#i'm tempted to draw this out but also i know i probably don't have the motivation lol

[tadc-incorrectquotes]

Gangle: Hey Ragatha, you got anything to drink?

Ragatha: Yeah. In the fridge.

Pomni: Hey Gangle, um, grab me a glass of malk.

Gangle: They don't have any malk, but I can get you some milk.

Ragatha: That's what she just said.

Pomni: Yeah, I just want some malk.

Gangle: Well, you're saying "MALK," like it's a disease.

Ragatha: How do YOU say it?

Gangle: I'm saying it the way everyone oughta say it. "Milk," M-I-L-K.

Ragatha: Yeah, like two percent.

Pomni: Yeah, whole malk.

Gangle: No no no no no, say "milkshake."

Pomni: Milkshake.

Gangle: Okay, now say "milk."

Pomni: Malk.

Gangle: Are you hearing this?

Ragatha: Yeah. The woman wants a glass of mulk.

Gangle: MULK?

Ragatha: GIVE HER THE MULK, GANGLE!

Caine: (spawns in) RAGATHA!!! Inside voices, please.

Ragatha: Sorry, Caine. My digital friends.

Pomni: GANGLE! POUR ME! A GLASS! OF MALK!

(Gangle's comedy mask breaks.)

Gangle: Why are you yelling at me?

Ragatha: JUST GIVE HER THE FREAKING MULK!

Gangle: YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN SAYING THE SAME THING!

Pomni: WE'RE ALL SAYING "MALK," GANGLE.

Gangle: NO, YOU'RE SAYING "MALK." YOU'RE SAYING—

Pomni and Ragatha: MALLLLLLK MULLLLLLLLLMAAAAAAA MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU—

Gangle: (holds a gun to her head) SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Ragatha: (holds another gun to Gangle's head) BETTER PUT IT DOWN, GANGLE!

Pomni: (also holds a gun to Gangle's head) DON'T DO IT, GANGLE.

Gangle: YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO SHOOT ME IF I SHOOT MYSELF?!

...

(Loud screaming.)

[klausysworld]

Can you do a story where reader has been bullied her whole life from Caroline and she’s always been the second choice, since klaus came into town she’s always had a crush on him and he knew about it , when the ball came around and klaus took Caroline instead of yn she was really upset and Caroline could see that and humiliates her infront of everyone including klaus and klaus goes after her and comforts her you can choose what happens after thank you sm!!

I Could Never Compete

Caroline had always made a point of being better than me.

Whether it was turning my friends against me, taking cheer captain from me or stealing Tyler, my boyfriend from me. The worst part wasn't even that she did those things but that she did them just so she could publicly make fun of me for them.

"I mean, what are you even gonna do during the summer? It's not like she have any friends left." She'd make sure to say loud enough for Elena and Bonnie to hear, making them stare right at me. She told Elena that I tried to make-out with Matt whilst they were together and she told Bonnie that I was making fun of her for being abandoned by her mother. Neither were true, at all but I couldn't exactly prove it and Caroline only had to tell the lie to a few other people before everyone was believing it.

"Please, you've let yourself go. That's why you can't be captain anymore, just look at yourself. The whole squad knows it." She'd tell me in front of all the girls on the team and trying out for the team. It made me angry because I knew I was actually better than her in this but she made everyone think I was useless. I had been training years more than her, a hundred times harder. My diet was to make sure I could compete in cheer and dance, ballet specifically which she also had to get into and when we were little she pushed me over so my ankle was hurt and she could do swan lake instead of me.

"You didn't really think that someone could love you? Even like you when I'm in the picture? Tyler's stupid but he's not that thick. He has eyes and he has a dick and he knows what's better for both. I bet he didn't even want to touch you, you ugly pig." She spat. We were at a party and Tyler had tried to apologise to me but she cut in. Everyone went silent and watched as my face went red and my eyes blurred with tears. It was Stefan that lead me away, it was at his house after all. But I think he was the first person to imply that he didn't believe all of the things said about me and he told me that Elena had questioned the rumours to him. I should have been relieved that someone believed me but the effects had already happened and the truth probably wouldn't make my life any easier at that point so I just thanked him and went home.

I don't really know why I thought Klaus would be different, maybe because she already had Tyler and that should've been enough? Of course not.

But I didn't expect it from Klaus. He's over a thousand and surely much more mature than a teenage boy tempted by another girl. It hurt me when Tyler cheated, obviously it did, however I could make sense of that. I couldn't make sense of what Caroline could have said or done to make Klaus switch up so easily.

Especially with how he'd been.

I hadn't really loved Tyler but I think that I had actually fallen for Klaus. It wasn't just the drawings and the priceless gifts, but it was the way he looked at me and the softness he spoke with that he never seemed to use with anyone else. His touch was always just right, even when he was getting rough he was never forceful like Tyler got. He still knew not to grab too harsh or push too hard. There was something natural about being with him which made everything seem so effortless.

I guess I noticed him being a little different when his family was undaggered and awake but that was expected with the amount of stress he was under. Still, he had mentioned me meeting his mother and even told me about the ball.

There was no reason I wouldn't have gone.

I didn't have as much money as Caroline and Elena and Bonnie with their lovely big houses and hundreds of outfits. I wasn't struggling as bad as Matt anymore but I wasn't exactly stable either.

Which meant that getting a dress to be able to go to the ball and feel comfortable was really difficult for me but I made sure I did it so that I wouldn't embarrass him or myself in front of his family. I made sure not to eat the day before and the day of so that there was zero chance of bloating and I spent hours making sure I was ready before paying a taxi to take me.

I think I probably should have known something wasn't quite right when Klaus didn't even offer me a dress. Not in an entitled way but just because it was unusual for him not to. He told me he enjoyed knowing he had provided those nice things for me and that he liked knowing he was the reason for the smile on my face.

Again, the entire situation was so huge for him that I didn't expect things like that.

But I also didn't expect to walk in through those double doors and see his hand cupping her face and her gloved hands in his chest.

I could feel the lump in my throat forming, my heart racing and the humiliation already hitting.

Caroline turned her head, the loose pieces of curled hair swaying beautifully beside her face as she looked right at me, cruel smile on her lips and sadistic glint in her eyes. Klaus was still looking at her, probably admiring how the blue of the dress complimented her hair and eyes.

It was in that moment that everything she had ever called me felt real. I felt ugly, I felt cheap, I felt fat. I wanted my skin to peel off and reveal a completely different person, someone who could actually compete with Caroline's beauty.

I took a step back, ready to retreat home but I bumped into someone with a tray of champagne making the glass smash everywhere. I felt a piece dig into my ankle and it prompted a tear that was already waiting in my eye to finally cascade down my face.

When I glanced back up Klaus was hurrying toward me, his eyes holding that softness as both his hands went to my shoulders. I caught feel my breathe catching in my throat, barely escaping my chest as he tried to say something.

Caroline's hand was on his arm, pulling his hand away from me as she let out an amused scoff. "God. You literally can't get any more pathetic Y/N." She told me, her eyes scanning me over making her raise an unimpressed brow. "Ew." She stated simply. "Could have at least made an effort, no wonder he wants me-"

"Don't listen to a word out of her. Come on, love, we'll go upstairs and-" He tried to cut in but Caroline wasn't having it.

"Don't hush me. You invited me here. You gave me everything I'm wearing and you practically promised to help me take it off later." Caroline spat and I couldn't stop the cry that bubbled from my mouth. It physically hurt.

"Y/N!" I heard him yell but I wasn't there, I was outside, my heels in my hands as I went barefoot whilst running down the concrete. My breathing was fast and I refused to look back but that didn't stop him from appearing in front of me, his arms holding my against his chest as I tried to shove him off. "Please, love, please." He whispered, his tight firm so I couldn't move making me relent and just cry in his hold instead. My legs went and he was knelt on the cold floor, holding my up so the soles of my feet weren't still pressed against the tiny stones and chunks of dirt.

"Why would you bring her and not me?" I sobbed into his chest and his hands gripped me firmly.

"My mother had me invite her...I didn't imply it being anything other than platonic-"

"You gave her a dress and you held her face. You want her!" I yelled at him but he just wouldn't admit it.

"We're going to your house and I'm going to fix this, love." He told me, standing up and adjusting his hold on me before we were inside my house a second or two later.

He put me down and I was heading up stairs immediately but he was pulling me back and pleading me to sit down.

"I want out of this stupid dress, Klaus. I want it off, I want to burn it." I sniffed, my hand messily wiping the tear from my face.

"It's a beautiful dress." He whispered, his hands holding my waist so I couldn't leave. I looked up at him, his eyes as sad as mine as he leaned down to kiss my cheek and the corner of my mouth. "I shouldn't have invited her, I should have told my mother no. I should have sent you a dress and I should have picked you up myself. I'm sorry, I promise you that I'm sorry." He uttered, his hands sliding up to my face.

"I don't care that you didn't spend your stupid money on me." I whimpered and he looked down for a second.

"I know...I know, but I was going to and I didn't. I know it wouldn't have been easy for you to-"

"I handled it just fine. I got a dress and I got there, all you had to do was be there for me and you weren't, you were there with and for her."

"I wasn't. I don't want her, I don't ever even talk to her. I love you, you have to know that." His head was shaking as he spoke and his eyes were flickering between blue and gold.

"I can't compete with Caroline, Klaus, you know that." I whispered and his hand rested on the back of my head, pulling me close so our foreheads were touching.

"There is no competition. There never was and there never will be. You're mine, and I'm yours. We're gonna go upstairs and lay down and we'll stay there until you feel better, okay?" He murmured, pulling me along with him making me stumble at the reminder of the splinters in my skin and the glass by my ankle. "Fuck. Okay, c'mere." He mumbled, picking me back up and taking me up the stairs and putting me down on the bed.

"Laying here isn't going to make anything better, Klaus." I sighed, trying to ignore the pain as he grabbed the tweezers from my drawer and cleaned me up.

"Then we'll go somewhere, we'll go to Europe and I'll take you to France and Greece and Spain- Italy!" He listed, clearly getting more and more stressed as he bit his hand and let the blood drip into a glass of water, his finger swirled it round before he was urging me to drink it, holding my legs in his hands to watch the wounds disappear.

"I don't care about those places, I just cared about you." I sniffled and he frowned, laying down beside me and pulling me onto him.

"You still care about me now. I know you do and some stupid girl isn't ruining that. I don't love often but I love you and you're not going anywhere." He stated, no room for argument as his tone got colder.

His eyes resoftened when he looked back at me and he just wouldn't let go of me until I told him it was okay.

I wondered if it had been any other girl, if I would have felt as bad as I did now. Was there something wrong with me? Or was Caroline just that perfect?

