-All In scrum weren’t planned, but when he saw “reporters” there who are friends with other wrestlers and who wrote things about him without checking with him, it set him off. He does say it’s in his “top three CM Punk promos”, though.

20. There was nothing it the scrum that Khan hadn’t heard before. Punk doesn’t think he can talk about what happened afterwards. Confirms he is referring to Brawl Out, but says he “didn’t have to sign an NDA for anything I did wrong.” He has nothing he wanted to hide, but Khan wanted him to sign an NDA — he doesn’t know why.

21. As to why he did agree to come back, “I have a lot of friends there”, and Khan wasn’t going to let him go. Rather than sit at home, he thought he’d try to “get some guys together and have some fun shows.”

22. Asked if there’s anything he’s proud of from his time in AEW, he says he made a lot of friends and got to a lot of “cool shit” — specifically mentioning getting to work with Sting. “I think the positives outweigh the negatives”.

23. He talks about attending an indie show recently and telling someone that what happens there works at that level, as evidenced by it selling out an arcade bar, “but that shit doesn’t fly on national television — I think that’s being proven right now.”

24. He’s proud of the work he did with MJF, and thinks MJF’s future is bright as he’s immensely talented. He wasn’t great when he catered to the “niche internet audience”.

25. Punk doesn’t think he’ll ever bury the hatchet with Colt Cabana. He says Cabana approached him at some point before the All Out ‘22 incident, but he told him he wouldn’t speak to him without a lawyer present.

[greetings-from-the-eraser-king]

Hlvrai kids au

Basic premise the crew go on a field trip to Black Mesa they stumble upon a secret experiment b-u557 and end up releasing him and Black Mesa security desperately tries to stop him

Comic 1

Comic 2

Comic 3

Comic 4

Comic 5

Comic 6

Comic 7

Comic 8

Comic 9

Comic 10

Eatch kids character description below 👇

Tommy- is the oldest and is in 4th grade and is in a gifted class with darnold he has a huge collection of soda cans and stuffed animals his favorite thing to do is line them up in different patterns. Hes mainly happy and cheerful. him and benrey live together as brothers though there not biologically related he's not quite sure we're ben came from. Gman takes Tommy to black mesa a lot to show him different science experiments going on. Wants a dog so bad his toy dog is doing the job for now.

Gordon- he's in 3erd and is mainly a loner who doesn't fit in a chronic over-thinker he mainly likes to play videogames or read (mainly magazines about video games) he is a smart kid and maybe next year he'll be in the advanced science class. Anxious but loyal and can get easily annoyed. Him and benrey are frenemies both bonding over videogames and other nerdy things but benery is a bit to annoying to be a true friend (benery constantly taunts him by calling him feet man because when he was in kindergarten he stepped in peanut butter and ate it Gordon regrets telling him this) he carries a Gameboy wherever he goes.

Darnold- is one of the smartest kids in the 3erd grade but unfortunately the shortest which leads to constant taunts from forzen though not in the same grade him and Tommy are in the same gifted class and are very good friends. They enjoy making positions out of soda and doing all sorts of strange experiments.more shy and less confident than Tommy he still has a similar joyful attitude. Reads fantasy books and constantly has a new one every week.

Benery- in 3erd lives with Tommy and has no memory of how he got there but meh who cares loves to skate board and do tricks though no one knows how he holds onto it at all times seemingly appears and disappears at will. He wandered a lot and seems to forget things you just told him. You can't tell when he's joking or being serious. His helmet never comes off. Chill jokester who doesn't take a lot of things seriously and likes to hang around Gordon and annoy him. He is not allowed near black mesa.

Forzen- moved from France when he was around 3-4 his dad's in the military and he's a bit spoiled has had to move a lot because of his dad but he's been in the same neighborhood as the gang sense the end of 2ed grade. He's not truly one of the bullies of the school but is annoying to Gordon darnold and Tommy he quickly became friends with benery when he moved and benery taut him how to skate board.

B-u557- a top secret black mesa experiment to be the ultimate life form he was still brewing when the kids broke him out of his tube so he might have some defects mostly annoyed all the time but he is thrilled to be out of his tube and even more thrilled to finally be able to hear a scientist who has been visiting him.

Dr.coomer- a good friend of Tommy's dad but usually not taken very seriously by his coworkers. He is a little unusual and loud but is a very kind soul other scientists complaine that he talks to much. he works in many departments around black mesa but is most offensive seen in the robotics department is the founder of the black mesa boxing ring and has not lost his wife in the divorce yet. He likes to visit the secret experiment B-u557 to see how he's doing he does his rants to the experiment even though he knows he can't hear him. But b-u557 doesn't ever seem to be annoyed so he keeps visiting. Even if everyone else in black mesa tells him to stop.

Credit: blinkees

[personishfive]

can i ask for your thoughts on all of the phantom thieves ?

i feel like im being interviewed lol... and well i've completed p5(r) 3 times + i'm starting my 4th right now so clearly i have a lot of thoughts so i don't know how to boil it down into a sensible easily communicated response to a tumblr ask haha...

basically i love everyone...um. in short (p5(r) spoilers):

joker: the most trans in any direction character, stylish, fun, mostly-silent swag. i love protagonists. joker can hold multitudes. insert the behind the mask lyrics. i think about 3rdsembadend a lot. also "canon" names wise i prefer akira by a fair amount if that matters. keeping them unnamed in my comics is a deliberate choice though haha

mona: people need to stop being mean to him he's literally a cat. my brother loves him :) little guy... yeah okumura palace sucks but most of the others have shitty moments too...lol. he's literally a little guy what more do you want. ask me about my thoughts on his gender

ryuji: my best friend!! i think i enjoy him more and more over time he's so ride or die. just a swell dude. such a bro. simple in a good way. aftermath aside his moment in shidopalace is so iconic of him

ann: my second favorite 5 character i love her so so so much. maybe her relevance drops hard post-kamoshida but do i look like i care. she makes me happy :) and also she will forever be iconic for the whole "he can't suffer if he's dead" thing. there are types of characters that i like.

yusuke: okay. confession. the reason yusuke's barely showed up in gomics (he was in the background One time) is because i'm bad at drawing him and worse at writing him (i'm aware the standard of writing for these things is low (lol) but i just can't channel his vibe. being an artist and Like That doesn't even help). i love him though!! he's so funny and his confidant rules. etc. one of those characters that i don't think of 24/7 but when i do think about him it's like. explosion

makoto: she'll figure things out.

futaba: little sister obtained...!! she's my everything. like...dude. i don't know how to put it into words to be quite honest she's just so real. so real. so real!! her palace was good :') she's really fun and resonates so well emotionally... mental illness represent and stem kid solidarity (i do not have the capability of hacking into the government). iconic that they gave her the male velvet suit.

haru: she really needed more screentime i know that's not a new thing to say but it's true she gets overshadowed SO bad. i adore haru... it's. um. the like. reservedness? like she's been holding things back. and strength. and the "i am no longer your subservient puppet". it's interesting how she doesn't get proper resolution for her palace-related troubles like the others (read: dad got assassinated)...and yeah the gap moe of her capacity for violence also. #girl

goro: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. yeah. um. he's my favorite. anyway

sumire: i like her a lot, just more in theory than in practice if that makes sense... why did they put her hair back up and steal her glasses... i think her inclusion in sae's palace is kind of nonsensical but i get it i guess it's for returning players and all. love the cinderella thing she has going on. she's sweet. she has so little time to really shine which is a bummer. i like her. she's a good contrast to the other two in 3rdsem and funny also.

[caketartare]

im a diff anon but tbh im in the same boat as u, ive always loved storyboards and concept art and stuff, but fsr drawing/animating is so draining and i just have such a lack of interest than i did when i was like in middle school. im in school to make art a career but i have no motivation or inspiration. this is not a vent btw, im just relating!! but what are some things that personally give u enough energy to draw? and what inspires u most?

Yeah…

I guess self interest like nothing external besides maybe? Death? Like I don’t have deadlines that makes it a little tough to feel motivated no one said I had to make something out of my ideas no one is breathing down my neck 24/7 and if I don’t do it there are dire consequences. I guess my own deadline is if I never do it it never gets made and that is what drives me it’s a need to create because it’s just apart of me to do so but like I said the passage of time motivates me because if don’t draw now when will I. I probably draw almost everyday nothing is ever finished or perfect but I drew and I feel better I feel relaxed like the chaos of my mind has been released lol

I guess all I’m saying is I was born and since I was very little I knew I wanted to be an artist so I never stop drawing no matter how much I doubt myself or whatever I know I can draw so when i do it is up to me but I only have so much time on this earth I want to do it everyday I don’t want to regret the times that I didn’t try I know slumps are inevitable I guess I just don’t want to give up despite so much.

I guess other than that it’s a way I express myself I feel like even then I get pretty upset with what I couldn’t do but it feels good to just draw how I feel or draw my characters in fun outfits and being silly and I like posting it because I am showing my soul to you people whether you know it or not and I really appreciate what people have to say it makes me happy and not so alone I don’t depend on it but it’s a treat for my brain <3

And with that said I like making people happy? I guess that’s what makes me want to post is I like to make people laugh or inspired whatever emotion is evoked out of my art I want people to feel it I like having a positive impact on people.

[valleynix]

im awake 👁️👁️ now you have not one.. BUT TWO ANALYSTS COMING IN (I love ur analysis Luna 😭😭 Ima try and talk about some points you didn’t talk about cuz I agree with all of yours🥰)

I wanted to do one on chp 15 when it came out (it’s was about the time I first found tptm and ur tumblr) but I was too internet shy to interact with anyone 💀💀 BUT NOWWWWWWW 🤭🤭

I Read chp 16 till like 3am and I have no regrets (after this I’m totally drawing a shit ton of this chp)

1:

Yeah I’m sure you do lunny

2:

I Like to think Cassandra likes to just look at reader’s face and study them when they’re not looking (considering she noticed their eyes on lunatic earlier). she’s so cute 😭😭

3:

now this, THIS I GOTTA DRAW

4:

NO CUZ LIKE

I WAS JUMPING FOR JOY WHEN THIS PART HAPPENED

5:

Ngl i was actually shocked when Daria came back (I kinda forgot about her 😭😭😭)

It was funny when Daniela came by and Daria realized reader rizzed up all of the dimitrescus 😭

I am actually really interested on what you’ll do with darias character. She’s a bit brash, but it’s understandable, and it's interesting to see an outside perspective on reader. We’ve mostly seen the dimitrescus opinion on reader (not so much the maids cuz reader cant understand them) and their opinions have been very positive, so to see readers reactions to negative opinions on them is interesting

6:

You jealous Dani ?🤨🤨🤨

Yes she is and it’s so sad

so many people left her and she’s afraid reader is just going to disappear or break because of her😭 thankfully readers devotion to her is unwavering

AND THAT BITCH RED😡, MAN I HATE THEM SO MUCH‼️‼️ IM STARTING A RED HATE CLUB RN ☝️

7:

HERE WE ARE GUYS‼️WE’REE HEREE DANII KNOWSS

This scene was so sad and the way you wrote it is phenomenal. I’m glad reader finally talked to Dani about this. Now both Dani and cass will be there for reader. However I truly wonder how reader will talk to Alcina and Bela about this. I doubt they would stop loving them if they tell but I feel like their reactions will be slightly different. I think alcina will be the last person reader will talk to about it because it’s kinda hard to admit to a mother that you killed her children in another timeline 💀

8:

YEAH DANIELA BEAT SOME SENSE INTO THEM

But honestly reader’s guilt is probably one of the most heartbreaking things in tptm. Imagine falling in love with this family who helped you when you forgot everything about who you were, only to be controlled into killing them again and again. That sense of hopelessness they felt in chp 13 or 14 (i dont remember 💀) when they were stuck in their head trying to go back but lunatic prevented it, or the first reality when lunatic blamed reader for being weak. It made reader think that they were the reason they all died, that they didn’t try hard enough to save them. The dimitrescus might forgive them but it’ll take a while for them to forgive themselves. Their story is so sad and I hope Dani and cass can comfort them 😭

9:

YIPEEEEE DANIELA CONFESSSIONNN

OMGGGG I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I READ THIS

AAAHXJSNSJANDKSKKDN I NEED TO DRAWWWW

10:

“Cassandra turns her head, her mouth opening like she was going to continue with that train of thought, but she freezes when she sees you. Her eyes widen and you’d swear you see the way her cheeks turn a darker color beneath her hood, something you’re able to get a better look at when she doesn’t move.” (LMAO I totally forgot tumblr’s ask box has a limit of ten images 💀💀💀)

BAHAHAHAH Cassandra Gay panicking has my heart SHES SUCH A DORKHDJSBSJANNS

She’s probably wondering to herself if what she witnessed is a blessing or a curse

11:

“You bring your boot up and bash it down onto what bit of their face is showing as you continue this mental torment. You bring your foot down again and again and again until they’re no longer moving and you feel nothing in their mind.”

