#i've had some weird stuff happen to me that definitely makes me wonder

[maxwellatoms]

In one of your last answers, you said “series reboots are usually pretty gross and sad”, and I was wondering if you could expand on that? Assuming “reboot” covers any kind of continuation of a currently cancelled or finished show (and maybe that’s the wrong assumption!), from the outside looking in it feels like a pretty mixed bag. On one hand, if I love XYZ Show, it’s cool that I get more stories with these characters and another chance to support XYZ Show and its creators. On the other, it definitely feels like a lot of ideas can only get funding if they’re tied to something already, meaning creatives are having to now tie whatever cool idea they have to some reboot/relaunch/retread, which can feel pretty disheartening if you don’t want to do a reboot/relaunch/retread. Is that a similar feeling from your side of the industry?

Thank you so much for all your answers and insight!

Usually reboots and spin-offs are just cash grabs. It happens a lot in animation. In fact, I would argue that the entire industry is just one big cash grab now. In the 80s, everyone complained that cartoons were just half-hour commercials for toys. And they were right. And we're right back there, but now that you can't legally push toys all day, it's just general "IP". Mugs, posters, more spinoffs, whatever.

I was offered three show running gigs over the pandemic. All reboots that I would consider unwise to pursue because they were "of a different time" and didn't (in my opinion) have anything more to say. Two of them were properties created by notorious sex pests, so there's also that. The animation industry loves to prop up its sex pests.

I turned all of them down, partially because I didn't respect the original creators but also because none of them had anything going for them except just being "more of the same".

I don't think any of those projects survived the intervening years, so in retrospect I maybe should've taken the job. I'd probably feel a bit gross, but at least I'd have floors in my house.

The entertainment industry is in a bad spot. The whole thing. I've had I don't know how many pitch meetings in the last few years, and they all start the same way:

"Hey! Before we start, we just want to let you know that we're not actively producing anything right now. We think maybe soon, but we won't be picking anything up today..."

And then later:

"The little we are doing is IP, so if you have a new take on our IP or a new IP you're connected to that you can bring in, that'd be great."

I always wanted to make original stuff. There came a time when I'd had my fill of Billy & Mandy and wanted to do something else new and original. That never manifested, and I was constantly being offered IP to produce. I turned too many of those down, maybe, before deciding that it was probably better that I run the IPs that mean something to me rather than having some hack do it.

But now those jobs have all gone to celebrities and fallen live-action writers, who are also slowly being eaten by the system. WB was hot for Scooby stuff a few years back, so I pitched some ideas. A few of them were turned down for being "off-brand" in a variety of ways. WB has now made (I think) all of those off-brand shows (or something close) with celebrity show runners.

I was going through a whole Midlife Impostor Syndrome thing recently where I was wondering if maybe I don't just suck. Like, it's weird that for a couple of decades I'd have people calling me trying to get me to run shows, and now nobody will call me back about the possibility of a design job.

Talking to some friends and realizing that they were in a similar situation helped me feel like I wasn't alone. That was nice. Talking to some of the most talented colleagues in my industry made me made me realize that those people weren't getting jobs either. That was unnerving. Talking to complete strangers in other parts of the entertainment industry now has me thinking that the whole house of cards is coming down. That's real concerning, yo.

It's hard not to think it's purposeful, when deranged billionaires own the entirety of our media and want to shape a society where they can't be criticized. We're letting wealthy tech bros firebomb the very heart of our culture, and it's weird that no one is talking about it. Because (for now) we still have that capability.

[abby-howard]

I'm going to be asking a lot of artists I follow this question, but how did you develop your style? It SEEMS like most people find their style and stick with it forever, just making improvements and iterations. I tend to work in a lot of different styles because I enjoy doing that, though I know there are things I gravitate towards as well. But I wonder what your journey was and how you got feedback and improved while staying true to what you enjoyed?

Hi there!

I definitely wouldn't say that I've found my style and stuck with it forever-- I feel like each of my projects has asked for a certain kind of art, and has presented new challenges that push me in new directions.

Some of that comes from seeing someone else's work and having something click into place that might fix errors/faults in my own, and then I might try to incorporate that, such as bigger outlines on my characters to help distinguish them from the background, or maybe a way someone else simplifies eyes that can help make mine look less weird.

When I first started drawing, I can see where I encountered certain influences because my sketchbooks suddenly switch to incorporating some new stylistic element that I liked from whatever I was reading/watching at the time. But it was never QUITE right, it was never just copying, there was always something ~wrong~ with it. And that wrongness was my style! As much as I hated it, that was what distinguished my art from being just a copy of someone else's. I hate it less now, and understand that other people see something there that maybe I don't, because it's just what happens when I filter other people's work through my head. My soul, if you will.

There are definitely through-lines with my work, driven by what I like drawing and what comes easily to me-- hatching is almost always a major component, and I like making expressive characters. Here's some of my earliest available stuff, from my old webcomic:

Then not long after that, I started The Last Halloween, which pushed me to challenge myself in both layout and style:

And here's the same comic, years later:

And here's a series I did for kids, where I had to use full color and lay off on the hatching, as well as learn how to reconstruct animals that we have no photo references for, which is definitely a place where style comes majorly into play, whether I wanted it to or not:

Then there was the horror book I did, where I tried to push my work to be less cartoony overall, and to work very hard on improving my hatching:

Then I started work on Scarlet Hollow, where I incorporated a limited/muted palette and had to once again push myself to make less-cartoony art, as well as learn more consistency so I could draw sprite sets. This was a big challenge for me, and has helped me grow as an artist so much!

And most recently, I wrapped up work on Slay the Princess, which required that I go back in the cartoony direction, but in a very different way than I was used to. This took a lot of sketching to figure out, and there's still a decent amount of artistic stumbling in Chapter 1 while I settled into it.

She's drawing on anime/Disney influence, but each Princess required a bit of stylistic variability. Some are more anime, while some are more realistic than even the Scarlet Hollow characters.

So I wouldn't worry too much, honestly! A person's style is often something that reveals itself over the course of their career, rather than something they choose and then try to stick to forever.

Even if you don't think you have a style, you do. It might vary a lot piece by piece, especially if you're trying to closely imitate another person's art, but the more work you do, the more you'll figure out your own strengths and interests!

[reorientation]

I'm very late to this kink but I think I've been in it for years? Not even on purpose.

I live with my roommates, me and my three guy friends 💗 which is funny because it just worked out that way. Anyway, years ago I went through this awful break up and we'll just leave at that. I was crazy about this girl and it like actually messed me up when she broke up with me. So in a really weird mental space but just trying to move on from it, I keep getting crazy drunk with my friends, partying through the pain lol

One in particular, we're pretty tight, I'll call him Zach here. So Zach and I were really close at that time, like really really close, and one night we start doing kind of sexual stuff while really drunk. This wasn't a thing between us at all before that night and I can't remember exactly what lead to it, but yeah we're doing some fool around stuff and then more and then more. I'd never done stuff with guys really, not beyond little party game things, like spin the bottle. He knew that and at one point that night he put it inside me and to be honest I wasn't sure what to think.

I remember at the time wondering if I should stop him or something? I don't know it's kind of funny to think about now, but I was thinking maybe he shouldn't do this, maybe I need to tell him this is too much? It felt really weird and I guess I didn't know if it was in a good way or a bad way yet. But he was saying things like "I can't believe you're letting me do this" and "you're letting me ruin you" and it was so hot that I let him fuck me. Those things he was saying were making me so wet and I guess that's this kink.

He never says that stuff anymore I just remember that being the point where my mind just silenced all the "should I tell him not to?" thoughts and it just went blank while he fucked me. It wasn't crazy good sex, we were really drunk, but it was hot and it was very different from what I was used to.

So all and all this made my other friends jealous because both of us told them. At the time it was really odd! No one saw it coming! So they all wanted a turn lol and I had told them that I found it weirdly hot so of course they both wanted to prove something. Okay one of them, we'll call Tom, wouldn't say that but it's kind of true.

Anyway all three of them got their chance and it just became a thing that would happen pretty frequently. Maybe a few times a week? I'm a very horny person so being single has always been hard on me and on top of that I'm an attention whore. I wouldn't say I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men but I am definitely a big enough attention whore that it doesn't matter lol I just like that they all need to get with me.

So over the years this arrangement has been a thing I guess, when I'm single they can just fuck me whenever because my libido is really high. They don't talk about me being a lesbian while we fuck but I notice every once in awhile I find it kind of hot that they might think about getting to fuck a lesbian yknow like they think it might change something? I think about how Zach said that stuff and it still makes me wet, I think I should bring it up to him maybe? But that might be weird.

One of the really juicy things that happened recently was that Tom fucked me really hard. Tom has always been a very sweet kind of guy and he definitely is that guy in bed, but he also hasn't been fucking me at all for the past... five months maybe because he has a serious girlfriend. But a few weeks ago he came home and we were chilling and he got very intense and held me down and fucked me really hard from behind. Like toe curling hard. It was so hot and I had already found this kink so I kept thinking about it as like him trying to "break" me.

He hasn't done anything with me since but I wish they would get in on this kink without me saying anything. I feel like I can't say it because it'd be embarrassing and weird, but it'd also kind of ruin it to ask for it? Or maybe it'd just turn my brain off again when they actually said something and it wouldn't matter?

