#akane cosmere

[gal-palanaeum]

Warmth by Thirstspren

Rated General, 1000 words, Akane/Yumi Yumi settles into her new life and begins to realize there's something missing.

Turns out, running a restaurant was a lot harder than it looked.  Especially when the head server wasn’t great at talking to people, the head chef had only been cooking for a single week, and all the financials existed solely in the brain of a person who was no longer on the same planet.  

(If Design even had a brain.  Yumi still didn’t know what that strange woman was, nor did her old assistants, who had thankfully stayed on to prevent complete disaster.  Except the one who’d fled when the old coatrack had come to life.  Putting up with Design’s oddities had been one thing, but no job was worth putting up with that, he’d said.)

Worse, Painter’s role in saving the city had made him a minor local celebrity, drawing thronging crowds and massive scrutiny, and a clumsy business operation coupled with furious demand was a recipe for failure.  Both feared that all their admiration would last only as long as their patience for late, cold noodles. 

“These (lowly) customers,” Painter groused one night after closing, as they stacked chairs on the tables for sweeping.  “Please tell me I was never this infuriating.”

Yumi balanced a chair on one leg.  “I may no longer be a yoki-hijo, but that has not changed my position on lying,” she said.

Painter laughed, then leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.  The chair toppled.

He winced apologetically and put the chair back the normal inverted way.  “I’m just saying.  I’m an artist.  Why did Design think I’d know how to wait tables?”

Yumi nodded in sympathy.  They both knew he’d get better with practice, but that didn’t ease his frustration in the time being.  

In comparison, she felt a little guilty at how quickly she was improving in her new role.  

They maintained separate residences, because neither felt ready to move in together.  Ironically, sharing a body did not prepare them for sharing an apartment.  Neither could be comfortable at the other’s preferred temperature, for a start.  Fortunately, all the former nightmare painters had been permitted to keep their free housing for a year to ease their transition into a radically changing labor market, and Yumi took over Design’s former quarters in the back of the restaurant, so they didn’t have to worry about rent.

Each night, after they closed, she practiced for long hours, basking in the residual warmth of boiling broth, measuring out herbs and spices and other ingredients until she knew the look and weight of them intuitively, and she could reach for each ingredient without conscious thought.  Meanwhile Painter walked home every night, watching the walls come to life with extraordinary murals commissioned by the government to create work for the unemployed artists.  Artists who weren’t him.   He’d finally gotten his love of painting back, just in time to lose his calling.  Then they’d sleep separately, and in the morning, they’d unite for breakfast and watch a couple shows on the hion viewer at Painter’s apartment.  Yumi would cocoon herself in blankets, and Painter would do his best to snuggle her from the outside.  

It was nice.  But part of her felt like something was missing.  She no longer felt that sizzle of energy when they touched, for starters.  That had been about their condition, she discovered—it hadn’t been about them.  Without the fate of both worlds hanging in the balance and a spirit artificially connecting their souls, Yumi feared she and Painter were falling out of sync.  Like a stone that refused to balance on one side, and needed a different orientation.

Keep reading

[cosmereplay]

Akane/Shallan? Is that anything?

[lamaery]

Some sketches for Yumi :D

[cosmerelists]

Randomized AUs for Cosmere Femslash Couples

Femslash feature requested by @cosmereplay

Cosmereplay asked me to write a list promoting Cosmere Femslash Fest 2023, which is a fic exchange event YOU can participate in focused around femslash ships.

In honor of this event, I decided to do the following: I made a list of femslash ships and a separate list of AUs, and then I randomly paired them. Let's see what results!

And if any of these randomized results actually look like a fun thing to write or draw, please feel absolutely free! 1. Sports AU: Marasi & Moonlight (Mistborn Era 2)

After chasing down a purse-snatcher on her roller skates, Marasi catches the eye of Roller Derby team captain Moonlight, who wants Marasi to join her team, the Bleeding Ghosts. As Marasi is drawn into the world of Roller Derby, she finds herself being drawn to the mysterious Moonlight as well.

2. Mermaid AU: Lewshi & Raboniel (Stormlight)

As captain of her ship, Lewshi knows to beware of the dangerous but beautiful mermaids who inhabit these waters. But after nearly drowning in a shipwreck, Lewshi is revived by the mermaid Raboniel, a creature so dangerous yet so alluring that even the other mermaids fear her.

3. Pop Stars AU: Shallan & Tyn (Stormlight)

Scam artist Shallan needs to pretend to be a popstar for one easy con. But things go awry when she catches the eye of actual popstar Tyn, who is impressed by Shallan's talent and eager to teach the up-and-comer the ropes. Now Shallan needs to keep the popstar con going...or does she just want to spend more time with Tyn?

4. Boss & Secretary AU: Navani & Raboniel (Stormlight)

When Navani is hired to be Raboniel's secretary, she is overwhelmed by Raboniel's harsh standards and demanding attitude. But Navani's keen intelligence quickly impresses her boss, and now the two of them are growing closer than ever...

5. Teacher & Student's Parent AU: Vin & Shan (Mistborn Era 1)

Vin is a young and overworked elementary school teacher, and Shan Elariel is the imperious and demanding mother of one of Vin's students. They immediately butt heads, but as sparks begin to fly, something more begins to develop between them.

6. Soulmates AU: Lyn & Jasnah (Stormlight)

The first thing your soulmate will say to you is printed on your hand from birth. But Lyn was tired of being lonely, so she's dating a boy named Kal, despite both of them knowing that they're not soulmates. But when Lyn attends a lecture by the preeminent scholar Jasnah, she is shocked to hear Jasnah begin with words that Lyn has long been waiting to hear.

7. Coworkers AU: Lewshi & Venli (Stormlight)

(Ha ha this one is just canon!) It started out as just bitching together about their terrible boss. But now Venli is sensing that there might be more between them...but she doesn't want to make a move until she's sure.

8. Succubus AU: Jasnah & Shallan (Stormlight)

Shallan knew that summoning a demon was risky, but she was willing to try anything to save her family, even if that meant trying to bind a demon to steal its power. She was not prepared for the demon she summoned to be a succubus, and she was not expecting to find this demon Jasnah's presence to be so...alluring.

9. Bodyguard & Client AU: Salay & Ann (Tress of the Emerald Sea)

Ann loves being a bodyguard, even if she's, well, terrible at it. Ann has been given one last chance to not fuck up an assignment: guarding businesswoman Salay, who is searching for her father.

10. Coffee Shop AU: Siri & Blushweaver (Warbreaker)

Siri is a young woman out on her own for the first time, working at a local coffee shop. Blushweaver is the beautiful, flirtatious customer. But is it Siri's imagination, or does Blushweaver flirt more with her than with anyone else?

11. Star Trek AU: Cord & Rysn (Stormlight)

Cord is Security and Rysn is the Captain, and they are Starfleet Officers on the same starship. They've been sent on an away mission to investigate the mysterious planet Akinah, where a great treasure is said to lie hidden...

12. Detective & Art Thief AU: Steris & Ranette (Mistborn Era 2)

Detective Steris has been hunting renowned art thief Ranette for years, but the thief is always inventing new devices and weapons that allow her to escape the law every time. Steris can't deny that she's maybe getting a little obsessed with this woman...

13. Tattoo Artist & Flower Shop AU: Marasi & MeLaan (Mistborn Era 2)

Marasi runs a flower shop, and MeLaan runs the tattoo shop next door. Do I need to say more?

14. Neighbors AU: Jaxy & Ranette (Mistborn Era 2)

Ranette likes her space--that's why she bought a small cottage way out in the countryside. But now a new woman has moved in down the road, and for the first time in a while, Ranette is wondering if it wouldn't be nice to have someone else around the place...

15. Vampire AU: Vin & Allrianne (Mistborn Era 1)

Allrianne is the rich, well-dressed, and the undisputed queen of her high school. Yet there's this new girl, Vin--pale, keeps to the shadows, never seems to eat...and keeps looking at Allrianne with those predatory eyes...

16. Knight & Queen AU: Jasnah & Azure (Stormlight)

(Ha! This is close to canon too!) Lady Azure is a knight, and she's extremely good at her job. She has been promoted to guard Queen Jasnah, and when Lady Azure swears her undying loyalty, she means it. Deeply.

17. Nerd & Jock AU: Lyn & Laran (Stormlight)

As captain of their college basketball team, Lyn has the popularity and the swagger. Yet she finds herself strangely drawn to that nerdy math major, Laran. Despite her teammates' ribbing, Lyn thinks she might just shoot her shot...

18. Fake Dating AU: Shallan & Vin (Stormlight & Mistborn Era 1)

Shallan MAY have been lying to her family about having a girlfriend to keep them off her back. But now her family is insisting on meeting her girlfriend at the next family reunion, and Shallan needs to think of something FAST. So she puts out an ad offering to pay someone to just pretend to be her girlfriend for a few hours, and who should answer but this girl Vin...

19. College AU: Navani & Evi (Stormlight)

Navani and Evi meet through their college boyfriends--brothers, in fact, brothers who are always so busy with their business majors that Navani and Evi often find themselves alone. Together. Feeling something grow between them...

20. Sugar Mama AU: Yumi & Akane (Yumi and the Nightmare Painter)

Yumi is a struggling artist; she works harder than ANYONE yet can't seem to make ends meet. So when she's contacted by the mysterious Akane who offers to be her sugar mama, Yumi jumps at the chance. It doesn't hurt that Akane is an actual goddess in terms of looks... Happy Femlash Fest 2023, everyone!

[cosmermaid]

Brandon Sanderson coming to the correct conclusion that Mistborn had too many male characters in it, and fixing his error by giving us Shallan, Siri, Vivenna, Steris, Marasi, Jasnah, Venli, Navani, Tress, Yumi, Akane, Eshonai, Sylphrena, Lift, Cord, Rysn, accidentally writing Navaniel, and correctly having MeLaan dump Wayne and Jasnah dump Hoid.

Now put more husbands in the fridge besides Gavilar and all will be right in the Cosmere.

[syncogon]

misc thoughts fresh off finishing yumi and the nightmare painter: 

* i should’ve taken my time reading this ahaha. books definitely hit different when savored and on larger screen/pages

- there were some tropes i didn’t like here, like painter pretending to yumi to be all cooler and more heroic than he actually was = cringe when it comes falling down. at least that part was relatively short. but like digging a hole with your lies ughhhhhhh hate that hate misunderstandings hate people not believing you when you tell the truth 

- was not convinced to care about the side characters. they didn’t really get any development. i wasn’t even sold on the old friend group being friends with each other - their banter wasn’t that good, and I’m sensitive to this kinda thing atm since I’m in my own struggle of writing convincing and interesting friend group interactions - nor were they written particularly compellingly as individuals. akane was kind but that was about it. i love the sleepless as a concept and masaka was great but she really came out of nowhere to help. and liyun could have used more development 

- speaking of masaka this is a hot take as a cosmere fan but i think there’s a point where the cosmere references get too much and detract from the story at hand. felt that a bit with lost metal, at times with tress, and definitely here. 

- hoid’s narration - i thought it fine in tress, suited the fairytale storytelling tone, but his comments felt kind of more annoying and distracting and out of place in this one. at least he had an actual role in tress...

+ the twist was very cool, big fan, i was totally misled, but 

- the reveal was... the fact that what happened was so complicated that it needed SUCH a big exposition dump, i was not a fan. like im grateful to hoid that he knew i was confused. but it shouldn’t have been so confusing, there had to have been a better and more elegant way to present what happened 

- and im still a little confused about what we saw of yumi’s world was real 

- also like who were the actual aliens they encountered lmao we’re just moving right along

+ so i was ready to throw hands when i saw “epilogue”. and then “another epilogue” ahaha. to be fair that sad ending was still a good ending itself but god i would’ve been so upset hahaha

+ the ending made me feel things. almost eked out some tears. such a good ending overall.

+ the art ahhhhhhhhh so pretty. def my fav artist / artwork of the four (i’m just a big fan of this kind of aesthetic. traditional korea + futuristic japan) 

- though i was a little disappointed with the cover. not sure why. the pure outlines don’t stand out very well and the text font/color... idk... 

* for some reason i thought that the colors being cyan and magenta meant that there’d be significance in the missing third color yellow or lime or smth. i thought there was a WoB or smth. oh well 

* are maipon sticks actually any different from chopsticks. why not just also call them chopsticks. 

- i think the preview chapters gave me expectation that there’d be a bit more with their respective magics and worldbuilding which were so cool and i wish we saw more of that, b/c that kind of stuff interests me more. top tier aesthetics for these worlds. but i guess this was always supposed to be more “inward” and more focused on the romance... 

- i think i didn’t find yumi or painter super likable on a personal / personality level either. this is kind of a me thing though. i know they’re supposed to be Like That with their backgrounds, histories etc. i suspect i’d appreciate them more on reread.

- oh yeah and i want to know more about the other yoki hijo too! 

+ this is a pretty focused book even if i do want to know more. i can respect that. like how this was a lifeswap not a bodyswap, allows for keeping the focus on the story he wants to tell 

+ will admit it was super funny that painter was seen as yumi but yumi was still just seen as herself 

+ was gonna cry at the introduction of the Machine to replace Art. but then it was like, maybe it’s worth it if it saves any other girls from suffering the - abuse, basically - that yumi had to go through? but in the end the Machine is unequivocally the evil here 

+ i do love yumi Stacking Things whenever stressed ahaha

this sounds like a lot of negative points but those are more interesting to talk about and those are what come to mind quickly esp since i’m just pulling thoughts out very quickly and haphazardly here. to some extent the good parts go without saying and id appreciate them more on (a slower) reread and tbh i might make a follow up post as i think more on this. i think i was just a little disappointed bc i came in with really high expectations... ah well. still a good book overall, and i want to give it a reread to better understand and catch some things. i think my current ranking is tress > yumi > frugal 

but im gonna hit post for now to forcibly stop myself from adding more

[digitalbusker]

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is a really good standalone novel. It does a lot of thinking about art from different perspectives, and it has a lot of visual interest. I think an animated adaptation, or even a full manga treatment in the style of the illustrations, would be worthwhile.

I suspect the references to the broader cosmere wouldn't be a big deal for people who aren't familiar, but I can't be sure.

Mild spoilers under the cut.

By the end of the story I understood where Liyun was coming from, but I do not forgive her and I think the story lets her off too easy.

I continue to think Hoid's voice as narrator works better when he's not actively involved in the story, so it's good that he didn't stop being a coatrack in time to interact with the plot.

I kinda wish they'd told Akane and the gang about Yumi. She deserves to be able to talk about her real life with her friends.

[gal-palanaeum]

stay on the phone (just to hear me breathe) by gaybrial

Rated Explicit, 2500 words, Akane/Yumi After Yumi reveals certain gaps in her experience, Akane generously offers her assistance. As any good friend would.

Teen-rated excerpt:

It started as a normal conversation—normal for them, an least. Izzy, gesticulating wildly as she contemplated what their alien neighbors would use their extra arms for during their more… intimate moments. Masaka, sketchpad on her lap, occasionally throwing out an oddly insightful suggestion. Akane, leaning forward, grinning face propped on the palm of one hand, shooting Yumi secretive little smiles that made the back of her neck feel warm.