YEAHHHHHHH BEAT THEIR ASSSS READERRERR

Red’s screams will be red hate club’s national anthem 🥰🥰

12:

“You don’t think she’s ever told you this much about herself. You listen intently, hanging on her every word.”

This scene was so AAAAAA COMMUNICATION GUYSS COMMUNICATION

alcina opening up is the best thing ever. I wonder what’s gonna happen to red now that they’ve harmed reader🤭🤭

ANYWAYS‼️‼️PHENOMENAL WRITING

I will forever love your work and will continue reading tptm

time to draw literally everything in this chp

AAAAA I JUST WOKE UP FROM MY NAP I LOVE YALL-

listen i am also too shy, i legit don’t talk to people unless they come to me first 😭 it’s horrible but i’m so glad you appeared in my ask box

ANYWAY

1. Lunny got rabies

2. she totally does- she already draws them in a pose that says they’re not looking, so she probably just stares at them and studies them when they’re distracted 😭 it’s okay though she has no malicious intent

3. SHES SO FUNNY I LOVE HER

4. the level of trust at calling her by her name :’)

5. Daniela comes by and plants a kiss on their cheek, and Daria is just >:O

i do have a plan for her- kinda. i’ll have to think more on how i want to incorporate her, but it has been interesting to write someone that just doesn’t like or trust Reader

6. JEALOUS / ANGRY DANI FAVE DANI

although yeah, the cause of her being jealous in the first place is so- genuinely people are NUTS for not liking her her enough to stay >:/

7. Alcina was always meant to be the last one to know- like you said, it’d be extremely difficult to sanely explain that you killed someone’s kids over and over but it’s fine because you went back and fixed it but also you still suffer from the trauma of doing it and witnessing it even though it wasn’t really you but also was-

yeah……

8. THIS LINE WAS SO FUNNY TO WRITE- bro’s just spiraling into self-despair and Dani will absolutely have none of it

honestly, i try to just show their trauma in small ways and i’m glad it’s been picked up so well. i mean, i couldn’t imagine waking up one day to this murderous family only for them to protect me and guide me into a fitting personality, only to one day have it all come crashing down in the span of mere minutes. i know some people think Reader’s actions are a little silly, and i would agree sometimes, but that’s the unfortunate reality of trauma and mental illness :( even though they’ve told Cass and Dani, what can they really do? they didn’t witness it. they weren’t there. they don’t wake up from nightmares that it’s happening again

but, now that Dani knows and seeing how she’s better at physical comfort, she’ll know better how to ground them, and i think that’s what they need

9. I WASNT SURE HOW WELL THIS SCENE WOULD BE RECEIVED BUT I LOVED WRITING IT- Dani openly communicating that it hurts her feelings when they think she doesn’t care enough just to try and help despite not knowing the extent of their issues 😭 please she’s so sweet and i love her

10. SHES SO CUTE SKDBSJDBS I LOVE HER SO MUCH PLEASE, her gay panicking is one of my favorite things to write 😭

11. PLEASEEE LMFAOOSHFKSND (deserved)

12. OPEN COMMUNICATION MY BELOVED ‼️

i originally wasn’t going to have Reader admit stuff so soon but i just know Alcina would not let it slide for much longer 😭 like she’s smart, shes known they’ve been lying but was trying to subtly urge them to just open up and trust her

things have been set in motion now that it’s clear Red has hurt one of the few things Alcina adores in this world. the thought of angry Alci going after them………

AAAA BUT PLS YOU DONT HAVE TO, you stay feeding us (me) with your art but you work so hard 😭 remember to eat something and drink water!! >:( <33

[puexii]

NYX POST!!!1!!1!1!!!!

In chronological order of oldest to newest, including dates

1. Random character in random doodle becomes oc with a story (inspirational)

Featuring Elliot and his sister (who still doesn't have a name and an actual design im happy with)

April 14, 2023

2. Figuring out Nyx's design, featuring AR glasses they were originally supposed to have

June 2, 2023

3. Clyde and Nyx friendship moment. I got possessed by the rendering demon while sketching and just started rendering it, the demon left before it was finished

June 13, 2023

4. Silly chess shenanigans. Was inspired by a stanley parable version of this meme (also ignore the typo on pieces i only noticed that today)

July 14, 2023

5. Nyx asking Ren to please stop backflipping, he kept exploding on impact and Nyx was tired of fixing him (based on that one time i put the ask thingy on my instagram story and that one guy kept saying do a backflip and i kept making Ren do the backflips, since he was the most likely one to do it. It ended after i made Nyx catch him before he landed on his last backflip)

July 15, 2023

6. Nyx and their completely valid argument getting obliterated after Elliot's declaration of bomb possession

September 14, 2023

7. Was gonna be a meme, but i never finished it and I forgot what the meme was

September 14, 2023

8. Nyx wearing shark slippers

October 2, 2023

9. Traditional sketches of Nyx where i was unable to draw their face consistently

November 12/13, 2023

9.5. Digital modifications of the previous drawings made to see what i was doing wrong

November 12, 2023

10. Nyx falls asleep while working on Ren. Hooonk mimimi

November 17, 2023

11. Comic where Clyde was gonna ask Nyx to help him with something, but he quickly changes his mind after finding out that Nyx somehow accidentally deleted the boot loader. Based on a true story (I accidentally deleted the boot loader)

November 18, 2023

12. That awkward moment when your roommate accidentally sleeps on your shoulder and you have no clue how a normal human reacts in this situation, so you wait for them to wake up instead, maybe you will still have energy for work the next morning

November 20, 2023

13. Nyx surprises Clyde after finding out it was his birthday

December 4, 2023

14. Random doodle where Nyx just goes :P

December 12, 2023

15. Meeting your online friend for the first time and your robot friend comes to what you are doing. Little does he know that your online friend comes from a sector that just despises robots

December 15, 2023

16. Nyx dragging Clyde after finding out that he doesn't know what that specific fun thing they mentioned even is, so now he must find out. Clyde doesn't like the he's being dragged right now since he's very off balance and he would very much rather be balanced

December 16, 2023

17. Rare moment of the peaceful Clyde suggesting violence, he would not do that actually (based on that one meme that was around for a bit)

December 17, 2023

18. I hate this drawing actually why did i share it

December 19, 2023

19. Nyx but gremlin, made this as a reference to use to make a similar shaped 3d model

December 22, 2023

19.5. how the 3d model came out, featuring Elliot (making Nyx's hair was hard hrghrgg)

also I screenshot this from a silly video i made, u can also find it on yt if u search my name its the only video on there

20. A sketch so messy you can barely see their face, it's a doodle of Nyx with goggles on their head

December 27, 2023

21. Nyx succumbs to violence after Ren proves his lack of self preservation once again and Nyx is tired, Elliot is also there and he approves the violence (based on that one meme)

February 16, 2024

22. Nyx is bored to death while sitting upside down on the couch and sees Clyde's houseplant, it seems to be well cared for (based on a scene in the short story I wrote about Nyx going to the forest)

April 27, 2024

And yuh that's all i have of Nyx until now :P (actually there might be some small doodles i have of them in my notepad but that's enough for now i think)

Was kinda tedious to get them all with the descriptions and stuff but eh I remembered to do it in the end

Realized I don't have a post dedicated for Nyx despite them being an important character in the story 💥

(they are included in the meme post but still)

So I have decided I must make a post for them, with all the drawings and doodles they are included in >:] (including the ones in the meme post)

All that's left is for me to remember to do that

[cinemacereal]

people gotta stop romanticizing college man AKA: being both in charge of the narrative and subject to its inclinations is some whimsical horseshit and i do not fuckin abide

aight so im in film school right. and like, people really gotta stop romanticizing college bro. i don't even fuckin know if I actually like the thing I'm going to school for. i chose to be here and every day i wonder if i even like filmmaking, which is ludicrous of course i do.

however, this is far more nuanced a question than just the simple "does this thing make me happy." my whole goddamn career depends upon the far more loaded question of "do this thing make me happy enough i could do it for conceivably the next 50+ years and not prefer to launch myself directly into the sun than get up for work one more day." which is significantly harder to answer.

especially considerin i am in no way ignorant to the fact that im more than certain that future me will look upon current me with the same wallowing acid bath of disgust i hold for past me.

therefore i am in a particularly stupid and unsolvable paradox. If i am to determine that my future lies with the complicated and frustrating art of filmmaking, i need to do some soul searching and finish my character arc. However in order to have said character arc, i need to have,my life pointed in a direction so that the metatextual narrative doesn't crash and burn

i wish i could put my whole life on pause, figure myself out, then go back into it with a newfound sense of purpose. its like my author wrote like,, half of my story and then said "im bored" and left me in the vast expansive wastelands of the tumblr draft section, where all good posts go to die, and never actually got around to figuring out the second half of my epic character arc.

like, it’s so weird to say this but I feel like I’m at that point in my narrative or I’m about to get some serious character development??? my identity is finally coming into being and i have a sense of who i am in the metatextual narrative of this story, or at least the many different versions of myself that simultaneously exist and do not exist within the narrative at any given moment. like, at i am able to hold an internal socratic dialog with the 6 other versions of myself i am consciously aware of, which has to stand for somethin in the ridiculous self examination im doing for you, correct?

but the thing about character development is that you cant exactly have the aforementioned internal socratic dialog of you have fuckin english homework due. so what ends up actually happening is you procrastinate your big enlightenment for a more convenient time in order to keep the trains running on time. because god fucking forbid the train stops and you have an identity crisis. like everything functions fine when you keep the train moving, but if your train is falling apart you cant exactly power through a broken axle.

like oh shit the wheels are falling off and we’re either going to keep moving forward or the train is going to careen off the cliff of mental illness, and then when you DO inevitably crash, you say oh fuck i could never have predicted this. i am irretrievably fucked. except you DID predict this, all the way when your worst situation was a loose screw. but no, nobody takes you seriously until you crash and the whole train car fuckin obliterates itself on the mental illness tree like a small child running face-first into a glass screen door and watching with abject horror as the glass spiders on impact and shatters dramatically, covering the child in the snowflakes of his own grievous error.

i was in a boat where i was honestly doing pretty okay, and my workload is just light enough my ADHD doesn’t ruin my life 24/7 but i have one(1) singular negative thing happen and im all out of whack

plus, it doesn’t help that like,, i suddenly now have all these passions for writing and drawing for my buddies and making shitty jpeg gifs for my blog but i dont have any energy for film?? reader i willingly started this blog, made most of these gifs myself, and wrote out this insane, self-indulgent dialog because i, personally had the passion to do so. (wait can writing self-indulgent rantblogs be a career. because i'd be so good at that dude. i can finally stop ranting in my friends dms at like 3am)

im fuckin terrified 24/7 that i actually dont wanna do film and i wish i had time to figure that out.