What a pure, sweet example of lesbian sexuality: a girl who's been maximum-convenience, any-time-you-want pussy for three different men for years, but "wouldn't say that I'm not a lesbian because I'm still not attracted to men".

As if it matters! As if your little categorization criterion means anything when you spend your life taking cock whenever men decide you will!

The very first time a man fucked you, he said the right words to get your mind blank and your pussy wet - and now it's years later, and you've been fucked hundreds of times.

And the funny thing is, they don't even have to earn it by playing with the dykebreaking kink. That's your idea, that you use to get off, and you're hoping that they'll indulge you in it. Countless guys get off to the idea, but I don't know if it even really occurs to the men fucking you anymore: how do you see a girl as a lesbian when you and your buddies have been emptying your balls in her for years?

But if you're too shy to ask them to think of you that way, the solution is easy enough. Have you ever spread your legs for them on top of a lesbian flag? Worn a "This is what a lesbian looks like" shirt until they took it off?

Just remind them what you claim to be, as you keep being a good fucktoy for them. With any luck, they'll laugh at you for it, as they fuck your little "lesbian" brains out.

[xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx]

look what finally remembered it has a tumblr account 💀 hi everybody

I drew a couple premades with colors based on albums that remind me of them, thought y'all would enjoy

nervous - who really cares (tv girl)

ripp - sports (modern baseball)

I ramble about them under here

janus shut up about tv girl challenge 💀 this isn't even really my favorite band lmfao I just feel like it suits nervous and pascal so well. there's this overwhelming vibe of longing in that whole album, like you had something wonderful and now it's gone and you're scared that that was the peak of your life, and it's all downhill from here. now it's just the memories and the bitterness and the things you left in each other's apartments. OUUGGH IM RGRGH AUGH

drawing-wise I like how nervous's drawing turned out. I have a tendency to absolutely destroy my colors and make them all muddy and blended so being limited to like five colors total and having to use the screen tones and dithering effects and stuff made it feel really... sharp, I guess? I don't like how it interfered with some of the details (like the face) but it was definitely a good way to tie everything together. main gripes with this one are the bandage on his leg (I know the blue is like symbolic or something but why is it so much darker than his skin it looks stupid) and the brick in the background because WHAT HAPPENED 😭 I finished this drawing at like 3am and I really thought I knocked it out of the park with that

ripp's is definitely worse though. the cover for who really cares is incredibly simple, but the one for sports is a whole picture, and I feel like I didn't lean hard enough into the yellows that dominate most of it. the piece looks nice, don't get me wrong; the colors are way richer than I usually would've chosen and it looks awesome, but... it doesn't look anything like the reference. which was kind of the idea. with nervous's, even though it's not incredibly similar to the album cover, you can see where I'm going with it. I don't think anyone would know that ripp's was based on the album cover unless you told them. I set myself up for failure the second I used more red/orange tones than the yellows and creams. whoopsie daisy I guess

I can't really pick out a single song that reminds me of ripp from this album, but I feel like the whole thing gives off "I need to get out of my hometown asap" vibes, as well as the weird awkwardness that comes with figuring out what to do next, which I feel absolutely screams ripp. go struggling small town boy! struggle to navigate early adulthood!

anyway idk I kinda hate both of them just because I've been staring at them for probably six hours combined and I'm about to explode

I might do more of these with other characters but there's not a lot of other premades that I associate with entire albums rather than random songs so idk we'll see

as a parting gift here's a shitty doodles of pascal and nervous as the dogs from twin fantasy by car seat headrest

(the words in the background are random lyrics from the album)

[kiragecko]

cherrystainedknuckles

I guess the only problem with being asked to take a “marie kondo approach” is that in order to find any fanfic that appears to be based in actual canon timeline and plot points and characterization (which does exist, and I’m not sure why fanon fans seem insistent that it doesn’t), I literally have to search for hours. I’m not joking, I consistently make fic rec lists, and I have to search for hours and hours for actual canonical basis. same thing with character tags on tumblr.

I’m not saying fanon fans have to stop enjoying fanon or making up their own content. I’m just saying that when the tags used for both fanon tim drake and canon tim drake are the same tag it just becomes incredibly annoying sometimes, and I understand why people who like to engage with canon (me, often) become frustrated

-

I have definitely had periods where I got incredibly frustrated with fanon! Around 2019, I was wondering if I needed to leave the Batfandom, because it had been so long since I read a new fic where the characters felt 'right'.

-

But, if you're willing to, I'd like you to consider what you mean when you divide 'fanon' from 'canon'. Because I struggle to find a hard line between the two, for several reasons:

1. Fandom is transformative. Every fanfic is going to have some interpretation of the source material. The line between what is too much interpretation and what is acceptable is different for every person. For me, I find it can even vary based on writing style or other odd things - lighthearted fic can have more noncanonical stuff in it than heavier fic, and still seem true to canon.

2. 'Canon' is subjective. I do not consider the movies or video games to be 'canon', and it annoys me when things from those creep into the fic I'm reading. (I'm okay with SOME Battinson.) Some aspects of the cartoons are okay. I consider precrisis Jason Todd to be an alternate reality version, but Donna's precrisis origins are more canonical than the dumb retcons. Wayne Family Adventures isn't my main version of the characters, but I'm not bothered if some elements show up in my stories. I'm ignoring most of the nu52, but I like Duke and I'm still watching this new Lian to see what happens. I doubt your divisions are identical to mine.

(Also, some things that I think of as 'fanon' have shown up in nu52 canon! I do not accept them as any more canon because of this.)

3. Most 'fanon' is based on canon. Canon Tim has weird sleep habits. 90s Dick is really lighthearted and joking around some characters in ways similar to fanon. Dick can canonically not be trusted to take care of himself if his mental health gets low enough. Jason likes classical literature. Etc.

These are exaggerated and/or twisted in a lot of fic, but where is the line where they stop being canon? I wouldn't bat an eye at a lot of this stuff, if it didn't show up SO OFTEN.

4. Most 'fanon fans' do know some canon. What line are you going to set where it will be 'enough'. And are they allowed to mention parts of the canon they haven't read yet? Is anyone allowed to talk about Dick's early Robin days, or only the tiny amount of people who have read the golden age stuff? A lot of the 'mistakes' I see are obviously made by people who have read ABOUT canon, but don't know quite how it fits together.

5. 'Canon' is FULL of contradictions. Yes, there are canon events. Yes, there is characterization that is consistent across 3/4s of comics. But. I'm still working on my sidekick timeline. I've devoted days to figuring out ages and passage of time. I've spent over a decade trying to figure out Jason Todd's motivations, and why Tim treats him the way he does. I've read all the 90s and early 2000s CANONICAL character assassination of Jason.

I spent years thinking that Donna's death was almost as foundational as Jason's, only to later discover that I had just happened to read the specific comics that focused on the fallout, and she only stayed dead for a short time. That happens to fans ALL THE TIME! We read a character summarizing an event we haven't directly read, and just accept it as what happened. But characters have biases, and not all writers care about accuracy.

-

I've read some Tim Drakes that I consider to be almost entirely 'fanon'. And quite a few that were so scarily 'canon' that I got chills. (Not all of which were similar to each other.) But the vast, vast majority have fallen somewhere in the middle.

I definitely do not want the responsibility of deciding which ones count as 'canon'! And I think I would strongly dislike anyone who tried to decide for me.

Being frustrated is logical, and I empathize. But the original post was about the impossible expectations some fans feel. The expectation to read thousands of comics, synthesize all the contradictions, and come to conclusions that match the 'true fans'. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to be complaining about.

If that's what some fans are experiencing, of course they're not going to want to engage with canon! There's no way for them to succeed, so why should they even try?

When you join THAT conversation to discuss your frustration about fanon, it strengthens that perception. When you call them 'fanon fans' it emphasizes their belief that you don't think they belong. And rather than trying to change, it's more likely that they'll double down. Canon is full of gatekeepers, so they'll avoid it.

[marimayscarlett]

hi! :) since fans have gotten richard and paul those paulchard flags, banners, pieces of fabric (you know what i mean) during the boat ride a few shows ago, i'm a bit cautious about people taking things a little ... further than they have been before

in my understanding, in fandom spaces, it's mostly agreed upon to keep shipping stuff in those fandom spaces and away from the band members/real life. i say mostly, because people that go overboard are everywhere, and we don't know what kind of stuff the band has been exposed to in the past during meet and greets, signing sessions and so on. on the other hand, i'm not really on instagram, so i don't know what has been going on over there. nevertheless, i've read something about a past girlfriend of richard having been harassed on insta around 2019 when richard and paul first started kissing after ausländer – don't know if i remember that one correctly, though. and with paul being in a long-term relationship, i feel a bit weird about people bringing the shipping name up close to them; or maybe that's just me? i was wondering about how the behavior of one fan might encourage another ones behavior encouraging someone else even further, and so on. though i'm fully aware that everyone is responsible for their own actions. am i taking things too seriously? the band has had years of experience with fans and popularity after all, and i can imagine them being careful with, for example, searching certain things up online

i was curious about your point of view on all this :)

Hey,

Thank you for your detailed message, which I find really balanced and thoughtful! It's an interesting topic, and I've often thought about it, as well as the Paulchard ship itself. I might ramble a bit, sorry.

