#i'm sorry i get the point behind that one post but it targets the wrong people and it's driving me crazy

[captainjonnitkessler]

"omggg why do I keep learning about major world events through the destiel meme 😂" that's because you spend several hours a day on social media but only check the news once or twice, so you're statistically much more likely to be on social media when major events happen

"omg WHY isn't anyone talking about this??!!" That one is because you don't read the news, hope this helps

[chronicsyd]

I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"

shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.

The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.

"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.

I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.

What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.

Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?

But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...

(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)

[python333]

I love your writings sm. And I love the way you write platonic stuff with task force 141 😋

You can ignore this if ya want but I just can't get over reader angst. Honestly atp I starve for angst. Could you feed us another angst fic? Like platonic 141 with a reader where she maybe got pretty badly injured while being on a mission? :3

AND. don't forget to stay hydrated and eat well!! Take any breaks you need 😌.

(sorry if this doesn't make sense English is not my native language 🥲)

below zero — python333

— — — —

synopsis u get thrown into a freezer after refusing to give up intel to enemy soldiers, and u get thrown into a freezer, and ghost comes and saves u :3

relationships platonic!ghost & gn!reader.

characters ghost.

word count 5.2k

warnings hypothermia, disorientation, 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note hi anon thank u so much for all the compliments!!! before i say anything else, i wanna point out that i 1) only really wrote ghost into this and 2) literally read the request completely wrong and i think im actually just illiterate because how did i mess up this bad. ALSO hi its been a month since i posted on here i swear i'm still alive i'm just super busy with school!! updates are going to be extremely slow, so i apologize in advance. still, i hope u enjoy it anyways tho!! its all hurt/comfort + angst/fluff + protective/soft ghost :3

When you were thrown into the freezer, the first thing you noticed were the bodies. 

There’s ten that you can immediately see, and twelve once you look a little bit closer. All of them are suspended from the ceiling, each hanging from their ankle—with said ankle being held up by a meat hook. 

When the door had been closed shut with a loud, booming thump you hadn’t felt any immediate fear. But now, as you’re sitting in the corner of the freezer you’d been trapped in—the corner farthest away from any bodies—that fear is starting to set in.

Before this, only a few minutes ago, you were being interrogated. Your captors were asking for information on the details of any upcoming missions, objectives, target locations, anything that you had about the 141 that you could share with them, they wanted. 

Of course, you didn’t say anything. You remained silent throughout the entire thing, not talking once, even when at the end of the whole thing your interrogator slammed his hand down onto the table you were sat down in front of and yelled at you to say anything. 

When he and his team figured out that you wouldn’t give them any information, you remember he muttered something unintelligible under his breath and swiftly walked over to your end of the table. He had uncuffed your ankles from the legs of the chair you were sitting down on and uncuffed your wrists from the table, and before you could fight back, he grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and dragged you behind him. 

Then, he led you to the freezer you were trapped in now, and threw you in roughly before shutting the door behind you. You had hit and scratched at the door for a good minute after being thrown in, and after you figured that it was a waste of time trying to do so, you sighed and retired to the corner.

Now, as you’re huddled in the corner, you kind of regret not giving them the intel they needed. 

The freezer wasn’t too bad at first—you thought you’d last pretty long in there, and mentally called all the dead bodies hung from meat hooks in there pussies and simply walked around for a bit. The walking helped warm you up a bit, but soon it got tiring, and you retired to the corner farthest away from any dead bodies. 

You think the freezer is below zero degrees—no, has to be below zero, because now, just about five minutes after being thrown in, violent shivers have started to wrack your body and you swear you can’t feel your lips anymore. You haven’t been able to feel any sort of warmth in the past four minutes, all of it disappearing within the first. 

And God, the smell. The smell of frozen, rotting flesh really isn’t something you ever want to smell again. Thankfully, there’s no live flies in the freezer—all of them had died of the severe cold, creating small black circles under each hanging body where they died. 

You currently have your knees up to your chest with your hands trapped in between your thighs to try and keep them warm at least, with your forehead resting on the top of one of your knees. It’s working, kind of. The palms and backs of your hands feel just warm enough to not be considered cold, but the tips of your fingers are so cold they’re beginning to burn. 

You pull them back a bit to trap your fingertips in between your thighs, exposing the area where your wrist and hand meet to the cold, sighing as your fingertips warm up just a bit. Your thighs, thankfully, still have some heat trapped in between them, and you think your stomach is still somewhat warm. 

Around ten minutes later, you feel the heat trapped in your thighs start to dissipate. Fucking fantastic. You sigh and let your head tilt back, the back of it hitting the wall behind you, making you wince at the cold metal directly on your head. The cold seems to crawl through your hair and make it to your scalp, small pinpricks of the cold spreading throughout your scalp and the back of your neck. 

You’re reminded of just how cold it is then, of how this is quite literally a freezer, and of how said freezer has already claimed twelve lives. Or, at least, has housed twelve dead bodies and several unfortunate flies.

Just then, the fear finally starts to set in. 

At first, you weren’t all too worried about being saved—you figured you’d be found soon enough, since your team has a general idea of where you are. But the more you think about it, the more your brain emphasizes the general part of general idea. You start to think about how they don’t know any specifics. 

Sure, they know that you were captured, and that you were being held in some small part of Italy, and the people who captured you—but what did they know beyond that? Did they know your exact location? How long would it take them to figure it out? And how long would it take them to get here? 

Would you even be alive by the time they got here, if they ever did?

You notice your teeth starting to make an annoying chattering noise and you bite down to stop them. The violent shivers that wrack your body don’t help, the intense trembling only succeeding in making you more anxious. You start to become hyper aware of the cold that crawls onto your back from the freezing metal you’re leaning back on, and you quickly push yourself just a foot away from it so that it no longer bothers you. 

Your feet are starting to feel numb, you don’t think you’d be able to stand on them anymore if you tried, for you fear you’d just stumble and fall down. You look around the small freezer. There’s nothing that could help you get out—there’s only the bodies suspended from the ceiling and the dead flies that surround them. 

You’re glad none of the bodies are facing you—you don’t know what you would do if you had to sit in the corner with a bunch of dead bodies staring at you with their vacant, frozen-over eyes. Thinking about the eyes makes your own water, and you blink away the small tears that’ve gathered on your waterline. 

You can’t feel them, but you see the tears that were once in your eyes now clumping together on your eyelashes, making your brows furrow. With them starting to cling to your eyelashes comes blurriness for the top half of whatever you can see. You sigh, a white puff of condensation hanging in the air as evidence of your exhale, and move your hand out from in between your thighs to wipe away the tears from your lashes haphazardly. 

You don’t bother to put your hand back in between your thighs, instead just resting it on top of your knee. Despite it only having been around fifteen minutes since you were thrown into the freezer, you’re starting to feel more fatigued and your breath slows down significantly, as does your heartbeat. 

Another ten minutes of doing nothing but staring at the wall opposite of your own pass by, and disorientation is starting to set in. You feel oddly forgetful—like at times, you forget how you even got into the freezer, and have to wrack your brain to remember that you literally got thrown into it and are now trapped in here until someone rescues you. Assuming they do. Who was it that would even rescue you? 

You think long and hard for a few seconds, and can scrounge up nothing from your confused mind. You let out a frustrated huff and let your head tilt and fall forward so that your forehead is resting atop your knee, another shiver ripping through your frame. It almost feels like it’s getting colder in the fridge. 

Suddenly, you hear a loud banging noise—albeit, it sounded more muffled to your ears, but you could tell it was loud—and guns being fired. 

You can’t really tell when the gunfire dies down, but you can tell when the thumping of someone’s boots grows louder and closer to the door of the freezer. You try to stand up, not really knowing why since you’re in no condition to fight, having been in a freezer for about forty minutes, but you still attempt to. 

You find that standing is extremely difficult after practically being frozen alive for the past forty minutes, because as soon as you try to even push yourself off of the ground with your shaky hands, you discover that you aren’t even strong enough to push yourself up a single inch before having to stop. As well as that, you find that the ground is just as freezing as the walls and air of the freezer, because your hands now ached with frostbite. 

The action causes an unexpected wave of exhaustion to roll over you, and you pant to try and catch your breath, breathing white puffs of condensation out into the air. 

You hear a loud bang against the door, and jump at the sound, your head whipping towards the door. You hear another loud noise, and the confused fog that’s taken over your mind only grows thicker, your disorientation only growing stronger with it. The room feels like it’s spinning, and the feeling reminds you of a word, and you know what the word is, but fuck, why don’t you know it at the same time? Why can’t I remember anything? 

There’s another bang, and you hear muffled cursing before suddenly the door bursts open, a man wearing a skull mask stumbling in after it does so—he probably ran into it to open it, you think, watching the man get his balance back. He looks around for a moment before his eyes land on you, and the moment they do, you finally remember something. 

That’s Ghost. 

Somewhere in your confusion-clouded mind, you’re happy that you’ve finally remembered something. But right now, you can’t really think about anything—your mind is blank, and you can barely even process what you’re seeing. 

You’re so caught up in thinking about the fact that you aren’t really thinking, you’re just focusing a little more on whatever’s going on in your mind and not actually retaining any of it, that you don’t even notice Ghost rushing towards you and kneeling down right next to you. 

He pauses for a moment, but after a second he makes the decision to put one hand behind your back and snake one under your legs, the warm physical touch making you wince. Not that you didn’t like the warmth—you just didn’t like the sudden temperature change beneath your knees and across your back.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Ghost grunts as he picks you up, one arm under your knees and the other behind your back, lifting you up into a sort of bridal carry. He nearly drops you because of how cold your skin is—for a moment he thinks your back and legs are wet, then he realizes that no, they aren’t wet, you’re just really fucking cold. 

He takes a moment to make sure you’re secure in his arms before tilting his head to the side, all the way down to his shoulder, and muttering something into his earpiece. Despite being so close to him, his voice only sounds muffled to you—in all honesty, just about everything is starting to sound more muffled to you. You can only tell he’s done talking because he lifts his head back up and readjusts his arms around you, before walking out the busted-open door. 

The walking quickly turns into running, which then turns into sprinting, making your surroundings go blurry and makes your vertigo worse—it almost feels like you’re falling. You’re grateful you haven’t eaten anything in the past few hours, because you fear that if you had, you would’ve thrown it all up by now. All you can see are blurred colors—the hallways, you vaguely remember, because I’m in a building. How’d I even get here? Why am I here? You’re pulled out of your confused thoughts when you’re set down on the ground somewhere, and forced into a lying position with your limbs all outstretched. When you slowly blink up at what you thought was the ceiling, you’re both surprised and not surprised when you see the blue-black night sky. 

Not sure of what’s going on, you try to get up, but Ghost quickly pushes you back down, muttering something under his breath. He pauses for a moment, his blurred figure stopping any and all movements, before he suddenly picks you back up, making you wince at the way your head spins at the sudden movement. You hear a quiet, muffled—but clearer than before—’sorry’ from Ghost before he’s running again. 

It’s a much shorter distance this time, and instead of immediately setting you down, you hear something click and suddenly you hear another muffled voice. They sound concerned, you mentally note, Or maybe confused. Maybe both, actually. No yeah, definitely both. Well, now just concerned. Or maybe that’s confused. 

Caught up in your confused thoughts, you don’t realize that you’re being set down on a few comfy seats. You aren’t pulled away from your own thoughts until you feel two warm hands cupping either side of your jaw, and hear Ghost’s oddly distressed voice becoming more clear by the second. You now acknowledge the weird ringing in your ears that almost drown out the sound of Ghost, and struggle to figure out what he’s saying through the annoying noise. 

“—something,” You catch the end of Ghost’s sentence, and blink up at him slowly. 

“Huh?” You elegantly ask, coughing and wincing at your hoarse voice, not knowing how it got so hoarse—or why it hurt so much to talk. Your throat almost felt like it was burning, but it also felt oddly numb, a sensation you couldn’t quite put a name on. 

“Oh my god,” Ghost sighs, his forehead falling onto your chest momentarily as he takes a few deep breaths. He brings his head back up from your chest and says, “I almost thought you were dead when I got in there. Jesus, you look dead. I need to— I need to get something, a blanket or— why the fuck don’t we carry any heat packs or anything in here? Swear to God, I’m gonna—” You don’t pay too much attention to Ghost’s panicked ranting and shift your head to the side to try and look at where you are, and you discover that you’re in a car. Oh. Cool. You spot the door on the passenger seat’s side still open and swinging a bit, as if it’d been opened quickly just a few moments earlier for someone to quickly get out. 

