#i'm still sad as fuck
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Case Closed.
#dimension 20#d20#mentopolis#dimension 20 fanart#imelda pulse#hunch curio#the fix#elias hodge#daniel fucks#conrad schintz#anastasia tension#my art#what a wonderful series#I'm so sad to see it go...#I might finish up a few wip posters I still have for it though ;)
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looking back on a crime scene that he created
#edward elric#fullmetal alchemist#color study#photoshop#bro fuck photoshop and fuck my computer bc I don't run anything but the internet and ps on this rickety thing and it still can't handle it#fma03#fma#fmab#I'm SORRY he always ends up cuter than I intend#he was supposed to look annoyed but he just looks small and sad sawree#fan art#art#this pose is not my fave at all but. whatever
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weird day to have been an rt fan several years ago
#waveridden.txt#so many of my friends today are people i know because of rtah. either directly or indirectly#the people i met in that fic scene... like 8-10 years ago at this point are still some of my best friends and my mutuals#this is like. so fucked. i am sad and vindictive and outraged and feeling lots more stuff i'm not getting into outside of group chats lmao
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I really like that they made Jor-El speak Kryptonian and Clark unable to understand him. The whole "aliens speak English" thing that happens in every goddamn media has bothered me all my life. Ik sometimes Clark just gets zapped in the brain for insta-second language but that always felt like a cheap shortcut.
Jor-El had a lot on his mind when he set up that magic spaceship okay. The world was ending and he was trying to do as much as he could before time ran out so he could be there for his son. He was rushing. He likely didn't consider Kal would be raised with a whole different language and not know any Kryptonian nor have anyone to teach him.
#my adventures with superman#two talks#he still might get zapped with kryptonian but at least it wasn't immediate#let there be a language barrier#it hits home so hard too bc i barely speak my mom's language and can't really talk to my family members bc of iz#it*#that's what being raised on a different planet IS! It's isolating and sad bc that's your FAMILY and you can't even understand them#fucking love superman#clark is so close and yet so far bc everything he craves to know about himself is Right There#but he doesn't speak the language of his own people and has no way to learn#it's heartbreaking and i'm so fucking here for it
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"Stillborn? No, no, still born." -- DPXDC AU
Based off a comment I saw where Bruce knew about Talia's pregnancy in the earlier comivs, and was ecstatic to be a father. So much so that Talia feared he'd give up being Batman for it, so when she gave birth she put the baby (Damian) on a doorstep and (seemingly) told Bruce that the baby was stillborn.
Instead of Damian, that baby was Danny! Meet Daniel Brown, the 14 year old foster kid whose been living with the Fenton family for the last two years. He's about two years older than Damian.
His last name, "Brown", was a generic surname given to him because the note he came with didn't have one on it. It just had the name "Danyal" on it, but albeit 'Daniel' was the one that had been put into the system for, I'll be totally frank here, racism reasons.
(I looked it up to make sure, and it's generally not permissible for foster parents to change the names of their foster kids even if it's a permanent residency, and for that reason Danny doesn't have the last name "Fenton".)
Danny's got ✨~issues!~✨ He's been through a handful of homes growing up, most of them terrible for a variety of reasons. Which has, as a result, left lasting scars. He's generally a very sweet kid, just very distrustful and jumpy. He's got the signs of a kid suffering from PTSD, and a handful of other issues including attachment and insomnia. His inferiority complex could rival Damian's, and that's going to make for an interesting mutual hatred for when they finally meet.
(something I'll get into later)
He still has the blanket he was found in. It's made of a very high quality material and is a beautiful emerald green with little golden thread accents, it's high quality as a result has Danny clinging onto a desperate hope that his bio family might be out there, and the only reason they gave him up was because of some outside factor. It's been taken a few times in old foster homes, and he's flipped out each time.
While he still calls Jack and Maddie by their names, he likes them well enough. The bar isn't that high though, and while they're some of the better foster parents he's had, "better" doesn't equal "safest". Their laboratory malpractice. Basically, C- Fenton Parents. They're negligent by virtue of being engrossed in their work, but they do care equally about Jazz and Danny. So he doesn't hold it against them that much.
He kinda prefers it that way, their loud affection is overwhelming and Danny doesn't know what to do with their attention, even if he craves it. It's a bit of a complicated situation.
They took in Danny because they genuinely wanted another child, but didn't want a big age gap between them and Jazz. It was actually Jack's idea to foster, and they discussed it with Jazz beforehand. She was all for the idea. Thus, a handful of weeks later, a ton of paperwork, and inspection later, and Daniel Brown entered their household with a trash bag in one hand and eyes like shards of stained glass.
