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#and then maintaining the house in my free time on what little energy I have left
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While I'm in a rental and I know it can't be guaranteed to stay, I'm going to plant Richmond Birdwing Vine (pararistolochia praevenosa), Purple Violet (viola betonicifolia), and Native Violet (viola hederacea).
They're the host plants for the Richmond Birdwing and Australian Fritillary butterflies, and I keep seeing that post about a man in America who helped out significantly I think with the California pipevine swallowtail.
There's so much I can't do to help with the environment, but planting a vine I'll need to trim in my own yard alongside a handful of other native plants and having a bit of a veggie garden helps myself, my family, and some animals in the area.
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coinandcandle · 9 months
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Witchy New Year Refresh
It’s the new year soon and I wanted to share what I plan to do to invite 2024 in with vim and vigor!
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I plan to do this over a few weeks as doing it all at once would be exhausting and just isn’t possible for me. Do what works for you and listen to your mind and body!
Clean and Cleanse
Not just spiritually, but I plan to physically clean my space. Any time I am inviting something new into my home—be it the new year, new energy, or a new way of thinking—I clean and cleanse my space.
I’m not one for spiritual sterility, though. I tend to deep clean or organize my spaces and then I will move on to spiritually cleaning my space! Here are some ways you can do this:
Smoke cleansing - a common one but it’s a good one! Not a great option if you have asthma or pets.
Open windows - It’s pretty cold where I am right now but I still like to open the windows for a little bit to let the air flow through the space and carry out any stagnant air and energy.
Sound cleansing - Not always the best option for folks who live with others or have thin walls but I like to blast music and fill my space with sound. When doing this I prefer to use a playlist that invokes the energy I want to bring with me into the new year!
Spray incense - If smoke isn’t possible for you try using a sprayable incense! Just be careful since this will still distribute a substance across your space and if you have children or pets it’s best to use non-toxic plants for this.
Simmer pot - I love to throw together a simmer pot for cleansing my space. I find it works best in the room you’re in which is likely the kitchen but if you have a wax warmer or mug warmer then you can make a mini simmer pot by placing a heat-safe container of water on it and putting in whatever herbs and oils you want!
Connect and Reconnect
I have ADHD and if something is out of sight, it’s out of mind. To this point, I tend to forget about my oracle/tarot decks, offering vessels, and spell vessels. Here’s a few ways I plan to try to connect and reconnect with the spirits and energy around me.
Clean and organize altars or offering spaces - Self-explanatory but this means dusting, wiping down, and moving things around. It could also mean adding new things and tossing old things that have served their purpose.
Set out new offerings - I plan to try and truly connect to my house spirit(s) this year so I want to find a space in the home where I feel like I can best feel its energy and I will leave an offering. This also means refreshing offerings for deities.
Check-in with spell vessels - I’m a very physical witch, I tend to prefer having a real-world anchor for my spells. This adds up, though, and I’m stuck with a bunch of jars, bowls, pouches, or whatever else. Check-in and see if they’re still active or if you still need to maintain the physical aspect of the spell. If not, dispose of them appropriately.
New Year’s meditation - Practicing mindfulness and doing a meditation session to help me connect with myself going into the new year.
Shadow work or self-care - Shadow work is a form of self-care to me, though some of it can be intense and that’s not how I want to start my new year. Instead, I’ll be doing either some very gentle shadow work or I will be otherwise practicing simply self-care.
Misc
Other things you can do for the new year that I don’t have a category for!
Make a hearty and satisfying breakfast on New Year's Day to welcome in the new year--or at least a satisfying cup of coffee!
Drink tea that invokes the energy you’d like to follow you into the new year.
Make a list of things you would like to learn or try in the new year as far as your practice goes.
Here are some posts to look through for the coming year!
2024 Witchy Calendar by @breelandwalker
Witchy Self-Care post by @ts-witchy-archive
Witchy Quick Tip - Mini simmer pot by me
Celebrating the New Year by @thevirginwitch
Please feel free to add any in either a reblog or comment! <:
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Enjoy my posts? Consider leaving me a tip on my ko-fi!~
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redroomreflections · 15 days
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Behind Closed Doors: A New Chapter of Natasha Romanoff and Y/N Y/LN on Love, Family, and Redemption
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Time Magazine Exclusive Interview
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
The Loud House Universe | Masterlist
Summary: Natasha and R sit for their first ever interview with Time Magazine
Note: This has spoilers so if you don't like those don't read. In my free time I world build. So if this sucks just know it was for me lol
w/c: 3.7k
Nestled in a nondescript town, hidden from the public eye for safety reasons, Time Magazine is granted an exclusive and rare glimpse into the lives of two individuals whose personal journeys have both inspired and intrigued. Natasha Romanoff, once known as the enigmatic Black Widow, and her partner Y/n —a woman whose own story of resilience and love complements Natasha’s—welcome us into their private sanctuary.
This unassuming town, chosen for its calmness and discretion, is a stark contrast to the high-profile lives these two have led. Here, amidst the quiet, Natasha and y/n are building a life together, raising six children, and embracing the everyday joys and challenges of having such a big family.
In this intimate conversation, Natasha and Reader open up about their journey of love and marriage, sharing the evolution of their bond as they navigate the complexities of a large family. They candidly discuss one of their children’s recent diagnosis, a profound experience that has tested their strength and deepened their connection
Join us as we delve into the personal and poignant, revealing the human stories behind the headlines and the remarkable journey of Natasha and Reader in their serene, hidden haven
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As I step into the living room of Natasha Romanoff and y/n, I’m immediately struck by the serene atmosphere that contrasts sharply with their high-profile pasts and celebrity. The space is meticulously curated, with soft hues and tasteful decor creating an environment that feels both intimate and inviting. All around us, there are subtle hints of their life with children, including the American Girl doll seated directly in front of me.
Natasha and y/n are seated on a large, comfortable sectional sofa, their closeness evident yet subtly restrained. They are dressed in coordinating outfits—Natasha in a sleek navy blouse and dark jeans, y/n in a navy dress that complements Natasha’s attire without matching exactly. It’s an understated coordination that feels more like an effortless choice rather than a deliberate statement.
They sit close enough to show their connection but maintain just enough space to breathe. Natasha’s posture is upright, her demeanor calm but attentive, while y/n exudes a quiet, steady presence beside her. There’s a natural ease in their interaction, a palpable mutual respect.
I take my seat across from them, feeling the gentle shift in the room’s energy as I prepare to dive into the questions. With a quick glance at my notes and a brief check of my recorder, I open the conversation. "First of all, I want to start off by saying thank you for accepting Time Magazine's interview request. It's a pleasure being able to be in your presence and get to know you a little more. Can I ask what made you think this was finally the time to do a sit-down interview?"
"Thank you. You're welcome. It's critical that we show our children how important the truth is and the importance of telling it," Natasha says, her gaze unwavering. "We felt that, now, after everything, it was the right time. I am being honored for my transformation and redemption so of course I wanted everything to be in my words."
Y/n smiles, nodding her head as she turns to face me. "We've always been open and honest with our kids about who we are. We didn't want to have some magazine or journalist telling them something about us that was untrue, so we figured why not do it ourselves."
"The last few years have been... a lot," Natasha adds, her voice softening slightly. "We've had some ups and downs, and we thought it would be a good way to tell our side of the story."
"That's wonderful and I definitely agree with getting your side of things out there," I say. "How did you two first meet, and what drew you to each other despite your very different backgrounds?"
"We met in a coffee shop actually," Y/n begins with a subtle smile. "It was about thirteen years ago give or take a year. I was sitting and studying for a law exam. I was in law school at the time. Natasha frequented the coffee shop but I never noticed her until one day I decided to look up and there she was. She caught my attention immediately. We didn't speak until the next time she'd come in and sat at my table. I was her cover."
Natasha nodded her head with a smirk. "I was on a mission and I had to use her. I was supposed to be subtle but I wasn't and I got made. So I sat with her to pretend to study and the rest is history."
"What do you mean by 'the rest is history'?"
"After she'd realized I wasn't going to hurt her, which was obvious because she was a civilian, we began to talk and we just hit it off," Natasha explained.
"She was the most interesting person I'd ever spoken to. She was different, a breath of fresh air," Y/n said. "It was an immediate connection."
"So you've always felt this instant connection between you?" I asked.
"Yes," Natasha responded. "From the moment we met, there was something special between us."
"We both knew it was more than just a physical attraction. There was an instant emotional connection as well," Y/n added.
"What would you say is the biggest challenge of being married to someone who's faced the kinds of hardships and challenges you've faced, y/n? You're a lawyer. How has it affected you both to be on opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to the law?"
"It's been difficult," Y/n started, her hand sliding closer to Natasha's. "I've had to watch her go through a lot. The media portrayed her as this monster, but they don't know her. Of course, I don't make excuses or ignore what's in her past. I'm not a person that can simply weigh in on someone's life when it was basically laid out for her."
"There were times that I thought I wouldn't come home to her, but I was lucky enough that she's seen past all of that," Natasha explained.
"She's done a lot of work on herself, and she's changed so much."
"Which brings me to our next question, In what ways has your relationship evolved since you first started dating?"
"We're still best friends," Y/n replied, looking over at Natasha with a soft smile. "Our relationship is stronger than ever. I'd like to think that we've grown up together, and that's been a great gift."
"I agree," Natasha said, returning her smile. "Our relationship is still growing and changing, but I think that's normal and healthy. We've gone through a lot, and we've grown together."
"What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced together, and how have you overcome them? Within reason of course," I assured them there was no need to get too personal if it wasn't necessary to the conversation.
"Well, we've lost a child, my best friend too," Y/n said.
"It's been a lot of trial and error," Natasha stated.
"There are ups and downs with every relationship. It's a journey, and it's about figuring out how to grow and evolve together," y/n explained. "So in the beginning we were both these strong women who didn't really understand the magnitude of what our love meant. So we struggled a lot. I'd like to think we figured things out."
"We're working on it," Natasha laughed. "We've come a long way. It hasn't been easy, but we're working on it."
As the conversation delves into their relationship's evolution and the challenges they've faced, a lighthearted interruption brings a touch of domestic warmth to the interview. The soft chime of a phone ringing cuts through the room’s calm. Natasha glances at the screen, a tender smile spreading across her face as she sees the caller ID.
“Excuse me for a moment,” Natasha says, her voice gentle as she answers the call. "Paige, what's up baby?"
On the other end, a small voice can be heard, clear and earnest. “Mama, can we have ice cream?”
Natasha’s smile broadens, and she exchanges a quick, knowing glance with Y/n before responding with a playful, “We’ll see, sweetheart. What kind of ice cream are you thinking about? Chocolate chip cookie dough. Don't you think three scoops is a lot?”
The response of the child must be one aligned with their personality as Y/n chuckles softly beside her, the sound rich with affection. The brief call, though mundane, offers a glimpse into their everyday life—a moment that underscores the balance they’ve struck between their public personas and their private family world.
As Natasha hangs up and returns her focus to the interview, the atmosphere in the room shifts slightly. The interruption, though brief, adds a layer of intimacy to the conversation.
“It’s these small moments, like a child’s call for ice cream, that remind us of the everyday joys of family life. How have your relationship and your experiences influenced your approach to parenting and managing your family? Especially given your background in the Red Room, Natasha. Has that affected it at all?”
Natasha and y/n exchanged looks, a silent communication passing between them. Y/n reached for Natasha's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "My experiences have definitely shaped me and helped me grow as a parent. I think for a while, I was afraid to be stern. I was afraid to be anything but gentle. That was an issue, and we had to work through it," Natasha began. "I had to understand what each of my children needs and listen to them. I had to stop walking on eggshells and set boundaries. We had to find our flow."
"But once we did, we were able to find our balance and our rhythm as parents. We're very much a team," Y/n continued.
"You've said you're a team. What do you mean by that? What is the dynamic like between the two of you?"
"We support each other, and we communicate. We're both involved in all aspects of our children's lives. We're both present and involved, and we make decisions together. That's the most important thing to us."
"Do you agree with that, Y/n? Do you feel like the two of you work well together as parents?"
"Yes, I think we work really well together. We're both invested in our children, and we're both committed to giving them the best life possible. We've worked through a lot, and I think that's made us stronger as parents and as a couple." Y/n said. "As for being working parents, it's easy for us to feel guilty when we have to be away. I work corporate now and the hours are much more lax than being ADA in New York but they still keep me busy. I try to be home every night for dinner. We trade off on pickups and drop-offs. We help with extracurriculars. It was important to us to not have nannies in their first few years of life. Natasha's parents help us out a lot. With four adults tackling six kids, it's been a pretty successful journey."
"It sounds like you've both been through a lot, but that you've managed to find strength and comfort in each other. What do you think has enabled you to endure these challenges, and what advice would you give other couples facing similar situations?"
Natasha's expression is thoughtful, her voice warm as she speaks. "I think we are the wrong couple. We would give the advice not to have six kids. I'm only half joking. Truthfully, don't bite off more than you can chew. Laugh sometimes. Understand that your children have their own personalities and lives. "
"We would advise you to communicate. Find ways to laugh and find balance. It's important to spend quality time together, and it's also important to prioritize individuality and personal space," Y/n advised.
"One of your children was recently diagnosed with autism. How has this affected your family, and what steps are you taking to support them?"
"Our youngest son was around two when he was diagnosed as level 1." Y/n began. "We've had a lot of support from the community, and we've found that having a network of people who understand has been invaluable. Our older children are incredibly supportive and understanding. They're doing their best to adapt, and they're learning about autism and how to support their brother."
"For you what were the signs you'd noticed in the beginning?"
"We noticed his lack of speech and the fact that he wouldn't make eye contact sometimes," Y/n answered. "A lot of his story is his to tell when he's old enough. We simply noticed that the way he sees the world and how he navigates it was different than what we had encountered previously. The speech was a big indicator for us. He wasn't necessarily delayed. He did have words later than we've seen but he started talking a little after his first birthday. Then the progress was stagnant for a while."
"It was an uphill battle to get him diagnosed," Natasha added. "A doctor we had seen referred us for an evaluation but then there was a process of everyone denying services simply because he seemed "normal". Their words, not mine. So we had to push for second and even third opinions."
"Once he was finally diagnosed we had to wait and then get a referral. So it was a long journey. But we are happy with his care and happy that we got it." Y/n explained. "He's such a happy kid. His favorite thing to do now is drive. So we got him a little electric car."
"We're lucky. He's been given a diagnosis at such a young age. It's given us a lot of time to prepare and get him the help he needs. There are still some struggles, and we're learning how to best support him, but he's a happy and healthy kid. That's the most important thing."