First of all, I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback when I saw the footage with the flags, as this was the first time a direct contact about this to the band was made. It felt like a fourth wall was being broken - kind of hard to describe. I'm convinced that both of them have some concept of what Paulchard or shipping in general is - Richard had fanfiction/slash explained to him in this interview once and seemed quite neutral, almost positive, about it. Additionally, they both display a clear affection for each other outwardly, so it shouldn't be surprising that specific shipping structures develop from that. I think the dynamic between Paul and Richard is so interesting and attractive to many because a lot has happened in their history. Close collaboration and friendship from the start (x), intense disagreements, fundamentally different personality traits, fiery tempers, strong opinions (x), and yet they seem to have found their way back to each other on a personal level, thanks in part to external mediation (for example by Schneider). They appear to be an emotional support for each other on tour; I get the impression Richard needs this closeness or expressed affection, and Paul seems to have a sense of what his counterpart needs and shows Richard his appreciation, whether on stage or backstage. It's just lovely to see how they've developed over the decades. Their relationship has such a strong humanity with a wide range of emotions, and coupled with the displayed tenderness, it's just very good shipping material, objectively speaking.

I had a feeling that there would be some kind of confrontation about the topic at some point, especially since 2019. I'm glad it was such a 'tame' approach, a sweet flag with a drawing and a heart (even though a drawing of the two without the 'Paulchard forever' would have sufficed). Still, I think this step is enough, and there shouldn't be more actions like this. Rubbing it in their faces more would be unnecessary and unneeded. This is where common sense should kick in. The fact is that Paul and Richard are not together; regarding their sexuality, it's not my place to make definitive statements, but Paul has been with Arielle for ages, and Richard has had numerous longer and shorter relationships with women. So, comments on IG, whether on family members', partners', or Paul and Richard's accounts, are absolutely inappropriate, disrespectful, and detached from reality. We mustn't forget that these are real people with real relationships and feelings, and we really don't need to rub it in their faces. I think shipping in fandom circles is fine, but there must be respect for the individuals in direct interactions, and family members should definitely be kept out of it.

As I said, I found the flag cute and sweet, but more doesn't need to happen imo. I'm also a bit worried that this might inspire others to do something that is too much, which I hope won't happen. In conclusion, I must commend both Richard and Paul for how they handled the situation. Both were mildly interested and took the flag without making a big deal out of it.

Thank you to @m---e---l for gathering some thoughts about this ask and discussing this with me 🤍

[rekino2114]

So I’ve recently fallen deeply mad in love with Ena (the blue/yellow polygon gal-) and I can’t stop thinking about her (I won’t apologize for it though she’s amazing and neat-)

If I may, can I ask for Ena x male reader where reader is hard crushing on all forms of Ena and it’s pretty obvious that he loves her, but can’t bring himself to tell her since he doesn’t know how she’ll react

You crushing on ena

Pairing:ena x male reader

A/n:You don't need to apologize. ena is indeed very awesome and cool. Sidenote but I am obsessed with the idea of ena having more forms than the ones we see so I might make a post detailing some fanmade ones I've seen around,with the reader of course let me know if you'd like that

"Come on, dude, just tell her"

"No, who knows what might happen"

You're currently talking to your friend moony about your crush on your mutual friend ena

"The worst she can say is no"

"That's a factually wrong statement for most people, but especially for ena, with how many forms she has, I might get punched in the face or she'll start crying and wallowing in self pity"

"You're such a coward, man"

"Listen, ena is like one the best friends I ever had, I can't risk losing her friendship. She's the best"

"If you don't tell her I will"

"Don't you dare-

You were interrupted by the voice of your crush approaching you

"Ah here are my two bestest friends in the entirety of this digital plane, how are you good chums?"

"Oh hey I-na me and y/n here were talking about you actually"

"Oh is that true? I hope you were spreading good word of me then"

"Oh, trust me, he definitely has~"

"SORRYINEEDTOGOBYE"

You were very embarrassed at the possibility of your crush being revealed and decided to run away from your friends while blushing

"Waaaahh y/n hates me"

Your sudden leave caused ena to glitch and turn into her sad form while crying on the ground

"I can't bwame him, evewyone should hate me, I'm howwible,howwbile, I should just die"

"Geez what a crybaby, y/n loves you like love-loves you"

"*sniffle* w-weally?"

"Yeah, dummy, you didn't know? It's sooooo obvious. He always blushes when he's near you and don't you see how he always comforts whenever you get like this? That's l-o-v-e"

After hearing her friend's words the polygonal girl stood up and went back to her normal form

"Oh such splendid news, I must go confess to y/n this instant"

"Wait, you like him too?"

"Indeed, I have had hidden feelings for him for quite a while. Whenever I'm around him, my face turns pink, and I can't help but want to fill him with compliments and physical contact, at first I didn't know what this feeling was but now I believe it is love"

"Pffffft whatever vena just leave me out of your lovey-dovey loser stuff"

"Do not fret, I will go talk to y/n now. Hopefully, the next time we meet, I will have a romantic partner"

Ena left the scene and practically teleported to where you were sitting, still embarrassed at yourself and a bit angry at moony

"E-ena, I'm really sorry for running away"

"Salutations, my dear companion, do not worry about that. Please don't stand there being unhappy, I have some splendid news I think you'll enjoy hearing"

"What is it?"

" I have an announcement:I.....believe I have feelings for you....feelings of love""

"......really?""

"Precisely, I do, every time I'm near you, I feel something beyond happiness, and with my friend moony's help, I understood that it was love"

"I-i don't know what to say ena, I love you too"

"Oh happy days, might I suggest that we enter a relationship then?"

"Of course I'd love to be your boyfriend"

Ena smiled happily before avoiding your eyes and blushing (she blushes two different colors on her two sides)

"Wonderful......could we perhaps formalize our relationship with a kiss?"

"*giggle* yes if you'd like"

You approached ena's lips and kissed her (I just realized she only has a mouth on her yellow side and doesn't really have lips....uhhh, I dunno I guess you could still kiss her like that, her anatomy is weird anyway it doesn't have to be realistic)

"That felt so so amazing, thank you so much my dear"

"You don't need to thank me, it felt great for me too"

Suddenly, ena hugged you, and you did the same. Despite her polygonal body, she actually felt very soft and nice to lean against, and so you did. You stayed like this enjoying your newfound love with your new girlfriend.

[aszles]

since my first pinned post had a tierlist of csm characters, i decided to redo it as a tierlist of Fujimoto works instead! (i had only read csm when i made this sideblog) it's a lot less ever-changing so i feel a bit safer keeping something like this at the top of my blog lol...

within the tiers there is no specific order, they're just the things i happened to put in first. if you wanna make one here's the template! (made by yours truly)

because i'm a nerd you can read my opinions about each work below the cut~

S TIER

Chainsaw Man - i mean, csm is just awesome. in all honesty, this manga has changed my life. i KNOW that sounds silly and corny but it's genuinely true. i have been able to get past a lot of my struggles and develop so much as a person since starting this manga. as a fun bonus i feel like i've finally started improving my art again (or at least changing it enough to feel fresh) after like 3 years. i can't really describe how much csm has done for me, but if i had told myself from 2021 that this would happen i would never believe it (especially because i had written off this series for some personal reasons...lol) but yeah. i think i'll forever be grateful for what Chainsaw Man has done for me.

Look Back - i think Look Back is seriously the best piece of media i have ever experienced. i don't think i have ever seen a story so beautifully crafted as this manga, it made me sob when i read it. i remember having to move the manga away from myself so i wouldn't get tears on it. at the time of writing this i am SO SO excited to watch the movie, whenever that will be. i will cry and throw up watching that thing LOL.

Nayuta of the Prophecy - ok maybe i don't TECHNICALLY believe this is an S tier work, but Nayuta is just such a lovable character that i can't possibly rank her any lower. Fujimoto was right to adapt her into csm because she deserves it!! however despite that, this oneshot is the only one that i genuinely wish he would make a sequel to. i think oneshot Nayuta and csm Nayuta are pretty different, so they still don't feel like the same character - i would love to see oneshot Nayuta's personality and relationship with her brother continue to develop!

A TIER

Sisters - one of the few other works i had heard anything about before i started exploring Fujimoto's other stuff, and i definitely felt apprehensive about it. but wow, the fact that Fujimoto is able to take the concept of "girl non-consensually paints her sister naked and it gets displayed on the school wall for everyone to see" and NOT make it weird is crazy! a sweet oneshot that i enjoyed, and love the nuance that was able to be created in such a short amount of time.

Woke-Up-as-a-Girl Syndrome - a really cute take on a silly trope that can often be handled... oddly. i love how much the characters in this really feel like teenagers, doing stupid things but being completely earnest all the while. (Spoilers) i really like how it ends with Toshihide being adamant that he is still male, and also Rie still loving him as he is. very sweet!

Love is Blind - it's no wonder Fujimoto won an honourable mention for this, it's such an adorable and funny oneshot. i was giggling the whole time reading it! i don't really have much to say about it, but i definitely enjoyed it.

Fire Punch - i don't really know where to start with Fire Punch, but wow. it is seriously so impressive to me how good Fujimoto is at tackling such sensitive topics, not shying away from them while also clearly not glorifying them. i also think a big place where Fire Punch shines is character relationships, especially Agni and Togata. they fucked me UPPPPP. it goes off the rails a bit near the end, but i also never got the feeling that it WASN'T what Fujimoto intended with this series. i may not quite get the ending, but it didn't ruin anything for me and i think the rest of Fire Punch is really good at what it does. plus the art is AWESOME ?????

