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#i've finally did it after years it feels like
retiredteabag · 2 days
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winter weight (nanami ver)
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Synopsis: nanami has gained some weight this winter, it seems you don't mind.
based on this fanfic I wrote for Toji which was based on this fanart! thank you @lil-sis for requesting more nanami :,)
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You had known Nanami Kento for years before you were romantically involved. He had never made an inappropriate comment, always treated you with the utmost respect, and was all-around, the truest form of a gentleman.
For a time, you locked away your feelings for the kind man, sure he could never see you in that way, but little did you know, the man in question hid from your gaze, not because he did not want to see you, but in fear that you would see him. See him for what he was: a man, obsessed.
You had been with Ken for nine months now and he was everything you could want and more. He was communicative, thoughtful, and romantic. He looked at you in a way nobody had before. Likewise, for you, those nine months passed with comfortable ease.
This was your first winter together, and with the changing of the seasons you learned day by day that the man you knew was your life partner. The both of you were homebodies in a sense, however, with the chilly air and light snowfall this week, you were even more keen on a night in together.
You raced around the house, lighting candles, simmering mulling spices on the stove, and laying out blankets for the two of you. The house felt even cozier knowing that Ken was coming to join you.
He had spent the afternoon with his parents and was coming over after having dinner, he told you to eat without him and you had just finished cleaning your plate when you received a text,
"I am on my way now, sweetheart, is there anything you would like from the store?"
Ken was like this, domestic in the way that made you want to bounce around the room. You thought for a moment before deciding you would probably need more eggs. Earlier this week the two of you had planned a movie night, the next morning you were both hoping to bake cookies together while playing board games or taking turns reading to one another.
You informed him of the need for eggs and he told you he would be just a few more minutes. During that time you scrolled through the choices of movies, picking a few for the two of you to choose from.
Despite being together longer than the gestational period for a baby human, you still received butterflies in your stomach at the thought of his arrival. Knowing he was nearly home, you bounded to the kitchen and faced the door, the room smelled delicious, the only thing missing was his presence, and perhaps another layer of clothing.
Even so, you could hear his footsteps approach and knew that the two of you would share a blanket and body heat in no time.
When the man finally opened the door he was smiling shyly, a red dusting across his face from the cold. He wore a long winter coat, and in his arms were a bouquet of flowers and a wrapped gift.
You rushed to greet him, taking the day bag from his arm,
"Oh! Ken, they're beautiful!" You stood on tiptoe as he bent his knee and you kissed his cold cheek. "Goodness, you're freezing! Come in please!"
"Hello, my love." He smiled more broadly now, wrapping his free arm around you, "This if from my parents, but they told me not to let you open it until the holidays."
A warmth ran through you, the Nanami's were all too kind. Kento set the flowers on the counter and stepped toward the coat rack by the door to retire his shoes and jacket.
In the motion it took for him to pull the sleeves off his broad shoulders, you took him in. Leaning on the kitchen counter you allowed yourself to stare at him. His dress shirt was tight on his arms, and his suit pants clung to his thighs. You took a step toward him again.
"I almost don't want you to change, you look so handsome in your work clothes."
"Well, I've certainly put on some weight. These pants hardly fit now." he looks increasingly uncomfortable, not to be in your presence but to show that he was dressed in such a tailored fashion.
"Ken, my dear, you look incredible." You contain the desire to squeeze his thigh by walking to the bedroom and bringing out a pair of sweats and a cotton shirt.
"Although you are a delight to see this way, I'll let you get comfortable." You smile and pinch his bicep.
"Thank you, dear, I don't believe I've ever been so heavy. It's all the good restaurants you introduce me to, perhaps I should get back into the gym." He had grabbed the soft clothes you picked for him and walked into the bedroom to change.
"You're the one bringing me to all those good restaurants so you can't just blame me." You smile from outside the door.
"I'm just grateful you're with me" He laughs, pulling the shirt over his head.
"Ugh!" You exclaim, "Of course, Ken, don't say something so ridiculous." He laughs but you are still caught on what he said earlier. "And don't start going to the gym, you look great, very chewable."
He pops out from behind the door and looks down at you, amused. "I'm not sure how to feel about that descriptor, but if you still like me with extra weight, then I suppose I can remain comfortable."
"Still like you?" You gasp offended, "Ken, I grow more attracted to you every day, I don't care how tight your clothes are, in fact, it's a good look."
He gives you a mischievous face, "Go sit on the couch, pick a movie, stop trying to seduce me."
You laugh, incredulous, "I'm not trying anything, I'm only speaking the truth." You shrug, bounding to the couch and crawling beneath the blanket. Ken brings two mugs of cider before joining you.
That night you lay on his chest, watching a cheesy romance, the both of you laughing at the silly main character. You tilt your head up, to watch his face, your eyes catching the beginning of a few grey hairs dispersed in his blonde hair. You gently run your hand through his undercut.
In that moment, in his arms, as comfortable as you've ever been, you are sure, he is the man you will grow old with.
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endereies · 17 hours
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PRODUCER!CHRIS X DANCER!READER INTRO
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Pairing: Chris x reader
Contains: A sweet introduction to my new au! Mood board based on these characters!
Requested?: no
Author's notes: I've been creating mood boards and backstory all day so I hope y'all are ready. I have wanted to create something like this for a while so I'm glad i can get this out.
Word Count: 690
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✭ - MusicProducer!Chris x Dancer!Reader
༊*·˚ Producer!Chris created his profile through the musical world, spreading his name through hip-hop. It was hard to not know his name since it was plastered everywhere. Starting at 16 allowed him a lot of freedom and time to experiment with his music taste and find inspiration he craved. Years later at 21, he has discovered an audience around the world who adored him and his music.
Ever since he was younger he craved individuality from his brothers. Don't get him wrong, he adored them. It was simply the constant generalisation that spurred him to be different. He didn't want to be just one of the 'Sturniolo Triplets', he wanted to be him. He tended to be hard-headed and tempered, replaced with passion as he grew older. One thing he couldn't manage was his work ethic, Chris simply never stopped. He never felt burnt out by it. It was the amount of pure energy that became his fuel. His lyrics and melody embedded in each song would often stray from how he truly felt, no matter how much it shifted.
Being based in LA, California gave him easy access to opportunities. When his parents realized how much he enjoyed all the aspects of music and experimentation, they placed him in lessons for guitar. Starting out with hires and a simple acoustic guitar he was understanding his tastes more every day. Even if his siblings began to thank the silence, the support from them was immense. With technological advances and stretching his talents over multiple instruments with age, Chris moved over to production.
However he wanted to branch out more which led him to the idea of creating music videos. Following the success of his second album he aspired to become more creative. Ideas for each song swarmed his head and his production team was on board with almost any thought he shared. One of which being back up dancers for is stage performances.
Without a second thought, his team sent out applications across the state for dance studios to step up to this opportunity. Little did he know that Elite Dance Academy soon become his favorite.
༊*·˚ Dancer!Reader is an internationals champion amongst her dance studio troupe members. Her name was recognizable within the dance community, having won her nationals solo twice in a row. As a strong independent dancer, it's hard to miss her confidence on the stage. Dancing since she was 4 gives her about 16 years of experience to flaunt to an audience.
As a child, dancing became such an expresser of emotions when her words failed her. Whenever things got bad at home or she struggled with school, dance started to be the one constant she could heavily rely on. As the years went on, she was enrolled in Elite Dance Academy, starting in J troupe. Beginning at the bottom of her new studio simply meant she had to force chances to prove herself, that's when auditions rolled around. At the age of 18, she finally found herself falling into the same rows as A troupe members. These dancers were intense and she adored it. Finding her strengths in contemporary and hip-hop, she excelled. Y/n wanted her name known, and that's exactly what she got.
She was determined to place her name above the ranks, almost posing herself to injury. She never quite got the grasp of making friends within her troupe, only being close to an odd two or three. Yet when necessary, she showed teamwork which won results. While being independent, anxious feelings would occasionally spiral as a fear of not being the best. She had to succeed and she felt almost like a failure when she didn't.
After eavesdropping on a conversation, Y/n heard news of 'Chris Sturniolo' being interested in our dancers. She ran with that news. At home, she studied his name, finding his Spotify easily. The vast number of listeners shocked her and immediately, she pressed play on his most popular 'Angel Energy'. Obsessed with his music, she choreographed certain pieces of a routine.
She was prepared to make her name reach more than the dance world, including Chris's mind.
tags:
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@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckers @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturn @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris
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allthesmutl0vers · 1 day
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Fred Weasley x F! Reader Smut
MDNI, 18+ Requests: OPEN Reblogs and comments are always appreciated.🥰💖 Request: Smut with Fred or George, female reader please! Requested By: @justgethappy Word Count: 3,251 A/N: Sorry this took me so long, I had a family emergency. But I think it might be worth the wait. 🫡🌶️🫠 Summary: You've been crushing on your best friend, Fred Weasley, for years. One night, during a game of truth or dare in the common room, you're forced to finally admit your feelings. Unbeknownst to you, he already knows and has been waiting for you to admit it so he can ravage you in the way he's only ever dreamed about. TW: Heavy spice (P! in V!- Unprotected, but on birth control), light BDSM (choking, some bondage), Oral (M & F receiving and giving), Gagging (no vomit), Possessive!Fred, Spanking, Claiming Kink, Praise Kink, Degradation Kink, God Kink. (Let me know if I missed anything.)
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"Nervous?" Fred asks as he sits down beside me. My heart flutters as his hand brushes mine as he leans back on his hands. How I've managed to focus on anything all of these years with him always at my side is nothing short of a miracle.
I shake my head with a small smile spreading across my lips. "Nope," Liar. I lie and lean closer, smelling fireworks and cedar. God, why does he have to smell so good? "You?" I ask as Lee sits down with an empty bottle in the middle of all of us.
Fred chuckles, biting his lower lip with a smirk as he looks me up and down. "Not even a little," he winks. He's such a flirt that for just a moment, I think he actually might be flirting with me. But that's crazy. Not only did he just break up with Katie Bell, he's my best friend, not to mention the biggest fucking flirt in the school.
"Everyone ready?" Lee asks, rubbing his hands together with a smirk. We all nod and agree, and he clears his throat. "Brilliant. Now, remember, you have to do your dare or answer your truth honestly. If you don't, you get a jinx, and we'll know you're lying anyway. Not to mention, you'll have to live with the jinx for a whole day," he laughs.
My stomach flips with nerves. I don't think I could live with 'liar' or 'wimp' painted across my forehead for a day. My plan of action is just to pick 'truth' the entire game. It's better to admit something embarrassing than have to do some horrific dare like stripping and running down the corridor and back like Lee had to do last time.
As the game goes on, I'm lucky enough to not have to bottle land on me. Angelina is dared to make out with George. Lee admits to having stolen from Honeydukes multiple times. Harry had to take a shot while doing a handstand. George had to eat an entire handful of puke-flavored Bertie Bott's Beans. (Lucky for Angelina, it was after their make out session.) And Fred was dared to give Harry a very sultry lap dance. I might just make it out of this game unscathed. At least, that's what I thought until the bottle landed on me.
"Y/n," Lee smirks. "Truth or dare, love?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me. He knows I'll pick truth, but he also knows about my crush on Fred. If I pick truth, he'll no doubt ask about it. But if I pick dare, he'll no doubt make me act on it.
I take a deep breath and sit up. "Truth," I tell him in a flat voice that contrasts the adrenaline and nervousness rushing through my veins, and settling deep in my stomach.
Lee smirks and looks at Fred before looking back at me. "Y/n, is it true you have a crush on one of our Weasley twins?" My stomach drops, and the only thing keeping me from completely passing out is the fact he didn't specifically name Fred.
I weigh the options for a moment, which is pointless because if I say no, the jinx will out me anyway. "Yes," I admit, barely above a whisper, as I feel my cheeks flush. Goddamn it, Lee.
"Which one?" Angelina asks from my other side, her eyes narrowing at me. Shit, maybe Lee should've asked if it was Fred. I know Angelina likes George, and as much as I love him, he's all hers if she wants.
"I answered my truth," I try to play it off as a joke. I can tell her in private later if I have to.
Angelina spins the bottle, then stops it as it lands on me again. "Truth or dare?" She damn near spits at me.
"That's not-"
"Pick," Angelina practically seethes.
"Truth," I answer hesitantly.
"Which one do you like? Fred or George?" She asks sternly. Merlin, I could strangle her with my bare hands right now. I say a silent prayer for George if this is what he's into. But from the look on his face, he might be rethinking Angelina. "We're waiting," she says impatiently when I don't answer right away.
"Fred," I admit, feeling the blooming jinx fade away. I watch relief wash over her face, and she smiles. I'm so glad you're relieved, bitch. Because I might just fucking die. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and refuse to look at Fred, who I can feel staring me down. "Let's just keep playing," I mutter, my heart not into it anymore.