like im a rad dude okay.

im one cool motherfucker, and being a cool motherfucker means i have like,,, a Lot of interests and talents that suit me in my role as said cool motherfucker.

in summary, i’m rad as shit.

this is known

the issue though is that my particular interests do not neatly fit themselves together in a way that a career path is easily laid out for me. i am such a jack of all trades that i could theoretically work in almost any department and become successful.

but, since i am only a man, my general quest is self-fulfillment, right? like the whole goddamn point of being on this stupid spinning rock of infinite horseshit is enlightenment. maslow's hierarchy of needs and all that shit.

so how, the fuck, am i supposed to figure out my particular position in life if i can conceivably find a career in like 6 different wildly divergent paths if i don't spend the next ten fuckin years trying each of them on like a little girl figuring out which disney princess halloween costume dress really says “me”

and i thought i was ahead of the game on this front. i had my first midlife crisis when i was 12 goddamnit. I've been staring at my own splintered identity since i started eating fuckin crayons, you'd think i'd have this shit sorted by now. i am a goddamn philosophical stable boy, mucking out the horseshit that is my psychological identity and self-actualization issues, except the horse in question is also in fact me, and he refuses to stop shitting. it is an endless stream of horse shit coated psyche turds, glittering in the beams of sunlight peaking through the wooden walls of the stables in question, which i guess within the context of this metaphor would be my skull.

and to add another layer to the layer cake of horseshit you and i are mucking out and subsequently baking together, our professors act as if on some level we have a full and in-depth understanding of who we are as people enough to like,,, make a fuckin decision about the career that will essentially define the rest of our lives

like, i can barely feed myself and put myself to bed. i am functionally at the same level of self-care as an overgrown infant, and im expected to have any understanding of how i wanna spend my life?

i call bullshit

we’re both intelligent and deeply interesting people, you and i, reader

we’re goddamn genuinely thoughtful and fascinating individuals with a wide variety of interests.

we are, what The Adults would call “well rounded”

and yet we still cannot manage to figure out any of this shit in a way that makes logical sense

and seriously dude, like if they were actually going to prepare us for college i would have appreciated more philosophy on the nature of enlightenment and self-fulfillment, because like yeah i definitely still wouldn’t have figured any of it out, but at least i would know what all the professional question askers up top have to say

or any assistance on the whole “who am i and where do i fit in the world” question?

like surely we could fuckin squeeze that particular topic in between WW2 for the fifth time and analyzing another robert fucking frost poem like motherfucker i don't even understand how basic college shit works, and I'm expected to become the fucking buddha and then also turn in that ten-page paper on whatever the fuck? no, of course not.

we're expected to casually figure out the existential quandary of the universe over gay brunch with the ladies and never fucking touch the topic again. case closed, book shut, the narrative is linear as shit and everyone is pleased, roll credits. like seriously what in the authors cursed name is that about? thats not how people work, author, you cant just expect them to hinge their entire identities off of a paragraph you haphazardly wrote down at 3am!

we need spiritual fulfillment! i need my character to be fleshed out man! i dont care if the author is dead, you get your corpse right back here and explain to me what all this nonsense you conjured up means!

i demand an answer for the existential question of my life's purpose, dammit! as an author it is your responsibility to give the audience a satisfying conclusion, and i, as both a character and audience member am demanding a goddamn explanation! But as both author and character, i am essentially demanding that ouroboros stop eating his own goddamn tail for a minute and explain the transitive property to me, except ouroboros is also me and he doesnt fuckin know what the transitive property is because he hasnt been in 7th grade math class in like 6 years and he is also a fuckin snake.

[daily-ethoslab]

hihi! this is a bit of a weird question totally fine if you don't wanna answer this, but how dyu find like, what to draw etho doing for this account?

I mean ofc he's etho he's a little cryptid, but still you're on day 200! big achievement!

im currently on like day 40 of my daily account and it gets hard to keep coming up with different things to draw the character in. So much kudos to you for keeping this up for 200 days!! really cool dude

This is a very normal question! Don’t worry about it :D

I’m not the best at explaining things BUT ill try my best!

The way I go about choosing a topic or subject for my etho drawings kinda goes in this order! If one dosent currently work then I move onto the next.

1. Something from the newest upload! (Screenshot redraws or moments that made me laugh)

2. Idea list () Sometimes I get an Idea or two but i wont have the time/energy to develop it so i write it down! As you can see… a lot of them I kinda skip over but thats ok! Not every idea is going to work :). I try not to think about it too much, the thinking is for later me.

3. Pinterest. Not to shill but Pinterest is great for inspiration. I have different folders for poses, outfits, and more! So if I cant come up with something I can go to Pinterest! (This does take a bit of set up cause you need an account and all that ish)

4. Try to experiment with your art! I’m kinda guilty of not doing this one. Its very easy to just use the same mediums and same poses and same colors because they’re comfortable and fast! Try using a different medium! (Traditional art is great for this) maybe set some restrictions on your art like drawing using only straight edges, color palette, using your non dominant hand! Its always a great way to shake things up!

5. Other people! Sometimes you can ask others for requests or ideas! More often then not if people follow you they probably have something they want to see! I also want to include drawing something from fan fiction in this category cause thats other peoples brains. Just make sure you credit people!

6. Memes. these also tend to be the more popular posts ive noticed haha. But sometimes drawing characters in a meme format can be a good because it gives you a joke and sometimes a pose. (I try not to use these too much cause I don’t want it to get stale and i dont want to become reliant on them.Not shaming anyone who does 😓)

7. Last resort….. I HATE when it comes to this but sometimes your ideas are nonexistent and your inspirations are evaporated. Think of this as a break in case of emergency option. Don’t. Stop. Drawing. If you keep drawing the same thing over and over the mind numbing boredom will force your brain to pull SOMETHING out. (Not recommended! Can cause burnout!)

This isn’t in a strict order as i kinda bounce around! I hope this helpful in some way! If you need me to explain something a bit more I would be more then happy to!

This account is actually really huge for me! Would you believe me if i told you I’ve NEVER made it past day 10 of Inktober. Look at me now! Day 211! I think one of the best things to keep in mind is that not every post has to be perfect. Some days art just isn’t working but you still want to post! (Ive been trying to get a back stock of ethos for these days but it’s been difficult q_q ) Its ok to post something bad! Its ok if you don’t really learn anything from it! Its ok to be human! Don’t push yourself to post everyday! I don’t think ill be able to when school starts up for me again!

Last but not least, have fun. Its your account! No one is forcing you to do what you are doing so just have fun!

[darling-i-read-it]

hi hi! could u write hcs to how jason vorhees, jd from heathers, norman bates, herbert west and bo and vincent sinclair would react to learning their s/o has a knack for art/painting? (also hi, i’ve been watching so many horror movies lately and they’ve all been plaguing my mind ugh!!! im kidding, but how have u been maya? :])

Hi, how’s it feel to have immaculate taste? Also the limit for characters here is five so I just took off Vincent since you asked for him last. I hope you don’t mind! Also, I’m good how are you? I too am watching a bunch of horror movies so this was a wonderful request to receive!

Jason Voorhees

- omg! You can paint!!! That’s so cool!!!!!

- dude he would straight up die if you taught him how to paint

- then the two of you just sitting out by the lake as he points at how amazing your painting is and you reassure him that his is also amazing

- he tries to finger paint with blood

- Jason lovely boy

- anything you do makes him so giddy

- like just a simple sketch will make him all happy and he’ll wanna display it and show people

- he shows the deer’s that pass

- the deers think you paint amazingly

- he wants you to paint everything pretty he sees which means self portraits!

- he keeps one you made of yourself in his pocket whenever he goes somewhere <3

JD

- oh you paint? awesome babe. mind if we murder someone when you’re done?

- he just is slightly annoyed you’re not paying attention to him the whole time

- like hello! We need to go to 7/11!

- but the finished products always blow him away

- a cigarette between his teeth he will compliment you endlessly

- anything you may do of him only grows his ego

- he hangs that shit up in his car for everyone to see

- there is no stopping his pride for you

- if anyone makes a negative comment they’re just immediately added to the hit list, that’s just how it is

- and he doesn’t give mercy to people who hurt you

Norman Bates

- Norman loves loves loves it!

- oh he adores when he can watch you paint, it calms him so much

- he’ll hang up everything if you let him

- he’ll spend far more money then he should on supplies for you

- if you paint any of his taxidermy birds…he’s weeping about it

- how does that man not immediately combust whenever anything good happens to him

- if you’re concentrated he leaves you alone

- sometimes you’ll come down while he’s doing his taxidermy and draw beside him

- domestic

- it just absolutely makes him so happy when you do more than exist (which makes him happy regardless)

- Norman is just so proud of everything you do no matter what

Herbert West

- glad you have your own niche now leave him alone

- he’s got an experiment to do

- then he finds out how good you really are and that you can help him draw reference photos and maybe experiment type things

- now that gets him excited

- if you’re helping him out he may as well help you out as well and help get you new supplies

- maybe he’ll even pose for a portrait if he’s not busy (his idea not yours)

- not to mention the amount of green sharpies and colors you’re going to go through

- sometimes he’ll even ask you for offhand advice about is planning (if you point it out though he’ll never do it again)

- more time together though so you guys can just sit in his work space as you draw and speak and ask questions and he does his thing while getting to talk about what makes him happy while watching you do something that makes you happy

Bo Sinclair

- oh man, can you draw him?

- narcissistic asshole <3

- he likes that you have a good hobby cause he can’t always be with you when he’s killing people

- he isn’t against it or super for it, it’s just kinda meh to him on the outside

- but on the inside!!

- he loves everything you do even if he acts like he doesn’t

- will actively search for art supplies in victims cars and pockets to give to you

- sometimes he’ll even go out of Ambrose to get you more stuff

- he says it’s really no big deal for him but you know he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t care

- if he finds something he likes he’ll put it up on the wall

- he’ll even ask you to maybe do something for Vincent to go in the wax museum

- he just thinks you’re so talented but shush don’t tell anyone he said that

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats also i think i dont get? because without the series or character names, what of any of the promo images or banner or anything else give away it's supposed to be a greek mythology story? they just look like people with weird anatomy who are colored like highlighters. at the very least some iconography should be on them, but there's not? like even percy jackson stuff makes sure to give him a trident and have water flowing around him.

2. rachel made three times where persephone could have made the choice to be with hades willingly and didnt do it each time. first time she was drugged and put into his car, where he phsyically handles her unconscious body and puts her in his bed (ew). second is her working for him, which was hera forcing it. third was her going to the underworld not because she wanted to, but because she was hiding from the law/apollo and he found her. where exactly is her agency in all of this?

3. LO seems like the fast food of webtoons. because there's no room to speculate or theorize, you just read an episode and move on, the bright colors distract that it's a rushed and lazy product over something with high quality and effort, the characters are flat and boring, and the plot has no substance. it's meant to be consumed in a rapid binge, because if not you realize what low-effort and what little you're actually getting from it when you slow down and actually think about it.