Then Izzy, tired of talking to herself, turning to Yumi, asking her to weigh in.

And Yumi, caught off guard, stammering out a reply.

“Why are you asking me?” She twirled a lock of hair around her finger, staring into her half-empty bowl of noodles. “It’s not like I have any experience to compare it to.”

Izzy reached across the table to pat her on the shoulder, paying no attention as Masaka reached out without looking to tug her bowl out of the path of Izzy’s trailing sleeve. “I mean, I know you and Nikaro never got it on before you broke up.” Nikaro and her were fine, now, post-breakup awkwardness long since eroded, but Yumi was still very glad today was his day off. “But I’m sure you still have valuable contributions to add to the alien-banging conversation! Plus, I bet you’ve had your share of wicked solo-seshes. So just imagine those, but if you had four arms.”

“I haven’t.” Yumi said. She glanced up from her noodles just to be met with Izzy’s unimpressed stare.

“I know you don’t have four-armed bodice-ripping fantasies, Yumi, I’m asking you to imagine as my friend that you’re going to town on yourself, but just with two more arms than usual.”

“You could stack rocks while you got yourself off,” Masaka added, trying to be helpful, probably.

“Did anyone catch last night’s The Young and the Spirited?” Akane asked, trying to change the subject a split second too late to stop Yumi from blurting out, “I’ve never gotten myself off.”

Silence.

Keep reading

[gal-palanaeum]

Learning Curves by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive

Rated Explicit, 5000 words, Yumi/Akane Yumi wants to learn how to kiss properly. Fortunately for her, Akane is a master in the art.

Teen-rated excerpt:

When Akane invited Yumi to her home, she’d explicitly told Yumi she meant for the morning to be a relaxing one. Izzy and Masaka were off doing something which Yumi didn’t necessarily need details about, and the boys were also otherwise occupied, painting or lifting weights (though not together, understandably). Akane had declared the necessity of something called a girls hang, insisting that she help Yumi unwind a little.

And really, Yumi had to admit it wasn’t a terrible idea. She had been feeling out of sorts as of late. So many things had changed so quickly; it would be enough to stress anyone.

She’d come here with a bag laden with enough to keep her busy for the day. Lately, when she found herself without much to do, strange thoughts crept into her head.

Akane had watched her set out a small tray and a collection of spices from the Noodle Princess. They’d passed the time chatting about nothing in particular, until Akane suddenly stood up from her seat at the countertop in her kitchen.

“Are… are you stacking those grains of salt?” Akane asked, watching with wide eyes as Yumi used tweezers to count them out. Everyone who witnessed her doing this reacted as if it were madness, but Design’s instructions had been clear. How else could she get the noodle broth perfect every time?

“Yes,” Yumi said as she placed another minuscule grain atop what was a small but satisfying stack. She carefully controlled her breathing, wary of exhaling too hard and knocking it all over.

“Okay, that’s it. The salt stack is pretty impressive, but I’m calling it. No more work.”

“I’m not—”

“If it’s for the Noodle Princess, it’s work. Even if you’re trying to make it art, too. I mean, look.” Akane gestured to not only the tiny stack of grains, but the row of jars with the labels Yumi had carefully written out after counting. “This is not the action of a calm, relaxed person.”

Yumi sighed and set the tweezers down, then shook out her hand. Holding the tweezers had made her a little stiff. She stared at the stack of salt for a moment, unwilling to look at Akane.

Now that she didn’t have a task to fully consume her, the strange nerves returned. This had been happening a lot lately around Akane, though Yumi couldn’t make sense of it. Akane was a kind, warm presence. There was no reason for the way Yumi’s heart raced when she stood closer than normal, or when the bright sun caught her hair just so, or when she bent over something and a lot of her chest was visible—

“What’s wrong?” Akane asked, voice soft.