When the game finally ends, I sit and watch everyone else leave before I stand and let out a huge sigh. Whatever fallout comes from admitting my feelings for Fred can wait until tomorrow. "Y/n," Fred's voice says softly behind me as I reach the stairs that lead to the girls dorms.
Guess we're dealing with it tonight.
I turn to look at my best friend as he steps closer. "Fred, I-" he cuts me off by taking my face in his hands and pressing his lips to mine harshly. Fuck, is this really happening? I lean into it, my hands finding his waist and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.
When our lips finally part, my eyes flutter open, looking up into his eyes. "It's about bloody time you admit it," he chuckles against my lips. "Merlin, woman. You know how to keep a man waiting."
My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What do you mean? You knew?" I ask, a soft gasp escaping my lips.
Fred chuckles, shaking his head and resting his forehead down on mine. His hands roam to my waist, gripping me tightly and making me suck in a breath. "Darling, I always knew. I was just waiting for you," he says with a smirk. "Why do you think I left Katie?" he shakes his head, lifting it and tipping my face up to his by my chin. "She isn't you," he grips me tighter, making me clench my thighs. "You take up so much damn space in my head. I couldn't cum unless I was looking at the back of her head, pretending she was you," he says huskily.
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out, leaving me looking like a blubbering fish. He pretended someone else was me? He left someone because they weren't me? My brain is in a fog. The only thing it's able to focus on is Fred, fucking. I've imagined it so many times as I pleasure myself under my sheets. I feel my panties dampen at the thought of Fred between them, fucking me better, harder than anyone else before.
"Show me," the words escape my mouth before I can stop them.
Fred looks at me as if I just handed him a million galleons. "Don't temp me, darling. Say you don't mean it," he says huskily, his grip on my hips tightening to the point of pain, but I don't move away.
I bite my lower lip, my teeth biting into the tender flesh under his darkening gaze. "I mean it," I tell him.
Fred groans, his head tipping back before his eyes meet mine again. "Come with me."
Fred grabs my hand, leading me to his dorm room. I can see it's empty, but that doesn't mean that Lee or George won't be back soon. Fred doesn't seem bothered by it, however, given the way he spins me, pinning me to his door. One of his hands pins both of my wrists above my head, the other hand gripping my waist as he presses his lips to mine.
I hum with pleasure into the kiss, parting my lips to allow his tongue to enter when he licks my bottom lip. Fred groans, his grip on my wrists tightening as he moves to kiss down my jaw, my neck, and the sweet spot right behind my ear that turns me into putty in his hands. "Freddie," I whisper.
"Mm, yes, darling?" He hums as his other hand moves to my ass, cupping it and lifting my leg to wrap around his waist.
I hold back a moan as my desire and lust for him only grows. "What- what if they come back?" I ask with a hiss as he nips my neck.
Fred chuckles in my neck, his breath sending a pleasurable shiver down my spine. His eyes meet mine, the usual funny and kind sparkle in them long forgotten as they darken. "Don't worry about them. They won't be back tonight," he says firmly.
I nod, helpless, as he lifts me by my thighs and carries me to his bed, laying me down on my back. Fred kisses me again, kneeling between my legs as his fingers work to unbutton my top with haste. Once all of the buttons are undone, he lifts me by the small of my back as I remove it the rest of the way, taking off my bra along with it.
Fred pulls back, breaking the kiss as he looks me up and down, biting his lower lip. "Merlin, have mercy, woman," he groans. He lays me back down, propping himself up on one hand as the other moves to grope my breast, his fingers pinching and rolling my nipple between them, making me let out a whimpering moan. "You're so fucking beautiful. You have no idea how long I've waited for this."
My fingers unbutton his top, tugging on it so remove it as he leans back to finish pulling it off. "Then get to it, Weasley," I tease with a smirk. I stare at his chest with need. Merlin, quidditch does a body good. His toned and muscular shoulders, his profound abs tensing at my teasing.
Fred's hands move up my thighs painfully slow to the waistband of my skirt and panties, pulling them both down and tossing them aside in one fluid motion, leaving me bare in front of him. "Watch your tone, darling," he warns as he cups my pussy, making me gasp as he slides a finger between my folds and circles my entrance, careful not to touch my clit.
"Or else you won't let me cum?" I tease, grinding myself against his hand, desperate for his fingers to reach my clit.
Fred smirks as he leans over me again, thrusting a finger inside of me and eliciting a moan to leave my throat. "No, darling," he teases back as he curls a finger inside of me, pressing right on that spongy sweet spot inside of me, making me pant with need. "Or else I'll make you cum so hard you'll cry," he says, nipping my nipple. "Begging me to take it easy as you cum over, and over again."
I feel my walls clench around his fingers as he slides another one inside of me. "Mmm, but it seems like you want that, don't you?" Fred taunts as his thumb finally lands on my clit.
I nod, moaning softly as he works his fingers with perfect precision in and out of me as his thumb rubs my clit. "Yes... God, yes," I whimper underneath him, my nails scratching down his sides and making him shiver. I undo his pants and reach into them, grasping his rock-hard cock. Fuck, he's so big. How is that supposed to fit?
Fred groans, tilting his head back as he thrusts into my hand. "Such a good girl for me," he praises. He leans down, kissing the sweet spot behind my ear again as he whispers into my ear. "I need to taste you. I might just die if I don't," he pleads.
I tilt my head, pressing my lips to his with a moan. "Yes, Freddie. I need it," I whimper against his lips.
"Mm, then get on my face, darling. Take your seat on your throne," he says with a groan as he pulls back, taking his devious fingers with him. He takes off his pants and boxers, kicking them off to the side as he lays on his back.
I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks. "What if you can't breathe?" I ask nervously as he pulls me onto his face to ride it reverse-cowgirl.
Fred slaps my ass, making me gasp as he grips my hips. "I swear to God, darling. If you don't sit on my fucking face, then I will die. Now sit on your goddamn throne and let me eat my pussy," he demands.
He doesn't leave me with any option as he pushes my thighs apart, forcing me to sit on his face. "F-Fuck!" I moan loudly as his tongue dives inside my entrance, thrusting in and out as he devours me whole. My eyes find his long, thick cock as the tip drips with pre-cum, making my mouth water. I lean forward, pushing my pussy into his face and making him groan.
I take his cock in my hand, pumping it a few times before I lick slow circles around his tip with my tongue. Fred moans, gripping my hips tighter as his tongue lands on my clit. I take his cock in my mouth, sucking as I take him deeper in my throat, my hand pumping his cock where my mouth can't reach.
Fred smacks my ass again, drawing another moan from me around his cock. "Fuck, yes," he moans against my clit, adding the perfect amount of vibration. His hips thrust up, forcing me to take more of him down my throat. Tears prick my eyes as I gag around his cock when it hits the back of my throat. "That's it, darling. Gag for me like a good little slut," he growls.
I feel myself get wetter from the mix of his filthy words and his praise. My legs begin to shake on either side of his head as my orgasm begins to crest. "F-Freddie, I'm gonna-"
"Cum for me, darling. Give it all to me," Fred demands from beneath my thighs as he begins to suck on my clit. My hands grip the sheets, digging in as the tether inside of me snaps, and I let out a loud moan, a string of curses, and his name as Fred rides me through my orgasm with his devilish tongue.
When my orgasm finally fades, I'm a shaking, whimpering mess as he lifts me, switching up our positions and laying me on my back again. "You're so beautiful when you come undone for me," he praises softly, kissing me and allowing me to taste myself on his lips. "Do it again," he says as he lines his cock up with my entrance.
I moan and whimper as he pushes his long and thick cock inside of me. I've never taken anyone of his size before, and it hurts at first. "Relax, darling," Fred says softly, holding still as I adjust to his size. "That's my girl," he says sweetly, kissing my neck. "Are you ready?" he asks, his expression caring.
"It's not all the way in?!" I ask in shock as my body begins to relax around him.
Fred chuckles and shakes his head. "Only half-way," he smirks, nipping my bottom lip between his teeth. "Though I appreciate the sentiment," he teases.
I let out a shaky breath and smirk. "You're insufferable," I tease.
Fred hums as he pushes himself inside of me further, settling into the hilt. "Just for you," he says lovingly. He leans back, looking down at where his cock starts to thrust in and out of me, gripping my thighs. "You take me so well. Fucking made for me," he groans.
I grip the pillow above my head. "God, Freddie, it's yours," I moan softly as the pain disappears and melts into Earth-shattering pleasure.
A low growl escapes Fred's throat as his speed picks up. "Damn right, it's mine," he moans. "All," he thrusts. "Fucking," another hard thrust. "Mine," he emphasizes with a hard thrust, making me mewl and writhe under him.
"Fred, God, yes!" I cry out as he leans down, his thrusts unrelenting. His hand wraps around my throat, not cutting off my air, but cutting off the blood flow to my head.
"Don't cry out for God, he's not the one fucking you," Fred moans darkly. "I'm your God now. Cry out for me," Fred demands.
I whimper, my hands draping around his neck. "Freddie," I moan as his thrusts quicken. "Freddie, yes. You're- You're my God," I whimper.
"And you're my parishioner," he answers. "My devout little lamb," he praises as he releases my throat, allowing the blood to flow back to my brain as he sits back on his ankles. His thumb rubs my clit fast as his thrusts get harder, pounding into me with unrelenting force.
My legs begin to shake again as my orgasm threatens to crash into me like a bludger. My moans become frantic as I pull my legs up to my chest, keeping them spread wide to allow Fred's cock to reach impossibly deeper. "Freddie, I need to cum," I whimper and plead.
"Then cum, little lamb. Give me everything you have, and I will fill you up," Fred moans as his cock twitches inside of me, and his thrusts begin to stagger.
My back arches as my nails tear at the fabric of the pillow above my head. My orgasm crashes into me, setting off stars in my vision as my release washes over me. "Fred!" I cry out in a strangled cry.
Fred moans my name loudly as he thrusts into me one final time, spilling his hot cum inside of me. He rides us both through our highs before he finally withdraws his cock. He leans over me, brushing my hair from my face and tucking it gently behind my ear. "You did so well, little lamb," he praises softly, kissing the edges of my mouth.
I hum with pleasure as a smile dances across my lips. "Just for you, Freddie," I respond softly, kissing his lips.
Fred cleans us both up, tending to me with care as he wipes me down, puts on my panties, and dresses me in one of his shirts before laying back down next to me and pulling me to his chest. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you," he says softly as I cuddle into his arms, my head resting on his shoulder.
I look up at him and smile. "Was it worth the wait?"
Fred smiles and kisses my forehead. "For you? I would wait a thousand years to make you mine."
I giggle softly and kiss him back. "So I take it we're officially together?" I tease playfully.
Fred laughs softly and nods, running his fingers through my hair. "Unless you have other plans," he teases back. "Though I doubt anyone can make you feel the way I just did," he taunts with a wink.
I roll my eyes and snort a laugh. "Someone thinks highly of himself," I quip with a smirk.
"Says the one who called me 'God,'" he quips back.
I smile and snuggle closer, draping a leg over his thighs and pulling myself closer. "Fair enough. But, Freddie?"
"Hmm?" He hums tiredly.
"If you flirt with another girl again, I'll end you both," I warn him.
Fred laughs and shakes his head. "Yes, ma'am."
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merrybloomwrites · 14 hours
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The Only Way of Knowing You (Chapter 1)
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Story Summary: After a chance encounter, Y/N finds herself on a series of dates with Harry Styles. She shares with him her innocence regarding physical intimacy, and he takes his responsibility in teaching her all about that very seriously.
Chapter Summary: Y/N is overjoyed to head to the hospital to meet her new nephew, and ends up meeting Harry Styles as well.
Word Count: 1.7K
CW: mentions of people giving birth
AN: So excited to finally post this series! I've really enjoyed writing this and hope you'll all like it. Thank you to the anon who requested shy virgin reader!
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You’re anxiously waiting to get a text or a call from your brother-in-law. You’d spoken to your sister yesterday morning and she mentioned that she felt like she was having contractions and would probably be in labor soon. So casually! You figured that since this is her second baby she must be feeling more relaxed about the whole situation.
But that doesn’t stop you from worrying about her for the whole day and a half between that call and when your phone finally rings again, Brian’s name appearing on the screen. He’d been sending regular updates to you and your parents and the last one sent almost two hours ago just said “it’s time”. 
So this call must mean your new nephew is finally born. You quickly grab the phone and answer the call. 
“Brian, hi!”
“He’s here!” He exclaims. “Born at 1:35, 7 pounds, 2 ounces, 21 and a half inches long.”
“How is he doing? How is Kyra?” 
“He���s perfect! Kyra did great, she’s resting at the moment. We'll send a picture soon. She asked that no one come this afternoon but we’d love for you to stop by tomorrow. Your parents are coming in the morning and bringing Wyatt to meet her little brother.”