4. i mean rachel does have some logic to her fancasting, the problem is it seems the only people of color are either demonized for being hypersexual (aphrodite, eros until he's with psyche) or are literally r//pists who are out to harm her white-fa casted persephone (apollo), so yeah, there is logic there, it's just pointing to rachel being (hopefully unintentionally) racist

5. It pisses me so much that I work over time  (using references and looking at paintings and reading history for ideas for interesting character motifs) so that any of the ancient greek characters I draw look cool and authentically greek, and yet fucking Rachel Smythe, who can't even be bothered to do more than 5 seconds of research to learn that not all ancient greek outfits were shitty, minimalist off white and eggshell, gets to be revered as an artistic revolutionary. It pisses me off so. Fucking. Much. Not just for me, but for everyone else like me who absolutely ADORES greek mythology and wants to draw accurate portrayals of these characters! To whoever is reading this, stop. Stop rn and go read Sleep and His Brother Death (a comic on webtoons), go play Hades (the video game), go read The Song of Achilles (a book by Madeline Miller). Those are beautiful pieces of fiction about Greek mythology that deserve your attention more then Rachel and her shitty pink highlighter self inserts.

And a sidenote, I know that this is kinda like a modern AU for the gods. I am aware. Does not change that fact that anytime any character is drawn in ancient greek fashion it's always the SAME. SHITTY. CHITON. Maybe with a.cape or a scarf, but for the most part? It's just the same stupid, off white chiton.

6. oh, i thought you guys were joking persephone is now stuck with red eyes. is that seriously what look we're stuck with now? does rachel know it looks really ugly?

7. i feel like the lineart less style actually hurts LO in a way. way too often you can look at a panel and it becomes really murky where something starts and ends, and it looks even worse on a phone screen, because on an even smaller screen the images look even more compressed, making it even harder to tell stuff apart. this wouldnt be as bad if the comic took back up its more high contrast look from the begging, but now it's all one flat shade and im not sure why.

8. im really confused over the marketing of LO, tbh. like the ads are all hxp focused, but the series name implies its not about them, but focusing on the 12 olympians, but then the synopsis is general mythology and at the very end randomly mentions its about persephone? but then you read it and nots sure whether its a teen romance, a comedy, a serious drama, and can't stay straight with its messaging and timeline? and persephone is not there for a chunk of time. like whats actually going on?? 😭

9. Chapter 173 is like 50% filler. It gives more questions that answers, and not just from the reporters. Like the reporter stuff was mostly filler, and the Persphone and Hades stuff was like yeah we know dont need to drag this on.

My questions are WHAT ARE THE RED EYES? Is it when she’s mad? Horny? Sad? Happy? I feel like the red eyes just show up whenever RS wants to draw them

Flying? I feel like Persphone has always been flying like it wasn’t a bug moment at all. She flew home when Minthe and Hades kissed. But apperently Demeter didn’t know? I guess I don’t remember her flying in the mortal realm but her flying didn’t seem like a big moment, none of the other characters seemed surprised by it.

“Answer mine first!” When i got to that line I reread some of it just to find where the question was. That line normally matters when you’ve already asked the question not if you haven’t gotten there yet. Like of course Demeter is gonna be worried and ask a million questions.

I know the pomegranate pin is gonna be important but I felt the focus on it was a little too much, like an excuse not to cover more this chapter. Because honestly it felt like 5 minutes of the plot was covered in this chapter. 

10. So uh, whats up with Hades weird ass comments... Like "Persephone you look beautiful and if someone says otherwise they can go play on the highway" ???

Because Persephone looking good during a murder trial is clearly the most important thing here.

Also, Perse's response to the reporter who asked her about her friendship with Hades. I mean, on one hand Persephone is right, her "friendship" (or whatever it is they have going on) is nobodies business but her own - but at the same time, its kinda also the underworld denizens right to know in the sense that their future leadership could be affected so they might want to know whats going on if their getting a new co-ruler / Queen that they will be subjects of. They probably will want to know who Persephone is, should she and Hades get married because it's very likely that when (cause lets be real its a 'when' not 'if' they get married) they do get married that Persephone will inherit half the title.

So, eh?

[hobis-hope94]

~ Captivity 7 ~

AN: I’m working on Wednesday (Captivity’s normal uploads!) so I’m posting it tonight! I might be able to post part 8 in the evening - depending on what time we wrap ✨ oh and this has an au ending to TWS & slightly Civil War too, Soz for any confusion!

Characters: f!reader, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanoff. Bruce Banner & Bucky Barnes are mentioned.

Warning: mention of injury, mentions of Bucky as The Winter Soldier, mentions of food, slight violence? Angst with a little fluff.

✨ Part 6 here ✨

https://fangirllife98.tumblr.com/post/660741329915166720/captivity-6

Y/F/B/N - Your Favourite Boy’s Name

Y/F/D/B - Your Favourite Dog Breed

Y/F/C/B - Your Favourite Cat Breed

(gif not mine)

“Month five,

You’re almost here little one and I’m so excited. I’m quite big now. You’re nearly here. I love feeling you kick, it’s a beautiful feeling.

I won’t know what gender you are until you’re born. So I thought:

Y/N for a girl and Y/F/B/N for a boy, as long as you’re happy and healthy I don’t mind what gender you are.

I promised I’d tell you about dogs and cats and other animals didn’t I? Well, dogs are adorable. There’s so many kinds of dogs, big small and medium sizes. My favourite dog is Y/F/D/B. They’re so cute!! I also do love cats, they come in all shapes and sizes too. My favourite cat is Y/F/C/B, they’re beautiful.

Other animals include horses, donkeys, monkeys, cows, pigs & chickens. They’re just the popular ones, I’ll draw you some more animals on this letter.

My little bubba, as it’s coming close to you being here I’ll keep telling you how much I love you. How much you mean to me and that I hope I get to hold you and love you.

I love you.

Mom xxx”

——

You woke with a bad back, you had slept on your position against the wall, waiting for Bucky to come back.

Your neck was even worse today, it ached from the position you laid in but the bruises were angry.

The cuts caused by the glass still stung but luckily they had stopped bleeding, you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

You did feel a little faint, but you weren’t sure if that was due to hunger or dehydration.

You shot up, causing whip lash straight away. You saw a man, not the same agent you’re used to. You saw a man with golden short hair, blue eyes, tall. You saw the man Bucky described.

“You Y/N?” He asked.

You nodded slowly, another man came into view. He also had golden hair. He wore all black and had a crossbow.

“Cap, don’t stall,” the other man said urgently.

“Right. Y/N. You don’t have to be scared. We’re setting you free. I’m Steve Rogers, this is Clint Barton. We’re the Avengers,” the man with a weird looking weapon said.

“…where’s Bucky?” You whispered, not sure if you can trust him.

“On the quinjet with the rest of the team,” the man named Steve said.

“Nat, we’re gonna have to get Bruce to look Y/N over. She’s covered in cuts and bruises,” Clint said on the comms.

“C…can I grab something really quick? It’s in here I promise,” you said.

Steve nodded. You slowly went over to your hard shell of a bed. You lifted up the “mattress” (you wouldn’t call it one, it was more like a large brick on wooden legs), and gently grabbed your mum’s letters. You counted to make sure you had all nine.

“Ready,” you said, holding the letters and facing the men.

They didn’t ask what they were, the men simply nodded.

“Stand in the middle of me and Clint. Keep close to me, alright?” Steve said gently, you nodded.

It was clear that these two men were indeed the good guys. They had taken out all the bad people who hurt you and Bucky over the years. You clutched your mum’s letters tightly in your hands as you were led back to the jet.

“Hi,” said a kind looking lady with red hair. “I’m Natasha. You can call me Nat,” she said gently as you were guided onto the quinjet.

“Hi, N-Nat. I’m …. Im …” you said.

Suddenly you felt faint. You remembered collapsing, hearing lots of shouting going on around you.

—-

You woke up moments later with half blurry vision, once your vision got used to the glaring white light. You looked around.

You were in a brightly coloured lit room, on your right You saw a window. Then you slowly gasped as you realised you must have seen a tree for the first time. Your mum drew you a picture of a tree in one of your letters.

Your mum wanted to make sure you knew of all the things in the outside world so they wouldn’t be a shock to you.

“Hey, Y/N. Glad you’re okay,” the lady from before said gently.

She was sat by your bed, reading a book, it must have been a book from the picture your mum drew you. She helped you slowly sit up.

“Where are my letters?” You asked nervously.

“In here. Tony Stark made a special box for you to keep them in,” Natasha said gently, handing you a lovely box. You smiled. “They’ll be safer in there.” She added gently.

“Th-thank you,” You said. “…where’s Bucky?” You asked anxiously, whipping your head at Natasha.

“He’s in the other medical bay. He’s being looked over, he’s fine. I promise,” Natasha said gently. “Y/N’s awake. You can come in.” She added after she heard a knock.

“Hey kiddo,” the man named Steve said to you gently as you smiled at him. “You fainted due to starvation and dehydration,” he added gently, he gave you a kind smile, a smile you weren’t used to. You smiled back.

He was holding a tray of food for you.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked or don’t like,” Steve said gently.

“I’m not sure either. I’ve only been given bread … stale most days,” you said honestly.

Steve gave you a sad yet gentle look. He gave you the tray, it was loaded with different things for you to try. You were starving, but so you wouldn’t seem greedy you ate one of each.

Humming at each texture of the thing, almost groaning at the things you really enjoyed. Steve and Nat smiled at your reactions to each item of food. Once you were full, Steve handed you a glass of water. You drank it in one go.

“Sorry,” You said going red.

“Don’t be. You were severely dehydrated,” Nat said gently.

“Where’s Bucky? I wanna see him,” you said gently, after Steve poured you another glass. You drank it slower this time.

“Bucky’s fine. He’s being looked over still. He must have put up a fight after they took you away,” Steve said gently, there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“Oh god. Is he awake?” You asked nervously.

“He’s dropping in and out. He keeps asking for you. Once Bruce has finished looking over him, I’ll take you to see him,” Steve said softly.

“Thank you,” you said gratefully.

“Have some proper sleep, Y/N. We’ll wake you when Bucky’s ready,” Nat said gently. “I’ll still be here,” she added softly.

You smiled and as Steve stood up, he bid goodbye then you snuggled down into a more comfy bed than in your cell.

You fell asleep clutching the box that the man named Tony made for you. You fell asleep knowing your mum’s letters are safe. You fell asleep knowing you were safe. But most importantly, you fell asleep knowing Bucky was safe.

You two are going to get the life Bucky promised you. You couldn’t wait to get started.

✨ tag list ✨

@sebastianstansqueen

@doll1917

@ek823

@yep-thats-mee

[vemuabhi]

Amusement park Date - 1000 ch special!

Hey everyone! This is my celebration for One piece 1000 chapter!

Monster Trio + Ussop

ONE PIECE UNIVERSE

Scenarios where Character and Reader go on a date to Amusement Park on an island

special Law and Kidd Here (Clickable) 

LUFFY

I shifted again as I tried to sleep. I don’t know why I’m not able to sleep but because of my shifting I woke my dear boyfriend accidently. He murmured, “What happened Y/N? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Oh dear, I am sorry for waking you up Luffy. I wasn’t able to sleep so I was shifting. Sorry again”, I apologised to him and he placed his hand on one of my cheek as he said, “Don’t apologise, its ok. Are you hungry? Is your hunger making you not sleep? Trust me I’ve faced that.”

I chucked and said, “Yes love, I know you faced it but, I am not hungry. I am just not able to fall asleep.”

Luffy hummed as he closed his eyes trying to think of something but instead I could see his head getting Red as a side effect. He sighed as he opened his eyes and looked at me and added, “I have never faced any other situation, other than that…”, he said in a defeated tone making me smile at his cuteness. “But! I guess if we do this, you can sleep”, he said as he wrapped his arms around me and got very close. He had his classic beautiful smile while he cuddled me.

“I am sure you can fall asleep like this”, he said and smiled widely making me giggle. He was having the perfect temperature and had the smell of delicious Sanji’s cooking.