[aihoshiino]

chapter 166 thoughts

As of chapter 166, Oshi no Ko has finished a roughly four-and-a-half year run started back in 2020. While there's some speculation about an epilogue or some extra content in volume 16 when it drops, this is where the main story ends. And you know what that means!!!

OSHI NO KO HAS OFFICIALLY ENDED WITHOUT ADDRESSING OR ACKNOWLEDGING THE FACT THAT RUBY KISSED HER BROTHER IN CHAPTER 143

please understand that this is FUCKING BOGUS

I'll probably do a longer post on this subject specifically, but my main critique of 143 when the chapter dropped was that while I liked the individual beats in it and I was really glad to see Akasaka finally addressing this tension bubbling underneath Aqua and Ruby's relationship, the immediate swerve away from showing us the aftermath of that kiss felt to me like an admission that the story was going to needlessly draw this out even more. Now that the story has ended and we can see that moment had literally no impact on the plot or even the character dynamics, I'd like to revise that statement - it feels like an admission of compromise. It feels like crumbs thrown to AquRuby fans to tempt them to keep reading and to stir up the waters of the ship wars, so people would keep reading and stay invested in the manga right to the very end. But most of all, it feels deeply disrespectful to both Aqua and Ruby as characters. Rather than exploring their feelings and giving both of them interiority and complexity in relation to incest or even just fucking acknowledging that the kiss had happened and letting their dynamic evolve, the series just memory holes the entire event and asks that you do too. Rather than letting Ruby have any development whatsoever as pertains to that relationship or, god forbid, let a female character move on romantically from the male lead, the series ends with her feelings so up in the air that I literally could not tell you what she thinks of Aqua by the time he dies.

ANYWAY… FINAL CHAPTER. BREATHES OUT VERY HARD.

I really can't believe it's taken us until the final chapter to actually deal with Ruby's grief over Aqua lol. We got a snippet of it last chapter but it was so brief that it really just felt like a tease. I also just think it's kind of bizarre that we're spending this little time on Ruby having feelings about Aqua's death to the extent that I have no idea how or when she found out about it.

It's also kind of hard to feel particularly strongly about Ruby's grief when the chapter doesn't really bother to explore it all that much. It's just a montage of Ruby quite literally Screaming, Crying and Throwing Up while Akane dispassionately narrates it all. The art also doesn't really help in terms of connecting with the emotions at play - I usually really like Mengo's expression work and the way she depicts extreme emotions but this all just felt like of… I don't know how else to put it. Goofy??? Is that an insane thing to say about Ruby grieving her brother???

Idk, something about both the panelling and just the extreme on-the-noseness of Ruby, again, literally Screaming, Crying Throwing Up while she's wearing a Burning cosplay Just In Case You, The Audience, Didn't Get It only for her to abruptly be done crying with no exploration or insight as to what's going on in her head that allows her to move forward.

Honestly, this is kind of the issue with everyone in the cast. The resolution is just sort of "Aqua died and we were sad about it but then we stopped being sad". I know what the story is trying to go for here - it's trying to express that even when you're in pain, life goes on and so you have to find a way to go on with it. But the result is that we spend all this time oogling at their pain without spending equivalent or even meaningful time on their recovery process.

It feels both excessive and undercooked at the same time and I'm left with the same icky, voyeuristic feeling I got from Aqua's funeral last chapter. This should be the point in the story at which we empathize with Ruby the most, but she remains a frustratingly distant figure right to the final pages. Part of this is an unfortunate consequence of Akane's narration directing these final chapters meaning that we're hearing about Ruby from an outsider's perspective and thus don't really see what's going on in her head… but if I can be frank, this has been an issue of Aka's with Ruby in particular basically nonstop since chapter 123.

As others & myself have noted, despite the absolutely catastrophic downward spiral Ruby is in at that point, Aqua revealing himself as Gorou basically flips it all off like a switch. There's some mild lipservice paid to the idea that Ruby is just using her dependency on Gorou to prop herself up and it's pointed out that the issues that contributed to her breakdown haven't actually been resolved - but none of these issues are ever even acknowledged again, let alone resolved. So, functionally, that reveal does fix all Ruby's problems in the space of a single chapter and the result is, again, that we spend multiple chapters gourging on depictions of Ruby's absolute rock bottom only for her to ping back to normal like a lightswitch. As such, the depictions of her pain feel less like explorations of Ruby's interiority and more like voyeuristic oogling at Ruby's misery and trauma and the effect is that the resolution to it all is both unsatisfying and a little gross. The result is that it feels like Akasaka is just indulgently mining the imagery of cute girls suffering because it causes simple thoughts neuron activation but doesn't respect these girls enough as characters to build them back up.

It doesn't help that this is basically the in-universe excuse for Ruby's career further skyrocketing. Instead of Ruby becoming a star on her own merits as the story keeps insisting she was supposed to, she's artificially buoyed by the public's morbid fascination with her tragedy. If I was feeling charitable towards the story right now, I would say this is an avenue of intentional critique but… well, I don't feel super charitable about the story right now lol

I WILL say that the one part of this chapter I did just uncomplicatedly like was the beat of Mem trying to suspend activities (presumably in the wake of her grief for Aqua) only for Kana to basically immediately explode into her room and help her get back on her feet. It's a beat that would've been much more effective if we'd, you know, seen it, but I otherwise enjoyed it and I thought it was sweet.

But. pbbbbtttt. I guess I can't talk around it any longer… let's get into the Dome concert.

To start things off on the immediately worst note possible, Akane describes Ruby performing at the Dome as being 'everyone's dream', including Aqua's. I'm reminded once again of the strange turn the story took in insisting that um, actually, performing at the Dome was totes Ai's dream all along (even though she literally didn't give a shit even a week before she was due to perform there herself) so Ruby performing there is fulfilling that dream for her!!! and I can't help but wonder if this abrupt shift in focus is an attempt to make readers forget what Ai's actual dream was - to see her beloved children grow up happy and healthy. Hell, it wasn't even really Aqua's dream, until the story suddenly had to try and convince us that his entire purpose for existence was to kill himself so Ruby could be an idol for slightly longer than she would've otherwise. The only people whose dreams she's textually fulfilling are Ichigo and Miyako and Ruby herself, but…

Honestly, is this really Ruby's dream anymore?

Who is Hoshino Ruby? What does she want? Why does she want it? These should be the very least of what we can concretely say about not only a protagonist but a character who has become a central figure of the entire story as Ruby has, but with the way Oshi no Ko has warped and distorted her, I find myself increasingly unsure of what the story wants her to be or how I should answer those questions.What does Ruby feel about Aqua? Was she still in love with him? Had she moved on, romantically? Was she still waiting for a response to her confession? Did she finally realize it was probably kind of shitty to respond to her brother going "lowkey wanna kms" by sticking her tongue down his throat? I Guess We'll Never Know.

This extends to whatever the fuck Ruby's relationship with idols and being an idol is. Almost the entirety of Ruby's time in the story has been spent reiterating over and over that Ruby cannot just be an idol who imitates Ai and that to truly shine, she needs to step out of her mom's shadow and shine in her own way. Ruby even literally tells Kana in no uncertain terms in 137 - "I'll be a star in my own way. I won't be like Mama."

While this has always been the text of the story, as I've pointed out before, the actual art with which Ruby's idolhood depicts her basically just as Ai 2.0. It relies so heavily on mining the imagery of Ai's charisma and personality as an idol and using them as the measure of Ruby's success as an idol that Ruby essentially has no visual or conceptual identity of her own as an idol. She's just Ai, But Arbitrarily Better, For Reasons The Narrative Fails To Actually Establish But Hopes That You Just Accept Anyway. This was always kind of annoying, but now that friction seems to have been resolved by… just making her Ai 2.0, But Arbitrarily Better (etc, etc) in the text as well. The fact that we're given no further insight as to Ruby's feelings and continue to just have Akane Explain Ruby's Character Arc to the camera also doesn't help.

All this combines to make the Dome concert and the final few pages feel exceptionally cold in a way I really don't think was intended by Akasaka. Yes, that splash page was nice and flashy but… I just felt nothing. I have no idea if or why Ruby cares about this. And even though the Dome concert has been hyped up through the entire story as the peak of Ruby's achievements as an idol, I feel no sense of accomplishment in her finally being there - not just because her journey to it was basically sneezed at us across two panels, but because it just feels hollow as a victory lap for Ruby. Again, she feels so distant and abstracted as a character that I can't bring myself to feel very strongly about her good or bad.

I think the perfect encapsulation of this are the final four pages of the story. Ruby's words here are very clearly intended to be a callback to Ai's words to Gorou in chapter one but as @all-of-her-light pointed out in our initial discussions of the chapter, Ruby very much does not have an equivalent to Ai's conclusion that she nevertheless wants and values the opportunity to find personal happiness and fulfillment outside of being an idol. Are we supposed to believe that simply being an idol is all that Ruby needs to achieve a similar degree of happiness and fulfillment? Is there no more to her than that?

I've seen a lot of people interpret this ending as exceptionally bleak and, as usual, gleefully predicting Ruby's immanent suicide because her beloved oniichansensei isn't around but this is indulging in, if you'll allow me to be frank, some pretty transparently ship-motivated flanderization. Despite what certain sections of the fandom would like to believe, Aqua and Ruby's lives, past and current, have never revolved around each other to the exclusion of every other relationship in their life. Ruby has a massive support network of people who love and care for her and actively want her to get back on her feet. I can one hundred percent believe that she does not need Aqua in her life to be happy and content.

The issue is that we don't see enough of Ruby to understand that ourselves. Again, she has become such a distant figure with so little insight into what she's thinking and why that this ending is basically a Rorschach test in which you can interpret basically whatever the hell you want or assume because we have so little canon basis to support or debunk our assumptions.

and yes. don't think i didn't see them. it IS both grimly hilarious and weirdly tonally appropriate for this ending that ruby has a bunch of oshi goods of ai and aqua including their fucking autographs set up to say goodbye to every day.

AND…… WE'RE DONE!!! THAT'S OSHI NO KO, BABY!!!! well, technically, there's going to be a 20 page extra chapter in volume 16 but I don't see it being big or substantive enough to meaningfully change my feelings about the ending so… I guess we're leaving it here. Damn. Feels crazy to be done with it.

I'll probably do a bigger post down the line about my thoughts on the ending as a whole but in terms of just How This Chapter Made Me feel, I guess the word is just… meh! It's definitely not an ending I like and I think the execution is sloppy and rushed but I also just don't really have the energy to feel angry about it. Maybe that's sad in its own way but tbh… I still really love Oshi no Ko! I still find it engaging and I find the characters I enjoy rewarding to talk about. I like the artistry of the anime adaptation. I don't blame anybody else for being so turned off by this ending that they're done with the series but for me, I like what I like about OnK too much that this ending could retroactively ruin it for me. Whatever else happens with the OnK franchise, whatever directions the anime and live-action take, this will always be the series that gave me Ai and the Hoshino family and. look at me. look at what she's done to my brain. could I really ask for anything more than that?

