#i'm sorry this is longer than i meant it

[ziggysarcana]

Ludwig grinned wryly, clearly amused by the comparison. His eyes lit up. "I like that," he tapped his fingers on the table, "Two surgeon's here, just different... specialties." He laughed, warm and genuine as he fumbled with the last word, the syllables not coming out how he intended. He leaned back and swirled the remnants of his beer before replying, "I guess if you squint it's really the same concept. But I don't stich anyone togerher. I just make sure evferything's running smoothly and there's no oil on the floor." His grin widened and he glanced at him. "Both in the business of saving things, just different kinds of damage." He leaned towards him and his voice softened, almost imperceptably, "I think I get it, working at Community Care probably isn't the rush you're used to. That's something I understand better than probably anything else in the world." And he could. Going from Hauptfeldwebel to mechanic was probably a lot like going from surgeries to aiding with the common cold. "A different kind of satisfaction. I'm sure all of your menial patients appreciate you more than you know."

The sounds of the bartender coming to take their empty glaces captured his attention. Lud raised his hand and gave a small nod of thank you as he placed an order for another round. His blue eyes flickered back over to Brook, "I've always thought the most important thing -- is just sticking to it. Still standing. Doing what you can, even if it doesn't look the same as it used to. Some fuck ups are big, as long as you're able to move past it you're winning. If you stayed in a ....perpetual state of .... um, ruminating, then you'd be failing, I think." He let his words settle for a moment before he gave a boyish grin, saying "So you're not failing, not by a long shot mein Freund. Maybe a few battles, ja, but not the war."

Ludwig smiled at his genuine curiosity and he leaned back in his stool, taking a moment before he answered. There were a lot of things he had been taught growing up that weren't exactly the truth. "Well, technically I'm not sure if it came from Germany. Perhaps it's a shared thing." He said, eager to explain something he had seen on a late night history program, "Theodore Roosevelt went on a hunting trip and he absolutely refused to shoot a bear because he said it wasn't very... Unsportlich.." Lud paused, trying to think of the English equivalent, "It wasn't good sporting practice." He tried. "There was a cartoonist who found this all very amusing, so he made a comic about the situation. Teddy Bears, in honor of him."

At his next question he couldn't help but chuckle. He leaned in, amused with himself for all of this "Ach, I'm just being ridiculous, entschuldigung. That was just my way of saying usually I find myself preferring men, especially handsome one's." He gave him a wink, one that was playful and easy. "Not sure why I chose baseball, it's not really my favorite either. More of a 'soccer' guy myself. Deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft, naturlich", he did a little silent cheer "the Germany national football team." Germany had just won the World Cup, and even if it was technically West Germany at the time, the pride was still there. It was all the same now. Something that made him smile wider.

Smiling at Ludwig's words, Brook replied modestly, "Ah, it's not a big deal." But then he paused and laughed, admitting, "Alright, alright, I guess it sort of is. Not everyone can do it." If Brook were the bragging type, he'd have mentioned that he had had a high ranking at Mass Gen, that he was given many of the more difficult surgeries, but that just wasn't the type of person he was. He didn't want Ludwig to downplay what he did though, so Brook said, "I could never do what you do though. I don't know the first thing about cars." No one had ever taught him, and besides, it wasn't like Brook exactly had time to learn anyway. "You know, it's kind of like you do surgery on cars," Brook said with a big smile on his face. "So in a way, we're both surgeons." He laughed, knowing the comment was silly, but hopefully he'd see that megawatt smile on Ludwig's face again. "You know, I haven't done a single surgery since I've been here and don't have full privileges at the hospital even. Most of my time at Community Care is dealing with like...colds and stuff." It was much easier than surgery, but it was also less thrilling, and honestly Brook missed the OR.

He nodded thoughtfully at Ludwig's words. "I guess you're right," Brook replied. "It's not so black and white...there are a lot of gray areas. But...trust me when I say there are some areas I really, really failed." Overall he might not be a failure, but Brook would forever be paying for the ways in which he had truly and utterly failed, there was no doubt about that. But he didn't want to get into that. The two of them seemed to both be carrying a lot, and Brook respected Ludwig not wanting to talk about it - that was definitely something he could relate to. So Brook didn't push, instead just patting Ludwig on the shoulder, giving him a reassuring nod.

