#i've been meaning to do this for awhile tbh

[jess-the-vampire]

Afterschool

wonder what ever happened to this trio

[harbingerofwhump]

Hi hello I have a question for the Six of Crows fanartists*, if anyone happens to see this and wants to answer

*for the purposes of the question, this means literally anyone who's drawn Kaz using his cane (specifically as a mobility aid, not a weapon) at least once, even if you've never shared it

(But also if anyone wants to ramble about any aspect of their art or artmaking process regardless of if it relates to this please feel free to do so I love when people to talk about the things they enjoy)

Ok anyway on to the question: How do y'all decide on the direction Kaz holds his cane?

Because I've noticed some art shows him holding it the typical way --- so the long part of the handle (the beak of the crow skull/head) points behind him --- but a lot of pieces show him holding it like… flipped around? Backwards from the typical hold? I'm not sure how best to "label" it, but it would have the beak (long part of the handle) pointing forward/in front of him, instead of behind

(I think I've also seen some where he holds it sideways?? But I can't actually find any now so I might be wrong on that)

Anyway I'm just curious since it seems to be fairly mixed as to which one an artist or individual artwork uses

EDIT for clarification, in case anyone sees this without my reblog: there's nothing wrong with drawing the backwards hold!!** You can use a cane this way and many of us do at least sometimes; it has a different feel (at least it does to me) but it's absolutely useable with both the typical and ''backwards'' grip. This wasn't meant to be a criticism of accuracy or anything, I genuinely am just curious :)

**disclaimer that I don't know if it works with every type of walking cane/style of handle, but it does with the style I use and I feel like every design of Kaz's cane and the handle that I've seen is pretty similar in shape, so

[strawberrystepmom]

pairing: Kenjaku x F!Reader, past Geto Suguru x F!Reader

word count: 3.6k

about: you become kenjaku's captive to ensure that he will not miss his opportunity to fight the strongest after his return from the prison realm. the temptation of being this close to the last remaining earthly fragment of the man you once loved, suguru, proves too much to resist and you give into your desires despite the hole they're bound to leave.

contents: NSFW - MINORS DNI. DARK CONTENT WARNING, MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FOR CH 236 AND BEYOND | dubcon, manipulation, violence against reader, asphyxiation, kidnapping | reader is a sorcerer and went to school with geto and they had mutual feelings for one another, mentions of religion and references to god, kenjaku retained some of geto's memories and knows reader through them, reader has breasts and descriptions of vaginal anatomy are given, rough piv sex with little prep, reader is referred to as "girl", major character death (off screen).

notes: i've uh....been going through some things lately LMAO tbh i started this awhile back before thanksgiving but have felt weird about posting it and it very nearly stayed in the "between me and god" folder so i held back but today i said fuck it. if you read, thanks and i hope you enjoy!!!

header art is by jenny holzer and divider is by @/cafekitsune ♡

“The old occupant of this vessel was very fond of you, you know?”

How dare Kenjaku mention Suguru so casually, as if he were a tenant to his own flesh and bone instead of its rightful owner? 

“You know nothing about him,” The words are full of venom, flying from your mouth not unlike the way you spat at the curse user’s face two days prior to now. He chuckled when the fluid hit his cheek, wiping it off without a second thought. “Or me.” 

You felt so guilty for spitting at his face, the face of a man you once believed that you loved, that you wept until you began to dry heave atop the futon mattress in the room that has been designated as yours. It’s the same bed you rest on now, duvet over your knees that are hiked to your chest. It’s a means to protect yourself from any vulnerability but it’s truly no use. If Kenjaku wants to harm you, he will.

He has insisted your accommodations be comfortable since arriving three days ago given you are collateral and not a captive, his own clever wording for the situation, but you’re more than aware that if you were to attempt to escape from the cage that you’d hit the window just as all birds hungry for a taste of freedom do. There are no cuffs, chains, or bars but your freedom is no longer yours. It is a prize to be won pending the defeat of the man standing across from you in the doorway, shoji door open beside him, flowing hair as dark as the midnight sky brushing the backs of his elbows.

For years you wondered what you’d do if faced with Suguru again. Would you strike him, insisting he deserved it for all the hurt left in his wake? Ask him why in a scream so powerful your shoulders would shake with the weight of your fury? Perhaps you’d forgive him, as you’d been taught and encouraged to do your entire life, and those mumbled prayers cast to the God you believe in above you would be true for the first time since they’ve left your treacherous lips. 

“I forgive him, I hope you can, too.” You have begged God aloud and silently since sixteen years old. You have always been devout in your faith despite abandoning most of the tenets that make someone a believer, your lack of devotion not enough to deter you from selfishly asking for absolution for a man who you know deserves none.

God’s answer is clear when faced with the fact that this is not Geto standing in front of you. There is no less mercy a person can be shown than their body being used as a sick prop after their death.

The space where his thoughts and dreams and hopes used to lie is occupied by something far worse than just visions of a world purified through means of violence, a place where people like you could live without the threat of death and sacrifice to keep others safe. Granted, that wasn’t exactly a noble purpose either, but at least it didn’t threaten your life the way that whatever lives inside of his skull does now.

“I know more about both of you than you think.” 

Kenjaku’s words drip with smugness and your stomach flips. The natural responses of your body to a man who looks and sounds just like Suguru make you sick but you cannot focus on fighting them off and keeping yourself protected at the same time, you have to simply make peace with the butterflies in your stomach that feels like something is punching you in the gut over and over again. He dares enter the room and you scoot further up the futon, hitting the wall behind you and leveling a glare in his direction.

Suguru’s body reacts to you, as well, something that Kenjaku planned long ago to use to his advantage. It started with hazy dreams, a face he recognized as yours drifting through them, your thighs and your lips and your skirt. It’s a version of you a little younger, a little warmer - less edgy than you are now. You are sharp and finely tuned to harm while the version of you that lived in Geto’s mind will forever stay soft, a freshly unfurled rose.

“All you’ve done is vandalize him,” you accuse and he shrugs, dressed in a cotton yukata rather than the robes he stole in addition to the body they dressed. It’s easy to imagine another life where this is Suguru and you are you and he’s coming to your shared bedside, kneeling on the ground the same way Kenjaku is now while he invites himself to the only space you currently have as your own.

“You’re a smart girl, don’t play dumb.” Your glance moves from the doorway to him, disgusted by how brave he is getting this close to you. “Perhaps I’m simply using the power this body holds in the way he was too cowardly to attempt.”

Despite your current state of sitting in nothing but a yukata yourself, you are physically strong from spending the last decade of your life as nothing more than a glorified weapon to use in the fight against evil. Even if your Cursed Technique would be unlikely to have any effect on the man, you could be a difficult problem for him if you wanted to be, yet you sit and do nothing but wait and refuse to respond to his words. He chuckles at your stubbornness and reaches across the bed and your body to grab your chin between his thumb and index finger. He shifts your head until you’re staring directly at him and a smile crosses his lips.

You do not fight him off.

“Tell me, sorcerer,” he starts and you swallow, bottom lip quivering. You want to reach out and slap him away, to scream and kick but your body stays still, the only place blood is pooling between your legs and in the heat of your face. “Where are those teeth and claws you were so eager to show me on your first night here?”

He reaches his thumb upward and presses it against your mouth, stopping the shake with a single touch - your body’s natural reaction to a man you are now certain you loved, given it’s the only explanation for your behavior. It’s a form of trust, the muscle memory of a kiss he gave you in your dorm room at the school you once shared. The first night you were spitting and hissing, now you’re so placid.

“Nothing to say for yourself?”

Stubbornly, you shake your head and Kenjaku chuckles again, pulling his thumb away from your lip but maintaining the grip on your chin. You know this is not Suguru, it’s as clear as the stitches across the forehead of the practically empty vessel that further closes in on you. He moves silently until he’s mere inches away from you, his head hovering over your knees that are still pulled against your chest. You watch him with narrowed eyes, tucking against yourself tighter than you ever have as a means of comfort, but it does nothing to stop him from lingering.

“I could just make you speak if I wanted to,” he warns. The power in this situation belongs to him.

“What’s the point of fighting you? You’re going to do whatever you want with me anyway.” You admit, defeated. Whatever fight you had left in you was smothered weeks ago during the attack on Shibuya. Even the release of Gojo is not enough to fill you with hope for the future. It’s pointless to keep fighting when the only outcome is going to be loss.

The shaky sound of your voice makes the curse user move closer to you and you shut your eyes tightly, refusing to look at him lest your body continue with these inexplicable natural responses. Heart pounding against your chest, it’s inexplicably frustrating that it cannot seem to separate what your brain knows is true from what your body wants to believe.

It isn’t him, you scream within the confines of your own mind but it does not prevent your palms from feeling clammy and the squeeze of your inner thighs against each other to provide some relief against the heat in your core.

It isn’t him. It isn’t him. It isn’t him…

Chanting the words internally, you open your eyes and are met with a pair of golden ones staring directly at you. They’re the same that stared at you in a dorm room a decade ago although they’re missing the warmth they had back then, dripping honey sweetness hidden in the irises turned to tar. 

“You’re right, I can.” He nods and dark hair falls over his eyes, catching your eye. Your stomach turns when you spot the stitches across his forehead but your gaze returns to his so quickly you can hardly think about it. “But will it be what I want or is it what this body desires, I wonder?”

This piques your interest and Kenjaku tilts his head to the side inquisitively, dark hair sweeping over your knees and around your body. It feels like a curtain, a veil like the ones you are so used to using to keep people safe and ignorant and outside of your world of sorcery.

“What do you mean?”

A smirk is the response you are granted and he moves closer to you, one of his hands reaching for the duvet you’re using to cover you. Pulling it back gently, your robe covered body coming into view and once again, you make no effort to fight. With this barrier removed, he runs his palm over the outside of your thigh. Muffling your whimper at the touch, you attempt to hide your face in your shoulder but he stops you, still grasping onto your chin and still holding your gaze.

“Interesting.” 

His hand travels from the outside of your thigh to the insides and you gently spread them to allow him access before realizing what he’s searching for. Attempting to cut off his access by closing your legs, he holds your thigh in place and lets his fingers dip lower along the soft skin. You quiver and shake beneath him like a leaf clinging to the branches of a tree in winter, desperate for somewhere to remain, and those fingers inch closer and closer to your core. He stops when he feels the coarse hair covering your mound and dares to dip a single fingertip between your folds, raising his eyebrows when he feels the arousal seeping from you. 

“I knew it,” he whispers so low you wonder if you were even meant to hear it but the way he gazes at you, like that of a man starved, tells you that the words were meant for no one but you.

Your hand shakes as much as the rest of you when you finally lift it from your side, reaching out to him and taking a strand of hair between your fingers. It feels just as you imagined it would, silk between your digits, and a breathy sigh leaves you before you begin to cry. Dropping the small strand, you choose to reach out toward his forehead and use your hand to block the stitches covering it.

“Suguru.”

You babble the name like it is precious, your lip quivering just as it did before, and the evil man shakes his head, capturing your wrist with the hand he just removed from your chin. He lowers your hand enough that you can see the stitches unobscured.

“Kenjaku, actually.” 

He lowers your hand to his lips and kisses your knuckles, amused when you squirm where you sit, practically delirious with lust and confusion. You do not want this, at least that’s what you tell yourself while parting your legs further and panting, chest heaving with every breath.

Wordlessly, he uses his free hand to untie your robe and it falls off of your shoulders, exposing you to him fully before he can blink. This is something he remembers seeing in one of those dreams but you look different than whatever the imagination of a man who was infatuated with you was able to come up with during his loneliest hours. It amuses Kenjaku that he is the one to see you like this, bare and willing. 

Tracing down your belly and lower, he stops between your legs which makes you whimper. You’re so desperate to be touched, to pretend he is someone you’ll never have the opportunity to love as properly as you could have if you’d both lived a different life, that your hips actually arch off of the bed eagerly. It should embarrass you but you are past the point of humiliation, willing to be fucked by evil incarnate just for the sake of a taste of Suguru Geto.

“Pathetic little thing,” he coos and you say nothing in return. You’re well aware of your failings as a sorcerer and a human being as his fingers spread your labia to get a glance at what you have to offer. For a moment, you consider praying for Suguru again; to selfishly beg God to make sense of your own actions but you know that he no longer has mercy for an ill behaved member of his flock. You will simply accept the consequences, whatever they will be.

His thumb brushes your clit and you moan, tipping your head back and toward the ceiling. You wait for the sensation of pleasure to climb through you again but it doesn’t come until you look downward again, eyes fluttering open.

“Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Too afraid to look away lest it keep you from the only good thing you’ve felt in who knows how long, you keep your eyes glued to Kenjaku’s face while his hand works between your legs, spreading the slick from your cunt toward your clit and back down. If you could just shut your eyes, you could pretend, but they’re open and glued between your legs, watching every feathery stroke of his fingers through your folds.

