#i'm writing more
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monorayjak · 1 year ago
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I want to come out to the people I care about. I want to be honest with them. I've written and rewritten a letter to my mom about all of it tens of times now; I just... I'm scared.
What if they don't believe me? What if they try to convince me I'm wrong? What if I am wrong? And I just went through all of this because I tricked myself? What if its the exact opposite and they try to pull me farther for my own good without realizing this stuff takes time? What if my extended family finds out? I mean one of my uncles is already a mentally unstable bigoted religious freak who's considered killing people and himself before because he can. What if people I care about get hurt? But also... what if I can't keep going like this much longer? It hurts. So much. Its fucking with my grades, I'm scared. I feel like I'm fucking up so much.
It just... it feels like no matter what I do is wrong.
Holy shit
I'm living in a trolley problem.
If I take action, it's untelling how many will be affected; but if I don't take action it will just be me affected at first. But even if I don't take action, I get the feeling the people I care about will be hurt as well, just later on. You know... now that I've thought that through... maybe I should make a list of things that could happen depending on the choice, kind of like a pro-con list, but... is that stupid?
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returnsandreturns · 1 year ago
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in my heart and soul, aziraphale enjoyed sex with interesting people a few times a century in the same way he enjoyed wine and rich food and very rare books.
and crowley has had sex a few times just to better understand lust for demon scheme reasons and maybe a few other times for curiosity but it doesn't really hit him how good it can be until it involves love and also aziraphale treating him like wine or rich food or a very, very rare book
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lich-of-the-golgari · 1 year ago
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Wedge Discussions
Inspo goes to @monorayjak, this was such a cool concept I wanted to build off that.
Sultai Edition
Blue: Here we are again
Black: So it would seem.
Green: What could they possibly want?
Black: Who cares? The question of what the user wants is arbitrary, what do WE want?
Green: That's not how we do things. That's not how ANYONE does things.
Blue: Oh stop bickering. Listen, we need to come up with what the user wants.
Green: Fine.
Black: Fine.
Black: What I want is to be in control of my destiny. I don't want to be beholden to anyone and anything. I am tired of life, which tries to restrict me from my ultimate goal. I want to become more powerful and control the world around me, and I don't care how I get to that point.
Blue: I guess I understand. I want mastery, perfection, knowledge, and the means to achieve them. I don't care if I have to use artificial methods, I WILL become perfect.
Green: I can understand your desire to grow, but I can't agree with either of your methods. I think the true method of becoming better is understanding the natural processes of this world, evolving as a person, and becoming stronger through our understanding of our interconnected nature.
Black: Yeah yeah, we all know green, things need to be natural and survival of the fittest, but isn't ambition and trampling on others the way to effectively grow?
Green: Not necessarily. We all are a part of an ecosystem, whether we like it or not. By trampling on all prey, we starve ourselves. By having individuals stronger than us, we are motivated to grow ever still. Being at the top of the food chain doesn't mean we succeded, it just means we have fit in our role.
Blue: Why does it have to be that way green? Not everything has to be about nature and ecosystems and all that. While we are a part of the world to some extent, if we want, we can separate ourselves from that entirely.
Black: I can't believe I'm saying this but listen to blue. With artifice and undeath, we can remove ourselves from the struggle to survive and just focus on ourselves. Why care about the natural order when we can supersede it?
Green: Because no matter how distant you are from nature, no matter how unnatural your existence, life and death exist in a seamless continuum. Even if you were to become a lich, your corpse would still decay, you would still become food for the microbes, mushrooms, and bacteria that are present around you. Even if you become artificial, the forces that power you will eventually be grown over as your power sources decay. Nothing is truly eternal, nothing will truly last forever.
Black: I mean, you are right that nothing escapes death, even undeath IS just another form of death. However, the ego can survive after death. How it's stored is irrelevant, as that can last the tests of time. Look at Yawgmoth. While Phyrexia was a disaster of plane, it did show that the ego can survive an eternity. Yawgmoth was present in the mind of all of Phyrexia.