Ghost suddenly backs up and gets out of the car, though staying within a foot of it, looking around for a moment before heading to the back of the car. Your head clears up the tiniest bit, just enough for you to be able to assume that he’s heading to the back of the car to get to the trunk for whatever reason, and you simply lie there on the seat cushions. 

A few seconds later, Ghost comes back with a somewhat-fluffy jacket, and carefully gets into the car—half kneeling down so that he doesn’t need to lean on the seats to get to you. He tosses the coat over your chest, and it does absolutely nothing at first, at least not until Ghost gets a bit closer and tucks the coat tighter around you, treating it like a blanket. Then, it starts to warm you up just the tiniest bit. Beyond that, it does absolutely nothing. But props to Ghost for at least trying. 

He quickly backs out of the car and once he’s out he closes the door behind him, and you want to get up for a moment, just to go see what he’s doing, but you don’t have to. He gets into the car again, this time in the driver’s seat, and he turns on the ignition. Once the car rumbles to life, he immediately turns up the heat and leans over to the passenger seat’s side in order to close the door, and with a grunt he manages to do so. 

The newfound heat makes you shiver, and it almost feels like you’re in a microwave defrosting. Distracted by the sudden temperature change, you don’t pay attention to what Ghost is saying into his earpiece as he glances out the front window of the car and back at you. You simply tug the jacket tighter around your torso and relish in the warmth. 

“—ay. So we’ll just leave then, and you’ll be fine?” You pick up from Ghost’s conversation, perking up at the mention of leaving, “Copy that, Captain. I’ll get them back to base.”

‘Captain’—Oh, he’s talking to Price—says something that makes Ghost sigh exasperatedly and take his index finger off of his earpiece, instead settling both of his hands on the steering wheel of the car and stealing one last glance at you before setting his eyes on the gravel ahead of him and pushing down on the gas pedal.

— 

When you wake up, you’re significantly warmer than you were�� however-long-it’s-been-ago. 

You look to your left and see nothing but a white wall and a heart rate monitor—which displays that your heart rate is 115—then to your right, where you see Ghost sitting in a plastic chair close to the bed you’re laying in, eyes closed with his head tilted to the side and resting on his own shoulder.

You don’t bother trying to wake him up, not knowing how long he’s been asleep or how much sleep he’s gotten, and instead simply turn your head back to stare up at the ceiling. 

After maybe five minutes of zoning out and staring up at the ceiling, you hear clothes rustling and look back over to your right, seeing Ghost start to stir in his sleep. Just a few seconds later, he stirs awake, slowly blinking his eyes open. 

You watch silently as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, and he breathes in sharply through his nose before looking over at you and seeing you staring at him wordlessly. You both blink at each other for a long, awkward moment before he speaks. 

“… Did you, uh… how was your… rest?” Ghost asks, not sure what to say. What exactly do you say, after saving one of your teammates from potential death?

“Good,” You respond, your throat having an odd, small burning sensation when you talk. 

Ghost looks like he’s holding back a few words for a moment after you speak, and after one expectant look from you, he mumbles, “You should really say ‘well’ or ‘fine’ instead. It’d be more grammatically accurate and is more grammatically aligned with the verb ‘rest’.” 

“… Okay?” You blink, thrown off by the unexpected information, “I’ll, uh… keep that in mind, next time someone asks me how my rest was.” 

“You get asked that often?” 

“I only get asked that by you.” 

“Ah.” Ghost nods, looking off to the side for a moment. You’d think he was your dad and you’d just asked him how babies were made with how awkward he was, and you honestly expected the next words out of his mouth to be ‘when a man and a woman love each other very much’ before he hesitantly asks, “D’you feel better? After the whole being-trapped-in-a-freezer… experience?” 

“Experience?” You question, a light laugh evident in your voice, “Yeah, I feel better. I like being warm more than, y’know, being frozen alive. Laying down in a warm bed is nice.”

“I didn’t know how else to phrase it,” Ghost huffs out, leaning back in his seat. 

“So you’re gonna correct me on my grammar but you can’t think of a better word than ‘experience’?” 

“Don’t get smart with me, [c/n].” 

“I’m just saying,” You shrug lightly, wincing a little when your shoulders ache as you do. Ghost notices this and his eyes narrow, but he doesn’t mention it. 

“Then stop trying to sass me.” 

“Sass you? Jesus, fuck, don’t talk to me like I’m some preteen who just found out that they can talk back to their parents.” 

“Isn’t that what you are, though?” 

“No, I’m— you know what? Fuck you. Get out. I hate you. You suck.” 

“That’s a colorful choice of words to say to the man who saved your life,” Ghost raises an eyebrow at you, “I’m still waiting for my ‘thank you’, by the way.” 

“Don’t care, you’re never getting it,” You say stubbornly, making Ghost sigh and stand up. You look up at him as he stands up and try to sit up in your bed, but wince again when you try to move your arms. Still, you attempt to push yourself up, and only relax your weak joints and lay back down when Ghost presses a gentle hand to your shoulder to get you to stop trying to sit up. 

“Don’t,” He warns softly—you didn’t know his voice could get that soft—as he pushes you back down, “Medics said you’re to keep laying down for a bit while you warm up. We’ve gotta wait until your BPM is below a hundred before letting you up.” 

“That’s stupid,” You huff out, though not fighting Ghost pushing you back down. 

“It’s not stupid,” Ghost lightly chastises you, “It’s doctor’s orders. Once your BPM is below a hundred, we’ll know you’re warmed up enough to start gettin’ up and walking around.” 

“… Still stupid,” You grumble, not commenting on the way Ghost’s hand lingers on your shoulder even after you’ve already laid back down. Ghost sighs and kneels down so that his shoulders are level with the railing of your bed. 

“You’re too stubborn.” 

“I’m not.” 

“Yes you are.” 

“No I’m not!” Your light arguing only proves Ghost’s point further, and he knows this, the knowledge of it making him snicker quietly. 

“Uh huh. Sure, kid,” He begins to retract his hand from your shoulder, but upon seeing the disappointment that immediately seeps into your expression once he even barely begins to lift his hand from your shoulder, he immediately lets it rest right back onto your shoulder. 

You both sit in silence for another few moments before Ghost speaks up again, this time a bit quieter and in that same soft tone he’d used earlier, “I tried to get to you quicker. But we needed some time to get your exact location, and when we found it we were a hundred and sixty klicks away, and it was just—it took us… some time to find you.” 

“It’s fine. I understand,” You respond, about to shrug but stopping yourself, not wanting to feel that aching in your shoulders again, “I don’t even know how I let myself get captured, that— that’s probably on me.” 

“You didn’t let yourself get captured, you just did.” 

“Well…”

“Well, what?” 

“I don’t know, I just—” You take a deep breath before continuing slowly, “I didn’t let myself get captured, but I also didn’t do enough to fight against it, so I feel like technically—” 

“Fuck the technicalities about how you got captured, you got captured either way, and you got thrown into a freezer,” Ghost cuts you off, talking quickly, before sighing and continuing in a softer voice once again, “Please, just let me try to be somewhat comforting for once. You know I’m bad at this, and that I never do this. So just… don’t talk about what happened like that, if not for your own mental health’s sake, at least for my attempts at making you feel better.” 

You open your mouth to say something else but ultimately close your mouth and let out a deep sigh through your nose, not saying anything, letting Ghost continue to talk. 

“I, for whatever reason, feel… very oddly bad for you,” Ghost poorly explains, before pausing to think for a moment then rephrasing, “Not… not as in I pity you, but as in I feel bad for you in a way that I feel like I’m at fault for what you went through even though I know I’m not at fault. It’s like empathy but… worse. Not saying empathy is bad to begin with, but this is like if empathy was bad and it became worse and—” 

Ghost cuts himself off with silence and lets out a frustrated huff at his inability to put his feelings into words, and tries again, “I feel bad for you in a way that I don’t know what exactly you felt or how you felt in the moment that you were in that freezer but just the idea of you being in there without me for… I’m assuming an entire hour, if not longer, makes me feel like I failed. I don’t know what I failed at—”

Ghost quickly pauses before sighing and continuing, “Actually, no, I do. I feel like I failed at protecting you. Which is strange, because that’s technically not my job, but I felt—and still feel—obligated to protect you especially and that bothers me. Not bothers me in a sense that I don’t like you or the thought of… protecting you, but bothers me in the sense that I’m not supposed to feel like that. No amount of teasing, or borderline bullying, or anything should’ve ever made me feel obligated to think of you like— like— like…” Ghost trails off, leaving you wondering what he meant to say. He stays silent for a few moments, before you try to fill in for him. 

“Like… what, a kid?” You offer, watching him shake his head negatively. You think for another moment, before trying again, “… Like your kid?” 

Ghost nods affirmatively, hesitantly, and you want to scoff at the hesitation. 

“And what, that’s bad to you?” You ask, your words more venomous than you intended. Ghost sighs and nonverbally shakes his head negatively before responding to you.

“Not bad in the way you’re thinking,” He answers, before elaborating upon seeing your confused expression, “It’s bad not because you’re bad, it’s bad because I’m bad.” 

“… No you’re not?” 

“Yes, I am.” 

“No, you’re really not,” You insist stubbornly. 

“Please don’t be stubborn with me on this,” His tone makes it sound like he’s almost begging you, which is… somehow beyond terrifying to think about.  

“I’m not being stubborn, I’m being honest, you’re really not.” 

“But I am,” He sounds like he’s trying to make his tone sound like there’s no room for any further arguments, but he fails, and you continue to argue with him. 

“No you’re not!” The whole conversation feels like a parallel to the one you’d both been having just a few minutes earlier, except this time you’re not giving up as easily, “How are you bad?” 

“I’m—” Ghost pauses for a moment, not having expected that argument, and he weakly argues, “I just am!” 

“You’re not, and you fucking know it!” 

“Okay, well—” Ghost sighs and looks away from you, “You might not think so. That’s fine. But I know I am. If not for anything else, for you. I’d be… terrible as any sort of… I don’t know, role model to you.” 

“Jokes on you, you’re already a role model to me.” 

“I’m being serious.” 

“So am I,” You raise an eyebrow at him, “You aren’t a terrible role model. A little emo, sure, but not terrible.” 

“I’m emotionally and mentally unstable, and am terrible with empathy. I’m blunt, abrasive more than half the time, and I tell the shittiest jokes known to man. I can’t— I don’t show my face to anyone. I expect everyone to act the way I want them to. I’m almost always busy.” 

“At least you’re self-aware,” You brush off, “And, for the record, I don’t know what abrasive means and I can’t tell empathy from sympathy without using Google.” 

Ghost looks back at you in disbelief and stares for a moment before saying quietly, “Abrasive means harsh. And empathy is showing understanding for others while sympathy is pity.” 

“I also like your shitty jokes,” You add on, “I think they’re great. They make everyone else mad so I like them. And some of them are funny.” 

“You find them funny?” 

“Yeah?” 

“That’s…” Ghost blinks at you, eyes a little watery, before huffing out a small laugh, “That’s ridiculous, none of them are funny. I call them shitty for a reason.” 

“Some of them are pretty funny.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” 

“The Mayflower one.” 

“… That one?” Ghost asks, tone humorous but still disbelieving, “Out of all the ones I’ve told, that one?” 

“Yes, that one,” You insist, before pausing and holding back a smile while tacking on, “Unless you wanna tell it again to try and change my mind?” 

Ghost thinks for a moment before telling the joke, “If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?” 

You feign cluelessness for a moment, “What do they bring?” 

“Pilgrims.” The bluntness of the delivery makes you quietly snicker, much to Ghost’s surprise, the laugh not forced or anything. 

“It’s still good,” You sigh, small giggles still escaping your lips. 

“It’s really not,” Ghost sighs, finally retracting his hand from your shoulder to settle it on the railing of your bed and use it to help himself stand up. Once he fully stands up, he looks down at you, and one look at your face makes him want to whisk you out of bed and at least hug you, but he knows he can’t with your sore muscles and still-somewhat frozen skin. 

Instead, he opts for grabbing one of your hands gently and giving it a very emotionally charged squeeze, and holding it for another few moments before letting go. 

“I’m not forgetting that, by the way,” At Ghost’s confused eyes, you tack on, “You confirming earlier that you think of me as your kid.” 