Kenjaku’s cock hardens against your thigh and for a moment you dare to feel powerful knowing you aren’t the only one surrendering to the most base of your needs. He drops your hand and reaches for the tie of his robe, opening it and giving you the only look you’ve ever been lucky enough to get of Suguru’s bare body.

Scarred, honed, a tool - just like yours. If you weren’t so lost in the moment, the lifetimes you have imagined for years would be playing through your mind.

You gasp and knit your brows together, bucking against the increasing pressure of Kenjaku’s fingers while he brings you back to him and out of your head. Whatever you’re thinking about doesn’t matter when he inserts a finger inside of you, only testing how wet you are with no intention of preparing you for his cock. 

When he’s satisfied with how wet you are, he withdraws his finger and you whine. The sound is the most he has heard from you since the first night and it makes his eyes widen in interest. He shifts until he is standing between your spread knees and the realization that this is really happening hits you at once, your face flaming with desire.

“You’re so impatient.” 

The curse user tuts at you with a roll of his eyes and spreads your legs as wide as they can go to accommodate the width of his body. He’s broad in shoulder and hip and you bite your lower lip when he runs the head of his cock through your folds, following the same pattern of his fingers. You expect the teasing to last longer but it stops abruptly. Before you can take a breath to prepare yourself, his cock is buried to the hilt inside of you, and you gasp with wide eyes, shocked. 

“As good as you imagined?”

Words come to your mind but do not form enough to leave your mouth while he thrusts roughly, your body jerking violently against his. It’s painful, the size of him with little prep in conjunction with how he uses your body as nothing more than a glorified place to take his aggression out, but all of the numbness within you thaws and for the first time since you realized Geto was no longer Geto in Shibuya, you feel. 

It’s hard to name all the emotions you are experiencing because they blur into something barely comprehensible. Pleasure and pain and bone chilling sorrow, the kind that makes tears silently drip down your face while he takes what he wants from you. He doesn’t bother to play with your clit and there is no need to, the joy you’re taking simply from being used by Suguru’s body enough that the knot inside of you is slowly beginning to unravel. 

Skin on skin punctuated by his low grunts and your whines fill the small room and you are so lost, you lift yourself halfway up to meet Kenjaku and consider kissing him. Would it be close enough to kissing Suguru that you could eventually justify it or would it just sully the one good memory you have of him? 

You don’t have long to think about it before you are pushed back down to the bed, one of his hands caging your throat and keeping you pinned to the bed below. A reminder that this is for his pleasure and not yours although you feel yourself coming closer to the edge than you were just moments prior, shutting your eyes tightly. All of the motion inside of you stops, the hard thrusts of his cock ending, and your eyes shoot open.

“Remember what I said. Eyes on me or you get nothing.”

Nodding, you keep them open and he begins again, pace rougher than before. You can do nothing but grunt and struggle to breathe, his cock carving out space inside of you that didn’t exist until he entered you. Every kiss of his tip against your insides knocks the breath out of you and finally you cum in a strangled moan, walls quivering around his length. 

His hand inches further up your throat and squeezes experimentally. As expected, you do not fight back and he takes his indulgence with a grin, choking you with varying degrees of pressure and feeling your cunt spasm around him when he surprises you by tightening his grip. 

You like this. You want this.

He leans forward and shifts his weight to his arm and hand, finally spilling inside of you with a deep moan. Warmth fills every inch of you and you wish that you felt as full in your heart as you do in your cunt but a void remains.

Kenjaku’s other hand slides up your body and wraps around your neck, both of his palms resting on either side of your neck and fingers splaying over your throat. It’s dangerous to let him have this much access to any part of you that he could possibly crush but you do not move, tearfully looking up at him and sniffling. He increases his pressure, not enough to harm you, but enough to make you work hard and you realize how easily he could just…end this.

“Please kill me,” you beg while struggling to breathe, realizing what you’ve done now that the afterglow of orgasm can no longer protect you from the cold hard truth. 

You are a betrayer. You slept with the enemy to sate your own selfish desires and death seems almost too kind to beg for, yet you do.

“Kill me.”

Your face turns in shade and your vision is dotted with darkness, a miserable end to a miserable life you consider, but at least it will be over. The pressure of Kenjaku’s hands around your neck continues to increase until you are certain you are taking your last breath, lungs aching until he abruptly stops. He glances down from where he rests above you, half swollen cock softening and letting his cum leak out around the tip of it that is still inside of you and onto the sheets below. 

“I will not give you the satisfaction of death until you give me the satisfaction of watching you fight for it.” 

Removing his hands from around your throat completely, he glances down at the pressure indentions of his fingers with a smile. Your eyes flutter shut, you’ve passed out from lack of air, and he admires the heap he has left you in, reaching for your robe and wiping the remnants of his release and yours on the corner of it.

Nobody is coming to save you, a secret Kenjaku knows that you are not yet aware of. Satoru Gojo is dead, defeated at the hands of Sukuna. The news broke this morning and he was preparing to come to your room to let you know until this little distraction occurred. He had an inkling you were susceptible to Suguru Geto’s charms even from beyond the grave but he had no idea it would be this easy, your slumped form resting on the futon beside him. He pats your head as one would a treasured dog, long and loving strokes that do not stir you, your bare breasts swaying slightly with every breath you take.

The new world is on the horizon and he may keep you around as a plaything for a little longer than he originally intended.

[crest-of-gautier]

how is it that i finished reload three months ago but it feels like a lifetime ago... ("some" thoughts about reload under the cut... spoilers obv)

reload is like a mixed bag for me. there's aspects of it that i hold near and dear to my heart (ryoji mochizuki my beloved), while some parts of reload... i'm kind of... "eh... whatever" about.

i think my feelings ultimately boils down to the fact that fes and reload are two very distinct experiences. the differences between them feels most obvious to me with the gameplay changes, and added social events (dorm activities + linked episodes).

because these two games curate a different experience, i feel awkward when i'm confronted with the question of, "what version should i play?" to me, the question kind of has the undertone of, "what is the definitive version of persona 3?"

even though reload is arguably the most convenient and accessible version of p3, i feel that when i recommend it... i internally have a bunch of asterisks that come with it. this hesitance mostly comes from my opinion that FES has more effective storytelling for the messages that P3 wants to convey.

FES's gameplay mechanics adds to minato's characterization in ways that reload doesn't. it's stuff like the tiredness system, and how it adds to the idea that death literally stole minato's chance to live life normally without complications. it's the way minato can adapt to any of the weapon types of the other party members. it's the way that the party orders/command system was designed specifically for FES and SEES really feels like co-workers for a good chunk. you don't really feel that in reload as much.

there's also some things about FES's visuals that feel better (to me). the palette of the dorms feels more somber and it enhances the atmosphere. and the half body portraits, oh, the characterization of it all that comes from body language (ryoji mochizuki you will always be famous to me). you don't quite get that when you only have a bustshot to work with.

i do realize that me expressing my grievances with missing these things from FES can be interpreted as "oh, so you don't like reload?" and i want to emphasize that this is not the case at all. i think that fes and reload are both valuable experiences, just for completely different reasons. (the same goes for portable as well, it very much has it's merits too!)

despite preferring FES' storytelling over reload's, i am hesitant to recommend it. even though the game mechanics can add to the story, they are also dated and i can see how this can turn people away. do i love how arduous the climb up tartarus feels in FES? yes. i really feel immersed in the minato-ism. but would someone else like it? no. and that's fine too.

this is where reload feels "better" than fes to me: updating it to modern gameplay standards makes it easier for players to enter a flow state. i do feel that the way they went about it did undermine some of the Vibes of the Climb™ (see my talk about the great clock on main).

theurgy is also another one of the mechanics that i'm a bit 🤔 about. i like looking at the characteristics that build the person's gauge (i especially LOVE LOVE how yukari's gauge builds), it's fun for characterization! and the visuals themselves are super appealing and fun to watch. junpei's 2nd theurgy, blaze of life, is one of my favorites because i really love how it represents his bond with chidori.

however i also feel that theurgy is... very overtuned. like, what do you mean i'm sweeping nyx avatar off her feet, i am facing death head on in the eyes and you're telling me she's a cakewalk? (this also applies to some of the other bosses.) of course you can just opt to... not use theurgy, but it feels weird for fights to be framed as "tough and unbeatable" within the narrative only to get through them with relative ease... (ludonarrative dissonance moment)

it feels really funny to write all of this out because i'm sitting here like, "you know, i don't think no one will care the way i do 😂" and that's fine, to be honest! i find it fun to think about how changes to a story can enhance or detract from the overall experience.

i do feel like i could elaborate on the story additions/removals and how some of it made me go "huh" and "whuh" but. i won't. because this post is long as is. but maybe another day. (but know that i am crying about the things they removed for aigis' storyline)

now that i'm done airing out my grievances with the gameplay, i want to talk about the things i liked about reload. even though some things had me go 🤨, i did sincerely have a fun time playing it, and i want to celebrate those things!

for one thing, the social links being voiced really added to the experience. i really, really felt myself immersed in the storylines of minato's classmates social links in ways that i didn't when i played FES. i just really loved seeing how charaters like yuko and keisuke would speak... and everyone's casting felt on point, to me!

reload is also very visually stunning. guy who doesn't play the game because they're too busy getting lost in minato's eyes. it's me. i'm guy. i really loved the animated cutscenes. it's fun seeing minato in a new coat of paint. he's so near and dear to me and seeing him in HD got me crying in the club. some things fell short (why does nyx avatar's face feel so low res...) but LIKE overall i was like, a yippee trail seeing minato interact with port island. i love seeing him walk around.

the story addition i liked the most (oh my god this is going to be such a surprise) (it's not). the ryoji episodes were everything i imagined ryoji to be. you can tell that sogabe worked on reload. i love how aleks le brought him to life. the music box drives me crazy. i love how special ryoji and minato's bond is and seeing them be like, explicitly, textually written the way they were? earth shattering, for me. they made new year's eve even more (oh no i've been flushed down the feelings lane). how the fuck did they do that!!!

i also still really love most of the ENG VA cast and what they brought to the table. allegra clark's performance as mitsuru was especially standout to me... so was zeno robinson as junpei... but GOD!!! SEES felt so lived in. i love the passion the new VAs had for the game and it felt evident to me in their performance.

and that's my reload thoughts :) i think it's nice that reload exists even if some things about it disappointed me. i do wish i didn't have a bunch of caveats when talking about it, but like... i find it very fun to dissect my feelings on it??? given that reload had some things that didn't land for me, it makes it all the more important to me to thank reload for what (i felt) it did well, and celebrate those parts of it. p3 is very near and dear to my heart and i will always cherish the bits that felt resonant with me.

speaking of which, i do think it's nice that reload has been an entry way for people to get into persona... even though i haven't been engaging with the community as much as i used to, i do like that there's been more fanwork to look at... even if not all of it is my cup of tea...! it makes me happy that there's a resurgence of ryomina, but also the entire cast is... so shapely. i cherish them dearly and seeing that others also like them as much as i do makes me really, really happy!

i hope p3 can continue to make others happy the way it made me happy! the message will stick with me for a lifetime, methinks.

oh that's a lot of gigabytes.

[melmodest]

I shouldn't blame my emotional immaturity on the poor upbringing that's been given to a kid who wanted a hug, but all they got was an earful, but I do. Sometimes I feel like I've picked up callosity, drowned the empath I used to be in a puddle left by October rain, because I love fall and my birthday is in the end of October, my birthday is a notorious date to celebrate, when it comes I cry. I stopped waiting impatiently for my birthday, when I was 14 or was it 13, or earlier? I don't remember now, but wishes lost their meaning and I quit believing, magic is something I love to dream of, I wanted to be a witch like Sabrina, but fantasies are luxuries I can't have. They never come true. I've long learned if you want to get something, you have to earn it. You have to endure. You have to bruise, bleed and sell your soul – better on sale to be a more appealing offer on the market of neverending, tiresome, man eating conveyor creating obedients, too traumatized by reality to keep climbing higher, residing in the order of things. The flawed ones are those who couldn't eradicate their courage and strength to break outside voicing their desires loud, because they have been storing some magic inside their pockets all this time, refusing to give wizardry up. Because they grew up, but kept the kid they once were close to the heart. Because they don't blame their poor upbringing for being a jerk to the kid. Because they learned that the key to keep on living is to accept the endless reeling and move on.

Or, maybe, I should ask them for their therapist's number.

.

@literaryvein-reblogs “callosity” was on my mind since the first time I saw word list (and that was a very long time ago, tbh), just clicked with me, I guess. I couldn't find the right place for it for awhile now, until I did. or I didn't. nevertheless, what a wonderful word.

[inthelittlewood]

Just wanted to thank you really quickly.

I was raised in a very “men aren’t meant to be emotional” type household. I’ve been watching you for awhile, and especially today seeing a man be able to cry on camera and talk about dark periods in life and going to therapy and such… i dunno. it means a lot to me

No worries dude! No need to thank me. It's how we all should operate (or feel comfortable enough to do so) in an ideal world tbh.