“This really helps. Thank you love”, I smiled and pecked his cheek as he giggled.

“Then let’s sleep, we should go out to explore the new island”, he said as he pulled me closer and continued, “And… maybe go… on a date…”, with that Luffy fell asleep. My cheeks turned pink and I smiled at how

“Yes Captain!”, I replied. We cuddled as I thought about how amazing our date would be. With the comfort Luffy was giving in his warm hug, it was all I needed for falling asleep peacefully.

As for the date, we both got on different types of rides mostly the scary ones and didn’t even miss one single food stall. Luffy stopped at every single food stall as he wanted to eat all food items available. I was also keeping company to Luffy as he ate.

Suddenly Luffy stretched his neck and came closer to me. I gulped at the sudden closeness. It was a surprise and my heart started beating faster.

“Y/N… you”, Luffy said as I blinked and continued, “Have food on your face”, with this he leaned in and pecked my cheek dangerously close to my lips, where the food was and said, “We don’t want that to waste right”.

‘Oh god Save me’, I thought as covered my flushed face…

After a while I came across a small competition where people were arm wrestling. As I looked at it, I felt a chill run down my spine with excitement. Luffy was still busy stuffing his mouth with food in a stall few meters away.

“Luffy! Come here”, I call Luffy and he stretched and came to my side in a second.

“Will you participate in it”, I asked Luffy as I pointed at the competition.

“Woah! Seems fun!”, Luffy Exclaimed as he jumped onto the stage. There stood a huge guy who couldn’t be beaten up till now as he faced Luffy. According to now, he should be defeated in order to win the competition.

The jerk smirked as Luffy sat in the opposite side of his. He was underestimating Luffy and I really hated that. I know Luffy wouldn’t lose but I still shouted, “LUFFY! WIN! YOU CAN WIN”, luffy smirked and I succeeded in making sure everyone in the place heard it and even draw attention to the place. Everyone’s eyes were on the match as both contestants sat opposite to each other.

“Osu!”, Luffy said as he positioned his arm, and in one swift move, my Luffy got the opponents arm down with a bonus of crashing the jerks complete body to the hard floor of the stage, even making the floor break.

Seeing the scene in front of me, I jumped up the stage and hugged Luffy as he returned my hug and complained, “It wasn’t that hard… boo”, he pouted like a child and I chuckled looking at his face.

We got the trophy and were enjoying so much but in the end….. Luffy accidentally broke one of the rides and we both ran from that scene with the rest of the crew. Anyhow that was sure one hell of a date and I loved it!

ZORO

Me and my boyfriend Zoro, go on a date to the amusement park which was pretty famous for the island we stopped on. We also wanted a break from the crew and spend some quality time together.

We both split from the crew and go for some rides. We enjoyed the roller coaster and did window shopping. Zoro won so many games and got prizes. But we purposely avoided the shooting games because we didn’t want to bump in with the crew now.

“Woah! This is amazing Zoro. You won so many things. Im so proud of you.”, I praised him and all he did was to grunt. Well he is happy and I can feel it.

I smiled at him as he bought me a snack. We both were looking at the stalls as we ate it. Then I saw a cute Lama in a claw machine.

“Awww look at that cute Lama. Can you win it Zoro?”, I pleaded my boyfriend as I gave him puppy eyes.

“Huff… you are such a trouble. Now tell me what you want”, he said as he grinned looking at the claw machine. I grinned as I showed him the Lama which I wanted.

Then… Zoro for the first time in being in the amusement park… lost.

After some time

“Babe stop! Its fine if we don’t get it”, I tell my boyfriend as he tries for the 7th time to win the Lama plushie that I liked.

“No way! Ill win that stupid thing for you!”, Zoro grunted as he lost for the 7th time.

“I really appreciate it Zoro but we are spending all of our money on this claw machine. We still need to see all the other stalls”, I tried to convince him but he wasn’t listening.

Zoro inserted the coin in the machine and got the 8th loss. He was emitting violet and black fumes. He wasn’t going to give up that easily… even after the 22nd time of losing. He was barely keeping his swords away from cutting down the machine. I huffed as I look at my man who is really pissed now. I gently place my hand on his shoulder and say, “Babe… think of it all as your experience. Now use all of it in this game. I am sure you’ll win it this time.”

Zoro took a deep breath and closed his eye. He stayed still for couple of seconds and opened his eye as he got back to the machine. He looked sharply at the Lama plushie and took the handle and pushed it back and froth as he aligned it to the Lama.

“I’m going to get the stupid toy that you liked at all costs”, with this he hit the red button which enabled the Grip for the toy.

As everyone says… 23rd time is the charm, Zoro won the plushie at last!! I was too exited so I just jumped and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zoro took the toy and gave it to me.

“Trust me Zoro, this is the best gift ever because it represents all your hard work and passion of yours.”, I said as I kissed his lips. He blushed and huffed as he said, “Of..of course I said I’d win for you. There is no way I would lose to this dumb game.” He said as he happily took my hand and started to walk away from the machine.

We see Sanji coming towards us. “Hey Sanji! Look at this Lama, Zoro won it for me!”, I proudly showed my plushie to him as he smiled back at me.

“That’s so good! Well done Marimo! So you too can be nice to your lover”, Sanji said as he went towards the machine.

“I don’t need to hear it from you, love cook. So you trying to win huh”, Zoro stayed still looking at Sanji.

“I… I do want to get some toys”, Sanji replied as he played the machine and also… got the stuff toy in the… First try. He inserted the second coin and played as he won… the second time. I was watching Sanji awestruck I didn’t realise Zoro let go of my hand. Then the third win and during the fourth time Sanji won two toys at the same time.

“Woah! See two at a time!”, he said as he walked towards us and gave me a toy and said, “I need to give Nami san and Robin chan also… So I’ll go now”, Sanji said.

“Wait Sanji!”, I stopped Sanji and asked, “How… did you win in a row?”

To which he smiled and said, “Ah! About that… there is a hack where we push the button two times, we will definitely get the toy. Well technically I didn’t say I wanted to win, I just wanted get the toy”, with that he left.

“Babe did you hear”, I turned my head to my side and Zoro wasn’t there. Then I heard, “ONI-”, I looked in the direction and it was too late to stop Zoro, as I saw my man give one blow to the machine, “-GIRI”, making it cut into pieces.

“Zoro…”, I managed to say and then the red lights started to blink with a sound coming from the machine.

“DIE YOU MACHINE! DIE!!!”, Zoro yelled at the machine as I took his arm and started to run away with my plushies held tightly in other hand. Zoro held my hand and with the other he held the bag of items he won in the games. We were being chased by many people and it was a mess but after we escaped and reached the ship, we both laughed at the situation.

XOXO

“Here you go”, said Sanji as he crouched down and handed the third plushie to the little raindeer.

“Ahh! Giving me this doesn’t make me happy you asshole”, Said the doctor as he did his happy dance making Sanji smile at him warmly.

SANJI

“HEY! OVER HERE!”, Sanji waved seeing me as I went towards the amusement park. We agreed to meet here for today’s date. Sanji wore a blue Hawaiian shirt and grey knee length shorts. It was a sunny island and was really warm. Sanji looked so different in this attire from his usual Dress shirt and coat. Not gonna lie he can pull off any type of outfit.

“Y/N! You look so cute!”, he cooed with a wide grin on his face. ‘Agh! I was supposed to compliment him first’, I scolded myself.

“Thankyou… you… you look handsome too”, I managed to let it out in a soft low voice but still he heard it. His eyes widened as his lips parted and his face flushed.

“Thankyou Y/N chan”, he thanked and offered me his hand. I smiled and took his hand as we both headed into the amusement park together. Sanji not once swooned over any other girl from the moment we both held hands.

We both shopped and took some photos together. We both got on slow and romantic rides as it was more romantic. We both played many games and Sanji trying to impress me, as if he hadn’t already done that, won all the games. I mean we were told to leave because he was way too good.

In the way I saw a Horror House. ‘Woah! Did I just get excited?!’, I stop Sanji from walking further and asked, “Sanji, can we go there please”, I pointed towards the Horror house.

Sanji looked at it and smirked as he said, “Yeah why not! Seems fun”. He seemed more excited than I was. Maybe it was because he was also missing the thrill. We walked quickly towards the horror house still my hand in his.

We go into the horror house with excitement. We go in and see some jump scares here and there… not very scary yet… there we go to a room filled with mirrors.

Then suddenly a man in clown costume comes into the room and the mirrors made reflections of him. This took me by surprise and I screamed as I hugged Sanji. He rubbed soothing circles on my back as he hugged me back instantly.

“Don’t get too close! She is scared now because of you”, he started to lecture the clown dressed man as he still hugged me and we left the room. ‘Well I know it’s a place to get scared but… he was so cute when he scolded that person because I was scared. Poor man… just did his job though’, I thought as I still hugged Sanji and explored the house more.

Whenever I got scared he turned his protective mode on and lectured the actors. They were too scared to say anything back and ran away from where they came from. Which never I guess never happened in this horror house before.

We both completed our turn and I was still feeling the adrenaline in my veins. That was actually a very scary horror house I’ve seen. I look at Sanji who was blushing and smiling. He asked, “Are you ok now Y/N?”

“Yeah… it was scary… though I guess you didn’t have much fun”, I said as I hung my head low. He placed his slender fingers on my chin and lifted my head up to face his. He smiled warmly at me and said, “It wasn’t scary to me but, I did love how you held me close to you and how you relied on me when you were scared.”, he said and I blushed. Then I noticed, we were in the same position even now and my blush even grew more. Yet…. I still didn’t want to let him go. I still held him close and I said, “Thankyou… Sanji”, with that he came closer and made our foreheads touch.

“I love you Y/N”, Sanji declared suddenly. His face was so close to mine and I could see the nervousness in his eyes.

“I love you too, you don’t have to be so nervous every time you say it”, I chuckled and he giggle. He pecked my nose and pulled back. He started to sway my hand as he indicated to continue the date. I obliged and we went to another game. ‘What did I even do to deserve him’, I thought as we continued our date.

USSOP

“Agh!! Ussop! C’mon! lets go. It’s a good day, we are on an island with theme park… I want to go on a date”, I nagged at my boyfriend who was in middle of making a new invention.

“Oh… ok then, lets go!”, Ussop says as he got up.

“That’s my baby”, I praise him as I ruffled his hair and he blushed ‘cause I called him Baby.

We both started to head to the theme park with hands linked. He was blushing the complete time. ‘Could he be anymore cuter?’, I thought as I enjoyed looking at my shy boyfriend.

“Ussop, lets eat something”, I turned to see my boyfriend who was already drooling at the sight of all the food stalls. He is a foodie and eats a lot, just… cant be compared to Luffy but he has potential.

“YES PLEASE!”, he said as he went to the stalls to eat. I chuckled when he just shoved a burger down his throat, but my smile was replaced by worry when he choked on it.

“BAKA USSOP! DON’T WORRY ME LIKE THAT!”, I scold him as he chugged down the water I handed him.

“….Sorry Y/N”, he apologises with puppy dog eyes of his which are hard to stay mad at. I huff and accept his apology. I took his hand in mine and dragged him to a scary ride.

“Wait.. Y/N…”, he said as I looked at him and see him placing his free hand on his chest and continued, “I think I’m getting the disease “Shouldn’t get on that ride” help me.” He even fake coughed and swayed back and forth to make it more dramatic. “Like I’d believe that… but keep up the acting. Good job”, I say as he dejectedly follows me while I drag him to the ride.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SAVE MEEEEEE!!!!! I’M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”, Ussop Yelled the complete ride while I yelled, “YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! THISSSS IS CRAZYYYYYY!! I LOVE ITTTT!!!”

