#i've been looking forward to tomorrow ALL WEEK
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I am even more excited about Fridays because of you and Presidential Mr. and Mrs. Rogers. I’m so looking forward to how everything turns out with those two!
Well, nonnie, we're finally back!
Red, White & True: Tuscon & Denver [12/?]
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fa6de7473844a121c0945e63d913fadc/842bcd329eb80db1-55/s540x810/16866a2f7245dd20acbad3f607e5620be9769af8.jpg)
Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x curvy Millennial Female!Reader, side of Bucky and Sam Word Count: 4.7k Summary: Your mom joins the campaign trail.
Content/Warnings: political policy discussion, marriage of political convenience, slow burn, really the slowest burn
Notes: This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.
Author Notes: For the seventh day of the Valentine Storygrams!
Previous Chapter | Series
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
[OCTOBER 12 - TUCSON, ARIZONA]
The tension between your mother and Steve simmers beneath the surface over the next two hours. You try to keep things light, showing your mother around campaign bus and introducing her to more of the staff. But there's an undercurrent of unease that you can't shake.
At the hotel the campaign’s logistical director has managed to assign adjoined rooms to you and your mom. After changing into your pajamas, you knock on the door that connects you, and a moment later your mom opens up. The two of you sit on one of the queen beds and begin to talk, just the two of you. There’s much less tension, and she gives you stories and updates about family and friends and old neighbors from your old home. You soak up the nostalgia, but it also feels strange to hear about all the normal things happening - so opposite from your whirlwind days and weeks on the campaign.
Your phone buzzes with a message, and you pause your conversation briefly to check what it says. “It’s just a couple of logistical updates for tomorrow morning,” you say, before looking back up.
When you do, you see your mother’s expression has changed. Now she’s watching you with a pensive expression as she rests against the pillows piled up in front of the headboard.
“What is it?” you prod.
"Honey," she begins, her voice careful. "Are you sure about all this?"
"What do you mean?"
You knew at some point the two of you were due to have this conversation. It’s a conversation that had begun to grow into an argument that had been deterred only by your father father insisting that the two of you not get into it on your wedding day.
She sighs, smoothing invisible wrinkles from the bedspread. "This campaign. Running for office. It's just so much pressure, so much scrutiny. After what happened with those awful photos, I can't help but worry about you. Is this really what you want?"
You take a deep breath, considering your words carefully. "Mom, I know it's not an easy path. But yes, this is what I want. I believe in Steve and what he stands for. And I believe I can make a difference by his side."
Your mother's brow furrows. "But at what cost? Your privacy, your peace of mind? I saw how those false accusations affected you - it’s why I’m here, why Steve called and asked me to come. And that's just the beginning. If Steve wins, your whole life will be under a microscope."
You nod, acknowledging her concerns. "I know. And it's not always easy. But Mom, the good we can do outweighs the challenges. I've seen firsthand how Steve inspires people, how he brings out the best in them. The plans he intends to put into action based on what he wants to do for the people? I want to be part of that."
She shakes her head slightly. "But honey, you barely knew him when you got married. And now you're in the middle of this huge campaign. Don't you think it's all happening a bit fast?"
You can't help but bristle at her words, even as you try to understand her perspective. "Mom, I know it seems fast from the outside. But Steve and I... we've been through so much together already. The campaign has only brought us closer."
Your mother reaches out, taking your hand in hers. "I just worry about you, sweetheart. I’ll always worry about you. I want you to be happy."
"I am happy, Mom," you say, squeezing her hand. "Yes, there are challenges, but I'm doing something I believe in."
She studies your face for a long moment, then nods slowly. "I can see that. I just... I guess I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this. My little girl, potentially becoming the First Lady of the United States."
You chuckle softly. "Trust me, I still don’t feel like that could be real, even though getting Steve elected is our only goal and fuels everything we do. I’m glad you’re here - you’ll be able to see what we do, and what I’ve seen while we do it.”
You can see your mother's expression soften slightly as she listens, though you can sense there is more she’s still thinking about.
"Tell me more about what you've seen," she says, leaning forward slightly. "What's it really been like out there on the campaign trail?"
You can't help but smile, feeling a surge of enthusiasm as you begin to share your experiences.
"Oh Mom, it really is incredible," you say, your voice filled with wonder. "We've been to so many places, met so many amazing people. There was this small town in Iowa where the entire community came out to hear Steve speak. They had handmade signs and everything. And in Detroit, we visited this incredible urban farm that's providing fresh produce to food deserts in the city."
Your mother listens intently as you continue, describing the passionate volunteers who work tirelessly for the campaign that you’re meeting across the country, the vibrant energy of rallies in big cities, the intimate town halls in small communities, and the countless conversations with people you never would have met across every pocket of America.
"We met this incredible woman in New Mexico who's been fighting for clean water rights for her community for decades. And in Florida, we toured a cutting-edge renewable energy facility that's creating jobs and combating climate change. Every day, I'm learning so much about the issues facing our country and the innovative solutions people are developing."
You tell her about the late-night strategy sessions with the campaign team, the thrill of seeing poll numbers climb, and the humbling moments when you've comforted supporters who've shared their personal struggles.
"It sounds amazing," your mother admits, a hint of awe in her voice. "I can see why you're so passionate about it all."
You nod eagerly. "It really is, Mom. I feel like I'm part of something so much bigger than myself."
Your mother's expression softens further, a mix of pride and concern in her eyes. "I can see how much this means to you, sweetheart. And I'm proud of you for being so passionate and dedicated." She pauses, squeezing your hand. "But I want you to remember something important."
You tilt your head, waiting for her to continue.
"You are still important," she says firmly. "You, as an individual, not just as Steve's wife or as part of this campaign. Don't lose yourself in all of this."
Her words remind you of something Helen Santos once said to you, about the importance of maintaining your own identity amidst the whirlwind of the campaign. You nod, acknowledging the truth in her statement.
"I know. I'm trying to keep that balance. It's not easy, but I'm learning."
She squeezes your hand gently. "And what about that awful photo scandal? Are you really okay? I know you’ve shown such a put-together and brave face for the media, and even for me tonight, but I’m your mother, you don’t need to be strong for me."
You take a deep breath, feeling a familiar tightness in your chest at the mention of the incident. It’s surreal to believe it only happened yesterday morning.