That being said, I'm definitely not done with discussing the series! I have fics to write (including a VERY exciting large scale project lined up with some friends), my Ai analysis post to finish and I also want to do a re-read of the series and finish my anime rewatch. I'll be here to discuss Oshi no Ko as long as I have things to say about it and as long as you guys will have me! Despite how the series ended, I've had a genuinely wonderful experience in the fandom and I really don't want to let go of the little community we've built together just because the series is done. I'm Ai's fan for all eternity!!!

[juyoluvs]

light a candle | l.juyeon

—————

☆pairing: single fatherljuyeon x teacher fem!reader

☆tags: fluff!, slow but not so slow burn, really slight smut, mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of other members, eric is kinda toxic here :)

☆summary: after your last relationship you swore to yourself that you wouldn't fall in love again but you change your thoughts when you see a little girl and her...very hot dad

disclaimer! all the people on this fic are pure imagination and are fake, they don't relate to the real people at all.

STATUS: on going! (19.10. 24)

1 2 。。。

Chapter two

It had now been several months since your last relationship.

You couldn't say that it was still an open wound but neither that it didn't tempt you from time to time.

"Wait a second, what do you mean by that?" you asked trying to process the words of the boy in front of you.

He sighed, passing his hand over his face before returning his gaze to you.

"I mean that...it’s so boring being with you y/n..." he then added.

Not hearing a response from you he continued his speech.

"You're always talking about those children, what they do, what they tell you...do you ever think about me?"

"Eric of course I think about you, why the fuck would you say-"

"Well it doesn't seem like it, you're starting to treat me like a child too!" he added, raising his voice slightly.

"Of course I'm treating you like a child when you think exactly like one!"

"y/n..."

"it's over."

“Stupid child.”

That was all you could think remembering how Eric had thrown away your 3 years old relationship because he was jealous of your students.

It was an inevitably comical situation but inside you the fear of starting something new with someone remained constant.

Kevin and Vivienne had tried several times to introduce you to new people and even made you join (without your knowledge) a dating app but the results were always terrible.

Of course what your best friend did not expect was to see you completely crushing on the father of one of your students.

It had not escaped her at all how for the past week you had been much more radiant and perfectly dressed up in the mornings and staying late every day waiting for the last parent (who happened to always be Juyeon) to arrive.

And of course you had not missed her glances whenever you greeted Juyeon on the way out.

"What's wrong?" you asked her one afternoon while the children were playing in the garden.

"Nothing" she gave a sly smile as she shrugged slightly.

"Why are you looking at me like that then?"

"Because you just can't hide anything, you're embarrassing."

"What?" you looked at her shocked "What do you mean by that?" you said snorting a laugh.

"When were you planning to tell me about your crush on Lee Juyeon also known as Isabelle's father?" she said resting her hands on her hips like a mother scolding her daughter.

You turned to look at her, feigning an embarrassed laugh.

"What crush?! He’s a married man Viv! I have no crush on anyone."

Vivienne came dangerously close to your face, startling you.

“I probably shouldn't tell you this but..just so you know, he's a single father."

Oh.

"Unless he's married to that Paul guy, their numbers are the only ones saved in the parent registry."

“Oh.” your brain couldn’t process anything else.

“Still, why would he look at his daughter teacher?” you said.

“Because you’re hot?”

“Viv.”

She raised her eyes, sighing.

"Anyways, I'm totally rooting for you, don't let me down" she finished with a wink.

And before you could say something, here she was already rushing off to entertain the children with some group dances, leaving you alone to sigh.

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

That same afternoon, while helping Isabelle color another one of her thousand drawings here it was the angelic figure of Juyeon appearing from the doorframe.

Always like the first time.

The little girl, as always, ran into her father's arms as you followed her while still keeping a distance between you and them.

"How did it go today?" he asked the little girl.

"Good! We learned the colors in English! Red, yellow,blue, black-" the little girl said in response as she began to list all the colors she had learned that morning.

"That's so good! Listen to how well you pronounce them, I'm so proud of you." he said and just then he turned to look at you, causing you to miss a few beats.

"Did she behave well?"

You nodded, smiling.

"Of course she did, she is so sweet and very smart, I was amazed to hear how she still remembered all the colors, usually they tend to forget them after a few hours" You replied, looking at the little girl and giving her a light caress in her hair that made her laugh a little.

The man next to you smiled, nodding slightly.

"I'm glad to hear that, i guess she’s not like her daddy, thankfully"he said, leaving her a light kiss on her cheek.

"Well, I think it’s time to go and free Miss Y/n, Grandma is waiting for us at home" he then added, leaving the little girl on the floor.

After the usual goodbyes you watched them walking toward the exit before a flash hit your memory.

"Ah, Mr. Lee!" You said, drawing the attention of the man who turned to look at you.

"I don't know if you've been notified yet but this Friday is Children-Parents Day, we're doing some activities and then doing a little meeting to inform parents of the plans for the school year...I know it might be a problem for your work so don't worry if you can't make it I tak-"

"I'll definitely be there." he interrupted you with a smile.

"Oh, very well then, see you tomorrow!"

They left you with one last goodbye before disappearing behind the school doors.

"We were saying?" a voice said behind you, that you recognized as Vivienne's, scaring you.

"Shut up."

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

Friday arrived sooner than expected and especially sooner than it should have because now, an hour before the start of activities, you were already running from one side of the school to the other to keep everything under control.

Colours, games, sheets of paper, music.

Everything seemed to be according to plan.

Except for your hair which, despite this morning's efforts, had already become a unique mess.

You took advantage of a moment of rest to quickly gather it into a braid and then head for the entrance where the children had started to arrive.

The atmosphere at school that day was livelier than usual, with the laughter of parents and children filling the rooms.

It was, if nothing else, one of your favourite days of the school year.

Caught up chatting with parents about this and that, a pair of hands that wrapped themselves around your leg took you by surprise.

"Miss. Y/n!" Isabelle's little voice exclaimed, calling for your attention.

Your face opened into a happy, surprised expression and apologetically you turned around, taking the little girl in your arms and giving her your undivided attention.

She was, as usual, fully perfectly dressed with a long braid similar to yours and a large bow at the end of it.

"Isa! How beautiful you look today! Did you come with Paul?" you asked as the little girl shook her head.

"I promised I'd be there, didn't I?" a voice behind you answered for her.

You turned to see the usual Lee Juyeon with his usual sculpted face and a suit, totally out of place in a kindergarten.

With a smile that could make anyone collapse, he approached your figure as you had to beg all the strength in the universe to keep your legs solid and stable on the ground.

"It's good to see you Mr. Lee, I guess Isa is glad to have her daddy at school today" you said looking at the little one who was now nodding brightly.

"Daddy look! Miss. Y/n has a braid like me!" said the little one noticing your close-cropped hair.

"Oh" replied the man looking tenderly at how the little girl had started playing with your hair "It looks very good on her, I can't deny it." he continued and your cheeks suddenly turned a bright shade of red.

You tried to huff out a nervous laugh, bringing your attention back to Isa so as not to cross her gaze.

"Isa looks beautiful in this braid, this bow is gorgeous!" you tried to shift your attention back to the little girl but she was blatantly playing devil's advocate.

"Daddy made it for me! Give Miss Y/n a bow too daddy!”

"Oh no, no need Isa really-" but before you could finish the sentence Juyeon had already pulled a bow out of his pocket and was handing it to you.

"I'll take a couple with me, just in case she needs them-" he said almost embarrassed after pulling a pink bow out of his dark suit.

You could do nothing but say thank you and take the bow which, promptly, Isa threaded through your hair.

"Now we are the same!" the delighted child exclaimed and in front of that smile you completely melted.

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

After a short time, everyone was invited to go into their classrooms and next to Vivienne you started to illustrate the first activity.

It was a simple art project where parents and children collaborated in drawing but the results were always wonderful and the families always came out happy.

Passing between the tables you would try to lend a hand in case help was needed or just to get the children to tell you about their work.

At one point Vivienne touched your shoulder lightly, drawing your attention.

"I think you need to give your favourite one a hand” she said only pointing with her head in the direction of Juyeon and Isabelle where the man, now covered in glitter, was trying to glue them onto the drawing, failing miserably.

A light laugh came out of your mouth before you reached their small table, clearly too small for the man.

"How's the masterpiece coming along over here?" you said once you reached their coffee table.

Juyeon looked up laughing, slightly embarrassed.

"Well, I'm not sure if we're going for abstract or accidental...but we're getting somewhere." he said as Isabelle had started wandering around the table, looking for the colours she needed.

"Abstract art is always a good choice. It leaves room for interpretation." you said, laughing slightly.

Juyeon raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"So, what's your professional interpretation of...this?" he said, pointing to the glitter-filled sheets that occupied the table.

You lowered yourself onto your knees to observe them more closely, with the father and daughter by your side.

"Hmm... I'd say it's a bold exploration of colour and chaos. Very avant-garde." you replied playfully, seeing Isabelle's confused face trying to understand what this avant-garde was.

Juyeon snorted a laugh while giving you a slight smirk.

"What can I say? I'm committed to the art."

"Clearly. Perhaps only a little help is needed to represent Isa's wonderful artistic vision."

"Oh? You think we need professional help?" he asked, sounding almost defiant.

"Absolutely Mr.Lee-"

"Please, call me Juyeon." he said with a gentle smile.

Fucckk, he's so hot.

"OK..Juyeon, lucky for you, I just happen to be an art enthusiast and a kindergarten teacher. Two birds, one stone." you replied, feigning some big ego that Vivienne would certainly be proud of.

"I don't know, we might be a lost cause. But I could never refuse the help of an expert.”he replied, making room between the two of them.

You then moved between them, now bringing your attention to Isa.

"So what's the plan?"

And as you listened attentively to Isabelle's request for a big pink glittery unicorn (after all, what could you expect from a five-year-old?) you felt Juyeon's watchful gaze on your every move.

Between a pink pencil and a tube of glitter you looked up, meeting his eyes.

Trying to ignore the beat that your heart just lost, you gave him a slightly smile.

"What? Surprised I can paint too?" you said teasingly but with a softer tone.

Juyeon smirked slightly.

"A little. I didn't know kindergarten teachers had so many hidden talents." he said taking a marker, continuing to colour under his daughter's orders.

"Let's just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve" you replied, keeping a smile on your face.

"I guess I can't wait to find out the others."

And after that sentence your brain went into shutdown.

There was a slight silence, a comfortable pause as the children's laughter and parents' chatter filled that void.

What?

The whole thought was interrupted by Isabelle who, having completed her drawing, lifted it into the air for her father to see.

"Daddy, look! The unicorn!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

Juyeon, breaking the moment with a chuckle, looked at his daughter's work.

