#i'm too lazy to make these level out properly

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[baphmochii]

Random Thought #3:

[Been a hot minute since I last wrote a random lil' thought onto my blog, ofc it's about our man Sal. This thought has been coming to mind.. A LOT lately and I'm kinda loving it, heh.]

. . .

What if.. Sal had chest hair?

➤ To get this out off my chest, I don't think Sal would have a beard considering it doesn't make sense nor is it.. possible for him. I can see Sal having slight stuble on the none-scared part of his face (left side) like if he's too lazy to shave, haha.

➤ Hear me out.. Sal with chest hair, preferably much older Sally - around his mid or late twenties and so on. It's obvious his father (Henry) seems to be quite the hairy guy so maybe Sal inherited some of those genetics from his pops.

➤ Sal isn't overly hairy on his chest, not like werewolf levels of hairy, lol but was thinking as an example: Brahms Heelshire (The Boy). If anyone can see my vision with this and get a good understanding of it as well, thank you. I am horrid at trying to properly explain I'd have to flat out draw Sal with his mighty chest hair, lmao.

➤ Hairy man Sal just.. awakens something inside of me, y'know? Obviously, I can see him with some arm, leg, and underarm hair but the happy trail on that man and just something about Sal having a hairy chest drives me up a wall. (I HAVE to draw it).

➤ At first, Sal didn't care much for his hairy chest, thinking about shaving it off to have that smooth feel again but once you had told him how much you loved it on him - he quit shaving his chest. Sal loves the way you feel him up too, he finds it arousing yet comforting, he loves when you touch him whether it be his face or hands - the man loves your touch.

➤ Sal also finds it incredibly adorable how you'll shove your face in his chest, he loves when the two of you are cuddling and of course you're lying on top of him - face buried in his furry chest slightly dozing off while your arms are wrapped around him. Every so often he'll glance down at you, a smile on his handsome scared face as he rubs your back before turning his attention back to whatever he's watching on the television in your guy's shared bedroom.

➤ Now, I do not see young adult Sal (18-19) having much of a hairy chest, for my vision around these ages he doesn't start growing chest hair until he's hitting his twenties like some hairs here and there, if that makes sense. By the time this man is 26-30 and so on.. the mans.. GROWN ASS MAN. Larry kind of gets jealous a bit from it, older bro jealous that younger bro's got hairs on his chest (and bigger muscles lol) thought that'd be funny.

➤ Sal doesn't really take his shirt off often whether he's indoors or outdoors, I feel like it's every once in awhile when it's too hot or something. I feel like Sal would wear (obviously) his icon long sleeve shirt or a regular shirt or some tank he has lying around his room, the times he doesn't wear a shirt you can't really take your eyes off your man. I'll leave whatever thoughts you'd have of him to the imagination, lol.

➤ Regardless of his body type whether it's muscular or dad bod Sally with a hairy chest you'd still be all over him in a heartbeat, you'd be on him so much he'll have to keep a crowbar on him at all times to get you off of him when needed, lmao.

. . .

[That's all I got unfortunately.. it isn't the best random ass thought for tonight but.. it's something I suppose and I hardly see any Sal stuff on here anymore which makes me sad.. I wanna have more fics of my darling husband.]

[faggotnojutsu]

Autistic!Tobirama yap sesh.

Small warning: I have only watched the dub and I am only about halfway through the manga so bear with me if any of this doesn't fit the tbrm you perceive ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠_⁠˘⁠)⁠┌ my bad. Also I wrote a lot of this half asleep... I'll probably get into it even more but there are so many typos in my Google doc so I'll post that after I go through and refine everything.

This is a wee bit long btw... It could be longer.

That doesn't make the hc born of stereotypes imo, many autistic people are like that, and I think it's a bit lame and out of touch to refer to the existence of blunt, monotone, and dulled emotional output as the "wrong" type of autism rep or hc.

I have seen at least a handful of complaints about people headcanoning Tobirama as autistic by arguing that the hc is based on stereotypes and I simply disagree. He's blunt, to the point of being taken as detached, doesn't really show any emotion.

(Lazy edit: I originally had written that Tobirama is socially inept but I actually do not agree with that! He just places logic above emotion, which can lead to uncomfortable situations where he has spoken too bluntly when it is not a particularly appropriate time. It's not that he doesn't care about others emotions, he just has a hard time understanding using emotional reasoning over logical reasoning because that's not how his brain works. He's also pretty silly but nobody gets his humor, sad.

I think that he would be able to show compassion towards those who he knows well if they weren't doing so hot. If we go down the “Hashirama kind of lost it after he ‘killed’ Madara” route, Tobirama would very much be there for his older brother. He wouldn't grieve with Hashirama by any means, but he would try his very best to be a comforting presence by being understanding, and taking responsibilities off of his plate.

That doesn't exactly mean that he's some emotionless asshole either. But I think he would have alexithymia, making it hard for him to understand or label his own emotions. The combination of his childhood, where he was raised to believe emotions = weakness, on top of ASD could contribute to this.

I think it would be funny if he had to go to Hashirama and ask him what he's feeling because Hashirama knows his Tobirama's emotions better than Tobirama does. Alexithymia does not hinder his ability to regulate, even if he struggles identifying what emotion he's experiencing. He's good at developing strategies to remain level-headed.

I guess I could also see him being on the opposite side of that spectrum where he is fully in tune with his own emotions, but I'm not as interested in going into the how's and why's on that. End of edit)

Moving deeper into hc territory, Tobirama lives by and finds comfort in rules. I see him as a man of strict routine, organization (even if it may be chaotic). He has become adaptable to change to some degree, you'd have to be able to deal with unknowns being a Shinobi period. But if his concrete "normal" life planned routine were interrupted or plans went awry ([insert plan] was supposed to happen this way but it's all fucked even though [insert plan] is supposed to be safe) I think he would be susceptible to losing his shit.

Unable to properly focus, unable to communicate well, wanting nothing more to lock himself away and engage in something safe, and oftentimes doing so, even for days at a time, if [insert plan] has just been FUBAR'd.

And that brings me to the next thing. Tobirama's special interests. This man created revolutionary and powerful, highly useful Jutsu. I think he'd find comfort in researching. He could yap for hours about all of the techniques he has studied, the intricacies of how he created or came up with the idea for his Jutsus, etc etc. But he seldom does actually yap because:

A. He doesn't have the time.

B. He doesn't see many people as worthy or understanding enough to deserve his knowledge.

But as many autistic people know, special interests can also be a bit consuming. That man would absolutely lock himself away and forgets (or simply ignores the need) to eat/drink water/bathroom/shower.

C. He hasn't been made to feel comfortable yapping very often.

There's something about his sensory abilities that ties into autistic!tbrm for me. I can't really find the words to describe why. I see a mix of sensory avoiding and sensory seeking for him.

Sensory avoiding: He's a picky eater, certain tastes and textures just can't be redeemed to him. There are certain touch textures that he will physically recoil and gag from because of the painful sensation, specifically if he was unprepared. Certain sounds make him want to shove his katana through his ears to stop the disgusting feeling that said sound produced. He does not enjoy touch from other people unless he is initiating or asking for it, especially light touch, it's icky.

Sensory seeking: He involuntarily stims whenever he's allowed to just turn his brain off. Alone in his own space away from everyone? Bro is chewing on his brushes and rocking back and forth. I think he would also prefer bright lights over dim, partly because I also do hc him as not having very good vision, the fuzziness of dim lights makes him feel frustrated and distracted.

For some madatobi brain rot: the first time Madara watches Tobirama start rocking from side to side with a brush wedged in his mouth and gnawing on it, he is so... so put off. Tobirama doesn't even realize that he's doing it, so when Madara is like 'hey what??' Tobirama just blankly stares at Madara like he's going crazy.

Slowly he realizes that maybe Tobirama isn't just an asshole, he's wired differently. But it takes a lot of 'wtaf is my situationship doing' to come to that conclusion.

