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gretavanmoon · 4 months

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S17

Spinning Now: "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih (2009)

Pairing: Danny x female reader

Word Count: 14.3k

Description: Danny's always been that friend and roommate who you never thought of as anything more, until a birthday proposition presents itself in a way that neither of you can deny.

Warnings: Drinking, Cursing, Heavy Flirting, Praise, Dirty Talk, Touching, Wax Play

Smut: Kissing, Oral M!Receiving, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Sex (use protection!!)

+ This little diddly of an idea has been swimming around in my head for months now, and I've been so excited to get it going. And thanks to the reader who suggested it be a roomies trope ;) Hope ya like xoxo

Girl you know i i i...

HER POV

White or red?

There is no special occasion, simply just the bi-weekly dinner gathering of your friend group that has turned into an every-Thursday-night habit. Not that an occasion constitutes your wine choice, but still yet, the thought quickly crosses your mind. You are all meeting at your and Danny’s house tonight, along with the conjoined group of friends that has been steadily keeping each other fed for the past two and a half years, now.

You’d been living with Danny for as long as you could remember, taking claim of his spare room sometime after everyone collectively moved out of your parents’ homes. The arrangement worked perfectly, the two of you already knowing how the other ticked after being friends for many years. Your jobs kept both of you busy, giving the other enough room that you didn’t feel like you were invading space in the small house.

You pull your phone from your pocket as you peruse the wine selections, texting the group chat to check on tonight’s menu.

You: What are we making tonight again? I already forgot

Jake: Salmon and quinoa and some other stuff

Jake: God your memory sucks

You: Emma, come get your man he’s being mean to me again

Emma: Quit picking on her babe

You: Ok so I should get white wine, right? Pairs with fish?

Sam: Just get three fuckin bottles of wine, who cares

You: Ok I’m not coming if you guys are gonna continue to harass me

Sam: Too bad it’s your house and you have to be there anyway

You: I’ll lock myself in my room I don’t care

Danny: No Y/N, if they’re gonna be assholes they don’t have to come over. They can stay home and we can order pizza :)

Jake: Shut the fuck up Sam, I’m making the damned salmon and quinoa

Josh: What the fuck is quinoa

You shove your phone back in your pocket as you roll your eyes, the buzzing still consistent as you imagine they are still arguing with one another.

It's funny how much Danny has been defending you lately. He’s still his normal self, your very good friend who sometimes lets his sweet side get the better of him, but in the past couple of months, something has switched. The more the brothers pick on you, the more he stands up for you. It used to be the opposite, with him joining in on your playful dog-piling any chance he could get. But ever since a couple of months ago… ever since his last birthday…

Almost three years ago now, you and Danny had found yourselves wrapped up in each other’s arms in his bed after a drunken night that started out like any other, dinner, socializing, cards, and way too much to drink. It was his birthday party, and after everyone else had cleared out, you stayed up to clean up the multitude of plastic cups and empty bottles that were scattered around the house. You were both fairly drunk, and you knew if you got the majority of the party cleaned up that night, you wouldn’t have to bother with it all while being inevitably hungover the next morning.

“I’ll get out of your hair soon, Danny. I’m about to call an Uber to go stay with Emma.” You’d said as you dried the last of the dishes. He was sprawled out over on the loveseat, his shirt halfway unbuttoned and his mess of curls pulled up on top of his head. You’d always found him attractive, but you’d always been positive he was way out of your league. He’d never even given you a passing glance in that way. Except, that night, he looked exceptionally delicious… and your hazy, drunken mind undoubtedly had started to drift.

“What? Whyyyyy…? Don’t get an Uber, it’s too late,” he’d slurred as you walked over to sit on the ottoman his feet were rested on.

“Becauseeee… it’s your birthday and I don’t want to interrupt your time with whatever guest you might have coming over.” You remember the words felt heavy in your mouth, like it was strange that you had never talked about Danny’s personal life out loud before. Or yours, for that matter. Even after all the years of being friends and roommates, the two of you had always taken things as they’d come… watching as strangers made their way in and out of your bedrooms without a second question.

“Guest?” His face contorted. “I ‘ont have a guest coming over, Y/N…”

You’d let your mouth gape open and your hand clutch your chest in a display of over-dramatics. “Really? No one to give you a happy ending on your birthday?! You must be falling off the wagon, Wagner.”

What you do remember, though, was how hard he laughed at your half-assed attempt at a shitty joke.

“I swear! Just me, tonight.” It was at that very second that you remember becoming enamored with the way he licked his lips, how he clicked his tongue just a little, and how his eyes had fluttered closed under his lashes. He’d reached his hand out for you to grab, so you did.

“You gonna let me be lonely on my birthday, Y/N?” His warm fingers slowly worked their way to interlace with yours. This flirtatious tone wasn’t something you’d ever seen from him before, but for some reason, you found yourself tumbling for it. The deep rasp in his voice signaled something else, something so unexpected from him that you almost laughed it off as him kidding with you.

Your eyes had glanced around the room in confusion, and when you didn’t answer, you felt his foot kick into your leg, bringing your eyes back to look at him. His eyebrow was cocked in the air, as if he was waiting for an answer.

“You’re drunk, Danny… you don’t…” you’d anxiously answered, nodding your head side to side in disbelief.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t want me to… stay…” for some reason, he was making you nervous, and you were having trouble answering him. There was no way he wanted you to stay, of all people. No way in hell.

He’d laughed, sitting up on the couch and leaning over to take you in his arms in a giant bear hug. His face was buried into your shoulder, pulling you close in the warmest embrace you’d had in a while. It was strange feeling him this closely, and you shivered a little at his touch. You’d hugged him back, and then felt his lips drift close to your ear.

“I actually do… want you to stay here with me. In my room, in my bed, until tomorrow morning…” his voice crackled in your ear, the faint scent of spicy tequila still on his breath. It’d sent chills all over your body, and you had to admit, it was a strangely welcome feeling. Danny had never been this close to you, like this, ever before. His words had shocked your system, though, temporarily deeming you unable to respond.

So when he finally pulled back from the hug and confidently met your eyes again, you let yourself go with it. You were still fairly intoxicated, but this drop dead gorgeous friend of yours who had hardly ever given you the time of day was now throwing himself into your lap. Why turn him down? It was his birthday, after all.

“I never knew you were into me, Danny,” you’d cooed, watching as his fingers drifted across the back of your hand.

He sat back and dropped his head against the cushion again, cracking his fingers above his head. “I‘ve always been into you, Y/N. You’re gorgeous and fun, make me laugh… always been so good to me.”

You’d never admitted it, but of course you had pictured yourself with him a time or two. How could you not? Talented, handsome, kind and genuine…always looking for fun and always including you in his outlandish plans. But this…him laying it out on the line like this? It had your body beginning to physically yearn for him, completely out of nowhere.

“Stop playing, no you haven’t…” you’d argued, still in disbelief.

He held his hands up in surrender, cocking a sideways smile. “I swear. I just… never had the guts to say anything…”

You contemplated it all for a second, giving him a questioning look that begged for his reassurance.

“Why not, ya know? Not like we’re strangers…” you’d muttered through a sharp inhale.

You stood from the ottoman and slowly began stepping one foot in front of the other toward him, standing just between his legs. Your heart rate spiked as you answered him, your face flushing with the reality of what you were about to do. “Just a birthday hookup, huh? Just this one time?”

You let your hand brush against his thigh, your fingers lightly tickling until they reached his hip. It felt as though your hands were disconnected from your body, making their own decision to reach out and touch him as he sat reclined in front of you. Gently, his hands pulled around your waist, his thumbs digging into the flesh, strong and inviting.

“Just this one time…and that’s it.”

That night, the two of you stayed up until the winter sun was striking through the windows onto Danny’s white down comforter, and only then did the two of you finally drift off to a short but sweet slumber, until the alarm on his phone woke you both in a panic.

You’d fallen asleep upside-down on the bed, both of your heads at the foot of his king-size. His arm was draped across the small of your back, and his hair was still a messy bundle of curls at the back of his head.

“Fuck,” he’d muttered, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, it’s your alarm…”

Suddenly, now, in the light of day and the brightness of the room, the both of you became very conscious of your unclothed selves. You’d felt your cheeks blush at the sight of him, skin still dewy with the after-effects of sweat and sex. You didn’t miss his passing glance of you, too, still halfway wrapped up in his sheets as he maneuvered to the top of the bed to check the time.

“‘S only seven. Shit, I’ve got a headache…” he said, running a hand over his face.

“Me too,” you mumbled as he laid back down beside you. You pulled the covers up a bit more over your body, feeling extremely exposed in the bright sunlight. He propped himself up on his elbows, giving you a sweet and questioning look. “So, what are we supposed to do now?” you’d asked. “Cuddle?”

His laugh bounced off the walls, the glitter in his eye sending a wave of nerves through your body.

“We cuddled plenty last night, Y/N. We didn’t end up falling asleep until like, six,” he said, his voice groggy with sleep, or lack thereof.

“Fuck,” you breathed. “I’m sorry for keeping you up all night, I know you have things to do all day–” he cut you off with a kiss, his neck craning down to meet your lips with the sweetest surprise touch.

After a few fleeting seconds he pulled away, meeting your eyes as he spoke again. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Y/N. I asked you to stay in here. Asked you to keep me company on my birthday.” His hand reached up to pull the hair away from your cheek, bringing instant flashbacks of his hands on your face and shoulders last night as he pinned you down, fucking you into his mattress. “I was just completely unaware that both of us would last for that many hours…” he laughed, rolling away to cover his face.

“God, Danny, don’t embarrass me!” you laughed along with him.

“What is there to be embarrassed about?! Shit, I think we were great together,” he went on, holding his hand out for you to low-five.

You pursed your lips together, letting your hand clap onto his. “We were, weren’t we? Never would have thought.”

“Shit, I thought about it all the time…” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” you played, smacking him across the chest.

“I don’t know, you’re just a girl in my friend group, ya know? My roommate that helps me with rent…didn’t want to freak you out or something and make you hate me,” he explained.

You propped up on your elbow, shaking your head at him. “So we could have been doing this all along?”

“Oh, so you enjoyed yourself, then?” he countered, rolling you to lie on your back as he pulled himself over you again.

As you gazed up at him above you, small curly strands falling around his face and onto yours, you felt your face get hot, the same need you felt in your stomach for him last night coming back full force. A need you never thought you would have for him. A need that came back to you over and over again the night before, and left you both too exhausted to even bother to see the morning.

“Danny, we fucked like five times, of course I enjoyed myself,” you tried to keep the confidence heavy in your voice.

His nose scrunched up as he giggled, light and airy into the room. He laced his fingers with yours, lifting your hands together into the air and pulling them back down between you again. This time, you took the initiative and kissed him again, straining to keep things from moving as quickly as they had moved once you finally climbed into his lap on the couch last night.

When you finally separated, both of you refraining from letting it go any further, he disconnected your hands and clenched his jaw. “What do we do now?”

You didn’t want a relationship. And neither did he. That much was very known amongst your friend group, the both of you way too busy with your own lives to devote your time to another. You stood strong in that decision, and you knew for a fact that he would, too. So your mind began wandering, thinking of ways to end this entanglement you’d found yourselves in.

“What if we just… did this sometimes?” you proposed.

His brow furrowed. “I’m listening…”

“Our birthdays. Yours in December, and mine in June… it’s perfect. If the both of us are single on our birthday each year, we make a plan to not leave the other lonely…” The idea seemed preposterous, but at the same time, it didn't. A sure-fire way to make each of your birthdays interesting each year, and after the night you’d shared last night, you’re positive he wouldn’t turn the idea down.

His eyes dashed around the room as he considered it, taking a deep breath as he sat up in the bed. You caught a glance of his naked lower half, and your eyes rolled back on their own accord as you pictured his hips pounding into yours last night in the darkness of his bedroom. You sat up too, challenging his gaze.

He held his hand out again, this time for you to shake.

“Deal.”

—-

After deciding on the three bottles of wine, two white and a red, your mind begins wandering off by itself, causing you to hardly pay attention to the fact that you are singing the words to the song playing in your headphones out loud. You bite your lips, glancing around to see if anyone had seen you, or worse, heard your horribly flat singing voice. Luckily the aisle is clear, so you make a mad dash for the checkout line, ready to get out and head back home for dinner.

The drive is short, and when you finally arrive in the driveway, you find that you’re the last one to get there.

“Hello, hello,” you sing as you let yourself inside, kicking off your flip flops at the door. You set the bag of wine bottles on his island where Jake and Sam are busy preparing the meal.

“Thank god, the booze is here!” you hear Josh sing through the house as he makes his way over to stand beside you, opening the drawer of the island to search for Danny’s wine opener. You set all three bottles in line on the countertop in a nice straight line. “Shiraz, Y/N? That’s surely a bold choice…” Josh says, rolling his eyes.

“The label looked pretty, I don’t know!” you counter, shoving your shoulder into his. “It already smells really good, guys…” you say as you leave Josh to the wine, leaning over Jake’s shoulder as he stirs a pot at the stove. Suddenly Danny is leaning over his other side, sticking his finger in whatever sauce Jake is stirring.

“Aht, aht!” Jake swats his hand away just as Danny sticks his finger into the saucepan. “It’s not perfect yet…”

“Tastes good as hell to me,” Danny says, locking eyes with you as he pops his lips over his finger. You feel your insides churn.

“So Y/N, your birthday is next week, you guys planning your weird little bi-yearly birthday hookup still?” Josh nonchalantly asks as he yanks the cork from the bottle of red. Fortunately, it only took nearly two years for your friends to catch on to your and Danny’s little birthday agreement, when Jake inadvertently tried to surprise Danny with filling up his bathroom with balloons, only to find you bent over the bathroom sink.

“Christ, Josh, you have to put it like that?” Danny intervened. “Geez…”

“What?! That’s what it is, right?” Josh says as he pulls glasses down from the cabinet. You feel your face blush, even though it’s an open topic, at this point.

Danny pulls himself up to sit on the corner of his countertop. “No, we simply enjoy the other’s company on our birthdays because both of us suck at the dating playing field and always decide to indulge in one another’s availability, right Y/N?”

“That’s correct,” you confidently agree as you listen to the others groan.

Josh throws his head back and laughs loudly.

“What?” Danny yelps.

“You don’t think it’s funny that neither of you have ever had a significant other on your birthdays for the past what, three years now?” Josh says, eliciting silent looks of agreement from his brothers.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think it’s funny. We both suck at dating, you heard him. This is just…our way of making sure we aren’t alone twice a year.” The attempt at explaining yourselves is transparent, at this point. You know you’re lying to yourselves. It's obvious. Each and every time you pull yourself from Danny’s bed, or he from yours, you feel your bones begging you to stay. You like him, you’ll admit it, but only to yourself.

Twice a year isn’t enough, it was never enough. And you know for a fact that it will never be enough. On his birthday last year, you could have sworn you heard him say something close to the ‘L’ word as he came for the third time that night, his voice low and whining as you clenched around him, bringing him to his completely fucked-out state of mind. Each hookup had gotten hotter, heavier, and more serious. Each time was better than the last, and this last one was so intense, that you ended up staying in his room a second night, completely breaking your own rules.

As you slipped out of his bedroom that second morning, his honey brown eyes were begging you to stay, his lips touching his fingertips and blowing it your way as you quietly shut his bedroom door behind you.

That morning broke you. That morning your heart told you what it wanted.

That morning was the last time you denied it to yourself– you were absolutely head over heels for him. The yearning you’d felt had begun overtaking your whole self. And it wasn’t just yearning, it was something else. Something more powerful, something you couldn’t grasp the notion of, because you’d never felt it before. It’s now become something that makes your days drag by with the thought of him, not only sexually but personally, too. You feel wrapped up in his life, intertwined with his decisions, and some days you barely even have the time to give each other more than a goodmorning and goodnight. Sure, you still meet up every week with your group for dinner, but the subtle touches and the intense glances that are being shared almost on the daily now have become too much. You want to tell him. You need to tell him.

“Hm. Okay, so… what’s the plan this year?” Josh asks, obviously wanting to pry into your business, just like always.

“Josh, it’s none of your fucking business. Can you leave them alone for a second?” Sam says as he empties the box of rice into the insta-pot.

“No, it’s fine. I have big plans…” Danny bites his cheeks in as he denies himself a cheeky smile, swinging his bare feet as he sits on the counter. His eyes are boring into yours, and you swear just a simple word from him would have you on your knees for him, anymore.

“Big plans, huh?” you try to avoid his stare.

“Mmmmhm…” he says, grinning to himself. “Might have you running away and never coming back, though.”

You nearly choke on the sip of wine swirling in your mouth. Throughout the years, you will admit, your hookups had gotten more and more mischievous as time went on, both of you pushing each other’s boundaries just a little more each time. Nothing had ever gotten too crazy, but after his birthday last year, it was an unwritten understanding that not much was off the table, at all.

Sam plugs his ears with his fingers. “La la la I don’t wanna hear details!”

Jake pulls his wooden spoon from the sauce, turning to face all of you. “I do, I wanna hear it. Keep going. What’s the plan?”

“I’m not fuckin’ tellin’ you guys, it’ll ruin the surprise,” Danny argues as Josh hands him a glass of wine.

“Okay well you can tell me after her birthday then, right?” Jake pushes.

Emma steps in front of him, taking the now dripping spoon from his hand and running her tongue up the side to catch it from going into the floor. “Yeah Danny, maybe you should give him the rundown, maybe it’ll get his wheels turning,” she challenges, bouncing her eyebrows to Jake as she places the spoon back into the sauce. You laugh at her, feeling no embarrassment in the least.

“Get my wheels turning?! What is that supposed to mean?!” Jake yells, grabbing her waist from behind and spinning her around the kitchen.

You lock eyes with Danny again as he gives you a suspicious look of excitement, like he’s trying his hardest to keep his idea locked inside.

—---

After a rambunctious and wine-drunk dinner, everyone begins to file out of the house, stumbling away to either walk down the street to their respective homes, or catching a ride out with other friends to the nearest bar. You’re left behind again, like always, helping Danny with dishes and pouring out the remaining bits of wine left behind in the glasses.

“So, next week. The big 2-5. You still down for hanging out?” he asks as he dries the last dish, as if you would ever say no.

“Actually, I think I’m going to spend this year alone, ya know? Keep it low key, order some take-out and curl up on the couch,” you say with a cheeky tone.

His jaw hangs slack as he nearly drops the towel in his hand. “Really?”

You scoff. “No, Danny. Are you serious? We shook on it, and I don’t break my promises,” you laugh. You slowly walk toward him, the line between friend and more than a friend getting blurrier as time goes on. You want to put your hands on his bare chest, press yourself against his warm body, crane your neck up to meet for a sweet kiss, but you don’t. Because you can’t. Because he isn’t yours.

So instead you just simply stand before him, leaning a hand onto the countertop.

He lets out an audible sigh of relief. “Shew, good. I was about to be pissed at you, Y/N,” he breathes as he playfully shoves your shoulder. “Standing me up on your birthday…”

You smile as you realize your feet are carrying you closer to him on their own. You try to stop them, try to tell them no, but you can’t. Now you’re standing in front of him, your chests almost touching as you let your finger trail up his arm to his neck. “I’d never stand you up, Danny. Not in a million years,” you murmur.

You feel his body stiffen as you let your singular fingertip connect with his skin, your touch a featherlight drift. You glance down at his hand balanced on the cold marble countertop, his fingers tightening and loosening under the weight of his own want to touch you back. You hear him breathe in, fast and choppy as you begin to manipulate the line between friends and more, truly unable to keep it black and white no matter how much you try. Finally you let your eyes look into his, dark and brooding and looking a lot like they do after a few rounds of self-indulgence with you.

“Good,” he growls, “because I have a hell of a night planned for us.”

Us.

“Is that right?” you question, still trailing your fingertip across his arm and neck. You can see the chill bumps forming on his skin now, and you can tell he is physically restraining himself from succumbing to his mental constraints. You have to admit, you’re finding it very satisfying, watching his mind tell his body no. The muscles in his arms flex and tighten as you step closer, slowly tiptoeing to bring your faces close, your lips barely ghosting his.

“That’s very right,” he whispers, opening his mouth slightly as if he’s going to kiss you, but instead pulling back a little. The proximity is enough to make you feel soaked already, your entire body buzzing with fire for him.

“When do you want me ready?” you breathe, letting your lips graze across his, your finger now hooked behind his bicep. His hands are still gripping as he balances between the island and the countertop as he leans down to you, restraining himself still yet.

He’s inhaling and blowing air quickly through his nose, and you know for a fact that he’s holding himself back with everything in him. His jaw clenches hard as his eyes stay trained on your lips. “Want you right now, if I’m being honest…” His words make the butterflies in your stomach explode their wings.

You can taste the wine still heavy on his breath. “But it’s not my birthday, Danny…” you retort.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m getting to a point where I don’t care.”

You swallow it down. Maybe your thoughts are mutual… Your heart is absolutely racing, like it would do when you found out your elementary school crush liked you back. You don’t even know what to say, at this point, you want him so badly…your vision blurring with the mental snaps of the two of you wrapped up in one another again.

“You should care, we have an agreement,” you admit through your teeth, as badly as it hurts to say it. “We set our rules.”

He scoffs hard. “I don’t remember signing my name on any dotted line, Y/N,” he spurts back, making you feel that drop in your stomach again. He wants to break the rules, too.

You bite your lips in, deciding to cut your losses. You step back from him, disconnecting your finger from behind his arm, and stepping away. The flushed look on his pink cheeks is enough to make you want to run back into his arms, and the look on his face makes it seem as though he just lost the one thing in his life he never planned on having, anyway.

“I asked you a question, Danny. When do you want me ready?” you say strongly.

He closes his eyes and recenters, swallowing down his thoughts. “Uh, uhm. F-Friday. Around 8.” He finally cleans up his expression and meets you with a smile again. “Be ready to celebrate.”

—--

DANNY POV

Friday rolls around more quickly than you thought it would. The group had decided to rain-check family dinner this week, planning on celebrating Y/N’s birthday the following weekend when everyone would be in town at the same time.

Your palms had been sweaty all day just at the thought of what tonight would hold, and you realize that you hadn’t been this anxious for a night together with Y/N, yet. The nerves are positively eating you alive, but you shove them down, knowing that you shouldn’t be having them in the first place. She doesn’t feel for you the same way you feel for her, and she likely never will.

It’s heartbreaking and wasteful, really, knowing that your sexual chemistry with her is only put to good use twice a fucking year when it should be being shared with her whenever you wanted to show her how much you really care, but. Here you find yourself.

She’s taking up all the extra space in your mind these days. You feel like you’re floating on air each and every time the vision of her face pops into your mind, you feel like you can feel the blood in your veins rising to a hotter temperature than you’ve ever experienced, and you find yourself wanting to give her all the things she’s ever wanted, and more. Your friend, one of your best friends, you’d say, unknowingly spinning herself into your life in a way that you can’t even tell her about.

That last birthday you shared together, your twenty-fifth, wasn’t the same as the rest before it. Sure, fucking her was high on your list of excellent sexual experiences thus far, but that last time, shit. Had your head spinning for days after. Never had a woman gotten you more fucked up than she did after that night. Two nights, really. That was when you knew it was real. When you wanted to ask her to stay, don’t go… be with me here and don’t ever leave… But your pride got the best of you. So you let her walk out, taking every single last bit of hope you had to make her yours with her as she walked out your bedroom door.

Could she not see it? Did she not notice how horribly you want her, all the time? Surely she doesn’t think you’re just being nice when you do little things for her… offer to change the oil in her car, take her lunch to work, send her every single funny meme and video you have ever come across simply because you know they’ll make her laugh…

Apparently not. But you don’t want to push too hard, too soon, either. If it’s meant to happen, it will. Hell, you hadn’t even told Sam about these feelings you’d been having. No one knows. This is a secret you’d kept bottled up for months now.

You come back inside after a quick trip to the grocery store and gently place the items from your arms onto the island, making sure the champagne bottle doesn’t tip over and break. You stick the bottle into the fridge and remove everything else from the plastic bags before rushing into your bedroom to make sure it’s presentable.

While she was at work, you’d spent the majority of the day cleaning up the general guy-ness of your bedroom, putting on a fresh set of sheets and giving the bathroom a good wipe-down. You’d never cared this much, for what she thinks of your surroundings…

…But you want tonight to be special. You want this birthday to be her favorite one, yet. And you’re determined to do so. You’d placed various candles around the surfaces of your bedroom, trying to make it romantic, but not so much that it will make her think you’re trying too hard.

When you decide that your room is as neat as it’s going to get, you go back into the kitchen and tear into the small cardboard box that’s been hiding away on top of your refrigerator for almost a month now. You’d seen an ad for it while scrolling instagram or something, and you knew right then that you had to get it. Your birthdays spent with her were becoming more and more experimental, and the idea for this year had fallen right into your lap.

You rip the packing tape off the box, letting it fall to the wayside as you open the flaps, finding the perfectly wrapped 2 and 5 candles in all their glittering glory. Shiny, crimson red wax with metallic gold trimming, long wicks and a thickness that regular store-bought candles just don’t have. You smirk as you pull them from the packaging and lay them in front of her small cake- chocolate with white buttercream icing. Her favorite. A glance at the clock on the stove lets you know you have an hour until she gets home, so you scurry off to the shower to get a last-minute scrub before you inevitably hear her coming through the door.

—--

Your stomach nearly falls to the floor when you hear the front door unlatch, and you find her a tired and flustered mess after her long shift. You busy yourself on your laptop, trying your best to seem more involved with what you’re doing than watching her unload her things from her arms onto the table.

“Hey birthday girl,” you mutter without looking back at her. “How was your day?”

You feel her lean all her body weight across the back of the couch beside you. “Long,” she huffs, “but not bad.”

You find the confidence to turn your head to her, finding her resting her head into her palm as she eyes you. You have to reel it all back in as you feel her so closely in your presence again.

“Good,” you reply, keeping it short. “Not too tired to skip our date?”

She hums a sweet laugh. “No. Most definitely not.”

“Are we…leaving the house? I’m trying to decide what to wear…” she asks shyly.

You have to remind yourself that she’s your friend, there’s nothing to be scared of, you do this all the time…

“No, actually. We’re staying home,” you reply.

Home. Your home, with her.

“Eight o’clock?” she reiterates.

“Yep, on the dot,” you tease as she stands to make her way to her end of the house.

She sways down the hallway, tossing her jacket over her shoulder as she disappears into the shadows. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

—---

A few hours later, you’re leaned on the island swirling a lowball glass of tequila, waiting for her to emerge from her bedroom. You’d been standing patiently, fashionably early for your birthday date in the kitchen as you listened to the faint sounds of her music playing as she got ready.

Your nerves are already shot, the tequila doing little to assist in qualming the nervous anxiety swirling through you. So when you finally hear her bedroom door open and her steps coming down the hall, you have to tilt the rest back in hopes that it will hit you a little more quickly.

She’s dressed cute, but comfortable, and you can tell she did her hair that special way that you’d complimented a few weeks ago. She smells like sweet sugary flowers mixed with the woodsy smell of rain, and just her scent as she approached you was already driving you insane.

You meet her in the middle of the kitchen, grabbing her hand to twirl her around into your embrace. “Happy birthday, gorgeous,” you mutter, your face falling into her hair for a second.

Her arms lift around your neck, squeezing just a little as she places the sweetest kiss to your cheek. “Thank you, Danny.” You allow yourself to hold her for just a second, your right hand gripping the wrist of your left at the back of her waist.

“You hungry?” You ask as you pull away from her.

“Yeah, whatcha making?” she replies, taking a seat at the island.

You grab the box of the frozen pizza you’d previously thrown in the oven, displaying it for her.

“Oh my god, my favorite!” she squeals. “I’m so excited.”

You laugh as you fold the box up, cramming it into the trash can. “Knew you would be. It’s not a five-star birthday meal, but. Let’s be honest. I can’t cook for shit, and you love this pizza more than you love a lot of things…”

“No, you’re so right. I’ve actually been craving it for a while,” she giggles.

“Wait, I also gotttttt….” You make your way to the fridge, pulling out the bottle of champagne.

“Shit, pizza and champagne? You know exactly how to make a girl happy, Daniel.” She blushes a little, and you know you’re on the right track for the night.

“You gotta open it, though. It’s bad luck if someone else opens the champagne bottle on your birthday,” you lie, scooting the bottle to her across the countertop.

“You’re crazy. Give it,” she rolls her eyes as she takes the bottle, twisting the key seven times and removing the wire casing. She stands from her chair, gripping the bottle in both hands as she searches for somewhere to aim.

“At the wall! Just not toward a window!” you warn, closing one eye as she begins to push on the cork. Finally it pops off, flying toward the wall as the bubbly pours from the neck of the bottle. “Get it, Y/N, get it!”

She cups her lips over the overflowing bottle, slurping up as much as she can before it flows into the floor. The two of you laugh as you bring two glasses over, letting her pour them up. Just then the timer for the pizza goes off, and the sound of the beeps reminds you that time is ticking, making your nerves rush for the main event.

——-

After stuffing yourselves with pizza and downing the bottle of champagne, the two of you are piled up on the couch sharing a six pack of some crazy peach flavored beer she’d bought last week.

You’re seated on the couch as she reclines across it, her legs in your lap. You’d talked a lot tonight, like more than you maybe ever have before. Sure, you’d been friends for many years now, but majority of the time, you’re surrounded by the other guys always intervening on your conversations, or interrupting your discussions.

But after three hours of deep exchange, you swear you could talk to her until the end of time, and never get tired of it. She looks natural with her bare, sunkissed legs draped across your lap, and your hand that’s mindlessly drifting over her thigh and knee looks like it belongs there.

Her drunken laughter bounces off the walls and right into your chest, making your entire self beam with happiness and adoration for her. The way she takes up space in the home you share gives you an inexplicable feeling. Roommates doesn’t even begin to describe what you want to title your living situation with her.

Your faces are blotched red and tears are falling from your eyes as the two of you come down from a laughing fit, and a sweet recovery silence falls over the both of you. Her eyes are bloodshot from the alcohol, and her face is flushed from the belly laughs.

“You’re really pretty, Danny,” she flits, making you whip your head her way.

“What?” you ask, embarrassed.