"That looks awesome, sweetie. We might just have to hang even this one up at home."

You stared at them, smiling warmly.

"See? A little guidance can go a long way." you said.

Juyeon turned his head to look at you, but you're too busy talking with his daughter again.

"Yeah, I guess it can." he just said by himself.

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

After the morning activity all children, with parents attached, are invited to the afternoon refreshment in the schoolyard.

Hearing the children's laughter as they play with each other fills your heart with joy enormously, especially when accompanied by the stories of the parents who madly love to talk about their children.

And you just have to listen to them happily.

That was before, out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the other figure of Juyeon standing alone and watching from afar as Isa played with his friends, while from a saucer he ate the cake one of the teachers had prepared for the day.

The scene warmed your heart and apologising to the parents, you headed towards the drinks table to get a second glass of lemonade and then walked towards the man who was now choking on the previously mentioned cake.

"Here, you look like you could use this” you said handing him the glass, laughing slightly at the scene.

He thanked you with a look, taking the glass and drinking immediately to calm his coughing fits.

Once he was stable again, he turned to look at you.

"Thanks, great cake anyway" he only said, making you laugh heartly.

"Don't worry, you seemed to be enjoying it a bit too much" you replied amused.

"How's it going?" you added, sipping from your glass.

"Good I guess..I'm not really good at these kinds of things." he replied, scratching his head.

"What, you don't enjoy awkward small talk with strangers?"

"It's not my strong suit." he replied, laughing nervously.

"You know…you're allowed to relax. Isabelle's having lots of fun." you said, watching the children play from afar.

"Yeah, she really is, isn't she? Sometimes I forget she's growing up so much every day".

"That's because you love her so much. But it's okay to let yourself enjoy these moments too. She'll be just fine," you said gently, trying to relax those big shoulders that remained tense, looking at his little girl from afar.

Juyeon then turned his gaze slowly to you, slightly hesitant.

"You seem to know how to balance everything so well. How do you do it?"

You turned to look at him and your gazes met again, making your heart flutter a little.

"Years of practice with little ones. And, well, sometimes you just have to remind yourself to breathe. You're allowed to enjoy the moment too, Juyeon," you replied, smiling.

He smiled back, turning and looking at the children.

"I think I could learn a thing or two from you," he said alone.

"I think you're doing pretty well already," you replied.

And so the refreshments ended, taking everyone back to their respective classrooms.

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

The day passed quickly, amidst dances and songs that enlivened all the parents and entertained the children, soon it was time for talks between parents and teachers.

You and Vivienne split up the families to take less time and get everyone out as soon as possible.

While the children continued playing, one by one the parents went in and out of your classroom door to hear what they needed to know about their children.

Fortunately, your class was a good one and so there were no special cases to analyse or help.

Just when you thought you'd seen the last of the parents, Juyeon appeared through the doorway, with that usual damn smile.

Obviously, Vivienne had played her cards right to get you two alone.

Damn her.

"May I?" he said, entering the classroom and pointing to the chair in front of your desk.

You gestured for him to take a seat.

"You know, for a teacher, you didn't warn me that I'd be wearing half the art supplies by the end of the day," he said, noticing some paint and glitter stains on his suit.

"Hey, I did warn you. You were too busy showing off to Isabelle to listen." you laughed, shaking your head slightly.

"Showing off? I was just responding to her orders. Big difference." he said, playing offended.

"I noticed, you put in a lot of effort, I'm glad."

Juyeon chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, clearly enjoying the little back-and-forth.

"What can I say?" he started.

"My kid brings it out in me. She thinks I'm some sort of superhero, so I have to live up to the hype, right?"

You nodded.

"Isabelle adores you, you know. She talks about you all the time. You're not just her superhero-you're her whole world." you replied with a sweet smile, remembering all the times the little girl mentioned her daddy when she had a chance.

"Yeah, she's my world too. Everything I do is for her."

You watch him for a moment, seeing the tenderness in his eyes.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough, you know? It's just the two of us, and I worry... about missing things, or not being there the way I should."

Hearing him open up so much to you made your heart warm with joy, and all you could think about was how much love there was between the father and the daughter.

"You're there in all the ways that matter. You can see it in how happy she is. How confident she's becoming. That's all because of you." you said with a sweet look, trying to comfort him.

There's a beat of silence, the atmosphere growing a little more serious, Juyeon's gaze softens as he looks at your eyes.

“I have to thank you too. You're so good with her, y/n. She really looks up to you. It's like... she feels safe around you."

You couldn't hide a smile at his words.

"Isabelle's a special kid. She's so sweet, and once she opens up, she's got so much love to give. Honestly, she makes my job easier" you replied.

"Yes, I can see where she gets it from" he began, "And I can see why she likes you so much. You've got that effect on people." he continued, leaving you completely speechless.

Your cheeks turned red again and your smile became more playful, trying to joke about it so you wouldn't lose your mind.

"Is that your way of complimenting me again, Juyeon? Because I'm keeping track, you know." you asked, teasing him a little bit.

He gave a slight smirk before continuing to speak.

"You deserve all the compliments. I just happen to be the one lucky enough to give them."

Oh fuck, he's good, he's really good.

It took you a few seconds to process it all and when you regained consciousness, a soft laugh came out of your mouth.

"You're impossible, you know that?" you ask, trying to escape his gaze.

"Maybe. But you're still here."

There was this energy in the air that you cannot quite define.

Lost in his gaze a thousand questions come back to you.

Is he really flirting with me? Or is he just trying to be friends?

There is clearly something that seems to attract you to each other and anyone, even outside that room, could see that.

Trying to find words along your vocal chords,you shook your head, smiling slightly.

"I guess I am," you only said , before being interrupted by Isabelle's small voice.

"Dad! Miss. Y/n! Look at my new drawing!" she said, making you laugh slightly before returning your full attention to the little one, but the spoken words and tension were still hovering vividly in the room.

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

After this meeting the situation between you seemed to be going great.

There were no particular developments but those light chats at the end of classes warmed your hearts before going home.

Vivienne often monitored the situation from afar, nodding proudly at her best friend.

By now Juyeon and Isabelle had become part of your everyday life and you couldn't be happier.

Yet your heart did not stop beating fiercely every time your glances crossed a little too long or when your hands brushed lightly against each other.

But it was still all too abstract, still a simple crush that all your friends were already sick of.

Until, on a cloudy Friday afternoon, while you and Isabelle waited as usual for Juyeon colori g together, he arrived with two coffees and a small brown bag in his hands.

"Hey there! I brought you both a little something to brighten the day." he said, slightly raising what he had in his hand.

The little girl as usual ran to hug him and then let her curiosity get the better of her as she tried to peek inside the bag.

Smiling you got up from your chair as your eyes shone with happiness at the sight of the coffee in the man’s hands.

He looked at you, returning the happy gaze.

With the weather announcing no improvement and the fact that you hadn't been able to have a proper lunch, that coffee to you really seemed like a goldmine.

Juyeon smiled before listening to little Isabelle's insistence, gripped by curiosity to know the contents of the bag.

“What's in there Dad? Is it snacks? Is it Dad?" she asked.

"Maybe darling, but first, coffee for Miss Y/n. She's been working hard all day." he said and then handed you the hot cup.

You took the cup, smelling the sweet scent coming from it, feeling in heaven.

"This is perfect, i swear. How did you know I was running on fumes?" you asked, taking a light sip from the cup.

"I can read some signs you know? Especially when the teacher starts looking more like a painting than a person." said Juyeon and with a smile he pointed with his head at the thousand colours that now occupied your apron.

You looked at yourself slightly and then burst out laughing.

"I guess you're probably right" you nodded, continuing to drink from your cup as the man in front of you reached down towards his daughter and pulled out the biscuits he had diligently chosen and bought.

Watching them interact a sweet smile formed on your face, everything seemed so perfect.

Once the little girl had her own biscuit, according to her father's instructions, she went to collect her things, leaving you and Juyeon alone again.

"Anyway, the coffee is also to thank you. I appreciate everything you do for her. She really loves coming to your class. And also to apologise for the very frequent delays" he began, scratching his head slightly embarrassed.

You turned to look at him, a sweet and sincere smile on your lips.

"Don't worry Juyeon and plus,I love being with her. She brightens my day every time."

As always, your gazes met, sending sparks flying across the room.

Juyeon took a long breath before resuming speaking.

"You know... I was wondering. I mean, since you've already admitted to liking my coffee... maybe I could treat you to a cup sometime. Outside of the classroom." he said alone, lowering his voice slightly.

You raised an interested eyebrow.

"Are you asking me on a coffee date, Mr. Coffee Barista?" you asked, teasing him like always.

"Yeah, I am. That is, if you're willing to see if my coffee is as good outside the classroom." he said then.

You pretended to think about it, lightly touching your chin with your finger with an exaggerated thoughtfulness before breaking into a grin.

"Well, I suppose I could be convinced. But I'm tough on dates, you know." you replied at last.

He shrugged slightly.

"I'll take my chances. What's life without a little risk?"

He then pulled out his phone, handing it to you.

"So... do you think I can have your number for this very important coffee date?"

Smiling, you took his phone, no need to think twice.

You typed your number, leaving him to choose the name for the contact.

"There you go. But remember, I take my coffee very seriously." you said, handing the phone back to him.

He took the phone back with a slight smirk on his face.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll make sure it's the best cup you've ever had." he said and interrupting the moment was Isabelle who, having finished tidying up and with her backpack on her shoulder, had run over.

"Can I have a coffee date too, Dad?" she asked genuinely making you laugh in unison, filling the room with your laughter and the little one's confused look.

Once you waved them goodbye on their way out, Vivienne's presence beside you came like lightning.

"So...coffee date mh?"

You turned to look at her slightly.

"I don't know how many 'shut ups' I have in me anymore, you know?"

︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶ ୨୧ ︶ ֢ ⏝ ֢ ︶

writer notes: hope you’re liking this! （＾ν＾） kisses

[daisymooonart]

May my Emperor live ten thousand years!

An (un)official painting of the Emperor and Empress of Huaxia. I would absolutely bow for Wu Zetian. Maybe not Qin Zheng, but he is hot and communist so I am tempted.

This took me around 15-20 hours to make and it was so worth it <3

Details under the cut!

First off: the faces.

Because of how obscured it was going to be, I wanted to get a good sense of what Zetian would look like before the makeup and the mask. I tried to give her a kind of average appearance, because I wanted to try and make her look like a normal person under all of that Empress garb (she's only 18... she should have been at the clurbbb). Her face is purposefully a little asymmetrical.

For makeup, I went for the blush-that-makes-you-look-drunk look that was apparently fashionable among Tang ladies. Her lips and yedian are pretty standard. I saved the xiehong on the wrong layer like a clown 😭 but it's still visible under the mask. Not entirely sure if her huadian would be accurate, but it's the one on the painting of Empress Wu that I see most often.