“Ok great! I’ll talk to them and coordinate what time.”
“Awesome, you’re gonna love him! Listen I’ve got a couple more calls and I want to get back to them but I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Brian, give Kyra my love!”
“Will do, bye Y/N.”
You hang up and literally squeal with excitement and relief that he’s here and everyone is doing well. You let out another happy noise when you get a couple pictures from Brian. You’re immediately in love with this little boy, even if he looks like an alien/old man hybrid. You wish you knew his name, but your sister made it clear she is keeping it a secret until you and your parents meet him in person. 
At 8PM your mom calls and you figure they just got Wyatt to sleep. You talk for a bit and make plans to all meet at the hospital the following morning at 11. 
You’re so excited that it’s nearly impossible to fall asleep, but you manage. The next morning passes quickly, and suddenly it’s time to head to the hospital. 
Once there you find your parents and your niece signing in and you do so as well. Finally, the four of you make your way to the right room. Just like when you met Wyatt nearly three years prior, you immediately fall in love with this little baby the second he’s placed in your arms. 
“Everyone, meet Jasper Lucas,” your sister says. 
For half an hour you all get to spend time with Jasper as well as check in on Kyra, who truthfully looks fantastic for having just given birth the day before. You and your parents step out in order to give the family of four some time together. 
Your mom comments that she could use a coffee and your dad hastily agrees so they head off to the cafeteria. You figure they must not be used to taking care of a toddler and decide to go over and help out that evening. 
They ask if you want anything and you decline, choosing to instead go into one of the family waiting rooms and check on a project for work. 
The room is empty when you enter but after a minute you hear footsteps. Looking up from your phone, you’re shocked to see who just walked in.
Harry Styles casually sits in one of the other chairs. You subtly glance at him, noting his jeans and sweater combo, as well as the look of pure excitement on his face. After pointedly looking anywhere but at him for a moment you can't help but turn towards him again.
“Hi!” he says cheerfully when he notices you looking at him. 
“Hello,” you manage to squeak out. 
“I’m Harry,” he says, leaning towards you with his hand out.
“I’m Y/N,” you reply while politely shaking his hand, hoping you’re doing it right. Which is wild because you;ve shaken hands with people hundreds of times but like, this is Harry Styles. 
“My sisters just had a baby,” he adds, and now you understand why he’s practically vibrating with glee. 
“Congratulations! Mine has as well. Is this Gemma’s first?” You realize a second later how creepy you now sound, using his sister's name when he hadn’t even told it to you. 
Before you can apologize he laughs and says, “Yes, her first. So you know who I am then?”
“I mean, I don’t live under a rock so yes, I am aware that you’re Harry Styles.” 
“Can you do me a favor then, love?” 
You nod, willing to do anything he asks, especially if he continues to use such sweet terms of endearment like ‘love’.
“Gems kept this whole pregnancy private, and isn’t planning to announce she’s had a baby for a few weeks. I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut, but I just had to tell someone. Can you help keep this a secret and not let anyone know about the baby?”
“Oh of course, yea, secret’s safe with me.”
“I appreciate it. We may be adults now, but I think I’ll always fear the wrath of my big sister,” he says with another laugh. “Is this your sister's first as well?” he asks.
“No, I have a niece, Wyatt, she turns three next month,” you reply.
“And this little one, boy or girl?”
“Boy. His name is Jasper. My sister always said she wanted one girl and one boy so I guess she got her wish.” 
You refrain from asking him the same question, not wanting to look like you're asking for personal information about his family, but he apparently doesn’t feel that way because he says, “Gemma had a girl. The tiniest little thing. I think. At least she looks that way in the picture.”
“You haven’t been able to see them yet?”
“Not quite, they needed a few more minutes before they were ready. Our mum’s in there with her, has been the whole time, so I’ve been anxiously waiting on my own.
“I feel that. I was the same way the past couple of days.”
“Well at least we have each other now, I feel much less jittery being able to talk to you,” he says.
“Glad I could help. People say I’m an excellent conversationalist.”
“Oh I can see that already, I’m quite enjoying this conversation.”
Just then Harry’s mum, Anne, walks into the room.
“Harry dear, they’re ready for you,” she says, giving you a quick smile before she walks out again.
He jumps out of his seat and says, “Sorry to cut it short, but-”
“Not a problem! Go, meet your niece. Bet she’ll be very happy to meet her Uncle Harry,” you reply.
“Would you want to keep talking? Later?”
You look at him, confused. “I’m not sure how long I’m going to be at the hospital.”
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean here. I just meant, maybe we could meet again, some other time. At some other place. Preferably with better coffee.”
“Are you asking me to hang out with you at a coffee shop?” you inquire, wanting to make sure you fully understand what is happening.
“I am. Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve actually asked someone on a date, guess I’m a tad rusty.”
Your eyes go wide at the word ‘date’. You were already perplexed, wondering why he’d want to hang out with you as friends, but making it a date? 
Your mouth works faster than your brain, and before you can really think through your answer, you hear yourself saying, “I’d love to get coffee with you.”
“Fantastic! Here, write your number in my phone and I’ll text you to set something up,” he replies while unlocking and handing over his phone. You’re practically on autopilot typing in your info and handing the phone back to him.
“I should go, I’ve got a niece to meet. It really was lovely chatting with you.”
“I agree. Say congrats to your sister for me!”
“I will, please say the same to your sister.”
“Of course,” you reply.
“Goodbye Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon.
“Looking forward to it. Goodbye Harry.”
With one last shy smile, he walks out of the room, leaving you standing there feeling rather shell shocked. You don’t have long to dwell before your own mother pops back in saying Kyra is ready for you all to go back.
You spend another hour there before leaving to go out and get some lunch. While you’re at a local restaurant, trying to encourage Wyatt to eat her lunch rather than play with it, you get a text from Brian saying Kyra and the baby will be discharged later that afternoon.
After lunch you go to their house and entertain Wyatt while your parents make sure everything is clean and ready for them to come home. Brian, Kyra, and Jasper arrive just before dinner, so you stay to make sure everyone eats and is as content as possible. 
You leave after cleaning the dishes, knowing everyone is ready to settle down for the evening. Back home you hop in the shower, and when you get out, you have a text from an unknown number. It reads, “Hello, Y/N, it’s Harry.”
Your eyes go wide and you let out a nervous giggle. Honestly, there’s a part of you that thought you had hallucinated the interaction this afternoon, but here’s proof that it all really happened. Before you can type back you get another message from him saying, “If you’re not busy, how would you feel about getting coffee this Saturday? Say 1PM at Inkwell Cafe?”
“Sounds perfect,” you reply. Your phone dings again a second later and you read, “See you then! Have a great rest of your week.” After sending a quick “You as well!” you toss your phone to the side. 
You get into bed, and reflect for a moment on everything that happened since getting up that morning. You knew it’d be a wonderful day; how could it not when you got to finally meet your perfect nephew?
But to have met one of your favorite celebrities and now have a date with him? Never in a million years would you have guessed the day would end this way. You fall asleep feeling like the luckiest person in the world.
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AN: Thank you so much for reading! I hoped you liked this chapter and can't wait to share the rest!
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fell-contract · 1 day
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I've been using this platform to vent too much recently but unfortunately y'all gotta listen to one more.
Found out I had to work the weekend of a friend's wedding next month and needed to pull out. I told her we wouldn't be able to make it and somehow it devolved into accusations of ending a friendship. A past roommate of ours who we longer speak with who is in the wedding randomly reached out to my partner to guilt him, claiming he was letting me 'end a 10 year friendship' and it was 'so disappointing'. We haven't talked to this person in three years. I defended him and it resulted in this mutual friend (who had already blocked me after I said we couldn't make it) texting my partner saying I cheat on him and they have receipts and a confession (?). For context, I spent my mid 20's in a haze of prescription meds, alcohol and aforementioned roommate's uppers. Quite frankly there are entire nights I have zero memory of, and I've told my partner anything I'm unsure of that could've happened. I know for a fact I didn't have sex with anyone else because frankly I would've felt it the next day and I had intense fear of penetrative sex for most of my 20's. These friends also know my history with sexual violence that led to this fear. Any 'evidence' would be at least five years old because I stopped prescription medication abuse with the pandemic (not really by choice but the one blessing I take from that nightmare). Basically, I've found myself back in that headspace of shame but also betrayal: these friends never tried to help me, they encouraged the substance abuse and now they're trying to blackmail me with things I apparently did but have no recollection of. I exhausted myself in the shadow of shame for years, and I'm so thankful for the grace my partner has shown me and taught me to finally show myself. We're in a place now where we're open to others in our relationship anyway, but it's the principal of thinking I'd step out on him intentionally without his knowledge that has stuck with me. I feel taken advantage of, both by people I thought were my friends and by the person I was: I had this tendency to put myself in harm's way because I thought I deserved punishment of some kind, so even if I don't remember everything I did I do know it's a small miracle there haven't been greater consequences for my recklessness at that time.
I'm about to celebrate 10 months of sobriety next week. I feel like I've made a lot of progress. It's just hard to know that I'm still that troubled man in their minds who would carry a secret or actively hurt my partner, and they likely spent these years with resentment of which I was unaware. I suppose the takeaway is that sometimes we have to leave people behind, I just hate the idea that I'm so low in someone's estimations that they would think I'm incapable of growing. I apologize for the wall of text but sometimes I just need a sounding board.
💝 Jonathan
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meerkatp · 19 hours
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Now, let's talk about Drakepad. Can we talk about Drakepad, please? I've been dying to talk about Drakepad all year, OK! Sometimes I can't help but wonder if Drake and Launchpad were suppost to become a couple in the Ducktales reboot.
Like, you got that leaked concept art from the Darkwing spinoff (I guess it's okey to post this? It's long been dead if Disney even considered picking it up at all.) where Launchpad clearly has his hand on Drake's shoulder, but it looks like Drake's got his hand on LP's back. And I say Launchpad and not Gosalyn because if it was on/ around Gos we'd likely see his hand on her head or her shoulder which it very clearly is not.
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This pitch likely predates TDKR and if I were to guess when it was pitched it'd of likely been sometime in 2018? Possibly even earlier judging by Drake's design as it's still pretty early. (Plus LP's bio in the pitch bible having big (and literal) "let's pick out curtains" energy.)
And then you got this excerpt from the bonus book of the deluxe edition of the Ducktales artbook where it talks about those romantic secret side adventures Launchpad has that we never got to see, and then mentions him meeting Drake as one of these aforementioned side adventures.
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And then you got this Gay-ass moment from TDKR.
And the scene of them holding hands with Drake making goo-goo eyes that was intended by the storyboarder to be romantic.
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And LP returning the favor in the finale.
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The symbolism of the "go to them" scene, as well as how he puts his hand over his heart because of Drake.
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Side note: He did this in the original show too.
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Not to mention Launchpad's canonically Bi (though they never got to explore this in the show itself).
But even if they were, there's like no way Disney would of allowed it considering how pissed they were about Penumbra being a Lesbian (forcing them to censor it in a way that makes it seem like she's just racist (Speciesist? Planetist?)). And considering how Disney's been trying to reboot Darkwing Duck there problobly would of been the thought "Well if we make them Queer in this then we'd have no choice but to make them Queer in every adaption after that" and Disney has been notoriously anti-Queer when it comes to media (That we even got The Owl House feels like a miracle in and of itself.) and now with actual fucking anti-Queer terrorism on the rise in America especially, and Project 2025 on the horizon, the higher ups are cowards at best, that is if they don't agree with the terrorists themselves (okey I'm getting on a bit of a tangent here, sorry!)
IDK did I miss something? It's like almost 4AM and I can't sleep (if that wasn't obvious).
Anyways when I said that this is what it feels like to ship Drakepad I was not exaggerating or joking.
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chika chika
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swannieluv · 3 days
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ Wasted youth.
✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Platonic!Ajax x GN!Reader
✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 11k
✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: violence, blood, death.
✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐀/𝐍: IT'S FINALLY HERE! I hope everyone can enjoy this <3
✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩. 𝐛𝐲 Tempo Perdido - Legião Urbana
✦⸼࣪⸳ likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3
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Snezhnaya is not exactly a friendly nation. The cold that seems to run from the veins to the depths of people's innermost being brings with it a certain hostility towards those who don't know the heart of the land. But within Ajax's distorted childhood perception, Snezhnaya was like a gentle mother, protecting its children under icy embrace.
But then, why did such a loving land allow its own child to fall into the deepest depths of the Abyss? Like drowning in freezing water, a child who survived Teyvat's darkest and loneliest place would certainly not come out of it the same as he went in.
"Ajax" was still Ajax, wasn't he? The same child, named after a hero from ancient tales, full of compassion and empathy, now carried with him a gaze that was deader than the fish he caught on ice.