I've always prided myself on being transparent with my audience and those around me irl.

I've learned over the years to not second guess myself when it comes to honesty. I've had friends come to me for advice and I'll give it to them straight, worded compassionately, but truthful.

Same for business too, I've had run ins with marketing teams, sponsors and production companies where instead of saying "I'm fine" at the time then avoiding working with them in the future, I'll actually be up front about what went wrong. Surprisingly, they've almost always come back with an understanding ear, fixed those issues and its meant I felt happy to work with them again.

Authenticity is something you'll hear people preach about and it always sounds like a buzzword, but it genuinely is the best vehicle towards happiness. It relieves you of future thoughts of "what if" or "oh god, why did I do that" - you can leave every encounter knowing you put your best foot forward at the time. No regrets to be had.

Keep being real and wearing your heart on your sleeve!! <3

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[66sharkteeth]

This ask is long overdue on my part, because it's something I've been wondering for awhile! You have said before that Rex was an OC you've had since like, middle school. Can you tell us more about that? Often I feel like, if a creator is too attached to their MC, it can show through, and make it less enjoyable as a reader, which is something that I worry about for my own creative work. But I never felt that way with Rex. Were there compromises you had to make for his character?

hmmmmmm -scratching head-

i'm not sure tbh. i mean to be clear, he's very different from the middle school version. i mean the VERY VERY first version of him was technically a stoic, edgy Cloud Strife rip off, but not long after I made the version that's more like what we know today. He was still kind of a silly goofball back then, but a lot meaner and mischievous. I remember in the RP with my friend that a lot of CoB came from, he literally pickpocketed Desmond, something he wouldn't do in a million years now. He has his faults now, but is still overall a boy scout compared to his original version (maybe the original version is coming out in his Scion tho lol)

Um... as for how I've kept him enjoyable though... Hm. I totally get what you mean when you can tell a character is someone's baby they aren't willing to change, but I think I've been lucky in the fact that I just like a lot of things that are enjoyable in MCs. Rex's biggest (personality) inspirations are probably Luffy from One Piece and Yato from Noragami, who I think are both very likeable characters (Yato especially is enjoyably flawed but still loveable).

I'm not gonna lie, the only "compromise" that comes to mind for me is maybe the shipping lol. If he was entirely self-indulgent OC, I'd probably have him end up with Desmond. But narratively, Bell is just the best character for him to end up with. I do love Rex and Bell to be clear but yeah i'm ngl, Rexmond's one of my favorite ships lol. They just have to exist in AUs unfortunately.

[lilbeanz]

Hello! Not an ask, just wanted to say I adore your content; you're so skilled. I came across your art first, and the drama of even the smallest panel; I'd been eyeing JoDT & sequels for awhile because it was a WIP, but I caved and binged bks1-4 in about three days. I reread the "Eat your heart out Pureblood society" scene at least once a day, thank you for that, superb execution. I also really liked, in the first book, the interactions between Malfoy & Harry, and the very gradual "well, he's our friend now." The development of their friendship has done a great job of re-defining the characters and their relationships. The series feels like its own thing, and the fact that Ginny never even had the diary in book 2 only cemented that. I've really appreciated the deviation from Draco-the-tortured-hero/Draco-making-amends (which I also love to read). Horrors of the Heir was a great twist and really put the whole series in another tier, tbh. CoS was like, my least favorite of the series as a kid (alongside GoF, which has grown on me as I read fanfic) and your version of bk 2 easily established the micro-obsession of your series for me. Also, Crabbe & Goyle?? "They're actually really good friends"?? "Just to see if we feel anything"?? Adorable. Obsessed.

tldr; Your rewrite of the series is incredibly unique, and I admire how you've really taken the series and made it something completely fun and new and modern 💜💜💜

Looking forward to the rest. Thank you for sharing!

AaaAaaAaaHhhHhhHh?!??!?!

This is such a lovely comment, I can't even -- I -- I'm --

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the series so far! It really has been such a challenging, fun project!

I adored writing the "Eat Your Heart Out" scene. People tend to forget that Draco Malfoy is canonically *very* dramatic when he wants to be. Yes, he can be sulky and scheming, but he also shouts taunts across the courtyard, and puts on scenes to make older students laugh at Harry’s expense, even going so far as to dress up as a Dementor to make his "rival" lose in Quidditch.

The Horror of the Heir was such an experience for me as the author, because CoS is my favourite book from the series (weird, ik) and looking back, I sort of realise I could’ve squeezed in so much more. But last May, 45k was a HUGE amount of words for me! And now I'm churning out 100k like nobody's business 💀

✨️Growth✨️

And speaking of growth, the reason I had Draco take Tom Riddle’s diary was purely because of growth. It would've taken him far longer to change as a person if he hadn't taken Ginny's place. A pivotal character development moment, as he reflects on his upbringing etc...

Crabbe and Goyle generally get overlooked in the fandom, and it really bugs me. Vince dies canonically, yes, but I absolutely love it when fic writers incorporate Greg as an actual character in post-war fics, and acknowledge that Vince was Draco’s friend.

It's always Blaise, Pansy, and Theo because they're intelligent and societies definition of "attractive." I mean, each to their own of course, but I could write an entire essay on the injustice I feel for Crabbe and Goyle!

And then, of course, the development of Draco’s relationship with the Golden Trio, specifically Harry. Just -- Ugh-- these silly kids make me so unhinged!😂

It wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows to begin with. Of course it wouldn't. It's a rocky start, with bumps along the way (and more big bumps to come), but I really do love the way I have progressed their relationship, and I'm not even gonna be humble about it! I really do love my own fic!!!

All this to say, thank you so much!!! I realise fix-its are a very popular type of fic to write, but I really do try to keep it as fresh and unique as possible, so the fact that I really am able to give my readers an experience means the world to me💖

[edenfenixblogs]

hope you dont mind me sending an ask being a total stranger and all, i just don't wanna bother op of that post

fd does bring up the fact kendrick is a BHI/hotep briefly, specifically that that's great ammo for a beef because to most people the bhi/hoteps are considered weird and embarrassing and would be insanely easy to make fun of in a beef (at least according to most black people I've spoken with & fd himself), but also he believes that drake probably doesn't even really grasp what they are because he's distanced himself in such a specific way from the black community (and arguably jewish community as well, though i think fd only kinda alludes to it) in a really specific way- BUT, that it was an evolution, he started out in a very odd cultural position where he was ostracized for simultaneously recieving antiblackness from white & jewish communities he was a part of but also seen as "not black enough" by many black people (and it's still a bullshit take people will have)

that desire to fit in is what led him down a shitty road, but also drake already clearly had some clearly terrible behaviors already. he talks about how kendrick was being unhinged too and isnt necessarily one to talk

overall the video is more about the music history behind it and the connection between it and the current culture, and just kinda what led to this climate that could want the downfall of drake

i dont know if i agree on drake not knowing about BHIs, though i could believe he doesnt with how he really weirdly constantly codeswitches even wrt jewishness, but imho fd doesnt like to touch on areas where he really cannot speak to the experience, he's said as much in the past, so he only speaks very briefly of the black perspective of how hoteps are goofy as hell

sorry for rambling, im really into music, think fd did the video well although i dont agree with all his opinions, and just wanted to articulate it correctly that it's really more about the musical climate than anything else :)

I don’t mind this message at all!!! In fact, I’m so grateful for it!

This is all really good info. I would believe that Drake didn’t know about BHI, tbh. I didn’t know about it until a couple years ago when Ice Cube (who I grew up loving 😭😭😭) did some heinous shit awhile ago and I was like “Why did my man come for us Jews what the fuck??”

And then a mutual told me about BHI and I looked up. And found a whole new group of people who hate, dehumanize and erase us. 🙃🙃🙃🙃

I mean, theoretically, maybe Drake may have had more exposure to it as a Black and Jewish man. His mere existence makes him more of a target for people invested in that kind of ideology. But also, I do and always have very much gotten the sense that he was ostracized from much of the black community for his Jewishness and mixed race reasons—not due any specific issue in the black community, but just because people are always dicks to people who don’t neatly fit into social categories in expected ways. I can also see how being a Black rapper in white-passing Jewish circles could have been very uncomfortable if those white-passing Jews were inclined to tokenize or exclude him. So it’s possible to me that his bilateral isolation might have insulated him from BHI discourse.

Tbh I don’t think code switching is weird in almost any circumstance. It’s just a development in reaction to your environment. I have a really multiethnic and multicultural family and code switch all the time. I think if it seems weird when Drake does it, it might just be because he has not developed (and tbh should never have had to develop) a strong sense of what “version” of Drake he is supposed to be. So when he tries to read the room and meet expectations, be just does it badly. But it’s not his fault in the long run. It is fault of people who expect him to fit those expectations in the first place.

I respect the hell outta fd for staying in his lane and only speaking on what he understands. And with this context I’m glad he brings up BHI at all. Because it *is* relevant. Being Black and Jewish ANYWHERE are both identities that permeate every single element of someone’s lived experience. When dealing with a beef between people where one is Black and Jewish and the other is Black and attempts to usurp Jewishness by re-categorizing it historically and racially…the cultural friction at play is absolutely relevant.

I’m sure it isn’t the whole story or even likely to be the most important factor in their beef. But it is definitely A factor and it wouldn’t have been right to leave it undressed. Especially when the beef took off as antisemitism more broadly was on the rise due to current events.

I am glad to know that most people still see BHI as a goody ideology. There’s still wayyy too many people who believe it, though. I’ve lived with the consequences of their hatred for white-passing Jews for several months now and it is…unpleasant. But mostly it’s heartbreaking. I grew up listening to Ice Cube. I used to cite James Baldwin. I adored Alice Walker. And finding out that they hate me one by one was devastating. But the worst part has been OTHER BHI folks using their words to justify their own hatred of me and all Jews like me while simultaneously making me feel like I was harming them in some way just by existing.

I want to be clear that I do not and never have believed that most black people believe BHI bullshit. I’m only saying that it was a shock to me the sheer number of people who DO believe it and how vehemently they hold that belief and direct that vehement *emotion* directly at me. It’s really good for me to know that people who aren’t Jewish are publicly speaking out against BHI bullshit. It restores a lot of hope for me.

So ok. I’m back on the “maybe I’ll watch in a little bit when I’m less raw” train. I also love music, even though I’m certainly not up to date on it. So I’m intrigued to know more about the musical landscape of what’s going on.

Thanks again!

[merakiui]

Oh so real!! Aaa I would love to learn more about RSA. It's been, like, what? 4 and a half years now? They've gotta give us something eventually!! (coping) I do think in general we should get more fun traveling events. I know we're getting those obviously with the hometown events, but I'd love to learn some more about the world that isn't the few countries surrounding Sage's Island? Like we still have no idea where Sam's hometown (Port O' Bliss) is! Though considering what Sam's twisted from maybe they could be saving it for something like halloween??? They probably won't tbh but it WOULD be really cool.

I want to update and say I unfortunately did Not pull b7 eel cards (Jade got me to about 87 before the banners ended, no chance to pull on Floyd 💔 so greedy) so I'm handing in my Jade lovers card and twirling his poor twin around. Floyd wouldn't do me and my savings like Jade did. Trust. This does remind me actually to reread some of your Floyd fics ,, it HAS been awhile I fear

It is a really cool feature!! And AAAA I LOVE BARB !! We share,, many fictional men. Right down to my poor poor childhood crush on Kyoya. Reiji though has plagued my brain for YEARS I would love to see what all you think of him if you ever do read a full translation!! There's been fan-made english patches made actually for the first two Dialovers games on the vita if you have a pc and patience with the silly silly world of emulators. It's how I did his Haunted Dark Bridal route :-) and goodness what a trip that game is!! Ohh Reiji and Laito the interesting little critters you are,,,,

Vampires though in general,, auughfhh,, I think about vampire fish a good bit honestly. I can't remember rn if I've stumbled across any works like that but maybe I should check ao3 after this,,, for science. of course. Also don't worry about answering these quickly or anything. You could respond to this in a month and I'd still have the same joy reading your response as I would if you'd responded immediately. So always take your time.

(Also I wasn't sure how to throw this into my ask, but have you ever shared your twst friend codes here? If not, would you be open to doing so? If you aren't it's totally chill!! But I'd been wondering for awhile :]! )

- :3 anon

Begging twst for an RSA event!! OTL I want to see the inside of RSA and see more characters from there,, more Neige and Che'nya!!! Omg and it would be so fun to learn more about places beyond Sage's Island and the other areas nearby. I would love more Sam crumbs, especially hometown crumbs!! Thinking about a Princess and the Frog inspired Halloween event,,,, AAAAA THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING!!! OTL OTL hoping with all of my heart for something.....