B TIER

Goodbye, Eri - ohhh people might not like me for this one... i'm sorry guys, i just honestly didn't get this manga. i'll definitely reread in the future (me and my sister still haven't finished our sticky notes to read it blurry/clear) but for now i can't rank it any higher. i didn't feel much reading it, and the ending definitely confused me a lot lol. love the art though!

Shikaku - this one's interesting! i thought the story was quite cute, and Shikaku herself is completely adorable. though Yugeru is ummm... not my type let's say. i also do wonder if Makima took any inspiration from Shikaku - she looks similar to her, which to be fair for Fujimoto works probably doesn't mean much (as a lot of his character's look similar to each other /pos), but a clearer comparison is both characters presenting eyeballs they stole from people. (also... if Makima is inspired by Shikaku, is Barem then inspired by Yugeru? yuck) anyways just my speculation, back to the point. the reason this doesn't make its way into A tier is because to me it doesn't really feel like a Fujimoto work? i'm not sure why, but yeah.

C TIER

Mermaid Rhapsody - this one's definitely cute, but as a result of Fujimoto trying to create a "normal story" it unfortunately loses all of the charm of Fujimoto works!! i want it to be weird and fucked up damnit!!!!! though he did succeed in his goal of creating a normal story, so i can't complain too much lol.

Sasaki Stopped a Bullet - i don't have anything against this oneshot, but i think it just doesn't particularly appeal to me. unfortunately nothing in this story grabbed me

D TIER

A Couple Clucking Chickens Were Still Kickin' in the Schoolyard - it's no real surprise this is here, considering it's Fujimoto's first work. overall it was pretty cute, but i'm not all that into aliens..? not much to say lol

if you read all this then thank you >_o

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Hiya! It's me again, ya horn boi, that is just THIRSTY for your writing 😫🙏

I was wondering- when you're able and if this one shot idea interests you (don't write it if it doesn't, this is just my sick little mind needing some fuel because AO3 is down and I'm starting to tweak).

But I was wondering if you could do a little one shot set in the Deadpool x Wolverine au? Specifically Adam using his claws on Lucifer? (It doesn't have fo be stabbing or making him bleed if you're not into that, mainly just cutting his clothes off-)

They definitely start flatting together after the film, so I like to think that this takes place at the flat and Adams been drinking cause he's still depressed (if you've seen the film he has a perfectly good reason for this), so he basically spills his feelings to Lucifer, who then takes him to bed to sleep the alcohol off. The dirty stuff happens in the morning when Adam feel super embarrassed but Lucifer tell him he feels the same.

After been hated in his own universe, Adam just baths in Lucifers praises and touches.

They get a little rough but what do you expect from two immortals that have a pain kink-

So, that's basically it, just some soft love for Adam with a lot of filth mixed in.

I just need more beefy Adam with Logans cute hair ears- if Lucifer makes a comment on them I'll buy you a car for your 21st birthday-

Anyway- thank you! 🍳

I'VE FINALLY SEEN THE MOVIE!! I was waiting to do this one when I saw the movie and now I have.

Even though they had saved their world and everyone in it, Adam couldn't fight off the depression that still clawed it's way into his mind when the dust was settled and everything was over.

He was living with Lucifer now, really he had nowhere else to go he didn't know why he even bothered trying. It was still weird to him that the Adam of this world that died was the anchor being keeping it all together.

Adam wasn't that important, he could live in any timeline apparently.

Adam raised the bottle of whiskey to his lips and took a deep drink, he enjoyed the way it burned going down his throat. He wasn't sure now just how long he's been drinking but it's been enough to get a good buzz on.

Lucifer: Hey there- Woah, what's with the self inflicted pity party?

It was easy to see that Adam was drunk, that bottle was new but more than half gone already.

Fuck, that wasn't good.

Lucifer: Come on baby girl time for bed before we find out if you actually can drink yourself to death.

Lucifer gently reaches down and removes the bottle from Adams grip and sets it down before picking him up like he weighed nothing. Because to Lucifer he really didn't.

Adam held onto him and buried his face in Lucifer's neck.

Adam: You smell good.

Lucifer: Thank you it's called soap.

Adam: I ever tell you how much I love you?

Lucifer grinned: No, but why don't you tell me now?

Adam: I love you so much, but you've never loved me.

Lucifer was confused until he remembered the version of himself from this Adams world. So they had history there too....

Lucifer: I love you too.

Adam: You do?

Adams claws came out making Lucifer jump.

Lucifer: Woah! Watch the murder mittens cute stuff.

Adam giggled and that's how Luicfer knew he was fucking wasted. Adam never giggled especially over a silly joke he makes.

Lucifer laid him on the bed but Adam pulled him down and held him while he slept off his drunken stupor.

Lucifer: There are worse places to be than in between these perfect titties.

In the morning woke up to being held by Luicfer, his face got warm and he tried to get away.

Lucifer: What no morning kiss?

Adam groaned: Oh fuck me....

Lucifer: Well if you really want to.

He laughed nervously when Adam unsheathed one set of claws and it looked like he was going to stab him in the dick, but instead he used them to cut off his clothes.

Lucifer: Well this is a pleasant surprise.

Adam: I can change my mind.

Lucifer: Nope! Come here beautiful.~

The sex they had was a mixture of hard core rough sex and making love. Adam melted under his touch and soaked in all the praises that Lucifer showered him with as he pounded into him. The headboard was banging the wall like it was Morse code.

It could be heard throughout the apartment, good thing Charlie was out for coffee.

When they were done they laid there basking in the afterglow of their euphoric blissful state.

Luicfer: Addie.

Adam felt his eye twitch at the nickname: What?

Lucifer: You're my favorite person.

Adams face got hot again: Shut up.....

[hamofjustice]

Julinemo Week, Day 1: First Meeting "So uh… is he always like that?"

"Ugh, no. Well… I mean, he's usually a prick-- Uh, prickly guy, but… pero bueno, he's not usually not quite that--"

Nemona rattled her head, sending her ponytail swinging, and dismissively pawed at the air between her and her new neighbor as if tossing the unfinished thought out of her mind.

"Ah, whatever! Don't you worry about those weird vibes, Juliana! You've got enough on your plate, signing up to a new school in a new place with your new Pokemon-- You don't need to get sucked into whatever dumb drama the rest of us have goin' on. This is your big day! Sorry about all that."

"Nah, nah, it's fine, you didn't do anything wrong. It's, uh... definitely been an exciting day so far, that's for sure! Hehehe..."

"Ah, haha, yeah, for sure! Heh… man..."

Juliana turned to Nemona with a reassuring smile... and noticed her friend's hand seemed to be hovering over her shoulder. Nemona glanced away and quickly jerked her arm away to scratch her own scalp instead.

"… You okay?"

Nemona froze mid-scratch, eyes wide. "Huh?"

"I, uh… I guess I'm not the only one feeling kinda jittery this morning, huh? I promise I won't fall off any more cliffs for a while." Juliana said with a slightly forced-looking smile.

The taller girl remained frozen for a second as they walked, before snorting and visibly releasing a bit of her own tension. "Ha! Haha! Yeah, you better not, 'cause you know what happens when you scare somebody half to death twice?"

"They… get scared three-quarters to death?"

"… Heh! You've got a quick wit to go with that sharp eye, bud! No wonder you've been such a fast learner!"

"Hehehe. Thanks."

There was a pleasant lull in the conversation as they both grinned down at the road...

Soon, though, Nemona cleared her throat and stopped in her tracks. Juliana stopped too and turned to face her curiously.

"Speaking of fast learning, I should probably get out of your hair and let you have fun doing, uh, Trainer-y stuff without me hovering over your shoulder." Nemona suddenly decided. "Do what you want for a bit and I'll see you up ahead at the Pokemon Center, all right?" she proposed, pointing her thumb at the red-roofed, ad-covered outpost off in the distance.

"Oh, um… wait…" Juliana softly protested when Nemona started to leave, raising a limp hand as if she had a question in class and wished she didn't.

"Huh? What's up? Think you'll need more Poke Balls? I've got a bunch..." Nemona began, already digging noisily through her bag.

"No… well, I mean, maybe later, but, I just, um-- You're not bugging me, you can stay."

Once again, Nemona seemed to not expect that. "Oh... really? You'd... rather I stick around and keep an eye on ya, huh? All right then! You got it, boss!"

Juliana smiled brightly up at her. The morning light seemed to sparkle in the new student's eyes. "Well, yeah. We're friends now, right?"

Nemona smiled back as she zipped her bag shut, then rubbed the back of her neck and suddenly seemed very interested in the grassy field nearby. "… Yeah, but, y'know, sometimes friends might need… a little space and quiet and stuff. Gotta be considerate."

"No, I'm glad you're here! I mean... if you have some business you need to get to right now, that's fine..."

"Nope! No, all my attention's on you, bud! Well, I mean, unless you don't want--"

"Okay, okay! Just making sure." Juliana mercifully interrupted. "So uhhh… you said Normal Pokemon are pretty good against everything, yeah?" she asked casually, starting to walk down the road again.