As they both pause, reflecting on their son’s progress, a quiet sense of gratitude fills the room. I notice the subtle shift in their expressions—while the joy they share in their child’s growth is evident, there’s also a deeper awareness lingering beneath their words.
“It sounds like you’ve worked hard to get him the care he deserves. But I imagine not every family can navigate that journey as successfully. Have your personal experiences influenced your involvement in advocating for children who aren’t able to receive such services as easily?”
Natasha speaks first. “Absolutely. We know that not every family has access to the resources we’ve been fortunate enough to find. And we’re deeply aware of how broken the system can be—how difficult it can be to get a diagnosis, let alone services.”
“That’s a huge part of why we’ve become so involved in local charities and programs. We wanted to find ways to give back and support those who might not have the same opportunities we’ve had. Some so many children go undiagnosed or whose families can’t afford the therapy or services they need. It’s heartbreaking.” Y/n added. “We’ve partnered with a few organizations that focus on providing evaluations and therapy to kids from low-income families. No child should be left behind because of a lack of resources.”
“It’s about creating equity in care. We’ve also started working with a program that connects families with community support, helping them navigate the same bureaucratic challenges we faced. It’s so important that families don’t feel isolated in these experiences.”
"I imagine there are times when it can be difficult to balance your activism and advocacy work with your responsibilities as parents. How do you strike a balance between being hands-on and present for your children and the work you do for children who aren't yours?"
Natasha nods, her eyes softening. "I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of amazing people over the years, and I've learned a lot from the mothers I've met."
The interview continues for a while after this, they are willing to offer more than we thought at this point.
"Natasha, you’ve made a significant transition from being a covert operative to becoming a beloved public figure. How has this shift impacted your personal identity and daily life? Are there any changes you feel are still needed to create a more balanced world?"
"I'd say I'm more grounded. My priorities are my family, and I've made peace with who I was," Natasha said.
"What has been the most challenging aspect of your reformation, and what have you learned about yourself through this process?"
"Honestly, learning to be comfortable in my own skin," Natasha replied, her tone thoughtful. "I spent so many years trying to run away from who I was, and now I'm learning how to accept myself for who I am. It's a process, and it's not always easy, but it's worth it."
"Do you see yourself as a different person today than you were a few years ago? It's really a task to go from Avenger and spy to mother and housewife. If so, how would you describe those changes, and what role have your personal experiences played in shaping them?"
“Absolutely, I’m a different person now,” Natasha said, her gaze thoughtful. “The shift from a life of constant action and secrecy to one focused on family and personal growth has been profound. I’ve gone from being a figure in the shadows to someone who finds joy in the simplicity of daily life. The experiences I’ve had, both the triumphs and the struggles, have shaped me into someone who values authenticity and connection over secrecy and solitude.”
“It’s been a journey of rediscovering who Natasha is beyond her past roles. I’ve seen her grow into someone who truly cherishes family life and finds purpose in being present. The transformation hasn’t been easy, but it’s been incredibly rewarding.”
As Natasha finishes her thought, there’s a brief silence, the weight of her words hanging in the air. Her transformation has clearly been a deeply personal journey, but it's one that also impacts the life she and Y/n have built together.
“Your personal growth is so evident, and it's clear that family plays a huge role in that. Speaking of family, you’ve chosen to live in a nondescript town for safety reasons. How has this decision affected your family life and your sense of community?”
Natasha and Y/n exchange a quick look, both understanding the unique circumstances that brought them to this quiet, unassuming place.
“It’s been a big adjustment, honestly. We chose this town because it offers us a level of privacy and security that’s hard to come by, given Natasha’s past and our family’s unique needs.”
Natasha: “At first, it was difficult. I mean, going from the world we knew—constantly on the move, always in high-pressure situations—to a quiet, suburban life was a huge shift,” she admitted, her expression softening. “But it’s given us a chance to just... breathe. To focus on our kids and our life together without the constant worry of the spotlight or danger.”
“And as for the sense of community, it’s been surprisingly strong. People here don’t pry. They respect our privacy, but they’ve been incredibly supportive. Our children are growing up with a sense of normalcy that we never really had back in New York."
“It sounds like this decision has given you a lot—both the space to focus on your family and a deeper connection to your community. Looking ahead, what are your goals and aspirations for your family and your individual careers?” I commented.
“For our family, I think the biggest goal is to continue creating a stable, loving environment for our kids. We want them to grow up feeling safe, supported, and like they can be whoever they want to be. We’ve faced so many challenges together, but our focus is on moving forward as a unit.”
“Yeah, it’s all about giving them the opportunities we didn’t have growing up. Whether that’s through education, or just being there for them every day. As for careers, I’m still figuring it out, honestly,” Natasha added with a laugh. “I’ve spent most of my life doing one thing, and now that chapter’s closed. But I’m not in a rush. I’m more focused on being present for the kids, supporting Y/n, and maybe finding ways to give back—whether through advocacy or community work.”
“I’m continuing with my legal work, but the focus is more on balancing that with family. We’ve talked about doing more together, maybe starting a foundation to support families with children who need additional services, like our son. That’s something we’re both passionate about.”
Natasha: “We’ve both changed so much over the years, and I think our goals have evolved too. Right now, it’s about keeping our family grounded and finding meaningful ways to contribute to the world.”
As our conversation wound down, Natasha and Y/n shared a look that spoke volumes—an unspoken understanding that their lives, once dominated by secrecy and survival, had shifted into something more tender, more hopeful. They thanked me for the thoughtful questions, and I couldn't help but admire the quiet strength that radiated between them. It was clear that their bond had weathered many storms and that their family was the center of everything they did.
As I left their nondescript home, nestled safely away from the chaos that defined much of Natasha’s earlier years, I couldn’t help but think of the millions of fans who’ve followed her journey from mysterious spy to dedicated mother and advocate. Online, the love for Natasha and Y/n is as strong as it is in person, with fans showing unwavering support for their family.
On Twitter, the response to their candidness in interviews like this one is overwhelming:
@MarvelFanGirl99: “Natasha Romanoff’s transformation is so inspiring. From Avenger to mom of six? She’s proof you can rebuild your life no matter where you start. #RoleModel”*
@JusticeForNatasha: “Hearing Natasha talk about her family is everything. She deserves all the happiness in the world after everything she’s been through. So proud of her! ❤️ #StrongMom”*
@YNatasha4Life: “Y/n and Natasha are the definition of power couple goals. The way they’ve built a life together and support each other? I’m emotional. #LoveWins”*
@AutismAdvocates: *“Kudos to Natasha and Y/n for speaking openly about their son’s autism diagnosis. Representation matters, and their advocacy for services is so important. #Awareness”*
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eastwindmlk · 1 month
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Did this just pop into my head this morning and did i write this instead of cleaning? yes and yes. But here is a slightly longer something for today. 1k for Jilyweek. Hosted by @kay-elle-cee and @sunshinemarauder
Petunia had been right. This was not a sentence Lily thought often, at least, not as she got older and her sister had drifted further and further away. Her views follow the same trajectory. Just thinking about it made Lily’s heart ache.
But she’d had a real point the last time the sisters met. “It’s easier like this. I can’t remember the last time I had time to wash my hair,” she explained after Lily had commented on her new, sleek bob cut. Which Petunia had undoubtedly modelled after Lady Di, completing her royal look with their mother’s double string of pearls and the chubby, red-faced infant pressed to her chest.
Harry was two weeks old now and Lily had forgotten what the inside of their bathroom looked like. She always found something to do. Even when, or maybe especially when, her husband told her to rest. Guilt gnawing at her while he maintained the house, did their groceries and indulged her strange cravings, like roasting her chicken at ten in the morning or somehow producing fresh chocolate chip cookies while she fed Harry at three.
All this while, she could not even manage to wash and brush her hair regularly. Lily kept the tangles hidden in a bun that also served to keep the greasy strands away from grabby hands. It was fine. It was something she would deal with when… Well, sometimes she was certain.
This thought persisted until one fateful four in the morning she couldn’t take it anymore. Shifting uncomfortably, itching at her scalp and cringing at the coarseness of her usually soft hair. Lily carefully moved out of James’ arms, cursing the creaking floorboard that was far too close to the crib while she sneaked out.
She rummaged through the kitchen drawer until she found a pair of scissors which she marched to the bathroom. Lily tried to not pay too much attention to how tired her reflection looked, her fingers carefully working the hair elastic free from where it had twisted into the infernal knots that were driving up the wall.
Eventually resorting to pulling at it hard, yelping when the elastic snapped but finally free from her hair. Though it seemed to do very little to move the mess. Scissors in hand, Lily had the urge to just start hacking away and clean up whatever she had left after.
If it had not been for the sleepy voice from the hallway she might have done it too. “Lils? What are you doing?” James’ voice was adorably raspy with sleep and it soothed the fire in her veins enough to nudge the door open to let him in. He rubbed his eyes against the light, blinking the world into focus as his eyes landed on the scissors in her hand. “what are you going to do with those?”
Lily swallowed, clicking them open and shut for a moment before her shoulders sagged in defeat. “Cutting my hair,” she admitted a little sheepishly and watched his features shift through the five stages of grief before settling on concern.
“Any reason in particular?”
It was a fair question and one that she could not really answer with anything more than a non-committal shrug. “It’s a mess and I don’t have the energy to sort it out,” she admitted after a moment of consideration and once more raised the scissors up to start hacking away.
James appeared in the mirror behind her while his fingers wound around her hand. “Darling,” he cautioned and her eyes met him in the reflection. “Do you want help sorting out your hair? If you still want to cut it off after that we’ll get you to a hairdresser.” His fingers slipped down, fingers skimming her wrist and came to rest on her shoulder.
The reflection grew blurry with tears feeling his thumb rub soothing circles into her shoulder blade. She drew in a shaky breath in the hopes of keeping her emotions in check. Something that had proven rather difficult ever since Harry, the pregnancy has wreaked havoc on her restraint. Her heart was on her sleeve whether she wanted it to be or not.
“You’re already doing so much, I c-can’t ask you to sort out my bloody hair too.” She tried to refuse, placing the scissors on the sink with a metal clang. “It’s too much.”
“Nothing is too much, Lily,” he answered so immediately it was almost jarring. “If anything, I am sorry I did not notice it before.” She felt his lips kiss away the tears that rolled down her cheek and his hands steered her towards the bathtub.
With a flick of his wand, it filled and the soothing scent of lavender and oleander swirled around her. Tempting her into the warm water. “I suppose if you insist.” With that, she slipped into the the tub, her body more achy than she had realized before.
With patient fingers silently worked through the knots in her hair, not once did he so much as mention the mess it was. He just worked, slowly and methodically. Lulling her into a meditative state, more restful than she had been for months. Before she knew it the small window started to filter in cool morning light. Which was the only indication of how long they’d been there.
Lily shifted, trying to turn to James to look at him and maybe suggest he take a break. That she could still just cut it all off. But then she realized something. His fingers were slowly running through her locks, smooth and soft. “One more minute. Just need to rinse and you’re good as new.”
Her hand shot up, fingers sliding through with ease. She combed her fingers through once, twice and then again. “Oh, James,” she sighed, her voice trembling with emotion. She could not express how much this meant to her. Lily swallowed the tightness in her throat, her fingers brushing the back of his hand gingerly. “Thank you.”
James lifted her hand up to his lips, kissing her fingertips and she could hear the gentle smile in his voice as he simply answered. “I love you.”
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browneyedboys · 1 year
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will you walk me home
you can find my other work here!
Pairing: rafe cameron x reader
Warnings: cursing, frat parties, light discussion of alcohol, overall fluff (let me know if you find something else)
Word count: 2.3K
Synopsis: Second chance encounters with Rafe Cameron lead to discussions of fate and the idea of what happens when you go to frat parties. (second part to libraries after midnight)
a/n: okay so maybe this will be a series?! I'm having fun with this concept and I still promise nothing, feedback is always appreciated! 
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The next time you see Rafe Cameron, only a few days later, you’re celebrating. The conclusion of midterms means that you’re slightly less stressed on a daily basis, a cause for celebration. You manage to convince Paige, your big, and some other girls to go to a Phi Gam party with you, only slightly hoping to run into your favorite golden boy. 
An hour or so passes and you’ve managed to go from sober to a flushed, giggling mess. Alcohol always manages to get your blood pumping to exactly where you don’t want it. The loud bass booms through the house and seems to come to rest in your lungs. It’s as they’ve developed their own beat. The slightly suffocating feeling manages to suck you back into reality; you need some air.
“I’m going to step outside for a few minutes,” you call to Paige, watching as she nods and turns to some of your sisters you both had been dancing with before. Shoving through the crowd, you pick up on the panicky feeling in your chest. There are too many people close to you, it’s too loud, and you’ve already had a big week. 
You finally reach the back door of the house, pulling it open in time to quell your beating heart. You usually excel in social situations, well at least enough to where you enjoy yourself. It seems with the intensity of the week a party wasn’t the best idea. Finding purchase on a brick retaining wall, you bring your knees to your chest and settle your head into the space between. The 4-7-8 count of breath that you learned for your anxiety helps a bit. 
Four seconds you breathe in, seven you hold it in, eight you let it go. Crowds never were your thing. Alcohol never really lets you free, it just makes you more giggly or sad, depending on the week. This week it leaned more towards the latter and the crowd around you came crashing down. 
“Hey, you okay?” You’re pulled from your breathing exercise, and in consequence from your thoughts. Lifting your head out of your knees, you find the perfect picture of Rafe standing before you. He holds a drink in his hand, his eyebrows pulled together as he maintains his gaze on you. Blinking, you extract your gaze from him, returning to your shell. 
You nod, a bit too quickly to be convincing, then resume your attempt to regain your breath. “I just…” you pause, marveling at the breeze on your arms, “I’ve never really gotten used to being in a crowd of people yet never feeling more lonely, you know?”
Rafe exhales, you watch him shift foot to foot through the little crack between your legs. His feet then step and disappear as you feel the warmth that radiates off of him settle beside you. A hand comes to rest between your shoulder blades, thumb tracing the juts of your spine. 
It’s so quiet behind the booming house you can nearly hear his breathing. You make your best effort to match your own breath to the rhythmic pace of Rafe’s thumb. As it swoops up the valley of your spine you pull air in, down you purse your lips and exhale. Little else seems to pull your thoughts from how nice it is to find peace in another person’s presence.
You’re so used to putting on a front or willing more energy to meet the expectations of others. All your life, it has felt like only a select few people truly manage to see how you are. Unbothered in the natural state, you feel at ease with this boy you’ve only really talked to twice. It’s an entirely cliche thought — but it feels like you’ve known him your whole life. You’re not sure if romantic soulmates exist but they have to in some capacity. People just seem to fit together in such unique ways, it can’t be only a billion coincidences. 
It would crush your soul to learn that the little connections in daily life happen due to mere circumstance. Like people on their deathbed call out to god — you can’t go about your life with no strings. It’s a terrifying thought that nothing draws people together. Fate has to exist. 
“What’s pulling you from life?” Rafe voices barely louder than a whisper. The rises and falls of his speech fits right in with the atmosphere around the two of you. 
You lift your head from your legs, resting your chin on your knees. You tilt your head to the side until you’ve squished your cheek just slightly, taking in the way Rafe’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Does it freak you out how many people live on this spinning ball? How every decision you make affects the entire trajectory of your life? How you could pass by the person you belong with because of something stupid?”
“Woah,” Rafe exhales, softly grinning at you, “That’s a minor crisis, I try not to think about everything too much. It’s so much easier to go about day to day life not in my own brain but sometimes I do think about that. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, even something stupid.”
You nod along with his words, if anything, Rafe seems to agree with you. 
“I mean even just me walking out here at the moment when I saw you could be seen as some twist of fate. It’s really easy to get lost in the world at times but I try to not overthink everything. How would you even know that they’re the person you belong with until you take the time to get to know them.”
“But fate has to play a part, right?” You question, lifting your head from your knees. You shift to sit like a pretzel carefully balanced on the wall. 
The uncertainty of your voice throws Rafe for a loop. This version of you is starkly different to the girl who told off his dad a few days ago. The crease between your eyebrows beckons him to solve all your problems like you tried to do for him. With a gentle manner, he smooths out the creases with his thumb. “That’s up for you to decide, honey. If fate is something that makes you feel better about the world then there is no harm in believing in it. What’s the difference between believing in fate and believing in a god? Both offer the same reassurances about what we don’t know.”
“Sometimes it feels like I don’t know a whole lot.” You murmur, the air gains a chill as your words leave your lips. October means the changing of the seasons and a whole lot of things to look forward to, but right now it's all a bit too much. Life feels so demanding. 
Rafe’s thumb traces your brow, pausing on your temple. Warmth cascades down the side of your face before his hand eventually settles, cupping your jaw. “You don’t have to know anything,” Rafe hums, “I mean you’re what, 20? You still have the rest of your life to figure it out.”
“I’m usually a giggly drunk,” you complain, leaning into the warmth of his hand on your face. Your eyes flutter every so slightly as the week seems to catch up to you. It’s so nice to have somebody out here with you. It would be too cold on your own. Even the pause between your own speech feels right. You don’t overthink your every movement around the golden boy. “What happened to me?”
The weight of your head in his hand prompts Rafe to shift closer to you. Your knee overlaps his thigh as you lean into his touch. “I’m sure you’ve had a long week; you’re probably exhausted and then you got overstimulated in there.” He’s so tempted to draw you into his arms and never let you go. He could spend a lifetime protecting you, like the way you did against his dad. “Maybe you should get some rest, call it an early night from the thrills of Phi Gam.” He proposes when the moments when your eyes are closed outweigh the moments they’re open. Rafe feels a new tug in his chest. He thinks an invisible string might tie your pinky to his. 
Your eyes meet his. You trace the shadows across his face, sharply contrasting to how he looked the last time you saw him. Maybe if you spend enough time noting the way he looks at you you’ll understand what it is you're feeling. The feeling that prompts you to ask, “Can you walk me home again?” 
Rafe’s quick to agree, with a short, “Of course, honey.” It turns your insides gooey like his term of endearment. You could get used to Rafe’s company. As you both stand, his hands leave a cold trail in their absence. 
The boom of the party increases as you make your way back towards the house. The lawn, green in the way that only money can achieve, is littered with far more people than when you first pushed through the doors. Perhaps everyone realized just how suffocating the air is inside. You glance over your shoulder as you step back inside, double checking that Rafe is behind you. Or maybe it's just an excuse to take another glimpse at the golden boy. The too warm air rushes into your lungs. It stinks of too many bodies who are at least a little wasted. 
He smiles at you, dropping his lips to your ear. “Do you need to make your rounds and say goodbye?” Rafe’s whisper elicits goosebumps. You shake your head; you can just text Paige that you went home. It’s not like you’re the designated driver or that you were incredibly drunk. It’s too loud for you to vocalize your entire thought process so you just continue through the house. Rafe’s hand find’s purchase on the small of your back as the people get denser. His thumb resumes its pace from earlier, moving back and forth. 
Rafe has come to recognize the scrunch between your eyebrows as a stress indicator. Watching the way it dissolves slightly as he guides you through the house, only for your brows to pull together as a person stills your path. Preston, Rafe’s fraternity brother stands in front of the pair of you. 
“Cameron!” Preston calls out. “I’ve missed you buddy. Where’ve you been?” He sways back and forth with the constitution of a giraffe. Rafe has always had a soft spot for Preston; they went through rush together and endured some stupid shit. He is the closest thing that Rafe has to a family out here. 
“Hey Preston, I’m going to walk Cory home and then I’ll be back okay. We can hang out after that.” Rafe answers in what he hopes will be both his first and last response. He can tell you just want to go home. 
Your eyes follow Preston as he stills, seemingly realizing that you’re right in front of him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Cory, Rafe’s asked me a hundred questions about you since that one night.” The implication of his statement hangs in the air, swirling with the idea of Rafe thinking of you as much as you think of him. 
“Oh, it’s great to meet you too!” You flash him a smile before glancing over your shoulder, wanting nothing more than to catch Rafe looking even a little bit flustered. It’s nice to know that you’re not the only one a little hung up on your shared interactions. Rafe meets your eyes with a faint grin. He doesn’t look pink but you miss the way he shook his head when Preston said what he did. He’s had a few seconds to recover, for which he is eternally grateful. 
“Well good night,” you duck around Preston, who has grown distracted by the lights dancing across the ceiling. Once you make it to the front of the house your idea of the night comes crashing back on you. Midterms and their conclusion was supposed to mean a break from the chaos that is your life but you seem to attract just a bit of chaotic energy wherever you go. 
The air has grown chillier in the few minutes you made your way through the frat house, or perhaps you got used to the stale air inside. Either way goosebumps creep up your arms, something Rafe notices with a surprising amount of speed. He shifts closer to you as you walk towards Pi Phi’s house, moving his arm from your back to your shoulders. He draws you ever so slightly towards him. 
Something about the ease you seem to instill in him causes Rafe to be a bit more direct. “Preston really did just call me out, but he’s right, in all his tipsy truth, I do like you…”
His honesty catches you off guard. “Rafe.” The short walk concludes as the pair of you draw on the start of the walkway to your house. You step out of his bubble, “I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupts with a finger gracing your lips, it tugs your bottom lip with a comforting heaviness, “I just wanted you to know. You’ve had a long night and I’m sure you need a few days to process everything. Goodnight Cory.” Rafe takes a step back from you, his finger falling from your mouth. He hesitates just out of reach. 
Against his better judgment he quickly takes a step forward and presses a chase kiss on your forehead. Warmth blooms from the spot where his lips made contact long after his figure retreats back to his frat house. It stays even after you wash your face and put on your matching pajama set. In bed you trace the spot with a memory, smiling yourself into a dream filled night. 
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fluttershyflores2 · 5 months
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Me, jealous? Of course not part 1 - part 2
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Arriving at the entrance gates, he stops for a moment to look around, realizing he hasn't gone too far, clutching his head, wondering why she would leave with Redson, at what moment did they meet, he doesn't understand anything! Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, what's wrong with you, Mk, you're not like this...what is this feeling in his chest, it's as if something is squeezing his heart at the thought of her being with Redson.
But what is he feeling now? Clenching his fists, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, he doesn't like this feeling!, he repeats many times, they are just friends although...he feels that pleasant warmth being with her, training together, talking, and the adventures they've had together, not alone but she has always been by his side.
He starts walking along the sidewalk, closing his eyes, calming down a bit, it's okay, Mk, just ask her why she's leaving, opening his eyes using his golden vision, he visualizes (Y/n) and Redson in the distance.
Mk: There they are! - he thinks and starts running towards them -.
As he gets closer to them, he stops from exhaustion, leaning on his knees trying to regain his energy.
Mk: (Y/n)!! - he shouts with all his might -.
(Y/n) stops walking upon hearing him and turns to look at him, meeting Mk's gaze, who just observes her.
(Y/n): Mk, why are you here? - confused -.
Redson: Were you following us, noodle boy? - he complains -.
Mk, tired from running, tries to formulate the words.
Mk: Why...are you leaving?...- sad -.
(Y/n): The truth is, Mk, that...- Redson interrupts her -.
Redson: She was just bored of the games, noodle boy, nothing to worry about, she got bored, left, and ran into me, end of story. - rolls his eyes - that's why I invited her to my house.
Mk: B-but...
Redson: You don't understand! She just wants to go with me and that's it! - his hair bursts into flames -.
(Y/n): Hey! Don't talk to him like that - she exclaims annoyed, then turns to look at Mk - I'll only be gone for a while, then I'll come back to continue having fun with the games - trying not to tell the truth -.
Mk: oh...that's all it is - forcing a smile - it's okay.
(Y/n): I'll try not to be late, I promise - she tells him before starting to walk with Redson -.
Mk: Alright... - smiling a little - GOOD LUCK!
Turning his back, Redson casually puts his arm around (Y/n)'s shoulder, suddenly looks at Mk with a mocking smile, surprising Mk with the gesture, seeing that the guardian didn't reject him discourages him a little. Crestfallen, he decides to return to The Anti-Gravity Arcade, leaving the place without knowing that the girl removed Redson's arm from her shoulder.
(Y/n): Don't touch me - she says -.
Redson: Oh, sorry - crossing his arms behind his back -.
They continue walking together, (Y/n) maintaining her mocking smile. Mk, on the other hand, can't help but feel a knot in his stomach at Redson's attitude and (Y/n)'s reaction towards him, as he walks away, he tries to forget about the whole episode and focus on other things.
🎮◇🎮◇🎮◇🎮◇🎮◇🎮◇🎮◇🎮
Determined to spend time at The Anti-Gravity Arcade, Mk wanders the streets aimlessly, his mind wandering between confused thoughts and mixed emotions. On one hand, he feels a stabbing pain in his heart at the thought of (Y/n) and Redson together, but he also feels a sense of frustration at not understanding what is really happening.
After a while of walking, he finally reaches the arcade, the vibrant atmosphere and cheerful music of the place provide him with some calmness, Mk heads straight to the game room and immerses himself in his own bubble of fun, gripping the controls of the machines and diving into the challenge of each game.
With each hit, jump, and victory, Mk manages to free his mind from confusion and his heart from sadness, he completely immerses himself in the world of video games, letting adrenaline and excitement envelop him completely, problems and worries are left behind, at least for that moment.
Time flies by, and as the flashing lights of the machines shine around him, Mk is surprised to realize how much he has immersed himself in the games but, at that moment, he also realizes something else, despite the intensity of the competition and the thrill of the victories, there is still a hole in his heart.
With a mixture of determination and melancholy, Mk leaves the arcade behind and sets out on the way back, the thought of (Y/n) and Redson together still lingering in his mind, but now there is also something clearer, he can't just stand idly by, he has to find answers, clarify his feelings, and discover the truth behind all this.
Convinced that he can't ignore what he feels, Mk promises himself that he won't let doubts and confusion consume him, if he really wants to understand what's going on and fight for what he wants, he'll have to face his fears and talk to (Y/n) face to face.
With firm steps and a heart full of determination, Mk moves forward into the future, ready to face whatever is necessary to find the truth and regain peace in his heart.
. . .
will continue...maybe
(Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, like I said, I speak Spanish and I'm still studying to learn English, let me know if there are any mistakes, thank you)
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alchemie-tarot · 2 years
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Words of Hope and Healing
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Hi! I meant to accomplish this way earlier but my Pisces season had me prioritize the easygoing flow of my energy. Anyway, even if you may have doubled down on your Aries energy, I hope you still find something good for you here. 🦋
Feel free to choose the pile/s that call out to you. Some details may not resonate with you since this is a general reading. As always, nothing is set in stone, so please don’t take it too seriously.
As usual, a little background about the pictures for this pile: my mom got me these Tiny Tan figurines for my birthday. This mini photoshoot I put them in is for one of my college classes. I have around 36 other pictures of them posing around the house, lmao.
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Pile 1
Cards: The Magician, 9 of Cups, Temperance, Page of Cups
You’re making your dreams come true, Pile 1– make no mistake about that. You really dug deep into yourself to manifest those goals and dreams that you deeply long for, and what a power you just uncovered. You’re right in the thick of it and doing everything you possibly can to make them a reality. There is this optimistic and go-getter outlook you have that’s so bright it’s almost blinding.
Your dreams are such a big part of you, but remember that these are not the only things that define you. What matters is how you feel about it. Have you been pushing yourself to the point of putting your health at risk? Please take some time to sit and slow down. Listen to what your body is saying. It has done nothing but carry you, heal your wounds, and rejuvenate itself from fatigue your whole life. Be careful not to do too much too soon. 
Yes, a “dream” or a “goal” can definitely elevate how you see yourself or live your life, but it all depends on what each of us wants, right? These dreams don't need to be shiny or grand. You could be called as a torchbearer that leads the way to progress. You could also be a creator. You could also simply want a space you can call your own. You can simply be someone’s warmth and comfort, or your own. You can simply be, and that’s enough.
Close your eyes for a minute. Rest, and find assurance that the rest of the world is moving even if you sit still. Now, your emotions will tell you a lot more than you may realize. I’ll ask again: how do you feel about it? Are you scared of being too distracted by these feelings? It’s natural. Go with your flow. In a world where dreams have the nature of fire, it’s important to be like water, too, and listen to what you feel. That’s how your dreams will come to you.
= = =
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Pile 2
Cards: Knight of Wands, 2 of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, 3 of Cups
You’re full of passion without a doubt, but you seem to lack direction at the moment. I feel like you’re trying to be adaptable, balancing two or even multiple things at once. You seem to want a lot of things and your first impulse is to charge at it, full steam ahead… until you maybe see something else and change your mind. The thing is, scattered focus and efforts make for scattered results. There’s a Filipino term for this called “urong sulong,” which means to move forward then move backward. It basically describes being unable to decide if you will act towards something or not.
I see this energy taking you places, Pile 2. This drive and enthusiasm is your strength, but too much of something, anything, can be a weakness. It could burn you out. I have a feeling that you know this already because it has manifested itself like that sometimes. There’s only so much effort your body can devote to many things at the same time.