“You’re pretty. Well, you’re handsome, of course, but. You’re also pretty,” she explains, her words making you feel shy.

“Oh, thank you, Y/N. Don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before…” you respond. Your hand grips into her thigh a little bit as your head falls back onto the couch cushion. You meet her eyes, the both of you staring at each other while everything else in the room disappears. You hold the gaze for a long while, each passing second making your breathing pick up. Fuck, she makes you nervous.

Finally, she stands, pushing her hair back behind her ear as she reaches for you to take her hand. “Take me to bed, Danny…” she whispers.

Okay.

You slowly stand, keeping her hand in yours as she pulls you into the center of the room. Like magnets, your bodies are pulled into one another, your hands finding both of hers as you turn to walk her backwards down the hall to your room. You move in slow motion as the two of you glide across the wooden floors, taking your sweet, special time.

You take her chin between your fingers, and push her hair back again before leaning down to press your lips to hers. It’s gentle and sweet and slow, her lips parting only just a little bit as you guide her down the long hallway. You allow yourself the indulgence of her lips, the feeling of her tongue gently swiping across yours, the flavor of everything that she is. It’s all perfect, she’s perfect.

Her hands finally find your face and hair, entangling themselves like they always do, pulling you further into her. For this only being the sixth time you’ve done this, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. It doesn’t make any sense that you waste your time thinking about it, instead of giving her the loving that she deserves.

But you plan on showing her tonight. You may not be able to tell her, but damned if you can’t try your best to show her.

“Wait, I almost forgot,” you pause as you approach your bedroom door. “I’ll be right back. Stay here,” you command, squeezing her shoulders. “No peeking,” you whisper as you watch her eyelids close.

You’d already strategically placed her cake on the table in your room, with two forks and no plates. But the last finishing touch is the sporadically placed candles. You grab your lighter from your nightstand and light them one by one, watching as the flickering flames cast a warm glow across your walls. Perfect. Lastly, you place the 2 and 5 candles in the center of the cake, but wait to light them.

You slip back out into the hall, finding her still standing with her eyes closed. You grab her hands and pull her to walk toward you. “Keep them closed.”

Her smile lights up your entire world. “What are we doing, Danny? I’m scared…”

“Don’t be scared, babe. S’just me…”

You pull her inside, instructing her to sit down on the bed as you grab the cake and lighter. You balance it in one hand and flick the lighter with the other, lighting the wicks of both the number candles.

“Open your eyes.”

Her eyes flick open, finding the room completely illuminated with orange glow. “Ah, Danny…” she gasps, glancing around the room, and finally to the cake in your hands in front of her.

“Hm hm hmm hm hmmm hmm…” you hum the Happy Birthday song, your voice a bit shaky and jittery with nerves. “Don’t forget to make a wish,” you say, watching as her eyes flick to yours, then back to the cake in your hands. She closes her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, and blowing out the flames of her 25.

“You wanna know what I wished for?” she asks.

You shake your head. “No. But I hope it comes true.”

You set the cake down on your nightstand and you sit back down beside her on your bed. You bring her in close again, letting your forehead balance on hers before you make contact. You swear to it, you could get lost in kissing her more easily than you could get lost in a foreign country. You’d kissed her a hundred times before, but lately…now…

Things move slowly, things move sweetly…normally the two of you waste no time in ripping one another’s clothes off, biting and scratching and devouring each other like you’re starved, but tonight feels like it deserves more attention than that. It deserves to be appreciated.

Your hands drift to the bottom hem of her cream-colored eyelet lace dress, your hand drifting up her thigh. You pull the dress as you go, revealing her thong hugging her hip. Your hand slips below the waistband, and you run your fingers along it and down the front pantyline, the backs of your knuckles skimming across her heat. She whines a little at the contact, and you feel your vision growing blurry.

You continue kissing her while slowly letting your hands explore her in a way you’ve never let them before, taking special care to pay attention to your every move. The kiss becomes more longing when you let a digit slip into her folds, feeling her wetness coating your finger for the first time in six months. Her hands grip onto your shoulders, pulling your upper body into her. You push her back to lay on the bed, never once disconnecting your mouths.

Her left knee is bent into the air while the other one lies flat, so you push it to the side a little as your hand still hides in her panties. Her hand is yanking at the back of your hair as your featherlight touch drifts up and down, finally landing on her sweet spot. She cries quietly into your mouth when you land on it just right, using your middle finger to swirl her wetness across it.

She sits up a little, reaching to your back to pull your cotton t-shirt over your head. You disconnect for just a second to help her, and toss it to the floor. “Mmm there you are,” she mumbles, her hands rushing across the skin of your chest and arms while you go back to work.

You feel her legs spread, giving you the ok to move further. You let your two middle fingers dip inside of her to the hilt, her muscles already tight and twisting around you. “Fuck baby, you’re tight…” you pull away long enough to say. With your words she tightens around you on purpose, clenching herself as you begin pumping your hand in and out of her. You start to wonder if you’re the only one she’s slept with since December. Not that it’s any of your business, but, lately you’d decided that your feelings for her had gathered so heavily in your chest that that six month gap would be worth it, if it meant she could be all yours.

You watch her face in awe, suddenly feeling no ounce of shyness in the least in watching her come undone around your hand. Her bottom lip bites into her mouth as her eyelids flutter open and shut, and the sounds that escape from her lips make you realize how beyond ready for her you are.

You continue pumping your fingers in and out of her, feeling her drip down onto the bed sheets below you. “You wanna let go like this for me, baby?” you ask, having trouble keeping your breaths even.

“No. Yes, but no…” she concedes. “Wanna… want you…”

You smirk. “Go ahead, Y/N, we’ve got all night. You know how we are...” You take the opportunity to twist your fingers inside of her, turning your arm so that your palm is now pressed against her heat instead of perpendicular with it. You lean down and lick a stripe up the side of her neck as you leave your fingers buried deep, stopping the pumping altogether and instead wiggling the tips of your fingers against the spot deep inside her.

“Fuck Danny,” she breathes. “Keep it there keep it there…” Her eyes squeeze shut as you watch her chase her high, her hand squeezing at your pec and gripping onto it with everything she has.

It’s impressive really, how much you’d learned her body after just being with her a handful of times over the course of three years, learning her ins and outs and what drives her crazy for you, and stowing them away at the back of your mind until the next birthday.

You make quick and heady work of brushing your fingers across that spot, pressing your palm against her clit and adding just the right amount of circular pressure in both places. Her legs fall open even further and her head tilts back, all of her muscles tightening as she cries out, giving you her first orgasm of the night. And you had barely even removed any clothing yet.

When she’s done, you gather up her wetness and pull it onto her stomach under her dress, letting your middle finger massage it onto her skin. “Fuck…” she breathes out, wiping the hair from her face. “That didn’t take me long,” she laughs.

“No, it didn’t,” you agree, sitting up on the bed. “Must be excited to see me.”

She sits up and stands from the bed, pulling her flowy cream dress up over her hips and hiking one knee after the other across either side of you. You lean back away from her straddle, resting your arms back on the bed as you get a good look at her, already glowy. She reaches up and clasps her hands behind your neck. “Very excited to see you,” she admits shyly.

“Hm, really? You see me every day,” you poke, trying to feel out her level.

“Yeah but we can’t do this on random Tuesday afternoons, or in front of our friends, now, can we?” she presses, letting her hips fall onto your lap. You reach one finger to her chest and trail it up to under her chin, pulling her into you. Your heart begins pounding as you fall into a ravenous kiss again, this time bringing more heat than you even began to touch on a few minutes ago. Your hands fall to her waist, pulling her down onto you as she moves her knees to sit closer, pressing your chests together. Your hands travel across her thighs and to her waist, then finally around to grip her ass.

Though your tongue is burying itself deeply into her mouth, you’re metaphorically biting it. You want to tell her that yes, you do want to move things in another direction with her, you do want to hold her hand in front of your friends, you do want them to know how crazy you actually are for her. So in an act of boldness, you try.

“Maybe not in this regard, but they probably wouldn’t mind a little PDA…”

She giggles as she wraps her hands in your hair. “PDA? Like flirting with each other? In front of them?”

“Yeah, just like that. They already know we sleep together sometimes, they have to know we, ya know… are allowed to let it flow into days that aren’t our birthdays…” you swallow the words down, feeling so anxious that she may take them the wrong way, or hate them altogether.

“You think they’d make fun of us?” she asks, her mouth kissing behind your ear.

“Oh yeah, they would. But, I’d be there to slap the fuck out of them if they embarrass you,” you respond, squeezing your hands into her hips.

Her tongue is tickling the sensitive skin around your ear as she lays tiny pecks near your hairline. “I think I’d be okay with a little flirting… sometimes it almost happens naturally, anyway,” she says, making your heart rate soar again.

“Really?”

She nods, coming up to face you now, her cheeks tinted the palest pink. “Mmhm, sometimes I have to stop myself from touching you in front of them. You know, just innocently.”

You swallow hard, knowing the exact feeling all too well. When you’re surrounded by your friends making dinner or whatever it may be, you’ve found yourself having to stop your hand from grazing across her lower back as you walk by, from leaning down to kiss her cheek, anything, all the time. She’s right, it does feel natural to want to do that.

“I do, too, actually,” you admit. “You… It feels normal to me. Just a reflex.” You buck your hips up into her as you speak, your body begging you for some contact.

The whimper that leaves her chest ignites that deep carnal instinct inside you, wanting, needing to connect yourself with her again. You gather the soft fabric of her dress in your hands, signaling to her that you want to pull it off. She lifts her arms above her head, allowing you easy access to tear it all the way off of her. As her hair cascades back down over her shoulders you realize that her dress didn’t require a bra. So, you’re left staring at her left only in her thong, her breasts sitting more perfectly than you remember them. “You’re so gorgeous, Y/N, I swear…” you grit, raking over her body with your eyes.

She hops off of your lap, motioning with one finger for you to stand. When you follow her order, she falls to her knees, working her fingers to unbutton your jeans. “Fuck, wait,” you say. Her eyes glance up at you through her eyelashes. “Pull your hair back.”

She does as you say, pulling her hair into a ponytail at her neck while you undo your jeans with one swift movement. She gets done with her hair quickly, swatting your hand away and pulling your zipper down. “Take them all the way off, Danny,” she demands, and the backs of your knees hit the mattress as you lean over, kicking them and your underwear off one leg at a time. You kick them to the side as she walks on her knees closer to you, taking your already over-hard dick in her right hand, licking her lips just a little before she swirls her tongue around the tip. Everything had just happened really fast, her urgency making your blood pump. Her tongue flattened out against you, and she pressed you all the way to the back of her throat, almost making your knees buckle under you.

She grabs your hand, pulling it toward the back of her head. You take the signal and wrap your hand around her hair just as her lips meet your base, and you hold her there, feeling the saliva already beginning to pool in her mouth. “God damnit, baby, fuck you’re so good at this. Don’t even need my help…” You loosen your grip and allow her to drag her lips across your shaft, adding hard suction as she slowly ascends off.

“Want your help, though. Do it…” she motions, so you do. You use her ponytail to guide her up and down you, forcefully pushing and pulling on her head just like she likes it. The first time you did this, you were a bit thrown off, as you’ve always just let whoever was pleasing you do whatever they felt. But she likes it when you tell her when and where you want her to be.

The candles are physically heating up the air in the room, providing a heat that feels like a heavy blanket on your skin. Your mind flashes with remembering the special candles, and you feel a spark of excited electricity shoot through your body. The baby hairs around her face are beginning to stick to her forehead as her eyes glance up to look at you, doelike and pleading.

She hums onto your dick as you squeeze her cheeks together, taking a hard hold on her jawline as your opposite hand guides her motions. Your head falls back as you feel the knot tightening in your stomach, but you can’t let go just yet. Her tongue swirls around your tip and the sounds that her mouth is making sound downright ruthless, spurring on your albeit degraded current situation.

She moans onto you as her lips pull on and off, all by the force of your hand. You pull her hair particularly roughly, watching as the string of saliva connects her mouth to you, still. You take the second to sit down on the bed, physically unable to stand for another second without losing all will to hold yourself up. She moves in closer and digs her nails into the soft skin between your legs, sending a shake through your body. “Mother fucker baby, keep going with that…” you say, biting your bottom lip as you watch her. She scratches at your skin a few more times before you finally decide you can’t take it anymore, pulling and pushing on her head at a quicker pace.

“Mhmm…” she moans as she nods her head ‘yes’, and you feel the deep rumble in your stomach, telling you that you’re not far. She kisses her lips down tightly on you this time, flicking her tongue in all the right places as you feel her throat tightening around you.

“So fuckin’ deep baby, shit…” you say as your hips jut forward a few times, your dick hitting the back of her throat. Suddenly you feel your world falling apart as you let go into her, the dim orange light of the room turning into flashes of black and white as you send your streams down her throat. You wrap her hair around your hand as you hold her just where you want her, pulling her closely into you as you hiss through your release.

When you finally take a breath and your vision unblurs, you watch as she wipes her chin with the back of her hand, standing to her feet again and joining you on the bed, a completely smug and satisfied look on her face.

“The fuck are you grinning about, huh?” you ask, pulling her in toward you again.

“Nothin’, I just really love being the one to make you make noises like that,” she says, biting back another smile.

“Well, you’ve got me figured out, seriously,” you compliment her, and it was the absolute truth.

She shrugs you off. “Eh, I’m out of practice, really.”

Oh?

“No way, you’re like… well seasoned,” you kid.

“You dick!” she yells, stifling a laugh. “I haven’t even done that in six months.” You can tell she regretted saying it as soon as she did, suddenly avoiding your eyes and pulling one of your pillows up to cover her chest.

“...You’re kidding,” you breathe, truly in disbelief.

She shakes her head. “Lame, huh?”

“N-no, not lame. I–You haven’t, since…?” you stammer.

“Nope. Since your birthday. Go ahead, laugh at me all you want,” she says, motioning with her hand.

Her words hit you right in the gut. She hadn’t been with anyone since you…

“I’m not gonna laugh at you, Y/N. I… I actually haven’t been with anyone else, either.”

Her eyes meet yours in disbelief. “Really?”

You nod. “Not this time around.”

She sits for just a second, hugging the pillow to her. “Why not?”

You shrug, the nerves bubbling in your stomach. “I dunno, no one’s really…struck my interest. Not enough to bring back home, anyway.”

She pulls one shoulder up toward her ear. “Yeah, mine neither. I’ve…tried, ya know, but.” She swallows. “My birthday is my favorite holiday for a reason.”

You can’t stop the joy that rises in your chest, your extremities tingling and your heart beating in your ears as she basically admits she doesn’t enjoy anyone but you. She hasn’t made it work with anyone else in six months.

“Six months is a long time to wait, Y/N,” you mutter quietly.

She pulls the pillow down, moving closer to you on the bed. “Not when what you’re waiting for is all you can ever think about.”

Fuck… it feels like your head is going to float right off of your shoulders out of a pure high at her admission. Your chest gets warm and your mouth goes dry, and you swear if you were looking in the mirror, there would be stars in your eyes.

She feels the same.

After a few seconds of disbelief, you find the nerve to answer her, a hardly audible whisper as you bring your face close to hers. “I think I’d wait for you for fifty years, if you wanted me to…”

Her hand cups your jawline as she grits her teeth, pulling you into her again. Your mouth wants to devour her all over again, but instead you take note of the tender moment, laying a sweet kiss to her lips that has a promise behind it.

Her eyebrows furrow together when you pull away, a look you’re familiar with but also one that told you she’s confused. She opens her mouth to speak, probably to ask you if what you’d just said is true. But nothing comes out. She just stares at you in disbelief.

Your hand finds her hip as you yank her body in with a little force, almost nose to nose now.

“Yeah, you heard me right. I’d wait for you, I will wait for you, if that’s what you want me to do…” you say, feeling so anxious for the outcome of this conversation you could almost be sick. It’s either going to end really really well, or so badly that you’d end up alone in bed tonight. But the risk outweighs the outcome, and you are ready and prepared to take it, whatever it might be.

She swallows hard as you watch her eyes become glazed. Her hands are balancing around your neck and across your shoulders, and you can feel the heat rising in her palms as her digits nervously fidget. It feels like a hundred years pass in the time you wait for her to respond, and you contemplate taking it all back. Making up an excuse, saying just kidding, we’re just friends… But the panic stops as soon as she finds her words.

She shakes her head. “Wait for me… you’d, you wanna actually…?”

“Be with you more than just twice a year? Yeah, Y/N, I really would. You– you kinda have held a really special place for a long, long time now.” You swallow again, letting the words you’ve kept pent up for so long finally flow, but still feeling a little embarrassed by the admission. “I just never said anything, ya know, because of our arrangement. It worked so well for us but. I… I don’t know. It feels like more to me, lately.”

She nods hard again, a tiny smile crossing her lips as her eyes stay trained on yours. But she stays quiet.

“Can you say something, Y/N?” you ask through a huffed laugh.

“It is more, Danny. It’s been more to me for a long time, too. You take up more space in my mind than I’d like to admit,” she says, now avoiding eye contact.

Wow… finally. Finally, there it is.

“Why do we both deny it?” you whisper.

She shrugs, massaging the back of your neck. “I don’t know. But I don’t really want to anymore.”

You wrap your arm around her torso, pulling her weight from underneath her as you lay her flat on her back.

“Then we don’t,” you say as you tower over her, the candle light flickering in her eyes and off of her skin. Her body is beautiful, there’s no denying that, but what has always gotten you is how she carries herself…how her body language is always reflective of exactly what she’s feeling in the moment. And right now, as her midsection arches up into you begging you to touch her again, you have no other thoughts than to appease her.

Your mouth travels down her chest and across her belly, leaving long, lingering kisses across her body. As you get closer and closer to her heat, you move to kneel on the floor just as she had for you earlier, slipping your hands underneath her to pull her to the edge. Even in all your wild, drunken sexual adventures with her, for some reason, you’d never concentrated on this. You’d never gone down on her. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, as it was one of your favorite activities, but the immediate pull to one another on these nights always ended up with getting straight to the good part. Neither of you really ever left time for the embellishments.

She perks up onto her elbows as she gazes at your face between her legs. “Danny…”

“Let me show you what I mean, baby,” you more ask than say, running your tongue down the inside of her thigh. Her body stiffens as she still gives you that look of hesitation. Your tongue drifts over her opening as you tease her, barely ghosting overtop of everywhere but her sweet spot. She shudders again. “Unless you don’t want me to…”

“No! No I want you to. Please. You’ve just…” she finally relaxes her head back down.

“I know I haven’t. And that’s on me. But I wanna show you that I’ve been thinking about this, doing just this since the last time I had you…” you explain, finally delving your tongue deeply into her. Her reaction is immediate, her back arching up again as her hands find your hair. The sounds she makes make you strain to keep it together, and the taste of her finally on your tongue is enough to make you want to stop altogether, and get to the good part, but you savor this instead, realizing you’ve wanted her like this for so long.

You squeeze your lips over her, inching your tongue languidly inside of her and moving it back up to circle her clit. When you finally find it, she squeals, exhaling as her hands rip into your scalp. You glance to the head of the bed, pulling down a pillow and positioning it underneath her back to get a better angle. Your hands snake under her again, squeezing her ass as you pull her in.

“Fuck Danny, why did you hold back on this for so long?” she asks through a pant, her legs opening and closing over your ears. “Shit…” You realize that you don’t really have an answer.

She’s writhing and fighting herself, and you can tell she’s nearing the peak, until she backs off again, likely wanting to make this last. She hums and purrs as you work over her clit, using your tongue and lips to kiss every single drenched inch of her. You feel like you can’t get enough, until you remember. Her birthday gift.

You slow things down, pulling away a bit until you see the disgruntled look on her face at the disconnect. “No, don’t stop… don’t go..” she begs. Her expression is desperate, and you want nothing more than to feel her lose herself at the mercy of your mouth. So you dive back in, this time with a purpose.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, baby,” you manage through kneads of your tongue against her. You bring your arm up between the two of you, using your elbow and hand to press her legs apart while your free hand’s two middle digits enter her again. Your tongue never lets up, circling and swirling furiously as her muscles tense. You take that as your cue to work harder, feeling her clenching around your hand already. You pump in and out of her again, making sure your tongue is pointed exactly where she needs it.

“Fuck, Danny baby… yes…” she breathes, and the pet name sends a shockwave straight to your dick, hearing her utter your name followed by a word so personal. You cup your lips over her clit, using a quick and harsh suction motion as you flick your tongue across it.

When she finally lets go, her cries and slurs of curses echo through your room, the most beautiful sound you’re sure you’ve ever heard. Her hands stay tangled in your locks, forcing your face into her as close as you can get. You savor it all, the sight, the sound, the taste… you wonder why you ever denied yourselves this piece of the puzzle after all this time, but then again, maybe saving something this intimate for right now is exactly what was supposed to happen.

Her body jolts and shakes as she lets the pleasure wrack through her, and you devour every last bit. You crawl up her once she opens her eyes again, her hand freeing from your hair and back down to your face, pulling across your cheeks and mouth as she wipes her wetness from you. Her voice is strained as she finally speaks. “Fuck that was…”

“Fucking delicious,” you finish, pressing your lips to hers again, making her nod into you.

“Yeah, fucking delicious,” she agrees, wrapping her legs around you and using the leverage to pull you onto her. If you weren’t rock hard before, you surely are now after witnessing her falling apart for you like that. You can tell she’s already ready to get things going again, but you stop her, pulling away like you had done before. You stand from the bed, watching that same look of disappointment come across her features.

“Don’t look at me like that, just wanna give you your birthday gift,” you say, walking around the bed to your nightstand. You grab the cake and place it carefully into your lap, grabbing the lighter again as she comes and sits beside you.

“I already blew out my candles, Danny,” she says, balancing her chin on your shoulder.

“You did, but I didn’t tell you that these are special candles. Not meant to be blown out,” you explain, flicking the lighter to life and igniting them both.

“Not meant to be blown out? Why–”

“Because they’re really an oil,” you say, putting the lighter down and grabbing the plastic tray under the cake again, holding it up between you. “These are candles specially made for us to let melt and drip onto each other. Not like regular wax, these don’t burn as hot. Once they start to melt a little, they turn into a body oil.”

“Like a massage oil?” she asks, and you nod.

“Mmhm, see, you can already smell the lavender and bergamot. They had birthday cake scented, but. I thought that might be overkill,” you smirk. Her eyes drift down to the candles with intrigue, and she bites her bottom lip in. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But, I’ve heard good things…”

She picks up one of the candles from the cake, carefully licking the icing off the bottom. She holds her opposite hand out palm down, and lets the melty wax oil drip down onto the back of her hand, a few droplets of dark red liquid dripping down between her fingers.

“Doesn’t burn at all,” she says, reaching to grab the cake from you to set on the table again. She then takes your hand, letting the wax drip down onto your hand, too.

The sensation is more of an extremely warm electrical pulse than the burn you’d expect, and it quickly dulls as the oil cools. It doesn’t harden like normal wax, instead it just turns into a thick oil. You take your other finger and rub it across your skin, feeling the softness of the lotion-like liquid sink into your skin. “Wow, no, it feels good,” you agree.

“Lay back,” you suggest, and she does, handing the candle off to you.

You question the situation, not knowing exactly where to drip the oil to make her feel the best. You assume maybe her chest and stomach, maybe even down her legs, if she feels up to it. You hold the candle directly above her sternum, raising your eyebrows in final question before you let it drip.

“Yeah, go ahead,” she says, her hand landing on your knee.

The red liquid finally falls through the air, a singular drop that lands and splatters across her chest. Her mouth opens just a little, but then her surprise quickly turns into a devious smirk. “Feel good?” you ask.

“Aha, yeah, actually. It burns pretty bad for a split second but it goes away…shit, do more,” she pleads.

You go along with her request, drizzling tiny drops between her breasts and down her stomach, nearly completely coating her in the oily liquid.

“You sure you like it?” you ask as you watch her face repeatedly turn from a surprised grimace into a devilish look of satisfaction. Thankfully, that second look, you’re more than familiar with.

“Yessss…” she hisses as another drop falls onto her skin. “I feel so…” her mouth lies open as you continue letting the oil drip and pool, the floral scent filling your nostrils.

“So what?” you ask.

Her eyes bore into yours as she bites her lips between her teeth, her hand still gripping hard into your leg muscle. “I like the pain. It’s like… I don’t know how to explain it…” she breathes. “Like a sensation I don’t want to ever end.”

You take your free hand and gently massage it in, taking time to work over her nipples and stomach. “God, that feels so good…” she whispers, her hand now digging into the muscle of your thigh. You place the candle back on the cake, turning to pay special attention to rubbing your hands over her muscles.

The heady scent of the oils mixed with the residual alcohol still flowing through your system brings a whole new dizziness to the atmosphere, and you feel as though the whole situation is only becoming heavier. You reach over to your phone sitting on the night stand, and flip your music to some psychedelic playlist. The distorted guitar and scratchy bass sounds bring you both to a new plane, and you take the moment to recognize the woman you have your hands on, and how she feels underneath them.

Her eyes flutter open and closed as your hands drift, massaging the soft oils across the mountains and valleys of her body. “You want me to do you?” she asks, eyes flicking back to the candle.

You shake your head. “No, shh. It’s your birthday, just relax.”

She smiles a little as she gets comfortable again, moving her body a little closer to yours on the bed. Your hands travel up her shoulders and neck, slowly kneading the tense muscles. Then you move on to her hips and waist, squeezing at the thickness of her. You feel yourself getting turned on all over again just by touching her this way. You watch as her hands drift across the tops of her legs, gripping at her own thighs. The visual is almost too much, watching as her fingertips pull at her skin. You reach to grab the still-lit candle, adjusting your body to sit beside her legs.

“‘M gonna try your legs, that okay?” you ask.

“Yeah, go ahead…” she mumbles, her eyes still rolling around behind her eyelids. You move between her legs and let the wax drip onto her inner thighs, not really caring if any lands on your comforter. “Ffff…” she hisses, biting onto her bottom lip. Her face contorts from pain to pleasure as the oil cools, and you replace the candle, making your way back to massaging her.

Your hands nearly cover the entirety of her upper thighs, your fingertips digging into the skin just as hers had done a second ago. You push the oil all around, paying special attention to start at her knees, and slowly work your way up. You have half a mind to lick into her again, seeing it now from this view, but you stop yourself. Your thumbs rub into the creases where her legs meet her heat, and she practically moans out at your touch.

“You’re being such a fuckin’ tease, Daniel,” she says, her hands cupping her breasts.

“Mmm, I don’t think you understand how hard it is to stop myself right now…” you huff.

She bites her lips again and shakes her head side to side, obviously feeling the same emotions as you. This doesn’t feel like it normally does, and you feel more anxiety than ever to satisfy her. You watch as she reaches her hands for you, signaling for you to get things going.

“Don’t stop yourself then,” she stutters, her voice almost shuddering. Her hand grips into your hair again and pulls you up, your hands crawling up either side of her as her nails claw and pull at your back.

Suddenly your mind finds itself again as you remember to grab protection. You balance your forehead on her sternum, both of you already panting and sweaty as you pull yourself away to reach for your bedside drawer.

“No, just—it’s fine,” she says, grabbing onto your arm.

You meet her with a puzzled look, not quite understanding that she’s changing her mind on a whim. This is one part of your agreement that you both have always stuck to.

“What? I’m—“

“Just…it’s fine. Don’t get it,” she says, giving you a look that could kill. “It’s been six months…right…”

You think it over, rolling the thought over and over in your mind. “You sure?”

She nods, “Yeah, yeah I’m sure. I’m…we’re good. I promise.”

You feel your heart growing in your chest, feeling a new wave of anxiousness and…something else bubbling up. It’s almost blinding you to even think about what’s about to take place, this already feels so different than before.

The slick of the oil across your chests make your bodies slide against one another as you line yourself up, both hands on either side of her head. Her hands gently drift across your hips, a devilish smirk sneaking across her lips.

“Gonna feel you for real for the first time…” she says gently, looking more excited than you’d seen her in ages.

“Yeah, no pressure,” you answer, pressing yourself through her folds. The sensation alone is making you quake, feeling her against you without a barrier.

“What, you nervous or something?” She asks, digging her nails into your scalp.

You clench your jaw, feeling the tip enter her just a little bit. “Kinda.”

“Daniel…shut up. No you’re not.”

“I swear,” you reply, pressing in just a little more. “Different now, like this.” You feel your heart beating from your ribcage.

Her hands grip behind you, pulling you in towards her, but you hold back. “S’okay, just me… please…” Her legs lift and her ankles cross at your lower back.

You push forward, telling yourself it’s okay to fill her all the way to the hilt. It’s now or never, and you’ve waited so long for this, wanted her for real for so long. You make sure to watch her face as you bottom out, taking in every single detail that you can.

HER POV

It’s almost dreamlike…

The dim and comforting glow of the room, the sweet scented oil that’s relaxed your muscles, the dying feeling of excitement from the gift Danny had gotten you…

But mostly, the feeling of his body towering over you and buried as deeply as he can get, finally without the use of protection.

You’d been wanting Danny for real for longer than you’d like to admit, now, and now that it’s finally happening, it’s almost as if you couldn’t have dreamt it up any better. Of course he feels nervous…you do too. Something in the air has shifted, and it’s not just because you both had finally admitted to wanting more than your predisposed agreement.

“Fuck, Danny…” you can’t help but yelp in a pitiful high-pitched squeal. Feels just like you always thought, but somehow better.

Much, much better.

He begins to pick up a pace after you lock your ankles against him harder, forcing his hips to find a rhythm. “You good?” he asks, almost shyly.

“Yeah, better than good, shit…”

His left hand grips your jaw with a little force before he brings his lips to yours in a heated mess. His thrusts are working in perfect time, hitting you in just the right spot to tighten the knot deep inside you already.

“You feel so perfect baby…god, never thought I’d have you like this…” his lips are hot against your skin as he speaks, his teeth nipping at your sensitive spots every few seconds.

“Leave a mark, baby… gimmie a reminder…” you breathe into his ear, making the light nips on your chest switch into slightly painful lovebites that you’re positive you’ll be able to see turn into bright red marks tomorrow. He growls into your skin as his teeth sink in just enough to make you squirm beneath him.