“That—” Ghost stammers for a moment before saying, “That was barely a confirmation, that was just— that was nothing.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yes. Yeah. Yep.” 

“So if I told you that you saying that that was nothing is making me a little bit upset…” 

“… Then I would say, out of pity, that I did mean it and that it was a confirmation.” 

“Good to know,” You nod. 

“But that’s only a hypothetical.” 

“Right, yeah, of course.” 

You both stay silent for another moment, the silence now a little less awkward, before Ghost says, “I’m gonna, uh… head out, now.” 

“Alright,” You hum simply, watching as Ghost nods to you as a sort of ‘bye’ before heading towards the curtains in front of your bed. 

Before he can exit, you quickly and quietly say, “Thank you, for saving me.” 

He pauses, a little confused on why you chose now to thank him—and why you thanked him at all—until he quickly recalls earlier in the conversation when he’d mentioned expecting some words of gratitude. 

He smiles behind his mask, the smile evident in his voice as he replies to you, “No problem.”

[loosesodamarble]

About the recent chapter drop...

So chapters 374, 375, and 376 of the Black Clover manga dropped as of the day I've started drafting this post. I have many feelings about this chapter, as several friends can attest. I was going a little a lot feral in a group chat.

Wanna quickly tag @thoughtfullyrainynightmare, @lyranova, and @kalolasfantasyworld for encouraging me to write this little essay. I'll also tag @drmarune as a fellow Faust fan (I know you also love the Yami family so hopefully my thoughts on them are satisfactory).

So let me begin with saying that I'm mainly a Faust girlie. But I will be covering both the Yami and the Fausts to the best of my abilities because the family stories are connected. I cannot give thorough commentary on the chapters if I ignore what's going on with Yami and Ichika.

Okay so! Where to start with my analysis?

I guess the most obvious place to start is with Chapter 374. Title: Demon-God. The "Demon-God" in question is supposed to be Yami. Yami's Dark Magic is seen as ominous and being the attribute of a supreme devil enhances its demonic connotation. Grey, while healing Yami's wounds in chapter 323, noted that Yami's body had become devil-like. Yami is infamously known as the "God of Destruction" in Clover Kingdom. And finally, in chapter 342, Ichika and Yami's father stated that the Yami clan reserves a title for the strongest member of them. The title: Demon-God. (In other words, this chapter could've been titled "Yami Sukehiro" and it wouldn't have changed anything./lh

Looking between when Yami takes the demon soul pill and the fuzzy glimpses of when Ichika took the pill, I'm wondering if the main reason Yami was able to stay sane while under the drug's effects has to do with his current condition. What I mean is... Ichika was just... kinda there. There's not much detail but there didn't seem to be much going on and Ichika and Yami's father just gave Ichika the drug on a whim. There was no outlet for the surge in Ichika's physical prowess. Meanwhile, Yami takes the drug while severely injured but also in the mindset that he has to get up and help fight off Lucius's army. His physical abilities are getting kicked into high gear and he has something to target with those powers. Maybe my reading is weird or wrong. But could it be that the reason no member of the Yami clan was able to stay in control when they took the drug is because they weren't taking it in the right condition. Like, being on death's door probably isn't a prerequisite but maybe no one took the drug with firm grasp on what to do with the excess power. I dunno.

Rewinding a bit... That reunion! FUCKING IMPECCABLE! I love the way Yami at first sees Ichika as a little kid. The way he remembered her last he saw took precedence over reality for a moment (AND HE'S NOT THE ONLY VICTIM OF IT!). I love Ichika's apology; the way she details the truths she learned recently (probably not just from her memories being triggered but I'd assume she had Ryuu clarify everything to her so she could really be thankful to Yami for making sure she'd be alright) then topping it off with the "I'm sorry." As a little sister who has misinterpreted things done by my older siblings, I really felt for Ichika. I can tell that Ichika is in pain, realizing how she wronged Yami by viewing him as a destroyer, but there's also so clearly a relief in knowing that the whole time, he had her best interests at heart. (Okay, my sisters never murdered our whole family clan, but you get the idea.) And Yami doesn't linger on it. He accepts her apology and even points out how he had help making sure Ichika was okay.

The flashback of Yami and Ryuuya parting ways... Ryuu always believed in Yami. Also, I love the panel of Yami with the torii gate and the rising sun behind him. The juxtaposition of the torii gate and rising sun - very Japanese and thus Hino symbols - with Yami being just about to leave Hino is like... Symbols of his homeland seeing him off essentially. MAN! I FELT SOMETHING THERE! Anyways, I know that Yami and Ryuu are looking forward to meeting up again now that they know it's possible.

Now back to when Yami has taken the demon soul pill. Yami is taking on his final form as the Demon-God of Destruction. I love the way Yami's form looks.

The splatter of blood from his wounds is replaced by Dark Magic spreading over his body. The facial markings draw one's attention to Yami's eyes and it makes me think of how on oni masks in noh theater(? I think I have that right), the upper brow and the cheeks are scrunched closer to the eye area to frame the eyes. I'm talking out of my ass here, sorry. His thoughts in the moment too are so juicy! Before, his protection of Ichika meant abandoning her. No more of that though; they're together again and Yami will keep it that way.

I love how his panel shows that Yami has incarnated into a true God of Destruction. But he's not destroying aimlessly. He's in control and he's directing his path of chaos towards Lucius's madness and will tear it apart to save everyone.

Yami and Ichika don't get to have a long heart-to-heart due to the present circumstances but Tabata gave them just long enough to breathe and reconcile. To me, it also keeps in line with the way the Yami family works. Yami Sukehiro is quick to act and react. He bears some heavy burdens in his life but he is not a man who wallows in pity or sorrow. His response to adversity is to take it in stride as best he can and make his way towards the future. He accepts Ichika's apology and the pill to awaken what has always been a part of him: the will to protect. Ichika is shaken from seeing her brother so helpless and pouring her heart out in what little time she had. And Yami did shield her at the end of chapter 374, but in the next chapters, she's locked into a fighting mindset. She says herself that she won't stand by any more; she intends to shoulder the responsibility of this battle and fight alongside her brother as an equal. The Yamis are resilient people who can take so much, and the burdens are made easier now that they can carry them together.

Speaking of together, the combo spell that Yami and Ichika have is called "Black Heavens." It's got layers! The Yami clan are connected to demons and devils through their Dark Magic and thus stand opposite of the heavens thematically speaking. The combo spell also builds off of Ichika's Black Star spell and Yami's Black Hole spell. The way the Dark Magic is the antithesis of a religious heaven, darkness is what makes up most of the spatial heavens is awesome. Also the fact that black holes form when stars die and collapse... Yami is the older (and thus closer to dying) sibling... I just needed to put those thoughts out there while still firmly on the topic of the Yami siblings.

Now onto the next chapters...

Chapters 375 and 376 have to be talked together because just like Nacht and Morgen as twins, and just like the Faust-Yami dramas, the two are connected! 375 is titled Strafe and 376 is Sühne. The English releases of the chapters clarify that the words mean "punishment" and "atonement" respectively (if there is any specific connotations to those words, they're lost on me and I would happily accept any clarifications). (Also note that the words are German; Faust and Germany just go hand-in-hand). I've already made a post about Nacht and how his character centers on the themes of punishment and atonement. To quickly summarize, Nacht's character is about continually punishing himself as his atonement for killing Morgen. (I do also point out how he avoids forgiveness as a way to resolve his guilt, but there isn't a chapter titled "Forgiveness" here, now is there?) So these chapters seem to be Tabata's finale for Nacht (and Morgen). (I do hope that a page of the next chapter does see Nacht and Morgen sharing some final words, because if Acier got to give her kids some kind of goodbye, then Morgen should get a chance to say something to Nacht as well. Please Tabata.)

Moving on from just the chapter titles! What actually happens in the two chapters?

Chapter 375 starts with Nacht getting a good look at Morgen and, like the fandom did chapters ago, clocking the devil that Morgen is in possession of: Lucifugus. The wretched memory of the day Nacht tried to summon Lucifugus is burned into his memory; of course he'd recognize the bastard.

Regarding Nacht's thought that Lucifugus is controlling Morgen's body... We know from Sister Lily's words/behaviors (a bit of Acier too at the very end for her) that the human beings who have been turned into Paladins are still conscious/aware/present as themselves. It's just that Lucius's brainwashing is forcing them to believe a certain way, spout that nonsense about "saving the world," and take the actions they are taking. Put simply: a fragment of their true selves exists within the false persona of the Paladin that Lucius forced on them. However, I'm certain that Nacht knows it is in fact Morgen in control but he's trying to tell himself otherwise.

I mean, looking back at chapter 374, Nacht's immediate reaction to seeing Paladin Morgen is to mentally call him Morgen! It's then here in chapter 375 where Nacht is saying that Morgen isn't in control.

Nacht is distressed. He's face-to-face with Morgen, whom he killed, and using the very same power that Nacht had tried to gain and caused Morgen's demise. It's double the shame and guilt on Nacht's conscious. And so he tells himself that it's Lucifugus, not really Morgen, in control. It's an act of desperation. Nacht is trying to convince himself that it's not Morgen's he's facing as a way to relieve himself of some of the stress/anguish that would come from this battle and defeating his opponent. Because if it's not really Morgen, then Nacht wouldn't have to feel any more guilt/grief about it, would he?

I think it's entirely in-character of Nacht. He's attempting to distance himself from the reality before him, similar to how he distanced his past failings from his own person by projecting his criticisms onto the Black Bulls. It never erased his feelings of self-loathing, but it was what Nacht did so he wouldn't just sit and wallow in misery. He pushed his self-hatred onto others and became the cold, critical vice captain of the Black Bulls to fulfill his mission of spying on Spade Kingdom. And now, instead of projection, he's straight up denying things. In this battle against Paladin Morgen, Nacht is trying to ignore the painful reality in order to spare his feelings and see the fight through.

But Nacht couldn't deny the truth for long.

Lucifugus wouldn't be saying these things to him. Who knows what Lucifugus would say to Nacht, if anything at all. Either way, it's Morgen speaking to Nacht. And it shakes Nacht to his core. Not the mention that what Morgen says would also drive the knife deeper into Nacht's heart. The brothers may not have been close while Morgen was alive, but Morgen still understands Nacht enough to call out his feelings of despair.

The way I'm reading it, Nacht falters in battle because he can no longer lie to himself. He's fighting Morgen. A twisted up version of his beloved younger brother, but it's Morgen nonetheless. In submitting to that reality, his feelings (guilt, sorrow, remorse) overwhelm Nacht and it gives Morgen the chance to gain the upper hand in their fight.

And like with Yami seeing Ichika as her younger self for a moment, Nacht's view of Morgen is from ten years back (you can tell by the fluffy robe having having grey shading while Morgen's Paladin robe is pure white and the details on the collar area). At least for one page, we know that Nacht sees Morgen not as the enemy Paladin, but as the kind and noble Magic Knight he used to be. (The present and Nacht's memories of Morgen overlapping and distracting him earlier on too is something I personally believe in just to make it all the more painful. But that's more headcanon and not analysis.)

Nacht laments how he thought he'd already cried all his tears before. But that can't be the case. Nacht's love for Morgen is an active and present feeling for Nacht. So long as Nacht loves Morgen is something alive in his heart, he will find himself crying over and over again for the loss of Morgen's life. That's the way it seems to be turning out for Nacht. Unless he completely closed his heart off to his affection for Morgen, his tears will never truly dry up. It's small, quick line in the chapter but it speaks so deeply to Nacht's feelings. In contrast to Yami who can take things in stride and move on, Nacht is someone who holds onto his suffering and lets it haunt him to the depths of his soul. Nacht and his thoughts focus on things that are gone and cannot be changed. While he does live in the present and makes things better for the future, Nacht has trapped himself with thoughts of a past that can't be undone. It's part of the tragedy that is Nacht's character.

(Real quick, we're going to put a pin in Morgen saying "Brother, let's start over again. Together!" Right before he attempts to blast the ever loving crap out of Nacht. Mixed messages much?)