Would Qin Zheng have a stroke if he saw Zetian hang out with men wearing this mask? Absolutely. Am I Qin Zheng? Nope I'm an artist who spent wayyyyy too long drawing Zetian's face and didn't want to cover it up fully. Her haircomb is in the shape of an upside-down butterfly. The sharp bit on the collar is inspired by a shirt I saw in the Hunger Games once, it's a style that's supposed to force you into keeping good posture. I hc that Qin Zheng included it to piss her off, and it's definitely working...

Now for Qin Zheng's face. I tried to go for a simple, smooth-wing look. I never really envisioned him as twink-y when I read the book and tried to go for a hot-and-scary-man look whilst keeping it a little bit androgynous. He'd never ever have his hair down for a formal painting but I want to separate his face from the rest of the piece. His eye is weaker on his scarred side. He looks a little feverish and a little bit infuriated: he is probably wondering why the hell he needs to be painted when photographs now exist.

It's a very busy painting and I fully expect people to gloss over this, so here's a little zoom on Qin Zheng gripping Zetian's armour. He's a freak.

Now for the throne. I tried to do a dragon/phoenix piece but it didn't show very well in the actual painting, so here it is. You can really tell how much I love scribble art lol.

And here's the base of the throne, with two dragons to keep our lovely tyrants company

I opted for a double-seated throne because I accidentally drew them too close together and couldn't move them because of the layers because feminism <3

Now for clothing. I noticed that on the HT cover, Zetian has a white gem whilst Qin Zheng has a black gem, but the clothes underneath are the opposite colours. I made the details on Qin Zheng's armour white and Zetian's details black, but Qin Zheng's armour ends up being darker whilst Zetian's armour is a lot paler. Symbolism... or something... Also they both get a heart because its cute, like a friendship bracelet.

I really can't draw scales though so erm. Yeah.

If you notice any er,,,, imagery in their lower robes it was unintentional I swear

Even though Qin Zheng is very much the taller, dominant figure in the piece, I tried to actually put the focus on Zetian, by making her armour a different shade of gold to the throne and by keeping her closer to the centre. I don't know if it worked but my eyes think so. I think out of the entire piece though, Zetian took me the longest because I hadn't settled on what look I was trying to go for her. I redrew her armour about five times, but thankfully by the time it was done I had pretty much solidified where I was going with Qin Zheng's armour and I finished that in no time.

Again I absolutely loved making this painting, it was SO worth it. It might me my most detailed ever. I adore Heavenly Tyrant so so so much it might actually be my favourite book ever lol.

[inkabelledesigns]

Belladonna Nightshade - Halloween Dark Fairy

Base Doll: G3 Twyla from Monster High Clothing Pattern: Dollightful's Asymmetrical Dress (read to the end, I have notes about this)

Happy Halloween everyone! Since becoming a doll customizer, my Halloween dolls are usually related to my favorite indie horror game, Bendy and the Ink Machine. However, seeing as I've completed two Bendy dolls already this year, I felt it was time to give myself a break and try something a bit different. My friends over in DollyAnna's Discord server wanted to do a collaboration, so we decided to all make some Dark Fairies for Halloween!

Belladonna Nightshade is a mischievous fae that loves to play tricks and tempt mortals. That said, she's easily bribed with a sweet treat or two, and will usually let you be if you have a little candy or pastry to give her. I haven't decided what I want to do with her yet in terms of a story, but there is a part of me that would love to have her in my Equinox story.

When you consider the fact that most of my other Halloween dolls are black and yellow, it's no surprise she ended up super colorful. XD Would you believe this is my first doll with rainbow hair? Yeah neither did I, but she is! Part of my style is having really colorful and vibrant dolls, it surprises a lot of people that I've never done a rainbow before, but honestly? I'm glad to have finally tackled one! I'm also glad to have worked with another G3. Twyla is very near and dear to my heart, and I was so psyched to work with her mold! You can't see it in any of these photos, but I used glow in the dark varnish on her eyes and neon markings, so that her eyes still glow like the original. I will say, this doll has a lot more acrylic paint than my others, just by the nature of I don't have any pencils in neon colors. It was nice to get the practice in, I feel more confident than I did before in my brush skills. It was also nice to have a doll with dark scleras for a change! I haven't done that since I made Dreamer, it's surprisingly fun to draw on!

I was inspired by a LOT of different things with this one, and I went back and forth on my concepts a lot. Black light skeleton make-up, butterflies, fairies with non-traditional wings, candy, jesters, these were all sources of inspiration, and I think most obviously of all, Dollightful herself. This wasn't intentional, but I ended up using a doll of one of her favorite characters, with a lot of saturated colors which we know she loves, and even her dress pattern! I've been wanting to make this garment for ages, and finally I had a reason to try it!

So those of you who know how this pattern works are probably asking "Kat, how did you make this fit a G3? This dress is supposed to fit a G1 Monster High doll!" Believe it or not, Requiem Arts has a method for easily adjusting G1 patterns to fit G3 bodies. It's as simple as scaling a pattern up to 104% and printing it that way. It's meant for her garments, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for other doll patterns. So I tried it with Katherine's dress, and I'm happy to say it worked out just fine! I think I probably should have adjusted a bit more on the skirt though. This outfit is essentially two pieces, and the skirt with all the ruffles is a little tight around the booty, it could have used a little more sizing up. So if you own this pattern and want to try this yourself, do keep that in mind!

Do let me know what you think! I had so much fun working on Belladonna, she's so vibrant and fun, I wanna try more fairies like her someday. I also need to try using props more. I got these pumpkins and hay bales on sale, and it was fun using them to craft a little temporary set for photos.

[annadiplosis]

[2024 vs 2014]

Ever since I made that post about my archiving system, I’ve been thinking a lot about my notebooks and the way my understanding of them has changed throughout my life, especially for the last two or three years, so I’ve tried to put all my thoughts down in another post.

Let me preface all of this by saying I don't know who this post is for. I'm tempted to say it's just for me, but if it was… Well, I'd just write it in a notebook.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned multiple times on this blog, I’ve been keeping notebooks since I was a child. I started using them just for drawing, developed the habit of carrying one with me at all times, and ended up using them for absolutely everything. Whenever I needed to write, doodle, or scribble something, my book was there for me. I’ve never had a set structure: I simply use the next available page until there’s none left, and then I start a new notebook.

Although the basic mechanics of my notebooks have remained the same over the decades, my relationship to them has changed. At first, they were only tools: places I could keep my thoughts safe in, only to be used in the very short term and probably never touched again when I was done. They were an integral part of my life, but only in a practical sense.

A couple years ago, I moved out of the apartment I’d spent nearly a decade in. While preparing to leave, storing all my life in cardboard boxes, I realized I’d accumulated an insurmountable amount of loose pieces of paper. Concert tickets, magazine cutouts, napkin doodles, theater programs—most of which I had no place for and forced myself to throw away. It was right then and there that something clicked: everything not saved (written, drawn, glued, somehow kept) in a notebook would be lost forever.

The following summer, I ran away from the place I’d moved into, taking with me only as much as a couple of suitcases could carry. I packed a winter coat and all my notebooks, and never looked back. Everything not kept in a notebook was truly lost.

I’ve started looking at my notebooks as a life archive. They no longer serve only present me but also long-in-the-distant-future me. I number and date them as clearly as I can, have developed a system to find old entries more easily, and write stuff down in a way that will make sense in the long run (as opposed to your classic “I know what I mean”). My pages have never looked flawless and perfectly aesthetic, nor do I want them to, but now I decorate them to my heart’s content and have a great time doing it. All in all, and even though they’re still tools I use in my everyday life, I want my books to be nice places to stay in, be it right now or years down the line.

As I said in the beginning, I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is or where all these thoughts leave me. I just think it’s wonderful to have so many years of my life documented by myself, and the ability to look back on them is priceless. Sometimes a notebook is all I have, and that’s more than enough.

Thanks for reading. See you soon, probably, for more notebook posting.

[topazadine]

How I Am Kicking Agoraphobia's Ass

With a little help from Horse, of course

I have struggled with agoraphobia since 2017, when I was sexually assaulted. This is a common cause of agoraphobia, and it is more likely to develop in people who have CPTSD (ding ding guess who).

Anyway, I got so fucking sick of people telling me to "just go outside" as if it's so easy-peasy. Maybe for someone without agoraphobia, it feels seamless to stroll out to your car, but it's not so simple when your brain tells you that Bad Things happen when you leave the house. What are those Bad Things? idk, brain never told me. Just Bad Things.

I organized my life around my agoraphobia for many years; it's the reason I have a remote job. And the "just go outside" advice never, ever helped. The best I could do was leave the house with an Emotional Support Human (or dog), but rarely, if ever, alone.

Now I'm leaving the house at least four times a week! Voluntarily! ALONE! Without getting scared!

And sometimes I even spontaneously decide to leave the house and go to big events where there are dozens of people. Just because I feel like it.

This is momentous. If you have agoraphobia, you know how intense that is.

So what did I do? What can you do?

It's actually so simple and I have no idea why no one told me to do this years ago.

Schedule a regular event that is so exciting that you simply cannot afford to miss it.

Something you care about. Something that's so insanely tempting that you would walk over hot coals to do it. Think about something you used to care about before you became housebound, or something you've always wanted to try. For me, it was (and still is) horseback riding.

But! It must meet these conditions:

It has to happen on a regular basis at a scheduled time. Say, 6 pm every Friday. If it's just "whenever" or "once every few months," you probably won't agree to go to it every time.

There has to be a cost to missing it so your Sunk Cost Theory is triggered. Ideally, there will be multiple costs: that could be disappointing someone who has agreed to go with you every time, and that you have already prepaid for it so you'd lose money.

It has to be something that makes you happy and is just for you, not an obligation. So, therapy doesn't count. Going to the gym also doesn't count if you feel like you have to do it for social reasons or health reasons.

If you want to make this an ironclad thing, it should ideally meet these conditions too:

You learn something while there, which develops a sense of efficacy and confidence.

It's a social activity where you will make friends.

It is a physical activity that releases endorphins. (Again, pick something fun, not just going to the gym if it's not fun for you.)

There are no costs to failing. If I screw up at horseback riding or rock climbing, I'm not going to miss out on a promotion or whatever. I might be mad at myself, but I don't really lose anything by not doing it.

It has an indefinite end date; ie, this is something you could theoretically do every week forever if you want to. So if it's a class you want to take, make sure it's one where you can sign up for more classes if you feel like it.

So how do you find your thing??

Think back to a time before you suffered from agoraphobia. Might be hard if you've struggled with it for most of your life, but you might have glimmers of what you liked before.

