#i'm writing this instead of studying
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Remember that scene in Infinity war where Tony snaps his fingers and everyone thinks he's gonna die but then a figure walks in and is like "I didn't save your life in a cave all those years ago for you to die like this." And Tony is like "Yinsen?" And then Yinsen is a genius as per usual and saves him and Tony survives and Steve returns the stones and comes back with Nat and they all live happily ever after? REMEMBER???
#this is what actually happened#i was the gauntlet or something idk#i need them to be happy#my happiness relies on their happiness#i'm writing this instead of studying#marvel#marvel mcu#mcu#steve rogers#bucky barnes#tony stark#natasha romanoff#i love yinsen#yinsen
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I see a lot of posts about how people want the Moriyamas to be taken down in the next two books. And, like... same! Yes, that would be incredible, and Jean, Kevin, and Neil deserve that ending.
BUT there is a tiny part of my English-major, I-have-to-see-symbolism-in-everything brain that's okay if that doesn't happen? Like, as crazy as the mafia stuff can be, what if we paralleled the Moriyamas to the trauma that these characters have endured? Trauma doesn't just go away or dissolve, but its presence does not eliminate the possibility of living and growing and being happy. Jean might never be totally without his ties to the Moriyamas, but he can still live a full life. He can still have his happy ending.
#nora could write jerejean making a grocery list for the next two books and I would stan#i'm doing this instead of studying for midterms#just some random thoughts#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#kevin day#jean moreau#jeremy knox#jerejean#tsc#tsc2#moriyama
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A mother's word for word transcription of the imaginary phone call her four-year-old made to Santa Claus in 1911.
(source: The Harbor Beach Times, December 22, 1911.)
Through some outrageous case of serendipity I found a recording of another phone call this same child made 60 years later. Though I have to say his choice of conversational partner is a definite downgrade from the first call.
#I've started using 'our bees are all dead' as my standard filler during lulls in conversation#and no I am not kidding#that is actually 64 year old George Arthur Lincoln in the recording#I'm writing up a bio of him that will hopefully be up within a few days#because this kid grew up to be involved in Forrest Gump levels of 20th century historical events#he was the youngest american general in wwii and was involved in the strategy of d-day and the planned invasion of Japan#he was at yalta and potsdam#he started a social sciences department at West Point#which resulted in his students being called commies because why should soldiers study culture and economics instead of shoot gun at thing#he ended up as the director of the office of emergency preparedness while nixon was president - hence the phone call#this poor man had to sit through so many meetings with Henry Kissinger#his younger brother (Waunce from the letter) was also a general#they were known as 'big abe' and 'little abe'
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Ahhh, Thank you so much for requesting and of course! ♡ Valeria would definitely be the type to tease reader saying stuff along the lines of "told you they were, demonios," but would offer her support and comfort regardless because she simply loves you that much. This may be a tad bit rushed but I hope you enjoy! <3
── p.s : I accidentally deleted the original post I was gonna use to respond to the ask thus why it's posted like this-
req by: @cerise-on-top
Your hair was damp against Valeria’s stomach as she gently combed through it with her calloused fingers. Her touch was slow and tender, leaving on your scalp a lulling sensation as you continued your rant about your day's events.
“It was ten minutes, Vale! Ten!”
You look up momentarily from where your head was resting on her lap only to find her already looking down at you with a mocking, yet loving, grin on her lips. “That’s why you don’t leave children unattended, Linda. You of all people should know that,” She taunts, poking the tip of your nose with her free hand in amusement as your eyes narrowed at her actions. Of course, she knew you weren’t at fault, but she couldnt help the lighthearted laughter that rumbled through her as you swatted her finger from your face.
"I didn't leave them unattended, I simply let them play in their centers while I finished the screening tests for the last three kids.. I didn't think that they'd be able to drop the whole paint bottle tray on the floor the one second I'm not looking up!" You groan, hands coming up to rub at your temples as you recalled the memory.
-
With holiday break only being a week away, first semester screening tests were being done to make sure that the kids were learning the things necessary before the end of the year, and so far nothing had gone wrong. Usually while you performed these mini tests, you had your TA keep an eye on the kids in the room whilst you sat with your small group in one of the corner tables, but she was out sick and you still needed to get this last group done so you were responsible for keeping track of everything at once.
You definitely had this under control.
The kids were usually relatively calm and would tend to stay in their play area's while you were busy unless they needed help with anything but that was normal. And yeah, they could be a bit loud, but it was never anything so bad that you would have to turn your attention away from your task.
You definitely this under control. you had forgotten that they had had a sweet treat for snack time only a few moments prior.
Everything was going well, perfect even, until you heard the loud sound of heavy plastic hitting the floor and the yelps and giggles from the children in the corner of the room.
-
"Of course the first thing I did was make sure everyone was okay, but Vale, the paint was everywhere! Juan had paint all over his pants and shoes and thought I was mad so he ran away and left paint all over the rest of the floor. I told the kids to just leave it while I tried to make sure Juan knew I wasn't mad, but they decided they'd try and help clean it up and really only got more paint on themselves," You sighed, carefully switching your position from resting on her lap to laying against her side, head resting against her chest as she gently wrapped her arm around your waist.