I wanna bring back the title of chapter 375: Strafe (Punishment). Back in chapters 285 and 287 (coincidentally before and after Nacht's backstory in chapter 286), Nacht thinks to himself "I don't care if I die." Nacht nearly sacrificed himself three times during the battle. Devaluing his life over and over was Nacht's way of punishing himself for his past. And now Nacht is repeating that behavior as he tells himself that he'll defeat the Lucius clone and Morgen even if it kills him. Nacht showed himself some mercy when he stated his intent to live with the Bulls properly. However, he didnt actually stop seeing himself as an expendable sacrifice; in his eyes, his death is worth more than any life he could life. Which hurts to see as a Nacht fan! This time, though, Nacht isn't endangering himself as punishment but he still receives it. Morgen, the very person Nacht wronged so many years ago, is the one delivering the punishment. Physically and emotionally, Nacht's being destroyed. And, in my eyes, it could be that Nacht is okay with it. He didn't stop hating himself, he just stopped acting on that self-destructive feeling. He's accepting Morgen's attacks because Nacht's pain in the present can't be as bad as the pain Morgen felt as he died.

Thankfully, Yami comes in for the save. And when he gives Nacht another talking to, Yami says this:

Yami knows that Nacht didn't let go of the past. That he's been quietly keeping the pain in his heart. The way Yami validates the idea that Morgen's death is a sin on Nacht's part is fascinating. Looking at the big picture, it was more an unfortunate accident; Nacht did incite it by summoning Lucifugus but Morgen chose to destroy the relic with his own hands. Neither Nacht nor Morgen are to blame, they just took actions in line with who they are and it resulted in Morgen's sacrifice. Whether or not Yami wholeheartedly agrees with Nacht's view is a discussion for another time but here, in the moment, Yami leans into it. Yami speaks to Nacht based on those beliefs. From there, he drill it into Nacht's head that if he's going to hold onto what happened as his sin, then he has to use it as a way to push himself into the right course of action rather than let it stop him dead in his tracks. In chapter 376, Ichika also chimes in to get Nacht on his feet again. Her remark isn't only directed at herself; it resonates with Nacht too. Neither of them can leave Yami to deal with Morgen on his own. They don't have the luxury to stand idle and both of them are people that are above being victims of their pasts. Yami was there to protect them so they have to do the same.

Yami and Ichika's words together deliver a powerful message. “If you are going to carry a sin on your conscious, do something with it.” For Nacht (and anyone really), it's a mistake to acknowledge his faults and leave it at that. It doesn't do any good. To give meaning to his sin and the feelings that come with it, Nacht has to act upon them. He has to do what needs to be done to make up for the sin. That means killing Morgen again, not as a tragic accident but as an act of care and the means to free his spirit. It doesn't erase a thing but it makes things as right as they can be.

Quick break from Nacht and his feelings regarding Morgen to have a talk about Yami and his Morgen related feelings!

Yami has a moment to share words with Morgen. He makes it clear that his ire is directed at Lucius. In Yami's mind, there's no real blame on Morgen for his actions as a Paladin. He understands that Morgen wouldn't want so much death and destruction in the name of a new world. It's all Lucius's manipulations. And this view of Morgen again shows the contrast between Yami and Nacht. Nacht is stuck in the past and is seeing Morgen as his dear brother who he couldn't do anything for. Meanwhile, Yami's thoughts are in the present and he's seeing Morgen not as his friend but as an unfortunate puppet being controlled. Yami does acknowledge Morgen as the enemy but he's drawing a fine line between Paladin Morgen and the Morgen he knew.

Also, Yami's desire to see the memory of Morgen be untainted by his deeds as a Paladin is an interesting contrast to his usual feelings towards being looked down on. He's shrugs off most insults towards him (though he can admit when his feelings do get hurt) and is fine with the Black Bulls being considered the worst squad. But Morgen is different. Yami doesn't want to see Morgen become someone tainted by acts of cruelty, even if they aren't entirely his own choice. It says so much about Yami for him to want to preserve the integrity of Morgen's memory. He treasures his friendship with Morgen so deeply because Morgen was one of the first people to accept Yami and believe he could be a squad captain. Yami won't let anyone have any reason to think unfavorably of Morgen. He who saw the good in all should be seen as good by all. That is Yami's belief. I love it so much.

Back to focusing on Nacht!

We return to Nacht at the start of chapter 376: Sühne (Atonement). This chapter really is all about Nacht's final act of atonement for the sin he'd been punishing himself over for years.

Now before he re-enters the battle, Nacht has a moment of contemplation. The dream he describes is brief but it carries so much meaning. Nacht looks back and wishes he'd joined the Grey Deers as Morgen had always suggested he do. He really had always desired a closeness with Morgen but his fear of doing harm to his brother instead outweighed his love. His regret over not taking Morgen's hand sooner is evident and it again drives home the idea that Nacht's thoughts always return to the past to haunt him. And the line about Nacht and Yami fighting over Morgen's attention shatters my heart further because-!

Morgen probably would've chosen Nacht over Yami if he had the option. As much as Morgen and Yami made a good team, Morgen wanted to share that understanding and synergy with Nacht.

(Also, we are creating another pin for this moment.)

Both of the Fausts were jealous of the bond that Yami had their brother! Morgen and Nacht are more alike than either of the realize and it's yet another tragedy in their lives that they will never know that about each other! I JUST! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH! I can't be calm about this, guys! Morgen and Nacht keep reaching into my soul and drawing out more of my love and tears with how their dynamic continues to grow more heartbreaking!

(Deep breaths, Soda! Take deep, slow breaths now...)

Nacht thinks about how Morgen would've smiled at his and Yami's antics. Morgen is always smiling in Nacht's memories (except when he infiltrated the Fausts' devil ritual basement and tried to dissuade Nacht from summoning Lucifugus, but that was a special circumstance). Morgen's smile being so ever-present in Nacht (and Yami's) recollections of him goes to show that he was a beacon of positivity to both of them. Morgen was light, warmth, happiness.

But Nacht always wakes from that dream and he cries each time, mourning the loss of something that never was but could've been. But he refused to have any of that, having pushed Morgen away each time he asked Nacht to join him. Instead Nacht chose the path of devils and Forbidden Magic. He widened the chasm between himself and Morgen. His actions have led him to a world where he caused his brother's death and now will have to see him die again. In short, the first page of chapter 376 is about the ache caused by what Nacht wants in his dreams and what he has to face in reality.

We cut to Yami fighting Morgen for a bit which includes Morgen refuting Yami's statement that Lucius is a bastard. And we also see Morgen saying

(Adding another pin for that. We'll come back, promise. It's just that I want to divulge the very depths of my Morgen thoughts closer to the end [closer to Morgen's end really].)

I've already discussed how Ichika's words with Nacht help him with his mental/emotional breakthrough so I'll skip over that portion of chapter 376.

As I said at the start, the Faust and Yami family stories are connected. They parallel each other. The families are connected to demons or devils (demon soul pills for Yamis and devil binding ritual for Fausts). The elder sibling was seen as an ideal heir (Yami's strength was lauded by his father and Nacht's father said that Nacht "inherited the magic and the spirit" for dealing with devils). Despite not being what their parents wanted, the younger siblings do find an honorable place for themselves in society: Ichika becomes a Ryuzen Seven and Morgen was a Magic Knight. Both families experience a tragedy and the ideal heir from either family withdraws from their younger sibling, but those events happen in different orders between the two. The Yami clan was slaughtered and then Yami left Hino while taking the blame for the incident. In the Faust family, Nacht emotionally pulling away from Morgen and going down the path of devils is what led to the confrontation in the ritual room and everyone's deaths. Nacht and Yami carry the burden of those incidents. Nacht blames and punishes himself for his crime against Morgen. Yami takes the blame for a crime he didn't commit for Ichika's sake.

The families also contrast each other. Before the Yami clan was destroyed, Yami and Ichika were rather close (Yami urged Ichika to follow him when he left the house in that one flashback). But, as said earlier, Nacht and Morgen had grown apart before Morgen's death. Yami and Ichika look remarkably different but their magics are the same. Nacht and Morgen are identical twins but their magic attributes are different (but complementary). Yami protected Ichika in the past and now has a chance to fight alongside her. Nacht hurt Morgen in the past and has to fight against him in the present. The Yami family's resolution brings them closer together and heals them. The Faust family's resolution involves once against being separated and an unending pain for Nacht.

Talk about a well-constructed narrative and characters right there.

Now that I've noted the families' connections, it's time to return my focus to solely the Fausts.

Nacht's words to himself before he re-enters the fray. Again, his thoughts turn to his own death. But here he admits that dying would be the easy way out for him. He looked down on his own life, sought his death, because dying would be an escape from having to carry the guilt for the rest of his life. Then Nacht comes a realization: "Tears don't mark the end of sin." He realizes now that leaving his emotions to stew won't resolve the sin. What Nacht needs to do is to fully atone for what he did and that will give closure for what he's held onto for so long.

Nacht's four devil Unite form isn't as complex as his other forms but it doesn't bother me. It's probably for the better that Tabata didn't try to design something that incorporated elements from all four forms. Equus gets the most representation in the four-way Devil Unite with shields and the minimal armor around his shoulders. Otherwise, Nacht is simply cloaked in shadows and the combined might of his devils (and anti-magic, can't forget the anti-magic). I love the clear view of all the facial markings brought on by the devil unions (especially since the face covering that came with Equus form made it hard to tell where the markings were!). He's lowkey matching Yami and his facial markings. AND THE CROWN OF HORNS! MY GOODNESS! My friends know how much I get worked up over Nacht and his horns. I'm positively feral that Tabata has given me canonical eight-horned Nacht! KJADHGIUAEHTHAEIHT! (Coherent thoughts, Soda!) Also, I can also tell that the combined power has made the horns manifest larger than they usually would on Nacht. Him using all four devils at once is him fully embracing his dark past. Maybe he formed his contracts with Gimodelo and the others in the wrong mindset, but things have changed. He's using an "evil" power that killed Morgen for good, to save Morgen (through death but saving regardless).

Morgen, upon seeing Nacht unleash his full potential says something he said during Nacht's flashbacks of him: that Nacht has the greatest talent for magic. He even says "I knew it" and looks eager/fascinated by what he's seeing. Morgen really does have so much faith in his older brother. It'd be sweeter if the two of them weren't on a collision course for combat.

And what a feast for the eyes the battle is. It turns into chaos, but a beautiful

The combo spell from Nacht empowered Shadow Magic and the Yamis' Dark Magic is Walpurgis Night. It's of course tied to Nacht more than the Yamis, as that event is celebrated the night and day of Nacht and Morgen's birth dates. There is so much more to Nacht and Morgen's connection to that holiday since it's about warding evil spirits and protection of witchcraft. Like, Morgen first protected Nacht from Lucifugus and now Nacht has to protect the world from the evil Morgen is enacting on behalf of Lucius. That's all I can say about that though since that's basically all I know about Walpurgis Night. (Maybe in the future I can read through all of Wikipedia's cited sources and more to actually know the whole deal.)

Morgen puts up quite the fight against three opponents, two of whom have their physical and magical abilities at their peak at the moment. He doesn't know it but these are his final moments.

So let me talk about what I've observed and come to believe about Morgen.

Morgen Faust. A man who was good incarnate. The very picture of a good man. Who loved everyone and was loved by everyone. It was in his nature to help, save, and protect others. But his perfect image hid someone who probably felt very lonely.

Let's bring back those pins we gathered earlier. The first two pins (the starting over and Morgen admitting Yami was a better partner for Nacht) are very easily connected. Morgen's dream had been to be close with Nacht, to stand side-by-side with him. But they weren't close. Then Morgen saw Yami, a stranger from a foreign land, connect to Nacht with incredible ease. It probably hurt Morgen to see that, to see that Nacht found someone else to share his joys with. Morgen didn't hate Yami for being more compatible with Nacht and even befriended Yami himself. Morgen, at least in my personal headcanons, might've seen getting close to Yami as a way of better understanding Nacht. But even though Morgen could get along with someone who was Nacht's friend, he still couldn't directly close the gap between him and his brother. Again and again, Morgen suggested Nacht join the Magic Knights but was always brushed aside. And so Morgen was left feeling frustrated and probably a little lonely too because he couldn't have the one bond he wished for.