Though the room is flickering with a tangerine glow, the multicolored vibrance of the light flashing behind your eyes brings a whole new depth to what you’re experiencing, an overwhelming feeling of unwarranted pleasure that is undoubtedly ripping you apart at the seams. He’s all you’ve ever wanted, better than anything you’ve ever felt, and he’s been living under the same roof as your best friend for way too long.

You can tell he’s getting closer by the tumbling of his thrusts, but you swear you never want it to end. The euphoria taking over your mind is making you dizzy.

Suddenly he slows down a little bit, rolling himself to the bed but keeping himself inside as he plucks you to straddle his lap. Your hands find his pecs as you begin swirling your hips, feeling him at a completely different angle, now. His curls are laid out behind him on the white blankets, and his chest is gleaming from the oils.

You begin bouncing on him, his hands gripping into the thick muscle of your thighs as you grind on him. His head leans back, his jaw moving between hanging open and clenching tightly. “Y/N, shit…I’m not gonna be…”

You can feel the twist in your stomach, the deep tightening letting you know that you are close, too. You lean down and press a slow and needing kiss to his lips, showing him all the emotion that’s currently coursing through your body in the act. “Me too baby, just do it. Want to feel you…” you stammer through the ravaging feeling of your impending orgasm. You squeeze him hard, sending you both over the edge, tumbling down together in a flustered mess of echoed praises for one another.

He stays buried inside you for just a few seconds as you both come down, neither of you wanting to be the first to speak when you finally catch your breath. After a minute of silence, you let yourself come out of the cloudy bliss, sliding yourself up and off of him.

As soon as your body hits the bed beside him, he’s craning over you again, gathering you up into his arms into the most loving embrace you’d felt from him yet.

“Every six months isn’t gonna work for me anymore, Y/N…” he admits, fully submitting himself with an honest look in his eye. “I just…”

“Me neither, Danny. It’s not enough. Won’t ever be enough,” you admit, taking his face in your hands. And it was true, after experiencing him tonight in the way that you did, there was no way you’d ever be able to wait for him again. There’s too much emotion involved that you’ve both been hiding for too long. Too much still yet to explore.

“Stay, please? And not just for tonight,” he whispers, his thumb gliding across your cheek.

You nod. You know there’s nothing on this earth you want more than to wake up every day next to him…the friend who has always been just a little bit more.

“Okay,” you concede, sliding your body into his.

“Okay? Yeah?” He asks with an excited lilt.

“Yes. I’m not going anywhere,” you respond. “Couldn’t leave you if I wanted to...”

The low chuckle that rumbles through his chest and onto your cheek pressed against it feels so longingly familiar that you wonder why you ever thought it wouldn’t work out to begin with. “What took you so long?” he asks, wrapping and squeezing you hard.

“Could ask you the same…” you laugh into his chest.

You fall asleep with him that night a different woman than the one you were when you walked into his room, and not just because you’re a year older, now. You’d finally gotten everything you’d ever wanted.

Danny nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, sleep already lacing his voice. A soft feeling of comfort washes over you as you realize how safe and protected you feel in his arms, and how you aren’t too shy to admit that this feels more right than you could have ever anticipated.

Now you won’t have to wait six months to share your love with him again. You’ll be able to share it with him tomorrow, over coffee in the kitchen.

He presses a sweet kiss to your temple as you let the heaviness of sleep overtake you, already falling into a dazed place of complete contentment.

“Happy birthday, baby.”

Taglist:

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mimiyewaffles · 5 months

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A FEW INTERESTING THINGS

I guess I need help

So if y'all dont know, I'm trying to revise my boyfriend's d3ath.

It's been two months since I have been affirming and a few days since I got into the concept of void. Now, I'm trying to get into the void.

I've noticed a few crazy things, that I would love to share.

I've always affirmed that “everyone will forget about my boyfriend's demise because it was just my nightmare and no such thing ever happened. He's all alive and healthy” So I guess my affirmations are kinda playing out.

When I got to know about his demise, I sent him like 100 texts that day, I was so emotional and poured down everything to him. He not only is my boyfriend, but also is my best friend. The bestest friend ever and it was the worst day of my life. I was never ready to lose him.

I sent those 100 texts to him on Snapchat and obviously, my texts were just delivered. Nobody read them because that "nobody" Was long gone. I'm talking about feb, 2024. So I checked his snapchat after a few days of emotional ranting, and those texts didn't show up. I thought it might be a glitch and now after like 3 months, I went back to check on him because I missed him and guess what? ALL OF THOSE TEXTS ARE GONE!

Now idk if I'm tweaking but wtf? Snapchat has this feature where messages get deleted after 24 hours of being seen. But nobody saw my messages to begin with, where are those texts????

Like... All the snaps, that were sent before those texts and even after those texts are still in delivered, not seen.

Can anyone tell me if this is a glitch? This couldn't be, right? It's been 3 months to that incident, if it were glitch, it would have been fixed by now but idk-

My bf would post about his travelling and stuffs in Instagram reels and I often visit his account to look at him all alive once again and one day, I noticed one of his reels cover has changed 💀 and I even showed it to my sister and friend and they were shocked too. I thought it might be a glitch too. But it stayed like that for 3 days and then switched back to what it was before.

This might be a glitch idk honestly but my friend said it might be a "timeline/dimensions overlapping"

Two of my close friends are really logical minded and I never told them about my manifestation/shifting to a reality where my bf never got into an accident, because they wouldn't believe me. They don't even believe in multiple realities... So, not worth it.

A week ago, I texted one of these friends, saying that I feel like my bf is alive (emotional ranting) and all she told me was to hold up and move on, I'm thinking way too much 😮‍💨

And that's that. We didn't talk much about it.

After a few days of that, she texted me herself telling me that she feels the same. She feels as if my bf is alive too and maybe faking a death. We didn't get into the conclusion but yeah, we are still in doubt.

Also I would daydream about meeting my bf once again and i would make infinite possibilities to proof my reasoning mind that he's alive. So one of my imagination was my friend texting my bf's brother (they have nothing in common, they don't even know each other yet I imagined them talking) and his brother would say that my boyfriend is actually alive. And that scene exactly happened, except for the alive part. my friend talked to his brother to get his "last" Pics and guess what? They don't have that. Which is super weird because that accident just happened this year and those photos are gone. I texted one of his other brother who always replies to my texts and always give me updates about how their family is grieving but when I asked about pics, he left me on seen— again very weird.

Moreover, all of them (his family members) have moved on completely. They are enjoying and travelling. Idk how but like in a month of my bf's demise, they started partying a stuff which is super weird to me.

.....

I guess my affirmations are kinda becoming true. My 3D is maybe conforming slowly (?) Idk 😭

Lemme know what y'all think. Any tips on revising such thing would be appreciated. Thanks for reading 🎐

I'm sorry if I don't make any sense, I'm probably being delusional. Sorry for the rant 🥲🤌

#law of assumption #revision #loa #loassumption #loa success #loassblog #revising death #death revision #loa blog #manifesation #manifesting #void state #the void #eiypo #loablr #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting community #shifters

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mirai-e-jump · 1 year

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Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger Character Book: We're KING!!!!!! Main Cast Member Interviews (translations below, LONG POST)

Taisei Sakai (Gira Husty) Interview

-Have a backbone when facing as Gira-

"When you were first accepted for the role, what did the Director and Producer tell you about Gira's character?"

Sakai: When all the cast members got together for the first time, we were given all our materials, and I spoke with Director (Kazuya) Kamihoriuchi, who told me, "Be yourself when playing Gira." At first, I didn't really understand it, but as filming progressed, I slowly began to understand what he meant. Gira is very genuine with his emotions. When he's mad, he's mad, when he's sad, he's sad, and his facial expressions are distinct, so I interpreted it in my own way, by acting honestly, and even now, I'm still mindful of that when performing.

"Gira's brother and former king of Shugoddam, Racules Husty, thought of his citizens as tools, and while it was meant to oppose him, Gira sometimes called himself, "The evil king." What are your thoughts on this?"

Sakai: I think it's something that comes out unexpectedly, like when my emotions start to overflow, or when I have something I want to hide, but my personality makes me unable to lie. It's also the same for when I want to motivate myself.

"Is it difficult switching between that and regular Gira?"

Sakai: It was difficult. Director Kamihoriuchi gave me detailed instructions on the emotional flow of going from regular to evil, and then from evil to regular, and I'd practice alot even after going home.

"You seem to do alot of preparation before you start filming."

Sakai: Yeah. I think it's important to spend time going over the script in order to get into the role. I imagine everything from, "Why is Gira in this place?," "What types of food did Gira eat growing up?," "What kinds of kids does he spend time with, and how does he play with them?" By doing so, I feel that I can easily get into the role.

"You have a unique way of delivering lines, it's abit literary, isn't it?"

Sakai: I looked up things in the dictionary, like the meaning of, "One tree, one plant"* (laughs). But, while it's important to understand the meaning, I also think it's important to know who Gira's speaking to and with what kind of emotion, so I try to be aware of that. (*Japanese idiom)

"It's been about six months since filming began. Are there any areas where you feel Gira has grown?"

Sakai: Recently, I became more aware that I'm king. As king, Gira struggles with what he should be doing going forward, but I feel that he's grown compared to the first episode. I've learned alot from my conflicts with the other kings, such as with Yanma (Gast) and Hymeno (Ran), and while I haven't changed at my core, I'm gradually becoming more mature.

"Once more, when playing the role, what do you consider to be the most important features of Gira's character?"

Sakai: He's the type of person who's straightforward and expresses his emotions more than the other kings, so that's probably the most important thing I'm conscious of. When I'm happy, I look happy, when I'm mad, I look mad…and so on. I myself am not the type of person to express my emotions very much, so I try to be conscious of raising my "gears" 2-3 times to get as close to Gira as I can.

"As filming progressed, did you feel more comfortable being Gira?"

Sakai: I think so, recently I felt that I'm finally getting used to it. But, I still have a long way to go. I can do "angry" and "sad," with ease, but "happy" is still difficult for me. The way I feel is something I'm still struggling with.

"Conversely, what do you enjoy about performing?"

Sakai: The times when I can act as myself. When I can communicate well with those around me and think, "This scene will definitely turn out good," I feel very fulfilled. When I can absorb myself into a role, I don't feel strange when I watch my performance in the broadcast. However, there are times where I'll already have something to reflect on during filming, and when I see the broadcast I'll think, "I could have expressed myself better there."

"You get so into your role, that we were surprised to hear that you're the type of person who doesn't show much emotion, so were you surprised when you were chosen to play Gira?"

Sakai: Gira's slightly outgoing, innocent, and straightforward personality may have been something I could've identified with, but even so, it still felt like something I wasn't expecting. Everyone around me is so amazing at their performance, that I wondered, "Was I really the right person for this role?" At the time, I really felt this way.

"At the time of this book's publication, episode 26 will have aired, but please tell us about any memorable scenes or lines."

Sakai: The scene with Racules in episode 20. Gira's objective since the first episode has been to defeat Racules, but it was very difficult to maintain that objective throughout those 20 episodes. In this episode, Gira says to Racules, "I'll surrender if you apologize to everybody and become a king who'll work to protect them." When I said that line, I perfected it after thinking back on the events from the first episode, so it's a scene that I'm very attached to. Furthermore, It was also a turning point for us because (Masato) Yano-san, who plays Racules, would be stepping away from filming.

"Do you think that the talent of Yano-san was a big part of the reason for that scene turning out good?"

Sakai: I've really learned alot from him. We've worked together on other productions in the past, he's been a great help to me in my private life, and of course, he's consulted with me alot on set. To me, he's like a big brother I can rely on.

"How's the action in the scenes where you fight without transforming?"

Sakai: About a day before filming, Action Director (Watanabe) Jun-san gives us a chance to practice in the studio. I'm not that good at action, so if I don't practice, I might have a hard time later. The sword is also heavy, so the action scenes were already difficult. I'm going to do my best at improving my sword fighting skills.

"In the movie "Adventure Heaven," which released this past July, there was a scene where you and Shido Nakamura, who played the role of Reiniol, the first king of Shugoddam, had a fight, and so the practicing continued."

Sakai: Once again, by being apart of the Super Sentai series, it's given me the opportunity to experience not only acting, but also action, dubbing, variety and a wide range of other things, I'm very grateful for this. Also, another moment that left an impression on me, was the dialogue with Kuwagon (mechanical lifeform "Shugod" Gira fights alongside) in episode 25. Chatani Kazuyuki-san gave me detailed directions, and through trial and error, shot the scene about 5 or 6 times. At first, I was saying my lines unconventionally, but the Director told me to just perform it from the heart. The Director then encouraged me to add inflection to my lines. By changing my attitude, I was able to really get into the scene, and I felt a good response with this change, so it's a scene I'd like everyone to watch again.

"In episode 26, Gira's line of, "If you make the first move, you're evil, if you win, it's called justice, none of it even matters. All that really matters is….who can apologize first," was also memorable.

Sakai: As of this interview, we haven't shot that scene yet, but it's a scene that I really treasure. I'm currently thinking of a plan for how to act out the scene where I make the sincere apology.

"It shows that Gira is a person truly worthy of being king."

Sakai: It shows the size of Gira's capability, doesn't it? I think Gira's grown in this respect compared to the beginning of the series.

"Also, for a time, Gira often wore disguises to hide the fact he survived, were any of them memorable?"

Sakai: It would have to be the pillbug looking "Pilltaxi" suit I wore in episode 15. As I said in my dialog, it really was super hot to wear (laughs). The filming took place during the time of season where either short sleeves or long sleeves were appropriate, but first, I had to wear yellow tights, 2 down jackets on top, carry a heavy shell on my back, and put on goggles and headphones…..It was very hot and I also had to do action scenes, so while it was alot of fun, it was also pretty difficult (laughs).

-Moving straight ahead to create a "Good Country!-

"Next, please tell us about your impressions of the other kings. Let's start with Yanma."

Sakai: I have the most scenes of conflict with Yanma, but, he's also my partner. Aoto Watanabe (who plays Yanma), also puts his emotions into his performance, which then turns on my "switch," and allows me to give it my all. Gira is usually pretty direct, but I think he's most direct with Yanma. It feels like we're alittle special. When Gira rushes to Yanma's side in episode 17, it made me think that we share a very passionate friendship.

"By the way, how do you think Gira feels when Yanma calls him "Octomush"?"

Sakai: I don't think he has any complaints (laughs). If anything, it makes me think, "Ah! He called for me!" I guess it feels the same as being called "Gira" normally. Currently, being called "Octomush" has become normal. That's why I was alittle surprised when Yanma said "Gira" in episode 17, even though Gira wasn't around.

"Please also tell us about Hymeno."

Sakai: I often clash with Hymeno as well. In episode 14, when Hymeno was about to go down a slightly different path as king, Gira strongly says, "Is this the face you want your people to see?" However, from an objective view, I feel that Gira is treated like a toy by Hymeno (laughs). I'm sure Gira doesn't think anything of it, but from my point of view, it's an interesting relationship.

"What about Rita Kaniska?"

Sakai: I think Rita is the one Gira respects the most. Of course, everyone else also respects them. The scene in episode 5 where they pass judgment saying, "If I say he's not guilty, he's not guilty!," it was so cool that I got goosebumps. They're the opposite of Gira in terms of personality, but from Gira's point of view, they're an elder like figure who looks out for him. We haven't had many one on one scenes together, so I hope there'll be more in the future.

"Continuing on, please tell us about Kaguragi Dybowski."

Sakai: Regarding him, the way Kaguragi was towards the end of episode 15 left a strong impression on me. The concern Kaguragi has for his sister and Toufu makes him choose to side with Racules and, by extension, the Bugnarak, despite his true beliefs. The scene where Gira asks, "Isn't your heart crying?" was really memorable. Kaguragi is often misunderstood because he won't show his true feelings easily, but Gira tries to see the good in him and appears to trust him. The scene in episode 18, where Gira secretly communicated with Kaguragi behind the other king's backs, was also a wonderful one. Not just Kaguragi, but the scenes where each king showed their emotions left a lasting impression on me.

"The powerup item for KuwagataOhger, the Ohger Crown, was stolen from Racules and given to Gira, suggesting that Kaguragi also trusts Gira."

Sakai: That's right. At first glance, the relationship between the kings may seem surface level, but I feel that they've gradually started trusting each other. I thought that although the characters were different, they all faced the same direction. When I think back on it, my impression of everyone might be similar due to how Gira treats everyone the same (laughs). But, the good thing about Gira is that he doesn't change depending on the person. However, I think the way I treat Jeramie (Brasieri) is alittle different from the others. He's got a boyish spirit and is a character loved by everyone around him, so I think we share a similar character, almost like we're, "A couple of bad boys." He's alittle different from the other kings, and I expect that their relationship will become even more heated in the future.

"We'd also like to ask about your feelings towards Racules, who you've been fighting. You must have mixed feelings…."

Sakai: For me, I wasn't told about the kind of relationship they had as children. Gira is said to have little memories of those days, so it would be better if he didn't know. I'm trying to imagine if Gira was told anything by Racules, so I'm looking forward to finding out the answers to these questions in the future.

"Also, you're often able to perform with children, such as Kogane and Boone, who grew up in the same orphanage as Gira, please tell us what you keep in mind with them."

Sakai: I think it's important to have the same point of view as children. I'd make me happy if Gira's attitude was that he wanted to have fun with the children from the same perspective. The stance of wanting to have fun together from the same perspective is something that Director Kamihoriuchi told me from the beginning of the series, so I'd like to push that point further.

"Do you think there's anything about the other 5 cast members that you would actually consider to be kingly?"

Sakai: Watanabe (Yanma) has a manly spirit, which is really similar with Yanma in that respect. When we stop by a convenience store, he'll buy something for me without me knowing, and he'll do it without hesitation. He's the type who takes his acting very seriously, which I also think is really cool. When we watched "All Rush" (pre broadcast screenings) together, he'd sometimes reflect saying, "I wish I did more of this." I think he's a really passionate person. Erika-chan (Hymeno) is someone who pays close attention to her surroundings. I admire her for her thoughtfulness. Her demeanor is beautiful, and I think she's the perfect fit for the role of Hymeno. I think Yuzuki-chan (Rita) is way different from Rita (laughs). She's very approachable and mindful of her surroundings. Both Erika-chan and Yuzuki-chan are very mature, and good at being able to see the whole picture. Yuzuki-chan is also the youngest member of the main cast! Kaku-san (Kaguragi) is accommodating, offers advice, and livens up the scene. He's like a father to us, gently embracing us all with kindness. Finally, Masashi (Jeramie) didn't come off very Jeramie like at first, but lately, he's been smiling all the time and is very charming, similar to the kingly side of Jeramie. I feel that everyone has elements in their personal lives that fit the characters they play.

"Starting in September, we'll finally be entering the new chapter, Sakai-san, please give a yell of support to the current Gira!"

Sakai: Now that he's the king of Shugoddum, I think he'll have a stronger sense of responsibility for the country. I'm looking forward to seeing how Gira will deal with the other king's conflicts and the various situations that the children will face. Gira's idea of a "Good Country" is one where, "The king protects his citizens, and everyone protects those who are important to them." I believe that this goal is an expression of Gira's humanity, and I hope that he'll keep it in mind as he moves straight ahead.

Watanabe Aoto (Yanma Gast) Interview

-The name "Hymeno" is a privilege for Yanma only-

"What kind of character did you feel Yanma was when you read the script?"

Watanabe: My first thought was, "This guy, I think he's a really cool man!" I've always admired men who take the initiative and lead others. Yanma shows off his cool side, but is also the type of person who can expose his weaknesses. That's why those around him want to help out. I remember thinking that the role was very appealing.

"Speaking of, Yanma's main characteristic is his pompadour hair style."

Watanabe: Actually, it wasn't going to be a pompadour in the beginning, but the Director, makeup artist and I came up with the decision. At first, I suggested a perm, with a "wet" look, but they wanted something edgier, so, they started trimming my sides more and more, until we ended up with the style you see now (laughs).

"Compared to the start of filming, have you discovered any new aspects of Yanma that you find appealing, or do you feel that you've grown?"

Watanabe: At this point, I really feel that he's trying to keep his cool image. Starting with Gira, he also seems to have a good relationship with Jeramie and Kaguragi, and I think it's because Yanma's willing to open up and talk with them. Don't dismiss your friends, but make sure to express your own opinions. With that kind of attitude, I feel the respect for each and every one of them. I also really like the distance that Yanma gives when interacting with someone.

"At the time of this book's publication, episode 26 will have aired, but, please tell us about any memorable scenes or lines."

Watanabe: There are alot of scenes I like….First, there's episode 2, where I say to the people of N'kosopa, "You guys, just shut up already and follow me. I'm not going to lose to anyone!!," there's also the scene in episode 7, where Hymeno reveals her past to Yanma. The scene in episode 10, where Legend King-Ohger arrives after the passionate exchange with Shiokara (Yanma's retainer), I really liked as well. Also, there's the wacky scene in episode 11, where they discussed how to reveal to the people that Gira, who was supposed to be dead, was actually alive. Ah, also! I liked the scene in episode 14, when Hymeno suspects that Jeramie's the one who caused the "Wrath of God" (disaster from 15 years ago), and Yanma says, "Things'll become clear when you finally meet Jeramie." Instead of being like, "I'll help you," he's more, "I'll throw you a rope, but it's up to you with what you do with it," leaving it up to her to decide, which I thought was very cool and totally like Yanma. I also like the scene in episode 17, where Gira saves Yanma, who's falling apart, and then the whoopie cushion scene in episode 19, where Yanma and Jeramie talk to each other, and they’re both smiling and laughing together, I really liked that one! It was the first time where I felt that he and Jeramie were facing the same direction.

"What do you keep in mind when playing Yanma?"

Watanabe: Before filming, the Director told me about my eyes. He said that if I remained as I was, they wouldn't have any "sharpness" to them. I watched yankii movies by myself, and since Yanma is a character who leads people, I wondered, "What kind of person would people want to follow?" I also read books and biographies written by people who've held leader positions. Through this process, I've slowly developed a sense of, "The coolness of someone who leads others." Now, I'm in the process of putting out what I've been studying.

"Like what for instance?"

Watanabe: Usually when Yanma talks to people, he'll consciously turn his head at an angle to them. He'll look away and stay calm, and only makes eye contact when the moment is right. I'm especially careful of the timing for when I face the person and when I make eye contact. I think this is an important factor in expressing what I consider to be Yanma's, "distance between people".

"What are some of the challenges you face when performing?"

Watanabe: The explanatory lines…there's so many Katakana characters. But, that's pretty much it. At other times, my jacket would fall off my shoulders while I was doing action scenes (laughs). Ah, speaking of the action! Yanma's pretty weak in fights, but I myself want to play the role of a more cool Yanma, so I'm alittle torn. In the movie "Adventure Heaven," which was released in July, there was an action scene between Rita and Yanma. During filming, Yanma was being overtaken by a swarm of Sanagim (Bugnarak soldiers), but, when I looked at Rita, they looked so freaking cool beating them up. Honestly, I was abit jealous.

"So you had a hard time with the explanatory lines, huh? There are many proper nouns unique to the show, so did you struggle with the intonation, especially in the beginning?"

Watanabe: It was difficult! I struggled the most with the accent for "Shugod."

"For Hymeno's name, should it be pronounced with an accent on the "Hy" or should it be pronounced normally?"

Watanabe: Actually, only Yanma's allowed to say it normally. Everyone else is told to put the accent on the "Hy". It's a privilege only I have!

"When do you most enjoy playing Yanma?"

Watanabe: For me, with the more serious scenes, I think I enjoy them more when they're over. As a citizen of N'kosopa, I also become nervous with all the extra cast members, but at the same time, it makes me feel excited. I approached these things with the mindset of, "Yanma's someone who brought these people together," but, when I walked down the red carpet with about 300 people all staring at me, I once again felt excited and the tension started to rise.

-Whatever choice you make, choose the one you won't regret-

"Now, I'd like to know what kind of impressions Watanabe-san has about the characters that surround Yanma. First off is Gira."

Watanabe: This can be said for all the kings, but I feel that he has his own sense of justice. I think that Gira's desire to protect people, even at the cost of his life, is stronger than others. He played the role of an "evil king" to make it happen. Yanma might laugh at Gira's way of doing things, but from my point of view, I think it's very cute. I mean, he's got a cute face, doesn't he? (laughs). There's something sparkly about his moments of "nothingness," and I think it grabs the hearts of both men and women. Even when he's doing something ridiculous, he has an atmosphere that makes the people around him want to support him, which is very much in tune with being a main character.

"What do you think about Hymeno?"

Watanabe: In my opinion, among all the characters in the show, aside from Yanma, I'm fond of Hymeno. For me, I love cool female characters. Furthermore, the selfish ones are the strongest of them all, right?! I also really like the relationship between Yanma and Hymeno. When Hymeno says something like, "you lack elegance," I tend to rebel against her, but I feel like we recognize each other's beliefs. Even when they're fighting, I don't think they feel awkward, I think that they're just enjoying themselves.

"In the beginning, Yanma called her, "Hymeno-chan," but before we knew it, he just calls her "Hymeno."

Watanabe: Actually, he hasn't called her by her name since episode 3, when he called her "Hymeno-chan." He did sometimes call her "Princess," though. So, I kept waiting to see when he would call her by her name next. And then, in episode 17, he said her name for the first time in such a long time, and it was also the first time he called out to her! It was the scene where Yanma relies on Hymeno, and I said to Erika-chan, "It's finally here." I thought it was really passionate that he called out to her for the first time in such a situation. I feel that Hymeno and Yanma are subconsciously acting in a way that'll make them like each other. For instance, in episode 7, I wonder if Yanma's answer to Hymeno's question about her past could've been more heartfelt because it was Hymeno. For Yanma on the other hand, when he asked Hymeno for a favor, I really like how she always smiles and helps me. In the beginning of the story, there were scenes depicted in which it seemed that Yanma had a crush on Hymeno, but I hope that in the end, Hymeno will fall in love with Yanma. That's my wish, but when I told Erika-chan about it, she said, "No, it won't happen that way. Because Hymeno is becoming more mature, in the end, Yanma will fall for Hymeno once again." (laughs).

"(laughs). So, what about Rita?"

Watanabe: For Yanma, Rita is the most distant of the 5. That's why Rita's the only one he hasn't called by name yet. I think for Yanma, it may have to do with Rita's position as chief judge. He has respect for them, so he doesn't want to interfere too much in the decisions they make. However, when dealing with them as a person, I think Yanma's the type of person who says whatever he wants. That's why he said, "So annoying!," when Rita screams in episode 19. I personally think that since Yanma can make friends with anyone, that I'm sure he can make friends with Rita as well. Still, he doesn't know much about Rita's personality, so if he can just break down some of their barriers, then surely…..Well, I do wish Rita would atleast be alittle more honest (laughs). But, Rita just goes at their own pace.

"Next, tell us about Kaguragi."

Watanabe: For me, I think that Kaguragi-san and Racules-san are characters that are most likely popular among adults. When I auditioned for the show, there was the script for the scene in the first episode, where Gira and Racules confront each other. At that time, I very much empathized with Racules. I'm only in my mid twenties, but even I know that you can't live by empty words only. I'm the type of person who has a hard time trusting people 100% right away, so I feel that the way Racules-san and Kaguragi-san go about politics makes the most sense. Among other things, Kaguragi-san's appeal is in that he's willing to dirty his hands to protect his family and his citizens.

"What are your impressions of Kaguragi from Yanma's perspective?"

Watanabe: Even as Yanma, I don't think he'd deny the way that Kaguragi-san does things. In episode 19, When he said to Kaguragi-san, "I guess I can trust you after all," is because he doesn't do things out of self interest, and that he's more concerned with protecting Toufu than the way it appears. I think Yanma can trust him. He was considered a traitor by many of those around him, but his actions are based on his beliefs. I think Yanma recognizes these aspects of Kaguragi.

"What about Jeramie?"

Watanabe: Jeramie's real cute, huh? Although, he's abit too pretentious for my tastes (laughs). In episode 12, Jeramie's origins were revealed. I think Yanma also feels that he's cute in that, even though he's been alive for 2,000 years, he still gets pulled around by everyone around him. Furthermore, there's the scene in episode 19, where Yanma and Jeramie fistbump, and I think that Yanma wanted to have an equal relationship with Jeramie at that time. So, I was mindful of that when I played the part of Yanma getting angry for a moment in response to Jeramie's words. Also, Jeramie's really strong. So, I hope Yanma can be in a position to guide him in using that strength.

"Do you think there's anything about the other 5 cast members that you would actually consider to be kingly?"

Watanabe: They all have their own wonderful qualities. Taisei may seem like an innocent airhead, but he's also got a manly spirit. Erika-chan is someone who always thinks from the perspective of those around her. She's dignified, in a good way, and that's something I want to learn from her. Yuzuki-chan is the same, she has a keen sense of observation. For example, when she sees someone who appears to be in trouble, she tries to move towards that person to help them. It's wonderful that she's not only able to anticipate, but is also able to act properly. Kaku-san is very experienced! He's the ideal adult man. I want to be like Kaku-san someday. Finally, Masashi is very friendly. Before I realized it, we became very close. I seem to have ended up talking about what I like about the 5 of them, rather than what I think is kingly about them (laughs).

"We'd also like to ask about Shiokara, Yanma's retainer."

Watanabe: My relationship with Shiokara is also a heated one. Yanma used to be a loner, but Shiokara accepts him and has stuck around ever since. They've spent alot of time together, so he's someone Yanma trusts the most. For me, I'm very happy and grateful to have someone like Shiokara by my side. He works for me, coordinating our foreign diplomacy. And, Shiokara's someone who can speak up for Yanma, so in a way, he also acts as my "brakes."

"If you think about it, Shiokara seems to have great communication skills…"

Watanabe: That's right. That's why I think his role is to act as a connection between Yanma and other people. For example, if it were just Yanma and his citizens, there would be alot of conflict, but with Shiokara intervening, they can move things in the right direction.

"In the future, are there any situations or scenes that you'd like to play as Yanma?"