No eels... (◞‸◟；) I am sorry you couldn't bring either of them home. Those rotten eels!!! ( ｡ •`ᴖ´• ｡) how can they be so troublesome and slippery!!! Friendship ended with Jade. Floyb is the new bestie and he would never treat you or your savings in such a disrespectful manner! Certainly not in the way Jade did. I hope he will comfort you more than Jade ever could. <3

We are on the same wavelength, :3 anon!!! Immaculate taste as always for us hehehe!! We are passing the fictional men around and letting them spin in our brains like conveyor belt sushi! I definitely want to learn more about Reiji because he was one of the brothers I sort of,,,, ignored due to my lack of interest. ^^;;; but now I am very intrigued. What do you MEAN he creates drugs and potions and other nefarious things!!!! I fear I am not immune to a cordial smile and the drugs slipped into my tea (winking and nudging Reiji). How terrible it would be if attractive vampire with glasses did that to me...... uuwaaaa,,, I want to be able to play those fan-made patches!!!! One day I shall have a PC that allows me to unlock full gamer potential like Idia. >:D haunted dark bridal route sounds so fascinating... 👀

AND LAITO!!!! Dare I say,,,,, what if Cater x Laito crossover!!!! Cater in Laito's outfit,,,, VAMPIRE CATER?!?!?!?!?!?! OTL my brain chemistry was irreversibly altered when I first watched that church altar scene in the anime. LAITO, THE VAMPIRE THAT YOU ARE!!!!! Truly the most interesting of critters.

Vampire fish my beloveds. AAAA I just love vampires. <3 gothic vampire Azul is amazing, but I also love modern-day vampire Floyd....... and of course vampire Jade who loves playing with the cute vampire hunter who is after him. Many thoughts for those three. May you find plentiful vampire works in your very scientific ao3 search!!!

UUWAAA you're too kind and patient,,, 🥺 thank you so very much... I would feel so terrible if I responded as late as a month later!!! orz but it's a relief to know you would still be happy to read my thoughts. Please also take your time in replying!! There is never any rush.

:o I haven't shared it before!! Here it is below! Feel free to add me as a friend! My profile is very Rollo as of this moment. I hope my level 105 tako card can be of use in battle. 🐙 ✨

[l3viat8an]

OMG FINALLY!!

I've been trying to send an ask for the past 3 days and it wouldn't let me 😭

The levi brainrot is bad‼️

Okay so imagine this

After living in the hol for a while you notice things begin to go missing, specifically your panties. You decide your just being forgetful of where you placed your things and move on. One day, Levi asks you to meet him in his room, but when you arrive he isn't there. You wait for awhile but he shows no sign of arriving, so you, being the little nosey thing you are, begin to look around. It starts off innocent, your admiring his figurine collection when you see a hint of red fabric out of the corner of your eye. You walk over to his bed and grab the clothing item to find its your..panties? You look down and see a box peaking out from under his bed, you grab and open it. It's all of your panties that went missing! But, why does levi have it? You hear the door open and then leviathan screams. You turn around, box in hand, and see how red levi is. I mean, he's redder then the fabric you were previously holding. He begins to stutter out an explanation and it finally hits you. "Your a pathetic little panty stealer, huh levi? He practically moans at your words as you notice his growing buldge. You look at him, a devilish look in your eyes. "Y'know, if you wanted me this bad all you had to do was ask." Hes panting at this point so desperate for your harsh words "But now that you've gone and been a little thief, you'll have to beg for it." You slowly walk towards him, "Well? Are you gonna be a good little slut and beg?"

That got a lot longer then I planned it to be 🧍‍♀️

-🕸

Nsfw content MDNI

Istg I still don’t know what’s wrong with my ask box 😭 it hates me I swear!- and uhhhh idk what happened Levi just eats at my brain 🧍🏼‍♀️CW: probably typos, sorry!! dom (?) gn!reader. Hand job / blowjob, ruined orgasm, degrading, lil bit of marking (my biting kink tbh) (Levi receiving all of it!!) 

Levi felt heat rush to his face at your words, his breath hitching as he tried to wrap his head around the situation. He had never wanted you to find out……but at the same time, the way you immediately talked down to him….well, he’s a pervert….it turned him on.

"I-I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself…” Levi whispered, his eyes locked onto the floor. "Please...please…..please let me make it up to you. I'll do anything. P-please…”

You smirked at his words, just taking a moment and basking in the power you held over him. You slowly walked towards him, your hand reaching down to grab his stiffening cock, clicking your tongue in mock disappointment, "Anything, huh? Well then, let's see just how far you're willing to go.”

Levi let out a small whimper as you began stroking his cock through his pants. He was completely under your control….and he loved it~

"Please, please, please f-fuck…please M-MC, I'll- I meant it!! I’ll do anything, just t-tell me….” he begged, his hips thrusting into your hand.

You pull his cock out and rub your thumb over the tip, giving him a few slow strokes, “Then you’ll be good for me, right Levi?”

Levi nodded, immediately, “Y-yes!! I'll be good for you, MC, I- I- oh fuck- I promise…please” Levi replied, his voice shaking as you continue to tease his cock.

Levi whines as the feeling of pleasure building as you worked him harder. Soon he was gasping for breath. Fuck it felt good to have such a powerful demon weak from your touch~

You leaned in close, your hot breath tickling his ear. "Dirty pervert…..you really are gross Levi…” you murmured, as you brought your lips to his neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. “Yes!! I am, s-so gross…p-p-please don’t stop!!!”

Levi moaned, his hand reaching up trying to grab onto your hair as he tried to keep himself from giving into the pleasure, just yet.

Obviously you weren't done with him~ You pulled away from his neck, eyes locking with his as you slowly sink to your knees.

"At least you know…..but now…let's see just how good you can be.” you said, as you wrap your lips around his cock.

Your lips and tongue working in tandem to push Levi closer to the edge. You could feel his body tensing up with every passing second, his hips  subconsciously thrusting forward as he gave in to the warmth of your mouth.

With each flick of your tongue, each gentle suck of your lips, he was pushed closer and closer to his orgasm. Levi is panting heavily now, one hand covering his face as the other tangled desperately in your hair as he begged for release. Endlessly self-degrading words fell from his lips as you sucked him off……

Before Levi knew it, you were pulling away….his orgasm ruin and you standing up, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

A satisfied smirk across your face when Levi sobbed out “W-why w-what are you doing?!?” But you still pulled away, "I'd say you made it up to me, Levi.” you said, a sly twinkle in your eye, as you made your way to his bedroom door.

Opening the door and stepping out into the hall, “Oh and Levi~” you waited until he looked at you, “-no cumming until I say you can.” and you’re gone.

Leaving a very red, very horny and very upset Levi in his room. Alone again.

[ghostlee]

do you got any headcanons for Macaque? or can I share some of mine?

I've pretty much been seeing him as a lee or perhaps a lee-leaning switch the entire time I've known of him. I think his death spots are his ribs (the ones near his underarms are the most sensitive) and his lower back, like right around the base of his tail. his favorite spots are his sides and stomach and his ears

his tickle laugh is very different from his normal laugh. a lot more carefree and silly. and squeaky. he's the squeaker

I think he likes being tickled because 1 the touch starvation and 2 it offers an alternate way of showing affection to the people he cares about (I'm projecting hard on him here I'm sorry 😭 I've been hcing him as aromantic with an aversion to romantic-type affection bc i like projecting my own identity onto my faves SORRYYYY)

i think soft tickles are the type that affect him the most, though he does like both gentle and rough playful tickles. sensory heaven to be quite honest

also a fun headcanon I've ended up subscribing to (for both macaque and wukong tbh): if they laugh hard or long enough they end up making little monkey noises in between laughs. silly little chirps and trills. I don't think they even notice it until someone points it out

NO WAIT THIS ACTUALLY LINES UP PERFECTLY TO HOW I SEE MACAQUE AS WELL LIKE SCARILY ACCURATELY LOL

I also 100% project onto Mac with the Aromatic and aversion to romantic-type affection since I’ve leaned towards that for awhile now myself. The touch starvation thing definitely would be something that gets to him, I’d also like to think that Sandy is actually a reallly good like soft ler for Macaque, he can just pick Mac up in his arms and just wiggle his finger softly into his stomach while he hides his face and lets out little chirping noises.

Sandy would 100% be that kinda ler that WOULD tease, but would also just give the lee what they wanted kinda thing. Like he wouldn’t try and pull macs hands away from his face or make him say something to be tickled, he would just tickle him because Sandy truly knows that he just NEEDS something to laugh from yknow.

The teasing he would do is subtle comments to Macaque like “wow Mr.Maquack your sides are really ticklish.” And verbalize things to him as he tickles that Macaque won’t comment back on but will do certain body language like scrunching up his shoulders more or curling his tail in to show that he heard Sandy.

I think Wukong would also be a ler for Macaque but definitely more of the ‘you did this, so this is my retaliation’ kinda tickling. Wukong does have the ability to be gentle with Mac though when tickling him but would be the type to call Macaque for enjoying it lol. It wouldn’t be mean or anything, just more of a general observation like “huh it almost seems like you enjoy this!” And will usually get a “shut up” in response and Wukong will just smile and keep tickling him lol.

MK would be afraid to tickle Macaque at first due to how they met and such but in the later stages of their friendship MK grows more confident to mess around with Macaque like friends would and probably got dragged into tickling Macaque with Wukong the one time when the monkey king was being a little shit and wanting to show off to MK that he knows one of Macaques weaknesses. Que Wukong jumping on Macaque and tickling him, they unceremoniously fall to the ground their tails wipping about as Macaque starts laughing while Wukong tries to pin him down and use his tail to tickle his stomach.

MK is standing there in awe before Wukong gestures for him to come over and help him. Macaque sees MK looking at him nervously and he just sighs and stops fighting and let’s Wukong switch to just holding his arms down so that MK can sit on his legs and he experimentally pokes around Macaques stomach and feels the shadow monke twitching and jumping with each poke. MK looks up and sees Macaque has buried his face into the side of his arm below his scarf and MK smiles at him.

“This is what Pigsy does when he tickles me!” MK says happily and scitters his fingers up over Macaques ribs closer to his underarms as he feels Macaque arch his back up into the tickling fingers as he squeaks and lets out a few barks of laughter.

They all have a happy wholesome time tickling Macaque and in the end Mac secretly loved the physical affection he got.

AND THERES SOME LEE!MACAQUE FOR YOUUUU

Feel free to ask anything about Nezha and Macaque or other LMK characters and if I have ideas on them I’ll rant about it! <3

[charlie-pippin-faraday]

danganronpa v3 chapter 3 pre-investigation running commentary (writing down my thoughts live as i had them):

all that kaito and maki stuff i'd heard about prior to playing the game? i get it now, i've finally reached the bulk of the content. it's cute. the bright sunshiney guy dragging the murder girl around and making her be involved even when the rest of the group wants to shut her out - this is a recipe for ship success

i remember awhile back being like "is the vibe of this ship 'aw he's the first person that's ever been truly nice to her'?" and i was close. it seems like the vibe is more accurately "aw he's the first person to ever truly believe in her." that line of thinking is gonna go a long way in breaking down her mask that he CONSTANTLY talks about and getting her to trust him. yeah this is the good shit right here, i'm into it

i do wonder what these people are thinking watching me come into their labs and tear apart the entire room looking for money

the fourth floor music is so funky and strange, i love it

tenko flipping shuichi onto his back and then doing the EXACT same thing to himiko is the most i've respected her this entire game. finally, some equal rights. and her treating himiko semi-normally

sooo...miu and keebo were definitely having robot sex, right? do we all agree that that was robot sex that i witnessed? that was uhhh charged and dirty and i felt i shouldn't be listening. shuichi is definitely not beating the pervert hat allegations by fucking spying on them during that oml

maybe now that they're fucking this means miu and keebo will unionize together against kokichi's bullying. they could certainly use the help from teaming up. i feel like kokichi has been targeting those two specifically. (and also maki, but i don't think maki is worried about him lol)

i may be playing this game as shuichi, but i'm pretty sure kaito is actually the main character of this story lol, he's certainly acting like it

tsumugi calls herself "just plain" like WAY too much. i'm getting suspicious

god damn it when am i going to see MY ultimate lab? i want to see my moody detective lab!! where the fuck is it?? on the damn roof???

actually now that i think about it that's probably where kaito's lab is. btw there is nothing i want to see more than the astronaut lab, that's gotta be beautiful and trippy af. tbh i'm hoping it's just decked out in galaxy patterns

so as of this chapter there are 6 labs left to be uncovered: shuichi's, kaito's, keebo's, kokichi's, tsumugi's, and poor dead rantaro's (whatever rantaro's might be). kaito's has gotta be on the roof, and i'm pretty sure kokichi's is the mysterious black and white checkered door on the first floor that i can't open (matches his scarf). there's some empty space out in the courtyard so i think one of the remaining ones will appear out there. i think someone's might be hidden past that weird scroll on the fourth floor? and at least one of the remaining ones will be on the roof/top floor with kaito. guess i'll have to wait for a future chapter to see those

miu is already getting horny toward me in like her second free time event, and if i get her the bondage boots that are currently available at the casino i think that may be a one-way ticket to her fucking me

when i approached tenko during free time she was standing on one of the pillars in her dojo which was way funnier to me than it should've been

every time i talk to gonta but don't spend free time with him i feel so horribly guilty

what's going to stop me from just spending all of free time endlessly walking about the school gathering money?