Joining the Fatui wasn't in his plans for the future; being one of them wasn't so bad, although he wasn't expecting much for the future. But what he didn't like was being the youngest in the unit, it was a complete humiliation.
Not that the seniors were a challenge for him, but being constantly underestimated was... infuriating, to say the least. While his strength was admirable — thanks to Skirk, he would thank her someday — Ajax felt constantly bored, with no meaningful challenge ahead of him.
"Redhead!" The call was accompanied by a snowball, which hit him square in the face; his moment of peace was interrupted, though it didn't really matter.
Ajax could only sigh before letting out a soundless laugh, knowing exactly who had hit him: [Name], a recruit not much older than him, maybe a year or so. Being under the same division, it wasn't unusual to bump into them. "Here it comes..."
They weren't exactly friends, more like acquaintances. However, they also kept in touch enough to be just "acquaintances". Never friends, perhaps not at all.
As if he had some kind of radar, [Name] always appeared whenever Ajax had his rare moment of philosophical thought of questionable quality. Usually to disrupt the whole process.
" Damn, looks like you really found me," he laughed, turning to look at them.
"That's the third time I've had to look for you this week," they complained, carefully preparing another snowball to throw at him. "I always get scolded because of you, you know that?"
They weren't exactly wrong. Whenever Ajax wandered off the map, it was [Name] who had to look for him in the frozen woods. Not that they really bothered to do it, but it was tiring going around in circles until they found him.
"Look at it as part of your job."
"Babysitting...?"
"No, looking after your companions."
"... How idiotic."
"How heroic. It's very noble to look after your friends, you know?" Ajax corrected. His eyes returned to scanning the surrounding trees in a relaxed manner.
"Not when said 'friends' get into trouble all the time," they retorted.
"I always come back, it's not like you need to hunt me down like I'm some criminal on the loose." He shook his head briskly, brushing the snow off the top of his hair. However, he was greeted with another sharp shot right to the scalp.
"Look... So, all due respect, but you're not far off being one, you know?" they shyly replied. Not in a rude way, but still a little offensive to whoever it was directed at.
He didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended by what they said. Maybe both? Well, they weren't exactly wrong... Ajax was already considered a marginal project, or at least it seemed that way.
"Why did you do that?"
"What? You have to specify or I won't know,” his smile fell, replaced by a neutral expression. He tried to feign ignorance, but it didn't work very well.
"Don't be cynical. You beat up an older soldier. Aren't you a little ashamed?”
Which soldier were they talking about? It didn't matter to him anyway, as he'd lost count of how many he'd challenged and won — it wasn't a difficult task, they were never a match for him.
All too often they were weak, and [Name] was the worst of them all. That's why Ajax didn't even bother trying when inviting them to a duel, because the result was obvious from the start. The last time they sparred, it was be boring, easy and not worth the effort.
"Should I be? If a soldier almost two meters tall can't beat up a 14—year—old, then that means he's a weakling, doesn't it?" Ajax crossed his arms. "Besides, he called me names before, so we're even."
"Seriously..." they sighed, "Seriously, try not to make such a fuss. The Fifth can get you out of most trouble, only until you do something, let's say, really catastrophic."
"Something catastrophic like...?" he asked curiously, his gaze fixed on them.
"Like... burning down the Zapolyarny palace?"
His jaw dropped in shock, and a touch of offense showed on his cold—pink face. That was the most absurd thing he had heard in recent times. "What?! Why do you think I would do something like that?"
"Because it's you we're talking about, redhead."
"What's with the nickname?"
"I think it's funny, don't you?"
"You know... whatever." Ajax put his hands on his waist, shaking his head slightly. "I'll take that as an excuse to put a nickname on you too."
"So you're going to stop with the ' comrade' thing and come up with something even worse? Really?"
"Maybe so... maybe not. Who knows?"
The boy gave a relaxed smile, patting them on the shoulder before moving on. His heavy footsteps in the snow served as a background noise to the uneasy silence around them.
"I found it."
"Hm? Found what?" Ajax raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
[Name] pulled out a red scarf, so familiar to Ajax, from inside their backpack, carefully tying it around his neck. The fabric was warm, or perhaps it was the feeling of zeal, or also the nostalgia it brought.
Ajax hadn't realized he had left it behind. And when he realized it, the difference between the cold air and the protection of the scarf was remarkable — was he so distracted that he didn't notice?
The boy's gloved hands touched the soft fabric of the scarf, bringing it closer to his face and snuggling into the warmth. "Where did you find it, comrade?"
" Somewhere, it doesn't matter." They put their hands in the pockets, looking around at the landscape around them. "Aren't you afraid of getting lost in the forest?"
Ajax let out a genuine laugh when he heard their question, as if it were something ridiculous. "Getting lost? I know my way around pretty well."
[Name] narrowed their eyes, firmly disbelieving Ajax's words. For them, the scenery remained the same, no matter how far they went — well, they didn't go very far at all.
"What? It's all the same, like... just trees and snow everywhere."
Ajax held back a laugh, as if what they'd said was completely dumb. "You're not from Snezhnaya, right?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Were you trying to hide it at all?" He couldn't help but laugh at the redness that appeared on [Name]'s face.
They were almost the scarlet color of their vision, which they proudly carried on a chain attached to their jacket. Pyro and Hydro, it was yet another thing that made them so opposite from each other.
"You know what, never mind! Just follow me." They extended a hand towards him, an almost forced offer.
Ajax hesitated, staring at the hand in front of him for a few long seconds before accepting it. He held it with some hesitation, not wanting to apply more force than he should have. He didn't mean to hurt, but he also had moments when he couldn't control his own strength.
They walked together through the snow, their steps in perfect sync. He noticed these small details as he looked down at the ground, thinking over and over again about an endless cycle. Sometimes, he just let that little silence take over his head, alone without direction, lost in the image of his own breath coming in the form of fog.
[Name] mumbled something, Ajax nodded, but forgot all about it soon after. They knew he wasn't paying attention, but didn't care, increasing the strength with which they held his hand.
"You don't like it here? Is that why you keep running away?"
"It's not running away if you come back.”
[Name] genuinely felt like punching Ajax in the face every time he opened his mouth and let out some stupid reason like this, but they would obviously leave it to imagination. The willingness wasn't lacking, but the courage was.
Perhaps if they were stronger, braver, they could say what they really wanted. But they weren't, and that kept them behind a fine line between the two, where Ajax always seemed to be in the front.
Everything in Snezhnaya, absolutely everything, filled them with an internal revolt. The cold that seemed to freeze them inside, the infinitely same path that seemed to lead nowhere, not being taken seriously — but for now, they would do anything to please those on top, especially since they were the ones in control of everything anyway.
"Don't ignore my question, go on. I know you heard me."
As soon as they arrived at the camp, they were greeted by an angry soldier with a large purple eye. That was the man Ajax had hit, and clearly he didn't look happy.
"Look, the bastard's really back," he said sarcastically, snapping his fingers. "Are you going to come at me for no reason like a savage again, like you did earlier?"
"Liar," they retorted, shaking their heads in denial and pointing a finger at the soldier, "you previously morally attacked Ajax, an exemplary boy..."
Ajax nodded, crossing his arms. Exemplary was by far what he was, but he had to agree with those who defended him. What he didn't expect was that they would retract their words soon after.
"...sort of."
"A... gentle boy?" They gave him a sideways glance, as if for confirmation; all he got back was a slight shake of the head.
"sort of..."
There was a lack of good adjectives to describe what he was — what he had become.
It would be less work if they just called him strong, but they didn't. They didn't want to reduce him to something. They didn't seem to want to reduce him to something the soldier in front of them already knew. Or rather, they didn't want to reduce Ajax to a simple strong boy.
They cleared their throats with a smile, grabbing Ajax by the collar, "Give us a second!"
Honestly, he was expecting a beating, not a strategy meeting behind a bush — not that he was going to complain, but at least he was hoping for a fight or something. His clenched fists contained the real desire to punch that soldier right in the face, but unfortunately he couldn't do that.
"'Sort of', really?" Ajax mimicked with a playful tone.
They rolled their eyes, fidgeting. "One of two ways: either I lie by calling you dumb, or I lie by calling you stupid!"
His jaw dropped for a moment. Was Ajax that stupid in their eyes? Not that he was the most self—controlled or straightforward person, but that dumb was an insult. "Oh, but I'm not dumb!"
"Perfect! Then you're stupid!"
The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Just as they didn't understand him, Ajax didn't understand them one bit.
"Seriously, I'm trying to help you... but then you have to help me help you."
"I think you've got it wrong. I appreciate the attempt, not to be rude... but I don't think I asked you to help me in the first place." He tried to smooth it over somehow, with that annoying little smile of his.
They felt their eyes ticking just hearing him, but soon pulled themselves together and returned the smile with a sarcastic tone intertwined with the words, "Really?”
"Mhm!" Ajax smiled. "Then I'm going for it, you said!"
Ajax ran off, abandoning them behind the bush to do whatever he wanted. Training, fighting, getting into another fight... it was all very unpredictable when it came to someone as peculiar as Ajax.
[Name] stood there, letting out a sigh as he thought about how weird this boy was. But there was no denying that Ajax was truly exceptional at getting out of trouble, and that made them more and more curious about him.
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Sometimes, before going to sleep, Ajax would close his eyes and think about the day he'd had. He would ponder how small details were so easily erased — he couldn't remember who accompanied him on the march, or the name of the guy he had hit. But it was okay, it was fine not to remember.
The important thing was to keep going, without wasting time, and to move on. Ajax didn't need anything else, or anyone else, just himself to become very strong.
"Here you go, redhead." He was called by [Name], who threw a pillow right in his face.
" Man, you really like throwing things at me, don't you?" complained, pulling the pillow away from his face, "Have I become a punching bag now?"
"You forgot your pillow. If you wake up with a stiff neck, you'll be complaining in my ear all day tomorrow."
"I don't complain—"
"You think you don't, but you nag like an old man!"
Ajax threw himself backwards, lying on the mattress hugging the pillow close to his face. He muttered irritably to himself something almost inaudible, something that [Name] could only wish weren't curses in their direction.
"Look, I don't know what kind of problem you have," Ajax began, rolling his eyes in frustration, but soon changed his tone to something more playful, "if you want to settle something with me, come fight. Unless you're too much of a chicken not to fight someone younger and stronger than you."
"Whatever" [name] grumbled as they adjusted the flame of the lamp with their vision, "I already know I have zero percent chance against someone like... you."
"Why, comrade? It's not like I'm going to kill anyone in sight or anything like that." He smiled, giving a slight chuckle.
"Yes, of course, and I'm a slime" [name] sarcastically answered.
"Honestly, I don't mean to offend you or anything..." Ajax sat up, running a light hand through his hair to remove it from his face. "But I really wonder how someone so coward got into Fatui. I mean, you're afraid to even hold your own bow."
[Name] listened attentively to his words, but kept their gaze fixed on the lamp in her hands. It was the only source of warmth between them at the moment, and they couldn't let it go out so soon.
"The reason I'm in Fatui..." Their eyes did not leave the flame in hand, carefully observing the orange color that reflected on everything around him. [Name] avoided this question whenever it was asked, because they knew they weren't strong, and didn't force themselves to be, but the truth was too shameful.
"I believe I am indebted to Her Royal Highness the Tsaritsa. I must render my services for her generosity, and also... for this little thing here, which has guaranteed me everything I have now."
They picked it up and swung it around, the vibrant red gemstone seeming to emanate heat in a veritable mirage. Even though the temperature was almost below zero, it still retained its tiny hints of flame.
"Well, I guess that's it. I was born like anyone else, subject to mistakes and defects. But I don't think I'm worthless, after all..." they paused for a single second, letting out a sigh before continuing, "even doormats have their uses."
Ajax's face softened as he listened to them. He was speechless, sincerely mute without an answer to their words. No silly comment came to mind, just nothing. He waited a while in silence before finally asking: "Wow, that was something..."
"I think we've talked enough about me, what about you?" They asked with a little smile, and Ajax relaxed a little.
"About me? Hm... I think I have several stories! Like today when I punched that guy!" he cheered, throwing a fake punch in the air to represent his fight.
[Name] let out a simple laugh, amused by his actions. They thought the boy was a piece of work, silly but very funny; also very intriguing in every respect. At fourteen, joining the Fatui and doing well was something out of this world from everyone else's perspective.
"No, silly! I don't care about that sort of thing." They shook their heads in denial.
Ajax blinked twice, confusion clear on his face. "What...? So what do you want to know, anyway?"
They patted his head lightly, making Ajax turn as red as a tomato. It was unexpected, and he didn't know how to react to it, he wasn't prepared, but it wasn't that bad either. For the first time in a long time, Ajax allowed himself to receive a bit of care.
"Tell me, redhead," they called him by that silly nickname again, getting a funny look from him, "do you miss home at all?"
"Homesick? Hm... I don't know, I don't think so."
"Lying to yourself is always the worst kind of lie, so don't do this."
"If I really miss home..."
Home. Did Ajax really miss home? It was very hard for them to guess what was going through his head when all he did was fight and cause trouble. Although he had his ridiculous faults, there was still a gentle child inside, deep down.
Ajax was about to answer when it finally hit. It was the kind of question that nobody really asked in the Fatui. Everyone usually acted in accordance with their situation, there was no room in the Camp for whining.
The only tears were those that were left on the pillow, turned upside down as soon as the first rays of sun appeared in the morning. Hidden, sealed away from the gaze of others, while everything continued in the shadows.
He remembered perfectly the day he left home, beginning his career as a soldier.
Ajax checked his appearance one last time in the mirror. He didn't mind the state he was in, with a few scars on his hands and small scratches on his face from the mess that had occurred before he was enlisted — but he couldn't look relaxed either, Ajax needed to look presentable for some reason.
He could hear some whispering, not so quiet, of children behind him. He could see their reflections, curious as ever, but pretended not to have noticed, not wanting to end their failed attempt at spying.
When the clock finally struck a certain time, he knew it was time to go. Ajax had been preparing since the day before, when he received the news. It hadn't been easy to accept, but Ajax had no voice after everything he had done.
It was easy to feel the blood on his hands, even though he had washed them over and over again. While his combat skills were fascinating, it was frightening to see how easy it was to seriously hurt someone.
But at the same time, he felt the adrenaline of fighting pulsing through his veins, bringing with it an insatiable desire for battle. He didn't have a strong enemy, he didn't have anyone who could challenge his skills in this little corner of the world he lived in. Being the strongest shouldn't be so boring, at least not for him.
When he stepped out of his room, the first thing he saw were his little siblings. Their faces were full of questions, asking for an answer as to where he was going, why he was leaving and other questions that Ajax wasn't allowed to answer, nor was he in the mood to answer them.
This was what he really dreaded, the farewell.
He hugged each sibling as if it was the last time seeing them, his eyes filled with anguish disguised as emotion and tears that weren't exactly shed. He felt a knot down his throat — how hard it was to try and keep a smile, with such a conflicted feeling in his chest.
Perhaps that was the hardest part, because the younger ones had no idea where their older brother would end up. They didn't know that he was going where no other child should go. The only excuse he could come up with was something about a fantastic toy factory, and they bought it.
He swallowed it all, keeping his typical charisma in a comforting smile. Blindly lying to himself that all that was to come was just a distraction where he could meet stronger people, bigger obstacles and climb them without hesitation.
He ran down the stairs as if it was the last time, and it would be, because long gone was the boy who once smiled here. Hearing the children's voices saying casual goodbyes, as if it were just another ordinary day and that he would be back soon. Touching the banister, sliding along and feeling the texture of the wood, brought a little sadness. It was full of scratches and loose splinters, just the way he would remember it.
Taking a deep breath, he let the smell of wax invade his lungs for one last time. Little did he know, but this would become another moment for nostalgia in just a few days.
He hesitated to leave that warm place, so precious and cozy that it was the only thing capable of bringing a tear to his eyes after leaving the abyss. Not all things in life work out the way we want them to, and he needed to learn that, if only in the harshest way possible.
"Discipline" was what it was supposed to be, a form of punishment for all the trouble he had made. Like a staircase, Ajax climbed step by step in his acts of violence until he reached the irreversible point of his insatiable hunger for battle
But life always takes its toll. And for Ajax, life decided to give, demand and take away almost instantly.
Saying goodbye to his mother, who wrapped a red wool scarf around his neck, Ajax could only keep smiling. If it hadn't been for the hesitation and worry in her eyes, distressed that her young son would end up in a place like the Fatui, everything would have been so much easier.
"My little warrior," she called him, a cheesy nickname that suited the wild boy perfectly. While it was ironic in the past, given that Ajax was a big scaredy—cat, today it was just dumb, "Don't cause too much trouble... please."
The last sentence came in the form of a very faint whisper, which went almost unnoticed by Ajax. A real plea, almost desperate because of the lack of credibility he had at that moment. She didn't believe in him, evident in the exacerbated concern she showed in her mannerisms.
And if to comfort her, then Ajax was willing to put on his best and most convincing cheerful mask. He had always been a boy who loved his family, and that was something that not even the claws of the Abyss could take away from him.
"Yes, Mom."
Ajax did his best not to sound the least bit false when lying to his mother — He was, he couldn't deny that — But at least Ajax did it convincingly until he could gently slip away from her gentle touch.
"I'll take care of myself. Brush my teeth, comb my hair..."
"And eat well," she added, brushing the dirt off his clothes, making him more presentable.
"...And eat well, leave it to me!"
The woman sighed, letting go of the boy. With her watery eyes turned to the side, she shook her head as if to pretend that everything was fine — an attempt to make it clear that everything was all right, that Ajax shouldn't worry. But in the end, it was to comfort herself.
"Go..." she murmured with a sad smile, shaking her face slightly to let the tears go where they shouldn't, "go with your father before you're late, and don't stir up trouble, see? Your poor mother's heart wouldn't be able to handle it."
"I'll do my best, stay super strong and—"
He was interrupted by a small smack on the head from his father; it wasn't painful, not in the slightest... but it hurt for some reason, somewhere deep inside. All he did was look up, shrug and smile as usual.
"Let's go." That was the call Ajax had been waiting for to.
This was a moment of farewell, but he remembered that it wasn't eternal. Someday, he would return home with his chest puffed out and a huge, proud smile on his face — well, that's what he hoped for.
And so, the troublemaker set foot outside his home to become what no one, not even he, expected him to be one day. Looking back at his past, his younger self, fearful and innocent, disappointed but admiring, came to mind.
An icy breeze was the first thing that greeted Ajax when he opened the door and encountered the standard whiteness of the outside scenery. It was sudden, as if to extract any remnants of warmth he felt. People would say it was a good omen coming from the Tsaritsa, a sign of good fortune on his new path.
And it's what Ajax would like to believe.
"Ajax?"
Their voice woke him from his memories, bringing him back to reality. And then suddenly, he was back in that tiny tent, the one he had never left.
"Sorry. I spaced out, didn't I?" He covered his eyes with his forearm, tiredness was starting to set in.
"Just a little bit." [Name] decided to lie down too, covering themselves with their own blanket. Their hands then went to the lamp, offering it to him, "Can you use your vision to put it out?"
"Can't we just... not put out the fire?" Ajax asked weakly.
[Name] blinked twice in surprise, then cracked a smile to tease him. "What's the matter, are you afraid—"
"No, I'm not afraid of the dark..." he cut them off in mid—sentence, turning around so that he wasn't facing them. With his face covered by the pillow, Ajax lowered his voice. "But leave the fire burning, just for now... please."
It was the first time [Name] had seen him so vulnerable, with his guard down. With such a sincere request, they were at a loss for words — even though they really wanted to understand.
"Right..." They hesitated slightly as they released the lamp. "Sweet dreams, Ajax."
Without replying, they sighed. [Name] then put their head on the pillow, looking at him with a certain empathy. But then again, it was none of their business; he would tell them when he felt comfortable.
That night would be a long one, with the two of them lying awake without exchanging a single word.
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Sometimes [Name] questioned their own common sense, especially when they followed Ajax's foolish ideas. Normally, the two of them would get into trouble and be forced to do the daily tasks because of it.
But after days of insistence on his part, they had finally agreed to go ice fishing in the middle of the night because it was the only free time the both had. Did they know how to fish? No, and certainly not on ice, but there's a first time for everything.
"Hm... I don't see anyone," Ajax whispered as he looked through a gap in the tent, making sure no one was awake at this hour.
"Hang on, I can't put these on!" [Name] tried to put their boots on, but couldn't make a decent knot. They were already frustrated, tying them any way and untying them when they realized it didn't lead anywhere.
Ajax let out a chuckle, their desperation to put on simple boots was utterly comical, "Let me help you."
"I can do it myself!" [Name] stared at the tangled shoelace with a certain determination, trying to undo what they had tied.
"You said that last week, yet you couldn't do it and we lost the training—"
[Name]'s face heated up in embarrassment. What he said was true, the two of them had missed it, all because they didn't know how to put on the boots offered with the new uniform, and had to clean the weapons as punishment — not that Ajax cared, it seemed he had only focused on admiring the swords and guns rather than cleaning them.
"Shh! That's in the past!" they tried to shut him up.
Ajax shook his head slightly. He knelt down and stared at the blind knot they had tied, taking his hands to the shoelaces to straighten out the mess. "I'll teach you, check it out."
He carefully tied their shoes, making a firm loop. It was just like at home, when he helped his younger siblings put on their boots to play outside. When recalling this, an unconscious smile appeared on Ajax's lips, followed by a giggle.
"Are you laughing at me?" [name] asked, offended.
"No—" Ajax looked up, and then laughed, seeing the funny look they were making. "Yes, I am now!"
[Name] grabbed him by the cheek, hurrying him out of the tent with them. "Stop laughing, they'll wake up and it'll be our doom!"
"All right, all right!" Ajax exclaimed, removing their hand from his sore cheek. "You talk just like my mother when she scolds me..."
[Name] looked at him, smiling before teasing him. "No way, I mean, I pity your mother for having to put up with a son like you."
Ajax's frowned, he really did look offended by what they had said. "I have no idea what you're talking about, I've always been a very well—behaved child!"
"Oh, sure... if you say so, who am I to doubt it?" they agreed sarcastically. There wasn't a shred of confidence in his word.
There were endless minutes of walking and exchanging small insults. Under the moonlight, the two made their way calmly, getting further and further away from the camp. If they were lucky, no one would find out that they had run away.
They would be fishing in a frozen lake, a large mirror that reflected the light of an aurora. It was a breathtaking sight, as if they could touch the sky, and they took a cautious first step onto the it.
"Damn!" They slipped, having only the instinct to hold on to something.
"Whoa! Watch it there, comrade!" Ajax helped them regain their balance, holding them up by the arms. He took slow steps backwards so that [Name] wouldn't slip again.
[Name] smiled a little awkwardly, embarrassed. "Thanks but... This ice won't break with us on it, right?"
Ajax shook his head and firmly tapped his foot on the frozen surface, which remained intact. "It's pretty sturdy, see?"
"I see." [Name] turned their attention upwards and admired the greenish glow again. " Snezhnaya's night sky is a fascinating sight, isn't it? Even though I've seen it several times, I'm always amazed by its beauty..."
Ajax had already seen the real starry sky, the true and uncovered light of the celestial bodies. To refer to this gloomy canvas as a "fascinating sight" is an absurd statement, for it is only an empty imitation of what lies beneath the veil of the Abyss.
"You're really satisfied with anything, huh?" Ajax scoffed, with a hint of a smile on his face, "It's just floating lights, it gets boring after a while."
"Is there anything that doesn't get boring for you?" [Name] watched as Ajax started to cut the ice in a circular pattern, which appeared to be a not too difficult job for him. "Are you sure this works? I mean, it's just ice... I don't know if there's anything alive down there."
Ajax sat, eyes fixed on the hole in front of them. He hugged his knees and remained there, staring at the immensity and waiting for what would happen next. "Don't worry, we'll catch one in... a few minutes, I think."
"In about how many minutes, exactly?"
Ajax looked up thoughtfully. "A few."
"I swear to the archons, if you made us come here for nothing..." [Name] grumbled, watching the boy next to them. The way he insisted on his ideas impressed them, at the same time as it irritates; but seeing that serene face made them let out a little laugh, "Never mind, I'm the idiot one for following you."
[Name] sat down next to him, resting their face in one hand as Ajax and them waited patiently. Those moments of serenity were the complete opposite from the battles that took place everyday.
They had already seen several "comrades" fall, their lives taken while protecting the Fatui's interests. Interests that were unknown and hidden from the vast majority, concealed by individuals whose faces were unknown to many.
The Harbingers themselves were a kind of urban legends who, while everyone knew of their existence, were enigmatic and symbolic figures within the organization.
"What exactly are we fighting for?" [name] asked. There wasn't exactly a reason, because no one ever said the real purpose of the blood shed on the snowy battlefield.
Everyone's admiration and fear of the Harbingers was obvious. But just as they were feared, the kind of people whose presence is everywhere, there were more questions than answers as to their real motivation.
The closest they had seen was the Fifth, Pulcinella. [Name] didn't understand why they had been placed in his division, being a complete fool who couldn't hold a weapon without getting nervous. Even more so when, in the same division, there was Ajax.
A confused expression appeared on Ajax's face when he heard the question. Wasn't the answer obvious? At least, it was logical. "For Her Royal Highness, the Tsaritsa—"
"No, I know that. I'm talking about why we need to fight, the purpose of it all... We have a mission in a few days, and we don't even know what they want from us."