Blue: Again, I do think that black has a point. Through innovation the mind can last forever. However, I do see green's point. Most of what we do won't be able to last. How do we achieve our goals if our goals are fundamentally separated?
Green: Well what do we value?
Black: Myself. Power above all else.
Blue: Knowledge. The pursuit of perfection through craft and thinking.
Green: Growth. The pursuit of connecting myself to the ecosystem and to fulfill my purpose in the food chain.
Blue: So we all value improvement of the self?
Black: We disagree on the methodology.
Green: So how do we unify our thoughts to become one force?
Blue: The survival of the fittest is inherently self-motivated.
Black: As is the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake.
Green: And Death is a natural part of life.
Blue: But things don't need to end at death.
Black: We all serve a vital role in our ecosystem. Without death, things can't get fertilized.
Green: And without cultivation, we become stagnant.
Blue: So it's important to find a balance
Black: And it's better that we are the ones to be in control, since we are the ones studying it.
Green: And as long as we keep to our positions
Blue: We all can get stronger
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noperopesaredope · 1 year ago
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I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.
Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.
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smoosie · 2 months ago
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(Which arm, Viktor, huh ? Which one ??)
They were not a couple so, Jayce (who had a very bad day and just wanted to hug it out) proceeded to freak out, backed out of the lab and never mentioned it again but, Astral Viktor, that mf ? He'd be delighted to remind Jayce of that moment in time, of that missed call and watch him die from embarrassment and resentment over himself
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(I'm glad they've never beaten the gay allegations and never will)
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redactedrem · 10 months ago
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 months ago
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
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inkskinned · 28 days ago
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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tossawary · 4 months ago
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This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.
"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.
"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.
I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.
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lazylittledragon · 11 months ago
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if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about
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katsinspats · 2 months ago
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Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
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monorayjak · 1 year ago
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More Wedge discussions
Blue, red, and green - Perfection through knowledge, action, and growth. Blue: Perfection. The ultimate goal. Green: Why? Blue: Why what? Green: Why is perfection the goal? Blue: Because it means we exist in the best way possible. Green: And what does that mean exactly? Blue: I don’t follow. Green: What is the best way possible? Blue: Well, I don’t know right now. Green: You don’t know? Blue: Right now, yes. It requires study and complex thought. Red: Ugh, thought. Blue: Oh no I’m with you two again aren’t I? Green: Yep, we’re all back here. Red: Fuck I’m tired of dealing with this. Green: Look, how about we all just agree to work together for a few minutes so we can get this over with and move on? Red: Sure. Blue: Deal, I suppose. Green: Ok… so I want to start with asking you a question Blue. Blue: Hm? Yes? Green: Will you define perfection? Blue: I just did a moment ago, its existing in the best w- Green: Yes, that's a definition, but not the one I’m looking for. Blue: I don’t follow? Green: Ok, I want you to lay out what perfection means to you, not as in the definition, as in, what does it mean to be perfect? How do we know we have achieved it? Red: Its been far too long since I’ve seen Blue stumped like this. Ha! Blue: Ok, ok… how do we know… I… Green: Hm? Yes? Red: Spit it out! Blue: …I don’t know. Red: UGH! Green: No Red, thats a perfect answer. Blue and Red: What? Green: You don’t know… because perfection is subjective. Red: Where are you going with this Green? Blue: Subjective? How can perfection be subjective? Green: Because everyone has a concept of perfection already. Very few of them are exactly the same as one another. Blue:  I… I actually see your point. Holy shit. Red: Wait wait wait, did you just get Blue, fucking BLUE, to admit that you made a valid point they didn’t see!?!?!? Green: Yes Red, I did. It isn’t that hard really. Red: Please teach me this power. Blue: Please don’t teach them. Green: Perhaps we should move on a bit? Red: Ugh, fine. Blue: Ok, so if perfection is subjective… Green: How do we achieve it? Red: OH! I have an idea! Blue: Is it explosions? Red: NO! Green: Ok, fine, what’s the idea Red? Red: Uh… well… you see… Green: It was explosions wasn’t it. Red: Yeah. Blue: Knew it. Red: Wait, I actually think I do have something this time. Blue: Are you sure it isn’t just explosions? Red: Yes. Green: Ok, good. Let’s hear it. Red: What if we stop trying to achieve perfection through society. What if we focus on the self? Blue: Hmm, maybe that could work… Green: I could see it. Red: So… what does that mean for all of us? Blue: Well, if it’s me looking for perfection, I want to achieve mastery over skills and understand everything I can. Green: If it’s me, perfection means finding my spot in the world and being home with it. Red: For me, it’s all about understanding myself and doing what I want. Blue: Ok, so… mastery, belonging, and identity. Green: I like the sound of that in all honesty. Red: Same here. Blue: Well… in all honesty I think mastery is kind of a natural progression from understanding yourself and your role… Red: So… belonging and identity? Green: Hm, belonging and identity. I could live with that. Red: Yeah, I think I can too. Blue: So… let me ask this… Red, what is identity? Red: It’s who I am. It’s my preferences, my memories, my connections, my heart and thoughts, my emotions. It’s everything that makes me, well, me. Green: Hm that’s interesting. Blue: Ok, now Green… what is belonging? Green: Knowing you have found a home. That you are with people who care for you and who watch out for you. Being with a group you’d be willing to die for. Home. Blue: Ok… so… we want to become… Green: …the best versions… Red: …of ourselves. Blue: There isn’t one way to home and happiness and perfection. Green: There are an infinite number. Red: And everyone walks a different one. Blue: Home and Identity. I… well, I like it! Green: Agreed, Red? Red: Motion carried!...or whatever the fuck I’m supposed to say.
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mischievous-thunder · 6 months ago
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Deadpool and Wolverine is a fanfic in the movie form that feels as much like a fever dream as a rom-com. The content creator only gave it an R rating as an umbrella term which includes all of the following ao3 tags:
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Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Canon Divergence, Multiverse, Meet Ugly, Enemies to Friends, Age Difference, Bickering, Undeniable Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining
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Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Survivor Guilt
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Pain Play, Car Sex, BDSM, Rough Sex, Size Kink, Porn with Feelings, Aggressive Sex, Orgasm Denial, Edging, Power Play, Cock Tease, No Refractory Period
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Semi-Public Sex
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Accidental Striptease
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Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Cuddling, Domestic Banter, Falling in Love, Getting together, Idiots in Love, Old Married Couple in Spirit, Additional Tags to be Added...
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xochimillilili · 5 months ago
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Hey come here puppy, come here and sit on my lap honey, let me hold you~ That's my puppy, just lay on my chest, yes just like that my love, rest your pretty little puppy head and let all those thoughts fall out~
You've had quite a long day haven't you pup? Look at you, your eyes are all sleepy and pretty, your cute lil tired smile n frown, your hair all fluffed up from being so busy all day... it's alright my sweetheart, I've got you, I'm staying here with you all night
Let me help put your collar on baby, you're just a little puppy after all, you just focus on getting yourself comfy love~
We can do anything you like my precious pup, we can cuddle here in bed or I'll sit next to you while you're snug in your little doggie bed. I can run you a nice bath and try to rub and scrub all your worries away, even just for a bit honey. We can watch something you like, or I can tell you a story, we can nap or do some nice coloring while I brush your hair all soft
You're my precious darling little puppy love, my good puppy who I'm so sooo very proud of, I'll always want to hold and care for you after a long day, you're the one I love~
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trickstersaint · 4 months ago
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
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vaimetanyx · 2 months ago
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There is no stopping a star from burning itself out of the night sky
Words taken from - you can love him, but you can’t keep him (Sylvie j.p.)
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