#i've been through so much in my life which I will not talk about on here

[just-a-ghost00]

What they wish to tell you

Decks used : I don't care oracle, White Numen tarot, Spirit Junkie oracle

Group 1 ⭐️

"My productivity stems from inspiration. When I focus on what brings me joy, my tasks become effortless actions." The Moon, 4 of pentacles, 5 of cups, Abuse of power rx, Party in your heart, Surprise rx

They wish to tell you that they're afraid and unhappy. That they feel powerless within this connection. They feel like they've lost all chances of being with you and that scares them. I get a lot of sadness from this spread. Sadness and regret. They feel unsafe. Like all the fun has been taken away from them. They can't seem to rejoice about the things they used to like or to marvel at life. They have a hard time focusing on daily tasks, seeing the glass half full. They feel uninspired, unmotivated, lost because things aren't as they used to be. They feel like you've changed, whether that's the truth or not. They feel disconnected from you, from people in general. They have a hard time thinking positively. I feel like they struggle with mental health issues at the moment. At the back of each deck we have The High Priestess, Dopamine ? Dopa-go ! & My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me. This person feels like they are not supported by the people around them. They have lost the will to fight for what makes them happy, what they believe in. They're going through a dark night of the soul and they're in a lot of confusion right now. That's also something they try to hide from people around them, including you. They put on a façade but the truth is they wish they could tell you how empty they feel without you. This person wishes they could go back to the times where things weren't as complicated and they could enjoy themselves freely. This person feels like they cannot be themselves freely with their loved ones. For some of you, the person you're thinking of may struggle with their sense of identity. I was picking up on the LGBTQIA2S+ community. For some of you, if your person is a masculine, they may struggle with expressing their feminine side because of societal expectations or pressure from family. I was specifically picking up on Drag Queens and Kings. But more than that I just feel like your person is currently struggling to find their path in life and may be questioning themselves a lot. Which is a very tiring and uncertain time of their life. And they wish they could talk about it with you but for some reason they struggle to do so. Their heart feels very guarded. They are very insecure right now. They have a hard time showing compassion to their own self for what they are experiencing. They may be blaming themselves a lot when they have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel like if this person could change their surroundings maybe they wouldn't be going through such a difficult phase.

Group 2 🍾

"I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world." Death, The Chariot, 3 of swords, Stop doing so much, There's no planet B! , Stand up for yourself rx

The person on your mind wishes to tell you that they feel stuck career wise and they don't know where they stand anymore. This person doesn't feel happy with their professional life as of now and they are afraid to leave whatever situation they're in because they have no idea where they would go or what they would do in such case. This person feels like they don't have what it takes to start over again. They wish they could move on and find something better, get closer to you possibly but they lack the strength and courage to do so. This person feels burnt out by their responsibilities and engagements. They're also afraid of criticism from their peers. On the back of each deck we have knight of swords & Close your eyes, close the curtains and sleep & "Attacking others is an attack on myself. I choose to release this now." They wish to tell you that they do not dare to speak up their mind for fear of rejection. They're afraid of their own light and power, as well as the effects their choices would have on the people around them. They're afraid of the unknown, of "losing" what they're used to. They're afraid of change. They're losing sleep over the fact that no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they think about it, they can't seem to find a way out or a way to change the outcome. On one hand, they know that where they're at right now is detrimental to them. But on the other hand, they feel like if they left whatever situation they're in right now, they would be wasting something beautiful and they could not go back. This person is afraid of taking responsibility and they feel very bad about themselves right now. They're in a dilemma and though they sincerely wish to put an end to this cycle, they can't seem to get themselves out of it. They wish they could tell you how exhausted they are and how hurt they are but they keep it to themselves because they do not wish to burden you with their struggles. Also, for some of you, your person sees you working really hard for your dreams and they're afraid that you're overworking yourself. They wish you would take the time to rest and take care of yourself.

Group 3 🎀

"My friendships support me, nourish me and inspire me." 10 of wands, 2 of wands, The Magician, I dare to declare my love, Please leave a message, Spread the love

I really like the energy of this spread. It's such a stark contrast to the other groups. They wish to tell you that, though they have a lot on their plate, you do not leave their mind and they still have a lot of hope for your connection. You are a source of motivation and inspiration to them. You are the reason why they get up in the morning and do their best every day. They wish to tell you that whatever you are going through, they still appreciate you and care for you. That should you need them, even if they're busy with their own things to deal with, they'll make time and space for you, to comfort you and guide you. They wish to tell you that you are so dear to them and that they're working really hard to be able to be closer to you. That may be true especially for those of you that are in a long distance connection. This person hopes to travel so that they can meet you. They're constantly day dreaming about you. They wish to tell you that you're all they care about and that they only have eyes for you. At the back of each deck we have Ace of pentacles, You are here & "Compassion is my compass. I am willing to hold space for the experience of others." The "You are here" card show an arrow pointing to the Earth from an outer space perspective and the Earth is right at the center of the galaxy from that angle. So they wish to tell you that you're at the center of their Universe. You occupy their thoughts at every moment of their life. I get the same vibe from the compassion card. They are willing to adapt and change things in their life so that you can better fit into their world. With this ace of pentacles, they wish to tell you that they would like to start anew with you or give your connection a new turn by making you an offer. I feel like this person would like to be in a relationship with you, regardless of what people may think and despite the challenges this may rise. It's like, no matter what, they're willing to make it work because you mean so much to them. Honestly this is so sweet.

[14dayswithyou]

I literally have the most amazing and wonderful community in the entire world???? T_T In this essay, I will—

This is going to be raw and unedited because I want to get my initial thoughts out there before I forget n go back to crying /pos, but?? Yawl.... I can't even begin to find the words to express how appreciative and grateful I am for each and every one of you!! ;v;

I've spent the past few hours reading through everyone's personally written messages, then rereading them all again to let it all fully sink in. I'm being genuine when I say that I've never felt this loved or appreciated in any community before in my life.