Watanabe: I have so many that I've been writing them down in my phone's memo pad (laughs). The first, would be an awakening scene. I think it's okay for someone to lose sight of themselves. If Yanma were to switch places in the scene where he says to Hymeno, "The grief of losing someone, it's a luxury I've never had," he'd probably find himself in a situation where his rationality is thrown out and his eyes are opened. Another scene would be where Shiokara is fighting, and while everyone else is worried about him, only Yanma is watching and laughing. I thought it'd be nice if the person closest to Shiokara believed in him and watches over him, and so something in Shiokara would also awaken…I think that'd be a good scene. Wouldn't it be real passionate if we could draw out Shiokara's strength even more because Yanma believes in him?! I want to try doing it!

"As we enter the new chapter, please give a yell of support for the current Yanma."

Watanabe: I want you to stick to your own style until the end, even if there are many challenges ahead. It's okay if it's different from what Yanma thinks now. For example, right now he’s saying, "I don't flatter or bow down to anyone," but when the time comes that Yanma thinks it would be better to do so, he may lower his head. I think that's just how you grow. Whatever choice you make, I hope it's one you won't regret. From now on, let's show off another new side to Yanma!

Murakami Erika (Hymeno Ran) Interview

-I can say, "Thank you," with all my heart-

"At the time of being cast, what kind of character was described to you?"

Murakami: The first thing I was told, was that Hymeno's beloved parents had lost their lives. I was asked to create a role based on this fact. So, I didn't ask about the specifics of her personality, rather, I developed the character of Hymeno while acting. Hymeno's character introduction on the official site states, "Extremely selfish" and, "Has no hesitation in saving someone's life." I think being selfish means to have a strong will and a strong heart that won't be discouraged by anything. With that, I think it comes from the frustration of, "I wasn't able to save my parents." The reason why Hymeno was able to move forward with determination, and not give up no matter what happens, is most likely because she's overcome the sadness of losing her parents by herself. So, when I play Hymeno, I value having that kind of backbone the most, and it became a very important point of reference in my interpretation of Hymeno.

"Compared to the beginning of filming, do you feel that Hymeno has grown in any way?"

Murakami: It would be the fact that she's started to say thank you from the heart. Hymeno has a desire for revenge due to her parents being killed when she was younger, but I think she's lived most of her life while hiding those negative emotions. But, the more I came into contact with kings from other countries, the more I had to face it. For example, in episode 14, after learning that the animation, "Together with Moffun," was created by the people of Ishabana to cheer up Hymeno, who ascended the throne at such a young age, there's a scene where Hymeno says, "Thank you," to a girl, one of her citizens. Of course, as the queen of Ishabana, I'm sure that she had much to thank her people for, but I felt that her "thank you" at that time was a sincere one that brought her back to her original mindset, which she had forgotten. I think that's where Hymeno grew the most. Also, in episode 7, Yanma tells Hymeno that, "The grief of losing someone, it's a luxury I never had," and I think that was a scene where Hymeno realized alot of things. It's discoveries like this, through the other kings, that allow her to move forward again. These kinds of changes wouldn't be possible if Hymeno was all alone. Also, no one believed her when she said that her parents hadn't died from the disaster, but were instead murdered, except for Rita, who was the only one who believed her. Episode 16 proved that the "Wrath of God" was a deliberate act. As the story progresses, Hymeno, who would've never relied on others, came to rely on everyone at important points. At the beginning of filming, I was thinking mainly about how to make Hymeno's character stand out, and how to show the relationship between the kings, but, as Hymeno has grown, I feel that I've come to grasp the role in a deeper way.

"In episode 16, Hymeno gives Rita a "Premium Chibi Moffun" as a thank you present.

Murakami: I think she was just really happy that Rita relied on her to analyze the poison, and that she opened up to them and told them about her past. Hymeno grew up with alot of love from her parents, and I believe that she really wants to interact with alot of different people. That's why her interaction with Rita reminded me of my own childhood and made me feel nostalgic. While she's a strong woman, I feel that Hymeno must have often felt lonely.

"In the film "Adventure Heaven," which was released in July, the kings visited the Kingdom of Death, and Hymeno was reunited with her parents. During filming, did you ever remember your own parents and call them?"

Murakami: I did! I talked alot with my parents before shooting that exact scene. We didn't talk about anything special, we just had a casual conversation. But, I think what Hymeno wants the most, is the daily life she had when her parents were still alive. So, while I can talk to my parents whenever I want, I imagined what it would be like if I couldn't do that anymore, and developed Hymeno's feelings from there. So basically, I tried not to decide too much for each scene in my head, but rather, I tried to decide how I would act by my movements and feeling the atmosphere of the scene.

"Was that the way you approached the role from the beginning?"

Murakami: No, in the beginning, I did things my own way. I would often come up with a plan and then go to the shoot. However, I thought that I could make the performance better if we all worked together on it, as things can change when you're working on it with someone else. I realized this in episode 17, in the scene where Yanma said to me, "I need your help to evacuate the people of N'kosopa. You're not so heartless to leave the wounded behind, are you?" When I read the script alone, I thought that Yanma would say it like he was exhausted from battle. But, in reality, he said it with a very relaxed smile on his face. I thought, "I see. I'm surprised that Yanma would do such a thing here!" I responded to him with a smile of nuance, as if saying, "You know I'm not that kind of a girl, right?" I'm sure that I wouldn't have been able to do that if I had perfected the performance by myself.

"With that, she said that she's now able to perform with more composure than when she first started."

Murakami: That's right. At first, as I read the script, I thought about each line with, "Why am I saying this here?" I would think about each line and write various things into the script. However, I thought that if I kept doing that, I'd have a hard time in the future, and that if I didn't think too much about it, I'd be more flexible if something different from what I had anticipated happened on set. In fact, my stance has changed, and I felt much more at ease when I went to one of the film sites without any script.

"When do you enjoy playing Hymeno the most?"

Murakami: There are many times. For example, in episode 16, where I tell Rita, "Thank you," and I happily hum as I leave was really fun to perform. Also, the scene where Hymeno becomes startled from when Rita screams, "Aaaaah!!," is also funny due to my amusing reaction. I like performances that are dialogue heavy, so I'll read the script, and imagine things that haven't taken form yet as I go to the set, and when I get there I think, "Ah, this person is going to do this here! Well then, I'll try to get in on it." It's really nice seeing new developments happening all the time.

"On the other hand, are there any struggles when playing Hymeno?"

Murakami: Hymeno has dealt with many difficulties in the past, so she's not easily fazed. That's why I've had a very hard time with more emotional scenes. In the film, there's a part in which I had to hold back tears during the scene where I say goodbye to my parents. If it were actually me, I would definitely start to cry, but Hymeno has the strength to endure it. During those times, it's difficult for me to distinguish between the emotions of myself and those of Hymeno.

-I sometimes offer my ideas about Hymeno's makeup-

"Hymeno's elegant behavior is appealing, but is she influenced by Murakami-san as well?"

Murakami: My grandmother was very strict about etiquette, so I was often told that I, "had elegance." In episode 14, I said to Jeramie, "You, just reveal the truth, and nothing more!" But, I've never said "You"* to anyone, so, how was I supposed to say it?! I was really worried. But, I thought that Hymeno could say it, since she's a strong woman. The more I understand Hymeno, the more I realize that she's a stronger person than I thought. My goal was, "Have a strong heart, and be someone who isn't discouraged by the smallest things," and I feel like I'm getting closer to that by playing Hymeno. In the past, when it came to acting, I often felt sad and thought, "I should've done that more like this." But now, even when I'm feeling down, I can think, "Alright, how can I reflect and put it to use next time?" (*she uses an informal way of saying "You")

"I admire women like Hymeno. She's strong, but cute."

Murakami: She really is! Hymeno is selfish, but I think being selfish is wonderful. In this generation, I think there are many people who can't say what they want, because they feel that they have to conform to their surroundings. If those people can gain even alittle bit of strength and courage from watching Hymeno, it would be a true honor for me as an actor.

"Hymeno's costumes, hair and makeup are just like those of a princess. Do the costumes and makeup turn on your "switch" as Hymeno?"

Murakami: Rather than the costumes, I feel that I look the most like a queen when I sit on my throne. There are alot of accessories around me, so I get tips on how to hold a teacup and do other gestures. Also, when it comes to the makeup, I sometimes suggest colors for my lipstick, eye shadow, and blush. I'll sometimes even bring my own cosmetics to the set.

"What are some key points of Hymeno's makeup?"

Murakami: I try to keep a good balance in the use of colors. If the eyes are darker, the lips should be lighter, and so, if the lips are darker, then the eyes should be lighter. What I'm most particular about is always having, "Curled eyelashes." When you draw Hymeno in fan art, I think it looks more like Hymeno if the eyelashes are quickly raised up!

"At the time of this book's publication, episode 26 will have aired, but please tell us about any memorable scenes or lines."

Murakami: The line in episode 21, where I say to Gira, "What's wrong with being selfish?," is catchy, and it's my favorite because it suits Hymeno so well. Also, when I sensed that Scorpi (God Scorpion) had feelings for Kabutan (God Kabuto), she says, "Are you really just friends?," and I liked how Hymeno was sensitive towards a young maiden's heart. Also, in episode 25, where she says, "I always hate it when the flowers fall. But, if I think of it as a way to scatter the seeds so more flowers can bloom, then I can accept it." That line made me happy to see Hymeno grow so much.

"Next, please tell us about your impressions of the other 5 kings. First is Gira."

Murakami: At first, I thought Gira was the type of person who would be very noisy, but when I saw how he behaved himself during the meal scene, I felt that he gave off an aura of someone who was more than just an ordinary person. In the scene where she first meets Gira, Hymeno says, "I'm interested in you," and touches Gira's chin. I remember being surprised because we had only just started filming (laughs).

"Next, tell us about Yanma."

Murakami: Hymeno is a young lady with a rich upbringing, while Yanma is a yankii who's risen up from the streets of poverty. They're complete opposites, but they have a strange relationship in that they can share some things with each other. In episode 7, when Hymeno talks about her past, Yanma doesn't stand by her, instead, he speaks from a completely different angle. But, I believe that Yanma's statement of, "That kind of consolation doesn't help people grow," was said out of kindness.

"What's your impression of Rita?"

Murakami: Rita is a neutral person, someone who attacks everything with logic, so at first, there were scenes where I was made to feel as if, "Someone I don't like very much is here." But, as I got to know them better, I found that they looked directly at Hymeno and took her more seriously than anyone else. Rita is someone who can stand by others. The back to back fight with Hymeno is my favorite scene with Rita.

"How about Kaguragi Dybowski?"

Murakami: For Kaguragi, I got the impression that he was a very hospitable, lively and pleasant guy, but, he's also deceitful and had ulterior motives, so I couldn't trust him. Even in episode 13, there's a line where Hymeno looks annoyed when she sees Kaguragi and says, "Why are you (here)…?" That foreshadowing was beautifully revealed in episode 19! You can't tell people just from looking at the surface….

"Please also tell us about Jeramie Brasieri."

Murakami: I got the impression that he was a, "Strange spider man," who didn't really know what he wanted to do. However, when he finally opened up, I realized that he just wanted to get along with everyone. From Hymeno's point of view, it's like, "Why are you doing things in such a roundabout way?!" (laughs). In episode 14, Hymeno doubted Jeramie, saying, "Are you the one who caused the Wrath of God?!," but he kept saying, "I want you to read between the lines." If you just speak properly, I'll get the message. But, it's probably because he's never been able to engage with other people before. I find his clumsiness abit endearing, so I can't just leave him be.

"Do you think there's anything about the other 5 cast members that you would consider to be kingly?"

Murakami: One day, I was on standby for my scene, but due to time constraints, we didn't film it. I was feeling alittle sad about it, but Taisei-kun encouraged me by saying, "Don't worry!" I thought his casual concern for others was like a king. For Aoto-kun…when we had just started filming, there was a time when I was feeling depressed because I felt that I couldn't act well. When I went to the filming site the next day, Aoto-kun said, "I'll give you some candy." That sort of indirect kindness is both heartwarming and comforting.

"Looking through Murakami-san's SNS, we can see that she and Yuzuki Hirakawa-san, who plays Rita, go out together on their days off and seem to get along well."

Murakami: That's right. There are separate dressing rooms for the men and women, so Yuzuyan (Hirakawa) and I spend all our time together, even when we're not filming. I sometimes call her "YuzuYuzu." She's someone who can honestly and clearly say what she thinks, and I think that's a strength similar to a king.

How about Kaguragi's Kaku So-san, and Jeramie's Masashi Ikeda-san?

Murakami: Kaku-san is the oldest of the cast members, and I can tell that he's looking out for all of us with a sense of responsibility. He plays the kind of king who surrounds everyone. Ikeda-kun is always smiling and laughing at my boring jokes. The same goes for Kaku-san, and their kindness makes me feel like they're kings with a big heart.

"Are there any situations as Hymeno that you'd like to play in the future?"

Murakami: After filming the movie, I felt there were situations where I was like, "Hymeno is strong, so I can't let these things discourage her." I would like to try something like, "(through tears) I don't want to ruin my mascara." (laughs).

"Since we're about to enter the new chapter, please give a yell of support to the current Hymeno!"

Murakami: Hymeno~! You're not only selfish, but you've also got a cute side to you. I don't know what the new chapter will look like yet, but, as long as you stay the way you are and walk the path you believe in, I'm sure you'll be fine!

Hirakawa Yuzuki (Rita Kaniska) Interview

-Rita is calm and quiet, but is the opposite of "cold"-

"At the time of being chosen for the role and filming began, how did the staff explain the character to you?"

Hirakawa: Since the time of the audition, I was told that Rita would be, "A character who's calm, quiet, and fazed by nothing." The word, "Immovable," came up while I was reading the script and having discussions with Pilot Director, Kazuya Kamihoriuchi-san. Also, they mentioned that the character doesn't show many emotional highs or lows. As the international chief judge, they always take a step back and look at things objectively, but, this wasn't dictated by the production team, I thought it'd be better to do that if I were Rita, so they adopted it. Even at times when I'm with everyone during filming, I try to keep one step back.

"For your role Hirakawa-san, what kind of character do you think Rita is?"

Hirakawa: Rita has many faces, including the face they show to everyone and the face they show when they're alone. At a glance, they may look like an inhumane and cold person, but, they scream alot and talk with their Moffun plushies to clear their mind, and among the 6 kings, I feel that they're surprisingly humane. But, on the other hand, they also have a role as chief judge, and there are times when they have to stand in front of a crowd as king. Even in our normal lives, there's a sharp contrast between when we're working and when we're having fun. I'm sure that Rita feels that way too. Because Rita has so many sides to them, it's easy for viewers to relate to each side and way of life, and I think that's why we've received so much positive feedback. Furthermore, Rita often confronts people with the harsh truth of their situations, but it's proof that they've seen and dealt with them properly. If there's even abit of doubt, they investigate with their own eyes and legs.

"Compared to when you first started filming, what are some new things you've discovered about Rita recently, and how do you feel they've grown?"

Hirakawa: When we first started filming, we only received the scripts for 2 episodes, so I though, "What's going to happen to Rita?" In episode 5, which is Rita's first main episode, the scene where they talk with Moffun I had already performed during the audition, so I an idea that such a scene would be included. As I read the scripts and acted in episode 5 and so on, my image of Rita finally solidified in my mind. Thinking about it again, I've recently started to show my own personality in front of everyone.

"The scene with Morfonia in episode 10 was particularly memorable."

Hirakawa: That's the scene where, through Moffun, Morfonia said to me, "If the world's going to end, why not ask for someone's help just once? Moffun wants to stay together with Rittan." At that time, I think the feeling of, "I have to tell you what I'm thinking," developed within Rita. As a result of having the courage to show their true feelings to Morfonia, I felt that they had become less of a barrier to those around them. It was a moment where I felt that Rita had grown by taking a step forward on their own.

"You mentioned earlier about your position. What else do you keep in mind when playing Rita?"

Hirakawa: Rita's face is usually covered by the collar, so there's alot that can be conveyed by the way they look at you, the way they blink, and how they open their eyes. For those reasons, I pay extra attention to eye contact. Since the only source of information about facial expressions is through the eyes, even a quick glance at someone conveys information about how you feel towards them. The same goes for the movements of the body as a whole, but I'm still very conscious of the eyes. This is a character whose imagination grows in the minds of viewers, so I want to make sure they don't get the wrong impressions. And, when I'm speaking as chief judge, I also try to make my words sound compelling. I have a naturally low voice, so in order to make my voice more low pitched and stable, especially when making a verdict, I would lower my voice and make it stronger. The trial scenes are the most difficult, because there's alot of difficult lines (laughs). When I read the script and came across a word that I wouldn't normally use, I'll use a handwriting app on my phone to find out how to read it. I think that if you don't understand the meaning of your lines before saying them, it'll be unconvincing, so that's one of the points I'm working on. In addition, Rita, from their position of neutrality, has many loud, impactful lines in which they declare important things for the countries, such as the "Five Kingdom Alliance," and the trials by combat. I'm mindful of closing scenes like that in a cool way.

"Speaking of voice, the tone of their voice when they're alone in their room was also striking."

Hirakawa: The tension in the room when I was speaking to Moffun was like, "No moooore!," as I had been influenced by the script and felt it was much different at first. But, when I was reading the script the day before filming, Director Kamihoriuchi told me that there was a change in direction (laughs). However, I think the fact that the tension was the same as in the actual broadcast made the scene more surreal and cute. Still, just talking to some plushies is quite a contrast, isn't it? I also enjoy the close up shots. The lines that Rita says to Moffun aren't meant to be sweet, but are instead abit of a lesson. By speaking with Moffun, Rita must be trying to clear their mind. Performing those interactions has become a "switch" for me, and I feel as if I have a small Moffun in my head as well.

"It seems to be very difficult to keep the tension the same, in addition to being required to perform in a slow, almost whispering manner."

Hirakawa: That's right. Also, while men's low voices resonate great, it's abit difficult to make women's low voices resonate. Voices change depending on the condition, so I have to pay attention when making adjustments.

"Another scene that's received alot of attention, are those where your character screams in panic."

Hirakawa: The script said, "Aaaaaah!," so I wasn't sure what to do at first… (laughs). I hadn't really screamed much in any of my previous roles, so when we set up for the shoot, the Director gave me the direction of, "More screaming! more!" This happened before we ate lunch, but during the actual performance after eating, the volume of my voice became much louder. I then realized the importance of food. From then on, whenever my voice became low during filming, the Director would ask me, "Want to eat some food for now?" (laughs). Rita does that outburst when they feel like their head is about to explode, so I guess this too is sort of a "switch." It's normal of Rita to make strange noises in order to calm down. In episode 9, when Rita screamed, Yanma responds with, "Stop that! It's so annoying!" That was actually an adlib by Watanabe-kun, who plays Yanma. It made me very happy!

"What are some of the challenges you face when performing?"

Hirakawa: My visibility is poor. When I check my standing position on set, I can't see the right half of my body. As for the difficulty of my movement, I've been doing this for more than half a year now, so I've gotten used to it. Speaking of getting used to it, I wear boots with a heel of about 10 cm.* They're one of my favorites because of how cool they are. (*alittle under 4 inches)

"When are the times where you feel most comfortable playing the role?"

Hirakawa: The setting and worldview are completely different from the environment in which we actually live, so there are many things that we wouldn't normally be able to do. So, everything's alot of fun. It's also the first time for me to play the role of a judge (laughs). As I mentioned earlier, Rita has many sides, so I play them as if I were playing 4 roles at once. The most enjoyable scenes are those in which they can perform comedic movements. For example, in episode 9, they rush forward with the hilt of their Ohger Calibur to stop Gira's outburst, and in the film, they run towards Yanma with their hands raised. I hope you'll pay attention to the way they're slowly making such movements, even in front of their friends.

-They're calm, but, when they're excited, they're excited!-

"At the time of this book's publication, the episode that will have aired is episode 26, which is the end of the battle with the Bugnarak. Please tell us about any memorable scenes or lines from Rita."

Hirakawa: I was really impressed by episode 16, which dove into Rita's past and their childhood when they became a judge. I also liked that Rita's first exchange with Shiron, who they judged, was connected to the main plot of the story. This was the episode where Rita reaffirmed their resolve and responsibility as king, and strongly vowed, "As king, I will absolutely uphold neutrality and order," so it made me feel even more nervous playing the role. Gokkan is a special country whose citizens are current or ex criminals, so it seems alittle different from the other countries.

"You've had a lot of battles, which one has been the most memorable in terms of action?"

Hirakawa: Hachisuka Yuichi-san, the suit actor who plays PapillonOhger, Rita's transformed form, has been carefully teaching me how to swing a sword and move my feet one by one. Even the smallest movements, like how to hold the sword or the angle of the sword towards the camera, are the parts that he's very particular about, as he watches and guides me from the monitor, he says, "If you do it this way, you'll look cool!"

"We'd like to hear Hirakawa-san's impressions of the characters surrounding Rita. First, please start with Gira."

Hirakawa: He's so straightforward, that it makes me worry. It's really cool that he acts for everyone's sake, even at the cost of his life, but, he also has a boyish cute like feel to him that I think makes him a really lovable character. It's also nice to see him switch from his cute face to a cool kingly face. It's wonderful that he always thinks with everyone in mind.

"How about Yanma?"

Hirakawa: Out of the 6, he's the most wild, and has a manly spirit. When he says, "I'll follow the path I believe in!," I like the way it sounds, it's got a strong feel of passion within its roughness. It might be because he grew up in the slums, and has worked his way up the ranks, but he also has abit of a playful and approachable feel to him. Most of all, his cool attitude of "Follow me," makes me think that he'd definitely make any N'kosopa citizen a fan.

"Continuing on, Hymeno Ran."

Hirakawa: I think everything about her is beautiful and cute. I feel the strength of a woman from Hymeno, and she's the kind of hero that girls admire. She acts selfishly, but it's not for personal gain. It's wonderful that she does it for the sake of protecting others. I also feel the power to keep believing in what I once believed in, and to keep moving forward with it. I also think the fact that she enjoys fashion with her hair, makeup, and constantly changing dresses, is also appealing.

"Next is Kaguragi Dybowski."

Hirakawa: I don't know what he's thinking anymore! (laughs). Kaguragi is always up to something, and I think he's the most unpredictable out of the 6 of us. But, as king, he says he'll, "Get his hands dirty to protect his people," so he really does come off like a nice older brother. He's a man who'll take any side for the sake of his own benefit, so I feel that he's the most important person for Rita to watch out for and to always keep an eye on.

"We'd also like to ask about the sixth warrior, Jeramie Brasieri."

Hirakawa: Jeramie is someone who also has alot, if not more, mysterious parts to him as Kaguragi. He's brought to Gokkan every time something happens, so he has alot of scenes with Rita. I personally don't get what, "Between the lines," Jeramie is saying for us to read (laughs). However, I think he's got some similarities with Rita. I think they can relate to his inability to honestly express his thoughts, and his emotional highs and lows. I think he's the talking type, and the fact that he's so mysterious is interesting.

"Finally, one more person. What do you think about Morfonia, Rita's retainer who really understands them?"

Hirakawa: Although she's someone who always says, "Work is too much trouble…," she's a hard worker, who does what Rita asks her to do quickly and efficiently. I don't think their relationship with her was that close until episode 10, but after that conversation, the way they treated Morfonia changed. For her, she's also changed the way she treats and looks at Rita, and I think she's become more interested in Rita as a person. She's a cute, reliable and a beloved character.

"Do you think there's anything about the other 5 cast members that you would consider to be kingly?"

Hirakawa: I was told that it's uncommon, but this time, all 6 main cast members are over 20 years old. So even though everyone is usually pretty calm, when they're excited, they're excited, just like the kings in the show. When one person messes around, another one joins them, and then another will pick up on it…it's a really peaceful and fun scene to witness (laughs). No matter what I do, there are those who will definitely join me, so I'm grateful for that.

"You're all good friends, aren't you? We've heard that you'll sometimes go out to eat together."

Hirakawa: That's right. We often go out to eat together after filming, and we have alot of fun talking not just about filming, but about casual things too. It's currently pretty rare, but since I'm from Kumamoto, sometimes it's hard for me to understand the intonation of some words in standard Japanese. Furthermore, I was nervous about the intonation of some words we don't usually use, like court terms and the explanatory lines, so I had to ask Watanabe-kun and Kaku-san about them. Then, they'd say something random and unintelligible to confuse me, so I'd always laugh and say, "That's definitely not true, right?!" Also, it's very popular to imitate and speak as the characters on set. If you imitating Racules's name calling, or if you speak in a way that takes alot of time, like Kaguragi, you're sometimes called, "Toufu Ruler" (laughs).

"From now on, do you have any hopes for Rita to develop in the future?"

Hirakawa: Someday, I'd like to take off the collar and talk with my face in front of everyone. Right now, they only take it off in scenes where the other kings aren't around or during battle scenes. Scenes for joking around are also good. I think it'd be really interesting if a character who doesn't usually do silly scenes, actually does some, and I think Rita is the right person for that role. On the other hand, I'll have a sense of responsibility to make it funny, but, I'll be sure to give it my all if my wish comes true!

"We're finally entering the new chapter. Hirakawa-san, please give a yell of support to the current Rita!"

Hirakawa: Just as peace has been restored with the creation of the sixth kingdom, I have a feeling that new enemies will also appear. However, if you have faith in what you believe in, and do what you need to do, I'm sure you'll be able to face the challenges. You have wonderful friends now. Please take a quick breather and do your best!

Kaku So (Kaguragi Dybowski) Interview

-Being recognized as a liar makes me happy (laughs)-

"We understand that Kaguragi was meant to be more dark hearted, and to be more of a villain in the initial setting."

Kaku: During the time of the audition, I got the feeling that he not only played tricks, but also cheated others with his words. However, I thought that the type of character that's skillful with words but pushes through with power in the end would suit my style, so I tried to play it in that manner. Later, when I got the role of Kaguragi and filming started, the character wasn't as cruel as initially described, he was always smiling, and was able to overcome any situation with force. I think there was a direction to make him more scary, as if you don't know what he's thinking, but, I got emotionally attached to Kaguragi and decided to make him more interesting, somewhere between "amusing" and "cool", I played the role while thinking that it would make his character come to life more, and that's how I ended up with the image of Kaguragi that you see now. Kamejim, the Bugnarak's Prime Minister, is a dark hearted character who's also a trickster, but, unlike Kamejim, Kaguragi is a more refreshing character. Instead of those around him saying, "(with a frown) He's a bad guy…" it's more like, "(with a look that says: I've been robbed) He's a bad guuuy!"

"As the story progresses, what new aspects of Kaguragi have you discovered?"

Kaku: In episode 8, when Gira and Racules were doing trial by combat, Kaguragi was supposed to give Racules an anesthetic disguised as poison, but, when Hymeno asked him if he had switched them, there was a scene where he turned his head and went, "Ho?" Director (Kyohei) Yamaguchi, who directed episode 8, told me to, "Make it easier to understand," and I did just that, and it was unexpectedly popular on set (laughs). I was worried that I might lose the character of Kaguragi, but the response to the broadcast was positive, and I realized that going in this direction was also acceptable. Episodes 1-5 were a period in which the framework of Kaguragi's character was established, and while the framework we created was important, we didn't want to stray too far from it. However, I thought that if I was too concerned about not wanting to change my original image, I wouldn't be able to expand the scope of my role.

"As the story progresses, we find out that he has a little sister named Suzume."

Kaku: I knew early on that I had a younger sister, and that she was being held in Shugoddam as a hostage, but I wasn't told how she ended up there. In episode 15, the scene where he talks to Suzume for the first time was depicted, but, if I had been acting in the image I had up until episode 5, I might have thought, "Is it okay for me to act so silly with my little sister?" I was able to act easily after playing the unusual role of Kaguragi for so long, and (Mami) Kamura-chan, who plays Suzume, is an excellent actor and is good at adlibs, so we can act and joke around with each other in a positive manner. I was led to believe that Suzume was gentle and had a sincere personality, but that's not the case at all, the character is more, "Like brother, like sister." They have the same core beliefs that everything they do is for the sake of their country. They're the perfect siblings for the country of Toufu, don't you think?

"What do you pay special attention to when acting?"

Kaku: In regards to facial expressions, I thought it'd be funny if I smiled during critical scenes, or, if I had a more serious look in a scene, people might think, "Is Kaguragi being cornered?" I try not to bore the audience with my performance. I want to be as funny as possible, but in serious scenes, I just have to go with the flow. I make sure to pay attention to that.

"Kaguragi is always a step ahead and planning strategies, but how far ahead does Kaku-san know?"

Kaku: I don't know anything (laughs). I only knew that Racules would be leaving, and that the new chapter would begin after episode 26. I act after understanding the developments of the story up to 2-3 episodes ahead of the one we're currently filming, then, I would get the script for the next few episodes and continue to work on the story. It's a process I'll repeat. Even in the scene where he and Racules are trying to figure out each other's true intentions, as part of his trickery, Kaguragi pretends not to know, even though he does know alot of things, while I myself don't know anything. Honestly, it's difficult to play the role this way. I wish they'd atleast tell me alittle more…(bitter smile).

"Masato Yano-san, who played the role of Racules, was said to be aware of what was going to happen in the future."

Kaku: He knows what'll happen to Racules, but he doesn't know anything about the other characters. Maybe he does know and is just keeping quiet (laughs).

"The battles between Kaguragi and Racules to find the other person's true intentions were always worth watching. Some fans said, "Just those scenes alone were like a night time drama."

Kaku: (laughs). I had alot of fun interacting with Racules. I knew alittle bit of what was going to happen, so I used my imagination to fill in the blanks, and I discussed the performance with Yano-chan. It was more like a negotiation than a discussion. We didn't talk much about the details, but I would watch Yano-chan's performance on set and think to myself that, "If that's how he's going to do it, then I'll do it too," and, "I see, so that's how it's going to be," and I played my role, thinking it was a good learning experience. It's nice to be called a, "Night time drama." I think it means that we were able to create a world for the 2 of us. Kaguragi has a very serious face for serious scenes, but in the scenes with Racules, he bluffs or makes exaggerated and dramatic facial expressions and movements, and I like these scenes because it gives off a sense of trickery, and expresses Kaguragi's true side.