Also: If there were a word for autism in their era, Tobirama would vehemently deny being autistic. He's normal actually, the rest of the world is just fucking weird with their societal norms and such.

Uhh that's all for now folks. Feel free to add onto this however you want to :)! I love yapping about nd!founders.

(also little thank you and shout-out to @instant-bull for being my inspiration to actually write this all down)

[ariacore-xd]

haaay ! very shy but can u do luka x reader. like theyre already probably a couple, but it's just a daily life of them (and prolly what its like for them both in the alien stage.) thank uuu,, (I love my men blonde, manipulative, and cunty hell yeah I love Luka)

"My world would have collapsed, had it not been you."

Hello anon! No need to be shy <3 I'd be honoured to fulfill your request! (Also Real I love Luka too if you haven't figured it out yet :3)

Contents: Luka x reader (interpret as gn or fem), Canon Alien stage Au, cuddling(?), Mentions of death, Fluff, comfort, sfw, short ass fic Enjoy<3

—"Hey gorgeous.. I see you've forgotten to lock the door, hm?.."

His tired voice sounded in your ears, breaking the silence that had settled in, much to your surprise.

You quickly turned around from your spot on the mattress just to look at his frail figure leaning against the doorway, eyes closed.

"Luka..? You're not supposed to-"

"Not supposed to be out in this hour.. need to go back to my room.. yadayada.." A sorry excuse of a smirk graced his tired features, his eyes finally opening to look at you.

"You really think I care about being caught and punished by that old, slimy creature? Please."

The quiet sounds of his footsteps against the cold floor soothed your ears for some reason, but it wasn't enough to calm the growing concern for him. He didn't look well, at all. And your suspicions were further confirmed when you felt his arms wrap around your torso, quietly tucking his head underneath your chin in the process and letting you feel the heat of his forehead against your skin.

He hummed when you gently brushed his hair up, his eyes fluttering shut in the process as you massaged his temple. You heard him muttering something incoherent under his breath.. something along the lines of "..'m tired.." or "migraines.."

This careless asshole.

"Luka, you don't know how freaking hot your forehead is, and you're here in my arms instead of resting in your bed. Don't do this again. You know how your guardian is. If he finds out, we won't be able to meet anymore and—"

A cold finger shushed you from chiding him further.

"Scared about me, moonbeam? Did you think I'd ever let that happen?"

Now his eyes were on yours, looking at you from underneath his position with tired amusement.

The look on your face made him chuckle softly, reaching out his hand to gently trace the curve of your cheek, his thumb finally coming to brush against the supple flesh.

"Hey.. don't look at me like that. It doesn't suit you.."

He raised his eyebrows, letting the coldness of his fingers seep into your skin. It gave him some level of satisfaction, seeing you shiver. You gently pushed his hand away, holding it in your grasp and rubbing it in an attempt to warm up his fingers.

"If you weren't such an idiot, I wouldn't be making this face."

He chuckled, before gently moving his head away from your throat to look at you properly, watching your expression with lazy eyes, before sighing and pulling your side to his chest.

"oh gorgeous.."

He hummed as his cheek gently rubbed against yours, feeling the smoothness of your skin gliding against his. His fingers pushed themselves into the heel of your palm, slowly intertwining your fingers with his. A sigh left his lips, the huff of air gently blowing against your skin like a lover's caress.

"...I would be willing to do anything for you. Even if it's breaking the rules, even if it means suffering painful torture from my guardian.. it would always be worth it."

He turned your face towards his gently, his light yellow orbs gracing yours.

"Because I'm doing it for you. No one else."

A sigh left your lips as your gaze lingered on his face for a moment longer, before embracing him tightly, bringing him into the warmth of your body. He willingly sank into your embrace, not minding the sudden show of affection, stroking your hair and twirling the smooth strands between his fingers as the soft notes of your perfume assaulted his senses.

"... Just don't hurt yourself, or leave me. That's all I want."

Luka smiled at your foolish response unbeknownst to you, hugging you tightly in the process. You were naive, dumb and delusional to ever think that he wouldn't leave you one day, alone on this planet without any warning.

And he wanted to protect that naivety in you. As long as he was here, by your side.

A/N: Hi so.. I'm actually alive!?

[purpledemonlilyposting]

I’ll say it, all these people, Falgi, Beckett, and whoever else, will run defense for a pedo if it’s advantageous to them.

The reason they all had a falling out with Westside Tyler is because he was investigating demon mama for wage theft (after she called Xander hall out for it) and he found out through that investigation that her partner Doe is a groomer and pedo. This led to president Sunday and I believe Eiko? (Some poli/drama streamer) getting bent and allowing/engaging with one of their community members making rape and necroporn about Tyler’s wife and their communities trying to find out real stuff about her! When Tyler rightfully said ‘hey, that’s weird, please stop’ they pulled the ‘it’s just a troll, calm down’ comment and kept allowing it.

This led to Falgi and Beckett also distancing themselves from Tyler and saying it’s weird that Tyler thinks it’s weird that they obsessed with writing porn about him.

These guys have no moral backbone. They don’t care about what right or wrong, all they care about is keeping their gross friends and communities because they worry the second they step out of line and say ‘that’s enough’ they’ll be destroyed. They’re trying to do it to Tyler and now they’re doing it to you.

They can’t say it’s just trolling when they allow and encourage it to happen and shame anyone for saying it’s weird they let it happen.

Yeah I pretty much experienced the full gauntlet of their nearly Scientology level cult-like tactics yesterday. After Beckett finally got the call with me he kept asking for he had to call in Falgi and Lazy Bedhead to soothe him for hours and hours afterwards. Lazy Bedhead was particularly ironic given Beckett just freaked out on me over supposed "purity testing" and making up a scenario in his head where I was gonna farm him for drama. All because I set a pretty reasonable boundary and made a decision entirely for myself to no longer network with him on YouTube.

Beckett starts saying to Falgi: "Sai is gonna turn on YOU next" and Falgi takes the signal and immediately starts distancing himself from me, already talking about me in the past tense by the end of their stream from what I've been shown.

At one point when I was still in chat Beckett started saying no one had even heard of me before I talked about Lio (he means no one in the ""commentary community"" which I do not and have never cared about) but as soon as I pointed out I have 10k more subs than Beckett Falgi starts going WHOA WHOA, DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S SO TOXIC WHOA.

I send Falgi a message yesterday about how I feel about their conversation, he excuses and brushes off pretty much all of it. Before I can even get back to him properly he makes an announcement in his server that despite people shit talking me in there he still values me and anyone who goes too far will be timed out.

I check out the thread on me and tell people they can just like talk to me. Lio is there and I make fun of him for talking through his enforcers Gilded Poo and Azure Fox on social media instead of directly to me. Falgi goads me into fighting with him in his "Creator clash" chat making it sound like it's only going to be me and Lio.

Of course they let Gilded just sit in there going "RAPE RAPE RAPE" the entire time. Falgi is still assuring me how much he appreciates my support and values me as a person on a personal level nothing about numbers in DMs while refusing to acknowledge the things Gilded is saying is sexual harassment. After saying people who go too far will be timed out.

So after that very stupid conversation Falgi immediately goes live with Beckett under the pretense that they're going to listen to me slapfighting Gilded on Malcolm's stream. Instead they start reading the very conversation I had just let Falgi bait me into with Lio.

I realized he's manipulative and twofaced and has been lovebombing me this entire time. Falgi and Beckett were absolutely convinced I'm trying to join this pulsating cancer of a community despite me consistently saying I have no interest in being part of the "ACC" or "SCC" or anything like it.

So my support has been withdrawn from both The Opp Block and Cope and Seethe and I'll no longer be interacting with their channels, their social media, or boosting them in any way. I'm sure one of them will do another 5 hour stream about how much that doesn't bother them and how much they don't care.