There was a light grimace on her face as she thought about your story. She already wasn't fond of kids, thinking of them as nothing more than literal demons, inconveniences, leaving chaos with everything they touched, so the thought of running behind children covered in paint only served as further deterance from ever wanting kids. "No entiendo cómo le haces, I would've been fired the moment I heard the thing fall down. Probably way before then" She mumbles, earning a small laugh from you as you look up at her and send her a playful disaproving look. She only shakes her head, a hint of a grin on her lips as she raises a brow and meets your gaze, "Que te ries, eh? We both know I would've gone off on all of them. Apenas si tengo la paciencia to deal with grown ass men, imagine me with a group of 18 chamacos. You're doing God's work, Linda."
She presses a kiss against your temple, her fingers gently tapping a lazy rhythm against your stomach as you close your eyes and smile to yourself. You knew Valeria probably had a stressful day herself, it being noticeable due to the heavy bags beneath her eyes and the way she seemed want nothing less but to close her eyes and slip into some much needed slumber, but she still made time to listen to you. Your days were nothing compared to hers, and even if she wasn't the most outwardly affectionate with words, she still never failed to let you know she cared. That you were loved, heard.
"Maybe I should bring you with me to work next time my partner doesn't come in. Would definitely make my day easier" You murmur against her chest, a cheeky tone in your tired voice as you burry yourself closer to her. You hear her scoff and you chuckle once more, not having to raise your head to know there was a look of horror on her face at your suggestion.
"Ya mejor vete a dórmir, you're talking nonsense, chula," She exhales, feign annoyance in her voice as she rests her head over yours, holding you close.
"Was just a thought. You should consider it sometime."
A moment of silence.
"Vale?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
"I know."
"You're not gonna say it back?"
"You know I love you. More than anything. Even if you do still smell like paint."
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ translations:
── Linda: "Pretty"
── No entiendo cómo le haces: "I don't know how you do it"
── Que te ries: "what are you laughing at?"
── Apenas si tengo la paciencia: "I barely have the patience"
── Chamacos: "Children"
── Ya mejor vete a dormir: "Go to sleep instead"
#─ nananari writes ‧₊˚#valeria garza x reader#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod valeria#valeria garza#valeria cod#valeria x you#i love women#cod fanfic#fluff#sfw#valeria x reader#mw2 x reader#el sin nombre#call of duty x reader#wrote this instead of sleeping#wrote this instead of studying for precalc#funfact - I'm a preschool TA intern#so these posts are based off some irl experiences 💪
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Several times recently I've found myself making tea whilst listening to The Magnus Archives, and as a result I've developed a silly little headcanon...
I'm not sure if it's a nationwide thing, but certainly throughout my life I've experienced the weird stigma of having sugar in your tea. It's not direct or aggressive, but there always seems to be this vague notion that sweetening your tea makes you less strong, less manly. I rarely see men ask for sugar, and often observe an obvious proudness in teenage boys when they say "no sugar, thanks."
Picture Jonathan Sims, newly appointed archivist, worried he's not good enough, placed haphazardly in power of people who were very recently peers, and desperately trying to prove he's the right man for the job. Everything seems to be falling apart a bit, and he's not at all sure his assistants have any faith in him; he had to ask for a tape recorder because he couldn't get his laptop to work properly - that's embarrassing.
Now imagine Martin: office sweetheart, gets along with pretty much anyone, just moved to a new position working with two close friends, and the attractive guy from research is his boss (he's a bit rude and stuck up, but it's probably just the stress, right?). He's pretty comfortable! Aside from the occasional snide remark from Jon it is a good job, which is especially pleasing considering how he got to work at the institute in the first place.
Two opposing forces, as we all well know! But what's better at building bridges than a nice cup of tea? Martin makes a lot of tea, but I like to think he memorises how everyone takes theirs. Regardless, he has to ask at least once.
And so, kind, sweet, gentle Martin, his offer of a cup of tea promptly accepted, would have the misfortune of saying, "do you take that with sugar?" to an embarrassed, flustered Jon, who's trying desperately not to confront any romantic feelings he might have hidden away. The ensuing scoff and slightly too enthusiastic 'No! Thank you.' would be enough to remember that preference for a while.
As times go on, hundreds of cups of tea later, things get less tense between the pair, and Martin never has to revisit the question; but late one night, shortly before Jon is to leave for Great Yarmouth and Martin is to risk it all to take down Elias, Jon places a hand gently on Martin's shoulder and asks "Could I have a cup of tea?". Of course Martin says yes, it's the least he could do, but as he turns to go and make it, Jon calls out again. "With sugar, please."
Just a tiny vulnerability, but enough. By that point most of Jon's facade has been torn roughly away many times, but letting go of small points of pride often means more than non-deliberate actions. Having enough bravery to admit to liking something soft and sweet is harder than you'd think.
Maybe during those six months after, Martin would watch the sugar dissolve into his own tea with a painful melancholy, the sweetness a bitter memory.