"Wait, I knew the origin of the name, but are you telling me the German people are the ones to give it that name?" Brook asked, genuinely intrigued by this information. "I just assumed that they called it something else and the Americans took the idea and claimed it as their own, which, you know, is something they would do." Brook was not naïve to the faults of his country. "So if they did give the teddy bear its name, then why that? Why named after Teddy Roosevelt?" Brook had serious questions. Brook laughed, and then he laughed again at Ludwig's next remark. "Okay, I understand the 'both teams' part of that metaphor, but what does outfield represent? Like...if we were both flirting with each other, does that mean we're playing outfield right now? Or is that...uh, infield?" Laughing yet again, Brook admitted, "I'll be honest with you, Ludwig: I really hate baseball."

[lulu-draws-stuff]

How does that sound?

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

[royalarchivist]

SmallFryz: NONONO– Fit, Fit, Fit– Listen, listen– We can talk this out, we can talk this out! 😨

Fit: See, that's the fighting spirit! There we go! Mano a mano!

SmallFryz: Fit– Fit, we're like brothers, man! How could you do this to me?

"There's no lore on JoeSMP" Maybe not, but there sure is drama! 🍿

[butmakeitgayblog]

Based on what you said about how you think the end of the pike blockade would go down, how do you think Lexa would react to Clarke being injured/nearly killed by Pike?

Bear with me here because I'm sure there's a lot of people who thin it would go down differently lol

But to be honest, I think a lot more would happen than just a Pike vs Clarke showdown of sorts. I think in the scenario that I gave - Pike ultimately losing his shit and going after Clarke for "treason" - that would force the entirety of the remaining Skaikru to really face themselves and the future of who they want to be as a clan/a people.

Bluntly, I think it would cause a flashpoint civil war.

By that point enough people would fed up with the living conditions under the blockade, fed up with Pike and his guard's power plays, fed up with constantly being pitted against each other exactly as they had been in space and every day since reaching the ground. Every day is fear, every moment is struggle. Because now not only are they expelled from the coalition AND the lands around them AND confined to yet another prison with limited resources and freedoms just as they were in space, but they're also being told point blank 'even if you wish to leave and start over outside of us, you can't. You're stuck here whether you like it or not.'

And pair that up with what Clarke has done to help them (despite their, whew, overwhelming tendency to blame her for goddamn everything 😒), I think enough people would just be so fucking done with it that it would indeed evolve into the chaos of a civil war.

And I think the first pop of gunfire would have Lexa and her army throwing themselves into the action. Not because is Lexa is terrified (tho she is) and not because Lexa would do something as foolhardy as throw herself into a gunfight if she thought Clarke were in danger (ha ok lesbian we've seen that play out 😐). But rather because, this has been the inevitable outcome all along. Pike was always going to make sure of that.

I don't think it'd be a popular decision. I don't even think Lexa would outright command her army to fight. But with her warriors already hungry for battle, what I believe Lexa would do is present the situation as a choice to follow her into the fray or not. Simply put: to show allegiance to the coalition or not. I think she'd remind them that despite the blockade, Skaikru is still one of the coalition's clans. That, just as she had promised, those who were still loyal to her sovereignty and the 12 clans had been working from the inside to unseat the rebel murderers - the same ones who had cut down their own fellow in arms. That the already growing number of Skaikru prisoners of war/refugees were a testament to that struggle and the will of the people trapped under an unjust, tyrant leader, and how they were proof of those machinations currently at play beyond the walls of Arkadia. The proof that they had allies inside.

But also, such as with most any uprising and revolts against injustice, more often than not in this gruesome world, blood must be spilled. And that this moment was their time to collect what is due. In the name of their fallen brothers and sisters. In the name of the coalition, and everything they stand for.

(Basically an emotion filled and lowkey manipulative call to arms 👀)

So between the coalition loyalists and those simply hungry for 'blood must have blood' payment for those they'd lost to Skaikru and Pike, a fair descent amount of warriors would join the fight to besiege Arkadia. Between the might of the coalition breaching their gates and the war raging inside among each other, Pike and his supporters who haven't defected themselves would be divided and spread too thin to cover all their sides, and eventually they'd fall one by one. Until surrender wasn't even a choice. It was a forgone conclusion.