"I fight because I'm strong, isn't that enough?" Ajax seemed genuine in his response, with no hidden ambitions behind the battles he fought against his opponents. At the end of the day, it seemed to be all about the will to get stronger and better.
"No, it's not." [Name]'s gaze was serious, demanding an answer that would satisfy their curiosity. For them, Ajax was an extremely difficult puzzle to solve — a young boy who possessed the strength of a monster. But at the same time, had a heart as pure as gold. "Your name... was inspired by a hero, right? Do you want to be like them, the hero of the story?"
Ajax nodded, giving them a smirk. He remembered the old days, when he wasn't the least bit brave or powerful, just a fearful boy with a sword and a dream. "I think I'd rather be myself. It's much more fun when you do things your own way, don't you agree?"
"Well... it is, it really is." [Name]'s firm gaze softened. "Ajax, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
The boy froze in place. His mouth opened to speak, but the words he wanted to say didn't come out. He had no answer, even if he thought about it — Ajax simply didn't know.
"When I grow up..." he repeated to himself, looking for an answer, any answer. "I honestly don't know... I think I'll end up having to stay in Fatui."
"Idiot..." [name] grumbled, "I'm not saying you can't do what you want, but let's be honest with ourselves for a moment. Who would willingly stay in this hellhole?"
"Me," Ajax answered immediately, without a hint of hesitation in his speech, "If I go back home, I'll only make more trouble. Just the fact that I'm here makes life easier for everyone, and I can improve my skills."
"Of course you'd say that." They shook their heads, completely disapproving of his choice. They got up from where they sat, offering him a glance. "I envy you, you know that?"
"Hm? You..." Ajax looked up and pointed at them, then at himself. "...envy someone like me?"
"How can I not? You're strong, hopeful, stubborn and very proud," [name] listed, raising a finger for each adjective they found to describe him. "How can I not envy someone like you? You're like..."
"Everything I've always dreamed of being like."
They both uttered the same sentence at the same time, their voices becoming a unison sound that gave way to an awkward silence between them. Their eyes seemed to pierce each other, staring into the depths of the souls in search of some understanding.
"Trust me, I know what it's like," Ajax sighed, "to want to be braver, but at the same time to be too afraid of doing so."
Ajax turned his gaze back to the freezing water. Its darkness brought back vague memories of the abyss. The simple act of fishing was enough to push Ajax's mind back to the past, when he listened to his father's stories — maybe, just maybe, he really wanted to be as great as the heroes in them.
Ajax had once been a poor, fearful boy, terrified of the world outside, but with a spirit hungry for adventure. He had only a shortsword and a bag of bread — anyone could say that it was at that moment, before his fall into the confines of Teyvat, that Ajax began his transformation into what he's now.
"It's not a story I tell anyone, but I used to be a real coward," he admitted, letting out a sigh. "If one day you get stronger... like I did, would you duel with me?"
"Of course..." they smiled, making an x with their arms. "Not!"
Ajax's expression fell, replaced by that of an abandoned puppy. "But why?"
[Name] laughed at his face, crossing their arms. "Don't you remember when we first met?"
For them, the events that led to their current situation were clear as day. From before their enlistment, to the first day in the division.
They were born into a humble family, without any kind of comfort or privilege. [Name] grew up hearing all the stories about the archons and their extraordinary feats, about how lucky those who gained visions were. However, they never understood why their family admired such deities when all they received was misery.
Their parents, in a desperate act, borrowed a large amount of money, which they couldn't pay back. Disaster would be the appropriate word to describe what happened when the deadline for repaying these debts passed. As they were unable to pay, the two were killed by the debt collectors.
But [Name] always had somewhat of a way with their words, and that was the weapon they used to survive in a world like this. Somehow, they managed to negotiate their lives, in exchange for serving in the Fatui army instead of paying off an endless quantity of mora.
And shortly afterwards, [Name] were taken to the Cryo nation, landing in the middle of a terrible blizzard. If it hadn't been for the pyro vision they carried in their hands, [Name] wouldn't be alive to tell the tale, having become an ice statue.
And it was in an old and spacious office where [Name] took their first step towards their new reality. Quite nervously, their hands firmly held a document with all the information about their new career, leaving crumpled marks on its edges. [Name] had never thought they'd be offered to properly work, especially when the job was with none other than Fatui.
They were facing a short, stoic Fatui agent with a big nose and glasses. He seemed like a friendly fellow, but [Name] knew better than to trust someone who worked for those who had killed their family.
"What's your name, child?" asked the man in front of them, as he typed on a typewriter.
They had never seen anything like this, a machine that wrote for people? Unthinkable, it seemed magical, even. [Name] was so glued to it that, for a second, they forgot to answer.
"It's... [Name], that's all. I don't have a last name..."
The agent stopped his notes, giving [Name] a skeptical look. It was enough to make them nervous, unconsciously taking a small step backwards, lowering their head.
"Answer me..." The man went back to typing. "You're not from around here, are you?"
"No, sir. I'm from far away..." they sighed, murmuring, "very, very far...."
"Are you sure you'd like to join Fatui? You're still too young, don't you think it's a big responsibility?"
The agent gave them a gentle smile, different from the look he had given them before. It was as if he was truly giving [Name] a choice — but the truth was, if they didn't accept it, they would probably end up in the same shallow grave as their parents.
"Forgive me, sir, but it's not a question of wanting, it's a question of needing," they replied calmly, "someone has to pay these debts, right? Mora doesn't grow on trees."
[Name] wondered if they had said something wrong, since their tone hadn't exactly been friendly, mentally scolding themselves. But to their surprise, instead of getting scolded, [Name] heard a faint but present chuckle coming from the other person.
"You should thank Her Majesty the Tsaritsa for your kindness," he said, handing them the piece of paper he had been typing on, "how many people do you think have had an opportunity like this, to have their debts absolved and a job guaranteed?"
"Absolved?"
"Exactly, absolved. All we need from you, child, is your loyalty. I can see the potential, but it all depends solely on you." He pointed at their vision, hanging from their waist with a faint shine. "Surely, you're lucky enough to possess one of these."
For anyone else, receiving a vision is a blessing. However, being in possession of one is like having an eternal debt to the world. To be chosen is to be special, and to be special enough to receive a vision is to be distinct from the rest.
Sometimes it became a curse. One can no longer live like a normal person, because there will always be something that sets them apart from the rest. All those who are given one struggle in some way — Has there ever been a vision holder who truly lived an entire life peacefully, without any conflict whatsoever? At least in Snezhnaya, it seemed not.
"I... I accept..." Their eyes filled with hope, looking at their own name perfectly typed on the document. There was the real identity of the gentleman in front of them, revealed in a fancy signature, the Fifth of the Fatui Harbingers, Pulcinella.
[Name] signed their names in the blank space, sealing their fate within the organization. From that moment on, they would be part of the Fatui, just one more in the crowd — But if that was what it took to ensure their survival, [Name] would do it without hesitation.
The real issue, however, was on the first day of duty, and it had a name: Ajax.
[Name] had just put on their uniform, which was a little big for their size. But then again, there were none designed for a fifteen-year-old to wear, so they'd have to be content with what they had on hand.
At least the jacket they were given was comfortable, warm enough to block out some of the bitter cold that surrounded them each second. [Name] even looked like a proper person in it, which made them let out a little laugh.
However, it wasn't until they were standing in line in a meaningful formation that [Name] noticed a boy of a similar age to them. Red curls that stood out against the white backdrop, with a red scarf that was too long for his neck — perhaps they weren't completely alone in that place.
[Name] waited patiently until the time came for them to start training, watching him with eagle eyes, following Ajax wherever he went. When they finally mustered up the courage, they approached him and extended a hand towards him.
"Hello, I'm [Name],"
"Hey!" The boy grinned and shook their hands firmly. "I'm Ajax!"
"Well... looks like we're the same age, huh? How about we train together?" they suggested, thinking it was the best option.
"Sure!" Ajax nodded, putting the sword he was holding aside. "That would be, like... an invitation to battle, right?"
Technically, it was, so they just followed the his reasoning and confirmed it. "Mhm!"
"Then get ready!" he announced, preparing to throw a full punch.
[Name] didn't react immediately, surprised at the speed of the boy who had already set up his punch. "W-WAIT—"
Thud.
Complete darkness was how the first and last friendly match between the two ended, with Ajax knocking them out with a single punch. That's how [Name] would learn that fighting Ajax was a trap. However, [Name] wouldn't lie that at least it had been the best sleep they'd had in months — and the worst black eye they'd ever gotten, too.
"Teyvat to [Name]?" They awoke from their thoughts to see Ajax's hand moving in front of their face. He then tapped them on the forehead. "Is anyone there?"
"Oh, sorry, I got distracted. I was just remembering the punch you gave me." They laughed. "Speaking of which, you also punched that guy the other day too... what's with punching people, redhead?"
"I've already apologized!" His face heated up with embarrassment. "And punching is way more practical. You'd be shocked if you knew how strong a punch from me can really be, when I throw one for real!"
"Hm, sure, no doubt about it—"
"I got one!" Ajax exclaimed, trying to pull the line back on the rod with great difficulty. "A little help would be nice, you know!"
[Name] hurried, wrapping their arms around him and pulling back to bring the fish to the surface. But the animal wouldn't cooperate, even with the effort they made take it out of the water.
Ajax took a step back. "That was fast!"
"Fast? We've been waiting for almost an hour—" They slipped on the ice, pulling him and the fish along with them. In the end, Ajax and [Name] both fell flat, like two idiots.
[Name] looked at him, who was holding the fish in his hands while the animal struggled in them. It was a funny sight, which was enough to get a genuine laugh out of them.
"Haha..." they laughed weakly, then raised their tone, "Hahaha!"
Ajax, hearing the sound of their giggles, bursted into laughter. He laughed so hard that small tears formed in his eyes, "Hahaha... What are we laughing at?"
[Name] pointed at him, "At you, you fool!"
"Oh, really?!" Ajax stood up, bringing the fish in his hands near them. "Let's see who gets the last laugh!"
[Name] got up and ran across the ice, running away from him. They slipped and balanced, with an infectious smile on their faces accompanied by the sweet sound of their laughter, while Ajax chased after them with the animal.
It was moments like this that reminded them that they weren't adults, but two true children at heart.
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At least once a week, Ajax and [Name] were sent on missions. They weren't often in charge of the more complicated ones, as they were still too young. However, for the first time, the two of them were allowed to take part in a more risky operation.
The two were supposed to stay with the older ones, but [Name] found themselves alone, having gotten separated from the rest by accident. In the middle of such a large forest, they could only hope that a blizzard wouldn't strike right away.
[Name] analyzed their surroundings, trying to retrace the steps that led them to nowhere and return to where the division had planned to reunite. However, they seemed to go round in circles, never reaching their destination.
That's when they noticed a coat lying in the snow. It was brown, very different from the Fatui soldiers' uniform, with a shabby finishing and a gross smell of blood.
Pow.
That's what they heard, a loud, familiar sound that sent shivers down their spines. Looking up, they saw a bullet hole in the tree, well above their heads — by perhaps two centimeters, they would no longer be alive.
"...!" [Name] instinctively looked for the source of the sound, quickly finding it.
Their desperate eyes met another's, which held no pity. Yet another soldier, wounded, carrying a gun and a tremendous amount of hatred — not everyone liked the Fatui, and not everyone had sympathy just because they were a child.
Frightened, [Name] ran desperately, followed by fierce gunfire that almost hit them. [Name] hid behind a tree and drew out their bow, but couldn't hold it properly no matter how much they tried, since it always slipped from their hands.
The enemy was indeed wounded, but armed and apparently experienced. The look in his face had been enough to send shivers down their spine, because when compared to them, who couldn't even use their vision properly, it was like facing a real monster.
"It'll be all right..." they whispered to themselves. "I just need to—"
[Name] heard more gunshots, too close to where they were. Something told them to run, but also to stay, accept the invitation and have a proper fight. If it was to survive, then [Name] would fight, they needed to.
[Name] couldn't hide forever, it wouldn't be right.
"Come on, you bastard!" [name] shouted, their voice echoing through the woods, as they aimed their bows in the direction of the enemy.
They used their vision and set the arrow ablaze, burning their own fingertips in the process. They didn't know how to control the force with which the arrow burned, but they knew it would hurt anyone who was struck.
[Name] clumsily launched the first arrow, dodging a shower of bullets headed their way. They hoped it was enough, that they had been able to send it flying at his face. But instead, the projectile pierced through his shoulder.
"Damn!" the soldier shouted, trying to reload his weapon while wincing in pain, but his ammunition had run out.
He came up and pistol—whipped them, causing [Name] to cry out in pain for a few seconds. The impact was so intense that they dropped their weapon and fell into the snow.