#This is so much soppier than the stuff I usually write‚ but the mind wants what the mind wants 😌#I was planning to write this as fluff only but that's not where it wanted to go#But God. It's literally just like Peter Lukas said‚ cos they love eachother so much and so intensely#But how much do they ever really know about eachother? It shows how much they truly love eachother who who they are#But it also makes it so much more tragic that they loved eachother so much yet they never got to know everything about the other...#Anyways that's enough of that!#tma#the magnus archives#the magnus institute#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#Jmart#Jonmartin#teaholding#tma headcanons#Fun fact I actually wrote this instead of writing case studies for real life because the only academia in my brain is tma...#Also if you read this far put in the tags how many sugars you take in your tea... I'm curious...#I'm a monster so I take 3 or just pour roughly that amount into the cup :/
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"You have no idea," Crowley whispers, leaning in closer still, his lips hovering just above the angel's. "Once I have you all to myself, I'll show you such sinful things, you'll forget you were ever an angel…"
I am sick, I am depressed and my adhd is acting up, therefore all claims that I might be projecting onto Crowley are all irrelevant
#send help for real#i had such bad night terrors last night that i woke up fucking sick and i've been feverish the whole ass day#and cause i'm afraid to sleep now#instead of...idk studying or maybe working#i'm writing teasing aziracrow because the good omens cosplayer i have a crush on poped up on my stories and i had to do something about it#being gay is hard#being gay with a stupid crush at my age is harder#i'm sick so you can't say anything to me besides sending soup and tea#good omens#good omens fanfiction#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#spencer speaks while he is sick so he should be quiet but here we are
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dreams that dog through every past.
ava du mortain/natalie sewell / ~2.6 words / rated M
Ava and Nat both have their nightmares. No one helps them weather the tempest of their minds better than each other.
(on ao3)
#my writing#the wayhaven chronicles#twc#ava du mortain#nat sewell#so i think instead of an ava/nat longfic relationship study like i initially had in mind#i'm just going to make it a series that encompasses my main universe for them with smaller but more frequent moments#i don't have the endurance. to entwine all of this. and make it a long cohesive narrative. keels over#in an endless eventide#<<< verse name
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Charles likes to bite.
he bites his lips for a long time before he says something important. he bites his nails when he is nervous. he bites his pen when he stops writing. he bites the tip of his tongue when he laughs.
Max notices it quickly. he collects every detail and stores it in the back of his mind.
until they start to date. suddenly, Charles begins to bite Max.
the first time it happens, Max doesn't even realise it, only managing to say "What?..." before a light kiss lands on the bite. Charles laughs, Max lets it go.
the second time proves to hurt more. they are cuddling on the couch in the evening when Charles bites him sharply on his collarbone. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Max frowns, but there's no anger in his voice. Charles laughs again. Max exhales and pulls him closer.
Charles bites him when he's happy. it's always a faint gentle bite, just the very lips. sometimes Max doesn't even know which is a kiss and which is a bite. boundary is blurred. Max gets used to it.
Charles bites him when he's upset. usually it hurts a little more. it feels bittersweet. Max can feel the wetness on his neck when Charles presses the cold tip of his nose against it, covers the skin with his moist lips and bites until the spot is bloody and dark. Max doesn't resist, letting his lover leave his marks.
Charles bites him when he wants attention. usually he claws at his skin and doesn't leave until Max turns to him with eyebrows raised in question. at times like this, Max allows himself to ignore a little. he's given a chance to play, and he takes it. the important thing is not to cross the limit, or it will hurt. but Max likes it. maybe he's a bit of a masochist.
Charles bites him when he's excited. bites him when he's horny. bites him when he's delighted, when he's annoyed, when he's cheerful and when he's grieving, when he's desperate and when he’s drunk, when he's enjoying himself, when he's in love.
Charles bites and bites and bites. Max suspects there is no longer a place on his body that has never been bitten. Max start to think that at some point he adopted a third cat.
it becomes part of the their routine. a bite on the edge of his jaw before a morning kiss. a bite on his earlobe when they go to bed. a bite on his collarbone in the shower, on his neck after breakfast, on his bicep during a FIFA game, on his fingertips when he feeds him junk food, on his knee in the evening peace, on his nipple...
and then they fight.
the reason is stupid, but neither of them wants to make concessions. they don't speak for a couple of days days, still staying in the same flat. they eat at different times, lock themselves in their rooms, try not to cross paths in the corridor and take a cat each. Max sleeps on the couch, even though it's his flat.
he'll say he's just tired of spending the nights on the uncomfortable sofa in the living room, but on the third day he walks over to Charles while he's making breakfast, snuggles up against his back, interlocking his arms around his waist and rests his chin on Charles' shoulder, pressing the cheek against cheek.
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
"It was stupid."
"You're stupid."
there's no resentment in his voice, no desire to hurt. these are just words that don't carry an insult. it's more like their usual bickering. but Max will pretend to be offended. he squeezes Charles' waist a little tighter, fingertips tickling sides. Charles laughs.
and then Max bites.
#lestappen#drabble#kind of?..#red and black fics#i'm still writing something instead of studying#guess these two became my obsession#charles leclerc#max verstappen#biting#a lot of biting#i don't want to explain so i won't#charles is max's third cat#meow#english is not my first language im a mess
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"what a shitbagning brotherband" - erak starfucker 645 C.E.
and i was like oh yeah, i've gotta focus on my schoolwork, i'm not gonna procrastinate anymore, and i put this dumb shit off for all of two(?) mildly miserable days and oh fuck i have a test tomorrow. im coping shut up
i based this off of this lovely fabulous insanely Tasty art from this super cool brotherband instagram-er that i stumbled upon so the words are mixed from flonkerton and the op. all credit to op i literally had that tab open staring at it trying to suck their artistic talent into my soul.