We both got down the ride as I beamed with happiness and said, “It was so much fun!”

I got no response from my boyfriend so I turned to look at him. He had this dark aura surrounding him. He even was mumbling something which wasn’t… a language I know. It even felt like his soul was leaving his body.

“Ussop… you okay dude?”, I ask him as I crouch down and hug him.

“I am surprised I’m even alive”, he said and returned my hug. He was acting so cute by snuggling against my neck, making me chuckle.

“No way that could kill you”, I place one hand under his arm and other on his waist and pull him up. He looks at me with his glossy eyes making my heart skip a beat.

“Ok ok ok… no more scary rides. I got it. So… lets go and play some games”, I suggest for which he happily nods.

We both go to the game stalls and I saw a shooting game. I stop in my tracks making Ussop to bump into me because he was walking behind me.

“Ouch! What happened Y/N? Why did you stop?”, he asked as I looks at the game I pointed. We both smirked as we looked at each other and headed towards it. Ussop takes a gun and starts to shoot perfectly and wins continuous prizes making me happy.

Suddenly I get a thought of getting a prize for him. So I place my hand on the gun and give coins to the person who was in in charge and take position. I fire the gun but it misses and again and again…. It was making my heart crush but I still wanted to win.

Looking at my sad face Ussop couldn’t help but step in. He gracefully placed his arms on the gun and pointed it to the target. We were in a position where he was basically back hugging me. It’s always me initiating hugs and kisses. So… this made me blush so hard. I was basically a tomato in Ussop’s arms. He pulls the trigger and shoots the target with ease, making me win for the first time.

I smile widely as I notice it. It was his doing but… it made me so happy.

“Y/N Look! You shot the target”, he says as he looks at my face. He notices how red my face was and how close we both were. This makes him blush hard. He slowly lets go of me. The man in charge of the game comes towards us and hands me the prize. He witnessed the moment and was also blushing.

I took the prize and handed it to my boyfriend but I hung my head low. I was too embarrassed to face him while I give it. He takes it with his shaky hands indicating he was also very nervous. I build up my courage, take his hand and start to walk with him to another game.

Ussop was very quiet but then he suddenly says, “I love you Y/N”, making me stop in my tracks. My heart beat increased. I turned around, looked at him and replied, “I love you too Ussop”.

We both smiled at each other and continued walking side by side with our hands linked. ‘Definitely the best date till now’, I thought as we walked back to the ship with lots of toys and prizes.

special Law and Kidd Here (Clickable)

I hope you all liked it! please like, reblog and comment! sorry for any mistakes

[ninak803]

Elitist Nightmares

Aaand I finished a new chapter! Yeeei!

@whataboutmyfries thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️❤️

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Psssst @sunflowerfox87 a new chapter!

Please read tags for CW!!

Chapter 7

Remus

The last days went by in a blur. Remus and Leo organized everything that needed to be organized, like a needle to draw blood and bleach to clean up the mess he was going to make.

Now they were both sitting in the car and Remus went through the plan step by step, so he won't forget anything.

“Okay, so I'll be waiting here for you.” Leo said, watching Remus carefully.

He felt Remus' tension; he was good at reading people, Remus had to admit. Working with him wasn't bad after all.

“Yeah. If I'm not back in two hours, something's gone wrong; get the hell out of here and contact O'Hara and Tremblay, they know what to do. Okay?”

Leo nodded.

“Good luck.” he said as Remus left the car.

For the third time, he sneaked through the Black’s mansion, that was two times more than he initially had intended, it had never happened to him before, but plans changed. Obviously.

When he opened Sirius' bedroom door, he was sitting on his bed, awake this time. He looked at Remus, whose heart beat faster out of nervousness. He closed the door behind him quietly and walked over to the other man.

“I thought you might have forgotten me.” Sirius said, his voice a bit teasing.

Remus rolled his eyes. This guy really was something, talking to his assassin like that.

“No, I did not.” Remus said and placed the things he had brought with him on the bed.

Sirius moved closer to get a better look.

“What's that for?” he asked and pointed at the blood drawing kit.

Remus raised his eyebrows.

“How did you think, I would get your blood without actually hurting you?”

Sirius looked at him with horror, his eyes wide.

“I… I didn’t think about it.” his voice was just a whisper.

Remus grinned at him a bit.

“You're afraid of needles.” he stated.

The other one shook his head.

“No, of course not. I just… don't like them, with their pointy ends and all.”

Now Remus had to laugh, Sirius was cute when he was like that.

“Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, I've done this before.”

And this wasn't exactly a lie, he had trained on how to draw blood with Leo for the last couple of days. The poor boy's arm was covered with bruises from it.

“Why do you know how to do this?”

Remus just shrugged vaguely and held out his arm.

“Give me your arm, please.”

He placed the tourniquet around Sirius' arm, took a pad, then disinfected his arm.

Sirius stared at him, following every move he made with watchful eyes.

“Okay… Please lean back and look at the ceiling.” Remus instructed.

He waited until Sirius did as he was told, then took the needle in his hand and looked at his arm to find the vein.

Sirius' breaths were rather fast and Remus looked at him.

“Tell me something. Something I don't know. Something good.”

Sirius looked into his eyes for a moment, then back at the ceiling when he started talking.

“Uhm… When we were still kids, Regulus and I had this place down the road. There is a small forest, I don't know if you know. It's really not large, but it's very nice and not many people go there. Well, it was pretty empty, I don't know what it's like now. I haven't been there in years… So we would go there when our parents were… When they were shit again. We would just run away and hide for a while, pretend that everything we see is ours. We built small hideouts with the branches and moss, had fights with sticks which we pretended were swords and we were some sort of knights…” he smiled at the thought.

“And everything was well for a moment.”

Sirius looked at Remus, then at his arm in surprise. He hadn't noticed the needle at all.

Remus smiled at him genuinely.

“That sounds like a good memory.” he agreed.

They were silent for a moment, Remus watching Sirius and Sirius watching his blood and Remus, smiling shyly at him.

“Please tell me when you start feeling dizzy.” he told Sirius, who nodded.

Sirius closed his eyes. His breathing was even, just a bit too fast, maybe.

“You wanna tell me something else?” Remus asked him.

A smile appeared on Sirius' face, his eyes still closed. Remus liked this smile. It was an honest one, a happy one.

“Hm, let me think for a moment.”

He bit his lip in concentration.

“Oh, okay, I have one. We have this lake in our garden, you probably know that, and in winter when it was frozen, Regulus and I went out there to skate. It was in the middle of the night, so our parents wouldn’t notice us. It was so freaking cold. Afterwards we made hot chocolate to get warm again.”

Sirius sighed.

“I miss those days… When he was still just my little brother and not my parents' meeple. Also, I’m feeling dizzy now.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, give me a moment.” Remus said.

He fumbled with the needle and pulled it away, then placed a band aid on Sirius' arm.

Remus reached for his bag, took some chocolate out and handed it to him.

“Eat. You'll feel better.”

He waited for a while and watched Sirius eat, then Remus got up and walked into the middle of the room. He spun around several times to look at the room to find the right spot for the crime scene, then he went to the wall where he first encountered him.

This would do.

He turned around to Sirius, who was watching him, Remus swallowed.

“Can you come over here for a second?”

Sirius walked to him and Remus pushed him against the wall, gently this time. He took his knife out and held it to his throat, without any pressure though, he didn't want to hurt him.

“This feels familiar.” Sirius said with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, I need to see how tall you are to prepare…” Remus trailed off.

“Do whatever you have to do.” Sirius shrugged.

After a moment, he let go of him again and started to prepare the fake crime scene. This took him a good while, Sirius watched him from his bed again. When he was pleased with the mess he made, he started scrubbing everything with the bleach he'd brought.

Sirius was standing next to him when he was done.

“You've missed a spot here.”

Remus nodded.

“I know, I did that on purpose. So they see you didn't just run away.”

Sirius looked at him.

“Smart.”

Remus grinned.

“Thanks.”

He cleaned himself up afterwards, then went back to Sirius, who looked sad.

“Come on. We have to go now. Leave your phone here.”

And they left the Black mansion together.

Sirius

They went to a white car, a blonde guy sitting in it. Remus opened the door for him and he got inside.

“Uh… Hi.” Sirius said to the blonde.

“Hi. Im Leo. Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah. You too, I guess?”

They drove through the whole town, then parked in front of a small, rundown building.

“Welcome to your new home for the next couple of weeks.” Amber Eyes announced.

Sirius looked at it sceptically, but followed them up to the flat.

Inside it was slightly better. It wasn't the best flat he had ever seen, but at least it was clean.

So this was where he would stay now… Well, it could be worse, right? He could still be with his parents.

Remus looked at him, watching every step he made, so Sirius smiled at him.

“It's yours? Looks… nice.”

Remus laughed, he had detected the lie.

“Come on, I’ll show you where the bedroom is. You need some sleep.”

Sirius followed him into the bedroom. It was small; the bed fitted in there just so, a small wardrobe next to it.

“Take anything you need out of my wardrobe. My clothes might be too large for you, but it'll do for now. I'm in the living room, if you need anything. The bathroom is right next to the bedroom.”

Sirius nodded and Remus left him alone.

He sat down on the bed, moving his fingers over the blanket, then laid down fully clothed.

How was he supposed to sleep now? He had just faked his death and was now lying in the bed of a stranger, of someone who actually wanted to kill him, and he should just trust him now? No way.

His thoughts wandered to his brother and the fight they had only a couple of hours ago. He wished he could talk to him now, tell him he was sorry, tell him what was going to happen. When Regulus finds him gone, he would assume that he needed a day away from their family, like he did sometimes. But when he wouldn't come back in the afternoon, Regulus would know something was wrong. He will check his bedroom, find his phone and maybe the small blood spot, which Remus had left on the floor. The thought alone made Sirius heart hurt for his brother. Why did he have to do this to him?

He didn't care about his parents or their feelings, but he did care about his brother. Regulus was going to feel so damn awful.

Sirius swallowed hard and wiped away the tears. He would see his brother again. He knew it, but he was still sorry.

He closed his eyes, the touch of the soft blanket soothing him a little. He noticed a smell. He recognized it as Remus'; he remembered it clearly from the first day they had met. It shouldn't surprise him, it was his bedroom after all.

He snuggled deeper into the blanket and fell asleep despite everything.

---

Sirius startled awake. He was sweaty and his heart beat fast, because of the nightmare he just had. He swallowed, sat up and looked around. At first he didn't recognize the room he was in, but after a moment the events of the day sank in and he slowly calmed down again.

His parents weren't even close.

With an almost normal heartbeat, he got up and walked into the kitchen to get some water. A movement on the couch made Sirius stop. Remus was sleeping there, the blanket was thrown carelessly to the floor; he was sweating and his face looked painful, afraid.

So Sirius wasn't the only one with nightmares.

He walked over to the couch and sat down next to Remus, touching him gently on the shoulder to wake him up, and Remus shot upright immediately, his hands closing around Sirius neck.

Sirius held his hands up in defense, to show him he was unarmed and after a moment Remus let go of him, his eyes still scared.

“Fuck. Do you want to get yourself killed? Do not wake me up. Damn it.” he said, his voice hoarse.

Remus moved a hand through his hair, and Sirius watched him.

“You had a nightmare.” he said.

Remus shook his head.

“No, I didn't.”

“I get them too. I just had one.” he said silently.

Remus took a deep breath, then looked at Sirius with soft eyes and a small smile.

“You wanna talk about it?”

But Sirius shook his head.

“Neither do I.” Remus said, then got up from the couch.

“I don't think I can fall asleep now. You almost scared me to death.” he said.

Sirius had to laugh.