"It was hard, Mom. Really hard," you admit, your voice catching slightly. "When I first saw those photos, I felt like the ground had disappeared beneath my feet. I was terrified, embarrassed, and angry all at once. It was like my world had been yanked out from under me."
You take a shaky breath, feeling the echo of the emotions of that moment. "I couldn't stop thinking about all the people who would see those photos, judge me, make assumptions about who I am. For a while, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was terrified it would derail everything we've worked for - and all the worse because the photos aren’t even real."
Your mother wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. You lean into her embrace, grateful for her presence.
You continue, "But then, as we dealt with the fallout, as I spoke with our team and supporters, I realized that this wasn't just about me or the campaign. It was about a much bigger issue - the lack of understanding and support for women's health in our country."
You pause, feeling a surge of passion as you continue. "It’s only been a day since I’ve started to learn more, and I’m just stunned by the amount of things I did’t know, Mom. Like did you know that it takes an average of seven to ten years for a woman to be diagnosed with endometriosis? Or that heart attack symptoms in women are often dismissed as anxiety?”
Your mother nods, her eyes widening. "I remember when your Aunt Sarah was struggling with her symptoms for years before they finally diagnosed her fibromyalgia. The doctors kept telling her it was just stress or depression."the
"Exactly!" you exclaim. "And it's not just about diagnosis. It's about research funding, access to care, and education. Did you know that for decades, most medical research was conducted primarily on men? Even in animal studies, they used male rats and mice. It means we have huge gaps in our understanding of how diseases and treatments affect women differently."
As you speak, you feel a familiar fire igniting within you. It's the same passion that drove you to join Steve's campaign in the first place - the desire to make a real difference in people's lives.
"And then there's the stigma," you continue, your words tumbling out faster now. "So many women's health issues are shrouded in shame and silence. Menstrual health, fertility struggles, menopause - these are all normal parts of women's lives, but we barely talk about them openly. And don't even get me started on maternal mortality rate in the United States. It's shockingly high for a developed country, especially for women of color. Black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications than white women. It's a crisis that's not getting nearly enough attention."
You pause, taking a breath. "The more I learn, the more I realize how much needs to change, and if Steve gets elected, this will be one of my initiatives as First Lady.”
Your mother's eyes widen as she listens to you speak, a mixture of pride and admiration crossing her face. "Honey, I had no idea you'd become so… well, I’m... I'm just so impressed, and I couldn’t agree with you more."
You lean forward, your eyes bright with excitement. "I've been thinking about how we could approach this. We could start with a nationwide listening tour, hearing directly from women about their experiences with the healthcare system. We could partner with medical schools to promote more inclusive research practices. And we could launch a public awareness campaign to break down the stigma.”
Your mother's enthusiasm is palpable, and you can see the wheels turning in her mind as she absorbs all the information you've shared. Suddenly, an idea strikes you, and you feel a surge of excitement coursing through your veins.
"Mom," you begin, your voice brimming with anticipation, "You've always been so passionate about women, about building strong communities, and you have such a way with words. Would you maybe... want to help us build out the messaging for this initiative while you're here?"
Her eyes widen, a mix of surprise and delight dancing across her features. "Me? But you know I'm not a political strategist or a healthcare expert."
You shake your head, grinning. "That's why you would be great! We have plenty of experts and strategists. We need is heads in the room who can translate all of the complexities into real-woman information. And this could be ongoing - after you go home, you could coordinate and consult remotely easy as anything.”
Your mother's eyes light up, a smile spreading across her face. "Oh honey, I would love that. I've… I haven’t really said this to anyone, but I’ve been starting to wonder what I could do that would mean something getting older, and this feels like something I could really contribute to."
You feel a small lump in your throat at her admission - something that clearly had been worrying her - and now you’re even more enthusiastic about how things are developing with this initiative. Not only has your mother begun to understand your passion for the opportunity this campaign and opportunity could bring, but she's now eager to be a part of it.
"Oh, Mom! I can't wait to introduce you to the team and get your insights. We could start tomorrow morning if you're up for it."
She nods enthusiastically. "Absolutely. I'll need to brush up on some of these issues, but I'm ready to dive in."
You continue to discuss potential ideas and strategies, and you feel a shift in the energy between you and your mother. The tension from earlier - from the months since you married Steve, honestly - has dissipated, replaced by a shared sense of purpose and excitement.
You and your mother continue talking late into the night, brainstorming ideas and sharing stories. As the conversation winds down, you feel a deep sense of gratitude wash over you. Not only has your mother come to understand your passion for the campaign, but she's now eager to contribute her own skills and experiences.
"Mom," you say softly, "thank you for being here. For listening and for wanting to be part of this."
She smiles warmly, pulling you into a hug. "Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you. I may not have understood at first, but I can see now how much good you're doing, how much this means to you."
As you settle into bed that night, your mind is buzzing with possibilities. You send a quick text to Steve, updating him on your conversation with your mother and her willingness to help with the women's health initiative. His response is immediate and enthusiastic.
STEVE: That's fantastic! I’m sure your mom's perspective will be invaluable. Can't wait to discuss more tomorrow.💙
You heart flips over his use of the heart emoji, but his response in general makes you smile, loving how your lives are moving forward, your relationship, and the ease you feel to share everything with him now. You’re feeling a renewed sense of purpose and excitement for what lies ahead. As you drift off to sleep, you find yourself imagining the potential impact of this initiative, the lives it could touch, and the changes it could bring.
[OCTOBER 13 - TUCSON, ARIZONA]
The next morning, you wake early, eager to start the day. After a quick shower and getting dressed, you knock on your mother's adjoining door. She answers promptly, already dressed and looking just as excited as you feel.
"Ready for your first official strategy meeting?" you ask with a grin.
Your mother smiles a little nervously, but her eyes are still twinkling with anticipation. "I suppose so. Lead the way."
You guide her down to one of the hotel's conference rooms for the current makeshift campaign headquarters. As you enter, you're greeted by the familiar buzz of activity - staffers huddled over laptops, phones ringing, and the ever-present aroma of coffee.
Steve is already there, engaged in a conversation with the communications team, but he breaks away when he sees you and your mother enter. He strides over, a warm smile on his face.