Those in the Discord server might know about this already, but since the start of this year, I haven't really been enjoying myself (nor have I been as active) in the yandere VN community. There was far too much infighting between devs, parasocial communities, and toxic anons that ruined so much for me — so I withdrew from it all and remained in my own small bubble. Even then, I still got belittled, harassed, doxxed, and even became the target of Tall Poppy Syndrome by others; most of which nearly made me want to leave altogether, but the overflowing amount of support from everyone in the 14DWY community made me want to stay.

And even now, after reading all those heartfelt messages... I think it's permanently solidified the little space I occupy here on the internet :3

So... Yeah, long story short (and a story that will likely end up as its own separate Tumblr post gjskskjd), I wasn't enjoying myself at all in the yandere VN community... but I did have the time of my life in the 14DWY community. And it's all thanks to you guys.

I'm genuinely sooooo proud to have such an endlessly kind, social, and talented community; and I'm glad to have brought such an interactive and friendly group of people together over our shared interest in such a nice concept. 14DWY is essentially a labour of my love — and although I'm ultimately creating it for me and my silly interests — it's still something that I want to make worthy of you guys as well. All the love and support you've shown me and 14DWY motivates me to do my very best, and y'all deserve nothing less. So...

Thank you all for finding a comfort character in my Totally Normal Guy and his Totally Not Eccentric quirks. Thank you for all the insanely talented creations y'all make and share with me. Thank you for sending in your silly (/pos) questions and turning them into inside jokes and AUs for the rest of the community to enjoy. Thank you for talking with me and making this space a genuinely fun place for me to be in again.

From the bottom of my heart; thank you all so much. I really hope everyone has had an amazing year so far, and I hope 2025 will be as kind to you as you all were towards me.

I also want to give a big fat massive huuuuuuuge shout-out to Ashe / @flaneur001 my love (/p) for organising the 14DWY letter event on Discord, and for contributing so much of their time and dedication to the 14DWY community. You say you've only been part of the community for a year, but to me, that was a year well cherished and appreciated. The 14DWY community (and me especially) have all been so lucky to spend this past year with you, and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have. You've done so much for me, the community, and the 14DWY Discord server, so it's only fair that you get the recognition you deserve. So thank you, Ashe!! And a big thank you to everyone in the 14DWY Discord who participated in this event as well!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some cryin and sobbin to do <3 /silly /pos

[opheliachoi99]

ᜊ 𝑊ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝐶𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 ᜊ

FEATURING : Itoshi Sae, Michael Kaiser, Oliver Aiku, and Itoshi Rin

ABOUT : Them as your long distance fiancé, which will unexpectedly becomes your husband in near time. In which you kept your pain, because you couldn't have the right time to tell them about you and your baby.

Note : These are short scenarios for each characters, I was inspired by the song "When She Cries" by Restless Heart. Enjoy reading!

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Itoshi Sae

— You breathed heavily, as you felt nauseous all of a sudden. Timing, your fiancé Sae called. "Hello? Honey! How are you? Currently in Barcelona Airport, I was gonna surprise you that I was coming home, but I couldn't seem to decide what to bring, so gotta tell you instead! How's our new house in London—? H-hello? Baby? Are you there?" You couldn't respond as you were already in the bathroom puking on the toilet.

"Honey! Hello? Are you okay? Hello?" He kept bugging but you were already in the urge to grab a pregnancy test and took it quickly "Honey, this isn't funny. I hear some rattling in the background, what are you doing?"

You gasped as you saw the results. "Positive." You sternly spoke "Positive? What do you mean pos— oh. Oh. My. Gosh. BABY! PLEASE REST! I'LL BE HOME 6 HOURS IN TIME, PLEASE BARE WITH ME!" You suddenly cried because you couldn't bare the pain you're feeling right now.

Shit. Don't tell me she's..

— Timeskip —

Sae came home just in time, he was carrying a lot of stuff, but he dropped everything except a bottle of water and some pills.

"BABY I'M HERE! I KNEW I HAD TO TRAVEL BACK TO YOU FOR A CERTAIN REASON! I just had a feeling.." There you laid on the corner of the bed, still feeling nauseous.

"Sae, b-baby, I'm.." You stuttered. "Shh.. I know, I'm here. I got water, and some pills to reduce the nausea you're feeling."

He knelt down towards your belly level "So you're coming soon huh? Better take care of your mom here, she's getting dizzy and sick, I don't want that you know" You slightly chuckle "Love, you're so weird." You stated.

"Oh, if I'm weird, I wonder how the little one will be- I'll be teaching this little buddy how to play soccer the moment they come out- but- what if it's a girl— EVEN BETTER!" He ran around the room like a kid full of excitement, this wasn't his typical way of acting, but he was way too excited to be a father. You suddenly cried, "Baby, hey, why are you crying? I'm here now!" He gently sat next you "I-" You sniffled "I thought I was going to suffer alone.. I thought you wouldn't come back.. I thought I would end up being a single moth—"

"Shh" Sae placed his index finger on your lips, signaling you to no longer continue "Honey, I'm here. You're not suffering alone, You won't be taking care of this baby alone. I've been out of the country because of my career, but now, I can set aside my soccer career. Taking care of you and the baby is much more important, don't worry. I've cancelled all my schedules, I'm free the whole year. If I needed to go back to Spain, I'll make sure you'll come along this time. At least I can keep an eye on you" He pecked your forehead as reassurance.

"I will never leave you, so don't cry, it hurts seeing you cry and suffering with pregnancy. I love you okay?" He kissed you once again and you nodded as you felt reassured everything was alright.

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Michael Kaiser

— You and Kaiser were happily talking with each other through the phone, as you were sipping tea in your balcony floor, admiring the view from there as you talked with the love of your life.

"Once our final game is done meine liebe, I'll come home straight to you and we'll binge watch your favourite series the whole night, how does that sound? Hmm?" His voice muttered from the other end of the phone "I'd love that schatz, I'll be wait—" "Baby? Liebe? Hello? You were saying?" Kaiser's eyes widen as he heard vomit noises from the end of your line "Baby? Are you okay? Hello?" Your voice echoed the bathroom as you cried, you hated the feeling when you puke, it was the worst "Liebe? Are you vomiting?" Kaiser was already too worried "Baby I think I'm—" You continuously vomited. "Ahh!! Where's the pregnancy test?" You yelled.

"Preg— PREGNANCY TEST?!?! SCHATZ DON'T TELL ME.. Fuck." He ended the call immediately.

You didn't noticed he ended the call because you were too stunned from what you saw right in front of you.

"P-positive? No way.. It can't be.. He's still away for three months.." You felt nauseous once again and went back to the toilet seat to puke.

— Timeskip —

"Shit, shit, shit" Kaiser cussed as he was packing stuff in his luggage. "Michael? Where are you off to?" Ness barged in without notice "I'm going back to Germany." Kaiser coldly spoke "Huh? But our training has not completed yet- besides, what's the rush? You told your fiancé that you'll be back after three months."

"Correction, my wife. And she needs me, soccer can wait. Tell Ego, I'm heading out, I'll make it all up, but cannot promise as well. For now, my liebe needs me." Kaiser seriously stated as he finishes packing.

"I'll be going now, tell Yoichi he's in charge now, ciao!"

"I- but-" Kaiser didn't let Ness finish and he slams the door from behind. Ness sighed "It's like he's having a baby or something-" He just shrugged and went off to tell everyone what happened.

— Timeskip —

Kaiser arrived just in time. He unloaded his luggages and extra stuff from the back of his car "Gosh, I hope these stuff will help her.."

He arrived towards your room, he sees you resting peacefully in bed. He caressed your cheeks and kissed your forehead "I'm home meine liebe." He scanned around the room, and saw your leftover tea outside the balcony, and he took it and closed the unclosed sliding door from the balcony.

He surveilled the bathroom as he saw what a mess it was, and he saw a pregnancy test lying on the bathroom counter "Fuck, it's positive?! YAHOO!!" His loud voice woke you up.

"Micha?" You swore you heard a familiar voice. "Liebe!" Your ears rang as you heard it clearly.

You jumped from startledness as Kaiser came out the bathroom with the pregnancy test in his hand. "SCHATZ?!? WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!?" He jumped for joy as he immediately pounced himself in bed with you kissing you non-stop.

You suddenly cried. "Liebe, why are you crying? I'm here!"

You suddenly laughed "Micha.. It's just that, I thought you would come back much more later.. I did not expect you to come home so early.. I'm overwhelmed.." You spoke lightly.

"Oh my süßer Schatz, I can already sense, wait no, I felt you were in need, especially you're carrying our mini us. It's unacceptable if you're suffering alone" His words made your tears fall "Aww Micha.."

"Now now, you want ice cream? As soon as I landed, that was the first thing I bought for you" He proudly said, which made you laugh "That's the pretty smile I wanted to see, now I'll go get it okay? I'm sure little one wants one too hmm?" He spoke to your belly. He kissed your tummy and your lips "Ich liebe dich, schatz. Remember that. I'll go grab the ice cream and extra snacks and we'll watch the series? Like I promised" He winked at you as he left the room to grab the food he mentioned.

You simply laughed, too lucky to have loving fiancé, or should I say, husband, and a father of your future child.

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Oliver Aiku

— You were cooking ramen for your dinner, as a way to stop your stress over your fiancé Oliver Aiku. He was quite a pain in the ass, but, despite your fiery anger towards him, deep inside you were wishing he would show actions as a proper fiancé.

As you were cooking, tears started to flow. Mood swings suddenly hit you out of the blue. You wiped your tears, turned off the stove and went to the dining room to eat. You were thinking your menstruation was coming up, so you didn't bother to worry.

You were alone, as usual. Aiku has been very busy with his soccer career, and he's always either with Shidou or Sendou. You didn't mind because both were also your friends and constantly updates you wherever they are when Aiku couldn't.

Sendou sent a voice message using Aiku's number saying; "Hey Mrs. Aiku~ your fiancé is at it again, so many people interviewing your bae, what a busy man he is, don't worry, his fangirls won't be able to approach him because I lead them to me and Shidou instead! And damn they're hot!"

You simply let out a small chuckle as you were listening to their update, but at the same time you sighed, wishing Aiku himself would update you instead.

You left your phone open as you went to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

— Timeskip —

You came out the bathroom looking fresh as you just came out from showering. You were about to grab your novel to read when your phone rang, it was Aiku's number, you prayed it was Aiku who was calling this time, but sighed as you saw Shidou instead. "What now?" You let out a tone of annoyance "Hey bae! Just wanted to call on behalf of your hubby, he asked how were you?" Shidou spoke.

"Eh? He could've just told me directly- is he really that bus—" You paused for a bit, as you swore you felt a painful twist in your stomach "Really that what?" Shidou asked "I said is he really that busy to the point he couldn't ask me direct—" You paused again.

"Bae, if you keep on pausing on a wrong timing for fun- stop it, it's not funny" He sassily rolled his eyes "Wait- I need to go to the bathroom real quick.." You went to the bathroom and leaned your phone near the mirror, still on video call with Shidou.

"Uhm- bae? You good— oh my goodness-" You vomited and cried "I'm not feeling well Ryu.. I don't feel good.." You vomited once again "Oh shit- SENDOU!! CALL AIKU IMMEDIATELY! HIS WIFEY IS PUKING RAINBOWS AND SHIT-" Shidou panicked.

You cared less on what's happening on call, you couldn't think straight because your stomach really hurt and the nauseous feeling is taking over, you suddenly cried because of the pain your feeling right now "Shit, must've been the ramen that I ate.." You gaslighted yourself "Bae! When was the last time you had your period?"

