#um.... i didnt mean to write 1.4k words talking about reload

[crest-of-gautier]

how is it that i finished reload three months ago but it feels like a lifetime ago... ("some" thoughts about reload under the cut... spoilers obv)

reload is like a mixed bag for me. there's aspects of it that i hold near and dear to my heart (ryoji mochizuki my beloved), while some parts of reload... i'm kind of... "eh... whatever" about.

i think my feelings ultimately boils down to the fact that fes and reload are two very distinct experiences. the differences between them feels most obvious to me with the gameplay changes, and added social events (dorm activities + linked episodes).

because these two games curate a different experience, i feel awkward when i'm confronted with the question of, "what version should i play?" to me, the question kind of has the undertone of, "what is the definitive version of persona 3?"

even though reload is arguably the most convenient and accessible version of p3, i feel that when i recommend it... i internally have a bunch of asterisks that come with it. this hesitance mostly comes from my opinion that FES has more effective storytelling for the messages that P3 wants to convey.

FES's gameplay mechanics adds to minato's characterization in ways that reload doesn't. it's stuff like the tiredness system, and how it adds to the idea that death literally stole minato's chance to live life normally without complications. it's the way minato can adapt to any of the weapon types of the other party members. it's the way that the party orders/command system was designed specifically for FES and SEES really feels like co-workers for a good chunk. you don't really feel that in reload as much.

there's also some things about FES's visuals that feel better (to me). the palette of the dorms feels more somber and it enhances the atmosphere. and the half body portraits, oh, the characterization of it all that comes from body language (ryoji mochizuki you will always be famous to me). you don't quite get that when you only have a bustshot to work with.

i do realize that me expressing my grievances with missing these things from FES can be interpreted as "oh, so you don't like reload?" and i want to emphasize that this is not the case at all. i think that fes and reload are both valuable experiences, just for completely different reasons. (the same goes for portable as well, it very much has it's merits too!)

despite preferring FES' storytelling over reload's, i am hesitant to recommend it. even though the game mechanics can add to the story, they are also dated and i can see how this can turn people away. do i love how arduous the climb up tartarus feels in FES? yes. i really feel immersed in the minato-ism. but would someone else like it? no. and that's fine too.

this is where reload feels "better" than fes to me: updating it to modern gameplay standards makes it easier for players to enter a flow state. i do feel that the way they went about it did undermine some of the Vibes of the Climb™ (see my talk about the great clock on main).

theurgy is also another one of the mechanics that i'm a bit 🤔 about. i like looking at the characteristics that build the person's gauge (i especially LOVE LOVE how yukari's gauge builds), it's fun for characterization! and the visuals themselves are super appealing and fun to watch. junpei's 2nd theurgy, blaze of life, is one of my favorites because i really love how it represents his bond with chidori.

however i also feel that theurgy is... very overtuned. like, what do you mean i'm sweeping nyx avatar off her feet, i am facing death head on in the eyes and you're telling me she's a cakewalk? (this also applies to some of the other bosses.) of course you can just opt to... not use theurgy, but it feels weird for fights to be framed as "tough and unbeatable" within the narrative only to get through them with relative ease... (ludonarrative dissonance moment)

it feels really funny to write all of this out because i'm sitting here like, "you know, i don't think no one will care the way i do 😂" and that's fine, to be honest! i find it fun to think about how changes to a story can enhance or detract from the overall experience.

i do feel like i could elaborate on the story additions/removals and how some of it made me go "huh" and "whuh" but. i won't. because this post is long as is. but maybe another day. (but know that i am crying about the things they removed for aigis' storyline)

now that i'm done airing out my grievances with the gameplay, i want to talk about the things i liked about reload. even though some things had me go 🤨, i did sincerely have a fun time playing it, and i want to celebrate those things!

for one thing, the social links being voiced really added to the experience. i really, really felt myself immersed in the storylines of minato's classmates social links in ways that i didn't when i played FES. i just really loved seeing how charaters like yuko and keisuke would speak... and everyone's casting felt on point, to me!

reload is also very visually stunning. guy who doesn't play the game because they're too busy getting lost in minato's eyes. it's me. i'm guy. i really loved the animated cutscenes. it's fun seeing minato in a new coat of paint. he's so near and dear to me and seeing him in HD got me crying in the club. some things fell short (why does nyx avatar's face feel so low res...) but LIKE overall i was like, a yippee trail seeing minato interact with port island. i love seeing him walk around.

the story addition i liked the most (oh my god this is going to be such a surprise) (it's not). the ryoji episodes were everything i imagined ryoji to be. you can tell that sogabe worked on reload. i love how aleks le brought him to life. the music box drives me crazy. i love how special ryoji and minato's bond is and seeing them be like, explicitly, textually written the way they were? earth shattering, for me. they made new year's eve even more (oh no i've been flushed down the feelings lane). how the fuck did they do that!!!

i also still really love most of the ENG VA cast and what they brought to the table. allegra clark's performance as mitsuru was especially standout to me... so was zeno robinson as junpei... but GOD!!! SEES felt so lived in. i love the passion the new VAs had for the game and it felt evident to me in their performance.

and that's my reload thoughts :) i think it's nice that reload exists even if some things about it disappointed me. i do wish i didn't have a bunch of caveats when talking about it, but like... i find it very fun to dissect my feelings on it??? given that reload had some things that didn't land for me, it makes it all the more important to me to thank reload for what (i felt) it did well, and celebrate those parts of it. p3 is very near and dear to my heart and i will always cherish the bits that felt resonant with me.

speaking of which, i do think it's nice that reload has been an entry way for people to get into persona... even though i haven't been engaging with the community as much as i used to, i do like that there's been more fanwork to look at... even if not all of it is my cup of tea...! it makes me happy that there's a resurgence of ryomina, but also the entire cast is... so shapely. i cherish them dearly and seeing that others also like them as much as i do makes me really, really happy!

i hope p3 can continue to make others happy the way it made me happy! the message will stick with me for a lifetime, methinks.

oh that's a lot of gigabytes.