just-a-simpe

[moregraceful]

Tagged by @soyouwinagain to post 6 photos from my camera roll in the past week, thank you comrade, I was hoping someone would tag me 🫡🫡 except then I had to go back a couple weeks otherwise all six photos would have been my dog at a cocktail garden.

Ivan Fedotov and Erik Johnson at Flyers training camp, Fedotov in full Russian saint mode; a flower outside of an Indian restaurant; Yankees outfielders running away from each other and I'm so mad I only got them running back to position bc they were being SO cute while a reliever was warming up; Keats at the aforementioned cocktail garden, he was sweatin'; giant rotting boat outside of Ikea; boxes containing all of my earthly possessions.

[ikonislife]

Better Together.

-Bobby x Reader

-Expecting parents au, fluff

-Here for You is another dad!Jiwon request I had. This request came in right after so I guess in a way, they’re in conjunction with one another. You don’t really have to read them together since they’re pretty much stand alone pieces but it’s nice to have a small continuation. Anyways, here ya go! 10 years late but I did it!!!

The world suddenly seemed so much bigger now that your range of mobility was limit to three feet out your front door, and occasionally down the street for a short walk with your dog, in which you’re no longer allowed to hold the leash. As per your doctor order? God no! In fact, your doctor always commented on how well taken care of you were at every single appointment. This preposterous house arrest is of course, as per your husband ordered. 

Jiwon had been beyond amazing throughout your whole pregnancy despite missing nearly every single parent-in-training class due to iKon’s hectic tour schedules. Possessing the vast knowledge of one book on pregnancy for dummy he once read before realizing that nothing the books offered could possibly save him from your fifth mood swing of the hour, nor the guilt he constantly feel watching you cried from the sheer endless aching of carrying a new life. Yet there he was every time your eyes glossed over with a new insane craving or another hormonal whine fest about how unfair it is that you’re the only one looking like a duck had swallowed a planet waddling around whilst he, dashing and breaking heart as ever. Every time you panic, every time you’d freak out over every little thing, he’d be there holding your hand, calm as a swan to guide you through. Even if only moments later you caught him on the brink of tear, rapping at top speed on the phone with Hanbin, no doubt letting lose all the worries he held back for the sake of your peace of mind. Poor Hanbin, bless his soul for being therapist/consultant for whatever it might be that Jiwon is ringing him up about now. He probably has it harder than you will ever experience because Jiwon has to be taking all that emotion somewhere. He sat through an hour of you ugly crying while sobbing because you lost the allan wrench that came with your new shelf. Even when Jiwon had presented another shiny allan wrench from another set of table he had saved after putting it together the week before, you were still bawling like a baby that it weren’t the same. The collection of bags under his eyes were at this point more extensive than your designer one that he had gifted you through the years. He took it all with the grace and braveness of a new dad, without ever letting you hear his complaints. 

Jiwon, your dear husband, he’s god sent, best you could’ve ever ask for so why was it you were screaming his name off the top of your lungs, muddling it with a strings of obscene curses? Well because it’s well into your 2nd hour of labor pain, which will only get worse from here as informed by your kind team of nurses. The insane hours of pain feels much like the wave crashing the shore, except, instead of the soothing water of the ocean and sunshine of the beach, it was waves of fire, and knives, and molten lava because all you could feel is searing pain. Jiwon sits beside you, his face had contorted into something so twisted he might as well check himself in for some surgery to morph it back to the handsome face he possessed before dropping all his schedule to rush to your side.

“Baby, does it hurt mu-” His whisper chopped off as quick as it had surfaced by a small yelp elicited by your nails digging into his palm. Now he had braved probably just as much pain as you had letting you clawed at him, pinched him, hold him to a point of bruising yet not even a whimper of complain. He knows whatever discomfort he might feel will never, ever be worthy enough to compare to what you’re about to go through.

“Does it hurt, Jiwon? Does it HURT? Are you seri- Oh my fucking shit. Are you being serious right now?” The audacity of this man to sit here and question whether or not you’re really in pain. Does he still not know how it work after the half an hour of you going into an hysterical rant, explaining in excruciating details of how babies are born?