His relationship with Jazz is kinda strained, but that's by virtue of her constant psychoanalyzing and helicoptering. Like with the parents, Danny's overwhelmed by the attention and also just, straight up doesn't like the fact that she's telling him that there's something wrong with him. He knows that, thank you. He pushes her away when she does this.
Other than that though? When Jazz isn't smothering him and is acting like an actual sibling and not a third parent, they're pretty close, and Danny really likes her. They've hung out a few times on their own volition, and Jazz showed him how to take better care of his long hair.
His school situation,, pretty similar to canon with the bullying, albeit with a few more instances of him blowing a fuse and lashing out against his attackers. He's a rather angry kid, but it's quiet. It builds up, piles on top of itself, until eventually, like a volcano, it erupts and burns everyone within radius.
Danny's got a fire core, not an ice core. Phantom's hair is made of white magma; thick and heavy, setting itself on fire when his anger runs hot. When he gets angry, his skin begins to char and split open to reveal pulsating lava underneath, and he crackles and pops like a raging forest fire.
I haven't decided yet on how he meets the batfam -- i've got two ideas but they're both in opposition to each other, and drastically alter how the rest of the plot goes. But I do know that him and Damian hate each other in the beginning. And it has nothing to do with inheritance or "being the blood son" -- although their blood relation absolutely plays the major role in their disdain for each other.
Simply put, they're jealous of each other for the same thing: thinking that the other was wanted.
Damian hates Danny because, unlike Damian, Bruce knew about Danny since conception and wanted him from the moment he heard about him. He had a whole nursery set up, and still does. He never took it down -- just locked the door. Damian was thrust upon Bruce without warning, and he feels like he forced himself into the family. And while on some level Damian knows and understands that Bruce wants him and loves him as much as his other children, that doubt and feeling of inferiority still remains. He looks at Danny and sees him with what Damian always feels he needs reaffirmed.
Meanwhile, Danny hates Damian because he looks at him and sees him with everything Danny's ever wanted. He hates him because Damian grew up knowing both of their parents, with one of them for most of his life, and then moved over to the other. There was never a moment where Damian was (seemingly) left to doubt his place within the family. Damian was raised with the very same woman who left Danny on a doorstep, with no clue to his identity beyond a little green blanket and a note with only a first name. Damian was wanted everywhere, and Danny was wanted nowhere. Damian is Danny's replacement in his eyes.
(It's the little revelation that Damian grew up with their mother that elevates Danny from being quietly envious of Damian to downright despising him. What did Damian do, that Danny didn't? He could live with Damian living with Bruce -- Bruce didn't know Danny was even alive. But him living with their mom? Are you fucking kidding him?)
Damian never outright attacks Danny physically, but it's not like he hides that he didn't like Danny. Meanwhile, Danny, in all his repressive anger, quietly despised him from a distance until finally one wrong snide side-comment has him blowing up and it becomes a screaming match. They're both just enough similar to each other that when they look at each other they really just see a mirror.
They'll work it out together, eventually. But it'll be ugly and cruel and explosive, and they'll start mending the bridge to become brothers in more than just blood relation in the end.
But yeah, stillborn Danny has... a lot going for him.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#additions. opinions and brainstorming are encouraged!! i'd love to hear what other people's thoughts on this are and brainstorm with them.#the brainstorming is the best part.#stillborn? no still born au#poc danny fenton#stillborn au#long haired danny fenton#danny isn't surprised by the fact that the fentons were greenlit for foster parenting considering some of the foster parents HE'S had#those two ideas differed in who found out about who first. Whether it be Bruce or Danny. bruce finding out about danny first results in#Bruce seeking him out first and being able to explain his side of the story first without misunderstandings. this is the Happy Version#Danny finding out about Bruce first results in him getting an official DNA test done and intentionally seeking him out to introduce himself#except when he finds out about damian's existence his shit self worth results in him jumping to the conclusion that his bio family never#wanted him in the first place. that they weren't looking for him and instead just up and replaced him. This is the Fucking SAD Version#and includes a conversation where Danny looks Batman dead in the eyes and tells him that he was 'daddy dearest's fucking reject'#danny completely unaware that batman = bruce wayne btw. for the extra angst. bruce has to stand there and take it. rip#this poor boy needs antidepressants. therapy. and rehab. probably. i've thought about him having an old addiction that he was recovering#from prior to the fentons. but its not confirmed yet. if i go through with it its either gonna be nicotine or like painkillers. i need to#wait and think about it when i'm not on the angst train. i have a tendency to go overboard when i am. its the endorphin high#Danny calls Damian his 'fucking replacement' and Damian tackles him.#starry makes another angsty au
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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lil secret desire of mine is like. i hide my face a lot and I fucking dream about being forced out of that; someone pulling my hands away, or grabbing my chin and making me look at them, or otherwise not letting me hide away
sexually or not that shit slaps so good every fucking time 😵💫
#fuckin. soft or violent both are so amazing#sexually context is great#but it's also so fucking good when like. you're sad and want to be comforted#that idea that they still wanna see your face they want you to stop hiding enough to pull you to them#oiughjgg#hi I'm normal and definitely don't have any trauma what are you talking about
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All this softness and no one is here to feel it. Shameful.