Do you keep most of your pursuits to yourself? I feel like that’s the main reason why doing these multiple things is hard to maintain. There’s a message here to be among friends, people you trust and share the same vision as you. If there’s someone in your mind who you may have felt like reaching out to after reading this, this is definitely a sign to reach out. It’s safe to lean on them, Pile 2! 
Send a message, talk over a meal or take a walk together. They’ll help you, maybe even teach you a thing or two. If some part of your brain is denying this, I’m telling you, it’s clear from the cards that they would willingly share this burden. Someone is, I promise. Spending time with them is definitely gonna reveal something about handling your inner fire better. Soon, it will be something you can wield in your hand and use well to your benefit. The picture of this pile is the only one with two figurines, too.
= = =
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Pile 3
Cards: 4 of Swords, Ace of Cups, 7 of Swords, Judgment, Knight of Cups
I’ve been seeing piles more often that can’t seem to catch a break, and you’re one of them, Pile 3. Rest has not been coming easy to you lately, even when you’re just sitting down or lying in bed. Sure, your physical body is still, but your thoughts are anything but at ease. You don’t run out of scenarios to play in your head, don’t you? You have been thinking about things you are feeling strongly about. For a lot of you, this may also be something really new that you’re quite unsure how to really deal with on your own. Whatever this is, it’s making you restless.
You’re letting your imagination get the best of you, Pile 3. I feel like this new thing that has entered your life is an opportunity to deeply heal your soul and spirit. I know, right now nothing about it feels remotely good or soothing like you would envision healing to feel like. Well, sometimes it can feel pretty sharp to acknowledge something uncomfortable or even painful. Sometimes it can feel like a flood that’s rising and threatening to drown you. 
It can feel paralyzing to face this but I promise that reaching the other side is worthwhile. In order to do that, first things first, is to get away from the thoughts that come up and blur reality. Nip them in the bud. There needs to be a deliberate attempt to stop. Wake yourself up and be intentional about it. It’s fine if you have to slightly trick your brain by focusing your attention on something else or by looking at it from a different angle– even if this method is something you find yourself out of character for doing (as long as it’s in alignment with your morals and highest good, of course!) 
Slow down. Take it step by step. You’re being urged to take this consistently, and you will soon see how much it has changed your life. You may still have moments, but what once felt unbearable will feel lighter to carry. You’ll be more confident to deal with them if you need to. Breathe easy, Pile 3, and know that you’re no longer in danger of letting this overpower you.
= = =
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Pile 4
Cards: King of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, 6 of Wands
Uh-oh, I sense some kind of heavy energy around you. It feels like a disciplinary person. Someone bearing down on what you’ve been doing and working on. The type to hover over your shoulder and pick on the tiniest details. I don’t think they come from a place of malice, though, but nonetheless, this presence takes a toll on you. For those who don’t really have a person in mind, it could be your self-talk or thoughts. You’re being hard on yourself and are either oblivious to the effect it has on you, or you’re hoping this would toughen you up for better.
I feel that this sharp energy has a way with words. Words that made a mark on you. Listen, Pile 4, they may sound like the authority, but know that these words do not define you. You know why? I feel that you and this person clash about having different ways of approaching things. They seem more traditional, valuing speed the most in accomplishing their tasks. You, however, seem to be on the slow and steady side. You take your time and keep your eyes open for innovation. The way I see it, there’s no “better” method. It’s just that you use whatever suits you best.
Whatever method you’ve been using to conduct your work, know that it is okay. Even if you aren’t anywhere near completion and there may still be a lot to be done, it should not be a reason to be guilty of taking a break. Your body needs it because it looks out for you. Remember that you are a living, breathing human being and not a machine– and even machines need their regular maintenance, don’t they? Go on and admire all the progress you’ve made.
I know that it doesn’t really change the fact that you’re still exposed to this energy and causes you frustration, my dear Pile 4. Let it all out in your safe space, the pent-up resentment. Tell a loved one about it. Cry about it if you have to. If you’re worried that it will always be like this, let me tell you that that will not be the case. You’re already near the end of this miserable situation. You will be successful– I see a victory with flying colors, in fact. Just a little more, and it will turn out better than you expected.
= = =
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Pile 5
Cards: 9 of Pentacles, Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, The Hermit Rx, 2 of Swords Rx
Hi, Pile 5. Right off the bat, there is an “I’m older now but I don’t really feel like an adult” vibe. When it comes to material pursuits, you got the goods. You’re in a financially prosperous period of your life. I applaud you because you worked really hard to gain that independence. However, whatever security you have in the external, it’s quite the opposite with the internal. 
You may feel like you don’t have much experience about genuine connections and getting yourself out there socially. A lot of you may also still feel like a child when it’s about matters of the heart, especially love and romance. You may have focused too much on establishing yourself in your career, or have not had the time to explore what emotionally fulfills you. There are also vibes of discovering how lonely it is at the top because there’s no one beside you to share it with.
Chin up, Pile 5, it’s never too late to find your people. The best way to feel less clueless or intimidated about it is to get more used to it. Don’t worry too much about feeling awkward and even silly if you fumble with a new interaction– that means you’re getting out of your comfort zone. Whether you started out naturally or not, you learn! It’s all part of the experience and an important step for you to feel more aligned to your soul, I feel. You may not realize it, but there are people around you who find you interesting and would like to get to know you more.
Try to get out of your head and stop second guessing yourself. I feel like you’re prone to psyching yourself out of it. Channel that laser focus you used for your career because it could help you for this one, too. Dip your toes in the water, take your time, and you’ll soon build up that confidence.
= = = 
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Pile 6
Cards: 4 of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Wands
Hey, Pile 6. I get that you’re the type to hold your cards close to your chest. You’re quite protective of yourself, your things, and your space. You appear closed off to people and you kind of prefer the peace that comes with it. You don’t seem the most receptive to change. In fact, I see that you’re prone to lash out in some form to those who try to force it on you. You then come off intense, impulsive and could even be explosive when provoked. You have a hard time reacting in a manner that is a middle ground between these two energies.
Why do you feel the need to put up these walls? Do you have a difficult time trusting or believing that people mean well? Is there a feeling of lack that you’re trying to get ahead of? If you have experienced being severely misunderstood or taken advantage of in the past, then I am sorry to hear that, Pile 6. However, I can see that opening up to these new people will be beneficial for you. You would not need to worry about losing what you currently have because the cards indicate that letting others in will multiply the good and beautiful things you call yours and even strengthen your feelings of security.
This is not an easy thing to overcome at all, but I hope that you’ll be fair to yourself and give it a try once more. It’s not just a matter of giving them a chance– it is also about giving you a chance, and that is a recovery that is always worth it. Believe me, they will help you find the balance you need. You will breathe more easily and control more gracefully the fire that you have. From a stone-cold wall, you will turn into a blossoming flower.
= = =
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Pile 7
Cards: Knight of Cups Rx, The Chariot, Page of Cups, 10 of Pentacles, 7 of Wands
You seem to be caught between a rock and a hard place. There is something here about two separate things that are very different from one another and that you both attachments to. For some reason, I’m getting that these two things can never mix and the dilemma is that you’re having a hard time choosing one over the other. You want to keep close to both and be on good terms with both sides at the same time, but instead of feeling the “peace” you’re trying to keep, it ends up costing your energy.
Are you concerned about having conflict or missing out on either side that you would rather run back and forth between them? Not gonna lie, Pile 7, but in the process of doing that, you’re quickly losing touch of yourself. Your integrity is on the line here. I’m getting a strong vibe of people-pleasing for a lot of you, and while I believe wanting to be on good footing with various energies can be practical and simply be out of pure intentions, it’s not a good look for you in this case. 
I sense some healing needs to be done from the strong emotions you have experienced or are experiencing that push you to be untrue to yourself. You have set this aside for far too long and you need to make a decision about this once and for all. Go back to the basics. You need to be by yourself and figure out who you’re really aligned with or what you really stand for. Think about it: in whose presence do you feel more in flow with? This step will lead you to feel way more stable and the most assured you have ever been.
Granted, choosing one may likely dampen your favor from the other, but it will not be something you will be defenseless to. I see that you will be emboldened by whatever you end up deciding on. Both of your feet are planted on the ground. A newfound determination to stand firm awaits you on the other side.
= = = 
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Pile 8
Cards: The Star, 8 of Wands, 3 of Cups, 10 of Wands
You seem to be at a point where you feel that things are happening incredibly fast, right here and right now. I feel like you’re already quite sure about the things that you want. You have pinpointed them and done the work, or are currently nose-deep doing the work. I see action plans popping up, being laid out, and then moving along in your head at a dizzying speed. The harder you work, the brighter your dreams shine for you. Wow! Your energy is fresh and exhilarating. 
This pile has one of the most straightforward pieces of advice I have received. Work hard and play hard, that’s what the cards point you to.Whatever you’re trying to achieve, Pile 8, know that it’s just around the corner for you. I offer you my congratulations in advance! I suppose the only other thing I sense for you is that you may end up pushing yourself a little too much. With your growth at an accelerated pace, you run the risk of being overwhelmed and burnt out. Take the time to breathe and check if you’re doing okay from time to time, alright? 
Plans and dreams and everything, but remember that you are still the most valuable thing in your life. Don’t forget about the rest of your surroundings, too. Do whatever needs to be done, own up to all the heavy lifting necessary to make the dream work, and then take the time to unwind and replenish yourself. You can definitely have it all but it’s important to never lose sight of yourself.
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Thank you for taking the time to interact with my reading! I hope this has helped you in one way or another. Take it easy and stay safe~ 🦋
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Welcome back to another special edition of my astrological chart readings… Today we have Seonghwa.
✦ Disclaimer I do not know him personally, no harm intended, others may interpret differently. I’ve been studying astrology for six years, and I take this seriously and try my best. Feel free to ask any questions you have! This is not a full chart reading, just a couple of interesting things for his birthday.
✦ Sun, Mercury Rx, Mars, Saturn conjunction, Sun conjunct Midheaven in Aries (Tenth House) Quick rundown, when I found out that if you swap the characters in his given name (성화 seong-hwa to become 화성 hwa-seong) and it means Mars, well… Aries is ruled by Mars. They’re inherently connected in astrology as they have the same energy. And he has four planets and his Midheaven all in Aries, which is crazy! Things that seem fated.
Back to the actual analysis. Stelliums, or three or more planets in one sign, are common occurrences. He has two stelliums, one in Aries (Sun, Mercury, Mars, Saturn) and one in Aquarius (Venus, Uranus, Neptune).
There is an overall need to be noticed—he wants to be recognized for whatever he achieves, and he will achieve things because he’s determined enough to and has the iron-clad will to get him through any trials he will come across. Despite this need to be noticed, the Aries Sun thriving in the spotlight, he has a penchant for being sensitive to how others perceive him, thanks to Saturn being here as well. What others say about him matters. He wants to conform, yet he wants to rebel. It will take a while for him to come out of his shell, but when he does, it’s wonderful.
That Mars-Saturn conjunction is the most interesting because it’s the most powerful, the domicile Mars overpowering the exiled Saturn. Someone who is simultaneously afraid of conflict yet constantly testing his will in extreme situations. Impulse vs steadfastness. There are many ways this can be interpreted, though for brevity I will say that part of him will always need to let his individuality out, his need for independence, and there’s a battle against authority going on inside of him at all times.
Mars-Saturn sesquiquadrate Pluto, the patience and depth is astounding… Endurance, survival, in it for the long run. When he devotes himself, he devotes everything he has. He’s all in. He doesn’t know how to do things halfway.
Mercury-Mars conjunction, a quick thinker, though with Mercury in retrograde, it may come out unplanned or not as it should be taken. A little witty, a little silly… Bored easily.
Sun sextile Uranus makes him open to being a little quirky and odd, more willing to associate himself with people who don’t fit in, and that Venus placement emphasizes this, too.
✦ Moon in Cancer (Twelfth House) This is his chart ruler, an overpowering presence in his chart. Moon rules over what is secure, emotions and the presence in the home. Whatever is in 12H bleeds into the collective consciousness—your feelings are his feelings, and he isn’t sure where yours end and his begin. Extremely sensitive to whatever and whoever is around him. There needs to be a…refined aspect to this though. He doesn’t like to deal with anything too unpleasant if he doesn’t have to. It’s good that he has the Aries and Aquarius to offset this, the doers of the zodiac, otherwise he could get too stuck in his own head and avoid confrontation altogether in order to keep the peace. I suppose one could also associate this placement with someone who lives in a chaotic home, many unplanned things happening all at once, though it could also mean someone who wants to maintain a perfect home, perhaps in spite of the chaos. Since Moon and Cancer both are associated with the mother, this could also mean an idealization (12H) of all motherly or homely things.
✦ Venus in Aquarius (Eighth House) I sort of covered this when I did Hongjoong’s chart reading a month ago, but it’s likely that Seonghwa runs very hot and cold with people, very either/or. Venus doesn’t naturally like to be here. He has a lot of walls… Once you’re in his circle, you’re in it permanently—unless you betray him somehow, which would be the ultimate offense. Very protective over others. Uranus in 7H emphasizes the hot-cold of his personality, though he has 7H of one-on-one relationships in Capricorn and 11H of friendships in Taurus, so whatever friendships and relationships he does have are long term. He probably likes to give gifts of some kind to others, an exchange of sorts. “I do this for you, you do this for me.”
✦ Final thoughts Seonghwa is a very passionate and devoted person. He simultaneously wears his heart on his sleeve but keeps his cards close to his chest… Everything must surface eventually though.
I don’t talk about parents because I do not wish to speculate, but I do feel like he’s very similar to his mother in a lot of ways due to all of the planets in tenth house and his Ascendant being in Cancer.
Thank you for reading! You can check out my other chart readings on my blog or on Twitter.
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Random Lyle HCs
These are purely selfish sfw headcanons of my favorite blue boy. I’m not personally really familiar with the Avatar lore so I’m just going off my own imagination on some stuff. Also not sure how I want to go about my smut hc/fic for him so I’m stalling by writing this lol. I’m hoping to have some free time later this week to sit down and write some more, but I can’t make any promises. I’m really torn because all of my writing so far is done with my human oc as the base of my headcanons and I’m not sure if people would read my stuff if I used my oc and not reader inserts. Let me know if you have a preference one way or the other, maybe it’ll help me figure out what to do.
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* Lyle is the type of person who would carry around a picture of someone close to him wherever he goes. The specific picture of you that he carries around? It’s a mirror selfie where you and Lyle are standing in front of the mirror flexing your biceps with a huge grin on both of your faces. Every time he looks at the picture he feels comforted. I don’t feel like the other recoms would make fun of pictures like this because everyone has someone special in their life that they would want by their side during rough moments.