"Good morning," he says, giving you a quick kiss before turning to your mother. "I'm so glad you're joining the team. Your daughter tells me you have some great ideas for our women's health initiative."
Your mother nods. "Thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to contributing."
And her smile - the real one - is gone.
Oh.
Your eyes flicker to Steve, and although his expression remains open, you notice the note of wariness behind his eyes.
Things had gone so well with your mom you forgot the little issue of her not liking Steve.
As the tension threatens to settle in, you're saved by Mariah, the campaign's health policy advisor, who sweeps into the room with an armful of folders and a tablet balanced precariously on top.
"Oh good, you're all here!" she exclaims, her curly hair bouncing as she sets down her load on the nearest table. "I've got some amazing data from our latest focus groups, and I think it's really going to shape our approach."
Steve checks his watch and grimaces slightly. "I'm afraid I have to leave for that appearance on 'Good Morning Tucson' in half an hour minutes." He turns to you and your mother. "I'm sorry I can't stay, but I'm looking forward to hearing all about it later. I know you'll come up with some fantastic ideas."
You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. "No worries, we've got it covered. Good luck at the tv station.”
With a quick squeeze of your hand and a polite nod to your mother, Steve heads out of the room. You turn back to see your mother's smile has become a bit more forced.
"Well," you say brightly, trying to dispel the awkwardness, "shall we get started?"
Mariah nods enthusiastically, gesturing for you and your mother to join her at the table with other members of the team. As you settle in, she begins to lay out the data from the focus groups, explaining the key findings and areas of concern that have emerged.
Your mother listens intently, her brow furrowed in concentration. You can see her analytical mind working, processing the information and forming connections. Despite her initial coolness towards Steve, you can tell she's fully engaged with the topic at hand, and she easily builds rapport with the rest of the team.
[OCTOBER 15 - DENVER, COLORADO]
"Hey, you," you say as you collapse into the seat next to Steve on the campaign bus. It's been a whirlwind few days since leaving Tucson, with back-to-back events across Arizona and New Mexico before arriving in Colorado. Along with interviews and slew of daily meetings, you've barely had a moment to catch your breath, let alone spend any quality time with Steve.
The bus rumbles to life, pulling away from the community center where Steve just finished giving a rousing speech on education reform. Through the tinted windows, you can see the crowd still waving signs and cheering as you depart.
Steve looks up from his tablet, a tired but genuine smile spreading across his face. "Hey yourself," he replies, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "I feel like I haven't seen you in days."
You raise an eyebrow, a teasing glint in your eye. "Oh really? And here I thought you might be avoiding me. Have you perhaps developed an aversion to your lovely wife?"
Your tone is light, but there's a genuine curiosity beneath the playfulness.
Steve chuckles, but you catch a flicker of something—nervousness?—in his eyes. "Avoiding you? Never. How could I possibly want to avoid the most captivating woman in the world?" He brings your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.
You narrow your eyes and try to ignore the flutter in your stomach at his affection, not quite buying his charm offensive at face value. "Mmm-hmm. So if you're not avoiding me, perhaps you're avoiding someone else? Someone who happens to be my mother?"
Steve's smile falters slightly, and he lets out a small sigh. "Is it that obvious?"
You give him a knowing look.
He runs a hand over his beard. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so transparent. It's just your mother clearly doesn't approve of me, or of our relationship, and I guess I've been trying to avoid giving her more ammunition."
You feel a pang of sympathy for Steve. Your mother's disapproval has been weighing on you too, but you hadn't realized how much it was getting to Steve - your confident husband, the man who seems so fearless and unflagging.
"Steve, I've seen you face down hostile reporters and debate seasoned politicians without breaking a sweat. Hell, you battled Thanos and his legions twice. But every time my mom enters the room, you suddenly have an urgent phone call or meeting to attend."
“Thanos was nothing to your mother.”
You scoff, playing up being very affronted. “Are you really saying my mom is scarier than Thanos?”
He laughs. “Yeah, in a way. I only needed to defeat him, not get on his good side.”
You better angle your body to him, and pull his hand into your lap, holding it in both of yours. You can see he’s thinking, so you keep quiet and let him speak.
“I've been feeling a bit out of my depth with your mom. I know how important she is to you, and I want her to like me, but I can't shake the feeling that she's judging my every move."
You nod, understanding dawning. "She can be a bit intense. She's always been protective of me. And our sudden marriage didn't do anything to ease any potential concerns. I don’t know if she would have been more accepting of the arrangement if I’d handled it differently because… well, it was what it was, but…”
You sigh.
“She was very alarmed over how quickly everything happened, and so I did tell her it was a marriage of political strategy and convenience just before the ceremony. I was trying to reassure her that there was no pressure, nothing to be concerned about, but it didn’t make her any happier, just shifted the nature of her concerns.”
Steve looks at you, his expression a mix of surprise and understanding. "I see. That explains a lot."
You nod, feeling a twinge of guilt. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that conversation earlier. When it happened, we weren’t really…”
He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize for that. I didn’t foster any real, deeper connection in the beginning.”
“…and then things between us changed so quickly," you continued.
Steve squeezes your hand reassuringly. "Again, no need to apologize. I understand. And you're right, things did change fast between us. I still can't believe how lucky I am."
His words warm your heart, but you can still see the worry in his eyes. "Steve, my mom's opinion is important to me, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. We're in this together, remember?"
He nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Together. I like the sound of that. More and more every time we say it.”
“Me, too,” you reply.
Suddenly the rumbling of the bus and the chatter of staff members fades away.
Steve's eyes soften as he gazes at you, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand. The late afternoon sunlight streaming through the bus windows bathes him in a warm glow, highlighting the flecks of green in his blue eyes and the gentle curve of his lips. You feel a familiar flutter in your chest, a mix of affection and desire that seems to grow stronger with each passing day.
As if drawn by an invisible force, Steve leans forward, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek. His touch is feather-light, reverent, as if he's still amazed that he's allowed to touch you like this. You find yourself leaning into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips meet yours.
The kiss starts soft, a gentle press of lips, but quickly deepens as Steve pulls you closer. His beard tickles your skin, a sensation that never fails to send shivers through you.
Steve's lips move against yours with a tenderness that ignites sparks beneath your skin. His hand slides from your cheek to the nape of your neck, and he pulls you closer. The warmth of his body seeps into yours, a comforting heat that makes you feel safe and cherished.