answer: the 999 coin limit apparently

noooooooooooo my beloved keebo got brainwashed!!! keebo snap out of it!!! noooooo!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna know how angie does her brainwashing. she got tenko who hates her, and then she somehow managed to brainwash a robot which i'm very curious about

doing the "man's fantasy" scene immediately after the student council atua scene felt very clashing and jarring lol

shuichi is DEFINITELY not beating the pervert hat allegations after uhhh watching the girlies change in the locker room???? uhhhh dude wtf. if miu knew i'd done this AND walked in on her sexy time with keebo she'd never let me hear the end of it

i'm worried about kaito, he's been acting very strange ever since the formation of the "student council." since he's a very vocal leader, did angie, like, poison him to keep him out of her way???

maki will hang out with me now???? dude i was so shook i changed my free time plans. i usually hang with keebo but i didn't want to spend time him while he was brainwashed, so i hung with maki instead and gave her boba tea. emos need to stick together. side note: does kaito have a type? i'm pretty sure shuichi and maki were cut from the same cloth lol

does maki ring the doorbell incessantly exactly like kaito? lmao that's cute

i knew we weren't done with rantaro, there are too many unanswered questions about him

lmao nice reference to junko and mukuro. suspiciously meta

kokichi bringing up that rantaro might've been working with the mastermind and they let him get killed on purpose is a fascinating possibility

so we're killing angie, right? we're all in agreement that we're killing angie? she sucks, and that's the most efficient way to stop this brainwashing

this resurrection ritual is most definitely a trap. it's going to require sacrificing someone and/or backfire and lead to someone dying

i want the kaito monopad theme, because the purple theme is so aesthetically pleasing to me. but it costs so many casino dollars, which means i am going to sit here playing salmon fishing until i go insane. brb

we did it, gang. we made miu fall in love with me

i have been pursuing free time events with 3 people this playthrough: kaito, keebo, and miu. keebo and kaito have kind of been locked out for the latter part of the chapter bc keebo is brainwashed and kaito is mysteriously ill, so that led to me to fast-tracking my miu events, and i've got 5 fragments and her skill. additionally i've hit the bullseye gift-wise, i think i've given her top tier gifts every single time, so i like to believe she's extra in love with me

shuichi doesn't really seem to care all that much about miu's feelings for him, other than to remark "that's a bit over the top. but i'm glad we're bonding!" miu admitted her love and said we're going on a date when we get out of here, and shuichi was like "k cool whatevs." the feelings are not requited on shuichi's part lol. i guarantee you if this was kaito shuichi would be all 😍😍😍

why did she give me her underwear tho? i am uncomfy about this. miu is the only person it makes sense would give me her underwear. is this what everyone gives you at the end of getting all their fragments?? someone plz tell me if i'm on track for acquiring kaito's and keebo's underwear in the future

i was over here concerned that someone had poisoned kaito but it turns out he was so afraid of ghosts it made him sick to his stomach lmao kaito plz

aw kaito got cute nicknames for maki now?? yeah she's absolutely gonna fall in love with him and hate herself for it. he's definitely already got it bad for her but there's no way he's aware of it yet, he's just treating her like this on instinct lol

i knew tenko wasn't actually brainwashed! that hadn't made sense to me, she hated angie way too much to willingly go along with her plans like that

the second himiko said "i've been calling to her but she won't come to the door" i said to myself "oh she's dead in there"

bro is kokichi following me around? he popped up out of nowhere to unlock the door. i get the feeling he's a little obsessed with me, but he's also a little shit and i don't trust him

well, i say that, but he was actually among the people whose opinion i trusted the most once the student council started asserting their will. i tend to trust people who aren't brainwashed ya know

my reaction to learning that angie was dead:

can't say i'm that upset about it, she sucked tbh. now can we get to unbrainwashing the rest of the council? because i need my boys keebo and gonta back. and like tsumugi and himiko too i guess, but like whatever i sincerely do not care about either of them. but i need keebo returned to me i miss him and seeing him brainwashed is breaking my damn heart

[n0v4t33z]

The Piece of Eight - Assimilate and Assault

Pairings: Capt. Hongjoong X Female Reader , Crewmate San x Female Reader (Overall not chapter specific)

Genre: Pirate AU, Romance, historical-ish (not really), Action, Angst, Non-Idol AU

Word Count: 5.1k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Violence, Language, mentions of blood and gore, Highly Suggestive at times (This is a warning for the whole story overall)

Chapter specific: Some suggestive conversations?, straight up violence for some of it (HERE'S YOUR WARNING IF YOU DON'T LIKE GRAPHIC VIOLENCE), enemy says vulgar shit to y/n, lots of blood, y/n's PTSD makes a small appearence, Mingi being a little weird (let me know if there's anything else)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist ⚓ | Masterlist 🏴‍☠️

Author's Note 💌: Hi I finally had some time to edit and post this lol it's very short but it gives you a peek into MC's first day with the teezers. Also I had to change the color scheme bc Tumblr wanted to be mean and remove the yellow text option so I chose orange bc ateez. Tbh I've been so tired from work I've been procrastinating editing this and i've just been working on the most recent chapter of the story which is easy writing but I decided I need to at least post something so I hope you enjoy this chapter and please look forward to the next one! - N 🌙

✦•·····································•✦•·····································•✦

A few hours later I wake up and it’s dark. Eledonia was also now gone from the horizon and as I look around at the endless dark sea I realize a blanket is wrapped around me.

It was most likely Seonghwa since Hongjoong did say he’d be coming by later to show me to my room. I keep my gaze fixed in the direction of Eledonia and now is when it sinks in that I will not be seeing my family in awhile. I sit there welling up in my own thoughts until a gentle tap on my shoulder disturbs them, it was Seonghwa. 

He gives me a soft smile and says “Hey, you’re awake now. Let me show you to your room so you can sleep comfortably.”

 I get up and he helps me with my bag while I silently follow behind him with the blanket still wrapped around me since It was quite chilly. We walk down to the crew’s quarters which is located towards the front of the ship. I walk down and I notice nothing was separated, everyone was sleeping in the same room.

 I could see six figures fast asleep in their own beds then Seonghwa leans over and whispers “Go ahead and sleep on my bed, I’ll be keeping watch tonight up in the crow’s nest so I won’t be using my bed. Don’t mind everyone else, sleep well okay?” 

He sets down my things next to his bed and gives me a smile and a nod goodbye. After I’ve quietly settled down on Seonghwa’s bed I notice it’s quite comfortable, more than mine back at home. Which led to me falling asleep pretty quickly.

 In the morning I’m woken up with voices, all of them belonged to the six figures on the beds last night which obviously belong to my crew mates. Since I have a habit of sleeping with a blanket over my head I lay perfectly still and pretend to be asleep then I hear someone say “That’s not Seonghwa. Is that y/n? The Captain’s new protector?”

 For some reason I’m terrified now that I’ve made my existence known. Someone then answers “Nah I don’t think it’s her, why would she be sleeping in here? I’m sure that’s probably Seonghwa being lazy.” 

Suddenly, something presumably a pillow is thrown at me followed by “Get up Seonghwa or you’re not getting any breakfast!” Followed by someone pulling the blanket from over my head harshly then complete silence. 

I open my eyes and and realize 6 men standing around the bed I’m laying on with some of them with their mouths agape. Then someone says “What the fuck? She’s sleeping in Seonghwa’s bed?” 

Slightly irritated from how embarrassed I was I sit there in silence glaring at them. Followed by Mingi chuckling then reaching over to grab my arm  “Hey let’s g-” Before he’s even able to finish his sentence I grab his wrist and twist it “Don’t touch me.”

 Immediately he pulls his hand away and massages his wrist and says “She’s feisty.” The man with puppy like features looks over at the blue haired male “Mingi stop..” 

I throw the pillow at Mingi who gets bonked in the head then manages to catch it “Look, just- can you understand how I was woken up? Like that was such an aggressive and rude way to wake up it was so uncalled for so, can you blame me? Especially your so called superior, you’re really going to disrespect him like that?”

San looks over at Mingi says “I agree with her, that was rude. Especially towards someone who’s not used to the way we play around” 

Mingi playfully punches San in the arm “Loosen up San, it was a joke.” San turns and looks over at Mingi with a glare. 

Wooyoung raises his eyebrow “Wait, so are you really the Captain’s protector?” I bite the inside of my cheek “Yeah, otherwise what else would I be doing here.” Mingi responds “Our-” Yunho immediately covers his mouth “No, stop. Quiet, no”

 Everyone else erupts in laughter. I roll my eyes then I get up and grab my backpack “If you’ll excuse me I need to change.” Wooyoung smiles “Sure.” Someone in the distance then says “You pissed her off, she was so nice the last time we saw her..”

 I walk out of the crew quarters and It just so happened that Seonghwa was walking in that direction and I’m stopped in the middle of the hallway leading to the stairs to go back upstairs.

 “Hey, I was just about to go wake you and introduce you to your other crew members.” I stay silent for a few seconds then I respond in a low voice “No thanks.”

 Seonghwa grabs my arm “Wait, why not? What happened?” I shake my head and pull my arm away from his grasp “I’m going to change..”

 I walk upstairs towards the deck to look around and head towards the room the Captain walked into last night. Surely he must be in there right?

I knock on the door and carefully enter the candle lit room “Captain?” 

 He glances over at me and removes his glasses “y/n? Good morning, I didn’t think you’d come here so early. I heard you stayed up pretty late.”

 “I did, but I’m a light sleeper so I woke up pretty easily.” I sit on the leather chair in front of his desk softly squeaking from my weight.

“That reminds me, can I tell you something? I don’t want to be worrisome on my first day here but this just kind of bothers me.” Hongjoong nods giving me a concerned look “Did something happen?”

“Yeah kind of. Your crewmates are assholes, they threw a pillow at me thinking I was Seonghwa, is that really how they treat your first mate?”

 Hongjoong lets out a small laugh “Well, yes but the respect is there don’t worry that’s just how they get along. As for the way you were woken up..” he trails off and lets out a sigh “I’m sorry about that, if you want you have my permission to scold them if they get on your nerves as they tend to have their moments of not being the most pleasant to be around.” 

What? No way he’s letting me scold them?! Is that how much he trusts me? I mean it’s a given the man trusts me with his life, why wouldn’t he when it comes to just standing up for myself and straightening out a couple of grown brats…

”Oh, um. Thank you for that.” Hongjoong’s eyebrow slightly raises “Anything else?” I awkwardly stipple my fingers for a few moments “Um, do you have food? I’m kind of starving” 

Hongjoong smiles “Yeah, second floor below deck. Breakfast should be going on right now. I’ll walk you there.” I look over at his desk and notice he’s writing something immediately feeling guilty for making him stand “oh, uh. No captain, it’s okay. I should learn my way around the ship by myself.” 

Hongjoong hums and I continue “Besides, you’re busy doing Captain things..I really don’t want to bother you.” Hongjoong puts his black polished index finger on his lips and hushes me “I promise you’re not bothering me darling, I’m more than happy to show you around. I’ve got plenty of time.”

I stand up and smile “It’s okay Captain, I think it’s best for me to learn things on my own. You are the Captain after all, I’m sure you’re quite busy erm…Being a Captain.” 

Hongjoong smirks then looks at me fondly “Alright, but in case you need someone to guide you Seonghwa and I are here. Don’t forget that.” I quietly nod then he continues “Once you’re done with breakfast go ahead and head over to the crow’s nest and keep watch. I’ll put you in charge of that. If you spot anything let Seonghwa know immediately. ”

 Hongjoong reaches into the side drawer of his desk and hands me a golden spyglass “Thank you Captain, I will.”

  I glance down at it then back up at him where he then motions for me to leave “Alright, go. If you need anything Seonghwa will be there to assist.” 

I bow, slightly intimidated by him not because he's scary but more or so because of how well he carries himself. 

When I exit the captain’s quarters I carefully examine the spyglass. Must be brass or something judging from the nice weight to it. 

Regardless it was so beautiful It had an engraving on it, the same one as the one on Hongjoong’s arm band. I guess this means it’s his, that’s cool. He trusts me even with his personal items.

 While I walk across the deck my stomach growls then I sigh. If I remember correctly Hongjoong said the kitchen was on the second floor? 

I head downstairs and as soon as I enter the mess hall it becomes dead silent. I knew it, I knew it was going to be this awkward. At least Hongjoong isn’t here it would have been much more embarrassing. 

San pats the seat next to his and gives me dimpled smile “y/n, sit here. I saved this seat for you.” 