Nemona's eyes brightened with renewed energy at the topic change. "Oh, uh, yeah! I mean, they've got a FEW issues, there's a few types that-- Uh, I'll warn ya if you're gonna run into 'em, but that Lechonk should be consistently solid against mooost things with some training, which is good if you're not sure what to expect yet! Now, you might end up not keeping it on your team forever, though, 'cause it's not really gonna have the advantage against much of anything, either. Well, unless you give it--" she rambled, then glanced down at her companion's attentive gaze. "Uh, never mind, I can nerd out about all that later. Yeah, Normal-types are nice and reliable, yep!"

Juliana nodded a few times. "Hmm… I dunno… I don't think I'd replace the first Pokemon we caught together. That's gonna be a great memory someday, right?"

Nemona blinked. "Wh-- Oh, yeah, true, can't be, uh, what's the word… too pragmatic about it, heh. Stuff like that matters for sure! Sorry, there's that competitive brain again…" she responded, looking away once more. "I'll make sure to train up that Pawmi I caught with you too, then."

"Nice! More little rivals, just like the Pokemon the Director gave us, hehehe!"

"Heh! Yeah… little rivals…"

"… Ooh, what's that?" Juliana soon asked, pointing ahead at what appeared to be a green-haired baby plodding around in a long white dress that would be a better fit for a green-haired toddler.

Nemona rattled her head again like she'd been caught zoning out. "Huh, wha-- Oh, that's a Ralts! They're pretty rare! Psychic and Fairy type, pretty good with special moves. It's a little flimsy at first and takes a while to train, but it's totally worth it in the end."

"Whoa, Psychic? And Fairy?"

"Yeah, there's a buncha Fairies around here, actually..."

"Well, I'm already sold on this one from how cute it is! I'm definitely gonna try and catch it."

The little Ralts seemed to immediately take notice of Juliana when she said that, and turned to face her.

"Oh, uh, Ralts can sense folks' feelings! It probably knows what you're thinkin' right now. Heh, wish I had that power…"

Juliana, meanwhile, was grinning confidently with a Poke Ball in hand. "Well, I've got nothing to hide from it. Let's make another new friend, Lechonk!"

Nemona beamed as she watched Juliana's battle unfold. The new Trainer was having too much fun in the wide world she'd been welcomed into, despite the bumpty start, to notice that the unrivaled Champion watching over her was wiping something out of her eye.

[wheelerpilled]

OK IM SO EXCITED FOR 5x01 OPENING, I feel like it's been brushed over, like I've seen people excited that we get a 1983 flashback but I NEED to see people's theories on the further implications of this!!

______________________________________

Every opening scene in stranger things gives us information for a 'hook' for the season, which is why I really want to know about season 5 because it's just odd:

Season 1: something mysterious kills the scientist, leading us to wonder whats going on.

Season 2: we learn there are others like 11, and that Kali exists/escaped aswell, it's important.

Season 3: introduction of the Russian arc, and the attempted opening of the gate

Season 4: we learn about the Hawkins lab massacre and Elevens 'role' in it- revealing new backstory

________________________________________

Basically it's ALWAYS new information, so they wouldn't just be showing Will in the upside down and leaving it at that, because that brings nothing that we didn't already know to the table.

My point is that every one of these things is the hook for an arc within the season, we know the opening is Will in the upside down, but we don't know WHY. it has to be more than just a callback, they wouldn't waste the opening scene on something that doesn't add anything to plot, So I think this means we are finally going to get to know more of Will in the upside down (Ive read the comic but I mean what happens in the show, because I consider the stuff in the show more 'canon' and the comics are just a side thing)

we are finally going to LEARN more about his connection to the upside down, I think it'll probably confirm the theory that vecna was responsible for his kidnapping and not a demogorgan like the characters in the show assume.

___________________________________

Wills case is so different to the others who got killed in the upside down almost immediately and I do NOT believe it's simply because he's 'good at hiding'- like come on....those interdimensional creatures would beat his ass 💀

Also yes I 100% a demogorgan would NOT have slowly unlocked that shed door it would've ripped it apart to get inside let's bfr...something else did I and took Will 😭

I believe something had to have had sentience (probably vecna?) And doesn't kill him immediately, considering his further use, so it just leaves him alone for a WEEK?

I think he was purposely left alone, especially because we know he was singing in the upside down which would probably attract something towards the noise, Vecna definitely would've known because he can sense things through the vines and Will definitely wouldn't have known that

Even when Wills caught, he's not killed, he's taken elsewhere and is still alive, just unconscious? This is weird to me, a demogorgan wouldn't of done that, all depictions (apart from dart as a demodog) of demogorgans are shown to be immediately aggressive and attack unless locked in on a different subject (like in the S2 tunnels when the demodogs ignored them to run to the gate)

______________________________________

I definitely believe it was vecna, maybe making some sort of prototype for his plan to kill 4 people in season 4? I don't know, it's been awhile since I've scene S1 but I remember him kinda being like trapped vertically up in the vines with one in his mouth? I think there was definitely a plan vecna was trying to execute but it was foiled by Joyce and Hopper rescuing Will.

we know it's a hivemind, and that Will can feel the mindflayers presence, but at the end of season 4 he also states he can feel vecna hurting, which is weird because it's not like he could feel every individual in the hiveminds memories, he didn't feel the presence of every demogorgans current state and whatnot, only what the mindflayer felt, it's probably just because the mindflayer is also hurting because vecna is and he can sense that, but I thought Vecna would be smarter than to align himself into the hive Mind knowing it makes him more vulnerable, he can control them, but he isn't PART of them imo, because then if the mindflayer goes down so does he, and his 'underlings' would damage him whenever they're hurt, so I just don't think he'd do it, but Will can somehow still know how vecna feels, so I think he has some other connection to Vecna that'll be revealed in the opening scene...uh yeah sorry for rambling its dumb and I am NOT a good theorist

_______________________________________

I just want to know people's thoughts on what they think will be revealed in the opening, because I think it'll be that vecna kidnapped him, or something that reveals their connection, it'll be cool though!!!

Sorry this post has like no grammatical structures and its UNNECESSARILY LONG + probably annoying to read thanks for sticking with me 😭💗

[wordsandrobots]

You know, watching play-throughs of the Iron-Blooded Orphans DLC for Super Robot Wars, I am struck by how slightly *off* the characterisation is. I suspect that's a natural consequence something like this, throwing so many characters into the mix that you can't help render them down a bit (and then there's translation on top of that), but it feels very weird to have Shino saying:

Shino: When you're as smart and skilled as me, you can get used to anything. Akihiro: "Smart and skilled", my ass. First thing you did was try to steal some food, and I had to save you from an angry mob. Shino: Shush, you! That was just, uh...a bit of a blooper. Happens to the best of us.

This reads to me more like something written for Eugene (in fact, this whole exchange feels like something you'd see between Eugene and *Shino*, not Shino and Akihiro). It's one of those quirks that I have perhaps spent too long dwelling on, but in the anime, Shino's boasting is almost exclusively about Tekkadan as a group and rarely if ever about himself. If anything, he tends to own being a goof more readily, laughing off his own missteps (with a couple of amusing exceptions) despite an obvious ego regarding his fighting skills and a preoccupation with not appearing 'lame'.

(I do think Shino would be 100% down for stealing food if necessary, although given his in-canon attention to stocking his mobile suit with ration bars, it's just a generally weird situation to gesture at.)

That said, the flirting with Gundam Victory's all-women mobile suit squad feels on-point. Possibly that's just because this is the only official-ish example we have of what Shino is *actually* like when he's flirting. It all happens off-screen otherwise, so it's fun to see someone attempt to portray the kind of crashing and burning that got Lafter calling him a 'pierced idiot'.

Shino: ...So what I'm saying is, we should all go downtown and have some fun! Kite: Only if it's your treat. Shino: Yeah, sure, it's all on me! But ALL of you Shrikes gotta come! Come on? Pretty please? Peggy: You seriously can't take a hint, can you? Helen: I mean, he definitely can't, but... c'mon, free drinks! Franny: Let's just make this clear: you're just a walking wallet to us. Shino: Y'know what? I'm okay with that. Shino: Love is a journey, and it's gotta start somewhere. Ain't that right, Junko? Junko: Hah! You've got guts, I'll give you that. Keep it up, Shino. Shino: Yeah, baby! I can hear the door to your heart unlocking! Miliera: He's actually going after Junko? He's either very brave, or very, very dumb. Mahalia: He'll have to go through all of us before he gets anywhere near her. Shino: ALL of you? Whoa, mama! Cony: Wow, he really can't take a hint. It's kind of impressive, really. Juca: Honestly? I don't mind it. It means he's fitting in well with the team.

(I still haven't seen Victory but I know what happens to these ladies, so there is a layer at which this is . . . a choice in terms of character match-ups. Seems like that's half the fun of these games, though.)

But yeah. Given that this feeling of it not being quite on the money with characterisation extends to what I've seen of both Lelouch and Char too, I do think it's kind of inevitable with what this thing is -- broad-strokes and all that. The only bit that genuinely annoyed me was the site of Biscuit's death being changed; they have Orga reacting as if Biscuit was killed at Edmonton and saying he never expected to be back there, which is really bad example of cludging a whole heap of different stuff together for the sake of a condensed emotional beat.

Still, I can't deny it's highly amusing to have McGillis rocking up to get advice from his peers in scheming bastardry while Orga is sitting in the corner wondering why this is his life now. And Akihiro and Shino engaging in one-up-manship with the Ultramen is fun (even if I do not get along with that anime AT ALL).