* I feel like Lyle would be the type of person who wouldn’t mind reading, maybe not college textbooks or romance novels. But magazines about cars, fitness, guns, or anything similar? Loves them and reading them is one of his favorite low-energy hobbies.
* Lyle actually thinks most of Pandora’s wildlife is pretty cool. Back on Earth a lot of animals had died out so there really wasn’t anything aside from the occasional house pets. (*Not super familiar with the lore of Avatar’s Earth so idk if this is even accurate but just roll with it*) Obviously has a very healthy fear of most of the things crawling around in the jungle but every time he sees a cool lizard or even those monkeys he always stares for a bit. His favorite animal on Pandora? Ikran, his specifically. He thinks they are dope as hell and loves how vibrant the patterns are. Flying is just an added bonus.
* Still dedicated to his mission but finds his mind wandering about other possibilities such as what would happen if they fail again. He’s weirded out by being in an Avatar body the way it is now and the idea that all his memories are on a data stick in someone’s lab somewhere makes him uneasy. He doesn’t want to die but has the sinking feeling that the RDA would keep bringing everyone back as many times as it would take to finish business so to speak.
* Not one to believe in happy endings, especially after everything he’s been through but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a nice change. Your presence through the readjustment period was a godsend and he’s crossing his fingers that you’ll get to keep in touch even as the mission progresses. Sometimes in the morning, he’ll just stare at you in the kitchen while you make yourself breakfast almost like if he moved his eyes from your frame you would disappear. When you catch him staring you make fun of him a little bit. “I’m not going to share if you keep staring like that.” Or “Why don’t you make yourself useful and start washing some of the dishes if you’re just going to sit there ogling.”
* Doesn’t like sharing even with the other recoms, but he makes an exception for Z-Dog simply because she’s the only one he trusts not to break his stuff. Quaritch is usually a no too surprisingly unless it’s necessary for the mission or to maintain a decent relationship. Gets kind of possessive over his stuff just because he hates when people take his stuff and don’t put it back.
* Lyle likes to listen to music when he’s at home base during his downtime. Whether that’s just by himself in his room, out in the common quarters with the gang, or in the science loft with you while you play your own music. I feel like he’d be the type to like mainly rock music personally, but he doesn’t make too much of a fuss about what other people are playing as long as it’s disrupting the quiet. I could totally see him branching out to metal music when he’s in the gym cuz it hypes him up.
* He’s surprisingly decent at braiding his own hair but insists that you do it when he gets out of the shower. He’ll sit on the floor crisscrossed in front of the couch and nestles between your legs, enjoying the warmth that comes from your skin. Sometimes after a stressful day, you spend a little bit of time massaging the back of his neck and the area around his queue gently and he just about melts every time. Also loves it when you sing to him while you comb and braid his hair.
* Sometimes if he doesn’t want your bonding session to end he’ll purposely make it harder for you by moving or swiveling his head around (to your annoyance). “Seriously, sit still! You are such a toddler. You want your shit fixed or what?” You smack him on the side of his head and he lets out a snort. “I thought we agreed to no hitting outside of the bedroom?” You let out a huff and tug his queue a bit. “I never agreed to that, especially not with how annoying you can be.”
* Hates going up into the science loft since the ceilings are shorter than the main level and he smacks his head into the lights and stuff but does it anyway to spend time with you. He’s a pretty selfish person and prefers to have his time with you be just the two of you. He’ll sit on the floor next to your desk and make small talk with you while you work on your projects. When he thinks you’ve been sitting for too long he makes you get up and go down to the kitchen where he’ll make you a snack and have you do some stretching.
* After a long day of you at your desk he loves to go into your room and stretch out (as best he can) on your bed. You like to complain that he messes up your pillows but you really don’t mind it. Lyle likes to pull you onto the bed with him and squishes you against his chest. When it’s just the two of you he doesn’t bother holding back his purrs because he knows you like them, but in front of the group he does his best to quiet it. You’ll usually stay cuddled up together until it’s dinner time or someone calls for him.
* I also think Avatars have scent glands just like normal kitties so when he rubs up against your belongings like your bed or your clothes he’s literally marking you as yours. As a “scientist,” you already knew about this, but you were a bit surprised to catch Lyle marking up the stuff in your room. He was a bit embarrassed when you caught him the first time, but continues to do it to the annoyance of the other recoms.
* I feel like Lyle wouldn’t mind cooking because it’s a necessary life skill to have and he’s pretty good at it. Hunting on Pandora would be a breeze for him. The fresh meat coupled with the veggies growing from your aquaponics would make a damn good meal. I feel like there are also a lot of weird recipes he follows, kinda like what broke college kids/ prison inmates would do (Ramen noodle burritos anybody?). Loves being able to “provide” for you which sounds silly but is always happy to cook for you, especially when you’re busy doing other things.
* Keeps his belongings and room pretty tidy. He’s not one to leave his stuff lying out which makes rooming with him preferable to the others, as you tend to trip on their stuff when they drop it all over the shack. Lyle catches wind of your annoyance and starts shoving stuff into the recom’s rooms so you have a clean living space to walk through.
* Likes helping you out in the gardens, whether it’s the native Pandoran patch outside the shack or the Earth one inside the outbuilding. You and your friend grow a variety of food found on Earth since you were still learning how to adapt to the foods on this planet. You head out each afternoon to check the crops and scribble notes down about the progress and Lyle likes to sneak strawberries when he thinks you aren’t looking.
* Lyle likes to make himself useful however he can whether that’s doing the heavy lifting, reaching for high objects, or fixing stuff around the shack. Does chores without being told to which was a pleasant surprise when you caught him outside fixing the rainwater basin. Loves helping out even more when you reward him with kisses and praise afterward even if he gets teased for kissing ass from the others.
* Hates when he has to leave for extended periods of time as he’s always worried about your safety out in the wilds. He knows he can’t get out of it so he does what he can to prepare you. “Okay so don’t go outside after dark, if you have to you both leave. One of you needs a gun and keep your-“ “Head on a swivel for any hostiles.” You give a small smile and grab his hand. “I know you’re worried, but we’re gonna be okay. You on the other hand need to promise me you’re going to come back. In one piece.” He squeezes your small hand and does his best to look sincere. “I’m always going to come back to you, no matter what happens.”
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gal-palanaeum · 7 months
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Warmth by Thirstspren
Rated General, 1000 words, Akane/Yumi Yumi settles into her new life and begins to realize there's something missing.
Turns out, running a restaurant was a lot harder than it looked.  Especially when the head server wasn’t great at talking to people, the head chef had only been cooking for a single week, and all the financials existed solely in the brain of a person who was no longer on the same planet.  
(If Design even had a brain.  Yumi still didn’t know what that strange woman was, nor did her old assistants, who had thankfully stayed on to prevent complete disaster.  Except the one who’d fled when the old coatrack had come to life.  Putting up with Design’s oddities had been one thing, but no job was worth putting up with that, he’d said.)
Worse, Painter’s role in saving the city had made him a minor local celebrity, drawing thronging crowds and massive scrutiny, and a clumsy business operation coupled with furious demand was a recipe for failure.  Both feared that all their admiration would last only as long as their patience for late, cold noodles. 
“These (lowly) customers,” Painter groused one night after closing, as they stacked chairs on the tables for sweeping.  “Please tell me I was never this infuriating.”
Yumi balanced a chair on one leg.  “I may no longer be a yoki-hijo, but that has not changed my position on lying,” she said.
Painter laughed, then leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.  The chair toppled.
He winced apologetically and put the chair back the normal inverted way.  “I’m just saying.  I’m an artist.  Why did Design think I’d know how to wait tables?”
Yumi nodded in sympathy.  They both knew he’d get better with practice, but that didn’t ease his frustration in the time being.  
In comparison, she felt a little guilty at how quickly she was improving in her new role.  
They maintained separate residences, because neither felt ready to move in together.  Ironically, sharing a body did not prepare them for sharing an apartment.  Neither could be comfortable at the other’s preferred temperature, for a start.  Fortunately, all the former nightmare painters had been permitted to keep their free housing for a year to ease their transition into a radically changing labor market, and Yumi took over Design’s former quarters in the back of the restaurant, so they didn’t have to worry about rent.
Each night, after they closed, she practiced for long hours, basking in the residual warmth of boiling broth, measuring out herbs and spices and other ingredients until she knew the look and weight of them intuitively, and she could reach for each ingredient without conscious thought.  Meanwhile Painter walked home every night, watching the walls come to life with extraordinary murals commissioned by the government to create work for the unemployed artists.  Artists who weren’t him.   He’d finally gotten his love of painting back, just in time to lose his calling.  Then they’d sleep separately, and in the morning, they’d unite for breakfast and watch a couple shows on the hion viewer at Painter’s apartment.  Yumi would cocoon herself in blankets, and Painter would do his best to snuggle her from the outside.  
It was nice.  But part of her felt like something was missing.  She no longer felt that sizzle of energy when they touched, for starters.  That had been about their condition, she discovered—it hadn’t been about them.  Without the fate of both worlds hanging in the balance and a spirit artificially connecting their souls, Yumi feared she and Painter were falling out of sync.  Like a stone that refused to balance on one side, and needed a different orientation.
Keep reading
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kihaku-gato · 6 months
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hey!! you follow my plantblr (unexpectedplantblr) and i’ve learned so much just off your tags dude. wdym pruning omg i’m so wildly unprepared how and when should i be doing that! i can’t imagine they have yt videos on shit THAT basic do they!?.
and my apples are dwarfs?? i’ve been stressing abt them so close to the house and was trying to find an arborist to help me move them but do you think they’ll be ok with just some root guard? omg i’m so sorry to bug you feel free to ignore!
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There’s no issues and I welcome the asks! This enthusiasm gives me old tumblr days vibes that I think many miss these days lol.
Inevitably most domestic fruiting woody plants need a trim up of pruning for maintenance. Some types don’t need it overall or don’t need it at certain life stages, but those are the lucky cases.
While I’m currently still in the midst of pruning season as of writing this, your photos imply it’s a smidgen late for you to be doing any at all unless it’s either for major issues or dead/diseased wood; it’s generally best to get the pruning before said woody plants leaf out but while they are still dormant to reduce shock, to avoid damaging freshly sprouted growth (since if you’re early enough there’s no leaves to worry about), and keep them wasting energy on wood that’ll be cut off in the process. I recall I got my info on pruning mostly by book literature but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some niche videos on the topic online- there are yt video journals and tutorials for niche fruits like Asimina triloba cultivation/maintenance so surely less exotic stuff would have online tutorials on it. Do try to find more than one source to try to average out the answers they give lest they give different answers or overlook different details (gardening can get subjective sometimes after all). If I recall the rule for Grape vines you try to keep one “lead vine” intact to be the one to produce new yearly branches/shoots that will then produce the grapes.
Fortunately I think you don’t have to worry about any issues with skipping the livewood pruning this year; let this year just help you get more familiar with what you’re dealing with.
For next year I can at least say from my own experience a few points; universally you want to prune to remove dead, damaged, and diseased wood, as well as any branches that crisscross with each other (since those will just make damaged wood from rubbing if allowed to stay), and generally you try to not cut more than a 3rd of the live growth (even if it means you gotta wait next year to fully shape a tree if the pruning work for some reason is major- which is my case with my older unkempt trees) to avoid having the pruning reach deadly amounts (there are exceptions- most Clematis are pruned to extreme amounts most of the time, well established Grapes and Kiwis can have a lot taken off too in certain cases). Oh and big one that newbies can miss; if you're getting tools, try to get bypass type pruning tools, anvil type pruning tools do damage to live wood (since they crush moreso to cut unlike bypass) and are better for exclusively dead/removed wood.
Observe what others do to their trees of similar kind to your own; I learned a little bit on what to do with my own apple trees from seeing what other people have done to their apple trees of similar size in my region.
It’s not easy at first but set goals for what you’re pruning. In my case a good chunk of my apple trees are quite old (we’re talking hollowed-out old for many of these trees), so my goal is generally to help extend their lives as well as fruit production as a bonus, so I try to reduce the sources of major weight burden on the large crumbling branches. Another goal in my case is making it that the branches are not as high up so that they are easier to maintain and harvest from, since yet again, my trees are on the larger/older end of what to expect from an orchard.
While not an option for me consulting Arborists is definitely not a bad option if you’re free to throw the cash.
Pruning rules/goals for your dwarf apple trees will probably be slightly different from what I do for my own trees since you’re dealing with very different growth forms from my own.
I am not 100% certain your apple trees by the house are dwarves but their growth habit feels more like what I’d expect/imagine from dwarf/semidwarf trees; as to what fruit variety it could be a lot of possibilities; apple trees tend to be grafted onto rootstock that affects their hardiness/size, so you could have similar cultivars to what I have for the fruit/scionwood but would definitely have very different cultivars for the rootstock that they are attached to. If the previous owners knew what they were doing they would’ve chosen dwarf roostock cultivars to avoid them becoming troublesome so close to the house.
In my opinion dwarves or not they are a bit big already to risk moving/transplanting away from the house without a painful and risky amount of long (worst case possibly years worth) of aftercare; if that is or was truly an issue you’d be better off getting new rootstock to plant in the new locations and grafting onto them from the house specimens onto those new rootstocks (you can hire/ask experts if you can’t quite do it yourself, we had a family member of a family member help save a heritage cultivar in our orchard by getting some successful grafts from the dying tree. I plan to do some grafting myself down the road I just dk what to graft rn). I am not familiar with root guard, from what I read it's a brand of fertilizer that claims to help stimulate root growth???
Also note with the Cherry/Plum trees mention before; one of the issues for ID sometimes for them is there’s just, a lot of species, a lot hybridize together, and that’s not even considering/factoring in domestic hybrids/cultivars where the diversity can be as wide as it is for apple cultivars. It can really muddy the waters for identification down to the exact kind unless you’re dealing with a very sharp specialist or a very distinct variety, and even then some may struggle with certain cases.
Lucky you to also have something as fancy as a finger lime! I already guessed so but that definitely solidified my guess that you are in a warmer growing zone from me lol.
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coffeewithcutcaffeine · 4 months
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hello! i'm here with the soft ask game <3
4. what flower would you like to be given?
6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).
7. what color brings you peace?
10. what’s something you’re excited for?
12. how are you?
21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?
23. favorite piece of clothing?
30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?
!! feel free to pick and choose! i look forward to you answers, have a lovely day :)
Ahhh, thank you so much for sending these my way, dearest! I love them so much. ❤️️
What flower would you like to be given?
Since we now have the Hungarian lilac season here and the flowers are in full bloom, I would love to be given those. I love their rich and fragrant smell that fills the whole apartment when you leave windows open and the breeze carries it further and further, and my grandmother used to adore them, so they also remind me of my childhood.
