#i'm super excited ab it

[yuukimiyas]

g'night everybunny! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა sending you all the sweetest of dreams & my whole heart!! ilyasm!! sleep tight!! <33

[alex-just-vibing]

sometimes I wish I wasn't the academically gifted child...

[gyuswhore]

You said the second of October I feel lied to 🫠 WHERE IS HITS DIFFERENT I NEED MY GYU DOSAGE STAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also not pressuring you i waited a whole week but THEN COULDNT TAKE IT )

FKJVSKJF IM SORRY

in my defense it said est. so really it was just a rough guess

fr though, im stupid and i completely forgot that i had a research paper due this week AND a midterm so i had to delay it but i made a post about it and im rlly rlly sorry bc that is totally my own fault KNFKJSNGFJ

finished my paper a couple hours ago and have been writing non stop since, hoping i can get it out by Monday but.........I'm not gonna make any promises bc I'm scared yall are actually gonna come for me 😭😭😭

its nearly done though!!!so dw theres not a lot left to write so hopefully i can crack down and get it done soon!!!

[slashercult]

pick an image to find out how your future spouse is with you

reminder that not all of the messages in this reading may apply to everyone. so with that i urge you to take what resonates and leave the rest. don't force anything if it does not fit. this reading is mainly just for fun. don't forget to follow or reblog if you want to see me do more readings like this.

pile one

this person is obsessed w you, like they are in LOVE love. & i dont mean in like a creepy "they are never going to leave you alone" type of obsessed, more like you are their favorite person ever and they love hanging out w you all the time. some drake lyrics were coming thru while doing this reading: "everybody has an addiction, mine happens to be you." i feel like very rarely will this person ever not get excited to just be in your presence during your whole marriage. like i can still picture them looking at you the same way they did on your wedding day even when you're both old n grey. they also happen to be a huge romantic so it makes a lot of sense. whenever they have good news they rush to tell you bc they want you to be the first person to share their happiness with. they're overall very sweet, i don't see them being the jealous type - i think they trust you enough to be scared of you going off with some other person. and you'll never even think about anyone else when you're with them because they treat you so well.

pile two

this person's love language is deff physical touch and it'll show when you're around them. they love hugging you and being intimate and doing all that sort of stuff. they honestly do not care where you both are because nothing is going to stop them from giving you forehead kisses or hugs. they love the way that you smell, it reminds them of walks in nature and pieces from their childhood. they love teasing you as well, they're very affectionate w you. they're incredibly supportive and also humble. i see you both being on a ton of trips, particularly road trips, but normal traveling is also coming through. i feel this person may not be as outspoken ab how much they love you, like they won't outright say "i think you're the most beautiful person i know" to you but don't worry bc they definitely think that you are. they have a very unique way of showing their love and i feel that you are someone who tends to pay more attention to details than others which makes you perfect for this person because while others may overlook or misinterpret them, you see them for who they are.

pile three

this person is super fun to be around, like they have the best energy ever. & i dont mean in a "they're always the life of the party" way, more like they make even the smallest moments feel special. i feel like whenever you're having a bad day, this person knows exactly how to cheer you up without even trying. they're the kind of person who surprises you with little thingamabobs and trinkets all the time just to see you smile. like they'll randomly bring you food that you like without you even asking them. they also happen to have a great sense of humor (that's kind of subtle but you like it) so you'll always be laughing a lot together. they’re overall very supportive of you, i don’t see them being the type to criticize your dreams. you'll always feel appreciated bc they will never take you for granted. though his laid-back and relaxed personality are behaviors you see often, you know your future spouse better than anyone. they're very inspiring and honestly i feel like you both will work on a project together bc you share similar dreams (i'm seeing some sort of art form, probably like writing or smth along those lines)

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed or resonated please heart and reblog so i can do more of these readings.

[taiyaakii]

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ streamer hc's ! . . . ( 西村力 )

— pairing: 西村力 x reader — contains: fluff — now playing: 一子青葉

Bro's definitely the type to stream for shits and giggles

Like yeah he likes streaming but he never takes anything srsly

Probably streams Genshin or overwatch, perhaps the occasional fortnite if Jake begs him enough to play

The first time he introduced you on stream was most likely an accident... Like you brought him food, not knowing he was streaming and he was just like "You guys thought i was single but I'm not cause I'm super hot and cool and have a super hot and cool girlfriend"

Fan's loved you obviously, and since they loved you so much he decided to keep having you on stream and videos

Honestly, he wanted to introduce you sooner but didn't get the chance to talk to you ab it, was kinda worried you wouldn't be up for it

Very relieved (and very happy) when you said you wanted to do more stuff with him

He started doing date vlogs

He didnt record all of your guys' dates cause he wants at least a little privacy, especially on more romantic dates

but def records the silly dates like going to the arcade or sum

If he's feeling clingy and you want to be in stream he'll have you just chill on his lap as he plays

Streamings probably one of the only places he's ok with pda...

especially because of all the girls that flirt with him in chat LMFAO

Most definitely jumped with excitement when you asked to do a baking stream with him

You guys baked strawberry - choco muffins one time and he got flour literally everywhere... naturally he put some in your hair and on your face which started a dual while the muffins were baking

Fans would always comment on how soft he is for you, especially compared to how he usually acts

he def gets all flustered and tells you to ignore chat cause they 'don't know what they're talking ab'

Niki's not a very clingy person when in front of other people but on stream he'll put his head on your shoulder (if your on his lap) or he'll let you play with his hair and hold his face in your hands just mindlessly

The main reason he's okay with it on stream is cause he sees all the comments flirting with you and so he'll smirk every time you kiss his head or call him baby

After awhile of being in his content, you'd get flirty comments on insta and shit and he would ALWAYS be the first to be like "that's my gf" with 13 heart eye emojis or he'd fight with the other dudes in the comments

If you lose the 50/50 for a character you wanted on your acc, he'd grind to get it on his acc since you play on his acc most of the time anyway

his genshin acc is practically just a farming ground for all the cute characters he knows you want

100% streamed for like a solid 5 hours trying to get kokomi for you... lost the 50/50 and so he whaled and just bought enough primos to get her

he loves showing you off on stream

And he most definitely loves having you in his content but if you were to get even one hateful comment or gross dm he'd immediately take down everything with you in it

even if you said he didn't need to

He loves you and is in no way going to let you be harassed and insulted online like that

Probably streams an explanation after fans asked ab you in every single stream

"She is NOT coming back till yall stop acting like incels"

and he is VERY srs ab it

doesnt even let you show your face once until he's sure you won't get any insults or anything

would eventually bring you back but would have a very long talk with his fans beforehand ab how they need to be on their best behavior

tldr; he loves you very much, he loves having you in his content, would totes let you take over stream whenever you wanted, would delete all his content and acc's in an instant if you asked him to for any reason, just completely whipped for you and its obvious

@ featki

[kayhi808]

First Crush - Happy Birthday Abby Rose

Abigail Rose is turning 4 today! Daycare agreed to let her bring snacks to celebrate with her class in the morning. "Mama! Don't forget my treats!"

"I'm not going to forget. But you do need to come here and put on your shoes." Abby waddles over & you lift her onto the coffee table across you. Groaning, "You're getting so big! What are you? 11?"

Giggling, "No, Mama! I's 4!"

"4? My lord, just yesterday you were my little baby," tying up her shoes.

Reaching out to squeeze your face between her palms, "I's always your baby."

You turn your head to kiss her palm, "You're right. You're always my baby." You pull her over onto your lap and you give her a hug. "Happy Birthday, my baby."

"Tank you!"

There's a knock at the door, "Oh! Who could that be?"

Abby runs to the door yelling, "Who is it?"

"It's Bucky & Uncle Steve."

"Mama!" Jiggling the door, "Opens it, pwease!"

You open the door, "Hey guys, what are you doing here?"

"Hey, doll," dropping a kiss on you. "I heard it was someone's birthday." Abby starts jumping excitedly.

"Happy Birthday, Y/N!" Steve hugs you.

"No-no! It's mines bertday." Abby runs to Steve tapping his leg. "Uncle Steve? It's mines one."

"What? Are you sure? I thought it was Mama's."

"Uh-uh, it's mines!"

Steve grabs her and throws her up in the air, "I tricks you!" Catching her in a hug. "I knew it was your birthday!"

Abby throws her head back laughing, "You tricks me!" Hiding her face in her hands, "You did it."

"Happy Birthday, Abs!" Kissing her cheek, "I'd never forget my favorite niece's birthday."

Bucky takes her from Steve, "Happy Birthday, Abby Rose."

"Tank you!" She hides her face in Bucky's neck. "Uncle fooled-ed me so good."

Whispers in her ear, "Then we'll just have to come up with better tricks."

"C'mon, we need to get going." You point to the kitchen, "I've got fruits, cupcakes and cookies and a bag of plates and napkins." Bucky puts Abby down and him and Steve collect everything from the kitchen.

*******

Abby is all smiles and practically skips all the way to school. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"I get my bertday at scoon."

"Yes, so you can celebrate with your friends."

"And tonights?"

"Tonight, the 4 of us will go to dinner remember? The place with the fancy chocolate dessert."

"Flambu!!"

"Uh, fondue. Close."

Abby laughs, "Oh yea, fondue."

You reach daycare and Abby runs off excited to see Chloe and Mia. "Hey Ms. Grace, good morning. Where should they put these?"

Grace's eyes immediately are drawn to Steve and a rosy blush covers here cheeks which doesn't go unnoticed by Bucky. "Oh, you can place them on the table in the back. I have it set up there."

Steve follows Grace to the back and Bucky hisses at you. "I told you! Steve and Ms Grace got something going on!"

You laugh, "Would that be so bad?"

"No. I'm just saying that I was right!"

"Ok, honey, you're right. You're a super sleuth."

******

Abby runs to the back of the class with Steve and Ms. Grace. "Happy Birthday, Abby!"

"Tank you so much! Uncle Steve did you ask her?"

"Ask me what?" Grace looks between Abby's chubby cheeked smile to Steve's slightly confused one.

"Uncle Steve wants yous to comes to my bertday dinner tonight. We going to have flambu!" Abby claps with excitement.

"Abs, fondue."

"Oh yeas, fondue. It's chocolate and you dip stuffs in it! Pwease come, Ms Grace." Abby jumps up and down.

Steve smiles at her, "C'mon, you can't disappoint the birthday girl. Or her Uncle."

Blushing, "Thank you Abby. I'd love to come."

Abby does a fist pump, "Yes! I'm gonna tell Mama!"

******

"Mama?"

"Yes baby?" Bucky leaves to drop his bundle off at the back table.

"Can Ms Grace comes to my bertday dinner? I already asks her."

"Abigail! You are supposed to ask me first. What if I were to tell you 'no'? What would you do. Now?"

"Um. Say pwease?" Abby hadn't thought that far and now looks worried. "I asks hers to make Uncle Steve happy."

"Uncle Steve, huh?"

Abby nods, "He wikes her and she wikes him."

Kneeling down to draw Abby near, "I guess we can help them out a little, huh?"

"Oh yes, Mama! We needs to." Abby hugs you, squishing your cheeks together. "They's so happy." Giving you a loud kiss on your cheek.

You look over to Steve and you see him and Bucky talking to a kid. "Abby? Who's Bucky talking to?"

"That's Justin wit the big forehead."

You hurry to the back of the room while Abby returns to Chloe and Mia.

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly

[txjis]

Can you do a toji shot that includes a oral male receiving? I'm just asking for that, the rest can be whatever you want, just that 😭, pleasee idk why im thinkin so much in blowjobs 😞

ABSOLUTELY. I HOPE I DID U PROUD.

cw: toji x fem!reader , oral (m!receiving) , light face fucking , petnames (baby , pretty baby) , cum eating , that’s kinda it it’s just a BJ , lmk if i missed any! 1k

a/n: i wrote this at my brother bday party LOLLL so pls ignore if it’s not super good or kinda rushed 😔 beta read by @fictionalwench ❤︎︎

you find yourself on your knees in front of toji, your breath quickening as you anticipate the pleasure to come. the room is dimly lit, creating an intimate atmosphere, perfect for the lustful encounter you're about ready to indulge in. you've always had a thing for older men, and toji, with his rugged good looks and powerful presence, is the epitome of your fantasies.

leaning forward, you reach out to trace your fingers along his defined jawline. his skin feels warm and smooth against your touch. you can't help but admire the scar on his lip, a faint reminder of his mysterious past. toji's intense green eyes watch your every move, making your heart flutter with desire. he exudes a raw, untamed energy that both excites and intimidates you.

as your hand travels down his strong neck, you gently tug on the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer. the scent of his cologne invades your senses, a musky aroma that ignites a burning desire within you. toji's breath is hot against your face as he leans in, his lips brushing against your ear,

"you know what you want, don't you, baby?" his deep voice sends shivers down your spine. you nod eagerly, your hands now bold enough to slide underneath his shirt, exploring the firm muscles of his chest and abs. toji's body is a masterpiece, hard and chiseled, a testament to his years of disciplined and strenuous work. you can feel his heart pounding beneath your palms, beating in rhythm with your own growing lust. his skin feels like silk over steel, and you can't resist the urge to leave a trail of kisses along his collarbone.

"mmm... that's it," he encourages, his hands gripping your hair gently. he guides your lips lower, and you eagerly oblige, kissing and sucking on his sensitive spots. your mouth leaves a wet trail on his skin as you make your way down, eventually reaching the waistband of his pants. with deft fingers, you unbutton and unzip his pants, revealing the bulge in his boxers, straining against the fabric. you glance up, your eyes locking with his, seeking permission, and he gives you a seductive smirk.

"you know what i want, baby. show me how bad you want it." his voice is a husky command that sends a rush of heat between your thighs. without further prompting, you take him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock, tasting the first drops of his pre-cum. toji groans in response, his hand tightening in your hair as he encourages you to take more of him. you moan softly around his length, the vibrations driving him wild. he's thick and long, and you struggle to take him all, but the challenge only fuels your desire.

expertly, you suck and bob your head, creating a steady rhythm, your hand stroking the base while your mouth works the head. toji's breathing grows heavier, his hips moving in sync with your suckling. his hand leaves your hair, moving to the back of your head, and he begins to guide your pace, taking control.