Guess I'm gonna be raiding Tyler again. I had no idea what he supposedly did in the first first place and these people are all duplicitous snakes who have nothing better to do than make each other miserable on Discord all day so I'm sure it was nothing. I just hadn't watched him in a bit lol.

[dairsmuids]

A Deadly Performance

A Haytham Kenway x Reader smut fic (named for the mission it's set after, because I'm lazy at coming up with titles)

Dedicated to @anli-rambles my beloved, because I love you endlessly, and my life is better for having you in it. (shut up I can be as sappy as I want this is my fic <3) Thank you for being the first person to read this, because your praise actually hyped me up enough to want to post it lol

Tagging: @bloodfathers @sangheilihoes @ladysaturnsdust @amefuyuu @wyyvernn @memoriesofafallen @heiress-prime

Haytham's cape billows behind him as he strolls out of the opera house doors, seemingly unbothered by the cacophony taking place behind him. He walks with his usual air of cold confidence, greeting you with just the briefest hint of a side smile as Holden opens the carriage door to let him in.

"And how was the opera?"

"Rather dull, truth be told," comes Haytham's deliberately-flat response. You can't help but giggle into your palm at that — you know full well, of course, why he'd come here and what he'd done — but Haytham is far too busy inspecting the amulet in his hand to react to, or even notice, your amusement. He seems utterly bewildered by the fruits of his labour as he twirls the unusual item between his fingers.

"Shall we be off, then?" asks Holden.

"Aye, to Fleet and Bride."

"By your command."

As the carriage begins to move off, the hollow sound of the horses' hooves ringing out against the ground, you lean into Haytham's side, to which the Templar finally acknowledges you properly with a soft kiss to the side of your head.

"Missed you," you murmur, "Holden's been beguiling me with tales all evening in your absence."

Haytham just hums a noncommittal response, clearly still distracted by the amulet in his hand. You reach for it curiously, but he moves it away with a playful air as he finally makes eye contact with you.

"So, this is what Master Birch has been foaming at the mouth about," you say, leaning in to take a closer look.

Haytham gives a subtle raise of his eyebrows as his steel-blue eyes find the amulet once more. "His utterly inane preoccupation with this... this... prattle evades any level of understanding I've had of him over the years," he says, and you can tell by the tinge of frustration in his voice that there's something going on there, something deeper than he's letting on, but you don't press the matter. Even if you did, you knew Haytham likely wouldn't wish to speak about it.

Wanting to be a place of solace for his very obvious disgruntlement you reach over to plant a kiss against Haytham's cheek, your lips lingering upon his skin for a moment or two, before placing your hand gently upon his knee, stroking your thumb idly against the clothed skin. Haytham doesn't respond at first, his entire focus still on the amulet, but then you glide your hand all the way up his thigh, squeezing gently as your fingertips brush his crotch, and his body language stiffens up ever so slightly.

"What are you doing, my dear?" he asks, gazing at you now, with an arch of one single perfectly-groomed brow. There's the tiniest hint of a smirk flickering upon his lips.

You flash him a grin. "You just seem a little... tense, is all. I thought perhaps I could help with that."

"Is that so?"

"It is so," you tell him, and you lean in to press your lips against his, his hand trailing up the back of your neck as the two of you begin to kiss in long, slow, perfectly in-sync strokes.

You give his thigh another light squeeze as you pull away from the kiss, tracing your fingertips up and down, glancing downward to notice the way there's now a very obvious bulge at the front of his breeches, "May I be allowed to… help you with that, sir?"

At first you wonder if perhaps Haytham is against the idea of you doing something so wanton to him in a semi-public setting, but his hooded gaze and the way he suddenly leans in for another quick peck on the lips tells you all you need to know. "You may," he replies, and then his warm lips are against the shell of your ear, his voice a harsh growl as he speaks again: "Discreetly, or there'll be trouble."

And so you do as he commands. Haytham's eyes drift closed as your hand slips upwards and into his breeches. A small, restrained groan falls from his parted lips, his fist tightening around the amulet in his palm.

"You're utterly insatiable, you know," comes the Templar's voice, low and raspy, as he opens his eyes to regard you again, his intense gaze fixed upon the side of your face. You swipe your thumb over the head of his cock and he immediately responds, sucking air through his teeth. "Didn't you get enough of me this morning?"

Your thoughts drift back to earlier in the day — Haytham had given you a wake up call in the form of his teeth at your neck and a hand between your legs, before proceeding to take you in bed, on the chair next to the bed, and against the windowsill. A good morning indeed.

"I can never get enough of you, love," you say with a smile, and then you lean in closer, dropping your voice. "Besides, I figured you were deserving of a reward for the job you did this evening. This is a much better reward than any kind Master Birch would give you, hm?"

Haytham breathes out a chuckle at that, though his gaze is clouding over as he does so — clearly too distracted by your touch to fully engage in a conversation. "I should certainly hope Reginald never offers me this kind of reward; I may have to pledge my allegiances elsewhere."

Your chest jolts slightly with the ghost of a laugh as you grasp at the waistband of Haytham's breeches, pulling them down just enough to expose his now fully erect cock to the open air of the carriage, immediately reaching to wrap your hand around him, stroking up and down with just the right amount of speed and pressure. This isn't the first time you've done this to Haytham: you know just how he likes to be touched.

Haytham drops his head back slightly as his chest heaves with heavy breaths, his eyelids fluttering shut, and he reaches for the red cravat around his neck to loosen it slightly.

"You're going to be the death of me, you naughty little thing," he moans, his voice a quiet rumble that barely pierces the air around the two of you.

You hum happily at that, revelling in the velvety warmth of his cock in your palm as his hips thrust upwards, one of his hands scrambling to grasp at the back of the carriage seat while the other still tightly grips onto the amulet. It's clear he's trying his best to control himself, but as you continue to move your hand roughly against him, you can tell that restraint is quickly becoming the furthest thing from his mind.

Haytham presses his hand to his eyes, pushing upwards into his hairline and grabbing lightly, as though he needs to hold on to something, anything. A few rogue strands of dark hair fall loose from his usually-perfect ponytail, framing his slightly reddened face.

"You're a menace," he chokes out as you swipe your thumb over the head of his cock again, the action making a filthy slick sound as you smear his precum up and down the entire length.

Restraint appears to be an entirely forgotten concept to Haytham now as your continued touch sends him hurtling toward the edge, his hips fucking furiously upwards into your hand like nothing else matters in life. He looks a dishevelled, desperate mess, a million miles away from his usual buttoned-up self, and you love that you're the only one who can coax this side out of him.

Haytham's entire body begins to tense up, his thigh muscles tightening until all at once you feel his entire body shudder, a long, guttural moan escaping from between his parted lips. His stormy eyes roll back into his skull as he lets himself fall into climax, his release coating your palm, the abundance of it dripping down your wrist and onto the warm skin of his exposed stomach.

Without missing a beat he reaches his hand into the chest area of his jacket, pulling a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his red waistcoat and offering it to you, which you accept with a soft laugh as you use it to clean up the sticky mess on your hand. “Ever the perfect gentleman,” you say teasingly.

Haytham chuckles as he draws in a deep breath, his demeanour now seeming much more relaxed as he begins to straighten himself up, tucking his softening cock back into the confines of his breeches.

“Let me fix this,” you murmur as you reach for his loosened cravat, untying it before redoing it into a perfectly even bow. His gaze upon you is heated and intense, as though pouncing upon you like a wild animal would be preferable, and as you meet his eyes you can't help the blush that spreads across your cheeks.

“For what it's worth, my darling,” Haytham growls lowly, his warm breath tickling your ear as he leans in close, “I fully intend to repay the favour later.”

[lolahasmoxie]

Cuddle Monster (E.M.)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Childhood Best Friend Reader

Warning: (smacks fanfiction) This baby holds so much fluff! Kids! Cuddling! CASUAL INTIMACY UP THE ASS!

