#i'm visiting friends rn though so probably not for a bit

[quatregats]

I added a few more books and some interviews/articles/blurbs related to Hornblower which were also featured in the Saturday Evening Posts, I'll post some of the art later, but I've also changed the format, so let me know if this works for people!

EDIT: I have managed to get all the serialized Hornblowers I've been able to find on here, let me know if I should look out for anything else

For those who might be interested in the original serialized versions of Hornblower that appear in the Saturday Evening Post, I'll do my best to compile them here!

[thoughtpeek]

I'VE FINALLY FINISHED BROTHERSHIP IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!

[slasherx]

Gurl you write so fast like a Machine 😂, I wish I could write like that, and also good luck with your finals!

Can I do a request for A Micheal Myers with a childhood crush (female) like as a kid Michael had a crush on the reader but like after he killed they were separated for years but them micheal broke out and came across the reader all grown up if you can!

Also can you do Rz Michael, he's my favorite

Lol thats cause I have the motivation to write about slashers rn. And thank you! I got a 94% on one of them, but I won't get my final grade on the other one for a bit. I hope I pass.

Content: Michael Myers x fem!Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, obsessive love

Notes: Even though the gif is peepaw Myers, this takes place in the RZ universe

• ───────────────── •

Michael was put away in the asylum when he was ten. Before he made a vow to never speak again, he kept asking his mother and Dr. Loomis where you were, and if you could come visit him. His mother promised to talk to your parents about it, but that she couldn't guarantee you could come see him.

And so she did. She tried talking to your parents, but your parents wanted you nowhere near that monster of a child. They outright refused her on numerous occasions, even when Michael's mother pleaded with them on her knees at their front door.

When she broke the news to Michael that you wouldn't be seeing him, Michael lost it. He could feel something in his head snap, the same way it snapped when bullies would hurt you or him. Or the same way he felt himself snap that Halloween night.

He managed to keep it cool until Dr. Loomis and his mother left, but when they sent in that nurse to watch him until they could escort him to his room, he couldn't hold it in any longer. He took his plastic fork and jammed it into her throat, cutting her scream short. He was angry. Why wouldn't you come see him? Why? Why, why, why? He didn't understand...he thought you were best friends.

• ───────────────── •

Eight years after that day, he had a visitor that wasn't Dr. Loomis. He had known his mother killed herself, his sister was dead, and Boo was probably far away in the foster care system, so he had hoped it was you.

When they sat him in the room, he had felt anxious for the first time in years. Had you changed like he had? Did you grow out your hair like him? Grown taller like him? He kept a mask on, one he made in rememberance of you. It was just your favorite color all over it.

Finally, you walked in and sat down across from Michael. A couple guards stood at the door, in case Michael tried to leap at you regardless of his cuffs chaining him to the table. He was breathing heavily - you had changed.

You had grown taller, but you remained shorter than him. Now at eighteen, you seemed very mature for your age, and Michael wanted to leap across the table at you, but not to kill you.

"Hi Michael. My parents don't know I'm here. I just...came to provide an explanation, since I feel you deserve one." You spoke, hands in your lap. "Your mother begged my parents to let me see you on many occasions, and each time they told her no. I remember one time she cried and got on her knees to beg my mother, but she just shut the door in her face."

Michael listened, quiet as ever. He was just happy to see you in front of him again. He was also surprised that Dr. Loomis wasn't here to supervise this meeting.

"And I want you to know that Dr. Loomis has contacted me since I turned eighteen, and we've spoken about you a couple of times. He told me you don't speak anymore, and that you killed a nurse while being in here." You decided it was now or never to try and break his vow of silence. "Is...is that true, Michael?"

Michael wanted to break his silence, but he knew Loomis would be on his ass if he did. So all he did was nod his head yes.

You seemed to shift uncomfortably. Your breathing increased, and he could tell you were scared. This saddened him - he didn't want you to be scared of him, he wanted you to love him. You two were attached to each other as children, why would a few murders make this any different?

"I...think I better go before my parents realize I'm not at my friends house." You started to get up, when Michael launched at you and grabbed your wrist, straining the cuffs on him.

He held you hard, and you could see the desperation in his eyes. He was all alone here. But he still killed those people, and if you weren't careful, you'd be next. The guards moved forward and forced Michael back, and a few more people rushed into the room. One rushed to you and put his hands on your shoulders.

"Ma'am, ma'am, are you alright?" The man asked.

You nodded. "Yeah, thank you." It was too fast for you to process it, but Michael was staring at you. "Please, take me out of here."

• ───────────────── •

Now outside, you saw Dr. Loomis by your car. He was pacing, clearly nervous about your meeting with Michael. Then when he saw you approach, he waved to you.

"How did it go?"

"Please don't talk to me. I shouldn't have come here." You responded shakily.

"What happened in there? Did he break his silence?"

"No, but he fucking grabbed me! Who knows what else he would have done if the guards hadn't been there?! I was crazy to even come here." You opened your car door and got inside.

"Please, wait, (Y/n). You don't know how much you mean to Michael, I-"

"Save it, Dr. Loomis. I'm going home. Stop calling me." You started up your car and peeled out of the parking lot. Memories of you and Michael as kids began to race through your head and you began to cry. How did it come to this...?

• ───────────────── •

Seven more years went by. Seven more years where Michael didn't see you. Seven more angry years. But now, it was different. Michael was standing in front of your house.

He was different now. He was more built, even taller, and his hair was even longer. You used to comment on his long hair as a kid, it was one of the reasons he kept it so long in the first place.

He could see you through the window. You lived alone now, just down the street from your childhood home. He was content watching you through the window. You were preparing dinner, when you suddenly got a call. He decided now was the time to enter your home.

Moving around to the back door, he began to pick the lock.

"Hello?" You picked up your phone.

With a click, he was in.

"(Y/n)! You need to listen to me-" Dr. Loomis practically shouted on the other line.

Michael slowly opened the door.

"Save it, Dr. Loomis. I told you to stop calling me." You were about to hang up.

Michael made his way to your living room, right next to your kitchen.

"He's escaped! Michael has escaped!"

"What?" You spoke, shock and fear tearing through your system. You put a hand over your mouth, and looked up through your window, but you saw a figure behind you.

"You're not safe! Flee Haddonfield!" Dr. Loomis begged.

You spun around to see a large man with a knife glistening in his hand. He had a white mask on, blonde hair poking out underneath it. You didn't need him to take off the mask to see who it was. Your fear skyrocketed as you thought he was going to kill you.

"Michael...?" You spoke, slowly lowering the phone and ignoring Dr. Loomis' pleas.

Michael moved towards you. He finally had you now, and he would never let you go again. He was yours, and you will be his.

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

[sugar-omi]

bruh it feels so weird to be writing smth that isnt a request... ily guys sm though tysm for sending your requests all the time, rn im taking this time to finish everything in my drafts + inbox n then i'll open my requests again 👍 anyway this was gonna turn into smut but i decided a part 2 will be best, so here are some crumbs for now <333

tags : Suggestive, all readers, drabbles (there is no cohesive order in the way things happen imma be honest), flirting, you know you have a crush on each other, touchy cove, (mention of) drinking, reader likes long hair, the length of cove's hair is up for interpretation (imagine his hair is like any of the step 4 hairstyles)

[inspired by this post: you n cove teasing/flirting with each other]

synopsis : you and cove are in college and since you're so busy, cove hasn't gotten his hair cut and it's getting longer than he's ever had it, of course you need to tell him how attractive he is with it long.

[part 2] [part 3 / TBA (this will b smut👍👍)]

it comes up when you're sitting on the floor of terry's dorm.

cove is looking at a long strand of hair he's pulled into view, scrutinizing the length. "I'm probably gonna go in for a trim... or do have my dad do it, it'll be cheaper that way." he laughs

you come in from behind, balancing drinks in your hand and passing it out to your circle.

"no way!" you start, "top three worst things a man can do is cut his long hair." you laugh, joking but serious on your opinion

"what makes you say that?" Miranda giggles, leaning into Terry.

you take a swig of your water. it's room temperature n does nothing to ease your throat.

"long hair is sexy."

cove feels his heart skip, suddenly feeling very hot and it's not from the smirnoff-ice you and lee bought during her visit last weekend.

"what's the other two?" Terry asks

"be a dick and insult your mother." you smile, taking the dice to the board game you're playing and rolling.

your piece moves up three squares, player orange owes you money.

Terry curses. "fuck! you're robbing me, man!"

you cackle, taking Terry's fake dollar bills.

coves still stuck on what you just said, and you keep grinning even when realize how red he is.

you can't help but tease him a bit more than usual today. maybe it's because of how he's wearing his hair and his glasses are hanging low on his beautiful nose, and it makes his face look so goddamn irresistible.

maybe the alcohol has you a little more brave today, just enough to make your heart not jump out of your chest at 100mph and for your lips to be a bit looser than usual.

"you look sexy like that cove.." you purr, tangling your hand his hair.

you push his bangs up to show his forehead, some shorter hairs falling out and the rest dropping back against his face when you reach around to tug on his work-in-progress ponytail.

you lean in to whisper in his ear, not caring that your friends are just a game board across from you, Miranda hiding her face n Terry making silent gagging and booing faces.

enjoying how red his ears are and how frantic he looks, you cup your hand as if to share a secret. "you make me wanna fuck you when you look like this.."

you lean back, leaving cove to process what you just said.

honestly, the two of you have been in this song-and-dance for years ever since you were 17, it started becoming unbearable, but not unbearable enough to do something.

for now anyway

it was from subtle glances to tangling your pinkies, than it went to undressing each other with your eyes from the other side of the couch. and then when you got into college it was mouthing dirty or suggestive lyrics to tease the other, and it was cove's hands on your back, hips, and leg as he pushed past you or held you down with his large palm on your thigh as he told Terry to take the backseat since you're his copilot today.

and his fucking smile when he said it, the little wink he gave...

and now it's been one hair away from dirty talking each other in the library.

you and cove are looking for the books for your shared class and he points out how the student working the front desk is giving you gaga eyes.

you laugh, a bit nervous at the thought.

cove stalks behind you, hands in his pockets and with the RBF on his face he looks lazy and mean.