i did a lydia atlatl doodle to make up for this i miss her
don't question what ulf and wulf are doing in the background i geniunely don't know and i cant'd raw people interacting???? why are they the only part of this drawing i actually despise but was too lazy to redraw <;/3
sorry bout the incredibly low quality here's full res
oh also here's the atlatl lydia doodle i might clean it up and post it later idk
i've become such a tumblr artist courtesy of these mad brainrots that i don't think i can draw anything properly ever again uh
also sorry to those rotting in my inbox i love you guys and it's on the way i swear after i finish this test and that lit book and that other test and ah fuck seven assignments and textbook chapter and uh </3
#brotherband#brotherband chronicles#hal mikkelson#edvin brotherband#ulf and wulf#stefan brotherband#ingvar brotherband#stig olafson#jesper brotherband#lychee's trash art#the herons#listening to fuckin aishite x3 of all the songs while writing this#i feel likeiv'e deteriorated as a person over the past few days#so tired hhhhahsjfhaskdhhhhh#i'm always lke im taking four aps instead of five aps because i'm not stupid#and then i proceed to spend 20 hours doing percussion a week lmfao#guys i just started up the club i run at middle school again and i lost so many braincells#and i realized that i totally forgot how to teach anything feels bad#i should really get back to writing up that study guide uhh#anyway ignore the tags huh what huh what
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truly truly Neil Charlie Todd triumvirate is king please share any thoughts you have on them
OH BOY ANON YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS.
I. OPENING THESIS?
Basically, here’s my abstract for this whole thing:
(Les Misérables, trans. Isabel F. Hapgood)
And having put this down, I’ll ask you to overlook it, lol. Or treat it as a very loose guide! (If you haven’t any idea what the context of this refers to, here’s a quick rundown: a chief is a leader and someone who people rally behind. A guide is an enthusiast about all things and an advocate for progress, someone who checks the rampant idealism of the chief. The centre is warm, loyal, and acts almost as a mini-Sun for the chief and guide to orbit around, to stop them shooting off on their own wild trajectories.) In the interest of complete transparency, reading Les Mis at a young age had this irreparable effect on me where I now have to think of every triumvirate as a chief/guide/centre dynamic, but I don’t think this model applies 1:1 towards Neil/Charlie/Todd. Instead, I think of them a little as composites, interplaying with each other – Charlie as a guide who would much rather be a chief, Neil as a chief who works better as a guide, and Todd as a centre who’s never given the grace to grow into that role. Let’s go!
II. CHARLIE AS THE CHIEF-GUIDE
Charlie is like if rowdiness was a Guy. He’s big, he’s brash, he’s the instigator and he’s the captain and he’s the shameless one and he’s a side character! I have always found this very interesting whenever I watch DPS; despite Charlie’s main character-ness he is secondary, and doesn’t even get his own sideplot in the same way that Knox (for example) does. He’s a born leader who by virtue of the trappings of his story is relegated to supporting others, although you can so, so clearly see him fighting for space in the story. He gets pushed into being a guide almost by default; only the trait of enthusiasm really applies here. If Neil wasn’t there he’d be the leader of their group, no question. And the thing about Charlie is that he gets things done. He’s the one pushing the most for the re-creation of the Dead Poets Society after Neil, he’s caustic about things that are in his way (“Well, why don’t you stay home?”), people follow him! See Knox running after him, asking to be taught:
Charlie is the man of action – the telephone stunt is the biggest incident of that. And the way the boys gather around him afterwards as he regales them is chief-like; here he is acting as the chief, because this is around the same time that Neil’s chief role starts to slip away from him. But more of that later.
The big thing is that Charlie never gets to really assume that role of chief, because Neil is always there. I talked earlier about how he pushes for the re-creation of the Society; well, Neil is the one who finds Keating’s old annual and reads it aloud to them. Charlie is the one cutting down the guys’ concerns about sneaking out after school: Neil is the one who suggests it – more than suggests it! Almost commands it, in a way that leaves little room for debate:
(Note that in this section, it’s Charlie who does the arguing for Neil, who doesn’t speak except to lay down the law and then ask who’s coming. Real king and knight energy.)
Charlie never quite manages to edge into centre stage. You can sort of see how there might be resentment there – perhaps there would have been if they had gone on uninterrupted. But then of course Neil dies, and Charlie assumes the chief role by default, but it’s no longer glorious or something he can covet. But he does it anyway; he wakes up Todd, he breaks the news to him, very, very gently, he wipes Todd’s mouth with snow when he vomits and tells the others to leave him alone. But by this point, Charlie going into the chief role he’s so good at isn’t enough to stop the splintering of their group or his own expulsion.
III. NEIL AS THE GUIDE-CHIEF
Part of Neil’s tragedy is that he would be good at the things his father wants him to do! He’s a wonderful all-rounder, he's the perfect all-American specimen, there’s no doubt in my mind he would have been a great doctor – except he wouldn’t, because the enthusiasm and the motivation would have been lacking entirely. (As someone who just did a shit ton of medical school interviews, yeah, they would have sniffed this guy out really fast. Or maybe they wouldn't… not sure how stringent they were in the ‘50s.) He would have been technically great. But being able to do something doesn’t mean you should; these are the things that Mr. Perry conflates and which Neil is never able to verbalise to him, except in a way in which he thinks he’ll understand:
In this scene, when he talks to him post-performance it’s not “I enjoyed it”, but a very simple, “I was really good”. And despite this concession of terms he says it when his father can't hear, because he knows he would never relent, oh God.