Yumi realized she’d been silently staring at the salt for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Nothing,” she said quickly, turning and giving her a smile.

Akane, rather than return the expression, frowned. “You know you can talk to me.”

For a moment, she stared into Akane’s eyes, doing her best to maintain a cheerful facade while her stomach did flips. “I’m fine. Really.”

It wasn’t even technically a lie. Physically, there was nothing wrong with her. She had everything she needed, and so much more than she’d ever dared to want.

Except. Except…

Yumi turned to her tray, but in her haste knocked over both the little salt stack and the jar she’d been counting into. She lunged forward to try to stop it, but grains spilled across the tray, undoing her work.

“Time for a break. Come here,” Akane said, her voice low but stern.

Yumi sighed. Maybe it was time for a break. She stepped around the kitchen island and stopped in front of Akane.

Slowly, Akane touched the ends of Yumi’s hair. “You really made a mess.” She lifted a lock of hair to Yumi’s eye-line. There was salt in the strands.

“Oh, no—”

“I’ll brush it out for you,” Akane said.

Heat rose in Yumi’s face before she could process those words. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Are you kidding?” Akane grinned, and it only made the nerves bubbling in Yumi’s chest worse. “I’ve been dying to get my hands on your hair.”

She wasn’t sure how to argue with that, so she didn’t. Instead, she let Akane take her hand and lead her to the sofa. The points where their skin touched were warm and sent a shiver up her arm.

Yumi sat facing away from Akane, who slipped into the bathroom to grab a brush. When she returned and joined her, another shiver ran up her back. Perhaps something was wrong with her; she shouldn’t be reacting like this. She’d lived most of her life with others brushing her hair for her—this should be no different.

Yet it was, in a way she could not define. Each stroke of the brush through her long hair seemed to amplify the feeling, too. Normally this sort of activity would’ve relaxed her, but instead she felt stretched taut, waiting for something.

Keep reading

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters with Tamagotchi

Tamagotchi are little virtual pets: you have to feed them (but not overfeed them), clean up after them, and give them attention. Or else they die. How would Cosmere characters feel about having such a device?

1. Shallan

Shallan: Hey, my tamagotchi is doing pretty good! Shallan: I think I might be a natural, despite never having had one as a kid. Pattern: Never had one? What do you mean? Don't you remember the oth- Shallan: SURE LOVE MY ONE AND ONLY TAMAGOTCHI

2. Vin

Elend: Hey Vin...is your tamagotchi cleaning up its own poop? And feeding itself? Vin: Ha ha, yeah! Elend: But...how? Vin: Oh, I discovered the secret backdoor the Lord Ruler apparently created that allows you to make your tamagotchi do stuff for itself. Elend: ...but of course.

3. Raboniel

Raboniel: Die? No, my tamagotchi has never died. Raboniel: Sometimes I do get busy and then it reincarnates into a new body, but that's hardly DYING. Leshwi: I'm not sure that's the intended lore... Raboniel: Any day now the insanity will start to show...

4. Sibling & Navani

Navani: I can feel you staring, Sibling. Sibling: I don't like it. Sibling: It's trapped on that little screen. Navani: It's not actually sentient. It's a pretend pet. Sibling: Like I'd trust a human to know the difference!! Sibling: ... Sibling: It's cute though. You better take good care of it, just in case. Navani: Dont worry; I will.

5. Yumi

Akane: Wow! How many tamagotchi do you have, Yumi?? Yumi: Mmmm, I think I'm up to about 15 or so, why? Akane: How do you take care of so many?! Yumi: So many? I mean, I check in one each of them every 75 minutes or so, go through their needs & wants in turn, and then the cycle repeats. Yumi: Is it...hard? Akane: ... Painter: Trust me--don't even try to understand it.