Word: 487

Notes: I'm a second-grade teacher, and my kiddos still love to give hugs. I also have friends with kids the same age. Not gonna lie; some warm kid hugs just make my soul happy. This doesn't really push the story forward at all; it's a pleasant little interlude.

Also, my edible JUST kicked in. Enjoy!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 /

@kimmi-kat @feltonswifesworld87 @mrsmunsonxquinn @iguessyourejustwhatineeded @hahahafucku @emilyroxy @ihatepeanutss @mackyboo21

Ronnie Wayne Munson was his father's child.

Whenever you watched Ronnie, it was like seeing your best friend grow up all over again. But the similarities ran more profound than just sharing the same hair and colored eyes.

It was how they both poked their tongues out while in deep concentration to how they would fall asleep in full starfish mode; you enjoyed every bit of Ronnie Wayne Munson.

Especially the fact that he inherited his father's love language of physical touch.

Every time you were at their home, Ronnie would take you by the hand (after his father had welcomed you properly with a kiss) and had you sitting on the couch as soon as he could. Then he would proceed to climb into your lap, tiny arms around your neck and his warm body pressed against yours, as he told you about his day.

You'd had to chastize Eddie once or twice as he sat next to you on the couch. His arms crossed over his chest, and a pout on his plush lips, as his son slept in your arms.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"You came to see me; I should be in your lap."

"Eddie, he's 4!"

"I mean, this level of disrespect in my own home is appalling. I will NOT let it go unanswered.”

“Jesus Christ, get over here you giant baby.”

Weekends are a sacred time for you and Eddie, but you can hear his tiny little feet creeping into your bedroom like clockwork every Saturday and Sunday.

You feign sleep, trying to hide your giggles as Ronnie huffs and puffs as he tries to climb into your bed. He always comes to your side of the bed since Eddie sleeps like the dead, and eventually, you pick him up and gently place him in the middle.

His warm, tiny body curls instinctively into you. You run your hand up and down his back to coax him back to sleep. You let out a yawn when Eddie stirs next to you.

"You two left me out? What's a guy got to do to get some damn cuddles in this place?"

"Eddie, the sun isn't even up yet. Can you wait until, like, 9 am to be weird?"

"Nope, cuddle me, NOW."

"But we're so warm and cozy here." You give him a sleepy grin, closing your eyes as he grumbles while inching towards you and his son.

"Gonna file a complaint with the Union, I tell ya. Can't get a cuddle from my woman. Can’t get a cuddle from my own begotten progeny, my very own flesh and blood..."

"Go to sleep, Eddie."

"Not until you tell me you love me."

Silence.

"Please?"

"Fine!" You lean in, and in seconds, Eddie's plush lips are softly pressed against yours. His arm lands on your waist, both of you creating a soft cocoon for Ronnie. "I love you."

"I love you too, Princess. Can I tell you something?"

"Tell me."

"This, all of us. It feels really nice, right?"

"It feels perfect." You feel lips against your forehead and calloused fingertips trace lazy patterns as you slowly fade back to sleep. "Wouldn't change it for a thing."

[beebookmagic]

Alright it's about time I start posting The Boys. My sweet drow Tavs and their relationships.

We're going to start with my golden child. The favorite son.

(if you would like to read about who he was in the past, you can find that Here)

Elendar

He is a new-to-the-surface drow from a small drow village in the Underdark (unnamed bc I'm lazy by nature, and I didn't want to put him in Menzoberranzan bc I'm really still learning about All Of That. (currently reading the Drizzt books for the first time)) He is on the run from home as he accidentally killed two priestesses of the noble house he lived in. (It was self defense. But drow do be drow.) This is also where his burn scars came from. They are relatively new at just over a year old.

He was closest to the elderboy of House Corborel, Veldrin. Elendar believed Veldrin had been on his side, but when he learned the truth of how things came to be, he felt nothing but betrayal. The feeling is mutual from Veldrin.

His lute and his treble clef necklace are from a half-drow from the surface, Kel'diin, that he met when Veldrin's house kept them prisoner. Elendar stole the lute out of Kel'diin's things on one of his many visits to the cells. He later painted the bats on it when he got to the surface. And the necklace was.... a gift.... from Veldrin....

Elendar, in a fit of losing control over his identity when abandoning his home village, changed his name and managed to dye his hair with some mushrooms he found along his way out. He attempts to redye it when he can, but is currently out of dye at the beginning of the events of bg3, and his roots are showing *a lot*. (Much to his dismay)

He is rather vain and likes pretty things, but is also not used to owning anything pretty that wouldn't be taken away from him. He does care a great deal about his appearance. He is insecure about his eye color, as it's very clearly a Surface Elf Color, but as far as he's aware, he had drow parents who also had drow parents. (genetics man! But he doesn't get that.) It particularly made life difficult for him in his old village. (Which we will get to when I share who he was before. oh yes that's coming huhu)

He is roughly in his mid 160s and is about 5'5 (which in my truth of dnd makes him tall for a drow, but short compared to surface elves.) He is a former worshipper of Keptolo and Lolth, and currently doesn't worship anyone due to The Trauma. (He is considering Eilistraee or Vhaeruan tho, but he'd like to remain agnostic as he figures himself out for the time being.) He speaks drow and drow sign language, and is currently learning Common.

For his bg3 stats, he is College of Lore, and kisses Astarion, who he convinces to not ascend. Tends to favor padded armor that he never truly wears properly bc he finds the surface a little too warm for him during the events of the game. (He does wear it properly against the Elderbrain tho, to be clear. he's dumb but not suicidal.) Weapon of choice is the shortsword, and his favorite spell is Cloud of Daggers. The tadpole translates everything for him like a babelfish, as well as eases the sun on his eyes.

In addition to this, Elendar's story also coinsides with @marquis-charbon 's Tav, Alastor, as we decided to do their stories in multiplayer (after doing solo runs with our boys. We just think its fun for our guys to have a bestie who isn't a canon character.) His relationship with Alastor is very "You rescued me, now I'm your problem." But they are incredibly close, and probably the one person they trust the most outside of their love interest.

For his regular dnd stats, I don't have much if any intentions of actually playing a real dnd campaign with him (or any of my guys tbh. Finding a table is hard, and I actually hate dnd combat like... so much. but I'm also bad at improv RP sooooo), however I did build him (with help from a friend) to level 3 just to get his subclass and mess around with available spells.

His bard subclass is officially College of Whispers, and his favorite spell is Suggestion.

I think that's pretty much everything there needs to be said as an intro to my son! I do have one Tav/Astarion fic finished (but not posted), and another fic in the works which deals more with his past. and I can't wait to share them. ☺️☺️

[theshiftingly]

Fame DR - Writer/Kids Show Actress.

I have like 3 Fame DRs. This one, singer, and another actress.

Out of all of them this one is the most relaxed. Originally I was just a writer but I added actress to it. For writer I don't focus on kids books, I do more late teens. I won't go too into writing because it's actually something I have going on and don't wanna share that idea.

Kids show aspect of it.

It's supposed to give nostalgia vibes, Like Sesame Street, The Muppets, Lazy Town, and The Fresh Beat Band. The characters start off as background characters for Sesame Street but then get moved to their own. I call it "The Better Place" and I gave it that Bluey hype.

I've written some episodes for the show.

This is Kinda the layout for my character MariGold

MariGold is very much Sharpay, Miss Piggy, Alex Russo, and Sun Hi? Like that level of diva but also nerdy, and quirky. I don't know how to explain her too good.

I got the role off of a whim because I had no previous acting experience. She wasn't supposed to be a big character only popping up every once in a while with small things. Until fans loved her (and the other 4 members) so much that they got their own side show.

I centered MariGold on stuff I liked growing up and on stuff I wish I had growing up.

Growing up I never had my curly hair they'd always put that relaxer in my hair. And sadly it's something that I still do because idk how to do my hair. I tried during quarantine but got so much backlash. So in my DR I have my curly hair.