What did you enjoy doing, or what did you want to do but couldn't? For me, I got to horseback ride as a little kid but then had to stop for money reasons. Now I can afford to do it because I'm an adult with my own adult money.

Find classes or groups in your area that cater to Thing. If they don't exist or are out of your budget, go back to the drawing board and workshop a new Thing.

Sign up for the class ahead of time. Pick a time that is within the next two weeks but preferably within the next week so you have time to prepare yourself.

If it's a paid class, pay your deposit before you get there.

Tell people you are going - as many people as you can. Now you have social and financial pressure that will make you commit.

Now, the most important part.

Research the particular place you will be going during the time between when you sign up and when you go. Learn what to expect when you get there.

Read reviews. Look at pictures online. Analyze the Google Street View. Practice driving or walking there with directions.

If you're trying a new activity, read up on it. Get beginner tips for what to expect in your first session. Watch videos of other people doing it, and read other peoples' experiences trying it out. Visualize what it will feel like to be there and what you will be doing.

This is mental rehearsal and it makes it less scary to actually step into the place for the first time. You will feel more confident when you arrive because you know what you are doing, where you are going, and what to expect as soon as you arrive.

The climbing gym I go to had a "What to Expect On Your First Visit" page that helped me a lot, and then I watched a lot of rock climbing videos and learned about the techniques so I wouldn't feel stupid. I even looked up what climbing shoes look like and how harnesses feel so I wasn't scared when I put them on.

I can't promise it will help you, but I encourage you to give it a try.

Having something to look forward on a regular basis will make it less and less scary to leave the house because, after a while, you won't even think about how unnerving the transition from Safe Space to Unsafe Space is. More and more places will become Safe, and less places will become Unsafe (within reason).

The route you take will become familiar, as will what to expect when you get there. You'll be able to practice and perfect the technique of psyching yourself up to leave home until you no longer need to; it becomes automatic.

And, most importantly, you'll see that your home isn't the only place in the world where you can exist comfortably. Everything's out there waiting for you, and you deserve to be there, too!

[subsystems]

Do you have any tips for system mapping as a polyfragmented system? Every time we've tried to make one we've just gotten overwhelmed by how many parts there are and how much we don't know

Hi anon! I have some advice based off of my own experience. I hope it will work for you (I'm sorry if it doesn't, though). First, I want to stress that it's okay if you can't create a perfect system map. I've never been able to make one that felt 100% correct, and I've tried many times!

Being dissociative can make it quite difficult to understand what's going on internally. You might have a hard time understanding yourself as an individual part, let alone understanding the other parts in your system. On top of that, your system might have some complex inner organization, like subsystems or parts-within-parts. Don't even get me started on how amnesia can make this all even more confusing, too!

So, remember to cut yourself some slack when it comes to system mapping. Your struggles with it are completely understandable!

Tips for System Mapping When Your System is Confusing as Hell

Make your own template.

A lot of pre-made system mapping templates contain things that don't apply to everyone, aren't important to everyone, or not everyone knows enough about their parts to answer. Some designs might not fit how your system functions. So, if pre-made templates don't work for you...don't use them! Try making your own!

When it comes to your own template, I think it's important to be mindful of your current stage of recovery. If you don't know a lot of things about your parts, that's okay -- that's where you're at in your recovery right now. In that case, you probably shouldn't create a template that requires you to write down a ton of information. Allow yourself to include your confusion and questions into your system map!

Think about what you want to keep track of when it comes to your parts. What would be the most useful things for you and your therapist to know? Yours will probably look different but here was the template that I settled on:

Does the part have a name?

Do they feel younger or older than the body?

What are they associated with?

Anything else?

And here's an example of how I would fill this out:

Does the part have a name? I don't think so

Do they feel younger or older than the body? Much younger

What are they associated with? The color yellow, puppies, childhood, abandonment, crying

Anything else? Likes puppies and drawing, sometimes buys candy without our knowing, unsure if this is one part or actually several

Get messy with it.

I understand the desire to have a neat system map. I've always wanted to have a perfect list of all my parts, all the important details about them, maybe organized into some sort of chart too. But these things doesn't always capture the complexities of being dissociative and having parts. Sometimes, you got to get messy.

I feel like the closest I ever came to a system map that felt the most "right" was in my therapist's sand tray. I picked out different figurines to represent my parts, placing some closer together than others. I would also move the sand, making big and low hills beneath and between parts, burying some things, cutting lines around other things. Something like this picture, but way more chaotic:

You can do this at home. You don't even need sand or figurines. You could grab some objects from around the house or outside, print or cut out pictures, grab some paints, scribble on paper, sculpt something out of clay, etc. Pick out something to represent certain parts or feelings or situations. Place them wherever, move them however, just let it kind of unfold naturally. Then take a picture of it and/or write about it (so you don't forget)!

Maybe put the trauma stuff somewhere else.

You'll probably feel tempted to record trauma memories and triggers associated with parts -- but it's probably best to write that stuff down somewhere else! You want your system map to be something that all parts can look at. Try not to jump-scare them with trauma that they may or may not know about yet.

This won't apply to everyone but, in my own experience, including stuff like this in our system map triggered our avoidance. Not only did it make creating the system map harder, it also resulted in some parts destroying/hiding what we wrote as a way to protect themselves and other vulnerable parts.

Aaand that's all I have to say, I think. Good luck with your system mapping, anon! - Sunflower

[melanieph321]

Dominik Szoboszlai x Black Reader - Not Enough Part 4/6

+18

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary - Reader is excited to meet Dominik's parents but is shocked to find out that they are very prejudiced and do not approve of her.

Enjoy!

It was a dreadful night. As you tossed and turned, not all comfortable in the little room Dominik's family put you in, it hit you that this was probably the first in three years that you had sleep alone.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness. You missed the familiarity of Dominik's presence, the way he would wrap his arms around you and pull you close. Now you hoped, no, prayed that Dominik in the other room was as miserable as you. How could he allow this, you thought. Was he that afraid to disrespect his parents?

"What a baby." You muttered, also coming to the conclusion that there was no comfortable sleeping positions in this bed. You might as well stay up.

Tossing the sheets aside, you got up and out of bed, the floor boards cracking underneath your feet.

"Such a old fucking house." You murmured. At this point you were angry at the world as you went to search through your bag.

"Yes, a good movie will do it..." You said, retrieving your laptop. Just then there was a light knock on the door, causing you to draw a sharp breath.

Knock knock

You had been to loud, you thought, standing frozen like a cat in the night, terrified to make a sound.

Knock knock

"Y/N, it's me."

"Dominik?"

The door handle yanked as he opened it. Your shoulders fell as he appeared in the frame, half naked wearing only his sweatpants.

His smoky eyes shifted to the laptop in your hand. "Couldn't sleep either?"

"No." You muttered. "And it's all your fault."

"My fault?" He said, voice low as not to wake up the rest of his family.

"Yes, your fault. You left me to sleep alone, knowing damn well that I don't know how to do that anymore."

Dominik shut the door behind him entering the room. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" You said, quite tempted to slap him across the face for being such a dick to you.

"You missed me didn't you?"

"Pardon?"

He nodded. "You missed me and couldn't fall asleep without me by your side."

You crossed your arms. "So what?"

"So what?"

"Yeah, so what if I missed you? I'm still mad at you."

Dominik stepped forward, closing the gap between you. His hands went to wrap around your waist, claiming you to press your chin against his torso as you tilted your head up to meet his eyes.

"I'm here now aren't I? That means I missed you too." He said and bent down to kiss you. It was sweet at first,  his tounge dancing around yours. Then the kissed turned needy, his lips smacking against yours.

"Dominik." You gasped against his mouth. His tounge licked a crossed your bottom lip. "Yes, baby?"

You dropped your laptop, wrapping your arms around his neck. "Fuck me."

His arms went under your ass, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. He did so never breaking up the kiss, at least not until he had your chest pressed against his, looking him deeply in the eyes. "With pleasure." He smield and moved to plot you down on the bed where he wasted no time stripping you of your clothes.

"Dominik please."

He didn't settle until he had you butt naked, laying under him with that complecant smile of yours.

"I have to leave in the morning." He said.

You nodded. "Then fuck me until morning."

He chuckled, but did not hesitate to pulll his pants down. There was no time for foreplay, you were horny like dogs. You sat up in bed and made the attempt to reach for his throbbing cock. However he slapped your hand away, causing you to whimper displeased.

"Turn around." He command.

You did what you were told, although the taste of his dick in your mouth would've also been nice.

"Ass up."

You tucked your knees in without raising your chest from the bed, that way Dominik had a perfect view of your....

"Fuck." He grunted, like a wolf about to tare up it's vunrable prey.

You felt a dip in the bed as he got on it. You anticipated his touch that came when he first place himself behind you, aligning his stiff cock with your butt hole, tugging at your hips.

"Wait." You weezed, quite surprised that he wanted your ass more than your glistering pussy.

"I didn't bring condoms." He explained, knowing exactly why you hesitated. "If it's too much for you we can do other things."

It would be a challenge without lubrication, still you shook your head and hid your face between the pillow. "Put it in!" You pleaded and held your breath as Dominik's grip on your hips tightened.

He showed himself into you and fucked you mercilessly. You were limb after five strokes, trembling all over.

"Stay with me, baby, say with me."

Dominik chest warmed your back as he leaned over to search for your hand. He grabbed it and guided it between your legs, wanting you to pleasure yourself while he got it on as well. You tried to match his pace but he was closer to collapsing than you.

"Fuuuckkkk." He groand. Inserting himself inside of you with one last sloppy stroke of his hips. Dominik then collapse on to of you but was quick to turn you over so that that he was the one on the bottom and you were the one on top.

Your heavy breaths filled the room as you came down from the high. The warmth liquid that was Dominik's cum still ran down your leg, however you didn't have the strangth to get up and clean yourself.

"Fuck that was good." He pulled your face to rest against chest, kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry." He siad, ones again apologized for making you sleep apart. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow night as well. Just leave the door open like you did tonight, okay baby?"

You nodded. "Okay."