I also love sunflowers very much!
Say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).
Oh, this almost feels like an impossible task with my perpetually self-conscious ass, but I shall try!
Physical:
I have large, dark eyes inherited from my mother.
Recently, I have been obsessed with my ginger hair.
I believe I have a nice figure. Without having to try too hard to maintain it as I have the metabolism of a hummingbird.
Non-physical:
I do not make friends easily but am a very loyal friend once I befriend someone.
I am a very curious individual and love learning a lot of new things. I also know a lot about certain areas of interest that are dear to my heart.
I try never to look away from the issues around us. It is very important to be aware of what is happening in the world and take any small steps you can towards improving it — even speaking out can help immensely. We live on this planet and in this society, and hence we have to do everything in our power to contribute.
What colour brings you peace?
Yellow! I am an ardent lover of black at heart, but yellow always boosts my mood immensely.
What’s something you’re excited for?
At this very point, just finishing all of my finals with moderate success and ending this horrible semester skdsksdjsks. I am currently working on my final assignment and trying to put my remaining energy into it to do it well, but I am so ready to decompress a little.
I am going to a concert next week, that is another thing! And then leaving for a week abroad for a sweet, sweet vacation. 🙏
I am also excited to finally have more time to do things that interest me. I cannot wait to finally catch up on all the comments, reblogs, and messages and get back to my loveliest moots, dust off the abandoned WIPs to work on them more intensely, and read read read.
How are you?
Exhausted as heck. Being killed by cramps. Desperately wanting to unwind.
If you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?
That all those bad days will be over at one point. She will gradually get older and get a hold of her life, make her own decisions that feel right to her. And that she does not need to be so anxious about her university journey, because she is not an idiot and will eventually excel.
Favourite piece of clothing?
Leather jacket, always and forever. ❤️️
What reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?
Ooooh, definitely my mum's homemade szegedi gulyás. Sitting on the front steps in front of a grimy, ugly-ass communist-era block of flats. The smell of frankincense. Endless fields of wild grass. Locally produced cheese strings.
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tinypinkmouse · 4 months
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Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors
19. Who is the easiest character for you to write about? Why?
24. How did you come up with title for Be Who You Are?
28. In You'd Be Hard to Forget (and sequel), what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about LFS/CG?
19. Yang Xiuxian! I felt drawn to him at first glance and my mind just assigned him a bunch of character traits that are not necessarily found anywhere in canon and decided that I know this person and I like him and I can definitely write him. Partly because there's so little canon to go on, so you can be pretty free with interpretation. Partly because he reminds me of a lot of people I've met so it feels pretty easy to get a handle on what I see his character as. And whatever holes are left I just patch with convenient personality traits and experiences from myself (even though I'm definitely nothing like Yang Xiuxian in most regards).
24. Honestly, I think it was just some kind of variation about saying to be yourself, which I thought went well with the whole theme of the fic, considering how hard of a time Yang Xiuxian has believing that Ye Ziyang really does like him as he is and he doesn't need to become anyone else to be suitable to be in a relationship with him.
28. I have not thought about this story in a while. I think in my head Luo Fusheng does manage to distance himself from the family business. Maybe Hong Lan having given up on Luo Fusheng once she decided he's helplessly gay, decides to redirect her energy on taking care of the family business instead, leaving Luo Fusheng a bit more free to get some space from all of it. Luo Fusheng and Hong Lan still maintain a good relationship though, she teases Luo Fusheng about his apparent house husband aspirations, which really would be more effective if Luo Fusheng wouldn't happily be a house husband if it made Cao Guang happy. And Cao Guang is happier the less Luo Fusheng has to do with anything dangerous/criminal. Generally I just imagine them being very happy and soft and nothing bad ever happening. They'll enjoy spending time at home together. And Luo Fusheng still really likes Cao Guang's knees. In fact he'll randomly get down on his own knees when they're sitting on the couch watching a movie or something and just nuzzle and kiss at the side of Cao Guang's knees (he'll do it while in bed too I'm sure) and Cao Guang thinks it's weird, but while he might slowly stop wearing shorts when he goes anywhere (need to be professional now that he's working and everything), he still definitely wears shorts at home. Luo Fusheng might be a bit weird for kissing his knees but Cao Guang definitely likes the way Luo Fusheng looks at him when he's wearing shorts.
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poll-ventures · 1 year
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Perdition 1.A
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February 16th, 2023
4:00 A.M.
Sarah Beth woke up to two distinct chimes. The ringtone pulled her from her sleep, and she recognized immediately that it was the tone she’d set for her boss. She’d chosen it because it sounded like “Oh shit!”. That is exactly how she felt every time he texted her.
The text was two words. Call me.
She clearly swiped the phone open, and did as the man who signed her checks asked.
He picked up before the first ring had died. “Sleep well, sunshine?”
“Fuck you, Lenoard,” she said, sleep still caught in her throat. “Let me go back, I was dreaming about Bell.”
“Do yourself a favor and keep my daughter’s name out your mouth,” Leonard said amiably. “And come down to the station, please.”
She sighed. “What’s in it for me?”
“Two big Starbucks drinks with your name on ‘em. And a five hour energy,” he said, chuckling deeply.
Sarah Beth took a deep breath, put the phone down, then exhaled as she looked at the clock. She wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep before she had to wake up. He had known that. Fucking dick.
“You’re a fucking dick,” she said, then stood up, startling Beck from his feline slumber as she went to search for yesterday’s pants.
“Lady called off!” he said, feigning shock. “And I don’t trust anyone else to write about this but you.” 
She grinned at the faint praise. Halfway through a hoodie, she said, “You better be paying me on Lady’s step, then.” 
“Aye aye, captain,” he said dryly. “See you in twenty.”
“Sir yes sir, oorah.” She hung up and grabbed her keys from the bedside table, idly scritching Beck’s head as she stepped into her crocs.
“Bye bye,” she said, bending down to kiss the top of his furry, black head. He rubbed into her chin, following her off of the bed and out of the room as she went to collect Ray. He cried as she picked him up, swaddling the 18 month old tight in his blankets after a quick diaper change.
She replaced his pacifier after a harried search, and shushed him back to a blissful silence as she locked the door of her apartment behind her. She rushed down the stairs carefully, kissing Ray’s head whenever he got a little fussy at being awake this early.
In no time, he was asleep in his car seat, and she was starting the engine. They rolled out of Main Street Apartments’ newly paved driveway, and headed towards her ex-husband’s house.
Arturo wouldn’t like having to look after his son a few hours more than he’s used to without warning, but if the job was as important as Leonard made it sound, he would have to suck it up. He wasted most of his day anyway. That, and she had to keep up appearances. 
Sarah Beth could not let Leonard find out that she had a kid.
4:42 A.M.
Sarah Beth blinked sleepily as she stepped into the office, letting the door bang closed behind her.
Two coffees and a five hour energy was sitting pretty on the front desk, beads of condensation sliding down the plastic cups and onto the cardboard cup holder.
“He spoke true,” she murmured, stepping up to the cups and popping one of the straws out of its paper container and into her mouth, crane necking it into the drink.
It tasted good. Seven-dollars-too-expensive good. But still, not worth waking up this early, especially after taking Dante to his Dad. She grabbed the drinks, walking back through the small office’s cubicles to the only office with a light on. The sun hadn’t even risen.
She shoed the door open, and prepared her best glare.
Leonard’s office was impeccable, dust free and teak everywhere it could be. In the middle of his desk sat an ancient, coffee brown typewriter, perfectly maintained, yet still obviously heavily used. Behind it, looming totemically, was Lenoard. A tall man with a skinny face, laugh lines creased his cheeks as he stared down at Sarah Beth.
He was not smiling now. 
"Your twenty minutes late." He squinted at her.
"Hair care day," she lied. "Hair comes first." Her hair was tightly pulled into a bun on top of her head. “So what’s the big deal?” Sarah Beth asked, breathing in the fresh pine sent of Lenoard’s office.
He held up one narrow finger to silence her, then used it to gingerly press the play a voicemail on his mobile phone.
It was a young lady's voice. Bell's voice. "Hi daddy! Just wanted to call and tell you about what happened at tea tonight. Kim told me about something that happened at the police station, I don't know if you've heard about it? They arrested the guy, or I guess girl who kidnapped Kyle, she was pretending to be a man, and might have killed him! Kim said she worked for Kyle for over a year! Here's the craziest part-"
Her voice cut off abruptly as Leonard ended the recording.
“Okay, and?” She asked, placing the two coffees on his desk as she cracked the cap of the five hour energy and downed it.
“Perpetrator escaped,” he said.
“How?”
He leaned in, meaningfully. “No one knows. I made some calls, they’re going to send me the camera footage. Officer Newcastle is swinging by, soon as he can.”
“Okay, so, some girl is conning a rich guy on city council. Does it Mulan style, but then gets arrested for his kidnapping slash possible murder. Then she goes and pulls a Houdini, leaving all the cops--Jesus Len, you’re right, this is a good story. We the first ones on this? The Sun ain’t on it yet?”
“Nope. Thank God Bell has dates with Young and Pretty at the station.”
“Shit.” Sarah Beth moved the coffee on the floor, pulling a small laptop from her purse as she spoke. “Shit, okay. We need that footage.”
“Yep.”
“And we need that--whoever was there when she disappeared, get them on the line for an interview, Len.”
“On it,” and he was.
“Fuck, is Juice on for newscast today? We need her.”
“Her day off. Danny’s today,” he said, phone pinned to his head as he dialed a number.
“Call Juice. Need her. Only her,” she said, attention pouring the word processor.
“Yes, I’ll hold.” Then, to her, “I’ll call Juice next.”
Sarah Beth handed him her phone. “You’ve got two hands, don’t you?” 
5:25 A.M.
5:25 A.M. 
And Parker still hadn’t shown up.
The five fluttered to a six on the dark desk, the clock face lit only by the bright, orange light of a monitor. Instrumental hip hop filled the room, resonating quietly from expensive speakers set throughout the room.
5:26 A.M.
The phrase, burning the midnight oil, came to mind. Although it was incorrect. Burning tomorrow’s midnight oil was more like it.
The clock shuttered to 5:27.
5:27 was a tricky time. The 27 was the sticker, really. It was just too late in the hour. Consider a healthy 5:03.
At 5:03, you could look at your shitty custom Linux clock UI and say to yourself, hey, I can go to bed in a little bit, and it’ll still count as going to bed at 5:00. Even though you know you’re not going to, it still feels better. Even a 5:13 was manageable; it took a little more convincing, but it was manageable.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, 5:48 was workable too. You could say you were going to bed at 6:00, just stop whatever you’re doing at 6:00 and be done with it. 5:58 was even better.
But 5:27? There was just no hope. You just had to find something to do for the next while. You could not just call it a night at night at 5:30. That just felt wrong to Lena.
Or was it Levi?
They stopped to consider. Then, as they did whenever this issue occurred, they asked the group chat. They were generally amusing, and happened to be good at turning a 27 into a 58.
Levi smirked. Maybe they had a bit of a crush? It would not be the first time. Others had been kicked for simping too hard.
== User ‘ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_’ has joined ‘#a)(witch)(needs)(some)(help’. 4 user(s) present. 2 witch(es) lurking. ==
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: yo witches
1815: Hiya
Jeru111: sup bispi
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: i need some help
Jeru111: then i do believe you’re in the right channel!
1815: falling behind on your IT homework again or something? :3
Ainsel: What is it with the overlap of witches and software developers?
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: woah hi n00bie
Jeru111: @ainsel; something something trans girl socks
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: ^
1815: ^
Ainsel: ^
1815: Whatchu need help with bi
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: don’t know who i am right now
Ainsel: Like 
Ainsel: metaphysically
Ainsel: ………….?
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: no like. Name wise
Jeru111: so, yes
Ainsel: Oh. I don’t know your name, I’m new here. All I know is that you host
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: who invited u ainsel
Ainsel: D4NT3
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: dante’s tight
1815: virgil disagrees
Jeru111: they passed the entrance exam pretty well
Jeru111: i didn’t fuck with the form this time because they seemed like they actually wanted to learn
Ainsel: I do
Jeru111: brownnoser!
Anisel: I mean. Sure
Ainsel: A witch wants some help, doesn’t she?
Ainsel: she might get some shit on her nose in the process
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: lol
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: here for making me l0l you get your first symb
Ainsel: what?
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: nobod
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: cmon guys n0b0dy told her?
Ainsel: ???
Jeru111: numbers/symbols in name = rank in server basically
Jeru111: more leety name means u been here longer. More trusted/chanOP
Ainsel: Oh. so bispiritual (Did i get that right) has a ton cause they host the server
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: yeah (yes)
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: and you can trade them. I have a ton so it doesn’t matter 4 me but 
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: “/givesymb Ainsel 1” to do it if someone said something rlly funny
ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: or helped you out
Ainsel: like Kandi bracelets 
Jeru111: xactly
== User ‘ß][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_’ has changed their nick to ‘B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_
== User ‘B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_’ gifted user ‘Ainsel’ one symbol. Use it wisley! ==
Jeru111: Use it wisley!
1815: Use it wisley!
== User ‘U53 17 W1513Y’ has returned. ==
U53 17 W1513Y: Use it wisley! <3
== User ‘U53 17 W1513Y’ has awayed. ==
Jeru111: best bot ever written
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: fuck you all i should have never given the rat bot perms
== User ‘Jeru111’ gifted user ‘U53 17 W1513Y’ one symbol. Use it wisley! ==
== User ‘U53 17 W1513Y’ has returned. ==
U53 17 W1513Y: Use it wisley! <3
== User ‘U53 17 W1513Y’ has awayed. ==
Ainsel: lmfao
1815: just fix the typo silly
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: never 
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: i only fix the programming errors not typos #efficient
== User ‘Ainsel’ has changed their nick to “4insel’. ==
Jeru111: nice
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: w00t!
1815: gratz!! :D 
4insel: Thanks everyone
4insel: you said you needed help though @bispiritual  
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: yes with finding my name rn
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: it’s one of three and i can’t figure it out
1815: I can help
1815 was one of the oldest members of the group. Lena… No, Levi--. Loux shifted in the chair as they stared at the name. They were always helpful, and were almost always the first one to respond to Loux when they posted.
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: how ?
1815: we’ll have an example discussion. I’ll gage which you are by that
Their smile widened as their hands flew across the keyboard, typing quickly, then tapped enter.
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: okay. i’m game :)
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: let’s me and you DM.
The clock read 5:59 A.M. Loux didn’t see it.
6:00 A.M.
It was Thursday morning, and there was a baby in his house.
Arturo had come to this realization moments after he’d been woken up by screaming. He’d been rushing into his study with a loaded pistol, when he saw that there was a baby in the crib, crying his little heart out.