"The scene in the film, "Adventure Heaven," which was released in July, in which Kaguragi and Iroki, the previous ruler of Toufu, confront each other, is also memorable."

Kaku: Hinagata Akiko-san played the role of Iroki, and I think it turned out to be a very good scene. Also in the film, the confrontation between the kings and their past hardships was the highlight of Kaguragi's performance.

"What do you feel is the most difficult when playing Kaguragi?"

Kaku: In the beginning, I had a hard time with the dubbing. Now, I'm quite used to it, and the other cast members are also getting alot better with their voices, and I'm always impressed at the speed in which they're growing. My comments are somewhat from a father's point of view, but since I'm older than the other main cast members, I can't help but feel this way (laughs).

"Can you name some of the most memorable scenes and lines of Kaguragi up to episode 26, which has aired by the time of this book's publication?"

Kaku: Episode 18 left a lasting impression on me overall. Particularly in the second half, when he and Gira cooperate to defeat the giant robot King-Ohger ZERO, which is piloted by Racules. When asked by Racules, "Was everything you did to take away my power?!," it became clear that Kaguragi himself was acting in a calculated way. The first half's, "He's unfair," is also memorable. When Gira tells me how Suzume is doing, and I ask, "What do you want in exchange for this information?" Gira replies, "Nothing." I was once again drawn in by Gira, who never asked for anything in return….It was a nice scene. Taking place in Toufu, Episode 4 is also very impressive. He's unmoved by Desnarak VIII, and dosen't show his true feelings, but, his expression changes the moment the crop fields are burned. I remember that scene well because it clearly showed Kaguragi's character, someone who values the country of Toufu and its citizens above all else.

"In episode 5, when the 5 kings fight together for the first time, Kaguragi says, "I've always believed that this day would come!," and it's funny to see Gira and the others yell at him with, "Liar!"

Kaku: I was happy that the other kings recognized me as a liar (laughs). Being a liar is one of the characteristics that define Kaguragi.

"If the kings are going to unite to fight against new enemies in the future, we feel like Kaguragi won't be able to showcase his individuality…"

Kaku: My own prediction is that the kings will break up atleast once. I have the impression that the royal Sentai aren't always on good terms. Therefore, I believe that Kaguragi's character will continue to be shown off. Also, if the enemy were to say, "We're going to destroy all the countries, but we'll save only one," Kaguragi will betray the other kings in an instant (laughs).

-Out of the 6 of us, I'm the, "Selfish king," that hogs the air conditioner-

"Now, we'd like to hear your impressions of the other kings surrounding Kaguragi. First, let's start with Gira."

Kaku: In episode 18, it's clear that Kaguragi is drawn towards and approves of him, as evidenced by the "He's unfair" line. However, some may think that he's easier to handle and hold in my grasp as opposed to Racules, so I like him because he's easier to deal with. Personally, I think he's cute (laughs). I think he gives off the strong feeling of a little brother.

"Please tell us about Yanma Gast and Hymeno Ran."

Kaku: There haven't been many opportunities for Kaguragi to interact with Yanma, but, Kaguragi understands that Yanma is smart, so if he wasn't able to manage himself well, he'd probably be thinking carefully when talking to Yanma. On the other hand, I think part of him feels that because Yanma's so smart, it's easier for him to plan ahead, or that his actions are easier to read than Gira's, which are based more on instinct. My impression of him is that he's passionate and cool! I liked the scene in episode 17, when he's falling apart, and says, "Don't you dare lose!," and Gira takes over. I think it's great that he's always so cool. The way he lives, the way he thinks, and even his actions have a certain charm to them that makes him a lovable character. Aoto, who plays the role, is also very cool. He's always on the scene as Yanma, or rather, he's always thinking about how Yanma would act in certain situations.

At one point, I thought that Hymeno and Kaguragi got along, but I think they probably don't like each other since the falling out in episode 8, where he went, "Ho?" (bitter smile). I hope they can talk things out and make up in the future… My impression is that she's simple and cute. She acts like a princess in every way, and even though she's selfish, that by itself is cute. Even still, the way she stands and acts in the battle scenes are powerful and cool. That kind of contrast is also wonderful.

"Next, Rita and Jeramie."

Kaku: Rita is also cool. When they're interacting with Moffun, I think the contrast is rather sly (laughs). I think Hirakawa Yuzuki-san, who plays the role, is very good with action. It must be difficult to move in those boots. From Kaguragi's perspective, they seem like a strict judge, and I think he perceives them as someone he'd like to have on his side somehow. In their relationship, Kaguragi visits Rita and tries to give them a gift. Rita doesn't want to accept it, but Kaguragi says, "Now, now, that just won't do," and forcibly hands it to them, pulling them into his own pace…that's the image I got from it. This is all just my imagination.

In episode 20, Kaguragi and Jeramie worked together to deceive Racules, and as a result, they revealed that Boshimar (Racules's close aide) was really Kamejim, and they've been fighting together ever since then. He also looks over the relationship between Kaguragi and Suzume, so I think they also have a good relationship. I think it's because of his parents unacceptable relationship, being between a human and Bugnarak, that Jeramie has a weakness for separated families, and he wants to support them. From my point of view, isn't he too good looking? I think he is. And that voice…it's really not fair. I'm talking about his actor, Masashi Ikeda-kun, who plays Jeramie, he's also good at soccer and plays the drums. (said earnestly) It's so unfair, isn't it?~…

"(laughs). We'd also like to hear your impressions of Kuroda-san, who's close to Kaguragi."

Kaku: From the beginning, I was told that Kaguragi was served by people dressed in black, but I wasn't told that there was one prominent member among them. From the viewer's point of view, I guess they wouldn't have expected such a person to exist, but gradually, Kuroda-san became more noticeable, and his relationship with Kaguragi began to be depicted. Kuroda-san is more like a family member than an aide. I think he's been by Kaguragi's side for a looong~ time. He's alittle older than me, and I think we've grown up together since we were children. He's capable of saying one word that'll resonate with Kaguragi's heart, and I think he's able to do so because he's always been watching over Kaguragi.

"Among the main cast members playing a king, who does Kaku-san feel is most kingly?"

Kaku: Hmmm, since the show was first announced, I've often been asked questions related to being a king, but I still can't come up with any good answers…If you think of a kingly image, "arrogant" or "selfish," may come to mind, but there's no in this cast that fits those terms. Everyone, they're all such good kids. But, I may have to say that I become selfish when the temperature rises. I'm sensitive to the heat, and since I'm wearing such a costume, I tend to hog all the places where an air conditioner is running, or, I turn the temperature down really low and tell the others not to turn it up, even if they're cold (laughs). If I were to consider the most kingly character as a leader who pulls everyone along, I would say it's Taisei. Calling him charismatic would be abit of an exaggeration, but, even if he's lacking in certain areas, he's good in others, and he has a certain atmosphere to him that brings everyone together. People around him want to support him just like Gira, and maybe even carry him up in a holy palanquin. In that sense, he's like a king.

"What scenes would you like to play in the future?"

Kaku: It would be a scene where I take off my costume and show off my body. Actually, I've already told the staff what I want to do, but if it's going to happen, I'd like to know as soon as possible. I'd like to finish my body first. And then, a twin episode (laughs). Within the Super Sentai series, often times there are episodes where someone who looks exactly like a character appears and swaps places. Since the first part of King-Ohger ended with episode 26, we didn't have room for that kind of story, but, it may be possible now. I have a twin brother who looks exactly like me, so I'd like to make the most of that. He's not an actor, but he says he'd be happy to act in the show if it were to happen (laughs). Also, Taisei himself is a very interesting character, so I hope there'll be a time when we can make use of him. That boy, after all, he shines the brightest when he's just messing around. That's something he's admitted to himself and others. Also, I'd like to see Rita being more expressive. In the film, it was ghosts, and in episode 26, they're depicted as being afraid of the dark, but I think there's another side to them that we don't know about, so I hope we're given a close up. Hirakawa-san herself is frightened easily, and when I tell her a slightly scary story, she screams, "Please stop it!" (laughs).

"Finally, Kaku-san, as episode 26 finishes, please give a yell of support to Kaguragi."

Kaku: I think Toufu will probably be in danger again (laughs), so you may have to deceive your friends in order to protect the country. I also think that Suzume will be entering a difficult time in her life. But, please don't be discouraged and do your best!

Ikeda Masashi (Jeramie Brasieri) Interview

-I like talking, but I'm not used to talking to other people-

"In the beginning, what kind of character was Jeramie and how was he explained to you?"

Ikeda: He’s 2,000 years old, so he has foresight and plenty of time to waste, and was born between a human and a Bugnarak. When I asked…I was told that he can manipulate spider webs at will. It was also explained to me at the beginning that he's the storyteller of the world's story and will also narrate the show.

"In episode 11, we got goosebumps hearing, "A man who becomes king, this is my story," in the ending narration.

Ikeda: I was also surprised when I read the script. It was an original concept, so I was looking forward to seeing the end result on screen.

"Based on the description you received, how did you approach the character?"

Ikeda: When I read the script, there were many unique lines and inflections, so the first thing I thought about was how to express them. I'd record different ways of speaking, listen back, and then decided that the stuck up way of saying things were the most interesting. The premise is that Jeramie likes to talk about himself and the stories he's created. So, when I talk to someone, I try to look like I'm having fun and enjoying myself more than anyone else. I think it'll lead to expressions with more composure. I was also conscious of the way I walked, my gestures, and appearance in general so that I could develop a habit of being Jeramie. The most difficult part of the role was that his mother is a Bugnarak, and that his emotions are different from those of a normal human. I wondered, “What would it feel like if my own parents were Bugnarak?” In the beginning, I couldn't comprehend it no matter how much I thought about it, so I just kept imagining memories of my mother that weren't depicted in the show. Even still, it was difficult for me to find feelings for the Bugnarak, or rather, affection for non human beings. I also wondered how he'd seen the world over the past 2,000 years and what he'd been thinking about when he wrote his story. There are many aspects of Jeramie that are not depicted in the show's script, so I had to really think about it. Even now, I still do.

"Did you make any new discoveries while exploring further, or did you have to revise your performance over the course of the episodes?"

Ikeda: When he first made his appearance, he always said the words, "Between the lines" (laughs), and I just felt that he was someone who wasn't used to having conversations with others. But as times went on, I came to realize that Jeramie was truly a genuine and honest person. I felt that this is why he reacts to many things in a more genuine way than anyone else, and shows it most in his facial expressions. As Jeramie gets more involved with the 5 kings, he changes and grows, becoming alot more careful about communicating clearly between the lines. Every time I'm given a new script, a new side of Jeramie's character is depicted, and I feel like he's constantly being updated. Despite being 2,000 years old, he's never socialized before. The first big change was that he took off the mask he'd been wearing in episode 11, and I think we can all agree that he started a new life from that moment on. At that time, if you were to interpret it as Jeramie being reborn, he's still like a baby, so it's only natural that he'll continue to grow everyday. There are new changes every time, and thinking of ways to express them is both fun and a challenge. In that sense, I'm grateful for the role of Jeramie, as it gives me a sense of fulfillment as an actor.

"The symbolic color of Jeramie is white, and Ikeda-san personally loves white, so he wore a white outfit to the audition."

Ikeda: I matched everything in white, which might be hard to imagine (laughs). My shoes, pants, shirt, cardigan, and jacket were all white. I wore a white coat over it all. I like white, but I had never dressed myself up this much. But, I wanted to give it a shot, so I auditioned completely white. And with the role I got, his getup was even whiter than mine. Jeramie's costume is really cool. When I stood in front of the mirror for the first time wearing Jeramie's costume, with my hair and makeup all done, I thought, "Who's this?" (laugh). I'd never had the opportunity to wear such a prince like costume before, and I don't think I ever will again. Every time I go to filming, I'll wear it while thinking about how happy it makes me.

"Do you have any difficulties narrating the show? We've heard that you don't like hearing your own voice…"

Ikeda: Every time I do the narration, it's given the OK for airing, but I've never been satisfied with any of the ones I've recorded. There's alot of trial and error each time I record, but I don't feel like I'm getting a good reaction. I think I still have a long way to go, so I'm going to keep working hard.

"Every time we listen, we think you have a nice voice."

Ikeda: Thank you so much. It's very encouraging to hear you say that. But, being a storyteller means I can see every detail, and that I also know how the story will end, so I can feel the difficulty of it all. Some episodes have a closing narration at the end, and I do like those lines because they're cool. Is it the narration as a storyteller? or is it the voice of Jeramie's heart in that scene…? I think you'll enjoy the show more if you watch it while interpreting things in many different ways.

"As of the publication of this book, episode 26 will have aired, but please tell us about any scenes or lines featuring Jeramie that are memorable."

Ikeda: It would be episodes 24-26. Those 3 episodes were a turning point in Jeramie's life, where he felt the same realization of growth, maybe even more so, than when he took off his mask. All of the scenes and lines are memorable. In episode 24, when Boone discovers that his fear of Bugnarak is based on a legendary story he wrote, Jeramie is stunned, saying, "Common sense, rules, prejudice, discrimination, bigotry…I was the one who created them…" I was just as shocked when I read it in the script. The legend of the royal Sentai doesn't state that the Bugnarak did anything wrong. But, reading the text, "5 heroes and their guardian god King-Ohger defeated the Bugnarak and saved mankind," would make anyone believe that the Bugnarak are bad guys. I was impressed by how well done it was, and Jeramie seemed to enjoy talking about it, that I almost felt like saying, "It's no good!," in a forced way. In episode 25, the conversation with Gerojim was memorable. He says, "What you lack is determination!" Jeramie responds, "Follow me…to the In between Land Bugnarak. You'll be the first citizen." I'll never forget it because it was the moment when Jeramie decided that he was ready to become the king of Bugnarak. From then on, I'd be playing Jeramie as a king, so the scene was a turning point as well. In episode 26, there's the scene where Jeramie is entrusted by Desnarak VIII, saying, "You will be king, and they will accept it. That the Bugnarak, are here…!" In the 3 episodes beginning with episode 24, it's revealed that Desnarak had alot of things on his mind when he was king, and Jeramie inherits that. Now, I have all these feelings regarding Desnarak, that when I first read the script, I cried. And also, there's the narration before the opening of episode 24. It was different from the usual wording, so it's stayed with me.

-I like Kaguragi, as he's someone with alot of space between the lines-

"Now, please tell us about the characters that surround Jeramie. First, let's start with Gira."

Ikeda: From Jeramie's point of view, I think he trusted Gira from the beginning, and for the time after the broadcast of episode 26, I think he genuinely thinks he's a good person, more suitable as the king of Shugoddum than anyone ever was. The impression I have is….he's cute. He's pure, and when I look at him, I often wonder, "What's he up to?" In episode 15, he camouflages himself as a taxi that looks like a pillbug (laughs). But, I think him being straightforward to protect his people is really cool.

"How about Yanma?"

Ikeda: Jeramie understands that, just like Gira, Yanma is a good king. On the other hand, we know that he's abit of a bad boy, and in episode 19, just like a bunch of bad boys, we joined forces to get some payback on Racules, who treated Jeramie and the other kings cruelly in the past. At that time, I think Jeramie went along with Yanma's plan because he trusted him and realized he was his friend. Yanma always reacts when Jeramie says something. It must be nice for Jeramie, a storyteller who wants someone to listen to him. As for me, I have the impression that he's a passionate guy. I think he fits well with the title "President" of the N'kosopa citizens.

"Now then, how about Hymeno Ran. She and Jeramie had abit of a dispute over the issue of the "Wrath of God."

Ikeda: At first, Jeramie called Hymeno, "Young lady," but, in episode 14, when he saw Hymeno promise to the girl in Ishabana that she would keep their country beautiful, he acknowledged her as queen. Jeramie doesn't look down on the other kings just because he's older. He did used to treat Desnarak like a kid and provoked him (laughs), but he sees all of the human kings as equals and trusts them. Of course he trusts Hymeno, and I think that's why he asked for Gerojim's test. And my own impression is that she's just so beautiful. Not only in terms of appearance, such as the costumes and hairstyles, but also in terms of strength, so I think she's beautiful on the inside as well.

"Next, tell us about Rita Kaniska."

Ikeda: I have a feeling that Jeramie trusts Rita like any other king, but also thinks that they're cute. Sometimes Rita screams real loudly. Towards the climax of episode 19, they screamed, and while everyone was surprised, only Jeramie was laughing. He saw a human side of Rita and smiled, knowing that there must be a side of them that they've yet to show everyone. Because they trust him, even if they suspect something from him, Jeramie feels safe when they take him to court. But, then again, Jeramie's put on trial alot, isn't he? (laughs). Also, there are so many things that Rita makes him realize. For example, in episode 14, they explained to him why Hymeno was angry, because he wasn't able to read between the lines. And when he was down, Rita gave him a chance to get back on his feet. For me, I think Rita is just too cool. When they transform, their right eye, which is usually hidden by their hair, is revealed…and it's gray colored. I love situations in manga and anime where a person reveals something that's usually hidden and goes into a stronger mode. So, Rita's eye isn't fair! (laughs), and yet, they also have the cuteness to talk to their plushies…I think they’re a wonderful characters.

"Please also tell us about Kaguragi."

Ikeda: From Jeramie's point of view, I think he has slightly deeper feelings towards him than the other kings. That's because, he knows about his sister. Because of Jeramie's own upbringing, he can't leave people who care about their family alone. In episode 15, when he finds out that his sister is being held hostage in Shugoddam, he takes the lead in helping Kaguragi, and in episode 20, when he hears that he's doing it for his sister, he helps out by disguising himself as Kaguragi. Kaguragi has also relied on Jeramie, and I think they communicate with each other more than with other kings. I think there's something about Kaguragi that I really like about him, and I feel that he has a story that's, "between the lines," more than mine is. That's why I interact with him alittle differently than the other 4. As a viewer, he must be an interesting character to watch. Just when I think I've got him figured out, he outwits me. It's hard to read what he's really thinking. I think he adds a good "spice" that makes the show more interesting.

"At this point in time, Gerojim is probably the closest to Jeramie, so we'd like to ask about him too."

Ikeda: He's the first citizen of the new Bugnarak Empire. While they meet in a different way compared to the other kings and their retainers, Jeramie trusts him, and a sort of friendship formed between them, while also having a strong desire to protect him. In episode 25, Gerojim risks his body to make Jeramie realize that he lacks the determination to be king. In episode 13, Jeramie saves him by pretending to have defeated him and brought him along, but back then, I never thought that he would end up playing such an important role. With such a voice, he says, "What you lack is determination!," and, "If you're going to be king, you must be prepared to risk your life," so I can't believe his way of speaking…

"He's voiced by Seki Tomokazu-san."

Ikeda: During filming, I would act with Seki-san's voice in mind, and when I heard his actual voice in the finished video, it's always better than what I had imagined. We haven't had a dubbing scheduled together, but I'd like for us to perform together someday. Everyone always imitates Gerojim's voice on set. I'm so emotionally attached to Gerojim, that I can no longer look at him objectively, but I'm curious about how everyone else sees him.

"Other than Gerojim, are there any other Bugnarak characters that you really like?"

Ikeda: It would probably be Desnarak. But, I really like Prime Minister Kamejim as well. I changed my mind when I found out that he was disguised as Boshimar, one of Racules's close aides (laughs), but he was a beloved character on the set until half way through filming.

"Among the main cast, Ikeda-san, who do you think is most kingly?"

Ikeda: It would be (Masato) Yano-san, who plays Racules. When he's playing the role of Racules, he's a very cruel king, but when I talk to him inbetween takes, he's calm and has a relaxed way of speaking. Yano-san himself is very kind and will say interesting things to keep everyone upbeat. Furthermore, he has alot of special skills and can do almost anything. For me, Yano-san is a king in the sense that he's perfect and someone who is respected. Racules is a king, but the person playing him is also a king. Not for me, but when the 5 King-Ohger members put on their costumes and prepare for their role on set, the "switch" is flipped and they all become kings. The scenes where they're all lined up is so cool that you can't help but admire them.

"Are there any scenes you'd like to play, or developments you'd like to see happen in the future?"

Ikeda: In episode 19, the hammock that Jeramie was laying in was made from spider webs. I'd like to do more scenes using spider webs even before transforming. Especially for action. While his friends are in danger, he could fly in from off screen while smiling, or he could be standing on a wall. It would be difficult to achieve, but there aren't many roles that can make use of spider webs.

"Finally, for the current Jeramie, Ikeda-san, please give a yell of support to him."

Ikeda: Please build a good country, and work hard to make the world a peaceful one. For Jeramie, the "color" of the country he rules over is different from other kings, and I believe that Jeramie will be the one who determines the future of Chikyu. Please ensure the prosperity of the country of Bugnarak, realize the day we join hands with humanity, and pass it on to future generations. We're all supporting you!

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qqueenofhades · 1 year

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would you ever write a modern/no-powers au for dreamling/sandman?

"Look, Mee," Hob says, for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "I'm sure your brother is, uh, great, but I'm not sure -- "

"Come on," his best friend says, also for the fourth or fifth time that conversation. "Honestly, you'd be doing me a massive favor. I can barely get him out of the house most days, so I figured that at least the two of you could faff off and be really pathetic together?"

"Thanks." Hob switches the phone to his other ear and glares suspiciously out at the garden; when you've got two small children and it's quiet, you figure something's gone terribly amiss. Robyn and Alison haven't burnt the place down or gotten run over in traffic, but they're playing with something small, muddy and possibly still alive, and Hob debates whether he has to sprint out and save them from certain death. "You're a great friend, truly."

"I know," Morticia says airily. That does, bewilderingly, seem to be her actual name (were her parents massive Addams Family fans or something?) but with Hob and the rest of her friends, she generally goes by Mors, or Mee for short. He looked it up once. Ancient Roman god(dess) of death, which made him laugh, at least when it didn't kick him in the teeth. "You can thank me later."

"And I want to spend time with your brother... why?"

"Because." Oh God, here it comes. He can hear her trying not to say it, the same way everyone's tried not to say it in the going-on-eighteen months since his wife went into an ordinary central-London NHS hospital to give birth to their second child and didn't come back out. "You know it would be good for you, Robbie."

"Right." Hob's voice turns wry. "Can't have me wallowing alone in my misery? You know I've got the kids to look after, and they're talking about extending my contract at Birkbeck. I'm keeping busy."

Keeping busy. It always sounds stupid, even if it's the truth. Like you can chase overwhelming, soul-crushing grief away just by getting out of bed and making breakfast for the kids, holding Robyn's hand as you trundle off on the school run and tell him to have a good day, the thousand and one ways you think you're massively arsing this up and Ellie would have been so much better. Every time the doorbell rings or someone comes up the walk, he thinks -- for a stupid moment he thinks -- and then of course it isn't. You think about women dying in childbirth like it's something out of medieval times, or some third-world country. Not in England in the twenty-first century. Not in London. Not as if your daughter is beautiful and bright and alive, and every time you look at her, you remember that her mother isn't, and the happiness you feel is poisoned by grief again, cold and blue and endless as the ocean. You laugh with the kids at some Disney cartoon one moment, and the next, you're crying alone in the kitchen, in bed, in the silent darkness. And no matter how much you ask, she doesn't answer. You think she does, sometimes. You're just fooling yourself.

You know, Hob thinks. Maybe it would be good for him. At least it would let him spend time with (if Mee's account is anything to go by) the one man in all of London more pathetic than him. It doesn't have to be anything more than that. Even if she is trying to set him up, she wouldn't admit it. She isn't, surely? Trying to match her brother off with her best friend, widowed-single-dad-part-time-lecturer who's clinging onto sanity by the bare edge of his fingernails? Right? Fuck. Should never have told her that he's bi. Doubled her meddling possibilities at a stroke. And yet. He's so lonely, he almost doesn't care.

"Fine," Hob says resignedly. "I'll see if I can get a sitter for the kids. And it better not be that grotty brewery in Shepherd's Bush you dragged me to last time."

"No." Mee sounds like she's laughing at him. She probably is laughing at him, or else she thinks he's become such a pathologically undatable freak that his only chance for happiness ever again is with her equally pathetic little brother. "Nice new Asian-fusion place. Hammersmith. Fifteen minutes from you on the Tube. Don't chicken out, Robert."

And with that, well --

There's pretty much no choice.

Hob finds a sitter for the kids, promises to pay her twenty quid an hour (it's London, after all), and grumblingly picks out some clothes. He's not good at this. It's been almost ten years since he was dating anyone, and Eleanor was from a rich enough family that there was no chance of ever impressing her parents; he could have turned up in anything from Savile Row to a bloody dishcloth and they still would have hated him. Then he finds himself fucking around to the point where he's going to be late, the Tube will be a nightmare anyway, and panics again and rushes out the door with barely a word about what to feed the kids and when to put them to bed. Is nice Olivia from down the street judging him? She almost surely is.

Hob grimly toddles off to Hammersmith, exits into a light rain, and spends an inordinate amount of time searching for the restaurant. When he finally steps inside, he's not quite sure who he's looking for. Mee texted him a picture of her brother, but Hob has trouble believing that such a pale, pasty, and terminally uncharismatic twink could ever be related to her. One of them has to be adopted, and he's laying money on this one, whose name is -- no, seriously -- Morpheus. Morticia and Morpheus. What is wrong with their parents? Determined to doom their children to an eternity of primary-school torment?

Hob contemplates turning around and leaving, but now he's come this far, Olivia will definitely judge him if he returns within the hour, and frankly, he's judging himself. Even worse, he's fairly sure he's just spotted his man. Morpheus (come on, really?) is sitting by himself at a corner table, looking appropriately dark and broody, in his emo-goth dark coat and toilet-brush hair. Just like the photo. He's admittedly not bad-looking in person; he's got a pale, chiseled beauty that is briefly arresting, almost unearthly. Still, though. Definitely a wanker.

"Hello," Hob says, deciding to bite the bullet. He strides over, hand outstretched. "I'm Robert Gadling, and I think you're the bloke I'm supposed to be meeting? I know your sister."

Morpheus's mouth makes a small lemon-sucking motion. He rises to his feet, regards Hob's hand as if not certain what to do with it and/or wondering if he can get away with not touching it, and finally shakes it, brief and cold and dry. "I am," he says curtly. "You may sit."

Well, good. Glad they got His Majesty's permission. No unauthorized sitting happening here, no sir. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Hob puts his bag on the floor and slides into the chair across from Morpheus. Like every Londoner at a loss for a better opening line, he reaches for the weather. "Shame about this piss, isn't it? And it was all the way up to twenty degrees last week. Did you have to come far?"

"No," Morpheus says, still not displaying any particular delight in being forced to spend this evening in the presence of another human being and looking as if he is very much hoping the floor will suddenly open up and swallow him. "Not far."

Hob waits, in vain, on the chance that Morpheus might elaborate. He does not. Well. This is going swimmingly. Are they on a date? Did Mee tell him that they were on a date? Is Hob sure this isn't an extremely elaborate prank, and she just plucked one of her single friends from the vast and bewildering mystery of her acquaintances? Truly, it is no wonder that Morpheus is, in fact, unattached. He's got the personality of a soggy rag and the face of -- well, not that. He is pretty. But Hob is not that shallow. Thanks very much.

Conversation suffers badly until they order drinks and food; or rather Hob orders, and Morpheus says that he'll take just a glass of wine. He does loosen up slightly as they talk; Hob does most of that, but Morpheus listens with cool, intent attention. From time to time he asks a question, but he doesn't interrupt, and finally Hob, trying to make it as light-hearted as "my wife died eighteen months ago and this is the first not-date I've been on ever since" can possibly be, admits it. He braces for Morpheus to get up, to run, to fire off an indignant text to Morticia or anything else, but he doesn't. He just nods once. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I know that it is... difficult."

All of a sudden, Hob is forced to consider the startling and unsettling possibility that Morpheus himself knows something about this. He can't say why or how that might be, but life is full of mysteries. "I -- yeah." It's an abject relief to say it and to have someone acknowledge it simply and matter-of-factly, not smother him with sympathy or cluck about how hard it is. "So if I'm off my game, that, uh. That's why."

Morpheus thinks about that for a long moment. Then all at once, out of nowhere, he smiles. It completely transforms his face, it twists like a fishhook in Hob's gut, and all of a sudden, he wonders in alarm if he is, in fact, entirely that shallow after all. "Believe me, Hob Gadling," Morpheus says. "It has very much been my pleasure."

#anonymous #ask #fic prompts #dreamling #dreamling ff

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allthingsfangirl101 · 9 months

Text

Caught And In Trouble – Steve Harrington

Wattpad Request by i45e679

It should've been weird that I was dating my sister's ex-boyfriend. I didn't mean for it to happen. And to be fair, I had feelings for him long before she even met him. Steve and I were in the same year at school so I've known him since kindergarten. We didn't interact much.

Actually, we didn't interact at all. Not until he and Robin walked into the video store, asking for a job. After Keith hired them, I had a lot of shifts with him. At first, Steve was uncomfortable around me. I wasn't surprised. About three years ago, he dated my younger sister, who broke up with him. Not to mention he risked his life several times to protect my younger brother.

After Steve's first week, I couldn't handle the tension anymore. He wouldn't look at me. He'd barely talk to me. We couldn't keep working like this so I forced him to talk to me. In our conversation, I told him that I didn't care what happened between him and Nancy. He felt better when I said that he was right, not Nancy.

Two months later, Steve and I were working the closing shift. Robin had brought some "medicine" for me. Steve and I ended up smoking it in the supply closet. Sometime between halfway through and done, we ended up making out - heavily making out.

The next day, I avoided him. Wherever he was, I wasn't. If he was accepting a shipment, I was busy helping a customer. When he was checking someone out, I was restocking the returns. It worked until closing.

Before I could leave, Steve stopped me and asked if we could talk about it. Neither one of us started the conversation at first. Finally, Steve blurted that he had feelings for me. I then blurted out that I had feelings for him.

Then came the issue of Nancy.

Instead of dealing with it, we ignored it. We planned to not tell anyone about us. It actually hasn't been that hard. Mike was focused on maintaining his long-distance relationship with El. Nancy was focused on the school paper.

Plus, we worked together so we didn't have to sneak out to be together. We just covered it with work. We took turns bringing or picking up lunch for each other. When one of us was working and the other wasn't, we stopped by. Date nights were nights that we had to do inventory or had a late delivery.

