#i've been on dates in real life

[thatstoomanysausages]

LIFE SERIES KILL COUNTS!!!!

I said I'd post this months ago when Wild Life came out, but I never got round to it, but here it is! The total and hopefully accurate kill count for every player in the life series. Now including Simple Life!

There are a few technicalities that I'd like to clarify before we start just so we're clear on what I've counted/not counted on certain things.

Official kill count includes when they are completely alive (i.e. zombies).

If someone kills someone in Double life, that is automatically two kills (because I can, and it's technically by proxy).

If someone spawned a mob (e.g. wither) and it killed someone (including themself), that counts as a kill (specifically referring to Grian and Etho in Secret Life).

Kills on the zombies (in Wild Life) are counted in brackets, same goes for the kills the zombies got.

For Gem and Lizzie, as they subbed in in Limited Life, those will counted for them in brackets.

Kill Counts with RL+SiL (Overall) 

(As of WL)

1st Place: Grian (51 kills) (64 with Zombies)

2nd Place: Scar (45 kills) (50 with Zombies)

3rd Place: Joel (43 kills) (51 with Zombies)

4th Place: Martyn (37 kills) (38 with Zombies)

5th Place: Scott (36 kills) (37 with Zombies)

6th Place: Impulse (22 kills)

6th Place: Pearl (21 kills) 

6th Place: Etho (21 kills) (22 with Zombies)

9th Place: Ren (19 kills) (20 with Zombies)

10th Place: Jimmy (15 kills) (16 with Zombies)

10th Place: Cleo (15 kills) 

10th Place:Skizz (14 kills)

13th Place: Bdubs (12 kills) (13 with Zombies)

14th Place: Bigb (11 kills) (12 with Zombies)

14th Place: Tango (11 kills) (12 with Zombies)

16th Place: Gem (9 kills) (12 with her ‘appearance’ in LiL) (18 with Zombies)

17th Place: Mumbo (8 kills) (13 with killing as a Zombie)

18th Place: Lizzie (5 kills) (6 with her ‘appearance’ in LiL)

Kill Counts (excluding RL+SiL) 

(As of WL)

1st Place: Grian (46 kills) (59 with Zombies)

2nd Place: Scar (42 kills) (47 with Zombies)

3rd Place: Joel (40 kills) (48 with Zombies)

4th Place: Martyn (32 kills) (33 with Zombies)

5th Place: Scott (29 kills) (30 with Zombies)

6th Place: Etho (21 kills) (22 with Zombies)

7th Place: Pearl (20 kills) 

8th Place: Ren (17 kills) (18 with Zombies)

8th Place: Impulse (17 kills) 

10th Place: Skizz (13 kills) 

11th Place: Bdubs (12 kills) (13 with Zombies)

11th Place: Jimmy (12 kills) (13 with Zombies)

13th Place: Tango (10 kills) (11 with Zombies)

13th Place: Cleo (10 kills)

15th Place: Mumbo (8 kills) (13 with Zombies)

15th Place: Gem (8 kills) (11 with her ‘appearance’ in LiL) (17 with Zombies)

17th Place: Bigb (7 kills) (8 with Zombies)

18th Place: Lizzie (5 kills) (6 with her ‘appearance’ in LiL) 

(If you have any questions on how I've counted things that I may not have mentioned, then ask, and I will add it into the bullet points if I feel it's needed! This took about 12 hours of back pain altogether, so I hope I've got things completely up to date (wiki stats were checked last on 8/4/25). If you have any statistics for someone you feel is incorrect, then I may or may not add it in. We'll see LMAO.)

[rainintheevening]

How do you build new plans for your life without giving up on the old dreams?

[platypusisnotonfire]

well.

I'm 30.

[eulogisemeao3]

"i live under your eyelids, i'll always be yours. i'll lay on the rooftop in the freezing cold, and i'll watch the sunset wearing all your clothes"

"and i smile when i think of all the times we had on the beach in the winter when the waves were mad"

i just keep thinking of #her in my new fic. i haven't spoken much about it yet but #they are preparing for a long distance relationship and young love is so funny like that because people think that's when it's the easiest but you're so young and know everything at nothing at the same time and you go through the most trials and tribulations together that people brush aside as novelty even tho you're so young (now i feel like taylor swift in cardigan lmaoaoa but yeah) and i'm most definitely rambling but i haven't even written this fic but i can imagine harry months after leaving sitting on the rooftop of his parisian flat thinking about louis because they're lovers in every universe and wowowow i just hope people see the vision like me 

[mychemikuromance]

Ugh

[offthewall1979]

my review of Moonwalk: hot mess. ★★★.

[getvalentined]

Thinking about finally throwing all my FF7 meta analysis and lore deep dive stuff onto a sideblog. It'd be reblogged from here, but I'd be able to organize it a little better, have a directory so people could find things more easily, and maybe it'd stop people from regurgitating things I say word-for-word for brownie points when they can just find and reblog the fucking original post(s).

[katya-goncharov]

every six months or so i randomly start thinking maybe i should try online dating, and then i'm like absolutely not because what about all the things about it that terrify me

[dee-daa]

pls i just wanna be picked up and twirled while wearing a long skirt like how they do it in romance otome isekai manhwa qwq

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[spaceratprodigy]

was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her

[foxgirlmoth]

I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.

Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.

Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;

[sophieswundergarten]

🌺? (Also, your tags with each answer are absolutely delightful)

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Nope! That is not something I have any interest or experience in, and I have even less interest in roleplaying it out as a fictional character who might be an even worse disaster than I am /j /lh

[chirpingchorus]

Nothing better than getting an idea that helps you write thousands of words without even realizing. It's never happened to me before this week (at least with fanfic) and I'm having such a great time! I write with the goal of others enjoying my writing more often than not, but it's so amazing to write something I'll enjoy reading someday, even if nobody else does. If it's complicated and convoluted... That's what I like!! Yay!!!

If any other writers see this, feel free to RB and talk about your self-indulgent story that gives you joy! <3 Doesn't have to be completed, or even started--mine's still in the outline phase!

[luv-again]

oh yeah, this morning I had a dream with my former qpp, so uh, now I'm upset ✨️

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.