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know it hurts a lot. What can I do?” 

“Do you, Jiwon? I just had three different people shoved their hand up my damn vagina in the last hour alone while humming “not ready yet” like I’m a freaking pie in the oven all the while being display like a freaking 150 pounds piece of really shitty art made by someone with no artistic sense whatsoever for everyone to see. Do you really know?” Damn, Jiwon would be proud with how fast and powerful you had just gotten that sentence out in one single breath if he weren’t so scare, being married to a rapper really has it perk.

“I’m sorry. I’m here, hit me, scream at me all you want okay? But you gotta calm down baby... The doctor said getting upset isn’t good for little Y/n. What can I do?” Instinctively, just as he had all these years when the world becomes a little too much for you to handle, Jiwon pulls you into his arms, never mind your harsh words or that his left palm is now bleeding from how rough your hold on his hand were. He places a kiss on your sweaty forehead, with the good hand running through your matted hair. If Jiwon could be pregnant instead, he would. 

He had always been the one bugging you to get pregnant, although never quite mad, Jiwon had gotten short with you once before when you expressed your nonchalantness with having kids. He wants to take it all back now. How could he be so selfish, how could he make you carry a life just because he wants a mini Jiwon or mini Y/n when you weren’t ready. He had forgotten seeing Hanbin and his wife went through so much trials and tribulation with their twins, or how hard it was on Chanwoo’s wife when she had complication with their first born so he so selfishly blamed you for still not having someone to call him “dad”. What a screw up he is for blaming you, the only person that was willing to take him at his best and at his worst without ever questioning his intention. 

“Get me some water... as much ice as you can.” You whimper out and he nods furiously, not knowing how else to help. A heavy sigh left your lips just as his shadow bolts out the door behind him. You know how harsh all this was on him, and of all his fears but the pain had blinded you for the past few hours.

“Baby, here.” He rushes back to your side, thankful to see a more rested form of his wife smiling back. Lifting a few spoonful of cold salvation to your lips, he settles happily when you lean into him as you satisfyingly crunches on the ice.

“Jiwon... I’m sorry.” You mewl out, much to his surprise. 

“Whatever for, honey? You did nothing wrong.” Eyes widen, for the first time since arrival he was met with your tearful features even with the gut punches your body was preparing to welcome the baby are still rolling in with full force.

“I-I know all I’ve been doing is yell at you. First all I do is complain, now I just yell and hurt you. I don’t want you to think this is me now... I said it before, I’ll say it now. I’m happy to be able to welcome my child with you, our child. I know I don’t say it enough, or at all, but Kim Jiwon, you’re an amazing person.”

“Stop it, love. I’m far from perfect. I always expect this thing to be easy breezy, you know? I’ve seen Jinhwan hyung did it, then Yunhyeong hyung... Even Hanbin, and June, and the maknae. I just, I don’t know. I guess it’s not as easy when we do it ourselves, huh?” That strange chuckle, signature of your husband rings out so dearly and suddenly your heart is at peace. You snuggle further into his chest despite the strange position you both had taken on with the soon to be gone bump in between. “Like I said before, you’re the most beautiful person in this world and I thank God everyday for giving me you.” 

You must be looking like a rag doll after a tsunami but his words and those loving eyes just make you feel like a million dollars. His fingers find their way back to your face pushing away a few stray strand of hair as they would always do before he so tenderly presses a gentle kiss on your lips. Jiwon holds it there for what felt like eternity as he lets his heart and soul sear you with all his love, only parting way once the footfall could be heard leading to your room. 

Once more you experience what could only be describe as a frog prepared to get dissected during bio class, what’s with being prod at, poke, and examine. Another 4 excruciating hours and a few laps around the maternity ward later to loosen your muscles, you were prepped and primed for the main event. The world feels like such a blur, as if suddenly the Earth had decided to go on a race with its sibling planets. Blurs of people running in and out of the room, blurs of faces telling you to push, blurs of the incessant beeping of all the machineries, blurs of pain. In the blurry faded world flashing in front of your eyes, his face remains clear as day right beside you. Jiwon has his arms around you like he always had been when he walked you through rough spots in life. 