“Thanks for waking me up though…” Remus said, barely audible, then he cleared his throat and continued:

“I get myself some tea. Do you want one too? We could watch a movie or something… I mean, if you don't want to sleep again. If not, I promise you won't hear me, I won't wake you up.”

Sirius got up too.

“Tea and a movie sounds good, actually. I don't want to sleep at the moment, so… Some company would be nice, I guess? If you don't mind me…”

“Yeah, no, I don't mind.”

They stood next to each other awkwardly for a moment, then Remus left and went into the kitchen to make them some tea.

Finn

Logan was standing in the kitchen, talking on his phone apparently. Finn sat in the living room and could hear him talking to someone. He looked at Logan when the other boy came into sight again.

“I just got a call from Remus. He did it, he eliminated Black.” he sounded awestruck.

“Oh, wow.”

Logan nodded.

“Yeah. You remember this boy he took with him when he paid us a visit?”

Now it was Finn's turn to nod.

Of course he remembered Leo, he thought about him every day to be honest.

“Well, he is going to work with us now.”

Finn sat up straighter.

Well, that was some good news, right? He had wanted to see him again the moment he walked through their door with Remus. But now he had to work with him and with Logan. One boy he was in love with for years now and another one he was falling for already. Those weren’t the best circumstances. How was he supposed to stay sane?

Finn felt Logan's eyes on him, so he looked at him and smiled.

“Sounds good to me. He still needs to learn, right? We can show him a thing or two.”

Logan nodded.

“Yeah, that's actually what Remus just said to me. Leo will be here tomorrow morning at 6:30.”

Okay, so Finn had another night to think on how to handle this whole situation, not that he had many options.

“The newspapers did not cover his death yet, did they?” he asked to change the subject.

“No, it's just been a couple of hours.”

Finn nodded.

“Okay, well… We should check on Regulus and see how the security arrangements for him have changed. I guess things will be more complicated for us now.”

He got up and walked over to where Logan was standing, looking at him.

“Ouais…” he said.

Something was occupying him, Finn could see it on his face, his posture.

“Are you okay, Tremz?”

Logan looked him straight in the eye, Finn's breath hitched a second, but then Logan smiled at him and moved away.

“Yeah. Im okay. I'm just excited, I think. Everything is going to change now, isn't it?”

Finn nodded.

“That's why we're doing this. Come on, then.” he placed his hand on Logan's shoulder shortly as they left their apartment.

Finn knew Logan hadn’t told him the truth, but he also knew Logan; if he cornered him now, he would just shut down completely, so Finn let it go.

---

The next morning Finn was running up and down in his room, waiting for the doorbell to finally ring. He checked his watch for the hundredth time. 6:25 am.

He sighed and sat down on his bed. He didn't even know why he was so nervous. Well, no, he knew, but it still was stupid and annoying.

A moment later the bell finally rang, and Finn jumped up. He almost ran to the door and crashed into Logan, who already had his hand on the handle.

“Woah, slow down Harzy.” he said and opened the door.

And there he stood: Leo, tall, blonde, with friendly blue eyes and a dimpled smile on his face.

Finn's heart melted on the spot.

[cosmosrival]

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away- 

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner. 

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k - 4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: nothing happened yet things happened? idk how i feel about this, i just hope you enjoy it, thank you guys for sticking up to this story ilysm!! oh and i chose this gif just because hes sweating lmao youre welcome! i hope this chapter gets more notes than the last haha

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i added as many as possible lol i even got one WHILE i was writing and added it lmao!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 38 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 17th, 2018

"You know what people say when they see a fat girl run." I just let out, raising my nose in a grimace as I tied up my shoes.

"I'm not really the type to listen to stupid people's opinion." Niall replied, making me roll my eyes and sigh before getting up. "And you shouldn't either."

He had convinced me to go run with him and I regretted my 'yes' half a second after agreeing but the way his face illuminated told me that it was too late to go back. I hated running and he knew it, and I was pretty sure he was aware of the sacrifice it was for me. I normally always quote the movie "The Faculty" when he mentions running, because i believe there's no truer words than Casey's line at the beginning of the movie when he says 'I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased.", even if it's sort of ironic since the characters end up running away from an alien who wants to infect them the whole movie. Well, I would probably run if an alien was trying to infect me, too. And apparently, I would also run if it made Niall happy.

"It's easy for you. You've always been popular and cute and all the girls were in love with you."

"That is a big load of bullshit." he chuckled, shaking his head. "I've been told 'no' many, many times."

"I would like to see the statistics of the number of girls telling you 'no' versus the number of girls telling you 'yes."

This time, he's the one who rolled his eyes but he still had a cute smile gracing his lips and it made mine curl, too.

My parents were spending the whole day at friends' house. It was planned before I told them I'd come and visit them and even if they told me they'd cancel, I insisted that they'd just go. I didn't want to ruin their plans, I knew it was some anniversary or something similar and I could spend one day alone with Niall. Easily. Hell, I wanted to spend way more than one day with him.

"The only statistic I care about is this one." he started, clearing his throat. "How much do you love me, on a scale of 1-10."

I let out a genuine laughter and it made his lips curl. "That scale reaches the sky and it's too far away for me to see any number but there's like, 10 digits."

He took a step closer and I moved my chin up as he bent down to press his lips against mine. It felt so good to be back into this, to have a routine together, and to be happy without stress. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was exactly how it used to be but If I took the time to really think about it, it was even better. Back then, he was a bit immature and I was extremely insecure. Those two flaws sort of clashed together and made our relationship so much harder to handle. Now, I was not as insecure, and he didn't seem immature anymore, and I really felt like it could work between us.

We walked out but started running as soon as we were down the stairs. I let out a short groan of annoyance and it made him laugh. I knew he was going slowly just for me and it made me feel a bit guilty. At the same time, I was doing this for him and because he insisted, so the least he could do was wait for me, right? I don't know how long we ran but I hated it. I hated the burning sensation and the dry feeling in my throat, i hated the sweat on my back, and i hated the pain in my legs. God, I hate running. But then I turned to look at him and something twisted in my stomach and I bit my bottom lip. I loved watching him sweat. There was something sexy in watching him like that but it was not really the time and place to jump on him, unfortunately.

"How's your asthma?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Tolerable." I said, glancing at him again. "How's your grandpa knee?"

He chuckled and shook his head, making me smile more. "Could be worse."

After a while, I just stopped, feeling a cramp hurting like hell on my side, and held myself on my knees. He stopped next to me and bent down to look at me. He looked amazing, how did he fucking look so good all the damn time?

"You okay? Enough for today?"

I nodded and he smiled but I held my breath when I felt his hand on my back. I was in it so deep but I secretly hoped that I would never have to hurt again. I had new limits that I wanted to respect but I wouldn't ask him about every single girl gravitating around him, or cry myself to sleep because of a comment online. However, I would still get pissed if he let an other woman who clearly wants in his pants put her number in his phone, and I wouldn't accept him flirting with random girls at bars. The first time we dated, everything seemed to get to me but this time, It would be different. I would choose my battles and not get insecure about every little thing I see. I believed in myself more and I was convinced it helped me believe in him more, too.

We walked back home quickly and from time to time, I could feel his fingers brush against mine. It's in times like these that I really just wished we could be a normal couple. I knew he would be unhappy if he didn't do music for a living, and it would be a shame if his talent and songs weren't heard by millions of people, but selfishly, sometimes, I wished we could just walk around hand in hand without being scared of the comments, the articles and the hate.

I unlocked the door and when I took my shoes off, I grimaced and groaned low, moving my toes and quickly pulling on my socks., leaving them by the door.

"Petal, you reek." he let out before I turned around, raising my eyebrows. He chuckled and shrugged. "It's true, you smell so bad right now."

"I know!" I finally admitted in a laugh.

"But hey, you don't smell as bad as I do." he added, making me laugh more.

"That's practically impossible." I joked as he stuck his tongue out at me.

I watched him bend down and rub his knees and I bit my bottom lip as I felt a wave of intense love for him wash through me. I took a step closer and he moved his body up before looking in my eyes. I tilted my head, nibbling on my lip again and reached for the bottom of his shirt, finally pulling it up. He moved his arms up to help me as we kept staring at each other. A small smile draw itself on my lips and I just licked them, letting his shirt fall in the floor. Slowly, I let my hands run on his chest, my fingertips brushing against his nipples and moving down to his stomach. I felt my heart hit so hard against my rib cage that I thought it was going to escape. I could feel the sweat on my fingers and for some odd reason, it turned me on even more. My hands stopped at the top of his shorts and he raised his eyebrows.

"Are you gonna take them off, too?" he asked in a low tone.

"You know what I really want?" I asked in a low tone, ignoring his question as my forefingers hooked in the sides of his shorts, pulling them down slowly. He raised his eyebrows to incite me to talk and I smiled more. "Your dick in my mouth."

He didn't answer anything but his lips parted slightly and I slowly got down on my knees, bringing his shorts and boxers with me. I took his cock in my hand and when I got closer, he quickly stopped me.

"Wait!" he let out. I frowned and looked up but he just sighed. "We really need to get in the shower, first."

I stared at him for a few seconds and finally let out an amused chuckle before finally getting back up. He smirked and moved his upper body closer, his lips dangerously close to mine, before reaching for the bottom of my shirt.

"I honestly don't want you to be disgusted by my dick forever." he let out, making me chuckle again.

"Can't happen. But you're right, we should get clean first. Then fuck. And then get clean again." I proposed, making him raise his eyebrows up and down.

"And then maybe fuck again, yea?"

I smiled more at his words and nodded. "Yes."

He moved closer and kissed me, taking a few steps my way and forcing me to move back. He took my shirt off, throwing it on the floor, and I started laughing against his mouth when I accidentally stepped on something and ended hitting my back on the wall.

"Fuck, I love your clumsy ass." he whispered, slithering one of his arms around my waist as the other reached for my breasts. "And your tits, too." His hand moved down and slipped in my panties, making my eyes roll back as I leaned my head against the wall. "And your perfect little fanny, too."

He crashed his mouth against mine too as he flicked his fingertip on my clit a few times, making me whimper before he just took his hand away to pull on one side of my pants. I helped him with the other and stepped out of them. We were both just making out naked against the wall at my parents' house and I couldn't remember the last time I felt this horny. Was that adrenaline or something?

"Mm, your parents aren't coming back soon, right pet?" he asked in-between kisses as he pressed his body against mine. "Because they probably wouldn't enjoy the trail of our clothes on the floor that leads to the bathroom."

I laughed and shook my head as he pulled away. My eyes roamed on his face and It just hit me again how much I loved him.

"No, they'll be gone until very late tonight."

"Good."

He kissed me again and after a while, he pulled me to the bathroom and I tried to keep my mouth against his in a failed attempt as he bent down to start the shower. We laughed against each other's lips and ended up under the stream. I shivered as he grabbed the soap and poured some in my hands before doing the same in his. I washed myself quickly, staring at his hands moving on his body and when he reached his half-hard cock, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Sit on the side of the bath." he told me, making me obey immediately.

I was grateful that he didn't ask me to get on my knees because there's honestly nothing more uncomfortable for the knees than a bath. He moved closer and I smiled more when I realized his cock was at the perfect height. I felt like I hadn't had his cock in my mouth for so long and I took it as deeply as I could, making him groan low. I felt him swell on my tongue and spread my knees apart, bringing one of my hands between my legs.

"Mm, don't stop darling, do that thing you always do."

I chuckled low and pushed on the skin of his cock just to run the tip of my tongue between it and his tip, making one of his legs shake slightly. I used my fingers too, touching exactly the same spot and his head moved again to look down at me.

"That feels like I'm just cumming over and over again, fuck!"

I kept going for a while and finally ran my tongue on his length until his balls. He grabbed his cock in one of his hands and started stroking himself. I stuck my tongue out and felt his balls rub and bounce on my tongue with every jerk of his hand. I moved closer and sucked on one of until he grabbed my hair and pulled my head away gently.

"Open your mouth."

I did as asked and gently, he pushed his had cock in my mouth until I choked and pulled slightly away. I could feel him throb on my tongue and I let two of my fingers rub my clit gently as I sucking him harder.

"Stick your tongue out."

I looked up at him a bit innocently and opened my mouth, sticking my tongue out for him. He kept jerking himself hard, brushing his tip on my tongue as he did, and after about a minute, he let out a low groan.

"Fuck, I missed cumming on that tongue."

My eyes closed for a few seconds when his cum spurted on my cheeks, lips and tongue but I moved closer to suck on his tip again, my hands reaching for his balls as he kept stroking himself until he got down from his high. I never really enjoyed the taste but Niall’s orgasms were different, and I knew it probably only had to do with the love I felt for him, but it didn’t matter. He tasted good and I loved pleasing him. He panted for half a minute and finally grabbed my arms to pull me up gently.

"Even if you look really good like that..." he started, bringing me under the stream. "Let me help you."

Slowly, he ran his fingers on my cheeks before moving down to my lips, taking the vestige of his orgasm off. My heart jumped in my chest when he kissed me deeply and I moaned in his mouth as his hands ran on my breasts.

"You need an orgasm too." he pointed out as I nodded. "Sit back down."

I did what he told me to and frowned a bit when he got on one knee, knowing how much it hurts. We could both feel the water falling on us but when he moved his lips to my neck, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. Two of his fingers slipped inside me as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and he started fucking me slowly. His mouth moved down to my breast and the way he sucked and licked my nipples made my fingers rub against the bath in a weird and annoying sound.

"You're gonna let me fuck you hard later today, won't you princess?"

I shivered, realizing I hadn't heard that nickname in a while, and finally nodded. "Mmhm, whenever you want, wherever you want, for as long as you want. You know I'm all yours."

"Fuck, say it again."

He started finger fucking me harder and I felt my breasts press against his chest as he bit my neck harder.

"I'm yours, Niall, I'm all yours." I let out in a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"Get up."

I felt a bit too weak to do it but I still managed and when I felt his mouth crush on my pussy, I leaned my head against the cold and hard shower wall. I brought on of my legs up on the side of the bath and focused on the way his tongue skillfully sucked and licked my pussy until I felt an orgasm hit me without warning.

"Oh fuck! Niall!"

I reached for his hair and pulled on it hard, making sure his face stayed between my legs and It took me all my strength not to literally let myself fall at the bottom of the bath. When he got back up, he wrapped his arms around me and I allowed myself to get weak close to him, making him laugh.

"Good?" he asked. I nodded, brushing my nose against his wet neck and whimpered low. "Hungry?"

                                                   ----

The park was not too crowded and the sun was slowly setting. We started eating the lunch we had prepared together and I surprised myself wishing every day would be like that. It was ridiculous and impossible, but a girl could dream, right?

"What do you think would have happened if we never broke up?" I asked, staring at my water bottle before looking up in his eyes.

He was staring at me, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled into a pensive expression. He looked adorable and I smiled fondly at him. He shook his head slightly and grabbed his fork, playing with his food for a few more seconds.

"I don't know. I like to think I would have matured anyway and wouldn't be a prick but you never know." he explained with a shrug.

"You think you would have cheated on me?"

His head snapped up to look at me and he shook his head harder this time. "No. I was a flirt, but I was not a cheater, I promise."

Obviously, we would never know, and from what I had seen of Niall, he normally broke up with the girl before giving in to anyone else... well, except with me. It made me realize he had cheated on two girls with me and I tried to push away the guilt invading me. After all, I had cheated on Dylan too. The fact that he knew and had decided to ignore it didn't make my action less painful, or okay. We both had cheated and there was no excuse for it.

"You cheated with me. I did too. We both cheated. On Heidi and Dylan, and that was so wrong."

"I know." he sighed. "We can't go back. I mean I wish I could say I regret it, but I don't. It lead us here."

I sent him a sad smile and nodded. I wanted so much for us and even if I still had a few doubts, I wanted us to work. I wanted us to make efforts into this, but I couldn't make them for him. All I knew was that I was going to do everything I could to make this work, and from the way he had been acting with me lately, I was pretty sure he would do the same.

"So what's gonna happen to us now, Niall?" I asked softly. "What's our future together?"

He looked down immediately and it made me frown. Did he have something to hide? I couldn't start thinking like that again, I couldn't start analyzing his every move. I breathed it and let it go, simply tilting my head.

"We'll love each other, become official whenever you're ready, maybe even start attending galas and shit together, perhaps." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making me laugh.

"Yea, that's not really your type of things." I pointed out.

"Well it's different with you. Everything is different with you. In a good way. In the best way."

Without thinking, I held myself on the grass between us and leaned my upper body his way to reach his lips with mine. He kissed me back and after a while, he deepened the kiss. I didn't feel nervous, or stressed, and I didn't give a fuck about who could see us.

"I love you. I want to spend my life with you." I whispered. "I know these words used to scare you... how do they make you feel, now?"

I pulled away enough to be able to look in his eyes and his lips curl into a genuine smile.

"Like the happiest man in the world."

My lips curled into a happy smile as something stirred in my stomach. "You're so full of shit, Horan."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I leaned against it without thinking.

"I mean it Liv. Trust me." he murmured as I felt his breath hit my chin.

I breathed in deeply and pressed my lips together before whispering too. "I do. I trust you."

                                                        ---

We ended up watching tv together in the living room after the sun was set and I knew my parents could be back any minute, making me wonder if we had time to fuck or if we should just wait until they would be in bed.

"I wish you'd come with me in Germany." he let out randomly, taking me out of my thoughts.

"You... you know I have to go back in California soon." I explained, feeling my heart sink in my chest. "I mean, we can survive a few weeks away, yea?"

He turned his head my way and sighed. "Of course we can. But we shouldn't have to. And.. I don't really want to."

"I know." I said in a low tone, trying not to cry and looking down at my hands playing with the fabric of my shirt. "I mean, I don't know what else we can do. I'll try to get more weeks off but I don't know when that will be. When's your next week off?"

"Uhm, mid may, I think, but then I have to go back to the UK for that radio show thing."

"Oh." I brushed my palms on my face, suddenly tired and a bit scared, not knowing when I could be with him again. "Tell me the exact date and I'll try to fly there for a few days."

"That's in like... a month, Olivia." he let out a bit annoyed or disappointed... or both.

"I know." I whispered, swallowing hard, trying not to cry.

He sighed again and made a quick head movement. "Come here."

He didn't have to ask me twice : I threw myself against him as he wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his shirt, letting out a sob that I desperately tried to suppress without success.

"Hey, it'll be okay." he whispered, kissing the top of my head. "We can do this. We're stronger than ever together. Distance is alright. A month is nothing. Remember my trip to Asia?"

It's not that it was a bad example but it was a rough memory and I sniffed, shutting my eyes tighter as I tried to move closer to him. I didn't want to be a month away from him but I knew it was probably going to happen and I didn't know how to handle it. I was about to answer something when both our phones beeped and I groaned. It couldn't be a good thing and we both knew it.

"I don't want to look." I admitted low as he rubbed my back gently.

"We have to. Let's do it and then go to bed."

I sighed again and nodded as we both grabbed our phones. The problem was apparently Heidi, who had posted a bunch of song lyrics on her instagram stories, and people started speculating about who it was about. After checking, though, I knew it was about Niall. And about me a bit, too.

SHAKIRA - DONT BOTHER She's been to private school And she speaks perfect French She's got the perfect friends Oh isn't she cool? Hey, hey So don't bother I won't die of deception I promise you won't ever see me cry Don't feel sorry And don't bother I'll be fine But she's waiting The ring you gave to her will lose its shine So don't bother, be unkind

THE WEEKEND - CALL OUT MY NAME We found each other I helped you out of a broken place You gave me comfort But falling for you was my mistake I put you on top, I put you on top I claimed you so proud and openly And when times were rough, when times were rough I made sure I held you close to me

JUSTINE TIMBERLAKE - CRY ME A RIVER You don't have to say, what you did I already know, I found out from him Now there's just no chance With you and me There'll never be Don't it make you sad about it?

SAM SMITH - IM NOT THE ONLY ONE I have loved you for many years Maybe I am just not enough You've made me realize my deepest fear By lying and tearing us up You say I'm crazy 'Cause you don't think I know what you've done But when you call me baby I know I'm not the only one

DRAKE - MARVINS ROOM I'm just sayin' you could do better Tell me, have you heard that lately? I'm just sayin' you could do better And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

KATY PERRY - PART OF ME I just wanna throw my phone away Find out who is really there for me You ripped me off your love was cheap Was always tearing at the seams I fell deep, you let me down But that was then and this is now, now look at me

LITTLE MIX - SHOUT OUT TO MY EX This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I'll admit Forget that boy, I'm over it I hope she gettin' better sex Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I'm over it

TAYLOR SWIFT - SHOULVE SAID NO You should've said no, you should've gone home You should've thought twice before you let it all go You should've know that word, bout what you did with her Would get back to me And I should've been there, in the back of your mind I shouldn't be asking myself why You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet You should've said no, baby and you might still have me I can't resist, before you go, tell me this Was it worth it Was she worth this

SUGARLAND - BABE What a waste Taking down the pictures and the plans we made, yeah And it's strange how your face doesn't look so innocent Your secret has its consequence and that's on you, babe Since you admitted it, I keep picturing Her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it I hate that because of you, I can't love you Babe What a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away How could you do this, babe?

BRITNEY SPEARS - PERFUME Do I imagine it, or do I see your stare Is there still longing there? Oh I hate myself, and I feel crazy Such a classic tale Current girl friend, ex girlfriend, I'm trying to be cool Am I being paranoid, am I seeing things? Am I just insecure?

I read her stories twice, three times, and I swallowed hard until I heard Niall curse under his breath next to me. It caught my attention and I sighed, licking my lips.

"She's right, you know. I don't know how she found out but, we talked about it earlier. We did cheat on them, Niall."

"Alright, but did she need to expose that on instagram?" He closed his eyes and groaned, throwing his phone on the couch and rubbing his eyes roughly. "Are you ready for the storm? You know our social medias are gonna fucking explode."

"It doesn't matter. As usual, we're just gonna stay quiet." I replied, shrugging and sighing an other time. "You should have never dated that girl."

"I know. I didn't know back then but now, I know." he confessed, shaking his head. "I didn't think she was that kind of girl."

I started laughing next to him and his eyes met mine. He raised his eyebrows an I pressed my lips together because chuckling more.

"I mean, seriously, Niall? She was always like that."

He remained quiet and moved his arm on the back of the couch before I leaned my head against it.

"I should have dated you when I was 13 and I tried to match you with Rian for no reason. I should have dated you when I was 16 and horny. I should have dated you when I joined One Direction and you messaged me all the time. I should have dated you after the Take Me Home tour, when I came back home and noticed how much you had changed. I should have dated you during our last tour, before you got attached to Harry. I should have dated you last year, when we were both miserable. I realize it's you I should have dated all those times. Whenever I dated an other girl, it should have been you."

I teared up but tried to swallow the emotions inside me but they were drowning me instead, making me dizzy and happy at the same time.

"Yea, you should have." I whispered, scared that my voice would crack. "What about now, Niall?"

"Now?" he asked gently, raising his eyebrows but his gaze never leaving mine. I felt his fingertips play with a lock of my hair and it made my heart twist in my chest. "Well now I'm here. I'm with you. And I don't intend or want to be with anyone else. Ever again."