The only person who knew was Robin. She caught on after a week of us constantly switching shifts so we could work together. She didn't like the idea of keeping a secret, but it only took her seeing one of our lunch dates to keep our secret.

I was in the middle of restocking the candy when I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist and start kissing my neck. It was 11 o'clock on a Wednesday. Weekdays weren't very busy.

"You should know," I teased as he continued to make out with my neck, "my boyfriend is grabbing something from the back room and he's gonna be pissed."

"Oh?"

"Yep," I smiled as Steve turned me toward him. "My boyfriend is hella protective."

"Is he?" Steve continued to play along as he pulled me closer and slid his hands down my back.

"Mmhmm," I hummed. I moaned when he reached my ass and squeezed it. "And he has an extremely short temper."

"I do not," he defended himself. I sent him a look that made him laugh. "Okay, fine. I have a short temper. Especially when it comes to someone messing with my girl."

Steve glanced around the empty shop and turned back to me with a playful smirk on his face. I knew exactly what he was going to do, but before I could tell him not to do it, he did it.

He leaned down and kissed me. I knew we shouldn't be doing this at work, but I didn't care. Ever since Steve and I started dating, things have felt easy. Except for the lying to everyone we love part.

We didn't bother to break the kiss as Steve moved us to the back room. He leaned down and picked me up, putting me on the table.

"Steve," I moaned against his mouth, "baby, the store."

He broke the kiss and moved to my neck. He kissed up my neck until he got to my ear. "The store has only been open an hour," he said against my skin. "You know that no one ever comes before 3 o'clock. Plus, it's Wednesday. So, game on."

I gasped when he roughly pressed his lips back to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in between my legs. He grabbed my right one and massaged my thigh as we continued to make out.

Steve broke the kiss and went back to kissing my neck. I moaned as his lips started pushing my v-neck lower. I arched my back, throwing my head back as he got as close to my chest as he could.

"What the shit?!"

We gasped, pulling apart when someone yelled. We looked over to see Mike frozen in the doorway.

"Mike," I stuttered. "I can explain."

"Wow," he said, glaring at me. "Wow, Y/N. I never thought you'd betray your family."

Before I could say anything, Mike turned around and ran out of the store. My eyes burned as I tried to figure out what to do.

"You okay?" Steve whispered.

"This is bad," I mumbled. "Really bad, Steve."

"He's just surprised," he tried to make me feel better. "Give him some time. He'll calm down."

* * * * *

Steve was wrong. Mike didn't calm down. As soon as I got home from work, Mike was gone. He spent the entire week at Dustin's. Every time I called, Mike refused to answer. Steve even tried to go over to Dustin's house but Dustin told him that Mike didn't want to talk.

I went to work at the end of that week exhausted. I ignored Robin as I walked into the back and put my bag in my locker. I closed it and leaned my forehead against it.

"Hey, you," Steve whispered as he walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. "How are you?"

"Horrible," I said, my voice breaking. "Mike still won't talk to me. Dustin and Lucas can't talk to me because Mike won't let them."

"Have you talked to Nancy?"

"No," I sighed. "But I heard Mike telling her the night he found out. I didn't hear her response."

"Y/N. . ."

"We should get back to work," I said, pulling out of his embrace. I went through the rest of my shift with my stomach in knots. While restocking the kid's movies someone walked up to me.

"Welcome to Family Video," I recited. "What can I do for. . ."

I cut myself off when I turned around and saw Nancy fixing her shirt. "What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I figured we should talk," she said lightly.

"Look," I started even though I had no idea how to finish this.

"Let me go first," she cut me off. "I'm okay."

"You're what?"

"I'm okay with you and Steve dating," she continued. "Steve and I were over long ago. We're just friends and if you care about him then I support you guys."

I didn't know how to respond. Instead of saying anything, I wrapped her in a hug. She laughed as she hugged me back.

"You're really okay with this?"

We pulled out of our hug and saw Steve walking out of the back office. Nancy looked between me and him and smiled. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said. "Besides, it's clear that you guys are a better couple than we ever were. Plus, you make my sister happy. How can I be upset?"

"Thanks, Nancy," Steve sighed. He sent me a wink before heading to the front desk to help a customer.

"Hey," Nancy said, lowering her voice. "Mike is being stupid, okay? He just needs to calm down."

"I guess," I said, wrapping my arms around myself. "But how long will that take?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "He wasn't too happy when I dated Steve. And with you now dating him. . . Mike is just confused and angry that you kept a secret. Give him time."

Later that night, Steve was in the back accepting a delivery. I was checking the returns for damages. Suddenly the bell above the door rang.

"Sorry, we're closed."

"We need to talk."

I looked up to see Mike standing in the doorway. "Hey," I said under my breath.

"I'm sorry about the other day," he forced out. "I didn't love that Steve and Nancy were together and then I found out you had started dating him. It was weird but. . . I talked to Steve."

"Wait, what?"

"Steve came by the house the other day," Mike explained. "He told me that things were different between you two. He promised me that this was for real."

"So you're okay?" I asked slowly.

"Yes," he nodded. He quickly added, "As long as I don't have to see or hear anything."

"I promise," I chuckled. "Thank you, Mikey."

Mike hugged me before leaving. I started chewing on my bottom lip as I wondered what Steve could've possibly said to my brother.

"You okay?"Steve asked as he walked back into the store. I turned around and ran toward him. He laughed as I jumped into his arms.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?"

I pulled out of our hug and looked up at him. "Mike stopped by," I explained. "He said you talked to him. I don't know what you said to him, but thank you."

"Of course," he shrugged as he moved some hair out of my face. "It was killing me that you were struggling so much. I couldn't have my girl blaming herself."

"Thank you," I whispered again. I bit my lip before forcing myself to confess to him. "I love you, Steve."

Steve leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine. I tightened my arms around him as I kissed him back.

"I love you too, Y/N."

#steve harrington imagines #steve x reader #steve harrington #stranger things imagine #strang #joe keery x reader #joe keery

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fxchild · 1 year

Text

The Switch

Miles Fairchild x fem!reader

Chapter seven: So now you're back?

A note from Fxchild ! Hi hi so ya I am not dead ! My phone lit broke and I totes forgot my email for this acc but now I'm back and my writers block has never gone away so quickly ! I'm so excited for new chapters to b out soon ! In the meantime while you r waiting for chapters, if you have one shot ideas for characters Finn Wolfhard plays I would b more than happy to write those so you guys aren't waiting forever for a new chapter ! So...finally heres the well awaited chapter seven ! I hope you enjoy this <3

It's the first day of May. It's also been three months since Miles left again. I keep telling Flora that he'll be back soon but I feel my heart break every time I lie to her. I don't think he will be back until I leave for the summer and then he'll leave again when I come back. I feel so guilty..Flora doesn't have a brother that lives with her because of me. But was it all really my fault? He treats me like shit and expects me to tolerate it. Never mind. I don't give a flying fuck about him anymore. He can do whatever he wants, if something happens to him, oh boo hoo not my problem.

It was finally Friday which means I have tomorrow off and I only have to teach Flora a little today because the weather was perfect for horseback riding and I'd promise to let her out today. Today I wore a dark red top with dark grey jeans with black high top shoes. I put my hair in a half up half down clip and did minimal makeup because I was planning on recording myself for an upcoming interview I have for a summer job.

Today I planned out a written test to see Flora's knowledge on geography. I would give her a half an hour to finish up on review and two hours for the test. The test was fairly easy so it shouldn't take her more than an hour or so.

"And begin." I smiled at Flora, setting my timer on my desk which is right across from hers. She immediately begins to read and write down answers while I look over her past work to grade.

Around 45 minutes into the session we hear the front door open. Flora pays no attention to it, I assume it's Ms. Grose coming in from cutting grass or buying groceries so I ignore it and go back to reading old assignments. Around a few minutes went by when I heard footsteps coming to the room. Expecting Ms. Grose I take my feet off the desk and fix my posture without looking at the door. I pretend to be in deep thought with grading when I hear someone clear their throat and hear Flora shout,

"Miles!" She screeches and jumps from her seat running over to hug him. I immediately turn my whole body in my chair with wide eyes. His hair slightly longer and he looks a little taller. He still has the same smirk and dead eyes I saw the night he left. He had on a black coat that ran down to his knees and two bags in his hands that he must have taken when he left. He engulfs Flora into a hug and smiles down at her. I've never seen that smile before. Unlike the ones he had given me this one was warm and loving. I think I had given him that smile before but I wasn't sure. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he looked up at me and smiled. It was genuine, his eyes brightened. I knew it was real because it wasn't that same old smirk he put on with confidence, he looked painfully awkward and his eyes kept darting between me and the wooden floor. I didn't smile back. I rose up from my seat and walked over to him.

"Flora, why don't you take Miles bags and put them in his room for him sweetheart?" I smiled down at her while patting her hair. She gladly accepts and runs off with his bags. Miles smiles at me again nodding opening his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"How you been Miles? Where'd you go this time huh? Was it fun?" I say with a sarcastic fake smile, he could tell I was mad.

"Well I-" He begins as I slap his face.

"You scared the shit out of me! Do you know how upset Flora was? She cried for almost a week, blaming herself, poor girl!" I say gritting my teeth with my eyes starting to tear up slightly.

He stared at me with pursed lips before sighing and answering. "He told me to."

I scoff and look at him dumbfounded. "He? Wh-who the hell is 'he' Miles huh? What are you schizo?" I roll my eyes annoyed

"Nobody-nothing. I just..had a dream that's all." He shakes his head staring down at the floor with shame.

"Whatever Miles." I roll my eyes and walk over to Flora's desk to pick up her finished test. "Better go find Flora. Told her she could get out of class early to go ride the horses." I say looking through her test without looking up at Miles.

"You're not gonna come?" He asks quietly, nodding his head to the side, scratching the back of his neck.

I chuckle quietly before placing the test back on the desk. "After the last time?" I walk over to him, picking a pine needle off his jacket. "No thanks." I fake smile before walking out of the room to my own. When I reach my room I fall flat onto my bed before letting out a loud sigh into my pillow. A few minutes later I look out the window. I see Flora and Miles running to the stables and shouting happily. I turn to look at my Calendar, 30 days until I leave. I got sick of sitting in my room bored and decided to go do something, anything in his boring place.

I walk into the kitchen hoping there's an apple or some food sitting out but instead of being greeted with food, it's an unbearable Ms. Grose. I smile at her but she crosses her arms and frowns at me.

"Why are you being so unpleasant towards Miles?" She grits her teeth. "What are you talking about?" I ask trying to pretend I have no clue what's going on. "Talking to him in such an arrogant tone, not accepting his offer and you still wonder why he left? You should be shamed." She spits at me coldly. My face dropped as I start to feel tears in the corners of my eyes.

I quickly ran back up to my room and slam the door. Tears start to stream down my face as I grab my backpack and start shoving stuff into my bag. By the time I zipped it up I hear the front door open again. I quickly put my shoes back on and started heading down the stairs. Walking towards the door I'm wiping my tears, Miles blocks my path.

"Woah woah! Where are you going?" He asks with a concerned look on his face, his hands falling to my shoulders. "Out." I reply while sniffling trying to push past him.

"Um okay, when are you coming back?" He lets go of me, now following me out the door. "I don't know..like..tomorrow? Sunday maybe?" I continue to walk away from him to my car. "Tell me where in case you get black out drunk again and need me to pick you up." He scoffs grabbing onto my wrist.

"You know what Miles? You won't have to worry about me anymore! I won't bother you. It's clear I make you want to leave and you hate me so I'll just leave you alone okay?! Is that what you wa-"

He cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine. It was soft and quick, like he was trying to shut me up and this was the first thing he thought of. He lets go of my wrist and stands up straight looking at me sternly. My cheeks are burning red as I attempt to say something but I can't seem to speak, like there's no air in my lungs.

I lean up against my car door for a moment staring at my feet trying to decide whether to leave or not. I finally look up at him, his head in staring at my feet too. His hands are in his pockets and he's biting his bottom lip nervously. I smile up at him.

"Hey..I'll be back in a little while. I promise I won't make you pick me up this time. Want me to grab you something?" I softly smile, hoping he won't hate me. He shakes his head no with a small smile on his face before letting me get into his car. He watches me drive off before heading back inside.

'29 days..' I whisper to myself as I head into the nearest town, smiling to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was extremely rushed so my apologies if it wasn't as great as one of my last chapters ! I promise the next chapter will b better and have more of a plot than this one. Hope you guys liked this and r excited for the next chapter!

#fanfic #miles fairchild #miles fairchild x reader #the turning #finn wolfhard #the switch #miles fairchild smut #stranger things #mike wheeler #ziggy katz #richie tozier #trevor spengler #boris pavlikovsky #fxchild

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tangledinink · 1 year

Note

Question about your Teenage Mutant What Now AU!

Has Leo always just been in puberty blockers since forever? Because I'm assuming he never had a period in his life because, well, reptiles menstruation is laying eggs

Kinda! I've actually thought about this a lot because I had the same question and went back and forth on it for a while. tldr; Leo has been on puberty blockers for the past three+ years and has never had a full menstrual cycle, but he does menstruate rather than lay eggs, at least when he's under the effect of his bracelet. Further details abt Leo's trans experience and how the cloaking crystals work below!

Leo has been on puberty blockers since he turned twelve and went on them before he had his first period. As we've established, Yoshi just kind of discovered that Leo was afab when he put the cloaking bracelets on them for the first time and was like "fuck it I don't have the time to unpack this right now you're Leo and you're my son whatever lesgo," and that was just kinda that and everyone involved was always just down with Leo being Leo. Leo certainly never had a problem with it, and he never felt any desire to switch over to being a girl and would get pretty upset if anyone (such as teachers or other parents) suggested he may be female. As such, Yoshi has always just treated Leo as his son and is more than willing to defend him from anyone who ever questioned his identity. His brothers, likewise, have always been very defensive of Leo and quite frankly were usually confused as children if anyone tried to say Leo was their sister. 'Cause??? Like??? Literally no he's not??? He's always been our brother???

When Leo was around eleven Yoshi did sit him down to actually talk to him about it in-depth, like, 'I love you no matter what and I support your choices but we've never actually for-real talked about this and I wanna make sure this is something that you want and not just something that you went along with,' (Leo, of course, at that point doesn't realize WHY he 'came out as trans' when he was five, he just kind of figures that he must have made the decision to start presenting as masc and go by 'Leo' when he was very little and doesn't remember it now,) as well as discuss the option of puberty blockers with him and ask if that's something he wants. And Leo is 1000% like. YES, I'm sure I'm a boy and YES I want to go on puberty blockers so very much I've been dreading the concept of puberty for months now pleeeesssase let's do that. So... they do, and that's that!

(And Yoshi would have gone along with whatever Leo said, but internally he's like, OH THANK GOD, because he's also like ?!?! How tf would turtle puberty translate?! Would the cloaking crystals cover that??? Surely my son wouldn't lay FUCKING EGGS but holy shit what if he did and would I be morally obligated to warn him just in case--!?!)

I do think that the cloaking crystals cover menstruation, however. In this AU, the cloaking crystals (at least the ones the Hamatos have) do provide an active transforming effect rather than just a 'disguise.' I don't think it could really work otherwise! It's definitely not a 100% transformative effect, though, and their true biology still plays a major influence on them. (ie they get cold easily! They swim really well and can hold their breath for a long time! They're naturally more athletically inclined than most other kids and a lot hardier! etc. etc. etc.) but I don't think it would leave gaps as big as to let them lay eggs or anything like that, just like it doesn't allow them to shed their skin or to go into full brumation. It's also worth noting that they're turtle mutants, but they're not full turtles. They're half-human, too! So who's to say if Leo would lay eggs even if didn't have the cloaking crystals or the puberty blockers? He does end up having one little baby period right after he goes on blockers, which is not super uncommon, and is very dramatic about it, but April big-sisters him through it and he hasn't had any since. In the fic he is currently in the process of starting testosterone in the near future, which is something that will be discussed/explored in later chapters!

#sorrywhatnowau #lore #asks #anon #leo #menstruation #periods #periods cw

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i-have-art-block · 10 days

Text

quick lazy piece to say happy birthday deep cut!!!! (silly ramble under the cut)

I love splatoon so much and technically I've been playing since the first game, but splatoon 3 will always have a special place in my heart. I didn't get to play splatoon 1 that much cause my brother bought it and wouldn't let me play so I only got to play it when he left the house. And then I didn't have a switch when splatoon 2 came out and later didn't have enough money for nintendo online during splatoon 2's active lifetime so I didn't play, although i followed it online loosely.

But when splatoon 3 rolled around, I played the world premiere and bought the game a few months after it came out. Fun fact, I'm autistic and splatoon is my special interest (if it wasn't obvious), so to say this game means the world to me would be an understatement. It's provided me with so much joy while during these rough couple years I've had and although I'm incredibly excited for grandfest, I've been very emotional about this game's end.

idk, silly little story time to celebrate this game's anniversary. I really can't believe it's been two years already. :D

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kirythestitchwitch · 7 months

Text

Klaroline WIP Wed - Freaky Friday Time Travel AU - Klaus is a Master Baiter

It's been a while since put some of this out but i've been working on my plot issues and writing so here is some FFTT! as always @galvanizedfriend your tag!

Part One here Part Two here Part Three here Part Four here Part Five here

Pulling down a pink jacket, she wondered as she slipped it on if she’d be breaking any time laws if she brought it home with her. Shoes on, she went in search of Klaus.

The bedroom opened on a hallway lined with paintings with two closed doors and a staircase at the end, which curved around down to the landing. A living room was through one doorway, a kitchen and dining room through another. Klaus’ voice, sharp in tone, came from behind a door to the left that was cracked a smidge, and she padded quietly to the door to listen.

She needn’t have bothered, first off, he was speaking a language she wasn’t familiar with, and secondly, the moment she got within range of the door, he called out to her. “Caroline, do come in, love.”

Only slightly annoyed, she pushed the door open. The room was some kind of study or office, with a desk in the middle of the room and a couch over by the window and a corner fireplace, currently lit and casting patterns of light on the built-ins filled with books and small trinkets. A tumbler of some amber liquid in one hand, Klaus gave her a small smile, a phone held to one ear. It sounded like he was speaking maybe Icelandic or oh! probably Old Norse. She caught Kol's name flung out with irritation before he switched to English.

“I aim to enjoy time with my wife after that mess with the ifrit in Tehran that you elected not to join us for.” Klaus gestured to her to make herself comfortable, and trying not to think about how many times her future self had probably fucked Klaus on it, she sat down on the couch. Really tried not to think about it.

Looking at the firelight playing across Klaus' body, the jumble of necklaces tumbling over the neck of his shirt, Caroline very privately had to guess it was a lot of times for the couch. 'Stop that,' she told herself, 'You're with Tyler, and none of this has happened yet. You could make it all not happen.'

Kol's voice, heard by Caroline only once or twice before this, came through the phone clear to her hearing. "I knew you had it in hand, Nik. What's one teeny little fire spirit to the Original Hybrid?" His tone was mocking of Klaus' self-aggrandized title, and Caroline had to admit she was starting to see a future where maybe they could be friends, she and this nutjob brother of Klaus'.

"I don't suppose any of the Bennett witch's books happened to mention they're eight feet tall? Hmm?“ Klaus' voice was the epitome of murderous intent; he calmly took a drink, the corner of his mouth curling mischievously into a dimple that spoke volumes about how much he was enjoying leading his brother on.

”Uh. Eight feet? Really, they uh. Made them seem kind of... tiny.” Kol finished lamely. “We're at the Greek house for the month, don't have all the grimoires, you see.”

“So you've mentioned. I'll be sure to inform Caroline of your incompetence, little brother.”

“Caroline?” Kol's voice turned a little sharp. “She's okay, right? Nothing... happened?”

“Caroline's fine.” Klaus' voice was terrible and final, and for once Caroline thought he was speaking from the heart, like he was saying she would be fine because he willed it so.

“Nik, now just—”

“Like I said.” Klaus did a good impression of gathering himself. “I'd like to indulge in my wife without the family making a nuisance of themselves. Stay out of Brazil for the next month if you know what's good for you.” He hung up the phone.

“We're going to Brazil?” Caroline asked. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. The part of her that desperately wanted to see the world was thrilled. The other part of her that was already freaking out from being in Paris didn't know if going to a second location was a good idea.

Klaus smiled. “No, we're going to the library. Kol is going to Brazil.” Beckoning with one hand, he pulled her to her feet. Pinching the edge of the fabric between two fingers, he gave her jacket a small tug. “Excellent choice, will blend you in nicely, and you look lovely.”

Caroline beamed at him, and he licked his lips, sighed almost regretfully, and then turned away, draining his glass and setting it on the desk. Tapping a touchscreen in the corner of it, the fire went out, and Klaus waved at her to follow him. Feeling a little off-kilter, she did.

#klaroline wip wed #klaroline #klaroline for ts #tvd for ts #listen #i cannot be held responsible for that title #it was RIGHT THERE #what was i supposed to DO?#not go there???#have you met me????

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hollywoodxwhore · 1 year

Text

Mine | Chapter One

Colson x Original Female Character

A new series for y'all because this man has me on my kneeeeees. No idea how many parts it's going to be.

Synopsis: Presley may look sinful on the outside, but deep down, she's innocent, guarded, and terrified of intimacy. Colson, on the other hand, is living up to his womanizer reputation as a way to cope with heartbreak. When his new guitarist invites his twin sister to join them on tour, Colson discovers that he's actually capable of feeling. Will Presley and Colson be able to push past all of the barriers trying to prevent them from happening?

Chapter One Warnings/Content: swearing, a little bit of smut, col being a cocky fucker

Hope y'all enjoy! I've had so much fun writing this.

Presley

I have a confession to make.

I was a Machine Gun Kelly hater back in the day.

It’s true. I believed everything the media said, and why would I have challenged it? From what I knew, his music sucked. He was a total asshole. He was a womanizer. He was a poser who switched genres.

Looking back, I’m ashamed of myself for being a follower. I wasted a lot of time judging someone I didn’t know.

I would probably still be a hater if it wasn’t for my twin brother, Cash.

Cash and I were raised by music-loving parents (if you couldn’t tell by our names). We grew up playing instruments and going to shows. Cash and I got our first tattoos on our 16th birthday, and by the time we were 19, I already had a full sleeve and Cash had a neck tat. We’ve continued to collect ink ever since, and now that we’re 23, we’re both pretty covered.

We have an impressive collection of piercings, too. We both have our nostrils pierced, though he wears two rings and I wear a stud because of my septum piercing. Cash’s lip is pierced and both of our ears are full of piercings. I have my belly button and nipples. It’s been fun growing up with such accepting parents.

We’ve both spent lots of time pursuing art in some way or another. I play guitar and sing in a few local bands, but it’s nothing serious. I prefer body art, and that’s why I’m a piercer. I pierce at a tattoo shop in the city and make bank. People in this hipster city love their piercings.

Cash and I are best friends. We run in the same friend group and spend a lot of time together. We had our rows as kids, but we’ve always gotten along and been super close. So when he got the opportunity of a lifetime, I was hugely supportive, even though it broke me knowing I wouldn’t be able to see him every day anymore.

About six months ago, someone reached out to Cash through his Instagram. He has tons of followers and he’s a super talented guitarist. The guy who messaged Cash happened to be none other than Machine Gun Kelly himself. He wanted Cash to be a part of their band and tour with them.

We were sure it was a hoax, even though it was his official account messaging Cash. We thought it was too good to be true until Colson — MGK’s real name, by the way — passed Cash’s number to his management, and the very next day, Cash had a Zoom meeting set up to meet with Colson and management.

Cash was so serious about it that he wouldn’t let me sit in on the meeting, no matter how silent I promised to be and no matter how many times I assured him that I wouldn’t be on camera. I had to settle for listening through the door. I couldn’t hear much, but I knew it was a positive meeting.

13 days later, Cash packed his stuff and flew to LA to meet up with the band. The band itself is called Machine Gun Kelly, even though the lead singer/rapper goes by that name. It doesn’t make much sense to me, but whatever.

As soon as Cash was gone and I found myself lonely as hell, I decided to check out MGK’s music. The longer I sat and listened, the more pissed off I became with myself for having deprived myself of such good music for so long. I started with Tickets to My Downfall and then got hooked on Hotel Diablo. I ventured to Bloom, Lace Up, General Admission, and then onto songs you could only find on YouTube.

Bottom line: I was obsessed.

Well, let’s not get dramatic. I fell in love with the music and developed a crush on the very man I’d hated just a month before. And I felt like an asshole for it. I still do.

I miss Cash a ton. But his life is amazing now. He’s traveling with a hugely famous band, gaining followers every single show, and better yet, he gets along with the guys great. There’s Colson, of course, and then Rook, the drummer. Baze plays the bass and Slim does a lot of keyboard and sound stuff. Justin plays guitar alongside Cash, and Colson plays, too. They party a ton, but they also go out to eat, take trips together, and hang out constantly. I’ve never heard Cash so happy when we talk on the phone.

I’ve had a shitty day. Clients were dicks, especially the guy who wanted a Prince Albert and got a little excited during the piercing process. If that wasn’t bad enough, he hit on me before one of my tattoo artists came in and dragged him out of the shop. The encounter left me feeling shaky, and by the time I get into my apartment, my hands are a trembling mess.

I sigh and toss my keys into their designated bowl, then kick off my Doc Martens, trudging to the kitchen. I grab a Mountain Dew from the fridge and find my weed pen on the counter, taking a long pull until I cough out a huge puff. I’ll feel better very soon.

After changing into comfortable clothes and washing off my makeup, my black hair tossed into a bun, I curl up on the couch with a stupid scary movie. Almost immediately, my phone lights up with a FaceTime from Cash.

I answer the call and there’s his grinning face. I don’t think we look much alike. I have my mom’s raven hair and he has our dad’s blonde curls that he wears long on top and short on the sides and in back. My jade green eyes are the opposite of his chocolaty brown ones, so dark they’re almost black. We do have the same dimples, though.

“Hey, Cash,” I greet.

“Pres!” He says happily, and I can’t help but smile. “You good, sis?”

I shrug, smiling weakly. “Rough day at work.”

Normally he’d ask, but he’s clearly not calling to chat. He has news. I can see the excitement all over his face. “Fuck that,” he says. “Can you take some time off?”

My brow arches. “For what?”

“I want you to come visit!” He says. “Ride on the tour bus with us. Come to a few shows. I miss you and everyone wants to meet you.”

My stomach flips. “Wait, seriously?” I ask warily. “The band and management are okay with this?”

“Kells suggested it!” Cash replies, eyes wide with joy. Kells — MGK, Colson. A man of many names, apparently.

I’m still skeptical. “I don’t want to impose,” I say. I’m not fun enough to hang with them. It may appear that way based on my career and the fact that I play live music, but I’m boring. All I want to do is smoke weed and maybe go out to eat. I don’t really like to drink and big crowds make me anxious.

“You wouldn’t, I swear,” Cash continues, still trying to convince me.

“Cash…” I bite down on my lip. “I don’t know.”

Cash turns his head and talks to someone but I miss what he says. My brow furrows, and then the phone is being passed. I swear to god I stop breathing when my brother’s face disappears and Colson’s takes its place.

God. This man has no business being as hot as he is. His bone structure is unreal. In another life, he could be a successful model. He’s got the height and the body for it. Covered in tattoos and piercings, he matches my vibe. His hair is bleach blonde and messy, currently, so long it almost covers his eyes until he flicks it away and pushes it back, rings glinting on his long fingers. Christ.

“Hey, Presley,” he greets like we’re old friends.”

“Um, hi,” I say after a moment. How could Cash just throw me onto FaceTime with Colson fucking Baker?! Cash doesn’t know about my crush, but still, he’s a big celebrity. I needed more time to prepare.

“What Cash isn’t saying is that it’s non-negotiable. You’re coming,” he says casually. “We’re going to be in Detroit next Saturday and you can just join us then.”

“My job—”

“Cash already told me it’s easy for you to take time off,” Colson interrupts. Dammit, Cash.

“Well, tell Cash that not all of us are famous rockstars like he is and that some of us still have rent to pay,” I say, loud enough for Cash to hear.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Colson says. “Cash already paid for your next three months’ rent.”

I blink. “Cash David Carver,” I say, tone clipped. “What the hell?”

Cash’s face pops in as he throws an arm around Colson’s shoulders with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Gotta take care of my little sister,” he explains.

“You’re 12 minutes older than me,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Still,” Cash says annoyingly. “Come on, Pres, come see me.”

I sigh. I don’t have to worry about rent for three months. Cash was right, it’s easy to take time off. It means the other piercer gets way more hours and makes more money. I’ve been there for long enough that I can do pretty much whatever I want. I chew on my lip.

“Fine,” I say, and Cash cheers. Colson smiles, and fuck, what an adorable smile. Crinkly eyes and all.

“We’ll see you next Saturday,” Cash says. “Maybe get a friend to drive you. We’ll get you both backstage passes and tickets for the show.”

Holy hell.

“Okay,” I say, head still spinning. I can’t even believe this is real.

“Alright, we gotta go. Love you, Pres,” Cash says.

“Looking forward to meeting you,” Colson says.

“Yeah, me too,” I say. “Love you, too, Cashy. See you soon.”

The FaceTime ends and I’m left sitting on my couch, knowing that in less than two weeks, I’ll be riding on Machine Gun Kelly’s tour bus. I’ll be at shows. It occurs to me that my wardrobe is not good for the paparazzi pictures in which I very well may appear.

I need to go shopping.

I need to mentally prepare.

Somehow.

Colson

“Daddy!” Her voice is almost a shriek and I smirk around the gum in my mouth as I go harder, bringing a hand down onto her ass as I do. God, she sounds like a fucking pornstar, the way she’s moaning and crying over my dick. I’m sure some of it is for show, but the way she’s clenching ain’t fake.

“Fuck,” I mutter lowly, grabbing her hips for leverage as I fuck her harder, feeling myself start to get close.

“Oh fuck, Kells!” Her back arches and her pussy seizes me as she comes, ass pressing back. Feeling her lose it gets me, too, and with a curse, I come, too.

Once I catch my breath, I pull out and get rid of the condom. Panting, she pulls her panties back up and shoves her skirt down. She tries to fix her hair, but it’s a damn mess, and there’s mascara smeared on her cheek and her lipstick is pretty much everywhere but her lips. It’s definitely on my dick, that I know for sure.

I button my jeans and smirk at her, reaching a hand out to help her up. She smiles shyly and I lead the way out of my bunk and into the main space of the tour bus.

“We gotta take off soon,” I explain, bending to kiss her cheek. “It’s been fun, Sabrina.”

Her blonde brows furrow. “Savannah,” she says flatly.

“Shit. Sorry,” I say, giving her my brightest smile. It works. She smiles, too, batting her eyelashes.

“Goodnight, Kells,” she says, fluttering her fingers in a wave as she steps off the bus.

“Goddamn, aren’t you tired?” I turn around to see Cash and Rook on the couch, grinning proudly. Cash’s question has me considering.

“Yeah. I am,” I admit, reaching into the mini fridge for a bottle of water. I plop into one of the cushy chairs and prop my feet on the table. “That’s life, though, boys.”

Rook snorts and Cash smirks as he takes a sip of his beer. I love the kid. I’m glad he’s on tour with us. He’s fucking sick on the guitar and he gets along great with all of us. He’s always down for a good time and he’s a great wingman. I think it’s those damn dimples and the curly blonde hair.

My mind flashes to Cash’s twin sister, Presley. From what I’ve seen in pictures, she looks nothing like Cash. Her hair is black and her eyes are a piercing green. She’s tatted and pierced like him, and though she’s not as tall as he is at 6’2”, she still has legs that go on for miles. She’s hot as fuck, and I’m excited she’s going to be joining the tour for a bit.

As if Cash is reading my mind, he brings her up. “I can’t wait for Pres to join us. She’s my best fucking friend, man.”

“I can’t imagine having a sister,” I say. “Especially a twin.”

“Is that telepathy shit legit?” Rook asks between puffs off a joint.

Cash plucks the joint from his fingers and takes a long drag before passing it to me. The smoke is sweet as it fills my lungs, and I follow up the first hit with another until my head tingles.

“Yeah,” he admits, nodding. “I got in a car crash when we were in high school. Broke my leg and needed stitches in my forehead. Presley had no idea but she left school with a raging headache and a limp.”

“No fucking way,” I say. “Seriously?”

“It’s crazy,” he says. “That’s kind of why I’m glad she’s coming. I can tell she’s not doing so hot.”

I frown, not liking the way his words make my stomach hurt a little. I don’t even know this chick. I shouldn’t really care. But she’s my friend’s sister, so I guess it makes sense. “What’s wrong? Shitty boyfriend?” I ask.

Cash barks such a loud laugh that Rook and I both freeze, looking at him like he’s crazy. “Sorry,” he says, chuckling and shaking his head. “Pres has never had a boyfriend.”

“How?” I blurt before I can stop myself. I clear my throat. “I mean, she’s hot. Respectfully,” I add.

Cash chuckles. “Guys want her. They’re all over her,” he says, and I notice the way his hand tightens protectively on the armrest. “She doesn’t want any of them. We tell each other everything, but she doesn’t date. Dunno why.”

“Hm,” I reply. Interesting. I don’t date either, but I do fuck. Maybe his sister is the same way. Good news for me, if so.

“So on that note,” Cash says. “She’s off limits. No hitting on my sister.”

I’m visibly disappointed and Cash narrows his eyes at me. “I mean it, Kells.”

I hold up my hands in surrender. “Alright, alright. Loud and clear.”

“But what if she hits on me first,” Rook asks, and when Cash swats him, he cackles.

I sit back in the chair and take another drag off the joint. What’s the point of Cash’s sexy ass sister coming on tour if I can’t touch her? I have a feeling she’s even hotter in person. Oh well. I’ll have to deal with it. Cash is my boy and I’ll respect his wishes.

It might be a little cocky to think she’d want me back if I made a move, but I haven’t been rejected since high school. It doesn’t happen when you’re at the place I am. Hell, I don’t even have to ask anymore. Girls, quite literally, throw themselves at me, along with their panties, bras, and even a vibrator one time. That was an interesting show. Funny as fuck watching Reed pluck it off the stage.

I hear what Cash says, but there’s some weight to what Rook said, too. What if she wants me? Am I expected to reject her? Shit, I won’t be doing that. We’ll just have to see what happens.

Our Detroit show comes on fast. It’s been a crazy week, and to be honest, I haven’t been thinking about Cash’s sister at all. There are plenty of other girls to keep me occupied.

So when I’m backstage smoking a joint and Cash walks back with a couple of girls, I’m intrigued. I get up from the chair I’m in, but as I get closer, I recognize her. Cash’s sister. And fuck if she doesn’t take my breath away, as stupid as that sounds.

Because holy shit. When I say Presley Carver is the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen, I’m not lying. Pictures don’t do this girl justice, and her pictures are pretty damn hot. There are those gorgeous legs beneath a short leather skirt. A tiny sliver of tanned stomach is visible beneath her shirt, a simple t-shirt tied in a knot at the bottom. Black, leather boots with a heel, making those legs even longer. Her hair is left down and straight, and I can see the green of her eyes from twenty feet away.

I basically tuck my tongue back into my mouth before snuffing the joint out and going over to say hi like a gentleman. The three of them are chatting with Ashleigh and Olivia, but Presley looks up as I come over, and for the few seconds that our eyes are locked on one another, I feel a bolt of electricity shock through me. She blinks and looks away, but there’s a little smirk on her face.

“Cash, gonna introduce me?” I ask, putting a hand to Cash’s shoulder.

“Yeah, Kells, this is my sister, Presley,” he says.

“Nice to meet you,” Presley says, holding out a hand.

I smirk and step forward to hug her instead. “Nah, fuck that, we hug around here,” I say, noticing the way her head tucks into my neck, inhaling the smell radiating from her hair — something sweet and sugary. She smells like fucking candy and for a second, I can’t help but wonder what she tastes like.

As I pull away, Cash gives me a warning glance, but I just smile. “And this is her friend, Sadie.”

“Hi Sadie,” I say, hugging her as well. She’s cute, but she isn’t Presley Carver. No one is.

“Thanks again for being so generous,” Presley says. God, her voice is hot, too. Sultry and low, slightly raspy. She sounds like she’d be one hell of a singer.

“No problem,” I say. “Make yourselves at home.” I need to finish my joint and take a piss before I get out onstage, and as much as I want to stay here and stare, I have shit to do. I wave and walk away. I glance over my shoulder after a few seconds and catch Presley staring. She jumps a little and immediately focuses on what Cash is saying, but she looks flustered. I notice the shape of her long black nails as she tucks her hair behind her ear and I shiver. Focus, Colson. You have a show to do.

But somehow knowing Presley is watching makes me go harder. Makes me take my shirt off and put on a good show of thrusting at my guitar. I drag my fingers down my body, grab my cock over my pants. Old Colson is coming out. The kid who used to suck tits onstage. I hadn’t realized how much I missed him. He was fun. I stopped acting that way when I met…never mind.

I like that this girl is making me find my old self onstage. I completely give into it, and it’s my best show of the entire tour. Detroit is lucky Presley Carver is in their presence.

After the show, I chug a full bottle of water, accepting daps and high fives and hugs backstage. I hate how my eyes are searching for her. Cash was very clear — hands off his sister. Which is such a dick move. Has he seen his sister? I mean, I know that’s his sister but he’s not blind. Right?

“Great show.” I jump a little when I hear that slightly raspy voice behind me, and when I turn around, my breath hitches. She looks even better a little sweaty from the show, black hair slightly mussed up.

I clear my throat and put on a smirk to hide how flustered this girl has me. “Thanks. You had fun?”

“Oh, yeah,” she says, her eyes bright. “You guys put on a good show.”

I mop my face with my sweaty t-shirt and flick my hair out of my eyes. “Did you sing along to any songs?” I ask, my not-so-subtle way of figuring out whether or not she knows our music.

Her grin is a little sly. “Maybe,” she says with a little shrug.

My brow arches. “C’mon, you’re gonna leave a guy hanging?” I ask. I really want to know if she actually likes my music.

“Pres, quit acting mysterious,” Cash says when he steps up beside me, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “She listens to your shit. She knows all the words.”

“Cash!” Presley hisses, giving him a look.

“What?” Cash blanches. “It’s true!” He turns to me. “As soon as I joined y’all she started listening.”

“So you didn’t listen before we kidnapped Cash?” I ask. For some reason, I like that she hasn’t always been a fan.

She shrugs. “Not really.” Now she looks a little sheepish. “I was missing out, though.”

“You should've heard the shit she said about you when Killshot came out,” Cash adds, and when Presley stomps on his toe, he yelps. “Ow, what the fuck!”

“Cash, you’re such a dick,” she groans. She looks up at me and smiles weakly. “He’s exaggerating.”

I’m amused as fuck. All I can do is laugh. I don’t give a fuck whose side she was on when that all went down. She’s backstage at my show now, and I saw the way she looked at me earlier. She’s into me. There’s no way she’s not.

“I’m gonna go find a bathroom,” Presley mutters, shooting one last glare at Cash before she turns on her heel and stomps away. And maybe my eyes fall on her ass, the way her waist curves out into smooth hips. Cash elbows me, and now it’s my turn to yelp.

“C’mon, I was just looking!” I insist.

“Yeah, looking at my sister like you want to fuck her,” Cash says, but he’s still grinning a little. The smile fades and he clears his throat. “Look. She’s a good girl.”

A quick burst of irritation blooms in my chest. “Are you saying I’m a bad guy?”

“No!” Cash insists, eyes widening. “Not at all. She just…she’s different, Kells. And she’s my sister. I don’t want anyone taking advantage of her.”

“Taking advantage?” I blurt in outrage.

“No, Kells I — fuck.” Cash tears his hands through his messy hair. “Please.”

I sigh, the fight going out of me, and nod. “I won’t do anything,” I mutter.

“You promise?” The kid asks.

I have half a mind to make fun of him for the juvenile ass question, but I just nod. “Promise,” I sigh. Cash relaxes after that and he claps me on the back before jogging away to find some of the other guys.

I’m annoyed now. I want a shower and something to eat. And my dick is a little bit hard in my jeans. I shift and then walk stiffly outside to the tour bus.

Sure enough, a group of girls squeals when I come outside. They’re hanging near the tour bus and I quickly scan the group for the hottest one. There’s a cute brunette and I decide she’s the one. I approach the fence and reach for her hand. Her eyes twinkle.

“You busy right now?” I ask.

She looks to her friend whose eyes are bugging out of her head. “Nope,” she says.

I smirk. This will be a good distraction. Just what I need.

#colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker fanfic #machine gun kelly fanfic #mgk fanfic #colson baker smut #machine gun kelly smut #mgk smut #colson baker x ofc #colson x ofc #mgk x ofc #machine gun kelly x ofc

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guardiangeologist · 4 months

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Luigi's Uncharacteristically Large and also maybe Haunted House (3DS Edition): A Highly Professional Review

The entire time I've had this blog, I haven't really been sure what to use it for. I've settled on spewing my unscripted thoughts on whatever Game of the Week I've played most recently because, quite frankly, where else are they gonna go? I love my girlfriend, but these words are destined for a wider platform. I must expand my horizons. So here I am, talking about cartoon ghosts and green vacuum-wielding Italian men on the internet.

Now, let me tell you, this green man and his stupid house have been in control of my entire brain like some fucked up Italian Ratatouille for at least 10 years. I was a Luigi's Mansion Kid. What do I mean by that? I mean I roleplayed Luigi's Mansion on the school playground when I was in the 3rd grade. With the other Luigi's Mansion Kids. So it's safe to say I have some experience when it comes to this game. At times, he goes dormant. He waits patiently for another hyperfixation to pass. However, just when I least expect it, he returns from the grave (almost like a ghost?) to stage a military occupation of my frontal lobe to last the next few months.

So, there's my history. I ended up finally picking up the 3DS version of this game just before the eShop shut down (rest in piss) for shits and giggles, and only just got around to playing it this week while laying in bed with a migraine. (maybe not the smartest decision?) I mean, to start with, why was this game released for the 3DS? It came out in October 2018, at which point we were already an entire year post-Switch. I mean, I guess it would be fine, but it's just so obvious that being on the 3DS holds this game back in so many different areas (which I will get to, be patient!) and it's seriously a tragedy it hasn't been ported to Switch yet. Why put together such an amazing remake, and then bottleneck it with lackluster hardware and release it on a nearly out of service console?

In terms of positive changes? LOADS of QoL stuff. I might even go as far as to call this the definitive version of the game in spite of the few drawbacks it does present. Some examples include:

Re-fighting portrait ghosts: NO MORE RESETS!!! (Ok still some resets for speedy spirits because there's no way in hell I'm staying in the blackout for longer than I have to but that's just part of The Experience)

You can go back to the Lab from the Mansion by exiting through the front door. Finally, Luigi has learned how to open doors!

The tougher post-game Hidden Mansion, originally exclusive to the PAL version, has finally been made available to us worthless money-grubbing Americans! (Minus the disorienting flipped rooms, which I found pretty disappointing but some people will probably celebrate.) You can even get platinum ghost portraits from the Hidden Mansion which I have yet to obtain all of because jesus christ it is not easy to defeat a ghost with 150 health in a single attempt.

And now, the ghostly elephant in the room: co-op. I did try it, with my little brother as my Gooigi guinea pig. It's...I mean...honestly, it's not great. If you want to play LM1 with a friend, I can honestly recommend a ROM hack of the GameCube original more than I can recommend Nintendo's official multiplayer, which is pretty lame. For one, nothing is scaled up difficulty-wise to account for the extra player, so most battles in the game become trivial with the addition of a second experienced player (not my little brother.) But secondly, and most importantly:

the LAG.

DEAR GOD THE LAG.

I can testify that our internet is fine. The internet is not the issue, and even if it were, it shouldn't take any more bandwidth to play this game than it takes for two 3DS systems that are within 3 feet of each other and 10 feet from a router to communicate with each other. Yet, the game did not once run at full speed on either screen the entire time we played. Additionally, my brother complained several times that he couldn't even move his character. Luigi's Mansion with two players SHOULD be a chaotic mess, but adding the piddly framerate on top of it makes the game nearly unplayable.

That being said, the co-op is a disappointment, but it was never necessary for the game to be a satisfying package overall, it's better than having nothing. Though, as is typical, the work of fans definitely triumphs over Nintendo's official product in this department.

Oh, and they still didn't fix the oversight which causes you to lose the second gold diamond if you die after collecting it because the game prompts you to save while it's still on the ground... No A-Rank for me, I guess.

Mm, yes, the controls, yeah, those exist. This is one of those spots where I feel this game could have easily benefitted from just being developed for the Switch. Instead of forcing a dual-stick game onto a dying handheld with a single circle pad, maybe we could've, like, released it for the dual-stick console/handheld that was already out and had a perfectly established user base? They tried to substitute the c-stick with the gray alien nipple- or uhh..."circle pad pro"...that comes pre-installed on the New Nintendo 3DS, but it does not work well. The nub just isn't responsive enough to substitute for an entire stick, and if you want it to be a real circle pad, you have to buy an external attachment. Not to mention the nub isn't even available on every 3DS model! So like, yeah, I understand they made an honest attempt to work around the controller issues, but a better workaround would've been to just...not curse this game to irrelevancy by trapping it on a dying console.

All of that said, I spent all week playing this game, so they did something right. Curse my brain worms.

11/10 will buy this game and its sequels again every time Nintendo re-releases them.

#super mario bros #luigi #luigi's mansion #mario bros #smb #super mario #mario #supermario #nintendo #nintendo 3ds #the fucking nub dear god it's the only thing i'm glad we left behind in the previous console generation

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azzandra · 3 months

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Stuck in cat logistics hell, because Mitzi really, really needs to be seen by a vet, but she has a seething murderous hatred for vets and becomes completely unhinged when put in a cat carrier as a result. But over the past 6 weeks? two months or so? her health has taken a very concerning turn.

The problem is she's 13 years old and the vet says because she's this old it's too risky to sedate her for the vet visit. But I suspect some of the issues she's experiencing are age-related and googling things like "symptoms of cat dementia" has been very disheartening. Some very bad changes in behavior lately have me extremely concerned.

She's currently at my brother's place because about a month ago she started becoming extremely aggressive towards our other cats (more than usual, because she's never been a fan of the others anyway) and they started basically harassing her constantly in response which made her extremely stressed. She stopped using the litterbox and also started having anxious fits. Since my brother's cats are more well-behaved, we thought maybe Mitzi would do better here, but it turns out Mitzi is just as aggressive towards them. She's still a lot calmer here because she has a room mostly to herself and these cats are less persistent about bugging her.

She's also hostile towards my brother and sister-in-law, in spite of the fact that she knows them?? For the first 10 years of her life my brother was also there living in the same house, there's no reason she should be constantly hissing at him now. She never did that before.

She also freaks the fuck out if anyone touches her body. She's always liked being petted around the head more than her body, but now if anyone touches her lower body she yowls and bites and scratches. She's also lost weight despite eating about the same, and she's shedding like hell but isn't washing herself as thoroughly as usual.

I've been spending the past few days at my brother's, observing Mitzi closely (something that was impossible to do home because the other three cats were constantly glued to my side, and if they were there, Mitzi would not approach). She doesn't even play the same. I was waving a toy stick around her and her eyes didn't seem to track it. I had to grind it against the ground and she seemed to track it by sound better.

I've been trying to figure out if she really can't see or if she was zoning out, and I'm 90% sure she can still see, but also about 80% sure her peripheral vision isn't great anymore? It would explain some incidents where she didn't seem to notice other cats when they approached her and then freaked out when she finally did notice them. It's come to the point where if another cat enters the room, we purposefully draw Mitzi's attention to it because it's worse if she's taken by surprise. She's been spending a lot of time with her back to walls. Staring into space, losing track of toys she was playing with moments ago, losing a lot of weight! Very suddenly! I've switched her to some senior cat-specific food and she seems to love that. She doesn't sleep coiled up anymore, and I'm worried that's related to why she won't let people touch her body anymore. She's also been moving more hesitantly. She's always been a slow and cautious cat, now she's just... doddering.

I'm also pissed because when I took her to the vet two years ago, I wanted to have bloodwork done, but she was so insanely angry and already drew blood from both me and the vet instead, and we just sort of decided not to go through with it because of how uncooperative she was being. And that seemed like a fine decision at the time because she was still healthy as ever back then, but now I'm pissed I didn't let her maul me as long as we could get her tested and see if she was actually fine.

We've had cats before Mitzi and since, but Mitzi is the oldest cat anyone in my immediate family has raised so far (for a variety of reasons). And she's my cat. I've had her since she was so small she fit in my palm and had to be fed with a syringe. I was thinking she'd be around for a very long time, and 13 seems like way too young to be undergoing this kind of decline.

#cut for very sad pet-related venting #*shrug emoji*

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sequinsmile-x · 11 months

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Start from Scratch

It had been years since they'd been back to the place they'd once called home, the place they once thought they'd raise their children, but it was time.

Aaron and Emily and their family go back to DC years after being forced to leave by Peter Lewis and his obsession.

My 250th Hotchniss Fic.

-x-

Hi friends,

It seems absolutely bonkers that this is my 250th fic, and on some level it probably is, but here we are!!

I've never written anything about the Scratch storyline, largely because I've only ever watched those episodes once, and it freaked me out so much I've never watched them again!! So, I thought I'd write this, an idea that's been floating around my brain for a long time, to mark the occasion.

I just wanted to say thank you for always encouraging me, for being my safe space when I have bad days. Writing for this fandom has, and will continue to, get me through some hard times in my life. Writing is my way of escape, and the fact it provides escape to other people is a bonus that I cannot even describe.

So, if you've ever read something I've written, if you'd left kudos, or likes, reblogs or comments, then this for you. Thank you.

Let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 9.3k (i got carried away)

Warnings: Canon typical violence

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

May 2021

“Mom, I’m bored.”

She smiles as she looks up from her desk, her eyebrow raised as her eyes meet her son’s, the 9-year-olds the same dark shade as hers.

“Did you finish all your homework?” She asks, and he avoids her eye contact, looking down at the ground, “Oscar Hotchner…”

“I did most of it,” he says, an almost desperate tone to his voice that she has to clear her throat to stop from laughing at, “But Wren and Rosie are playing and Jack said we could play on his game.”

She folds her hands on her desk in front of her and smiles at him. Before she’d been a parent she always assumed she wouldn’t be a pushover when it came to her children, but all it would take is a slightly sad look in their eyes, or a slight tilt of their sweet heads, and she was putty in their hands. Aaron always made fun of her for it, his smile pressed into her hairline when they curled up in bed at night, a playful tone to his voice as he joked about how she had stared down serial killers in a past life but was unable to say no to their children.

“You know what, sweet boy,” she says, standing up and round her desk, walking over to him and wrapping her arm around him, “Mommy is bored with marking papers, so why don’t we go find everyone else.” The way his face lights up with a smile, the one he shared with Aaron, warms her from the inside out. “Dad will be home soon anyway.”

They walk towards the living room and she laughs at the sight of the twins sitting on the couch, absolutely surrounded by every single one of their stuffed animals, and she wonders how many times they must have walked up and down the stairs to bring them down from their rooms.

“What is going on in here?” She asks, smiling when both Wren and Rose look at her. They were identical in looks, to the point where only those who were close to them could tell them apart, but their personalities couldn’t be more different. Wren was quiet, more reserved in nature especially around people she didn’t know, so much like Aaron it made Emily feel fiercely protective of her. Rose was exactly like she was. Bold and adventurous and stubborn to a degree that had Emily dreading her teenage years even though they were only a few months shy of the twins 6th birthday.

“We’re playing hospital,” Rose says, her expression serious as she points at the lined up stuffed animals, “These are all our patients.”

“Wow,” Emily replies, “Busy day at the hospital.”

Jack walks in, the spare controllers for the Nintendo Switch in his hands, “Who wants to play MarioKart?”

“Me!” Wren exclaims, abandoning what she had been doing and running over to her brother who was just about her favourite person in the world. The relationship between Jack and his siblings was something that never failed to make Emily feel emotional. She remembered how worried she’d been when she was pregnant with Oscar, so concerned how Jack would react that it had made her feel sick, but he’d never been anything other than excited at being a big brother.

She knew they’d all miss him when he moved away to college in a couple of years.

She’s just about to say that she’ll play too, her arm still around Oscar’s shoulders, when the front door opens, Aaron’s smile wide as he walks into the house.

“Daddy’s home!” Rose shouts, running over to the front door, running at his legs at full speed and wrapping her arms around him.

“Hi Rosie Posie,” he replies, leaning down to hug her as he places his briefcase by the door. He smirks as he sees how Emily rolls her eyes at the nickname she’d hated since he’d first said it.

“We were about to play MarioKart,” Emily says, smiling when he walks over to press a kiss to her cheek, “If you want to join us I can always beat you again.”

“You only win because you cheat, Mom,” Jack says, and she turns to him, narrowing her eyes at her oldest.

“I do not cheat,” she replies before she turns back to her husband, “How about it, honey?”

He nods, clearing his throat, “Yeah,” he looks at his children and smiles, “Why don’t you go set up the game, Mom and I will be right behind you.”

They all nod and head towards the den, chatting over each other, their home never quiet but full of love and a type of peace that, even just a few years ago, Emily wouldn’t have thought was possible. She smiles as she turns to face Aaron, shaking her head at their children as they all rush out of the room to play the video game, Jack leading the charge, but it fades when she sees the look on her husband's face, the sadness in his eyes.

“Honey,” she says, stepping towards him, her hand on his arm in an immediate attempt to comfort him, “What’s wrong?”

He sighs as he puts his hand over hers, linking their fingers together as he squeezes, “I heard from Dave,” he says, pressing his lips together in a tight line, “Krystall died this morning.”

“Poor Dave,” She gasps, her heart clenching in her chest, aching for their friend who had done so much for them, who had saved them. Dave had been the one to protect them when everything started to fall apart, his friendship and his protectiveness over them and their children one of the reasons they were all still together now. She blows out a steady breath and locks eyes with her husband. “Do you think…” she drifts off, the mere thought of going back, of returning to the place where their family had been tormented by a now dead psychopath, enough to make her chest seize.

“I’ve already booked the time off work,” he replies, as if he has read her mind. She nods and leans in to hug him, sighing as he hugs her back, “He’d do it for us.”

“You’re right,” she says, closing her eyes as she hears the kids laugh from the next room, reminding herself that Peter Lewis hadn’t won, that she still had everything she’d left her life, the people she’d once considered her found family, behind to protect, “We should go.”

He can feel the tension in her shoulders, the knots that almost immediately begin to form there, and he rubs his hand up and down her back. The choice not to return to their old life once it was safe to do so had been a hard one, but ultimately the right decision. Their life now was the one their children deserved, the one they deserved, and he knew that the thought of going back to where they had almost lost everything, even to support one of their oldest friends, was a difficult one.

“It will be ok, sweetheart,” he assures her, stamping a kiss against her lips, “We’ll do it together, just like everything else.”

She smiles and nods, kissing him once more before she pulls away, smiling at the sound of the kids yelling for them, Rose’s voice drowning out the rest of them.

“Yeah,” she says, squeezing his hand as they walk towards the den, “Together.”

___

April 2015

It feels like an echo of a previous life. The panic, how it twists deep in her gut as she parks her car outside the hospital, greeting her like an old friend.

The last time she’d done this he’d simply been her boss, although she knew in hindsight that she’d been in love with him even then. He hadn’t been hers, her confusing feelings for him stuffed deep down under all the other secrets she carried at the time, unable to surface under the weight of her time with Ian Doyle.

The worry is sharper this time, only made worse by how Dave had sounded on the phone. Their usually cool and unaffected friend sounded strained, his concern for Aaron clear, unable to hide it from her despite his best efforts.

She bursts into the hospital entrance, her car keys tightly grasped in her first as she approaches the nurse's station.

“Excuse me,” she says, her voice strained even to her own ears. A nurse looks her up and down, “I-”

“Ma’am, are you okay? Is something wrong with your baby?”

Emily’s hand drifts to her stomach, more pronounced at this stage in her pregnancy than it had been during her last one with Oscar, because this time she has two babies in her belly. Twins they’d recently found out were both girls, constantly moving as if they were already fighting with each other.

“No, I’m fine,” she says, sounding harsher than she means to be, “My husband was brought in, Aaron Hotchner. Our friend called me and-”

“Emily.”

She turns to see Dave standing a few feet away and she abandons the nurse's station, walking over to him as quickly as she can, “Dave, what the hell happened?”

He pulls her into a hug, his embrace tight, almost desperate, and it does nothing to calm her fraying nerves.

“He got into his head,” he says, his hands still on her shoulders as he pulls back.

She frowns, her stomach churning for a different reason than she was used to, “Peter Lewis?” She asks, swallowing thickly when Dave nods, “What do you mean he got into his head?”

Dave sighs and guides her over to a nearby chair and she sits, her hand on her stomach again as she tries to calm herself down, well aware her blood pressure was already something her doctor was concerned about.

“He drugged him. Made him hallucinate all kinds of things, including some of the team dying,” he says, and she blows out a breath, “Lewis tried to then make him kill us when we came in to rescue him, but he saw through it. I think there's more but he won’t talk about it.”

She nods, placing her hand on her bump, the movement of her daughters keeping her somewhat grounded, “And Lewis?”

“He gave himself up immediately,” Dave says, clenching his jaw, anger aimed at the man who had tried to rob his friend of everything that made him who he was, “He got what he wanted.”

Emily nods, “He got inside Aaron’s head,” she wraps her fingers around her wedding rings, twisting them back and forth, “Can I see him?”

Dave nods and stands up offering her a hand to help her up too but she declines, forcing herself up herself. “He’s pretty out of it,” Dave says, walking her towards Aaron’s room, “But he kept asking about you and the boys, he wanted to make sure you were safe.”

She chuckles humourlessly and shakes her head, “That sounds about right,” she smiles tightly at him, “He’s the one who got drugged and tortured by a psychopath but he was worried about us whilst we were sat at home.”

He smiles and nods at her, “He’s in there,” he says, pointing towards the room next to them. Emily turns to go in, desperate to see her husband, but Dave stops her, his hand on her arm, “Bella, non l'ho mai visto così.”

She feels her heart seize in her chest, her lungs so stuffed full of worry she can’t draw in a breath, so all she does is nod in response, smiling tightly at her friend once more before she walks into Aaron’s room. She immediately sees what Dave means, how delicate Aaron looks, frail in a way she’d never associated with him. He’d always been huge. Tall and wide-shouldered in a way that made her feel small, even though in reality she wasn’t too much shorter than him. In recent years he’d put on a little weight, something that she loved, but hadn’t lost any of his strength. He was her safe space, her haven, and she knew he was the same for their children too.

But right now he looked small, folding in on himself as he jumps as the door opens. She immediately feels guilty, chastising herself internally for spooking him when he’d already been through so much, but she smiles at him in a way she hopes is encouraging.

“Honey, it’s just me,” she says, stepping towards him, her hands in front of her, one of them on her bump, so he can see them, “It’s Emily.”

“Sweetheart?” He asks, sounding slightly panicked as he sits up, “Where are Jack and Oscar, are they-”

“Baby,” she says, sitting on the edge of his bed as she cuts him off, squeezing one of his hands between both of hers, her touch immediately stopping him in his tracks, “The boys are fine. Jess is with them. By now they are probably both fast asleep in their beds.”

He nods, a vacant look in his eyes that was tearing her apart, “And you’re okay?”

She smiles softly at him, “I’m okay,” she says, placing his hand on her belly, watching a flicker of him pass over his face as one of the babies kicks against his hand, “All three of your girls are,” she adds, and he nods again, remaining silent as they sit there, the silence cloying, overwhelming in a way that makes her choke, “Aaron-”

“Don’t ask me what he made me see,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion, his eyes seeing right through her, as if he was seeing whatever it was all over again, “I can’t…”

She isn’t sure she’s ever hated someone as much as she hates Peter Lewis. She just wants a few minutes alone with him, to see how powerful he was without his drugs and his tools, to give him a taste of his own medicine. She breathes out slowly, well aware that Aaron didn’t need her to be angry now. There would be plenty of time for that later. Right now, he needed her love, a reminder of their lives together.

“Okay,” she says, shifting closer to him and pulling him into an embrace. He rests his head against her chest and she feels him breathe in deeply, filling his lungs with the smell of home as if it would erase everything he’d been through, “Okay. I’m right here. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he murmurs, his palms wide and strong on her back, holding her closer, her bump pressed between them as he desperately holds her in place.

“They got him,” she says, kissing the top of his head, “He won’t hurt us again.”

For a reason she can’t explain, she’s not even sure she believes herself.

___

She’s nervous in a way she can’t explain when they arrive.

They’d booked a suite at a downtown hotel despite Dave’s insistence that they could stay with him. Neither of them wanted to place that burden on him, to have their family of 6 taking up space in his home where she knew his grief should be.

She’d idly wondered if he’d mentioned to the others that they were coming, but it’s a question that is answered when they show up at the funeral and everyone looks shocked to see them. Whispers passed back and forth between JJ, Penelope, Tara and Spencer as well as people that Emily doesn’t recognise.

At first, their contact only being limited to Dave had been practical, especially when they were still in witness protection. But once everything was safe, once they could have returned, it was something that had continued. The people they had once spent every day with, people who had been in their wedding and held their children when they were newborns, no longer a part of their lives. It made Emily feel guilty, especially when she sees the shock on their faces, the second time in her life she’d been a ghost to them, but she reminds herself that it goes both ways, that there had been almost no attempts at contact from their side either.

They don’t speak to anyone else until the wake, all of their focus during the funeral is to pay their respects to Krystall and making sure the kids are entertained and they don’t cause a scene if they get bored. Her, Aaron and Jack had taken one of the smaller children each, Wren all but glued to her mother’s side as she looked around a room full of people she didn’t know. The wake is held at Dave’s house, echoes of his wife in every corner, and all Emily needs to do is close her eyes and she’s taken back to her and Aaron’s wedding. Having it here had felt right. She’d never wanted a big wedding and as soon as Aaron proposed she knew she wanted it here. In the place where they’d all come back together in the fallout of Ian and how he’d torn through their lives.

“Emily.”

She looks up, her breath catching in her chest as she sees JJ and Penelope walk over to her. There’s a moment of awkward silence as all three of them just look at each other, and then Penelope pulls her into a hug, every bit as fierce and loving as she had remembered.

“Hi Pen,” she says, holding her back just as tightly. She smiles as she pulls away and then hugs JJ too before she puts some space between them, “It’s…been a long time.”

“We weren’t expecting to see you,” JJ says, crossing her arms over her chest, “I didn’t know you guys were still in touch with Dave.”

She nods, her lips pressed together in a firm line, “It’s not very often,” she says, “But he called Aaron to tell him about Krystall, and it wouldn’t have felt right to not come.” She feels a pulling at the material of her dress and she looks down to see Wren standing close to her, a nervous look in her eyes as she looks back and forth between her mother and the women she was speaking to. Emily runs her fingers through the girl's hair and crouches down to her level, “You probably don’t remember Mommy and Daddy’s friends, huh?” She says, and she smiles as Wren shakes her head, stepping closer to her as she does so, seeking out her mother’s comfort, “That’s okay, you were very small the last time we were here.”

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” JJ asks, and it makes something in Emily’s chest pang, because if they’d stayed, if they’d never had to leave, she knows the woman she would have once called her best friend would have been one of the people who could tell the twins apart. She looks at Wren who stays silent, her hand tight around the black material of Emily’s dress.

“This is Wren,” she says, smiling at her friend as she picks her daughter up, settling her on her hip as she straightens up. Wren rests her head against her shoulder and tangles one of her hands in Emily’s hair, “Wren, these are Mommy’s friends. Jennifer-”

“Like my middle name,” Wren says, smiling as she finally finds her voice, and Emily and JJ exchange a sad smile.

“Yeah, sweet girl, like your middle name,” she replies, before tilting her towards Penelope, her eyes wide and shining, “And this is Penelope, just like Rosie’s middle name.”

Penelope clears her throat, pushing down the emotions that had climbed up it, and smiles at the little girl, “You’re very pretty, Wren Jennifer.”

Wren smiles at the compliment, “I look like Mommy!”

“Yeah,” Penelope replies, looking back at Emily, “You really do.”

Emily spots Jack and she puts Wren down, “Go with Jack, ok sweetie? Mommy will come find you in a bit.”

Wren nods and runs away, calling out Jack’s name in a way that is a little loud for a wake, but no one around seems to care. Strangers all smiling as the little girl is picked up by her brother and carried away. Emily turns back to look at JJ and Penelope and feels the awkwardness return, a mix of regret for the last few years mixing with defiance in her chest. She loved her life, and she’d done what she had to do.

“Sorry,” she says, her fingers immediately wrapping around her wedding rings, twisting them back and forth, “She’s nervous around strang…people she doesn’t know,” she says, correcting herself, the thought that someone she’d named her daughter after being a stranger to her too much to bear.

“So, where do you guys live?” JJ asks, trying to make the conversation feel a little more normal.

“New Haven,” she replies, smiling as she thinks of home, “We both teach at Yale. We both do classes in criminology and I do a few in linguistics.”

“You live in Connecticut?” Penelope asks, furrowing her brow, “You’ve been on the same coast all this time?”

“Well, not all this time,” Emily replies, “We were in witness protection in Ohio but moved up there afterwards.”

It had been something they’d gone back and forth on when they were deciding where to settle. Their home in Ohio had only ever felt temporary, the place they’d had to hide out from a man who had become so obsessed with Aaron he was stalking their son. Once they’d established they weren’t going to come back to DC they’d considered lots of places, but had settled on Connecticut, their life there different to how it had been before, and all the more precious for it.

“You never called,” Penelope says, and Emily presses her lips together before she blows out a breath.

“Neither did you,” she replies, no accusation in her voice, her smile sad, “I kind of always assumed you’d look us up.”

Penelope smiles wryly, “Dave had me under strict instructions to leave you to it. He said he’d never seen either of you so happy,” she says, looking at JJ before she looks back at Emily, “Who were we to mess with that after everything you’ve both been through.”

Emily nods, “How about we all agree to be better at staying in touch going forward?” She says, hoping it wasn’t a false promise, “You could come and visit, we have plenty of room.”

Penelope smiles, her expression widely inappropriate for where they were, “Oh my god you live in some kind of mansion don’t you?”

She presses her lips together to stop herself from smiling as she thinks of their home, how Aaron’s eyes had almost bugged out of his head when they first saw it. It hadn’t cost much more than their home in DC, but it was almost twice the size. Large and airy but comforting, everything she’d always hoped for.

“Something like that.”

___

May 2016

She’s chewed her nails almost to the quick. She knows he’ll pick up on it, that he’ll comment on the damage that she’s done, the spots of blood that always seemed fresh along her nail line, but she thinks she should get a pass.

Her husband had been arrested for something he hadn’t done after all.

It had only been a handful of days, three at most, but they’d blurred into one. Concern and fear that something would happen to him whilst he was in there, all of her previous jokes that all you had to do was look at him and you knew he was a cop haunting her as she failed to sleep. The team wouldn’t let her get involved, and neither would her direct superior on the Counterterrorism team, the job she’d returned to have she had the twins. Everyone sent her home, told her to be with her children, as if that would take her mind off of things.

Derek had been the one to call her to say they’d done it, that they’d proven Aaron’s innocence, and she doesn’t think she’d ever gotten out of the house faster. Jessica had been staying over with her since Aaron had been arrested, helping her with the kids and being emotional support. It was strange to Emily to think sometimes that one of her closest friends was the sister of her husband’s dead ex-wife, but life had always had a way of surprising her. Jessica offered to stay with the children whilst Emily went to the prison to meet Aaron, her desperation to see him clear.

She paces the sidewalk outside of the prison, what remains of her thumbnail in her teeth as seconds feel like hours as they pass by. She checks the time on her phone, her wallpaper, a photo of their family, of her and Aaron holding one of the girls each, Wren in her arms and Rose in Aaron’s, with Jack and Oscar on either side of them, making her ache. When the front door opens, the metal clang of it ringing out around her, she turns so quickly she pulls her neck, but she barely feels it. A shuddering sigh escapes her in relief as her eyes meet his. He was wearing the suit he’d worn when he last left home, rumbled and dirty now, and his beard had grown out a little. It was the first time ever that the sight of it made her feel nauseous, instead of the usual lust that would take over her. Dave is with him but hangs back, a few paces behind her husband so he can give them some time together.

They move at the same time, closing the gap between them as they meet in an embrace that winds them both, knocking the air out of each other's lungs as they hug tightly. His arms band around her back, holding her with such ferocity her feet leave the ground, her toes just about scraping the cement. She pulls back just enough to kiss him, her lips fierce against his as he kisses her back, his fists tight in her shirt. She looks at him, her hand on his cheek as she checks for injuries.

“Are you okay?” She asks, the question sounding ridiculous as she asks it, her voice croaking in a way she hates.

“I’m as okay as I can be,” he replies, pressing his forehead against hers, “How about you, and the kids?”

“Same,” she replies, “They are excited to see you.”

He nods, the thought of seeing his wife and kids, of holding them all like she was currently holding her, had been the only thing that had got him through the last few days. “I’m excited to see them too, as soon as this case-”

“No,” she says, squeezing him harder as he tries to turn away, to look at Dave over his shoulder, “Let’s just go home,” she all but begs, the thought of him going to work, of leaving her sight, too much to bear, “Please, the team can handle it without you.”

It’s a turning point in their relationship. She’d never asked him to step away from work before. She understood him, she was the same. They both valued their work and its importance, but this was different. This case, anything to do with Peter Lewis, was always trying to pull them apart, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

And from the look on his face, she doesn’t think he can either.

He crumbles, any resolve he may have had to not go straight home with her already weak as it was. He turns to look at Dave and he doesn’t even have to say anything, a sad yet knowing smile on the other man's face.

“My advice, as a man who has been divorced three times?” He says, stepping towards them and pressing his hand on Aaron’s shoulder. He smiles at Emily as he carries on, “Listen to your wife. We’ve got it, Aaron. Go home and hug your children.”

Aaron nods, not needing any further encouragement, and he looks down at his wife, “Let’s go home.”

Emily almost sags with relief against him, hugging him one more time before she pulls away, linking her hand through his, not wanting to lose the connection. She looks at Dave, her relief palpable as she speaks.

“Grazie.”

“Sempre,” he replies, winking at her before he walks away back to his car, ready to join the team to finish what they’d started.

Emily looks back at Aaron and squeezes his hand, “Come on, I’ll drive.”

He follows her gladly to their car, and it’s only when she lets go of his hand to dig the car keys out of her pocket that he sees her nails, now they’ve been torn to pieces. He grabs her hand again and looks closer, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of them.

“Em…”

She smiles sadly at him and shrugs, “Give a girl a break, my husband was in prison for something he didn’t do and I didn’t know if something was going to happen to him.”

He hugs her again, the weight of her against him soothing his weary soul as she leans into him, “I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

“It’s not your fault,” she says, cupping his cheek, the rasp of his beard against her skin a good reminder that he was here, that she had him back, “It’s all Peter Lewis,” she says, clenching her teeth, “And he’ll eventually get what's coming to him,” she leans forward and stamps a kiss against his lips, pressing her forehead into his, “Now, lets get you home and showered. You stink.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and she kisses him once more before she pulls back. Their car journey home is silent, his hand on her thigh as she drives, and she can’t shake the sinking feeling that this isn’t over yet.

___

Emily yawns as she runs her fingers through Oscar’s hair, the boy fast asleep with his head in her lap. They were back at their hotel, and even though he’d insisted he wasn’t tired, that he wanted to sit and watch TV with her whilst Aaron gave the twins a bath and got them ready for bed, he’d fallen asleep almost immediately. She’d considered getting him into the room he was sharing with Jack whilst they were here, but she so rarely got time with her youngest son like this anymore so she was relishing in it.

She looks up as she hears a door open and smiles softly at Jack as he walks into the room. He was still wearing his suit from the funeral but he’d taken off his tie. He was taller than her now, and looked so incredibly grown up it made her ache. It was strange to think he’d been younger than Oscar when she’d first started dating Aaron. Her boyfriend's son who had also become hers, her love for him no different than for the three she’d carried herself.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” She asks, still running her fingers through Oscar’s hair as Jack joins them on the couch, his sigh heavy as he sits down.

He hums and looks around, “Where’s Dad?”

“Right now I’d say he’s trying to stop the twins from flooding the bathroom,” she replies, watching him carefully, giving him a moment before she prompts him, “It must have been strange for you to be back here.”

Krystall had been buried in the same cemetery as Haley, so they’d made sure to take some flowers to rest there, placing them alongside the ones she knew Jessica made sure were always fresh. She’d spotted Jack standing there after the service, his eyes fixed on his mother’s headstone and his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“Not any stranger than it is for you guys I guess,” he says, smiling tightly at her, “Do you miss living here?”

She sighs as she thinks about it. The answer, as with most things in her life, wasn’t simple. She missed how it used to be, how this place used to make her feel safe until that sense of peace was destroyed for her. She’d worked hard to claw it back after Ian, with no small amount of help from Jack and Aaron, the two of them slowly helping her find her place here again. She knew that without them she wouldn’t have made it, that she would left much earlier than she ended up doing, but she would have been alone, not with the family that she had built around her.

“Yes and no,” she replies eventually, always determined never to lie to him, “I miss the team, how things used to be with them, but I love our home and where we live,” she says, smiling when he does, “Do you miss living here?”

He shrugs, “Yes and no,” he replies, his smile briefly wide as she rolls her eyes at his repetition of her answer. His smile fades and he looks down at his hands, sighing as he avoids her eye contact, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She frowns, her eyebrows creasing together as she looks at him, “What for honey?”

“I know we had to leave because of me,” he says, still looking at his hands, “You wouldn’t have lost contact with everyone if you didn’t have to keep me safe from that Scratch guy.”

She swears she can hear her heart crack, the sound reverberating around her head, and not for the first time, and certainly not the last, she internally curses a man who was long since dead. She gently shifts from underneath Oscar, placing a pillow under his head, and she moves closer to Jack, she cups his chin and makes him look at her.

“Jack, nothing about what happened is your fault,” she says, smiling encouragingly at him as she wipes a tear she knows he’ll deny existed later from his cheek, “You have nothing to apologise for. The only person to blame is long gone, and he can’t hurt any of us anymore. Your Dad and I…we did what we had to do. And I’d do it all again to know you grew up safe and away from it all, okay?”

He sniffs and nods, “Okay.”

“Good,” she says, pulling him into a hug that he gladly returns, his arms fierce and tight around her. For a moment she misses when he was small, when he could fit in her lap and her embrace would envelop him, not the other way around.

“Love you, Mom.”

She smiles and kisses the side of his head, “Love you too, honey.”

___

November 2016

Emily paces back and forth in their bedroom with a cranky and sick Rose in her arms. The 15-month-old was the latest to come down with the cold that Jack had brought home from school, and she refused to be put down, crying anytime she wasn’t in the comfort of one of her parents embrace. Emily doesn’t mind, happy to stay up the whole night if her little girl needed her, well aware that the baby’s clinginess was something the was a comfort to them both right now, the weight of her daughter against her chest one of the only things keeping her grounded.

“Mama,” Rose grumbles, pressing her face into her mother’s neck, as if she’d find the relief to her sore head and blocked nose there. Emily shushes her as she kisses the side of her daughter’s head.

“Mama’s got you Rosie girl, you’re okay,” she says, still walking back and forth, hoping she could finally get the baby off to sleep, “You’re okay.” She looks up as the door opens, her eyes meeting her husband’s as he steps into the room looking every bit as weary as she feels. He walks over and kisses her cheek before he does the same with Rose, his hand on the back of the little girl's head. “Is everything…”

He smiles tightly at her as she drifts off, the words dying in her throat, the now familiar fear that had been haunting them for months back in full force. Peter Lewis was stalking Jack. Following him everywhere, his own past imprinted on the 11-year-old through his obsession with Aaron.

“I’ve double-checked all the locks and the alarm, and we have some local cops stationed outside until we know what we’re doing.”

She chuckles humourlessly and looks down, relieved that Rose was now sleeping, “Yeah,” she says, sitting on the edge of the bed, keeping her daughter secure in her arms, “Because he’s never managed to sneak past cops before.”

Aaron sighs, overwhelmed by guilt as he pushes his fingers through his hair, “Em…”

“I know,” she says, clearing her throat as she shakes her head at herself, “I know, I’m sorry,” she says, unhooking one of her arms from around the baby sleeping against her and offering it out to him. He joins her on the bed, sitting so close their thighs are pressed together, and she wraps her hand around his, “I’m just scared, Aaron,” she says, her lower lip trembling with the force of everything she was feeling, “He’s never going to stop.”

He wraps his arm around her, tugging her and Rose into his embrace, his arms banding around them. He wished it was always this simple, that he could protect them all by just holding them, his embrace as safe a place as Emily had always said it was. He knows he can’t do that though, that he’d failed again and again to protect his family from a man who seemed intent on destroying them. He heaves in a deep breath as he prepares to say what's been on his mind all day, something he knows won’t go down well.

“I think you and the kids should go away for a while,” he says, and he feels her tense in his arms, her body immediately tight as she pulls back to look at him, her irritation at his suggestion immediately clear, “It’s the only way I can keep you safe.”

“No.”

He sighs at her tone, the complete lack of room for argument, and he feels his heart sink in his chest, “Em-”

“No,” she repeats, harsher this time, anger for the situation and everything they’d been put through since Peter Lewis first set his sights on Aaron finally breaking free, “We’re not going anywhere without you. I refuse. I��m not leaving you here as bait for a man that wants you dead,” a tear falls past her lashline and he wipes it away, his calloused thumb soft against her cheek, “I’m not doing it, Aaron.”

“He made me watch you die,” he says, his tone just as harsh as hers. He swallows thickly, his jaw tense as she frowns at him, her eyebrows knitting together. He’d never told her everything that Peter Lewis had done to him when he’d captured him, never quite able to bring himself to explain all the terrible things he’d seen, “He…you and the kids were dead. He tried to convince me it was real and it felt it.”

Her heart aches, the thought of it enough to stop her from breathing, and she holds Rose even tighter, taking a moment to kiss her cheek, “Honey, thats all the more reason for me not to leave you here. If he did that last time, god knows what he’d do this time and I…”

She doesn’t know how to explain it to him, how to put into words how this whole situation had shaken her faith in the system she’d always been a part of. The system she’d died for. How watching him get arrested and put in prison for something he hadn’t done, how he’d been treated by people he’d protected again and again, had made her start to question what the hell they’d both risked their lives for over the years.

She knew he was right on some level, that they couldn’t carry on as they had been, especially now the target had switched to their children, but she wasn’t going anywhere without him. She knew if she did, if Aaron was left alone, that she’d likely never see him again. That the man who had been taunting them for well over a year would likely get his wish and kill him. She didn’t want to raise their kids alone, didn’t want to have to remind her 4-year-old son and baby daughters how much their dad loved them, fill their lives with memories of a man they didn’t remember because he wasn’t there to do it himself. She didn’t want to take Jack away from his father for the second time in his life, to force him to once again live away from him.

She didn’t want to live without the love of her life.

“Either we all go, or none of us do,” she says, breaking the tense silence they had fallen into. She watches as he frowns, his eyebrows knitting together as her words wash over him. She places her hand on his cheek, “I am so done with what that rat faced fucker is doing to us, what he is doing to our children’s lives. Honey, they deserve to have us both, safe and with them.”

He nods, leaning forward to press his forehead into hers, his eyes screwed shut as he heaves in a deep breath, “It will mean walking away from everything. Our friends. Our careers. Our home.”

She nods, pressing her lips together to stop the shake of them, “I know, but we’ll be together. The kids will be safe,” she pulls back to look at him, her chin trembling as she tries to stop herself from crying, “And my home is wherever you are.”

He smiles softly at her, reaching out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear, “My home is wherever you are too.”

“This job has taken so much from both of us,” she says, shrugging slightly, looking down at the baby in her arms, smiling at the innocence her daughter had. The way her cheek was squished against her chest, her face relaxed as she slept, wholly unaware of the danger around them. She looks back at Aaron, “I won’t let it take you.”

He nods, leaning forward to kiss her forehead, lingering longer than normal, breathing her in before he pulls back.

“Okay.”

She feels like she’s been hit by a wave of relief, sure it would have knocked her over if she’d been standing, “Okay?”

He nods again and hugs her, “We’ll all go,” he says, the feeling of her sagging into his side the only evidence he needed that he’d made the right call.

“I love you,” she says, turning her head to kiss his throat, her lips soft against his skin.

“I love you too.”

For the first time in a long time, it felt like that would be enough to get them through.

___

“Ok, boys,” Aaron says as they walk through the front door, “Straight to bed.”

Jack and Oscar's exhaustion from the long car journey home is clear when neither of them argues with him, both nodding as they exchange goodnights with their parents before they head upstairs. He adjusts his hold on Wren, the 5-year-old fast asleep in his arms and turns to look at Emily, who had Rose in hers, her face pressed into her mother’s neck.

“We’ll take them up and then meet in our room?” He says and Emily nods, leaning in to press a kiss to Wren’s head.

“Night sweet girl,” she whispers, not wanting to wake either of the sleeping girls up, “Mommy loves you.”

They walk up the stairs and head into each of the girl's rooms, careful not to make too much noise as they go. Emily pulls back the covers on Rose’s bed and lays her down, grateful that she’d insisted the girls travel back home in their pjyamas, well aware that this would be what they’d end up doing. She tucks Rose in and makes sure her favourite stuffed animal is in reach and she leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. Rose stirs slightly, pulling the covers in tighter around herself.

“Love you, Mama,” she murmurs, not even fully awake, but aware of her mother’s presence.

“Love you too, Ro-Ro,” she says, using the nickname that Rose only let her use, “Go back to sleep, sweetie.”

She smiles as she hears her daughter’s breathing even out, and she kisses her forehead again before she stands up and heads to the master bedroom down the hall. She sighs as she sits on the edge of the bed and takes off her shoes, groaning in delight as she slips the heels off and lets them drop to the floor.

“It’s always concerning when you make that noise at anything other than me.”

She chuckles as she looks up at her husband, “Oh honey, you know you’re the only reason I ever mean it,” she says, winking at him. She raises her arm to offer him her hand, and he walks over, linking their fingers before he joins her on the bed. She rests her head on his shoulder and yawns, “I’m so tired.”

He chuckles as he kisses her forehead, “And you’re not the one who drove for almost 7 hours today.”

“I’m a passenger princess and you know it,” she says, wrapping both of her arms around his, hugging it to her chest, “And don’t act like you don’t love it.”

He can’t deny it so he simply kisses her forehead again and breathes her in, the smell of her shampoo as comforting as it always had been. He doesn’t miss the desperation in the way she’s hugging his arm to her chest, the way she’s pressing her face into his shoulder, as if at any second he’d be torn away from her. He know that going back had been hard on her, on all of them. That seeing their friends again, all of them making promises as they left that he hopes they all keep, had been draining. Emotionally taxing in an already charged situation.

“You ok, sweetheart?”

She hums, squeezing his arm a little tighter, “I just keep thinking about Dave,” she says, tilting her head to look up at him, “He loved her so much and now she’s gone. What do you do with all that love when you lose someone? Where does it go?” She asks, sighing sadly as their eyes meet, “I’m not expecting you to answer that by the way I just…I just keep thinking about how I’d feel if I lost you, and it’s unbearable.”

He pulls his arm out of hers so he can wrap it around her, holding her close and fiercely, surrounding her with his love to remind her she still had it.

“I’m not going anywhere, Em,” he says, cupping her cheek and making her look at him, “I’m right here - you haven’t lost me.”

“I know, but I almost have so many times and being back there was a reminder of that,” she says, her eyes searching his, “I’m so glad we’re home.”

He knows there is very little he can say to comfort her, that it will take days for her to feel like she’s on an even footing again, so he simply nods. He stamps a kiss on her forehead and then on her lips.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he says, kissing her again, “Me too.”

___

October 2017

She’s only just got both the twins down for their nap when the doorbell rings. She curses under her breath and hopes Aaron can make it to the front door before the doorbell rings again, the chances of getting both Wren and Rose back to sleep if they wake up slim to none.

She hears the front door open and sighs in relief, looking back at her daughters once more before she leaves the nursery. She hears the door close again as she walks down the stairs, baby monitor in hand, and she’s already talking by the time she makes it to the foyer.

“Who was that, honey? Was it the neighbour…” she drifts off as she looks up, her words dying in her throat as her eyes land on someone standing next to her husband who she hadn’t realised knew where they lived, “Dave?”

He smiles at her, “Hi Bella.”

She walks over and hugs him tightly, her eyebrows creasing at the sight of his black eye and the healing cuts on his face, “You look like shit.”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Nice to see you too.”

Any further conversation is cut off as Jack walks in, Oscar just a few paces behind him as always, and he freezes, “Uncle Dave?”

“Jack,” the older man says, looking past him, “And Oscar, you’re both getting so big.”

Emily looks at her husband, their eyes meeting in a silent conversation and she nods towards the boys.

There was only one reason Dave would be here, that he would risk the protection they’d been forced into almost a year ago.

“Jack,” Aaron says, making eye contact with his oldest, “You can catch up with Uncle Dave later, for now you and Oscar can go play.”

The way he says it leaves no room for argument and Jack knows it, grabbing his younger brother’s hand before he leads him away and further into the house, “Come on Ozzie, the grown-ups need to speak to each other.”

As soon as they are alone Aaron suggests they go to the living room, and Emily watches as Dave looks at the pictures hung on almost every surface of their house, a soft smile on his face as he takes it all in. They all sit down in the living room, Aaron’s hand tight around his wife’s, both of them desperately needing the comfort, familiar panic climbing up both of their throats.

“What’s going on?” Emily asks, “If you’re here that means…”

“Peter Lewis is dead,” he says, finishing the thought she hadn’t dared to verbalise, worried it was almost too good to be true.

The relief is palpable, overwhelming in a way that forces her breath to catch in her chest. It was over. The man who had tried to break them apart was gone.

“You’re sure?” Aaron asks, running his thumb back and forth over his wife’s pulse point, and Dave nods.

“Saw the bastard die myself.”

Emily can tell there is more to the story, a look in her friend’s eyes that he couldn’t hide from them, “What happened?”

They listen as he explains it all to them. How a new member of the team, Stephen, had died in the pursuit of Peter Lewis. How Dave himself had been captured, tortured with the same methods that had been used on Aaron years ago in an attempt to find out where they were. How Spencer and the rest of them had rescued him, and the final showdown that had led to the death of Lewis.

Neither she nor Aaron know what to say, the story heavy as it sits in the air around them, creating a tension that rarely existed in their lives these days. There’s a cry from upstairs, one of the twins awake before she should be, and Emily immediately moves to go see her, but Aaron stops her, his hand on her thigh.

“I’ll go,” he says, the tight smile on his face enough to let her know that he needed a moment, needed a few minutes with one of their children to remind himself that everything was okay. She nods and he stands up, walking over to Dave, who also stands, and pulling the other man into a hug, “Thank you, Dave. I…thank you.”

It didn’t seem like enough, and Aaron wasn’t sure anything ever would, but Dave simply nods, a soft smile on his face.

“Anytime,” he says, his smile turning into a smirk, “Although I think I’m too old to go through it all again so you two better stay out of trouble.”

Aaron chuckles and nods, patting his friend on the back before he leaves the room, his footsteps loud on the stairs as he goes up them. Emily looks at her friend and leans back on the couch, blowing out a steady breath as she shakes her head.

“What’s wrong, Bella?” He asks, and she raises her eyebrow at him, causing him to shrug, “That’s your tell.”

She rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath, “That’s what Aaron always says too,” she flashes him a smile, “I don’t know what to do next,” she says, overwhelmed with it all, with the fact they were free, “It’s been so long since we haven’t had to look over our shoulders for him. Fuck, I was still pregnant with the girls when this all started,” she runs her hands over her face, “I don’t know what to do next,” she repeats, not looking for an answer but unable to keep the thought to herself.

“Do you want advice from an old man?”

She smiles as she sits up a little straighter, “That’s the second time you’ve called yourself old since you got here, if you’re fishing for compliments you’re looking in the wrong place,” she jokes, smiling when he shakes his head at her, “Yes, I’d like some advice.”

“Don’t come back.” He says simply. Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it hadn’t been that, and she frowns, tilting her head at him in confusion. He chuckles, “Not that I don’t miss having you and your delightful personality around all the time, but the two of you seem happy. Happier than you’ve ever been.” he says, looking around the living room, gesturing at all the signs of their normal, happy life. Half-drawn pictures on paper strewn on the coffee table, photos of all of the stages of the kid's lives, brightly coloured plastic toys in amongst all of the modern furniture, “You have a life away from it all and as someone who has never quite been able to pull himself away, I think you’d be crazy to come back to it.”

She nods, her lips pressed together as she thinks about it. She’s not sure she wants to go back, the mere thought of it, of reintroducing that kind of danger to her day-to-day life, and therefore the lives of her children, almost too much to bear.

“I think you’re right.”

He smirks at her, “Things really have changed, I don’t think you’ve ever said that before.”

She shakes her head and chokes out a laugh, “Stronzo.”

He places his hand on her shoulder and squeezes, his expression serious again, “I mean it, Emily. You both deserve this. I’m not saying you should stay right here, but now he’s gone you can go wherever you want.”

It’s a type of freedom she’d missed. Her life hidden away for the last year or so as she waited for the other shoe to drop, sure every time that she heard a noise in the middle of the night that Lewis had found them.

“It’s strange,” she says, smiling softly at him, “I’ve started from scratch so many times in my life, I never thought I’d do it again.”

Aaron walks into the room, a sleepy but awake Wren on his hip, her tiny fist rubbing at her eye, “That’s a terrible pun, sweetheart.”

She looks back and forth between Dave and Aaron, feeling like she’s missing out on something as they both laugh, and she sighs when the penny drops.

“I didn’t mean that,” she says, unable to stop herself from joining in on the laughter, the sound light and free as it fills the room, “You jerks.”

-x-

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