[Name] then felt the real despair of being weak. They could hear their hearts pounding in their ears and their eyes watering from the pain of the blows they received to the head, while blood trickled down their faces.
They grabbed his foot, applying pyro to their hands to make his boot burn along with it. When he fell, it was then that they saw their chance to stay alive handed to them on a platter.
They reached for the bow that lay on the ground next to them, firmly holding it anyway. Nothing mattered, only survival and that was all — they only needed to survive, to live long enough to prove that they were capable.
It didn't take much for one person to kill another, just despair. That feeling of helplessness and genuine dread, which would move mountains if necessary, was all it took to pull the trigger.
They violently hit the enemy in the face with their own bow, as if it were a bat. It was only when the return attacks stopped that they realized what they had done. The body below had an expression of terror, eyes wide as blood dripped onto the white snow, staining its purity with a crimson shade.
"I—I didn't... I did this...?" They stared at their bloodied hands, feeling their heart beating wildly against their chest. That's when, suddenly, an incessant urge to cough overtook them, but only blood came from their mouth.
[Name] looked down and realized that they had been shot in the chest. The bullet had gone through what seemed to be their lung, they didn't know, the adrenaline was hiding the pain for as long as it took. However, the spot hit was clearly a lethal wound.
They took two clumsy steps backwards, shaking their heads in denial. [Name] was too afraid to do anything like that, taking a life itself was too cruel an act for them, but it was done.
However, they didn't want to die as murderers, not really. So, with determination, [Name] decided they wouldn't die there.
They turned around and ran that time like there was no tomorrow, using every drop of adrenaline they still had in their bodies. [Name] couldn't see the sun shining, only the same gray clouds that covered the sky, which seemed to mock the fact that there was no light at the end.
Their only way out was to get to the camp, where there should be healers waiting for the wounded. However, it was difficult for [Name] to distinguish the landscape around them, especially in such a nervous state.
[Name] tripped over their own foot, losing their balance and rolling painfully down the mountain. They watched life pass before their eyes, each moment painful with the intention of just surviving, not living. Then they closed their eyes tightly, already bracing themselves for a more abrupt impact and accepting certain death.
They hit a tree, before rolling one last time to the bottom of the hill. Fortunately, or not, it was low enough for them not to die on impact — they did wish it had been stronger, ending it all quickly.
[Name] felt like a bird, floating in the sky with their eyes closed. They thought they had died because of the serenity felt for a few seconds, only to be crushed by the cruel reality. Their fall had been gently cushioned by the snow, but even with all this effort, they couldn't see the camp — which meant it had all been in vain.
Finally, the pain returned to their body as if it had never left. Breathing was difficult, with each breath being painful in the extreme, as if their organs were punishing them for still being alive.
"N—No," they sobbed through words, hot tears contrasting with the coldness that cruelly coursed through their veins. "I—I hate it... I wanted to die in peace, not like this... Not like this..."
Their trembling hands squeezed the wound in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. [Name] didn't know how much time they had left, they didn't want to know either, all left to do was pray to Tsaritsa and beg for a little mercy, for a quick death if possible.
[Name] still hadn't paid their debt to Her Majesty, for the life they had been offered. For the bread to eat every day, for the tent they had over their heads, for letting them breathe, for letting them remain in existence, they had to do their utmost to repay all the favors with whatever they could.
For the gratuitously heavy insults that they had to swallow in silence because they were weak; for the mountains and snowstorms that brought them down along the way; for the disgraceful defective vision of theirs — or rather, they were the defective ones.
"P—Please..." [Name] begged the nothing, while holding their vision close to their chest, "if miracles really do exist…”
How many things had [Name] thrown away, when what they wanted most was to prove to everyone that, even if they were weak, they didn't need to prove anything to anyone? [Name] didn't know, only the bitterness of a wasted time remained in their hearts.
They let their tears fall over the flaming orb, whose glow no longer seemed the same. With one last kiss to the gem, a silent thank you, they began to weep for a life they were about to lose.
There would be no one to mourn their death, to lament the defeat of someone who had never once won. They probably wouldn't even have a funeral, but would just be buried somewhere like an animal. How terrible would it be to be completely forgotten, with no soul to remember their existence?
And Ajax, their only friend... finally acknowledged this fact. Would the boy be desolate? Grieve? Or would he carry on as he always seemed to do?
They regretted not having told him things in life that only they could say. They could only hope for the best, that he wouldn't take the news that badly — but at the same time, there was a small, selfish desire for him to feel their death. Not because [Name] wanted him to suffer, but because that way they would know that they mattered to someone.
[Name] recalled the memories they had made with him, like when they first met, when they went ice fishing a few days ago. The image of how they ran and laughed with him that night, as if they weren't the next ones to die, was fresh.
At last, their body felt light, receiving a moment of tranquillity reserved for the end of endings, when [Name] felt nothing but the slow rhythm of their heartbeats, fighting for a lost cause, as if they didn't have two holes in their chests.
"I was truly... useless until the end, wasn't I...?" [Name] murmured what they knew would be their last words, a vent to themselves and to the world. With the last beat of their hearts and the cessation of their breathing, snowflakes touched the now freezing skin. "I hope I have served you well... Your Majesty..."
They died in silence, without disturbing anyone.
Meanwhile, with the mission over, Ajax found himself extremely bored. Contemplating the pure white snow stained with blood as he returned to camp had already become a habit of his.
He could not care less that his face had a few small scratches on it. Though, he had to admit, that any kind of mission made him tired. But before he could rest, he found a place to rest. So Ajax began to look for them throughout the camp, without any success in his search.
'They must be receiving medical care...' He thought, as he made his way towards the tent where the doctors were staying.
It was a small space that was often crowded with the number of people wounded during missions. Finding any specific person was difficult, even more so when he was being pestered to be treated right away because he was younger.
"Are you sure you don't want to go first?" one of the doctors asked, placing a hand on his bruised face.
"No, I'm fine!" Ajax smiled. "I'm just looking for..."
For some reason, his eyes fixed on a particular corner of the tent. Away from the rest, it was where they put the bodies of those who had perished in combat; but Ajax had never taken much notice of it, so why now?
He approached slowly, in silence. Ajax felt an uncharacteristic nervousness come over him, running through his veins. The chills he felt seemed to swallow him up from the inside out, it had been a long time since Ajax had felt like this, as if something was screaming "don't go there, stay here" and attempting to keep him from discovering the truth, as he approached a particular cloth.
He stopped in front of the covered figure, noticing something sticking out of the cloth. An object, a... vision. But the only ones in the entire division who possessed one were him and... [Name].
Terror was too little to describe what overtook Ajax, who hesitated to lift the cloth covering the individual's face. He wished he wouldn't hear his head and believe that they weren't the dead man in front of him.
With trembling hands, which he tried to stop, Ajax lifted the fabric slightly. And that's when the ground really seemed to crumble beneath him — they were dead, [Name] was truly dead.
Their skin was so pale and cold that it scared him a bit. But what particularly caught Ajax's eye was the sheer amount of blood they had lost, as their face and hair were completely stained a deep crimson red; and no one had bothered to close their eyes, devoid of life and its particular glow. Now, they were just a pit of darkness that matched his own.
"..." Ajax just stared, unable to say anything. Everything was trapped inside, without him being able to express it.
Ajax tried to tell himself that he didn't care, that they weren't really friends, just work colleagues. But the sadness in his heart betrayed the stoicism he tried so hard to maintain.
Ajax closed their eyes gently and kissed [Name]'s forehead gently before covering their face with the cloth again. It was an action that any mother would take on seeing her child dead, but they didn't have one to weep over their death — and if there wasn't one, then Ajax would play his part in showing respect for them.
Ajax may even have changed when he fell into the abyss, becoming a maniac for fighting and confusion. But at the end of the day, he was human just like everyone else.
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Two days later, the tent they shared was cold, without the heat of the lamp to warm Ajax up, as it had already gone out with the icy wind coming through the gap in the entrance.
It was [Name] who kept them warm in the middle of the night, using their vision to keep the fire burning. And that was just a bitter reminder that they were no longer there.
The others had taken away everything that was theirs, accommodating what would be the belongings of a new tentmate, who would be arriving in a few days. It was as if they had ceased to exist altogether.
Ajax wouldn't mind being hit in the face with a pillow if they were the ones to hit him, with that smile, with that irritating tone of voice of theirs that Ajax recognized from afar. He wouldn't mind being called "redhead" again, if it was them calling him that.
"Ajax?" The voice that called him from outside was familiar to Ajax. It was the Fifth.
Ajax promptly got to his feet, walking outside the tent and greeting him politely, a treatment he reserved only for The Rooster. "I'm here, sir."
"I heard that one of your companions fell in battle... a shame," the Harbinger said, as he searched for something in his pocket. "Well, here it is..."
The man handed him a gray envelope, a letter. In the corner was written in almost illegible handwriting the names of the sender and recipient, respectively: [Name] and Ajax.
"Thank you, sir," he nodded, holding the envelope tightly in his hands.
"You were both very similar ages, you and..." the Rooster paused, having forgotten their name.
"[Name]." It was the first time Ajax had said their names, having called them "comrade" all the time since they'd met. Honestly, it hurt a little, how difficult it was to utter a simple phoneme.
A few minutes later, Ajax said goodbye to the Harbinger and entered the darkness of the tent again. He left out a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever was written inside that envelope.
Ajax could no longer remember what The Rooster had talked about, only that the exchange of words had been short, like all the others before. He didn't even have the mind to think about it now, he could apologize later if he forgot some important information.
But right now, the only thing that mattered to Ajax was [Name]'s letter. He opened the envelope, trying to be careful not to tear it, but in the end he did. Ajax strained his eyes to read what was written there, in a handwriting as bad as theirs.
Dear Ajax,
Should I start a letter with "dear"? I don't know, honestly, I have never written one. Well, if this letter found you, then that means I must be dead by now. I'm sure you're glad I did, as you'll now have the whole tent to yourself.
I've written this because I know that, in life, I might not be able to say what I think. I believe we're already friends, don't you too? That's how I feel about you, I think you're my only friend, and I've been very happy about that. Thank you, thank you very much, for the joyful and humorous moments you've provided me with in this little end of the world that is Snezhnaya.
I asked you the other day if you felt homesick; you may deny it, but I can understand how you feel, away from everyone you love in a place like this. Know that whatever may happen, I believe that the same people you miss feel the same way you do.
Don't listen to that little voice in your head that whispers "you're nothing but trouble", it's stupid. When I look at you, I don't see a troubled boy, but a boy with the heart of another. That day we were late for training, you could just as well have walked away and let me be punished for being late, but you didn't. We cleaned all the weapons by ourselves. We polished all the weapons alone, for hours, and you never complained. Why was that?
I don't know, but I'd like it to stay that way, so keep going! I'll be cheering you on from wherever I am, because you're the best warrior I've ever had the honor of meeting.
I end this letter with my admiration and gratitude to you; and never forget: we have our own time!
With much care,
[Name].
A single tear fell onto the paper, right below their name, accompanied by others that would soon form a hot waterfall in his eyes. Ajax didn't know how to respond to this, covering his face with the paper, as if he was embarrassed to end up being seen like this
Perhaps it was for the better, a reminder that life really wasn't fair, and that Ajax had strayed from the path he was on. He didn't want to care so much, but at the same time he did.
Ajax wanted someone to comfort him, to tell and reassure him that it was all right, that this sort of thing did happen, but at the same time, it didn't. It was hard, very hard, to face it. It was difficult, very difficult, to face the loneliness that he tried so hard to hide behind brute strength.
Anyone who saw him like that would doubt that he was the same person who ravaged the battlefield with his bloodlust, the boy who seemed like an uncontrollable monster with an indomitable spirit, causing trouble wherever he went.
But for one last time, in the darkness of that tent, he allowed himself to be... Vulnerable.
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buffyfan145 · 2 days
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Episode 2.7 of "Rings of Power" was great!!! 😀 This is the most it's ever felt like the movies to me with the battles and those scenes were so well done. So much happened in this episode too and at least 2 leaks actually did happen, one of which I wasn't mad about like I thought I would be. LOL Rest of my thoughts under the cut for spoilers but can't believe the season is almost over next week and then the 2 year wait for season 3 begins.
I feel so bad for Celebrimbor. We all know his death is coming and just seeing him realize what's really happening and that Annatar is Sauron was heartbreaking and knowing he won't survive this. His scene with Galadriel made me emotional too and next week is going to be tough to watch. But I did love that Celebrimbor also told Sauron that he's lying to himself about so many things too, as Sauron is justifying everything he's doing. And as a Haladriel shipper you can see too that Sauron's also lying to himself about his feelings for Galadriel, which will likely come into play next week when he reunites with her.