[nerves-nebula]

so, my original question was this:

how do you go about writing topics like abuse, sa, etc., because i had thoughts about adding these sort of things in a storyline of mine, but i'm not sure how i would do it without being seen as somehow offensive. i want to do it mainly for awareness purposes, definitely not to romanticize it or justify it, as well as vent a bit personally (thats more with the abuse topic though)

so i was just wondering how you think of it, is all. thanks!

this is really long and meandering so. under the cut. also, might be a lot of typos, i'm not re-reading all of this to make sure :P

i mean well. yknow. ok so like. i'm not really an expert here, cause I mainly write stuff how I'd want to read it, and there's a lot of people who do NOT want to read abuse stories the way that I write them and that's fine. me personally? I like getting into the graphic bits. I remember what happened to me, for the most part. I also like getting into the complicated feelings (like for example the weird kinks you can get from trauma) but I mostly avoid posting that stuff here because. well. because of a lot of reasons, mainly that people actually do not enjoy when abuse survivors aren't chaste about the ICKY parts of their abuse heahfshaf.

BACK TO THE POINT THO: the main thing that i've usually seen other survivors get annoyed at is the sa & abuse being used for shock and nothing else. like, the victims of the abuse not mattering or being used as fodder. and also, victims not having much of a life outside of their abuse.

I know that's rich for me to say cuz I can't stop abusing my characters and I tend to not have much time to do things other than what I'm REALLY interested in- so to a lot of you guys my characters can seem like they're kind of just going through it 24/7, but that's not really how I see them since y'know, I see the whole thing in my head.

but I've noticed that myself and others like it when abused characters also have like, other shit going on. imagine that, I know. A lot of people want characters who's abuse is kind of tangential to them. (not my preference, but this is something I've seen a demand for)

in a way I have a similar thing going on, though I frame it more as "let them get silly with it" hah. As in, I like when characters who are abused or sexually assaulted get to also be silly (editing this to be more clear: It's nice when a character experiences a full range of emotions & experiences. or has a normal day, or does things completely unrelated to their abuse. it feels jarring to some people but the reality of living with abuse is often jarring, as i'm sure you're aware. because one moment you're having a normal ass day at school or something and the next you're at home experiencing things that people consider too horrific to even talk to you about. so a kid hanging out with their friends being a normal silly kid can go a long way to making what happens to them feel more real, at least to me)

I also like it when abuse victims don't react in pretty ways to their abuse. when they get messy with it, when it makes them mean and preemptively lash out at people, when they fight back and aren't innocent. and maybe they never were innocent (which doesn't mean they deserved abuse, but a lot of people subconsciously believe that if you are a bad enough person then your abuse doesn't count or it doesn't matter as much)

one of my favorite characters when I was younger was (and still kinda is) Yuudai from Sakana. for a lot of the comic Yuudai was a genuinely mean person. Sakana is a comedy comic tho, so of course things don't get too dark for too long and people mostly ignored or just scowled at his jabs, but the main character was genuinely scared of him. So if you think about it, you really wouldn't wanna be around Yuudai irl because he was NOT fun or nice haha. long story short Yuudai's got some personal stuff going on, including (spoilers) an emotionally abusive ex who tells him on screen that no one else can stand being around him because he's so mean.

AND THE THING IS,, that's not entirely a lie??? like, it's a lie that no one else could ever love Yuudai, but it's not entirely untrue that Yuudai is kind of mean. which is what makes it effective. it also makes it clear that not all people who are mean are abusive. which i like.

OK THAT WAS A HUGE TANGENT so let me try to actually give some advice.

FOR ME, writing about abuse is akin to writing about, for example, race. in that you really do need to know why it's wrong to be racist in order to make an anti-racism story. You need to go deeper than just "we're all people" and really understand the malicious and insidious history of race science. you need to internalize that race, as it's thought of in modern day america, is NOT REAL. it's completely constructed. there is no genetic difference between people that you can figure out based on the color of their skin and their facial features.

you need to understand that all of that was made up and pushed by a lot of people to justify a lot of things. and you need to understand, at least generally, the state of various races oppression, and the histories there too.

it's like that, to me. which isn't even to say that you need to understand the exact histories, just the general mechanisms, y'know? (unless you're making a story about a specific kind of racism in which case you kind of do need to look into stuff. like, at least listen to activists and the like)

but like, you don't have to study every case of abuse to write about abuse haha. you just have to understand a lot of the contemporary issues abuse victims have. yknow, the reasons people get abused, the reasons people can't LEAVE abusive situations. how abusers get away with it. which is easy enough to do cuz the internet means you can listen to abuse victims by like, category or something. and that's another thing, not every kind of abuse is the same.

for me, I like expressing the feelings of abuse victims. especially parental relationships. including stuff like how much they might love or have loved their abuser. rage, pain, pleasure, adoration, helplessness, denial, the addictiveness of being given a sliver of praise, or the horror of living with a monster who does nothing but hurt you :D! the slow realization that someone who was supposed to love you absolutely does not. or at least, they don't love you in a way that's good.

umm this has all been very meandering and i'm not sure if its been helpful, so here's a very meandering bullet point list of things i try to do (these are NOT requirements for a good story or anything, they're just rules i follow for myself so I don't lose to the plot. you can and absolutely should do things outside of this these are my personal thoughts I'm spewing over here)

at no point should the narrative imply that the abuse was justified or necessary (for example, imagine a narrative where a magical child is abused and that abuse is said to be the reason they can control their magic instead of hurting people. in the broken earth trilogy, multiple characters with magic-earth abilities have their hands broken as children to prove they can control themselves. we're told this is for their benefit, but we later on see a small island that raises their magic babies just fine without hurting them, so the idea that this systemic abuse is necessary is disproven by the narrative. this is cause that's how it is IRL, corporal punishment has never made someone more disciplined or emotionally regulated and that's just a fact)

Focus on the abuser can be extremely minimal to extremely extensive. it really depends on the story you're telling, but how much you focus on the abuser vs the victim can majorly shift the tone & what the story is about so it's important to consider this going in (in Switch by A. S. King, the abusive sister who's fucked up the entire family isn't even named. She's a hole in the narrative. Switch is largely about taking the time to heal from something bad once it's over, so this make sense. in the Broken Earth trilogy, one of the main POV characters is both a victim and perpetrator of some pretty extreme abuse. I'd say that abuse wise, the broken earth trilogy is more about trying to fix things the best you can, moving on, and trying to be better, even if it hurts)

There are a lot of different ways to react to abuse and it will change you (I would recommend looking into different people's experiences, or common ways people react to abuse. a lot of people aren't aware they were abused until it's long over. or, if you're lazy like me, you can mostly just draw from your own experiences hah. but if you're gonna like, for example, write an entire cast of people who've been abused, it can be good to get more variety in there. some people react in ways that are completely incompatible with other people. which can be fun in fiction, cause then it gets messy :D)

What are the other environmental factors? (race, gender, class, sexuality, species, etc. these can all play a fun role in how someone reacts to being abused)

What's the point/Why does this matter/Why am I even making this? (I ask this about all my stories, sometimes it's just "because I want to share it" and sometimes it's like, "because I would want to read it" but it can also be more high concept, like for example, there are a lot of stories out there about the cycle of abuse and how abuse victims can end up reenacting things that happened to them because they've just internalized it as normal behavior.

don't forget to have fun :) (fictional characters are toys and if you're not getting silly with it in a fulfilling way then whats the point. loosen up a bit! it doesn't have to be a PSA!)

I would worry less about being offensive and more about being genuine tbh. really, even if i don't like the way abuse is written about sometimes, it hurts way more to see an author just using Tragic Shit as fodder. abused characters as nothing but place holder NPC's to be saved with no thought put into how they feel about it. that shit sucks.

if anyone else wants to add something more concise or important, or like, ACTUAL writing advice, PLEASE do. I'm only one person and I'm not even that good of a writer. i only write because if i don't then I'll die.

[qqueenofhades]

Genuinely hope this isn't too weird or personal or a rant but here goes

Recently I've been having a bit of a sexuality crisis and I don't know what's going on. I'm a cis woman and I've never had any interest in men at all for my entire life and knew I wanted to be with a woman, I was completely confident I was gay because I just never felt anything toward men that I do women. But recently I have this one male friend who I'm very good friends with and he recently asked me out on a date. I've known him for a while and looking back, it's embarrassingly obvious that I had a crush. Like I quite literally described it as a platonic crush (spoiler alert: it was not platonic) to one of my friends and compared it to the exact same feelings as a romantic one and I would not shut up about him and how he's an amazing, wonderful person, which he absolutely is.

And I've had crushes on women before which was probably why I was... in denial, for lack of a better phrase? And I didn't want to ruin anything I had with him as a friendship, I had no idea how I felt, and apparently every single one of our mutual friends realized that something was up except for me. He also knows I'm some flavor of not-straight even if I've never explicitly been "hi I'm a lesbian" just because it's never come up in conversation and he's cool with that, even if he's straight himself. But he's such a nice and amazing person and I'm really excited for whatever might happen and I feel like even if it doesn't work out romantically he'd still be a great friend.