In reading the recent chapters and looking back on old chapters regarding him, I wonder if Morgen reached out to and accepted others so easily because of his missing connection with Nacht. As in, being pushed away by Nacht made Morgen want to ensure that no one else felt rejected or left alone. It's not compensating for something he lacked, but rather a reaction of "I was hurt in the one way so I will protect others from that same hurt." I believe Morgen genuinely cared for the people he knew in some capacity though not in the same way he valued Nacht. To apply some specific terminology, Morgen holds storgic love ("Because we have the specific bond of family, I love you") for Nacht and agapic love ("Because you are a human being, I love you") for everyone else. So Morgen loved everyone. And everyone loved him back. Though I doubt the adoration of strangers did anything to soothe the ache Morgen felt over Nacht's absence in his life. Either we've experienced it ourselves or seen it represented in media: Person A has an event and want Person B there to support them; the event comes around and A discovers B isn't there so even if they win or get praise from others, not having B there makes it hard to celebrate. That's what it probably was like for Morgen not having Nacht with him.

In the end, Morgen was unable to close the rift between himself and Nacht. And it was his dying regret. Revived a Paladin, Morgen voices his desire to start over with Nacht, to make right the mistake of not being close to him when he was originally alive.

The lack of a specific bond wasn't the only thing making Morgen lonely. I think Morgen also isolated himself in a way. He put himself under pressure to be strong by himself.

Let's bring back pin three, where Morgen says he'll clear the way for a new world. Looking at that alone, he's kinda just saying that he's following Lucius's orders to fight the Magic Knights for Lucius's victory. But then put this proclamation with what Morgen said back in chapter 368:

And also what he thinks to himself in chapter 376:

He talks about fighting and being the strongest on his own.

I also want to point to how he confronted his family about their work with devils. He came to the underground ritual chamber alone, and not even while wearing his uniform as a Grey Deer on top of that. Forbidden Magic was being practiced and Morgen could've (probably should've) brought along his squad to arrest his family and their followers. But he didn't. He faced his family's sins not as a Magic Knight but merely as Morgen Faust. In Morgen's eyes, it was his family's business and thus his personal responsibility as part of it to stop them.

So we have repeated instances of Morgen voicing thoughts and acting in ways where he sets himself up to be on his own. I can think of several factors for why Morgen might have this mindset. He was the black sheep of his family and overlooked by his parents so he didn't have their support. Nacht kept his distance too. His Light Magic also meant he was looked up to, believed to be strong like the first Wizard King, just for having the attribute he had. All of these together would feed into the belief that Morgen is separate from other, for better or worse. With that belief instilled, Morgen could then tell himself that he has to rely on his own strength, that others can rely on his power alone.

Yes, Morgen seeks partnership from Nacht and works alongside Yami but ultimately tells himself he has to do things by himself. And it's possible that Morgen wanted to be closer to Nacht because he thought that only his brother, his flesh and blood, could be depended on to lessen Morgen's burdens.

Morgen becomes a lot more tragic with all this in mind. He wasn't just a pure soul who died young. He wasn't just a good man lost to sacrifice. He was a lonely person who struggled between his desire for a bond with his brother and his belief that he had to stand alone. Worse yet, he keeps on ending up alone. Other members of the former Grey Deer like Yami and William get their own squads and become more associated with those groups. Morgen by himself as a legacy member of the Grey Deer. Ten years ago and in the present day, Morgen has no one with him in death while Nacht and Yami get to continue living and working as partners.

Like the words that chapter 376 has near it's end says, "The brighter the light, the deeper the shadow it casts." All of Morgen's good, the inspiration he brought and the hope he symbolizes for others, is so bright. But it makes the shadow of sorrow that might exist within Morgen all the more saddening to me.

This is just my own reading of Morgen so take what I've said with a grain of salt but... At least for me, Morgen has gained a whole new depth to his character thanks to these new chapters and how it made things from before clicking into place for me. I don't always like Tabata's handling of the story, but I do love what he's given me for me to draw the conclusions I have.

Well that's Morgen's finale. And now for my last statement on Nacht's part of the chapters.

Quick observation: to me, part of Nacht's horn set up from his four-way Unite, resembles Morgen's own. From Slotos and Plumede, Nacht gets horns that point outward and curse in a way that matches Lucifugus's horns.

You can best compare it here and even with Nacht partially obscured... I can see the similarity.

Moving on, or rather moving back to the line, "the brighter the light, the deeper the shadow it casts." It brings to mind that one quote "for the greater the love the greater the grief" by C.S. Lewis. It captures part of the core to Nacht's character. His love for Morgen was so deep that the grief of losing him transformed him as a person. Morgen's light of hope was so bright and it makes Nacht's shadow of despair dark.

But the true essence of who Nacht is comes from the last words in the chapter, his last words to Morgen.

"Goodbye, Morgen. I will shoulder this pain forever."

Nacht regretted his sin, punished himself for it, and atoned for it through killing Morgen a second time. This is his closure for the past. But even with that, Nacht cannot - will not - is let go of his sin or the pain it's caused him. It's a part of him for the rest of his life. He will find it in himself to live and maybe even find happiness, but the love and happiness he got from having Morgen around will never be replaced or filled in. Morgen is lost forever and so Nacht will mourn forever.

Part of me is sad to know that Nacht has committed himself to such feelings. But a greater part of me understands that it's a part of his character and loves him for it. He holds on, to his emotions or the people he cares for, so fiercely to the point of it hurting him. It's probably not a healthy mindset to have but Nacht's fictional so we can let it slide. I see it as tragic but also admirable.

To me, this is the real end of Nacht's arc. First in Spade, he had to learn that despite his faults, there were people who cared for him enough to save him. And now on Judgment Day, Nacht faces his sin head on and gives it a resolution, thus accepting all he's done and all of himself where he once projected his self-loathing onto others.

I'm left with bittersweet feelings from these chapters. There was beautiful art. I developed a deeper appreciation for characters who aren't my favorite characters. The characters that I do adore above all the rest got a spotlight on them. Morgen and Nacht both showed off incredible feats of power and their story got an ending. All good things. But I've also come to see a much sadder side to Morgen beyond being a black sheep. And Nacht's statement of eternal pain brings me to actual tears just thinking of it. I'm also upset that unlike Acier, Morgen isn't shown giving a goodbye to his family but I can still hope that chapter 377 spares page time for that. But even with these sad notes, I'm happy because I can better appreciate the Fausts with what I've been shown.

I love these chapters and the stories they tell/finish. I can't wait for the physical volume containing the chapters so I can return to them over and over again.

I hope that this post wasn't boring or too repetitive. I hope it made sense. I had to bounce around in the chapters' details and even called back to older chapters to get my points across. I just... had a lot to say. Several times while writing this, I ended up going back to add onto a topic I thought I'd finished (I'm looking at you Yami family and the Walpurgis Night spell).

I didn't have any plans for what I was going to say. I knew I was going to talk about how the Yami and Faust family dynamics closed out and the development of my perception of Morgen. But a lot of things just came to me as I wrote. And I think that worked for the best.

Thank you to whoever was able to power through this massively long post. Or even just read specific parts. Anyone looking at this post at all would mean something to me because while I mostly write this so my head and heart wouldn't explode from keeping it all inside, being heard by another is nice.

Thank you to any readers. Thank you, Tabata for writing Black Clover. Thank you, Yami and Ichika for your shared arc and contributions to this chapter. And thank you, Nacht and Morgen Faust for lighting my soul on fire.

[justatalkingface]

hello! i don't want this ask to come off as mean or targeted at all so please don't take it that way, but i'm confused as to why you're still a my hero fan you don't seem to like the characters or the way that the story is headed, is it just hate watching (uhh,, consuming of media??) at this point? again it's cool if that's what it is, but you talk about the characters like they aren't that in depth, not just bakugou but. the other villains and also izuku too.

you said something about izuku just being happy and content with losing one for all in the new leaks, (in that same post you weren't caught up so i sorta get why you could draw to that conclusion,) but also izuku's character is known for bottling up his emotions.

Izuku's is always happy (even when he's not), the only time we really see him fall apart is his vigilante arc. yes throughout the story he is constantly crying, but again, never in situations that he is really hurt emotionally you know? We get to see his journey and his progress, it's all that he's ever wanted in life, to have a quirk and save people, so when that gets stripped away, he's gonna be a bit gutted no? thats what i think at least. the story started with "this is how i become the worlds greatest hero" but i think it's always been more about what make someone a hero, why people should want to be heros, and their stories behind it. why else create flawed characters like bakugou and shigaraki if not to show all the side of the story?

gosh, sorry didn't mean to write a whole essay, my words tend to get away from me. I would love to see your views once you do catch up tho.

Hmm. Well, I talked about some of my motivations in... that Gaiden post, I think, but if I wasn't OK with ranting, I wouldn't have made this account just to rant.

Why am I still a fan? And as an extended of that, still posting?

Spite.

No, seriously.

Like. When I first started reading MHA, I was amazed. It just felt so... refreshing, so unique; I loved how determined and kind Izuku was, I loved how human All Might was, I liked the variety apparent in the world, how rich it felt, all the potential to it. And then, before my eyes, I watched it rot away, so slowly I didn't even realize what was happening until it was already dead.

I miss what MHA was, and so much of this is... mourning, almost, for what was and could have been.

Also, like I said, spite, because I watched this fester before my eyes and honestly I want to call out each and every wound and point of rot on it's corpse, along with some desire for validation in finding people who agree with me.

'but you talk about the characters like they aren't that in depth, not just bakugou but. the other villains and also izuku too.'

Not... quite sure what you mean here? I think you mean that I think they're done badly? (And I do, so you're not wrong there.)

Alright, see, so I don't disagree with your logic here: Izuku is a mess. Izuku is a mess held together by lack of time (or not being allowed) to process his shit storm of a life and duty. He's gotten everything taken away from him.

He should be pissed. He should be feel destroyed, depressed.

But the keyword here is 'should'. And that is the problem, in a word. Izuku 'should' be upset. He 'should' be depressed.

But historically, things that 'should' happen regarding Izuku just... don't happen. From his abilities, to his opinion on himself, to other people's views on him... what 'should' happen, logically, just doesn't.

Also... let me pose a question:

Do you think Hori is going to end MHA with Izuku withering away from depression? That his friends, one by one, are going to abandon him, because they only ever really liked his Quirk, that his mom is going to die of disappointment of her useless son, that All Might will get killed by a three year old wielding a balloon? And that he'll die early, and the only one to attend his funeral will be Aizawa, out of obligation, and his entire summery of Izuku's life, and the inscription on his grave, will be 'Problem Child'?

Of course not. (Even though I get the feeling that Hori kind of does want that.) If he tried it, the editors would literally kill him. Less dramatically, they just wouldn't print it and make him rewrite it, because they don't want to fuck up the MHA cash cow at the finish line.

I'm not caught up, yet, but for this? I don't have to be. Stories like shonens follow basic structures, like a sort of skeletal system; you may not know the fine details, but you do know some things will happen. And shonens? They always have happy endings. Always. Even if the MC dies, they'll do it willingly, for a Great Cause(TM), and almost certainly go with a smile, and satisfied with their life choices. If it was a manga like Berserk, it would have been up in the air, because Berserk doesn't follow the same narrative rules, and so how it ends and what not are far more open to question than something like this (ignoring that, yes, Berserk ended too).

Fundamentally, MHA will not end with Izuku miserable. It basiclly can't.

That's why I say he'll be content, because he doesn't really have the time to be miserable before MHA finishes up. At worst, he'll have a brief shown moment of sad, because he reaches acceptance, because he won't be allowed to feel otherwise.

(Yeah, this doesn't feel targeted or anything, don't worry about it. If you get something more specific to ask me or whatever, knock yourself out.)

[bitterbutblue]

october 1998

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im so stressedfor uni for literally no reason its so bad i think high school has traumatised me ..

we got some robin pov today!!!!! i hope ur all doing well <3 i will still be posting one shots like i used to just not as frequently now im afraid..

i was thinking of doing a tingyun x reader maybe soooo maybe thats next

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The rhythmic tapping of the feet, the squeak of a sole of the shoe against the dance floor, the quiet sounds of panting and gasping, eventually overtaken by silence as Robin drops to her knees. The cold wood against her knees, fan barely keeping her from overheating as she wipes the sweat off her forehead. Each move she practices feels wrong, slightly off. And she can't have that if she wants to audition next month for the company that's now opening up for new trainees. Her body feels right, yet the mirror shows her moves constrained and held back, stiff and rocky.

"Fuck!"

The sound of a fist hitting against the planks echoes through the dance studio, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes as she takes a shaky breath to calm herself down.

"Robin?"

The unfamiliar voice has her looking up quickly, quickly brushing away the once falling tears as she takes in the person who stands at the door.

"Topaz?"

The student council member just blinks.

"I- I haven't seen you since like, primary school. I heard you moved back." Topaz clears her throat "Can I come in?"

Robin nods, and Topaz opens the door to enter the somewhat stuffy dance studio. She takes in the sight of Robin, eyes red and knees bruised, kneeling on the ground in a sweat-drenched shirt and she sighs- unable to stop herself from worrying.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

The response came too quickly to her liking.

"Really?"

Robin nods again and Topaz doesn't press the matter any further.

"Student council, huh?"

"Same as it was when I was in primary."

"Except more responsibilities now, I assume."

Topaz lets out a chuckle that sounds slightly forced. Robin just watches from the ground as Topaz moves to open a window, a gust of wind and the slight ventilation had Robin releasing a breath she didn't realise she was holding in.

"Why are you still here? It's late." Topaz raises an eyebrow "Way past 6pm. Only school registered clubs are allowed to stay."

Robin clenches her jaw, looking away to stare at the wooden planks beneath her. Topaz doesn't sound like she wants to get Robin into trouble, more so worried. And the worry pisses Robin off for reasons she can't quite explain. But she can't show that.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. You haven't been here in a long time anyways." Topaz offers out a hand "Come on, let's go."

The hand stays held out for a bit, until Robin finally takes it. Topaz helps Robin up to her feet, who at this point can't even stand without feeling like her ankles are about to crumble into dust and her arms might just fall out of their sockets. So she stumbles slightly, Topaz quickly steadying her with a concerned look in her eyes and something else. Something Robin despises.

Pity.

"Are you okay?"

Robin nods, shooting her usual charming smile as she stands up straight, ignoring the jolt of pain up her back and hiding a wince behind a smile.

"All good."

The humid summer fades into a cool autumn breeze now, and walking in this weather is significantly nicer than walking in what feels like a never-ending sauna. She zips up the windbreaker, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she walks down the same path. The same path that would let her pass by the soccer field where the archery club would practice on Wednesdays but always made an exception for their golden star. Their child prodigy.

You.

She watches from afar as each arrow nails a target so small she can barely see the score. She watches you hit score after score that a normal person would find impressive but you frown at with a look of growing frustration. She loses time watching you shoot from afar, just standing there, unable to move.

The day your mother came to pick you up, she remembers distinctly watching the entire conversation unfold. The archery club whispered behind your back and she had to physically fight the urge to throw something at them.

What hurt her most was seeing you cry. The last time you cried, in her memory, was when you were six. You broke a gift Robin had given you and broke down to her about it, sobbing and begging for her forgiveness and Robin just remembers laughing. She remembers telling you it's okay and that it's just a gift but you still insisted that it was more than just that.

You were six.

Robin doesn't want to think about how many times you might've cried over her, over losing her for a reason you never figured out. The guilt still eats her alive- and it's only worsened after getting here. She wanted to avoid you, but you can't really avoid anyone in a small town where everyone knows everything about each other, like who failed their job interview, whose son got into university, whose company went bankrupt and had to move back to a country they long left behind. There was no avoiding you, which meant each day was confrontation with the reality of what she had done and who she had lost from her own immaturity.

So lost in her thoughts, she doesn't realise that you had stopped shooting. You had put your bow down, sitting on the ground with your knees pulled to your chest and head buried in your arms. You look so vulnerable in the moment, like a strayed dog who had come to terms with the fact that it would never find comfort. She wants to talk to you, she wants to approach you and ask you if you're okay but based on your last reaction- perhaps it wasn't the best idea.

So she walks away, forcing herself to move one foot at a time away from you. She walks, the image of you sitting alone on the field burned in her mind now.

How alone could one be?

"Robin! How have you been?"

She finds herself, once again, at the door of the convenience store your mom ran.

"Hello, Ms. Yukong." She bows slightly "I've been well."

"Adjusting alright?"

"Yep."

She shoots your mom a smile as she walks down the candy aisle, looking for a specific sweet in mind. Her eyes soften when she finally spots it, the Dream Candy. It was stocked up high, and she smiles at the thought that your mother had purposefully gotten more in stock in case you wanted to eat them. A sweet gesture, and she wonders if you've ever noticed it.

"Dream Candy?" Yukong smiles as Robin approaches the counter "I didn't realise you still liked these."

"I haven't had them since I left." She says quietly as she slides a bill across the counter. Yukong hums, quickly giving Robin some change.

"It's Y/n's favourite too, you know?"

I know.

"Really?"

"She loved them as a kid, same with puffergoat milk. You might've forgotten by now."

I didn't.

"Most likely." She laughs "We haven't spoken in a couple years."

She leaves the store with a feeling of emptiness she hasn't felt in a long time. A small packet of assorted sweets in one hand, steamed puffergoat milk in the other, she makes her way up to the same rooftop she ran into you two months ago- the same rooftop she had been too afraid to go back to in fear of seeing you.

The walk was an odd one, essentially going back up the path to school except she takes a left turn at a certain house and up a sketchy looking set of stairs before continuing down the path. Eventually, she will reach an old abandoned building with a large 'NO TRESAPSSING' sign that she has willingly decided to ignore. Pass the gates, through the door. It's dark now, all she has illuminating her are the streetlights and a flashlight keychain she has.

The view at the building is not anything breath taking. It's a cloudy night and even the moon has decided to avoid her, for better or for worse. She moves to sit at the edge of the building, feet dangling over with the threat of falling looming over her. It's this threat that makes her want to sit here, as a form of punishment of sorts. She twists open the cap, taking a small swig of the drink before letting out a soft sigh. It's not often she likes to be alone with her thoughts yet recently she has found herself unable to process anything- as if she was overloading. She wants to focus on her dancing but all she can think about is the expression on your face when she tried to talk to you. She wants to focus on the audition soon but all she can think about is the way you turn around to walk the other way if you ever see her walking towards your direction.

It hurts, but it's deserved. Perhaps this pain she feels is only half, a quarter, a tenth of whatever pain you felt when she decided to stop talking to you.

By the time she finishes the entire drink, it was completely dark out. The silence surrounding her should have freaked her out at least a little but she can't help but find it calming, she can't help but like the silence.

She looks down at the bag of sweets in her hand.

Maybe, just maybe.

"So I was telling her like, I can't keep doing this. I'm exhausted, I have barely any time to study and she still expects me to somehow maintain sixteen hours of archery a week alongside maintaining top grades."

You can't stop yourself from completely going off on Stelle. It was a dam long waiting to be broken and when she asked if you were okay it just broke. The two of you were walking to your locker to pick up your archery bag for practice, Stelle choosing to accompany you as she had nothing to do and she made the unfortunate choice to ask how you were doing.

"Talking to her is going to be useless, I'm not sure what else you can do."

You groan in frustration, leaning your head against the locker door as you've arrived.

"There is nothing I can do anyways, fucking hell." You grumble as you throw open the locker door.

You blink.

You did not remember buying a pack of your favourite candies.

"What-"

You pick up the pack, peeling off the sticky note on top. The handwriting was unrecognisable, no one you talked to aside from Dan Heng had handwriting this neat.

But this was not Dan Heng's handwriting.

Take care of yourself! It'll be okay :)

"What is that?"

You feel your heart beat just a bit faster as you reread the note, Stelle peeking over your shoulder.

"Secret admirer?" Stelle's eyes widened, and you can't stop the silly grin from forming on your face as you fold the note up and pocketed it. It feels ridiculous, you feel ridiculous. "Let me see the note!"

"No!"

"I wanna see if I can figure out the handwriting, come on!"

"Shut up-" You lightly pushed Stelle away, a fluttering feeling in your chest. The person behind the note didn't matter, but the fact that someone was looking out for you made you feel warm in ways you hadn't felt in a long time. Stelle rests her chin on your shoulder, standing behind you as she pouts and you feel your heart beating faster again.

"Come on, let me read it!"

"Oh, fuck off."

You look inside your locker for your other things before taking out the archery bag, Stelle stepping back as you heave the back onto your shoulder.

"How do you lug this thing around every day?"

"Honestly? I have no idea."

She follows you like a stray puppy, but all that you could focus on is the fact that she is next to you.

Nobody tells you how hard it would be to perform well when your crush / best friend has her eyes on you the entire time. She watches you like she's learning from you, eyes tracing your every move as you lift the bow up, drawing back, and firing.

"Don't keep staring at me, it's pressuring me."

"But you look cool."

You have to fight every fibre in your being to stop yourself from smiling.

"Shut up."

You fire again.

"9." Stelle announces through the binoculars

"Fuck."

"How is that bad?" Stelle's eyes widened "You are shooting at a target I can barely even see!"

You shake your head.

"Not good enough according to my mom." You sigh as you sit down next to her on the grass, pulling out the pack of sweets and opening it. Stelle grins, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that makes her look absolutely ridiculous.

"Soooo, can I see the note?"

"No." You hand her the pack as you chew on the gummy "It's fine. They'll probably reveal themselves at some point or another."

"You have to tell me who it is. I wanna guess it's... ooh, maybe it's Tingyun from business?"

"Tingyun? I've barely spoken to her."

"But she's always looking at you."

You roll your eyes.

Again, it really doesn't matter whoever it is. Because the person you wanted most is sitting right next to you, barely even realising you're looking at her with the softest gaze as she rambles on about why she thinks it's Tingyun (it most definitely is not, and you are willing to bet on that).

"I'm surprised they got my favourite candy right." You mumble as you toss one up into the air, catching it with your mouth. Stelle does the same, copying you except she doesn't actually catch it and just wasted one of your precious sweets- sacrificing it to the ants on the field.

"You eat that shit all the time in class, anyone could've guessed." Stelle takes another one from you gratefully

"Whatever."

It's rare for Stelle to stay after school, she normally works part time jobs but every time she does get to stay she spends it with you. And you're grateful that she has the time to spend with you today. There's nobody else you'd rather be sharing sweets with as you watch the sunset together.

As Robin walks down the same path, she notices the smile on your face from afar. It's bright, and it's warm. You look happy, and that's all that she can really care about for now- even if it hurts to see you smiling like that with someone else.

[crystalsnow95z]

I'm unhappy with my current drafts so I'm just gonna write just whatever comes to mind. No matter how it ends up, I'm gonna post it. Forgive me if it's not good. Some days, you just have to write just for the enjoyment and not care about results.

As Jin is returning soon he's the target of my story

Warning: emeto, fever.

Sickie: Jin with a bit of Yoongi. (Because my mind said so)

Caregivers: ot7

Jin presses his forehead against Yoongi's shoulder, trying to shield his eyes from the light that caused pain to ripple across his aching head.

"What's wrong Hyungie? Your breathing is off.." Yoongi speaks softly to him, running his hand through his hair. Yoongi couldn't recall Jin ever getting sick from flying. Seokjin is usually the one caring for the younger members, him included.

"All the flashing lights at the airport gave me a headache that's all.. I'll be okay." Jin picks up his head to talk to Yoongi, but Yoongi pushes him back down when he sees a flash of pain in Seokjins eyes.

"I got some medicine to help with the pain, just rest now. Okay? Let me take care of you this time Hyungie" Yoongi digs through his carry on for some pain relievers and an eye mask frowning when he hears only a single pill rattling. Sh*t.. will this be enough to help? I thought I had more.

"This should help at least a little..it's only 200mgs though.." Yoongi speaks softly, not wanting to risk making his hyung feel worse. "I'm sorry..I'm usually better prepared for travel.."

"No, no its okay. Thank you..this will be enough to help. Its not that bad really..I'll just sleep it off." Jin swallows the small pill, drinking the bit of water he had left in his bottle, covering his eyes up, leaning his head back against Yoongi.

Yoongi tries to gently massage Jin's temple to help ease the pain, relaxing when he hears the older’s breathing slow as he falls asleep. "I hope you feel better soon.." he whispers, brushing Jin's hair behind his ear when he sees it tickling Jin's ear, making him twitch in his sleep.

"What's wrong with Seokjinnie-hyung?" Namjoon whispers when he sees Yoongi's worried expression, taking out his headphones.

"Hyungie isn't feeling well, he said he just had a headache, but it sounds like he was suppressing coughs while we were going through the airport.." Yoongi whispers underneath his breath, Namjoon having to read his lips and lean forward to understand him.

"I'll get some medicine for him.." Namjoon promises, knowing Yoongi wouldn't want to risk waking up Jin by trying to flag down a staff member.