"that's it... take it all, baby. yeah, you like my dick, don't you?" he grunts, his voice raw with desire. his grip tightens, and he starts to thrust his hips, fucking your mouth with abandon. your eyes water slightly at the force of his penetration, but you welcome the dominance he exerts, craving to please this powerful man. toji pulls your hair gently, signaling for you to look up. you obey, your eyes meeting his fierce gaze.

"i'm gonna use that pretty throat of yours... you like it when i take control, don't you, pretty baby?" he asks, his tone demanding an answer. you can only manage a muffled moan of assent, your eyes pleading for him to continue. he reads your eagerness accurately, a satisfied smirk crossing his face. with no further warning, he grabs your hair firmly and starts fucking into your mouth with purpose. his cock slides deep into your throat, the head hitting the back of your mouth, triggering your gag reflex.

he shows no mercy, pounding into your mouth with primal ferocity. your eyes water, and your throat burns, but the sensation is strangely thrilling. toji's dominance overpowers you, and your body responds, your pussy growing wetter with each ruthless thrust into your mouth. you can sense his control, his precision, as he uses your mouth for his pleasure, each withdrawal followed by a brutal plunge into your throat.

toji's grunts echo in the room, mixing with your muffled noises of pleasure and discomfort. your eyes roll back as you surrender to the powerful waves of pleasure and pain, your pussy throbbing in unison with the pace he sets. you feel so deliciously used, owned by this virile man, and you love every second of it.

just when you think you can't take any more, toji's thrusts become more urgent. his cock swells in your mouth, and he unleashes a torrent of hot cum down your throat. he fills your mouth with his essence, thrusting a few more times to ensure every drop is savored. you swallow greedily, reveling in the taste of him, continuing to suckle gently as his orgasm subsides.

toji slowly withdraws, his softening cock gliding from your lips with a wet, lewd sound. he eases you back gently, his hand caressing your cheek tenderly, his wild eyes now softened by the post-orgasmic haze.

"fuck, baby... That was incredible," he pants, his breath still ragged. "you suck cock like a dream... exactly what I needed."

you feel a sense of pride and satisfaction in pleasing this enigmatic man. he reaches down, caressing your cheek, then cups your chin, tilting your face up for a deep, passionate kiss. you taste yourself on his lips, a reminder of the raw, unforgiving pleasure you just shared.

as the kiss deepens, you sense toji's renewed desire stirring. his hands wander, exploring your body, and you know that this encounter is far from over. the night has only begun, and you can't wait to explore more of toji's secrets and uncover the untamed passion that lies beneath his semi-composed exterior.

[patentedsun]

You guys I'm actually crying over chapter 204.5 (which is technically an ad for a certain company we're all boycotting btw) but ignoring the actual ad THE STORYLINE WAS SO??? GOOD???? the Natsu characterization in this was INCREDIBLE (be prepared for intense 100yq hatred) and it portrayed exactly why I fell in love with nalu in the first place....

Summary and analysis below (doesn't incl all the pages btw!!)

We start off with Lucy finding Natsu and Happy at her place, as always.

this is followed by him being like "do you think we'll peek or something" which... 100yq natsu would have... that IMPOSTER...

Anyways while she's taking a bath, Natsu and Happy are browsing around Lucy's room and find a book that stands out. (Btw right next to this book is her diary, 100yq natsu would've gone straight for that). However they end up accidentally destroying it and start panicking. They ask Lucy if they can "borrow it" and Lucy panics at first, saying it's precious and not to touch it, but relents when they say they found it "interesting".

fast forward, we see them worn out after trying and failing to find a replacement copy. ONCE AGAIN, they're doing this because it's something precious to LUCY. Not because they care about reading, or because the book has any value to them, but because they understand it's important to HER. Natsu (and Happy) going the extra mile for things that are important to Lucy is SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART of their entire dynamic.

continuing, Lucy walks into the guild and asks how they're finding the book, they say it's interesting. Lucy gets SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS and starts talking non stop ab the book. Happy asks her why this book is so important to her and...

Y I K E S.

So yeah, they ultimately decide that lying isn't it and they should apologize upfront.

this is so beautiful to me, idk like the imagery of them bowing so sincerely is so.... and like wow MASHIMA seems like natsu IS capable of acknowledging his own wrongdoings and offering genuine apologies. I'm not even talking ab the whole post tartaros situation no, I'm talking about fucking 100yq, where natsu actually physically hurts Lucy and doesn't apologize for it (AND IN FACT ITS PLAYED FOR A GAG)(IMPOSTER!!! NOT MY NATSU!!!)

Soooo Lucy doesn't take it well and runs away.

the fact that they didn't stop their search here. the fact that they EXPANDED it to other towns to try and find her the book THIS IS JUST <3333

Anyways, Lucy returns and reveals dozens of copies of the book...

My heart actually broke for her here because as someone who ig creates stuff as well, it really can be painful to have no audience interaction. And to have a book you wrote bomb like that...ouch... and of course she would've been excited, her best friends told her they found it interesting!!! my HEART. OUCH. and the sheer guilt on Natsu and Happy's faces here 😭 Once again, 100yq would've played this off for a gag...

And they all start bawling (and the ad comes in so I will stop there) but YEAH. THIS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL??? The way she's regretful too, the way they're still trying to apologize and make her feel better I'm :(. This is what makes nalu work and it feels like mashima is forgetting that ab his own work... they're both genuinely good and kind to each other... like not to get sidetracked but there has always been goofy fanservice moments but there were also so many wonderful, emotional, complex scenes with them with depth and maturity and I just feel like that's lacking now. So reading this was like getting punched in the face srsly because wow... THIS is the natsu I know and love ugh .....

[highhhfiveee]

mint

pairing: mike schmidt x blackfem!reader summary: you’re abby’s mint chocolate-loving babysitter. mike takes notice. wc: 1.3k tags: suggestiveness, swearing, fluff. *minor movie spoiler that isn’t a spoiler fr but kind of is* a/n: oi. this is my first official piece of fanfic on tumblr and i'm excited but also super nervous. i never knew what characters i wanted to write for as most of my fandoms are obsolete tbh (teen wolf and maze runner, i'm looking at you 💔) but after watching the fnaf movie and falling in love with j hutch like i'm 14 again, i wanted to try to write for mike!  i'm sorry if this story sucks tbh. i wrote it pretty quickly, did not edit it in any way (watch for grammar and spelling errors!) and i'm still trying to establish characters and plot and do all this silly billy worldbuilding, but i'll get better! i'm also taking requests for both fluff and smut, so if y'all would like to send anything for me to write, i'll def accept! like i said in my last post, i think i'm gonna redo my tumblr layout so i can feel like a true fanfic/misc blog lmao so ignore its under construction phase ((: i hope y'all enjoy this though bc i've been thinking ab mike schmidt all night 

i have sooo many ideas, but between last night and this morning, i’ve been thinking of abby’s babysitter!reader (bc fuck max). 

you’ve been channel surfing in the living room since you put abby down, working with her to lock down a nightly routine. ideally, she’d bathe, eat dinner (god willingly), brush her teeth, and then you’d be able to get her to lay in bed and doze off. some nights, this required dessert. 

“you just brushed your teeth though. it’s gonna taste gross.”

“not if it’s one of those mint chocolate things you always have.” you straighten up, eyes squinted at the child before you; she meant the small, sometimes melted, squares of Andes mint chocolate you always kept. they’d always been your favorite, a guilty pleasure in this fucked up world. 

you hadn’t been babysitting abby for long, and you didn’t realize that she'd been watching you crush the chocolates like it was light work. they were easy to eat, and once you had one, you found out how easy it was to eat another one, and then another one, and then another one until there was a mountain of crinkled foil next to your phone and chocolate smeared on your face. 

"please, y/n. just one," you didn't exactly know if it was a lie. abby was convincing, able to break you down with her eyes, pleading and puppy-dog like. "please." 

you cave, leaning down to brush her hair back from her forehead and place a gentle kiss on the skin. with pursed lips, you whisper, "fine, but tomorrow night. i have to get some more." 

abby does nothing but smile, eyes fluttering closed. you stay with her for a bit like you always do--watching the way her chest rises and falls, and how her features twitched with slumber. features scarily similar to mike's. 

of course she'd look like mike. they were siblings, no shit, but the resemblance occupied your brain. there was sweet abby, with her colorful clothes and scribbled drawings and persuasive aura, and then there was mike. 

you shake your head, giving abby another kiss before exiting her room. you didn't need to think about mike. he wasn't what you were here for. you'd come to abby's school as an aide and after she'd privately confided in you about her home life, you knew you had to help her. you would do anything for her, even if that meant taking care of her while suppressing the overwhelming school girl crush you had on her older brother.

mike was a bit older than you, which didn't scare you at all. guys in their early 20s were rarely mature, doing anything they could just to fuck; but guys in their late 20s, mike specifically, had only ever shown you couth, surprisingly. 

for nearly two months, five mornings a week, the sound of the door being unlocked would ring out. you'd turn to see sunshine pouring into the living room, enveloping mike's brooding figure in a radiant golden glow.

he'd hang his coat on the wall hooks, drop his bag down to his feet, and give you a small but warm smile. you'd try to not to embarrass yourself as you two made small talk, packing up your things.

you always left unscathed, but recently it'd been hard. you were always thinking about him, dreaming about him even; how his hair would feel between your fingers, how his hands would feel on your face, how his face would feel between your thighs. 

the thought is washed away, drowned out by the sound effects of a loud infomercial when the door opens, and you're turning and squinting against the wash of pale yellow on your face. mike steps forward with a, "hey, y/n" and you meekly raise your hand to wave. 

he hangs his hoodie up to reveal his shoulder blades flexing under an uncharacteristically tight navy blue sweater. you can't help but stare.

"just wake up?" his voice is raspy, but he's still facing the wall, rummaging in his bag for something. 

"um...yeah. brain's still turning on," you lie, tossing the thick blue blanket off your body. you didn't sleep at all, kept up with your thoughts and the last of your Andes mints (though you loved her, you couldn't give abby your last ones).

"hm," he mutters, finally turning to you but keeping his hands behind his back. something crinkles in them and you raise your eyebrow at the tired yet amused expression he takes with you. it's enough to make your body hot and you awkwardly pull at the collar of your shirt, fanning yourself off.

"hot?" the gravelly tone sends you into a giggling fit, shaking your head as you shoot to your feet. you have to leave before you do or say something you regret. 

"uh, yeah, it was s-super hot under that...um...blanket. i shouldn't have worn sweatpants to s-sleep," you stutter, nodding your head along with mike as he steps closer to you. this couldn't be the moment something happens, right? it'd been so casual between you too, very friendly, and he'd never shown any signs of trying to do anything with you before. why would he choose right now, so spontaneously? 

he stands before you, the slightest bit taller than you. you're able to see every pore, every freckle, every microscopic detail in his eyes and lips.

you open your mouth, hoping your heart doesn't fall out, to ask what's happening, when he reveals a bag of Andes mints, one bigger than you've ever seen.

your mouth stays open in surprise. "wh-"

"abby's been talking about them. i wondered where she found out about them but--" he nudges his head towards the coffee table, where a small mound of green wrappers lay. you swear under your breath, cursing yourself for not throwing them away like you usually do. 

"i'm sorry," you whisper, blushing beyond measure as you begin to frantically pack your things. "i should be more careful with that stuff."

"god, y/n, you're saying it like it's coke," mike chuckles. he sets the bag down on the couch and reaches out to you, placing his hand on yours as you shove things into your tote. "hey." 

his voice forces you to stop and look up. you melt under his stare just like you do with abby. the puppy-dog thing must run in the family.

"i feel bad about not being able to pay you yet, and i really appreciate all you're doing. abby told me that you loved those mints, so..."

"thank you, mike," you say over the sound of your pounding heart. you didn't care about the money, you didn't need it. being appreciated by someone who made your heartbeat resonate throughout your body was payment enough. "this is really sweet." 

"thank you, y/n. you don't know how much this means to me." You scoff, throwing your tote over your shoulder and looking down at your feet. 

"i'm always happy to help." you and mike stand facing each other for what feels like hours, the air as thick as molasses between you. his eyes were squinted, low and dark and intriguing.

you wished you could read his mind. what was he thinking? did his heart do the same thing as yours, wacking against his ribcage with no end in sight? did he stay up thinking about you when he was supposed to be sleeping, imagining how you felt, what you sounded like, how you tasted---

"see you later tonight?" his voice rocks you out of your trance. he's not thinking about you. he's tired, wondering when you'll leave so he can fall into his bed and doze off. 

"yeah. tell abby i said i'll see her tonight." your smile is tight as you exit the house, cursing at yourself as you get into your car. 

you didn't know how long you could go on like this. 

ya, i know this sucks and it isn't really anything but we're gonna work our way through these fics and blurbs to really develop a cute relationship (,: i will still be writing other fics for mike, and possibly using another babysitter!reader in a different universe, but as for now, we're gonna be rocking with these two (: (thinking that we’ll label her as 🌱🍫!reader)  all notes are appreciated (: thanks for reading!

[askinkiskarma]

Cruel Summer | Chapter I: August

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader

Word Count: 9.5k words

Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, 18+ minors DNI

Synopsis: You and Neteyam have been friends since you were children, and you taught each other everything, from English and Na'vi, to movie references and hunting, to everything about your own and the other's bodies. It was the perfect friendship-with-benefits, on paper. But how long can it last in the face of all that stands to tear it apart?

A/N: I'm so excited to say my new Neteyam series is officially here, and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!! This was for some reason one of the easiest and at the same time, one of the hardest piece i've ever written, like some parts came to me almost instantly and others I STRUGGLED WITH, besties. I hope it's not super disjointed and that you're as excited as me to embark on this journey. Thank you for your patience and can't wait to hear your thoughts. As always, I deeply appreciate your replies, reblogs, likes and follows, they mean so much x ly besties xoxo

: ̗̀➛ listen to August here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)

Your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it

Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you

There was so much about you and Neteyam’s relationship, if you can even call it that, that was wrong and unsightly, that was forbidden and hidden. But, as you stood in the forest, propped on your elbows, taking in the sun shining brightly through the leaves and his toned, azure back, on which patterns of the forest branches rippling in the breeze formed, you couldn’t care less if you tried. In these moments, fleeting and irreplaceable, life was everything you’ve ever wanted, more than you could have ever dreamt, and enough to keep you going. In these moments, there were no humans and Na’vi, no impending doom, no animosity over your presence in the village, no hatred emanating from Neytiri’s entire being whenever her intense and prying eyes spotted you or Spider in the crowd or amongst her kids, no woman that would soon be bearing Neteyam’s children, there was nothing else, but him and you and the promise of hushed confessions and wandering hands, of lingering stares and breakable heaven. 

