#i've been improving but | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago

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There are two paths before me.

One is overgrown, full of thorns and bristles and broken branches. The other is sunny and clear.

Surely, the first will lead to nothing but risk, danger, and pain, while the second will be a blissful, joyful walk.

But there's nothing for me on that clear path. No food, no life, no person out there besides myself. I know that the overgrown path can grant me all those things and more, if only it weren't such a wretched way to go.

So I spend some time on the clear path, walking forward until I can't take the loneliness and discontent anymore, and I turn back. But when I arrive where I started, the first path is still overgrown, worse still than before. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I start down the clear path again. When I decide to take care of myself and survive instead of starving to death on the barren trail, I turn back again. And again, the other is overgrown and terrifying.

I go back and forth, until I fall to my knees, crying and begging for someone, anyone, to help me. To remove the thorns and bristles and branches.

And then I realize, this entire time, I've been running from the pain. I've been waiting for the trail to clear up on its own, to grant me safe and easy passage.

It wasn't my fault I was never taught wilderness survival - I don't know how to make it through such an area, bandage the scrapes and wear functional gear and step over the branches. But I can learn, even if I'll experience some hurt along the way.

#i've been improving but #i decided to spend my time on things that matter instead of spending it on my appearance #i've been practicing doing that a lot #but it's still really hard sometimes. i feel so desperate to prove myself. to hide the autism and anything else they've ridiculed.#prove to them that i can. that that's ''not me''. trying to heal inherently means taking care of myself and investing in my actual #interests rather than wasting my life so i can look pretty and come off appealing and confident and NT and whatever else #but the shame and desperation are so strong i've spent the day crying just because i didn't spend the time to make myself the #most impressive person in the room lmaooo #anyways. realized that i always run into the same roadblock. ''this hurts really badly so i'm going to run back into the arms of NPD becaus #that feels safe and stable''#people can look down on me. not take me seriously. assume i'm incompetent or incapable. find me shameful or embarrassing or flawed.#they can make fun of me. talk about me behind my back. show disgust or disdain. abandon me with no explanation. exclude me. reject me.#and yeah it hurts. it hurts so fucking bad. but hiding who i am and turning everything into a source of approval-seeking is making me #actively want to die. and i'm incapable of getting close to anyone or anything like this. i need to acknowledge the pain and let it hurt.#learn to deal with it instead of run from it.

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romansleftshoulderpad · 8 months ago

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As a writer, I love going back through the comments I've gotten on AO3. I promise that the minute you take of your time has been appreciated for hours/months/years

#I still get comments on a fic I wrote about??? 5 years ago?? and it means so much to me #It's also genuinely such a nice boost of confidence #It's really easy as humans to dismiss anything old of yours as bad #But it makes me happy knowing I've improved #Your comment saying I'm a good writer based on that? Oh BAYBEE it's been constant practice since then

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kiwidaru · 2 months ago

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I want them to be the gambling power couple they were always meant to be 😩

#huskerdust #hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #been sitting on this one for a while #couldnt get it to look quite how i wanted #but i like to think I've improved since this one!

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drivebypainter · 17 days ago

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Redraw of this, plus some doodles!!

#I've been using my art tablet more!!#you can see my improvement in the doodles HAHA #I got way more confidant in my art skills the more I was drew on my tablet #svsss #shen jiu #original shen qingqiu #shen qingqiu #drivebypainter art #my art

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uncanny-tranny · 6 months ago

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Periodic reminder from your friendly neighbourhood gymbro: The work you put in will come back. If you modify your workouts, the reward will still come to you.

So do knee pushups (no, we're not calling them "girl pushups"). Do weight machines. Put the resistance or weight low on machines.

The reward of fitness still benefits you because fitness is not a punishment. It should never be used or seen as a punishment for existing. Fitness is just... part of existence for many of us. However your fitness looks is fine. Don't let the broader fitness culture tell you that you need to do things their way. You'll be fine with what you're doing. If you stop needing modifications as you start doing more intense workouts, great! But if you never stop using modifications, then that's fine because fitness isn't a punishment or admittance of failure.

#anti fitness culture #anti diet culture #positivity #gentle reminders #i use the weight machines and i still benefit because i put in the work just the same as if i did free weights #i've INCREASED my weights significantly since starting #i lift more than my body mass regularly on some of these machines - how is that not improvement?#i love being a non-toxic gymbro <3 #BACK TO MY WORKOUT #also i'm like... sixty pounds away from maxing out a couple of the leg machines. like i have been IMPROVING #like guys. please be normal to yourself about your fitness level PLEASE

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months ago

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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #a-qing #jin ling #wen ning #jiang cheng #“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene #But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)

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noxious-fennec · 1 year ago

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Snapshots of simpler times..

#hellooo been a while.. again #i was overwhelmed by finals but now I've been over two weeks off of school so you get a treat!!#i was feeling nostalgic and wanted to draw uniforms and this came to be #it's supposed to look like candid photos if it doesn't that's the fault of your lacking imagination /s #anyway i tried to improve on different things with each one so they're not really consistent but i tried my best #ignore how inconsistent my artstyle is you just gotta get used to it #the picture with sleepy tubbo is titled whittle boy in my heart <3 #the first two are kinda related. tommy shot up the mess hall and had the month's cleaning duty cus of it #anyway i ramble too much here. it's good to be back tho! maybe I'll draw something else before the end of the year lmao #my art #dsmp fanart #cwilbur #ctommy #ctubbo #cniki #cfundy #lmanberg #fennec.art

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mikesbasementbeets · 7 months ago

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Sometimes I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if... what if they don't like the truth? // Sometimes people don’t really say what they’re really thinking. But, you capture the right moment… it says more. // I didn't say it. // You didn't have to.

[remake of my very first gifset one year later]

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #stranger things #mikesbasementgifs #hiii i rly love making gifs i'm so glad i started it's been so much fun playing and learning and i'm genuinely so surprised and also #proud of myself for how far i've come in a year. theres so much more i want to learn and seeing how much i have visibly improved is #great motivation to keep pushing myself and trying new things... like this actually i've never done a set like this before dhjsfdsdjhs #also if you’ve ever said nice things about my gifs please know that i love you it means the world to me <3333333 #anyway look at these gay boys they want to kiss each other on the mouths!!! (and they will!!!!!)#ok byeeeeeeeeeeeee

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noenoaholi · 9 months ago

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SURPRISE!! Have some new dennor art in the year 2024

well... i felt so emotional while drawing this because dennor were the first ship i drew on my very first tablet 9 years ago

i enjoyed the process and i also realized i have missed mathias and lukas a lot ❤️

#aph denmark #aph norway #dennor #aph dennor #axis powers hetalia #axis powers ヘタリア #art #fanart #my art #mathias kohler #lukas bondevik #hetalia #every now and then i see dennor fans reblogging and liking my old dennor art #so i've been wanting to do this for a while #for the people who have been following me for the most time #thank you!!#i hope there's improvement in my art style 9 years later haha

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da-janela-lateral · 2 months ago

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Bird Improvement Club believes you can do it!

#I've been training avian anatomy! : ) you can notice some differences between this and the other more stylized drawings of them #rooster gouda is still wonderful to me. he looks like such a polite young cockerel who does his best to keep things in order #I really love drawing the birdies they make me so happy. I have to do the spirits and such crew next. because of tome budgie...#and serizawa pigeon...#mobird psycho #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #musashi goda #tenga onigawara #body improvement club #lalarts

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chronurgy · 1 year ago

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Gortash designs and builds mechanisms so I imagine he has to be able to sketch fairly decently in order to sketch his projects and designs. And I'm imagining a pile of charcoal sketches of Durge, done over their entire acquaintance, starting out with sketches of them in battle and then slowly becoming more detailed and intimate and as they do, the titles changing from things like "The Bhaalspawn" and "Bhaal's Chosen at Their Bloody Work" to "The Chosen in Contemplation" and finally just Durge's name

#it's speculated that the individual pictured in these sketches is [name] who was thought to have resolved the absolute crisis #But the existence these drawings may suggest it was merely a hoax to improve their reputation #Idk man I just love the idea of Gortash keeping this series of sketches of durge #I admit a crazy fic idea I've been rotating is the idea of an art history commentary set 100 years after the events of the game covering #The art found in Gortash's estate after his death and how people would interpret it and their potential relationship #And link to first hand descriptions of the time and academic papers and all that #Stuff like “see Elerrathin et al for analysis on the class dynamics of formal portraits and new money during this period” or something #enver gortash #dark urge #dark urge x gortash #durgetash #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers

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brbuttons · 3 months ago

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We saw Coraline on the big screen finally, and it may have reawakened an ancient special interest...

#we can still draw them from memory after all this time #it's kinda cathartic even with it all in all #we haven't been active in this fandom since 2010 - 2018 #but if I remember correctly we were active for that entire 8 years #I've no idea if anyone remembers our old art but suffice to say we've improved a bunch.~#Coraline #laika studios #Other Mother #Other Father #the other mother #the other father #coraline 15th anniversary #Retro Art #artists on tumblr #Otherbuttons #coraline fanart

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heyitsspiders · 1 month ago

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Never alone

#digital art #art #bill cipher #gravity falls #ford pines #gravity falls stanford #gravity falls bill #the book of bill #gravity falls ford #young stanford pines #toxic yaoi #toxic relationship #i've literally only been drawing them #idk if ive ever drawn this much ever #this makes my 74th drawing of them #not including every traditional drawing or doodle #its insane #though my art has improved really quickly #who knew drawing every day would do that?

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anewp0tat0 · 1 month ago

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actually realizing that maybe a second huge reason why im rarely around now, aside from my perpetual business and overwhelming mindset, is the fact that I've accidentally curated myself as an art blog only. so aside from everything before, I think I've unwillingly set an expectation of myself to only come back around when I've finished a piece that is new and strong and has much much effort. and I don't do anything else.

this is weird. I swear I'm gonna try to come back around more casually like before. I hope I can insert a piece I did in like 2 hours riiight here: