#i'm spending two weeks with you in china

[whos-the-seme]

Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.

Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.

("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."

"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)

But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.

At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.

Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.

("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."

"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."

"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏

"Qinghua."

"Shutting up and finishing the work." )

Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.

"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.

"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.

("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒

"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")

The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.

On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.

("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"

"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"

"..." 👀

"..." 👀)

The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.

(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)

----

One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.

Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.

Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.

Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.

"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."

"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.

"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."

Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.

Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.

"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.

Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.

Shit.

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Think Fast, You Only Get One Try - [Part 1]

♥ prev | next

♥ series masterlist | main masterlist

♥ pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

♥ chapter one synopsis: after almost two months it was finally time to tell lando about your daughter.

♥ smau + written - fc: girls on pinterest - none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing !!!

♥ a/n: thank you so much for almost 400 followers and 1k+ notes on the intro <3 i really hope this part 1 lives up to your expectations! The next parts will have more smau and will ideally be longer (I just had to get the plot rolling with this first chapter lol)

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yourusername vroom vroom

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˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

You knocked on Lando’s penthouse apartment door, knowing there was no going back now. Bless your sister for being able to find where he lives in just a couple of minutes on the internet.

The man who opened the door wasn’t Lando, but Max Fewtrell. His gaze narrowed.

“Who are you?”

“I’m not sure if you remember me... but I met you and Lando at a club in Melbourne last year.”

His eyes saccaded between you and the baby you were holding.

"Lando," he shouted from the doorway. "Stay here. I'll go get him."

Max made his way to one of Lando's rooms, where he was talking to Oscar.

"There's a woman here to see you," he paused. "With a baby. She said she knew you from Melbourne last year."

Lando got up quickly and made his way to the front door. Once he got there, he stared at you and your daughter.

You nodded. "Her name is Camila."

He held his arms out, silently asking to hold her. After you handed Camila to him, he gently rocked her in his arms.

"Come in."

-

You had a very long conversation on the couch with Lando as his two friends eavesdropped from the hallway. They didn't even bother going into another room and closing the door.

"I want to be a part of her life, if that's okay with you?"

You nodded. "Could you start tomorrow?"

"What?" Lando blinked at you.

"My sitter quit, and I have work tomorrow. I checked your race calendar; you just got back from Japan and don't have to go to Shanghai until next week."

"Yeah, but I still have sim and training and-"

"You better hope your physical therapist knows how to rock a baby to sleep then," you said sternly.

"I can help if you want," Oscar piped up. "With Max and I, I'm sure you'll be able to spend some time with your daughter."

You smiled at Oscar. "I'll be leaving you in charge."

That statement elicited an eye roll out of Lando.

He shifted his gaze from Camila to you. "Alright, yeah, I'll take care of her for the next few days."

"Thank you," you placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll drop her off tomorrow at 10?"

˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

-The Next Day-

liked by maxfewtrell, logansargeant, and 403,584 more

oscarpiastri babysitting duty

view comments

user7 who's baby?

user3 oscar would be such a cute girl dad

lilyzniemer I agree

user1 🥹

user5 AWWW

user8 that should be me 😔

user2 holding your hand

user9 that should be me

user4 making you laugh

user12 you and lily are so cute :(

˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

-first is lando's phone, second is yours-

˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

-A Week Later-

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landonorris life lately

view comments

user7 Shanghai is soooo pretty

user9 so glad china back on the calendar

oscarpiastri proof that instagram is fake

maxfewtrell he's forgetting about sm REALLY important in his "life lately"

user8 ???

user2 @/oscarpiastri @/maxfewtrell what do you know

˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

˖ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖

taglist; @hc-dutch, @papaya-twinks, @2pagenumb, @formulaal, @erin-odonnell04, @drunkinthemiddleoftheday, | @kissesandmartinis, @ironmaiden1313, @six-call, @wolflover384, @tremendousstarlighttragedy, | @ilivbullyingjeongin, @celestialend, @silentreader128, @wolflover384, @ellesssssxzxz | @clowngirlsstuff, @ln4smiamitrophy, @whoneedsgeorge, @chezmardybum, @warlike-morning, | @gigicisneros, @hard4ndsoft, @eveninggstar, @jolixtreesunn, @acesofspadess,| @formulaonebuff, @notpeachybby, @shesmugirl, @mxdi0, @ririyulife, | @kravitzwhore, @bellinghambby22, @helaenatargaryensfavoritebug, @maplesyrupsainz, @harrysdimple05, | @pippyth3hippy, @noneofyourfbusinessworld,

@littlegrapejuice, | @majx00, | @si1ver06

[sunrizef1]

What happens in Vegas pt 12

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader

Warnings: Cursing, briefly mentioned puke (referenced), panic attacks (referenced), the NFL

Authors note: wanted to get this out before the race tomorrow, I actually quite like this chapter

Masterlist

—————————————————

MESSAGES

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Austin, TX

liked by logansargeant charles_leclerc16 and 2,309,099 others

yourusername happy to be back in Austin, ready to recharge 🔋

Tagged: logansargeant, l/nranch

load comments…

user1 the speed with which she left china is honestly so funny

user2 the race was two days ago why’s she already in America 😭

user3 why’s she at a farm???

user4 her grandpas family got rich by owning a really successful agricultural company so both her grandparents decided to buy a ranch outside of Austin, which is where y/n grew up

user5 her dad being English always throws me off when I think about her family tbh

user6 her grandpa went to a race once and made the joke that the Americanism skipped a generation lol

user7 wait I’m new to y/n, how’s her dad English but the rest of her family’s American?

user8 her grandparents were based in England when he was born but they ended up really busy so they sent him to a boarding school from the time he was really young, hence the accent

user9 they’re so confusing 😭

user10 my favorite cowgirl

user11 she couldn’t wait till cota to go home???

logansargeant your grandma likes me more than you

yourusername no she doesn’t

user12 I didn’t know Logan went with her

user13 where’s Charles???

yourusername added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername added to their story

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Las Vegas, NV

liked by killatrav taylorswift13 and 3,980,756 others

yourusername had a great time at the @/patrickmahomes charity golf gala this weekend! Grateful for the opportunity to show all these boys how it’s done out on the green and support charity at the same time! ⛳️

Might have to get you a different hat though 😉 @/killatrav

Tagged: logansargeant, killatrav, patrickmahomes

load comments…

user14 are those Porsche golf balls!?!?

user15 THEY EAT SO HARD

logansargeant I 100% beat you

yourusername I was 5 under par. You were 5 over. You lost.

logansargeant ☹️

user16 what a crossover

killatrav don’t hate the player, hate the game 🤷‍♂️

yourusername i dont hate the game, I just hate alpine

pierregasly ???

yourusername see you next week, Frenchie

user17 her and Pierres fake beef is genuinely so funny to me

user18 where's Charlesssss

user19 he liked the post, at least

user20 omg they're in Vegas! Remember what happened last time they were in Vegas…

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

📍Bellagio Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas

liked by charles_leclerc16 donnakelce and 6,989,870 others

yourusername Last night out in Vegas 😵‍💫

I'm, once again, honored to have been invited to the 15 and the Mahomies Charity Gala! Got to auction off a few paddock passes and also got to spend a great night out with friends!

Thanks so much Vegas, you were a lot better this time than you were last time.

Tagged: logansargeant, taylorswift13, killatrav, patrickmahomes, charles_leclerc16

load comments…

user21 CHARLES CONTENT?!?!

user22 she seems happier than she has before

user23 Logan and Taylor swift in the same room is not something I’d ever expect tbh

patrickmahomes thanks for coming! ❤️💛

yourusername thanks for inviting us! ❤️🖤

user24 this is just so American

taylorswift13 🫶

yourusername 🫶

user25 more Logan content this week than Williams gives in a month

user26 they’ve been to like three different states already lmao

user27 I need the home field advantage from Miami for these two this weekend

logansargeant I’m so tired

yourusername at least it was fun 🤷‍♀️

logansargeant lol, it definitely was

user28 the first pic is so sibling coded

user29 “Mon ange” CHARLESSS 🥹

user30 the fact he’s tagged on the messages 😭

user31 THE LAST LINE ABOUT VEGAS?!?! IM SCREAMING!!!

TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

TWITTER

MESSAGES

[fsnotes]

“If I skated for the sake of winning, I would do it differently”

On December 29th a morning radio programme Dome Square on Latvijas Radio 4 broadcasted an interview with Deniss (in Russian). They discussed figure skating in Latvia, plans for the future, ways to deal with tiredness and avoiding the burnout, and of course dived into personal and sports philosophy. There are also some New Year wishes to the listeners!

Full recording available here.

Translation into English below the cut.

In December Deniss Vasiljevs became a seven-time champion of Latvia. ‘If I skated for the sake of winning, I would do it differently’, says the athlete about his performances in an interview with my colleague Natalya Meshcheriakova for “Dome Square”. The talented athlete spoke about his rules of life, summarised the results of the past year, set goals for the future, and also shared how he prefers to recuperate.

DV: I really enjoy coming back to Latvia. When I see all the younger generations, it makes me very happy, and in its own way it motivates me to keep skating and to keep, in fact, skating for them too. And to come to Latvia… There are not so many competitions in December, and to skate at your home ice rink, to do a full competition and try new elements is always very, very nice and very important for figure skating in the country. And I have always been motivated to do something useful for society (Deniss used the English word here, then translated himself). So it is a great pleasure for me to be here.

NM: The languages are getting confused, aren't they? What's that about, is it because you spend most time outside of Latvia?

DV: I speak English practically all the time; also French, and I learnt Latvian, and I speak mostly Russian with my parents, so I have a little bit much [of the languages]. Even German manages to get in. Anyway, I'm still readjusting. I need a couple of days to fully come back and think in the language I speak.

NM: But you are in Latvia for a smaller part of the time. If you take a year, how much time do you spend here?

DV: This year, so far, I have only spent two days in Latvia.

NM: And where are you mostly based then?

DV: Now I'm in Switzerland, in Champéry, but I'm travelling a lot because of figure skating competitions, basically flying around the world. I've flown round the planet at least three times this year.

NM: Three times... Yes, I understand that there are competitions, there is a goal, motivation, but how do you fight fatigue? It probably requires a huge amount of, well, physical strength, and some special approach. How do you avoid the burn out?

DV: We have two opportunities to rest during a season; sometimes three. There are Christmas holidays, or New Year's Eve. These are very social ones. Then in the end of the season — somewhere in May — we get a real vacation, but usually it isn't longer than two weeks. And there's one just before the start of the season, two or three days, because the heavy summer preparation ends and seasonal work begins.

In a way, you get used to it. It's indeed very difficult when you can't sleep, when you have time zone changes all the time. Say, this year: I got a Grand Prix event in the US and another one in China. I went to China to compete for a week, came back for a week; went to America for a week, came back for a week to go somewhere else to compete again; spent a week again, and came back to China for a week; then came back to train for a week, and the next week I had to be [in Riga]. All this travelling, ice sessions, flying and training, it's hard enough. When it's not your first year like this, you adapt in your own way, but it's always very hard on the body. Just like now, when we're halfway through the season and you feel like you're already kind of a squeezed lemon.

NM: And how do you regain your strength? What helps you? What gives you that full-fledged rest, when you have it, yes, you said, in May, in December?

DV: Mostly I barricade myself in my room (laughs). Nothing but sleeping helps. So, my version of rest is mostly finding a quiet place and sleeping. Yet music is mostly used for work. I tend to relax, maybe, listening to classical music in the evening, or jazz, but…

NM: Probably with classical music you already imagine, like, how you would skate to this tune. It's a professional deformation already.

DV: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is. At one point, especially a couple of years ago, everything I did was about figure skating. Completely. Listening to music, watching ballet, doesn't matter no matter. I was watching the body movements and imagining how it's all going to look like, which is a little bit…. It makes you go crazy. To me, studying helped a lot.

NM: What do you mean exactly?

DV: I completed my Masters this year. It really helped me to... get out of figure skating? To just study and then come back to train and work.

NM: Where did you study, and how?

DV: In Latvia, at Daugavpils Universitāte. I got a lot of help with timing there, so I was able to study relatively freely in general. It helped a lot to not go crazy with sports. But in general everyone survives in their own way. My option is to always be interested in what's going on around me; learning something, trying to do something. Drawing.

NM: In the context of the year, how do you evaluate yourself? We know about your achievements, successes. Were these the goals you set for yourself?

DV: I've been skating for quite a few years now, and I have my own opinion of the system which is perhaps different from how many people understand it. So I chose my aspiration a long time ago: to try to compete with myself only. If I skated to win, I would do it differently. I skate because I enjoy it and because I'm as supportive as my coach is of being... a little old school. It's all about charisma, beauty, performance. Sport is a culture in its own way, rather than just athletics on ice. That's why the attitude is different in many ways: how we create the program, how we do everything. We stick to certain foundations, you could say, a certain quality, and we are very proud that we do it with virtue (Deniss used the English word again, translating himself right after).

NM: Seems like this approach is justified. Your awards prove it's the right bet.

DV: Sport is so much more than any award. Sport is a way of life, it's a... path of excellence (the English phrase in original). You have to do it the right way. You have to be honest, you have to really live according to those views; they are not for the sake of results, they are much more than that. And they create a better society. You support society through actually living with these... I don't know, values (the English word again). It's a way of living, and in its own way it requires you to be a leader of your own self.

NM: Does your coach help you with that, or are you just that kind of person on your own?

DV: It's certainly cultivated at first. It's how we teach the kids. Current figure skating is too much like... you take a board, sand it down and make it into a stool ("taburetka" in original). That's not how sport was intended to be. Sport is when you plant a seed and you keep watering it, create sunny conditions, and it grows. That's why you create a greenhouse — so that the seed grows better.

The idea is that you develop yourself. You can be clumsy, you can be gawky, but you do it yourself. You create your own character from the way you understand and explore the world. It's not that you've been grown and made, it's that you've grown yourself. And the help was in telling you: there's a jungle over there, go cut through it. Not just telling you that there is a road over there, take it and follow it, and let everyone rush and stand in traffic. That's why sport is self-exploration, a kind of self-awareness. Freedom to develop yourself. A never-ending road. So being an athlete is more than just doing your sport. And to be a good athlete, you have to develop yourself in so many ways. Figure skating is one of the best options, because you have not only athletics, but also choreography, dancing, theatre art. You need to bring a whole idea of a program to life... And don't get me started on costumes!

NM: But not everyone can probably take it. Too many things at once.

DV: It takes a lot of discipline, which you choose yourself very early on. Someone has to give you a push, but the choice is your own. A lot of kids probably can't make their own choice: you have to know what discipline is, and then you also have to know what you want. I don't even know how to do it right, but so many get off the tracks right at this point.

So I've seen what, four shifts already? I've been to two Olympics. It's been eight... nine years in seniors, and that's quite a long road. But there's no perfect way; you find your own. I don't aim to rack up maximum points or run the maximum time or do the perfect technique. I look at it more generally [broader]. I must be magnetic in my own way; express the idea of striving for perfection, and honour the fact that one can't achieve perfection.

But you should always strive to do your best in whatever you do; it doesn't matter if it's sports, studies, whatever. You've got to build character. And it will epitomise what you do later on. In sports, on the ice, off the ice, everywhere.

NM: Based on that, what are your plans for next year? Are you setting any goals?

DV: For now, I'm just aiming to... Every day it's pretty hard for me to keep myself in control, especially when I'm tired, and I just want to qualify for the Olympics and give my best. I have plans that I don't want to announce yet because they still, well, need to be done, and there's definitely science (the English word followed by self-translation), scientific evidence as to why it shouldn't be done. At least I really want to qualify and go to the Olympics for the third time. To really showcase the Latvian culture of sport!

Sport is much more than what we see on the ice during the four minutes of skating. It is, after all, the way training happens; the way we live; in general, everything we do epitomises a whole different world. In its own way. One illustration would be, for example, if you make coffee, you work on it so intensely that it ends up being some of the best coffee you'll ever drink. A lot of people probably don't question how you can make it better, better, better, better. But if you watch athletes who do strive for something greater, they usually can't separate an ordinary commitment from the sports one. Such aspiration for perfectionism is the lot of athletes.

NM: And your wishes, for the people of Latvia, for the listeners? The next year is about to come...

DV: It is possible to start life every day. Basically... this will probably sound silly, but one of the philosophies is that when you live, you need to die every morning. Every day is the last day. That's the only way you can make the most of it.

I guess my wishes are these: move and aspire every day. Aspire to do a little bit better, and to do a little bit easier, because easier is better! Aspire to live in motion; direct life towards something.

[putschki1969]

🇹🇭YKL vol.#20 ～Asia Tour 20th Special SETLIST～　【Bangkok】 Live Report🇹🇭

Wow, what a week it has been. My Thailand trip was an exciting but very exhausting experience. I'm finally back home and after spending an entire day just relaxing on Tuesday, I feel somewhat ready to tackle this live report. I'm back to work and there's a lot to do but I still want to post as much as possible before I lose all of my motivation. Still took me several days to finish this so I am sorry for the delay🙏 I'll start with some general stuff from the day of the live and then continue with a detailed report. Without further ado, let's get to it〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Before The Live

The concert was held on November 15th at Bangkok Union Hall. At that point I had already been in Thailand for two and a half days doing all sorts of Kalafina and touristy stuff. Needless to say, I was quite exhausted from my previous activities (more on that in a future post) but I was determined to enjoy the day to the fullest. The only major thing planned for that day was a meet-up with some fellow fans to get lunch and dinner so thankfully, nothing too strenuous. Although one could argue that social interactions like this are always a big struggle for me :P Anyway, I headed to the venue quite early in the morning to meet my friends. We were doing some last-minute shopping at a nearby mall to complete the presents for Keiko and Hikaru. Also, we wanted to check out our flower stand which had been put up earlier that morning. I was beyond happy to participate in this particular flower stand project. The HiKei chibis turned out super cute and the banner was also adorable (just look at little Moo Deng🦛). I'm a little bummed though that I didn't get to take the cardboard print home with me since the girls requested the flower stand to be brought to their dressing room after the live (initially, we had planned to take all the decorative stuff off the flower stand after the concert before the flower shop picked it up but alas, it wasn't meant to be). Oh well, we got all those sweet pics with Keiko and Hikaru so that pretty much erased any feelings of disappointment. Thankfully, I got my acrylic key-holders and stickers as a little consolation. I will certainly treasure them forever. During the meet-up with some fellow fans, I also got a bunch of presents, including some gorgeous fan-made articles for the two lives in China. Honestly, I feel so blessed to have received all of this. Thank you so much to everyone who thought of me!

Speaking of fellow fans, I appreciated everyone who came up to me to say "hi". I was also very happy about all the yummy souvenirs. The suncakes from Taiwan saved my life during the following days because I always had a lovely snack to accompany my morning coffee. Sorry if I came across as awkward or reserved to some of you, I am not used to being in big crowds like that and meeting strangers is not among my strengths. Also wish I had gotten more commemorative pics with everyone but oh well, in the heat of the moment it's easy to forget about stuff like that.

For lunch we had planned to go to a Hainanese Chicken place but unfortunately, they didn't have enough room for our group so we ended up going to KFC XD. I forgot to take pictures but our order was honestly not that exciting anyway. I was so eager to try spicy food during my stay in Bangkok but that stuff at KFC was a total let-down (probably our fault though for not looking properly at the menu - they may have had some spicier stuff that we just didn't see). Dinner that day more than made up for it though since my main dish was incredibly delicious. Don't ask me what it was called, it was some sort of fried pork concoction with garlic and chili, simply fabulous and probably one of the best things I had during that trip.

Despite having a lot of fun during these activities, I kinda regret not being able to see anything of the Loy Krathong festivities that day. The weird timing of the concert would have made it very inconvenient to check out any of the festival sites and on top of that there were some bad weather forecasts so no one wanted to risk getting wet😢 It's a real shame but oh well, I guess the live was worth it.

♪The Live♪

Seat

I was very lucky to have dedicated friends who made sure I'd get a VIP front-row seat right across from Keiko's spot on the stage [the picture below was taken at the end of the concert when I was already walking outside so it doesn't properly reflect my point of view - I was seated a little more to the right side]. She was pretty much right in front of me during the entire live so of course, I was in heaven. Taking my eyes off her was a real challenge and at times I honestly felt a little bad for the other singers because I didn't really pay that much attention to them whenever Keiko was on stage. Also, this might make me sound like a perv but I was absolutely mesmerised by Keiko's legs. During her main solo parts she would always turn to the side or turn her back to the audience. Not sure why (maybe because so the audience would focus on her singing rather than her gorgeous face? Or she was a little self-conscious? Who knows). Either way, during these parts her legs were on full display and since her skirt was quite short on one side, you could basically get a glimpse of her tiny safety shorts with every tiny move she made 🫣

One tiny complaint I had was that the stage was quite far away from the audience area and they even felt the need to put up a relatively high metal barrier which created a weird sense of distance despite being all the way up in the front. Nevertheless, the concert felt very intimate to me and I think for that reason, I enjoyed it much more than my past Yuki Kajiura live experiences. I also gained a new appreciation for certain songs that I previously didn't care for all that much. I honestly can't stress this enough, experiencing a concert like this in such an intimate manner is vastly superior to watching a DVD/BD/live stream or even attending it in a spot somewhere further away from the stage. Everything feels and sounds completely different. Your entire body is getting caught in this spectacle and you get a full-on adrenaline rush. It's during these moments when I barely notice any flaws or mishaps. I've been made fun of in the past for always writing these overly positive and raving reviews of concerts but I personally don't even notice half of the bad stuff when I am on such a high. Plus, I don't enjoy lingering on the negative stuff which is why you won't see much of that in any of my reports.

Venue

To be fair, it wasn't a particularly good concert hall, at least in my opinion. The venue was a lot smaller than expected and it felt more like a convention hall rather than a proper concert hall. There are much better venues available in Bangkok but they were probably already booked or too expensive. Also, from what I've heard, the concert tickets didn't sell that well so it was probably a good thing that they stuck with this sort of venue. At any rate, it was very conveniently located at a MRT/BTS station so yay for that. The acoustics were decent enough I guess but nothing to write home about. The sound system could have used some improvements though, I don't think the instruments and vocals were very well-balanced throughout most of the concert. But maybe that could be chalked up to my position in the audience. Just a little disclaimer here, I am not very tech-savvy in that regard but on more than one occasion I noticed that the sound was kinda off...Mind you, not to an extent that would have taken away from my overall enjoyment of the concert but enough for me to notice it several times.

Setlist:

the world: Will always prefer Keiko on main but it is what it is, Joelle on main is fine too. It's a good song so it's a treat to hear it live no matter who is leading. The harmonies at the end didn't quite work for me. Was a bit all over the place. I think the sound system was at fault here.

in the land of twilight, under the moon: Not usually one of my faves but I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition.

vanity: What a blessing to hear this live in concert again! My first time was in Taiwan and I don't think I ever recovered from it. Correct me if I am wrong though but they made a big change during the performance regarding Keiko's epic yayayay part. She flawlessly did her solo of course but then when Joelle starting to sing that final chorus, she didn't continue to sing in the background which she would usually do. I found that very unusual. Also checked the bootleg recordings from the live in China and she did the same thing there too. Huh...Since when did they change it? That was a bit of a bummer to be honest since the very final part felt less epic because of it.

My long forgotten cloistered sleep: So, so good!! Huge fan! Joelle is getting better at it too so I am enjoying her version more and more.

I swear: Wow, what a revelation! I did not expect to suddenly fall in love with this song. I am obviously a huge Keiko-stan but due to her using her cutesy voice in this, it's never really appealed to me. It's always been one of those songs that I preferred to skip during re-watches of home video releases because it didn't really do anything for me. This time though, it felt like Keiko was serenading me specifically (a delusion on my part of course but let me have that little fangirl moment XD). Anyway, this is what I meant earlier. All of a sudden, a song has a new meaning to you and it's only because you get to experience it on such a personal level. The lyrics couldn't be more appropriate: "♪I know, I’m in love♪"

fiction: Not my cup of tea so I tend to skip this but Joelle in particular always does a great job with this song. Her voice is a perfect fit. Definitely my favourite performance so far because I was more into it than usual.

I reach for the sun: Love, love, love.

in the garden of sinners: Damn it, this one hurt so much, I literally almost cried. I don't even really know why but I could barely handle it. All I wanted to hear was Wakana together with Keiko and honestly, it was her voice in my mind, Joelle didn't exist for me in those moments. No matter what happens, I will always associate these melodies with Wakana and Keiko. On one hand, this performance made me incredibly sad but on the other hand, it made me feel even more grateful about the upcoming Kalafina Anniversary Live. Just the thought of hearing the three of them together again is bringing tears to my eyes.

ARIA: What a shame. I knew what to expect of course but it still hurt to hear Joelle sing the chorus. Unlike others, I didn't think that Hikaru sounded all that bad so she could have definitely handled the chorus (especially being backed by Keiko). She might not have sounded her best but who cares?! This is HER song so she should be in the lead. Period. I remember someone saying that Yuki wanted to go back to the original key (more of a speculation, as far as I know, it's not actually confirmed) so she gave the chorus to Joelle but Joelle was kinda struggling with it too so ultimately, we didn't really gain anything from having her in the lead. On a side note, I am just so relieved that Keiko and Joelle didn't do the infamous arm gesture that Wakana and Keiko used to do all the time. All of this sounds rather negative but to be honest, I still liked the performance despite being a little disappointed with the vocal arrangement. it's one of my all-time favourite Kala-songs so it's always a pleasure to hear it.

Magia: By now I am used to the FictionJunction cover version of this and it's really quite good. Solid performance. No notes.

Kimi no Gin no Niwa: Again, good stuff but since I don't particularly like the song it was just okay to me.

ring your bell: Ugghhh, probably my least favourite performance of the night. It's such a difficult song to perform and I honestly don't even like most of Kalafina's live versions but this one was hard to get through. Maybe the sound system was to blame a bit because LINO LEIA's microphone did some weird stuff that made her singing sound worse than it probably was. Plus, I honestly don't think she is a very good fit for the song. Hell, not even Wakana is a good fit for the song 90% of the time. For some reason, LINO LEIA kept using her more generic singing voice when instead, she should've opted for a more controlled head voice. Towards the end we heard a more solid delivery but the rest was unfortunately a bit messy.

to the beginning: Okay I guess. It's certainly one of the better Kalafina covers they do at YKL because Joelle and Yuriko add a lot of dimension. And since I have never been a fan of the song to begin with, it's not like I am missing Wakana too much.

Yasashii Yoake: The See-Saw section of the live was so much more fun than I had expected. Actually really surprised how much I enjoyed it since I am not too familiar with Yuki's old work and don't usually listen to any of it. Also, with Keiko not playing a big role in this corner, I thought I wouldn't be into it. But I guess the songs are just really good with catchy melodies so I couldn't help but like them. Also, my proximity to the stage once again helped me to have a bit more appreciation for the music. All three songs were featured at Kaji Fes. but I don't recall them leaving a huge impression on me. Back then I didn't mind them but I didn't get too excited. This time, I was having a great time from the get-go. Love the Joelle/Yuriko duo here. Joelle's voice works super well for this type of song.

Obsession: I remember not being particularly impressed by the Kaji Fes. performance but the Bangkok version was so cool. LINO LEIA and Keiko did a great job. So cool!! After that rather mediocre "ring your bell" performance, it was nice to hear LINO LEIA sing in a more comfortable range.

Senya Ichiya: Starting to love rito's vocals more and more. She's so criminally underused during these lives. Despite being promoted to "regular" singer, she really doesn't get to do much.

the main theme of “L.O.R.D”: One of my all-time faves. Joelle's best song if you ask me. Will never get tired of hearing it. Although I feel like at this point Joelle had already run out of steam a little because the performance didn't quite hit the spot in terms of oomph-factor. I think it's because Joelle had to carry 90% of the show and was thus running on low-heat towards the end. Still had a blast!

absolute configuration: Love having all the girls on stage for these sort of epic battle songs. Gorgeous harmonies.

luminous sword: Same as above. Perfect transition and a lovely continuation of the epicness.

蒼穹のファンファーレ: Typically not one of my favourite songs but yet again, I found myself enjoying it more than I usually would. The heat on stage was contagious so I simply got swept away in the excitement.

En. the image theme of Xenosaga II: Don't remember much of this but it was nice.

En.nowhere: Wow, wow, wow! What an amazing performance. So much more energised than during the Kaji Fes concert. Definitely one of the songs where I very much appreciated my closeness to the stage. I could really feel the heat and had such a blast, especially when Keiko began to really interact with the audience. Almost made me want to stand up but in the end, I remained seated (really not the type to move a lot during a concert). I have to agree with everyone who has already shared their thoughts on the other Asia live performances, this was definitely one of the highlights for Hikaru as far as her vocal delivery was concerned. Her voice was very powerful here.

En.into the world: I love that this has become almost a staple of YKL. It's such a gorgeous song with a beautiful message and I think Joelle as well as Yuriko manage to improve the overall harmonies with their added vocals.

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ- ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

s e r i e s m a s t e r l i s t / c o m p l e t e m a s t e r l i s t

ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ɴ ɪ ɴ ᴇ

The last few months have been crazy. I'm currently stood in the kitchen of Lando's Monaco apartment waiting for him to get home from China after the first two races of the season, both of which have ended in him on the podium giving him a better start to the season than last year.

Since Lando gave me a key to his place I've found myself spending more and more time here. I only really go back to England to see family and friends if Lando's going to be away for a few weeks or if I have to be in the office for whatever reason. I've found myself wanting to be here in Monaco waiting for him when he gets back from races, I don't want him to come back to an empty apartment.

Knowing the state Lando would get himself into last year I like to be here for him whenever he might need me. I've learned over time to read his behaviour and have an idea of what to expect after each session on the sim or in the car. It's crazy to think this time last year I never would have imagined I'd be stood here practically living in Monaco with a boyfriend who means everything to me.

"Hi baby" hearing Lando walk through the door I take one look at him and can tell he's exhausted.

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Good but ready to sleep" Lando says pulling me into his arms. It's so nice to have the familiar feeling of being in his arms back after a long two long weeks without him. The time difference has made it harder to speak to each other but we've made it work "I missed you"

"I missed you too. It's been quiet without you. Why don't you go and chill, I'll make us something to eat"

"Thank you. You're the best baby" as Lando pulls away he kisses the top of my head and I leave him to do what he needs to while I throw together a quick spaghetti carbonara. He's probably too exhausted to eat but at least it's there when he wants it "baby have you seen this new trend of me on TikTok?"

"You need to be more specific Lando. There's a lot of things going around TikTok of you" I say sticking my head in the living room to see what Lando is talking about.

"There's pictures of me and all it says is 'five minutes and a hair tie' they're all good photos of me to be fair" rolling my eyes I lean over the back of the sofa so I can look over Lando's shoulder at the videos he's talking about.

"They're all amateurs. I don't need five minutes or a hair bobble when I've got your hands pulling my hair into a ponytail"

"Fucking hell Lu you can't say stuff like that after two weeks without you"

"I'm just saying babe. Your girlfriend knows what's she doing. I won't be too much longer, this carbonara won't cook itself" standing up I walk back into the kitchen leaving Lando to ponder over what I've said.

"I just couldn't stay away after what you said" feeling Lando behind me within minutes of me leaving him in the living room he steps closer, his hands landing on my hips, pulling me against him.

His lips hover over my neck, teasing but not quite touching. Each time he exhales on it sends shivers down my spine. His hand slowly slides up my back, his fingers grazing my skin, making my whole body tingle, I can't help but let out a low groan.

Lando's grip tightens as he turns me around in his arms, his lips crashing against mine, the tension of the moment releasing all at once cementing just how much I've missed his physical touch over the last two weeks. Our kiss is urgent, we're like starved animals.

The feeling of being back together has awakened something new in him. I tangle my fingers in Lando's curls as my back hits the edge of the kitchen bench, I am physically aching for any kind of touch.

"You drive me insane Lucía" His voice is low as he pulls back, watching my every move his eyes darken with lust.

"So do what you want with me. I'm yours Lando"

As the words leave my lips, Lando's hands slip under his hoodie that I'm wearing, his rough fingertips sending a waves of heat across my skin. My body responds on its own accord, as I find myself turned in Lando's arms and my body bent over onto the kitchen bench.

Every kiss, every touch, the anticipation of Lando's next move makes my body ache with need as I feel my clothes being removed from my body. His lips move down my neck and across my shoulder, while his hands roam along my thighs.

I can't see what Lando is doing but I can tell he's  fumbling with his joggers to get them off and eventually he does. I bite my lip as I feel my underwear being moved to one side giving Lando access to exactly where I want him.

"I need you badly Lucía. You're absolutely perfect" leaning into Lando's body I feel how hard he is against my wetness "you're so wet baby. Just for me. Is this how much you missed me?"

"Lando please" I'm aware how desperate I sound but I just need him to fuck me hard. He continues teasing me, frustrating me even more before finally giving me what I want. What I've been craving.

I don't attempt to hold back my moans. My body reacts to every movement as Lando fills me. It's like he was made for me, we fit together perfectly. His movements are deliberate and slow, I know he's holding back wanting this to last but I need him to let go.

"You feel so good baby"

I want nothing more than to dig my nails into Lando's back but my current position doesn't allow for that. My hands are flat on the bench desperate for something to grab onto and I pull the closest thing to me into my hands which just happens to be a tea towel.

Trying to match Lando's speed with my hips I feel the tension in my body building. I know I won't last much longer, every touch is bringing me closer to the peak of the much needed climax. My back arches as Lando pulls my body up by my hair causing me to scream out his name in pleasure as he thrusts deeper keeping the same rhythm going.

Hearing Lando's moans so close to my ear as he lets himself go is enough to send me over the edge. I've never been one to find it attractive when a man lets out moans of pleasure but there's something about the sounds that come from Lando that are like music to my ears. Letting myself go limp I lean against the kitchen bench supported by Lando as we both regain our composure.

"I love you so much my girl. You're perfect" his voice is soft as he pulls me into his arms placing a soft kiss to the top of my head "you're the one for me" Still basking in the afterglow, there are only three little words that need to come out of my mouth.

"I love you" wrapping my arms around Lando's neck I pull him into my arms. He might be taller than me but I love holding him in my arms.

"I think we might need to order food in. I can't cook but even I know that carbonara looks ruined" as we both get dressed I take one look at the pan on the hob and know there's no fixing it.

"Yeah we're definitely ordering in. I have a question" I say as I start clearing away the ruined food.

"What is it?" Lando asks and I can tell he's confused.

"After all of the months I've been coming to see you at home, why is today the first time you've bent me over the kitchen bench like that?"

"I have no idea but I can tell you now that's not going to be the last time because that was fucking incredible"

"I hoped you'd say that" seeing my phone start ringing next to me I see a FaceTime call from Liv "hold on it's Liv. Hiya!"

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm good. You look amazing by the way! This whole being pregnant thing has suited you so much!" I don't think I've ever seen Liv glow this much before.

"Thank you. Is Lando home?" Liv asks and I see Max join her on the sofa.

"Look at his face! He's just had sex!" Max shouts as Lando comes into view on the camera next to me "that man is always exhausted when he comes home from a long haul flight, there's no way he'd usually still be awake let alone smiling!"

"All I'm saying is that it's been a long two weeks" Lando says with a shrug as he rests his arm around my shoulder.

"My innocent ears!" Liv practically screams at us unable to hold back her laugh "anyway we've got something to show you both, I had to wait until I knew Lando was home to ring you"

"What is it?" I ask confused what Liv needs to show me from her sofa for Lando to have to be here as well. As the camera is flipped I'm met with the sleeping face of a newborn baby. Liv and Max's baby. I let out the most high pitched screech in shock that my best friend actually has her baby in her arms "Oh my god! What the actual fuck! Oh my god"

"You two kept that quiet! Congratulations to you both and congrats on leaving Lu speechless" Lando says looking at the baby on the screen in front of us.

"I can't believe he's here! I'm so happy" feeling the tears roll down my cheeks I can't believe the happiness I feel for Liv and Max.

"Lucía don't cry or you'll set me off!" Liv warns through the phone. I have to get home to see her.

"I'm just so happy Liv" feeling Lando pull me into his arms I try to stop myself crying "does he have a name?"

"Yeah he does, meet your nephew Rafe Bradley Fewtrell" Liv says as she rests baby Rafe on her chest to snuggle him in. All I can say is that she looks content, there's no other way to describe it "he was born early yesterday morning but we wanted to tell you both together when we knew Lando would be home"

"Thank you. I'm pleased you've told us together because now I'm just going to cry at Lando about how perfect he is. I'm going to come home and see you both is that okay?" I ask not wanting to intrude when there's a newborn involved.

"Lucía you're welcome any time. If you'd both been home I would've had you visiting us in hospital or I would've at least invited you over when we got home. You're my sister, I'd let you visit anytime, no invite required" as we end the call I promise to get home in the next few days to see Liv and so Lando can see Max. I've never wanted to get to England so quickly.

"Lando..."

"I'm already on it. We can fly tomorrow afternoon" Lando says cutting me off knowing exactly what I'm going to ask. This is why he's so perfect, he can read me without me having to say anything.

The next day we arrive at Liv's house straight from the airport. I don't want to hang around, I need to see Liv to make sure she's okay and to meet baby Rafe.

"Hiya!" I say walking into the house knowing exactly where I'll find Liv. We have the kind of relationship where we don't have to knock when we get to each other's house, it's practically a home from home for both of us I think she'd be offended if I knocked. "Hi Max. I know I've made this all about Liv and Rafe but I'm happy for you. You'll be a good dad" I say hugging Max as I see him sat on the sofa.

"I appreciate that but I get it. Your friendship with Liv is special" Max stands up to greet Lando and I leave them to it as I sit next to Liv cuddling her.

"I'm so proud of you Liv. I don't think words will ever be enough. You're going to be such a good mum and Rafe is going to be so loved"

"Love you Luc" as Liv rests her head on my shoulder I listen as she tells the story of Rafe's birth and how her world instantly changed the second he was in her arms "you can hold him you know. I can't be bothered to stand up but you're more than welcome to get him out of the crib for a cuddle. I know you're desperate to"

"I am but I'm also here for you. You're my best friend and my priority was talking to you first" standing up I look into the crib where Rafe is swaddled in a blanket. He's truly beautiful, I know everyone says baby's are cute but he genuinely is the cutest baby I've ever seen. Taking him in my arms I feel an instant rush of love. It's like something clicks in my brain and I know I'll love this little boy like he's my own and I'll do anything to protect him.

"It suits you having a baby. I don't think it'll be long until you two have one of your own"

"Maybe one day but we're too selfish right now. We're just enjoying each other and honestly? I don't want to share him" I feel like because of the time Lando and I spend apart, I have to appreciate every second I get with him and selfish as it may be I want them moments to myself for as long as I can.

"Right Lu, I love you baby but it's uncle Lando's turn for a cuddle" Lando says walking into the living room with Max trailing behind. I try to huff and protest as Lando takes Rafe from me not wanting to let him go but it doesn't work.

"Luc will you help me get ready? I fancy going for a walk. I'm sick of being inside after spending all weekend in hospital" agreeing to help Liv we make our way to her bedroom where I French plait her hair and do her make up. She's capable of doing it herself but there's something about having it done for you that makes life easier.

"I'm not going to lie Liv seeing Lando holding Rafe has made me feel so broody"

"Why do you think I said it won't be long until it's you two with a baby. Honestly I thought I loved Max until I saw Rafe in his arms for the first time. That's a whole new level of love that hits like a ton of bricks" listening to Liv talking about Max I don't actually think I could love Lando any more than I do without combusting.

"I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not yet. We've already said we're both not ready and want to wait a few years and I'm happy with that. I'll just enjoy being an auntie first" my relationship with Lando may have taken off quicker than a formula one car in pole position but I'm happy with where we are now. We're in love and we're happy that's all that matters.

esmelucia

Liked by maxfewtrell, livdavies and 43,198 others

esmelucia we take aunite and uncle duties very seriously landonorris. Rafe Bradley Fewtrell you're my favourite human, I will love and protect you always 👶🏻 🩵 

View all 9163 comments

user43 you and Lando would have the cutest family

↪️ landonorris she'd be the biggest milf 🔥

livdavies thank you so much for today, we appreciate you so much! Rafe loves his auntie Lucía and uncle Lando 🤍

↪️ esmelucia we're here for you any time! We love him so much 🥹

user747 omg stop! uncle Lando and auntie Lucía are real!

user547 this is the best news! Imagine baby having Max’s curls!

user638 you two should definitely have a baby so it can be best friends with Rafe!

↪️ esmelucia maybe one day if that's what the universe has planned for us.

• • •

This hasn’t been proofread so there’s probably typos galore (I’ll check tomorrow night) but there’s probably only one part of this story left (😭) however my new story should be up at some point this weekend, either tomorrow or Saturday. Most likely Saturday to be completely honest .

[nerdyhistoryenjoyer]

In the spirit of the new year I'm sharing this letter TE wrote to Lady Astor exactly 91 years ago! (31st of December 1933) It's rather long but I thought it's interesting

From The Letters of TE Lawrence edited by David Garnett; pages 787-789

Yours, MI PIRESS, was the only Christmas greeting that I sent: and likewise this shall be my only conveyance for the New Year. O si sic omnes! Confess that my Christmas has been quieter than yours. As for warmth, my cottage (where I went, and by good fortune, for late one night an airman arrived ‘to spend the holiday with me’) depends for its degree of warmth upon the quantity of firewood its occupant cuts. That other airman and myself cut heaps of logs, and roasted and toasted — ourselves.

My cottage is lovely: but the drought has dried up all the other springs on the heath. So every neighbour draws, by bucket and cask and tub, from mine: and to satisfy their thirsts, I must forgo my bath. So it wasn’t, probably, as clean a Christmas as yours.

On Christmas day it was mild and grey: so we walked for fourteen miles and dinnered off a tinned chicken. The long walk made it taste good.

And talking of Christmas presents, those of last year, the two heating lamps, have been doing great service all this cold spell in my cottage. I cannot light the bath-heater, because of the lack of water. So they alone have combatted the chill and the damp, most successfully. My books are as dry and well-ofF as ever in their poor lives.

One day last week (Wednesday I think it must have been) I came to London and registered my motor-bike for 1934. Also I asked after Sir Herbert Baker, who is going on well, regaining himself: and then a memory of a half-deciphered sentence in your last letter caused me to ring up St. James’ Square. You were reported absent. I felt glad that you had better things to do.

I am sorry about the dark lady, and rather frightened. Where is safety, if I am rumoured to have lost my heart to a lady of sixty, upon once visiting her after lunch to apologise for not lunching.^ A lady whom I had met for the first time at Lympne in the summer? It is rather hard, I think. Probably it would be wholesome for me to lose my heart — if that monstrous piece of machinery is capable of losing itself: for till now it has never cared for anyone, though much for places and things. Indeed I doubt these words of ‘hearts’. People seem to my judgement to lose their heads rather than their hearts. Over the Christmas season two men and four women have sent me fervent messages of love. Love carnal, not love rarefied, you know: and I am* uncomfortable towards six more of the people I meet, therefore. It’s a form of lunacy, I believe, to fancy that all comers are one’s lovers : but what am I to make of it when they write it in black on white? If only one might never come nearer to people than in the street. Miss Garbo sounds a really sympathetic woman! The poor soul. I feel for her.

I would now like to turn to happier things, and be brisk for a last paragraph: but no use. Those two in China have been silent for a month, which means lost letters or uncivil unrest across their line of communications. They were wrong to court martyrdom thus inaccessibly.

As for my boats — do not credit all that you read in the daily papers, or even the weekly one. I ran that first boat two seasons ago, indeed, but only till I saw she worked. Mute inglorious airmen took my place and have carried on since. (Not so mute either !)

I enclose a fragment of some daily paper, sent me by Augustus John. It made me laugh.

Ave atque vale t.e.s.

O’Casey? Shawn? Indeed yes, I have just finished his new play. The second act of The Silver Tassie was my greatest theatre experience, and here is a whole play in that manner. It will play better than it reads.

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

and found - more outtakes

I'm in a fic-posting mood, I just put up two proper actual story things, so here I am rounding it off with some more cut content from "and found"--in this case, the scene wherein Xiangyi actually meets the Word of Honor and Lord Seventh guys. It's a good scene, and I like it a lot, but in the end it kind of slowed the story down in a bad way? Which makes it perfect for a post like this. It has an alternate opening to the section of Chapter 9 where they travel to China, Wen Kexing's pink dress ("it's just like the clothes I wore when I was young, I don't see why people have to be weird about it now"), and Zishu's ducklings.

Past the actual scene-and-a-half here there's a little bit of dialogue for the ducklings which didn't make it in even more than the scene itself, and also another goofy interview thing like there was in the first outtake post.

***

Fang Duobing's weird friends

After all of his nerves, it’s deeply funny to Xiangyi that the first thing he notices about Fang Duobing’s weird friends is the pink dress.

They get to Beijing in the middle of October, a week and a half before their lunch date, and spend most of the first few days alternating between doing every tourist thing that Xiangyi expresses even vague interest in and desperately trying to avoid Fang Duobing’s housekeeper as they have sex in basically every room of the house that isn’t the apartment where she and her family live. The one time she does catch them at it, she just rolls her eyes, but she’s in her sixties and reminds Xiangyi uncomfortably of Yuze’s mom, so it kills the mood for him anyway.

Finally, though, they’re approaching the restaurant where Fang Duobing’s friends are supposed to meet them, and when they’re about a block away Huli Jing starts yelling, which prompts someone in the outdoor seating area to spot them and start waving and swatting their table companion on the shoulder. At first Xiangyi thinks whoever it is decided to come out in full hanfu, but as he gets closer he realizes that it’s not that at all, but an ankle-length pink dress that looks like it came straight from the 1970s, with a deep v-neck and massive bell sleeves. As they approach, the person in the pink dress moves away from their table, so gracefully that they’re practically floating, and says, “Fang Xiaobao, you never visit us–you cut your hair.”

Fang Duobing laughs awkwardly. “It got to be difficult to manage with all the traveling I was doing.”

“What would your mother think–wait, is that a duckling? Do you have a duckling? Since when?”

The other person at the table rolls his eyes. “Lao Wen, that’s not a student, that’s his boyfriend.”

“Wait, is it? How do you know?”

“Because they’re holding hands.”

“But he brought his horrible gangster with him! Speaking of which, Lao Di, it’s wonderful to see you again, thank you for coming!”

Di Feisheng huffs irritably and doesn’t reply, to the man in pink’s apparent delight. Fang Duobing elbows him and murmurs, “You know he only calls you that because he likes you, right?” and gets a mouth twitch and an eye roll in response.

Meanwhile, the seated man is saying, “Well, maybe they’re both dating him, Lao Wen, you could just ask like a normal person.” Then, with a slight turn, “Hello, dog, good to see you again,” as Huli Jing snuffles at his hand.

“I’m not a normal person, I don’t see why I should act like one.”

Xiangyi is trying to figure out whether it would be offensive to start laughing at them when Fang Duobing finally steps forward and says, “Hi, Kexing, it’s good to see you too. How’s the mountain?”

More expansive gesturing, accentuated by the whirl of pink sleeves. “Awful, thank you for asking, Fang Xiaobao, this global warming thing is ridiculous. We’re considering having a walk-in freezer installed and moving our bed into it. So is that a duckling or a boyfriend? And either way, what’s his name?”

#

There's a whirlwind of introductions, in which among other things it's established that Xiangyi is perfectly capable of being two things, thank you, and by the time those are all finished Xiangyi finds himself sitting at the table between Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing's other friend, Zhou Zishu, and feeling slightly lost. He doesn't feel unwelcome, but there's a degree of connection that everyone else has by dint of being so, so old that just isn't available to him, especially given that he doesn't feel like going into the whole reincarnation issue. He almost wishes that he were at the next table over where Zishu’s students are sitting, Mingming from the letter and her large, shy girlfriend A-Qian, but then again, he’s afraid that he doesn’t have much in common with them either, and he likes being able to lean against Di Feisheng’s side a bit. And then two more people show up, other immortal friends of Kexing and Zishu but not his guys, and there are more introductions, and as one of the new guys and Di Feisheng and Zishu are dissolving into an argument about assassination methods the other new guy looks directly at Xiangyi and says, suddenly, “Can we speak privately for a few minutes?”

This is so far from what Xiangyi was expecting that it takes him a moment to reply. “...sure?”

Confused, he lets New Guy–Beiyuan, his name is Beiyuan–lead him away from the others to an unoccupied portion of the seating area, where Beiyuan stares into the air for a moment before saying, “So it’s been a very long time, unsurprisingly, but I recall reading a book when I was young that referenced a Li Xiangyi, the founder of Sigu Sect, who died approximately two hundred years before I was born. Is that you, or is it just a strange coincidence of names?”

“Uh…” Xiangyi shakes himself. “Yes and no? Like, I’m twenty-three, but I’m also him. I was him. He was him, he died, now he’s me, I’m a different guy but we’re the same guy, it’s a whole–”

“--really confusing reincarnation thing?”

“Wait, did you do the same thing?”

“No, mine’s more confusing, I reincarnated as myself. Which is to say, the exact same person that I was before, but different, because now I was me.”

Xiangyi can feel another one of those headaches coming on as he says, “What,” but it’s immediately overtaken by a surge of relief as he follows that with, “Don’t answer that, I don’t need an explanation, does this shit happen a lot?”

Beiyuan grins at him. “No, just occasionally, and it’s different every time, which makes it even more confusing.”

“I hate that.”

“So do I! Except that it let me meet Wu Xi and not get tortured to death and everything, so really it’s fine. You just looked slightly lost in a way that felt familiar, and then I heard the name and it rang a bell, and I thought maybe you’d want someone to talk to who’s dealt with similar bullshit.”

Xiangyi thought about it, nodded, and said, solemnly, “I’m going to text Yuze right now to let him know he’s been bumped to third best friend because of his lack of understanding of reincarnation bullshit.”

“Third best?”

“The dog is first. Obviously.”

“Oh, right, of course.”

“So we should probably get back to the table before someone notices we’re over here and starts–” but before Xiangyi can finish his sentence he freezes, as Beiyuan’s shirt rustles and then a beady-eyed face pokes out from his collar. “–do you have a tiny, adorable ferret in your shirt?”

Beiyuan blinks. “I guess she just woke up, she must like how you smell if she’s coming out in public like this. She’s not a ferret, she’s a sable, my husband breeds them. Her name is Arsenic.”

“Ok. Ok. Ok. Vitally important follow-up question. Can I hold her please.”

Arsenic answers this herself by climbing the rest of the way out of Beiyuan’s shirt and making a short hop onto Xiangyi’s shoulder as Beiyuan says, warily, “Please be careful, she’s venomous.”

“Lao Wen, don’t be ridiculous, I was teaching basics to my juniors when I was fourteen. Just because we’re eight hundred years old doesn’t mean everyone else is children.” Zishu glances at Xiangyi, who snaps back to the conversation with a start. “Right? Am I allowed to ask how old you are?”

They don’t get back to everyone else until several minutes later, when Kexing finally turns around to shout, “Beiyuan, if you’re trying to steal Xiaobao’s duckling at least half of the table is going to be very upset with you.”

--

(and then a bit that was theoretically going to be later in the scene)

--

“–really? But he seems like he’s so young to be teaching.”

Xiangyi blinks. “Twenty-three. Uh, mostly. It’s, it’s complicated. Anyway, I only teach little kids and teenagers, my buddy Yuze’s got most of my classes while we’re here.”

Wen Kexing nods thoughtfully. “All right, true, I’ll concede that I have a slightly skewed view of age. Your accent is interesting, where are you from?”

“Los Angeles.”

“Los–where’s that, A-Xu, I forget that one.”

“The USA?” At Wen Kexing’s still-slightly-blank look, Xiangyi frowns a bit, struggling for further distinctions. “West coast of North America, across the ocean to the east of here.”

***

ducklings

Xiangyi grins. "That's great, though! So how'd you two meet?"

Mingming glances at A-Qian and takes a long sip of iced coffee before saying, "She's attracted to violent women."

A-Qian laughs. "I mean, sort of? We met when I was going to university, she was already studying with shizun, she's been living with them since she was little. Anyway, I'd gone out to lunch so I could work on a paper, it was at an outdoor cafe a lot like this one, and there was this big fuss, and I look up and see the most beautiful woman on Earth completely wrecking a couple of guys who were half a meter taller than she was."

"They were being creepy at a street musician." Mingming makes a face and has another sip of coffee. "You shouldn't talk to girls that way. And they weren't that much bigger than me, come on. Anyway, I finish that up, I turn around to grab my bag that I'd dropped, and there's this--she looked really different at the time."

"You can say, it's fine--this was pre-HRT, and I had a really bad haircut."

"Yeah, and she was just staring at me, and I was already a little bit pissed off, so I said, 'do you have a problem with me?' and she said--"

"Can I buy you lunch?"

"And we've been together for six years now."

***

“Ok, so, we talked about tech, so now we’ve gotta talk about art, what's your favorite artist or piece of art from…I guess past the end of your original human lifespan?”

Fang Duobing: “Oh, I think Godzilla. The character, not just the original movie, although the original movie is very good.” (“You…can’t watch Godzilla movies, though?”) “I can watch Godzilla movies, I just have to be in the right mood for them.” (“...which is?”) “Well, I suppose you or A-Fei would also need to be in the right mood to put up with me intermittently crying for about an hour and a half.”

Di Feisheng: “I like Miike Takashi movies.” (“Ooh, which one's your favorite? Is it Ichi the Killer?”) “Diamonds Are Unbreakable was good.” (long pause, followed by unholy screech from Xiangyi)

Wen Kexing: “Oh! Good question! Taylor Swift. I love Taylor Swift.” (“Don't get him fucking started on Taylor Swift.”) “Hush, A-Xu, she's so cute, and as your insane wife I think I have a right to enjoy the work of someone else's insane wife. Especially ‘Blank Space,’ that's my favorite.” (“I could have made her into an amazing assassin.”) “Right, there's also that, she's got those big soulless eyes, I could have introduced her to Xie Wang.” (Xiangyi: “I’m sorry, you knew someone called the Scorpion Prince?”) “Well, I think legally his name was Zhao Xie’er, but most people addressed him as Xie Wang, yes. Anyway, I would have loved to introduce him to Taylor, I think they’d deserve each other.”

Zhou Zishu: “I like comics.” (“...any specific comics?”) “The Adventures of Tin-Tin.”

Jing Beiyuan: “I enjoyed reading Journey to the West when it was first published.” (“Wait, it wasn't…already out when you were alive?”) “No, that was Ming Dynasty, we predate that. Don Quixote was published not long after, that was also very fun. And I enjoy Doctor Who, the Seventh Doctor especially.”

Wu Xi: *has not put down his copy of The Three-Body Problem* “What was the question?” (“He reads a lot of science fiction. He also really enjoyed that novel Guardian, they made it into a TV show a few years ago?”)

Orlando: “I’ve enjoyed watching the development of romantic comedy as a genre, it's fascinating sometimes how little it's changed from when I was growing up.” (“What was your favorite from then?”) “Twelfth Night. I saw a number of Shakespeare's plays performed, but that one I liked best.” (“Ok, so what do you think holds up best against that from more recent centuries?”) “Oh, there was that one film with Ewan McGregor…right, yes, Down With Love. I enjoyed that one.”

Kenzaki Kazuma: “I haven't passed a normal human lifespan yet, ask me again in two hundred years if the world hasn't ended by then.”

Kurenai Gai: “I’m not sure you realize how long I’ve lived, it's kind of hard to pick one thing.” (“Come on, man, just give it a shot?”)

Hob Gadling: “Impossible to pick, there's been a lot of good art since I was first around. Honestly I just like that there’re cheap paperbacks now, it's so much easier to get a book to read at all.”

Wen Ning: “Oh, I really liked Land of the Dead, the George Romero movie? Train to Busan was also really good. Um, Shaun of the Dead was great…I like zombie movies.” (“Wait, seriously?”) “Well, they're always having a much worse time then I ever did, and a lot of them are very funny.”

Song Lan: [ i read a lot of webnovels. very much enjoyed omniscient reader’s viewpoint. young writers these days are incredibly creative. ]

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Doll P2

Media - The Artful Dodger Character - Jack Dawkins Couple - Jack X Reader Reader - Miss Y/n Y/l/n (Porceline Skin China doll look) Rating - Sweet AF Word Count - 2778

It had been a long day at the hospital as usual, and Jack wanted a meer moment away from it all so he decided to take the cart of bodies from the week over to Tim at the graveyard, he dropped off the bodies and watched Tim and the other grave diggers begin their work. But as Jack took a moment to bask in the setting sun he spotted a sweet sight that made his heart throb,

Y/n, walked the edge of the graveyard, In a long grey dress her curls pulled back with a bow as usual, her black lace parasol protecting her from the sun, a pair of black gloves to protect her hands,

Jack immediately got giddy at the sight of his little doll, He felt like his heart stopped for a moment as his eyes locked onto Y/n. He smiled seeing how adorable she looked, still, she looked like the sweet picture of a china doll in a toy store window. He loved the way she walked along the edge, her parasol causing shadows across her skin. She just looked like such a cute little doll... A little... Beautiful... Doll… Oh... He was definitely smitten for sure.

Y/n spots him and gives Jack a gentle smile and a small wave

Jack felt his heart flutter at the sight of Y/n smiling and waving at him. He gave her a little wave back, hoping his fondness didn't show clearly on his face. He was a grown-ass adult man swooning over a girl and he didn't even care. He was enamoured with her like some lovesick teenager. Jack waited for Y/n to approach him and he couldn't help but watch his Doll walk. Oh, how her dress would sway with each step, as well as the adorable parasol held in her delicate little gloved hands. Her gloves even made her hands look so dainty. Oh, how adorable she was. Jack snapped out of his thoughts as Y/n stopped in front of him and met his gaze with her gorgeous eyes. "Hello Miss Y/L/N, how are you today my dear?"

"Good Afternoon Doctor Dawkins, I'm alright thank you, I wanted to take in the nice sunset on the gravestones, yourself?"

"I'm doing quite well, just dropping off some fresh bodies with Tim," Jack smiled as he spoke, He had to admit, seeing her standing just in front of the graveyard in her grey dress was a stunning sight. "Have you been well since our last meeting?" He asked,

"Somewhat... Less well than I'd like," she admits,

Jack felt his expression immediately drop as he heard Y/n's response. She didn't sound well at all, and he was immediately concerned for his little doll. "What's the matter? Are you feeling ill at all? Is there something bothering you Y/n?" Jack's tone was immediately laced with worry and concern.

"no, no, I'm quite well medically anyway. It's just... Father is all," she said,

Jack sighed as he heard Y/n's explanation if that bastard had done something to his doll. "What has your father done now?" Jack tried sounding calm even though his blood boiled just thinking of Y/n's horrible father.

"he is insisting I put more focus into my duties, of social events and my... Quest for a husband," she sighed, "Would you like to walk with me?"

Jack's expression darkened as Y/n explained the problem. He was infuriated that the bastard was still putting so much pressure on her, especially when it came to finding a husband. Jack sighed and gave Y/n a gentle smile. "Of course." He said softly, unable to refuse the opportunity to spend time with Y/n. "I’d love to take you on a walk in the graveyard,"

She smiled and happily took his arm so the two walked through the graveyard grass between the various stones,

There was something... Special about walking with her like they were a couple. Jack felt that weird feeling in his chest again and he was reminded of his new realisation... He was really facing his feelings for Y/n. Feelings that were... Quite intense.

"Please tell me if the goings on at the hospital doctor Dawkins, I've hardly found the time to come and visit"

"It hasn't been too eventful, to be honest, Y/n, just the usual." He gave her a soft smile as he spoke, his hand gently holding her arm that was linked with his, "A few patients with a simple bad stomach and a few with the flu."

“I wish I could come and visit more often,”

"But I'm afraid your visits are sorely missed, my dear."

"they are? Would Hardly think you thought of me at all,"

"Of course, I think of you, Y/n. Every single day." His tone was slightly serious, "You're such a joy to have a visit from. Your thoughts are like nothing else I've experienced before." The doctor smiled gently, "You are certainly special to me... Very special."

she blushed hard hiding a giggle behind her gloved hand

Jack couldn't help the small smirk that came to his lips as Y/n blushed and let out a soft giggle. He loved hearing her sweet little giggle and seeing her beautiful red blush. Oh she was just so beautiful. He leads her to a nice little spot, hidden a little away from the rest of the graveyard. He hoped she would like it there. A small stone bench with a stone back and roof covered by the plant life overtaking it, He led Y/n to the spot and gestured for her to sit down, "I hope this little hidden spot here is okay for us to sit for a moment."

she smiled folding down her parasol and taking a seat "hmm I often sit here, such a beautiful view of her stones,"

Jack sat down beside Y/n, sitting a bit too close for a professional relationship. However, he didn't really care, he wanted to be close to Y/n. His eyes followed Y/n's to the gravestones and Jack had to admit... The view was stunning. The sight of the gravestones with the beautiful evening sky in the background, the soft breeze through the grass and the gentle sounds of bugs and wildlife and... Sitting next to Y/n. The sight was breathtaking. Almost as breathtaking as her.

"I admit I wanted to come to see you these past few weeks, I have been rather fearful of late"

Jack immediately frowned when Y/n confessed her fear to him. He was instantly concerned, what was causing her such worry? Was it her horrible father? Or something else entirely? Jack gently took her hand in his and gave her a soothing smile, "You're safe here l... What is worrying you? You can tell me."

"I worry that... As Is custom some man will come to my father with offers he cannot refuse and I shall be dragged kicking and screaming to the alter inn a white dress." She explained, "I fear if that were to happen, I worry I may not see you again."

Jack felt his blood boil again when Y/n explained her worries. Not only did the idea of her being forced into marriage make him furious but the though of never seeing her again was like a bullet to his heart. Jack gripped Y/n's hand just a little tighter and had to restrain himself from pulling her into a tight embrace. He was starting to feel very protective of her. "No one... Not even your bastard of a father will ever take you from me."

"I know I shall not be so lucky as to find a man who buys me like a horse who will accept my... Interests, I know when I go to the alter it is the end, of my books, my cards, my grave yard walks." She explained, "I shall lose it all I have no doubt and be ordered to conform, set up house and make babies..." She explained "but it is you I shall miss the most doctor Dawkins, truly. I don't imagine any world a husband of mine would allow us to continue our times alone in the morgue..." She explained

Jack's expression darkened as Y/n explained what would happen to her if she were married off, and once again he felt the fury boiling inside him. But not only just that... No... No, he felt something else as well. Almost... Jealousy. He felt like... He wanted to be the one to have Y/n. Oh, he was starting to have it bad for his doll. "Don't you worry about that?" Jack spoke with a tone laced with a strange possessive edge, "You'll never be taken from me." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I do not know how you shall achieve this..."

Jack shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant as he spoke but his voice continued to hold a possessive tone, He seemed extremely protective of his doll. Almost like a... Boyfriend. "I'm sure I will figure out a way, my little doll. I will find a way to help you..."

she blushed hard at the name 'little doll' her cheeks dusting strawberry-red

Jack noticed Y/n's blush and felt a strange sense of pride at this. Of course such a sweet little thing like her would blush at being called a pretty little doll. Jack gently tilted his head to the side to get a better look at Y/n, as if studying her. His eyes were slightly fixated on Y/n's red cheeks, he adored how red her face was and how it went with her red lips.

her eyes watched his for a few moments before she forced her eyes away and back to the graves but kept her hand in his

She sighed a moment as she looked out "I wonder what my mother would have to say about my father's orders..."

Jack gently followed Y/n's gaze and looked at the gravestones with her, his expression still gentle and slightly loving. He could hear the slight sadness in her voice as she spoke of her mother and he gently squeezed her hand in a slight attempt to comfort her. "Was your mother an understanding woman?" He asked curiously, trying to get an idea of what Y/n's family was like.

"... I ... I don't know," she answered "I never met her,"

Jack's expression darkened again as Y/n responded. She hadn't even known her own mother? The thought hurt him to think of Y/n without an actual mother to raise her. Jack gently brought up his free hand to Y/n's cheek, gently caressing it with a sad look, "Oh... You poor little doll..." He murmured softly, "You should have been raised by a loving mother who would have seen you as perfect just the way you are."

"I hope she would have... But I don't know. She died... Childbirth. Father said it was a miracle I survived it... He tells me both of her, I don't even know what she looked like... Or her name"

Jack's eyes immediately darkened upon hearing the news of Y/n's mother passing in childbirth. He was now very... Suspicious of Y/n's father. Jack gently placed his other hand on Y/n's arm and gently pulled her into a gentle embrace. “Why would he not even tell you her name." This didn't sit right with him.

"I don't know, I suppose in some ways I was looking for her when I was little. Talking to ghosts, walking in the graveyard, playing with tarot and such. I think I just wanted to meet her..." She admits

Jack's expression darkened once again as Y/n spoke. He couldn't believe that her father could just let Y/n grow up without even knowing the name of her mother, her life must have been very lonely. Jack gently petted Y/n's hair gently as she spoke, feeling a protective instinct come over him, "Oh, my little doll... You deserve so much more.."

"you think so?"

Jack nodded as he gently wrapped his arms around Y/n and held her in an almost protective embrace, "Yes I do... You are a lovely little doll who doesn't deserve to be hurt." He gently cupped her head in his hands and gently petted her hair. He hated how much Y/n had been through, how her cruel father hadn't given her the life she deserved.

she blushed once more and let a tear slip down her cheek

Jack's expression immediately softened as he saw the tear slip down Y/n's cheek. His heart twisted at the sight of her crying and his thoughts immediately became filled with the desire to stop her tears. Jack gently cupped Y/n's face in his hands and used his thumb to gently wipe away her tears. "Oh, my little doll, don't cry..." He spoke softly as he held her cheeks.

"I'm sorry... Forgive me just... Thinking of how terribly alone I shall be. Once I am married. Locked up in a house while my husband works, my father will not visit, no mother to visit, and... I won't get to see you..." She whined fighting back her tears

Jack felt his heartbreak just hearing her speak of her life once she was married. No mother, her father won't visit... And Y/n wouldn't see him anymore. All of that loneliness... Jack felt rage boiling inside him. At Y/n's father for treating her so dreadfully, but most of all... For himself. Jack didn't want to lose her... He couldn't stand the idea of never being able to see Y/n again… Jack gently cupped Y/n's face and gently pulled her closer to him. Jack gently wiped away Y/n's tears with his thumb, "No... You shan't be alone... No, no little doll, you won't. I won't allow it.. you are far too precious to spend your life alone and locked up." He gently took one of her gloved hands in his, "I promise you that I will help you... In any way that I can. You won't be alone..."

"I would like to believe that doctor dawkins" she nodded "I... I should go, father will be expecting me, and I wouldn't want word to spread of us alone in public" she said forcing her hands away from his "... But I do not want to go,"

Jack let Y/n's hands go, reluctantly, even though he wanted to pull her right back against himself and hold her close for the rest of the evening. He felt a strange feeling in his chest when she pulled away from him, he didn't want her to leave. He stood up alongside her, his eyes looking into hers for a long moment before he spoke, "I will... See you again, my little doll. Soon."

she nodded as she put up her parasol leaning the wooden handle on her shoulder "I hope so doctor Dawkins"

Jack watched as Y/n opened her parasol and leant it on her shoulder. She looked like a perfect doll. Jack's doll. The sight sent a slight shiver down his spine and he suppressed a strange desire to just grab her and not let her go. He gently took her hand in his and gently leaned down to touch his lips to her gloved knuckles. "Until we meet again my lovely doll."

she blushed at the kiss and his name for her she squeezed his hand and separated them but only for a moment as before she even fully turned away she spoke "doctor Dawkins?"

Jack noticed how Y/n blushed at his gentle kissed to her knuckles and he was internally smiling at the sight of her blushing and flustered expression. The sight of her red cheeks looked so adorable against her fair skin. Hearing her speak out his name made him focus again and he looked at her with his full attention. "Yes my doll?"

"please... Do not be angry with me jack" she whispered She then stood on her tiptoes and pressed a small kiss to his lips, the kiss soft, slow and gentle, she moved her black lace parasol slightly in her hand so the fabric would not conceal them from the sun but conceal Their shared kiss from any potentially prying eyes, She pulled back blushing hard as her emerald eyes watched his chocolate orbs and she blushed "Until we meet again my sweet doctor"

He was immediately smitten with the gentle, slow and soft kiss Y/n gave him, his heart was racing in his chest and Jack could feel the sparks dancing along his skin where Y/n touched him. Jack's eyes stared into Y/n's for a moment before he gave her a small, loving smile, "Until we meet again... My perfect little doll..." Jack stood and watched Y/n leave,

When he saw her turn around and blow him a kiss, he let out a slight chuckle as he raised a hand and pretended to catch the kiss. He was completely besotted with this little doll. He already missed her and couldn't wait to see her again.

[polyhexian]

I don't know where else to go. As an American you spend your whole life talking about leaving, but where do you go?

At least the overstay on my visa has finally expired. Theoretically I can actually go to China again now. Not that I think it would be a particularly good idea for me.

In like 2016 when Trump was first elected it was on my mind. Even with the overstay I could hop in through Thailand or Mongolia with my contact's help. And as dangerous as it would have been for me to go back, I had an in. If I'd gone back I know I would have a bed and a job. Pretty confident I would STILL have that. I don't have that anywhere else. I don't know where I would go, who I would stay with, how I'd find work or afford a living. I already don't work; countries are not exactly motivated to take in an expat with nothing to contribute to, but a leech on services. I've had like three MRIs and two week long hospital stays and I'm past due for a third. Where do you go?

[elderflowerchampagne]

180 (12/1)

Not much to report from this visit except I got briefly locked in one of the fifth floor bathrooms, and for one terrifying moment had a flash-forward of my desiccated corpse being discovered years later like a mummy. Thankfully that did not happen, but if it had I would have went the way I wanted to go.

Goodbye, wonderful nurse. I never noticed before that the bookends in her 1:1 room are Scottish terriers.

I've developed a late-in-the-game tradition with myself of turning the dictionary on Grace's desk to "gratitude" whenever I'm there. It's page 208.

181 (12/22 early)

Jeeeeeeeeeesus Christ. Gonna be honest, folks: I thought we were a goner. Like all of us, I spent the 10 days of the shutdown obsessively refreshing Discord and getting no work done. I guess I should have had more faith.

Still, the shutdown made it real to me in ways it hasn't been all this time. I've never cried in this building, because I've never been anything but happy to be there, and I haven't cried this whole year because as long as they kept extending and jerking us around it wasn't real. But on the last night of the shutdown I sat alone in my apartment in Connecticut and cried. This was always going to be a terribly painful loss, and now that it's real I still can't quite find the words to mourn it.

By the time they let us in I was so overwrought and sad and relieved and sad and incredulous and overjoyed and sad that I just kind of stumbled in hands first making an unholy "huhhhhhhh" sound until I crashed against the bar and ordered an absinthe. And where will I crash after January 11?

I've begun to say my goodbyes to individual spaces, starting with Duncan's bedroom. I don't usually spend an awful lot of time there, so I never noticed before that the fire screen is in the shape of a peacock's tail. Hecate's influence pervades all. I also saw the shaving scene for the first time in years - I wish I'd seen more of it.

A rare Andrea Murillo bar appearance! So many of my all-time best McKittrick moments involve her, and what an absolute joy to have her back in these last few months.

182 (12/22 late)

Because I haven't learned anything in 13 years and it's too late to change now, I came charging out of the building and immediately booked a ticket for the late show. Doubles are not usually my thing, I've only ever done two before. But as we near the end, and especially after the last permit debacle, I feel compelled to wrap myself up in this place.

Aces were let in later than I've ever seen before - I was making my way down to the ballroom only to run into Lady Macduff already on her way back up.

Taylor is a wonderful Lady Macduff. She spends her last few minutes at home on top of the china cabinet rocking back and forth muttering the Hail Mary, which incidentally is how I spent the past two weeks. She also mumbles, "Daddy?" when she's drunk in the lobby.

The Christmas decorations made me pay attention to lighting in ways I never really have. The silhouette of Lady Macduff looking in the mirror against the warm light of her vanity lamp is A++.

I never noticed before that as Hecate prepares to rave you hear a swarm of birds approaching.

Goddamn, McNally Porter! I remember following him in the summer of 2012, and back then he called Agnes a bitch when she took the note back up to Hecate. This time he waved good-bye happily as she stormed off. Guess the years have mellowed him. He was also great fun to watch during the reset, which is not something I'm usually around for. He does a routine with his jacket and the mic stand similar to Mrs Vaudeville's coat act in Life and Trust.

I never noticed before that the horrifying seed pod flowers in the taxidermy case are grown in Hecate's apothecary.

I think the sixth floor is different now - I suspect because of fire marshall stuff. The route is more circuitous and the music plays for longer. The only reason I realized this was I was ready to get into the chair only to have my head thud against the wall. There are also pinpoints of light now, so it looks like the intro to The Twilight Zone.

You know, it's never really occurred to me what a miracle it is this place ever even came to be. I was looking at pictures from the nightclub days and thought, "Oh. The reason they set up a bar under the ballroom balcony during parties is there used to be one there." I think I just kind of figured this place was mythical, has stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more. But obviously, logically, I have always known that not to be the case. And time marches on and thus must we all. We don't have to like it, just have to do it.

183 (1/26) early

This visit gave me Covid. It was worth it anyway. Mask up!

It's amazing and terrifying how precious ordinary things become right before we lose them. So many times this past week I've found myself staring into space thinking, "I want to remember how the strip of marble on the cash register in Paisley Sweets has the lower right corner cracked off. I want to remember how the portrait of the guy in Agnes' room looks like a president but I never figure out who he was. And the framed photo of two Black women on the desk. And the cookies in the Macduff apartment, and the baby Jesus with the bloody face. What if I forget the specific sound my feet made kicking a loose cobble on Gallow Green? All the ipecac. And the wafers in the fifth floor chapel. The thing in the apothecary that looks like a samovar, but why would it be? I have to remember remember remember oh god not ready not ready oh god."

Concurrent with that is the choking terror that I've done it all wrong. Why did I never warm up to Fulton? Why didn't I drink whiskey instead of martinis? (I know why: see Halloween 2016). Why didn't I do full loops instead of pinballing around all the time? Anyway, the conclusion I've come to is I have to put all that to bed. Let it go. I can't spend our last precious few hours clutching at things and talking to the walls and kissing every doorknob goodbye. Here's what it comes down to: This place and these people have been a massive, massive part of my life for a long, long time. I am deeply sad and deeply grateful. It has been a privilege. May we say goodbye with grace and joy.

All that said, this was a beautiful, full visit. Andrea was matron, so I figured it was as good a time as any to say goodbye to the hut. That was where this place first got its hooks into me, in May 2012, second visit, Mia Mountain/Matron saying, "No more tears. This will make you feel better." And goddamn if it didn't.

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but Andrea/Matron and Jenn P/Nurse both hold their fingers in the same position as the Infant of Prague statuette on the Macduff children's dresser.

This visit also marked goodbye to Hecate. I've never followed Gabrielle before but she's great. I used to have a way of remembering which way to run down the stairs after getting the note, because one side would put you with the porter, and the other would get you stuck on the wrong side of Lady Macduff's murder. It's been long enough since I got any Hecate 1:1s that I forgot which way it was, and I did indeed get stuck.

Banquo! One of my major regrets is never becoming a serious devotee of his. Pretty sure the woman literally breathing down my neck during the luggage solo was the one who gave me covid, so thanks, lady. I hadn't gotten the 1:1 in years - definitely not since reopening and probably not for a few years before that. It was nice to be able to say hello and goodbye to that room. I was happy to see they still had Rebecca's negligee. Those were happy days and I will go to my grave insisting that Danvers 100% DID SO slip a piece of ice into my boot that one time in like 2015.

Of COURSE the shot pheasants hanging in the porter's area are a The Birds reference. I also never noticed before that the porter (or someone associated with the hotel) is apparently named Norman, as evidenced on the letterhead by the lockers.

I checked to see if the scary baby doll is still there in its locker - thrilled to death to say it is.

So now here I am. In my childhood bedroom surrounded by lockets and masks and all the trappings of the thing that has been most precious to me for the last 13 years. In 24 hours it will be gone. I'm not feeling particularly articulate tonight, so I'll just reiterate what I said earlier. Thank you for the years, beloved old place. May we say goodbye with grace and gratitude.

-K

[letswrites]

LN- All roads lead to you

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------Last chapter! I made a little text in the end, please read it. Also, I found a song I used to listen to when I was younger and it fits perfectly to the story. I will link it at the end (so there're no spoilers) if you like to listen to it.

Without further ado, enjoy :)

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Chapter 8 (final): Austin... again (feat. Mexico City)

October, 10th, 2022

Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport, Guangzhou, China:

10:38 PM

Since Suzuka, she hasn't heard about Lando. He said he would text her but he didn't. At first, she didn't even notice cause she woke up late and almost lost the start of the race. After that, she went out with Pierre and Yuki, some Yuki friends, and Daniel for a round (or many rounds) of sake. As a result, she ended up with a bad hangover and an early flight to Amsterdam with a stopover in China. And of course with an Australian lad on her hair.

She was sitting next to Daniel with a chai latte in her hands. She had her hoodie on and sunglasses for the hangover "I should have never drank that amount of sake" "Me neither, Dan. Me neither" in that moment, in that cold airport in China with a Starbucks cup burning her fingertips, she remembered she had a phone. She opened Whatsapp and looked into her messages, she scrolled down the screen and stopped at Lando's contact. The last message from him was October, 8th at 6:18 PM: 'I'm already here :)'. Which took her to the question mark expression on her face. 1 day, 17 hours, and 20 minutes and Lando didn't say a word to her. He said he would text on the race day. "Son of a bitch" "Hey, Dan" he hummed "Do you know about Lando?" "What do you mean?" "Don't hear about him since classification day" "Do you talk frequently?" "No, but... What do you know about him?" "Well, the last time I saw him was at Suzuka on race day. He was a little off, you know?" "Off?" "Yes, like his head was in another place". She turned white like a ghost. Just as he was when left the hotel room. Fuck.  "Oh! Do you think he is okay?" "I've no idea. Why?" "He told me he was going to text me, but he didn't" "Did you fall on his web?" "I... No! He was supposed to text me about a resort in Mexico. I told him the other day I will spend a week in Cancun and two in Punta Cana, he already has been there so he told me he was texting me some tips". Daniel looked at her and nodded his head "Did you sleep with Lando, didn't you?" She took off her sunglasses and looked into the Aussie man's eyes "Yes, twice" "Nooo, darling! You weren't supposed to sleep with Lando! He's in his fuckboy era" "Exactly why I slept with him" she wore the sunglasses again "You are not expecting him to be romantic are you?" She kept silent "What have he told you?" "It's not what he said, it's what he did" "What?" "He took me to a winter Sakura festival in Tokyo" "But it's not winter" "exactly, he paid for it" he widened his eyes "You were naive. People like Lando right now would do anything to have sex with their current target" she thought about Abu Dhabi but Daniel didn't have to know about it "Especially him that have a lot of money to spend and a lot of targets to hit" she was about to retort but Daniel probably was right "Should I text him?" "You can do it but then you will be just one more girl who doesn't know how to have a casual relationship based on sex for him". she looked at his contact "Probably yes" and blocked her phone again. She sipped on her chai and laid her head on Daniels's shoulder "I just want to go to drain all the sake from my bloodstream" He chuckled "did you imagine Yuki drank like that?" "Not in a thousand lives" "We should have taken him to Amsterdam with us" Daniel huffed "The kid would go crazy".

//

A week later

October, 23th, 2022

Circuit of The Americas, Austin, Texas.

She watched from distance Lando giggling with a group of giggly girls. "Does he think I am cool?" She asked herself "Because it's been 14 dias since we texted the last time. And he doesn't seem to care". In her opinion, they were just both too proud for it. But apparently, he still had the same habits. When the girls dispersed, she approached the McLaren's driver and touched his right shoulder without saying a word. He turned and a silly smile on his face seemed to fade away. He took a moment to fake another smile "Oh, hi!" "Hi, Lando" "How are you? I... I am sorry for not texting you. I was going to but..." He hoped she would complete his phrase so he wouldn't need to invent an excuse himself but he got nothing but silence "I was busy, you know?" "Really?" she said with an incredulous tone "You were busy? For 2 weeks? So busy you couldn't even send me a voice message?" "Well... Yes!" "Like right now?" "Hum?" "The girls" "what about them?" "You have been busy like you were with them?" He didn't have to say anything, he couldn't hide the truth. At least not from her. "If you wanted to talk to me, why didn't you just text?" "I had the feeling I wouldn't get anything but an empty answer after 5 days of an agonizing wait" "I don't know why are you acting like that. If you came here to be rude with me you should have stayed home" wow. How rude could Lando be when he was defensive? She decided to act like an adult because one of them needed and clearly Lando was not going to be the one "I just wanted to talk, didn't mean to be rude" she said in the most neutral voice tone she could find. He took a few seconds to listen to the words he had said to her and took a deep breath to calm himself. "What do you want to talk about?" "What happened? I mean, you felt distant when you came back to the store in Tokyo. I thought it was just an initial shock and you were tired but you just missed. You always do that when we finally get along. Why?" She knew he was afraid of commitment but she wanted to hear his perspective "I was going to text you in Suzuka but I was not good and I knew I would make you feel upset too, so I just took some time to myself to think" "In which conclusion did you get?" "None really" "none?" "I mean, I know I want you. I just still struggle to make it only the two of us. Then you come and get jealous because I was with some girls and it becomes even more difficult" he was pissed "I just don't like when you flirt with other girls in front of me. It makes me feel insecure" "No worries, next time I'll flirt with them out of your sigh" She took a deep breath, she was opening herself to him, talking about her feelings, and being vulnerable and he was making jokes about it"I was just flirting, what's the matter?" "What's the matter?" she chuckled, almost without patience already "yeah, I was not touching anyone or doing anything but flirt. What's so bad about it? Also, if you feel insecure, that's your problem, not mine" "What do you think a relationship is about?"

"You're aware we are not a couple, right?". She had enough. She asked Lando to talk not to fight but he was crossing all the fine lines that existed between them already "Yeah. I was good with living with that but when you came to my house and said you wanted to be in my life again, or when you asked me to a 'second first date' as you denominated it, and paid for having a damn festival only because I wanted to see the fucking sakura, when we were so intimate..." her voice failed fue the tears she was holding back "I thought you at least wanted to be one" "You know what?" Lando licked his lips and started "you used to make things lighter but now every time we are together it's the same shit about other girls and relationships, and it turns out you just make everything even heavier now!" When he finished the last word, all he could see were wavy eyes and hurt feelings. She turned bet back to him and started to distance herself from him. Both physically and emotionally. Then she stopped to say one more thing to the British man "You are being an asshole. If you want me to walk away, you should say it. It would make things way easier" She said seriously and rawly, and continued to walk. Lando crossed too many lines with her already. He threw his head back and sighed, frustrated "Fuck".

...

Later that day:

"Can you, please, eat something?" "You know I don't like eating before racing," he said, nihilistically "Lando" he had an arm stretched on the table with his head laying on it. Without giving himself the effort to move an inch, he grumbled something that should sound like a "Hum?" "Are you alright, love?" Charlotte asked, sincerely concerned with the younger one "I am just not in the mood for eating" he had been like that since the fight. It didn't make him any better person. To get even worse he couldn't take her out of his mind. "Are you sure?" "Yeah. I'm fine" "I understand you don't want to eat, but you must do it" The blonde lady did not get any answer "If you don't, you can faint in the car and cause a big crash". Not a single word left the Britishman's lips. "I ain't going to let that happen" he sighed, knowing Charlotte was not only right, but wasn't going to let that go till he ate something.

He lifted his head and stretched his arm and spine "You're right! I'll eat, ok?" "Can I trust you?" "Can you start to really trust me? Cause I know you don't really mean when you say you do" "It would be easier if you acted as someone I can really trust" "It would be easier if you really trusted me!" Why none women trust him? "Lando!" "I'll eat" "Good! Thanks". Charlotte was going to enter another topic when his peripheric vision caught her frame. Should he invite her for lunch? Yeah! That's the best way to make amends: eating in a nice restaurant with good company. He stood up in a sudden move "Okay, okay. See you later, Charlie" "I didn't finish talking!" but he wasn't listening anymore.

He walked toward her and touched her right shoulder, lightly. Just like she did with him before. She turned to him, and her smile faded away. Just like he did with her before. He hadn't noticed before, but she was dressed as a cowgirl. Like those girls who go to rodeos. She had a pink glittery tank top, denim shorts, in a pocket the words cowboy pillow laid with humor on her left glute, long black cowboy boots, and a black hat with some pink details on the sides. She looked amazing and he could handle not having her again. "Hey... You look beautiful. I mean you always are but this outfit makes you look..." She cut him "What do you want?" "What are you doing here?" "Going to watch the race. Last year I missed it cause someone made me very upset. But this year I won't let anyone get in my way" he knew what she was talking about "I know that. But... right now. Did you have lunch already?" "Yes, with Dan" "Oh! What about dinner can I take you out to dinner?" "No" "Why not" "I don't want to. And I am going to have dinner with someone already" "You what?!" "What's wrong?" "With who?" "A guy I know" "Is it because of what I told you?" "Why else would it be about?" "You're acting childly" she leaned forward and said close to his face "You know we are not a couple, right?" "Sorry for that" "No, you're right. We are not a couple. So you can flirt with your girls and I can have dinner with this guy". For the first time, he understood how she felt during all the period they'd been together "But..." her phone started to ring: 'Giaro 💛💛'.

"The hot Italian model?!" he thought "And he has two hearts?!" "I should pick this up before I make you feel even heavier. Excuse me". Was he her date? She must be kidding him. He could feel the vendetta running in her veins, this could be the only reason she would do something cheeky as it. "You're not going to win this one," he said to himself while staring at her laughing at the phone call.

"Have you eaten already?" Charlotte asked him out of the blue "Fuck! Don't show up like that!" he placed a hand on his chest "Not yet. I'm going now" "I'll join you just for assurance" "See? You don't trust me!".

...

At night:

He was going crazy alone in that hotel room. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, all dressed up to go out, in his hand was his phone. He waited desperately for a call or text from her. "She's crazy" he mumbled to himself "I am the one looking like crazy" he stopped to shake his leg "Fuck it!" he stood up, grabbed his wallet, and hotel key, and walked out the door. Now he had a free pass from her to flirt with other girls "Why am I still here?" he mumbled to himself inside the elevator. Hoping he would forget all of this when he first stepped into the club.

But nothing really changed. Even with all the alcohol in his bloodstream. He was trying to think about the models around him but his mind went back to her. When a blonde lady "accidentally" touched her fingertips on the back of his hand, he couldn't stop thinking about her hand touching another guy's hand over the table. When a brunette touched his knee softly, all he could think was about her knee touching another man's knee under the table. The worst one was when a freckled redhead brushed her ass on his pelvis and he only imagined the Italian's bodies colliding together in bed. Damn. How could he party with those thoughts in his mind? So he decided to call it a night and went back to the hotel. He lost the count of how many times he thought about calling her. Or send that voice message she wanted him to send so much. Or how many drinks he pushed down his throat thinking about her. He even thought he was hallucinating when he passed by a restaurant near the hotel and saw her. It was her and a very handsome guy.

They were all giggly to each other and without his control, a jealous, furious, and drunk version of himself walked toward the table, grabbed her wrist, pulled her against his chest, ignored all her protests, jumped in the pool, and then kissed her. Kissed her fully, desperately, possesively. His tongue danced on her mouth, and his grip on her waist felt so perfect, that he was shivering. Maybe because of the cold water but mainly because of her body. They had no air anymore but his numb neurons didn't care. She felt another hand pulling her from against Lando and bringing her to the surface. Then the same hand pulled Lando to the surface and punched him in the nose. She took the biggest breath of the whole weekend and separated Giaro from Lando before the British man could punch him back "Stop!". She realized how that scene was looking: two grown-up men punching each other like two high school boys, one of them bleeding in the pool of a fancy and expensive grilling restaurant, and a girl who was almost crying in between them. She looked around: everyone looked catatonic.

"Why did I do this, stupid?" he asked himself, now he's going to kill me "Lando! What the fuck?" He tried to touch her wrist but she splashed some water on him and went out of that pool "Ti chiamo dopo, Giaro" "Vuoi un aiuto, bella?" "No, lasciami stare. Si? E anche lui, per favore" "Okay" the Italian man nodded, without agreeing but he would respect her decision. Lando also got off the pool to chase her. "E io mi occupo di tutto questo disordine. Solo" Giaro complained to himself.

...

"Hey!" Lando shouted "Please, wait!" She stopped, impatient "So. Explain yourself, idiot! What the fuck do you have on your mind?" "Did you see what your guy did to me?" she couldn't believe he was victimizing himself. She looked into his eyes "You deserved! You deserved even more! What's wrong with you?! What was your plan? Throw me in a pool and then kill both of us asphyxiated? So we would die together and kiss for eternity" "I don't know why I've done this, sorry!" "I'm tired of it! You keep on this 'want me, don't want me' game. 'Want to be with me and 7 more girls at a time, want to be with me only'. You tell me we are not a couple, I go out with a friend I've known since I was 7, you freak out and now your nose is bleeding, Giaro's fist is hurt and my dress is wet!" "I already apologized!" "You are such a confusing person that you are turning me into a confusing person as well! Do you know that?" A friend. They are friends. "I just don't want you to be with other guys" he said, ashamed of himself the same way she did before when they first fought "But you can be with everyone you want to?" "Yes. I know that's fucked up but... it's how I truly feel" "Fuck it! I don't want to be next to you right now. Or ever again" She turned her back to leave, but he held her arm " Wait!" "No!" she retreated with her arm "I'd enough of you already. Please, don't look out for me anymore", then she walked away from him.

Lando ended the night drunk, alone, with blood on his new white shirt and with water on his trainers. The opposite of what he thought it would be. He stared at his phone, her name with a pink heart in front of it. He never had the opportunity to show her. Or to confirm if she liked pink. He scrolled to his contacts and called Max Fewtrell "I think I fucked up everything this time".

//

October, 31st, 2022

Mexico City, Mexico

Lando thought she was going to be in the race but he was mistaken, cause when Sunday came and she did not appear there. She posted a picture from the airplane and wrote right above Mexico City. It turns out she was there for other business.

The day before race, Lando was following Daniel around the hotel "Daniel, you must tell me" "Bro, I don't know what you are talking about" "You do know. I know she's in Mexico, she posted on her social media" "Why don't you simply ask her?" "She wouldn't pick up the phone, or text back. And even if she does, she wouldn't tell me where she is" "So I shouldn't tell you" "Daniel" he stopped in front of the Aussie man, forcing him to stop walking, and held his shoulders "I am trying to fix the shit I've done. Can you, please, help me?" "You should have texted her when you told you would" "I know that but I decided to change, to fix everything. But I need you to tell me where she is" Daniel could see the despair in Lando's eyes. He could see he was up to do anything to find her, with or without Daniel's help. He huffed "She's at Costa Esmeralda" "Where?!" "Is in Veracruz" Lando grabbed his phone and started to search "La Guadalupe beach, you'll find her there" "4 hours?! Shit. Thanks, Dan" Daniel held his wrist "Don't do more damage than you already have done" "It's what I intend to"

...

October , 31st, 2022

Playa La Guadalupe, Costa Esmeralda, Veracruz, Mexico

She was standing looking at the ocean, she knew he was coming, Daniel warned her. And when the time came, when a hand found its way to her left shoulder, she knew it was him. She turned around and protected her eyes from the Sun with her forearm"You really can't do what people tell you to, can you?". He remembered the phone call with Max in Austin:

' "Max?" "It's pretty early here in the UK just for you to know and maybe consider calling another time. Just maybe" "I think I really fucked up everything this time" Max could feel the sadness in his voice "Have you been crying?" "Yes" his voice failed "Yes, I did" "What happened?" "I told her I would text but I didn't, today we met in Austin, and she came to talk to me, I said very rude things, such as "You make my life even heavier than already is" and she went out with a guy to make me jealous but they were just friends, I went out, got drunk, jumped in a restaurant pool with her, almost killed her drowned, her friend punched my nose and she said she never wants to see me again" Max definitely needed more information about the chaotic 24 hours Lando had in Austin but he didn't need to hear anything more not even a syllable for getting into the conclusion he already has gotten back in last year's Austin: they were no good to each other "Lando..." he took a deep breath " What do you want me to say?" "What do I do now?" "You leave her alone" "What?!" "You stop calling, texting, chasing her. You stop appearing in her house and you stop following and stalking her on social media. That's what you do now" "Why should I do that if I love her?" it was the first time he admitted that out loud "You do even if you love her, you guys can only hurt each other. You know that, I know that, and she knows that too". How could Max tell him something like that? He got angry with his roommate "You are a very shit adviser. Good night, Max" and hung up on the British lad's face. Max already expected that behavior from Lando. He also knew he would realize it was the right thing to do, sooner or later.'

Lando's head went back to the present "No, I can't" "What now, Lando? What rude things will you tell me now?" "You were right. I've been acting confusingly. I'm sorry, I'll do better from now. I'll be better for you" "No, you won't. We both know you won't" his eyes started to get wavy "Don't do this" She placed her hand on his face "We both will go crazy like that" he placed his hand over hers "It must have another way. I'll..." he tried to think but his mind was in shortcircuit "...stop going out, I won't..." Everything was a blank space in the moment he realized the reality "...even look to other girls, I'll do everything you tell me to do, be only yours..." "Will you change yourself entirely just to fit in my standards?" then he heard himself, she was right. She shouldn't diminish her standards for him, she didn't deserve any less than what she demanded from him since they first met. And he shouldn't change himself to be with her. They were simply incompatible "Please..." he whispered "We need to" she smiled with her lips "But don't worry. If we're meant to be, all roads will lead me to you" he smiled, a tear rolling down his face "By now we must follow different paths, yes?" He dried the tears that rolled down and swallowed the rest of them "I believe it's the best" she smiled "Come here" She opened her arms for a hug and he pulled her against his bare chest. He held her tightly, he breathed all of her in. Intoxicating himself for the last time. When he let her go, she held his hand "Good luck in Brazil" and started to walk away. He held her hand till the last finger slipped away "Thanks" "Bye, Lando" she waved "Bye bye" he waved back and watched her fade away to the shore.

He took a deep breath and switched his gaze to the ocean, he saw the waves come and go but never die. Maybe they were waves and maybe now that he let her go he could be a better person, a better version of himself, and so does she. Till fate join them together again, if it was meant to be.

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Taglist:

@cmleitora

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First of all, the song I mentioned ;)

In second place, I want to show you guys who Giaro is. I know him from Martin Garrix's music video lions in the wild but I don't know if Lando and him actually know each other in real life. I just think he is handsome enough to cause jealousy and he's Italian, so it fitted perfectly.

So, I know most of you expected a happy ending for them. I confess it was the plan when I first started to write this story but it happens that during the process I fell in love with someone with whom I had a complicated relationship, quite very similar to the relationship I wrote for them. Very ironic, no? I will never write about a toxic relationship again lol But the thing here is: I suffered so much till the moment it was decided to call it an end and when I started to work again on ARLTY I couldn't simply put a happy ending to it cause I couldn't let other people read it and maybe have the empty hope that everything was going to be alright at the end (like I did for so long). If you are in a situation like that or know someone who is in a situation like that DO NOT postpone something that is too broken and bruised already. You can't be happy if you have to change yourself or your standards completely to be with someone. So if you all take a time to reflect you'll see that the end was happy. For both, they were free to pursue relationships that would make them truly happy and meet their needs.

It was so good for me to write this one. It's so personal to me (and also has some parts in which I literally narrated my life) that it healed me and it freed me during the process. I can only thank everyone for the support and, of course, please don't send me death threats because of the end lmao

Also, I want to reinforce that I really like Lando, I'm a big fan of him, and this is only fiction and I really hope he's not like this in real life haha

I look forward to writing more fics, maybe about Charles now 🤭 what do you think?

Anyway, thanks for your company till the end and I really hope you liked the story and learned something with it. Lemme know!

A warm hug,

Lets 💜

[pluckyredhead]

just because you just answered an ask about kon stories i am still made at the superboy man of tomorrow for setting up such an interesting arc with kon feeling superfluous to the superfamily, and clark not even noticing for a while that he’s left the planet, for such a supremely average comic and kon hand waving clark’s single attempt at an apology like it didn’t matter.

I one hundred percent agree with you, but I also feel like...it's almost not the Superboy mini's fault it was mid, because...what the hell kind of character development are we going to get out of any miniseries? Especially in the 2020s, where all miniseries are like, Issue 1: Introduce the concept; Issues 2-5: Nonstop action!; Issue 6: I guess we have to wrap things up now? There's no room for any kind of character or relationship growth because contemporary comic book storytelling simply isn't structured that way.

I did a deep dive into 80s/90s Superman comics a few months ago, and one thing that really struck me was how much time they spent on character. There were a billion subplots and every supporting character got one. Every issue told me not just what was going on for both Superman and Clark Kent, but what was going on with Lois, Jimmy, Ma and Pa, Perry, Perry's wife, Perry's terrible son Jerry, Cat Grant, Pete Ross and Lana Lang, Jose Delgado (MISS U JOSE, COME BACK TO ME), Professor Hamilton, Lex, and usually a handful of other antagonists. Pete and Lana didn't even live in Metropolis or Smallville or hang out with any of the other main characters, and the comics were still constantly like "Better check in on Pete and Lana!" And it never felt overfull, because the comics were structured to keep the central plot moving forward while always juggling multiple narrative balls, so that when, for example, Superman finished saving Cat from Morgan Edge and Intergang, the latest Jimmy plotline would be ready to take center stage.

I'm mostly enjoying the current era of Superbooks because I like seeing all my blorbos, but I'm frustrated too, because they finally have the whole Superfamily all hanging out all the time and they haven't actually done anything with it but let them all strike a dramatic pose on a splash page once per issue. (And, I guess, hint vaguely that various characters feel insecure - Kon, Jon, Kara, Karen - but never ever ever let those hints become satisfying stories.) Between Superman and Action Comics (especially when the latter was still an anthology book), they absolutely have the page count to tell a story about whatever villain Clark is currently fighting...and also Lois's struggles to lead up the Planet while Perry is in the hospital, and also Jon adjusting to not being the baby anymore in the face of his own lost childhood, and also Kon coming to terms with the Lex side of his DNA, and also Kara getting to do literally anything interesting, and also Kenan adjusting to living in America (...is he???), and so on. They're just letting a limited story bloat to fill the page count, instead of adding more story.

I mean. I cannot imagine picking up a Superman book in 1989 and not knowing what a character's job was or where they lived. Where the fuck do Kara or Kenan live? Is Jon living at home? How did the Kents fit two extra children in their apartment, then? What the hell does Jon do all day if he gave up on school after 20 minutes? If Kon is still in high school as that one terrible backup story implied, why is it not a problem for him to go into space for weeks or spend every day in Metropolis? Is Kenan commuting from China? Do Kara and Natasha have jobs? WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY ARE NOT SPLASH PAGE POSING???

Anyway. All that was a little beside the point of what you asked, but I think my point was: we're never going to get anything satisfying with Kon (or Jon, or Kara, or anyone else) until a) he gets to take up space in an ongoing that b) is concerned with something more than fighting the latest villain or Shocking Revelations.

[spiritsglade]

hello hello!!!! i'm so fascinated omg, i and p for suicide watch perchance?

[wip wednesday]

suicide watch is very rude. this fic fucking bit me. and then it did the gila monster thing of continuing to chew into my flesh instead of letting go. i am truly not on speaking terms with it right now.

okay okay. i think the first thing to be understood here is that this thing is a monster. i have the word count estimate tentatively at 75k but honestly i have no idea how accurate that is at this point and i'm scared to find out. like here's what we're trying to cover:

an adaptation of the all-caste arc from rhato v1, which by itself is already something that shows up across like... over 15 issues of that run

meetings with mia and dick that are loosely (very very loosely--jason's motivations, the circumstances of the meetings, what they talk about, etc. are all very different) inspired by seeing red and brothers in blood respectively

jason's emotional arc with regard to the suicidal ideation. steph/tim/robin in general, talia, and also bruce are very very relevant to this and why he's like that despite never making an appearance in the fic

essence also has her own issues. that i also want to deal with and address. jason may be the main character but i'm also forcing her to undergo growth

gold lazarus pit propaganda and fanony side effects (not pit rage) because i let myself indulge

this is in some ways a case fic-ish thing (essence and jason do have a thing they're trying to do) but it is also a lot of the way character drama and maybe some sort of weird exes-to-platonically-codependent-...friends(?) thing. it becomes a sickfic for like a chapter. jason alone goes through at least four distinct significant shifts/phases in his character development. at various points they end up in gotham, colorado, star city, nyc, the himalayas, guilin china, and some desert in the middle of fucking nowhere.

the outline is... done, in some sense of the word. i know the order of events, but with something of this scope i honestly don't know how long i should spend actually plotting out when they have individual conversations vs. just writing those conversations lol. we do have the timeline sorted out in nearly it's entirety!

sidenote i do need to read several comics to make sure i know what happened during this time canonically before i start picking and choosing how much i want to keep. i know i can just make shit up but i like knowing what i'm working off of before i start disregarding it. so there's that to worry about, also.

i have 10k words written. i need to go back and change some of these 10k because i'm not happy with them anymore. all 10k is literally just exposition and set-up. haha. i'm not entirely sure about chapter cuts yet but that 10k does sort of break itself into two chapters. ish.

this fic is hard because it is absolutely going to be the longest thing i've ever written and i am also trying to pre-plan it. lies of omission, for example, is gonna end up at like 65k probably, so similar in size, theoretically, but lies of omission is flexible in a way that suicide watch cannot be while i'm trying to achieve what i want to achieve and that makes this difficult!! every day i get a little closer to making it a series of interconnected oneshots instead but considering that i already have like 3 ongoing series of interconnected oneshots going already i am simply not allowing myself to do that.

but we do have a plan and i do have an unerring belief in my ability to do things as long as i put my mind to it. i will make this fic happen. i swear.

can you believe this fucking bitch started as a 1.3k oneshot for jason todd week (for the substitute prompt lifeline). i could have just posted essence showing up at his shitty ass safehouse as its own little thing and been done with it but noooooo. i get to experience horrors of trying to organize a massive project for 10 thousands years.

anyway here's a lil snippet :]

"The memory spheres came to me two days ago," Essence says. "I started looking for you soon after." "It took you two days?" "Gotham is a large city, and you've been quiet." She pauses for a moment, then, voice softening. "It's not as easy to sense you as it used to be."

[tilbageidanmark]

MOVIES I WATCHED THIS WEEK #212:

3 WITH NEW CRUSH ZHOU DONGYU:

🍿 THE BREAKING ICE, my 3rd wistful gem by Singaporean Anthony Chen, and the coldest film of the year. A sweet, melancholic love triangle a-la-'Jules and Jim', but taking place in a northern Chinese provincial town, right on the border to North Korea. It's a place so frozen that the people are shut down emotionally and can't express themselves with words either. Young, beautiful Zhou Dongyu is a lonely tour guide, and like her, each of the two boys are depressed to the point of near-suicide. We don't know what ails them so profoundly, and until the end of the adventurous, drunk weekend they spontaneously decided to spend together, we are not sure if they'll be able to discover how to break out of their icy states. 9/10. (Screenshot Above).

I picked this one out of David Ehrlich's annual video countdown, THE 25 BEST FILMS OF 2024. So far I've only seen 7 movies from his list, but I had planned on watching 8 more from there. We'll see...

🍿 "We would have had everything in the end.... Just not each other..."

US AND THEM (2018) took place in another northern town where the temperatures are well below freezing point. It's a standard 'Harry Meets Sally'-type rom-com, that lasts about 12 years, but one that doesn't end up happy. A sentimental tear-jerker about a young couple that doesn't make it, as much as you hope they will. They are struggling poor, they keep meeting for Chinese New Year as they take the train to go back to their village, and it's so sad, and she keeps crying, and she's so gorgeous. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. 7/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿 In BETTER DAYS (2019) the 27-yo Zhou Dongyu plays a tiny teenager who's severely bullied as she studies hard for the arduous university exam. A good-looking street thug protects her from the bullying and the two get entangled in a heap of trouble. It was major catnip for Young Adult melodrama fans, and became a huge success in China, as both actors are super popular there. It was also extremely sentimental, and heart-breaking tragic. A total cry-fest with everybody shedding tears most of their screen time. I'm sorry, but I loved it too (for my own personal reasons).

🍿

"I can't be happy sober".

THE OUTRUN, (2023), a Scottish drama and my 12th film with phenomenal actress and gorgeous woman Saoirse Ronan. A tour de force performance about a tortured alcoholic on her journey from addiction to recovery, while isolated on the northern, harsh and wind-swept islands of Orkney. 8/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

HORATIO'S DRIVE: AMERICA'S FIRST ROAD TRIP (2003) is one of Ken Burns 'smaller' epics, but one which is no less exhilarating. It tells of an ex-dentist who entered an impulsive $50 bet in 1903 that he will drive from San Francisco to New York City in a 'horseless carriage', one of them newfangled "Automobiles". He made the trip in 63 days, thus becoming the first person to complete a coast-to-coast Road Trip. Exactly 100 years after the first Lewis & Clark expedition, his audacious journey too was full of unimaginable obstacles.

With the soothing voices of narrators Keith David and Tom Hanks, and with a cameo of my old favorite writer William Least Heat-Moon! A fantastic story I never heard before! 9/10.

🍿

MY LAST 2 FROM AUSTRALIAN ADAM ELLIOT:

🍿 "His pension barely paid for his wheelchair batteries..."

MEMOIR OF A SNAIL, his newest tragic stop-motion animation, very much in his usual fatalistic vain, telling improbable, fantastical stories about damaged, unlucky people. This time, it's the orphaned twins who get separated after their parents die, and all the misfortunes and calamities that befall them. There's abuse, alcoholism, cleft lip, hoarding, swinging, fat fetishism, pyromania, a masturbating judge, Alzheimer's and dozen afflictions like these. Sarah Snook is the voice of Grace Pudel. Elliot has a voice like no other filmmaker. 8/10.

🍿 HUMAN BEHAVIOURAL CASE STUDIES. SERIES ONE (1996) was his very first, very short animated attempt at introducing weird characters to the world.

🍿

SLEUTH, Joseph L. Mankiewicz final film, a mystery caper from 1972, and his second-highest score on Letterboxd (after 'All about eve'). It's an old-fashioned, theatrical, Agatha Christie-type two-hander with clever Laurence Olivier and even cleverer Michael Caine. Olivier is an older crime fiction author, and the younger Caine is his wife's lover, and they battle it out to a cat-and-mouse game of thrills and deceit. It opens outside an English manor with a maze, as fancy as the one in 'The Shining'. There's themes of humiliation, class conflict and impotence.

🍿

ROY SCHEIDER X 2:

🍿 First watch: Paul Schrader's highly acclaimed Japanese biopic MISHIMA: A LIFE IN FOUR CHAPTERS. The life and feverish dramas of boundary-breaking and narcissist author, self-loathing homosexual, sado-masochist bad boy and right wing nationalist, who committed a controversial public Sepukku in 1971. Life as fiction.

Paul Schrader still maintains an active Letterboxd account. His latest entry re-tells a forgotten David Lynch anecdote.

🍿 SMILES (1964) was John G. Avildsen's first film, as well as Roy Scheider's first role. NYU student Marty Scorcese worked as an assistant. I found it on the YouTube channel that Avildsen maintained until he died.

🍿

MY FIRST 2 BY NOBUHIKO OBAYASHI:

🍿 THE ROCKING HORSEMEN (1992) is the movie with his highest score (Even more than 'Hausu'). A wholesome coming-of-age story about 4 high-school friends who form a Rock and roll band in a small Japanese town in 1965, after hearing 'Pipeline' by 'The Ventures'. As nostalgic as 'That thing you do', but innocent all the way through. I was surprised at how effortlessly charming it was.

🍿 AN EATER (1963) starts as a grotesque, wordless meditation about food. A waitress observes her customers munch, slurp and chew. But then she faints, and the macabre story turns into a disgusting body horror, as the restaurant chef turns into a surgeon and he operates on her while she's still conscious. He pulls her organs for the patrons to continue eating...

🍿

FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT is a 2024 German documentary about "The Day The Clown Cried", Jerry Lewis' unthinkable 'Holocaust Clown' film. I saw the 39 min. version of the unfinished THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED and I was not unhappy that it was never finished (I hate most films about the holocaust, and especially comedies). This standard documentary is long and exhaustive, but the Wikipedia article about it tells the story of its plagued production and mysterious disappearance better.

🍿

Another meta-holocaust study, Jesse Eisenberg's highly-acclaimed A REAL PAIN, filled with Chopin piano score from beginning to end. It's about two mismatched Jewish cousins who are visiting their grandma's Poland, and who keep clashing about the difference in the way they each express their pains and buried burdens. Eisenberg's nervous cringiness is never too pleasant to watch, but the main focus here is on Kieran Culkin. He plays an anxious, (maybe-bipolar) and charming drifter, with unfiltered mood swings, and overwhelming depression, a person who feels things deeply but who can't control his social interactions. In the end, I found the relationship slight and not exceptionally illuminating.

🍿

LEBANESE RADICAL FILMMAKER HEINY SROUR X 2:

🍿 THE HOUR OF LIBERATION HAS ARRIVED (1974) was an anti-colonialist documentary about the struggle of the oppressed people of Oman against the cruel colonialist power of the British Empire and their appointed, corrupt sheiks. Strong feminist liberation movement with communist/Leninist philosophy. Primitive people left for dead, taking arms for the first time for power, for water, food, roads, medicine and education. Down with imperialism! Long live the revolution!

🍿 "The rich are fed on doves and chicken - and we are sick of fava beans. Even fava beans are sick of us".

THE SINGING SHEIK was a portrait of an Egyptian blind singer, who was famous for his songs of resistance and revolution, for which he was constantly prosecuted and imprisoned for. If you like traditional Arabic music.[*Female Director*]

🍿

I wish I had stumbled upon campy THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW in 1975 as a confused bisexual teen instead. I'm sure that the transgressive parody, kitschy hedonism and joyous cross-dressing would have make so much more sense then. As it is, Tim Curry in torn tights and Susan Sarandon in white lingerie were indeed hot. The rest of the weirdos and the freaks kind of flew over my head. "Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul".

🍿

PETER FOLDÉS X 2:

🍿 He was a Hungarian-British artist. His Oscar-nominated LA FAIM (HUNGER) (1974) was one of the very first computer-animated films to be developed, by NFB of Canada. A grotesque nightmare of an office worker who descends into gluttony and greed, becoming obese in the process. Very unsettling.

🍿 A SHORT VISION was a merciless poem about the complete annihilation of the world, through a nuclear bomb. It was animated to look like Picasso's Guernica, and offered zero consolation. Strangely, it was shown on The Ed Sullivan show in 1956, twice!

🍿

And so, I "had to" watch the Hungarian RUBEN BRANDT, COLLECTOR again, for the 3rd time in a week! It's that good. It's interesting that no romance is developed between Mimi the art thief and Kowalski the detective, or Brandt the art-shrink. Recommended again. ♻️.

🍿

"Bunjs of Shteel"

I had the impression that I liked Nancy Meyers female-gazed screwball rom-coms in general, but actually it's only 'The Intern' which I've seen half a dozen times, and to a lesser degree, 'The Parent Trap'. The others are just Nora Ephron-lite, glossy upper-middle-class, Wealth-porn fantasies. Case in Point, WHAT WOMEN WANT. Creepy, pre-racist, male chauvinist pig Mel Gibson is no Don Draper, until a freak supernatural accident turns him into a sexual superman. The gender rolls on display here are very, very outdated. Bonus points for Marisa Tomei as the sexy barista, and Judy Greer as the invisible 'Girl in glasses'. First re-watch in 25 years♻️. 2/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

THIS WEEK'S SHORTS:

🍿 Another first watch: Disney's very first Silly Symphony THE SKELETON DANCE from 1929. Animated by Ub Iwerks. Spooky!

🍿 KRAKATOA won the 3rd "Academy Award for Best Short Subject" in 1933. It's a well-done documentary about a volcano eruption "between Java and Sumatra". Only a fragment remained.

🍿 CITY OF WAX won the same award the following year. Similarly, it was an excellent educational documentary, about "BEES!", using what must have been then a revolutionary tech of extreme close-up.

🍿 AN OPTICAL POEM (1938), an abstract animation done with two dimensional shapes, visualizes Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2. Created by artist Oskar Fischinger who was also commissioned to do the Bach's Toccata section in Fantasia.

🍿 BEDTIME FOR SNIFFLES, a sweet, classic Chuck Jones cartoon from 1940, about a mouse who tries to stay awake on Christmas night. Perpetuating the Santa Clause myth.

🍿 I watched THE THINKING MOLECULES OF TITAN (2014) because it was written by Patrick Wang. It is based on an unfinished science-fiction story that Roger Ebert started writing on his death-bed. But it was terrible, poorly-staged and poorly-acted. 1/10.

🍿

(ALL MY FILM REVIEWS - HERE).

[dgoldenblossom]

I’m happy to bring my book Reigna on tumblr. Here is the full prologue of the book and you can take a look at the rest of the chapters published on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/1484753998-reigna-prologue

Prologue

Reigna

I grew up in Los Angeles, and at the time my family was financially unstable. With a baby on the way, they did everything they could to get on their feet before I came but I came at such an unexpected time that they were completely unprepared. My mom found out she was pregnant almost 7 months into her pregnancy because she has a retroverted uterus.

Two years later, my father had plans of starting a small business that changed our lives for the better. But making this business successful wasn't easy with all the loans they were indebted with. Student loans being the main one. My father and his best friend, who was also his partner in business, were trying their best to run this business right, but there was always something that came up.

At some point they could no longer pay their mortgage, so my mother decided to go back to China where she was from. She claimed that America was a crazy country, and she was tired of the ups and downs with her and my father. She moved back to China with me when I was 8 years old, where I finally got to meet my grandmother.

My father stayed.

They were still married even though they were far from each other, their love never died and I always looked up to their love. With us away. Everything started getting better. My father could finally concentrate on running the company better and taking care of us from a distance.

Life was way easier in china. I had gotten the chance to know about my culture and where my mother and grandparents were from, but I felt like I didn't belong— America kept calling my soul. I felt like that's where my heart belonged, and where I wanted to live my life.

So I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Los Angeles, and that I wanted to finish my education there. My mom was against it at first, mind you I was only 16 at the time, but I promised her that I would work hard from the start. And to prove it, I worked in china and till I had enough money to pay for the plane ticket to go back to my homeland. My parents realized that I was really serious, a plane ticket from China to America is very expensive. I worked my behind off and that was my mind set from that time on.

I mostly wanted to see my best friend; it had been 4 years since I saw her, and I felt empty without her. She came to visit with her father once in a while, but that wasn't enough, I wanted to see her more often than that. And she always FaceTimed me or called me talking all about the Los Angeles life, it sounded more like the life I wanted to live.

I looked so different from everybody in China and felt so frustrated. I'm Chinese, black, and West Indian born in America. I just thought it wasn't right. I had to go back.

I remember when I set my feet at LAX airport, it felt like … home. The air, the atmosphere, I was finally home.

~~~

Dave

My father is Italian and my mother is black. Unfortunately my father grew his business of drugs, but he always taught me to get my education and kept me away from that life. He decided before I was born to change his life around. He was aware of how it affected him growing up and he didn’t want the same to happen to me. So I was sheltered and encouraged to go to school. But the worst still managed to happen.

I can still remember that day vividly. I was 19 leaving basketball practice. I would usually chill with my dad once or twice a week at work. I liked popping up on him and we’d spend our time with him telling me stories of his past in Italy. He was hilarious so we spent a lot of that time laughing. Even the days that were a little more serious where I was like his intern and he’d teach me how to run our family business, we still cracked jokes. The atmosphere was always light when we were together.

I remember parking my car in the underground parking lot and taking the elevator to the top floor where his office was located. As I was going up I heard a loud noise muffled by the closed elevator. It seemed to be a gunshot. Panic filled my senses and I was imobile as the elevator was about to open on the floor where my father was. Then it hit me. My father might be in trouble. Just as the elevator opened and I stepped out of it, I saw five men walking into the second elevator on this floor. I stood still frightened. As soon as the elevator door was closed and on its way down, I rushed to my father’s office.

I made it to his doorway and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I breathed heavily as I watched the horrifying scene of my now dead father. My life, my world was crushed and nothing was the same.

What did you think of this sneak peek?

I’ve completely rewritten this book 🩷 It was first published 8 years ago and I wanted to give it new life.

I hope you enjoyed this foreview of Reigna. Please share your thoughts in the comments 😩💗

Xoxo,Dgoldenblossom 🌸🩷