You taste a hint of coffee on his breath, mingled with the spearmint of his favorite gum. The scent of his cologne envelops you, now so familiar and intoxicating. Your free hand hands finds its way to his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palm.
The kiss is intense yet affectionate, a perfect balance of passion and emotion. Steve's lips move against yours with a reverence that makes your heart swell, and you find yourself wanting more, but remember where you are.
You break off the kiss, but you want to stay close and so rest your forehead against his, both of you breathing a little heavier. The world around you slowly comes back into focus - the rumble of the bus engine, the murmur of conversations from campaign staff, the whir of laptops. But for a moment longer, you stay in this intimate bubble, savoring the closeness.
You reach up, running your fingers along his jawline, feeling the soft bristles of his beard against your skin. Steve leans into your touch, a contented sigh escaping his lips. You're struck by how vulnerable and real he is in this moment - so different from the candidate the public sees.
"Steve," you say finally, causing his eyes to flutter open. "What do you think about having dinner with my mom tonight?”
Steve's eyes widen almost imperceptibly. "Dinner with your mom. Tonight."
You nod, your hand still resting on his cheek. “She flies home tomorrow.”
Steve nods, a determined look overtaking the apprehension from a moment before.
Steve nods, a determined look settling on his face. "So, what's the plan? Do we have time between events?"
You pull out your phone, quickly scanning the day's schedule. "We have a gap after the Denver Tech Center tour.”
"If your mother tries to throw me out a window, you have to promise to come to my aid."
You laugh, the tension broken. "Deal. Though I think even my mom would have trouble throwing Captain America out a window."
"You'd be surprised," Steve chuckles.
“Maybe Sam will loan the shield back to you,” you tease.
The shield isn’t borrowed, but you do rope Sam, Sophia, and Bucky into having dinner with you as well as your mother has grown incredibly fond of and friendly all of three of them over the past three days.
After you’ve ouly just ordered drinks, Sophia gets a message that the two of you need to step out of the restaurant to take an urgent call about some last-minute campaign trail changes. You catch Sam and Bucky exchanging a meaningful glance, and you try to give them a smile that conveys your appreciation that they’re serving as a buffer.
The matter - in your opinion - is really a non-issue, but Sophia says she thinks she better go consult with the logistics team, and you don’t argue when she’s that determined.
But it makes perfect sense when you step back inside the restaurant and take in the scene before you.
Sam and Bucky are standing in the waiting area, looking slightly sheepish, no sign of your mother or Steve.
"What's going on?" you ask pointedly.
Sam steps forward, his hands held up in a placating gesture. "Now, don't be mad. We thought Steve could use some alone time with your mom."
You feel your heart rate quicken. "You left Steve alone with my mother?"
Bucky nods, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "He's faced down HYDRA and alien invasions. We figured he could handle one mother-in-law."
Sam adds, "Steve's been practicing what he wanted to say to your mom for days. Figured this was as good a time as any."
You're not sure whether to laugh or panic. "How long have they been alone?"
"About five minutes," Sam replies. "We figured we'd give them a few more. Or you two will - I’m going to join someone else for dinner.”
You smirk at him. “Enjoy your meal with Sophia.”
“Oh, I intend to,” he says, handing you an earpiece before walking away.
You stand there for a moment, torn between curiosity and concern. Part of you wants to rush back to the table and make sure everything is okay. But another part knows that Sam and Bucky are right - Steve and your mother need this time alone.
Bucky gently places a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, it'll be alright. Steve's got this."
You take a deep breath, nodding. "I know. I just hope she doesn’t swallow him up."
"If it helps, we can listen in," Bucky says with a mischievous grin, tapping his ear to indicate the communication device.
You roll your eyes but can't help the small smile tugging at your lips. Curiosity getting the better of you, you put the earpiece in, Bucky doing the same with his own.
"Okay, just for a minute," you concede, putting the earpiece in.
Steve's voice comes through, clear and steady. "I know our relationship moved quickly, and I understand your concerns."
Your mother's voice follows, her tone measured. "Do you?”
“I know it looks like I swept your daughter into a whirlwind marriage agreement and a high-pressure political campaign. And that is where it all started, but we’re so far beyond that now. It’s become so much more."
"I do know that. And I believe it it, too. I’ve been watching you, you know. Long before I got here, and then of course this week. And I’m perceptive."
Steve pauses, his voice thoughtful when he speaks again. "But you still have reservations about me, don't you?"
There's a moment of silence, and you can almost picture your mother's expression - that slight furrow in her brow she gets when she's carefully considering her words.
"I do," she admits finally, her voice soft but firm. "And I'm trying not to, Steve. I really am."
You hear the clink of glasses, the soft rustle of fabric as someone - probably your mother - shifts in their seat.
"I see the way you look at my daughter," your mother continues. "The way your eyes light up when she enters a room, how you lean towards her when she speaks. I see the gentle touches, the silent conversations you have with just a glance. It's... it's beautiful, really."
Steve's voice is warm when he responds. "She's incredible. But those reservations… I'd like to understand them, if you're willing to share."
Your mother sighs. "It's not just one thing, Steve. It's... well, it's everything. Your past, your public persona, this campaign. I look at you, and I see a man who's lived multiple lifetimes, who's seen and done things I can't even imagine. You've saved the world, for goodness' sake. And my daughter... she's brilliant and strong, but she's also young."
You hear Steve take a deep breath before responding. "I understand those concerns. They're concerns I've had myself. But your daughter, as it turns out, is one of the strongest people I know. She challenges me, supports me, grounds me in ways I never expected. She makes me want to be a better man, a better leader."
There's a pause, and you can almost picture Steve leaning forward, his eyes earnest as he continues. "I know I have a complicated past, and yes, a lot of responsibility. But your daughter isn't overshadowed by that - she shines even brighter alongside it. She's not just along for the ride in this campaign or in our life together. She's my partner in every sense of the word.”
Your mother's voice softens slightly as she responds. "I can see that. I've watched her these past few days, how she's grown into this role. She's always been capable, but now... now she's truly flourishing."
"She is," Steve agrees, warmth evident in his voice. "And I want you to know that I will always support her in that growth. Her dreams, her ambitions - they're just as important as mine."