You couldn’t help be drawn by the silent invitation of his body, so tempting and beautiful, so big and different to yours, but just similar enough to allow for… certain enjoyable, mind-blowing pastime activities that were sure to occupy the time and every ounce of free space in your mind, and your soul, and your entire being. Your hand trailed on his back, from the nape of his neck to the band of his loincloth, moving over the scratches that you left on him just a couple hours ago, over the healed scars he got from battles and hunts that you could name and describe each of by heart, and you drew your name on his back with your fingers and the air beneath them as ink, hoping this way you’d mark him, this way you could keep him forever. Pushing the unpleasant thought aside, you playfully tugged at the purple fabric covering him. He turned around on his side to face you, his defined abs and chest fully on display, and the way he eyed you, desperate and needy, full of hunger and desire, made your stomach churn and core throb. 

“What do you think you’re doing, ma Vol?” 

Your mouth curved in a mischievous grin, which turned into a full-blown laugh as he grabbed your much smaller hands in one of his large blue ones and with very little visible effort, stretched your arms above your head and manoeuvred you on your back on the mossy, comfortable grass. He hovered over you, his smile mirroring your own from just a few moments ago, and he tapped the mask currently providing the oxygen needed to keep you alive with his index finger, the sound ringing in your ears like bells in a church. 

“I would give anything to not have this in the way right now.” 

“Me too. Death by make-out with a hot blue 9 something foot tall alien? There are worse ways to go.” 

He shook his head at you and scoffed, but you could tell he was amused. The desire you felt for him instantly diminished as the thought of the fact he would be heading home soon enough, home to his family and his new mate, crept unwelcome in the back of your mind and slowly moved forward, until it was everything, until it was the only thing. 

“Do you have to go back soon?”

He sighed and let you go, plopping himself back on the grass next to you, chest up and looking at the sky and the clouds moving above you, and all the shapes they made as they passed you by. 

“You know I do.” 

You knew. You’ve known for years, ever since the first time you and Neteyam started this game of hide and seek with the rest of the village, with each other, and with yourselves, that this was temporary, that one day, he would belong to someone else, and all you would be able to do is watch.

Salt air, and the rust on your door, I never needed anything more

Whispers of "Are you sure?", "Never have I ever before"

Your and Neteyam’s lives could not be more different. You were human, a tiny, inconsequential human, left behind after the war, unable to be hooked to cryo, so you stayed with the scientists who were fortunate enough to be allowed safe haven on this planet that was now as much their home as it was the Omatikaya’s. You knew nothing of Earth, other than stories told to you by your surrogate family and from whatever form of art they had with them, that brought them the comfort of a home long forsaken, but never forgotten. In time, it brought you comfort, too, knowing what Earth used to be like, knowing that humans were not just monsters, but had it in them to be smart, and kind, and funny, to create beautiful music, and poetry, to combine words, words that everybody had access to and everyone could speak, combine them in such a way that it brought tears in your eyes or happiness in your heart, that made you think and ponder about the meaning of growth, the meaning of love and laughter and life and death. It was beautiful, they were beautiful, and - you hoped - so were you.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

You and Neteyam shared many firsts throughout your 19 years of friendship. Despite your differences, despite your incompatibility and despite so many challenges facing you, despite both knowing it was most likely wrong and shouldn’t have happened, you always found solace in each other. You found yourselves in each other. You were each other’s first kiss, first sleep over, first flirtatious touch and first wandering hands, first make-out, first second base and first third base, first secret affair. Everything you knew about each other’s bodies, about your own bodies, you learned together. What makes each other tick, what makes each other tickle, what makes each other cum. In time, you knew everything about the other and you made sure you took advantage of that knowledge as often as you could. 

The first time you and Neteyam ever kissed was when you were both 12, both innocent children, both curious. At that time, he was not a lot bigger than you, as it turns out humans stopped growing in height a lot sooner than Na’vi did. Now, your full body reached his lower ribs, but at the time, he was only about a head taller than you. It was short and sweet, and so so innocent, and yet, it never left you. That kiss, which at the time was just fulfilling a curiosity more than anything else, started a complicated and convoluted journey that was full of potholes, full of tight swerves and icy roads, full of dangers and darkness, but a journey worth taking nonetheless, because in the short periods of clear skies and sun-kissed warmth, it had the most heavenly sights and luminous vistas, and it was everything. 

The first time you shared a bed, you were 15. Actually, a bed is a very loose term. In reality, it was just a mess of sheets in one of the recreation rooms that no other human or avatar really frequented, outside of you and Spider. It was large and tall, and had a huge screen where you usually watched movies whenever the Sullys came by to visit. Neteyam taught you Na’vi and he, being the dutiful son and soldier that he was, would come by to learn English at least once a week when he was young, knowing it would one day come in helpful against the humans. He didn’t say it, but you knew he also did it to be more like his dad, yet another way he emulated the Toruk Makto.

His favourite way to learn is with you, as you were also learning as you went along, and both of your favourite way to learn is by watching Earth videos, and movies and tv shows, and trying to figure out what the references meant, what the idioms meant, how to use slang that made no sense to your ears without the scientists explaining it to you. When you were alone, sometimes, you liked to make your own meaning for phrases, and laughed at your own little private jokes that no one else would ever be privy to. One of those evenings, that started with studying, and a marathon of Friends, ended with tangled limbs and soft snores, covered in blankets and the warmth of each other’s bodies. It was so innocent, and so childlike, and so was the second kiss you’ve ever shared, that happened in between giggles and The One Where Ross Finds Out, where the tension that erupted between Ross and Rachel and the kiss that resulted off it, prompted a philosophical discussion around physical displays of affection and what the big deal about it was. After trying it out for yourselves, you concluded it was overrated.

That didn’t last long, as your first make-out came soon after, a little less innocent and definitely less childlike. You discovered maybe there was some truth in those shows, and you discovered that you both enjoyed the tingling on your skin and the butterflies in your stomach that each other’s touch provided. That lasted for a few years, and eventually progressed into this, whatever this was. Initially, it was just curiosity. Then it became about how good release felt, how necessary it was, how much the pleasure helped both of you unwind and go about your day, forget about frustrations about the labs, and training, and parents and surrogate families, it could all be solved by each other’s bodies. It was purely self-indulgent, it was friends with benefits at its finest.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

But I can see us lost in the memory

August slipped away into a moment in time

'Cause it was never mine

But life never stopped around you, and the world didn’t stop around you, as much as it felt like it had when it was just the two of you. You both grew up, and while you were still the same human, still doing the same things and having the same limitations that would always plague you, Neteyam’s world was a constant whirlwind of which you were just a small breeze. In time, he took his Iknimaya and Uniltaron, he became a man, and a revered warrior, despite being only 19. Early last week, he even got a mate, and will soon consummate that mateship, and he will be bonded with her for life, and you will be just a part of the past, just a small reminder of his childhood, just a dull ache in a mass of growing pains. 

“What are you thinking about, ma Vol?” 

You smiled softly as his nickname pulled you out of your musings. Vol. He first called you that when you were kids, and he found out that on Earth, the eight month of the year, when you were born, was called August. The Na’vi had a name for August, and it was vospxìvol, and after the first time the word ever left his lips, so did any other name for you disappear from his mind. To everyone else, you were Y/N. To him, you were his Vol. His never-ending summer, your warmth surrounding him for all time, your day eclipsing his darkest nights. 

You wanted to be honest. To tell him what you thought about, what occupied your every other thought, what weighed on your heart so heavily it felt like it would overtake you, every day, all day, was him. It was how much, despite your unspoken agreement that this was purely physical, it got to mean more to you in time. It was how much you loved him, desperately and unconditionally, impermeably and forever. You wanted to tell him that you knew the rules, you knew that whatever this was couldn’t last, wouldn’t last, but there’s nothing more you wanted in this life than a way to make it last, to make him yours. That you curse your life every day that you will never be able to understand this world the way you were meant to, that you would never understand the bond the Na'vi have with it and with the beings in it, with each other, and that the thought of his queue, the most intimate part of him, a direct influx into his thoughts and feelings, connecting to someone else’s, made you sick to your stomach, made bile and acid gather in your mouth until it burned everything in its wake as you had to swallow you back down where it belonged. 

You felt stubborn tears pricking at your eyes and forced yourself to push them back away. Neteyam was your best friend, was the man that knew you more intimately than anyone else ever would and still, there were somethings better left unsaid, some cans of worms that would spoil even the most unfastidious of appetites. 

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine

“Just thinking about how I’m going to be able to explain all of these marks on my body, you fiend. I think I’m running out of ideas, there are only so many rashes Norm won’t get worried about, and only so many clothes that will cover all traces of you on me. I don’t have the luxury of shopping for more clothes, you know?” 

Neteyam laughed and you knew you were out of the woods and that he wouldn’t pry anymore. It was time for you to go back, time for you to deal with the unfairness of the universe in your own room, under the cover of darkness and solitude, drowning your senses in music and mindless entertainment. 

“Take me home?” 

He turned his back to you and knelt, waiting. You smiled at his unspoken way of telling you to get on his back, and obliged, attaching to him like a backpack. In reality, this was easier for him than walking next to you, as you were slow and a far cry from his nimble and athletic capabilities. Plus, it meant he got to keep you close a while longer, got to feel his heart beating on his back and your chest moving as you inhaled, and your breath in the crook of his neck. It was much better than walking. It didn’t take long for Hell’s Gate to appear into view, the big, mostly decrepit ruin of a city left behind by the humans large enough that it could be spotted from miles away. It was Jake’s decision as Olo’eyktan to have the Omatikaya village close-by, an attempt at keeping close to the scientists and uniting the two worlds, both of which you had a foot in, but nothing more - enough to not be homeless, never enough to truly belong in either.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” 

The silence was very loud, and you sighed in a desperate attempt to fill it. 

“You know you can say you’re going to see her. I’m not under any illusion that you have no contact with the woman you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with when you’re not with me.” 

It was his turn to sigh, and you found yourself regretting ever asking. 

“I know, but still…” 

“Yes?” 

“You and me… it’s… I -…” 

You chuckled bitterly. Neteyam wasn’t a man of many words, but he was a man who always knew what those words would be when they did come out of his beautiful mouth. He never blabbered, or got flustered, he was the most poised and sure of himself person you’ve ever met. And yet here he was, mind blank and uncertain tone, and you felt relieved, at least to some extent, that he wasn’t completely unaffected by this whole situation, that you weren’t going through this completely by yourself. 

“I know.”

“I love you, you know?” 

That you did know. 

Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car"

And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?

Back when I was living for the hope of it all

Neteyam’s mind tortured him today more than most other days, as so many memories of your life together enveloped him, and the warmth they provided was quickly dispersed by thoughts of a face, a new face, a known and yet strange face, the face of the woman he’s been promised to. They wrestled with images of your face, beautiful and alien, so different from everything he knew and yet so familiar, of your body that he knew so intimately, that he knew better than his own, images of it trembling under him, of your parted lips and the moans that escape it, of your eyes he dreamt about each night shut tightly as each orgasm washed over you, of your hands that always found their way to his back or his ass, pushing him deeper in you, or in his hair, pulling on it or tugging it behind his ear.

It’s been almost two years since the first time he’s known you like this. The first time, it was awkward and strange, there was so much fumbling and so much that neither of you knew, and despite how many movies you watched, there was very little information on Na’vi and human… relationships, so it took a lot of trial and error to get to where you were at now, a point of no return, a point of unspeakable pleasures and feelings that ran so deep, they’d put most oceans to shame. Feelings that he hid, because speaking them out loud would lead to only heartbreak. What you two had worked. It’s worked for so long, neither of you knew anything else. You were best friends, you knew everything about each other. So why would he ever risk it? Why would he ever ruin it, since there was no future anyway?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Neteyam knew that what you did was wrong. It was wrong, but it never felt wrong. It felt so right. Despite all of your differences, despite all of the ways you could never be together, despite the fact that he could never form tsaheylu with you, nothing compared to the feeling of you falling asleep with your limbs all over his torso, with your head in the crook of his neck. Nothing compared to the connection he felt when he sank in you and you looked in each other’s eyes, and it felt like he could hear all of your thoughts, feel everything you were feeling, and he knew you did, too. In those moments, he thinks you both knew that what you had was far away from what it was always intended to be, and far away from how simple he thought it was when you first started it.

Because now there was someone else. Another woman, a woman that he’d have to bond with, have babies with, start a family with, a woman he had to love. A woman that wasn’t you. And while the thought of it made his skin crawl, so did the thought of disappointing his parents and his clan, who he would lead one day, by refusing, by not following through, by admitting he’s been engaging in these sort of relationships with a human, an alien. A demon. His mother could barely stomach you and Spider as her kids’ friends, Neteyam knew she’d have a heart attack is she were to hear about the activities you and her son got up to on a daily basis. 

Your chuckles ceased his train of thought, and he was glad. 

“You can put me down now, Teyam.” 

The gate to the big metal complex was so close to Neteyam he could feel the smell of metal inundating his nose and coating his tongue. He hated this smell, and he hated this place. You were the only good thing about it. 

“Sorry. Got lost in thoughts.” 

He heard the unmistakable sound of an oxygen mask being removed and his heart booming in his ears as panic took over him instantly, but he had no time to react to it as you turned his face towards you and placed your lips on his in a needy, desperate kiss that made him weak in the knees, that redirected his galloping heart from panic to desire, to ache… to love. Once you broke the kiss, Neteyam watched as you gasped for air and helped you tightened the mask over your face again, and then jumped from his back and onto the ground. 

“What was that for?” 

“Just saying thank you for a good day.” 

Just saying please don’t forget me once you reach her tent tonight. 