And it would be very bloody, and very quick.

Ultimately, I don't think Clarke would necessarily have needed Lexa to intervene per se, because it would surprisingly(?) still be Octavia who kills Pike. In this she wouldn't be killing him as revenge for Lincoln (well not entirely, he's not dead, just locked up and treated like shit), but rather to set in motion Skaikru's final symbolic fall to the ground. Because in that moment, with Pike's gun pressed to Clarke's head, still desperate and deluded that he can use her pull as leverage to grasp at control even as the sounds of war rage on around them, I think Octavia would realize that was the moment when she had to choose where her allegiance lies: earth or sky. Past or future. Coalition or chaos. Clarke or Pike (and by proxy, Bellamy).

And she'd choose Clarke.

And Lincoln. And Indra. And the anger for what her her brother had become. And her hatred of being boxed in yet again. And the realization that without Pike's death, there would be no moving forward to truly build a new life on the ground.

So with Pike dead, and the Skaikru ~rebels~ rounded up, and the 13th clan surrendering to the coalition, it would be a quite a politically messy situation to tidy up. To say the least. But after Lexa issues orders for the remaining Skaikru to be tended to by healers, and brought food and water (and maybe a lil booze from the encampments to help them wind down) in good faith of their loyalty and return to the coalition, Lexa would nonchalantly escort Clarke back her personal tent (that she had failed to mention in her notes) at the frontline... and do everything she could to not fall to absolute pieces as she personally tended to Clarke's wounds.

But oh. Oh, Clarke would feel the way her entire body was shaking...

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.

Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.

How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!

[ef-1]

girlhood

[diolanza]

@summerxmelodies liked for a starter!

⚗️🧪꒷꒦︶꒷꒦ 💨

❝ Master! Master! ❞

Quickened footfalls echoed down the hallway, the door slamming open the second a freshly poured wine was brought to purple painted lips. The glass held lazily in a gloved hand was nearly crushed, the resulting shards would have made a good weapon to stab whichever imbecile that'd come to harass Punk Hazard's master. But Caesar was using one of the nice wine glass that night and instead opted to not-so-gently place it on the bar. Just as he opened his mouth to berate, threaten, and destroy the moron, a stranger appeared in the doorway just behind them.

If it weren't for the woman's presence, Caesar would have had one less underling to deal with. Were they just letting anyone on the island now?! Yellow hues slowly scanned her form looking for even a single thing that'd signal that she was a Marine. He smiled, the same lukewarm smile that so easily fooled his little toys.

❝ Poor dear, you must be freezing. ❞

[saltlickmp3]

i really dislike those things that are like 'oh yeah i'm so deep and moody i listen to radiohead and jeff buckley can you tell i'm so delulu teehee girls when no loves them' like AHHHHH COME ON it's just the shallowest thing ever, you don't like that music because you're hastag mental illness aesthetic you like it cos it's good music????

like i'm sure they think they're so alternative or something but that's literally not what it's about????? like yeah ok some of it maybe can be a little funny but some of the stuff i see just has such toxic vibes 'i'm so fun at parties' 'girls when they rot in bed' 'i'm such a fun person to be around' 'behind every hot girl is this album that got her through hashtag trauma' 'pov you're a total loser' overlaid over pictures of a while bunch of actually very very good albums. perfectly normal playlists of not-actually-very-alternative music. 'oh but i relate so hard on a personal level' yeah that's the point of songs????? that why that music is still popular, cos it resonates with people???

like i'm sorry??? a lot of this isn't even like tragic music??? the beatles are on there??? talking heads?? stevie wonder??? someone explain how listening to sigur ròs or sonic youth or david bowie makes you a loser??? like c'mon you can listen to sad music without making it your entire personality or like it's some sort of indicator of anything. liking this music means you have good taste now can you stop being pretentious about it!!! you're not edgy or mysterious if you're making frickin instagram edits about it!!!

and so much of it has this sort of 'i'm hot because i'm mentally ill because this song made me sad once uwu i'm just like jeff buckley frfr' which is just so icky. romanticisation of mental illness isn't cool guys and you're not delusional for thinking abut your crush while listening to sad love songs

the aestheticisation of alternative music just really pisses me off and so much of it is just super toxic can we stop with that i'm seriously gonna stop making radiohead jokes it's not even funny anymore

[succcesssion]

Judas

[manasurge]

1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<

[iridescentoracle]

Hello! I am here to ask about your Dior headcanons re: the political cohesion of Doriath. 👀

Oh man, I didn't expect anyone to actually take me up on that!

(Okay so I got partway into writing this and then realized I should probably note up front that I tend to stick to the Silm (& LOTR/the Hobbit where applicable, but they... aren't, here) as the most authoritative version of canon, and I can get into why and where the nuances/exceptions are there (I do say tend to stick, it's not hard and fast!), but that's mostly a side note here: the point is simply that I don't really factor other drafts or the poetic Leithian into my take on Doriath, Thingol, Dior, etc, just what we're told in the actual Silm. I also read the Silm as an in-universe history text compiled by in-universe scholars, who, being people, are going to have their own biases and blind spots, even when they're doing their best to be accurate!)

So, this is a two-part thing: #1, there's the political cohesion of Doriath before & at the time of Thingol's death, which i talked about in the tags of the post that prompted this ask but is kind of necessary as context for the Dior part to make sense, and #2, there's the actual Dior headcanons. Both of these parts are very long because I've never really seen anyone else suggest any of this stuff and I want to explain where I'm coming from thoroughly enough that it actually makes sense to people who aren't me, but the TL;DRs:

TL;DR 1: I think Doriath was probably a hot mess politically after Thingol died, with tensions between various groups of Sindar and Laiquendi in the leadup to Thingol's death & Melian's departure, and more political tensions afterwards between those who wanted Beren & Lúthien to come be the new rulers, and those who thought they should stay gone, with someone still in Doriath taking over.

TL;DR 2: I think Dior became Eluchil, potentially at the request of some portion of the Iathrim, hoping to help prevent Doriath from devolving into civil war, and saw dealing with the Silmaril-Fëanorioni situation as a lower priority than stabilizing Doriath's internal political situation until it was too late.

1. The political cohesion (or rather, lack thereof) in Doriath prior to Thingol's death

So, okay, the thing about Doriath is that we don't actually have any real idea of like... how much the Iathrim liked being the Iathrim? We're never told about any intra-Iathrim conflict, but a) the Silm was probably compiled mostly by surviving Gondolindrim or their descendants, so they wouldn't know about anything liike that unless surviving Iathrim told them, and after the Second Kinslaying I don't imagine many Iathrim would've been eager to talk about how things had actually been tense/messy/etc when they could remember everything as having been perfect until it was ruined by the Fëanorionrim, and doubly so after the Third Kinslaying, so why would anything like that make it into the Silm?

and b) what we do know about Doriath is that it wasn't really Doriath as we know it until Morgoth came back to Middle-earth, and everything went to hell.

At the start of the first age, you suddenly get Doriath (the fenced land!) being the one protected area of a continent that used to be totally free and open. How many Sindar actually didn't particularly care for Thingol's style of leadership, or simply preferred to live nomadic lives, going basically wherever they pleased, until suddenly that wasn't safe anymore, and you were only guaranteed survival if you were close enough to Menegroth to be within the Girdle when it went up? ditto how many Laiquendi had no interest in swearing loyalty to Thingol right after their own king had just been killed, but again, made it to safety and stayed there over taking their chances on their own in the outside world?

I think it's entirely possible that there were always potential political tensions under the surface in Doriath that just... never got written about, because they never boiled over into actual political conflict, and so it was never the sort of tension that had any bearing on the historical record.

Except then Beren & Lúthien happen to the world, and a few years later the Narn, and in the blink of an eye suddenly the only king Doriath has ever had is dead, and the only queen Doriath has ever had is gone and the Girdle with her—and more than that, the only rulers the Sindar had ever had for three thousand years before Doriath existed.

And where a few years earlier I think the Iathrim would probably have turned pretty universally to Lúthien, now she's abandoned them for her human husband—and while she's my favorite character in the entire legendarium hands-down and I don't blame her, I think that's another place there might have actually been some very mixed feelings among the Iathrim that nobody wanted to admit to later because how could anyone have been upset with Lúthien—and on top of her abandoning them for him, I think it's extremely probable most of Doriath did not actually get over their xenophobia about humans in general or Beren in specific when Thingol did (we know for sure at least some of Doriath didn't, cf. Saeros insulting Túrin's mother & sister to his face), but again, who's going to admit to having had a grudge against the holy couple of Middle-earth after the fact, you know?

Conversely, there could've been a sizeable faction of Sindar who had been totally loyal to Thingol until everything happened with Beren & Lúthien, but who found his actions towards them and/or Finrod to be where they drew the line, and while (unlike B&L themselves) that faction stayed in Doriath, there could've been a new, additional tension on that front.

Finally, for all we know there were multiple factions within the Laiquendi of Doriath, with political tensions stretching back to before their king died, rooted in who-even-knows!

2. Dior

All of that, of course, sets up a very, very messy political situation for Dior to walk into.

The Doriath stuff is arguably more speculation than actual headcanon, but here's where the unambiguous headcanons come in: I don't think "Dior Eluchil set himself to raise anew the glory of the kingdom of Doriath." Obviously that's how it got written down, but bluntly, I can't see Beren and Lúthien having a kid that stupid or, like, power-hungry and arrogant?

What I can see is a situation where the messenger that brought word of Thingol's death and Melian's departure asked Beren & Lúthien to come take over as the new king and queen, we promise we're not mad about you leaving and we won't be xenophobic to your husband anymore we swear it's fine now pretty please, Beren & Lúthien said no, and the messenger either asked Dior as a second choice, or said "okay fine none of that was actually true but Doriath is falling apart and we need a leader ASAP and there's about eight different contenders* (mostly kinsmen of Thingol or Laiquendi) being backed by various factions and it's going to devolve into civil war any minute so if you care at all—" and Dior said "would I do?"

(* Ask me about my Galadriel headcanon)

I don't think Dior necessarily wanted to be king of Doriath, and I don't think he saw the throne as his birthright or anything like that; I don't think anyone involved, from Thingol to Lúthien to Dior himself, ever considered the possibility of Thingol dying and needing an heir! I think it's possible he was asked, or at most that he offered, and either way, I think he saw becoming king as taking on a responsibility for the sake of others.

(Which, like, "well here's a potentially impossible task that I'm going to take up even though probably no one thinks I'm actually capable of it, but it's my duty to help others as best I can" sure does sound to me like an attitude one might develop when raised by Lúthien "I kicked Sauron's ass cast a sleep spell on Morgoth and persuaded the Valar to find a loophole in the fabric of reality" Tinuviel and Beren "I stayed by my father's side as an outlaw to give my mother time to lead the rest of our people away hopefully to safety knowing I would never see her or any of them again (and then spent several years being a giant thorn in Morgoth's side for good measure)" Barahirion, where "apparently my grandpa I may or may not have ever met died, guess that makes me the king of a place i may or may not have ever been" does... not.)

I also think he either took on the epithet Eluchil, or was given it by whichever factions of the Iathrim accepted him as king, when he actually became king. Obviously he's going to be referred to as Dior Eluchil even before that in retrospect because that's how he's thought of later, but that doesn't mean it was actually a name he always had, you know?

The final thing is, I think if Dior essentially walked into a political situation five seconds from devolving into civil war, it makes his inaction regarding the Silmaril prior to the Second Kinslaying make more sense: the Fëanorioni have been sitting around doing nothing about the Silmaril in Doriath / with Beren & Lúthien this whole time, the letter saying "hey that's our Silmaril give it back now" is probably just a formality, and Dior's only been ruling for a couple years, there's still plenty of people dubious about whether he should be king at all, he might well be subject to at least some of whatever xenophobia remains about humans in Doriath, and in general all the work he's done on stabilizing the kingdom will absolutely come undone again if he screws up; he's trying to keep a kingdom from falling apart, the Silmaril thing can wait.

Of course, it wasn't a formality, and it couldn't wait, but why would Dior have known that?

[vocaloid-song-showdown]

vocaloid song showdown bracket (masterpost)

hi happy miku day <3 <3 <3 i didn't mean to take so long to get the bracket arrangement up but if it has to be late what better day to upload them than 3/9 :'D

anyway here are the lineups ^^ (formally done this time)

round one is scheduled to start this sunday on march 12th <3

(all links are in the read more since there are a lot of them)

rounds ::

all rounds to be posted

playlists ::

nominated songs bracket songs honorable mentions poll runner's favorites (to be posted after the polls to prevent bias)

main matchups :: (spaced by era)

songs with a * next to them may focus on and/or contain topics that might be upsetting to some. please proceed with caution. please feel free to reach out if you'd like more specific warnings. - alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa - magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko - world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka - triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p - meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree - fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project - daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p - rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi - madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama - senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin - doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p - jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p - the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt - heat haze days* by jin / patchwork staccato by toa - six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru - aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p - setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna - a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco - my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p - chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27 - blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu - law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu - sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27 - monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki - cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost - hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga - meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m - the court jester by thquib / casino by azari - king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha - lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki - higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost - queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mentions matchups ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

[iwanttobepersephone]

I decided I didn't entirely love my Watcher Grian design, so I was gonna just draw a bunch of different designs and see which ones I liked best, y'know, testing out ideas

But, I think the first design has won without me even beginning on other designs

[paragonknightxander]

Her steps are wobbly as she approaches, the half finished drink not her first of the night. It's a coin toss if Xander will lecture her about it, but if she remains composed enough, Camilla figured he wouldn't mind.

"Happy new year Xander!" She placed a kiss on her older brother's cheek. "It's so wonderful with us all together. I hope the new year brings good things for us."

“Ah, Camilla!” Xander couldn’t help but feel concern for his sister, her lack of balance certainly did no favors. He squinted, “Tell me, are you aware of how much you've been drinking? Do you need anything, perhaps somewhere to sit down?”

Holiday or not he wasn’t exactly comfortable with her wandering around aimlessly while drunk. However this holiday in particular is special, it's not only a celebration of the future but to appreciate past endeavors as well. Making it through another year was an achievement worthy of jubilation.

Perhaps he should bring his worries a tone down, at least for tonight. “My apologies, I know you are more than capable of handling yourself.” He tried to cast away those doubts– for now, and trust her.

Oh– He couldn’t help but grin, letting out a small laugh from her kiss. “Well, it’s good to see you too. Happy new year, it seems you've been having fun. I’m glad to see it.” She had always been braver than him when it came to showing one’s care. If he wasn’t so terrible at physical affection any affection he would offer something sweet in return. Perhaps a hug, or a moment of holding hands.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m sure much is to come, honestly I hadn’t expected so many of us to be here. It's certainly a pleasant surprise.” He stated, still mulling over his previous thoughts.

Ironic how growing up he was always told to keep a certain distance in order to remain strong, yet now he can't help but see it as one of his greatest weaknesses…

No.

Is that not part of this holiday? To find ways to build towards improving yourself? She had always made initiating acts of endearment look easy. Though never speaking of it out loud; a part of Marx wished to learn how.

Strangers and acquaintances are one thing; they didn't need anything more than his stoic outside. But this is his family, trying to keep distance has done nothing but make him live with more regrets.

Loving is a double edged sword, it’s something you cannot control. Better to appreciate those in your life now than to live wishing you could have shown them how much you care.

No more excuses! He's going to try and show appreciation! Surely a hug would do.

…

Yet…

His body refused to move from its usual stance. No matter how much he told himself to do something it wouldn’t work. It was as if his mind was completely disconnected from everything else.

It's frustrating– very frustrating. This should be simple, he shouldn’t even have to think about it this much!

Everything feels so far beyond his control, the moment turned into awkward silence. He wanted to do better and yet it was already too late. He didn’t wish to think this way; however perhaps he’s too broken. Maybe next time.

“I hope this night treats you well.” He masked his own disappointment in himself, brushing it under the rug. “I know it’s already been said but I really am pleased to see you. It is always nice to spend time together.”

[thorntopieces]

I need to finish writing the Genesis bpd episode fic I've been working on on-and-off every time I'm in my own episode