I make sure MariGold is able to teach children that their hair is pretty and how to style it. I'm also plus size and remember getting bullied for that plus because I had hair on my arms. So I also make sure to teach kids that their bodies are beautiful.

MariGold is also latina like me and I even have a line of clothing for all ages. I remember growing up and feeling sad never fitting into those lines.

I steal songs from other shows ofc. Some like The Cleaning Song from Enchanted, Boinga from the Backyardigans, and Better Place from Trolls. And many more, they have real life adventures and fictional ones. The show is aimed at kids but has lessons and stuff for all ages. They do live shows/concerts sometimes.

It's fun and lighthearted, touches on serious topics while still keeping the appropriate tone.

The Better Place crew has a movie that has that theme where the characters are meant to go to one camp but they end up in another. It's circus themed and I added Firework by Katy Perry to that one kinda like Madagascar.

I also do some voice acting, still for kids shows.

Moving on!

In most of my DRs I script I have a best friend/brother named Isaac. We aren't blood related but are definitely platonic twin flames because we are insanely alike but not at the same time.

Isaac didn't have a good childhood at all and we met through a mental health program in high school.

He's into hockey and during the program we did dance together. He's a New Jersey Devil and is the most low-key out of all of them. We live together in a house, ofc I had to script my dream home.

The Devil's know he has a "sister" I often send them treats and go to games. They have never officially meet me until at a hockey activity, it's a sit down for the cameras to properly meet the players from different teams and their families.

That is usually the day that I script I shift to.

I don't have an exact SO for these DRs. For this one usually it's either Luke Hughes or Matt Rempe. Sometimes but not often Connor Berdard or Nico Hischier.

Doesn't change much. Luke knows how I look and Jack exposes him for thinking I'm cute during the whole activity. For Matt people think he's chirping me but really he does like me.

Overall this DR is calm. I film, practice, write, and enjoy the stuff I scripted around me.

[cryptid-juzou]

🪦🎃 Trick or Treat, pls 🎃🪦

🎃👻Your little 🍬treatie🍬 shall be a skk ficlet where Dazai does what he does best and gets on Chuuya's nerves, but what could his purpose for this be, I wonder 👻🎃

Chuuya ground his teeth together, looking at the clock for the third time in the last 20 minutes, time was moving at a crawl and he could feel a tension headache coming on from having his jaw clenched so tightly. That bastard, like usual, had no respect for timing. This was the third joint mission in the last six months that Dazai had been a pain to work with, always showing up late, talking in that infuriating sing-song way, taking nothing seriously.

Or at least appearing too, as much as he hates to admit it Dazai’s plans never failed to work out, he was always in control of the situation. So he knew that if Dazai was slacking off, he had already decided everything was going to work out exactly as he wanted it to. It was still a pain in the ass to have to wait around until Dazai deigned to arrive.

At the 30 minute mark, suspiciously close to being exactly 30 minutes late, Dazai finally walked through the door of the warehouse they were meeting in. Hands in his pockets, whistling his stupid lovers suicide song, Dazai stood by the far wall and made a theatrical show of looking around in all directions with a confused expression. Chuuya watched this for a bit before, predictably, losing his temper, “Hey, shitty Mackerel, we’re already running behind, what are you fucking looking for.”

Dazai made a big show of turning towards Chuuya, angling his head down and looking surprised, his eyes glittering with mischief as he said, “Oh, there you are! Chuuya is so small I didn’t see him, I thought he hadn’t arrived yet.” 

Chuuya shouldn’t have been surprised, but his quick temper meant he never had been able to stop himself reacting to Dazai’s many attempts to get under his skin. ‘Huhh!! What was that you walking waste of bandages!” Chuuya stomped over into Dazai’s space in a way that was meant to be intimidating, but of course to Dazai, wasn’t. He simply gave one of his infuriating bright but artificial smiles, further enraging Chuuya.

Chuuya’s face was flushed red with anger, his fingers twitching where his hands were in his pockets, itching to grab Dazai’s shirt front and drag him down to his level to yell at him properly. “You show up 30 minutes late, and the first thing you do is insult me! I should leave your lazy ass here and let your agency deal with the repercussions, this mission came from your side, not ours.”

Dazai grinned, his eyes sparkling the way they always did when he knew whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be enraging. “I know Chuuya’s brain is small to match his body, but surely even he knows that refusing to help is disobeying Mori’s orders.”

A distant part of Chuuya that hadn’t completely succumbed to irritation recognized that Dazai was being extra annoying today, he normally wasn’t quite as insufferable as to go for multiple height jokes in a row. But at this moment, he did not think too hard on this, could not, because all his energy was focused on being mad at Dazai, on doing something about the grin on his stupid smug face.

This time Chuuya did not hold himself back, his gloved hands pulling out of his pockets to fist in Dazai’s shirt front, dragging him closer to yell in his face, “Shut the fuck up about my height, bastard. It does get old. For someone so smart, you recycle a lot of the same old insults you know.”

Rather than try to escape Chuuya’s vice-like  grip, Dazai wrapped one bandaged hand around Chuuyas where it was still fisted in his shirt and leaned towards his ear. He lightly whispered, “If i'm so insufferable, then maybe Chuuya should put me in my place,” the warmth of Dazai’s breath on Chuuya’s skin making him shudder.

Dazai leaned back just enough to make eye contact, this close Chuuya could see flecks of varying shades of brown in his irises, and could see just how amused those eyes looked. He could also hear how Dazai’s breathing was slightly heavier than usual, Dazai leaned back just enough to look Chuuya in the eye and smirk.

Chuuya, exactly as Dazai had known he would do, fell for the very obvious bait. He used the grip he had on Dazai’s shirt to walk them the two steps over to the wall to forcefully push Dazai into it. Dazai's head bumped painfully into the wall, but he had no time to react before Chuuya’s lips were on his, taking advantage of his gasp of pain to lick roughly into his mouth. One hand unclenched from Dazai’s shirt and came up to tangle in his hair, tugging harshly to pull Dazai down to Chuuya’s level so he was no longer on his tiptoes. As always, Dazai got his way, and they were both about to be a lot later for their mission.

ask box trick-or-treat (fic writer edition)

[cbrownjc]

HOTD possible spoiler (as well as some Fire and Blood ones) under the cut:

The person who posted the initial rumor/leak/spoiler is clarifying/sticking to it.

I've already talked about my problems with how this show has handled its black characters here (wrt Laena) and here when this Nettles rumor/leak first happened a few days ago.

Honestly, if this rumor really is true, I will pretty much be done with the show. Because aside from the racist angle the show just falls right into by doing something like this, it's also just lazy AF writing.

If the show wanted to make Rhaena a more active participant in the war that very easily can be done without making her a dragon rider. They could have her play a bigger role in helping in the survival of her family members, seeing that she, her sister, and her two little half-brothers are the only ones who do so (along with Corlys). Let her become the more politically savvy twin, using her status as a princess and such to form alliances, keep the Vale on the side of The Blacks, and things like that. Maybe even leading up to things like having her take the lead in ensuring that Corlys doesn't get executed for treason after the war is over.

But nope. Just make her a dragon rider during the conflict too. And hey, since she's black now, just have her replace the only book-canon black character in the story of the Dance, who was already speculated by some to be Daemon's bastard daughter anyway. Because all black people are just interchangeable anyway, right? 🙄 (That is if we're even bothering to give them character and story arcs in the first place; especially in comparison to their originally white book counterparts *cough*Laena*cough*).

So yeah, NGL I was already growing apathetic about the show before this, given how Leana, Rhaena, and Baela's characters were all handled in Season 1. Cutting out Nettles and just having Rhaena take her place? When the two characters are nothing alike, personality-wise?

Yeah, if this really is true then no thank you. I'll check out clips of the big moments -- Rook's Rest, Blood and Cheese, and whenever The Battle Above the God's Eye happens in some later season -- on YouTube or something. But actively watch episodes in full? Nope.