This man is making me want to smack him. Pretending to be nice. Why is he so flirty? I can only imagine how cringe he was with the girls back in Eledonia. They probably ate that shit up too. Ugh.

 I sit on the seat next to San on the other side to my right was Wooyoung who immediately stands up. To my recollection he's the cook, he was the one wearing an apron while cooking back in Eledonia and the one who gave me the delicious peach tart.

 Seonghwa then brings everyone’s attention over to me“Evreyone, you weren’t properly introduced but this is the Captain’s protector Her name is y/n.” 

The tall one with blue hair and glasses which was Mingi if I remember correctly says “Ah yes, the cute doll back in Eledonia.” Wow, he must have a thing with dolls but honestly I'm not mad at it. 

“You’re cute, I know why Hongjoong chose you now. I think Hongjoong likes cute girls. Cute..” Everyone silently stares at him then Yunho looks over at Mingi in disgust. “Maybe you should stay quiet you’ve used the word cute one too many times for my liking.”

 Yunho looks over at me and gives me a concerned look “He’s weird please don’t listen to him. Anyway, hello y/n It’s nice to see you've decided to join us.” I slightly raise my hand from the table to acknowledge his greeting and take a bite of a piece of bread from a basket. 

From the corner of my eye I notice the guy with Jongho back in Eledonia, Yeosang if i'm not wrong. Looking at him closer now I notice he's got very gorgeous features, one of them being a cool looking birth mark on his left eye (which I didn't notice) , his face being almost too perfect to be real with soft brown hair that compliments him very well giving him a very princely and delicate appearance. 

He stares at me without saying anything which is intimidating noting how gorgeous the man is. The stare wasn’t out of hate, it was more or so out of curiosity until he finally speaks “Who trained you?” 

Slightly taken aback I almost choke on my bread but manage to play it off. He speaks Eledonian, like Hongjoong only much more fluent. “My grandfather, an Eledonian veteran. Why?”

 He gives me a small smile and shakes his head “I was just asking, I’m Yeosang. My apologies for not introducing myself when we first met.” I shake my head “It’s okay, no worries. I appreciate you introducing yourself..” 

San furrows his eyebrows “Hey Yeo, you speak Eledonian? I didn’t know that.” Yeosang glances at San while resting both elbows on the table and his hands laced together “Who do you think taught Hongjoong?” 

Shortly after being gone Wooyoung comes back with a bowl and a cup of tea and gently sets it in front of me. “I hope you like it, it may be a little spicy depending on your spice tolerance but it should still be good.. ” 

I silently nod and take a sip of my tea then Seonghwa says “So y/n, how’d you sleep? You didn’t get seasick?” I pick up my eating utensil and mix my food.

“Well, besides being woken up in the rudest most uncalled for way ever. It was actually pretty comfortable, more than my old bed so I fell asleep almost instantly.” The whole table stays quiet with exception of a few of them clearing their throats and awkwardly adjusting themselves in their seats.

 Seonghwa looks over at the rest of the guys and forces a smile when he looks back at me “Well at least you slept well up until that point.” I shove a spoonful of food in my mouth and nod, San remorsefully speaks “So um, about this morning. Sorry we thought you were Seonghwa and we kind of ambushed you without your permisson.”

 I shrug taking another sip of my drink “What’s done is done, it’s fine.” Jongho, the very well built dark haired male with a very friendly face says in an apologetic tone “We should have honestly checked before we pulled something like that. I’m sure that’s the reason you’re being so cold towards all of us which we understand.” 

Woah this guy hit the nail on the head with that one. “You’re right, you guys were assholes but now with the Captain’s full permission if you ever cross the line with me again I have his personal blessing to kick your asses.”

Mingi says under his breath “Ah, that’s so hot..” San looks over at Mingi like he just insulted him and flatly says “No..” 

Seonghwa glares at both males, something told that pissing him off wasn’t a good idea. As it is he’s already intimidating. “How about you both calm down and behave. You both act like you didn’t just meet up with women back in Eledonia” 

Wooyoung giggles looking in San’s direction playfully nudging my arm so that I could watch the whole ordeal go on. “Seonghwa’s right, weren’t you two the ones who were flirting away and getting back rubs from Eledonian women later in the evening?”

 San crosses his arms in front of his chest “They were just back rubs!” Everyone looks in his direction then Wooyoung fires back “You and I both know you’re lying about that, that's not the only thing that was getting rubbed”

 I roll my eyes at how utterly embarrassing this whole conversation was getting and continue to eat my food completely tuning out the conversation happening. Everyone explodes in laughter while San sits there festering in annoyance and Mingi awkwardly laughs it off with the others.

 Once they settle down a bit Jongho says “That’s true one of them didn’t come back until midday the next day so that says alot about what actually happened.” I eat the last of my food and drink the remaining tea from my cup and I get up not caring we were all in mid conversation.

“I’m done eating. Wooyoung, the food was delicious.” I give Wooyoung a smile and in return he blinks “Oh, you ate fast.. Do you want seconds?” I shake my head and get up “No thank you, I’m full.” 

San turns to me and looks at me a bit sad “You’re leaving already?” I nod dusting my lap off from the leftover bread crumbs “Yep, see you around.” 

Before anyone has a chance of saying anything else I excuse myself from the clearly very private conversation going on in the background. I guess I'm going to have to get used to conversations like this, men are so… Weird.

After that chaotic breakfast I find my way back to the crow’s nest, it was a nice change of environment. I wonder if this is the only thing I’ll be doing while we’re at sea, then again there is no one I need to protect Hongjoong from anyway so I guess it makes sense I’m in charge of keeping an eye. 

After a few uneventful days of me keeping watch, which were either cargo ships or just other ships in general who weren’t of intrest. I basically lived up at the crow’s nest and only really came down to shower or use the bathroom since Wooyoung would usually bring up my food while on duty. 

Today was a different story, on the horizon I could make out a ship in the distance then I look into the spyglass and notice a ship with a peculiar flag. Unlike our flag, theirs was red with a skull on it except this skull had two spears crossing behind it then my stomach sinks. 

I quickly climb down then I run over to Seonghwa who was talking to Mingi and in between breaths I say “I don’t know who they are but we have company from the north east.”

Seonghwa quickly puts down the book in his hand and runs outside onto the deck then pulls out his spyglass, and stares at the ship for what felt like forever “The Scarlet Sailors… The Captain needs to see this.” He turns to me “Prepare for battle these pirates are quite tough, ring the bell.” 

It’s like a switch instantly lit up I run over to the bell and ring it as loud as I can while Seonghwa runs into the captain’s quarters to alert the Captain. My first looting with the crew and I’m not going to lie but I’m scared. What if I die not even three seconds after stepping foot on that boat.

 Meanwhile the whole ship goes hectic to prepare everything and a few minutes later Hongjoong steps out and looks through Seonghwa’s spyglass with a big smile on his features “Evreyone, looks like we hit the jackpot. We will strip them from everything.” 

He hands Seonghwa his spyglass back then looks over at me and gives me a bright smile “Use this time to practice, don’t worry if you kill them. The government doesn’t care, so neither should we. Also, unless I call for you do your thing I’m not useless.” I hum and touch the gun on my holster then I smile. Here’s my chance to show off.

 As the ship gets closer Jongho aims the canon at the ship and shoots directly hitting the ship in the front of the ship he then signals San and Yeosang to do the same permanently disabling the ship due to Jongho’s successfully being able to break the main mast of the ship. 

Right as Yunho and Mingi begin to set up the plank a few people of the enemy begins to shoot at us causing us to hide. 

Seonghwa gently squeezes my shoulder “Good luck, and please protect our Captain.” I turn and give him a smile for the first time in a while “No problem.” once the plank is clear I notice the captain of the ship immediately heads over towards Hongjoong.

 He’s not useless he can fight, I just need to clear these people out then I can help him. I shoot my gun at any of the crew mates running towards me until I have no ammo left after that I pick up a sword from one of the bodies on the ground then I climb up one of the shrouds of the ship. 

Before jumping I take a deep breath and jump down onto a crew mate who was about to shoot Yeosang in the back so I proceed to stab him in the back of the neck with the blade exiting through the other side of the man’s throat.

 When I pull it out of the man’s neck the sound alone of the man choking on his own blood causes Yeosang to turn and notices the man on the floor then he looks back at me and smirks.

I pick up the man’s gun and shoot the man behind Yeosang and I smile. I notice a scary looking man about to gang up on Wooyoung who was already busy with a sword fight so I give Yeosang a two finger salute and while running to Woooyung’s aid I shoot the man on the side of the head causing him to fall to the ground limply.

 While I look around to see if I could assist anyone I feel a hand pull me back by the hair and begins to crush my throat with the other then I put the barrel of the gun under the bearded man’s chin and I pull the trigger causing him to fall back. In the midst of me running away I see another huge scary bald man with a cigar in his mouth begin to walk towards me with evrey intention to kill.

 “You can’t go around killing people like this little lady, you’ve been a bad girl.” I smirk then I pull the trigger of the gun only for it to be empty then I let out a frustrated groan so I grab the sword again then he lets out a laugh. 

"You wanna fight with swords? Alright, I'll do you a favor before I kill you then although I can't guarantee I won't fuck you up pretty girl." He grabs a sword from the nearest body And does a few practice swings. 

I run towards the man and swing to aim at his midsection but he successfully blocks my sword and knocks it out of my hand. The man lets out a laugh and grabs me by the wrist and pulls me towards him then he rests his blade on my neck, pressing just enough for me to acknowledge the blade on my throat drawing some blood.

 The smoke from his cigar hitting me in the face while I lay completely still “What a shame I have to kill you I really wanted to fuck that pretty little face of yours-”

 Feeling complete disgust by the vulgarities this man was saying I pull out a dagger hiding under my belt and stab the man once in the midsection then another right in the eye causing him to drop his cigar to the floor and scream in agonizing pain.

 “You fucking bitch! I’ll kill you!” I pick up the sword I dropped and motion the angry man to attack "Come and get me you ugly troll.." 

The man leans in and swings his sword in my direction grazing my arm only managing to rip the fabric of my sleeve. I parry the angry man and unfortunately for the man his anger combined with only having one eye grants me an opening to lunge and slash followed by a stab right on his stomach causing him to fall on his knees and drop the sword on the ground.

 I pick up the cigar he dropped from the floor and push the end of the lit cigar into the wound in his eye.

The man screams in pain and clutches onto his face squirming on the floor until I pick up the shot gun off of a body and shoot the man dead. It's over, finally. 

I slowly close my eyes and let out a soft sigh, when I open my eyes I look at the state of the situation and see the captain of the Scarlet Sailors had been defeated or more so shot in the face. 

The rest of his crew only a handful were left alive and were are all tied up while San kept watch the rest of the guys were quickly hauling alot of supplies and money onto the ship.

 A few minutes go by of me being confused and not really knowing what to do si I decide to help San keep watch on the rival crew mates. From a distance I hear a whistling noise only to realize it was Hongjoong, who was looking in my direction and motions me back onto the ship.

 Both San and I walk back to the ship, leaving the rival crew on the boat. It still hadn’t dawned on me how brutal this whole situation is in reality. How my first encounter with true violence would be the one to light a fire in me that won’t be put out which will put a crack on my moral compass.

Once we get on the ship I begin walking towards the bathroom before Yeosang stops me “Hey, are you okay? That slice on your neck is bleeding.” I gingerly touch my neck then look down at my hand to see it coated with blood.

 Of course internally i’m panicking but I can’t let anyone know that the captain’s protector is a wimp, so I hum quietly while looking down at the blood. “The bleeding will stop, I’ll be fine.”

 Yeosang shakes his head “You have to go get that cleaned or else it’ll get infected.” I smile and wipe the blood with my finger on my inner wrist.“I’m going to shower so no worries the wound will get cleaned, thanks for your concern though.”

I give Yeosang a soft smile and before I even see his reactiom I walk over to the bathroom and close the door behind me and I begin to undress.

While I’m undressing I notice my hands are shaky, it must be the adrenaline still coursing through my veins. Growing slightly irritated because of how flimsily it made my hands feel I clench both my hands together and sigh. 

Slowly a small smile forces itself onto my features “I did a great job today, for my first day. I can’t be entirely disappointed.” I stand in the warm water staring at the ground with the slight sting on my neck from my wound. 

Suddenly I get flashes of all the people I’ve killed today and I will admit I do feel remorse for what i did as I’m only human but what Hongjoong told me keeps repeating itself in my head “The government doesn’t care, and neither should we.”

 Which means technically they aren’t the government since pirates are anti government but they did begin to head straight towards us and willing to attack us so we were in full right to attack them back.

This wasn’t wrong was it? Am I just overthinking everything right now because of the amount of people I just killed? I don’t know honestly, all I know is my body is reacting to it.

I start to feel slightly dizzy and a bit light headed so I sit under the water to rest a little bit. How can I be so weak I’m reacting like this, what happened to my grandfather’s training? No wait, his training didn’t include how to cope with killing people. 