6. Renarin

Renarin: It's nice that it has meters for hunger, happiness, and training. Renarin: You always know exactly what it wants and needs, just by looking. Rlain: Would be nice if people were more like that. Renarin: It would be so nice!!

7. Adolin

Adolin: You're such a good buddy, little Shelldon! Adolin: You're going to grow so big and strong! Shallan: You sure talk to your tamagotchi a lot, huh? Adolin: Ha ha yeah, I do! Adolin: ...I lowkey wonder if I talk to it enough if it'll turn out to be secretly alive, like Maya. Shallan: ... Adolin: P-Probably not though!

8. Lightsong

Lightsong: Ugh, it's just so NEEDY Lightsong: Beep beep! Feed me! Beep beep! Love me! Beep beep! Clean me up! Lightsong: Why don't you try WORKING for a living, you little leech! Lightsong: ... Lighting: Scoot, I am giving you SO many chances to jump in with a cutting remark about me and you're not taking ANY of them. Llarimar (perfectly seriously): I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Your Grace.

9. Lift

Wyndle: ...another one died, huh, Mistress? Lift: Yeah. Wyndle: I-I think you're overfeeding them. Lift: Don't be silly! Eating will make them stronger--I bet I need to feed them MORE! Lift: The deaths of Tama, Eggy, Gotcha, Omelet, and Togepi will not be in vain! Wyndle: ...You remember them all?!

10. Kaladin

Dalinar: Kaladin, we need to talk...about your tamagotchi obsession. Kaladin (eyes currently glued on the tamagotchi): What do you mean? Dalinar: You're bringing it to all of the meetings. You use Stormlight to lash it to you when you fly. Syl told me you wake up multiple times a night to check on it. Kaladin: Listen, the last three all died, but THIS one is going to make it. I can feel it. I just need to keep my eyes on it at all times. Forever. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I don't know if tamagotchi are for you.

[cosmerelists]

My Dream/Nightmare Blunt Rotation From Various Cosmere Series

Dream/Nightmare blunt rotation list requested by @waywardtoxotes

1. Stormlight Archive

Dream Rotation: Eshonai, Adolin, Rock, Shallan

Eshonai for delight and wonder, Adolin for good vibes and a sense of safety, Rock for excellent food and joviality, and Shallan for puns and good conversation.

Nightmare Rotation: Amaram, Nale, Lezian, Gavilar

Amaram is simply the worst, of course. Nale is the worst and ALSO a cop, so no one is having fun with him there. Lezian is an unstable murderer, so that's probably self-explanatory. Gavilar is like the Elon Musk of the Cosmere, thinking that he's cool and that his ideas are fire when neither of those things are true, and I do not want to hang out with him.

2. Elantris

Dream Rotation: Sarene, Raoden, and Kiin

I think Sarene & Raoden would be fun to smoke with, but I need someone else there so I don't feel like an awkward third wheel. Kiin would be jolly I think--and like with Rock, the snacks will be good.

Nightmare Rotation: Dilaf.

Doesn't matter who else is there. If Dilaf is there, the vibes are rancid.

3. Mistborn: Era 1

Dream Rotation: Vin, Allrianne, Tindwyl

Listen I just want to smoke weed with the ladies of Mistborn Era 1 and I will not apologize for it.

Nightmare Rotation: Elend's Philosophy Circle

I'm so sorry to this man, but I feel like they would just talk endlessly about politics and the Ideal State and I personally would find it annoying and insufferable. I still love you, Elend!

4. Mistborn: Era 2

Dream Rotation: Wayne, MeLaan, Marasi

Wayne & MeLaan: lots of ridiculous fun. They definitely know their drugs and want the vibe to be good. Marasi is there to make sure that Wayne & MeLaan don't take anything too far and/or don't just spend the whole time making out. I know Marasi is also a cop but I like her vibe with Wayne.

Nightmare Rotation: Wax, Telsin, Edwarn

Wax is not the problem here. But I just got chills imagining somehow being in a blunt rotation with Wax and his immediate family. It's all of the icy, rancid vibes of an awkward holiday dinner only everyone is smoking and it is not helping anyone relax.

5. Warbreaker

Dream Rotation: Lightsong, Blushweaver, Siri, Susebron

It's a Cosmere setting, so it will probably not turn into a weird orgy. But seriously, everyone of these characters would be fun to hang out with on their own, and all together it is a party.

Nightmare Rotation: Vasher, Vivenna, Parlin

Listen, Warbreaker Vivenna would be largely insufferable and would be determined to prove that she is not being affected by the weed even though she definitely is. That could maybe be okay on its own, but add Vasher for doom & gloom and Parlin for sitting quietly while Vivenna is vaguely mean to him, and you got a bad time.

6. Tress of the Emerald Sea

Dream Rotation: The whole damn ship (after Crow leaves; sorry Crow)

Give me a ship-wide party where everyone has just had dinner and now they're kicking back and passing around hopefully more than one blunt because there are a lot of Dougs.

Nightmare Rotation: The whole damn ship (but Crow is there)

Nothing destroys a party like the presence of that one person (who is actively trying to turn you into a murderer in order to control you; you know how it is)

7. Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

Dream Rotation: The Akane Squad

Akane, Tojin, Masaka, and Izzy? Lots of fun to smoke with, I have to imagine. Yumi will hopefully be there as well, and Nikaro can come post-reconciliation. Wait...let's have Design come too because she would LOVE experiencing weed. Hoid is there too but in coatrack form. I guess I just want to hang out with ALL of the Yumi characters!

Nightmare Rotation: Liyun.

Except Liyun. Fuck Liyun.

[gal-palanaeum]

Cosmere Femslash Fest Fic List

Here’s a list of all the fics submitted to Cosmere Femslash Fest 2023, organized by rating. Check out all the ones that interest you, and please do comment and give kudos if you like it–it means everything to a fic writer, and we want to encourage as much femslash as possible!

General and Teen

Hypnotic, takin over me by Hazekiller16. Venli/Leshwi, General. Bonus fic!

Steel Lovers by Stingythefish. Mistborn OC/`OC, General

Different As Can Be by LuxViolet. t4t Vin/Shan, Teen

Trillium by Truthwatcher_Vez. Ann/Tress/Salay, Teen. Bonus fic!

Harmony of Scholarly Concerns by TrishHankins. Rushu/Venli, Teen

Never Had by BlindRadiant. Kalami/Navani, Teen

Sweetness by Milk. Navani/Ialai, General

Thinking, Overthinking, and a Pile of Letters by bridgeboy. Khriss/Design and Cord/Rysn, General

Sick of crying for blue eyes by Zvarrklingreputation. Navani/Evi, General

Metamorphosis by Truthwatcher_Vez. Masaka/Izzy, Teen

Voice by aluminumoxynitride. Leshwi/Venli, General

Warmth by Thirstspren. Yumi/Akane, General 

You'd be stars by SapphicSpren. Shallan/transfem!Adolin, Teen

All's Fair in Games of Love and War by Macro_Scenery. Lyn/Laran, Teen

A Change of Plans by Faithfully_Queer. MeLaan/Steris, General

Mature and Explicit

Learning Curves by sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive. Akane/Yumi, Explicit

Of Me by cosmere_play. Evi/Sja-anat, Mature

A Study in Worship by Naaru. Jasnah/Shallan, Mature

This Is How You Grieve Your Lover by LunaEarnshaw. Shallan/Tyn, Mature

stay on the phone (just to hear me breathe) by gabrial. Yumi/Akane, Mature

Questions for Later by BlindRadiant. Navani/MeLaan, Mature

Not the quitting kind by catharsisnt. Shallan/Tyn, Mature

A Breath of Understanding by cosmereplay. Azure/Jasnah, Mature. Bonus fic!