#i've been working on my time management tho

[bleach-your-panties]

If y'all see my writing slowing down more than it already has sksksjdhd; blame my nursing classes.

I must pass 🥹

[nipuni]

Ten and Missy! Our Halloween costumes 🥰

[vulpixelates]

i am being so brave about my storm anxiety, i deserve a cookie

[beaversatemygrandma]

Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...

I'm tired.

Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???

[squarebracketsmileyface]

A Pearl by Mitski is kinda post Jaylex into Jam territory if you think about it.

Hello? Mind reader?? You are so correct???

This is even better mind reading because of what I was writing like right before I remembered i had this ask and wanted to answer it and shit. Like???? This is very much post Jaylex and into Jam, BUT it is also post Jaylex the first time they "broke up" oh my god.

Hang on, I'll explain it with the lyrics lol

Lyric analysis time because for some reason this is like my favourite thing to do when I wanna think about sorry its locked but can't actually write it for whatever reason.

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about

SO ABOUT THAT POST JAYLEX'S FIRST 'BREAK UP' ehehhehehehehehheheh. Right, so, after Alex started dating Amy in college, Jay did (eventually) start trying to, like, date and have sex with other people. He never really managed to date anyone, it was always just not-quite-actually-casual casual sex. And they always ended up getting tired of Jay, because they were trying their best and he was hung up on Alex still (and would be for the next rest-of-his-life) And Jay never actually talked to them about why he was the way he way, just learned to warn them ahead of time to try and scare them away so that he wouldn't end up getting hurt when they inevitably got too upset with him over something and broke it off with him.

And, obviously. Yeah, Jam. Jay's so worried that the same thing that happened with Alex and all the other people is gonna happen with Tim, and if it did it'd probably break him even worse than Alex did, honestly. Purely because the stuff with Tim would stack on top of the stuff with Alex and they'd become one thing and Jay would just not know how to deal with that literally at all.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Pre first Jaylex break up. Yeah. One of the reasons Jay got broken up with by at least one person was that they were meant to behaving casual sex, and Jay went through a period of time where he just, really really couldn't. Which like, fair, and fair i guess for the person being like, yeah i'll go find someone else to have sex with. but also they did it in a nasty way so never mind, fuck them lmao. (I just love putting Jay through shit lmao, I'm so sorry to that poor guy, I need to write a lil fluffy oneshot of him and Tim just being okay)

It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

Ow. Just. Ow.

Cos, yeah, Jay did. He really, really did fall in love with a war didn't he? That whole relationship with Alex was just this constant series of battles with himself and his feelings for Alex, and battles with Alex himself because of how he treated Jay and how Jay wanted to be treated. And his brain can't fully comprehend that Tim's not going to just be the exact same as everyone else, the exact same as Alex. And the thing is that Tim IS going to be different, but they're not going to have enough time for Jay's head to actually wrap itself around that so that he can believe it.

And obviously, they never could get enough time, because of all the shit with the operator, but Tim at least is holding out hope that they'll both survive is and they'll get the time afterwards.

Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch

Jay's so scared that having issues with intimacy is gonna fuck up his chances with Tim, but it wont. Logically he knows it wont (and I refuse to make them angsty enough that Jay wouldn't bother to say no if he didn't wanna do something) but there is still this little part of his head that says that if he goes too long not wanting to have sex, it'll somehow fuck something up.

There's a hole that you fill You fill, you fill

Also I fully intend for Jay to be very unhealthy about Tim :] Just like he was very unhealthy about Alex (especially back in college)

Poor guy's gonna fucking idolize Tim once he realizes Tim really really actually likes him. Which, y'know. Not good. Thankfully Jay's lil eventual obsession or whatever it is (idk, a hyperfixation on a person? that's what I called it. Basically, pretty much every waking thought Jay has is somehow about Tim/reminds him of Tim, if Tim is even slightly in a bad mood Jay assumes it's because of him and gets viciously terrified that Tim's going to leave him and hate him forever, he'd accept any kind of 'penance' or punishment from Tim for whatever he did wrong, if anything bad happens to Tim Jay get's violently enraged and wants to 'fix it' the quickest way possible, etc. He basically feels like Tim is perfect and he can't live without him. idk if that makes sense? I'm tired and never figured out what the fuck this thingy is, but i'm giving it to Jay)

Tim is Jay's missing piece, and Jay's going to hack at his own edges to make sure that Tim fits him, just like he did back in college to try and make Alex fit him.

He's just made up of pieces of himself and other people that he sawed off and cobbled together to make sure that the person he was in love with would perfectly 'complete' and 'fix' him.

But it's just that I fell in love with a war And nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go Just to watch it glow

goddamnit now i wanna plan a fic to dive into Tim and Jay's relationship after sorry its locked and before Jay dies, just so I can make Jay not okay and Tim not okay, but their brand of not okay works well enough for the short amount of time they have together. If Jay lived they'd have the worlds messiest break up oh my god lmao.

why do i torture them like this?