I never had the "oh my god am I gay" sexuality crisis, I was just always gay and confident in that about myself, and to make things even worse, I'm not publicly out but basically all my friends do know that I thought I was lesbian and it's actually kinda hard trying to be like "yeah I thought I was gay too, apparently I'm straighter than I thought" but this is an incredibly recent development, I still feel more comfortable with a lesbian label than bi or pan or anything but I'm completely and hopelessly attracted romantically to a man and I feel like I've lost the right to use that label as someone who is apparently NOT exclusively attracted to women when up until about a week ago, I spent my entire life thinking I was. And everything that's going on all of a sudden is just weird and confusing and frustrating and there's a lot of good stuff and a lot of not-so-good stuff all associated with this.

So I dunno, if you have any sort of advice or anything to say, I'm not sure, I just feel like I need to talk about this somehow and try to figure out who I am and how I'm feeling, and this is really hard

Welp. Oh honey. I feel bad that instead of being able to just enjoy the possibility of a new romance with a great person, you have to worry about whether you're the "right" kind of queer or whether you "can't" identify as a lesbian anymore or all of this. I can definitely see the rhetorical roots of what's worrying you, and especially the way it is viciously propagated in online queer spaces, so yeah.

First of all, and most important: absolutely nobody, NOBODY, in the entire world gets to tell you which label you should or should not use, or try to strip it from you. I know the younger queer community in general is INCREDIBLY fond of restrictive gatekeeping, attempting to devise micro-labels for everything, and insisting that you have to be Just One Thing and Not Another, but it's... not true. It's not that you're "straighter than you thought" (which in this framework is automatically pejorative/less worthy than being "properly gay"), it's just that sexuality is fluid, the queer experience is fluid, and you've found someone that you're attracted to regardless of gender -- which is the whole concept of queer sexuality in a nutshell. If any of your friends want to give you grief or insist that you're a Bad Lesbian or whatever, I cordially invite them to take a nice perambulation into the nearest body of water. It is NOT THEIR BUSINESS and if they want to shame you for discovering something new about yourself, rather than support you, then fuck 'em. I am so serious. If you're still most comfortable identifying as a lesbian, that's what you are! Over time, you might decide to move to more of a bi/pan label, or just "queer," or whatever else. Or you may not. Either one is totally fine.

Secondly, this feeling has its roots in the radfem ideology of the 1970s, which has been repackaged, reheated, and distributed in TERF spaces today, and obviously fuck TERFs, we don't welcome TERFs or anything they think about in this space, so yeah. The idea was that women who had any kind of romantic or sexual attraction to men at all were "inferior," that "gold star lesbians" only ever had sex with/romantic relationships with women, and that any queer woman/wlw who had any kind of attraction to men was just obliged by the patriarchy to pretend that they did. In other words, bisexual women were just "lesbians in waiting" who were deluding themselves about wanting men at all, sexual contact with men made you "impure" or less "worthy," and all kinds of other gross things. This is obviously a) wrong, b) hella biphobic, c) and still harmfully prevalent in modern TERF spaces, which do their utmost to convince the younger queer generations that this is the "only right way" to do it. Which, since being queer is all about breaking singular paradigms and embracing fluidity, is total nonsense. It's why they hate the word "queer" itself and try to convince people that it's the "q-slur," because it's too deliberately broad, non-determinative, and inclusive.

Take me for example: as a younger person, I first experienced attraction to/romantic interest in men, so I assumed (HA) that I was straight, and totally ignored the part where I also had those feelings about women. (The amount of "I bet straight women also have these thoughts!" that I did was, uh, a lot.) It wasn't until my late 20s that I consciously acknowledged it and went uh hey, super not straight here, so I began identifying as bisexual. Now in my mid-thirties, when I'm only attracted to women in real life, mostly want to spend time with women, and would only think about marrying a woman, I've decided that "lesbian" is probably the best term for me. But I still do experience attraction to men from time to time! Usually a man that I have no chance of ever actually meeting or having a relationship with; i.e. blorbo from my shows or something like that, and when the hyperfixation fades, the attraction often (if not always) does as well. So maybe there's an element of knowing that I WON'T actually have to do anything about it that plays into it. Who knows. The point is, I still call myself a lesbian, because it's what makes the most sense for my orientation as I experience it, and I do not have to drum myself out of using this label because I still sometimes find men attractive. There are a lot of people in the world! There are a lot of experiences! There is no one RIGHT way to be LGBTQ, and anyone telling and/or insisting that there is, and that you should be shamed if you don't do it exactly in their narrow-minded, bigoted way, should safely and swiftly be completely ignored.

Anyway: you should feel absolutely free to pursue this relationship, you should feel absolutely free to call yourself whatever you damn well please, and if that evolves over time, great! If it doesn't, also great! You alone know who you are and have the most right to define your identity and experience, and anyone who would give you grief over it is definitely, DEFINITELY not worth the time of day.

[lovechrissturniolo]

I've always dreamed of...

- part 2 -

Fan meets Chris S. / fanfiction

contains: mention of alcohol (moderate), kissing, making out, sexual tension

Vicky sat on Chris' lap while they kissed passionately and their touch became more and more intense.

His hands wandered over the bare back under her shirt, Vicky tousled his already messy hair and grabbed his upper arm full of desire for more.

Chris tried to control himself - it had been a really long time since he had been intimate with a woman and he wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off and feel her naked body. But he had some doubts.

"Wait..." he pressed out with great difficulty and looked into her shining eyes. Vicky looked at him lovingly - she was almost sure what he wanted to say.

As he struggled for words, she spoke her guess. "We're not going further than that?"

Chris smiled uncertainly, but looked a little relieved. "Yes, I think so..." he mumbled, leaning back into the sofa and continuing with a sigh: "I'm not convinced at all though..."

Vicky laughed - he looked so cute sitting there, not knowing what to say. "That's okay. I thought so!"

"Really?" he asked, frowning.

"Yes." Vicky confirmed, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. "There'd be more rumors on the internet if you were the type of guy to sleep with random fans all the time..."

"Okay, first of all: That's right, I'm not!" He put his hands on her hips and pulled her a little closer. "Secondly, you're clearly not any fan, otherwise you wouldn't be here and stuff... and third: I can hardly tell you how much I want more right now!"

In confirmation, he kissed her tenderly and slowly, stroking her thighs over the fabric of her jeans. "What are your concerns?" Vicky asked sympathetically.

"I don't want to take advantage of the situation, you know? We had a few cocktails, we just met... Maybe you just think you want it and actually don't..."

"Oh believe me, I definitely want that!" Vicky smirked mischievously and bit her lower lip. "But being this close to you is already the best thing that's ever happened to me, so-"

She shrugged slightly and kissed him again. "I'm totally okay with whatever you say."

Chris blushed a little - feeling ridiculously flattered by her words - and returned her kiss passionately. He was really torn as to what he should do.

"I never thought I'd ever even meet you!" Vicky whispered. "If you want me to go, I'll go! Either way, this will be the most wonderful day of my life forever!"

"I don't want you to go," Chris said quickly. "It's more... I don't know how to say it..."

"You really don't have to explain anything! As a passionate long-term fan, I know what goes on on the internet and why you have to be careful! I have your trust to be here, which is already insanely awesome."

The more Vicky showed understanding, the less Chris wanted her to leave.

"What if we just go to bed and you stay the night?" he asked shyly, feeling a little weird as he said it. "That would be great!" Vicky replied warmly.

They stood up and Chris led her by the hand to the stairs. "My room is..." he was about to explain.

"Downstairs?" she added accidentially too fast and he realized that Vicky probably knew where his room was from the vlogs.

"Oh my god, sorry! No more creepy fan vibes, I promise!" she added, embarrassed and covered her mouth. "Here-" Vicky threw her handbag onto the couch. "Phone stays upstairs..."

"You're not creepy!", he laughed, to her relief. "It's just the most bizarre situation I've ever been in!" Chris intuitively eyed her up and down and moistened the lower lip with his tongue.

"But I can handle it..." he added with a husky voice, which instantly brought back the sexual tension between them.

"Do you mind if I use your shower real quick?" Vicky as they entered his room. "Not a bit..." Chris replied, placing a few soft kisses on her neck.

⬅️ more

[unforth]

I've been trying for ages to figure out how to put something into words about The Youth In Fandom and I still don't think I've quite got it but I did reach an insight about it that I think is valuable enough that I'm gonna take a stab at writing it.

For starters, I want to make it clear, there is no "The Youth In Fandom Problem." Based on my efforts running the art sideblogs for danmei fandoms, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that a vast minority of people of all ages are antis, purity wankers, pro-censorship, ageist, etc. Even among people who mark their bios with their age, it's a shockingly low percentage of people under 18 who are being super weird about this stuff, and I think that's something a lot of older folks bemoaning The Younger Generation could stand to know and be reminded of. This isn't a majority, it's just a vocal minority, and tbh...that vocal minority has always been there, at least in my own fandom experiences.

That said, I've personally been the target of "y r u in fandom, old woman? Go take care of your kids!" bullshit, and yes it's definitely real and yes it definitely happens. (I am not old, I am not a woman, I was here before the people who said that to me were born, and I spend all the rest of my time taking care of my kids, so...).

All that introduction is to posit a theory:

The kinds of people who say "you should grow out of it, you're too old for fandom, etc." don't actually really...like what they like.

I know that sounds batshit. They're here blogging about it 24/7, of course they're obsessed! But I really genuinely find myself wondering...like...are they actually obsessed? Or are they just performing obsessed because that's what their peer group is doing? Are they just following along with their friends, mimicking their friends' enthusiasm, going with the flow because they're scared of what will happen if they say "actually I didn't think that show was very good"?