You paused for a moment..

"NO! IT CAN'T BE!" You yelled as it echoed around the bathroom as you intensely find a pregnant test somewhere in the room.

"Bingo! Shit, this can't be." You groaned as you took the test.

Silence took over the atmosphere "Uh- Bae? Hello? Sendou! She's quiet!" Shidou panicked again. "Huh? Hello? Our beloved Mrs. Aiku! You good there?" Sendou asked from the end of the line.

You suddenly let out a sharp scream "DAMN WOMAN- CALM DOWN!" Shidou yelled back.

"I'M FUCKING PREGNANT.. IT'S POSITIVE!" You cried "Well shit, I'm telling Aiku, if he ain't listening I'm going to smack the shit out of 'em" Sendou spoke as Shidou ended the call.

You sat there in the bathroom floor spacing out, you soon started crying, knowing that Oliver wouldn't be able to be by your side during your pregnancy days. You sighed and suddenly felt nauseous once again and felt to urge to vomit once more.

— Timeskip —

The front door has been slammed open, with running feet speeding up the stairs.

"My beloved!" Aiku barged in the room, looking for an nauseous fiancé. He checked the bathroom and saw how messy it was, and the smell of vomit was still a bit humid.

"Shit. Where is she?" He scanned every corner of the room until he spotted you spacing out on the couch of the balcony, your eyes being lifeless looking. He soon felt guilt all over him.

He slowly opened the sliding door leading outside the balcony "Baby? I-I'm sorry... I'm here now.." Silence. Silence was the only reply he got from you. "Is it true? It's positive? I-I'm going to be a father?" Still silence.

He sadly sighed and knelt down to see your eyes "My love? Please, talk to me.."

Your eyes soon teared up "You're the one to talk." You replied coldly. "Baby, I'm at fault here I know, I just wanted to clarify if I'm gonna be a fath—"

"WHO SAID YOUR GOING TO BE A FATHER? AFTER HOW YOU TREATED ME?" Aiku went silent. "You asked me to marry you and I said yes, and this is the treatment that I received?!! I feel the mockery Oliver.." You cried.

Oliver gulped "I'm sorry okay? I've been so busy, relying that I finally got a soon-to-be wife, but I forgot to give time.." Your tears continuously flowing.

"Hey baby, don't cry, it's not healthy for the baby.. I don't want to harm you and our child.. You want me here? I'll do it. I'll sacrifice my soccer career. I'll be a proper husband and a father." He stated.

"All you do is talk. Not a single action shown." You replied with a weak tone, tears still flowing.

A few seconds you felt surprised because Aiku is now carrying you in bridal style "Hey! Put me down!" You demanded "You said wanted some action, I'll show you what I just said, I mean it. Again, I'm sorry my baby, can you forgive me?" He asked in a pleading tone.

"Make me." He suddenly kissed you, a soft and warm kiss, which melted your heart. He pecked your cheeks, nose, and forehead after "Now can you forgive me?" You chuckled. "Fine, but I'm still mad at you. I only ate ramen for dinner just so you know." Aiku's eyes widened.

"Am I hearing it right? Ramen?! I don't think so, that's not healthy for the baby. I'll make you soup, it's much more healthier" He demanded "Pfft- since when can you cook?" "Pardon me? I can cook, I just couldn't show you because I was too busy, now I'm here, you'll know" He winked.

You couldn't help but to giggle over his cheesy expression.

A few minutes passed he came with the soup as promised "Here my love, served warm and tasty~" He said as he sat next to you on the bed. He soon fed you spoonful of the soup "Mmm! Tasty indeed! Wow honey, you do cook! Cook for me some time please!" You praised "From now on I'll cook for you everyday!" "Promise?"

"Promise."

— Timeskip —

Shidou and Sendou arrived with extra foods and drinks, "You almost lost the keys- we could've been locked outside-" Sendou said "Eh- they're here anyway, they can open up for us" Shidou replied.

"What if they're asleep-" Sendou added as he placed the paper bags filled with foods and drinks. "Nah they're still up, LOVEBIRDS WE'RE HERE!" Shidou yelled.

"Oh for crying out loud Shidou keep it down!" Sendou spoke sternly as they went up the stairs.

"I told you they're still— awake.." Shidou lowered his voice as he approached your room "See what I mean-" Sendou stated.

You and Aiku were comfortably sleeping in bed cuddling and Aiku continuously caressing your hair. Aiku slowly opened his eyes and spotted his friends and did the "shh" expression, as a sign to keep it down.

Both gave him a thumbs up and Shidou quickly took a pic of you two peacefully resting and swiftly went back downstairs.

Aiku had enough of his friends mischief, he checked up on you and saw you calmly resting, a smile plastered on his face.

"I'm never hurting your precious soul again.." He whispered and gently gave you a peck on the forehead, and he gently went back to sleep.

=͟͟͞͞➳❥ Itoshi Rin

— You finally rested as you've just finished your spring cleaning. You let out a sigh, opening your phone with no notifications from him.

"As usual, no update from him.." You closed your phone and decided to read a novel to pass the time.

The novel you read made your tears drop as you relate to the main character of the story, having a cold and airy fiancé is quite hard.

You closed the novel and stared at the ceiling blankly. You thought of something on how to get Rin's attention. But you suddenly remembered, he still has that caring and loving side. Suddenly your phone popped up an notification, it said;

Rin : [ Hello love, I'll be coming home later in the evening, what do you want for a souvenir? ]

You let out a small chuckle, you seemed so contented and happy from a single notification from him.

Your brows suddenly furrowed, as you felt nauseous and weird, you tried to brush it off with a smile. But as you were replying, that uneasy feeling came back again.

You felt the urge to vomit so you quickly went to the bathroom and threw your phone to the bed, but as you threw your phone out of impatience, you accidentally pressed the call button.