"every time we go out, someone is checking you out... why are you so pretty y/n?" cove pouts, grumbling.

you roll your eyes. he's a bit tired from getting little sleep so he could study for the test he had this morning, and that cove is always a bit more... husky.

he licks his lips.

"serious. you're too beautiful to take anywhere.." cove comes up behind you, rest his chin on your shoulder and intertwining his fingers in your hoodie pocket.

you stutter, getting flustered. "c-cove! get off you big oaf!"

cove just hums, hugging you.

you tremble a bit, waiting for him to get off you.

it feels so good and makes you so excited to have him like this, to have his thick voice scratch your ears and now his body heat against you.

he removes his forehead from your neck, his hands taking a firm grip of your hips before he moves away. then in a low voice, scratchy with fatigue. "don't flirt back with anyone else, okay?"

he takes the books from your arms, bringing them up to the counter with a thump, biting back his smile as he watches the dude ring them up with a bit of a scowl on his face.

you flounder for a bit, feeling dizzy like cove just sucked all your life force out of you. it always makes your world shift a little when cove reciprocates your advances or flirts with you unprompted..

you snap out of your thoughts, deciding that the library was not a good place to have a wet daydream, and you rejoin cove as he accepts the books.

this man has ruined you..

[poraphia]

hellooo I was laying in bed and had an idea, what if the reader and Wilbur had been talking for a bit like flirting yk, and there streaming (reader isn't a streamer just visiting?) and they get on the topic of birthdays and Wilbur is like "oh when's your birthday I actually don't know!" And it turns out the readers a capricorn (I'm hoping u get this reference and I'm not embarrassing myself)

"A Capricorn, oh, Fuck That!"

➵ PAIRING! cc!wilbur x capricorn!reader

➵ CREATING! 10.12.23 | 940 words

➵ CONTAINING! reader is a capricorn, wilbur and reader being flirty, geogeusser, wilbs singing accoustic

➵ SAYING! poraphia finally doing her requests?? YUHHH im in class rn as im writing this LMAOO. sorry this isnt like my best writing but im tryna get back into the groove

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

“Wil, help me!”

The tall man sat back in his chair, smiling smugly as he leaned back. I puffed up my cheeks in frustration as I had lost another round of Geogeusser against an annonymous user.

“I feel like at this point your viewers are stream sniping just to publicly humiliate me.” I sighed. Wil chuckled, now sitting up and scooting his chair close to his desk to examine the screen with me.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that.” He said, clicking the exit screen button. I turned to him, making a pouty face. After he finished adjusting his stream so that his webcam was now in full view, he turned to me. He tapped my nose with his index finger.

“Boop!” He giggled. My frown immediately curved into a smile as a small blush crept on my cheeks. He withdrawed his finger before tapping my nose again. “Boop!” He repeated.

I laughed, waving his hand away. “Okay, okay! I’m not mad anymore.” I looked at his other monitor to examine the chat. “Chat says they want to do a QnA. Should we do a QnA?” I asked. Wil placed his arm on the head of my chair, almost wrapping his arm around me.

“I don’t see why not.” He said, smirking. With his free hand, he reached over to his mouse and turned on text-to-speech donations. Curious, I scooted closer to him to watch his movements. He tilted his head toward mine, leaning into my prescence. “Alright, chat, I turned on donations. Ask away.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder as I watched the chat zoom by on his laptop. My eyes then trailed onto his computer monitor, realizing that his gaze was also on the monitor, admiring our position.

“Hey Wil and (y/n)—!” The text-to-speech voice filled our ears, making me holt back from the sudden noise.

“Ah! Wil that thing is loud!” I complained.

“Whoops, hold up.” He reached over and clicking on some things.

“—random question, but do yall believe in star signs? and what are yall star signs?” the text-to-speech finished it’s question. I tilted my head a bit, slightly thinking.

“I think they’re interesting, but I wouldn’t say I’m a total advocate.” Wil answered. “I like doing little jokey jokes with them though.”

“Oh yeah! That one bit with Charlie when you guys were sailing around in Origins?” I asked. Wil and I had watched the premiere of that video together the day it uploaded.

“Yeah— Oh you know what, that makes me wonder,” He turned his chair fully to look at me. “When is your birthday? I’m sure you’ve told me at least once but it probably just slipped my mind.”

“Wowww, and I thought we were friends.” I teased, crossing my arms.

“To be fair, I forget my own birthday!” Wil argued.

“That’s because you make up fifteen different birthdays for every stream.” I sighed. I turned back around to face the monitor.

“Touche.” He quickly muttered. I laughed, shaking my head. “So, when’s your birthday?” He asked.

“It’s in January, so I think I’m a capricorn?” I said, unsure. I watched Wilbur’s eyes widen a little from the monitor before a sly grin forming on his face. I turned my head to look at him.

“What? Is there something wrong with being a capricorn?” I asked, the confusion seeping into my voice. I looked back at chat only to be met with “A CAPRICORN??” and “YOOOOOOOOOOO”

“Can you give a moment? I need to get my guitar.” Wil said rather ominously. Without a space to talk, he got up and rushed to his bedroom to grab his instrument. In turn, I was left with thousands of people seeing the outright bewilderment on my face.

“Chat, I’m scared, what’s going on?!” I quickly uttered with a breathy laugh lightening my words. Wil came back shortly, clutching his guitar by the neck. I scoot my chair back for him and the guitar to fit back into frame.

“Sing it with me if you know the lyrics, chat, and I know you know the lyrics.” He quickly tuned his guitar as I stared at him dumbfounded. He played a few strings, testing to see if they were making the right notes before playing a familiar strumming pattern.

I bobbed my head to the words, listening to his breathy voice sing the lyrics he had written himself. His eyes fluttered close as he hunched down a little, feeling his music. He finished up the first verse, transitioning onto the verse.

“I’ve been scared of sleeping with the lights on. Know she’s not there. I know she’s going to his flaaat!” He tilted his head a little as he hit the high note. A smile unknowingly crept up on my face. “A capricorn, oh fuck that!”

“What the— Wil—!”

“They say sex sells I know that!” He ignored my shocked expression and continued playing.

“Wilbur!” I exclaimed again. I tried to sound upset, but in reality, my lips were pulled back into a wide smile. Eventually I sunk back in my chair, admiring his concentrated expression as his fingers grazed against the steel strings. His hair gently resting on top of his forehead, covering his eyes as he turned his face down to his guitar.

He could insult my star sign all he wants. As long as he does it in that pretty voice.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

a / n ~ reblogs, replies, likes, any notes of any kind are super appreciated! if you'd like to be in my taglist or an anon, my inbox is always open :D

[zivazivc]

Yesterday I watched Help! I'm A Fish and I had a good time! Chuck's seriousness and Fly's upbeat attitude made me think of Eddy M and Ravin respectively.

That movie is SO bizarre. I showed it to a friend a couple of weeks ago, so I watched it twice now, and we both kept screaming at all the emotional whiplash scenes jfksjhfdjh

I think I see what you mean about Eddy M and Ravin being like Chuck and Fly. Especially in the context of your headcanon where they had a rough childhood. They're not much like those characters in my version though.

Eddy M is a rude moody teen who is very matter-of-fact and headstrong - he's a 13-year-old who thinks he knows everything, and he will let you know that with sassy remarks and comebacks.

Ravin is definitely upbeat and more positive but I wouldn't call her Eddy's opposite because she is equally a smartass. She is just very jokey, self-aware nerd face emoji about it. She'll go "errrrmm, ACTually ☝" whenever she thinks she's right about something or when she just wants to annoy you. That's a good descriptor actually; instead of being rude the normal teenage way like Eddy, she is annoying - intentionally. It's a bit and she fully commits.

Dunno how to better describe them lol

Since I know you'll appreciate, I'm sharing a small chunk of my "Floyd runs into the techno troll and their kids" wip under the cut. It's been sitting and collecting dust for a while now because I have no idea how to finish it, but you can get a bit of an idea of what I imagine these two kids being like:

(for context, Floyd is helping Bruce at the bar and guess who happens to visit? And Floyd goes to take an order from them because he is a dumbass and needs too long to realize who he's talking to... The techno troll and Floyd have a private talk, it goes poorly and the techno troll lets him know that he doesn't want him to meet the kids or let them know who he is, and then Floyd hides behind the bar going full blown emo mode... (Also this is an unfinished draft so there might be some klunky parts, idk, I don't feel like editing it rn but I'm also very self conscious about my writing in general so I need to point this out 😬))

. . .

Floyd felt an intense misery wash over him. He really was a fuck up.

He stared at his feet for who knows how long (Maybe he had begun to dissociate?) when the faint sound of light feet stopping nearby made him look up.

Couldn’t this family gathering end already???

He nearly choked on his saliva while standing up in a desperate attempt to find something to busy himself with and not deal with this.

“Uh, h-hi, random kids I don’t know.”

He gave up at the sight of the empty sink with nothing to wash, and carefully looked at the two kids like they were going to bite him from any sudden movements. He probably shouldn’t stare too hard but that was what he ended up doing while taking in their appearance.

“How dumb do you think we are?” the boy—Edwin said with the distinct attitude and mannerism of a brash teen.

“From one to ten,” Ravin added quickly after and much more cheerily, while she pulled a small journal from her hair. She clicked her gel pen and pressed it against the paper in preparation. “Be honest.”

Floyd was a bit dumbfounded to be honest. “... What?” He straightened a little where he was still leaning against the sink and not facing them fully.

“Is on the slower side…” Ravin said out loud while scribbling the words down.

“We have to do this fast,” Edwin explained impatiently and with uncanny matter-of-fact-ness. “Dads think we went to the bathroom.”

“Uh… Do what fast?”

Ravin spoke up while staring at her journal: “How would you describe yourself?”

“What’s your favorite song?” asked Edwin.

"Would you say your hair is white and pink or white and red? And since when is it white? Dad never mentioned that."

“Do you think the words ‘drug addict hobo’ accurately describe you?”

“What’s better, hardcore or emo?”

“I told you it’s not emo!”

"Do you have any health history we should be aware of?" 

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?

"Do we have any other siblings?" 

Floyd’s eyes grew wide from the onslaught of questions. “Whoa, whoa, slow down!” Then reluctantly he added “One at a time, please.” without even realizing he invited them into a conversation.

Edwin looked at his sister. “What was the first one?”

“How would you describe yourself? Three words.”

Floyd didn’t like the first question.

He should probably try thinking of positives…

“Uh…”

“Uhm…”

Panic.

“I’m a good singer. Well, I used to be…”

“That’s your personality?" Edwin deadpanned. "Singing?”

“I’ll just write down: bad self-image, bad under pressure, bad at understanding questions.”

"Those aren't personality traits either, sis."

"Fine! Unconfident, anti-equanimous, intelligently-impaired. There."

"Next question?"

“What’s your favorite song?”

Floyd's mouth was hanging open. He was pretty sure he just got called an insecure some-big-word idiot.

"Hello? We have a time limit. What's your favorite song?" 

“...T-That’s a hard question," he fumbled for words, "there’s so many songs, it would be impossible to choose.”

Ravin looked into her notepad with a sigh and jotted down: “Indecisive. Gives flakey vibes.”

Floyd didn’t know how to respond to that either. Would it be weird if he got upset? Because he was definitely offended. But then again maybe he deserved this. Like some kind of delayed karma.

“If you were a bug, what type of bug would you be?”

Floyd thought about it, trying to come up with some type of direct answer at least for this question. “Hmm… A grig, maybe?”

Edwin made a face. “What the heck is a grig?”

Ravin seemed to have an idea. She wrote down: “An old soul. Depressed.”

“That’s the opposite of a grig!”

“Have you heard of reverse self-awareness?”

“No…?”

“Probably ‘cause I just made it up. But the term kinda suits you." She scratched her scalp with the dull end of her pen."I think?”

Floyd, still feeling absolutely lost in the whole situation, continued to stare mutely.

Edwin was watching him judgingly. "You think there's any awareness there at all?"

Ravin gave a vague hum before getting back on track. "What do you do for a living?" 

"Rae, don't waste our time with stupid questions. It's obvious what he does."

Maybe, Floyd thought, he could finally impress them with something. "I'm a musician, actually."

"Yeah okay, music boy." Edwin replied without missing a beat. "Is the apron a new fashion accessory I don't know about?" 

Floyd’s mouth hung open (if it ever even stopped hanging). These kids were savage…

[the-sonic-crew]

It did take me forever to actually send that ngl (the social anxiety thing) im actually shaking rn so my spelling may be a bit off, but i am able to send things to people when im slightly comfortable most of the time depending what i write i immediately regret it, it sucks and yes my mom is not a doctor though she tries she never does research.

She says she researched my adhd but i assume only the rough surface of it, but thats fine ig

But yes i remember in my first year of high school i was so nervous it was like pretty much during covid but we were aloud back into school with a certain protocol i remember this vividly because i remember feeling so bad for my group members, i was so nervous and everything but when it came to my turn to present i had the papers in my hand and i shook and stuttered so bad i almost cried and you could actually hear the paper almost rip, someone has to take over luckily for me my teacher was the best so supportive she was my tnt/advisory or whatever you call them teachers you need to visit everyday for atleast 20 minutes before a class, but she told me i didn’t need to present alone by myself even though i didn’t say i word that day or anything.

If i do get comfortable with someone i become the biggest CHATTER BOX in the world and honestly im surprised people stayed friends with me, i did take drama class and let me just say that did help me slightly but thats mostly because i had friends with me to help me out in the class pretty sure i would have broke in that class all by myself…

Anyways sorry about the rant it will be hard to speak up about this to my mom but i will definitely try i saw that shadow also has social anxiety, how do you deal with it shads?

Shaking so badly rn haha, but bad shaking does also run in my family so topping that with my social anxiety is probably bad, its the reason i learned to be so gentle with things and it makes my family have to remind me with certain things that I don’t need to be gentle

Damn i realized i wrote a lot sorry about that little rant of mine

Please, it's not a problem.

I'm still proud of you for being able to send us a message in the first place.

Have you considered the possibility you may have selective mutism?

I'm no psychiatrist/psychologist but it sounds like it could be a possibility.

Selective mutism is essentially where you cannot speak in public/when your uncomfortable, but can speak when you're comfortable and at ease.

It's just something I'd look into.

Anyways, I understand it's hard but I sincerely believe talking to your mother and/or having a trusted adult talk to her for you would be a very good choice.

But I also understand it's difficult, Sonic hasn't social anxiety a day in his life, he wouldn't understand how you feel, but I do and I know how difficult it is.

Please take care, and feel free to send us a message anytime.

[mossmittens]

3, 5, 12, 13 14 for the Ask Game

This one is LONG, sorry all

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

I'd heard RAYE and Escapism before this year, but I finally started digging into her music for real and was so pleased. Her live performances are magical. Highly recommend her medley at the Brits — the bridge from Ice Cream Man is an earworm that puts me on the floor and the CHOIR for Prada and Escapism. I want to live in it. Maybe I relate to this album too much to be healthy sjkhgfkjgd

Other songs I loved: Josephine Oniyama - House of Mirrors, Labi Siffre - Bless the Telephone, Kacey Musgraves - camera roll, Bob Dylan - Knocking on Heaven's Door, Troye Sivan - Rager teenager!, Sufjan Stevens - Will Anybody Ever Love Me?

5. TV show of the year?

I mean, the Delicious in Dungeon anime coming out this year defined the year for me, so it must be that. I wouldn't have read the manga if the show hadn't swept me away. Genuinely, it is impossible to guess the person I would be today if I hadn't seen it, which feels crazy.

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

This is like a part 2 to the previous question djghfhjd. I absolutely refuse to choose just one, though. I found a core group of fandom friends that I really adore. Pompoms, making stupid emojis and edits just to make them laugh, forcing them to stream video games for my amusement while I very loudly eat sandwiches into the mic, stupid in-jokes we can't possibly explain without sounding insane. It's a complete pleasure to know them 💞 mwah mwah mwah to you all

But that's not all! I started talking to mutuals I've had for years and made some new ones. I've never really talked to people here before and I always felt like I was shouting into the void. It's been a nice change of pace and I love my little circle to bits.

Sorry for the long-winded answer, but I have so many warm feelings rn!

FYI: My backup accounts are @moss-mittens or @mossmittens2 (for dunmeshi stuff), if you would like to follow them. Won't be posting there unless I get nuked again, so don't worry about double posting. Also happy to share my Discord with moots :)

13. How was your birthday this year?

It was actually a shit day in the moment, but it turned out to be a really special memory. My whole family visited my grandpa, who I share a birthday with. He had a big health scare last December, so we were worried about him not making it to his birthday but he did!!

What makes it special is that he winded up passing two weeks ago. He was my favorite out of an army of grandparents, step-grandparents, ex-step-grandparents. I'm so lucky that I got to spend one last birthday with him, so I'm gonna treasure that stupid, awful day forever.

14. Favorite book you read this year?

A Curious History of Sex by Kate Lister is a complete joy, though I admit I haven't finished it. It's more of a collection of essays on selected parts of sex history than a wide-ranging deep dive, but the writing is easy to get through. It's very sex positive and sex work positive.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I reread The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. It's a mystery written for children and you can probably get through it in an afternoon. It's just a wonderful and well-constructed story. Highly recommend to people who like to read a mystery and don't try to solve it haha

[imnotshua]

don't let me tempt you / ch.2

pairing: angel!seokjin x angel!f.reader ⇢ au: angels & demons ⇢ genre: forbidden romance, friends 2 lovers, comedy(?), fluff, eventual smut (not in this chapter), lite angst ⇢ summary: Seokjin is temporarily banished from Heaven and you're not all that good at paperwork. ⇢ chapter wc: 4k ⇢ rating: fic rating is explicit/18+ for eventual smut; chapter rating is 16 & up bc they're the equivalent of ken dolls rn, but minors please DNI anyway. This isn't for you. ⇢ chapter warnings: LOTS of religious imagery but please remember that this isn't meant to be accurate, it's crack Good Omens style nonsense. Author is an atheist. Swearing. Drinking. Implications of loss of faith. If there's any tags you think I'm missing, please let me know - I'd hate to be the cause of any upset or discomfort ⇢ a/n: thank uuuuuu @ugh-yoongi for reading this over, i adore you

chapter 1 here

chapter 2

736 BC

August 12th. 6:13pm. Sunshine.

It’s been ninety-one years and twenty-six visits to Earth since your first cup of tea. Since then Seokjin has shown you could enjoy so many more earthly pleasures than you thought possible. He makes an effort to show you something new every time you visit, and humans, as it turns out, are so much more creative than angels give them credit for. You’re really starting to enjoy it here. Every time, you wish you could stay longer. And so you learned you could convince Turiel to add routine patrols on all your banishments - by all accounts you’re only ever visiting Earth on ‘Official Business’. 

(‘Managed to convince’ isn’t really the right turn of phrase, more like you briefly floated the idea and Turiel near bit your hand off to add more to your workload.)

Of course the visits mean more reports in theory, but truth be told there aren’t that many banishments to keep on top of, and you spend far less time with the other banished angels than anyone else need know. That isn’t the case for Seokjin’s visits. No, you could spend an entire day in his company and feel like it’s been no time at all. For those reports alone, you need to twist the truth. 

Your stomach growls and Seokjin tuts. 

“If you didn’t wait thirteen years between visits,” he grumbles. “Your stomach wouldn’t be so loud.”

You open your mouth to say that the only reason you have any interest in Earth is because of Seokjin and his friends (though maybe by now they count as yours too, it’s something you’ll have to ask Taehyung) but the sour look on his face gives you pause.

(Ah yes. Taehyung. Your readers will probably be wondering why he’s still alive. Well, they all are. As it turns out the change from human to vampire was irreversible, and all Seokjin had been able to do was make it so they’re not quite as immortal as angels and demons are. In short - one could kill the three of them with a stake to the heart, if they should wish. When you found out Seokjin had omitted the truth (his words) about their lack of demise, that had been the biggest (and only) argument you’ve had in the centuries you’ve known him. Jimin had cried. It was very embarrassing.

Of course, you’d moved past it, because there was little to be done to change anything, and you actually rather like the company of the vampire trio. Yoongi is another anomaly, he should be dead too, and he kind of- he sort of is. Seokjin calls him a ghoul. But having met him, you can’t say he’s as evil as the handbooks make ghouls out to be. A grouch, definitely, but you can see why Seokjin likes to keep him around. 

Anyway, the point of this opening was not Seokjin’s lie of omission. The point is Seokjin’s current disposition.)

“Why are you in such a mood?”

“I’m not in a mood,” Seokjin shoots back.

“You are,” you counter. 

“Am not.” 

“Are too.”

Seokjin flicks you on the forehead. 

“Ow!”

“Please stop,” snaps Namjoon from the corner of the room. “Some of us are trying to study.”

You crane your neck to spy on the book he’s reading. Heraclitian Philosophy. 

Seokjin notices you looking. “Namjoon fancies himself as one of the new age philosophers,” he whispers. “He won’t listen but I keep telling him they’re a bunch of miserable fu-”

“I can hear you,” says Namjoon, pointedly.

You and Seokjin share a private smile.

“We missed you,” he murmurs.

“Missed you too,” you say, cheerfully. 

You dip a spoon into the pot Seokjin is standing over, and he chastises you for tasting too early (it’s not ready, so he says) but it’s so good that you can’t help yourself. 

“Mmm,” you hum, appreciative. “My favourite.”

He’s strawberry red again. 

“Where do strawberries grow?” you ask.

Seokjin laughs. “You always ask such weird questions.”

You bonk him on the head with your spoon. 

“Answer please.”

“Dunno,” says Seokjin with a shrug. “I haven’t seen any here.”

“In Europe!” Namjoon calls over.

“Thank you!” you shout back.

“Why do you ask?” says Seokjin.

“I want to try one.”

He tilts his head, a curious puppy if you ever saw one. 

“I invented them,” you answer his unasked question.

“You?”

You frown. “Yes, me.”

“You made food?”

“I made lots of things.”

“But you didn’t try anything?”

“Well why would I? I made lovely things in pretty colours just like they asked and sent them off to Agriculture.”

Seokjin smiles sardonically, saying, “such a good little angel, aren’t you?”

You beam even though it’s a non-compliment, and Seokjin rolls his eyes, but this time the look in his eye is one of affection.

“What else did you invent?” Seokjin asks, and off you go, listing all the things in your roster until you lose your breath. 

After dinner, Namjoon goes out to meet the others for a dinner of their own, leaving you and Seokjin sitting in front of an open window, sipping tea and catching up on the happenings over the last decade. 

Seokjin seems down. He leaves his tea to go cold and picks at loose threads on his tunic.

After a while, you ask, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” 

Your friend’s face falls into a dejected pout. “Time’s almost up,” he says with a heavy sigh. “Thirty years left and I’ve hardly been anywhere. Hardly seen a thing.”

Seokjin always claims he’s not sentimental, but you look at the home he’s built for himself, the friends he keeps, the trinkets that adorn the room, some four-hundred years old, and you deduce that there is little truth to that statement. What he isn’t is someone who tends to feel sorry for himself. 

It’s unsettling, seeing him like this. 

“It’ll be okay,” you tell him. “Once you’re back home you’ll have your miracles, and you can have all of this and more in Heaven.”

Seokjin rolls his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I’ll be there too,” you tack on.

His responding smile is a little pitiful, but a smile is a smile, and if that’s all he’s got, you’ll take it.

729 BC

January 28th. 6:56pm. Snowing.

Taehyung says he’s invented a game. It’s called truth or dare, and the objective is to tell the truth when you’re asked a question, or do something at the other player's request. Despite asking on several occasions, there seems to be no clear rules on how to win.

“This isn’t a criticism of your creativity, Taehyung,” you say gently. “But it seems as if there’s no real point in playing if your point scoring system is flawed.”

Taehyung stares at you. Jimin hides a laugh behind his hand.

“How do we know when to end the game if there’s no objective winner?” you ask.

They ignore you, and Namjoon suggests it would be better to write down the dares and questions and draw them from different jars. For yours, you write down things like eat exactly 2/7ths of an apple and what time is it?

Jimin pours drinks, because apparently there’s also ‘forfeits’ in the form of ‘taking a shot’ if you can’t answer truthfully or complete a dare, but you can’t imagine why either thing would be such difficult tasks to complete. 

“Why would I lie, though?” you ask again. “It’s my job to be divine.”

“You’ve lied for me on more than a hundred occasions,” Seokjin reminds you.

 “Nonsense,” you say, haughtily. “That was for the greater good.”

Jimin and Taehyung share a funny look.

Namjoon coughs. “Shall we just play?”

You grumble something about rules being made to be followed that the others pointedly ignore, and Yoongi is the first to draw from the dare pile, and Taehyung- who is reading over his shoulder- shrieks.

Run naked to the end of the street and back <3

Oh. 

Yoongi turns as red as a ghoul can go (which is to say, not very) and says he’s glad he can turn invisible, and promptly disappears from view. The only suggestion that he even leaves the room is the door opening and closing.  Jimin says pointedly that he bets Yoongi is still in the room, but a minute later the door goes again, and Yoongi appears once more at the table, pink-cheeked and panting. Jimin scowls like a child and calls him a spoilsport.

The game continues in this vein until Namjoon gets your dare.

“Put on socks?” he says, confused.

“Yes!” You nod. “It’s very cold.”

Seokjin laughs. “You really are an angel.”

You beam at him.

Namjoon goes to find socks.

“Stop making googly eyes at each other,” says an exasperated Jimin. “I’m bored.”

Taehyung nudges the jars toward Seokjin. “Your turn.”

He makes a drawn out show of searching for the best one while not actually looking, claiming he can tell who wrote it by the way they folded the paper. He pulls out one he says was ‘obviously’ written by Yoongi, but by the gleeful look on Jimin’s face, you wonder if it was really him.

“Kiss your favourite person in the room,” reads Seokjin. He stares very hard at the paper. He’s not even blinking.

Taehyung and Jimin break the silence with a giggle. Namjoon is back, with more socks on, and his eyes dart between you and Seokjin. And now your eyes have turned into curious little fiends too, looking from Seokjin to the paper to Seokjin to the paper, to your hands, which are suddenly very interesting for no reason at all.

Seokjin looks at you for a long time. Seokjin turns red. And then Seokjin kisses Yoongi on the cheek.

“Forfeit!” yells Namjoon.

723 BC

March 9th. 8:02pm. A little chilly, but not unpleasantly so.

Today, the cold weather has you craving kimchi jjigae, and Seokjin has only complained three-hundred times about it. He says he made a table full of food, he asks why you can’t wait until everyone else arrives, he says of course you’d want the one thing he hadn’t made. He makes it anyway, and mutters that none of his other friends are as demanding nor as needy, including Taehyung. 

The reason for the sheer amount of food adorning the table is because today is Yoongi’s birthday, and Seokjin is throwing him a party. Even though he’s sort of dead… and doesn’t need to eat. (It’s both pointless and confusing.)

You sit in front of the fire, bowl of jjigae warming your belly, kicking your legs contentedly while you wait for the guests to arrive. 

Seokjin is anxious. He adjusts the position of the furniture six times. He wipes over his ornaments twice. He sweeps the floor three times and shoots you a glare when you try to help by using a little miracle to evaporate every speck of dust in the entire house. Normally he appreciates the privilege your miracles bring, since he lost access to his own, not tonight apparently. At first you attribute his sour mood to the idea of people he hardly knows invading his space, because while Yoongi is the quietest being you’ve ever known, he’s somehow friends with everyone in a twenty-mile radius. But Seokjin has hosted before - it’s nothing unusual for him to play host for others and dissolve into the background once everyone starts enjoying themselves. 

No. Something else is going on here.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask.

“Talk about what?” Seokjin mutters with a scowl, distracted by fussing over a china pot that’s apparently three millimetres out of place. 

“Whatever it is that has you acting like you’re not enjoying my company.”

Seokjin looks up at you, expression unreadable. The silence hangs uncomfortably until it’s interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. It’s the first guests, bringing with them gifts of food and wine. 

People filter in quickly after that. You don’t know many, but those you recognise offer a friendly hello or a polite bow in your direction. You tend to keep your distance from most people, at least those who don’t know your true identity as an Angel of the Lord, but you do enjoy their idle chatter. It’s ever so interesting, the matters that concern them, the small things that bring them joy in their (without any disrespect) insignificant lives. You’d tried engaging a human in conversation once, at a market Seokjin brought you to, but Taehyung had laughed and suggested you needed more practice interacting with people. After that you lost your confidence. 

Perhaps tonight could be another opportunity, if Seokjin has enough wine to make his guests less suspicious. 

You jump up, fetching bottles and cups from the other room and passing them around with a smile. The humans accept them gratefully. There’s nothing like alcohol to get people talking. Thirty minutes later the room is full, and loud, and everyone is on (at least) their third drink. With a wave of your hand, the guests' cups are refilled, and thankfully it’s only Seokjin that seems to notice. He waves you over from the other side.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Helping,” you say.

“We don’t need to get everyone drunk before he arrives.” He stares at the door.

“I don’t think Yoongi would mind,” you say. “Hasn’t he been half-drunk every time I’ve seen him?”

“Oh, not him,” Seokjin says absent-mindedly.

You frown.

“Who then?”

Just then, the door bursts open and a dishevelled Yoongi is carried through on the shoulders of Taehyung and Jimin, with a panicked Namjoon following closely behind - hands outstretched as if that would help Yoongi if he were to fall. 

Everyone cheers. Someone pours them a drink. Seokjin continues to stare at the door.

Weird.

After leaving Seokjin to his own devices you decide to work the room and quickly discover how right you were about the alcohol. It’s been forty-five minutes and you can’t escape a man who doesn’t seem to know whose birthday it is, but is very glad for the opportunity to talk about his herd of goats and all the trouble he’s having with one particular fox. 

“I wouldn’t mind if it was a one off but it seems like the bastard has it out for me.” 

“That’s terrible.” You commiserate, trying to look interested while scanning the room in search of an out. The few people you know well enough to call for help from are otherwise occupied. Taehyung is pouring wine into Jimin’s open mouth. Yoongi and Namjoon are sitting around the table deep in conversation with an elderly woman and her husband. 

“-usually one a day,” he says, slurring his words. “Sometimes two!” 

“Awful,” you agree.

Seokjin is standing by the door, face impassive, talking out of the corner of his mouth to a man who wasn’t here earlier. He’s impossibly tall, doesn’t look like anyone else in the room, all sallow skin and sunken eyes. Seokjin has a wrinkle in his nose suggesting there’s a bad smell nearby. You’d bet your immortal soul it’s the man next to him.

“-at this point it’d take a bloody miracle to save my herd-”

“A miracle,” you echo, hardly listening, too busy looking at how the man holds out his hand. The eager gleam in his hollow eyes. How Seokjin’s lips curl with distaste but he shakes his hand anyway.

“I’m fucked if it carries on,” your companion says, voice breaking.

 “Yeah,” you breathe. There’s a pit forming in your stomach. “Fucked.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yes, me too,” you say. “I’ve just got to- uh- go… Over there.” And you’re weaving through the people in the room to get to Seokjin and the stranger who has your hackles raised like no one else has had in centuries.

“Seokjin!” you say with false brightness, smile tight. “Who’s your friend?”

Seokjin turns to you, eyes wide and desperate.

“Not now,” he whispers. “Please.”

You stand firm, undeterred. “I’m Seokjin’s friend-” 

And then the man turns his glare on you, and you see it. You smell it. 

A demon.

You can hardly contain your gasp. 

The demon grins. His teeth are unbrushed. “The angel says she’s your friend, Seokjin, and you haven’t told her what you’ve been doing? Who you’ve been talking to. Tut tut.”

Your gaze snaps to Seokjin who looks like he’s about to be sick.

“Told me what?”

“Not now,” Seokjin snaps. 

You’ve never seen him like it, not once in three centuries. Face suddenly hard and unmoving. Not even during your fight about his friend's lack of mortality. The pit in your stomach grows. Something horrible is happening and you can’t figure it out. 

“Go home,” he says, resigned. “We’ll talk later.”

“But it’s Yoongi’s birthday-” you start, but the hard line of Seokjin’s lips tell you your argument is pointless.

“He’s my friend, Angel,” he says, voice raising enough to attract a few looks from the people nearby. “Mine. Not yours. Go.”

Seokjin shouts. Shouts often, in fact. A drama queen if one ever existed. But Seokjin doesn’t shout at you. Not like that. One last wary glance between your friend and the demon at his shoulder, and you’re back at your desk wondering what in Heaven just happened.

723 BC

March 10th. 6:42am. Cold. Uncomfortably so, but perhaps that’s just the vibe in the room.

Seokjin doesn’t notice you’re back. But then he is fast asleep in his chair, several empty bottles at his feet. There’s drool running down his chin.

“Wake up,” you say. The miracle helps him along with stirring. You’re impatient this morning. He blinks awake, and upon seeing you standing above him, he groans.

“M’too drunk for this righnow.”

“Then sober up.”

Seokjin scowls and slurs in an accusatory tone, “you took my miracles, remember? You’ll hav-to wait for me to do it the human way.” He’s very green. “Pass me a bucket won’t you, m’gonna be sick.”

You arch an eyebrow, thoroughly disgruntled, and he groans louder as the alcohol dissipates from his bloodstream.

Now sheepish, Seokjin straightens up awkwardly. He doesn’t look at you.

“I don’t care for the way you treated me last night,” you begin. 

Seokjin nods.

“Yes. Sorry.”

“I also don’t care for your meeting with demons.”

Seokjin shifts awkwardly, rubs at his forehead, but the apology you expected is noticeably absent.

You suck in a breath. “Aren’t you going to explain?”

He nudges one of the bottles on the ground with his toe, watching it turn on its side, letting the silence hang heavy around you.

After a minute, you can’t bear it any longer. “Seok-”

“Can’t you see I’m miserable?” he cuts in. 

You sigh. “Well, yes I had noticed.”

You know it’s been a long time since he’s been home, there’s bound to be some apprehension about returning. But you’ll be there too. You’ve got sway with the committee now that you’ve been “putting in the work” with the banished angels, you can put in a good word for him, get him into a position that gives him more freedom to visit Earth now and then. You explain all this, but Seokjin shakes his head, but apparently that wasn’t a good idea because he holds it in his hands and groans.

“Angel, you don’t get it,” he snaps. “Why would I want to go back? Back to that place where they only give a shit about one corner of the world-”

“That’s not true-” you interject.

“It is true,” Seokjin insists. “The past four-thousand years it’s been Jerusalem this, Jerusalem that. Bethlehem and Jordan and Egypt.”

“They’re great places!”

“Yes, but everywhere else is great too. What makes one place better than the rest? What was the point of making all of this beauty if the one book of any importance doesn’t talk about it? If it’s just going to be gone-” He snaps his fingers. “-in two thousand years. All anyone goes on about is Noah, and Abraham, and Joseph and his stupid fucking coat! What is the point of me? Of us?”

“It’s in the plan-”

“Oh- who cares about a coat? What could the plan possibly say about that?” Seokjin is standing now, red faced and pulling at his hair. “What about these people?” He’s raising his voice again. “These people here? The people on the other side of the world? Where are their stories? Why isn’t anyone writing about them?”

“They will!”

“When?” 

You don’t know. You don’t know anything. 

“When it’s significant!”

“Isn’t everyone significant? Isn’t that the point?”

Yes. Yes and no. They’re obviously significant to each other, but not necessarily in the grand scheme of things. Seokjin doesn’t like that answer. His frown deepens when you suggest his faith is being tested.

“That was the stupidest idea they could’ve come up with,” Seokjin rants. “the notion of testing and tempting. No one can live without breaking one of these ridiculous made up rules or else our souls be damned for eternity. What’s the point? Be miserable for your entire life or be miserable for eternity. Can’t anyone enjoy anything without worrying for their immortal soul?”

“I don’t like this conversation,” you say.

“Of course you don’t,” says Seokjin bluntly. “Makes you uncomfortable, does it? You know I have a point and you don’t like thinking badly of our Heavenly Mother.”

You frown. “I’m not thinking badly of Her. It’s just- I don’t know. I don’t like it when you make me question things. We’re made to obey.” 

Seokjin scoffs. His eyes are so unusually cold. “I don’t want to obey.”

Your breath catches.

“What are you saying?” 

Seokjin hesitates. There’s a moment where you think he won’t say it, but then - “I hate it up there, Angel,” he says, and your throat goes dry and tight and uncomfortable as you remember the way the demon’s tongue rolled around the word angel, how it’s so different from the way Seokjin addresses you. You recognise the demon now, know him for exactly who he is and what he did to your friend. Leviathan, Prince of the Seraphim, tempting mankind and angels alike into heresy.

“You can’t seriously want to join their side?”

Seokjin’s face goes tight. “Of course I don’t. I want to be on my own side.”

There’s a beat of silence. 

You stare at one another.

“I’m not going back,” he says, brows knitting together.

“You have to.” 

“Angel-” he says it gently, with a tenderness so at odds with the way he spoke only moments before. “I can’t. I won’t be a hypocrite.”

“No-” you shake your head, reaching out and taking his hands in yours. He stares at you, confused by your insistence and your tears threaten to spill over. “Seokjin you don’t understand- if you don’t go back, they’ll know, they’ll kill you for defecting-”

“They can’t-”

“They can,” you insist. “Holy fire.”

Seokjin pales. 

“You haven’t got your miracles. You can’t survive it.”

He drops your hands. Sinks into the chair behind him and stares blankly at the wall. 

“Come back when you’re called, Seokjin,” you say, resolute. “For my sake.”

His eyes flit to meet yours. 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“It won’t be as bad as you think,” you say desperately, but you don’t know who you’re trying to convince at this point. It might be your home but Seokjin has never liked the way it’s run. But he’ll be safe, and that’s what matters. “I’ll help you.”

Seokjin smiles weakly. “Alright, Angel.” 

“Another thing I don’t care for is the way you’re calling me Angel.”

“Why?”

You reach out, pick a loose thread from the shoulder of his tunic. “It implies we’re too different.”

“Aren’t we different?” he says. 

He’s not looking at you. Instead his absent gaze is turned into the empty fireplace, staring at the ash left over from the night before.

“Not in that sense.”

Seokjin’s lips twist in a way that silently says not yet.

[spotsupstuff]

hi

you've mentioned that sparrows would have reincarnated as a slugcat?

would you mind elaborating on that?

also would they have met caper again after becoming all scuggy?

heehee

hoohoo hee :)c of course i'll elaborate! it is Her ✨ Fish's little best animal friend

wonderfully enough, Sparrows and the Tinkerer were developed completely removed from each other in my head, so Tinkerer still feels like a rather separate character from Sparrows even though they somehow wound up havin a lot of similiarities. exactly how the reincarnation stuff should feel like

the Tinkerer is Sparrows! and no character in-universe will ever find out. it isn't important. nobody but Tinkerer is affected by this, and Tinktink doesn't really have the means to speak about it. but for us behind the screens that know about this it will make Tinktink's interactions with the world just a lil bit more juicy

you've sent this at a good time, too! the day ur question came in i was actually pondering how to somehow make use of this reincarnation fact and not just let it float about as a lil bonus for the people that would know about this lil tiny ultimately unimportant connection

so, the idea: as we (probably) all know, Euros is going to end up developing the Rot. this is distressing for a large amount of reasons, but the main point rn is that Euros is also a secret archive of folklore of the lower circles in the Eo group, plus maybe even a little bit over the range's borders to the east (after all, there's two more groups right next door to him n he's a phone operator chief). Euros is going to die a slow painful death and he won't be able to care for or save his collection of knowledge, which somehow manages to hurt him more than the reality of his impending doom

maybe not so surprising, considering that in his archive are the stories, the history, the spirit of his late lover's home- a place he clung to for as long as he could, the one he spent the most time in with his overseers, the one that held people he constantly wished could be his citizens instead of the vile and fake *things* soiling the streets of Ales

so one day after the Fish has properly reconnected to the Eo group, is caught up on current events and trying his *damnest* to revive Mission Self-preservation even though it is guaranteed to be useless, Euros mentions the nightmare that he's living through

"I'm a dead man walking, carrying precious treasures of people that were never heard crying out. I've held them close and safely within myself for over two thousand years. And now, when I'm fated to rot through and splatter on the ground, I fear all this time will be for nought. That I will kill what I've been protecting for so long."

"Even if nobody ever reads these- learns of them, hears them out from above their graves- I can't bear the thought of losing them."

and well Fish DOES have a lot of beef with Euros, but at this point this bitterness is starting to give away to desperation and horror of the terrible torment waiting for them in the future. he might be stubbornly still trying with the Mission, but he would go against what makes him himself if he didn't acknowledge that they are all damned for good no matter what he tries. so he gives in to the pity and hails Tinkerer to his chamber

he explains to her what he needs her to do and tells Euros about the plan. Tinktink has to travel all of this distance

to get to Euros (basically walk through the whole Europe), but dammit, she helped one Iterator that became her closest friend, she will help another one (a different Gen 2 that she loved and dedicated her whole life to in a different life)

Fish sends her on her way with a hug and a plead to keep herself safe

it takes her over a month to get there even with the help of vehicles like the barely working trains and a remshackle sky-sail that Fish guided her through fixing in their free time together. when she gets on top of Euros' structure, the dejavus start to hit. she visits the Mechanics' home, her feet carrying her to the bedroom as if it was just another end of the workshift. she looks in the cupboards she- opened millions of times- never even touched. she walks outside and then down the path to the entrance into the Iterator she's- taken countless times- never set a foot on

she saw these halls so many times she can pin point where every screw is- she's never been here, she can't understand these giant beings, they are too complex for her animal brain. that specific rhythm of beeps and pumps and water rushing through metal veins has haunted- comforted- her in many of her dreams. the Tinkerer makes it to the chamber almost like on an auto-pilot

when she enters the chamber, the slugcat finds itself disappointed, scared, confused- this isn't what this place is supposed to look like (but how does she know what it is supposed to look like-?), this isn't how she left it (this is the first time she stands here, what are these thoughts). it's supposed to be brighter. warmer. why is the puppet's plating and skin damaged by time, where is it its vibrancy, why are its eyes so tired? there are panels missing from the walls ("it's got to be the results of that Fever i once made a proj- i can fix thi-! what?"), glowing artificial bronze robins fly about or sleeping on his shoulders, tiny Rot cysts pulsate from the cracks in the umbilical arm. where has the firebird in that halo gone off to?

Euros greets her joyfully ("oh what are you trying to play at, you goof. i've known you for so long, i can tell when something's wrong. what's hurting? why are you tired? i'll get you back into shape, doncha worry love.")

"Ah, you made it! Welcome to my chamber, adroit little thing."

"Please. Your journey was a long one. I hold no doubt a very dangerous one, too. I won't march you into the job immediately. Rest up."

Tinkerer thinks he's strange. but her legs are indeed hurting, the bag strapped to her is heavy. she curls up in the corner of the room and tries to get some shut eye. she almost falls asleep when Euros starts mumbling under his breath, shooting nervous glances towards the birds. five fingered hands tremble so badly the joints rattle like a child's toy. he's scary, when his shoulders hunch up like that and those tired eyes turn frantic. but it hurts so much to see him like that for some reason, more so than it is scary. so against the better judgement of a survivor, she softly coos at him

the puppet's head snaps to her, gaze cold. the mumbles increase in volume, allowing her to understand

"...I'll tell you what. I have another mission for you, little messenger. But it has to stay a secret between the two of us. Nobody would approve, especially not the one you belong to now."

something whispers that the puppet closing in is supposed to be a comfort. the larger part of the Tinkerer instead finds itself wishing to run away

"Are you aware of the Memory Crypts that lie beneath all of us City Bearers?"

cautious nod, back pressed against the wall

"Good."

[divorcingjimmatthews]

Do think you can make more fanfics of Kenny and or jade your like the only person who actually writes for characters in the show (from) and I feel like they just need so much more love 💕🥲 I literally love your account and all the theories 

dhsjdhshd thank you so much for sending this ask !! they DO need so much more love both in-universe and out... specially kenny rn. jade is somehow kind of making friends... we can be proud of him. kind of <3 im so glad you like my account i'm always so worried about spamming but my heart is so full rn 🥺💝

i'm definitely gonna be writing more for them! i have an embarrassing amount of drafts i should probably polish up a bit and post. here's some headcanons in the meantime

kenny and jade: where they take you on a date 🥂🎆

jade

out of fromville

he looves to flaunt his wealth and is a child at heart so on your first dates he'd probably take you to places that are both expensive and fun like a hot air balloon ride or a premium pass visit to a theme park, bonus points if there's tech toys involved like those star wars spaceship simulator VR pods, or idk, racecars

also!!! escape rooms

sometimes tobey tags along because the stuff is fun and you just have to deal with that. he does make sure leave you some alone time though

on your 4th or 5th date you ask him if you can just hang out at home and he looks heartbroken like you don't like our dates?? jade i'm just exhausted

he kind of has a difficult time accepting that you like him enough to want to just spend the day with him, but he's pretty touched when it sinks in that you do

you order some food, curl up on the couch and binge some tv show or movie series that either of you likes, it could be some old favourite or something that's been sitting on your to-watch list for a while. i just know that jade is a jurassic park kind of guy and no one can change my mind

all the time he's just thinking how nice and natural it all feels and how easily he could get used to having you around more often <3

in the town

he would talk a lot about where he wants to take you when you get out, but if confronted with the thought of going on a date while in there, he'd be like—what the hell do you mean, there's nothing to do in here

you tease him a little bit like come on, where's that imagination you keep talking about? be creative. you'll come up with something for sure

now it's a challenge. and he tries. he really tries. but nothing feels impressive or datey enough, considering where he'd like to take you if he could

you ask him to see the notebook he's been writing (and sketching) the ideas on and you can't help but laugh. jade, literally a picnic would've been just fine

but you make sure to show him how touched you are that he was putting so much effort into trying to make something really special for you. he gets lots of love and many hugs and kisses as a reward <3

kenny

out of fromville

kenny loves café and museum dates, though he'd be a bit worried that he's not smart enough to impress you if you go to a museum. he just really likes going because all the stuff is cool, but he's not one of those guys that can tell you more than the guide on any given tour. he might try to prepare and do a bit of research beforehand to try to show off though :)

it's very easy to tell that he didn't just happen to know all that stuff, but nonetheless it's incredibly cute

bonus points if you are the kind of person that can tell you more than the guide on any given tour. you'd have to correct him on some stuff. he'd be a bit embarrassed but his crush on you would only get bigger and bigger with that

if he wants to go for something a bit bigger or special he might ask if you want to book one of those weekends that you can spend at an apple orchard or a pumkin farm in the fall, it would be really sweet and he'd take the cutest pics of you <3

in town

his go-to would be a picnic in the nicest patch of woods that he can find. it's an easy choice because he's big on picnics in general, no matter where you are

he would pick some flowers for you and do his best to help you feel at ease. if you're new, you may be a bit worried about straying from the town even just a little bit, but he knows the place really well and he'd reassure you that the woods are safe as long as the sun is out

it'd be worth it when the knowledge of where you are begins to fade away. once you can no longer see colony house or the town, you start feeling like you could be on a normal hike, and that feels really nice

kenny would have changed out of his deputy uniform and into his nicest clothes for this and your heart would have nearly jumped out of your chest when you saw him looking like that for the first time <3<3

[lovinglin]

Sorry I'm going thru it rn so MORE Diona Adopted Daughter agenda ft. Lynn's husband too this time 🫶

Dialogue color code: Teppei | Lynn | Diona

After some thinking, the time Diona is adopted definitely takes place after Lynn is married. She was taking a week off to visit her homeland + visit some friends and family (even if they weren't related). During that time period, that's when she adopts Diona and brings her along her travels while she was vacationing.

Once that one week was over, she travels back to Inazuma with her newly adopted daughter alongside her. Once they were in Watatsumi Island though... that's when a certain husband is greeted with a very unexpected surprise.

Teppei happily greets and welcomes Lynn back! He definitely missed her (a lot) (so very much) (he was probably complaining abt it sometimes to his troops even but that's beside the point).

When he catches sight of the... kid(?) that was clinging alongside his wife, that's when he gets really confused yet curious. (Or was she a kid? He wasn't sure, she had cat ears and a tail. She could've been a yokai of sorts, or something like General Gorou).

Diona is slightly hiding behind Lynn, feeling a little uncomfortable at the moment. Although she saw Lynn hug and greet him happily, she still kept her caution up.

When Teppei asks about her to Lynn, that's when Lynn gets... a little flustered but tries her best to explain the situation still.

"I know this is really short notice- I was planning on writing you a letter even about it, but it... completely slipped my mind. But uhm... Teppei, love, meet our daughter, Diona. Diona, this is Teppei- he's my husband, the one I've told you about."

Teppei is... stunned to say the least. He hears the word daughter and suddenly his mind goes blank yet is racing with so many questions all at the same time. Daughter? Daughter? How? When- why? How did-

Meanwhile, Diona is still quiet, seemingly glaring at Teppei as well. She was observing his reaction, his expressions, and she feels a lot more tense when she sees him get confused and shocked at the news. Teppei takes notice of this, and tries to calm down and compose himself to properly introduce himself to his new daughter... considering she was already here.

"Hello, uhm... I'm Teppei, though- you already know that since Lynn said so. It's still nice to meet you, Diona." He wasn't really sure what to say. He felt a bit awkward. What do you even say to kids? Let alone one that was supposed to be your daughter now?

Diona stays quiet and still looks a bit tense, keeping herself close to Lynn (who lets her do so, just to give her some comfort). Teppei is now internally panicking because oh god, oh fuck, he does not want to upset this kid considering he can tell she means a lot to Lynn and vice versa.

"I know this is a bit new, but... I promise that I'll try my best to take care of you the same way Lynn does-"

"Do you drink?"

"And- ...what?"

"I said do you drink? Like alcohol?"

There's a sharpness in her words that Teppei gets taken aback by. It was so sudden yet she seemed really serious about asking it. He decides not to question it and just answer.

"Well, there's sake here in Inazuma that contains alcohol. But I- I don't drink it often."

That seems to make her frown a bit, which gets Teppei a lot more concerned and worried. Did he answer wrong? Was he just supposed to say no? He was sweating at this point and felt just as tense that he glances over to Lynn to maybe get some help.

Lynn realizes right away and nudges Diona to look at her as she speaks.

"Diona, dear, he rarely drinks alcohol since he has an important job to do. I can assure you that it's different this time around."

"Da- he also had an important job to do but he always got drunk." She reasons, which makes Lynn frown as she feels her stomach twist hearing such a memory from her daughter.

"Right... I'm sorry. But I promise you that I'll make sure things will be different from before, okay? And I'm sure Teppei here can promise that too."

"Oh- I... yeah. Yeah, things will be different here. I promise I'll be a good... father to you, if that's what you need." He's not used to referring to himself as such, but if that's what he needs to be now, then he'll try to make sure he accomplishes such a role.

Diona still looks tense as she looks back at Teppei hesitantly. She couldn't really smell any alcohol on him, moreso saltwater than anything. But she still can't shake the feeling of fear and frustration inside her.

Teppei... he was trying really hard to reassure her, to earn her trust little by little. He won't force her, but he wants them both to get along still at some point. He doesn't want her to feel scared around him, even if he doesn't know the full picture yet on her life from before.

"When... when do you usually drink?"

"Only on special occasions, which is very few and rare. But even then I... usually don't get myself drunk. Especially nowadays, since Lynn is here." He laughs nervously, trying to ease the tension.

Diona seems to loosen up a bit, but she's still clinging onto Lynn. "You smell like saltwater. Do you spend a lot of time in the sea?"

"Yes. Me and my troops usually train near the ocean since Watatsumi Island is surrounded by it. It's also because we sometimes patrol the borders to make sure there's no unwarranted visitors."

"Do you ever go fishing?"

"Fishing? Uh... sometimes? Only when I really need or feel like it. There was one time me and some other soldiers during a war had to catch fish by ourselves since we were running low on rations."

"Like... with your bare hands?"

"Yeah, but only because we got a little desperate when no fish was grabbing onto our bait."

"Pfft-" She laughs, and it makes Teppei smile. "That's so dumb."

"Maybe it was." He chuckles. "But it worked still in the end, so it wasn't a complete loss."

Diona lets go of Lynn now, seemingly getting a little more comfortable. "What kind of fish are you able to catch?"

"Usually the common ones. Anything out of that range is usually in deeper waters. Do you... wanna go fishing with me some time to see?"

"I don't like getting wet."

"Fishing usually comes with the risk of getting wet, dear. But it's a small sacrifice to be able to see different types of fish, don't you think?"

"Mmm... I guess."

"She doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to, love-"

"No no, I want to go. I'll go with you. It's just a bit of water. I'm not scared."

"Oh! Well that's good! Do you uh... wanna go now?"

"Don't you have training to do, Captain?"

"Oh- Lynn-" ////

"It's okay, besides..." She looks over to Diona before speaking again. "We need to get ourselves changed first. We've been traveling for a while now, so some fresh clothes are a must right now. I'll take it as a chance to show her around the house too."

"Let me come with you two."

"No, it's fine-"

"I insist-"

"Go excuse yourself first to your troops. We'll still be at the house no matter when you come back, so don't fuss about it too much, okay?"

He sighs. "Fine. Alright. I'll see you two in a bit then."

Once that's done and over, they both bid themselves goodbye once again as Lynn and Diona heads over to where their home is located.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hm? I'm okay. This place is really pretty."

"That's good. Uhm... so, what do you think about him?"

"Huh? You mean Teppei?"

"Yeah!"

"Well my first thoughts were 'that's seriously your husband?'"

"Hey-"

"But... he's okay. I guess a little better than... dad."

"Draff... you don't need to refer to him as your dad if you don't want to. But I'm not gonna force you to call Teppei your new dad either. You can call him whatever you feel most comfortable with, but I can assure you that Teppei will better fill in the role as a father for you as well."

"...I know. Thank you, mom."

[bonesandthebees]

Bee bee bee bee :D a little Icy update for you... I'm going to NYC in a few weeks to meetup with some online friends!!! It feels like ages since I sent that ask-- Oh wait . That was on anon SCREAMING aha anyways . I was that really anxious anon asking about advice for meeting up with online friends lmao 😭😭😭 back then the plan was very different and for a small town and possibly Staying with them and the whole plan was just... not as safe of an idea as it is now so I was really anxious at the time BUT I found out that NYC is actually not?? That expensive to go to during the offseason?? And it's close to where my dad lives so I can go visit him after so it works out perfectly:D

But yeah, I do still really appreciate you replying all those months ago<3 really helped me out in the moment eueueeu

ANYWAYS . YASS Its really funny bc?? Another one of my online friends (one who I've known for Five Years now holyshit) is randomly?? Going to be there??? At the same time?? So I'm in total gonna meetup w 3 ppl, one who's my partner and I'm just AAAA I'm so excited. I'm also very nervous bc it's my first time traveling alone but i think it will be very very fun:D

We're gonna go see Hadestown on broadway I'm HYPED also getting matching tatts w my partner<3 I've never gotten a tattoo before but I've been wanting to for ages and I finally got the courage to suggest the tattoos during the trip (which we have been wanting to do for years). I've like grilled every single one of my coworkers and friends who have tattoos about the process lmao and I'm finally. Finally feeling more excited about it than nervous lmao

BUT YESSS :D just wanted to update u bc idk I did really appreciate the advice u gave all those months back<3 also wow I feel like I haven't properly sent a message here in ages... I've been so busy lately plus I randomly got super anxious about being annoying so I gave some space for a bit 😭 bUT IM BACK >:D you'll never get rid of me hehehe

Anywyas. Wowie. That got long lmao pulling a snowflake SENDING HUGS AND COOKIES AND (icy addition) TEA!! I love tea sm... I'm gonna make some rn

oh that was YOU??? I remember that ask! I'm so glad you were able to plan things out better to make yourself feel safer. and yeah NYC definitely isn't as expensive as people think it is if it's the offseason, especially bc I feel like the expected 'image' of new york as this sparkling glittering city has kind of chilled out over the years (probably because thanks to the wonders of social media we can all witness the natural wonders of new york—the rats)

that sounds so awesome though!! such a wild coincidence that you're gonna get to meet up with your other friend just by chance. and I'm so happy you're getting to hang out with your partner as well!! you're gonna have such a great time. and traveling alone is very fun in my opinion so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I actually way prefer traveling alone, it's so nice to just be able to chill out in airports by myself so I think you'll have a good time :)

and tattoos that's so cool!! I'm glad you've asked around about them, and if you have any other qs about the tattoo process feel free to hmu I have 5 of them. also I'm sure you've heard this already so I won't say much, but if you're getting a matching tattoo with your partner make sure it's of something that you'd want as a tattoo if it was just on you and not matching with someone else. just make sure it's something you want for the tattoo itself not just the match factor

I'm glad my advice helped <33 I hope you have an amazing time!! NYC is such a fun city, it's one of my favorite places in the US outside of California

[stoneheart-paramour]

last night while looking at aventurine's character model in game together, a buddy of mine said something to the effect of "i want to punch him", and like, fair enough - the smug factor on that dude is at an 11. but that immediately got me thinking... shit i kinda want him to get punched... (in the fic)

so now i've been sitting on this thought tryna work out where something like that would make sense to happen. and who's doing the punching. what's the context. uhhh spoilers i guess?

I WENT ON A RAMBLING TANGENT LMAO

dude absolutely needs a punch to the face in the latter half of the story lol... but again, who's doing the punching and what's the precise reason?? idkkk

possibly dan heng but at the same time he's not really the type probably?? like one of his lines is straight up, "i have no interest in conflict", so he's a man who likely prefers to leave physical violence to a last resort. and when i say i want someone to punch aventurine in the face (did i specify the face yet?) i don't mean in a brawl, i mean like... deck that guy outta nowhere. bitch ain't see it coming.

dan heng's character arc is one i've actually thought a fair bit about, though. i don't want the support characters getting sidelined just bc they're not the POV. he's got complicated feelings about trust, giving someone the benefit of the doubt and/or a second chance, etc etc. when aventurine's first brought on, he's the most reticent to actually trust the guy. he's even less forgiving of/open to accepting the stellaron hunters bc their track records are not only worse than the stonehearts' reputation, but they also have a confirmed body count and are responsible for very direct harm.

ok i'm going off track here but it's my blog and my log, i will do as i wish

i've also gone back and forth on whether or not i want blade and dan heng to have a connection, as they do in canon, because i'm not sure if it would be distracting to the primary plot. on the other hand, it could give him a much more personal reason to dislike/distrust the stellaron hunters, if one among them is a person he knows from his past. however, currently dan heng's backstory has him growing up in eleutheria, as his heritage is mixed telestratan (specifically, lower strata/xian civ) and empyrean. so... for him to have a connection with blade, i'd have to do more tinkering around

and there is space in the timeline for that! so... putting my lil thinky cap on... blade IS among the older characters in the story already, so, it's possible dan heng could have known him at an earlier point, b4 blade joined the hunters and dan heng became a trailblazer.

dan heng was primarily raised in eleutheria, but he sometimes visited telestrata, perhaps to see extended family living there. blade's early life isn't something i've established, but i do know that b4 he became a hunter, he was a monk serving a temple dedicated to verdigris, which is how/why he became a master of the whimsical wind (it also leads him to meeting kafka later but that's not important rn).

hmmm... might draft some friends for brainstorming help on this one lol. i'm so far off topic (punching aventurine) and no closer to figuring out my original conundrum whoops

SO UH BACK TO THAT TOPIC

the reason dan heng was the first character to come to mind is bc he was the most suspicious of aventurine from the beginning, yet ultimately came to respect, care about, and trust aventurine across the course of their journey. so, having that trust broken might weight more heavily on him for that reason. they had a bond, man...

still not sure it's enough to have him break character like that, though. might be something he wishes he could do, but would refrain from anyway. honestly, thinking about it more, that actually tracks best with my other plans; dan heng and march are gonna receive elemental boons themselves, with incandescent ice going to the former and whimsical wind going to the later (the irony of this being a flip of their canon typing is not lost on me but it makes the most sense!). ah damn, it shall not be our fave spear boi doing the clocking

i'll have to make a list of "characters i think would be the most cathartic/funniest punchers" and then interrogate each one in turn for their validity in that role, lol. for SURE it won't be caelus, not only does that not track with HIS character arc or the narrative's theme/message, but i also just don't want them doing violence to each other like that. if they're out there making each other bleed, it's consensual lol

[weirfq1]

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🪢❤️‍🔥😬

Francesca and Yam

(yes I'm very predictable always picking my two fave characters)

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

This is a pretty popular headcanon but they're both bisexuals in my eyes

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

Cis Francesca while i feel like Yam is the equivalent of that tweet that is like "i'm probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn" (same) as in she doesn't really think about her own gender like that (because gender and pronouns really aren't a big deal for her and she's alright with anything but also because with everything going on in her life right now this would just make her question herself even more and put her into a crisis) but she would probably fall under the non-binary umbrella (even if she doesn't use any kind of etiquette)

🪢 A headcanon about their family

Francesca has a big family and goes back to Italy so often because she knows that if she doesn't go visit her family members even at least once every few months/years (if possible), they might impulsively decide to come to Buenos Aires and spend a month or so at her family house, and even though she loves them to death, it would be such a mess.

Yam's family consists of her single mother, the son of one of her mother's high school girl friends (that grew up around them and took the habit of referring to her mother as his own mother/second mother and treating yam as a fraternal figure [thing that she won't ever admit enjoying so much]) + Ramiro and Jim <3

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

Before dating someone, Francesca has always made fun of the couples that matched clothes because she thought it was embarassing and a bit too much… Not even one full week after starting to date somebody she already bought her partner a matching jacket (nothing too crazy, just the same model of jacket in two different colors), and that is only the start...

Yam isn't really into physical touch unless she really knows and trusts someone but she's a good listener and if she wants to show you that she cares, she just brings stuff. You will never have to worry about bags, backpacks, books or similar things because there wouldn't be a single second of the day in which she'll let your arms be full. She also knows by heart your orders and will not only predict them but also anticipate your own needs before you even know it.

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

Francesca probably broke something that had a big sentimental value for her grandma but put the blame on her uncle (from her mother side) hoping that it would've never come out. After she came back to Rome, during a big family reunion, at one point her uncle calls her to the side because he has something to ask her and she doesn't think anything of it (from her point of view it's been ages since that happened). He brings up the whole thing, asking her if she knows why his mother accused him and was so sure that Francesca personally saw him doing that and she thinks of lying... of maybe saying that she's old and confused and doesn't know what she's talking about; but then she looks at her grandma's face and back to his uncle and just admits fucking up. He already knew that she was the one who did that but still covered her back and took the scolding at that time. Now that she isn't scared anymore, she wants to take full responsibility and maybe ever try to repay both of them for her actions and the hurt it caused, but her uncle puts his hand on her shoulder and tells her that it's okay and it's now passed... to just keep doing what she's doing without lying. (If you ask Francesca she would probably say that there are a lot of worst things she had done ���objectively speaking— but this is the thing that made her feel the worst and that stuck with her.)

For Yam i'm not sure but she gets super paranoid and stressed out about any little thing, especially when she has to lie or hide something so whatever she did wasn't actually that bad, she just gets into her own head a lot lol

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary323

8/7-8/24

wednesday - thursday

normal day inside.

i started the day with an abstract nightmare with eminem in it... and then there was this other dream about raising worms, and my aunt hating them. i can't really even begin to describe either, the eminem one especially, it repeated one time after, that dream included me writing what eminem had rapped, and then it ended the same, with like, this screamer of a demonic eminem appearing, but it was like actually scary, somehow, at least to my body, it shocked me awake. i really cannot express what these dreams felt like, what they looked like, they were like, paper mache or early flash, some point between those, just of totally flimsy, unconvincing material, and still i believed, because the threat seemed real.

the other dream is much harder to describe, it involved going to the movies, the movie being like a game i was playing... and these worms, the kind who shoot their insides out all over what they're trying to eat, and then sort of digesting it like that, those sorts, i was raising them, my aunt hated them, we were in a place...it was somewhere like egypt, and it was somewhere like the poorly lit room in my stepdad's house with green carpet.

other news, my gf and her mom went to pick up my package... i didn't realize until the other day it was in retention and i realized that this meant more than like... waiting to ship from one spot to the next. and then i put the tracking info into usps today... and they already claimed it. that was so crazy... maybe i am just dumb but yeah... the new clothes are here. i am sure i will post myself in these pieces soon but i'm really happy with the order, a couple shirts, a tulle bolero thingy, a slip dress, a corset belt, 2 necklaces, and a heart bag from milk, and this cardigan type deal, it goes over stuff, it looks like fruit netting, it's super pretty and it'll look good over sleeveless things, it's gonna be so perfect with a lot of shirts where i want an extra crazy layer.

i wanted to work on music today but i did not... i didn't do much productive today, and no one came over, our friends had another emergency, things are not going well for them,.. very unfun for them and i feel bad, obviously i don't mind or anything, it's just sad that their lives are a bit rough rn. even if it's just like, a vet visit, that can be all kinds of unpleasant, on the spectrum of waste of money to oh no my beloved animal will die soon. hopefully i guess it's just not too bad a waste of money.

i did cook today, i'm happy with how the food came out, i need to set the chicken aside and then put it back in the stir fry from now on, i guess i just avoid that out of laze... no more... it's not like it even tasted bad before it was just a bit less flavorful... now it goes crazy... yay i suppose. i also need to call my mom soon, i'll ask about that tomorrow probably.

i keep listening to swan lake / death disco. maybe i need to just work out some stuff on the bass soon. just go crazy, write riffs for bass, get in on some locked grooves. that would be fun.

i still hafta work out, guh, i'll do it now...

i did it , and i got distracted by rfactor2 racing videos and music by a guy i've liked since hs, but no one knows him cuz he's like, just a guy who does stuff, kind of how i do things.

i knew him as bettenhaus rhyne in hs, years ago i went looking for that record to hear it again, that he did, and then i found him as terre noire, and then upon rediscovering him and loving the newer stuff, i posted some in a server i was in, and it turns out one of my friends is friends with him, crazy coincidence, small world and all that. i think his music is really special though, it's some of the only post punk stuff made recently that really does keep at the avant garde goals some bands in the original scene had, kinda brings lemon kittens to mind, or at least how i felt when i heard lemon kittens for the first time. a lot of the song structure weirdness, it's all very intentional and alien, he's a great songwriter when it comes to dislocating things, kind of makes songs that ache and creak in their slithering/unfurling.

interesting, there's a music vid for one of his songs, the song's like 7 years old, at least, but the vid's 2 months old:

this video gets at one of the cooler things about his visual aesthetic, which is all the worlds.com early freaky 3d type stuff he's into, the video was made by other guys but it's in keeping w/ what he likes, he's always been big on that, i remember.

whoever did the animation for that vid is in this band:

this song's pretty good, some of the other stuff... not so much, but this is really bizarre. the vocals, the banjo, it shouldn't work, but it does... really really weird. rocks though. it's like a poppier version of mamaleek or something.

the song right after that one is like. really awful rap rock. that's crazy. i guess i respect how much this band throws at the wall. they're in a really cursed zone, nearly too indieshit too handle, doing some really interesting stuff... so odd how bands like this appear. guys who know all that weird noise stuff but still really like... i dunno... i can't gather what's going on here. i do think i wasn't there is gonna stick with me though, since it is a confluence of that weird zone of like, local band that's just doing wayyyy too much, and then that turning out a good song somehow. fucked up.

need to sleep, now, too late / too early but not even early it's almost gonna be almost noon almost almost noon. 9:30 feels so close... how odd.

listened to this alex g song and now i must sleep:

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!