But I did laugh though at that moment Celebrimbor and Galadriel heard Sauron screaming in the tower as that foreshadowed him being in the tower in the LOTR movies. LOL
That brings me to the first leak confirmed and that it was that about half the cast is getting killed off. That came out before the season started and made sense in a way but still really sad to see it happen. We've lost Bronwyn, Walridge, Valandil, Mirdania, Rian, that other elf in Elrond's party, Damrod, a bunch of other elves and orcs, and we know at least Celebrimbor will next week with possibly Adar too (which the orcs turning against him seems to set this up too). I didn't include Arondir yet as I feel he might not actually be dead yet and might be saved since we saw Nenya and know that Galadriel gets it back. And I doubt Tom Bombadil will be back either, so that's a lot of the cast that we probably won't see in s3 besides the ones getting killed off.
Then to leak 2 was the Elrond and Galadriel kiss was real. However, it didn't bother me as much as I thought as seeing it on screen you see it was non-romantic and to just pass her that pin and trick Adar and the orcs. Like a lot of other fans have pointed out to those upset this pretending to kiss things happens a lot in the mystery/crime genres and one fan pointed out it happened in the Bond movies which I totally forgot about. LOL It's nothing to worry about and I get people saying it's weird since Elrond will marry Galadriel's daughter, and Galadriel is already in a love triangle with Sauron and Celeborn, but really it was just to help her. Morfydd even said in the bts vid that played after the episode that it was just to give her a way to escape and that's all it was. If anything I've actually seen more of the purists upset about it than the Haladriel shippers, which when the leak first came out it was the opposite, so seeing it on screen vs reading about it shows the difference.
But back to Elrond I loved his scenes in the battles and with Durin IV. He's getting closer to his books/movies version and Robert did great in those scenes. Also loved Gil Galad showed up to help, and hopefully the dwarves will too once they stop the balrog that Sauron helped unleash.
So overall I was really happy with this episode and it setting up the finale. The trailer for next week was great too and I can't wait to see what happen with Haladriel with their fight and afterwards, especially since Galadriel has the 9 rings and gets Nenya back and we know Sauron will somehow get the 9 and him choosing the 9 will be a s3 storyline. I still think something major happens between them, as we all saw their head director Charlotte saying we'll see that Sauron really loves her by the end, and I'm leaning towards he saves/heals her from a wound and she either lets him go with the rings or she goes with him. Then them including Isildur and Estrid kissing in the trailer too I didn't expect. LOL Also, The Stranger meeting The Dark Wizard and knowing we're finally going to get The Stranger's name and I'm still certain he's Gandalf. And there's more Numenor too, so lots more to come in the finale.
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brotherwtf · 3 days
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this one's for the OGs but do y'all remember my Notebook au? bringing that one back from the grave with a little drabble
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It felt like no time had passed since John had last seen Gale.
After that summer, that faithful summer, John had seen Gale once. When he had seen him in Milwaukee with his beautiful wife on his arm, John thought that that was the end of Gale Cleven.
But now here he was, looking and acting like no time had passed since he had ripped John's heart from his chest.
John had insisted that he take him on the water, Lake Michigan looked so pretty this time of year, and while Gale was hesitant he still acquiesced. He had his arms crossed, looking with a slightly sour expression across the serene lake waters. John could tell he was biting something back, he just didn't know what.
It was then that it started to pour, great bucket fulls of water being dumped onto them and the boat. Even when Gale helped John bring the boat in, he looked like he was chewing on some words.
He's tying up the boat with Gale halfway down the dock when he finally turns around towards John.
"You know you could have at least written me. Let me know you were okay after all of these years. I didn't want this to happen," Gale says, shoulders tensing with anger.
John pauses in tying the boat, looks up at Gale with a bewildered expression. What could he mean?
"It wasn't over for me. I still loved you, John," Gale says and he's saying it like he's confessing to a murder.
John stands on the other side of the dock, watching Gale pant from moving the boat, watching the rain soak him through.
"I waited for you, for seven years, and now it's too late, John. I've got Marge, a lovely house. All because you didn't write me,"
John inches closer until he's a foot from Gale. He can see the way his eyelashes clump together, how blue his eyes looked in the rain, and by God John felt like a teenager again.
"Write to you? I did write to you, Gale. Every goddamn day for a whole goddamn year." John whispers, barely audible over the sound of the rain.
Gale pauses, mouth opening and shutting instantly, trying to come up with something to say.
"You... you wrote to me?" Gale balks.
John nods, lips pressed in a thin line. He can see the effects of the war of Gale's face, he's lost some of his youth, but he's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
"It wasn't over, it still isn't over," John pleads and runs to close the distance between them, hoisting Gale by his thighs into his arms.
He doesn't care about the weather or if anyone sees, all he cares about is that Gale is here with him. He has a hand pressed on John's face and curled into his hair, holding him in place so he can slip his tongue into his mouth, breathing heavily against him.
John kisses Gale until their faces are slick with rain and spit, groans and breathy sounds getting louder as they hold each other. It feels euphoric, being pressed so close to Gale after all of these years, after everything that he had been through without him. If he had known Gale would be waiting for him on the other side, he would have killed every kraut in his path to be back with him.
But Gales here now, and that makes everything seem like it was worth something. AndJohn would do it all again if it meant to have Gales lips back on his.
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spritesitrus · 9 months
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The Goons
closeups/bonus stuff I added under the cut
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also glassesless behavior >:]
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myreia · 1 month
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✦ D I S C I P L E O F T H E H A N D
Alchemy for potions. Blacksmithing for repairs. Leatherworking and weaving for mending. She is not an artisan, but the basic skills she has picked up over the years have served her well. Self-sufficiency has always been at the forefront of her mind, and she is pleased that she can keep herself afloat when needed. Besides, crafting is relaxing. A hobby or two here and there is good for her mind. —level 90 compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#doh#give me more glam plates so all of my doh don't have to be on the same plate SE you cowards!!!#so funny story: i didn't want to craft at all#and then i came back from a 6 month break and started doing a bit of doh on my alt#and i really liked it#so i stopped playing my alt and went back to aur and now she has full doh/dol LOL#the quests are so cute i really enjoyed how different they are from the combat ones#and i love the doh/dol tribal quests (the ones i've done haven't done all of them yet)#they're a nice change of pace#i just find it funny that i went from basically combat only - kill kill kill - to “give me a second i need to make this thing rq”#retirement arc in full swing#but nah it makes sense for aur to be self-sufficient#she's not an expert at anything doh-related but she knows enough to keep her stuff maintained#she has a whole cooking arc that rearranges her relationship with food and family after feeling for years like food is for fuel only#and she makes her own earrings#one of the reasons she has as many piercings in her ears#(not possible in screenshots since i don't have the skill or the knowledge to add them to her ear mod just pretend they're there!)#and a piercing in her navel is because she did them herself as a way to regain bodily autonomy after defecting from garlemald#she fixes her friends and her partner's gear too when needed#also please perceive nutkin chilling in the background i love that little munchkin so much you have no idea
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yardsards · 1 year
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also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.
not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like
the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that
#eliot posts#taz#taz ethersea#the adventure zone#amber gris#drugs cw#death mention#i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god.#i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it#but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it#and it's like.#my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends'#but i've known ppl who talked like her.#specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young#for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot#he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand#he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids#he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time.#it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway#so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual.#i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast#but they did it well i think#even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?
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running-in-the-dark · 2 months
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my niece is staying with us for the whole weekend for the first time. until now it's always been one night only, not two.
it's the second night now and I have already decided this is not happening again anytime soon. I'm so fucking exhausted. it'd be less exhausting if it was my nephew, I think - he's older and also doesn't need as much help (even when he was her age).
I love my niece but she just asks so many questions. like when we're watching a show or a movie, even if it's one she has seen before (even multiple times), she doesn't understand what's going on and constantly asks me to explain everything. I don't mind it, really, but it does take a lot of energy. plus tonight it took over two hours for her to fall asleep because she was scared by the noises of the house and the nearby road. I get it, but damn I'm so fucking tired, I just want to sleep 😭
#my nephew will get to stay for two nights soon so that it's fair and everything#but then I think we'll go back to one night only for a while#I just can't sleep when someone else is here. and I do not handle being tired well. or rather being even more tired than usual#so yeah no this is too much#I'm so glad I don't have children. I literally would not survive#we played board games with her today. her idea. she chose the gsme#but it was so fucking difficult.....#I think most kids would have understood this game at like. 10 maybe. probably before that really#she's 12 and a half and just did not get it at all#she's got difficulties learning and she's finally getting (more) help for that in school now but I'm really.. a bit shocked that it took#this long for her parents to accept that#she's a great kid but it's been obvious since she started school that she needs more help#so anyway yeah it's 3am and I think she finally fell asleep after I put Charmed on for her#I've got a massive headache and I'm so fucking tired I feel like I'm losing my mind lol#couldn't sleep last night & I hope it's better tonight. but having someone else here is stressful.#ugh I wish this wasn't so hard for me. I want to be the fun aunt (I'm their only aunt.. aunt-like person... whatever) but I know I get more#and more impatient when they're here. I hate that. but I can't change it. I've tried! for 10 years! but it didn't work#don't get me wrong - I'm never mean or angry with them. I just get somewhat annoyed and I know it's noticeable and I hate that#they don't seem to mind. they love visiting us. but I don't like it because I hated the way adults treated me when I was a kid so I want to#be better#:(#anyway I have to sleep now or tomorrow will be hell :)#personal
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jichanxo · 5 months
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sunday six :D
taking the initiative for a change.... so i'm going to boop @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @skysquid22 @overdevelopedglasses
chipping away at sensei fic this week! here's kitakata and yagami making out lol excuse my bluntness... don't feel obligated to read if you're not into that o7
Yagami reached for Kitakata’s arm, found his hand, and guided it to his hip. Yagami pulled away from the kiss.
“Touch me, would you?”
Kitakata’s breath was warm on his lips. “Where would you like it?”
“Figure it out yourself.” He said and kissed him again. Kitakata didn’t seem to complain. His fingers slipped under the hem of Yagami’s shirt, meeting skin. He touched along the base of his spine, and Yagami couldn’t suppress the slight shiver that went through him. He could only imagine how gratifying this was for Kitakata. Hell, just seeing Yagami checking him out probably made his whole week, now this. He’d never be able to stop him from flirting now.
Yagami leaned into Kitakata’s hold, into his mouth, against that eager tongue. He was about to make Kitakata’s whole damn year.
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flamestar126 · 9 months
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my 2023 art summary!
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katyspersonal · 7 months
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I know we don't talk and there's stuff we may not agree with. But I am truly sorry you've dealt with a lot of drama over fictional crap. And I'm sorry if my posts in the past ever contributed to that. Hope you have a better day.
Hey... That's all fine, don't worry! After all, it takes a lot of time and Insight to realise that Gehrman is a very gentle and respectful man and Godrick is an absolute gigachad kdkdkshdffhhgfds /lh /lh
But yeah, on a serious note. It was quite frustrating to find out the real motivation under all that... mess was something so pathetic, but at the same time this is what happens when people make engagement with media and fandoms a moral, political act. Not necessarily a problem, after all, I was the one who concluded that the way a fan judges fictional characters and other fans will very well reveal how cruel they are to real people who do something bad, or how much they will forgive based on personal sympathies. And my mad ravings about caring about female characters! I think the problem comes when a fan is so insecure that they have nothing else besides this defence of ideals through fandomry. If your only way to assert yourself is to be a good guy punishing the bad guys, and that mad raving loredigger discovers there is NO bad guy, what is left of you?
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This is why it is crucial to have passion for nurturing rather than for undermining! I think if you speak like this, you've found this truth too? This is true that I don't know you very much (mutual-in-law thing), but to be honest.. you didn't poison my fandom experience at all? I tend to never be aware about discourse until someone basically calls me for help fhdhgsdgdfs Can't scout the fandom tag regularly!
But not only it actually was a quite long ago I saw a "negative" post from you, but also I've seen through the posts that my friends liked or reblogged from you that you've actually became very eager person to defend people's passion and interests! I think the post that particularly got stuck with me was when you resented seeing someone's light die after some Redditor asshole "well aktualy"'d a thing they were excited about creating (not exact wording but maybe you remember too)? Like... you are fine, man. At that point I realised that you were a good fan and in the end valued people's creativity and passion over personal preferences. That you never wanted to be THAT guy, even if your interpretation could not be further from someone else's. Coming to terms with what actually matters in fandomry is very mature and I am happy to see this attitude!
I am still glad that you messaged me about this though; I did not expect this, but thank you! I think I will continue getting involved in fictional discourse because my autistic senses cannot ignore factually incorrect takes with a clear insidious motive, and.. eh, sooner or later, I'll piss off the wrong guy again. Don't feel bad for me when it inevitably happens :p I've accepted the shortcomings when I decided to be the debate guy. Simply laughing at some gremlin starting a discourse with the girls in DMs and not stressing over it is only funny until I realise that newer fans could get misinformed right off the bat.
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