Truthfully you wanted to question why the two of you had to sleep apart in the first place. You were grown people in love, and Dominik's parents said that they liked you. Didn't they?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[dragonfly41777]

Genuinely so tempted to start writing little x reader blurbs for Hazbin Hotel but I've been pushing it off bc of how busy I am with theatre stuff- soooo if there's anything you'd like me to write feel free to give suggestions 🤭 (also using this as an opportunity to figure out how to ✨bedazzle✨ my posts on here 😍 no but actually I really need help with that bc how tf 💀)

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Characters I am Willing to Write for:

Hazbin Hotel

❒ Lucifer

❒ Vox

❒ Velvette

❒ Rosie

❒ Angel Dust

❒ Husk

❒ Charlie

❒ Vaggie

❒ Alastor

❒ Adam

❒ Lute

❒ Sir Pentious

❒ Cherri Bomb

❒ Ofc this could change, just feel free to request whoever and I'll try my best 🤟

Newsies 📰

❒ Jack Kelly

❒ Davey

❒ Katherine Plumber

What I will NOT be Willing to Write:

❒ NSFW

❒ Don't even think about requesting Valentino because it's not happening- absolutely hate that man 💃

❒ Age-Gap stuff, it just makes me uncomfy and I personally don't get how people are able to romanticize it 😭 (again, just my opinion, no hate if you do like it, just as long as it's not illegal 🤷‍♀️)

❒ Anything romantic with Charlie and Vaggie bc they are datingggg- plus it just feels weird writing x reader for them, it's like in my mind they're cheating, as stupid as that sounds 💀

❒ Ummm there's probably other stuff but I can always add to it later 🤷‍♀️

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Soooo with that being said, feel free to send any requests and I'll try my best to write them! I know most of you probably won't be bothered to read this part, but I also draw as well and I've seriously been meaning to draw more often, especially different poses, so if you want me to draw anything I'll certainly try my best! Though no promises I'll actually finish the drawing ones because that takes up a lot more time and I barely have any 😭 The only times I'm actually free are on weekends 😞 But yeah, request if you feel like it 💪 And feel free to just call me Dragonfly! It's sort of like my alias at this point 💀

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Sometimes I see those posts from art accounts that have like really put together, only art posts and I feel tempted to delete all personal posts off my blog

And this thought today led me down a long thought path. Which was primarily, I don't....particularly like my personal vent posts on here. I mean they're not there to be liked, they're there to help me process things but... I also don't like to look back on them.

I mean writing on here is meant to be like a journal right? Journals are there to help through the act of writing, not the end result, though the end result can be helpful in a self reflective sense occasionally but for the most part it's about the process.

And then I realised... I've had one of the worst times of my life lately, and not once did venting or the thought of venting do anything to help it. For a lot of reasons, because I... couldn't voice it, because it would be another thing to obsess over, because I can't be as honest and true and personal as I would be in a literal journal because... I'm still posting things on the internet. And yeah it's Tumblr, it's a black hole, but it's still strangers on the internet reading my thoughts so.... I can't go too deep.

I've hit this point where I was trying to... go halfway, like keep it as this fun cutesy blog but then have some halfway personal venting posts. In the end, I just feel kind of dissatisfied because I'm not being fully honest, or if I am it feels so out of place with everything else.

And yeah it's a Tumblr blog it's not meant to be that serious, that helps, I like thinking of Tumblr like a commonplace notebook I keep just online. But.... the halfway personal/vent things, they feel disingenuous and out of place because they're... so unfinished, so calculated. Forced sometimes. There's this pressure I feel on myself, that I'm putting on myself. That pressure gets stronger to do the cute or fun posts if I've done a vent post, or to make the vent post.... I don't know, good, palatable, refined. I can't think of the right word but... something not spontaneous and genuine.

I think a lot about why I started this blog... it was ages ago around 2020 and because I had this idea in my head of, I don't know, being this spectacular writer and journalist writing really cool think pieces and changing the world, or at least the people who interact with my blog. Then it just, became like a commonplace notebook and that was fun, some curated posts to sort of fit the vibe I wanted, but personal.

Messy, messy is how it's gotten, and messy is fine in a journal, I might cringe looking back at old journals but there's a little fondness too, it's like meeting my past selves and being able to hold all the memories and emotions. But online is messy because... personal, and I need to be a little guarded, I can't be free, and I guess it sort of messes with when I want to have more light, cheery things on my blog. Or rather, it takes me away from spending time reading, or sewing or drawing and painting or any of the other hobbies I love that I can make cute and fun posts about. It takes me away from the time I want to spend on religion too, on reading Qur'aan and learning and memorising it, listening to and learning from lectures.

This leads into another thought which is... if the venting itself is not free, and it doesn't quite help my mental state, then it's just time wasted on something empty instead of another coping mechanism, one of the hobbies mentioned above, which could help me a lot. I'm realising that it's just an added pressure, and a really unnecessary one that often makes my head spin.

I think overstimulation probably adds to it too, social media scrolling is easy to do in bad moments because you're frozen, so you may as well scroll. It kind of feeds into the worst of it. I've been meaning to take a bit more of a step away from social media anyway, I wouldn't say I'm addicted but I definitely don't like the feeling I get when I'm in a freeze state or I'm tired and I scroll instead of spending time on a hobby.

Honestly I've been thinking a lot about the time I spend on things I enjoy, and it's not that Tumblr isn't a hobby but I preferred how I used it before; a record of all my interests. I liked it when I spent most of my time on my hobbies, and I just realised that it's been a while since I've done that, because poor mental health and extra work and studies... I feel like social media is the equivalent of eating a bag of crisps for dinner instead of a proper meal. Like sometimes you really don't have the energy and capability to do it, to cook something nice for yourself.

But I've learnt I gotta got that extra mile to cook a nice meal for myself ^_^ It gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day, or the beginning, it actually feels fun to do even if it feels like a big task to start, and it is good for me.

So, I wanna cook the meals again. I say I don't have time for things but I think if I added up the five minutes here and there on Tumblr and Instagram, I'd at least get an extra hour to have fun reading or painting or baking or sewing or something.

I guess it's a new mindset shift for me, I'm used to fitting work and studies in into every spare moment I can, that's how I operated for a lot of my life to make sure my academics were prioritised. Now I realise the importance of play and downtime, and I hadn't yet figured out that I need to prioritise it the same way. I'm going to try to now.

And going off of my earlier point, about how Tumblr isn't the same as journalling, well... something I really do miss about journalling is the physicality of it. The sitting with a cup of tea or coffee and writing in cursive in a pretty notebook ^_^ It feels so much more natural, and it's a keepsake, and most of all, private. Obviously I've... always had issues with privacy growing up, a warning my aunt used to give me was hah don't keep a journal in that house, it's probably not private.

That's a fear I still feel, but also... I have sketchbooks and journals and loads of things already and I mean, quite honestly you get to a certain age where no one cares. Not to say I am going to be careless in any way, Insha'Allah, I keep my phone very private anyway, same for my sketchbooks and personal collection boxes, but... I think I should.... give a little. I can give a little, I can give myself outlets. It's true that my current journal/sketchbook is mostly just out anyway and no one bats an eye.

So this brings me a little to the question; well, what is Tumblr for if you have a journal and sketchbook? I think I'll still use it, just not in the same capacity. Tumblr is for art posts, or odd or amusing one liners that pass through my mind everyday XD I actually save funny thoughts just for Tumblr or relatable thoughts. I also kinda want to return to my original thing, or what it was a couple of years ago; making fun cute posts about my interests, essays definitely, fanfic obviously, it doesn't need to be put together it can still be my eclectic digital commonplace notebook, but just... not a faux journal either.

Something I love to see are those moodboards on Tumblr and I've done a few myself but not as an actual.... board. I know there's some apps I can use on the iPad to make collages stuff and that makes me excited, so maybe I could start making posts like that (a la Polyvore, my first social media site, always missed :'))

I guess this might be my last journal-esque post in a while? Okay writing that made my anxiety do a thing (*shushes anxiety creature clinging to my brain*) IT IS NOT A LAST POST OF ANY KIND

But yeah I miss the artsy, literary vibes of curling up with my notebook on a cold day, so that'll be my new habit Insha'Allah. New, old habit. I feel like one thing Tumblr did do is train me to be okay with imperfect and messy, I feel like the reason my journal writing dropped off last time was because I was trying to force it so much. Over the past few years I've gotten so creative and loosened up a lot, so I'm hoping it'll show in my journal. Furthermore, the last time I was writing a journal, I really didn't have much to talk about because I was so 1. closed off and 2. limited in my hobbies and creative practices, I didn't have things to write about, I had just lost horse riding and I was consumed with studies only... I'm hoping there'll be a bigger difference now.

A part of me feels sort of nervous, I... only ever kept a journal during dark periods of my life too. I don't have the best associations to it, and even if I'm going through some rough times now, I don't really consider it a dark time... my anxiety brain is kind of overheating and going "but bad things!" and I know that's not rational. We should always think the best of what Allah has written for us, having good thoughts of Allah and having a more hopeful outlook on life is the best thing to do so I'll try to hold that in my heart more. If I find it's a bit too scary at first, that's fine I can just stick to prioritising my religion and health and hobbies, it'll follow naturally Insha'Allah i just need to not put pressure on myself.

I think I'll probably spend a lot less time online overall, just because I want to spend that time on all my other interests, not to mention I want to actually put time into making a proper online presence for myself as an artist.

Right now I wanna lie down and read for a chunk of time :D so I'll do that

[majachee]

did you say….a power rangers x td au?

IVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE ONE BUT HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU I owe my life to you power rangers was the shit

please yap about it I’m begging

IT CAME TO ME IN A VISION EARLY ONE MORNING, AND IT HASN'T LEFT MY BRAIN.

I am writing a fic about it, though it isn't my number 1 priority wip atm cuz its just smth silly and self-indulgent, but because I now know there's someone out there REALLY DIGGING THIS IDEA, it'll be moved up on my list by a few notches lol

This AU is heavily focused on comedy and action, so rather than assigning TD characters to PR roles that they'd actually fit, I went with what would be REALLY FUNNY to write about.

So the Rangers consist of Harold (red), Duncan (Black), Noah (blue), Courtney (yellow), and Heather (pink).

These guys were assigned to work on a lab/project for their science class, specifically on the effects of pollution, littering, and climate change. No take-backsies, they're stuck with eachother and 4/5 of these guys don't want to fail... 4/5 of these guys are also assholes.

After some healthy doses of bitching, they agree to meet up and study an abandoned rig. But GASP! They get attacked by some guys... made of putty? Damn dude that's CRAAAAAAZYYY

... this is specifically based on the MMPR tv show, and I'm very tempted to draw the putty monsters exactly like how their costumes look in the show (silver fullbody suits with seams visible and monster claws/masks.) Listen, the putty monster costumes bring me A LOT OF JOY, I genuinely love this show dO NOT @ ME (unless its for mmpr fanart... please @ me...)

Anyways, these assholes fumble through the fight: Harold shows off the skills he learned at Defensive Steve's Defense Class, Noah gets thrown off a small cliff because he weighs less than a paper weight, Courtney feels the exciting rush of bloodlust for the first time... Normal stuff, really!

Of course, this ends up with all 5 of them being summoned (lazer kidnapped) to Power Rangers Headquarters! And it's revealed that Zorgon's role was taken by Chris McClean I'm SORRY. Look, it's funny. He has the same personality he does in canon, but instead of running a reality TV show centered around teens, he has to babysit a small group of teens who hate eachother. This will be really funny in execution, I promise.