CashApp | Venmo | Ko-fi
#i'm so sad to be leaving this place in a few days#gotta take advantage of the mirror while i still can#anyone wanna come fuck me in front of it?#mine 🩶#princess pics
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I'm happy that the "Helen is of Sparta, not Troy" post is getting seen and people are giving love to her as they should but I'm getting a wee bit frustrated by the Menelaus inclusion with the whole "She was a possession to others and never had a choice".
Yes, Helen is a victim of fate and multiple horrible circumstances. She gets kidnapped by Theseus and Paris. So much blame is being put on her when she really isn't at fault and doesn't have much choice.
A choice she made though? WAS MENELAUS!
The Oath of Tyndareus was all about how "If you want to have a chance of marrying her, you have to swear to respect her and her choice and defend their marriage if it's needed".
If anything, Menelaus was her "prize"! Not the other way around!!! And they are clearly shown caring for one another!!! uyfuygluhyutfugy
#we technically don't know EXACTLY why she chose him but that doesn't matter with this. She still chose him.#She picked the goofy guy!!! :D She picked the silly sealy guy!!!🦭#Menelaus: Hello! I'm Helen's Husband🥰#Not people erasing women's agency even when it's explicitly stated.#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#menelaus#helen of sparta#helen x menelaus#tagamemnon#greek mythology#fuck it. I'll use normal tags. I'm getting sad about this. More for Helen.#She didn't have a choice all the time but the time we KNOW she did and people will act like she didn't.#That's not even going into her yelling at Aphrodite and Paris and her knocking on the side of the horse!#this is very semi-unserious btw. I'm talking about the Sealy boy. That's clearly for the silly.
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…Tired of losing my nightmares are lucid I ain’t won a battle in my head since this war’s fuckin’ begun…..
#yes I’m still here unfortunately#not by my choice tho#against my will#i’m losing my mind#I still don’t understand#broken heart#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#he told me to un-alive myself#you can’t tell a suicidal individual that#and he already knew I am#anyway I’m under observation#like I fucking want to be watched 🙄#trans woman#trans women#sad girl#i'm sad#sadness#transexual#this is what trans looks like#trans experience#trans positivity
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Major Shōgun Ep. 9 spoilers:
Yabushige truly gives meaning to the term 'rat bastard'. Toranaga factored his inevitable betrayal into his plans, and Yabushige STILL somehow managed to spring a surprise betrayal. If it wasn't so horrible, it would be impressive how two-faced the man manages to be.
So, about Mariko .... (I'm actually glad I randomly got spoiled the day before seeing this episode and was prepared otherwise I would not have survived what happened to her.)
My take ... Mariko's death was 'pointless' in the same way Nagakado's death was pointless. Nagakado died a senseless death that failed to accomplish anything, but then Toranaga gave his son's death meaning and honour by thanking Nagakado for dying to earn him some time. Mariko blocking the door with her own body served nothing in the sense that it wouldn't prevent Ishido's men from getting in nor did it change the fate of anyone else in that room. But by choosing to sacrifice herself like that and die at the hands of Ishido's agents, Mariko derailed Ishido's plan to take her captive and ensured she'd become a martyr to Toranaga's cause. Mariko not only fulfilled Toranaga's plan, she exceeded it.
Mariko's mission was to get the hostages freed or die trying and in so doing force Ishido to dishonour himself by openly revealing his hand instead of keeping up the facade that he's not keeping anyone against their will. Mariko did both: got the hostages freed and died a martyr to the cause. (Yes, Ishido may choose to turn around and keep the hostages anyway instead of releasing them as agreed, but in doing so he'll only dishonour himself further and lose more support.)
When Toranaga gets to Osaka, he'll have the moral highground and the support of the other samurai families who didn't want Mariko to die like that and who now see Ishido for what he really is. (Also, when the time comes, I think the Christian Regents will now be prepared to turn against Ishido.)
And Mariko got what she'd wanted all along: dying with honour in response to what happened to her family. Her death was meaningful. She served her duty like her father told her to. And she got to spend her last night being at peace and experiencing something like happiness with John.
Buntaro dishonoured her for so many years by keeping her alive for selfish reasons and when he finally offered her the release of death, it was also for selfish reasons. Buntaro was only willing to allow her to finally die because HE wanted to die then and wouldn't be affected by her death since he'd be gone too. Buntaro ordered Mariko to stay alive. John asked Mariko to stay alive many times, and when she ultimately wouldn't change her mind, he not only accepted and respected her decision, he honoured it by offering to second her. Mariko died knowing John finally understood. He finally got it.