But, Rin immediately answered it. Which was a miracle, but he wasn't the type to really ignore you, he proposed to you for a reason, he loves you.

"Hello? Darling? Uhm- your camera seems to be facing the ceiling-" Rin felt confused "So- uhm- about my question- you kept typing, I expected a long message but—" He paused as he heard a vomit from the end of your line "Honey?!" His tone suddenly changed "Hello?!?" He kept calling your name but no response, instead he keeps hearing you vomit from a distance.

"Shit, never knew this time would be coming.." He said as he ended the call.

On the other hand, you tried to gasp for air. You couldn't help but sob "What is going on with me?!" You cried.

You spaced out for a bit and vomited again.

You went back to bed to see your phone laying on the spot, you noticed some notifications, so you continued messaging Rin without knowing what happened before.

You : [ Anything Rin! I'll accept anything! Thank you for asking! Your presence is what I need the most tho :( ]

After messaging Rin, you decided to take a nap.

— Timeskip —

Rin finally arrived, barging in as if someone was chasing him. "Darling?!! I'm home!" He yelled as he placed all his stuff down and running up the stairs panting.

"HONEY!"

"AHH-" You gasped as you immediately sat up from your slumber "Rin?! What happened?!" You worriedly asked.

Rin ran towards you with a worried face "Are you okay? I brought everything you need" You suddenly felt overwhelmed as his actions were different so suddenly. "H-huh? Rin? Is everything okay?" You seemed confused.

"Oh my gosh" He grabbed a pregnancy test from his pocket "Here take this." He said as he assisted you all the way to the bathroom "What is this? H-hey!" He shuts the door for you.

A few minutes passed as he was walking back and forth from the bedroom, waiting for you to come out, when you did, he immediately checked up on you "So?"

You gulped "I-I'm.." You cried "Shh.. Hey.. Tell me" He sweeps a stray tuft of hair off your face so he could see you clearly. "I'm pregnant.." He went silent for a moment and gave you some space.

You were scared, so you silently cried.

"WOOHOO!! I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE A FATHER! I'M TELLING NII-CHAN!!" He happily yelled as he hugged you tightly.

"Why are you crying? Hey, I'm happy.. Finally.. I'm sorry if I couldn't be here in time.." He kissed your cheek.

You cried even more now, your a crying mess "I just wanted you here!! I'm so lonely in this huge mansion.." He suddenly chuckled "I'm sorry, you know there's a reason why I'm always away right?" You nodded. "I missed you a lot too, I'm just- not good at expressing on what I feel. I'm sorry.."

You went silent for a moment. "I'm sorry for not knowing that.. Why don't let's help each other hmm?" You suggested.

"That's a good suggestion darling, great timing. I won't be away for awhile, so I'll be here doing husband and father duties." He coldly stated, but you felt the care in his tone at the same time.

"I love that!"

"I love you." He said as he cupped your cheeks to kiss you warmly.

[earlysunshines]

secret rhymes — 29. sweet dreams (half-written)

your roommate yujin is back home during winter break, so when you return to your shared dorm it's just you and silence. a soft sigh leaves your lips as you set your things down before heading to the bathroom to unwind and change into something comfier.

before you do so, you make sure to send a text to hanni, keeping a mental note to check your notifications after.

(as if you don't already wait eagerly for her texts.)

when you're done, you're met with a lovely notification from hanni that says 'i can call when you can :)' and smile at the screen.

almost without thinking, you quickly check how you look in the mirror. your hair is still a little damp, which stains the gray t-shirt you have on just a bit. you run a hand through your hair before sitting on your bed comfortably. you press the 'facetime' icon, though not without hesitating a bit.

the ringtone echoes through your room as you lean back against your bedframe, with your blanket covering you perfectly. you decide to grab the guitar sitting beside your bed while you wait, setting it beside you on the mattress. you did have some ideas for a song earlier.

you glance at the screen, waiting for hanni to pick up. the anticipation makes you all giddy.

when the call finally connects, the first thing you see is her forehead filling up half of the screen.

you chuckle. "...hello?"

"oh, hang on," she mutters, adjusting the camera until her whole face comes into view. she's in a t-shirt as well, her hair slightly tousled before, and she offers a sheepish grin. "hi."

"hey," you reply, smiling at the screen. "nice view of your forehead earlier, by the way."

she rolls her eyes but smiles anyway, settling into her bed. "i was getting comfortable, okay? not everyone can be ready for a close-up 24/7."

"you're an idol, though," you tease, setting your phone down and grabbing your guitar. "isn't that like, in the job description?"

"funny." she says flatly, though there's a hint of amusement in her tone.

she watches you strum lazily, only the neck of your guitar, your fingers, and your face in view as the sound fills the call. you pluck at the strings idly, creating random chords and humming softly to a tune that you made up earlier in the day.

the conversation drifts easily—catching up about your week, her recounting an interview she did earlier in the day, and how they recorded a 'jeans zine.'

"it's always a bit hectic," she admits, tucking her knees up to her chest. "but fun. i think this one's going to be really cute, it's a special for new years."

"i'll make sure to watch it. i watched your christmas one not too long ago, very cute." you say absentmindedly, still experimenting with a melody. "and your interview?"

"oh, the usual. promotions with 'ditto' and 'omg,' inspirations, what we've been up to. sometimes it's weird to me, like, talking about my life like it's newsworthy."

"it is," you tease lightly. "you're an idol, remember? and just you as a person, you're really interesting."

"right," she laughs softly. "anyway, how was your week?"

"ah, i just spent most of it with a friend from home. but it's been hectic too." you reply, "with yunjin's song out, me being on the credits, and her like—soft launching me? i've gotten a lot of attention and more support. it's really cool, but there's so much going on, especially on twitter, tiktok, and instagram."

"that's funny. i'm glad you're getting recognition, you deserve it."

"aw, thank you hanni."

there's a lull, but it's comfortable. hanni watches you as you hum a tune under your breath, occasionally pausing to scribble something in a notebook beside you.

"do you always multitask like this?" she asks, resting her cheek on her knee.

"too often," you admit, glancing at her through the screen. "am i boring you? maybe you should sleep, i don't want to keep you up like this."

"no, no. it's fine, i don't mind at all." she says quickly, almost too quickly, and you swear you catch the faintest blush creeping up her cheeks. it could also be the light, though. "it's... relaxing, actually. i really like this."

you don't respond, instead, you opt for a simple grin. you keep playing, trying to focus on the chords and not the way her gaze lingers on you.

"hey... y/n?" hanni says after a while, earning your attention.

"yeah?"

"we're still on for wednesday, right?"

"of course."

"right, just making sure." hanni mutters, shifting herself so she can lay down on the bed comfortably. there's a small, content grin resting on her lips.

conversation slows, her responses become softer, and you've found a little scrap of a song throughout the call. there's a stretch of silence when you run the song back, humming a melody and singing whatever lyrics come to your mind.

you glance back at your phone minutes later to see that hanni's out. her eyes are closed and her head rests against her arm.

"hanni?" you whisper, but there's no response. she's asleep, her soft breaths barely heard through the phone. you try again once more, whispering another, "hanni?" but she doesn't stir.

you smile to yourself. "goodnight hanni," you say softly, letting her sleep as you continue to strum quietly, filling the silence with your voice.

it's odd, you think. you've known hanni for a short amount of time, yet even after a few hours during the late hours at night and a few texts—something about your friendship seems right.

hanni being an addition to your life seems perfect.

—

masterlist ; previous - next

taglist ! @namojoon @ly-gushka @layonaiguess @sonotcopingatall @artrizzler19 @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @nwjnsloona @saysirhc @nimnia @somedaydream @trovao-penguins @modanisgf @c-yerim @starstruckgoateepuppy @tzuyusdoughnut @kaypanaq @peranoo @haerinkisser @electronicluminarycoffee @yoohtonyy @secretcessy @keiji-jin @awkwardtoafault @syronns @linnnsworld @inybits @ynwrites

[red-writes]

After not seeing Izuku for years, he looks so gorgeous right now. The moon illuminating his freckled face and leaving his dark green eyes with a sparkle that has your breath caught up in your throat. You’d think that after years of not seeing him, your feelings for him would’ve dissipated, gone away. But it’s quite the opposite now as you stare at his face. The conversation grew quiet and the two of you exchanged pleasantries and asked the other how’d life had been since UA. It might’ve been the champagne in your hand but you decided to take a risk-

“There’s someone I like”

“Really? They’re lucky…what’re they like?”

“Well” you started, “He’s very strong. The strongest person I know, he’s a hero and he’s extremely admirable he’s loved by literally everyone” you chuckled.

Izuku turned to look at you with a pained expression, he pursed his lips and nodded his head encouraging you to continue

“He’s really handsome too. Very tall and smart and so caring…I’ve loved him for years now but- we’re worlds apart so I don’t think he’ll ever look my way” you sigh and give him a sad smile

“Oh y/n…that guy doesn’t even realize how good he has it, to be loved by someone so amazing as you” he looks at you with such a feeling of warmth that it might’ve made you believe that for a moment- just a split second- that he liked you too.

“What about you? Is there a special someone in your life?” You ask and take a swig of your champagne, eager to take the conversation off of you.

“Well..yeah there is”

“What kind of person are they?”

“She um…she’s really beautiful, it’s a surprise to me she doesn’t model. She’s got such an amazing energy that you want to be around all the time. I knew her since I was a first year at UA and I knew from then on that she was the one”

You felt yourself stiffen. Who could it be? Your mind flashed through all the girls in your old class as you tried to imagine which one held Izuku’s heart.

“Why haven’t you told her?”

He took a deep breath in and he released it before taking a drink from his own glass of champagne.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

He didn't know what to say, "I guess to say that I..think she just deserves so much better than what I can offer"

You finished your glass of champagne.

"But Izuku you're so..you're so kind and funny and sweet and caring and generous--" you could feel the champagne making your head fuzzy as you continued to speak, "you're so perfect Izuku”

There was a silence that followed before izuku spoke

"You're one to talk, I can't believe that guy hasn't snatched you up yet, you're probably the most fantastic woman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting."

There was more silence as the two of you leaned closer towards one another but the door of the patio opened and bakugou emerged with a raised eyebrow and

You and izuku jumped back from each other.

"Sorry let’s go back in."

"Yeah..let's"

[genderqueerdykes]

How to deal w a longtime friend that at some point became a radfem? I was bad at recognising it back then when there were clear signs and didnt know how to argue, so i stayed passive and argeeable, esp since im a nonbinary guy n shes a (sorta questioning) cis girl.

When i showed discomfort with her doing the "i hate all men" type stuff she's said "omg you're not one of those 'not all men' types" and bc i didnt know at the time i backed off, n she also mentioned how she sees/treats both trans men n cis men the same

I mean ive always felt like she's treated me that way, or that i felt like i needed to stay silent or had more priviledge when around her, despite being pre-everything and pr much closeted in my everyday life, or felt more like i was a binary man around her when im not

She has also been sorta weirdly sex/kink negative or made fun of it, for some time i figured that it was just a bit bc of her being sex repulsed n her being immature, but i still felt sorta more ashamed regarding my kinkiness/sexuality around her when not (were both on the aroace spectrum, though i figured out more recently)

Also parroting radfem rhetoric about "well the sex industry is harmful" (..every capitalistic industry is harmful) and when mentioning kinks/fetishes for some reason often brought up "but what about those kinks where people get off to women starving themselves/having problems w their weight" which is like?? Yea okay if they are doing that to real people thats bad but like what kink/fetish spaces do you hang out in where that would be the first thing you'd bring up??

I also once remember her mentioning that she felt weird about her own connection to masculinity, which i sussed and esp now sus might be due to her being this man-hating

She's told me "you don't have an issue w the 'man vs bear' thing since you're a guy right?" but i didnt feel like arguing at that time so i just agreed and quickly moved onto another subject

Looking back at older texts, she's also said before that im "one of the few men she actually respects"

I've realised how harmful and bull radfem rhetoric is now, n i want to keep a distance from her, but idk how to deal w it bc ive always been the more agreeable and peace-keeping one between us

i'm so sorry you had to go through this. radfems are possessive of the identities of everyone around them to the point of coming up with the most asinine bullshit to make other people feel insecure and question themselves and just go along with whatever the hell they're saying. it's toxic and abusive.

whenever i talk about transmasculine and trans male issues, i get those "oh you're one of those not all men types" as well. it's such a useless thing to say. like if the thing you're opposing is people making blanket statements about women and being treated like a monolith, why are you doing it to someone else? that's the example you're setting, but yet you expect different treatment? double standard.

the sex & kink negativity in radfeminism is exhausting, too. it's not progressive. a lot of people choose to go into sex work and enjoy it. some don't mind it. some are okay with that being their job. a lot of people are exploited, but not everyone is. like you said, it's the capitalist corruption of these industry that causes problems. like you said, people instantly jump to the worst possible conclusion when the subject of kink comes up

the normal song and dance is "men who are into BDSM are only straight guys who are misogynistic and want to beat women. women who are into BDSM are scared and confused and being taken advantage of and are enabling abusive men." they have very few arguments and they're all so far out of left field that it's not relevant to the type of conversation you're having in that moment. making blanket statements about all kinky people being abusive in some way... that's profiling.

at this point its your choice if you continue to interact with her. if you do, you are allowed to stand your ground and tell her that those kinds of things make you very uncomfortable and that it's just not okay. if she can't handle that, then it's not your job to try to change her mind. if she cares about you, she'll treat you with respect. i hope that's the case, but you don't owe time or energy to people who treat you like garbage. good luck, stay safe

[pompomchihuahua]

On Sanemi and Giyuu: A Journey of Misunderstandings

Sanemi and Giyuu have possibly one of the most misunderstood dynamics in fandom that I've ever personally seen. And to truly understand their relationship, I want to briefly talk about Giyuu and how his past affects his relationship with the other Hashira.

Let's start with Giyuu.

The Hashira that was never meant to be. Giyuu's life is one built on sacrifice and regret. First with the loss of his sister, Tsutako, after she sacrificed herself to save him. He falls into a depression and feels that he should have been the one to die instead when his sister, who was set to be married in one day, had so much "more" to live for.

Sabito then delivers the infamous slap. The shock and pain of life help to pull him back into the moment when Sabito tells him not to waste his sister's sacrifice, that she knew exactly what she was giving up when she hid him.

And he manages to get through to Giyuu for a while. Until Final Selection, when Sabito tragically gives up his life to save Giyuu and everyone else taking part in Final Selection that year.

From there, Giyuu spirals, forgetting the lesson Sabito taught him on mount Sagiri. He devotes himself to his training and quickly ascends the ranks, but believes himself unworthy of the status of Hashira because of what was sacrificed to get him there.

As a result, he isolates himself from companionship. In the light novel, Ubuyashiki says this about Giyuu: "But Tomioka has deliberately cornered himself. He looks backward because that's what he wants." The guidebook says, "The Water Hashira keeps a distance from the other Hashira and the rest of the corps."

As I mentioned in my post on Sanemi's pack-centric nature, it's not right to even call Giyuu a lone wolf at this point in the story because he does not want companionship.

Giyuu, like many characters, is trapped in the past and self-destructing via isolation.

That's not to say he doesn't subconsciously want it. Humans are social animals who crave contact on our most basic levels; of course there is always going to be some part of Giyuu that wants human contact. This subconscious desire for human contact can be seen in the way he views the other Hashira.

The first thing I notice is that he rates the Hashira based on how much they talk to him. If they don't talk to him, he doesn't speak with them.

I mean, just look at that piddly openness score! Sanemi has twice the level of openness and the light novel outright calls him "unsociable." Muichirou, who is described (and this is a direct quote from page 140 of OWB) as "basically an empty puppet" has an openness score of 40%.

And I'd like to emphasize that it is very much not just Sanemi that has complaints about Giyuu's behavior.

His isolation affects not just his social life but his job as well with Uzui saying in the light novels: "We're finally cutting loose the uncooperative Water Hashira?"

Even Rengoku chips in, saying "we have to stand tall and tell him our complaints," just a few sentences later.

During the Hashira meeting at the beginning of the training arc, Amane asks them on behalf of Ubuyashiki to unlock the marks for the sake of defeating Muzan, but, Giyuu, resigned that he would never earn a mark and does not deserve to stand with the Hashira, leaves the meeting.

It's easy to forget that we, as the viewer, have all the context and that other characters don't. To the other Hashira, this comes across as Giyuu actively shirking his duty as a Hashira.

Sanemi stops Giyuu, stating that he can't leave until they "decide what our respective roles will be!"

To which Giyuu responds "It has nothing to do with me."

Shinobu outright asks Giyuu to explain himself to which he simply says "I'm not like the rest of you."

As the viewer, we know he means that he is not on par with the others, but to characters like Sanemi, who has spent his life in poverty and thus, looked down upon, this sounds all to familiar.

Sanemi even outright says: "I don't like the sound of that. You said the same thing before, didn't you, Tomioka? You're looking down on us?"

Giving him a very clear chance to explain himself.

However, Giyuu just turns his head and walks away, leaving Sanemi with that assumption.

This is without going into, how, during the very same meeting, Giyuu calls Sanemi a "simpleton," completely unprompted.

As much as I love Giyuu, he doesn't make a very good case for himself in the eyes of the other Hashira.