For God knows why, your memories rushes back to the day you had thought your journey with him was to end, back to the days of being young and being careless. You had gotten tired of waiting, angry at him for always leaving but too foolish to realize there were millions of other solutions before separating. “Let’s break up” you had said simply and watched as he said simply, “No.” Before you had realized what was going on, he already had his arms around you before repeating one more time, “No.” You were angry at first, the blatant disrespect he was showing by refusing to hear you but then you broke down crying in his arms and held him the tightest you’ve ever held anyone. “My naive girl, what make you think pushing me away will be the answer to your pain of never having me around? Did you think that parting way forever will help you get over how much you miss me? Because let me tell you right now, if you love me as I do you, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever come up with because i can’t even fathom how much it hurt not to have you in my life.” And he held you for the next hours as you both snuggling up on your old worn couch, then the rest of the night when you buried your head in his chest while listening to his sweet, sweet voice. “When you’re thirsty, you drink water. When you’re hungry, you eat. When you miss someone, you should be with them. I don’t get your ass backward logic, missy. Tell me right now, would you rather me leave right now, and I will if you do. I don’t want to force you into a relationship if you’re already decided you don’t need anymore.” Your response was to pull him closer and never let go.  Just like that night, Jiwon is right where he needed to be and he protects you in his arms even when he doubts that it will help, he holds you anyways. Through the exhaustion and through it all, you smile because you’re all each other got and simply, you’re better together as 3 and counting. 

Then the world stops. A single cry tears through the musty sweat filled air like the clearest bell and all either of you could hear was that cry. The weight of the world lifted off your shoulders when you see the smile on his face, a smile that said you had just been demoted to second favorite as the nurse hands over your bundle of joy. 

“She’s so perfect. God,  I said I wouldn’t cry. Look at me now.” Jiwon half guffaw half chokes on his own tears as he delicately places his lips on her forehead, finger gently caressing her fluffy cheeks. 

“She’s perfect, just like her dad.” You lean back, forgetting that stitches were being placed, that your lower half felt like it had been through a meat grinder. Watching Jiwon holding your sleepy baby close to his chest as he coos “Hi baby, I’m your dad”, you’d go through this again and again. There is nothing more precious in this world than bringing a new life into this world and nothing will surpass the joy of doing it with Jiwon. You’re sure the weeks to come will be both painful and exhausting but seeing the excitement in his eyes as he shows off your daughter to the boys, you know you’re in good hands. 

[clarkeysbog]

Control - Chapter 2

“Now I want you to be good and listen to me, understand?” Jake smiled.

I shook my head and started to kick, but the nameless one hit the side of my leg and I couldn’t move it. He then leaned forward and put another zip tie around my ankles.

“She’s going to have to learn things the hard way.” Anthony joked.

Jake pulled my face closer to his.

“That’s not being good is it?” He let go and continued.

“We’ve been wanting you for a while, Jessica. And we always get what we want. I have big plans for you, you just have to wait.” He smiled devilishly.

I started shaking my head but it got slammed down by the nameless one. He held my head close to his chest and whispered in my ear.

“Quit it.” I stopped.

“You just signed a contract kid. You’re mine now.” Jake leaned in close. “As for you.” He turned to Ellie. “We’ll figure out what to do with you later.

He waved at Anthony and he held a cloth to her nose and she fell asleep.

I could barely breath.

How could I be so stupid? “If you would have read what you were given, you would have seen that you just signed all of your rights away to me. You’re going to learn how to be completely dependent on us. I need to be sure that you won’t do anything stupid before you get to be seen. You’re going to get a full makeover and a lot of lessons on how to be a good Team 10 member. Who knows maybe we’ll even get you a boyfriend, Anthony?” He smugly offered.

“I’ll take her.” He smiled and brushed his face against mine.

“But don’t worry, you’ll get what you wanted.” He leaned forward with the cloth and pressed it against my nose,

-

I woke up very groggy, and in a bedroom. 

I couldn’t even find the mental strength to get up. I moved my limbs but stayed on the ground, until the door swung open and Jake was there with a blonde man.

“She’s in pretty good shape, I don’t think she needs anything major in her body.” He squatted down next to me and lifted me to my feet. “She needs a tan.” He grabbed my face. “And a new nose and bigger lips.” He turned to the man he was with who was writing things down.

“I think that with the makeup and hair will change her enough, let’s put her down for permanent too. That should be good. You.” He snapped. “Come with me.” He turned to walk away. “Unless you want to see what happens when you try to be brave, your friend tried that.” That scared me.

“What did you do to her?” I asked, trying not to sound afraid.

He turned back, walked quickly towards me and slapped me across the face.

“You do not speak out of term. You do not go anywhere unless told to. You do what I say without question. Do not push me. Now walk.” He spat.

I held my cheek and took a deep breath to keep myself from crying and followed him down multiple sets of stairs.

“Usually you’ll be sleeping with Anthony, but I want you in the guest room until you’re healed from today. You’ll be with one of us three at all times. They have as much power over you as I do but in the end you answer to me, do you understand?” “Yes.” “Answer me with respect or that won’t be the only slap you’ll get today. Do you understand?” “Yes sir.” I had to really focus on my breathing so he wouldn’t hear me starting to cry.

“There are fences with guards all along the perimeter of the property, so if you try to run, I will get you back. And I’ll make sure you’re sorry.” He turned the corner to a room with racks and racks of merch.

“Take your clothes off and put these on.” He handed me some grey shorts and a pink sweatshirt all littered with his name, and some underwear with a bra.

“Here?” I asked reluctantly.

“Fine I’ll be nice, the bathroom is there. Just hurry.” He snapped, going to the desk searching through the drawers.

I knew if I argued he would probably beat me, so I bit my lip and scurried to the bathroom. I pulled my game jersey off, replacing it with the sweatshirt. It was long on me so I was a little covered when I pulled my longer shorts down and slid on the underwear and the shorts he gave me. They barely covered my ass, which made me want to hide. I pulled my arms into the sweatshirt and took off my bra, and slid on the one he gave me.

All of which was, surprisingly, my size.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

My makeup was still on, except some mascara  that ran down from tears. I didn’t put on much yesterday, just mascara and concealer because of the game. I combed down my curly hair with my fingers.

As I walked back out to him, Jake held his hand out to my clothes and I gave the pile to him.

“Nice to see you’re being obedient.” He threw the pile into a box and began to walk again. “Follow me.” I followed again to where Anthony and no name were.

“Oh look at her.” Anthony smiled at me and stood up. He wrapped an arm around my waist and another hand made its way down to the top of my butt.

I squirmed a little bit but he didn’t say anything.

But part of me was flattered.

“What’s the plan for her today?” Chance asked popping candy into his mouth.

“Today, I think she’ll get a new nose because that’ll take at least 7 days to heal. That’s the biggest thing she’s getting, she’s lucky she already had that Instagram body.” He laughed with them. “ We need to get her a new name too, before we get all her records.” He had just been so scary towards me.

My body wasn’t great. Yeah I was in shape from soccer, but my boobs weren’t like everyone on Instagram, and my waist could be smaller. My main physical attribute was my ass, that I did take pride in. But if they saw it as acceptable, who am I to say anything, that would probably get me more surgeries.

“In about a week she’ll get all the other stuff. Lips, lashes, eyebrows, a tan, you know the usual.” He set some papers on the counter.

Anthony pulled me close to him again.

“After that I’ll take you out and treat you. We’ll get your nails done, go shopping, you and me.” He said softly.

I didn’t say anything, but I didn’t pull away.

That he noticed.

He bit his lip and brushed his face against mine.

“Hate to break up your love fest Tony, but she has to go.” Jake said.

“I’ll see you after.” Anthony whispered and let me go.

I followed Jake down even more stairs to a basement where a professional looking woman was standing. She talked to Jake and showed both of us a lot of pictured until Jake finally settled on one.

“Okay ma’am, we’re going to start on your IV now.” She said rubbing an alcohol pad on my arm.

I looked away as she put the needle in, and she placed a mask over my nose and mouth.

“Just close your eyes and count back from 10.”