Mariko died, and now she is finally free.
EDIT to add:
She died calling herself Akechi Mariko instead of Toda Mariko. She disavowed her husband and her unwanted marriage with her last words. She was truly freeing herself!!!
#shogun#shōgun#shogun spoilers#shogunedit#toda mariko#lady mariko#anna sawai#give her all the awards!!!#new patron saint unlocked#our lady mariko#but i'm still sad as fuck#crying like omi#may have to write fanfic to console myself#*meine
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so we all saw @dr2-hell's updated bunnymaeda design right. because i sure as hell did
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#GRRGRGRGRRGHHH I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS DESIGNNNNN . I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH#wanted to do some pose practice. so i went to my beloved pinterest board#and . considering i have been thinking nonstop abt bunnymaeda today. he seemed to be the best subject#this outfit is GORGEOUS and beautifully designed to like every last detail. i am truly insane about it#that said. oh my GOD it takes so long to draw.... all those damn BELTS#worth it though it's so so so fucking pretty. i want those boots and gloves i am Jealous#still not over the zipper. guys the zipper goes. it goes ALL the way to the tail. do you know what that Means#it means something i can let you infer. it also means that i can both draw bulge and evoke pussy imagery <3#<- most vulgar tag i have put on an art post in a while. mutuals you didn't read that one#really sad i couldn't include his little clover earring bc i think it's so cute#unfortunately i draw the maeda with little hair tufts at his ears#anyways i love this design so much. i am going to. Eat Him <3
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*Tap mic*
Yes, it is I - your poor little Dollya
As some of you may have known already because of my constant whining and bickering for the past few days, my original blog was flagged and I'm trying to appeal. Things seem to not be on my side, though, so I figured a new blog is a must.
I won't delete the og blog, there are too many things going on over there and I simply can not. All my contributions to the DoL fandom, my AU and asks and stuffs,... have all been hidden away from the tags.
Not gonna lie I was terribly discouraged and couldn't pick up a pen to draw or do anything for several days. Terrible, just simply terrible, to look at the ask box or that stupid default avatar icon... But, well, you know, it is what it is, no point just weeping around so might as well make a new place to post stuffs!
This is a sub-blog with the same email address as the flagged one, I think I would still use the same tags as the original flagged blog: Dollya art, Dollya ask,... and I won't repost my higher interaction posts here either, that's just bitter.
I will post more "community-friendly" kinds of stuff here, so spicier asks or requests oughta go to the original blog' ask box... I don't really know, I guess things will kinda fall into the right places after some time... What do you call it? Settle down?
Anyway, I'll try to be positive. After all, the Pandora box was opened, so if I don't hold onto the tiny hope left behind, I will have nothing.
Let's just hope for the best.
#dollya art#dol pc#robin the orphan#dol robin#dol fanart#degrees of lewdity#dol#You can already tell I'm still very sad :( and I'm gonna be a bitch about it to the day Tumblr un-flagged me that blog is my everything#I didn't spend every last thread of my sanity drawing and answering to be flagged fuck it I haven't even opened any commission slot yet#I won't let that blog go what if my mutuals come back one day and wonder where am I?? Some of them've gone for a while I want to wait#my face is exactly how my icon looks: fucking bitter and can't do anything#Lya the Blossom#Lyah the Emancipated
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'Harellan'
Solas: Dragon age
Mixed media on paper
#I was aiming for the ancient sad puppy eyes#the 'i'm faced with the burden of my mistakes every day' kinda look#haunted by the past kinda vibe#the look while thinking of Lavellan kinda look#the 'fuck i fucked up do you think she still thinks of me kinda look??!#'I have only dedicated the last few thousand murals to my Vhenan while drowning in my sorrows and Heartbreak' kind of look#honestly heartbreak is a good look on him? I mean yes he's one of my favourite characters but i still like watching him suffer i am sorry#and i'm awful#like we're all suffering in solavellan hell#heartbreak solas#solavellan#solavellen hell#solasmance#solas dragon age#solas dread wolf#da: dreadwolf#fen'harel#ancient betrayer#harellan#the dread wolf#solavellan hell#da fanart#fanart#my art#my fanart#dragon age fanart#dragon age#traditional media#illustration#dragon age inquisition
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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Idk I was thinking about that invention that let them see into the future. Like a revision of it or something that showed different possible realities and outcomes
(Plus I just needed an in between commissions doodle thing)
#i haven't drawn them in a bit sorry it's so messy#I'm still trying to work on commissions I'm sorry it's been taking so long I've been so fucking busy#and also sad#and hghghhh#I'm sorry#pinky and the brain#dark pinky#my art#art#doodle#drawing#digital art#fanart
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