Again, I'll wait to full-out rant on this when it's 100% confirmed in some way. (And yes, such a rant very likely would include talking about how color-conscious casting & writing > > > > > > color-blind casting & writing; and using that to properly world build -- because yes that is possible even wrt a fantasy world like Westeros, which already has established places in its world where black people prominently lived and originated from.) Maybe waiting to do so is just me being in denial, IDK. But I'm kind of having deja vu wrt how I felt about the rumors circulating about Season 8 of GOT again. I just couldn't believe the writers were going to be that level of hack-lazy. And yet . . . .

I really had hopes that HBO had learned from that mistake and that the writing team and showrunners for this show wouldn't do something similar. But ever since I saw what happened to Laena's character, (and how her role in Rhaenrya's life -- when they were young -- was basically given to Alicent), I've been questioning if they really have . . . . or ever did. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[mad2001-4]

Tenth installment of Madkyra screams into the void

Got to thinking about the toxic aspects of the Demon Bros with their cherubs and I've fallen low-key in love! Because in it I also explored that through the less-than-stellar aspects, there's also genuine care.

Lucifer is doting but controlling to the nth degree. In his eyes, Cael's still a child and can't care for himself. He's Lucifer's responsibility and who can care for his sweet bundle better than Lucifer himself? Bottom line: Lucifer knows best for Cael, even more than Cael himself. However, the smothering comes from a genuine place of love and care, and it's obvious too as Lucifer treats Cael like the sweetest, most sacred (and fragile) treasure in the whole Devildom.

Mammon is more than ok with exploiting Adelio, if it earns more Grimm. Who wouldn't want to have a cute, harmless picture of his cherub?? And Adelio will go along, always roped into Mammon's schemes, even ending up in some uncomfortable situations at best, and dangerous at worst. But for all the exploitation, Mammon will be there in a heartbeat, scooping Adelio up when his eyes flutter while he's standing upright. He can be clueless, he can be greedy, but Adelio is still his baby through and through.

The chaos duo, the ones that made me explore these aspects in the first place. Zelos is an entitled brat, claiming Leviathan's space as his own with no warning. This, naturally, annoys Levi to no end. I imagine its fairly often to hear them down the hall. Levi telling Zelos to get out, Zelos ignoring him, the threats, the name calling, it can be brutal yet, mere minutes later the shouting stops and you'll find Zelos sat on the floor, curled up against Leviathan's gaming chair while Levi plays, both quietly commenting on the newest anime they watched like they weren't bickering literally minutes before.

With Satan and Sirius, you get a lot of loud screaming. Satan using full, angry sentences and scoldings while Sirius's is just noisy shrieking, half sentences, and choppy words. They're both meant to be wrathful beings at their core and it doesn't take much to rile them up. However, the moment the yelling becomes frustrated, crybaby tears from Sirius, Satan's trying to level his tone. He doesn't want to see his baby cry.

Being a demon who thinks beauty is everything, its no surprise to hear Asmo correcting Samson's figure or posture. And Samson (who lives on compliments) sulks about it. On that same breath, however, I can see Asmo cooing and fussing over Samson as he is the 'cutest little cherub in all three realms!'.

Beel I feel enables Famine. I've mentioned a few times now that even Obey Me Famine uses weed and I don't think Beel stops him. He doesn't want to upset Famine, doesn't want to be the bad guy. But, what he will do is limit him. He can tell when Famine's had enough and will intervene when he's too stoned to properly complain, and further more, hes sitting there, making sure his baby's safe through the giggly high.

Being the youngest of the avatars, Belphie is used to getting what he wants. This is no exception to Nocturn. Sometimes, Belphie doesn't mind what his cherub does, sleeping it away, but other times Nocturn is stuck doing whatever it is Belphie wants to, just because he said so. I'd say its no surprising instance to find Nocturn whining and squirming, trying to get out of Belphie's arms, but hes trapped as his caretaker's stuffed animal.... and eventually, Nocturn does pass out too.

Bonus Content:

Raphael is overbearingly protective of Hadriel, he may as well still be in nursery school. Hadriel will cry and say its embarrassing, but the truth is Hadriel would crumble under any other kind of care. He's a sensitive little soul and needs the extra care.

Michael, in cannon of Obey Me, has been described as 'lazy' and 'childish' (if I'm not wrong) and while I don't picture him as literally acting like a kid, he also allows himself to slack off. And when he does, his responsibilities tend to fall back on his cherub, Saint. This leaves Saint overworked, stressed out with so much on his shoulders as fourth in charge of all of Heaven. However, even despite the unfair balance of work Saint is still Michael's gift from their Father and he treasures him more than anything. Michael will be the first to carry him to bed when he falls asleep somewhere besides one of their rooms.

[lasi-nariyoyoreads]

Hello, it's me... A Twice stan hahaha

I wanted to ask for a reading for Sana's personality. If this is okay~~

I hope you're doing well. Wishing you well :)

Sana's personality according to tarots

Hi! I'm okay, how are you? Are you enjoying the comeback?

Disclaimer:

My readings are made for fun and you should read them for fun too. So don't take them seriously.

Core aspect of her personality:

strength

This card in the tarots is usually represented as a woman who pets a lion, so it doesn’t refer to brutal power, but to courage, determination, patience.

Sana might be a “strong” person, someone who is always positive even while facing hardships.

She might be someone that fights for what she wants, but also someone able to bring a positive influence to others, encourage them, even guide them.

She is good at relating with people, who look up to her and respect her a lot.

What does she think about herself?

rev magician , rev the world, 8 of swords

She might think she’s greedy or someone able to manipulate others. We know it’s easy for her to befriend others, so she might consider this as some sort of tool she can use when necessary?

She feels lacking. 

If it’s from a professional point of view, there might be a lot of things she wants to try or she isn’t satisfied with her current level of success/skills, so she wants “more”.

If it’s from a private point of view, she might feel something lacks in her relationships, either a real important union, or simply she feels she doesn’t have enough time to take care properly of her loved ones.

She might feel trapped in her current position, she would like to try new things maybe or she would like to express herself more freely.

Linking all these cards together, it feels as if she believes she should be happy and satisfied, but she isn’t and she considers this dissatisfaction as something negative, as “greed”.

What do they think about her?

ace of cups, rev ace of swords, rev lovers

Ace of cups is a very romantic card, so it can imply people might actually have romantic feelings for her or they generally have a soft spot for her or they might see her as a source of love and affection.

However, others consider her as someone who lacks ideas and originality, like “she’s always doing the same thing”, as if there’s no evolution or no clear plans about her future.

Others might think there’s an imbalance in her life, like her emotions might be a bit all over the place or they consider her as someone who lacks organization.

Positive traits:

rev 2 of swords, 8 of swords, 10 of swords

She’s cautious, even in the most stressful situations, you can trust her to not lose her mind.

She is someone who keeps looking for answers, solutions etc. She doesn’t give up.

You could say she’s a positive person, not just in a “yay I’m happy!” way, but above all in a “I believe it can go well”, an attitude that might be a good influence for the people around her.

Resilience is the right word to describe it. No matter what people say or think, no matter how bad the situation is, she has the type of mindset that doesn’t give up.

I think she also makes for a good friend that gives good advice. If a friend sees no ways out, she might probably be able to either find a solution or to give them hope.

Negative traits:

rev king of swords, rev page of pentacles, rev the sun

She might have a hard time to follow a routine and keep a regular schedule.

She might be the type who loses her sh1t when she’s angry, she might get very emotional.

She can be immature and childish, lazy, she might lack a real goal or miss opportunities.

She might have mood swings like feeling very enthusiastic about something or very negative about something else, or in general she might have very strong opinions and it's hard to make her change her mind. If you gave her a negative impression, it's hard for her to see you in a different light.

In general, I’d say she has a certain chaotic energy because she’s an emotional person.

[thyrup]

CW: Suggestive, not smut

..........................................