There was still a lot of commotion in the labs as you made your way through the corridors to reach your bedroom, and despite your body telling you it’s exhausted and needs sleep, you instead put on a lab coat and joined them, since you knew that going to bed meant unnecessary suffering and putting your mind through scenarios it didn’t need to think about just yet, not when they would all become reality soon and there was no point in living through it twice. You were surprised to find Spider in one of the cell culture labs, chatting animatedly with Norm. He smiled widely as he spotted you, and you tried your best to reciprocate and push aside all the ugly feelings plaguing you. 

“Hey, everyone.”

“Hi, gorgeous.” 

You knew Spider had a crush on you, and that he has had a crush on you for a while now. You weren’t sure if the crush was on your per se, or just on the only person who shared a similar age and species with him, but you didn’t have it in you to ever question him or turn him away. He was a good friend, and a good guy, and who knows? Maybe it was fate that you two were the only human children on Pandora, maybe it was fate that you were here together at the same time. Maybe despite your mind convulsing in pain just at the thought of him, thought of anyone else but Neteyam, he was who you would end up with, your only chance at lasting love, at a family. Maybe life was less about what you want, less about what makes you happy and more about the greater good, the greater purpose, the ability to make something out of nothing. Maybe. 

“What have you been up to today, kid?” 

“Not much, just training with Neteyam. Can’t you tell by my bulging muscles?” 

Norm removed his eyes from the microscope they were glued to, in order to eye you intently up and down. 

“All I can tell is that rash is not getting any better. You need to use the hydrocortisone cream I put in your room.” 

You prayed that neither men couldn’t see the blush that made your cheeks so hot from the inside out, you were struggling to keep your hands by your side and not fanning your face aggressively. 

“Will do, Norm. Need any help?” 

He thought about it for a while, then pointed to one of the incubators. 

“You can split the cells? I was going to ask Harry to do it, but since you’re here and want to help…” 

You smile at the chance to keep your mind occupied at least for a little while, at chance to not think about whatever it was that Neteyam was doing with another girl, with someone else that wasn’t you. 

The next few weeks passed in a blur, and so much has changed in your life, it was hard to keep track. The humans have officially returned to Pandora, and in their return, obliterated endless amounts of precious forest, of natural resources, of life that will never come back, that will always be mourned and missed. You were all forced to move camp, deep in the Hallelujah mountains, where the Flux Vortex was too powerful to allow for detection. It was painful and scary, and you felt numb as you had to say goodbye to the only home you’ve known for 19 years, to the forest and to the village. You couldn’t imagine how to villagers felt, how the Sullys felt… how Neteyam felt. There was only one thing that made this time bearable, and that was the fact that Neteyam’s mateship was postponed until things settled down. It was only temporary, and it meant very little in the grand scheme of things, but you were just happy you didn’t have yet another earth-shattering event clawing at your insides, ripping you to shreds. 

The relief didn’t last long, though, as Neteyam might not be sleeping with another girl, but he was also not sleeping with you anymore, either. The move and the new quarters meant a lot less privacy and a lot less space. You were fortunate enough to have your own room in the new labs, but the room was tiny and sharing a wall with Norm and Max. Neteyam was forced to move back into his parents’ tent, which meant the two of you never got a chance to be together at night anymore. He hasn’t come to visit you since the last time he took you back to Hell’s gate, and that was almost 2 weeks ago.

 

Today, you were hoping to change that. Today, you would ask him to take you to a different floating rock, or on an Ikran ride, or anywhere else but here, in this place that felt stifling and suffocating, this place that couldn’t, wouldn’t feel like home, no matter what. You missed him. You needed him. He had been the calm in all the chaos of your mind your whole life, and especially now, the spiralling felt particularly dizzying, the current particularly hard to navigate. 

As you were mindlessly pipetting some treatments of some cells, your mind wandered to the Sullys, all of whom were away today. The kids were in the forest, exploring woods that were no longer particularly safe to navigate. You knew they didn’t care, but still couldn’t help roll your eyes at the sheer irresponsibility. They asked you to come, but getting into any more trouble with Neytiri, or risking running into any humans didn’t particularly appeal to you. On the other hand, Neteyam and his parents were on a family hunt, a sweet tradition that has begun soon after Neteyam completed his Iknimaya and continued since, running of 6 years. 

Spending time with the Sullys was for sure one of your favourite ways to pass the time. The kids have always loved and welcomed you and Spider into their lives and their family, no matter how much Neytiri might have tried to influence them otherwise. Though Kiri found Spider her closest friend, you and her still loved hanging out together, loved being in each other’s companies, loved speaking for hours on end about everything and nothing. Kiri was drawn to humans, as Lo’ak was, and they took to your culture, your different ways of being, and thinking and existing, more so than any other Na’vi you knew. You assumed a lot of it had to do with their own differences to the clan, differences that while to you were insignificant, to them and to the Omatikaya, it meant the difference between a true Na’vi and a half-breed, an alien. Their slightly atypical appearance, which they shared with Jake, could be overlooked in him, as he was the Olo’eyktan, the Toruk Makto, the man that helped Eywa save their planet and their clan from certain death, but unfortunately for both his kids, that courtesy rarely extended to them.

Neteyam and Tuk looked all Na’vi, and could both pass as twins of their mother’s appearance at different stages of her life. Neteyam was the prince of the Omatikayan rule. He was tall and handsome, he was lean and muscular, and while his face was his mother’s, his body was definitely his father’s. Neteyam was a warrior. Through and through, he was forged in fire, with metal bones and razor-sharp teeth. He was forged to be unbreakable, to be the hope of the clan, the heir to the throne, the perfect son, the greatest soldier. Neteyam was one of the youngest Na’vi to go through his second birth after completing his Iknimaya and Uniltaron. He is the last man to get a bow made from the original Home Tree, that was burned to the ground almost 20 years ago. He was the epitome of the Omatikaya, and he wore all of these hats proudly, and he fought permanently to be worthy of them. Neteyam didn’t know what it was like to disappoint his parents, or his people. Unlike Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. Because of Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. He was willing to give anything… everything up in order to live up to the unrealistic expectations placed on him, because to him, that’s the only way to live. You admired him, admired his resolve and admired his will. You didn’t understand it, but you were human. You were selfish in nature, and you didn’t think that was a bad thing. You didn’t think being a little selfish sometimes was bad. In your mind,  you shouldn’t have to live only for others. You only had one life, a short life, and that life should be lived, and that life should be enjoyed. That was a cause of a great deal too many arguments between you and your best friend, and it is something you will never see eye to eye on. 

Norm’s aggressive entrance made you yelp out in surprise, and so did his face, contorted in pain and fear, so unlike the kind, calm and chipper one you’ve gotten to know throughout the years. 

“Get ready. Jake radioed me, the kids were attacked by the humans. They’re coming back now, so let’s make sure we have supplies prepared, so we can patch them up.” 

You felt a shudder overtake your body, and your hands, holding a pipette in one hand and a centrifuge tube in the other, felt limp and weak, felt like the weight was too much for your body to reasonably take. 

You got up from your chair almost robotically, feeling our mind blank as the information stewed and settled in it, until it reached a point it was the only thing ringing through your otherwise deafened ears. 

“Come on, honey.” 

“A-are…” you couldn’t even finish the sentence, couldn’t even bring your mouth to speak the words that were haunting your soul, that were constricting your heart.You were out of your mind with worry, so much worry, it was permeating through every cell of your being and bringing out toxins you didn’t even know resided in you, poisoning your blood and and making you pant, making you want to scream in anguish at the possibility of your honorary siblings, of him, being in any way hurt, in any way touched by any of the humans. 

“I think they’re alright. A little banged up, and probably terrified, but I think they’re ok. Jake didn’t say much, so let’s be prepared for everything. Get suture kits, and gauze, get numbing cream, the works.” 

You were grateful for Norm, now and always, for how he’s been more of a father figure to you than you could have ever anticipated or even hoped for. He’s loved and cared for you and Spider like you were his own, and you will never be able to repay him for all the attention and affection, but you strived to make him proud, strived to be a good student, a good scientist, a good person, a good daughter. That’s one of the reasons why you spent a lot of your time in Hell’s gate in the adjacent forest, and less time in the village. One of the reasons. 

As you got out of the labs and were hit by the warm thin air of the Omatikaya stronghold, you gasped as your eyes landed on Neteyam, who had deep cuts that leaked blood, like your eyes were leaking tears, both dropping carelessly, his on the ground, yours gathering at the bottom of your mask. His face cleared up as it spotted you in the crowd, and a quick look of easement panned across his features, and for a second, just a second, it felt like there was no one else in this world but you two, like this planet was an empty void kept alive and spinning by the magnitude of your love, by the gravity of the feelings pulling you towards each other, electrifying the air around you.

Your feet carried you forward with a mind of their own, and before you knew it, you were running, dropping the bag of supplies on the floor and pushing people out of the way - or at least trying to, not very successful when you were as strong as a literal toddler. The relief you felt overtook all your other thoughts, all your discernment of your circumstances and you surroundings, all the self-awareness of the situation and the knowledge you had to keep your feelings under wraps. It all went out the window as you jumped in Neteyam’s arms and circled your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips and although he winced in pain, he immediately tightened his grip and you and pulled you in closer. 

You moved until you came face to face with him, and you eyed him attentively to make sure he was alright, that he was really here and safe. 

“Are you -?” 

“I’m fine, ma Vol.” he smiled at you, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something by the way his eyes moved from yours to behind you. You were scared to follow his gaze, terrified to look behind you and see Neytiri glowering at you, and the confused, maybe scandalised faces of the rest of the Na’vi. So you didn’t. You got down and moved in line to all the rest of your surrogate siblings, doing a similar ritual, so as to not stand out from Neteyam’s. Lo’ak was happy to kneel and open his arms wide for you, and you appreciated this boy you loved so much more in this moment than you could ever tell him. He always knew what to do, he understood you well, just like you understood him. 

You finished with Spider, who looked a little more hurt than all the rest of them, and you knew it’s because, unlike them, his bones weren’t made with naturally occurring carbon fibre, so his body suffered a lot more every time something didn’t go to plan. It pained you to see him like this, hurting and bruised, and it hurt you more to see the anguish and fear haunting his eyes. You touched his arm and smiled softly as heat spread out where your hands traced his injuries, and when he looked at you, he shook his head, signalling for you to not question him any further, at least not for now. You nodded silently.

As the only two humans who were born on this foreign planet, you and Spider had a special bond. You had to, you had to stick together, because no one else really understood what either of you were going through except the other. He would always be the only one who understands the pain of being stuck in this body that was weak and feeble, that only one who understood the loneliness, the deep-seeded and monstrous loneliness that plagued you, the only one who understood what it was like to want something you can never have, like a chance to be one of the people, the chance to have a family, the chance at being accepted, the chance at being loved fully and without restraint, without pushback, without secrets. Spider has loved Kiri his whole life. You knew that. You also knew how hard he was fighting against it, how hard he was trying to convince himself he liked you instead, the only person on this planet that was made for him, whose body was compatible with his. Forbidden love is one of the many similarities you two shared. 

A small scream woke you up from your musings and you all snapped your head towards the sound that you now saw came from a woman, about your age, one that you knew very well, one that, despite every rational thought telling you otherwise, you hated with every fibre of your being. The woman. The dreaded woman that would one day be the mother of Neteyam’s children, the woman he’d wake up next to every day of his life, the woman he’d touch, and hold, and fuck. The woman he’d love. The woman that wasn’t you. 

“Oh, Great Mother! Oh, Eywa!” Her steps were wide and rushed, and in no time at all she made her way through the crowd and stopped just in front of Neteyam’s body, and carefully traced her long, slender fingers on his body. She looked panicked and forlorn, desperate to make sure her mate-to-be was unharmed. She gasped as her gaze landed on his many bleeding scratch wounds, and took him by the hand as she pulled on his arm, willing him to go with her.

“Yawne, come on. I will prepare healing salves for you in my tent. Let’s go.” 

You tried to swallow the bitterness that gathered in your mouth to no avail, as the lump that seemed like it had settled in your throat, never to leave you again, prevented it. You felt the familiar sting of tears gathering in your eyes and demanding to be released down your face, and knew you had to pull it together. This wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the time to think of how you’ve always been the one to heal Neteyam, it was always your hands trailing over his wounds, it was your hands that sutured his bleeding gashes, the one that made sure he wouldn’t ever scar, because the thought of anything marring his beautiful skin hurt you. 

“Uhm, we’re here, too, you know?” Lo’ak send a small snarky look in the girl’s direction, and Neytiri hissed at her son, threatening him to keep quiet. The girl didn’t acknowledge his words, opting to continue pulling Neteyam away forcefully. Lo’ak didn’t like her. You didn’t know why. Unlike you, he didn’t have an obvious reason. Maybe it’s how she acted like the rest of his family didn’t really exist, like they were somehow below her. Well, not the entire family. She liked Neytiri and Mo’at, and she liked Tuk. It was just Lo’ak and Kiri that she seemed to ignore. 

Your eyes remained fixed on Neteyam’s body, that was slowly getting farther away from you and closer to another woman’s tent, and you couldn’t help think how this was a fitting metaphor for your relationship and your future. He peered behind him and immediately found your face, and the look he gave you will haunt you forever. A look that told you that he loved you, that he was sorry, but he had no choice. A look that said “I wish things could be different, but they’re not”. A look that crushed your spirit and told you everything you never wanted to hear and nothing that could heal the pain currently poisoning your heart. 

Spider placed a hand on the small of your back, and with one last look at your best friend, the man you loved, you turned your back to him, to her, and to the love you felt in every cell in your body and focused on the people who needed you. You motioned for Spider and Lo’ak to follow you to the labs.

“Come. I’ll patch you up.” 

It was late at night when you finished everything you had planned on doing, and you dragged your feet tiredly to your room, eager to be alone, eager to be able to drop the facade you have had to maintain for the entire day and just release the anguish in your soul with a good crying session and some comfort show you have seen one too many times. You got into the shower and put the temperature as close to boiling as you possibly could, feeling the incessant need to burn a couple layers of skin, to remove the traces of Neteyam that will always be tattooed on you, the feeling of his lips on your body, that you could feel like he was here right now, the pressure of his hands as they tugged at your hips, as they wrapped around your throat, as they caressed your cheeks and pushed the hair out of your face. The tears that fell down your cheeks were removed as soon as they dropped, leaving only the memory of them, the images of what triggered them, of the anguished thoughts and deep pain that sank its teeth into you like a wild animal, tugging at and tearing apart everything they touched. 