Some of the kiddos have a few words to say about the Dinozords... cuz half of them aren't even dinosaurs. Also, they do NOT like the idea of being forced to work together on a color-coded superhero team of all things!

Drama Bot is Alpha, it focuses on the team's publicity ratings.

Rita Repulsa? Meet Blainely McBlamey!! SELF EXPLANATORY!!

I love Rita Repulsa, so Blainely fans consider this a very high honor.

The Green Ranger is Alejandro.

I plan on having the AU mostly focus on campy episodic adventures with some character development sprinkled in, and having the more important PR plots be... well... important and more thoroughly executed, if I ever get around to it.

As for the main gang themselves?

Harold is quite stoked and honored about being a superhero, and quickly ends up being the team leader and team morale – due to his smarts, and quick-to-forgive personality. He doesn't take shit from anyone, but he also won't hold grudges, especially on the battlefield... Though he does have a slight problem with going on long tangents about certain factoids (same...)

He has a vast array of skills and knowledge at his disposable... It all depends on how/when he uses said skills lmao. So far he's probably the least developed one in this AU, right next to Duncan. That'll change when I write more of them.

Courtney? Oh... Oh you KNOW she likes being a Power Ranger. She preaches about the importance of morals, and upholding laws, and how some people ought to respect the responsibilities that come with being a Power Ranger... and some people are more deserving of being recognized as heroes than others. Courtney I love you and I hope I do you justice... mwah... She very much likes taking the lead, and claims that she should be the team leader... and valedictorian, and class president... Oh yeah, you KNOW she worries about her grades a lot, especially after becoming a Ranger. She becomes a lot more productive with her passion as the story goes on, and learns to trust and respect her teammates.

Noah takes on the role of reluctant tactician... Aka the smartass. Physical activites aren't his forte, and he plans on keeping it that way. He relies on his Zord the most, and when that isn't available he resorts to evasive maneuvers and hiding while the other guys handle it. Him staying on the sidelines, however, does lead to him being more observant to the enemies' weaknesses, which will eventually lead to him having a more active role in the team as the main tactician. I'd imagine once that happens, he'll have a lot of interesting back-and-forths with Harold and Courtney. Still a sarcastic, laidback asshole, but more active in his participation when it comes to the team.

Duncan... is more aligned with his season 1 and early season 2 personality. No cheating or love triangles here. He is still an ASSHOLE, though, especially to Harold and Noah. They don't take his shit. I dont have much to say about him yet iM SORRYYYYYY

Asshole punk with a heart of gold... that's his schtick alright...

HEATHER MY BELOVED. She looks hella good in pink and she knows it. She doesn't like being a part of this team, but by god will she put the effort in, because she doesn't want to die to some clay-freak. Her zord-buddy is the pterodactyl, which she finds to be quite convenient, considering it's on the smaller side and can fly, very easy for aerial advantage. Very hellbent on defeating Blainely McBlamey, because once she's defeated they can all go on with their lives. Presumably... evil grin...

I don't know how to really put it in more fancy words, but like... Heather is the most active participant along with Harold and Courtney. She's very headstrong, tends to butt heads with Courtney a lot (not only are they both stubborn, but they also both view themselves as the leader of the group. Nobody realizes it's Harold, not even Harold himself, dramatic irony at its finest.)

Everyone on the team loses their shit when Alejandro (the enemy[tm]) gets a frickin' DRAGON-ZORD of all things.

If yiu have questions about specific characters or MMPR episodes, I'll do my best to answer lol

[robinswrites]

About Me

Hi! My name's Robin, and after years of writing and posting fanfic (on a different account, which I will be continuing with), I've decided to start trying to get my original fiction published. I am A Trans who doesn't much care what pronouns/gendered terms you use for me as long as you're not being deliberately insulting. The various stories I'm writing or want to write vary in genre from fantasy to science fiction and horror, but they're all queer (in different ways, because queerness isn't necessarily approached in SF/F cultures in the same way as in our own, and they don't necessarily fit the often very romance-focussed conventional ideas of what queer rep looks like, but it is present in everything I write).

I am an adult, and my writing is aimed at adults (I've noticed a few people getting their stories labelled as YA when they're really not aimed at that audience at all, so I thought I'd make that clear right from the start), but I'm not writing anything so explicit that I'd object to someone under 18 following me if they're interested in my stories. I will use tags and TWs on my posts--feel free to let me know if I forget.

WIPs

My three main WIPs are novels that I intend to publish (I'm an incurable WIP-hopper and have been alternating between writing bits of each of these for years...), so I'm not going to be posting the stories themselves online, but I will be sharing character and setting info, discussing progress, taking part in the usual writeblr ask events, etc. One is a deliberately over-the-top space opera sci-fi, one is a modern-day fantasy, and the other a mediaeval fantasy. At some point, they might even have titles. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I'm also sometimes going to be writing short stories and submitting to anthologies and magazines--I'll post updates on where to find any that get accepted.

And at some point soon, a free short story will be going up here as a taster of my work!

I'm also currently doing a major rewrite of the plot outline for a webcomic I initially plotted out as a teenager--once I've got the story to make sense, I'm hoping to start drawing and posting some stuff for that.

What else?

I'm hoping to use this account to follow and get to know other authors, to follow and interact with publishers, take part in any writing events that look interesting--and also to some extent for general blogging.

You'll probably see some reblogs of gifs of films I like, and other mostly-on-topic reblogs (I'm not going to use this account for random memes).

I might share music I've been listening to, or sometimes post about anything interesting I've been doing/places I've been going. I do aim to stick to interesting stuff--I'm not going to be blogging about what I ate for breakfast, but if there's something that I think really would interest SF/F fans and writers, I might do a blog post, especially if I got some cool photos, instead of getting home and thinking too late "I really should have taken some photos of that [supposedly haunted secondhand bookshop / sword I was tempted to buy in an antique shop / whatever]".

Fandom stuff and other "general nonsense" posts and reblogs will stay on my other account.

Looking forward to sharing what I do here on writeblr and getting to know more original fiction writers in this community!

[saysike-skedoodles]

Those Are Some Funny Looking Eyes

[BTW- if you're an account that does NSFW/ Fetish content, I kindly ask for you to not interact with my work. Please don't take this the wrong way, I respect your interests, but I'm uncomfortable with that content and wish to not engage with it :] ]

---

oh boy this art will probably bring about a blocklist for me if any creeps find this-

---

Sorry had to say that- ANYWAYS- SMILER ART ONCE AGAIN!!! SEE?? SEE??? I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA DRAW THE RIDE SOULS MORE!! I had this idea for a good bit and didn't get around to it until now. I really wanted to lean in on that spooky factor that I always try to achieve with Smiler art. Thye're really meant to be that encapsulation of the weird and spooky side to old Disney films (stuff like Pink Elephants- yeah- those- I know it's not that scary but still some trippy stuff). It also all kind of ties into their original inspiration being The Smiler ride. That ride has some pretty creepy theming (that I absolutely LOVE- can you tell I'm a horror fan?) So there's that little homage to it too. Honestly I'm really happy with how the background turned out. I really wanted it to have that effect of everything else around Smiler is sorta fizzling out into blurry colours as someone (whoever it may be idk) continues to stare into Smiler's eyes. NOT a good idea whatsoever by the way, if you do that you'll end up having a not so fun hallucination of seeing everything melting around you into colourful neon paint. Yeah, no, sorry I'd much rather not have mental scarring HAHA. Like yes I know it's tempting with the bright colourful eyes but trust me DON'T. JUST DON'T PLEASE. Don't let that smile fool you they're not as safe to be around.

---

Actually just don't find yourself in the Ride Souls realm to begin with- other than Smiler there's a lot of other Wonderland logic things there that could be potentially dangerous to outsiders-

---

Deviantart

Tumblr

Art Tumblr

Youtube

TMM Official Tumblr

Newgrounds

---

[all content I post is automatically 13+ if not stated in the title or the content itself]

[parkouringrabbit]

Snippet Sunday

Umm, I've never done this before, and this is actually my first actual post on tumblr. *Clears throat* hello to my like, 3 followers? Yea, you there, how's it going? 👉 👈 Oh, heres one @hylianworrier (I think I'm supposed to tag you for tagging me, right?)

Erm, I don't have much going on, I got this side durge fic, which is a little dark. It's probably gonna be a while before it goes anywhere, but you can have a bit of it if you'd like.

Modern AU, a durge named Jareth (Justin) and Gale, who is the librarian at Blackstaff university. Jareth struggles with voices in his head and a dark past, and he draws to keep himself distracted. He finds peace in the library and with a certain librarian.

Gale ponders Araj’s offer. Tempting as it was, there was no guarantee what she told him was even the truth. A wicked woman, but like a witch in the woods with a poisoned apple, he was tempted. What if that apple was a cure? Not even that, a simple extension. An extension of his mother’s life, wilting away like a long neglected sunflower that had done nothing but stretch for the sun and give others a glimpse into what true beauty was. Was he willing to bite that apple, soiling his own values? Maybe, just maybe. A small price to pay. He would lay stricken and cursed encased in a glass coffin, fooled by a magic wishing apple, all for the chance of ensuring that sunflower had the ability to touch the sun a few more times. The possibility of it being truly nefarious was very probable, but if he had learned anything in his 40 years on this earth, is that there is no such thing as absolutes. There’s always a gray area.  A paper falls next to Gale from seemingly out of nowhere. It startles him, and he sits back slightly. He glances at it briefly; it’s a highly detailed sketch of the library, viewed from the entrance. Turning, he looks up to a tall figure looking over him. It’s the man from yesterday, the same emotionless expression on his face. Justin, he remembers.  Gale is a little speechless, turning back to grasp the cartridge paper in his hands. The details are remarkable, from the diffuser on his desk to the number of shelves on either side of  the room. The floor to ceiling windows lining the back of the library are also here, a birchwood tree visible through the glass. From his  recollection, Gale only remembers the man visiting the library once. How had he remembered such painstaking details of the setup? Gale set the paper down, turning to Justin. “Remarkable, how did you manage to get every single detail in here? Is this what you were drawing yesterday?” Justin shook his head, “no. I drew it this morning.” Gale raised his eyebrows, “you have quite the talent. I’m impressed.” He looked around the break room, “what are you doing in here, anyway? This area isn’t for students.” Justin shifted, considering his question, “sorry. I didn’t know.” Gale sighed, “it’s fine. Thank you for showing me this, though.” He hands the paper back. “Keep it, ‘s yours.” Justin turned, leaving the room as quietly as he entered it.  Gale watched a little dumbfounded as Justin went back to the table he sat at the previous day, assuming his hunched over position. Gale studied him curiously as he flipped through a book and reached into his pocket. It was a new pencil, fresh and not within an inch of its life like the previous pencil had been. Justin opened his sketchbook and began diligently marking, seemingly lost within the pages.