Actually, a lot of what I wanted to say about Neil has already been said in Charlie’s section. (The summary is basically that you must imagine me offstage with a megaphone as the movie plays, yelling, “YOU TWO NEED TO SWITCH PLACES, FUCKOS”.) Neil is a good leader, but that doesn’t mean he likes being one, or that he should be one! He has a few characteristics of a guide – he’s enthusiastic about everything, he has this boundless kind of delight in the things he loves (not idealism; that’s slightly different). But this is honestly where the model falls apart. I don’t think that Neil would make a great guide either, logic not being his forte; the irony is that the role of the triumvirate he most fits IS the chief, it’s just that that’s what kills him. The responsibility that comes with being someone who “speaks and people listen” isn’t good for him – this dichotomy of having “control” over the friendship group/no control over his personal life is terrible. He does get to lose the chief role, but it’s not in a way that is good for him; instead this manifests in a loss of control that happens very very quickly, which just makes him reach for ways in which he can control his own life. And besides, stepping outside of a leadership role with a great deal of responsibility and losing control over the course of your own life are two very different things. I just think that he should get to go offstage for a little bit and rest, with zero expectations on him ever. (Also there’s something here about how he gets to play Puck – a side character who has major effects on the story but doesn’t have to actually put his skin in the game. This is what I think Neil should get to do In Real Life.)
IV. TODD AS THE PROTO-CENTRE
One thing about Todd is that in my mind, I always imagine him as much redder than he actually is in the movie. I don’t mean I imagine him to blush more often – I mean ruddier, more flushed. Going back to the Les Mis quote – in my mind he does “possess all the qualities of a centre, roundness and radiance”! Todd is a catalyst like Keating in a way that Keating isn’t; this is never explicit at all but he has always felt to me like someone who inspires others by their presence. He’s such a wonderful, calming, grounding influence. Even when he talks to Neil and they have that non-argument he tempers Neil and reminds him what’s at stake without looking down on him. And when he realises how serious he is, he goes with it and supports him to the best of his ability – he says “Oh, Neil, Neil, you’re crazy” but it’s fond, he’s overjoyed for him. And you can see similar behaviour perhaps to a lesser extent with Charlie in the way particularly he calls him Nuwanda after his request, which is taken as ridiculous by other characters:
And even after Neil’s death he does so, refusing to go back to normal:
But the reason I’ve put “proto-” for a prefix is because these are all singular occasions. The thing is that I think Todd could be that brilliant, grounding, assured man, a lighthouse of a man, almost. But he isn’t – he clearly isn’t – at the beginning of the movie he is shy and diffident and the non-argument I mentioned early does go a little sour, because while he speaks from a place of concern and love, his anxiety manifests in the conversation and makes him a little less tactful than he might have been otherwise. If things had gone on better than they went, and if Todd had been allowed to grow and develop more and without worry, he really, really would have blossomed into this kind of centre, this very steady man who would have reminded Neil of the consequences of his actions and made Charlie care about the consequences of his. But he doesn’t get to do that – by the time he grows and becomes more confident it’s too late, the worst has already happened.
V. SUMMARY
I’m so sorry, anon, this is a prodigious answer to what was a very simple ask, but you hit on the subject I have Very Strong Feelings About. Not to toot my own fanfic horn, but there’s an excerpt from the fair folk AU which I think sums this up pretty well:
TL;DR: Charlie gets pushed into a secondary position which doesn’t suit him; Neil gets pushed into a leadership position which suits him, but he hates; Todd is willing to step into that secondary position as a behind-the-scenes supporter, but never actually gets that opportunity. Hence the tragedy. Hence the taking of lives. Hence how many fucking tears I have shed over this movie, Jesus.
(I had a lot of fun writing this – thank you for giving me a reason to!)
#anon oh my god i'm like. brewing some tea for you right now and sitting you down. thank you so much for asking the question#and giving me an excuse to word-vomit for a while#ask#dead poets society#dps#charlie dalton#neil perry#todd anderson#dps fandom#dead poets fandom#also: neither here nor there but i have a pet headcanon where the triumvirate rent a flat together after uni#and each have their own studies with todd's in the middle#the walls are very thin so that sometimes neil and charlie will have solid long arguments through them#and sometimes todd will interject and/or mediate#god i love him#if the argument gets heated neil or charlie will actually go into todd's room to yell through the wall closer#instead of leaving him alone. he finds this all intensely amusing#tristan writes
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I did a thing
Hehe I made a collection of official haikyuu art where they wear yukata/other traditional clothing whose names I'm too afraid to get wrong because that art makes my brain go 😘🤪😫🥴🤭🙄🥺😛
I got all these from google/pinterest btw so the resolutions/ formats will not match sadly😭 whoever creates these spoils us too much and i'm glad they do, also i might add multiple versions of the same image because i'm normal
I probably missed quite a few, so if you know of any more SEND RN
(press read more to look at the whole thing, I don't wanna torture poor users by making them scroll through 100s of official art images)
(idk why this one is flipped i'm too lazy to fix it)
that's it for now 🥴
Also here's some fanart which actually shows more characters, go show love to u/sleepyiwachan on reddit❤
#˗ˏˋ ★ ꕤ 「Wolfie’s posts」 ꕤ ★ ˎˊ˗#this is the shit i do instead of writing fics and studying#also i'm seeing a severe lack of shiratorizawa in these??? let my boys wear traditional clothes pls😭#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyū!!#haikyu!!#karasuno#tanaka ryuunosuke#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#haikyuu art#nekoma#kuroo testuro#kozume kenma#fukurodani#oikawa tooru#iwaizumi hajime#bokuto koutarou#inarizaki#miya twins#miya atsumu#miya osamu#kita shinsuke
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the difference between heliotropism and phototropism is that kageyama is heliotropic for hinata and hinata is phototropic for kageyama
#SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING I'LL WRITE A PROPER THING FOR THIS LATER WHEN I'M DONE WITH MY ESSAY#disclaimer i am NOT studying biology or botany or whatever#i just really like plants and knowing stuff about plants#so like. if any plant-related major people read this and you think it's a little factually incorrect#it probably is a little bit but i really really liked the poetry of it#i promise i'll make it worth it i've been reading for it instead of doing the aforementioned essay#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#kageyama tobio#hinata shouyou#kagehina#sou says stuff
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...re: your tags on the WFA Jason crowbar incident -- might one be directed to your referenced essay?
Since it's been a min, here's the DC meta post this ask is referencing.
I thought it was on my blog, but I haven't been able to find the essay in the weeks since this ask came in? It might have been a tag rant more than the proper essay I thought I had posted. Or I might have been thinking of a broader and more general essay on the current trauma in fanfic portrayal, which I have definitely posted on this blog somewhere and in several friends' inboxes.
The gist of the essay is that a) fandom as a whole has a tendency to treat panic attacks/flashbacks as the Only and Right Way to experience trauma, even though that's by far not universal and b) will apply this even to characters who have canon trauma and show specific trauma reactions!
With Jason Todd in WFA having a Crowbar Sound Flashback, it's a perfect microcosm of both! The problem, therefore, isn't necessarily WFA being Uniquely Terrible and Inaccurate; WFA just exclusively plays with a lot of softball, fandom-popular tropes, so it remains popular even and especially with people who aren't super familiar with the canon. And because WFA thrives on softball, popular tropes, of course it's going to pick up on the Best Way To Write Trauma.
The essence of the problem is actually the way trauma symptoms in fanfic are homogenized to the most palatable, most sympathetic reaction guaranteed to woobify even the most hardened crime lords and war criminals: a panic attack. But not ANY panic attack! Specifically the hyperventilating on the floor, curled up in a ball kind of panic attacks! (Characters who lash out in anger when they're scared? Characters who shout mean things? Not anymore! Now they're hyperventilating on the floor and they need tender care and possibly a hug.) The momentary full helplessness is integral to creating a miniature h/c journey for the characters (panic –> helplessness –> rescue –> bonding).
Panic attacks actually have a pretty wide range of symptoms! Sometimes they're focused more on derealization reactions or heart racing (loads of people irl end up in the ER thinking they're having a heart attack, when it's actually a panic attack).
This specific portrayal of trauma as panic attacks is, I think, most egregious with characters who would actually fucking die if they had this exact trauma response. E.g., Jason Todd, who infamously both commits crimes and fights them. If he has a panic attack at every scum bag who waves a crow bar at him, he's probably getting beaten to death with a crowbar again. If even one of his regular criminal contacts or enemies catches wind that he has a crowbar panic attack weakness, he's dead! And this could be played for drama in this kind of fanfic, but it never is. (Because drama isn't the point, quick and dirty h/c is.)
Distilling his trauma about dying into panic attacks dismisses his entire history and canon trauma response (rage and vengeance and trying a completely different tactic from Batman to better the city of Gotham when the Red Hood is being a good guy and not just being a crime lord for profit). Here is a solid discussion on how Jason reacts to his own death (I'm new here and this essay is already long lol, I'm not citing whole comics runs or anything myself), with a great addendum from Ragnarok-hound in the tags on the Doylist reasons for why the canon goes over Jason's death again and again anyway.
The problem further stems from everyone learning panic attack symptoms from a combination of personal experience (which for the AO3 crowd in the shippy tags does not as often include people with uh combat or crime experience) and actual mental health web resources, so any panic attack scene reads like it was written by someone between high school and college age checking off a list of psych textbook panic attack symptoms. So it makes sense why they would go with the thing that is easiest to write for them and stick with the approved symptoms they know will garner the most sympathy from the audience and, importantly, other characters in the scene. E.g., to return to bullying WFA's portrayal, having Bruce arrive to tell Jason everything will be okay and fix everything.
(I think ymmv more on Bruce portrayals, depending on Your Preferred Batman, whether that's the corresponding era of comics with Red Hood, the animated series, or some campy/classic live action Batman portrayal, but one thing that is pretty consistent in every Batman media is that he's not fucking great at feelings, so even with a generous reading, WFA simplifies a lot of fraught history between Jason and Bruce here. Further, I could write an entire second essay on how bystanders in fanfic always have the perfect response, to either use the right therapy speak and handle a panic attack perfectly or hug the person to help them calm down or what have you, but this is long enough as it is. To be brief, though: sometimes, especially in a situation like Jason and Bruce's, it's perfectly normal to see someone panicking and then also panic and fuck things up even worse! It's also common to feel frustrated or tired of seeing someone panic over the same thing! Like I know fanfic and WFA are wish fulfillment, but like. There's a lot of nuance and basic trauma understanding missing here.)
And that brings us to another point, which is that PTSD triggers don't necessarily manifest as anxiety disorders and textbook panic attacks. I mean, this feels obvious, but there are a lot of ways to experience PTSD! and that's the thing about Jason Todd! He has trauma, not an anxiety disorder! While panic attacks as the default and most common trauma reaction are very common in fanfic, it's not like even the top most common trauma trigger reaction? And it's weird that it's everywhere like this. Trigger responses have a wiiiiide range, e.g., nightmares, lashing out (the Netflix Jessica Jones show was especially good at this actually! Billy Hargrove on Stranger Things is a fucking perfect example too), dissociation (The Raven Cycle books do a great job with this, and then the fanfic forgets that it happened entirely), or simply activating one's fight or flight instinct (and we've seen with Jason, it's often a fight instinct!). There are probably also loads of Batman comics exemplifying each of these variations, but a) as stated I'm new here, I don't have comprehensive citations for every character (yet) and b) I really want to illustrate how fanfic specifically keeps sticking to one particular portrayal in a way that most canons don't.
Jason Todd can be easily written as having a Specific Traumatic Incident (dying hideously via crowbar) or having complex PTSD (little daily bullshit! you can do an entire deep dive on complex PTSD resulting from poverty, homelessness, and regular repeated exposure to violence as a child e.g. by being Robin, which is not even getting into the stuff you can gather from popular hc/later retcons about his mom's drug use or how his dad's working for Two Face and getting sent to prison might have affected him; another example it's a common hc that he's straight edge because of what drugs may or may not have done to his mom depending on the canon you're working with, but I don't see a lot of people writing him with the corresponding control issues that often pair with that). There are a lot of options is what I'm saying.
WFA choosing to double down on the sound of a crowbar scraping (when also like he's the one using a crowbar for actual mechanic things in this scene, he's probably used to a variety of metal scraping sounds, okay I'm nitpicking here again) over any of the more complex trauma under his belt is very lazy writing. They're distilling his entire history to one specific sound that causes a very targeted panic response, which I know. Is the format. That's how WFA works, it's not supposed to be deep, but this is again, a pattern I keep seeing again and again in fanfiction (to bully another fandom: Stranger Things fans insisting that Steve Harrington is afraid of his own swimming pool when the canon strongly contradicts that; he's swim team captain for 3 years running after this AND that's actually Nancy's trauma reaction, not Steve's).
Again, the problem isn't necessarily specifically with WFA or people who enjoy it or with h/c. But, yeah, the crowbar scraping sounds panic attack is a huge disservice to Jason's character, and it's like a ubiquitous pattern of writing trauma in recent years.
#since we know each other from atla fandom#I was going to add a whole bit about how atla fandom doesn't do this#perhaps because a lot of atla fanworks predate this trend of trauma writing in fan spaces#but then I remembered like 80% of my atla fandom knowledge was just rereading burning bright#and burning bright is exactly the kind of character study deep dive that's the antithesis#of simplifying a blorbo's trauma into a quick panic attack/hug/reconciliation and we've talked about feelings like we've been to therapy#instead of a good chunk of the batfam rogues being mental health professionals#dc#dc meta#Jason todd#sorry to anyone who really likes wfa or finds this kind of trauma portrayal deeply meaningful#you're valid too. but it's everywhere and I'm tired of seeing it slapped willy nilly onto characters it doesn't fit.#mine#trauma#ptsd#mental health
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right now i feel like , i would be happy if i could go to work, come home, have a few hours for hobbies, watch movies and read and go to concerts and do my thang on here on off days and get drunk sometimes in the evening like really i don't need more i don't want anything else
#so. it's beyond frustrating that i'm forced to study. i wish i could stop without consequences but now i can't stop#and i keep panicking because I don't want to do this and after failing like 3 times at the same thing i'm convinced i have no fucking idea#at all how to do this#and this is a bachelor's degree. it shouldn't be hard. to top it all off it's gonna be worth jack shit if i even get it#so not gonna lie if i have a moment to think i start feeling bad and it gets worse and worse and i don't know how to stop it 👍 and my#therapist ditched me lol#i don't think there is a way i can finish university. burnt out over it and so on and so forth#and i sit down to read and write and i just cry instead. and this has been going on for 3 semesters#not ideal!#kata.txt
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My creatively horny ass when Kinktober is about to end and I still have like a bajillion ideas of depravity left for it:
#wreedcultpists(posts)#for real#this is me when my kendrick lamar x reader ideas won't make it to kinktober in time#kinkvember y'all?#normalize kinkvember#frfr do it now#ao3#fanfic writing#fanfiction#my old men yaoi will not be realized in time :(#i'm posting this instead of writing as much as i can before it's over#i'm also posting this instead of studying for a future career at my college lol#there's no future for me when kinktober is concerned#kinktober#kinktober 2024#stupid shit#oohgaboogha#ahhhhhhhhhhh
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Saw the trailer for the new The Crow movie with Bill Skarsgård and...