So, what changes? How does Giyuu go from actively avoiding contact to this:

Well...

Simply put... his relationship with Tanjirou.

His brotherly bond with Tanjirou is one of the most beautiful storylines in Demon Slayer and I could make a whole post devoted to them if I had the time. But to put it shortly, Tanjirou helps Giyuu learn to open himself up to companionship again. Suddenly, we see a shift in Giyuu. And the light novels make a very heavy distinction between the way Giyuu was acting before Tanjirou's influence and after: "The way Tomioka was now, Tanjirou was sure he'd be able to be friends with everyone."

Unfortunately for Tomioka... he has a hard time convincing Sanemi that he isn't making fun of him and that he want's to be friends.

His face in the light novel is described as: "his face seemed like he was making fun of anyone who spoke to him."

Aka he's got a major case of RBF and a very flat tone with very little intonation. Which means that when Giyuu tries to reach out to Sanemi through ohagi (a treat typically enjoyed by children!), between his face, voice, and previous history of insulting Sanemi, it seems only logical (to Sanemi, the audience knows different) that Giyuu is making fun of him once again.

I've already discussed in length how Sanemi is a pack-centered person (here) and how it also affects how it sees Giyuu. How his loner archetype is the antithesis of what the mighty wolf stands for.

So how does Sanemi go from thinking that Giyuu is a self-centered asshole to smiling at him like this?

By finally, finally, in the end, proving himself as part of the pack and a team player.

Finally, on the battlefield, they are equals and Sanemi sees Giyuu for his true self; willing to sacrifice everything for the good of humanity and for his family.

As for Sanemi's huge shift in attitude in general at the end, well, that's a different post.

Regardless, Sanemi and Giyuu's relationship is one fraught with misunderstanding and is a prime example of how someone's mental state can clash with someone else's. You never know what someone else is going through. For Sanemi, he fundamentally doesn't understand that it is Giyuu's guilt and desire to not see anyone else lose their life in his name that drives him to isolate while Giyuu can't see that his isolation comes across as arrogance to someone who has spent their whole life in a position of being considered "lower."

All in all, they have an incredibly interesting dynamic that I think is taken for granted.

[polyamorousmood]

i've known i was polyamorous since i was in my early teens, and rarely struggled with romantic jealousy. with my current partner, however, i've started getting really jealous out of nowhere. every time they mention being attracted to someone else, my mind fills up with so much worry, doubt, and anxiety, that it makes me physically ill.

my only theories are that it could be some underlying insecurity of mine that had never been awakened before by my previous relationships. or maybe that, because this relationship is more non-standard than my previous ones, i don't have the common social rules and expectations to fall back on, which ends up getting replaced with uncertainty and fear? i really don't know though. i have to think about it more.

do you have any tips for managing jealousy like this?

So I've talked about jealousy a few times, and I won't repeat it here (I'll link to some good ones at the end), but since this is a recent development I do have a few steps to try first.

Evaluate other changes. Do you feel different about other things? Is there anything that could be making you more anxious generally? Med changes, sleep, other stressors, etc can all contribute. Make sure there's not some other root cause.

Differences in this relationship. Do you care about this person more than others? Or do you have a reason to doubt them you didn't with your previous partners? You mentioned perhaps its an underlying insecurity, what insecurity might that be/what could have triggered it? This is "less standard" than your previous ones, do you feel bothered by that otherwise, does it make you feel less stable?

And then you were right you need to think about it more. Without more details on why its a struggle for you, everything I would give is mostly my other advice for jealousy. This is the main ask I link to, but the whole jealousy tag might be useful for you to look through. If you don't read through that whole other thing, I at least want to make sure you have this workbook available to you

And like. As I'm sure you know, therapy is always an option. My opinions from my life experiences are not a holy grail. So on and so forth and what have you.

Good luck, friend!!

[lastoneout]

I say this is them being insane about meds also because at the hospital I prefer to go to if I walk in with a migraine they'll straight up just give me morphine, fentanyl, AND dilaudid in a single visit, they will not quit until I am at a 0 on the pain scale, but the hospital I was at last night wouldn't give me fucking anything at all when I was sobbing through the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life after having again, A SURGERY TO IMPLANT A SHUNT IN MY SPINE THAT LEFT ME WITH FIVE INCISIONS IN MY UPPER BODY, because it hadn't yet been twelve hours since my last dose.

Also, the doctor who I talked to before discharge said they would be sending me home with oxycodone + tylenol that would be 7.5mg of the oxy and like five 10mg oxycodone for if things get really bad, and I know they said that bcs I told them they might have to do prior auth with my insurance about it and they said np they, would take care of it no problem...but when I got the the pharmacy they gave me just 10 days worth of percoset which only contains 5mg of oxycodone and a complimentary bottle of narcan with instructions on how to use it. My fiancé had to go back and raise hell for them to fill the straight oxy script and they would only give me 5mg so it was kinda pointless anyway.

Which like rad, good to have the narcan, it's important to have and know how to use, but I think this reveals some truly fucked up ways of approaching post-surgery pain management that have convinced me to never go to that fucking hospital ever again.

Like I'm sorry I was at an 11 after the first major surgery I've ever had in my life, and on top of that I have fibromyalgia which means pain is undeniably worse for me than other people you can literally prove it scientifically and everything, and instead of thinking "maybe forcing her to suffer this much is inhumane" they prioritized making sure I know that these meds are VERY dangerous and I have to be EXTRA careful with them so I don't accidentally kill myself and actually if I can I should just stick to ibuprofen because it's safer and surely more than enough to deal with POST SURGERY PAIN IN A PATIENT WITH PAIN HURTS WORSE DISEASE.

Insane. It's actually insane.

I'm home from the hospital and I can confirm that the opioid crisis has made these places fucking insane about literally all medications.

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[deoidesign]

.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

[kyouka-supremacy]

(╥﹏╥)

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[theirloveisgross]

.

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier