#i'm usually kind of ambivalent

[akiacia]

silly next gen thoughts 👶 (inspired by a comment! no one asked for a whole post, but i took the excuse to brainworm 🤣)

[brittlebutch]

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

[journey-to-the-attic]

rating all of the om songs (so far) to pass time on the train LET'S GO

i was going to split these into separate posts but Ah who CARES they're all here now. for the intents and purposes of this post i am leaning more positive to the romance aspects (usually i'm more ambivalent). looong post ahead!

(i'm considering the lyrics based on the direct unofficial translations credited to Maon_ObeyMe on twitter, rather than the official english versions)

CHARACTER SONGS

Arcadia (Lucifer) -> Sonically: 7/10 I'm oddly into that one synth that comes in after the chorus. The violin stings are cool. Fun to vibe to! Points knocked off because he kind of doesn't sound like Lucifer, though. -> Lyrically: 5/10 Points removed (derogatory) for "lady", other points removed (affectionate) for the hilarity of "I'm fall in love u baby". You can tell it was written when they were still clinging somewhat to the dominant diet Christian Grey thing, but a lot of the lines are still genuinely romantic (while also being very Lucifer.) -> Overall: 7/10 I scrunch my face when I get to That One Line but otherwise I do pick this to listen to semi-regularly.

Are You Ready? (Mammon) -> Sonically: 6/10 Banger, but repetitive. Good rhythm to walk to. Hirotaka Kobayashi's delivery makes it. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Points docked for repetitiveness, but it's cute to see this side of him verbalised. Gender neutral high heels are a serve. -> Overall: 6/10 I don't relisten to this one quite as much as Arcadia, but I think that's just a genre preference.

My Chance! (Levi) -> Sonically: 8/10 The mixing on his voice is a bit weird, but it fits in with the chiptune sound, which I adore. Really catchy chorus. I also really like that soft bell insturment that's playing along with the main melody. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Really cute! Levi's characterised really well here. I love his little spoken interjections - Satoshi Kada is one of my favourite VAs in terms of delivery. (Levi's lines are some of the best in either of the voiced pop quizzes.) -> Overall: 8/10 Cute and fun to listen to. It's really easy to imagine a music video for this one.

Read My Heart (Satan) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really pretty piano instrumental, but I feel like there could've been a bit of variation. On the one hand, layering in some strings could've sounded really nice, but on the other, it does feel more personal as a solo piano ballad. Shinya Sumi has a really nice voice. -> Lyrically: 9/10 Very sweet, almost poetic, very Satan. The reference to cats doesn't feel heavy-handed. It feels like he wrote it. -> Overall: 9/10 I really like the bridge. It has a sort of lullaby quality as well, so it's nice to fall asleep to, or listen to when you need to calm down.

Pomade (Asmo) -> Sonically: 7/10 It's better-produced than some of the songs I've given a higher sonic rating, but this is more a matter of preference - this song isn't super my style. -> Lyrically: 10/10 EXCELLENT. The journey Asmo goes on? Starting out singing about himself and tempting you, then shifting to singing about you (You are my captive -> I am your captive) - the way it basically reflects his arc in OM S1? Chef's kiss. Beautiful. -> Overall: 7/10 I don't listen to it that often but I do think about those lyrics. They're so good. This is how you write a character song.

Hungry Six-Pack (Beel) Sonically: 8/10 I'm a sucker for that 'wah' effect on the guitar. I really like the rock sound, but I think it was done better in Barbatos's song. (Sorry, Beel.) Kyohei Yaguchi also does a really good job on the performance - you really get the feeling that this is how Beel himself would perform in a band. The interval in "darou" in the chorus is to die for, as is the "forever, forever-ah-ah-ah" in the last chorus. Lyrically: 6/10 Even in songs Beel cannot escape the "they only know how to write him with one character trait" allegations (/hj). To be fair, it'd be hard to get into his deeper character without dipping into lyrics about survivor's guilt, which I feel wasn't what they were going for. Overall: 7/10 I like to imagine him performing this at a bar. Also, total aside, but I really don't like that title.

Dreamscape (Belphie) -> Sonically: 9/10 I'm not usually a lo-fi person, but the vibes are perfect for Belphie and I really like this composition. -> Lyrically: 7/10 Really cute, but pretty basic - then again any of the songs' lyrics seem so when you compare them to the Queen Pomade. I do like how much Belphie's needy little-brother nature comes through here. "Hey, come see me, please?" Makes me want to pinch his cheek. -> Overall: 9/10 The sound alone carries it. I listen to it pretty regularly.

No.1 (Diavolo) -> Sonically: 9/10 Takuhei Yamamoto is giving it so much oomph and it's fantastic and also very in-character for Diavolo himself. He would be that enthusiastic. He would throw his head back and belt like that mic was made for him. (I find the "Sā, hora!" before the chorus really cute.) -> Lyrically: 6/10 It feels a little weird that he's doing the dominant thing in the lyrics here, but his sin attribute is apparently pride, and it's interesting that they chose this characterisation for him given he's usually so affable. (It's not like it came out of nowhere, to be fair - Diavolo basically admits to it on occasion, he seems to just hold it back, usually.) -> Overall: 7/10 Solid song that I don't listen to all that often for some reason.

Crazy About You (Barbatos) -> Sonically: 10/10 Absolute banger. The guitar solo makes me want to run through walls. Masayuki Harada's performance as Barbatos is also both spot-on and pitch perfect. That "Ahh-" leading into the chorus is gorgeous. I'm not the biggest fan of the spoken lines, but I appreciate that they're there for those truly starved stans who don't get nearly enough of him in the main story. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Perhaps oddly I really like his mix of servitude and sternness here. Feels playful in a way that I think really works for his dynamic with MC. (If only they'd utilise it in the game.) -> Overall: 10/10 It's just that much of a banger. Barbatos I'm so sorry for what the NB remix did to you. You were too powerful.

My Wish (Luke) -> Sonically: 6/10 Gonna be honest I completely forgot how this song sounded after I finished listening to it for the first time. I'm not the biggest fan of Luke's voice direction and there are parts in this where I just fully see a full grown man doing the voice. I do really like the chorus (the part that mentions sweets and cream) though. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Just very cute. Pretty much exactly what you'd expect from Luke - another one of those where you can easily imagine that the character wrote it themselves. -> Overall: 6/10 I don't think I've listened to it more than five times, to be honest. I actually quite like the NB remix for this one.

Question Love (Simeon) -> Sonically: 4/10 Simeon what the hell did they do to you. The production is fine, it's just... the autotune? It isn't like Yu Hirata can't sing. Why did they do that? Presumably it's a stylistic thing, which I'm not against, it's just not executed well. (Though it's cute to imagine Simeon himself being responsible, as tech-illiterate as he is.) It's a weird genre for a character like him, too. I was expecting another ballad, maybe with a harp... -> Lyrically: 6/10 Feels quite generic - I feel like Simeon of all characters would have had a more poetically written song, and his relationship with MC could have been particularly interesting to write about. (Though I'm not sure how long ago this was released.) -> Overall: 5/10 He deserved better. I do like the instrumental on his NB remix, though. That deep bass synth in the back is great

Our Destiny (Solomon) -> Sonically: 7/10 Really like those violins on the chorus. The blend of the strings with the more lo-fi adjacent sound is actually really fitting for a character like Solomon. Kazuki Kawata has this really nice smooth voice, and his ad-libbing at the end is pretty charming. The "hey!" on the chorus sometimes veers into youtube_kids_going_yay.mp3 territory for me, though. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I really like that he calls back to one of his in-game phone calls. It's kind of funny that he sounds so sure of himself when there's an almost insecure nature to his affections in NB especially. -> Overall: 7/10 All around good song. Another one who got done dirty by his remix.

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UNIT SONGS

Choose Me (Mammon, Levi, Asmo) -> Sonically: 6/10 I like the big brass sound, but... eh. Feels like something's missing. I like Hirotaka Kobayashi's delivery on Mammon's rap lines, but the chorus in particular feels kind of lacking. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I don't know what this 'love game' is but I don't think I want to participate. I also fully hear "gay" every single time. That aside, the verses are pretty good. -> Overall: 5/10 Not really for me, but I'll listen to it on shuffle sometimes. This one's remix was criminally bad.

Telepathy (Beel, Belphie) -> Sonically: 10/10 Such a pretty instrumental. Is that "ooooooo" in the background Belphie? It does sound like Satoshi Onishi's voice. The twins both sound perfectly in character and in sync with each other (though I would've liked for them to have a verse together.) Their spoken bridge is adorable. -> Lyrically: 7/10 It's hard to gauge the vibes from the lyrics. They're definitely singing to/about each other (they say so in the bridge), and that's clear in the chorus, but there are a few parts where it's like. Is that something you say to a brother?? Did a songwriter miss a memo? Also what does "your muscles are mood" mean. -> Overall: 9/10 It's such a comforting song to listen to. I just get a bit distracted by "your muscles are mood" every time. Belphie. What does that mean. Please

Passion (Lucifer, Satan) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really big fan of the piano. The breathing sounds caught me off-guard at first, but I know to expect them now. I really like both VA's performances. Lucifer sounds like Lucifer again! -> Lyrically: 7/10 I find Lucifer's line "I said that I’d listen with patience and silence, but you've got some nerve to actually continue" kind of out-of-place - it's more consistent with his characterisation in early NB than anywhere in OM when this was released, which is interesting - but the rest is pretty good. I really couldn't imagine singing this alongside your own sibling though. -> Overall: 8/10 I don't tend to choose this one a lot, but I don't skip it if it comes on in shuffle.

Take It Easy (Satan, Belphie) -> Sonically: 8/10 Really fun bouncy instrumental. I really like the rapport between these two here. (Would you say Belphie's in falsetto? Either way, I love how he and Satan take the higher and lower registers respectively.) -> Lyrically: 10/10 God I love these lyrics. They're so funny. The brief moment of sincerity before they go right back to singing about how much they love pranking Lucifer. "Makes me happy" makes me so happy. It's so sweet. These little rascals. These absolute rapscallions. -> Overall: 9/10 I like the sound of Rock On better, but the LYRICS. They're so great.

Rock On!! (Lucifer, Mammon) -> Sonically: 9/10 This one's another banger. The VAs do a great job with the back-and-forth delivery in the spoken bridge (I especially love how Lucifer and Mammon both sound like they're pretending really hard that they don't give a shit on "Yoroshiku douzo negawakuba" together". Lucifer also sounds like he ran out of air on "...omae wa" a little earlier. Lol -> Lyrically: 8/10 It's really funny to listen to them both strut their stuff singing about themselves in the verses and then suddenly get sincere to each other on the bridge. Though I think this song could've really benefited from the "feels like it was written by the characters" approach. -> Overall: 9/10 I just really like it!

Trigger (Levi, Asmo, Beel) -> Sonically: 8/10 This used to be my favourite of these three unit songs sonically, but solely the delivery of "Trigger!" bothers me a little bit. It could use more force, is all. That aside, everyone did a fantastic job and Satoshi Kada in particular served on Levi's verse. -> Lyrically: 7/10 I'm not even entirely sure what's going on in this song, but I like it. I didn't like Asmo addressing you as "kitten", but I did really like Miura Ayme adding a sort of cutesy whining tone to "I'm the cutest demon in the world, right?" - Ayme in general does a great job with Asmo's character in songs. -> Overall: 8/10 Still good! I think my tastes have just shifted since I first listened to it.

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OPENING SONGS

Sinful Indulgence (OM!:SWD) -> Sonically: 9/10 It really is a bop. Miura Ayme's performance is great. -> Lyrically: 8/10 Pretty strong! "Oh baby, obey me!" is clever and very catchy. I only ever use the word sexy as a joke so it catches me off guard when Asmo says it, but that's not really a complaint. The dark-and-sinful nature of the lyrics is really funny when you compare it to the stuff these guys actually get up to in-story. -> Overall: 8/10 It's a good listen and a good opening to the game, even if the lyrics don't really reflect the content all that well.

Devil's Way (OM!:NB) -> Sonically: 9/10 Ohhh whatever that metallic bell sound in the intro+outro instrumental is, it is a tasty sound. Shinya Sumi is performing his heart out and he's doing fantastic. I still can't fully tell if that's Belphie or Levi on the start of the second verse, but whoever it is did a really good job of making it sound subtly unsettling. The bridge starts shifting into edgy territory, but the whole song is teetering, to be honest. Also, I've mentioned this before, but the "sekai de-eeee" just before the bridge is still so good. -> Lyrically: 8/10 I adore the use of "sweetiepie" in the chorus but it does detract a little from the dark vibe they've got going on. Lucifer using 'boku' in this song of all places is bewildering and hilarious. The darker tone definitely fits in with S1 and S2. -> Overall: 8/10 Something about that bridge bothers me. Other than that, banger.

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BROTHER ENSEMBLE SONGS

It's My Party -> Sonically: 9/10 It's a bop. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Relatively basic. From a cynical perspective, the brothers basically each tell you their One Assigned Trait that the writers fall back on when they can't be bothered to do deep characterisation, but that's not the fault of the songwriter. I take psychic damage every time I hear "haters gonna hate." -> Overall: 9/10 I've listened to this quite regularly since I had my friend edit me the version with "haters gonna hate" cut out. (It's a 7/10 with the hater line left in.)

Eternal -> Sonically: 9/10 So nice. I can't unhear the first few notes as See You Again, but the rest of the track is definitely a credit to itself. I feel like there could've been more orchestral build-up, but that might also make it feel too dramatic... as is, it feels more candid and personal. Like you could imagine this being performed to you in a small local theater. -> Lyrically: 10/10 There is definitely bias at play, but hearing this as OM's first sincere ensemble love song made a pretty big impression. The lyrics are so sweet. "My love" is one of those terms of affection that I love so much I don't even mind when it's used on me. -> Overall: 10/10 Again, biased, but this song just has a special place in my heart.

On Your Way -> Sonically: 6/10 It's.... fine? I like the instrumental, but the chorus feels a little empty. Shinya Sumi hitting that high note on "Let's get you on your way" each time is kind of inspiring, though. Belt it, girl! -> Lyrically: 7/10 The "eeny-meeny-miny-mo" is so silly but I love it. -> Overall: 6/10 Pretty standard stuff.

With You -> Sonically: 9/10 Gosh, another really pretty instrumental! I think the seven VAs are definitely more comfortable singing as an ensemble here, though it would've been nice to get some more harmonies... -> Lyrically: 10/10 They're so sappy but that's what makes it work, especially delivered in all sincerity like this. Something about that last line (and its delivery) feels so earnest. -> Overall: 9/10 I'm just a sucker for whatever genre you call this and Eternal. Also, I really like title callback to S2's play (I don't think it was necessarily intentional, but still).

Spooky Night Parade -> Sonically: 7/10 It's a really fun instrumental. I love the little "hehehee....... trick or treat?" in between choruses and verses. They're just little guys. -> Lyrically: 6/10 Just sort of standard Halloween-y lyrics that don't mean too much. -> Overall: 7/10 it feels more like a novelty song than something I'd listen to regularly.

Magic Moment -> Sonically: 9/10 Oooooh that's a nice instrumental. The swelling dynamics are so satisfying, the vocal performances are all lovely. I love that glockenspiel in the back. (At least I think that's what it is.) (I've imagined IK playing it while the brothers perform this before.) -> Lyrically: 9/10 Another "it's so sappy I love it" moment. "I'm so happy I could cry" Like GUYS!! Aw man I love you. They drop three I love yous and they're all great. -> Overall: 10/10 I know the maths doesn't add up but I just really like this song.

Anniversary -> Sonically: 8/10 Strong instrumental, but I feel like the delivery on the raps in the first verse are a little lacking? Asmo and Belphie's verses feel incredibly satisfying for whatever reason. Though Belphie(?)'s little "come on baby" at the end just makes me laugh. I feel like the chorus could've benefited from splitting the brothers up a little (at least for the first two) rather than having them all sing at once. I love hearing them all talk to each other at the beginning, like a behind-the-curtain moment. -> Lyrically: 9/10 "We can't live without you" AWWWWWWWW -> Overall: 9/10 Feels nostalgic even though it came out this year. Another one where the overall rating is based on pure vibes and feeling

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TRIWORLDS

All the Feels -> Sonically: 10/10 Certified banger. Is it something about Barbatos? (His "one more time" in the final chorus is kinda hype.) Feel like there could've been more variety in the instrumental, though. -> Lyrically: 8/10 The verses feel more personal to the characters than in e.g. It's My Party, but the chorus is still pretty basic. It's a little upsetting that one of Barbatos's lines here has more depth to it than most of his characterisation thus far. I find it really funny that they call the listener "buddy." Probably would've been too weird for Luke to say "honey". Also, the "We are dancing, we are dancing (uh, uh)" bridge is so dumb (in a cute and funny way) -> Overall: 10/10 Just a great song to listen to (and imagine choreography to.)

[bonefall]

Do you have any ideas for Owlnose, the least qualified dude to be leader and the first one to immediately say "Fuck it, I can't do this." And refuse the lives?

For one, I want the dude to be consistently kind of a silly loser. I don't rewrite arcs until they're done, but it's always a good time to start doing setup for the future!

Him and his brother Jayclaw had a bit of a clique with Podlight. The three of them were a little group of party boys.

Owlnose developed an interest in drums (Owlfaces) from a young age, partially because of his name.

And, partially, because Jayclaw was a FANTASTIC dancer. Jay became proficient in playing Jingleshells (a full body instrument made of netting and clicking shells) but he loved practicing with a drumbeat behind him.

Podlight is pretty good at improv and singing. Cat band.

Jayclaw fell hard for Curlfeather and Owlnose was a great wingman, but Owl's not interested in romance himself.

He just wants to drum

I need to wait for ASC to wrap up before deciding on if he was in cahoots with Curlfeather's plot, but I'm leaning towards no.

I CANNOT stress enough. He just wants to drum.

Lazy boy who does his jobs and catches enough fish. But you know what's better than fishing? Sleeping

Fish have no reason to fear me. Women are generally ambivalent towards me.

His name in Clanmew is Weearchoop. Barn Owl Button.

"Choop" is the fleshy part of the snout. Clanmew has a lot more words for various parts of the muzzle, but Owlnose's name translates to what a human usually thinks of when you hear the word "nose."

It's a pretty cutesy name, which is fitting for him. He likes the name a lot, actually.

You could translate it as "Hootboop" and you'd get a good idea of how it sounds to a Clanmew speaker.

That's him so far. Guy who Frostpaw is fond of, as her goofy uncle, but absolutely wanted no part of power. Boy on the bongo.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

The Outsiders and Attachment

Ohhhhhkay y'all I finished my human development final two hours ago (we love exams that end at 10pm) and I'm currently functioning on two hours of sleep and and a wee bit of hysteria but part of my cramming studying today was focused on attatchment styles and it was super easy for me to link these to the outsiders so here you go (Im sleep deprived and a psych nerd so this might get rambly and chaotic and hard to follow and LONG- you have been warned)

Ok SO first a shit ton of background info because I love psych. Basically there was this experiment conducted by this psychologist lady Mary Ainsworth and her goal was to measure and catalogue attatchment in infants so she set up this 'strange situation' experiment which (coles notes version) basically involved babies and their mothers being in a room and then leaving the kid alone with a stranger, mom returning, and then leaving the baby completely alone in the room, and they looked at all sorts of behaviour in these babies, things like levels of distress, whether they engaged with the stranger in the presence of their mom vs when they were alone, but the main thing they were interested in were the babies reactions upon being reunited with mom. Ainsworth observed 3 trends in babies and grouped them based on their behaviour.

Group A - babies who didn’t care if they were left with a stranger, and were uninterested in reunion with their mothers. A1 was babies with no interest with their mother, A2 was babies with slight interest in their mom and a desire to stay away from them

Group B—babies who may or may not have been distressed at separation, but were happy to be reunited with their mothers. B1 was babies not distressed at separation and slight interest at reunion, B2 was babies who were mildly distressed at separation, and approached caregiver at reunion, B3 was babies who were mildly distressed at separation and actively sought contact at reunion.

Group C – babies whose behaviour was not consistent at reunion (sometimes would engage with caregivers and then immediately run away). C1 was babies who were very distressed at separation, and C2 was babies who were very passive and did not respond at all to separation

*Note: mild distress would be whimpering and crying, very distressed would be like screaming and beating the ground with their fists kinda thing*

A N Y W A Y here's when things get interesting IMHO because these behavioural trends are the basis of our attachment styles

Group A babies have what's called an Anxious-Avoidant (also sometimes known as Dismissive) attachment style to their caregivers- these babies don't know if their caregiver will be retuning and they don't expect to be reunited. Parents of babies with this kind of attatchment style are visibly unhappy to be with their offspring and their resentment/displeasure is clear enough that babies as young as a few months old can pick up on it. Approximately 20% of babies fit this attatchment style

Group B babies have what's known as a secure attatchment style. They're your run of the mill happy babies, and their needs are met consistently enough by their caregiver that when their caregivers are out of sight, not only do they expect a reunion, they're happy to be reunited. This is most likely due to the aforementioned consistent care. A lucky 80% of babies fit this attatchment style.

Finally we have our Group C babies, who have an Anxious Ambivalent attachment style. Babies in this group have conflicting emotions to being left alone. (some babies might be screaming when the caregiver leaves, others are so apathetic as to have been considered unbothered by researchers). Babies with this attatchment style usually have caregivers who are unresponsive to their needs. These are babies who are abused or neglected, who have no sense of security or routine. apprximately 10% of babies fit this attatchment style.

*Also important to note that babies can have different attatchment styles with different people.*

ANYWAY so while I was studying earlier I sorted the outsiders characters based on what kind of attachment style I think they'd have as babies (fun fact- you often carry your initial attachment style with you throughout your life unless you consciously work to fix it)

Goup A (Anxious-Avoidant)- Steve & Tim Shepard

-Steve's mom split and we know his dad routinely kicks him out even though it isn't usually permanent. To me, it makes sense that his parents would do the bare minimum to make sure he was decently ok as a kid, but their resentment would be clear that even toddler steve could pick up on it. Thus we get sullen little Steve, who avoids or is indifferent to being left in a playpen by himself, and doesn't care when he is eventually picked up

-I like to think Tim Shepard's ma was a little different when he was a baby than when Curly and Angela were born, and while I don't think she was ever a great mom I think she might have given it a go, even though she wasn't the most attentive and was bitter about having him. Thus, Tim becomes another dismissive baby, who doesn't notice or care when he's left to his own devices

Group B (Secure) - The Curtis boys, Two-bit Matthews, Dallas Winston (to his mom)

-We know from the book the Curtis kids had a happy childhood, and that Two-bit's mom is lovely even though she works a lot. thus, we get healthy secure attatchments for these boys

-I like the headcannon Dally had a happy(ish) childhood and was a total mama's boy when his mom was still alive so I think he'd form a secure attachment to her at least.

Group C (Anxious-Ambivalent)- Curly & Angela Shepard, Johnny Cade, Dallas Winston (to his dad)

-This one involves little explanation. I think Curly and Angela (who I hc as twins) were definitely oops babies and by then the Shepards ma was too far into alcoholism and hatred to even attempt to parent, thus Angela and Curly never got used to her being around so the didn't notice when she wasn't. (The securest attatchment they formed was to Tim.)

-Johnny very clearly wouldn't form an attachment to either parent though I could see him being the type who's confused, especially when he was young, because I don't think the Cades were 100% horrible from day one. I think as a baby he would have never known if he was gonna get a cuddle or a kick, so he'd be the baby screaming when left alone, then running up to his parents and away when they came back to whatever room they'd left him in. Lots of turmoil and confusion poor thing, leading to the anxious-ambivalent attatchment

-We know Dally didn't like his dad, so I think an anxious ambivalent attachment, one characterized with a baby dally not noticing or caring when his father is around or when he leaves or returns to be the most likely of the attachment styles for him (i hc he was indifferent to him until dally got a bit older and mouthier and thats when the physical abuse started).

ANYWAY sorry this was so long I'm just a psych nerd who psychoanalyzes fictional characters for fun. If you actually read to the end of this bullshit you're a real one fr.

[presidentbungus]

you wanna do a sniperspy snippet for me...for little ol me......?

always 🥺

ao3

Sniper's not a huge fan of the weather at this new base--they're somewhere in the Northern US, and he wasn't exactly bred for temperatures below twenty-five, but he finds it's worth braving the perpetual moistness for the new base itself.

It's a drab, rickety old building, just like the lot of them, except this time it's built out of rotting wood that someone puts a new hole in just by walking four times a week. But--but, it's an abandoned factory, aged out of utility for that purpose, and old buildings like this are full of nooks and crannies.

Sniper is some kind of burrowing animal at heart and small spaces have always been a favourite of his, so this is an arrangement that works out well for him. It's something besides sitting in his van playing jazz and thinking about his guns, even if it is sitting in a small dusty room in silence thinking about his guns—and no one really cares for exploring so it's usually a safe bet he'll be left alone.

Usually.

The good thing is that the stairs leading up to this particular room, fulla dusty tables with a nice look out into leaves and just about nothing else, act as a built-in intruder alarm with how creaky the stairs are. The bad news is that right now someone is thundering up those bloody stairs and he's in the middle of making great progress knitting himself a scarf.

It's not exactly Scout who he expects to see turn the corner--mostly because he's usually a lot quieter, has this tendency of sneaking up on people, and Sniper coulda sworn he just heard him calling points, or, laps or... is pitches a baseball thing? Somewhere outside.

But the little bugger is fast enough to make that plausible and more importantly looks like he wants something. "Hey... Snipes."

No harm in starting this off with a nice, round, "I'm busy."

"... Sunshine 'n rainbows," Scout mutters. Then he sees the knitting needles in Sniper's hands--a hideous smirk stretches across his face. "You fast-trackin' your grandma career already? Heh."

Scout brought a smell with him into the room. Something dark, and smoky, that settles itself in Sniper's chest. It's so intensely familiar but he can't quite place it. "What do you want?"

“What, is this weird? Something wrong, big guy?” And Scout gets a lot closer, wringing his hands together in a way he distinctly doesn’t do—

Metal flashes in Scout’s hand—Sniper grabs his wrist with unexpected ease and takes out his own blade, and his kukri glides into Scout’s stomach like a nice hot knife through butter. He lets out a high, pinched wheeze, though the lopsided grin keeps spreading across his face--as the shitty cotton crumpled under his fingers ripples into pinstripes, and the hand on his bicep morphs into smooth black leather.

"Maybe it'd do ya some bloody good to stop wearing that cologne," Sniper mutters. He steps away as much as he can with half his weapon sticking outta Spy--the closeness makes him dizzier than he'd like to admit, the smell of smoke and whiskey.

Spy just wordlessly clutches Sniper like any of this still hurts at this point in their jobs, and a thin line of blood starts trailing out between his teeth.

He already knew it, but the confirmation of it annoys him. "You wanted to get caught," Sniper says, grimly—through what would be a carefully-crafted facade of ambivalence to anyone else, but he knows Spy can look straight through him, read him like a bloody book, so he keeps on pushing the knife through his stomach until he can see the tip come out on the other side, glistening crimson.

Spy coughs for a little while before he seems to be able to work up the breath to respond. "You are not a very good host, are you?"

"Figure there's a bit of a difference between a guest and a bloody intruder, mate."

There's blood all over Sniper's shirt. Oh well. "The fact that you are yet to kill me indicates you are unsure where that line lies…” His eyes flick up teasingly. “Mon ami."

And the right thing to do after that, the professional thing to do, is to pull his kukri out and then shove it into Spy's face until he can't tell the difference between brain and gristle, but he still just keeps standing there with their faces way too close for comfort, frozen to his spot.

Spy notices his hesitation, of course he does. And somehow his smile keeps twitching wider, even as the rest of his face knits itself together with the effort of standing. "You seem to have made your decision."

"Do you have anything to do besides..." He doesn't want to find the word. "This?"

"Dinner," Spy says quickly. "Ah, picnics... weekends away..." He glances up at Sniper long enough to imply, and teasingly: "But no, nothing I can do alone."

"What about sitting here and bleeding out while I go find someone better to talk to?"

"But who is better to talk to," Spy gurgles, "than the man you spend all day on the battlefield ogling through your scope?"

He can't stop the blush from crawling across his face. "Not—ogling is a—I'm just doin' my job."

"And I am very much not doing mine. All I ask is one night." Then that hand shifts over to his chest, trails up to his neck.

"You have a motive you’re not giving here." They both know this isn't true. Sniper already knows he's going to leave this room having promised something he's not entirely sure about, but there's no point in dropping the charade just yet.

"Do you want me to beg, monsieur?" He must not respond quick enough, because he follows right away: "You have no perception of how dire the romantic prospects stand on my team, and you are, regrettably… so very handsome.” Smart fingers pass all the way up his cheek, dip just under the collar of his shirt, like there isn’t a knife in his stomach. “And I know there is something about me that attracts you, and you seem to be completely unwilling to cross the distance on your own, and I will refuse to continue standing for it." Spy pauses for a second to spit the blood out of his mouth and then turns back to Sniper and grins. "Kiss me."

That's the first thing he's said all day that actually makes sense. The next few seconds is a blur; thankfully there's enough blood in both of their mouths that covers up the fact that Sniper has no idea what he's doing and Spy very much does.

At some point Spy's legs buckle and he hits the floor with a loud thump--Sniper doesn't go with him, really takes him a couple of seconds of standing and blinking to figure out what just happened to him, and finally, finally, the image of Spy laying on the ground and choking on his own blood reminds Sniper that he is currently being paid to do a job.

The sound of him pulling his rifle off his back doesn't seem to perturb Spy at all; in fact, his smile still defies physics and finds room to grow, even as he writhes in the ground out of... what can't really be called pain anymore, but instinct.

With a gun-barrel resting on his forehead all Spy does is raise his hand and say: "I will see you on Friday. Shower."

All Sniper can find to say to that is "I shower," but that's muttered in the middle of the gunshot and at that point it's a losing fight. He knows Spy's just getting on his nerves. That's all the bugger does.

Arsehole didn't even bother to confirm that Sniper had any interest in seeing him, but... Sniper knows, with a heavy dose of shame, he probably implied the answer well enough on his own. Piss.

[koipalm]

HI YES HELLO HI HI HIHI HIHIHIHIHI. HI. SORRY, I'M TRYING TO PROCESS. YOUR. SY ASSISTANT AU. Hey. Hi. I'm in love with it. I'm in love with your au. I keep thinking of the hijinks that Shen Yuan gets into with the other peak lords. I'm sorry, but I'm going to ramble about it - if anything, it's all your fault for making such a brilliant AU. Shoot me down if I'm wrong about any headcanons I'm making about it, but teeheeheeehehehehehee. Okay, so first, thinking about Xian Shu peak. Because Shen Yuan is so irrevocably fruity that, when other guys could be being creepy over the girls upon the peak, Shen Yuan is just trying to stay upright and not pass out because of the ✨gay thoughts✨ that stop him from sleeping. The girls could even find him sweet in the way you see a dishevelled rat and go "awww!", whereas Qi Qingqi just occasionally nudges him with her foot to make sure he isn't dead. Next, next, Liu Mingyuan. The chaotic shipper herself. She sees Shen Yuan glancing at Liu Qingge occasionally and just cracks her knuckles like, "oh, this is is going to make a great book series" and, in typical fashion, starts writing everything. She, at one point, writes Shen Qingqiu as a love rival, which is something that Shang Qinghua holds over poor Shen Yuan's head forever. Liu Mingyuan is the kind of gal that has locked Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge in close quarters together just so she can make new writing about it later. Liu Qingge, who sees this pathetic blob of a man sometimes dragging himself around the different peaks (usually in spirit but, on a couple of very strange occasions, literally), has no idea where Shen Yuan came from. So, after asking his sister, he decides to ask the man himself - in what he thinks is a very normal fashion. Shen Yuan, however, sees Liu Qingge (terrifying Peak Lord of Bai Zhan) storming towards him and promptly cornering him, and just passes out. Hands down. After this, he is utterly baffled. When Mu Qingfang asks (read: scolds) about it during what can be described as a supply drop, Liu Qingge is treated to a lecture that is basically "Shen Yuan is like a little mouse whose heart will give out at any moment because he doesn't take care of himself." Liu Qingge listens and hears "Shen Qingqiu bad." It's not like he's actually trying to steal Shen Yuan in any sense of the word, he just likes the little mouse not looking ready to pass out (he would definitely force a cup of tea into the man before he lets him leave, because he's helping right? Toootally.) I did say I would ramble...I did say I would- (Sorry, I just love love love it)

thank u so much for liking it!! im actually really blown away that this many people like the au it was very simple when i thought abt it <3

& unfortunately (& i probably should have specified earlier my bad lol) shen yuan has a lot of fraught relationships with the other cang qiong cultivators! most won't say it to his face but plenty think he's putting on an act or scheming with sqq and because of how close he and sqq work he can't escape sqq's reputation in the sect. a lot of the disciples from xian shu peak actively despise him for working under sqq, while qi qingqi herself is suspicious but mostly ambivalent. liu mingyan is reserved because she eventually sees lqg and sy get along fine, and she would have a lot of fun with his stupid humor. lqg is ALSO mostly ambivalent to him bc of sqq but they grow closer together due to proximity. his whole confusion on sqq and sy's relationship would have to be a completely new post lawl

that being said shen yuan is actually fairly close to mu qingfang in a coworkers way in that mqf actively worries after his health but he's mostly unwilling to interfere in sy and sqq's relationship due to fear of retaliation. all in all i find it really fun to take the popular views on shen yuan and his relationships and make them more complicated SORRYY my bad i just think its really interesting ^^ it's not to say that he won't ever have friends its just that i think cang qiong mountain has a whole host of problems they should address and im having fun with it HAHA

[diminuel]

I think the au where Roger is Dragon’s dad is the same one where he and Crocodile are able to hold it together enough to stay a couple through the pregnancy+birth and thereAfter

Having a parent who openly loved him and didn’t make him spend every moment doing push ups and fighting bears was just enough to give Dragon the emotional intelligence he needed to make this work in his 30s

Possible! Most of my AUs Dragon and Crocodile manage to make it work somehow, usually with some break ups (there is one AU for sure where they don't make it, possibly two depending on whether they are the same.)

If we take Stinky Child AU, Dragon did spend time with Roger (as shown in the Baby on Board comics), though there's not been a lot of contact between Dragon and the Roger pirates after a certain point and Dragon is at least somewhat ambivalent about his relationship with Roger. But he's had people in his life that cared about him. And while Garp's a mess and does make him do push ups and fight bears and throws him into all kinds of life and sanity threatening situations when he's far too young, he cares deeply about him too.

Though now I'm thinking about how Roger and Dragon having a proper father-son relationship might have impacted what happens later on.

[axilog14]

Just thinking out loud, but blind box BJDs kind of have an awkward spot in the doll community as a whole.

They stand apart from conventional blind box toys - they have a fashion doll element (basic articulation and fabric clothing) unlike Kidrobot, Sonny Angel, Tokidoki or Pop Mart figures.

The most popular styles are smaller than classic 1/6 scale fashion dolls (Barbie, Monster High, Rainbow High etc.), and don't have rooted hair.

The larger BJD fandom is somewhere between ambivalence and frustration towards them. At best they're considered a nice gateway to the hobby, at worst their mass-produced style is incompatible with how personalized "traditional" BJD culture is.

In practice they're probably closest to a Nendoroid Doll or Obitsu 11, since they're roughly the same scale and can share clothes. Yet they're still considered separate fanbases since most Nendoroids are based on anime and other Japan-based properties. Blind box BJDs meanwhile draw mostly from Chinese fashions and aesthetics.

The only other doll line I think they're similar to are those articulated Molly figures, which are usually much more expensive and targeted at high-end designer toy collectors.

I'm weirdly spoiled since my location makes blind box BJDs more accessible than popular Western dolls. I prefer smaller dolls in general, and a Penny's Box or Simontoys BJD is cheaper for me to get than the 6" Magic Mixies Pixlings or Rainbow Brite dolls (which cost WAY more here due to either store markup or shipping costs).

Overall blind box BJDs owe more to fashion dolls and art toys than the "hardcore" BJD aesthetic, which isn't a bad thing but does create dissonance in fan expectations. I wish there was a more clearly defined fandom for them, but then you run the risk of overlap with the larger BJD or obitsuroid fanbases. Maybe a general "1/12 scale doll" umbrella could work, buy it's not exactly social media-friendly.

[loopy777]

So I've read 'The Reckoning of Roku'

This isn't a real review, just my impressions and reactions. No spoilers.

I'll start by admitting that to me, Randy Ribay is no F.C. Yee. I vibe perfectly with Yee's stuff, to the point where he's on my "Read Anything They Write" list; I vibe with his genre choices, his dialogue, his characters, his scope, his storytelling, etc. By contrast, Ribay's writing is functional for me, but nothing more, and feels bit more narrow. There are a few instances, even, where I think he made some amateurish wording choices, but most people probably wouldn't be bothered by it and that's likely me just being snobbish. What I'm leading up to is that I think the story is Fine, and I don't have the enthusiasm for it that I do for the earlier Avatar novels, but neither do I think it's bad.

Part of that ambivalence is our familiarity with Roku. Compared to Kyoshi and Yanchen, we know a lot more about him. We have an entire episode of AtLA devoted to his life story. This book finds a slot we haven't explored before, but I think I could summarize the feel of the story by describing the prologue: the book opens after Roku has learned he's the Avatar but before he says goodbye to Sozin, then skips the scene where said goodbye is said (since we saw it the cartoon and I guess there was no desire to novelize it), then resumes the next morning for their final public formal goodbye, all while trying to achieve the same feel and impact of the actual goodbye scene from the cartoon. Similarly, my impression is that the book covers a character arc for Roku which feels very much like what was covered in 'The Avatar & The Fire Lord,' presented as a kind of microcosm of that lifelong story, via events set shortly after he begins his Airbending training.

For all that, though, it fits poorly considering what we already know about Roku. These novels have been very free with retcons, especially when it comes to Avatar Kuruk, but I've been pretty tolerant of that since so little was known about those characters previously and they obviously weren't constructed to be protagonists of their own stories, just props to Aang's. But Roku was a bit more developed and got a whole episode devoted to his life story, so I feel like some things are revealed about him in this book that should definitely have been mentioned in 'The Avatar & The Fire Lord.' Likewise, what we see of Roku's Airbending training in the cartoon doesn't really fit with this story, and I feel like a hint about Sozin's father in the cartoon is interpreted in an awkward way here. None of it "breaks canon" or anything, but it sticks out as a poor fit.

But I'm sounding pretty negative so far. Let's talk about what I like in the book.

Young Gyatso is wonderful. 10/10 no notes, as the kids say.

Sozin is a real piece of work, as he should be.

Ta Min is a lot more interesting than I expected.

As I've noted in a lot of my talk of the AtLA comics and the other Avatar novels, I'm usually very down on forced references to random stuff in AtLA/Lok, and especially needless explanations for elements of those stories which would be better just as something random. However, there's something in this novel that's both a forced reference and a needless explanation, and I thought it was hilarious and wonderful. So good on Ribay for making that work for me. I'm still grinning about it.

The plot is more straightforward than the previous novels, but still creates tension and mystery. It also has a few beats that feel rather mythical, which I always enjoy. And I think it does a great job creating a balanced set of stakes, where things feel urgent and important without leaning on the old Fate Of The World too much.

The story feels complete while also having some very clear paths for the sequel to follow.

So, overall, I think the Avatar novels continue to outshine the comics, even if I don't want to kiss this book.

[neonmetro]

ATILLA IS SO SILLY WHATTT. THE POWER IS SO COOL TOO......the pretty princess ever tbh. Was there anyone Atilla felt bad for "liquifying" and turning into a cocktail ? THE CUTEY REAL

Also, I'm quite curious about Michael.....I know they are probably the original state of Moloch and Arakiep before they split, but I'm curious about Michael as a person and their personality, perhaps their backstory too if it's not too spoilery. THEY ARE SOOOOO CUTE I WANNA SQUISH THEM. THEIR HAIR IS ALSO AMAZING. I WANNA EAT IT💕💕💕💕💕

-paris anon

HEHE!!!! he really is kinda a diva i'm ngl. what do you mean you have a whole outfit just to liquefy people in.

HE DEFINITELY FEELS MORE CONFLICTED ABOUT IT WHEN HE ISN'T STARVING BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HE NEEDS THAT INSTANT GRATIFICATION FROM STARVING. it depends on how long he's known them for, if its just a short time, tough shit get drinked. though if it was someone like viola he'd probably just. lose it.

michael used to be a weapons tester for project martyr along with chemosh, chemosh focused on how the soul input was while michael tested how durable and effective the weapons were and worked closely with azazel 👍 essentially being their closest friend at work they used to be the one who organized a lot of work trips and employee outings and generally was a Nice Guy

nothing is particularly special about them though. they don’t have a lot of hobbies (like peneume.) they like. Working. they actually like the grind it makes them feel fulfilled, and they tend to jump to conclusions…. they hate having emotional responses they usually just disassociate. the only thing that’s kind of special about them is the fact that they were the only survivor of a vagabond attack (aside from reficul, bezaliel, and aishire) and actively ran away

they’re just constantly content with their life. they could vent out any pent up frustrations in a semi healthy way so they found it fine. just fine. its fine. they are fine. as long as they could just get through it and work harder, they don’t need to suffer anymore. they didn't have a lot of plans for life and just. did whatever tbh. they couldn't see themselves at projmar 10 years down the line but they didn't know what their future was

despite this ambivalence, they’re very prone to anger. they dislike people telling them how they should live their life and judging them for not having everything figured out like they’re a child. constantly being burnt out does that to someone

azazel, despite what they say about michael, greatly admires their ambivalence, because ultimately they got to survive while azazel didn’t. michael on the other hand greatly appreciates azazel as a person but only respects them for the work they do. they see azazel as a bit of a loser. (arakiel does not like their memories with azazel of them being so “weak”, and actively insults azazel for it in front of their face.)

both moloch and arakiel have limited memory and michael themselves was pretty forgetful. arakiel specializes in close combat but was given handguns and moloch specializes in ranged combat but was given a spear, michael could use both just fine.

michael had a pretty terrible father and home life as a child and just dove into extracurriculars and school to avoid it all. they got to a good college and had their dad pay for it and they have to live with that fact with the rest of their life still unsure if he died or not but arakiel and moloch are just like i have my evil twin to kill i don’t have time to think about killing my dad rn

[bittersweetresilience]

Adrien Agreste and Borderline Personality Disorder

DISCLAIMER: I've been a bit low on spoons this week, so I haven't gathered as much evidence as I probably could have. Also, I am but a humble student in clinical psychology. This is mainly a thought compilation for @moonieratty!

To introduce the topic, without going into it too much, personality is described by features and behavioral patterns, or traits, consistent across situations and across time. Personality disorders are therefore enduring patterns of highly maladaptive traits evaluated in personal and sociocultural context (Dozois, 2019, p. 290).

Like other disorders, personality disorders have diagnostic criteria. The DSM is used primarily for diagnosis in the US and Canada while the ICD is used more widely in Europe and other places. I'm more familiar with the DSM, but I've included a brief section on the ICD to be comprehensive. It ended up a bit longer than anticipated, so let's go below the cut. Warning for discussions of abuse, self harm, and suicide, and a brief mention of substance use.

Overview of Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD is prevalent in a small percentage of the population, about 1-2% by varying estimates, and is characterized by instability across domains of emotions, identity, interpersonal relationships, and behavior. Its onset is usually in late adolescence or early adulthood and symptoms may diminish with age, after one's thirties or forties, especially with therapeutic intervention. Along with ASPD, it has been the focus of a lot of clinical research; it is unfortunately associated with high rates of non-suicidal self-injury and suicide (APA, 2022, pp. 754–755; Dozois, 2019, pp. 308–309).

Etiological factors for BPD include both biological and environmental disturbances. Of note to our discussion is the heightened risk for BPD in cases of child abuse or neglect, as well as growing up with another family member with a serious mental health condition (NHS, 2022). It's been well established that Gabriel is emotionally neglectful if not outright abusive toward Adrien in multiple ways, so this is a clear risk factor. In addition, although I won't argue definitively for Gabriel having a psychological condition, he did keep Emilie's body in the basement, so there is clearly some kind of disturbance going on.

From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, Linehan argues that BPD stems from families who consistently invalidate childhood emotional experiences and "oversimplify the ease with which life's problems can be solved," which may cause children to learn to seek attention and communicate with others through emotional outbursts (Dozois, 2019, p. 297). This rings true for Adrien and Gabriel as well.

I have to apologize for my son, Ladybug, he's like his mother. Way too overly dramatic. (Jackady)

It doesn't seem like this is the first time Gabriel has thought this, and labeling an emotional reaction as being overly dramatic is very much invalidation of it. As for emotional outbursts, Adrien has had quite a few, mostly as Chat Noir. More on this later.

To round out this first section, attachment theory proposes a connection between poor parent-child attachments and BPD relationship difficulties. Specifically, maladaptive behavior in relationships may stem from childhood development of an anxious-ambivalent attachment style, where intense fears of abandonment interfere with a strong desire for intimacy (Dozois, 2019, p. 310). You can clearly see this in Chat Noir's relationship with Ladybug, and I'm sure other people have discussed Adrien's attachment style more in depth, but suffice to say I think this is an apt description.

Argument from DSM-5-TR

In the DSM, personality disorders are primarily diagnosed on a categorical model. There are a few general criteria which I won't be going into, but I will highlight that personality disorders are stable and pervasive, and would be diagnosed only if they were leading to significant distress or dysfunction. Adrien's mental state is not great, so the latter shouldn't be a problem, but this show does not always pay attention to consistency, so I'm going to be speculating some. Everything in this section is cited to the relevant DSM entry unless otherwise stated.

The DSM characterizes BPD with instability in relationships, self image, and affects, as well as marked impulsivity. It has no exclusion criteria, so BPD can be and frequently is comorbid with other disorders like mood disorders, PTSD, and ADHD. Of the below criteria, five need to be met in order for a diagnosis to be made.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Hey, where're you going? . . . So you're allowed to know her true identity, but I'm not? (Syren)

You're not really replacing me with a turtle, are you? (Anansi)

A lot of people have delved into Adrien's abandonment issues, which feature most prominently in his relationship with Ladybug. His fears of being replaced result in him seeking reassurance from Ladybug, and he can lash out if he does not receive the response he hopes for. Ladybug is his world, and he wants to be hers, so anything infringing on that feels to him like a threat of being abandoned, and he does not like it very much.

Impulsive behaviors like giving up his ring can be interpreted under this lens: he can avoid abandonment by doing the abandoning first. Then it will be him leaving, and not the other way around.

I also interpret Adrien's nightmare (Le Marchand de Sable) as being a fear of being alone as much as it is a fear of being trapped.

Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

We'll be united, more powerful and free. We'll defeat Hawk Moth, then we can both run away to an island! Far away from everything. We will live off nothing but fruits, and we will have a little pet hamster and we will name it— (Le Patineur)

I just can't do this anymore. I give up… on everything. Even you . . . If I become Chat Noir again, Ladybug will just end up rejecting me, over and over. (Kuro Neko)

Even though Adrien mostly keeps his head on straight regarding what he's owed and not owed by other people, his relationship with Ladybug is full of highs and lows. He thinks Ladybug is the most amazing girl, but this can recoil quickly into feeling as though Ladybug doesn't care about him enough or isn't meeting his needs.

Furthermore, he developed this idealization of Ladybug as a potential lover or caregiver at one of their first meetings (Cœur de Pierre), and continually sought to spend time together and share the intimate details of their secret identities early on. These are all common to individuals with BPD, as is the switch from idealization to feeling as if the other person "does not care enough, does not give enough, or is not 'there' enough." Ladybug is the only person Adrien consistently projects this instability and intensity on, which might be something interesting to explore.

Identity disturbance: unstable self image or sense of self

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be what my parents wanted me to be! (Exauceur)

But, does that mean Chat Noir is who I really am? Deep down inside? (Kuro Neko)

With all the secret identities, it isn't surprising that Adrien fits this criterion, but canon even explicitly draws a link between Adrien's unstable sense of self and his childhood experiences. He doesn't know who he is, and he distracts from this by being Chat Noir, only to struggle even more when he feels useless and underlooked as his hero self. His behavior shifts dramatically between trying to prove himself with grand gestures and refusing to participate or lashing out. There is definitely something to discuss on this front.

Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas

Giving you some extra time . . . I trust you to bring me back, m'lady. (Gamer 2.0)

There are only two liars left in Paris and one of them knows the ultimate way to catch her attention . . . Crazy about you, m'lady. (Mensonge)

This is walking a thin line between impulsivity and suicidal behavior, which would be excluded from this criterion, but I'll list self sacrifice here because I can see an argument for Chat Noir's impulsive behaviors being out of love or the desire to be useful. There may still be some self injurious intent or euphoria, but Chat Noir does have faith in Ladybug to bring him back eventually. Nevertheless, this is impulsive and unhealthy. Chat Noir jumps too quickly to this option to have thought it through.

I can't think of another area, because Adrien isn't old enough for reckless driving, spending, substance use, or sex. This is also a kids' show. Just presenting these options for fanfiction writers out there.

Recurrent suicidal or self mutilating behavior, gestures, or threats

I... I don't know what to do! (Chat Blanc)

This is all our fault . . . Cataclysm. (Culpabysse)

By itself, what happened in Chat Blanc would not be solid evidence, as that was an unprecedentedly traumatic situation. Combined with Culpabysse, though, there is a strong case to be made for at least passive suicidality for this to be able to come up as an option.

You could also interpret the self sacrifice in this category. Suicidal behavior in individuals with BPD is often preempted by fears of rejection or abandonment, so an interesting analysis could be made on this front.

Affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood

He's still only thinking of himself! I just want this terrible day to be over and done with! I hate Christmas! (Pire Noël)

Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to make you so mad. I get it. You're sick of me . . . No one can help me, Kagami. (Glaciator 2)

Adrien's prolonged episodes of anger and despair reflect a high reactivity to emotional stressors, especially interpersonal ones. In general, he just doesn't feel very well unless something is actively bringing him joy. Most of his outbursts are brief, though, and I will discuss them as part of a later criterion.

Chronic feelings of emptiness

I'm not Adrien, so I wouldn't know if this is the case, but I can say he has experienced at least one depressive episode (Kuro Neko) and emptiness would not be unfamiliar. You can look at him and decide.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

How was your amazing evening with your "friends"? . . . What do you think? (Glaciator)

Why not? No one'll know if I quit. No one'll care! (Syren)

A two-person plan?! There's only one two-person plan, and that's Ladybug and me! (Sentibulleur)

Give me a break, Miss "I can't even come up with a superhero name"! (Hack-San)

Anger in individuals with BPD can manifest as bitterness, sarcasm, or recurrent verbal outbursts, which Chat Noir absolutely exemplifies. These outbursts are often followed by feelings of shame or guilt and contribute to a feeling of being bad. Chat Noir apologizes after being harsh in Glaciator, and I wouldn't be surprised if he felt badly about the other times. Again, these outbursts are often precipitated by interpersonal fears and perceived threats of abandonment. Unlike other symptoms, this specific one tends to be unique to BPD.

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociation

I cannot recall any evidence for this but headcanon away, my friends.

All in all, I think Adrien has a strong case for BPD presentation according to the DSM. Canon is not always consistent, but I think it presents an interesting and mostly coherent narrative for this lens. From this perspective, Adrien's behavior reflects a deep intolerance of being alone and a dependence on other people to define the self.

As a corollary, BPD behavioral patterns are frequently linked to self sabotage and self undermining right when a goal is about to be realized, which could manifest as dropping out of school right before graduating or ending a relationship when it seems to be going well. Food for thought. Individuals with BPD may also feel more secure with transitional objects like pets than with interpersonal relationships, which could reflect in Adrien's relationship with Plagg.

To add some subjective understanding to this clinical mumbo jumbo, I've added a source of genuine BPD experiences below (Mind, 2022).

Argument from ICD-11

With the release of the ICD-11, a dimensional model for diagnosis of personality disorders became the new standard. What this means is that individuals are no longer labeled as having 'histrionic' or 'dependent' or, indeed, 'borderline' personality disorders, but are rather assessed as having any form of personality disorder on a sliding scale of severity and with trait domain specifiers (Swales, 2022). To put it more simply, people are diagnosed only with a general personality disorder or personality difficulty which can be optionally specified as deviating on one of the personality traits in the Big Five model, which is well established in personality psychology.

This move has several benefits. Stigmatization related to particular personality disorders can be reduced, and differential diagnosis and comorbidity between personality disorders becomes irrelevant. However, people retain access to treatment and support. Evidence-based treatments like dialectical behavior therapy are particularly well established and crucial for BPD; for this pragmatic purpose, the ICD contains one additional specifier for borderline pattern personality disorder (Bach et al., 2022; Swales, 2022).

The DSM and ICD are designed to be compatible with each other in many ways, and in this case, the borderline specifier in the ICD is directly lifted from the criterion of the DSM (WHO, 2023, 6D11.5). Based on our previous discussion, Adrien would be equally qualified for a diagnosis in France. I would likely describe his personality disorder with moderate severity, where multiple areas of functioning are affected and self harming behaviors may be present, but not all areas or relationships may be equally impacted and traits are not as rigid and inflexible (WHO, 2023, 6D10.0–6D10.2).

Interestingly, the ICD includes three additional manifestations of borderline pattern which are optional and may vary across time (WHO, 2023, 6D11.5).

A view of the self as inadequate, bad, guilty, disgusting, and contemptible

An experience of the self as profoundly different and isolated from other people; a painful sense of alienation and pervasive loneliness

Proneness to rejection hypersensitivity; problems in establishing and maintaining appropriate levels of trust in relationships; frequent misinterpretation of social signals

I'm fascinated by the number of adjectives in here. I simplified very slightly, as I did with the DSM criteria, but I had to keep all these adjectives. Anyway, I won't elaborate for too many more paragraphs, so let's say sentimonster moment and leave it at that. I will spare you my mirrored Félix essay. For now.

Qualifications and Limitations

First of all, Adrien is a teenager. The distinguishing factor between a personality disorder and regular adolescent difficulties would be longevity and identity concerns beyond his developmental phase (APA, 2022, p. 758). Second of all, Adrien has a uniquely terrible home life and magical problems. Some of his behaviors could be normal considering his experiences and sociocultural context, and this matters when it comes to psychological evaluation. Take everything with a grain of salt!

More generally, the categorical model of the DSM has several issues, not to mention diagnostic issues related to culture, gender, and stigma. Some but not all of these issues are addressed by the dimensional model it includes in a later section, which shares theoretical foundations with the model of personality disorders in the ICD. Even so, issues remain. Diagnosis, access to treatment, and political statements are intrinsically linked in complex ways. I won't get into all of the nuances, but be safe, remember this is a fictional character, and keep an open mind.

REFERENCES:

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Bach, B., Kramer, U., Doering, S., di Giacomo, E., Hutsebaut, J., Kaera, A., De Panfilis, C., Schmahl, C., Swales, M., Taubner, S., & Renneberg, B. (2022). The ICD-11 classification of personality disorders: A European perspective on challenges and opportunities. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 9(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40479-022-00182-0

Dozois, D. J. A. (2019). Abnormal psychology: Perspectives (6th ed.). Pearson.

Mind. (2022, September). What does BPD feel like? https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/experiences-of-bpd/

National Health Service. (2022, November 4). Causes - Borderline personality disorder. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/causes/

Swales, M. A. (2022). Personality disorder diagnoses in ICD-11: Transforming conceptualisations and practice. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 4(Special Issue). https://doi.org/10.32872/cpe.9635

World Health Organization. (2023). International statistical classification of diseases and related health problems (11th ed.). https://icd.who.int/

[possessiveandobsessive]

A Cat for Her Crow

Pairing: Lucanis x fem!Rook

Synopsis: Lucanis Dellamorte has a soft spot for two things: cats and a certain red-headed elven mage that goes by Rook

Hello! This is my first multi-part story that I'm posting so be kind please! 😅 This story will have 7 parts total, and is just a short romance fic about Lucanis and Rook from Dragon Age: The Veilguard. I hope you enjoy!

Part 1: It's a Catwalk

Lucanis closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the familiar, salty Treviso air. He definitely needed this visit home. He told Rook before he left that he just needed some quiet moments alone in his city to gather his thoughts and get his head back on straight. Lucanis had been feeling so many emotions for the past several weeks following his escape. The "death" (and then the return) of his grandmother, his reunion with his Crow family, only to be betrayed by his cousin, and of course his new contract to KILL ACTUAL GODS.

He took another much needed gulp of air following that particular thought. Pinching the bridge of his nose (his signature sign of stress) he sighed at tried to organize his chaotic mind.

Easy. We kill. The bad ones. Who hurt. Crows. And ROOK.

Lucanis let out a quiet snort at Spite's commentary. Of course it was easy for HIM to line up his goals, all he cared about was revenge.... and protecting Rook. But Spite wasn't incorrect. First, he'd worry about his contract on the evil blighted GODS (it never got any less weird or insane, even as time passed), and then he would worry about the rest of his twisted, complex emotions.

However, he needed the final ingredient in calming and clearing his mind in this moment before he could return to the Lighthouse. Before he could face Rook. Lucanis turned and followed the familiar path he'd walked probably hundreds of times before. He had calculated this specific route through the city over the years, he had perfected it so that it served his purpose in the most efficient way possible.

Lucanis was taking his Cat Tour of Treviso.

One thing that no one knew about Lucanis (except probably Teia), was his profound love of cats. It would be bad for his reputation as "The Mage Killer" and "The Demon of Vyrantium" if people knew he enjoyed petting, holding, and talking to cats more than nearly anything else. This route through the city passed through all of the high volume stray cat areas of Treviso. He went through the market, by the Cafe, down through the slums to the docks. He thought it was odd how many cats hung around the docks given all the surrounding water, but the cats of Treviso tended to be especially fearless and carefree. He smiled at that thought. Of course the strays of this city were among its toughest inhabitants.

Lucanis stopped to say hi to every cat he saw, and was delighted to encounter all but one of his favorite cats on this evening's walk. He was sad not to run into Raven, a stealthy, calculating black cat with golden yellow eyes, that moved more akin to a panther than a housecat. She was easily his favorite, and she reminded him a little of his grandmother with her shrewd gaze and seemingly ambivalent attitude. He wasn't concerned for her safety one bit. Lucanis had seen Raven put a mabari hound in its place in under 3 minutes. He had no doubt that she was fine, just not floating around her usual haunt near Café Pietra.

After he had completed his Cat Tour, Lucanis felt much more at ease. He was no longer worried about showing up to the Lighthouse in such an agitated state that Davrin finally kept his word and ran him through with his well polished blade. The thought did make him smile though, which probably indicated something negative about his mental state, but he didn't feel so reckless or dangerous (to friends). Even Spite seemed to be more content to just ride along after seeing and petting all of the cats.

Smart. Good at smelling. At hunting. We respect.

With that final thought, Lucanis stepped back through the Eluvian in the crossroads that would take him to his current home.

* * *

Alright, so Rook was worried about Lucanis. "Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving the problem, kid." Varric's words echoed around her brain as she sighed in defeat. She was definitely concerned for the brooding assassin. Rook knew he hadn't been sleeping. She also knew it was because he was terrified of what Spite would do with his body if given the opportunity to take control. However, even the Demon of Vyrantium had to sleep at some point, and Rook feared that Lucanis was rapidly approaching total system failure.

"What should I do, what CAN I do?" Rook muttered under her breath as she paced the library. It was her responsibility to take care of her team, she had to help Lucanis. A snide voice in the back of her mind remarked that it wasn't just responsibility that drove her to want to help, to protect, the stubborn Crow, but she wasn't willing to give that voice the time of day at the moment. She HAD to come up with SOMETHING.

Rook stopped pacing a moment and considered what Varric would do in this situation. He was right upstairs, she could ask, but she felt like she needed to solve this one on her own. She furrowed her brow and flipped through the advice and tactical knowledge fragments she could remember.

"If you don't have the answer, rely on your team a little.There's a reason you have them." Rook started forming a plan as Varric's words replayed in her mind. If she didn't have the knowledge to tackle this issue, she had to find someone who did. Luckily, she didn't have to think for too long. There was one person who knew more about Lucanis than anyone. Rook turned on her heel and walked downstairs to the Eluvian. She needed to go to Treviso.

Part 2 here!

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Sources of Conflict, Secondary Characters, and Agency in SGE

The supporting cast of the prequels is awful as far as them as human beings with the barest shreds of common decency goes. I'm tempted to say they have no restraint. They are madmen—take the Pan for instance—unlike the Coven, Agatha (not that she's a side character), and even book one Beatrix, who all have some ethical standards and rationality to them. Really.

The brothers are the only "Good" characters, possibly along with Kyma, Midas, and Rufius, albeit, about two of these three don't have the most major impacts on the plot. (And classing either of the brothers as moral is a stretch by itself.)

Literally everyone is against them, if we're operating with protagonist-centered morality. The brothers have a solid relationship, and external factors tear them apart. It's a man vs. society/world conflict with them.

And, nearly all the supporting characters, the jerks in particular, enter the narrative by themselves. They are out for their own personal gain. Aladdin fits this description, to a point; he's on a fine line. And, Vulcan, Marialena, and the Pan definitely fit without question. They are invaders. I'd add pre-reformation Hook to the list, but to be fair, Rafal "recruits" him by kidnapping/human-trafficking.

In contrast, the main series cast of secondary characters are mostly decent people, which makes for a completely different atmosphere, however hostile the Schools may be with Evil Rhian at their head. These side characters were simply trying to live their lives, have a normal school year. Then, Sophie and Agatha arrive, and their appearance creates a major disruption.

Things don't go on as they normally would because they are meant to overhaul the status quo while Rhian and Rafal were meant to uphold it, which is an interesting juxtaposition by itself. The creation twins and the destruction twins. Both forces/freaks of nature, the pairs. Inevitably leading to upheaval and uproar. They're forces of order and chaos, plain as day.

Nearly all the supporting characters in the main series are ambivalent and are dragged into the plot/tale by the sheer force of Sophie's drama. She's the prime mover, with the magnetism of a black hole. She's the will of Man, the engine for conflict. The supporting cast is just trying to stay alive and exist alongside our all-consuming protagonists. They're not truly out to get anyone until they're offered the chance to leap at, until they're given any kind of motivation to take offense. They revolve around Sophie and Agatha and the tale, while the prequel side characters revolve around themselves and their own desires.

The main series' supporting characters aren't active agents in their own stories—unlike Marialena, Vulcan, and Aladdin, all with indisputably ulterior motives—they're along for the ride: the Coven, Tedros, even poor Agatha... The story revolves around Sophie and her decisions/actions. The conflict stems from them, her and Agatha.

Meanwhile, in the prequels, the conflict arguably stems from a wide array, a multitude of sources, and the brothers themselves are only one factor or source of conflict among all the rest. Rhian and Rafal are along for the ride in everyone else's games (the Storian's included). And the brothers are both active and reactive.

Their decisions matter, sure, but the determining factors are often out of their hands. For two immortal School Masters who would/should probably have control over a lot of the Woods/the future of civilization under usual circumstances, they sure don't have much agency on an in-narrative, plot level.

Look at Rhian, even on a lesser, personal level: his soul seems to override his self, sort of, and he ends Fall as if he's been possessed by his own inherent Evil. That's the most obvious example I can point to.

Basically, my point is that, unlike Sophie, unlike even Sophie and Agatha as a duo (and they are mere, seemingly powerless Readers), Rhian and Rafal do not orchestrate the events of their own plot nearly as much. You'd think the brothers, as aware of their genre and the workings of their world as they are, would have the advantage, but no.

They aren't the "authors of their own misfortune," at least not entirely. It doesn't matter how much claim free will seems to have. (It doesn't have much, considering we have a non-negotiable prophecy in play at all.) It doesn't matter how much the narrative claims they have free will (it doesn't really claim that to begin with). They're both far more beholden to the yoke of fate than Sophie and Agatha could ever be.

The dynamics in these pairs of twins are similar, on a small scale, but how they interact with their plots is different. Therefore, Man/free will/choice wins in the main series, and Pen/Fate wins in the prequels.

[donnerpartyofone]

We are now entering the holiday season, more or less, which starts early for my family due to a birthday, and I wish this didn't fill me with ambivalence. I like my family, they have interesting things to say, they're great hosts, they can create an idyllic sort of environment; but meanwhile, there is the exhausting obligation to somehow promote oneself, to find something to take to market, and I don't have anything like that and it causes problems. I'm the only person in my family who isn't outrageously accomplished. I had all the same opportunities as everyone else, it was just never going to happen, I'm not good enough. Which sounds self-pitying but honestly it only sounds that way because our ears are conditioned to hear it as some kind of criminal admission of an unacceptable circumstance, instead of a casual acknowledgement of a completely normal circumstance. I think I would feel a great, cathartic relief if it were socially acceptable to just concede that you're a loser, that you're not going to amount to anything due to personal limitations. I mean, I feel like this should not be controversial actually, but it seems to make people feel frightened and confused and angry and if you even come close to saying "This is about it for my personal potential, nothing really worked out"; anyone who hears this will immediately go to great pains to try to force you to take it back, even if they believe it themselves.

I think this might be more true than usual in my family. I think they're embarrassed to know me, but admitting such a thing could make anybody feel like a bad person even though they shouldn't, they have a right--but to avoid feeling guilty (about something they shouldn't feel guilty about), there has to be this endless, exhausting game of make-believe where we all pretend to like me and to be interested in what's going on with me. So I have to like "bring something to the table", I can't just say I have nothing going on; I have to describe one of my dumb little hobbies that I kind of just nominally get paid for once in a while, and they don't understand what it is or what is the context or why any normal person would care, is so I have to describe it in a lot of boring detail, and then by the time I finally get through clarifying what the service/product is everyone's eyes are totally glazed over but they still have to find the energy to respond as if they are somehow impressed. And then the next time it comes up, we have to do the whole entire process over again because no one ever remembers what I said because they didn't really get it the first time, and it's really something they wouldn't even have to know about if it weren't for me, and it's at least as exhausting if not more so.

Recently I tried out a strategy of just saying less. I thought that if I just clammed up and didn't draw attention to myself, then that would put everybody at ease. (Asking other people about themselves only gets me so far, they always seem a little annoyed, like when you're trying to explain fashion to your uncool aunt or something) Sometimes it's like I'm not really there anyway; when I got engaged they threw a dinner for me, and there was about twenty minutes of discussing the wedding before the rest of the evening was devoted to someone's restored, vintage BMW and the drama of where to park such a beautiful and valuable object. Then there was the birthday outing where nobody asked me any questions, the whole afternoon was devoted to someone else's brand new Audi, which distraction prevented them from attending a super important professional event I had actually-on my birthday. The deflection to someone's fancy car whenever I require attention has become a private joke between me and my spouse, who frankly I sometimes think they are not nice enough to because he's married to me. He's an interesting person with a serious career that tells him a lot about how the world works, but sometimes I think they kind of see him as another stunted child because marrying me reflects poorly on him.

Which could totally be a projection on my part, but anyway. The point is I tried out my policy of only speaking when spoken to, or at least not saying anything personal, and everything indicated that this should have worked out, but it seemed to just make people even more mad at me. Admittedly there was an extenuating factor, that someone's famous friend came over and immediately challenged me to say that I was a professional writer like everyone else, and when I confessed that I was just unemployed, he kept trying to put words in my mouth about how successful I must be in some other way, and it was mortifying for me but more importantly it was mortifying for him that I couldn't reward this behavior. Meanwhile, another relative asked me exactly one question about myself--a career question--and when I didn't have an answer, that was the end of all conversation until we were all departing and she accused me of refusing to commune with her even though she missed me and was dying to talk to me. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do.

I feel the need to defend these people. I'm certain it's true that they care about me in that deep-down, fundamental, blood ties way. That's a lot more than many people get from their families. And it's mostly true that they have not been openly hostile or insulting; I mean this is absolutely not true historically, some pretty fucked up things have been said to my face and in front of groups, but this hasn't happened in long enough that I think it's right to try to let it go. In some ways it would be easier if everything were just bad enough that we could all give each other the finger and part ways. What I'm grappling with is this feeling that if I don't work really hard, I'm going to become estranged, which I think would be bad both spiritually and strategically, if you have a family who doesn't actively harm you I think you should keep them around for many different reasons. But it's an established thing that if one family member pulls away, there's a loving conspiracy to draw them back, whereas if I seem to become a little distant, I'm going to get accused of something, like even in writing sometimes. So I have to be on my best behavior all the time, and I have to keep playing this game where I pretend that big things are happening for me and I have to do a whole marketing presentation on this total lie even if everyone is bored to death and not a little embarrassed. I don't know, I guess it's nobody's fault. There's no way we would ever know each other if everybody weren't forced to be related to me, I might as well try to make it easier for them. It's just hard because there is nothing about me that would make it ACTUALLY easy for them to be associated with me, so I'm dutybound to kind of just laboriously smile and make shit up for the rest of my life in order to keep clinging to the fringes of our existence.

It just sucks because I love the fall, I love Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's. And it's not NEVER fun to be with my family. But the season I love is just tainted with this anxiety because it's like illegal to admit that you're just sort of a loser, and my family could never admit that they just basically kind of dislike untalented, unsuccessful people, because there's a cultural prejudice that that's a moral failing--which it isn't, it's just a personal preference, but I guess we're all saddled with the same baggage. Everything would be so much more relaxed and intimate if we could openly accept the way things really are, but it's definitely never going to happen. Stress.

[politemagic]

Hi so I listened to Alpha Wolf for the first time today and was SUPER surprised at how much I dug them. I don’t usually get into bands that have only harsh vocals (I love the screams but usually I’m like PLS A MELODY OF ANY KIND) but despite that, I REALLY fuckin liked them. Like stank face in the car laughing to myself over how much I was into it.

And I was super shocked at how clearly I can make out what he’s saying??? Like I’m used to squinting through “please enunciate ffs” with literally every band I listen to (fall out boy fan over here.) but this I was like “OH!!!! I can hear those words!!!”

Anyway, genuinely and thoroughly enjoyed the two songs I listened to, please tell me your favorite picks so I can enjoy more

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME!!!!!!!

genuinely, lochie keogh is one of my favorite vocalists for the EXACT reason that i can actually understand him. and that is saying SO MUCH coming from someone with auditory processing issues but i think that they're honestly such an approachable band in terms of harsh vocals. they definitely have some heavier tracks, but they have a lot that's a perfect balance.

here are some of my favs (i'm going to try to pick some that i feel like you'd vibe with if you're not as into super harsh vocals)

so this one is currently my most played song and probably my favorite from their new album.

i'm not sure which two you listened to, but you need to listen to this one. this is from the split ep they did with holding absence (so it is featuring mr. lucas woodland of the delightful video i posted yesterday)

this one got that final-track-on-the-album razzle dazzle✨

i will definitely recommend this one for you because i'll play it around my partner, who does not like metal at all.

when you say that you can understand what he's saying, this is one of the first songs i think of. because the way i was blown away by how well he enunciates in this song!!!!

okay i'll leave you with that top five <3

fun fact: every time someone tells me that they started listening to alpha wolf my health bar expands. the amount of love i have for this band is unreal, and i love seeing other people enjoy them.