"That'd be great, thanks Namjoon-ah.. i gave him what i had, but i don't think its enough..Namjoon... could you ah..get me some water too?" Yoongi asks in a small voice.

"Are you feeling sick too?" Namjoon furrows his brow with worry when he sees that Yoongi's cheeks lacked color.

"I'm fine. I just took the medicine for motion sickness a little too late. It'll pass in a bit.. Don't worry." Yoongi gives Namjoon a reassuring smile, ignoring the fluttering in his stomach. There's no focus point in the sky like in a car to help.. maybe I'll try to sleep too..

"Tell me if you still feel sick an hour after landing okay hyung?" Namjoon orders gently. "Just because Seokjinnie-hyung is feeling sick doesn't mean how you feel isn’t just as important.."

"I will, Joon-ah.. thank you.." Yoongi leans his head against Jin's closing his eyes, finding comfort in the familiar scent of Jin's shampoo filling his nostrils. It's a short flight.. just two and a half hours.. when I wake up, we'll be landing.. I'll feel better then..

"Hyung.." Yoongi calls to Jin, who was still asleep on his shoulder. "We landed. You need to wake up now.. Hyung.." he gently shakes his shoulder to try to jostle him awake.

"Mmmn? What?" Jin blinks his eyes slowly, trying to process what the oldest rapper was saying to him, removing the blind fold. "Yoongi..?"

"Hyungie we landed. It's time to get off the plane.." Yoongi repeats himself patiently, waiting for recognition to light up in Jin's eyes.

"Ah..right.. the award show.." Jin sits upright, wincing at the tension in his neck. "I slept in that position too long.."

"I'll see what I can do about it while we're in the car. I'm sorry, me sleeping against your head probably made it worse.." Yoongi gently rubs the back of Jin's neck, feeling the tension that limited Jin's movement.

"Yoongi please don't.. that hurts.." Jin pushes Yoongi's hands away, wincing at his touch."I'll ask for a heat pack.."

"I'm sorry Hyungie. I'm sorry.." Yoongi frowns, his eyes dilating with worry, his stomach knotting with guilt.. "You might need to make an appointment to see a chiropractor."

"Don't worry so much Yoongi-yah. You just wanted to help and i appreciate it, but it's okay. it's not that bad, but I'll talk to staff if it'll make you feel better." Jin smiles through the pain, putting a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. "Let's get off this plane. I'm gonna take a shower and nap until we need to work."

"Alright Hyung, here.. you can wear my hat. It'll help block the camera lights." Yoongi unsnaps his hat from his carry on bag, placing it on Jin's head and snapping it to fit him. "I'll lead you. Just keep your head down."

Jin nods, taking Yoongi's elbow. "Ready."

Yoongi leads Jin off the plane, moving quickly to get past the mob of photographers, reporters and fans who filled the airport, all screaming for them to look in their direction.

Jimin tries to ask them to move so they can have a path, making hand motions to clear the way, Taehyung trying to shush the crowd, but it was in vain.

"Not so fast..I can't keep the pace.." Jin tries to pull away from Yoongi, but Yoongi grabs onto his arm, nearly tripping over their security guard when he quickly stepped in front of him to push a girl's arm away from grabbing onto Yoongi.

"I'm sorry Hyung..but you'll get trampled if we don't keep going this speed.. i can see the car. Please bear with it a little longer." Yoongi couldn't tell if Jin heard him over the chaos, but Jin didn't try to pull away. Namjoon went on the other side of Jin, Jungkook walking behind him, keeping a hand on Jin's shoulder.

"I..I'm going to be sick.." Jin swayed, swallowing hard refusing to let himself, the only thing keeping him on his feet is Yoongi and Namjoon holding him in a tight grip.His stomach churned his body reaching its limits. Theres so many flashes..it's making me dizzy..and the screams..my head is splitting..

Yoongi gets in the car first, pulling Jin in with him. Namjoon and Jungkook follow right behind, Hoseok pulling the door shut behind him.

"Hyung are you okay?" Yoongi asks speaking softly, rubbing his hand across his shoulder. "We're out of the crowd now. It's okay.." Yoongi tries to comfort Jin when he realizes he's shaking.

Jin shakes his head, afraid to open his mouth to speak. He places his hand over his face,his muscles tightened around his abdomen, pushing up thick bile into his throat. No..not now..please..

Namjoon acts quickly when he notices the color completely drain from Jin's face, knowing whats coming before Jin even clamped his hand over his mouth. "Sh*t, Fu*k.." he curses, reaching forward to ruffle through the center console, finding a plastic bag.

Jin tried to hold it back while Namjoon searched for something, swallowing down the bile, but it ended coming right back up with more force. He felt the warm sick fill his hand only upsetting his stomach even more.

Namjoon quickly opens the plastic bag for Jin, holding it underneath him. Yoongi looks for napkins, using the water from his carry on to wet it, taking Jins hand to clean it.

"I-im..I'm sorr..sorry.." Jin whimpers in between heaves, throwing up into the bag Namjoon held open as wide as possible.

"Hyung no, don't be sorry. Things happen..you can't help being sick. It's okay." Yoongi wets another napkin, swallowing the spit that pooled in his mouth. I can handle this. It's no big deal.. I can just wash my hands later..I can't get sick too..hyungie needs help..

Yoongi quickly tosses the soiled napkin in the bag in-between heaves, checking Jin's hand once more to be sure he got it all before taking his hand in his, rubbing his knuckles. His heart clenched when he saw Jin's eyes pooling with tears as another mouthful pushes up.

Hoseok buried his face into Jungkooks shoulder, his stomach churning sympathetically at the sound of Jin.

"Hang on, I'll help.. Hobi-hyung just wait.."Jungkook ruffles through his pocket, finding his headphones and sticking them in Hoseoks ears, turning on music to try to help. The distraction of helping Hoseok helped him hold back his emotions.

Namjoon tried to keep Jin's mind distracted so he didn't notice the others around him, talking to him gently to try to keep the focus on him and not the fact Yoongi had lost the color to his face, Hoseok was fighting the urge to Vomit from the sound of him and the teary eyed Kook who couldn't stand seeing his brothers like this.

"You'll feel better once it's all out.. it's okay.. most of us have gotten airsick before..it's no big deal..just focus on breathing.. it's okay..it's okay.."

Jin let out another few mouthfuls of half digested food, his body trembling with effort, his energy draining. His muscles burned, pushing up less each time until nothing came but thick saliva.

"I..i..m..done now.." Jin speaks in a hoarse whisper, leaning against Yoongi, trying to catch his breath again. "I'm..I'm okay now.."

"Do you think you can drink some water?" Namjoon asks softly, his hands shaking as he ties up the bag, staff grabbing to take it from him. He's still really pale and his breathing is really rough.. I hope we can get to the hotel without any issues..we had to switch hotels twice when we were in the Phillipines..

"Namjoon-ah..calm down..it's okay..I'm feeling better than I look..really.." Jin coughs in between his sentences, ruining the comfort he was trying to give his anxious leader. Jin takes a drink of the water, hoping that would help soothe his nerves.

Namjoon pushes Jin's bangs out of his face, checking to see if he felt warm to the touch, relaxing when he hardly feels warmer than his own forehead. "Try to rest until it's time to get out hyungie.."

Jin nods, getting comfortable on Yoongi's shoulder, only taking a few minutes for exhaustion to hit.

"Hyungie.. the alarm is going off. Are you awake?" Taehyung calls softly to Jin from his bed in the hotel room they shared.

"I am now..."Jin yawns, rolling over to face Taehyung, closing his eyes when the bright light from the window hits his face, making him painfully aware of the pounding headache he had didn't go away even after napping and a couple pain relievers. "What time is it..?"

"It's four-thirty, we need to be ready in an hour to go to the show..I'm sorry to wake you.. I wanted to give you time to get ready.." Taehyung apologizes with a bow,feeling guilty to wake up Jin, his stomach knotting.

He quickly runs to close the blinds when he notices it is bothering his older brother. "Sorry. I didn't want to turn on the light..the bedside lamp is broken.."

"It's okay Vuu, don't apologize. You did the right thing. I'd hate to make staff have to work on dirty hair" Jin drags himself out of bed, trying to keep himself from shaking in front of Taehyung. "I'm going to shower. Could you choose me and an outfit?"

"Of course Hyung." Taehyung goes to Jin's suitcase to find something comfortable. Jinnie-hyung still looks pale.. I'll have to tell Namjoon..

Jin goes into the bathroom, taking a few shaky breaths. Why do I feel worse after sleeping? My head still hurts just as much as before and my muscles still burn.. I need to pull myself together..Namjoon needs me to be there for him. He gets so nervous at events like this..

He slowly strips out of his clothes, turning on the shower, sitting in the tub, letting the water cascade down his back, hoping the warmth could do something for the pain.

Jin is awake now, but I don't think he's feeling any better.. It's too early for him to take another dose of pain pills, though..

Taehyung makes a chat with the other members excluding Jin.

Medical staff hasn't landed, the other flight got delayed.. they won't be here until tomorrow. Staff is looking for a local doctor that will come see him. If he gets any worse tell me. I'll get staff to take him to the hospital.

Namjoon texts. He had already wanted to find him help as soon as they landed, but finding a doctor that makes house calls last minute when it wasn't an emergency wasn't working in his favor.

Taehyung felt his heart fluttering with worry when he hears Jin coughing hard in the bathroom, rushing to check on him. "Are you throwing up hyung..?"

"No, no I'm okay..my throat is just sore from getting sick like that earlier." Jin reassures Taehyung, trying to clear his throat.

"I'll make you some tea Hyung." Taehyung places the clothes he chose for Jin on the counter, going to the keurig and placing a green tea pod inside.

Taehyung returns to the bathroom letting the tea brew. "Hyung do you want me to wash your hair? Maybe a scalp massage will help your headache."

"Alright.. but you aren't coming in here." Jin wets his hair once more before turning off the showerhead, the water running in the bath, hitting his feet.

Taehyung opens the curtains, taking the shampoo and creating a lather, massaging it gently into Jin's scalp. "I'm not being too rough am i?"

"No..it feels nice.." Jin hums, closing his eyes when Taehyung washes his bangs, the gentle circles ebbing a bit of the pain away to make it more tolerable.

Taehyung feels his shoulders relax when he hears Jin's soft sigh, giving him a sign that he was doing something to help ease the pain that plagued his eldest hyung. "Does your stomach still hurt hyung?"

"It hurts, but like..don't feel like I'm going to throw up, but my sides burn when i take a deep breath..it's sore.." Jin tells him earnestly.

"Hang on, hyung.." Taehyung goes to the kitchen, getting the ice bucket. He fills it with water halfway, using it to get the soap out of Jin's hair without having to shove his head under the sink or stand in the shower. "Keep your eyes closed, please hyung..." Taehyung keeps one hand on Jins forehead, making a barrier to keep the soap from running down into Jins eyes.

Jin obeys, pawing at his sore stomach, trying to rub the pain away. "Thank you Tete.." Jin says with a gentle smile when Taehyung finishes up with his hair, holding back a cough. "You should focus on getting ready yourself, I can wash up myself from here. I'm feeling much better now.."

"Okay hyung..I'll leave the door cracked..call for me if you need anything." Taehyung leaves, looking back at Jin before Jin pulled the curtain shut to turn back on the shower.

Washing him perked him up a bit, but he's got a cough now.. I hope he'll be okay to do the interview and performance..

Taehyung types his worries.

His throat is probably just sore from puking earlier, but I asked staff to get some medicine just in case.

Hoseok texts back, followed by Namjoon.

I'll do what I can to keep the questions off of him during the interview, and if he's not feeling well enough to perform, we can always have him sit it out.

Namjoon texts back,Taehyung feeling the tension in his shoulders loosen. The hyungs have it handled. I just need to do all i can for the team..

Okay. I made him some tea to see if that will help with his throat..

Taehyung quickly texts back, putting his phone down and returning to the kitchen to add a bit of sugar to try to combat the bitter of the tea.

Jin finishes up in the bath, wrapping a towel around his body, his knees folding underneath him when he tries to stand, dizziness making him crash onto the tile.

Taehyung runs to check on him when he hears the sound, checking his ankles for any sign of injury before getting him to his feet, sitting him up on the toliet to get him dry, rubbing a towel across his dripping body.

"Are you okay, hyung?" Taehyung says, voice a pitch higher with worry, checking Jin's legs for injuries, frowning when he sees a bruise forming on his knee."What happened?"