Well, it looks cool and fun at least, so I'll definitely sit my ass at the movie theater for the first time since Black Panther: Wakanda Forever came out, but I can't help to feel like making it a "remake" of the original 1994 film (bless Brandon Lee and may he rest forever in peace) with some MASSIVE changes (RIP to my girl Sarah and Cool Dad Sgt. Albrecht, they deserved better) was a bit of a missed opportunity? Because look, it's like this
say whatever you will about the quality of the sequels, and whether you liked them or hated them is entirely your business and valid either way. I mean, I only watched City of Angels once and barely remember it, it was that good. Never managed to catch Salvation (read the plot) and watched Wicked Prayer a couple of times (David Boreanaz and Danny Trejo were in that movie, HAH!) and I'm basically neutral about it because THAT was practically a remake of the original but in a different setting with different characters, the plot beats were the a carbon copy.
In summary, the tradition with this unloved obscure franchise is that with every movie, the story changes. You have a new cast, a new city, new villains, and the only constant is that someone is brutally murdered along with a loved one, and their soul can't rest, so the crow that carries them to the next life allows them to come back to right the wrongs before moving on. And independently of how successful the storytelling was, they at least tried to do something different each time (except for Wicked Prayer): City of Angels was about a father being brought back to avenge the murder of his son and Salvation was about a guy being wrongly accused of the murder of his girlfriend and coming back from being executed to solve the mystery of her death and avenge himself and her. And this new film is just--
Oh we have two cishet people who are in love and get murdered and they're both just called Eric and Shelly and this isn't supposed to be a reboot, it's just the same plot as the '94 movie and the main characters are different people but have the same names as the two lovers from the original and we're gonna ramp up the supernatural element even though knowing so little about it is what made the original so mysterious and tight in its themes and instead of our titular Crow looking like "a Nine Inch Nails member" he'll look "like a rapper on SoundCloud" (quoted from a great YT comment btw). Oh and Eric and Shelly are delinquents so we can toss some poorly construed redemption arc, just to spice things up a little.
Just ?????? WHAT?? That's IT????
Ever since the rumors of a new Crow movie started traveling around the internet, I was hoping they would really try and make something interesting with it because this is a kind of universe (I hate that term, fucking Marvel) where there's strict rules, true, but within its boundaries you can get really creative! Like why not have a female Crow, for a change? It's always been a male playing the part! Why not an LGBTQ+ Crow, like hear me out:
how about a lesbian couple who were super in love and happy but got murdered by homophobes one night so one of them is brought back to exact vengeance so brutal, vicious and graphic even the devil would get chills (and the anti-LGBTQ+ fake fans in the audience would shit their pants)?
And I didn't have to think too hard about that one! It's basically the original plot but with lesbians! You get a female Crow AND a LGBTQ+ Crow in the same film!!
And it doesn't have to be about lovers being murdered either, like I said City of Angels was about a father and his son, in Salvation the guy got wrongly executed for the murder of his gf, why not have a daughter coming back to avenge her mother? Why not a friend coming back bc they can't rest after they and their BFF were gunned down? Why can't it be total strangers who hit it off after meeting for five minutes and have a "wrong place, wrong time" scenario going on??? How much better would that be?
So many possibilities, but nooooooo, we gotta go with the tired Sad White Boy (no shade on Bill Skarsgård) loses his One True (Straight) Love plot and he has to be conventionally attractive (and get jacked up when he's brought back bc yeah, I mean in the original Lee's character looked exactly the same pre and pos resurrection, his only superpower was that he couldn't be killed but whatever) and look badass while killing all the bad guys. BORING. Oh and 2024's Shelly is a black woman who gets murdered, don't think I didn't notice that casual racism.
Since we're on that note, why not have a black Crow???? Or a Mexican Crow??????? I realize that in Wicked Prayer Jimmy Cuervo maybe was supposed to be Mexican, but he was still a white man (with Mexican heritage, I'll give it that) so we're back to the same white-people only club! I realize there are white Mexicans, but that's not the point, the point is to give brown skinned people the chance to play a main role where they get to be badass too! Just..... AHHHH.
Listen. Anyone who truly knows me is aware I'm a big romantic bimbo. I LOVE a good love story that ends in tragedy or in bittersweet terms bc the couple are so in love and true love never dies (see what I did there, fellow Crow fans?). But nothing is gonna beat Brandon Lee's movie in that sense, that's why I love it. What buggers me the most is that, from what I've been told, the director and writers wanted to make an adaptation more faithful to the graphic novel (which I have not read YET! I recommend Into The Depths video if you wanna know more about the author James O'Barr and his story, which is a very sad one indeed) that started it all, and yet it doesn't look like it will be any more faithful to said graphic novel than the '94 movie! Like, if you're gonna bullshit about it, at least make up a better excuse.
Hhhhhhhhhh. Hollywood's gonna Hollywood, right? Joke's on me expecting better.
TL:DR The Crow (2024) is trying to be a remake of The Crow (1994) when we already have a remake (The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2000)) instead of trying to make something new and it's silly, but I will still go watch it bc at least it looks fun to look at. And there's a bit of poetry in knowing this new flick will release 30 years after the original, ig.
Rant over.
Bloopers: try to guess how many times I ended up writing Wicked Grace instead of Wicked Prayer bc I'm back on my Dragon Age era lmaooooo.
#The Crow 1994#The Crow 2024#Brandon Lee#Bill Skarsgard#James O'Barr#The Crow#a Crow's rants#I should be studying but instead I'm writing tirades about a movie barely anyone outside the comic book community and goth sphere knows abt#I totally got a hang on my life I swear#long post
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