#i've been having a really bad week so this was nice to draw for myself thank you for asking for it

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!

[airinn]

Since it is almost spring… Kaz with a flower crown?

(｡･･｡) I just think he is so beautiful

[disposal-blueeee]

( stereotypical mexican music starts playing

[leconcombrerit]

This thing had been rotting in my files for a year (minus three weeks but that's basically a year). It was a redraw of one of my first ever pieces for this fandom, and I still find it quite okay if a little stiff in places, so I thought I might as well share it since I don't draw that much anymore.

And then I had second thoughts, which obviously led to me posting it anyway, as you can see, but I realized I've almost made it a point not to draw anything related to Sasi anymore. As in at all. I can't, and I don't want to, and even sharing old art feels a bit 'meh'. It's too directly linked to my long going art block.

What I mean by that is that if I took all the followers I have out there and asked them what they know me or initially followed me for, you might have a fair amount of Lis 2 and the occasional Desert Bluffs afficionados, but you'd get an overwhelming majority of Sanders Sides. Sanders Sides fashion posts even. I was by no means famous for it or anything, but at my small artist scale, it was the biggest success I had.

And it makes it much harder to go back to it at all now. One, because I don't give a damn about the show anymore. Two, because I haven't been properly obsessing over anything in a while (there was a series early this year but given the actual emotional distress I get thinking about it I'm ruling it out). I haven't had real engagement from my own brain, nor real engagement from a broad audience -which makes sense, I'm not posting for anything that will reach a broad audience. But it takes its toll regardless.

Even when I finally finished writing a long fic, I couldn't help but feel 'all this for what ? Ten people or so and two hundreds have dropped it ?'. Which is a bad way to think about stuff you write for your own enjoyment but, you know, the brain gets happy with external validation even if you pretend really hard you don't care.

And so it feels tempting to go back to the golden goose just the time to get the creative juice pumping back, and I try, and I always end up frustrated and angry and feeling even less like making art that before. I'm not having fun with Sasi. Like an old friend you have nothing to say to and yet you have so much to say otherwise, so you get a bit frustrated, you know ? Not sure I'm making much sense, but that's how it feels. I want to have something like that again, but it won't be with Sanders Sides, and I somehow just want if off my radar.

It was left hanging, then lost its spark, and then I stopped caring altogether and I most likely won't even watch the finale when it does come out. I'm over it. I wish I wasn't though, because it does feel like the artistic spark won't come back all on its own this time, and the buzzing community made it so much easier to bounce back and do shit when your brain got wired all wrong.

It sounds like I'm just bawling after love and likes and stuff, and I guess that's part of it, in a way ? Like I'm in no place to do things for myself, and seeing the one thing I used to use to get back in the flow giving me a bored sense of dread doesn't feel too great.

Yet this drawing is still good ! I find it good ! I don't remember everything, but I can tell from the looks of it that I spent a while on it ! It's nice ! I should celebrate that. So I'm sharing it. I think it will be the last piece of Sasi I ever share, though. I'm not watching the finale when it comes out. I don't care about it. I'll just keep doodling my OCs and characters from cool books every once in a while. I'll write little things.

I just really, really need to stop trying to go back to it when it's clearly not working and not even for good reasons. It was a fun ride though ! So yeah. Basically. A whole ass rant for a one year old piece of art. I'm in my bi-annual depresso mood, nothing too surprising there.

[cosmerelists]

How Cosmere Characters Would React to Having Roommates Who Leave Dirty Dishes in the Communal Sink

As requested by @angelofmusings :)

Per angelofmusings' request, Cosmere characters are in a dorm-type situation with a shared kitchen....and SOMEBODY keeps leaving dirty dishes in the sink! How will they respond?

1. Shallan

Let's just say you do NOT want to get into an "ignoring things" competition with college-age Shallan.

Shallan: [humming to herself as she sits at the kitchen table, drawing] Roommate: Uh, Shallan...? Is that....a good place to be drawing? Shallan: [Looks up. Behind her is a tower of dirty dishes higher than a human person, teetering ominously and casting a shadow across the table where she works] Shallan: Hmm? What do you mean?

2. Sarene

Uses weaponized incompetence until her roommates get their act together.

Roommate: Why are all of my bowls chipped? Sarene: I did your dishes for you since you don't have time! <3 Roommate: Y-You did a bad job! Sarene: Did I? Huh! I tried really hard to help since you seem to be way too busy to do any housework! Sarene: Anyway, I'll get back to doing your laundry! [prepares to dump an entire cup of bleach into the washing machine] Roommate: NOOOOO

3. Vin

Vin only has one solution. And that solution is MURDER. D-Dish murder, I mean.

Roommate: Um, why are all of my dishes in a garbage bag? Vin: Well, you left them in the sink for a week so I threw them away. Roommate: You can't throw away my dishes! Vin: It's either that or throw YOU away in a trash bag. Vin: But my boyfriend said murder wasn't the answer. Vin: Yet. Roommate: ... Roommate: I-I'll do the fucking dishes!

4. Elend

Elend convinces all of the roommates to vote on who does which chores.

Elend: ... Elend: ... Elend: I can't believe they voted for me to do ALL of the chores.

5. Renarin

Rather than confront the situation verbally, Renarin opts to leave anonymous notes when nobody is looking.

Roommate (reading): This one says, "The dishes have been in the sink for 2 days." Roommate: This one says, "The dishes have been in the sink for 3 days." Roommate: This one just says, "4 days." Roommate: This one just says "5." Roommate: ... Roommate: Why is this so ominous???

6. Steris

Ha ha! As if Steris didn't set up an extensive roommate contract and force everyone to sign!

Steris: The arbitrator will be here tomorrow at 4. Roommate: Arbitrator...? Why? Steris: To discuss the dishes issue, per Section 9c of the contract we all signed. Roommate: I ONLY LEFT THEM OVERNIGHT. Steris: 4:00pm. Be there!

7. Dalinar

Let's just say that the roommates of college-age Dalinar "Blackthorn" Kholin are not going to risk pissing him off.

Roommate 1: Dude! Don't just leave that in the sink! Roommate 2: My coffee mug? Why? Roommate: 1: Dalinar gets out of class soon! Roommate 2: So? Dalinar doesn't care about dishes. I've never seen him using any other than that one steak knife he carries around. Roommate 1: Yeah, the knife he used to STAB a guy in the LEG after which he KEPT EATING HIS BURGER Roommate 2: Whoa he did that??? Roommate 1: I'm just saying he seems like the type. Wash! Your! Dishes!

8. Marsh

Marsh just does all the dishes himself because he's the RESPONSIBLE one.

Marsh: (grumbling to himself while carefully washing the dishes) Stupid roommates out having fun with girlfriends, getting into trouble, doing stuff. Marsh: While I'm here doing what needs to actually be done... Marsh: ... Marsh: Makes me want to stab myself in the eyes sometimes.

9. Tress

Tress just does all the dishes herself because she is too nice to do otherwise.

Roommate: I can't TAKE it anymore! Tress: ??? Roommate: You're always making us dinner, you always do the dishes, you fixed the air conditioner last week even though that's not even your job! Roommate: Your power of friendship is TOO STRONG and I think I'm going to have to become a better person now! Tress: I'm happy for you! Roommate: YOU WOULD BE

10.Kaladin

At first, Kaladin performatively washes the biggest, heaviest dish he can find while everyone watches, hoping to inspire their better natures. But when that doesn't work...

Roommate: [Woken up suddenly as Kaladin drags them bodily out of bed at 5:00am] Roommate: What! What's going on??? Kaladin: [dragging him toward the kitchen] You are the biggest, meanest roommate I have and I'm going to MAKE you wash your dishes as an example to the others! Roommate: D-Does this make sense in a roommate situation?? Kaladin: I don't know what you mean. Kaladin [glowering at full power] Get. Washing.

[comingyourlugubriousness]

"Oh geez I'm so clumsy; how embarrassing! Huh, oh! You'll help me up? T-thank you!"

A BELLE OF DA BALL Yume for @starry-night-rose's Glimmering Soirée! I saw a lot of people doing this event and have been wanting to draw for it for awhile. Unfortunately, I've been sick the past week.

I went for a more femme design since my last two designs for Yume were more masculine; plus I just think dresses are more fun to draw. Heavily inspired by Cinderella's dress with my own takes.

During the event Yume isn't trying to be the belle of the ball themselves (that would be mortifying), they are actually heavily advocating for their brother Yuuta! (@bunnwich)

They are assisting the Prince's with their duties (mostly Deuce while avoiding Azul) while keeping and eye on Grim to make sure he's acting right! They're also taking pictures of everyone in their fancy clothes; partially bc Crowley told them too and partially for their own scrapbook.

VOICE LINES UNDER THE CUT:

Summon: You my friend, will be da belle of da ball!

Groovy: Everyone here tonight… don’t they kind of look like stars in the night sky…Hey! Don’t laugh! Haha! Was that too cheesy? 

Set Home: We’re all bedazzled up!

Home Idle: Azul tried to get me to sign some contract in order to” secure my brother's win”. Pff! Nice try, four eyes; do you think I’ve learned nothing?

Idle 2: When I walked up to Deuce and he gave me a big fancy greeting! He was so proud of himself; I didn’t have the heart to tell him he curtseyed at me…He’s not really cut out for princely stuff…

Idle 3: *whining* Kalim! Please don’t keep making me dance in these shoes! My feet are killing me *fake sob* who makes glass shoes anyway…

Idle Groovy:  Malleus came up to ask what was wrong with his Tamagotchi and everyone in the room gave us a wide berth. Is it that serious? He’s just some guy?

Home Login: Oh man…I don’t wanna think about how long it’s gonna take to clean all this glitter up. 

Tap: The Royal Sword Academy students keep coming up to greet me oh so politely. Something about it kinda gets on my nerves…

Tap 2: Hey, didja see Grim’s vest? I made it myself. It took me hours to bedazzle the whole thing!

Tap 3: Ugh…I feel like everyone's looking at me…maybe this outfit was a bad idea…

Tap 4: Hey, if you see Vil; don’t tell him I’m not voting for him. It’s nothing personal…! 

Tap 5: *sigh* I need a break. Hey, do you wanna go sit on the balcony with me? I’d prefer the company of the stars right now.

Tap Groovy: Oh! Wait right there! Let me get a picture of you in your outfit! You look amazing! Ready? Cheese!

Here is some sketchy draft for the dress too:

[cardo-de-comer]

Hi Cardo, I've just read on twitter that you've been ill lately and struggling with depression. I wanted to send you strength and I hope things get better for you soon.

I love your art so much and it always brings me joy to see your illustrations on my timeline. you're truly one of my favourite artists and I love your use of colour, I love your compositions, how intriguing your characters are... I don't know how to explain it, but it feels like there's an entire mythology behind every single one of your illustrations, and I find that fascinating.

I've had one of your illustrations as a wallpaper for my latpop for like a month now, and everytime I switch my laptop on to do work, it brings me joy because I see your beautiful art, even if I'm not motivated to do work. A few people sitting next to me in the library/other places have seen my screen and they've told me the illustration is really cool. Someone even asked me where I the illustration is from, so I know I'm not the only one who enjoys it.

Anyway, I truly hope you feel better soon. I struggle with anxiety myself, so I know those things don't magically go away, but at least I hope you can have easier days —more tolerable ones.

Stay safe and thank you for creating your art and sharing it with the world. Some of us really enjoy seeing it and it does make a difference :)

hey! well this kinda hit me like a truck but in a positive way. :_)

i don't even know how to thank you properly in a way that shows my gratitude, like i want to thank you for reaching out and writing all this and i still cannot wrap my head around the fact that. there's people who look at my art like daily or it makes them feel things... it means a lot to me really, that's one of the reasons to try and not give up just yet. i don't like sharing my mental problems online bc i figured that's not what ppl wanna see but sometimes it's getting so bad i stop caring for a moment. it was a rough month and idk if it's getting better but i always find some escape in art. as i said before, i won't stop drawing until the end and i feel like it's worth it when i hear from someone that they really like what i do. idk where i'm going with this, my brain is fried today with meds and i start to ramble but once again thank you for your words and i hope you have a nice week <3

[radkindoffeminist]

I am 13 years old. I have boobs bigger than any other girl in my year and I stopped growing in height a year ago. People tell me I could pass for 16-18 easily. Girls ask what size I am. Boys mock me for having tits. Men hit on me. Most people think I am a lot older than I actually am. I am confused by everything.

I am 14 years old. I begin turning to online chatrooms and camsex for attention because I am so lonely and horny. I don't speak about them to anyone in my life because it's never spoken about. Women and girls don't have sexual desires. I start speaking to a guy, Glenn. He's 28-years-old and knows how old I am. I speak to him for years and he's the first guy I camsex with. He speaks to me like a person and not a child and I love him for that. One day, he doesn't respond and I never hear from him again, but spend weeks hoping that I will see another message from him (he had a habit of disappearing for weeks only to come back). He doesn't message again. My heart is broken.

I am 15 years old, just about. I continue using these online chatrooms because I am such a lonely teenager and need some sort of attention and this is the only place I can find it. I meet a guy, David, who I ask to be my boyfriend. He was 21 years old. We speak every day for a month and have camsex all the time. He is sweet and mature and has his own car! Our plans to meet fall through and then he suddenly stops talking to me one day. Two months after that day, he messaged me again. His grandmother died so he couldn't deal with life. I feel empathic towards him but feel forced to take him back. When I realise that he won't take responsibility for the fact that cutting me off for months hurt me because he says that he was hurt, I break up with him. He insists on staying friends. I agree because I still feel bad for him.

I am 16 years old. I start college and I'm still speaking to my ex David, but then I see how possessive he is of me. He wants to meet up with me but will only do so on his terms, when he can kiss me all he wants because he still sees me as his. I try and speak to him about the guys at my college and he gets jealous. I stop speaking to him. I begin to realise just how toxic him and these chatrooms and camsex all is. I make a vow to stop it for my mental health, but it is hard to stop something when what draws you there is the fact that you're incredibly lonely.

I am 17 years old. It has been three years since I first opened a chatroom and had camsex and I actively try to stop. I have spoken to dozens, if not hundreds, of men by this point and they are all the same: they want to use me and will put on a little play to ensure they can get me. Some are just nice and upfront with me, using me and then never speaking to me again. Some put on a show, pretending that they like/love me so I become wrapped around their finger. Some are kind and caring, but then threaten me when they realise that they won't get what they want. Too many of them are angry when they hear the word no and if they aren't straight up agressive towards me, then they're making me feel guilty for having boundaries or trying to convince me to break them because they're different from the rest. I've met dozens of men who've claimed that they're different from the rest but they never are. They're all the same. After so many times of promising myself to stop, what really gets me to stop was someone threatening to share naked photos of me he'd taken while we were on a video call on my Facebook. I block him. I realise just how manipulated I'd been over the years and come to accept the fact that most, if not all, of these men had taken photos without my permission and some probably still have them saved somewhere.

I am 18 years old. I have managed to mostly stay away from the chatrooms and camsex, but I ended up speaking to one more guy. He seems so lovely and kind and caring. He is 26-years-old. We live far apart but he promises that he'll come and visit me sometime, even though he dodges the question every time I ask and never seems to be around or available when I'm available. We talked on and off for months. One day I tell him that I've decided to completely give up on camsex. It is too toxic and traumatic for me. I never want to do it again. He stops talking to me. I slowly realised how he was just nice to me because he wanted camsex and nudes. He never loved me but I loved him.

I am 19 years old. I start dating my ex-boyfriend. He is a genuinely wonderful and kind person. He does not disrespect my boundaries regarding camsex and nudes. He used to do a similar thing and understands how toxic and horrible these spaces can be. He's a good person, other than the fact that he mocks my interest in feminism and occasionally breaks some boundaries. We stay together for a year before we end up drifting apart.

I am 20 years old. I have severe depression. For the first time in my life, while I am incredibly drunk, I talk about my ex David and all the camsex stuff. I feel a weight lift off my shoulders knowing that other people agree that I was groomed. I had convinced myself for years that I was not groomed because I asked him out so everything that happened to me was my own fault. But I realise that while I was a stupid teenager, it still wasn't right for men to take advantage of me. I learn to accept that camsex and nudes will always be a point of trauma for me and something that I can never do again. I am so proud of myself for not doing it for two years.

I am 21 years old. I am the same age my ex David was when I dated him. I look at the freshers at my university and I couldn't imagine dating someone who is just out of college (high school). I had realised some years earlier that my relationship was toxic and pedophilic but it took me getting to the same age he was to realise just how horrible it was. I wish I could warn so many other women but I know I have to live with it because I was that teenage girl who dated that older man so I know that every single one thinks that they're the exception to the rule. They think that there's no way they're getting groomed by and older man because they really are that mature. I wish I could tell them but they'll just run into their groomer's arms even more.

I am 22 years old. I am off anti-depressants and glad that my sex drive is back. I decide that now, post COVID, would be the perfect time to have some fun. I sleep around, but the sex is so unsatifying for me most of the time. The women are good but the men spent five minutes inside of me and are then done. Half of them don't do anything to make me cum and never ask if I have. One of them complains that I take ages to cum after spending two minutes rubbing me off (badly). After feeling guilty for cancelling something last minute, I end up hooking up with someone who I shouldn't have. I cannot remember the last time I felt so repulsed by someone's touch. I stop hooking up with people. For the first time in years, I broke my no nudes, no camsex rule. I feel awful about myself.

I am 23 years old. I realise that my hooking-up with people phase was just a copy of my camsex stage. I realise that the men I hooked up with used the exact same tactics as the men I had camsex with: seemed like nice people so they could use me; got angry at me when I said no to them because they felt entitled to whatever they wanted for being nice to me; and thought that they could drop me for weeks at a time because I will always come running back to them. Sometimes I feel so assured in myself because I have spent years learning about all the maipulation tactics that they all use and because I can say no to them when they try to guilt me; sometimes I feel like that same 14 year old girl who ignored every red flag that she ever saw because she was so deperate for love and attention from anyone.

I am 24 years old. I am 2 years younger than my ex Sam was when I dated him and 4 years younger than Glenn was when I started talking to him. I look at the 18-20 year olds in our office and they are basically children to me. If I feel this way now, how much creepier will it feel when I actually hit 26 or 28? I tell people I have no interest in men and for the first time in my life I truly mean it. I stopped dating them years ago but all interest in them is gone now. Sometimes people tell me that I just haven't met the right man yet. I shrug it off but I want to scream at them. I have met dozens of men who have told me that they're different to the rest but they are all the same in the end. The right man doesn't exist.

[kissorkill16]

Mr. Peterson's Guest: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Nicky's been in the basement for a while now, and he seems to have lost more than his freedom.

Gift for @averagenickyrothfan

Trinity woke up, rubbing her temple. It hurt like hell. The first thing she saw was a window, she immediately got up and ran to it, but her hopes had been smashed to bits when she found out it was all just a charcoal drawing.

Just then, everyone else woke up, rubbing their temples.

"Where the hell are we?", Maritza asked.

"I don't know, but I don't like it! I don't want to die in here!", Ivan screamed.

Trinity ran to console Ivan, wrapping her arms around him. Everyone jumped up when they heard another voice.

"Guys! You're here!"

In the corner of the room, they saw Nicky. Nicky had been missing for weeks, Trinity knew he was down here in Mr. Peterson's basement, because she had helped him come in here. She couldn't do much from her room, and she knew if she told anyone, no one would believe her.

Trinity ran to Nicky and wrapped her arms around him.

"Nicky! Oh my God! Thank goodness you're okay! We were so worried!", she cried into his shoulder. She jumped back when she saw the giant laceration on her friend's arm.

"Your arm..."

"Oh, this? Yeah, one of my escape plans failed, and I accidentally cut myself. Mr. Peterson promised me he'd clean it, but I guess he forgot."

Maritza rolled her eyes. She tore off a piece of her shirt and wrapped it around Nicky's arm. "I know it won't do much, but it'll stop the bleeding."

"Thank you so much, Maritza."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Enough chit chat!", Trinity said. "We have to get out of here! Everyone start looking for a way out!", she ran to the door and started twisting the knob as hard as she could.

"No. Trinity, I don't want to leave."

Everyone turned to Nicky in shock.

"I don't want to leave the basement. I'm safe here, everything's okay."

"Nicky, everything is NOT okay. You've been missing for weeks, and people are starting to get worried.", said Enzo.

"Did anyone put up missing posters?"

"No."

"Were there any search parties?"

"No."

"Did either of my parents go crying to the police trying to find me?"

"Not that I know of."

"That doesn't sound like people are worried.", Nicky said. "They're all happy I'm gone. I don't blame them, though. I was such a jerk, I was a bad boy. Down here, I can be a good person. I have a playmate, and they're really nice as long as I play games with them."

Trinity was so fucking confused.

"But Mr. Peterson -"

"Is such a great caretaker. He's been feeding me, and he only let me out of the basement to go to the bathroom or when he wanted to make renovations. I know that sounds crazy, but I got used to it."

"Nicky, you're not making any sense!"

"He's just a lonely old man who just wants a family, and he thinks I'm the perfect candidate. It makes sense since I've been stalking him and breaking into his house for the past few months."

"But -"

"And you guys are here with me! That makes it even better! Now I'm not alone!"

Trinity grabbed Nicky by the shoulders and shook him aggressively. "Nicky! He's clearly broken you! Don't you remember? He's not a lonely old man, he's a fucking psychopath!"

Nicky pushed Trinity away. "Don't say that! If you guys want to leave here, then go for it! But I'm not leaving."

"Oh yes you are.", Maritza said before hitting Nicky over the head with a loose board.

Nicky fell over, now unconscious. Trinity hoisted the boy over her shoulder, like she was going to carry him.

"We have to get out of here."

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Five

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes), mentions of drugs (weed) word count: 3.3k a/n: the italics are a flashback to allie and layla in their gym class btw! love you guys <3

pov: layla

I decided to stay home from school for the rest of the week, I just didn't have the energy to endure the looks people would give me. The whispering during my last two subjects after Matt and I came back at lunch was already too much and it was worse in gym when Allie stuck to her word and paired up with me.

She seemed nice, much nicer than Mia was to me. She talked my ear off the whole lesson but I didn't mind because then I didn't have to talk.

"Don't worry about Mia, by the way. She can be really bitchy at times but she just doesn't like change. I promise she is usually a lot nicer," Allie rambled as we walked around the gym as a warm-up, "It was kinda funny though. No one ever really stands up to her when she gets bitchy because everyone's scared that her dad will arrest them."

Oh, I've met her dad.

"Matt also stood up for you after you left. I trust Matt's opinion on people, he's kinda my scapegoat when it comes to talking to people. I told him to start talking to you like three weeks ago so I could ask you to hang out. I just get nervous talking to people I don't know sometimes."

You don't seem nervous now, motor mouth.

"Sorry if I'm rambling a lot. I'm just really glad you decided to pair up with me because I've been paired with Mia for like the past 2 years. It's nice to have a new friend. It's not like I don't like my friends but Mia is my only girl friend and the guys are such guys sometimes it drives me mad. You get your nails done?"

I shook my head no before she continued, "We should go get our nails done sometime. My shout of course, I'm not gonna force you to get your nails done as well as make you pay."

She was a ray of sunshine and I was sure people were confused as someone as sweet as her was talking to someone like me who looked like they had a constant rain cloud over their head. I found myself amused by her rambling and I decided that it wouldn't be the worst thing to talk to her every now and then.

I spent the rest of my week smoking weed when my father wasn't home and drawing on the last few pages of my sketchbook. The time passed quickly considering I slept for most of the days. Suddenly it was Friday afternoon and I heard a knock at my front door.

I paused my music, frowning when I looked at the clock to see it was 3:30. It was far too early for my dad to be home so I grabbed the metal bat that was lying on the bottom of my underwear drawer, sneaking towards the door silently. Another round of light knocks were placed on the door and I crept up to it before looking through the peephole.

My tense shoulders slumped as I looked at two people with the same face and their familiar brown hair. I unlocked the deadbolt on the door as well as the regular lock before I swung the door open.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, leaning my left hand on the handle of the bat now that the other end was placed on the floor.

"Hi to you too," Chris mumbled as he looked side to side, clearly tense to be in South End as Matt smiled at me.

"I figured you would forget about the game. Decided to come earlier in case you were ready which..." he looked down at my outfit which was my small sleep shorts and an old ratty t-shirt, "I don't think you are?"

"You didn't say it was this Friday!" I frowned and Chris looked down at the bat I was leaning on before shaking his head.

"Good thing I came early then," Matt smirked at me and I chewed at my lip. I tapped the bat on the ground as I thought making Chris look at me again.

"Calm down. I'm not gonna use it on you," I deadpanned to Chris and he just shrugged, looking back out at the street. I felt a nervousness in my chest because they were at my house but I knew if they stayed on the porch or in their car, someone would try something. So I reluctantly said, "Come in."

"We can wait in the ca-"

I cut off Matt quickly, "Get inside now." They looked at each other in surprise before shuffling past me and I closed the door behind them before saying, "Do you have anything valuable in your car? Phone, wallet, laptop?"

They both shook their heads and I locked both of the locks on the door before I spun around to face them again.

"Why?" Chris asked and I tilted my head, giving him an unimpressed look.

"I'll just say you're lucky you drive a fucking soccer mom car or it would be broken into within 15 minutes," I answered blandly and they seemed somewhat shocked but didn't talk, "Come on."

I walked down the hall towards my room, slipping inside and they followed shortly behind me.

"We could've waited on the couch," Matt said as I closed the door of my bedroom and raised my eyebrows.

"If my dad came home and you were sitting on the couch, say goodbye to hockey for the rest of your life," I replied dryly and he pursed his lips, "If he comes home, you will just have to go out my window and jump the fence around the side of the house."

"You don't know when he's coming home?" Chris asked as he leaned against the wall beside my mattress and I shook my head. I was suddenly very conscious that I had the two most loved boys in our school standing in my dirty bedroom. I looked around my room, realising that I looked like I lived in a trap house with my mattress on the floor, empty beer bottles in the corner of my room with cigarettes stuck in them and clothes all over the floor.

"Sorry about the mess. No one ever comes over," I mumbled as I moved a couple clothes off of my mattress, "Sit wherever. Just don't look over here because I'm gonna get changed."

I travelled to the corner of my room where my chest of drawers sat and I saw them both turn to face away from me quickly. After placing the bat beside the drawers, I pulled out black baggy jeans, took off my shorts quickly and slid them on. I then took off my old T-shirt and slid on a baby blue hoodie. I didn't bother putting on a shirt since it would be cold at the game and I wouldn't have to take my hoodie off at any point.

"I'm dressed," I let them know as I grabbed my boots off of the floor, sitting down next to my dresser so I could slide them on easily. I looked up to see both of them sitting on my mattress, looking around my room. Their expressions were unreadable as they looked around my room.

"I like your posters," Chris spoke up and I looked to the wall above my mattress where my Bob Marley, Frank Ocean and Kurt Cobain posters were hung.

"Thanks," I answered, a half-hearted smile being sent his way which he reciprocated, "When do we have to leave by?"

"Four," Matt answered and I nodded, checking the time to see it was 3:40. I hopped off of the floor, walked over to my desk and sat down on the old desk chair.

I scribbled some eyeliner on my eyes before smudging it with my finger and then putting mascara on. I grabbed my lip balm, placing it on my lips before I ran a hand through my curly hair. I grabbed the white beanie that was thrown onto the floor, sliding it onto my head. I jumped up from the seat, grabbed my leather jacket that was hanging over the back of the chair and slid it on.

"Do I need to bring anything?" I asked, having no clue what else to bring to a hockey game.

"Just your team spirit," Chris cheered sarcastically and I tilted my head with an amused look on my face.

"I'm not a cheerleader for a reason," I answered and he shrugged, a small smile on his lips.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't cheer when we win," he retorted and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm good as long as I'm not expected to start screaming 'Go Bats go!' like an idiot," I did a small jump when I said the slogan that I heard all the cheerleaders say proudly and Matt laughed in response as Chris shook his head with a smile.

"You wanna get food on the way?" Matt asked and I shook my head in response.

"I'm good, I just ate," I explained and he nodded, quickly checking his phone.

"We should probably go," he said, turning his phone to me to see that it was 3:55. I couldn't believe another 15 minutes had passed so quickly but I nodded. Making sure I had my phone, cigarettes, lighter and keys in my pocket, I swung the bedroom door open as Matt and Chris followed behind me. I unlocked the front door swinging it open and motioning for Chris and Matt to go outside.

They walked past me and walked to their car as I turned around to lock the door with my keys. After triple-checking the door, I wandered down the driveway to the minivan. I noticed that Matt was always the one to drive and Chris was seated in the passenger seat, phone already plugged into the aux.

I slid the back door open, jumping inside before I closed the door behind me. As I buckled myself in, Matt started the car and Chris played a song by Lil Skies.

"We good?" Matt asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror and I nodded before he spun around to look at me, "I didn't even have to remind you about your seatbelt, so proud."

"Start driving before I change my mind and go back to the comfort of my bed," I smiled slightly and he beamed back at me before he spun around and we took off down the street.

Within 5 minutes, we were in the parking lot and Chris was wriggling his body along to the beat of the next Lil Skies song. I could take a wild guess as to who his favourite artist is.

Matt turned the music down, earning a glare from Chris but he turned around to look at me ignoring his brother for a moment, "You waiting in the car or coming in?"

"I'm gonna have a smoke first then I'll come in," I explained and he nodded before turning off the car.

"You head in. I'll be there in a sec," Matt told Chris who was clicking away on his phone. With a nod, he jumped out of the car and walked around to the back of the car.

"You want me to take your shit inside?" Chris called from the trunk as I turned around to see Chris lugging his huge duffle bag full of hockey shit.

"Nah I got it," Matt called back to him and Chris raised his eyebrows as he leaned into the trunk again.

"Don't start fuckin in the car or I swear to god," he deadpanned before slamming the trunk closed and I saw him start walking towards the building.

"Sorry about him," Matt mumbled apologetically and I shrugged as I turned to face him.

"It's fine. Wouldn't expect anything less," I told him with an amused smirk making him shake his head, a smile creeping onto his lips, "Are you gonna go inside?"

"I'll wait for you to finish and then I'll show you where to sit inside," he explained and I nodded before hopping out of the car. I closed the door behind me before leaning against the car, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between my lips before lighting it. I heard Matt's door open and close before he rounded the car to get to the trunk.

As I began smoking my cigarette, a car pulled into the space next to Matt's and a few moments passed before Nate and Allie appeared out of the car.

"Hey! Matt told me you were coming," Allie beamed at me and I observed her outfit, feeling strange to see her out of her usual cheer or gym attire. Instead, she had blue jeans, a black puffer jacket with a blue beanie on and black and white vans.

"He failed to mention the game was this Friday," I told her and she rolled her eyes as Nate waved at me. I sent him a wave back with the hand that held my cigarette before I took another puff.

"Is Nick coming?" Nate asked and Matt appeared beside me, duffle bag over his shoulder.

"Nah. He said something about doing homework tonight. Chris is already inside," Matt explained with a shrug as Nate rounded the back of his car and popped the trunk open, grabbing a duffle bag of his own hockey gear.

"You coming in?" Allie asked me and I held the cigarette up.

"When I finish this," I told her, a smile tugging at my lips at her beaming personality.

"See you guys in there!" Nate called as he started walking towards the building with Allie following behind him.

"Is Miss Cheer herself coming?" I asked Matt once Allie and Nate were out of earshot and he shrugged, moving to stand in front of me as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

"No clue. She usually shows up late if she comes though," he told me honestly and I nodded, noticing my cigarette almost being done. I quickly finished it before dropping it onto the ground and squishing it underneath my foot. I went to push away from the car but Matt stopped me by saying, "Hold up."

"What?" I asked, confusion written on my face. He held his hand up before he dropped his duffle bag to the ground and squatted down to rummage through one of the smaller pockets.

He pulled out a small pot of black face paint and a brush before standing back up, "Move your hair."

"What are you doing?" I squinted at him as he opened the pot of black face paint and he smiled at me.

"Just trust me," he shrugged and I squinted my eyes at him for a moment before I tucked my hair behind my ears. I tilted my head back as I peered up at him and he dipped the brush into the pot before he started painting my right cheek.

"If you're drawing a dick on my face I'll kill you with my bare hands, Matthew," I mumbled, trying not to move my mouth much as his tongue poked out between his lips in concentration.

"If I was gonna do that..." he trailed off before leaning back with a smile, "I'd use a sharpie."

"What did you do?" I asked and he just shrugged as he closed the pot again, sliding it back into his bag before swinging it over his shoulder again. I slipped my phone out of my pocket, opening the front camera to see he had painted the number 81 on my cheek, "What does this mean?"

"You'll see," he shrugged with a smirk and I frowned as he started to walk backwards before he tilted his head towards the building, "Come on. I gotta warm up."

I pushed away from the car, trailing behind him as we walked towards the entrance. He swung the door open, standing behind it as he let me walk in first. We walked through the front area, some of his teammates being gathered around to grab snacks or energy drinks.

"Matty B!" one of the guys called who I recognised as Daniel and he jogged over to us as Matt paused, dapping him up quickly, "Who's this?"

"Layla, Daniel. Daniel, Layla," Matt introduced us and I just nodded at Daniel, not surprised that he didn't know my name.

"No Mia?" he asked Matt and Matt just shrugged in response.

"She's being weird. I don't know dude," Matt answered before he looked towards the rest of their team, "You guys gotta hurry up. We have 45 to warm up."

"Sir, yes, sir," Daniel sent Matt a salute before he started walking backwards and looked at me, "Nice to meet you, princess."

I sent him another nod before Matt started walking towards the doors of the rink, "Ignore Dan. He'll try to fuck anything with legs."

"Don't worry, Captain. I don't do goalies," I smirked and he chuckled in response, holding the door open to the rink for me to enter first again. I walked in, the cold air hitting my cheeks making me shiver.

"Layla!" I heard Allie's chirpy voice call out from the bleachers and I looked to my left to see her sitting front and centre, I sent her a small wave as I started to walk over to her with Matt following behind me.

"I gotta go get ready but are you good to sit with Allie?" Matt asked me and I turned my head to look at him now that he was on my right and I nodded.

"Yeah. Go make sure your hair is nice before you play," I joked as he rolled his eyes, pushing my shoulder slightly before spinning around to walk backwards while I paused at the steps that led up to where Allie was seated, "Break a leg, pretty boy."

"Thanks, pretty girl," he smirked at me and I bit my lip to hide my smile as he spun back around and walked into the locker room at the end of the rink. I shook my head to get rid of my smile as I walked up a few steps before sitting down next to Allie.

She smirked at me and I gave her a confused expression, "What?"

"Nothing," she hummed, her smirk turning into a smile as she looked out onto the ice. She pulled a packet of Sour Patch Kids out from her small handbag that I hadn't even noticed before she pulled open the packet, "You want one?"

"Sure," I shrugged, picking out a couple before throwing them into my mouth and her actions followed mine.

"So you and Matt..." she trailed off and I looked back at her as she smiled at me.

"Me and Matt?" I questioned, waiting for her to continue.

"You guys are cute," she shrugged, a genuine joy spread across her face and I let my mouth fall open.

"Uh... I don't even know if we're friends let alone anything else," I told her honestly and she rolled her eyes playfully before she hummed.

"Matt doesn't talk to just anyone. If he's asking you to come to his games clearly he wants you around," she told me as if it were obvious and I shrugged as I chewed on my lip. A few players from the other team skated onto the ice with their full gear, doing laps around the ice lazily.

"I don't think Chris and Nick like me though. His brothers' opinions probably mean a lot to him," I answered, looking at the players skating in circles. A couple players from Matt's team slid onto the ice as they started doing the same as the opposition.

"Chris is just focused on other shit. Nick tends to stick to himself a lot so just give them both time," she tried to reassure me and I looked back to her before she continued, "Besides, I like you so they're not getting rid of you that easily while I'm around."

"What about Mia?" I asked, genuinely curious as to how heavily Mia's opinion influenced her friends.

Allie sighed as she looked out at the rink, "Mia will figure it out. I don't know why she's being so weird about it. I think it's because she's protective over us."

"Matt's the one that came to me. I don't know why she was acting like I'm tryna break up your entire friend group," I mumbled as I looked out onto the ice to see a couple more players.

Only then did I realise that number 81 with a small C on the chest of his blue and white jersey was skating around the rink and it was none other than Matthew Sturniolo.

[fleouriarts]

remade the height lineup for jamie and co! it's been almost exactly 6 months since i made the original one, and omar and andre didn't even exist when i made it, so i figured it needed an update. also the original was made in one night (vs this being made in a week) and you can TELL

under the cut are individual pics for each of them with some design notes and such. tumblr also likes to crunch big images like this, for full size click here and here

originally finished 9-28-2024

JAMIE: biggest change is that im actually drawing him with a long ass linsang neck. i wanted him to be small so bad before that i forgot the most important linsang trait... this is also why he has gained 2 inches of height LOL

SANTIAGO: santiago got like 25% wider and his horns are more visible. i considered making a second unclothed ref for his look during the summer (all wool shaved except for the head), but i don't draw him like that very much. maybe later

JOHNNY: no changes. johnny is a perfect animal. i just finally have a full ref of her spots (at least from the front)

NULL: i completely changed their head shape to look like an actual siamese cat, and gave them 6 nipples like an actual cat. their original shirt had just a blue scribble (my usual shorthand when i'm drawing from a ref and don't feel like drawing a shirt design) but i decided they deserve an actual shirt design now. i tried a cat skull at first and then i thought to do cartoon fish bones instead and fell in love with it

ARGYLE: argyle's face spots became more pronounced, his mane is bigger, his bigass robe has only yellow stripes now, and i changed the colors on his pants a bit. a character change that comes with this is that he is now a journalism student instead of fashion. he was originally a fashion student so him, jamie, and santiago would all have to interact (since they're all in the arts at their college). however developing argyle more made me think he would care way more about comfort than looking good when it comes to his clothes. also the son of a lawyer and a history professor going into journalism just makes sense to me

OMAR: omar wasn't on the original lineup, but when compared to my first drawing of her, i just made her fatter with a longer neck. and now i have a good ref of his spots! i've also decided they have hyperestrogenism, no clue if it's caused by an underlying syndrome like aexs or not. either way she has gynecomastia and hypogonadism because of it

ANDRE: andre straight up didn't have a color ref before now cus i mostly drew her in my sketchbook. i just forced myself to figure out his markings and give him a "default" outfit (i really liked the one i drew him in here so that's his default now). also i have decided she does not wear wigs anymore she's just a cool bald bitch

overall i think i just got better at drawing furries ^__^ a lot of it comes down to just thinking harder about their anatomy. you may notice that the new drawing has the carnivorans (jamie null argyle and andre) as plantigrade at rest now instead of digitigrade. part of this is because i went and looked at my zootopia artbook to study it and that's how they do it. another part of it is that when you look at plantigrade vs digitigrade legs (unguligrade is here too i guess):

the entirety of the paw on a digitrade animal is homologous to just the toes on a plantigrade one. do you want to stand on your toes all day? does that sound fun to you? HELL NO!!!!!! unguligrade animals stand on their toenails but they're weirdos we don't have to talk about them

anyway enough of my rambling cheers to you if you read this far. if you're an aspiring furry artist you might find it fun to learn some irl animal anatomy to help you w your drawings, like looking at skulls/full skeletons and stuff. or maybe it'll just frustrate you. i'm a biology student so this is enriching for me. have a nice day

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- part 8

Masterlist

Part of me was hoping that the hate would slow down a bit but of course it didn't. Every time I checked any form of social media all I saw was people posting about how much they didn't like me and assuming that I'm only friends with Pablo to gain something. I thought I'd be able to handle the comments but I just can't there has been so many more than I thought there would be and people have said such hurtful things about my appearance and my character. Pablo keeps apologising and asking if I'm ok and I just keep telling him I'm fine which is a bit of a lie but I can tell he already feels bad enough I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him how I really feel. The worst part about it is that everyone seems to be drawing attention to the things I was already insecure about which hasn't helped my mental state at all.

Today though I have a chance to cheer myself up a bit as I have a big check up with my doctor to see how my recovery is progressing. I think it's going pretty good so hopefully he agrees and says something positive as that would really lift my spirits. I've been nervous about the appointment today as well which has really made the last few days even more challenging on my mental health but I'm trying to stay positive as I know wallowing in sadness and anxiety won't do me any good. 

Alonso came to pick me up a bit before my appointment; when I got in the car I expected him to tease me about everything that happened with the game this weekend but he didn't instead he asked if I was ok. I was going to lie to him too but because he's my brother he knows exactly when I'm lying so I had to tell him the truth. It was kind of nice to get all of my feelings off my chest and Alonso was really supportive and gave me some good advice. He's been through things like this before with getting hate for his performances out on track so he told me to just delete the apps off my phone for a bit that way I'm not tempted to look at what people are saying. In fact he stole my phone and did it for me as I think he knew I probably wouldn't do it myself. 

Once I had my phone back I went into the hospital on my own leaving Alonso to wait in the car for me. The wait for my appointment wasn't long at all and then I went in and was immediately taken for some new scans to see how everything was healing. After scans I was subjected to a load of tests on my range of movement, how much weight I could put on my leg and how much pain I was in. The testing was rigorous and honestly quite exhausting as it's been a long time since I've done this much movement with my knee but for the most part it felt good. After I had done everything the doctor left for a while to review it all and look at my scans which left me just staring at the wall hoping to hear good news. Just as I was daydreaming the door opened again and the doctor came back in, his expression was impossible to read which for some reason filled me with a few more nerves.

"Ok Lola things aren't progressing as we would like them too internally you aren't healing as quick as we thought you would and your movement isn't at the range we would expect it to be" he said 

"What does that mean?" I asked holding back tears 

"For now it doesn't mean too much this can happen as we can't always accurately predict how quickly people will recover but we will set another one of these appointments in a few weeks and if we aren't seeing improvement you may need a second surgery so that we can see what's going on" the doctor explained 

"Ok" was all I could manage to say 

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but don't let it discourage you if you keep working hard you won't need the surgery" he said 

We scheduled my next appointment and that was as long as I could hold it together. All of my emotions that I'd been holding onto for the last few days came out all at once, as soon as I left the hospital doors I burst into tears and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I made my way back to where Alonso parked but before I could get into the car Alonso had got out and wrapped me in his arms. He tried to get me to stop crying and tell him what was wrong but I just couldn't he tried everything to help me all of which had worked before but today nothing could stop me. Eventually he gave up and let me get in the car so we could go home because right now all I want is to just go home and get to grips with my emotions as I clearly have a lot to process. 

As much as my eyes were filled with tears I could tell that Alonso didn't take the turn to take me back to my place which meant he was going to take me somewhere in hopes of cheering me up. I really didn't want to go wherever it was he was planning to go but I was sobbing too much to tell him to take me home. We went a bit further before the car stopped and I looked round a bit as at first I didn't recognise where we were but then I saw Pablo's house and realised we were just down the street. I should've known Alonso was going to bring me here but this is the last place I want to be I don't want Pablo to see me like this. I knew we said we would help each other out but I know for a fact Pablo is doing better and I know he's in a better place mentally and I don't want to ruin that by projecting my problems onto him that wouldn't be fair. 

Alonso had to practically drag me out of the car and down the road which was rather easy for him as I'm not strong enough to put up too much of a fight. We walked down the street to Pablo's house where Alonso left me to ring the doorbell, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't be in even though he said he had no plans today. Of course after just a few seconds the door opened and I locked eyes with Pablo who straight away rushed over as quick as he could and wrapped me up in his arms. I wanted to stop crying but for some reason I only cried more once I was in Pablo's arms it was like he made me feel safe enough to truly let all of my feelings out. Pablo said a few words to my brother before taking me inside and allowing him to leave. 

Pablo took me to the sofa and allowed me to settle into his embrace with my head buried in his chest so he couldn't see my tear stained and probably red and puffy face. His hand was gently stroking my back trying to calm me down while he whispered comforting words in my ears. It wasn't anything special what he was doing but hearing his words and feeling his hands on me did wonders in helping calm my emotions which I didn't have any control over. As my tears began to slow down Pablo kept rubbing my back and he even wiped some of the tears from my face that he could reach as I was still hiding most of my face. I never would've thought he would be so good at comforting me I mean he's always so hyper and full of energy I never imagined that he'd be any good at keeping calm and radiating that onto others but clearly he is. Once I had completely stopped crying and my breathing was getting back to normal Pablo put a hand under my chin and got me to look at him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you so upset and I want to help" he said 

"The doctor said my knee isn't healing properly and I might need another surgery if things don't get better" I said still sniffling slightly 

"I'm sorry that sounds awful but that's not the only thing on your mind is it" he probed further 

"No that's it" I lied 

"Don't lie to me please just tell me what's wrong I'll do whatever I can to help and I won't judge you you know that" he said 

Damn why doesn't he have to be able to read me like a book.

"Ok I've been getting a lot of hate since we were seen together at the game and it's been getting to me a bit I thought I could handle it as I'm used to criticism but I can't some people are just so mean" I admitted letting a few more tears fall 

"I knew it was getting to you people on social media are assholes because they don't feel the consequences of what they say but none of what they say is true" he said 

"But they keep talking about how I must be using you or how I don't deserve to even be friends with you which that part is kind of true" I rambled 

"No it's not true I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you I love spending time with you just because you aren't famous doesn't mean you don't deserve to be friends with me and despite what they say I know you aren't using me I know you would never do that" he said 

"And before you say anything all of the things they say about your appearance aren't true either you are beautiful inside and out and they are just jealous" he added 

Hearing him say that put a smile on my face. Pablo has never really complimented me before he's told me my outfit was cool a few times but he's never called me beautiful so hearing it made me feel a lot better about myself. He must've noticed that I was finally smiling again as he told me I looked pretty when I smiled which only made my cheeks heat up but luckily my face was already red from crying so Pablo probably wouldn't have noticed. Although I kind of wish he knew how he made me feel because as time goes on it's getting harder and harder to hide my true feelings from him. 

Pablo's POV

The pain in her eyes just shattered my heart. She's been my rock throughout every step of the way so far so to see her breakdown right in front of me really hurt. This whole time she's been the strong one never letting anything get to her but finally it's caught up with her and part of it's my fault because we got seen together at the game and now people are tearing her apart and one person can only handle so much. I feel so awful that I'm part of the reason she's so upset but knowing that I can be there for her and calm her down makes me feel a bit better. When she arrived she was hysterical and her brother told me he couldn't get a word out of her so he wanted me to try so that's what I did. I'm not very good at keeping myself calm at times let alone other people but I tried my best and after a while of just rubbing her back and whispering to her she calmed down. It felt good to be the one to help her because she's done so much for me that anything I can do to even remotely repay that I'll do in a heartbeat.

Hearing the way she criticised herself as well it pained me. She's the most beautiful and kind person I've ever met so to hear her say that she thought she didn't deserve to be friends with me hurt but what hurt more was to see that those horrible people got to her and made her feel insecure in herself. Throughout the time we've known each other I've always wanted to tell her just how beautiful she is but I've refrained as I know once I open the flood gates there's no going back. Once I start complimenting her I'm scared that I'll let my feelings show but today she needed it so I knew I had to take the risk. Seeing the smile that my compliments gave her made the risk feel worth it though as I'd do anything to keep her smiling 24/7.

Looking into her eyes as she smiled and blushed at my words made me feel some type of way. I've felt something for her since we first met and I've kept those feelings repressed until now but I don't know if I can do it any longer. She's just the most perfect girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose her whether that be to another guy or to the fear of what us being friends might mean for her. I have to tell her how I feel in hopes that as long as she feels the same way it gives her a reason to stick around even when things are tough like they are right now. As scary as it is I have to take the risk. 

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 37

She had admitted it. Out loud. To a stranger. She said I was her girlfriend, I think to myself while I lay sprawled out on my bed.

"I'm her girlfriend..." I whisper out loud, trying to make it sound real. It is so hard to grasp that I'm officially dating one of the hottest, prettiest, most stunning girls I've ever met in my life.

I roll over in bed to lay on my side. I tuck my hands under my head and stare towards my bedroom window. I have no curtains, so it's a nice clear view outside. The darkness of the outdoors is only relieved by the shine of the full moon and many stars speckled across the sky. The whole night has been replaying in my head, over and over. I've never experienced such a magical night before or one as eventful.

Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian weren't mad that we ditched their performance and understood we did what we had to do. They were just glad Haley was alright and that I gave that guy a lesson.

Nearly the whole town is scared of me and doesn't want to get on my bad side now that they heard of what I did. But, of course, I would never punch anyone unless they were deserving of it. Lots of people aren't going to even think of disagreeing with Haley if I'm around now.

The next morning, I go to do my usual routine. Water the crops, check the chickens, then the mailbox. I don't have nearly as many crops now due to it being fallen and many of my summer crops died off. I never did plant some of this season's crops, but there are a few of the things I really wanted. Plus, I don't have a lot of room on this farm anymore due to me going a bit overboard with my project. It's extended way past the point I planned for it to be. I'm going to have to invite Haley over soon before autumn ends and it all dies off.

I rush inside to write a quick note that I'll leave in Haley's mailbox sooner than later, but when I check my own mailbox, there is yet another letter from Mayor Lewis.

Dear Danny,

One week from today, we are holding the Stardew Valley Fair in the town square!

It's the biggest event of the year, drawing people from all across the country to our humble town.

If you'd like, you can set up a grange display for the event. Just bring up to 9 items that best showcase your talents. You'll be judged on the quality and diversity of your display.

The fair starts at 9 AM... don't miss it!

-Mayor Lewis

"Are you fucking kidding me. I already had a hard enough time picking out one thing for the Luau, now I have to pick nine different things? My Yoba!" I shouted defeatedly, shaking my head in exasperation. I CANNOT catch a break in this town.

But then an idea pops into my head. Last time I had Elliot, Leah, Haley, and Emily help me pick out the items...this time I should get everyone involved. It will be a cute, fun hangout that gets everyone involved and helping if they'd like to.

I ran back inside to start writing invites to put in everyone's mailbox. I have no idea who I am meant to be competing with, so I'm going to be nice and write one for everyone to start. I don't really care if I give away what items I'll be displaying, I just want to have fun and host an event for everyone to participate in. It'll kind of be like my "Thank you for welcoming me into your town" kind of thing.

After each letter has been addressed and folded neatly, I burst out my front door and set off around the town to deliver each note to everyone. My route will start up at the mountains to Robin's place first, and then I'll make my way down to Haley and Emily's place last for no particular reason.

I was up early enough that nobody was awake yet for the majority of my journey. I was able to sneak around town with no one bothering me about what I was doing thankfully. I did take long enough though that by the time I reached Haley and Emily's house, Emily was awake and answered the door when I knocked. I knew that meant Haley should be up now as well, which means I planned my timing perfectly.

"Hey Danny. What brings you here?" Emily greets me.

"I was hoping to invite you and Haley to my place tomorrow to help me gather things to display for the fair. I Invited the whole town to make it a big event, but having you guys there would make it the best," I explain.

As I was explaining, I kept trying to look behind Emily to see Haley. However, she does not make an appearance.

"We would love to go! That is such a good idea to get everyone involved. I'm sure the town would love to do something like that at your farm..."

"But?" I could sense uncertainty in Emily's voice that made me think she was going to say something contradictory.

"But Haley doesn't seem to be feeling so well today. It's hard to say if she will be feeling better tomorrow. The... uhhhh...girlhood fairy paid her a visit this morning if you catch my drift."

"Ahhh I see. Can I come in and see her, or is she not in the mood?" I awkwardly twist my fingers around, hoping Emily will say yes.

Instead, Emily just opens the door wider to let me in. I excitedly bounce my way inside and to Haley's room where I knock gently on the door.

"Emily, I told you to leave me alone for the day!" I hear her shout through the door to me.

"Um... it's actually Danny," I responded.

"Oh! Come in!" Her voice chippers up.

I push open the door to find Haley cozied up in her blankets in bed. Only her head is peaking up above the covers to see me enter.

Being a little too rough, I, for some reason, decided it would be a good idea to dive into bed with her. That causes Haley to groan and roll away from me.

"Oh I'm sorry Haley. I didn't mean to bother you," I utter sadly. "I was just wondering if you want to come over tomorrow and help pick out some display things for me for the fair next week? I invited everyone in town to make it a whole shebang, but if you aren't feeling well enough I understand." I rub my hand along her arm and then wrap her up in an embrace, making sure to put pressure on her lower stomach to help with cramps. I was also hoping my warmth will be helpful as well.

She seems to relax slightly after I do that for her, but she doesn't roll over quite yet. "I'll see how I feel tomorrow," Haley says as she starts scratching my hand that's holding her stomach gently. She takes a deep breath and leans into me.

I let her lay against me for a few minutes before giving her a kiss on her head and getting up.

"I've gotta get everything set up for tomorrow, but I really wish I could stay," I pout as I head for the door. Haley opens up her blanket, revealing a very sheer nightgown. It makes me stop in my tracks for a minute, taking in every aspect of her fine body. I start to involuntarily bite my lip and smirk as I think about staying. I snap out of it as I remember why she isn't feeling well in the first place.

"Hey, that's not fair. As tempting as it is, I'm no vampire," I chuckled as Haley sighs and tucked the blanket back around her.

"I guess I'll let you go then. I'll see you later Danny," she blows me a little kiss and goes back to wallowing in pain.

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

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Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[miss-celestial-being]

Kiss Me

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request | masterlist

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𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: steve harrington x fem/gn!reader

𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: you and steve make an arrangement

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: fake dating, unedited, bad writing (as always), good luck trying to make sense of any of it :)

𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3.3k words (the majority of this is probably the word book ngl)

𝑎𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠: i have no idea what the timeline is so dont ask. hope this is an acceptable comeback (also if youre confused abt the tags, everything i write is plus size reader bc i myself and plus sized but its never explicitly stated)

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Book in hand, you walk through the halls, bundled in a sweater to fight the autumn chill. Aiming for your cream-colored locker, you can see the stickers littering the metal as someone bumps into you from behind, forcing the book from your hands and making you lose your page. You swear as you begin to bend down to pick it up, bumping your head against the person in front of you. You both pull back, lifting a hand to touch the aching spot on your forehead.

"Shit, sorry." A masculine voice draws your gaze upward and you lock eyes. You see your book in his hand, held out between the two of you. You take it back slowly, frowning as you see a smudge on the pages and a dent in the corner. You look up in time to see his eyes widen, looking at something behind you, before he grabs your face in both his hands and presses his lips to yours.

You stand completely frozen and only dare to breathe once he pulls away completely, his hands still planted on your cheeks. "I'm really sorry," he whispers, his breath mingling in the air between you. You notice now that he smells like he just came from the cafeteria; He had pizza for lunch, you note. You finally will your body to move and you turn your head in time to see a girl staring at the two of you, her eyes focusing on a spot on the wall as soon as you catch her. You turn back to the boy in front of you and nod in understanding. "It's fine," You say. He lets out a seemingly relieved breath, the corners of his lips twitching up into a half-smile.

You notice it falter slightly, his eyes once again behind you, and you rise on your toes to kiss him again. You grab his neck with your free hand and your eyes catch before the space closes and you let yours shut tightly. His hands snake around your waist as your mouths mold together, and when he pulls away, you're both breathless. He looks behind you once more, to find that the girl is gone, and his eyes are back on you.

"Thank you. Really, thank you," he starts, "I broke up with her like over a month ago and she's been obsessed with me. Keeps trying to get back together." He looks down at you, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I, uh, I didn't catch your name." You let out a sudden snort and your face heats as you cover your mouth with your sleeve-covered hand. You tell him your name, doing your best to keep your voice even. "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Steve," He laughs softly as he speaks. A moment passes, your eyes not leaving his. "Hey, uhm, this might sound weird--I mean I don't even know you--so feel free to say no, but would you mind," He coughs, clearing his throat, "would you mind, maybe, pretending to be my girlfriend?"

You're face falls, eyes wide and lips opening and closing like a fish as you try to think of a way to respond. "Just for a little--a few weeks maybe. I just- I think this might be the longest I've gotten a moment of peace from you know who." You open your mouth again to reply and he interrupts again, "You know what, that was dumb, I'm sorry. Have a nice day." He turns to walk away and you grab his wrist before you lose the nerve.

"Okay," You say simply. "Okay?" "Okay. I'll do it." He looks as though he'll fall to his knees with gratitude as he thanks you repeatedly. You pull him to your locker, unlocking it quickly before you place your book inside and take out a piece of paper and a pen. You scribble something onto it quickly and hand it to him. "My phone number," you start, "I don't have my own line, so don't be alarmed if a grouchy old man picks up the phone; that's my dad." He takes it and nods, placing it in his letterman jacket's pocket. "We should probably talk about how this is gonna work, so call me. My dad usually blacks out by eight so the phone should be free then." You lean up to kiss his cheek, trying not to make it obvious how nervous you really are, how fast your heart's beating.

Before he can respond, you pick your book back up--being sure to get the textbook for Mr. Jones's class--and close your locker, rushing to class. You can feel his gaze on you as you walk away and the heat in your cheeks only grows.

When you finally make it through the door, the bell rings loudly. You collapse into your seat all the way in the back, next to your best friend. "Who got you all flustered like that?" He teases and you open your book--on a random page, thanks to Steve--in front of your face to hide. "Oh c'mon, hon," He says mockingly as he lowers your book to see your eyes. "Mister Munson, please stop pestering your peers," Mr. Jones says as he walks through the doors. The ever-dramatic math teacher loves to make an entrance. "Yeah, yeah, Jonesy," Eddie rolls his eyes animatedly, and Mr. Jones puts a tally mark under 'Eddie Antics', the count now at thirty-seven. "Keep this up, Mister Munson, and you'll catch up to last year's record." "One can only dream."

Mr. Jones starts the lesson of the day and Eddie turns to you, his voice hushed, "Who was it?" You shake your head, eyes trained on the board. "Oh come on." He says, his voice a bit too loud as Mr. Jones clears his throat. Eddie apologizes quietly, his eyes not leaving your embarrassed frame. "Was it a guy? A girl?" You huff. "Really? A girl?" His eyes widen, a Cheshire-like grin overtaking his face. You give him a bored look and his face falls, "So a guy?" When you fall further into your seat he rolls his eyes. "Who was it, then? What guy thinks he's worthy of my girl?" "Your girl?" You ask with a raised eyebrow. "Yes. You're mine; I've claimed you. I'm like a cat."

You sigh exasperatedly at his antics and Mr. Jones pauses mid-sentence to add a tally mark at the sound. "What?! Really, Jonesy?" Eddie asks, pouting like a toddler who just got told no. Mr. Jones responds by continuing his lesson from where he left off and Eddie groans, leaning back in his chair until it's balanced on two legs.

You laugh quietly and look at Eddie, who has now decided that puppy-dog eyes would get you to spill--he was right. "Fine," You huff, realizing he was probably gonna hear about the kiss eventually anyway, "It was Steve." His eyes widen like saucers and the chair leans back too far, making him fall to the ground with it. Mr. Jones sighs again, adding yet another tally mark to the board; There are now thirty-nine.

"Steve?!" Eddie whisper-shouts once he gets settled again. You ignore him, writing down the equations from the board and he groans again, "Fine, ignore me all you want. I'll get answers out of you sooner or later."

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You sigh as you pick up beer cans off the floor, keeping your steps light to not wake up the man currently passed out on the couch. You take the half-empty can from his hand and pour it out in the sink a few feet away. There really isn't enough space in these trailers. You watch the wasted money go down the drain and rub your tired eyes with your free hand. The only thing you want to do right now is lay down with a good book and read till the sun comes up, saying 'one more chapter' every time you finish one.

You don't have a chance to pick up your book as the phone's shrill ringing shakes the trailer. Your dad says something that sounds almost like a threat to the phone's life as you go to pick it up, extending the cord as far as it'll go so you can take the call in your room, the door shut. "Hello?" "Hey," the voice on the other side of the line says and you look at the clock next to your bed at the familiar sound. "Shit, I didn't realize it was already eight." "Is this a bad time? I can call back later, or you can call me when you're free?" You smile at his rambling. "No, no. We can talk now. I've just gotta keep it down so I don't wake up my dad. He's not fun to deal with when he's drunk, even less when you wake him up." "Yeah, I understand how that feels. Thankfully my parents are out of town." He mumbles something else you can't quite hear, but you aren't sure you're supposed to so you ignore it.

"Where do you live, I can drive you to school tomorrow." "No!" You wince at the loudness of your own voice, praying to whoever would listen that you didn't wake up your dad. It's not that you're ashamed of where you live, it's just that you don't want him making him feel like you're worth any less because you're not from some snooty rich area; you've heard about King Steve, what he's like. "Uhm, okay, I don't have to drive you. I just thought it'd make this ruse a bit more believable, y'know?"

"No, you're right, I'm sorry. I just... my dad might not be too pleased with a stranger pulling up to his house," You pause to think of the right words, "How about we meet at the library tomorrow morning?" "Sure thing, It'll give us time to practice our stories on the drive to school." "Stories?" You ask with a confused frown. "Yeah, like 'how we met', 'where our first date was', 'who fell first', that kinda stuff." "Are you expecting to get interrogated?" You hear him chuckle and you sigh, "We met at the fair, our first date was at the movies, and I fell first." There's silence on the other end like he's writing it down.

"Why didn't I fall first?" "You've seen me, right?" You joke, but you can hear his frown as he responds, "Yeah, and? You're gorgeous, I'd fall first any day." You feel a smile form on your face as you laugh out a response, "Thanks, but I think you can only fall first once." "My lack of grammar skills doesn't make what I said any less true." You're cheeks grow warm and you look down at your feet, "Thank you." "Of course. So, we met at the fair, our first date was--what if our first date was at the bookstore? You like books right?" "Oh, sure that works, I just thought you'd prefer the movies or something." "Cool, and then I fell first. Sound good?" "Yeah, sounds great." "Perfect, what time should we meet at the library?" You hum as you think, looking at the clock, then at your dad through the cracked door, "Does seven work? Or seven-thirty?" Based on the silence, you can tell he nodded to your question because a second later, he says, "Yeah, yup, seven works for me." "Great, well, goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow." "Oh, uh, okay. Yeah, goodnight." You frown at the sadness in his voice but before you can say anything the line cuts out.

You open your door to find your dad standing in front of the now-broken wall phone. You look down at the mess on the floor with a blank stare, drop the phone in your hand on top of the mess, and turn away to your room. "I'll pick up a new one tomorrow after school." You say as though it's second nature--it might as well be. He drunkenly mumbles something about not talking back before he collapses onto the couch. You close your door and open the window, picking up your book from your nightstand before you make your escape and hurry to Eddie's trailer next door. He opens the door before you can knock and you sit on the couch, opening your book to the page you left off at.

"So," Eddie starts, "Steve, huh?" You hum, nodding. "How'd that happen?" "We met at the fair." You hear Eddie shut the door, turning all three locks before he sits down beside you. "Where'd you go for your first date?" You huff out a laugh. You'd have to tell Steve he was right about the interrogation. "He took me to the bookstore. Now enough with the questions, please." He rolls his eyes, laying his head in your lap, prompting you to play with his hair, "Fine. I just wanna make sure you're happy. I mean, you know how douchey he was last year." "He's actually really sweet now," You say truthfully. Eddie hums, "Okay, I'll believe you." His eyes drift closed as you run your fingers through his hair, closing your book and falling asleep with your head back against the couch cushions.

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You startle awake as Wayne walks through the trailer door, his boots are clunky and loud. "Sorry, peach, didn't mean to wake ya," He says and you shake your head, "It's all right, Wayne, I should be getting home anyway." "You sure?" You nod as you lay Eddie's head gently on the couch, "I gotta wake up kinda early tomorrow, but I'll be by to make dinner before you head to work? I was thinking lasagna?" "Sounds great, kiddo. Hey, how's Ed doin' in school?" You shrug, looking at the curly-haired slobbering mess that is your best friend, "Pretty much the same, but he has been getting better at getting to class on time, and I know for a fact he has at least one C+." Wayne lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good t'hear. I'd hate to see him miss out on life 'cause of the school system."

You open the door to leave when Wayne stops you, handing you your book before kissing the top of your head and shoving you out the door. You laugh quietly so as to not wake up the neighbors and head towards your open window.

Once inside, you close the window gently and lock it, closing your dingy blinds before crawling into bed and switching the light on your nightstand off. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, your lungs accustomed to the stench of alcohol and cigarettes. You start to drift off, sleep falling over you like a big dark blanket, relieving you of your duties in the real world and allowing you the comfort of your imagination.

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The sound of your alarm makes you jolt awake, even as it's set to the lowest volume. You crack your neck and your knuckles before rolling out of the mess of blankets--a blanket cocoon if you will. You take a two-minute shower to avoid getting yelled at for using the hot water and wrap a towel around your body. You quickly put your hair up and brush your teeth, nearly forgetting to put on some mascara before exiting the bathroom and rushing into your room. Clothes are scattered all around and it takes you a good five minutes to find something clean to wear, even with the minuscule amount of clothes you own.

You toss on the clothes quickly, making a mental note to do laundry later, and you take your keys off the hook and run out the door. You grab your bike, leaning against the rickety railing of the stairs leading up to the trailer, and take off. Your keys jingle around in your pocket, nearly distracting you from the oncoming car.

You make it to the library with minutes to spare and you lock up your bike using the chain sitting in the front basket. You turn just in time to see Steve pulling up and you smile at the happy wave he sends your way. You wave back despite your exhaustion and greet him as he gets out of the car.

He rushes around to the passenger side, holding the door open for you with a dorky grin and you roll your eyes, "You could've just waited in the car for me." "Now what kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't hold the door open for my fake girlfriend?" "You're a dork," You reply with a straight face and you swear you see a hint of pink dusting his cheeks and ears.

You get settled in the car as he comes back around the driver seat and starts the car. He makes sure your seatbelt is buckled before he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the parking spot. He pulls onto the road and turns on the radio, turning it down as he looks over at you, "How'd you sleep?" You shrug and he frowns, "Are you okay?" You stay silent for a moment, deciding if you want to tell the truth, and you nod, a smile plastered on your face. He nods at your answer and turns back to look at the road, keeping the radio turned down in case you want to talk.

"Hey," you finally speak up and he perks up, "Could you drive me to the general store after school? I need to pick something up." "Yeah, sure." You reach over to turn up the music as your favorite song plays through the speakers. You try your very hardest to not sing along and opt instead for humming along as you sway to the rhythm. Steve smiles at you and begins belting out the lyrics, forcing a laugh to leave your lips. You watch as he messes up the words, still singing his heart out with a wide smile, and you decide to join in. The car stops and suddenly you realize you're at the school. Your face heats at the people looking at you through the window.

Steve turns off the car, and with it, the music. He rushes out of the car, running to the other side, not caring how stupid he looks, before he's at your door, holding it open for you with a hand out for you to take. He pulls you to his chest and whispers in your ear, "Can I kiss you?" You nod subtly and he pulls back slightly to press his lips against yours. Your arms wrap around his neck as his hands hold your hips. You can feel the eyes of your peers, but kissing Steve almost makes that all go away.

Almost.

You first hear whispers, then giggles, then, as you pull away, opening your eyes, you can see all the people standing and gossiping and pointing and you freeze. Your heart plummets as you think of the possibilities. Was this just a joke? Was Steve in on this? You look up at the boy's face to find him scowling. Only, it's not at you. He flips off the crowd as he pulls you closer to him protectively, grabbing your backpack and your hand, and walking into the school with you in tow.

"I'm sorry," He says once you lose sight of them, "People are assholes." He lets go of your hand and your heart flutters as you realize you wish he didn't. You take the bag from his hand as he backs up slightly. "I've gotta get to class, but I'll come by yours once the bell rings, which class do you have?" You clear your throat before answering, now realizing you were just staring a his lips as he talked, "Uhm, Mrs. O'Donell, room forty-eight." He nods, looking up as though he's repeating it in his head a few times before he looks back down at you and nods. "I'll see you later, then," He says, his eyes catching on something behind you before he pulls you in for a kiss, just a peck, but still just as mindblowing as the others. You reach your hand up to feel your lips as you watch him walk away, and you know you're hooked.

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i was gonna write more but i wasnt in the mood so this is all you get. lmk if you want a part two eventually

[venelona-turtle-den]

A bit of a side thing, but, yeah. Me tired. Feel free to disregard this post, I'm just letting some feelings out so my brain stops torturing me.

Honestly, tired is not quite the right word. Its more like I've been too caught up in work and my brain denies me relaxation? Like... ever since I got an idea for the Ghost Future Leo, I've been working on him every day. And by the nature of how I do things, I don't start a new drawing until I finish the last, so, he was all I've worked on. And it comes with the anxiety that 'I haven't posted anything in so long, that's bad, you're not productive'.

And then I finished Ghost Leo to the point where I could post him, and, it, uh... Got complicated? Because, no doubt, it's a BIG project, I worked A TON on him, but it wasn't really, like... a comic. Or a drawing. So I took a break, I promise I did, but then I wanted to get back to posting proper art and all.

Exceeeept I also wanted to keep working on Ghost Leo. Partly because I like working on him, truly, but also... I feel like I owe it to people? Like... I live with the fear that there's not enough to him, that people will get bored in like three days and that will be that, and I owe folks who enjoy spending time with him to expand the features. I want to respond to people posting and talking about him because that's everything I've wanted, to see people's reactions, and I feel like I can't leave anyone hanging, because that was what I asked for in the first place... All those posts and nice asks bring me so much joy, and I want people to know it.

As well as all the asks from people who need help - as a creator, I owe it to them to help them through everything, to fix mistakes and bugs, to answer questions...

And because of that, I feel bad when I try to take a break for more than a day - I have things to answer, and I don't want to answer them inadequately, because I want people to know that I care about every ask.

So, in short... despite me doing art I still feel like I'm not doing enough, despite the recent updates my brain still tells me I need to do more, and I'm afraid of starting on something like a comic because it feels I have too much of other stuff to do and I can't let myself focus my attention on something else for a week or two...

I know its all baloney, and that I deserve to rest, that I can freaking sit down and play Star Rail for three days and people won't hate me for it, but... that's not what my brain thinks and signals to my body. Silly me.

Thank you for reading this to those who did, I wrote this thing to just say... I hope my brain is actively lying to me, and people won't riot if I take a bit of time getting to answer the asks or posting more art. I promise I read everything, I just need to get back into a groove of things, especially since May and June are months that get busy with the school work on top of everything. I hope that's understandable 💖