After a long maybe 5 or 10 minutes of me feeling weird I eventually finish showering and tightly wrap the bathrobe around my figure and step back out onto the deck. It’s as if Yunho was waiting for me outside of the bathroom he hurriedly walks towards me “Yeosang told me about your wound.” 

I brush out my hair with my fingers “Oh, I’m fine.” He rolls his eyes and puts both his hands on my shoulders and turns me in the direction of the crew’s quarters “Yeah, I’m not taking any risks then you die on us and the Captain will get mad at me for not doing my job which is attend all the injuries our crew gets.” 

I sigh slightly rolling my eyes but not enough where Yunho notices “Yeah, okay then.” When we go down to the quarters he sits me down on the first bed entering the place.

 “Sit, I’ll be right back.” He walks over to a small cabinet in the room and pulls up a chair next to me. He gives me an awkward smile and points at my robe.

"Can you um, pull it down a little bit?” I nod and grab the soft fabric of the bathrobe and gently pull it down exposing my neck but still covering my chest. 

He clears his throat and silently begins to clean my wound up until he probably get tired of how painfully awkward it was so he breaks the ice and says “So, I saw you fighting and you’re pretty good. I now understand why the Captain was so hellbent on you joining us.”

 I awkwardly smile at Yunho “Yeah.” He chuckles and awkwardly smiles back  “You looked like a cat on top of those shrouds, weren’t you scared?” 

Stiffly I nod trying not to disturb what Yunho was doing “A little but when you’re set to kill you just kind of forget evreything around you and you just focus on your task.” Yunho hums “I see, just remember to be careful. You’re meant to protect the Captain and if you get hurt you’re neglecting your purpose.” 

Well that’s a bit.. Outright. What a strange way to tell me to be careful. “Okay, i’ll be careful. I'll try my best not to worry the Captain.” 

After a few more minutes of awkward small talk and him cleaning my wound he finally finishes and dresses my wound then puts away his first aid kit. I pull my bathrobe back up and I head over towards the door.

 I really wanted to say thank you but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to say anything until I finally manage to say in a very low almost indistinguishable mumble “Thank you.” Yunho turns back to me and says “Did you say something?”

 Great, he didn’t hear me. I look so dumb right now. Immediately I shake my head and walk out without another word. I stand by the railing looking out onto the sea, unfortunately It hasn’t even been a month yet and I’m already kind of sick of seeing nothing but water.

 I might as well learn to get along with everyone even if that means I have to fake my personality. They can all be afraid of me but if I keep this up and keep being so quiet and unaproachable I’ll not only get bored but I’ll be miserable. I also can’t latch onto Seonghwa and the Captain the whole time I’m here I need to make friends even if these guys are a bit…Weird.

 I hear steps approaching me from behind and a familiar voice emerges behind me “I’ve brought you some clean clothes. I don’t know if they’re your style but Hongjoong chose them. I’m sorry we didn’t give these to you earlier and you had to go into battle with your personal attire. I am sorry your old ones got ruined.” 

I turn and it was Seonghwa, skin with a slight sheen of sweat on his exposed skin which was just his neck and face with a small cut under his eye and a busted lip. “Ah, It’s fine. I’ll keep those clothes as a memento of my first battle with The Piece of Eight.” I shake my head and see his slightly worried expression shift to a small smile.

“Good job out there by the way. Yeosang told me you saved him twice and you helped out Wooyoung. I also heard you took out the juggernaut first mate of the Scarlet Sailors.” I nervously laugh “Thank you, I was only fulfilling my duty.” 

He hands me my clothes and smiles “This might have been your first battle but it certainly won’t be your last.” I look down at the clothes and I couldn’t tell first glance if I was going to like them. It wasn’t until I actually tried them on I saw and could definitely tell Hongjoong chose them. 

Very high fashion, it’s a very nice blend of their style just a bit more feminine. I like it. It was a black blazer with a beautiful pin on it the shape of an hourglass with silver detailing and a top that was a black fitted vest and some black pants , boots and.. A wide brim fedora. 

Kind of an odd choice, I thought pirates wore those weird looking hats? Not Hongjoong though, I can tell this man goes against what everyone expects of him. He forges his own path even with the smallest of things as simple as clothing. Something tells me I'm working for right man, the right cause.

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[destinygoldenstar]

🍀Justice For Lake!🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 6 “Broke & Back Mountain”

BOW DOWN TO YOUR SAVIOR.

HE SLAYED RIGHTFULLY.

Anyway, we're back. I know it's been awhile. I've been busy doing other things.

But don't worry. We're back now. We're cool. I didn't die.

At least I can watch this show more peacefully, so I'm not bombarded with bigotry every minute! I can hear my conscience again!

Because yeah, last episode's elimination, subverted my expectations in a way that pleased me.

I'm very interested in what's gonna happen next, considering Yul is out now. I mean, slayed or not, James is still an antagonistic character, so I'm ASSUMING he's taking the mantle as villain.

That and we have Krystal as a villain already.

So let's get into this episode:

Oh, no recap this time? We're just gonna...

Aw, I wanted to watch Yul die again :(

Awwwwww, Aiden and his bear, that's so cute ❤️

Why you sleeping with earrings?

Uuuuuuhhhh... why are you two sleeping together? What is going on here?

I guess you guys figured things out.

...

AND NOW I'M EVEN MORE CONFUSED AS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

ARE THEY IN A POLYCULE? IS THAT WHAT IT IS?

😂

Riya has my exact reaction XD

"What in Bollywood's name did I witness last night?!"

"I told them not to bring it up until the game was over."

Wait, so why were y'all in the same bed?

That's not a 'friends' thing to do.

So Hunter still hasn't come out yet.

"Fortunately, Yul had to leave the game due to a medical emergency."

Yeah, FORTUNATELY XD

I love that nobody misses him at all.

"Eh, you know, we don't know if he made it or not, but he was kind of a douche, so I should be worried, but I'm just not, you know...?"

"Well, I hope he doesn't get well soon."

XD

YEAH SEE?! XD

DON'T WE ALL?

Idk how many Yul stans there are. All the Yul stans probably blocked me.

"I never liked Yul. His personality and way of expressing himself were horrible."

Why didn't you vote him out then? When you had the chance.

You could've allied with Kai or Connor, and not much about your gameplay changes.

"But all the hate he caused kept me and the girls safe. It was good strategy."

THAT'S your justification?

You and your girls weren't in ANY danger. And Kai would be easy to persuade for a fourth vote. You have majority.

OH. MERGE ALREADY?!

We're only at Episode 6. GODDAMN.

Total Drama 2024 was out for BLOOD trying to beat this.

"PreMerge speedrun! How quickly can we merge our characters?"

"As you may have noticed, we are in the middle of nowhere."

XD

"WELCOME TO THE VOID!!!"

"Excuse me?!"

What's wrong with supplies?

"HOW DARE YOU ENSURE THE PEOPLE'S SAFETY!!"

"Aiden and James are going together."

Oh goddammit. AGAIN?!

I mean yeah James didn't kill Aiden, but THAT'S THE BAR.

I would've loved to see Aiden and Lake pair up tbh.

As friends, obviously.

"Is there a problem with the signal here?"

I'm glad I have subtitles on so I know he said signal.

I heard 'SIGH-NAL'

'SINAL'

Idk, I'm not gonna question it in case this is an accent thing.

"You are in the middle of forest. There is no Internet here."

I thought that'd be obvious. XD

Oh he's gonna LOSE IT

"What?! What year are we in?!"

The year of HELL.

Except I'm in the future. So...

Still hell.

"You seem to know a lot about survival."

"No big deal, I just read it in a book."

Sounds like everyone.

"Sources?"

"Uh... I read a book once. Ten years ago. So yeah, I'm an expert. I know everything there is to know about surviving-OH, HEALTHY BERRIES-*GAGS*"

"Nope. Not another one. Please no."

XD

"NO! NO MORE GIRLS! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT LOVE, PLEASE!!!"

"Can you believe it?! What kind of low budget show leaves its participants without Internet access?!"

BUDDY. IT'S THE WOODS.

I'm surprised you even HAVE wifi at camp.

James is just gonna be complaining the whole time.

"We're in the middle of the woods, James. What did you expect?"

Yeah, exactly. Even the other characters are calling this out.

"Look, the faster we get to camp, the faster you can get back online."

Aiden's like, "So PLEASE, shut your mouth and stop staring at me with predatory eyes. Then maybe I'll get you your precious wifi back. If I don't smash the phone first-"

"I had some differences with James, but what he did for me in the previous ceremony makes me believe that, deep down inside, he's not that bad."

"I mean, HE KILLED YUL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. How can I NOT respect the hell out of him?!"

"Now that the teams are dissolved, I guess you'll go back to your alliance with Lake and I'll be alone again."

Awww, Riya, honey, no...

"If I make an alliance with Lake, you will be also part of it."

ABSOLUTELY.

BEST GIRLS ALLIANCE? HELLO?

Alliance of all the best girls?

"We can dominate the game together and you can beat the shit out of us in the semi-final."

Oh so you WANT to lose to Riya?

Heyo, don't tempt her to slay, Rosa. SHE'LL DO IT.

"Huh, now that you're encouraging me to slay, I think maybe I should slay, you know? Helps with my broke-ass career. People LOVE IT when people SLAY."

Awwwwww

Why is Rosa so good with everyone?

"Maybe I should go higher."

"Don't do it. You could fall and hurt yourself."

LOOK AT YOU SITTING ON THAT THIN-ASS TREE BRANCH. YOU'RE ONE TO TALK.

"Do you care about me?"

Oh... oh that's deep actually... shit...

"Well sure. You are my friend."

"Even though you threaten my senpai's attention away from me."

"Who's your senpai?"

"Good question..."

*Bi Crisis*

"I thought you were just pretending to be nice to me."

Oof. OOF. Girl, I'VE BEEN THERE.

"What? Of course not! I really like you!"

"Don't take that in wrong context! Please, no! I'm not bi! I'm just making a point!"😳

"I admit, at first I pretended to be Tess's friend a bit so Hunter wouldn't feel bad."

Oh, so...

This and the children rage thing. I question your morality a bit Allyson.

Poor Tess.

"This is the last time you take part in a challenge!"

What are you mad at him for?! Ensuring your camper's safety?

...actually that checks out.

"People want to see people suffer and fight for their lives, to see them get hurt and go through the worst of embarrassments! This is what the show is about!"

You sound like a Chris McLean child.

You sound like Chris McLean right now XD

God that's a good line though.

Has someone working at OddNations seen my Total Drama posts where I discussed this exact topic, and said "We should make THAT a major theming of our show!"

"That's why this show went so many years without being broadcast!"

HUH?

HANG ON. BIG QUESTION MARK.

What is the time gap between Season 1 and 2? Exactly?

I THOUGHT it was just one year, but apparently not. It's been several years?

I mean I know the past hosts were criminals, but the show was still aired, right? Or was it not??

I'm confused now.

"I'm saying Lake was right. You ARE worse than Mr McLean!"

*CHOKES*

WAIT WHOA WHAT THE FUCK-?!

I SAID THAT AS A JOKE.

I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST SOME EXECUTIVE'S CHILD-

SHE'S ACTUALLY CHRIS MCLEAN'S DAUGHTER?!

SINCE WHEN DID THAT MAN GET A KID?!

Oh wait cause her name is CHRIS-tal-

I'm an idiot.

I am a fucking idiot.

I bet y'all are laughing so hard at my mental breakdown right now cause you figured this out on day one.

I AM A FUCKING DUMBASS...

Alright I'm calming down. I'm calming down.

So uh... SO MUCH MAKES SENSE NOW.

So... let me get this straight, if I am TRYING to understand the lore here:

Total Drama is CANON to this universe. That's what they're implying. Unless this is an AU.

I THINK when Oliver said "This Show" he meant that SURVIVOR, the show Total Drama is based on, doesn't exist in THEIR universe, and Total Drama IS the equivalent of Survivor in THEIR universe.

Total Drama took place in the years they were airing in real life. So TDI took place in 2007 for example. And the last season, before the reboot anyway, was Pahketiew Island. AKA, the worst TD Season EVER. That aired in...

*looks it up*

2014.

So if this same logic applies here, then this show takes place in...

2022.

So it's an EIGHT YEAR TIME GAP.

So after Total Drama got cancelled for Chris McLean's island scheme, before the show was revived in 2023, Disventure Camp Season 1 would take place in 2021.

And the original Disventure Camp, the season ran by Derek and Trevor, was aired as a shady site due to their crimes. Which is why they got people messed up in the head and/or desperate for money, to do the show. THEN when they got caught, a year later, the rights of the show went to Krystal, someone of much higher power and Chris McLean's daughter, and she kept the show alive and aired this season.

So it's basically:

TDI-TDA - 2007

TDWT - 2008

TDROTI - 2012

TDAS - TDPI - 2014

DC1 - 2021

DC2 - 2022

TD2023 - 2023

TD2024 - 2024

And if we're sticking with the year gaps, then DC3 is in 2023 in their time.

Idk, I feel like this could be wrong. I'm trying to understand the lore here.

I know, THERE'S ACTUAL LORE IN TOTAL DRAMA NOW.

"I'd rather sleep on the street than keep working on this damn show!"

DAMN.

That's every Gen Z employee now.

Y'all have no idea of the mistreatment we suffer...

Like, old folks, we will be overworking our asses off just to get impossible standards to even get HIRED in the first place. No matter the degree. No matter the experience.

And we will STILL not be able to afford rent.

And WE'RE the problem?!

Ummmmm... hi?

"Lake, get in the helicopter."

What? NO. WHY?

"You're out of the game."

WHAT?!

WHAT WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

HANG ON!!!!

Is this because she read you for filth?!

Are you eliminating Lake out of SPITE?

NO. I WON'T ACCEPT THIS. NO SHOT SHE ACTUALLY GETS ELIMINATED HERE.

SHE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN A CHANCE TO PLEAD HER CASE OR GET VOTED OFF!

"Your father called. He wants you to come home immediately."

Oh so that's why?!

Lake, you don't have to go sweetie! STAND YOUR GROUND AND SAY NO.

"NO, Krystal. I am NOT going anywhere!"

"Unless I get voted off. THEN I'll leave. But not because of my shit father!"

"I could, but your father offered me a generous payment for him to skip certain deals."

Uh, yeah, no.

Lake, you don't have to do this.

"Also, if I remember correctly, you said some nasty things about me in the last challenge."

YEAH I FIGURED THAT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

LAKE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO.

"I AM NOT GOING. I HAVE TO GET VOTED OFF FIRST."

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOO

NOO COME ON

HUNTER!!! YOU'RE WATCHING THIS. DO SOMETHING!!

YOU CAN'T JUST DO LAKE LIKE THAT!

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HER DEVELOPMENT IF IT WAS GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHING AND SHE WAS JUST GONNA GO BACK?

WHAT WAS THE POINT?!

"I don't agree with Lake's situation but I admit I feel a little relieved now that I'm on my own."

WOW. YOU SUCK HUNTER.

BRING LAKE BACK! I WANT LAKE BACK RIGHT NOW!! GIVE HER A PROPER ELIMINATION! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!

I'm so mad...

"Do you have any idea how much content you could be uploading to TikTok right now?"

And Tumblr.

*UNRELATED IMAGE*

"Don't tell me, thunder scares you."

Awwww.

It's actually worse cause they're in a tent.

"And to think I could upload how cute you are when you're terrified! Look at my BABY everyone! Hashtag LOVE!!"

UMMM... SIR. NO.

HE DID NOT SAY THIS WAS OKAY.

THERE IS NO CONSENT HERE.

HOW HARD IS IT TO ASK: "Hey, do you want me to cuddle you? It might help your fears."

"I can't replace your teddy bear. But I can try it."

...I mean it's a sweet gesture at least...

Half the time I can't tell if Aiden is blushing out of crush or DISCOMFORT.

James, I appreciate the effort, but you're still a creep.

Oh god it's HELL...

How is there a fire in the rain?

"It's the boys! Great! Now that I'm an intern, we can be friends again!"

What boys?

Trevor and Derek? They escaped?

WHAAAAAAATTTT IN HELL'S NAME...

WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE? HELLO?!?

"Kai and I have been living in the forest."

You're completely okay with this? WHY?

"A dance to bring rain!"

WAIT YOU'RE GODS?!

These two have been trying to become the GODS and take over the universe. Holy shit...

Why is Kai jacked? I just noticed that...

Why am I asking this when I have A MILLION other questions.

"Look for the wise man who drinks from the turtle's neck."

WHAT?

"I'm going to find some wood to make a fire."

Girl, IT'S RAINING. It won't work.

...what's wrong with Tess? You're fine.

"I need... I want all this to go away..."

OH...

Wait what she's going through? Is she panicking?

"I do not want to be here."

Does she have some trauma with the cave space?

"No! You do not understand anything! Nobody understands why I came to this place!"

Oh...

Okay, explain then. I want answers.

Honey's going through it right now.

"I told you not to worry, I don't need you."

Tess, come on...

NO DON'T CUT AWAY.

I WANT TO UNDERSTAND TESS BETTER.

WHAT WAS TRIGGERING HER THERE? I DON'T GET IT.

YOU CAN'T JUST CUT AWAY BEFORE I, THE AUDIENCE, UNDERSTAND SOMETHING!

OH LAKE'S STILL HERE. YES!

"Is there a reason father wants me to come back?"

I WONDER WHY.

"It's because of the kisses, right?"

"I haven't exactly come out of the closet, you know?"

"Because of that and because you burned your books, didn't turn in your essays, they found out you hid photos of them and now everyone knows you're bald for being stressed."

Oh. We FINALLY get an answer for that.

I heard that was a real thing that could happen. When people lose their hair out of intense stress. And... yeah.

That says a lot about Lake's character and what she goes through.

Also Krystal FORCED her to do all these things, so why isn't her dad taking it out on Krystal?

"I'm done. I'm sure he'll send me straight to boarding school and I'll have to spend my youth surrounded by cranky nuns."

You're just giving up? GIRL.

"Your parents seem tough, huh?"

"They're the worst."

Yeah. Took you awhile to realize that.

"Since I was born, they have controlled every aspect of my life. From the clothes I should wear, to the tone my skin should have..."

DAMN.

"Well, at least your parents were with you."

Oh, is Chris...

Why am I asking? OF COURSE. OF COURSE CHRIS WAS A SHIT NEGLECTFUL FATHER. I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED AT ALL.

"When I was a child, I could only see my dad on television."

"And he was torturing teenagers. Now you know where I get it from?"

"What abut your mother?"

"I don't know. Dad never talks about her."

I'm confused on if it was a fling situation or if Chris is married... idk, I don't remember if Chris mentioned having a wife or not.

This could just be a fling he had and whoops, the woman got pregnant.

OH THIS LOOKS LIKE A NIGHTMARE.

I'M SO SORRY GIRLS YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT.

OH NO HUNTER.

WHAT HAPPENED MAN?

"GOLDEN SAID I SUCKED..."

I'M SORRY!! I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SUFFER FOR IT.

"James and Aiden found a bike that Oliver hid, Rosa and Riya put together a raft and are about to arrive as well."

Oh cool. Glad we saw that on screen. /s

"Third place? But Lake is here."

"Where's Hunter?"

"Oh, he died."

"Is that true, Lake? Are you going home?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

I hate this so much.

This sucks.

This is a SHIT elimination for Lake.

"But there was a change of plans. She stays here and she'll just leave this camp, voted out or with a million bucks."

OH WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

HAVE MY PRAYERS BEEN ANSWERED?!

Also the dad sounds like he's been kidnapped and gagged.

LAKE STAYS!!!!🎉

I wish Lake was the one who stood up to him. But SHE STAYS!!!

"That's right, father, mother, I'm not going anywhere. I will eat as many calories as I want, I will not marry anyone for your selfish interests, and I will not go to that boarding school! Whether I win the million or not, I will never let them control my life again!"

OKAY I'LL TAKE IT!!! I WILL TAKE THAT!!!

👏👏

GET EM QUEEN!!!!

Okay, NOW I get why y'all like her so much.

"There will be no eliminations today!"

Oh cool!

"Don't you want to catch up with your followers?"

"Nah. I'll do it later."

James development too? Hello?

AWWW LOOK AT THEM. THIS IS SO SWEET.

They didn't invite Tess, Allyson, and Hunter?

Oh there they are.

"Hey Ally, what I told you... what I said about pretending to be my friend, well I..."

"Tess. It's okay."

NO STOP INERRUPTING HER.

LET TESS OPEN UP GODDAMMIT.

I WANT A TRAUMA DUMP.

Allyson has a tattoo?

That actually looks kinda sick.

"Will Tess open up her heart to Ally?"

I feel like they can hear me teasing them.

Thing is I can't tell if they have better chemistry with each other than they do with Hunter, cause they'd had good Hunter interactions too...

But I think Hunter is aromantic, so...

And that was Episode 6.

No eliminations today. But I'm fine with it.

This was a pretty good character episode.

It's almost like now that a certain someone is out of the picture, I FEEL LIKE I CAN BREATHE. I CAN ENJOY THINGS AGAIN. I CAN BE INVESTED IN CHARACTER BITS MORE.

Instead of bitching about this one guy.

JUSTICE FOR LAKE.

Like, NOW I see why y'all like her.

I liked her at the start too, but not to the point where I was like "LOVE YA GIRLIEPOP, MUST PROTECT."

And now I am "LOVE YA GIRLIEPOP, MUST PROTECT."

I am SO GLAD that was a fakeout elimination. Because if that was real, I WOULD'VE BEEN PISSED. Because that would've butchered all her character development, made it all pointless, and plus that's just such a cheap and rigged way to eliminate a character.

That's why Leshawna's TDI Elimination is THE worst elimination of all of these shows. AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS.

THANK GOD THAT WASN'T REPLICATED HERE.

Do I think she's winning? Eh...? Idk. I don't know if a million dollars really suits her character and what they're doing with her, ya know?

If you're asking me who I think is winning: Rosa or Aiden.

Aiden has just been "The Innocent Boy" The entire time, and his association with the SNAKE of the cast is building up to something for sure.

I LOVE that James killed Yul. But in terms of being around Aiden, I'm not won over YET.

I still can't ignore the uh... CONSENTUAL ISSUES between them.

Like, come on, how hard is it to ASK before you snuggle up to someone? Especially if they're NOT your significant other.

And I just love Rosa. And I honestly see no scenario where she could be eliminated.

She's a lot like Owen and Wayne in that sense. Where her whole strategy is just being the nicest person around, and thus nobody wants to vote her off or hurt her.

Plus she actually DOES have some strategic moments with her girls alliance, and she knows morals and stands for them. So, yeah, I'm routing for Rosa.

She can use the money to raise her child. It would be so sweet!

She's a Paddington. That's all I'll say. She is a Paddington and a beacon of light in such a CRUEL, MISERABLE environment where there's so much deception and hate going around. And not only does she refuse to get pushed, but she also says that sweetheart. I SALUTE HER.

I also hope we get to know more about Tess. Idk. MAYBE I was stupid and didn't understand what was going on in that scene. Mostly because they don't explain it.

Like, I get that maybe you don't want an info dump. But I, the audience, needs to understand what's going on. I'm not in the writer's head! I don't know this character! I need to be explained what's going on!

I know she's an orphan. I know she's depressed. I THINK that scene was hinting towards a trauma trigger from either caves or the dark? But I don't know??? I don't know what they were saying there.

Maybe I'm stupid. If someone can explain that scene better, PLEASE. I want to understand this.

But, uh, here's a criticism for Disventure Camp:

There's several times in these episodes where they cut away before things can be explained. And several times it cuts away before I feel like the scene is properly done. It's weird pacing, and it's also depriving the audience of information we SHOULD have.

Like, Hunter says he'll talk to them about the love triangle situation. THEN IT CUTS AWAY. And next time we see them they're in the same bed and a confessional tells us what they talked about.

Like, you don't need a confessional there. You could've just, idk, SHOWN ME the scene where he talks about this to them. Then when we start this episode and they're all in the same bed, I wouldn't be scratching my head, I would be flattered because then I'd know what the conversation was and why they were doing that.

That's just an example. There's multiple others I could use.

Even in Season 1, even if it's not AS bad there, it's still there. Like when it cut away before Jake could tell Ellie his situation. Though, I can excuse THAT, because we the audience already knew of the situation and those aspects of Jake's backstory, so we didn't need to hear it again.

But everything else, idk, I feel like I should know more than I know.

This is like... just an example, The Amazing Digital Circus, only when they're in hell, we DON'T get Pomni breaking down and crying or Kinger's speech about love and memory. After Pomni gets saved from possession, we just go straight to them figuring out how to get past the damned soul corridor.

No, there's not a lot of action of them sitting there, so it's not the most fun scene to make, but it's NECESSARY, and helps you FEEL the characters and understand in full what's going through their heads.

You NEEDED that heart to heart. You NEEDED Pomni to cry. You NEEDED Kinger to explain his dementia. Otherwise you'd just be scratching your head on what the character's context is, because it's context you don't have.

This isn't a mystery show. So I think this criticism is valid.

It's a pacing issue. It's not a criticism I give out of spite. I'm just saying a flaw I have picked up on.

And I do hope they do better with this going forward and we get some really good character moments in the future.

And before you say "Runtime". This isn't Total Drama. This is an indie show that can do whatever they want and run these episodes as long as they want. So they ABSOLUTELY can make episodes 5-10 minutes longer to accompany some backstory and character building.

I know they can't do flashbacks or anything like that in this format, but idk, you could do some visual stuff with the setting to tell the story or something.

(I'm, at this point, asking to be hired as a writer.)

Good episode.