#i've been doing house stuff
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thanks for tagging me in this lil game, @joelsgreenflannel and @sugarcoated-lame! 💞
last song i listened to: HOT TO GO!, Chappell Roan
currently watching: hockey! Watching the Detroit Red Wings vs Colorado Avalanche to see if I can catch Mads @javierpena-inatacvest up in the nosebleeds. As a Chicago Blackhawks fan, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but LGRW 🥴
currently obsessed with: home design (I'm working on buying a house) and our favorite bby boy, our Papicito, my little pigeon (Pedro, obv, it's never going to end i hope fear)
npt for some sweet mutuals: @tightjeansjavi, @swiftispunk, @5oh5, @netherfeildren, @merci-killing, @javierpena-inatacvest, @mermaidgirl30, @sawymredfox
#tag game#tag meme#fun!#LJ core#also god soz i have not been very active recently#i've been doing house stuff#and writing with Gi#i'll be more active this weekend for sleepover time!
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"You know your problem?”
“A predilection for first editions and women who like to lecture me about myself?”
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, THIS IS A LOVE CONFESSION AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND!!!!
#they better make out haaard in the next book#and then do the other stuff#I'VE BEEN TORTURED FOR SO LONG#darlingstern#alex stern#darlington#alex x darlington#ninth house#hell bent
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So with my Mom’s cancer being back, my own health stuff, and everything else going on, I’m not sure I’ll be able to be the most active in this round of bookclub (and I do have a lot of words muted and stuff hidden because of mental health and streamlining things and Tumblr's an ass about showing posts sometimes—so if I miss a post, please don’t take it personally!). ): It honestly makes me super upset
But I really hope that everyone has a good time and I can’t wait to see what people cook up! <3 Last time was SO MUCH FUN it makes me a little nervous about living up to those expectations aksjdkajsn But as long as someone has a good time, that's what counts :3
#TrigunBookclub#Tbh I have a lot of ships in general muted/hidden so that I stopped accidentally reblogging things to the trigunart blog lol#Which luckily romance and shipping rarely take root in my brain so *I'm* fine with that#(Don't look at the one obvious elephant in the room)#But it does mean I'll miss stuff#PLEASE let me know if someone's being a dick and I miss it#Absolute zero-tolerance policy for harassing or being cruel to anyone in this house#And also tbh I'm overwhelmed but I'm doing better than I have in previous overwhelmed times#I've been doing a lot of mental word and cut out a lot of toxicity in my life#Even if I'm really raw atm#So I'm okay#As okay as I can be anyway#ANYWAY I just feel so guilty about this#And I don't want anyone to feel bad
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Platinum bones real
Haven't slept in more than a day so brain n body no workie, but I needed to doodle smth real fast after how wild of a day today was. Post Hoot made me very happy and Dana's art was cherry on top so I HAD to get this out of my system before going to sleep, so here, hugs QwQ
#the owl house#toh#the collector#king clawthorne#platinum bones#toh fanart#toh collector#toh king#my art#now to tackle actual wip's i had for a while :')#With the amount of fluffy stuff I've been doing I guess my generally good mood has been showing a lot#need to do smth else soon haha#i'mma sleep i really can't think rn
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i've been playing the new update and i thought this was Cute <3
#caw caw#stardew valley spoilers#< i don't know if anyone needs it but jic#these screenshots are from yesterday but i only got to experience this festival a Little bit...........................#i've been busy trying to do stuff on my farm and then it's like. /Uh Oh/. < 12am ingame#BUT at least now with the new items (crafting + furniture); i now know what to do with the lower section of my farm <3#and speaking of.#elliott? don't mind about the fact that there's a framed portrait (or two) of you in our house
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let out the MOST unholy and delighted cackle that you can possibly imagine when daemon mentioned aemond to alys
#my sister was in the room and she was like WHAT are you doing#pie says stuff#i've been waiting for this! and i will continue waiting! but we got a little crumb!#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#alys rivers#aemond targaryen
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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i feel like it does not make sense for being cold to be legitimately debilitating for me but for some reason it really is