As you got out of the shower, you heard the unmistakable sound of the door sliding open, and of something falling on the floor with a loud clank, and you knew exactly who it was. Your entire body was red and puffed from the shower, including your face, on which it was obvious that you have cried for the past 30 minutes. Fuck. 

With a loud sigh, that you hoped would lower your rapid heartbeat and shallow breaths, you opened the door and came face to face with Neteyam, who was knelt on the ground, trying to pick up what he dropped on the floor. 

“Sorry.” He says meekly. “I wish I could control my tail better, but it’s always an accident waiting to happen in these tight rooms.” 

You gave him a small smile that was not reflected in your eyes, and moved past him to sit on your bed. You fixed your eyes on the ground, noting how awkward and tense the atmosphere around you was. It’s never been like this. Ever. You and Neteyam have always been comfortable around each other. Always. No matter what ever happened in your lives or around you, no matter what depths your friendship reached, no matter how many boundaries you erased or walked past, it’s always felt natural. This didn’t. 

“Why are you here, Neteyam?” 

“What do you mean why I am here? I can’t be here?” 

You scoffed. 

“You can, you just never are anymore.” 

“Vol… come on. You know it’s different now than it was in the village, in Hell’s gate. We’re going to get caught.”

“Yeah, well, we wouldn’t want to get caught. God forbid anybody knows you fuck me in your free time.” 

“Vol…”

You knew you were being unfair. You knew it deep in your soul that he didn’t deserve any of this. You both agreed to this. You agreed to this a long time ago, and, if you were being honest with yourself, it was you that initiated it. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

The first time you and Neteyam had sex, you were both drunk. It was your 18th birthday party, and Norm and Max organised a bash that would have apparently made even Earth bashes seem tame. There was food and music and dancing, and yelling and laughter and a lot… a lot of drinks. 

So many drinks, in fact, that in the early hours in the morning, you and Neteyam stumbled back to your room, barely being able to make out the shape of the bed before crashing unceremoniously on it, giggling like a school girl when you did and the world refused to settle around you like you did in it. 

“You’re so drunk.” Neteyam said, hiccuping slightly.

“No, you’re drunk. I’m fine.” 

It was a nice change of pace, seeing Neteyam so free, so uninhibited, so… happy. His life was always busy, always messy, always difficult, having to parent 3 kids he didn’t bring into this world, picking up their slack, making sure they were safe and free, while he lived shackled to his family and his clan’s expectations, to the promise of being chieftain one day and all the sacrifices that came along with it. 

“At least I can sit up.”

“Well, you’re about twice larger than me, so you know…” you were wiggling your fingers in the air, trying to make a point, although the point got lost in the abyss, much like the rest of your mind.

“Yes?” 

“Fuck knows, lost my train of thought.” 

“Goddamn, ma Vol, you are really drunk.” 

He came and lay in your bed next to you and you immediately fastened your limbs around his torso, like he was the flame and your soul was the moth that couldn't stay away. 

“So what? It’s my birthday. I’m an adult now! If I can’t get drunk on my birthday, when can I?” 

“I guess that’s fair.”

“Do you ever think about having sex?” 

Whatever thoughts Neteyam might have had evaporated quicker than water droplets in a fire, and he found himself speechless, not a totally uncommon occurrence in your presence.

“Cause I do. I think about it all the time. I mean, we watch so many movies, and series, and all humans seem to do is have sex. I heard Norm getting it on with one of the Omatikaya chicks in the village for a while now, and, all I can think of is when the hell is it going to be my turn? My turn to know what it feels like, to get to see what the big deal is, you know?”

“I know you think about it. I know you think about it with me. I can feel it, I can feel you, whenever we fall asleep together. I know you want me, Teyam. I mean, we’ve come this far, right? Might as well go all the way.” 

“I hope you want me. Because I want you. You’re my best friend, you know everything about me. I want it to be you.”

Neteyam was doing everything in his power to ignore his increasingly harder-to-ignore erection and the way he was twitching at every word that came out of your mouth. Of course he wanted you. You were hot, and you were his. His best friend, the person he’s shared so many intimate moments with, the person that taught him everything he knew about girls, about pleasure, about so many things. But this might be a step too far, a step you could never take back. Neteyam always hoped that one day, by some miracle of the universe, you would get an Avatar, and you would get a chance to be one of the people. There’s nothing he wanted more in this world then to get to keep you forever. But, as the years went past, the possibility of that seemed less and less probable, and Neteyam knew he would have to find a mate one day, and he would have to love her and keep her, forever. He would sleep with her, and mate with her, and she would have his kids, and doing these things with you… he didn’t know how he was supposed to move on with his life like your presence didn’t permeate through every fibre of his being. 

“I do want you, Vol. But I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.” 

“It’s a great idea, Teyam. Think about it.” You chuckled to yourself, eyes shut tightly and fingers rubbing your temples, as if trying to summon the words into your brain.

“What was I saying?”

He laughed at your disorientated predisposition, realising he wasn’t in a much better condition. 

“I forgot.” You kicked your feet up in the air as you remembered. 

“Oh, yeah!! It’s a g-great idea. Because we’ve made out before, right? Multiple times. Because we’ve s-slept in the same bed before, so we know that works. Because we know each other, and we won’t tell anyone else, right? It can just be our little secret, and we have p-plenty of those anyway. Because, because… Because this way, whenever you'll get yourself a mate, you know that you will know what to do and won’t fumble around. I’m doing you a favour, if you think about it. It’s the perfect plan honestly. Foolproof.”

It was hard for Neteyam to argue with your logic, but that may be because the part of his brain that processed logic was dead now. 

The first time you and Neteyam had sex, it was awkward and painful. Turns out there is a lot more fumbling and a lot more preparation and a lot more pain involved than what it is ever portrayed on the screen, and even more so since the man you were sleeping with was twice your size, and those proportions extended to… well, everything. It took a lot of lube and a lot of patience, but you knew you would have wanted no one else to have this experience with. There was no one else in the world that could have made this what it was, something that you would cherish for the rest of your life. He was kind and considerate, and he brushed the tears from your face with his thumbs when the initial pain got too much to bear, and he waited for you to adjust to his impressive length, that felt like it would tear you apart at the seams at times, and he kissed your forehead and whispered about how well you were doing, and how good you felt, and how there was no one else he would rather be doing this with, no one else in the world, not for the rest of time.

The first time promptly led to the second time, and although it took time for you to learn each other’s bodies, in a couple months, the pleasure you felt when he touched you was indescribable, the thrill you got whenever you saw him become putty under your touch boldened you, empowered you, made you want to do this every day, all day, for as long as you lived. In time, you learnt that you liked when he praised you and he loved the sounds he could coax out of you - the louder you were, the harder he got. You both enjoyed being in control once in a while, him most of the time, you - on special occasions. The dance you partook in was intricate and complicated, it was heaven and hell, it was pleasure and pain, it was everything you shouldn’t have and everything you couldn’t keep yourself from. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

As you looked at the man sitting on the ground across from you, eyes so cried out and tired they were seeing red, you knew you had no right to spit such words in his face, but the hurt and heartache, the anger at the unfairness of it all, it was clouding your judgement, making you want to hurt him like his present and upcoming absence from your life was hurting you.

“I know you’re upset about today. I’m sorry.” He looked pained, and he refused to look at you. He looked… spent. Exhausted and sad. Way sadder than you imagined he would be, if this was just about today. Something wasn’t right.

“Why would I be upset about today? You did what you had to do. I mean, she’s going to be your mate soon, right? It’s her hands that should be healing you anyway, not mine.” You eyed the wounds on his body that were now clean, but still red, and still mostly open. “Those are going to scar, by the way.” 

He stood up suddenly. A step is all it took to reach you and his hand on your chest shot bouts of electricity all throughout your body, that you struggled to ignore. It took very little effort for him to push you back onto the bed until the warmth and softness of your blanket touched the skin that wasn’t wrapped in a towel. He followed suit, his body hovering on top of yours, and you felt his braids tickling your face and neck as his eyes bore intensely into yours. 

“Stop. I know you are upset. I wish it could have been you. You know me, Vol. You know I wish it could have been you.” 

You shook your head slightly, dreading how the tears were falling down the sides of your face and nestling in your ears. You didn’t know. Not anymore. 

“You should go, Neteyam. This isn’t right. You’re engaged to someone else. I watched her today, watched how worried she was about you, how desperate to help you, to take you away so it’s just the two of you. You’re going to mate with this girl any day now. There’s no room for me in your life anymore. Not like this, anyway.”

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

The first time you and Neteyam made love came after you were both spent from taking orgasm after orgasm out of each other. You were laying on his chest, tracing each twinkling freckle on it with your index finger, making patterns, making galaxies out of the stars proudly adorning his skin, the most beautiful stars to ever exist, to you. 

Almost as if thinking out loud, you spoke quietly, barely above a whisper.

“You are so beautiful. It hurts me sometimes, the gaping differences between us. How dull and boring I am compared to you. How daft my skin, compared to your shiny, glowy one. How sullen my eyes look when I see them in the reflection of your bright ones, sparkling like the sun. I would give anything to look like you. Anything to be like you.” Sighing, dropping hot wet tears on his chest, you continued. “Everything would be so much easier if I looked like you.” 

Almost uncharacteristically, Neteyam’s hand cupped your cheek gently and tugged slightly until your eyes met.

“Stop. Please. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. You always have been. Your eyes are like the planets my satellites orbit around. I see them everywhere I go, every moment of my day, every dream I dream at night, there’s nothing else besides your eyes, besides your face, and your lips. Besides the words that come out of them, that somehow guide my every thought, focus my world and let me go on. You are more than beautiful, more than any word invented in any language that we speak. You are everything, ok? Everything.” 

That did nothing to stop your tears, that fell even harder down your cheeks, forming a puddle on his chest. 

“You can’t say these things, Neteyam.”

“Why not?” 

“You know why not.”

“You can’t make me fall in love with you. And you can’t fall in love with me. What we’re doing is already complicated. Already beyond what either of us could explain to anyone we love. And that’s ok, because what we have works. But it won’t work if the feelings run deeper than what depth we’re comfortable swimming in. You’re going to leave me one day, and if you leave me and I’m in love with you, it will break me. So you can’t say things like that to me.”

He had a playful smile on his face, but his eyes were forceful and full of intensity as he got on top of you and looked down into yours. 

“I’m not going to fall in love with you, and you’re not going to fall in love with me. We got this, Vol. But I will never leave you. I could never leave you. You’re my best friend. You’re everything to me.” 

You let out a soft sob that was silenced by his lips pressing on yours and the sound was replaced by pleasured moans and whimpered sounds, of silent confessions that marked the end of comfort and the beginning of the end. 

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

Back when we were still changing for the better

Wanting was enough, for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all

Cancel plans just in case you'd call and say, "Meet me behind the mall"

He sighed as he got off from on top of you, his own tears falling on your face as he did so. He didn’t look at you as he spoke. 

“The engagement is broken.” 

The relief that flooded your mind didn’t have time to wash over you before he continued.

“Because I’m leaving. I’m leaving the Omatikaya, and so is my family.” 

You and Neteyam shared many firsts. Your first heartbreak, the one that would break your spirit and your soul and your bones and ground them into a fine dust to be blown away by the wind, would just be one of many others. 

So much for summer love and saying "us"

'Cause you weren't mine to lose

Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr

[hottpinkpenguin]

congrats on the followers!! and super excited for this event. am looking forward to see lots of good stuff! And i am also here to request! Can we maybe get some Nikolai smut with the prompt "Don't cover your face. I want to see you" 👉👈

A/n: has there ever been a more perfect specimen for smut fics? i think not. so, nikolai, thank you bb for being so perfectly FINE. here you go anon - hope you like it!! actually several of you requested nikolai smut, so this one's for all y'all, you're my people and i'm here for it.

18+ only!!!! MINORS DNI

Nikolai Lanstov X Fem!Reader Word Count: 2,342 Warnings: smut, absolutely no plot, unprotected sex, P in V, fingering, sprinkles of praise kink, creampie

(i'm sorry, i know i've already used this gif on another fic but srsly ppl wut else am i supposed to use for a nikolai smut fic?! this gif is unholy and i love it)

The knock at your bedchamber door was fast, urgent. Four sharp taps, rapid fire. You could hear his need in those knocks. 

You weren’t far from the door, pacing with a suffocating mix of desire, impatience, and nerves. It had been so long since you’d seen Nikolai, you wondered if the arrangement you two had fallen into the last time you’d lived here would still apply. But those knocks told you everything you needed to know. He remembered, and you did too. 

He was on you before the door closed behind him. His mouth crashed against yours, the familiar taste of his mouth awakening memories you’d tried so hard to suppress. His hands tangling in your hair, squeezing your cheek, ripping at the thin fabric of your nightgown. Desperate, hungry. Just the way you liked him. 

He pulled back from the kiss just long enough to look at you. His gaze roamed over you like wind, a feral smile lighting up his face. 

“Gods I’ve missed you.” His voice had grown deeper, so gravelly it sounded like a growl. That familiar heat sparked to life between your legs. 

You grabbed him, twisting your fingers in the hair at the base of his neck the way you knew he liked. You kissed him deeply, your tongue shamelessly diving into his mouth, devouring every inch of him you could taste. 

You broke the kiss, twisting his face away from you as you planted a line of kisses along his jawline, working your way back and down to the soft spot where his neck met his shoulder. You sucked, then nibbled there softly. His breath hitched in his throat, his head tipped back, eyes closed, giving himself over to you. 

Your hands made quick work of the buttons at the front of his jacket, and he finished the rest, throwing it towards the chair in the corner of your dimly lit bedchamber. Running the tip of your tongue up to his earlobe, he moaned, pulling his undershirt up and out of his trousers. You reluctantly pulled back from him to let the shirt slide up and over his head before it too was discarded along with his jacket. 