It helped, he supposed, that it was his baby. Little Ray was all grown up it seemed, and had learned to walk the fifty minutes to his daddy’s house all by himself. That, or his Mami had decided (once again) that she wasn’t good enough to be Ray’s Mother, and had dumped all the responsibility on Arturo.
“That’s silly,” Arturo told Ray as he expertly changed him out of his diaper and pajamas. “Mami’s a great mother.” Ray giggled as his Dad kissed him, blowing a raspberry on his forehead. “She’s a horrible wife though,” he said seriously.
And so the morning passed as it usually would, the two watching baby T.V. and eating baby oatmeal as the sun crept through the curtains and played on the plastic baby furniture. Ray played with a set of wooden cars on the carpet as Arturo put the finishing touches on the model he was painting.
Arturo was an only child, so Ray happily reaped the undivided spoils of his abuelita’s generosity, filling his house with toys for him and his son alike. The two were almost perfect mirrors of each other, spilling away hours with intermittent feasting (these signaled to Ray with the word ‘bite’ said in a proffering tone) and playing.
He only found the note when he went outside with Ray to batch prime a new set of models. It was clearly written in Sarah Beth’s looping cursive, barely legible to Arturo. He let Ray chase a ball in his backyard as he puzzled it out.
Arturo,
Sorry. Work called. Big deal. I’ll pay you back, I promise.
P.S.
I PROMISE. Thank you.
Love you and Ray,
S.B.J.
He looked at their son, laughing as he chased a bird in the back lawn. “Sarah Beth Jackson,” he whispered, eyes watering. “That job is going to kill you.”
6:01 A.M.
== User ‘B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_’ has joined ‘#direct)(message)(hub)(’. 15 user(s) present. 32 witch(es) lurking. ==
Lena liked to imagine this channel as a park. Many people talking, but talking quietly in the same place, with birds and dogs and squirrels lazing about. The IRC client she had written herself for the coven had no direct messaging feature built in. Instead, there was a command to have only one person see a message.
Every community, even if it was three people, had drama. Lena’s cybercoven had proven no different. This system of DM had made for a quick and easy to the skinhead wiccan that had snuck in last month
Lena was the only one who had access to them, and even then, she had programmed an hour timer into the command, so she’d actually have to think about the issue instead of just peeking into a person’s private life for no reason.
She’d found that these people trusted her, for better or for worse. She was working hard at becoming the best server owner she could, and took it seriously. She still had time for the bants, though. Speaking of…
Lena laughed, then closed her eyes, vibing to the music for a moment as she typed out her next response. 
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: so how do we do this?
1815: well lets see. What are your options?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: lena/levi/loux
1815: .
1815: loux?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: yea
1815: how is that
1815: like how is that even pronounced?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: loo
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: like the guy from ringworld
1815: man’s in my dm’s Louis Woo posting
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: look i was an impressionable youth and my gma had niven on her bookshelf what can i say
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: i had no choice
1815: tbh he’s pretty trans
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: transed by a 80 y/o sifi author trying desperately to write about spaceships, so sad
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: also no. he’s really not
1815: bullshit have you even ringed a world b4?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: okay fair. no. but i have Started the book many times, and that man is a womanizer
1815: okay so that’s like saying zuko is an asshole cause you watched the first episode 
1815: he’s got to have his character arc man
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: does somebody Womanize loui woo?????
1815: r.a.f.o. ;3
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: FU 3:
1815: anyway i just have never seen that name before with an x
1815: y cant you be a normal nonbinary and be like. Stone
1815: Oliver
1815: Branch
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: moss
1815: river, you get it
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: Many such cases
1815: Many such cases!
Loux read the words, thinking deeply for a moment before closing their eyes and humming quietly. They looked inside of their center, or at least tried to do something that felt like that, and…
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: short answer; because that’s not me
1815: long answeR?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: uh
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: i’m not nb i’m genderqueer and not really even that. I think I might be two spirit
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: which is like this native american thing. I don’t know much about it but my grandma keeps saying that’s what i am
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: but in my soul i feel like there’s three selves that make up ME
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: like
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: the divine trinity
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: male/female/neither[other]
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: and one of them usually wins out. that’s who i end up feeling like that day
1815: interesting
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: but today it’s just. all
1815: are they alters?
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: no, not really. all me 
1815: okay well do you want my opinion
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: sure
1815: i think their may be a fourth you. Or maybe a secret, always you you
1815: an amalg of all the options that’s just…
1815: un nameable. truer than true
She didn’t know. Maybe 1815 was right? That threw a spanner in his identity.
But a spanner can be a useful tool, when it’s a spanner you need.
1815 had sent another message, and Levi realized he’d been staring at the screen for a few minutes now.
He realized the question was rather blunt and personal, but… He felt rather blunt and personal right now.
1815: you okay?
1815: i didn’t chris angel genderfreak you did i
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: no, but i think you might be on to something
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: who are you?
Lena clapped a hand against her forehead.
1815: just a big bird on her journey to find real magic
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: big bird?
1815: 1815
1815: IBIS
Lena smiled.
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: duh :facepalm:
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: well. thanks for the gender workshop, big bird
1815: anytime my human gender protege
1815: with a 4 letter name that starts with L
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: well fairs fair tell me yours (if you wanna)
1815: nah i’m a secretive bird
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: can a bro buy a vowel? 
1815: okay, sure :) but it’ll cost you
B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_: only fair
== User ‘B][---$|o][Я][7|_|4|_’ has changed their nick to ‘B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_’. ==
== User ‘B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_’ gifted user ‘1815’ one symbol. Use it wisley! ==
1815: there’s an o. in the middle
**B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_ cherishes the letter O, holding it close to their chest.**
B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_: thanks
== User ‘1814’ has changed their nick to ‘1815!’. ==
1815!: np, thank u! was fun talkin
B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_: t’was
B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_: ttyl?
1815!: sure /me smiles
1815!: oop
**1815! smiles.**
**B][---$|o][R][7|_|4|_ smiles.**
Over the comfy cacophony of her music, she heard a knock at the front door. She rolled away from her desk and to the door, swinging it open and running down the living room stairs and across the hard wood floor of the foyer.
She swung it open, and standing before her was…
Her grandmother.
6:32 A.M.
Jones sat outside the White Picket Trench with his guitar, strumming away at a chord progression that had entered his left hand in his 20’s, and had never left. Playing always came as easy as breathing, sometimes easier, but he’d made certain sacrifices for his age.
Dropping the last two strings from most chords made them fall a little flat, but it sounded better than if he tried to play them with his gnarled pinky and failed. Instead, his stub finger held them still, muting them. His hand had long relearned a G chord with this new technique, but his ear knew the difference.
Just as his body knew the difference between subtle changes in temperature, you could just tell when someone flubs one of the notes in a chord. He’d told himself that anyone walking by likely wouldn’t care, but he cared, and he was sure if the old man was here, he’d be chiding him for his improper play.
“Well, it pays the bills, pops.” His whisper was eaten by the wind, and he knew no one would get close enough to actually listen. Anyone who saw his lips moving assumed he was singing, and he was, in a way. The wind took his words, and returned another’s, intermixed with the melody that blew gently past his ear.
“And what bills are those? Ain’t no gas bill for living on the street, you worthless chud.”
He chuckled, eyes still closed. He may be a lonely dick, but his old man did one thing right: he put the music in his son.
Guitar was the only instrument Jones had fallen in love with, but he had flirted with many more. Piano would still call his heart at times, and when he felt the ache, the library on Beachwood had an old grand piano that Janice at the front desk would let him play some mornings, if it wasn’t too busy. 
It was an old, out of tune piece of crap, but it made a nice match with him.
He finished the song, as much as any song is ever finished, and looked up at the sun. It was pretty late by now. He wondered what was keeping Lena from opening? She’d been late before, but always had good excuses. She was a good girl, and he didn’t mind waiting.
He strummed the intro to another meandering improvisation, letting it fill his mind. It wandered, making its way through the many stories it told itself when it wasn’t in direct communication with him, as it was now. The young man he’d met yesterday morning, he’d asked him about his Father.
Was it a coincidence that he was in the wind this morning? He supposed he’d been thinking about the old man… Mother had been haunted by the lack of explanation, and it had hurt Jones, but… If the voices he heard were really their spirit visiting him, shouldn’t he ask?
He’d never thought to. His Father’s visits were brief, and always insulting. He supposed that was in character, but there was always a part of himself that whispered that the voice in his head was just that: a construction of his mind.
He settled further into the song, and began seeking the voice of his father. 
6:48 A.M.
“Mornin, Grandma.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Lena.”
“Yes, ma’am. Can I take that?”
“Please do. It’s awful airish out there, but I know you got the temp high in here.”
“Guilty.”
“You didn’t sleep a wink, did you?”
“No, ma’am. Homework.”
“I said no bullshit, Levi.”
“How do you do that?”
“A-do what, child?”
“Nothing, sorry. How the hell did you get up here?”
“I back pocket drove, quick trip.”
“G-ma, we talked about this, that is not safe.”
“I’ve been doing it since I was younger than your mother was when she had you, boy.”
“And how did she die, huh?”
“I only go with good drivers. Only good people stop for an old lady on the side of the road, and good people are good drivers.”
“I guess. I’m glad you’re here safe though. How’s Rod?”
“You know him. Man was born to be hung.”
“Uh…”
“Not like that, foul child.”
“Thank god.”
“Hmm. Well, I suppose…”
“Shush!”
“Aw, let an old woman live, girlie.”
“Fine. Live, but do it when I’m out of the house. Oh shit, speaking of…”
“You late again? Stupid child.”
“Fuck you too, Gramma!”
“You got the bedroom set up for me?”
“Yeah.”
“Phone, wallet, keys?”
“Yeah.”
“Grammy kiss?”
“Uhh, no.”
“C’mere. Love you, baby.”
“Love you--Ah!”
“Ow! What was that for?”
“There was a-a bug on you! Big fucking thing. Wow.”
“Oh, yes. Cicada.”
“The hell are you doing with a cicada on your shawl, woman?”
“You would know, if you had awakened yet.”
“Grandma, we talked about this.”
“Some are late bloomers, that is all that I’m saying…”
“Sure. Show me some proof, someday, and I’ll think about it.”
“Think about this:”
“Oh, Jesus, here we go.”
“Hush. Everyone, every being, every object, works on its own form of life force. Some-”
“Some forms interpret it in different ways but at the core they are all the same, yes Gramma I know, I have to go!”
“Fine. One last hug. It is good seeing you, Loux.”
“Seriously, what is up with that? Don’t smile at me like that, you mischievous bitch!”
“Love you.”
“Love you.”
The door clicked closed, and Levi’s grandmother locked it. She smiled to herself, and picked up the dead cicada from the floor of his living room. 
He’s a good kid. Just needs some time.
A late bloomer.
7:16 A.M.
Jones was so far deep inside of the song that he didn’t notice as Lena strolled past him to unlock the door.
She stopped, looking down at him as he sang silent words. She stopped with the door half open, then leaned on the glass door, watching him, rapt, for longer than she had ever before.
It was beautiful, an ongoing, always evolving fugue that looped around itself in a thick, multi tonal stream of music. His fingers sped up and down the fret board, resting only briefly when they did at all. Eventually, she had to step inside, leaving him to his mantra. 
He spent hours in the song, searching for his father’s voice in the wind.
7:22 A.M. 
The sun had fully risen. The mountain drank up the blood-red light. 
For the second time that day, Parker died.
7:23 A.M.
Sam yawned. The sun had just risen over the horizon, and was spilling into her little sliver of the collections office. She thought about taking a break to go smoke, just so she could feel the cold February air heat up in the presence of the sun.
 While she was out there, she could call Parker, and ask how his job search was going. Then maybe ask him if he wanted to grab a bite to eat with her and Jack later tonight. She wondered how it went with Levi. He was definitely a character, but so was Parker, at times. They would be good for each other, and she knew that Levi was in a tight spot right now…
Stopping with her hand halfway to the bag that held her pack of cigarettes, she realized she’d quit smoking two years ago.
When would it finally stick? She’d put down her last cigarette in June, 2020.
God, but she could use one right now. 
The need came on her less and less, but when it did, it was strong, and lingered for a long time. She would need to replace that urge with something else when she got home. Usually alcohol worked as a substitute, or some mindless video game… But Jack had let Danny borrow the PS4. Damn.
And then her phone began to ring. Not her desk phone, but her personal phone. It was an unknown number.
She sighed deeply, crossed her legs, and picked it up.
It seemed the universe had already decided; today was just going to be one of those days.
“Hello, how may I help you?”
“Hi, is this, Sameera Daylily?” The woman’s voice was low, almost sultry as she spoke.
“Yes, this is her speaking, you can call me Sam.”
“Hello, Sam.” Her voice remained level as she spoke. “This is Investigator Horne of the FBI speaking. Would you be available to answer a few questions today?”
Oh, fuck.
8:01 A.M.
“Give me the headline, Sarah Beth.”
“FBI foiled by conwoman kidnapper, escapes containment, local police bewildered.” Sarah Beth tapped her favorite pen against her lip as she leaned back, letting the words breathe in the space between her and Leonard.
He sat across from her, in the same positions they had been in for hours. Finishing the last bite of the bagel Bell had brought them, he likewise chewed the words. Then he shook his head.
“Too… Saturday morning cartoon. Foiled? Too wordy,” he said.
His phone began to ring, and he stared down at the name on the receiver angrily. 
“Bell’s mother. Christ,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose, then picked up the phone.“Keep working at it,” he grunted, then shooed Sarah Beth out of his office as he took the call.
She stood staring out at the absolute chaos that had overtaken the larger office. Marco ran copies of the release forms between the two interviewees, both sitting patiently in the waiting room while Bell finished up their last minute make up.
Sarah Beth crossed the room to where a small refreshments table had been set up, grabbing one of the muffins Bell had brought from the bakery she worked at. She stared at the small woman rush between her make-up station and the guests as she bit into the cran-blueberry muffin.
“I had no idea you did that,” she called out to Bell, who was packing away her kit.
“Huh?” The young girl looked up at Sarah Beth through a sheath of kinked black hair, flashing a brief but beautiful smile. “Oh, yeah.” She giggled quietly, then stepped close to her, whispering. “You like those? I made them myself.”
“Wow,” Sarah Beth said dumbly as she looked down at the muffin. Then, panicking, she took another bite. “Itfs fo goog!” she said through the mouthful.
“They’re my favorite too!” She had the good grace not to disgustedly walk away. “But makeup is my passion. I’m going to school for it,” she explained. “You’re Sarah, right?”