#maybe it's something like my body is just so overwhelmed by feeling like it's dying that i lose a lot of my mental functioning#but idk man#as soon as i got warm again i was able to do the stuff I've been struggling to do for a week#it's not even technically that cold in my house and my hands are frozen#maybe my circulation just really sucks#or maybe it doesn't even suck and this is purely a consequence of being so underweight#but either way i am dying and i cannot wait until like april
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I was looking through my 2D Doof image folder and randomly came across this picture I didn't remember I had saved, please he looks so adorable😭💕
#he's evil but he's also just a silly little man :3 (I love him with all my heart)#no but for real he looks sooo cute smiling like that💕 it's nice to see him have a small moment where he just seems happy and content#fyi the screencap is from his and Charlene's song from the special episode and it's a still frame that appears for like 1 second lol#only thing that bothers me slightly it the fact he's wearing shoes in the house (we don't do that here)#ik it's a cartoon so most characters just wear their signature outfit anywhere and they didn't wanna bother designing a new one#but when Selina moves in with him he'll have to stop that lmao#on that note I've been thinking of giving him a more casual/comfy outfit but I have no idea what could fit him😭#like his original outfit looks badass and all but 1) he's gonna boil in the summer heat#and 2) I don't think it's the most comfortable for things like a cozy evening on the couch or stuff like that - so yeah🤷♀️#2nd dimension doofenshmirtz#2d doofenshmirtz#2d doof#doofenshmirtz#heinz doofenshmirtz#dr doofenshmirtz#phineas and ferb#across the second dimension#across the 2nd dimension#at2d#atsd#screenshot#f/o: 🚂#f/o gush#f/o appreciation#selnia talks
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#punk hazard#ch658#so today was my first day at my new job up in the mountains#its absolutely gorgeous up here btw its already snowing out here in mid october#but anyway we did the normal like. orientation go over the handbook stuff#and then we got sent with our supervisor for back of house and.#me and one of the other new guys struggled so hard to build a shelf#TBF the guy said 'leave a space on the bottom for the big pots'#so i didnt think we should get the bottom shelf on there. uhm.#we had to put two layers on sideways and its probably not the best shelf out there#BUT IT WORKS.#anyway after we finished that i got really dizzy so i had to go sit down#i've been at higher altitudes but u do really gotta take it easy for a bit#anyway i hope i'm more serving food to people than cooking it. which is still part of boh#i just dont want to be a line cook entirely...#but i can grill burgers and shit i just. prefer to do other things#i always preferred to do like assembly when i was boh at the a&w. and fry station was fine too#i just like interacting with people though
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While I'm in a rental and I know it can't be guaranteed to stay, I'm going to plant Richmond Birdwing Vine (pararistolochia praevenosa), Purple Violet (viola betonicifolia), and Native Violet (viola hederacea).
They're the host plants for the Richmond Birdwing and Australian Fritillary butterflies, and I keep seeing that post about a man in America who helped out significantly I think with the California pipevine swallowtail.
There's so much I can't do to help with the environment, but planting a vine I'll need to trim in my own yard alongside a handful of other native plants and having a bit of a veggie garden helps myself, my family, and some animals in the area.
#the solarpunk stuff I see is#well it's frequently all art#and when it's not it's things that feel unattainable/insurmountable to do on top of my daily life#I've a full time job and I have to factor in travel to and from that job (public transport here is shit so it takes about an hour each way)#and then maintaining the house in my free time on what little energy I have left#it feels insane to think 'well I also want to grow more food and store it and make a solar dehydrator and make more food from scratch and#get in touch with people in the community that are like minded. and get mad at our local government for its shitty maintenance of the lake#that has been cautioned against people swimming in it bc it'll make you sick#and this and that and everything else and visible mending also#fuck#so#I'm planting some new plants and impatiently waiting for my tomatoes and that's enough for now 😌
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y'all i've been upset about nanowrimo's shenanigans since last year, when kids weren't safe, and now there's this AI shitshow, and i want to cry about it again, because nano has been SO IMPORTANT to me since 2008--it helped me hack my writing process and make a bunch of cool shit, and i've written so many stories i love using it as a jumping off point. but. we gotta protect kids, and we gotta get the fuck out of here with AI bullshit.
so. the decision i have come to is that i will still be participating in nano. but now it stands for "now a's [that's me] novel writing month." i'm still going to write a book in november, and i'm still going to shoot for the 1,667 words/day (even though my finished projects wind up way longer than that, invariably), because i've structured my creative life around this routine, but i won't be using their site any more.
i will also not be tagging my november project posts as nanowrimo, but i WILL still be tagging them as "nano[YEAR]" (because that's been my tagging system for untitled projects for uh. years.). and it's now a's novel writing month :)
#text#personal#nanowrimo#nano2024#as soon as i can get my feelings together i'm going to go delete my account :(#i want to save my data from it though so i have to figure out How To Do That#that's like. that's my writing history. for over a decade.#well. one month's worth anyway.#i love the graphs i love the word counter i love the Record#i love that it did it for me so i didn't have to make it special for myself#a friend already did a little excel graph that accomplishes most of the same stuff so i'll use something like that#i've been counting offline for years anyway#i just. ouch.#literally the project i'm revising now was a nano seven years ago#so many of them have been#protect kids like DON'T SET THEM UP TO BE GROOMED HOLY FUCK#not protect kids like coddle and restrict access#protect kids like don't put people in positions of power who can't be trusted with it (like make sure the space is FOR TEENS)#anyway i'm tired and upset and i need to figure out what to do about this haunted house book#i wanted to get words out here before i continued to post about my writing projects just so i have sometime to point to about it#“hi here's my stance kthxbye”#admin
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"can we stop pretending the evil stepmother trope is bad and boring" oh my FUCKING GOD just reread the book!!!! just reread the fucking book!!!!!! if you want the book canon so bad it's right there, go read it!!!!! you've got to have it in your possession since you talk about it all the fucking time and i'd be astounded if someone this fucking pressed hasn't actually read it!!!!!! the change to rhaenyra and alicent's relationship has been known since they first cast the fucking show!!!!! it's been there since episode one!!!!!!! if you don't like it don't watch the show and just REREAD THE FUCKING BOOK!!!!!!
#personal#house of the dragon#fandom critical#anti asoiaf fandom#anti team black#my GOD#like i've gone into great detail about when i think the changes the show makes from its source material haven't worked#but it's absolutely fine to change rhaenyra and alicent's relationship to make a more interesting story#because it IS#like i'm fine with book canon dance of dragons it's not my favorite part of fire and blood#cuz that's the conquest and all the conquerors stuff#but it's fine#but i do think what they attempted to do with rhaenyra and alicent in the show is much more interesting and complex#and leads to a lot of narrative richness and interesting characterization that you WANT from a serialized storytelling format#like a tv show#(do i think it's been executed well? not really because i don't think these writers are very good but that's not the point)#but my god quit your fucking WHINING#this is like complaining about the velaryons being black because it's different from the book#you've known it's been there since preproduction no one pulled the wool over your eyes#and no one's taking f&b away from you anyway so just READ THE FUCKING BOOK AGAIN#stop watching the show and just reread the story you like#it's not that fucking hard
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Tagged by @soyouwinagain to post 6 photos from my camera roll in the past week, thank you comrade, I was hoping someone would tag me 🫡🫡 except then I had to go back a couple weeks otherwise all six photos would have been my dog at a cocktail garden.
Ivan Fedotov and Erik Johnson at Flyers training camp, Fedotov in full Russian saint mode; a flower outside of an Indian restaurant; Yankees outfielders running away from each other and I'm so mad I only got them running back to position bc they were being SO cute while a reliever was warming up; Keats at the aforementioned cocktail garden, he was sweatin'; giant rotting boat outside of Ikea; boxes containing all of my earthly possessions.