Your hands remembered the feel of his warm skin, the muscles of his back and chest flexing under your touch. You found his mouth again, his hands cupping your face. You let your hands travel freely, tracing your fingertips over his back, down the backs of his biceps, around the crease at his elbow, up his arm and over to his chest. You added pressure, leaving small white lines on his skin. He let out the smallest gasp at the sensation, his eyes rolling back in his head. You pressed your body forward against his, feeling the bulge of his cock pressing your stomach through his trousers. The heat at the apex of your legs roared, making you squeeze your thighs together, moisture beginning to build there.

“Missed me too, did you?” 

The handsome smirk and devil-may-care glitter in his eyes took your breath in. If he only knew…

You let one of your hands snake its way down the front of his torso, your fingernails leaving a trail like a map over his abs. He shivered slightly, his smirk deepening as his eyes drank you in. More, more, more, his gaze said.

You pressed your palm against his hard cock, gripping it through his trousers. “Why don’t you take these off and find out,” you murmured back. Nikolai’s eyes went wild at the sound of your voice. You bit at the edge of your lip, relishing the feel of his member in your hand, the way he shuddered at your touch reflexively. You added pressure to your palm and began stroking the length of his shaft over the rough wool of his riding trousers. 

“Saints,” he muttered, stumbling backwards on shaky legs to lean against the wall. It had been a long time for both of you, it would seem. A coil began to grow deep and low in your gut as you watched his face go slack at the feel of your hand on his cock, lost in ecstasy for a moment. 

He snapped to quickly, coming out of his reverie with a look of purpose. He brushed your hand away from his cock, catching both wrists in his hands and turning you to swap places. His movements were strong but controlled, firm pressure but no pain. You let him lead you, and he stopped only when you were squarely against the wall. 

“You haven’t lost your touch,” he murmured, leaning in for a quick kiss as he danced a finger along your jawline. “But I’ve waited too long for you to skip my favorite part.” 

You were practically panting at his words, feeling loose and halfway drunk on the sight, sound, feel, taste of him. And he knew it. 

Goosepimples ran up your spine as you felt his hands slip under the straps of your nightgown, guiding them back and over your shoulders. The thin gown fell to the floor, pooling around your ankles like water. 

Rough, calloused palms traveled all over you: your arms, throat, breasts, down your sides and over to your backside, which he gave an appreciative squeeze. Then forward, around the swell of your hips, down the front of your thighs, before snaking inward. You stepped one leg outward, beckoning him higher. His right hand turned, palm facing upward, until he found his mark. 

You gasped when his hand touched your pussy, warm and wet with anticipation already. You didn’t miss the self-satisfied smile he wore when he felt your readiness. His fingers spread your flesh apart and he began to work, starting with large, languid circles. It was torturously divine - too slow to do anything but tease you. You let your head fall back against the wood paneled wall behind you, your leg bending at the knee with a foot braced on the wall as you let yourself fall open to him. You bucked your hips forward, grinding down against your hand. 

Reading your cues, his circles grew smaller and more focused, zeroing in on that sensitive bundle at the very center of you. His fingers found it effortlessly, dancing over it like he were plucking the strings on a lute. You gasped, the coil tightening as your body tensed. 

“That’s it, my girl,” he cooed, stepping close to you, his breath warm as it fanned over your exposed neck. “Let me have you.” He bore down on whatever skin he could reach with his mouth - kissing and sucking and gently biting - drawing heavy, sighing moans from your throat. His fingers kept dancing over your clit, his pressure crescendoing and then retreating like ocean waves. You felt your bent leg begin to tremble slightly. 

At that signal, Nikolai’s fingers plunged into you commandingly. You gasped, your eyes widening as your muscles squeezed around him momentarily. 

“My beautiful, beautiful girl.” Two fingers - his middle two - began to pump, firm but gentle. Already slick with your wetness. 

One of your hands traveled up to cup your exposed breast, your nipple hard as a marble. Nikolai watched your hand as you rubbed your palm gently over the nipple, your eyelids falling shut as the sensations of your body took over your senses. 

“Nikolai, please,” you whimpered, grinding your hips against the rhythm of his hands, desperate for more. 

“Beg me again,” he commanded, letting his forehead connect with yours. 

“Please,” you moaned out, your free hand grabbing the wrist working on your pussy and driving it into you with the force you were craving. “Gods, please!” 

Normally Nikolai would tell you to use your words, to tell me what you want. But after so long apart, the intricate push-pull teasing you two were so comfortable with gave way to raw need. He obliged your request, his hand pumping in and out, his two fingers stroking the spot inside you could never reach while his thumb continued its assault on your clit. 

Your body was alight with burgeoning lust, every cell fluttering with a glittering energy. You felt your climax approaching fast and hard. Your moans turned louder into cries, the hand that had been working your breast now gripping the wall for support. Your other hand came up to tangle in your hair as you felt your orgasm crest. You turned, dragging some of your hair across your face just before you fell apart on his hand. 

“Don’t cover your face,” he growled, his free hand catching your chin with his thumb and dragging you to face him. “I want to see you.” 

You felt the cord snap at his words. You cried out his name, your face uncovered for him to see. Your pussy pulsated around his fingers, your legs shaking in time with your orgasm as you leaned back against the wall. Wetness ran down the inside of your thighs and over his hand, your mind fracturing into a thousand pieces, all of them saturated with him. 

“That’s it, my girl. That’s perfect.” You vaguely registered the praises falling out of his lips as his hand pumped you up, through, and down the other side of your ecstasy. 

You were still shaking, your senses barely rekindled when you felt the loss of Nikolai’s hand, followed swiftly by the feel of his palms gripping you under your seat. He lifted you from the hips, cradling you against him as your hands snaked around his neck. He carried you back away from the wall, turning and laying you down on your bed. 

He hovered over you at the edge of the bed, rushing the trousers down over his ankles. His cock sprang free, full and eager. You reached for it, but Nikolai had other plans. 

He ignored your grasping hand, stepping forward and lining himself up with your entrance only long enough to register your acknowledgement before he buried himself in you. His hips smacked against yours as you cried out his name. The feel of him stretching you, your pussy still throbbing from his hand, sent your awareness scattering again. 

You felt Nikolai’s hands press down into the mattress next to your head, framing your face as he leaned over you. He hesitated, catching your gaze with his cock completely embedded in you. 

“Let me have you,” he told you. His hazel eyes were bottomless to you, his words felt like a drug. 

“You already do, Nikolai,” you replied. “Now, take it.”

He leapt at your command, his hips pulling away from you and then brutally slamming back into you. His cock dragged against you, reactivating that dwindling orgasm with a new fire. You let your legs lift up to twine around his rear, adding your own movement to match his. He was grunting, his brows furrowed in a mix of pleasure and concentration as the wet sounds of slapping skin filled the room, punctuated by your cries and his deeper, guttural grunts. 

You tried to lift your head to watch him slide in and out of you, but he found your neck, gently but firmly pushing your head back to the bed. His hand stayed there, wrapped around the base of your throat with a possessive, dominating pressure, almost enough to press the air from your lungs but never enough to hurt. 

“Fuck, I’m close. Y/n, I’m close, I’m gonna cum.” 

You gripped his backside with your hands, pulling him into you deeper and harder with the final few thrusts he gave you. As he threw his head back, a long and loud primal grunt spilling from his mouth, you felt your own body’s desire snap a second time. He gasped as he felt your pussy squeezing around his pulsating cock, his thrusts scattered and not as forceful, but drawing out the pleasure you’d both been denied for so long. You screamed out his name, not caring who heard or what they thought or even if the sounds that you made actually sounded anything like Nikolai at all. He knew, and you knew - that was all that mattered. You fell off the edge of reason, twisting and writhing until you were turned inside out on a cloud of pleasure. Then you floated, hanging there, his warmth and the nearness of his body the only thing you’d swore you’d ever need.

You both settled back into your bodies slowly, the sounds of two sets of panting breaths drawing you down from the sky you’d fallen into.

He finally slid out of you, leaving you feeling woefully empty. You whimpered softly at the loss of him. He collapsed down onto the mattress next to you, the hand he’d left at your throat gently turning your face to his. You washed in the sight of him, the soft sheen of sweat covering his handsome face, his lips swollen and parted, his cheeks flushed. His hazel eyes danced like stars as he smiled at you. You smiled back, one of your hands finding his hair and swirling patterns against his scalp. He moaned, his eyes falling closed for a few minutes as the two of you relaxed in the relative silence. You knew it was only to give your bodies enough time to recover before revisiting the night’s earlier activities, and the thought of it made your stomach twirl. 

When Nikolai Lantsov opened his eyes, that mischievous glint you loved so much was blazing. You knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“So you did miss me?”

You gave him a playful slap, laughing as he rolled you into him, squeezing you into a bearhug against his bare chest. He buried his head in your mussed hair, inhaling deeply. 

“Actually,” you finally replied when you weren’t breathless from giggling, “I might need you to show me again exactly what I’ve been missing, all this time.” 

Nikolai gave you a wicked smile. “Happily, my girl. Happily.”

And so you let him show you - again and again, and again some more…

[cicadidae-tm9899]

okokok so i've been coming up with ideas for this alien race and the basis for it are these kinda reptilian creatures made of minerals who have a molten core bc i saw a video about slag disposal earlier and there was a bit where they cracked this big hunk of metal and stuff in half and it was still liquid inside like an egg and that mental image just kinda stuck with me.

ANYWAYS I'm attempting to do some worldbuilding but i'm only planning on having 1 character as part of this species (for now at least) so i'm super excited i have SO MANY ideas already :D

GODD the urge to make an oc that's almost exactly benry...bc i wanna make an oc that's like a science experiment/alien/whatever that /could/ wreak a ton of havok but chooses to prank people and be a little shit instead, and the design choice of the shadowy raccoon mask and dark gradient on the limbs is too good to /not/ use 😩

I mean I'm also gonna make a scientist character for them to be in love with but i can make them distant enough from gordon for that to not be a problem

If anyone has any ideas on inhuman traits i can give this oc (at least their human form? Gonna make a silly alien trueform thing too hee hee hoo hoo) pleeeaassee share eith the class 🥺

[ratsummer]

Okay so I have seen headcanons here and there about the abbey having a nursery for the ghoul kits and human babies and I LOVE THAT. I've been having a rough few days so I've been thinking a lot about what that looks like c: Maybe someday I'll type up my thoughts on what the system overall looks like, but for now...

How would our beloved band ghouls interact with the little ones??

I'm starting with Swiss! Maybe this will become a little series if I feel like it/anyone wants to know what I think about the other ghouls c:

Though I believe there's a dedicated nursery staff in the abbey, I think they always welcome and encourage volunteers to come hang out so the babies can socialize with all kinds of different people! Swiss is one of the ghouls regularly assigned to work nursery shifts when things slow down a bit for the band, but the rest of the time I think he visits voluntarily because he likes it.

Overall, I think Swiss is super great with kids of all ages. He's got deep wells of energy and patience, and though he of course loves playtime, he also actively enjoys most elements of caretaking! Keeping everyone fed, clean, and cozy can be fun too! He helps with everyone, but his most favorite group to spend time with? The toddlers.

Ghoul kits becoming ambulatory is... interesting! Like many human babies, they typically start with some scooting and then get into crawling. But, I think ghoul kits stay in the crawling phase for much longer than humans. After all, they have those pesky tails to figure out, too! Switching to walking on two legs is so hard when everyone is cheering for you, and that's exciting so your tail starts wagging, and then you're thrown off balance, and then you're on the floor, and yeah that's annoying, so maybe you should cry about it... or stick to moving around on four limbs because it's way faster anyway! Practicing moving around on four legs for a while longer lets them build up their little hip and ab muscles, especially while their tail moves around with their emotions.

But just...

Swiss on his knees behind one of the kits who is so close to figuring out walking upright on their own. He's got an arm on either side of the little one, hands just in front of them. The kit is little bitty tiny, maybe air, so even though they're using their whole entire hands, their little grip doesn't quite extend all the way around even one of Swiss' fingers.

Swiss has propped up one of their favorite toys, a big plush bear almost the same size as the kit, against an armchair just a few feet away.

"You see your bear-bear, baby?" Swiss coos, bouncing his hands a bit to jiggle the kit's arms.

The kit is shrieking in delight, little tail lashing around and whacking into Swiss' stomach. Their giggles are infectious, and Swiss' face aches from the strength of his smile.

"I know, baby! Should we go get your bear??" Swiss moves his arms just a smidge forward, gently encouraging the kit to take a step.

Their chubby little leg jerks forward a bit awkwardly, but with a confidence that sends Swiss' heart soaring. This kit had been one of the more shy, timid babies when they had come into the abbey's care. They rarely smiled, much less laughed, just taking in the world around them with big eyes and arms held tight to their chest. They'd arrived during a busier time of year for the band ghouls, but Swiss had met and interacted with them enough times to see the remarkable change in their energy. He made a mental note to shower kisses on the nursery ghouls specializing in infant care.

"Yes! Well done, my darling!" Swiss cheers, scooting along on his knees behind the kit. They're taking strong, only slightly wobbly steps toward the bear. "Go get bear-bear! He wants a hug!"

Swiss squirms a finger out of the kit's grip, but they maintain their awkward forward momentum with only one finger to hold. They're practically bouncing as they lurch toward their bear, bright laughter filling the room.

When the kit finally makes it to the plush toy, they let go of Swiss and flop onto its round belly, giggling and nuzzling into its neck. Swiss claps and hollers for the kit, cheering and celebrating their hard won victory.

"You did it, my love!" He coos, rubbing the kit's back. His heart melts over how tiny they are, his hand spanning the entirety of their torso. "I'm so proud of you! You're getting so strong!"

The kit flails a little bit but is quickly turned back around to face Swiss, a huge grin lighting up their face. They only laugh harder when they see him, the big, gasping laughs that they nearly choke on.

"I know, baby! Aren't you cl-"

The words catch in Swiss's throat as the kit pulls themselves up on their feet, a bit wobbly, but notably standing up with no outside support. He watches on, breathless, as they hold their tail out behind them, mostly still, and put their arms out to the side for balance. They take one tiny step, and then another, stuttering laughs breaking through their sudden and intense focus.

Swiss holds his hands out toward the kit, ready to catch them, but otherwise not interfering. They take only two more steps before their toe catches on the rug and they go lurching forward, but instantly Swiss is scooping them up and jumping to his feet.

"You did it!" He cries, dancing around while holding the kit on his hip, "You walked all by yourself!" As he whirls around, the kit in his arms matches his joy with their shrieks. "Oh, clever baby!"

Swiss stops spinning around to pull the kit up onto his chest so he can nuzzle under their chin and around their neck, scenting them thoroughly. He's purring so hard his chest hurts, but he's just so overwhelmed he can't help it. When the kit starts a cooing purr through their laughs, Swiss starts kissing and play-nibbling over their face and hair, making gobbling sounds as he goes.

"What a sweet little kit," he says between kisses, "I think I'm going to have to eat you up! I don't have much time left, soon you're going to be able to run away!"

An exaggerated gasp from the door has Swiss turning on his heel to find one of the main infant through toddler caretakers making their way in, a snack for the kit in hand. When the kit sees them they're instantly squirming and screeching in delight and reaching for their caretaker, and Swiss happily hands them over.

"Don't worry baby, I've got you now! I won't let Swiss eat you!"

And because Swiss is a deeply sentimental ghoul he is going to immediately detail what just happened and he is going to start crying about seeing a kit's first steps and generally just be gooey about it and you cannot change my mind!!! Aaaah!!

So ya ghouls with kits on my mind has been keeping me saaaaaane recently and I have so so many thoughts!!! Idk if I'll write anymore BUT look out who knows! I have a stressful week ahead lmao save me ghouls with kits save me 😭

[missdaytonawrites]

liar • a. anderson

summary - manny and abby find you alone one night and take you back to the stadium, abby does everything in her power to swallow her feelings about you. even if it means pushing boundaries and lying. (enemies 2 lovers w/ abby's mean ass.)

WC - 4k

cw/tw - 18+ MDNI, post!outbreak abby, mean!abby, afab!reader, talk of guns and infected, seriously abby's unreasonably bitchy, talk of alcohol, abby cannot tell the truth to save her life, dom/sub dynamics, hurt/comfort kinda??? fingering (r! receiving) getting caught (if u squint girl, not really) apologetic!abby. slightly, every-so-barely, for a literal split-second... sub!abs, (mainly sub!r tho..) spitting, tribbing ooooh, abby smokes cigarettes, so does r! apparently, little bit of fluff, i kinda hate the ending?? maybe a pt. II to this will happen idk don't ask lol.

A/N - ..heeey people... here it is!!! i recently (like two days ago recently) gained a pretty serious injury on my pinky toe and i've been literally bed-ridden so i had no choice but to get this out. i love this song, i've heard this song live, this song is so request-this-is-based-on coded so!!!! (*edit* nonnie if u see this i hope u love it mwah) i kid you not i started writing this on the two-hour drive home from the paramore concert and i've just now finished it. i'm super personally proud of this and i will say -- YOU 100% HAVE GOT TO, LISTEN TO THE SONG WHEN YOU READ. with most of my other fics, it's really optional but for this?/!:?):!; put headphones in, turn this song on loop, AND THEN READ!!! it will completely enhance the fic. thanks 4 readin as always, love you crazy bitches.

"love is not an easy thing to admit, but i'm not ashamed of it."

this was fucking gross, the dirt was cold and wet. bordering on mud status and now seeping into the cloth of your shorts & t-shirt as you lay into the earth. you were tired and just needed some rest before you continued on. the old abandoned house you had been using as shelter became over-ran with some infected while you were out one day. so it was back to the forest floor for now.

gross, cold, and wet. the way she had found you, curled up and fast asleep on the ground, she almost wished that she felt bad. she didn’t though, instead for a split second she forgot manny had been following behind her as she took the barrel of her gun to press into the side of your face. she pressed in a little harder and you shot awake at the feeling of something touching your teeth through your cheek. your eyes fly open and they’re met with two shadowy figures above you.

one is a lot larger than the other, the one who had been poking you with the gun crouched down to get a better look at you. through her inspection, manny could be heard behind her muttering something about “we can’t just leave her here, abs.” abby didn’t really care for what he was saying, instead she was silently cursing herself for the emotion that began to crowd her train of thought. abby had toughened herself up enough so these sorts of things wouldn’t happen. she, or the rest of the WLF couldn't afford any emotional attachments. abby didn't need to be going out and developing crushes on sleeping beauties in the woods. yet here she was…

maybe that's why she grew to detest you so severely. treating you so harshly so her mask didn't slip, it was the only way for her. especially the night they found you. she couldn’t even begin to fathom how badly she wanted to just grab you up, take you back to clean you off and keep you safe with the rest of them. instead, she shook you (and manny’s new found excitement, like they found a stray puppy) off, pulling her gun away from your face and stepping about eight feet far from you to speak with manny.

it was back and forth the entire time, manny weighing in all the pros while abby lays out all the cons. true childish banter begins to ensue and abby begrudgingly agrees to bring you back with manny, claiming he’ll “deal with any consequences.” they walk back over to where you lay, awake and pissed. you had just started to fall asleep for fucks sake, “look, you’re coming with us. don't argue and just be grateful that it's we who ran across your ass and not some raider." abby sighs then pinches the bridge of her nose, you would like to argue but the darker haired one looks rather excited for you to be coming, so you bite your tongue for now.

it had been six months since that night… six months of falling in love with your new life at the stadium, six months of manny becoming the closest friend you’ve ever known, six months of training.. six months of a total cold shoulder from abby. you didn't even know if you could call it that, lord knows she never spared her snarky comments towards you at dinner or when the two of you got paired together on runs. always saying something about how you never do anything right, then carrying on while she tells you all the reasons they should've just left you there in the forest to rot.

you take on each day with your head high, trying not to let abby bother you. even if you couldnt seem to crack her fucking issue with you, reminding yourself that everyone else enjoys you and is glad you joined them. especially manny, he was a great pal, always sitting with you at dinner and reading with you. one night he had pulled you out of your book and talked you into having a drink with him, so you did. the two of you passed the bottle back and forth all night, intoxicating yourself enough to blab about abby.

“i just don’t fuckin’ get it, i guess.” taking another swig, you chuckle and hand manny the bottle back. “maybe i just see myself differently than she does.” he looks like he’s thinking and before he can say anything you start again, “does she talk about me? i mean, have i done anything to her that i’m just oblivious to?” manny doesn't say anything, just throws back whatever is left in the whiskey bottle and looks at you sympathetically.

“she doesn't really talk to anyone about things like that, maybe you did.. nobody will ever know.” you sigh and cross your legs. you and manny enjoy the silence for awhile before there’s some shuffling to the side of you two and then just like magic, there’s abby. rearing her mean little head like she heard you twos conversation. much to your chagrin, she did and as she takes her seat next to manny she whacks his shoulder and grumbles something along the lines of “couldn't save any for me..?”

abby's presence captures all of manny's attention while she talks him into going to grab another bottle, you sit uncomfortably and slightly tipsy as she finally convinces him. he gives you a little salute before heading off, leaving you and abby alone. you feel the liquor drop like an anchor in your stomach and your eyelids become heavy, you suddenly aren't sure how much longer you wanna stay.. where did she come from? if she was listening, why? you could have sworn manny said everyone else was out for the night..?

you’re so deep in thought that you don't notice abby has moved closer to you, and has been slowly muttering in your ear this whole time. it isn’t until she is literally snapping her fingers in front of your face, that you pull yourself out of your trance. when you turn to look her in the eyes, you notice just how close she had gotten. taking a sharp breath she starts again, even slower this time, like you wouldn't understand if she were to say it any faster. “i don’t see you differently, i see you for what the fuck you are… n’ i can’t say i’m the biggest fan”

you swallow and feel as if you’ve shrunk beneath her very gaze, “keep my fucking name out of your mouth, got it?” subconsciously scooting away from her, you nod quickly and avert your gaze. she snaps again, and your eyes shoot back to hers. “say it. tell me that you got it through your goddamn head,” and she moves closer. “now!” you squeak out a shaky “got it!” before standing and making your exit. on your leave, you can hear abby laugh at the situation from down the hall.

she has never taken something that far before? you can’t even recall a time she’s been that close to you before. guilt starts to float around you like a cloud above your head. you cannot believe you let her bother you so much that you left without saying a “good night.” or “thank you!” to manny.

flopping face-down on your cot, you conjure an idea; you rummage through all of your belongings to find some pen and paper. you write manny an explanatory note and let him know a little about what happened.

finishing up your letter, you can faintly hear him and abby laughing from your room.

“ah, abs.. you’ll have to get over yourself and tell her eventually.” he sighs and you can hear abby hiss at the thought. “nah man, i’ve already-” and then you remember how shes made you feel before, you decide you’re done eavesdropping and suddenly decide to no longer give manny the piece of paper you had been writing him. crumpling the note, you throw it at the wall and lay down to read.

an entire two weeks pass, you can confidently say you’ve not once thought about abby. her lack of kindness fails to phase you as the days pass. you’ve stopped eating with the group, opting for meals in your room instead. you’ve only really talked with manny only enough to ensure you and abby aren't partnered up for anything. it was smooth sailing for another two weeks, a whole fucking month passes and you cannot believe she’s really left you alone. you honestly didn't think she was capable, but alas, she hadn't even barely looked your way. you can’t help but let your mind race before you sleep about why? was she respecting your request? had manny scolded her? you remembered what manny had told you and settled with the fact that you’d never know.

one night, as you make your bed and pack your bag for the week, there's a quick rasp of knuckles on your door. “heeeeey! i know you’re in here, let me in.” manny, and he sounded drunk. unlocking the door and rolling your eyes, he stumbles in and flops down on your freshly made cot. “we have got to taaaalk..” he hiccups and rolls over to face you, “i need to know, please-” burping and then bursting out in laughter he rubs his eyes and sits up. “what reeealllyy happened that ni-ght.” you didn't think you could roll your eyes back any further than they did at that very moment, practically dismissing him you say: “i don't know what you’re talking about, what night?” burping, he looks at you like you’ve lost it, “c’mon, don't do that. i just want to know if she's telling me the truth…”

in that moment, your head whips around and you’re sure your eyes bugged out of your head. “the truth? what did she say happened?” manny matches the shocked expression on your face for a split second and then erupts in laughter, you worry for what he’s about to say. “look, don’t let this- this, don't tell her i said this.” swallowing and moving closer to him, you sit on the cot with manny while he tells you this extravagant story all about what “happened” that night.

apparently, that night, you told abby to her face that you thought she had a problem with you. apparently, on that same night you also caught an attitude with abby and got in her face. apparently, you stormed off in a drunken rage after allegedly jumping all over her case.

furious, you were so fucking mad. there were simply no words in the goddamned english dictionary to fathom how angry you were with her. she lied! right through her teeth! to manny of all people! about you! there was no holding back anymore, returning to the moment, you spare no gory details as you tell manny what really happened. to say the least? he wasnt very happy, you told him you were scared of her and didnt say anything sooner because you swore to “keep her fucking name out of your mouth.”

the conversation sobered manny up enough for him to apologize on abby's behalf and then exit rather quickly, leaving you to go to bed. you just can’t justify falling asleep, though. not until you make a plan, to your knowledge abby has no reason to be treating you the way she is; the only thing to do now is talk to her. you can be civil, at this point you just need to know why. so in a futile attempt to sleep, you rehearse with yourself what you’re going to say to abby tomorrow.

you wake up to bright sun, bam, right there in your eyes. you practically hiss and you turn away from your window, regaining your vision when your senses are flooded with an overwhelming scent of pine… you thought you were having a stroke, so you sit up and take in your surroundings. upon further inspection, and the realization that you’re definitely not having a stroke, you look around your space and low and behold..

there’s abby. hair falling loosely about her shoulders, still in her pajamas, sitting there just as annoying as the sun. you see her and glare, the tone of your morning immediately shifts and you turn away from her the same way you did with the morning light. grumbling something at her about how she needs to leave and how you two would do this later. you thought your point had been made until she grabs your arm and stops you from laying back down.

“look, i seriously can’t do this anymore.” she pulls you hard enough that you’re sitting up again. “i feel so fucking guilty, i don’t think i could even put it into words.” you almost laugh in her face, actually. “can’t do what anymore, abby? walk around and spew nothing but hate for me?” you realize how close she is and you reach out to shove her. putting some distance between the two of you, she opens her mouth to speak again but you interrupt her. “is it the whole lying to manny thing that made the guilt finally kick in, anderson?”

she returns to her spot in the chair on the far side of your room and sits, she chews her cheek while you rub your eyes. “don’t got anything to say now, huh?” she looks at you like she wants you to finish.. so you do. “i told you to go away, abby. we could’ve handled this later.” she stands up and walks over, sitting and occupying the empty space on your mattress next to you.

“i can’t keep living like this. fuck, fuck!” she shouts and stands, wiping her hands on her forehead. “i don’t know how to do this, and you aren't making it any easier.” you are genuinely astonished, in utter disbelief that she’s the angry one and that you’re gonna have to spell this out for her. “how about sorry? maybe go tell manny yourself that you are a fucking liar?!”

in that very moment, smoke might as well of blown out of her ears like a damn cartoon, “yeah. a liar.” she huffs and sits again. “lied to manny, lied about wanting you to keep my name out of your mouth.. lied about hating you.”

your jaw dropped, mouth literally hanging open as she continues, “i don’t know why, there’s no excuse. i am so fucking sorry.” she moves closer to you and puts her hand on your arm, gentler this time. “i haven’t said this to anyone in years, but i think i love you.” gazing down to her hand on you, then back up to her eyes you swallow the lump sitting in your throat. you don’t know what to say.