"We've been thinking," Geto began casually.

"About what you told us last week," Gojo finished with more enthusiasm.

You frowned, nonplussed, "What did I tell you last week?"

"About how you've never had an orgasm."

You snorted, "Don't you have better things to think about?"

Neither of them laughed back.

"Why are you guys being so weird about that?"

"It's so sad," Gojo taunted from his place slumped against the arm of the couch. His stare cut into you, even through his blindfold. "You should let us help you."

You choked. Whatever you had been expecting, that wasn't it.

"W-what?"

"C'mon," Gojo cajoled, "Bet we could do it. Bet we could make you cum with just our fingers."

You looked desperately to Geto, the practical one, the level-headed one.

He shrugged, "I prefer to use my tongue."

"You guys can't be serious."

"Why not?" Gojo was sitting up properly now, leaning in close.

You leaned back instinctually, only to feel Geto against your back.

You had seen them work in tandem like this countless time before - picking out a girl in the bar and circling like wolves to separate her from her friends, whispering sweet nothings until she walked out of the bar drunk on their attention. You'd seen it, but you'd never had the full power of that intoxicating attention turned on you before.

"I-"

Geto cut in before you could voice your concerns, "I know the dirty stories you and Shoko send back and forth. Don't you want to know what it's like? Experience it for yourself instead of just reading about it?"

It was rare you were flustered around your longtime friends, but you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

"Y'do," Gojo pressed, "I know you do."

When you whipped back around to face him, he hooked a finger in his blindfold and pulled it down around his neck. It was impossible to lie when faced with the infinite facets of those blue eyes; they would see right through you.

"O-okay."

The word was barely there, barely out of your mouth, when Gojo pushed forward, swallowing the last syllable.

Geto shifted, turning on the couch and pulling you into his lap. Gojo followed, chasing your lips with his.

It was immediately too much. Geto's cologne, something deep and woodsy, enveloped you while his too-big hands ran down your arms. Gojo's knee pushed between your thighs, his arms caging you in against Geto's chest.

Suddenly, Gojo was gone. Geto threaded his fingers into the white locks and pulled the other man back with a sharp tug. Gojo was looking over your head, at Geto, but the gleam in his eyes made your stomach tighten all the same.

"Slow down," Geto warned, his voice soft and lazy and no less of a command.

"'S hard," Gojo whined, "She's so sweet. Go on, you try."

Gojo fell back on his haunches to watch as Geto tangled his hand in your hair instead, turning your head enough to meet his steady gaze. Without thinking, you lifted your chin and parted your lips, inviting him to kiss you.

The smile that spread across Geto's face sent warmth fluttering through you. You wanted to please him. Wanted him to give you that warm, doting smile again.

His lips slotted over yours, more purposefully than Gojo's had, quickly coaxing you to open up for him, to allow his tongue to press into you.

"I'm gonna take your pants off, 'kay?"

You moaned into Geto's mouth in response to Gojo's question, lifting your hips in aid and invitation.

"Fuck, Geto, you've gotta see these."

Languidly, Geto pulled away, leaving you panting, to see what Gojo had uncovered.

Gojo slid a finger into the waistband of your lacy panties, letting them snap against your skin.

Geto didn't need to speak, you could feel his approval stirring against your lower back.

"D'ya think she matched for us?" Gojo said excitedly, plucking at the hem of your shirt.

"Well?" Geto pressed, taking the hem from Gojo and dragging your shirt up your torso.

Dazed you nodded, then shook your head furiously.

Gojo laughed, "Which is it?"

"They match," you muttered, "But it wasn't for you."

"Don't be stupid," Geto chided from over your head, musing your hair as he tugged off your shirt, "It's all for us." 

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Parsley Cookie quotes

Gacha Pre-Pull: "I-I can't calm down..."

Gacha: "Oops, it's just me...."

Wish: I-I hope this is enough....

Loading Screen/Swapped to in Party (5 lines): "I-I won't run away....Not this time!" "I-I got this....I got this....I got this...." "For Her Radiance and her kingdom....!" "I-I'm not scared.....OK, I'm not THAT scared....!" "I won't let you take what's hers!"

Skill: "Get....LOST...!"

Victory (3 lines): "Phew.....It's over....." "I actually did it....H-holy crap...." "I've been....blessed again...."

Defeat (3 lines): "No....No, not like this....!" "This is all my fault...." *sounding like I'm crying* "I-I'm so s-sorry....." *hic*

Promotion: 1. "I-I promise, I'll try to be better...." 2. "Sometimes, I worry about whether I really deserve this...." 3. "Some days are harder than others...." 4. "I've found my one true paradise..." 5. "When you're loyal to something, it's a wonderful feeling...!" 1A. "Self-improvement can only happen with baby steps." 2A. "My loyalty is my greed..." 3A. "The lonely days feel so long ago now...." 4A. "There's still more I could do..." 5A. "I gave my heart and soul to Her Radiance...."

Level Up (8 lines): "Wooooww...so sweet...!" "I can't get lazy...There's still more I can do to help!" "Before I found my home, I was weak...and I'm still a bit weak..." "Is it OK if I give some of this to Her Radiance?" "*yawn* I'm gonna sleep like a baby tonight..." "Heheh, wow, that's got a kick to it..." "Mr. Smoked Cheese will eat his words about me soon enough..." "Careful, or I might start bugging you for more, heheh..."

In Kingdom (11 lines): "O-oh, uh....hi....?" "P-please don't touch me....!" "*humming*" "Everything has to be shiny as new..." "The Cheesebirds are better at talking than I am, heheh..." "I-I'm rocking too hard? Oh...s-sorry...I do that when I'm deep in thought...!" "F-feels weird, not seeing any gold anywhere..." "Um, e-excuse me...?" "Cake Hounds are just the cutest, aren't they?" "I-it's so loud out here..." "More...She wants more..."

Cookie Info (10 lines): "Oops, it's just me..." "My greed? Well...i-it's just to serve my queen..." "Hmmm...maybe, I can write a new song..." "Mr. Smoked Cheese never smiles at me..." "She told me I'm hers...always...No matter what..." "I-I'm Parsley Cookie, the newest subject of Queen Golden Cheese Cookie!" "I-I'm not as bitter as I look, trust me..." "I-I know I don't fit in...but Her Radiance says she doesn't mind..." "Loyalty is a powerful force, y'know? It makes you feel invincible..." "Sorry...I've always spoken like this, heh..." "I finally found where I belong..."

Interaction with Golden Cheese: Parsley: Eep! Y-Your Radiance! Golden Cheese: Why, hello, my subject! Are you well? Parsley: Mhm, y-yup! And I've just finished my errands for the day, and I-I checked in with the Cheesebirds, and- Golden Cheese: When was the last time you slept? Parsley: ...O-oh, uh...I... Golden Cheese: Go get some rest, little one. Your Queen will be here when you wake up!

Interaction with Smoked Cheese: Smoked Cheese: You'll never learn, will you? Parsley: N-never learn what...? Smoked Cheese: You'll never learn how to properly defend yourself. Smoked Cheese: Still following orders without a thought of your own... Smoked Cheese: If Her Radiance ever is not around, you will fail her. Parsley: ....

[rainbowsky]

Ok I am the turtle who asked about the breakup cpn, with the kadien and things. I have been told that is rude and hurtful and im sorry Mr Rbs, I do not want to cause you stress. I follow cuz I am autistic and I like that you are too but autistics still rub each others fur the wrong way sometimes just like anybody so im sorry if I did that. Have a great day and stay healthy and may YiZhan stay happily married and one day get to safely come out if they want!

...

I don't even know what to say to this.

Who told you that it was 'rude' and 'hurtful'? It certainly wasn't me. I don't have a problem with people asking me honest questions that are in good faith. I answer all kinds of asks, regardless of my reaction to them.

I'm sure whoever said that to you meant well, but I don't want anyone putting words in my mouth. Whatever they said to you, that was their own perspective.