#having a good day 😭 went to rittenhouse to hang with sierra while they did work then went to a flyers rally and got free stuff#heroically refrained from asking flyers reporters about danny briere's plan for eetu mäkiniemi during the q&a#took the bus all by myself!!!! an actualy achievement lol i'm so scared of buses and i was so worried i would end up in like delaware#but i did not i ended up at my house#so now i feel much more confident about taking the bus..exposure therapy LMAO#went to a pizza place near me i have not been too and it FUCKS#my new favorite thing to do rn is if i can eat anything on the menu and its super slow in the restaurant is to ask#what the cashier or server recommends. way better than if i were just panicking and ordered cheese pizza#i need to start unpacking my art supplies and bathe my dog but overall...VERY good day so far#if the padres and the phillies pull through we'll be in good shape#OH!!!! AND EVERYONE BEING SO SO BRAVE FOR TEAM LIFT FEST!!!#ME N MAX ARE SOOOO PROUD OF EVERYONE AND I'M SOOOO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT THE NEXT TWO WEEKS BRINGS!!!!#i've been having some frustrations with myself bc there was a lot of stuff i should have scaled down and didn't#and my ethos running this w max is way different than fth but none of the sign up materials reflect that#which i'm frustrated with myself for not thinking through more carefully and conscientiously#even tho going into this we knew so much of the fest was going to be us throwing puddy at the wall and seeing what sticks#but i have been frustrated with myself for not thinking through how materials like the sign up form don't reflect the like spirit of how we#wanted to run it#so it's really nice to see that people are being really brave and getting excited for each other and getting excited for what's#being offered#i'm sooooo excited!!!!!!!!!#ok i'm done lol i have to finish this soda and face the disaster that is how i packed my art supplies#when i can do art again. know.#fresno oilers.txt
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Prepare... for unforseen consequences...
#my art#half life#gman#half life 2#half life alyx#black mesa#half life gman#hello!! I'm still around... just in case someone missed me xD#haven't been drawing much good stuff or haven't been feeling like posting it... but i think i wanna get back into it lol#despite everything going to shit when it comes to sharing art online and the existing social media platforms... meh#anyway i fell into the half life fandom and fell HARD for the g-man and i can't get up so i might post more art of him soon#I've even started painting again because of that mf!! can you believe it?? i found a hexagonal shaped canvas at my parent's house...#... and i have the perfect idea of what to do with it ;)#moonlight rambles
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Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??
But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!
But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?
#stoned ramblings#life of faye#i swear I'm not as sad right now as this makes me sound just kinda lonely is all#work bonus#boss also said that if i wanted to take on more responsibility we could talk raises as well#and like most days I'm done by like 1 so it's not like I'm wildly overworked as it is#I'm going to set some aside for fun stuff and the rest is going in my savings#i am finally FINALLY trying to build up a savings again#it's probably a silly dream but I still want to save up for a house#so what else can i do but try and save?#rent's gone up so damned much everywhere that for somewhere halfway decent it costs about as a mortgage to rent anyway#the only reason my rent is semi-managable is because I've been here for 8 damn years so they haven't been able to drive it up as much#other apartments here start at hundreds more per month for new tenants#so i feel like I'm stuck here until i can afford a place#my one real hope is that I inherit enough from my midwest grandma when she passes to make a good down payment somewhere#sometimes to torture myself I like to go look at houses that I think are in my approximate realistic price range if i could cover the down#i want a yard for velma#i want to be able to open my blinds and/or windows and not feel like a whole apartment complex's worth of people can see me#i want a kitchen where all the burners work and I have enough counter space to work#i want a dryer system where my apartment doesn't get filled with warm wet air when the neighbors are doing their laundry#i want to do nude gardening#and have backyard bbqs with friends#i want enough dedicated space to do art that i don't constantly have to shuttle the easel around the living room and up and down the stairs#all pipe dreams i know#but hey the grandma did say that i was one of her three main inheritors in the will#so we'll see#just to be clear she has not passed but she's nearing 90 and keeps talking about it so it's hard not to think about you know?#anyway these are the sorts of things that i would talk about if I had someone to cuddle on the couch and talk to about my day#texts to nobody
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