There's another pause, and you can almost picture your mother nodding slowly, processing Steve's words.
"I appreciate everything you’v said, Steve," she says finally. "And I can see how much you care for my daughter. But I need you to understand something. My daughter - she's always been special. Always been driven to help others, to make a difference. But she's also had her heart broken before. She's been let down by life, everything turned upside down by The Blip."
You feel a pang in your chest at your mother's words, memories of past hurts flashing through your mind.
Your mother's voice becomes softer, more vulnerable. "And I couldn't fix any of that. As her mother, that cut like a knife, and I think... I think I never really took that knife out. I've been carrying it with me, this fear of seeing her hurt again."
You hear her take a shaky breath before continuing. "When she told me about your arrangement, about this whirlwind marriage and campaign, all I could think was, 'Here's another way for her to get hurt.' I was so afraid for her."
There's a pause, and you can almost picture your mother's eyes glistening with unshed tears. "But this week... this week has been eye-opening. I've seen her in her element, passionate and driven. I've watched her tackle complex issues with grace and determination. And I've seen how you two show up for each other. I worried it was all for the public, but I know now it’s not.”
"It’s not," Steve says, his response immediate and resolute. "And I want you to know that I take my commitment to your daughter very seriously. I know I can't promise that she'll never be hurt - life doesn't work that way. But I can promise that I will always be there for her, to support her, to lift her up when she needs it, and to celebrate her successes."
You hear your mother take a deep breath. "I can see that, Steve. I really can. And I... I'm sorry if I've been hard on you. I just want to protect her."
“Then we have that in common.”
“We do,” she agrees. “Just give me time. I always loved Jeff, her first husband, but I can see that we could get there, too, Steve.”
Bucky hands you a handkerchief, his metal arm glinting softly in the warm light of the restaurant's entryway. You hadn't even realized you were crying until you feel the soft cotton against your fingertips. You take it gratefully, dabbing at your eyes as you try to compose yourself.
Bucky's metal arm comes to rest around your shoulders, the weight of it comforting and grounding. You lean into him slightly, grateful for the support as you process the emotional exchange you've just witnessed.
[OCTOBER 16 - DENVER AIRPORT]
The Denver International Airport bustles with activity around you, a cacophony of rolling suitcases, muffled announcements, and hurried conversations. Yet in this moment, your focus narrows to your mother standing before you, her carry-on bag at her feet and a bittersweet smile on her face.
"I'm so glad you came, Mom," you say, your voice thick with emotion. The past few days have been another slew of organized campaign chaos, but having your mother here had been a development you didn’t realize you needed.
She reaches out, cupping your face in her hands, her eyes shining with emotion. "Oh, sweetheart. I'm glad I came too. More than you know."
It was good for you, for her, for repairing pieces of your relationship you knew were strained and things you didn’t.
You lean into her touch, feeling for a moment like a little girl again, safe in your mother's embrace, and her strength as your mother had been the thing you needed most from her.
"I'm so proud of you," your mother says, her voice soft but full of conviction. "The work you're doing, the person you've become... it's more than I knew to hope for - a true new chapter for you."
You feel a lump forming in your throat, overwhelmed by her words. "Thank you, Mom. That means so much to me."
She pulls you into a tight hug, and you breathe in the familiar scent of her perfume, a comforting mix of jasmine and vanilla that instantly transports you back to your childhood home.
As you pull apart, your mother's eyes drift over your shoulder, and her expression softens further. You turn to see Steve approaching, a gentle smile on his face.
"I hope I'm not interrupting," he says, coming to stand beside you.
Your mother shakes her head. "Not at all, Steve. I'm glad you're here."
Steve's smile widens as he reaches out to shake your mother's hand. To your surprise, she pulls him into a warm hug instead.
"Take care of my daughter," she says softly, but loud enough for you to hear.
You smile and shake your head.
"Always," Steve replies, his voice filled with sincerity.
As they part, your mother looks between the two of you. "And you two take care of each other. What you're doing is important. Don't lose sight of that, but don't lose sight of each other either."
You nod, feeling Steve's hand come to rest on the small of your back as you reply, "We won't, Mom. I promise."
An announcement over the airport speakers breaks the moment, reminding passengers of the TSA safety checkpoint instructions.
"I better go," she says with a sigh. She picks up her carry-on bag. “Tell Pepper - I assume - thanks for the first-class flight. Of course, I’m ruined now, but it’s worth it.”
The two of you wave and watch her for a moment. It’s early enough there aren’t many people around to take notice of you and Steve.
“Thanks for asking her to come, Steve,” you say.
“I’m glad I did, too.”
“Even with as scary as it was for Captain America to meet his wife’s mom?” you giggle.
He quiets you with a resolute kiss on the mouth that melts away your early morning sass.
But it’s too brief for your liking.
He reaches for your hand as he pulls away. “We better go before we miss our flight,” he says, tugging you along.
You scoff, falling into step beside him. “Because the campaign plane would definitely lift off without its presidential candidate on board.”
He laughs, “Don’t put it past Bucky or Sam to convince them I am there and try to get them to leave without me.”
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next part: coming 2/14
Y'all have been waiting a long time on this chapter, and I apologize for that break, but now it's here - and I'm ultimately happy with where it landed. And we're getting close to the end!
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!
#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#slow burn#political au#steve rogers x you#red white & true#aspen wrote something#aspen's valentine storygrams#female reader
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Too Much Time - if Shadow was never put into stasis.
Part 1 | Part 2 | > Part 3 < | Part 4
Keeping POV on Sonic and Tails for the beginning here!
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Sonic paced around the village impatiently. What the hell did Shadow mean, unfinished business??? He barely gave them any information, and he's already left. Sure, Shadow said he'd be back tomorrow, but that's an entire day away! He didn't even talk about living arrangements...
Sonic passed by Tails' workshop for the 34th time that hour, but noticed his buddy waving. He sped over, skidding to a stop just in front of the door. "You got an update on your analysis stuff?" he asked.
Tails nodded, waving him inside. "Sure do. I've got good news, and..." He pauses, sucking in air through his teeth. "Well, I'm not sure if it's bad news or not, but..."
Sonic interrupted him. "Tell me all of it. We'll figure it out."
Tails fiddles with a tail as he explains. "Well, the good news is you don't need to go to a medical doctor. At least, not yet. The other news... I couldn't figure out what they did to you. I'm going to need more time, but there has to be something to find. You were gone for a week, they can't have just kept you in stasis... it just doesn't make sense."
Sonic shrugged and smiled. "Why not? Maybe they just didn't know what to do with me! It's hard to improve on perfection, after all."
Tails' brow furrows as he sighs and shakes his head. "Sonic, you are so reckless, you know? Just... look, stay around for the next day. At least until Shadow comes back... if he does."
Sonic pouts. "But sitting around is boring!"
The fox's eyes narrow. "Sitting around is the only thing you'll be doing if this shit turns out to be detrimental to you."
"Woah-ho, easy there, buddy! Language! Fine, I'll stay around... just, give me stuff to do, at least."
......
......
Sonic woke up early and flopped onto the couch, flipping through TV channels. He noticed something odd and went back a couple channels, leaning forward. “BREAKING NEWS” scrolled across the bar at the bottom, as images of smoke and fire billowing out of a distant military base filled the screen.
"... bringing us to wonder, was this a coordinated attack? Or was it simply a malfunction within the facility? Rescue teams have been unable to get inside, and for the moment we don't know if there are any survivors. Up next, the weather."
Sonic rewound and paused. He squinted. Something about this place feels familiar. He was just about to put his finger on it when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. He was at the door in an instant, opening it.
Shadow stood there, looking exhausted. He came inside without waiting for an invitation. "Shadow? Where'd you go off to?" Sonic’s question went unanswered as Shadow stared at the TV. An emotion flickered across his face, one Sonic couldn't quite place. Shadow snatched the remote off the table, changing the channel as he did. "Hey! I was watching that!" Sonic whined.
Shadow glared at the blue hedgehog. He tossed the remote over, which Sonic caught easily. "Dude, what's your deal?" Shadow slumped onto the couch, getting out his notepad and pen.
"Business done.”
The sound of a door opening stopped Sonic before he could respond. Tails groggily leaned over the second floor railing. "Sonic, it's four in the morning... why are you being so loud...?" He rubbed his eyes and slightly opened them, barely catching Sonic and a second shape... a second. Instantly, Tails’ eyes snapped open. "Shadow?! You're actually back! Hold on, let me come down," he said as he began whirling his tails together, helicoptering over the railing and downstairs.
Sonic lets out a long sigh, tapping his foot and running a hand through his quills. “Shadow decided to change the channel when I was trying to figure out why the place they were showing on the news looked familiar.”
Tails landed and folded his arms. “You know they show stuff on the news more than once in the same day, right? Especially if it was something big.”
“I guess you’re right,” Sonic says, scratching his head. “I’ll just catch it later, then.”
Tails lets out a halfhearted laugh before turning to Shadow. "So... did you decide on taking up Sonic's offer of living here? I do have a spare bedroom that you could use until we get a house made for you."
Shadow stared for a moment, slowly coming to the realization that, yes, that was what he was doing. He scribbled on his notepad. “Is that okay?”
"Of course! Are you hungry? We could talk about where you want your house over breakfast." As if on cue, Shadow's stomach growled. Tails and Sonic laugh as Shadow turns away slightly, embarrassed.
"Well, that settles that! Chili dogs, anyone?" Sonic offered, getting a groan out of Tails.
"Chili dogs for breakfast? Come on, Sonic..."
"What? You still owe me from yesterday!"Shadow holds back a smirk. You still don't know if you can fully trust them yet. Give it more time...
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I'm SO sorry this took so long, but I promise it's worth it! Part 4 just needs some editing, and part 5 is in the works!
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#shadow#miles tails prower#tails the fox#tails#fanfic#sonic the hedgehog fanfic#sonic fanfic#shadow the hedgehog fanfic#shadow fanfic#writing#shadow is awake for 50+ years#mute shadow#he didn't talk for 50+ years so his voice degraded into nearly nothing#experimentation#experimentation tw#sonadow#slow burn#it's going to be a while before sonadow takes off
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I know I have been fairly quiet here recently. Rest assured I have been writing -- I've just been working on a Secret Santa piece that I couldn't share snippets of.
But tomorrow my giftee gets to open their gift and I'm VERY excited!!!
#amy rambles#amy fights the documence#fic: the secret santa fic#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunín#astarion x tav#GUH I CAN'T EVEN TAG THIS WITH THE TAV'S NAME#QPWBFICBELWBXUAHAK#i'm just REALLY excited for giftee to open my gift#i've been looking forward to tomorrow ALL WEEK
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my 5-course meal
the skin around my nails
3 ibuprofens
2 prozacs
cereal i'm already tired of
lukewarm milk
#melonposting#when i got groceries on sunday i was like ok.. i don't wanna cook this week so it's just gonna be simple... milk and cereal and bread...#but i've eaten all my bread and i'm sick of the cereal (and it's my only food)#it's literally just been milk and cereal and bread since sunday morning. eeugh#and it's captain crunch guys. it's good the first time and then you hate it. it's so sweet#but i don't wanna waste more money on food... auugh...#sigh. i'm gonna 1) finish this stupid box of stupid cereal 2) get pizza for dinner 3) get more groceries tomorrow#hell world. but at least i get to look forward to pizza#<- yeah no wonder i've been having insomnia & headaches since sunday. it's not just the punk rock concert. it's also this terrible diet lol
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as i'm waiting for my new tablet to arrive i'm reminded why i don't shop online ever and hate paying in advance for something i haven't been able to hold in my hands yet.
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it's starting to seem like it won't arrive before my birthday tomorrow so i am officially livid. i specifically picked a store that wasn't far away and promised delivery on the 28 at the earliest but it looked like they only shipped it on the 28th judging by the status 😒 the one time I order a gadget online instead of going directly to a store and this happens. birthday officially ruined.
#i am genuinely so livid i've been livid for days#i ordered a week in advance it should have arrived it's only from moscow to saint petersburg#i was checking the status update and it hadn't changed for the first 3 days after creating the order#so it's not that they failed to deliver at the earliest date it's that they didn't even try#i tell you i haven't been this mad in a long time i am fuming#sorry im not the best conversationalist when im like this#it looks like the case will arrive from another country faster than fucking moscow#ugh there's a reason everyone hates moscow#im so livid im shaking i tell you#i can't concentrate#this is pointless but i needed to vent#also explain why i might be in such a shitty mood for my birthday#which is tomorrow#it was the only thing i was looking forward to#i was this close to cancelling the order on like 26th or 27th to order from a different store#but i was afraid they will take too long to return the money (could be like a week) so yeah#i know i chose badly but they were promising 28th and i naively thought they would deliver#other stores' window was from 29th#i know it's stupid but it really has ruined my birthday cause it's all i can think about
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Physically, I'm already lying down.
Emotionally, I feel like I need to find a soft spot and crumple dramatically to the ground and lay down for a few weeks.
#sonder speaks#personal#but also if I wasn't fine with this being read/reblogged without context I wouldn't have posted it here#this week has been exhausting#I feel like I need permission from someone to go crawl into a nest and cry#one of my budgies died a few days ago#but I was looking after other animals that normally have a more dedicated caretaker#which was hard enough to handle that I couldn't really mourn my budgie much#especially when I need to keep happy around the remaining one so he doesn't grieve or get lonely#and I had to do a few specific tasks that are really really hard on me because nobody was there to help#and I tried to help my sister with things but none of the things worked#and a plan our family is excited about started to hit roadblocks#and one member of the family had a meltdown that triggered trauma in others in the family and drove things downhill#the family members at the center of this meltdown normally help me with chores and animal care#I was looking forward to them being home so I could rest and recuperatr and mourn#and now the meltdown has followed them here and it's built on top of years of other meltdowns and everything is tense#and of course it's bringing up old traumas and expectations and fears for me too#and I end up as a 30 year old feeling like he has 16 year old problems again#my whole body is tense#I'm not tired enough to sleep#I almost feel like crying for my budgie and all my fears and the things I let mysrlf get excited for#the things that either won't happen at all or are tainted by this veil of persistent bitterness that followed them home to me#almost#but I fear the possibility that crying could make things worse in any capacity#and I've struggled to cry for years anyway#so I'm just trying to use therapy tools to quiet the spiraling thoughts#and making this post because it feels like journaling without the pitfalls I fall into while journaling or talking directly to a person#hoping I'll get enough sleep that I don't accidentally trigger a sleep-deprivation/stress seizure my meds can't stop#and tomorrow I have to get back to studying which is very hard for me but gets me closer to making money#I liked when things were mostly good and calm and just sucked on a passive level -- can I have that again?
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Everything day
#Had an Extremely long Game Day with smol today and I think it fixed my brain so that's great news#Past week has been rough!!!! Got hit with a semi-minor anxiety episode and a pretty serious depression episode to bookend last week#I'm all good it's just - took a bit out of me lol#Any number of things really too many to list so I'll just sum up as blegh - feeling better now#Started a new printing project!! Looking forward to that hopefully gonna do some test printing tomorrow#It Should work out well but pfbtl I can't count on my formatting skills for nonsense - shapes wtf are those#Been drawing <3 Been writing <3#Thinking quite very seriously about returning to doodle roots something awful#I tend to spend a Long Long time editing my stuff down by three different phases#Makes them very pretty! But I think I've had enough of that for the moment#New! Novelty! Needed and necessary and I'd rather Write about these than fuss more about how Pretty Or Not they are#They're pretty enough! I've made shapes on paper that previously didn't exist and now I can think about them as they are! Magic!#So that's the current plan - do still have One more step of editing to do before that lol but smol had offered me videos to listen to during#Good to have longer videos so I'm not constantly start-and-stopped#Oh and Pepper went into molt Again and just came out and he's genuinely gigantic now#And so dark! Handsome boy was a nice soft brown when we picked him up and so tiny small and now he's nearly black and huge#And so furry now he's definitely at least twice as fuzzy#Got him to eat - he was definitely hungry but he seems to be pacing himself still#Everything everything
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screech
#tag rant incoming#the wait until results day is killing me#6 days 17 hours until I log onto ucas and see where I'm going in less than a month#time will not go faster no matter what i do I'm an anxious mess all the time and all I look forward to is going to bed so when i wake up#there's 1 less day to wait#I want to get into my first choice so so so badly and I'm not sure how I'll take it if I don't#my second choice is an equally good uni and course but it's just not the same to me#I'll go anyway if that's what ends up happening cus I know I'll enjoy it eventually but yeah#god has a plan everything happens for a reason etc etc but I'm Scared™#ok positives#today i bought my new laptop that I've been saving for for months - there wasn't any in stock at currys so I'll have to wait for delivery#so now I can finally join discord calls and make silly PowerPoints again#the end of my job is in sight - I wasn't put on the schedule for my last week so now I just have 2 ish weeks to go#on Monday I'm going round to a friend's to play stardew valley#rwrb movie comes out tomorrow#no matter what happens on results day my friends and I are going to a gay bar in Belfast which I'm so excited for#followed by a sleepover with another friend#the future is happening very soon and it's very overwhelming but I will get through it#I am just the unfortunate combination of anxious and impatient#ellis exclaims
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i finally got my adhd med dosage worked out and also for like the first time since upping the dosage actually managed to take it consistently long enough for it to actually kick in over the last few weeks and god damn. that shit is magic.
#im on the non-stimulant version bc the stimulant ones were too up-and-down for me#so they kinda act like how ssri meds do in terms of slow buildup#but now that I'm there its!!! insane!!!#I've been falling asleep just when I'm tired which I just am totally unable to do normally#I woke up before my alarm today and was like maybe I'll take a shower!! in the MORNING! as soon as I woke up!!!!#and left on time for my appointment w time to spare - then instead of going home after having accomplished the one (1) task for the day#i voluntarily just went and did MORE things. like. for FUN. and didnt have to force myself and be like 'you'll enjoy it once you're there'#then I finished doing fun things at the river with the dog and was like. yknow what? I'm gonna be productive and work on the car.#and I DID. then hung out and socialized and watched a movie after?#at this point this is 4 WHOLE THINGS in one day????? and it wasnt prescheduled and I did it all because I just felt like it#I am fucking astounded. I am going to do everything possible to make sure I don't fall off meds again bc like. this shit is lifechanging#as long as I'm not physically too tired I'm actually looking forward to doing more tomorrow too#like. god damn. not having to force myself to do things that logically I know I enjoy and just being able to DO them is insane#I'm gonna go to the weekly farmers market next week and pick up veggies. and then make something with them.#⭐✨magic✨⭐
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hehe — nice.
#✯ — [ ʰᵒʳˢᵉˢ ᶤᶰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ] ⨯ ooc#not nice actually#get your fuckin shit together reiikon oh my fuckin GOD —#sorry for my absence i am burned out.#not from this.#but work.#i've had to save the last of my pto for my upcoming trip next week. so it's been a minute since i've had an actual break from it all.#heading up to indi for my grandparent's memorial thing#i'll be gone for about a week.#BUT I'LL HAVE INTERNET. and a lot of down time i think. so i'm hoping to be around some.#so look forward to that i guess.#i have tomorrow off#and then i work one day#and then i'm heading out.#just so y'all know — but otherwise i should be around for a little bit tonight#and a lotta bit tomorrow.#tbd
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i have lost the mandate of heaven (i cannot sleep and have work in 5 hours)
#first day back on the regular 6-3 schedule and i really fucked myself by staying up so late the past week and a half#and tomorrow's my first day on my own since i started this job too T-T#i've been doing all the work with no issues for a few weeks anyways but tomorrow's my first day with no safety net#i am *so* not looking forward to tomorrow#lexi barks
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really close to starting the Reaper IFF mission! I wanted to do all the assignments and planet scanning before hand, so I'm currently halfway through the Arrival DLC.
idk how many hours I'll have left after the Reaper IFF mission ... but it feels like I'm heading towards the endgame.
I'm trying to finish ME2 before Friday so that I can spend my vacation just playing massive amounts of Dragon's Dogma 2
#[static]#wolf plays mass effect#I did all the loyalty missions this week#also my saves keep getting corrupted?? I've found a way to work around it#but it's when I save immediately after an autosave I've noticed#can't load the normal save but it won't let me access menus or anything if I load in lol#it's been a really busy week so apologies if I haven't gotten back to folks#work has been absolute ass .... I'm really looking forward to my weekend#tomorrow night me and some coworkers are going after work to get milkshakes!#time to take a 30 minute nap before i have to head out the door
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ok nope on both sites I'm getting more buffering than show so I'm out, guess I'll just have to watch tomorrow at some point ☹️ I hate it here
#bummer because i've been looking forward to this for ages and i'm not remotely tired so i'll no doubt be up for the next hour regardless#gonna blacklist the tags until i get a chance to watch tomorrow so please tag your spoilers!#and in the mean time i hope you all have fun maybe i'll have more luck next week 😔#talking
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feeling incredibly melancholy that i start student teaching tomorrow and will have significantly less time to chill and vibe and also be a person
#personal#mav posts#i finally had time to write this break and now i'm not going to have that again#and i know it'll be good for me to be less online because it has gotten kinda bad in the past few weeks#but i'm going to be so tired#and i'm going to be so tired for the rest of my life#the teaching itself should be good hopefully. HOPEFULLY#but so much of this program really really sucks and i'm not looking forward to the other classes#teaching middle schoolers improv? yeah i'm excited#going to my grad student class in a program that doesn't value my discipline with people in power who refuse to communicate? horrible#not to mention that so much of this program is talking about how terrible teaching is and how hard it is and how schools aren't set up for#student success. all topics that need to be addressed but i'm already scared and tired and upset at the state of the world#i don't want to hear about how my profession will maybe not exist within 4 years because no one is hiring theatre teachers right now anyway#i really might have to get married just for health insurance and benefits if i can't get a steady job#which was already an option with me and my partner anyway but it's still not a great place to be yknow#tomorrow is going to be so rough because betsy's goign to want to talk about the political climate and i have been surviving because i've#been dissociating every time anything about him is mentioned#it's not a good response i know but ! idk y'all idk
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ough i have got to learn to drive by myself and fast. i've had my license since november but havent really been driving too much (and so far i've only gone once by myself) since i don't particularly... enjoy driving. it makes me nervous but alas! i have jury duty next month! which means i have to drive myself there!
im being forced out of my comfort zone faster than i would've liked but hopefully over the next few weeks i can work on driving by myself until i can hopefully drive on my own outside of the neighborhood
i have to figure out some way to keep myself calm though bc the whole reason i like having someone in the car with me is so i can talk to someone. when im driving by myself its just me alone with my thoughts, which causes me to start overthinking and get anxious. not exactly a good frame of mind for being on the road!!
i know i could try to push jury duty back to a later date but. idk. i feel like i just want to 1. get it over with and 2. go there just so i can get an idea of what its like because i will most likely have to do it again at some point. so. i have to learn how to drive on my own
#ive only been 18 for like. 5 months. and i already have my first jury duty summons. yay.#whatever. tomorrow i think i'll just practice in the neighborhood for a bit and slowly work my way up to driving on the road#i only have like 3 weeks to do this so uh! hopefully i can!! not looking forward to it!!#only thing im looking forward to about jury duty is that it gives me an excuse to finish a book i've been meaning to finish for several -#- months now since a lot of jury duty is just sitting and waiting like all day#i hope when i actually have to go to jury duty that i get dismissed quickly because i do not want to spend longer there than i have to
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I would say 'not to overshare', but this is tumblr. It's what we do here, right?
#i joke sometimes that when my mental health gets better and the skin on my face gets chance to recover from the crying I get a cold#then my skin dries up from all the nose blowing#then as soon as the cold clears up my mental health tanks again#it's a never ending cycle I've been locked in for literally my whole life#anyway#anywayyyy#i just managed to shift a cold and my life has fallen apart#i'm lucky I haven't really taken any time off work for my mental health over 5 years#well I called in today#and I think I'll do the same tomorrow#and next week too#and#oop then it's my birthday#i'm looking forward to that#oh wait no I'm not#so that's me losing money as punishment for losing family I guess#how dare you love and care for people despite your fear of loss and struggle to to trust people#how dare you see the best in people after experiencing a lot of the worst of people#that's what you get for putting yourself in a position in which people can (and do) let you down#and it hurts so fucking much#i feel cold on the inside#i've not stopped shaking or shivering for a solid 16 hours#back on my bullshit#alright love ya
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