As for your ask, it actually did annoy me a bit, but not because there was anything rude or hurtful about it. I was annoyed because it contained things that are long-standing sources of annoyance for me (which isn't your fault).

First of all, you said "I know you don't believe kadian" which - honestly I've heard people say this before and I find it frustrating. I literally have a whole post that is prominently placed on my masterlist post, where I state pretty clearly that kadian is real. So when people say things like this it feels like they aren't paying any attention and are just making assumptions about me, or else they have poor reading comprehension.

I'm going to be really clear about this:

Being skeptical is not the same thing as being dismissive.

I am skeptical about a lot of candy and CPN, but that doesn't mean I don't buy candy and CPN. It just means that the candy and CPN I do buy is stuff I genuinely believe in - not because it's cute or makes me feel good (nothing wrong with that, but it's not what gets me excited), but rather because I've evaluated it and I feel (based on my own criteria) that it's well substantiated and real.

Contrary to another popular myth about me that also frustrates me (the ridiculous idea that I don't buy CPN and candy) - a huge percentage of my blog is devoted to CPN and candy, and in fact I think CPN and candy are pretty critical to turtledom.

I say this all the time and I hope it will sink in: it's never wise to paint with too broad a brush. Nuance, people. Not everything is black and white. Most things are grey. Just because I seem like a doubter on a lot of things, doesn't mean I don't have my own CPN, and doesn't mean I don't hold a lot of candy close to my heart, much of which I think is important and unwashable.

It seems like some people see a personality trait in someone and then try to extrapolate it across everything about them. Not only is it inaccurate, frankly it betrays a certain level of intellectual laziness. "Oh, here's the funny guy, everything's a joke to him." "Oh, here's the serious guy, he has no sense of humor." "Oh, here's the cutesy girl, she won't like this scary movie."

People are complex and often contradictory creatures. We shouldn't assume we have a read on someone just because we've picked up on a few of their character traits.

As for kadian - in my post about kadian I went to some pains to show that kadian is real, so I don't get why there's anyone out there who would think I don't 'believe' in it. In reality I think people who don't 'believe' in kadian as a concept are uninformed and out of touch. 'Not believing' in kadian would be like 'not believing' in slang acronyms like LOL and OMG.

Back to that 'broad brush' thing I just said - just because kadian is real, that doesn't mean a particular perceived kadian is real and intentionally placed. These things have to be examined in context in order to be properly evaluated.

You can refer back to my kadian post for all that.

On to the other, bigger reason your ask frustrated me.

Just Say No To The Turtle Binary

Your ask was about a 'kadian' you thought you saw in DD's post about being sick, and you felt it was evidence of a breakup.

Without realizing it, you stepped into something that bugs me about the fandom.

If you've been following me for any amount of time at all, you will know that one of my absolute pet peeves in this fandom is when turtles take everything GG and DD say or do as being deeply significant to their relationship. As I've said before -

👉🏻 almost nothing from or about GG or DD will actually be a candy. 👈🏻

I think the key to respecting and honoring their humanity is to love them as individuals first and foremost, and as a couple second. When we fixate entirely on their relationship we end up accidentally dehumanizing them and failing to recognize, respect and celebrate their individual achievements.

There are a lot of turtles in this fandom who take every single thing GG and DD do as either proof they are together, or else proof they are not together. And frankly, that doesn't make any rational sense.

If you've ever been in a long term relationship - or a relationship of any kind, whether family or friends - you should already know that almost nothing in our daily lives is about that relationship. Our day-to-day lives tend to revolve around work, school, hobbies and interests, other social interests and obligations. Almost nothing we do in our day to day lives is about any one particular relationship.

Just look at my own blog here. How often do I mention my partner? Almost never. But we've been married for years, and he's the most important person in my life. Why don't I mention him more? Because my life doesn't revolve around him.

GG and DD are no different. They are real, non-fictional human beings with busy lives and successful careers, and they have a ton of obligations and focuses and pursuits in their daily lives. Almost none of it is about each other. Why, then, would people be so ready to think that every post, every gesture, every clothing option, every decision, every goal is about each other?

Not only is that absurd just on the face of it, it's also absurd when you consider that the vast majority of things that ARE related to their relationship will never be made public for you and I to see.

Their lives are almost entirely focused on their careers. They work hard, they have packed schedules. They no doubt spend a lot of time connected to each other behind the scenes, via texts, video chat, etc. but most of their time will be taken up with their work, and with meetings and discussions with various handlers and brands and management and other career-related contacts.

It's going to be rare for us to catch a glimpse of something related to each other, because such things are going to be rare in their daily lives and in most cases shared privately.

So I am deeply dismayed when DD can't even call in sick without people assuming a break-up. It's not right. My god, let the man be sick for a day.

When it comes to kadian we need to remember that the context is actually more important than the numbers. What is the likelihood that any particular message is about something to do with their relationship? What is the likelihood that something important is going to be discussed or disclosed in that particular venue or format? What is the likelihood that GG and DD are going to send out key messages about their personal and private relationship in the timing of a Head and Shoulders ad?

DD is in the middle of promoting his new film, which - at the time - was just days away from being released. Can you honestly believe for one hot second that he's going to pick that time - of all the times in the world - to dicker around with cryptic, deeply consequential messages about his relationship? Consider his priorities, here. Consider the context and venue.

And have some empathy for the sick guy who was just trying to quell rumors that were flying about him.

When we evaluate anything they are saying or doing, we should be kind and empathetic about it, and on their side.

There were a lot of anti messages going around when he called in sick that day. People had all sorts of nasty theories about why he called in sick, including a theory that he was trying to generate sympathy to boost ticket sales.

Imagine that. Imagine if calling in sick to work made that big of an impact on your life and reputation? NO PRESSURE.

Like, woah. No wonder the guy never takes any time off anymore. No wonder he pushes through when he's got a sprained ankle or is practically falling over from exhaustion. The man can't take a day off without all hell breaking loose.

I expect that kind of thing from antis, but not from turtles. It's very disappointing.

A final note:

Another important thing I want people to fully understand and accept:

My failure to answer an ask is no commentary whatsoever on what I thought about that ask or about that person.

Anyone who has been following me for any amount of time at all should know that. I answer as many asks that annoy me as I do ones that make me laugh, smile or reflect.

In reality, if I don't answer your ask it's 99.9% of the time for one of these reasons:

I don't have time - I've been incredibly busy lately and have had very little time on Tumblr. Most of that time is spent scrambling to keep up with the content GG and DD and turtles have been releasing/discussing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this is pretty much always the reason I haven't answered an ask.

It's something I have already thoroughly covered, which can be found easily by doing even the barest search of my blog or browsing through my masterlist post. Given how little time I have for Tumblr, I'm not likely to spend much of it repeating myself.

It's a complicated question that will take a lot of time to answer, so the question ended up in my drafts folder as I pick away at it over weeks and months. My drafts folder is almost as backlogged as my inbox.

IT WAS NOT A QUESTION. I get quite a few of these. I've said this many times - my inbox is for questions.

Of course, anti BS, hate asks, etc. don't see the light of day, either, but that goes without saying.

If you've asked a question in good faith and it's not been answered, it's for one of the top 3 reasons on the list.

So, Anon, I found your ask frustrating, but I didn't find it 'rude' or 'hurtful'. And even though I found it frustrating, I didn't hold it against you because I know that approach is common among turtles. It's just a fairly standard part of the fandom that - while frustrating - I've more or less accepted as 'the way things are'.

So, no hard feelings. You didn't do anything wrong AFAIAC. I think you might want to do a bit more critical thinking than seems evident based on what you sent me, but you weren't rude or hurtful.

And to be clear, Anon: most of what I'm saying in this post isn't aimed at you. Like I said, I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about a couple of things, and you were unfortunate enough to accidentally stumble across it. I definitely don't hold anything against you.