“abby, i,” you sigh and chew your lip, “i wish i knew what to say, this is all-” and then her hand moves up, silencing you when her thumb swipes over the expanse of your lips and then rests at the corner of your mouth. she leans into you and offers you two more words, “don’t talk..” then closes the gap between you two.

your lips are like heaven, everything she could have ever wanted. every night when she would fall asleep dreaming of them, this is it and more. she feels like she is fucking floating. she doesn't know what to do with her hands; they tangle in your hair, slide and touch your arms and then come up to cup your cheeks while she pushes into you impossibly further.

she breaks the kiss every now and then to mutter an “i’m sorry.. m’so so sorry, baby.” pulling away completely to admire you. she’s panting so heavily as she goes to pull your tank top up and off, immediately ducking down to take a nipple into her mouth. the cool air of your room hits you, head rolling back and around when you peer down at her, she locks eyes with you. pulling off you with a pop, she comes back up to kiss you again. except this time, its not a makeout, just short desperate pecks all over your face while she hurries to get your shorts off of you.

you help her out and shimmy out of them, completely bare, you fall back on your elbows and spread your legs for her. she lets out a low whistle and shakes her head, chuckling as she whispers, “goddamn foolish to deny myself of this..” bringing her middle and ring finger to rub circles around you.

she moves them down and pushes the two into you, twisting and curling them against your walls. you gasp and drop your head again, hands balling up into fists. abby notices your open mouth and kisses you again, pushing her tounge into your mouth and really fucking kisses you. her free hand rolls your nipple and then wraps in your hair, exposing your neck for her to suck and bite. “pussy’s so good..” whispering against your neck, fingers still fucking you while crude sounds bounce and echo off your walls.

she pulls her fingers out and hovers them over your clit. she looks down at your dripping center, wets her lips, and then looks back at you. “may i?” she asks and brings her fingers to her mouth to taste. her eyes knock to the back of her head and she brings her fingers down to rub you some more, “god, please let me, baby”

while you barely manage to moan out a response abby has already wondrously found her way down to your core, latching herself to your clit. she groans into you while your hips instinctively buck into her mouth. as if the sensation of her devouring you wasn't enough, her fingers plunge into you. writhing beneath her, your hands find a home in abby’s hair; and if her head weren’t literally between your legs, you would have stopped to comment on how soft her blonde locks are.

abby continues to fuck you with her fingers when all of the sudden, her mouth is pulling off of your pussy and delving into your lips yet again. the contact has you whimpering and an unfamiliar heat sizzles in your lower belly. you pull away from the kiss in attempts to speak, but to no avail as she simply just follows you back and keeps kissing you. “don’t run from it, baby.. don’t run from me.” she pulls away from your face and drives her fingers into you, fast and mean and determined.

your breathing quickens and you’re suddenly so much more aware of the way she's leaning over you, the darkness in her eyes, the way she’s heaving as she watches your body react to her touch. you’re close, so, so indescribably close to the edge; just about to explode beneath her when.. knock knock knock!

“abs?! you guys in there?” manny, banging on your door to innocently check the status of you two’s “making up.” abby’s eyes flicker down to yours and her free hand flys to her own lips, pressing a single finger to them, hushing you. “i got this, stay quiet.” she whispers and gives you a peck then clears her throat. “yeah man! we’re all good, just talkin’!” she shouts at him, never once slowing her pace while your orgasm just bubbles within you.

manny laughs, “cool, cool. just wanted to make sure you aren't like.. murdering her or anything.” abby laughs this time, murdering something else for sure, and lets him know you two will be out soon enough. you hear his footsteps trail off, and without a second to think, abby’s kissing you again. you whine against her lips and she coos, practically begging you to cum on her fingers.

“let go, give it to me baby, please.” your legs spasm and she chuckles, bringing her thumb to your clit as you gush onto her fingers. hips circling and following the movements of her thumb while you ride it out, abby watches in amazement. she removes her fingers from you as you come down, and makes quick work of her own bottoms. discarding them on the floor, she grabs one of your legs for leverage and swings one of her own over your torso. positioning her pussy right over your own, she trails a line of kisses down your calf and to your knee. resting her forehead against your leg and huffing when she finally grinds down into you.

your mouth falls agape, and you reach to touch her; any of her. her arms, her hips, her chest. gasping while she bites the meaty part of your calf, you buck into her and she throws her head back at the increased friction.

“such a good girl, y’know that..? so fucking good..” her hips rut back and forth and sweat drips from her forehead and runs down your leg. looking down at where the two of you connect, abby spits on to the both of you and fucks you harder. she’s the one to whine this time, so fucking pent up from living with you for fucking months and not already doing this. guilt starts to grow heavy in her stomach again and she whimpers then kisses your ankle, folding your leg to rest against her shoulder. she looks down at you and cups you face, clit still rubbing against you. “m’sorry.. fuck.” she grips your face harder and her pace quickens, incoherently mumbling out apologies and you feel your second orgasm start to swirl.

you shush at her and move your own hips quicker to keep up, “no, no abby, please..” she throws her head back again and her hands move to grope at your tits, you look up at her with forgiving eyes. nodding, as if to telepathically tell her that it's okay. that you want this and that you forgive her, she nods back and groans as loud as you’ve ever heard. you lightly tap her bicep and bring her back to the moment. whimpering, “gonna cum again, abs, please..”

she breathes and nods her head again, “m’almost there baby, almost..” sniffling, she really pushes down into you and her hips falter just slightly. “want you to cum with me, ‘kay?” she keeps fucking herself against you and you tremble, trying to move with her but you’re too lost in pleasure.

she winces and bucks her hips criminally fast; ushering you, and herself, to finally let go. she pants and sweats above you, her own orgasm crashing into her while you cling to her for dear life. pathetically writhing into her as you begin to unravel yourself. melting back into the bed sheets as she rides the both of you through your highs. her hips begin to slow and she’s kissing up and down your leg again. nudging her nose against your thigh, with a finalizing and triumphant breath.

you slowly creep back into reality and feel abby's weight shift off and away from you, just barely noticing her shimmy her shorts back up. she wobbles out of the room and returns with a damp towel, wiping the two of you down. she lets you lay and rest while she digs in her shorts pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, she takes one out and lights it, and then crawls into bed with you.

she tucks you under her arm and wraps your blanket around you both, taking a long drag from her smoke and flicking the ash somewhere to her side. exhaling and turning the cigarette towards you, she slides the filter between your lips and lets you get a good pull.

it stays this way for a while, quiet and still. wrapped up in eachother, you two finish the smoke together and she puts it out right on your concrete floor. she pulls you in even closer and kisses your head. you sigh and close your eyes, saying it back for the first time, “i love you too, abby.”

jeeeeez, editing this was sooo headache-flavored. anyway! happy reading! wish me a decent recovery, and also?? lmk if you guys want a more in-depth story behind my fucked-up toe or pictures for that matter lol!!!

[emeryhall]

Thank you @monbons, @rimeswithpurple, @run-for-chamo-miles, and @roomwithanopenfire for the tags! I'm so excited to see pieces of everybody's fest fics. And here are way more than six sentences from my super secret CORB collab.

I place my hand on the bottom of the metal pitcher while I steam the half-and-half so that I can gauge the temperature, and as the espresso dribbles away for his pumpkin mocha breve, I pick up a paper cup and write babe on the side.  It’s only when I’m sprinkling cocoa over the foam that I catch what I’ve done.  “Fuck!”  I scribble out abe and write az, so that the cup reads baz. Only, that’s not right either. I know skinny jeans’ name. I pretend like I don’t and I ask him every time and he always says, “Basil.” Not Baz. Not like I’m on nickname terms with Basil. I scribble out az and write asil.  “Did you forget the alphabet, Snow?”  I scribble out asil and write ite me after the b.  “Not at all,” I say and hand the coffee over.  Baz—no, Basil—stares at all the scribbling, and I swear to Merlin—Merlin? what the fuck?—god, I swear to god his mouth parts and he runs his tongue over his incisors, like he’s actually thinking about biting me. 

Tags and hellos and forgive-me-for-rarely-participatings under the cut!

@artsyunderstudy @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @iamamythologicalcreature @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

@mooncello @raenestee @bookish-bogwitch @larkral @shrekgogurt

@orange-peony @alexalexinii @best--dress @messofthejess @ileadacharmedlife

@ic3que3n @brilla-brilla-estrellita @hushed-chorus @noblecorgi @facewithoutheart

@nightimedreamersworld @supercutedinosaurs @letraspal @aristocratic-otter @prettygoododds

@skeedelvee @rbkzz @fiend-for-culture @talentpiper11 @theearlgreymage

[cvnt4him]

Ik that most of your stuff is nsfw (not complaining) but I was wondering if you could do something about an amusement park date w Izuku where the reader is kind of horrified of rides but gets on them anyway lol 💗 Love your writing SO much 🫶

I promise promise promise I write other things than just smut!! You can always go to my MHA masterlist to see ofc! Thank you so much for the love and appreciation, feel free to leave another req anytime you're always welcome<333

Writing this bc literally like 2 days ago I went to six flags n almost died.

Going on a surprise date with your boyfriend izuku midoriya was not supposed to be like this. You loved whenever he planned these, of course, but it just so happened to be the one thing in the world you were afraid of. Amusement parks.

It's not the park you were scared of, it was the rides, the rollercoasters. How high into the sky they'd get and those oh so terrifying drops. Don't even get me started on the loops they do and when they go backwards n twist n turn n shit, n how fast they go?! For fucks sake.

You were petrified. Literally shaking in your boots just staring at the entrance sign of the park, your eyes slowly moved to your boyfriends excited face the way he was blazing with excitement and happiness. You could tell he wanted this with you, to experience a traditional moment in girlfriend and boyfriend history.

Izuku was adorable by all means, and you loved him with ALL of your heart, but this was just something you weren't sure you could do. I mean, scary rides that go super duper fast and could go off the rails at any given moment whilst you're in the sky? It's a death wish waiting to happen.

“ surprise!! Are you excited? I'm so excited! I got us VIP passes so we get to skip the lines and go first! I can't wait to do this with you!!! First we'll go on the superman, then we'll go to the..-”

As he trailed off into exact details of what exactly you'd be doing suddenly you felt something swarm your tummy. It wasn't something as angelic as butterflies either...

“ grreeeeat...”

You cut izuku off mid sentence which made his eyes shoot directly to you, the way his smile dropped was fucking hilarious, but also heartbreaking at the same time. His eyes grew wide and started searching your face for any sign of discomfort or anything, he found exactly what he was looking for. He seen the way you were nervous and fiddling with the hem of your shirt, he cupped your face and pulled you closely placing a gentle kiss on the bridge of your nose.

“ hon, is everything alright?”

The worry in his eyes hurt your heart. You couldn't let his money that he spent on VIP PASSES.... Go to waste. You exhaled through your nose and sucked it up.

“ I'm fine, my love. Just hungry I guess, is there anything to eat?”

His loving smile reappeared, he patted your head gently before speaking to you in such a soft manner assuring you that not only would everything be okay, but you probably shouldn't eat first if you're going to go on fast rides.

Fuck.

The next two hours were spent on terrifying rides you tried your hardest to get through, you almost threw up a couple of times but that's not something he definitely needs to know. Your legs were wobbly and your stomach was swirling, you tried to catch your breath but your racing heart was not helping. Your hair was a mess, your cheeks were red due to the heat and worst of all you felt like the earth was spinning.

All the whole izuku was yipping and yapping ab how you should 'do it again' n how 'you should try the Texas Giant' which is known for being one of the scariest rides there. You literally started shaking at the mere mention of the ride, whimpering lowly as he grabbed your hand and dragged you to it.

Of course being the obedient partner you are, you suffered through it and had your eyes closed the entire time, you screamed loudly and held onto your boyfriend and the ride buckles for dear life terrified you were going to fall out.

After getting off you held onto the railings for dear life literally thanking everything above for not letting you die. Izuku however was more worried about your pictures that had gotten taken whilst you were on the ride.

“ wh- what..”

“ look! Look at how cute you look snuggled up close to me like that!”

You two must've been looking at two completely different pictures because the one you seen was you holding onto his shirt for dear life, screaming and pleading to not die whilst your hair was all over the place, it even looked like tears were prickling at your eyes. It was embarrassing and the fact everyone could see it made you feel even more hot.

It was burning up outside and you felt dizzy, those fast rides were NOT helping at all. You gulped down, dehydrated and terrified, wobbly legs hardly getting you to where you needed to go. You weakly call out to izuku who with a smile on his face turns back to look at you, he seen your estate and rushed to your side pulling you into the nearest shack with fans and drinks ordering you one instantly.

He watched dover you with a frown, worried he might be pushed you too far. He knew you had a fear of heights but he figured this could be fun, you two could overcome it together like those cheesy romcoms.

It broke izukus heart that this unfortunately wasn't like those stupid movies, as sad and disappointed as he was that you both had to leave due to you being terribly overheated and dizzy, he was glad you were okay.

The train ride home you look so sad, your rosey cheeks all puffed out while you looked at your shoes with a small frown. Izuku took notice and frowned alongside you, he placed one of his hands on top of tours and squeezed it lightly getting you to acknowledge him. once you look up to him a welcoming smile spreads across his freckled face, small dimples being present.

“ are you alright, hon?”

“ tsk, I'm fine. J's feelin’ bad I ruined your day.. you spent all that money on those VIP passes and I chickened out...”

That broke izukus heart knowing this was eating away at you. Izuku didn't care about money, or how much he'd spent, or how it'd "go to waste". He cared about spending time with his partner because he loves you. he squeezed your hand once more before completely embracing you in a hug. No matter how embarrassing you might've looked or how red you were due to the heat, he'd love you regardless and he was glad that despite your crippling fear of heights you went along with him.

“ y/n, don't worry about any of that. I don't care about that, so neither should you. I just wanted to spend time with you.. I'm glad you came along with me and rode the rides that you did! But I deeply apologize that you felt like you couldn't tell me no, that you didn't want to do it. I love you always, and nothing will change that.”

He was just too adorable and loving for you. Sometimes you felt as if you didn't deserve him, which is natural. He's such a great and caring and selfless guy it's normal to feel that way when you finally have something good. He was just so cute he was making you want to bite him n squeeze his stupid baby-like cheeks.

“ -and besides,.. we get to use those passes all year round. So don't worry about it, if you're ever feeling brave again we can just come back!”

Huh. Well there you go. A bright side to the dark side, he really did think this entire thing through didn't he. The perfect man that izuku was, and he was all yours. You loved him so much and you couldn't wait to show him just how much.

“ next time we go on a "surprise date" I'll let you know before hand it's not an amusement park, haha!!”

“ okay, y’dork.”

You sighed and snuggled into his chest, he chuckled at your words and held you close. Obviously due to the heat it didn't take long for you to let go of him but you held his hand regardless, no amount of sweaty palms could make you let go of him.

AN: I know people don't normally like when I write anything other than smut but since I've been away from writing anything other than little imagines n shit I enjoyed this. I hope you all do too<3