[sysig]

I decided to give a go to @niennanir’s lovely print-your-own-fic recipe on my Inside and Out as a test run and I’m quite pleased with the results as a first pass :D

I wish I’d taken a few more process pictures but there was a slight lull as I had to go shopping for 12x12 cardstock lol, but! I do have a couple closeups/extras that I added for funsies :D

I went with freehanding the title and I think in the future I would opt to not do that lol, at least not without a printed template. That said, both LibreOffice and SAI refuse to recognize my SCII fonts >:0 If you notice on the first page, I used the Ace Attorney font in italic haha, it’s an okay alternative even if it’s not what I actually want |0 I am happy with the gold detailing tho :3c

I did have an unconscionable amount of fun freehanding the ship caption tho ahh <3 <3 Immediate happy stims upon completion, their names together look so pretty ♥ Credit to Zarla’s original minicomic on that one :3

I also managed to get the last sentence of the fic isolated on the last page thanks to the formatting haha ♪

I was also able to add a bookmark! Ma happened to have a couple very thin ribbons to choose from and red ended up complementing the green very prettily!

It reminds me of VUX tongues hehehehe ❤️💕💖💞

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

[olessan]

I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill

[diningpageantry]

haaaaiiii guyyyyssss (gn) probably gonna be on here more often again soon. life events occurring. have occurred? still occurring, i suppose.

i'll probably post abt it more in depth at some ltr point, still in the very early stages of some stuff. i dont want to classify them as positive or negative things, however they're certainly things.

there's a lot of thoughts in my brain (hah), and ultimately i want to share them, but for now this is kind of me waving at everyone with a smile while my life has an "under construction" sign

[fantastic-artemis]

How to find a job that doesn't make me despair to live

[itsjaywalkers]

ten lines, ten people

rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

thank you @ad-astra-per-aspera7 @messrsage and @serethereal for tagging me <3

okay so i don't have 10 wips, and almost all of them are in the outlining phase anyway because i'm only writing one of them atm (the brainrot is strong) so i'm going to steal kat's idea and just share a few little snippets at the end of this from my current wip <3

1.it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this (one-shot)

"He's allowed to kiss whoever he wants, really," Lily mumbled for the upteenth time that evening, a terrible line of wrinkles between her eyebrows and lips pressed tightly.

2.all the violence that i swore you could have back (one-shot)

The first thing that Lily notices when she reaches the entrance of the flat is that the door is open.

3.making ghosts (wip, unposted)

You see, there’s something you need to understand about this, about the world and the whole ordeal of being alive, if you intend to make any sense out of it. And that is that ghosts are real.

and since there's no point in sharing notes from messy outlines, here are some random making ghosts snippets:

4. “Really, Prongs?” Sirius asks with an arched eyebrow, not at all bothered by the exasperation in James’ gaze. “You know, this actually works in your favour. Since it means you’re not getting your heart eaten tonight.”

5. Starting an argument is what Barty wants whenever he’s bored, or becomes antsy, or is simply in a bad mood, because he still doesn’t quite know how to behave around other people without being confrontational. He grew up raised by a man who couldn’t bear the sight of his own son, unable to talk to him without picking a fight, and a woman who was too soft, too distant, to step up for him when the situation required it.

6. James is letting out a startled chuckle before he can help it, the sound surprising even himself. He’s so unbelievably mean. James finds it delightful.

7. Remus has a very distinct way of saying Sirius’ name, just like Sirius pronounces his with a sort of reverence, almost as if his tongue is tasting a prayer, something sacred that begs to be worshipped.

8. “Please, tell me you have not actually hired an exorcist,” Regulus mutters, mildly horrified at the prospect.

9. He had to become obsessed with the worst possible option, and now they’re here, Reg about to commit an actual murder with James as a witness, and that only if he doesn’t end up getting killed, too, which James doesn’t think he would mind that much, because this situation can’t get any worse, and Reg still looks impossibly lovely, and dying at his hands does not sound as bad as it probably should.

10. And now Sirius is back. Not a ghost, and not a memory. Sirius, the real one. His big brother.

tagging ten people is absolutely crazy, and i'm pretty sure all the people i follow have already done it, so!! not tagging anyone this time!! but please feel free to do it if you see this <3 (and tag me because i'd love to see)

[tkbrokkoli]

just watched the de fanart montages to fire escape in the sea and cleaning out the rooms by sea power again. and. words can’t contain how it makes me feel. you guys 👌👌👌

[altruistic-meme]

had an anxiety attack at work over presumably nothing. which was fun.

[mishkakagehishka]

Socialisation is key, i really am just like a bunny

[noxtivagus]

i've been listening to more of arknights' ost n i love it so much

[cextra-loz]

The longer it takes for my doctors to prescribe me anything other than metoprolol the more powerful my rage and fury becomes.