I ended up with this as a theory to posit because is to arrive at "you should grow out of it," you have to start with "I will grow out of it." And to get to "I will grow out of it," you have to start with "I may be into this now but I will definitely Change." And to get to "I will definitely Change," you have to start with the base assumption that loving certain types of media isn't just part of who you are, but rather a temporary persona you've assumed overlaying some deeper Self that will be revealed with time - or that's already been revealed and that you're deliberately masking for whatever reason.

Lemme put it less abstractly (but more longwindedly, lmao).

When I was 16, I was fucking terrified. There were all these things I loved - Star Trek, Hercules and Xena, Babylon 5, Slayers, Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, the Wheel of Time, many others - some I'd been into for years, some I'd only just discovered. And I looked at the adults in the world around me, who didn't sleep with stuffed toys, who got into long-term romantic and sexual relationships, who settled into careers that they stuck with for 20, 30, 40 years, who had heaps of responsibilities, and it was so frightening I literally had trouble sleeping at night. My senior year of high school, I trained myself to sleep with a pillow instead of a stuffie because "what would people in college think if they saw me snuggling a stuffed wolf?" That was something I was prepared to sacrifice to be An Adult (tm), something I was (irrationally) ashamed of, something that wasn't so much a part of my personhood that I couldn't give it up. When I left home to go to school at 17, I left my wolf at home. (I brought him with me a year later, and he's now on my bookshelf. Less disposable than 16-year-old me thought, as it turns out, but that's another story.) But there were things about myself I wasn't prepared to sacrifice to fit in during college. I still wore my Star Wars shirt. I still hung my anime posters. I still listened to J Pop. My roommate might judge me. My classmates might judge me. My professors might judge me. I didn't care. Loving those were part of who I was, and I wasn't prepared to give that up.

I found solace by looking at the adults in my life who hadn't had to give up their "childish fancies." I looked at my mother, who introduced me to Star Trek, and thought if she didn't have to stop loving Star Trek to be An Adult, then why should I? I looked at my grandfather, on whose bookshelves I first found the Lord of the Rings, and thought if he didn't have to give up LotR to be An Adult, then why should I? They might not wear fandom shirts, they might not go to conventions, they might not engage in the same way that I did, but they still loved these things, and it gave me hope.

When I was saw adults who still did fan things, who dressed how they wanted, who had cool hair styles or colors, who had tattoos, I thought "wow, what a cool person. I hope I get to grow up to be like them. I hope I'll be that comfortable in my own skin when I'm that age, because I'm sure not that comfortable in my own skin NOW."

I'll have to change in some ways - find A Career, figure out this "attraction" thing everyone keeps fucking talking about, buy a house, all the rest - but I'll be able to love the things I love.

I will still be "me" when I'm an adult, just Me-Plus-More.

I wanted to grow up to be that adult. I was prepared to take figurative arrows, to fight, to slog through, to retain the part of me that felt most valuable - my ability to love the things I loved without apologizing for it. And I knew I could do that, because I already had. Man, the shit people gave me in middle school for being an out-and-proud Trekkie? smh. It was baaaaad.

Time passes. Now I'm 40, and yes, I have changed. I've had more than one career. I got married. I figured out I never did have to figure out that "attraction" shit because I learned asexuality existed and. uh. Oh. I had children. I bought a house.

And I still have a bookcase of manga and I still have a Tumblr blog and I've found new fandoms - many, many new fandoms - nearly all for franchises that didn't even exist when I was 16 and so so scared that I used to literally break down and cry over the prospect of "having" to "give up childish things."

I got myself through on the belief that I'd still be me, and I was right. More than 20 years later, I AM still me.

And that's what leads me back to "why do The Youth think they'll age out of fandom?" And it leads me back to "I can only assume their fandom participation is mostly performative." Because look. This is who I was when I was 10 and read Lord of the Rings, and it was who I was when I was 12 and I started watching Star Trek when Voyager debuted, and it's who I was when I was 17 and I pulled an all-nighter to watch the second season of Fushigi Yuugi, and it's who I was when I was 21 and spent my birthday totally sober and gaming with my friends, and it's who I was at 26 when I got buried up to my eyeballs in Supernatural, and it's who I was at 37 when I watched The Untamed and knew as easy as breathing oh my god I've found the next obsession.

If it's an embraced, realized, adored part of your persona, there's absolutely no reason to think it's going to go away. And there's no reason nor need for it to. There are always gonna be people who judge others for having passions, and there are always gonna be people who embrace others for having passions, and you just gotta identify and avoid the former and find and adore the latter. If you're young, and you love fandom, and you're afraid you, too, will "have to" give up childish things...congratulations! You've got nothing to be afraid of! You never have to change that aspect of yourself!

But...I know these teens on Tumblr who are bullying others already know that because they can see us everywhere. And instead of going, as I did, "oh wow, those older people who still love the things they love are cool! how reassuring! I can be like them!" they think "EW OLD PERSON NOT ALLOWED THIS IS MY ROOM DO NOT ENTER."

And that's weird. When I try to think, "What kind of mentality would lead someone to feel that way, act that way, etc.?" I arrive at: being in fandom is something that they're embarrassed about. Something they're ashamed of, that they think is shameful. Something childish and therefore only for kids, even when the media they're a fan of is entirely made for and by adults. Something they think is made for them in that moment but that they'll be able to easily discard when they move on to more important parts of their lives. Something they know in their heart is transient. Something they're just doing because their friends are doing it.

That's when they'd think "why would an adult still do this?"

When it's something you "know" will be "just a phase," you don it like you don the identity of "high school student," something that'll get shucked a minute after graduation.

And while I found the idea of giving up fandom terrifying, I again can only assume that for these type of person, NOT giving up fandom becomes something terrifying. "Of course this is transient. Of course I'm going to change. I can't wait to change, I hate who I am now! Why did these so-called adults not change? Changing to not like this kind of thing is a sign of Maturity and Adulthood that I am eagerly waiting for, because I believe there's something wrong with being this way, and therefore I assume the adults I see doing this are immature, have something wrong with them, are childish, cannot be Doing Adulthood Right, because they didn't give up the thing."

"I know, in my heart, that I can't WAIT to change, so if they don't want to change, if they haven't changed, something must be wrong with them."

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the only reason. People are way too complex for there ever to be One Explanation Of All. I'm sure some of the teens who engage in ageist bullying just think they're ~cool~ and ~different~ and their name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Others are just uncomfortable with adults, with or without cause, and think "you don't belong in the same space as me." Some surely have drank the conservative kool-aid even as they've tried to change and are pantomiming the bullshit they were fed by those around them in new and unpleasant ways. Some think "this media was made for people like me and anyone who isn't like me can't possibly be engaging it in the Correct And Proper Way."

Some will grow out of it - out of fandom, or out of thinking that being an adult in fandom is wrong/bad/inappropriate/immature/whatever.

A few especially unpleasant ones...won't.

Unlike young!me, who looked at fannish grown ups and thought "wow, I could grow up to be like them, they're so cool!", you think "ew, I hope I don't grow up to be like them, they're so weird!"

And if that's you...why are you here?

If you don't actually like who are you when you're in fandom, that's okay. You don't have to stay. If you lose your friends because your interests change, then those friends stink and you didn't need them anyway; people who actually care about you will always keep by your side even if your interests and theirs diverge. But just cause YOU are performing your interest in fandom...doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of us genuinely like it here. And you might think that's fucked up of us, but it's honestly none of your fucking business. You do what you gotta do to grow up, and leave the rest of us already-grown-ups alone.

And if you do genuinely love it and you're just scared because you think you'll have to change - that you'll reach some mystical age of majority and suddenly wake up a different person...you won't. For better and for worse, you'll still be you, so if there's things about yourself you don't like, it'd be better to start working on unpacking that psychological baggage now, because there's never gonna be a miracle point where you Feel Better And Like An Adult unless you put in the effort to change.

Teenagers...you will not grow up to be a new person. You will never give up who you are. You will grow up to be You-Plus-More.

And if that's something you hear and go "omg that's great news!" then I'm glad to be the one who told you. Take heart. There's hope. You can be you and that WILL be okay. You can face up to and grow from the things about yourself you don't like. You can learn more about yourself. You have time, and you will be able to improve yourself, to become more like the parts of yourself you like and less like the parts you hate.

And if that's something you hear and go "oh god no that's the worst" then you need to stare that reaction in the face and understand that the only way change is coming is if you make it happen for yourself. No one is strong-arming you into being a fan. If it's not for you...then stop. It's literally that easy. But don't take out your uncertainty and fear on other random people who are more comfortable with themselves than you are. Most of us are not here because of fear. We're here in the face of our fear, as a fuck you to our fear, because we also grew up being told we'd have to give up so-called childish things to be An Adult, and it turns out that was a pile of bullshit and we can have careers AND anime posters. And we can afford more anime posters, cause our parents are no longer telling us how to spend our money.

If your participation in fandom is primarily performative...just stop performing. Be yourself, and find your OWN passion, and stop shitting on the people who have managed to be more true to themselves and their own interests. You're not cool and edgy and different; you're just an asshole and a bully, and I pity you.

Anyway as you can tell from this rambly mess of a post, I haven't really gotten my finger on my point yet, but idk. I've been thinking about this and I think there's something there???