“Sarah Beth,” she said after a large swallow. “And you’re Bell?” Like I don’t know.
“Yup! I’m Mr. Grant’s daughter. He said he needed some help up here, and I figured--What’s a coffee and bagel run? He caught me just after the morning rush, so I-”
She was interrupted by Marco, tapping Sarah Beth’s shoulder.
“Eh, sorry, SB?” He looked pleadingly at her, nodding to the two waiting guests. The camera’s and lights had been set up, and the first interviewee had been sat down in the middle of the frame. She was an older woman, hair just starting to gray, but it was obvious she had been beautiful. 
The second guest was Young and Pretty herself, the woman who worked the police department’s front desk. Sarah Beth thought her name might have been Kim. Apparently she went for tea with Bell. She momentarily filled with jealousy, then shook her head.
“Right,” she said, looking at Bell regretfully. “Sorry.”
Bell shook her head, hair cascading down in perfect rows. “S’okay. You’re a busy woman. Go kill it,” she said, smiling broadly.
Sarah Beth couldn’t help smiling back at her. She turned to the guest, looking briefly at Marco to give her the all okay. He nodded from behind a mountain of sound and visual equipment, giving her a thumbs up for good measure.
“You said your name was Investigator Horne?” Sarah Beth nodded to the older woman, who looked directly into the camera without being asked.
The woman was fiddling with a small wooden block, some insectoid design partially carved out of a blond, hard, wood. “Yes. Can we make this quick, please?”
“Of course, ma’am. I’d just like to ask you a few questions. How did Kyle Montgomery know this Natalie Dempsey?”
“Well…” The older woman nodded once, her voice low.
8:46 A.M.
Officer Odom had already sweat through his thin, blue button up. He threw on his police jacket, figuring that would hide the sweat stains and cut a nice figure. He stared into his small office’s bathroom mirror. He smelled and looked fine, and not at all like he’d been hungover and barely awake forty five minutes ago.
He’d been woken up by the boss. The press fucks were asking for a clip. The Chief of Police needed to put a good spin on this bitch escaping arrest. 
This was going to suck, but it’d be over soon. Maybe five minutes. “Fine”, he said to himself. “Do your worst, universe. I’m gonna be on T.V..”
He stepped out of his office, and glided through the station like he was in a dream. He stopped by Kim’s desk, and nearly began hitting on her before he even looked. That was right. She’d been taken by the fucking press.
He took his buck-tooth grin and James Dean lean off of Kim’s desk, and walked through the front door, a faint smile melting to his serious-business face he used when talking to criminals or the victims of criminals.
The cameras. The fucking cameras were already set up, staring at him, eating his face and making him news. It disgusted him. He walked with his head down, bald spot showing he was sure, like he had some serious shit to say. He supposed he did. 
Finally, he made it to the wooden lectern someone had placed in front of the Old Hill Rock. He looked down at the script that had been placed in front of him, and couldn’t help but laugh. He already felt like a puppet, did he really need a reminder that there was a hand so far up his ass he could taste the dirt under its nails?
He recovered from the mistake, clearing his throat. Looking out across the crowd, he picked one camera, and stuck to it. There was a beautifully tall woman behind it, and she did the sign of the cross across her chest as he settled on their camera.
Making girlie’s days, left and right, yessiree.
He cleared his mind and his throat, then began to speak.
“I think I speak for the entire Police Department, when I say…”
9:30 A.M.
“We asked Investigator Aubrey Horne, who arrested Natalie Dempsey, how did Kyle Montgomery know this Natalie Dempsey?”
Sarah Beth watched the older FBI agent’s face fill the screen as her words came out of the speakers. They had barely finished up the recording in time for the 9:30 news slot, and it was a bit sloppy, but they would be the first ones reporting on it. 
They had even captured the chief of police giving an official statement. Sure, they weren’t the only ones recording it, but they had gotten the head start. The town millionaire was missing, and the person who did it had escaped from the police department while an experienced FBI agent was watching over her.
It was fucking insane. It was amazing. It was perfect. It was…
“Oh, shit,” she moaned. It was about the time when Artuto usually woke up. She checked her phone, and yup, three missed calls. 
And a fourth one incoming. She stepped outside of the studio, then answered, instantly apologizing. “Arturo, I’m so sorry-”
“Is this you on T.V.?” He was speaking quickly, voice garbled through the phone.
“Uhh, no,” she said. “It’s Juice.”
“Duh!” He said, and she could hear the program in the background of the call. “It’s you though, I can tell your style, just by the way it’s put together.”
She smiled. 
“I mean wow,” he kept on, praising her, almost out of breath. Then, finally. “You did a great job, Sarah Beth.”
“Thank you, Arturo. We made the C.O.P. pretty mad, but we got it first. Thanks for looking after Ray.”
“Ay, no issue. Was my day anyway. Good stuff though. Tell them you need a goddamn raise. I don’t know what time you got here, but it’s too damn early for any decent person to be awake. And you’re decent people, Sarah Beth.”
She laughed musically, though not to her own ears if you’d’ve asked her. “Thanks, Art. I’ll see you soon.”
They both hung up at the same time. 
Sarah Beth looked up at the cold, blue sky, and smiled into the sun.
<                     ≡                      >
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gundam-bailey · 10 months
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Starting a 2 or 3 part story with my ocs.
Time in Vega City: Part 1
A mobile home came to a stop at a vacant spot at local camping sight, the owner sighing in relief as he could finally relax. Clay pulled out a map and brochure for the city he came to visit. Vega City, a literal hotspot for tourists, as the weather seemed to be in a perpetual state of Summer. The temperature never dropped below eighty degrees and the sun was always shining. A very peculiar but intriguing location, Clay just had to check it out. Dressing appropriately, a simple green tank top with a frog’s face on it and black shorts, Clay grabbed his skateboard and started to head our. “Take care of the house while I’m gone, Hopper. I know you hate the heat so stay cool in here.” He calmly called out to his little frog, who simply croaked in response. “Yeah I’ll be careful. Later buddy.”
Clay took off and immediately noticed something very fascinating about this place, something he noticed while driving. There were tree’s everywhere, large ones at that too. Clay grinned and picked up his speed, his mood already improved by leaps and bounds. He didn’t hate driving, but he was in his element now. He came to a quick stop though as he entered a public park, taking in the sights. It was a very well kept park, no trash, every bench and other equipment looked well maintained. Even the fountain was free of filth. Clearly, the city cared a great deal about this park. But while that pleases him, Clay noticed something that didn’t please him, at all. Seated on a bench, a little boy was crying while a group of bullies were harassing him. If there was one thing Clay hated, it was bullies. “Hey!” He shouted, gaining the attention of the bullies. “What do you want? You got a problem with us?” The bully leader asked, trying his best to look intimidating. It wasn’t working. “No, but soon you’ll be the one with a problem.” Clay’s body began to change, his finger nails turned into sharp claws, his teeth became jagged and sharp and his muscles mass seemed to increase. He looked like part man, part dinosaur and that sight terrified the bullies who knew they were in serious trouble. “Get lost, before I get angry.” Clay threatened, crushing a rock with his claws to prove a point. Shrieking in terror, the bullies flesh without a second thought and Clay laughed to himself, reverting back to normal. “Hey kid, you alright?’ He asked the crying child, sitting down next to him. The boy hesitated for a moment, not that Clay could blame him. “Mr. How did you do that?” “Which part? The whole dinosaur thing?” Clay asked in good nature, making the boy laugh. “Well, I’m a shape-shifter. That’s the simple answer.” The boy looked at him with shining eyes. “Really!? That’s so cool! I know there’s tons of people with cool powers, but I didn’t know there was people like you. That’s so awesome!” The boy’s face fell, making Clay frown. “What’s wrong?” “It’s nothing, Mr. I just wish…I wish I was special too. If I was, maybe they wouldn’t pick on me.” Clay understood what the boy was saying, but didn’t agree. Not one bit. “What’s your name?” “Oh, it’s Carter. Mister-“ “Clay. You can call me Clay. Let me tell ya something, Carter. Everyone is special. We all have something we’re really good at, it doesn’t matter how mundane. You have a talent?” Carter took a moment to think, his eyes widening a little. “I’m a really good swimmer, better that everyone else at school even!” “Then, there you have it. You a have a special gift, the gift of swimming. I can barely swim, so you’re already better than me.” “Better than you? But…but you’re so cool and brave and-“ “You can be too. You just have to put in the effort. Show those bullies you can succeed, become the greatest swimmer you can. Trust me, in the future you’ll be the one that everyone thinks is cool.” Clay’s speech seemed to do the trick as Carter was bursting with energy. “I’m gonna go practice swimming right now! Thank you Clay! Just you wait, I’ll be the best ever!” He shouted as he ran off. Clay smiled, happy he could help someone realize their own worth. “The world can be cruel, but keep your head up high, Carter. You can do it.”
Clay stood up and started to walk away, that’s when he noticed something peculiar. A woman was jumping from tree to tree, laughing all while doing it. But then, she tripped and started to fall. Clay sprang into action and quickly caught the woman before she could hit the ground. This was when got a good look at her. She appeared to be around his age and long, admittedly beautiful blonde hair with green tips. An interesting hair color, but one he found charming. But most importantly, she had these orange eyes that seemed bright yet dull. He realized what was up, this lady was blind! “Hey, you alright?’ He frantically called out, only to be cut off by the woman suddenly laughing. “That was fun! Thanks whoever you are, you really saved by bacon! Name’s Sunny! Nice to meet you!” She greeted, seemingly unphased by the current situation. All Clay could do was tilt his head in confusion, unsure how to respond to what just happened. Unaware that his life just changed forever.
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autumnalwalker · 2 years
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Find the Word Tag
Thank you for the tag, @blind-the-winds.
My words were miss, mother, myth, mouse, & mirror.
Passing the tag to @andromedaexists, @rainbowbokchoy, @thetruearchmagos, @loopyhoopywrites, @lukey-the-pup, and the usual open tag for anyone else who may wish to participate.
Your words shall be flustered, single, children, playful, & recognize.
Miss: Empty Names - 7 - Gathered Here Today
“Most of these trees shouldn’t be growing together,” Eris observes aloud.  “You’ve got a white pine next to a mahogany, I’m pretty sure I saw a baobab back there, and,” she points at a nearby tangle of above-ground roots, “somehow you’re growing a mangrove without a coastline.  I’m not going to ask how, because I know the answer is just going to be some magic BS, but why?  Even with magic that still has to be a Hell of an energy expenditure to maintain.”
To Lacuna’s surprise, it’s Glassheart that answers the question in an awe-tinged voice.  “They’re all bridges.”
“Right on the first try, wizard boy,” says Bridgewood.  “We are right now walking through the eponym to the family name.”
Wait, wizard boy?  But he’s so…  Lacuna glances again at Glassheart practically gliding down the path before shoving down the implications of this particular case of gender envy for the time being.  As it is, she’s already flustered enough to almost miss the ongoing conversation. 
Mother: A Dream About Waking And Sleeping
One day, I wake to find my coffin harder to open than normal.  Eventually I break free to find that the crypt has been converted into a basement. The stone coffins have all been covered beneath floorboards or sealed into plaster walls.  Above, the church has been replaced by a strange house.  It is too warm for winter and there are sun-bright humming bulbs inset into the ceiling and adorning suspended fans. Yet, when I look out the glass window it is dark outside and snow is falling to cover the ground. 
A woman hears me moving around and is as shocked to find me in her home as I am to find hers built on top of mine. 
It is a long talk to explain and to get her to believe.  And to not fear me.  And there are enough details that I keep accidentally surprising her by casually mentioning things I’ve grown too used to to think noteworthy.  The skeletons in particular get a more amusing reaction than they ought to. 
Meanwhile, she explains that it has been a long, long time since I last woke.  Going out hunting for game in the woods is no longer viable, for the area is too developed now.  She offers to do what she can to get me and the child through the Winter until it is time for us to sleep again, whether she winds up going to a butcher or a “blood bank.”
During all of this I learn that she is a single mother.  I am delighted to hear that my little sister will finally have someone else her age (in a manner of speaking) to play with. 
I’m concerned though about what finally drinking human blood will do to us.  Not the woman’s or her child’s of course, but what she might bring us. 
Myth: The Archivist's Journal, Day 62
In that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to talk about my meeting with Theo and the lingering doubts and suspicions it left me with.  Instead I think I surprised us both in obliquely asking about something related that had been bothering me.
I asked Pat to tell me a story.
Not a story brought by outsiders like ends up in the archive anthologies, I clarified.  And not a reminiscence of old times.  A story that came from this place, these islands, this Village.  A myth, a folk tale, something told to children before bedtime.  Something I wouldn’t have a version of in my pre-waking memories.
Pat laughed, saying it’d been a long, long time since anyone had asked him for that.  He asked me to give him a moment to remember one, steepled his fingers in front of him and closed his eyes.
For the next several minutes I waited in silence, alternating between blowing on my tea and sipping on it, wishing it would cool faster.  Worrying my host had fallen asleep I eventually reached out to poke him, getting scarce more than a hairsbreadth away when his eyes abruptly snapped open and I snapped my hand back with a stifled squeak, hoping he hadn’t noticed.
What follows is my attempt to record the story Pat told me, although it’s missing most of the finer details and most certainly fails to capture the spirit the old man put into the telling.
Mouse: Empty Names - 7 - Gathered Here Today
The entrance foyer is dominated by a grand staircase leading to the upper levels whose balconies wrap back around to look down on the visitors.  Above the landing where the staircase splits and turns halfway to the next floor hangs a portrait of a woman in a blue dress of a style as antique as the house’s.  Her smile at the viewer is playful.  Playful in the same way that a cat is playful with a mouse.  Several closed doors line the walls on either side between the entrance and the staircase, although those seem a background detail compared to the small pile of black crates and out of place chairs in the center of the hall.
Mirror: The Archivist's Journal, Day 100
Ninety nine days ago I looked in the mirror, didn’t recognize myself, and cried tears of joy without knowing why.  I still don’t know why, but now that reflection really does register as me and regardless of any other strangeness about this place that makes me question my senses that feels right.
And have a bonus since I just used the "mouse" snippet in the last one of these find the word tag games I did:
Rat: Empty Names - 8 - En Route
Road opens their mouth to say something more but is interrupted by a squeak down at their feet.  Having gained their attention the rat sits back on its hind legs and makes a series of gestures with its forepaws.  Road makes some similar gestures in return and gives a salute that the rat reciprocates before scurrying away.
“What was that about?” Ashan asks.  “I am afraid my translation charm does not parse hand signs well.
“He said we should step away from the railing,” Road answers.  “This ship may be large, but so are the waves and they’ll be larger still before journey’s end.”

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