"I'm okay Vuu, I just fell. It's just a little bruise. It's no big deal." Jin tells Taehyung, trying to get his vision to focus on him. What's going on with me? My body feels so weak.. I need to pull myself together..

"Hyung please don't lie to me.. Are you sure you can do this? You don't look well.." Taehyung speaks softly, trying to dry Jin's hair with the towel, his his heart tightening when Jin coughs when he tries to answer.

Taehyung rubs his back, trying to ease the pain, sighing with relief when the cough stops as quickly as it begins, but that isn't good enough for him."Hyung, I don't think you should perform.. Please, consider sitting it out? At least the dancing?" He asks gently.

"I'm okay Taehyungie, I just caught a cold.. I'll take some medicine and go to bed early tonight." Jin reassures Taehyung sounding more confident than he really felt. Army worked hard to help us win this award..the least I can do is perform a few songs for them...

Jin coughs into his sleeve, trying to silence it to stop himself from interrupting Namjoon, who was politely answering the interviewers question. He feels a hand touch his thigh, looking at the owner of it, meeting the eyes of Jungkook.

The mankae offers him a water bottle, him taking it gratefully. 'Thank you..' Jin mouths, trying to wash down the foul taste of phlegm that his body kept coughing up.

Why do I feel worse after taking medicine? This isn't good..I'm performing soon..

"One last question for the group. This is the first time you'll be performing Destiny live. Army is so excited. Does it have choreography?" The interviewer asks, Jin's heart dropping into his stomach when the realization hits him.

That's right.. we've been practicing this song for a month now to show Army.. I can't let the sleepless nights we spent go to waste.. why do I have to have a center position..?

"It's okay Hyung.. you got this.." Jimin leans in to Jin, pressing his forehead against his cheek to comfort him, quickly pulling back when he feels the warmth. "Hyung-"

Jimin gets cut off by Namjoon’s voice. "This has been..."

"BTS.." Everyone speaks after him, ending the interview, the boys being rushed by staff to quickly get ready.

Jimin goes to go to Namjoon to tell him about Jin's declining health, but Jin takes his wrist. "Jimin-ah please, don't tell him.. I can do this.. I'll tell him after we perform Destiny. We worked so hard on it.. I won't be able to sleep tonight if I ruin this for everyone. It's only been twenty minutes since I took the medicine, it'll kick in by the time we perform. I'll ge okay.."

Jimin wanted to argue against him, but the determination and desperation in Jin's eyes made him give in. This means so much to him.. he'll regret it if he doesn't try and the guilt will only make him feel worse..

"Please Jimin?" Jin asks once more, knowing Jimin was close to giving in.

"Hyung please take it easy when you perform.. Army will understand if you don't give it your all..okay?" Jimin touches his shoulder, pleading in a whisper when he sees staff approaching them, giving them their mics.

"Five minutes until you perform."

Jin could feel the sweat already pooling at the back of his neck, covering up his mic to cough. He could hear Army starting the fanchant, waiting for the lights to come on.

Please..please I just need to last four minutes, please..

Jin pleaded with his body, his stomach twisting and churning with every movement, his head pounding at the sound of the screams he would normally cherish.

The lights turned on, making the screams louder as soon as Jungkook started to sing. Jin forced himself to move, his knee throbbing when he dropped to the ground to the beat, stumbling when he tried to quickly rise back to his feet.

Guilt churned his already sour stomach, bile trying to rise up his throat, but he continued to perform, ignoring his body's plea for him to stop. He moves to the next position, singing his part without letting the audience know how poorly he is feeling, quickly moving to side to cough, his throat unable to handle the notes he usually hit with ease.

Namjoon joins him, quickly getting him water before Hoseok finishes his verse. "Hyung you need to take it easy. I can see your hands trembling.. Are you okay?"

Jin doesn't answer him, taking the water from his hand and taking a drink,but the water his too heavy on his stomach, his body instantly pushing it up, placing his hand over his mouth, Vomit soaking his palm.

He could hear the crowd in front of him screaming in worry for him, his legs turning to jello, Namjoon quickly catching him before he hits the floor.

"Sh*t, Hyung.. we need to get you back stage, hang on.."

Namjoon flags staff over, the security guards leading him down the steps. Namjoon clenches his teeth, forcing himself not to follow Jin, quickly going back to the stage, nearly running into Jimin . It'll be too hard on the team for two of us to be missing. I'll check on him the moment we get off stage..

The members already knew what happened without Namjoon telling him, Jimin's voice trembling when he sings knowing he could've prevented it if he just told on Jin in the final place.

Jin is lead to the nearest waste bin, Mr. Lee holding him up as he throws up a thick liquid, his body trembling, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I..i..ruined it.." He sobs, another mouthful of sick coming in-between reaches. "I let..everyone d..do.." his words get cut off by his stomach pushing up more hot sick, splashing into the bin.

"Don't speak. No one will blame you for being sick. Just focus on breathing right now.. okay Seokjin-sii?" Mr. Lee rubs his hand across Jin's back, feeling his body trembling with effort. "It's okay.. you need to calm down.."

Jin tries to take deep breaths, but each breath he tries to take only causes him to cough, his lungs screaming for air. "I...i..can't.."

After a few minutes he could hear the sound of his members rushing to him, Namjoon taking over for Mr.Lee. "hyung you can be so stubborn.. you should've told me you still felt like this.."

Jin felt Namjoon's arms wrap around his chest, supporting his weight as he dry heaves pushing up nothing but strings of spit "I'm..I'm sorry.." he answers in a raspy whisper, leaning into Namjoon, waiting for the waves of nausea to end.

"Hyung you dont have anything left in your stomach.. please try to breathe..." Namjoon adds softly, feeling himself sweat from contact, using his sleeve to wipe the sweat from Jin's face. "You're burning up.."

Jon focuses on breathing, the dry heaves dying down to coughs, pushing the can away from him, leaning into Namjoon. Namjoon gently lowers him gently moving him to be able to rest his head on his lap.

Yoongi wets a towel with a bottle of water, gently wiping the sweat from Jin's face, his heart tightening to see Jin's pained expression up close, his eyes tightly shut when he breathes in from his strained muscles.

"I'm sorry..I just wanted to do one.. song and I thought I had it.. under control.." Jins voice comes out soft, still trying to catch his breath, covering his face with his arm.

"Don't worry about that right now.. just focus on your breathing right now? Do you think you can drink some water?" Namjoon asks softly.

Jim shakes his head, his stomach churning at the thought of putting anything in his system. "Maybe...I should go to the hospital to get an IV.." he sits up slowly, holding his sore middle.

Yoongi places a hand on Jin's back to help him. "Hyung we weren't going to give you a choice on that one.. you really scared us Hyung.. especially Jiminie."

Jin looks around, his chest tightening when he sees Jimins eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "Im sorry I should've tried harder to talk you into not performing.."

"Jimin-ah..come here." Seokjin pulls Jimin into a hug. "I shouldn't asked you to be quiet.. it's not your fault okay? It's just mine for letting my emotions get the better of..." he coughs, trying to cover it with his fist.

"The car is ready." Staff tells them.

"Thank you.." Namjoon says, gently leading Jin to his feet, feeling him tremble with effort. He's trying to act tough, but he's still so pale and shaky. "Let's get you taken care of.. no more hiding how you feel okay hyung?"

[mad-salesman]

A quick new year's story to try breaking the writer's block.

AO3 link: Musings, Chapter 05: New Year, New Narinder?

1st day of spring, year 98

Ayna left the temple at first light, finding the new year's first dawn cool, but promising warmth and new growth. They set their sights on the lone cabin across the farmland and smiled. The first day of spring seemed like a perfect time to annoy a certain cat at the earliest opportunity.

As they reached the near edge of Majul's farms, a rhythmic thunk, thunk, thunk, caught their ear. It seemed to be coming from behind Narinder's house. Squinting, Ayna crouched a bit and moved as quietly as they were able toward the cabin's front door. The lamb was just congratulating themself on their improved sneaking, when a glance through the front window revealed Aym and Baal staring out at them. Ayna froze in place and raised a single finger in front of their mouth, eliciting a smirk and raised eyebrow from Baal, and an obvious eye roll from Aym.

Moving around the cabin, the lamb eased their head past the corner to see the back yard. Their least favorite cat had worked hard to update the back yard. Narinder stood in a sand pit eight long strides across, ringed by eight posts, each about a hand's span thick and wrapped with rope. Training sword in hand, he moved randomly from one post to another, striking it once, then practicing a block or parry before stepping across to another post. Every ten strikes or so, he would spit, "Faster!", in a voice deeper and more gravelly than his own, then pick up the pace for the next set of targets. Soon, he was flying back and forth across the central space, landing only long enough to strike before darting away again.

Narinder was halfway through a set of strikes when he chose to let Ayna know they'd been spotted. He jumped away, struck the furthest post from their hiding spot. He flew to the left side from the lamb's point of view, but instead of striking, he pivoted as soon as his paw hit the dirt and lunged toward them, wooden sword held high for a hard swing upon landing. His face was locked into a murderous smile. Ayna jumped sideways to get out of range and summoned the Red Crown to their hand, only to hear the damn cat start cackling as his paws touched earth.

Their was a short standoff while the god of death glared at their predecessor before releasing the Crown. "Really? Just couldn't help yourself, huh?"

"Oh hells, no," the cat sighed as he brought his laughter under control. "I am sorry, you just always look so surprised when you get caught."

Ayna glared at him. "Well, I keep thinking I'm getting better. But you just continue picking increasingly violent ways to tell me I'm wrong."

"You are getting better," Narinder said as he fell back into his typical glower, "but you're a long way from having enough practice to sneak up on me. Not that the hooves help." He glanced pointedly down, and Ayna followed his gaze to see that their right hoof had kicked a small stone and rolled it over. The cat recaptured their attention. "Anyway, I was hoping you'd wander over today."

That brought Ayna's head snapping back up, and the lamb gave him their most suspicious look. "You do know how to make a sheep feel threatened. Why were you hoping I'd show up?"

Narinder bared all his fangs in the quick grin that elicited, but it was gone a second later. He waved his hand to the circle of posts. "You have been asking me to teach you to fight properly for two seasons now. Consider me willing to teach, if you are willing to learn." All three eyes bored into their own. "Are you?"

***

"Enough. Time for lunch." Ayna staggered to a halt in the center of the training ring as fast as they could process Narinder's words. He'd been calling out a mix of compass directions and commands for four hours, giving them just a few breaks for a quick drink. Every compass direction meant one of the posts they had to run to and strike, and any command that followed was what to do afterwards. Sometimes he had them return to the middle and spin, checking all directions for threats. Other times, they'd have to practice blocking, reacting to whatever direction the cat called out at the last second. Water breaks had been a blessing and a curse, since every time they were allowed to drink, they also had to listen to him explain a new exercise he would be adding.

The lamb found a seat on the sand. "Hooray."

Narinder gave them a wide grin. "That was, without a doubt, the single most dejected 'hooray' I have ever heard." Ayna decided laying was better than sitting. "It's all you're getting. So what's for lunch?"

"Roast goat," Aym answered. Ayna raised their head to glare at him. "Number one, I'm very glad your voice recovered after resurrection, or that would have been even creepier. Number two, you're taking lessons in comedy from the absolute worst teacher." The young cat winked as he placed a tray with tea, bread, and preserved fruits next to them. "What makes you think he's taught me anything?"

"Indeed, I was never known as The One Who Laughs. I expect it to have been at least three millennia since my last moment of joy." Narinder's reply was so deadpan and miserable that Ayna felt a tug at their heartstrings, before remembering his greeting from a few hours ago. Aym walked back to the cabin laughing as the lamb made a series of the rudest gestures they could manage in the elder cat's general direction.

Several quiet minutes passed as the two deities ate. Ayna broke the silence as they neared the end of their food. "I admit, I was expecting your training to involve a lot more beating the hell out of me." He gave them the barest hint of a smile. "Not that the thought did not occur to me, but I am supposed to be teaching you, not punishing you."

"Fair enough. Hey, question. Who were you imitating this morning?" Narinder raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "When I first got here, you'd say 'faster' every time you sped up. It wasn't your voice, too low and too growly. So I figured you were imitating someone else."

The cat's face fell to something gloomier than usual. "The one who taught me to fight. Chorel was his name. I did not realize I was using his voice." He stood up suddenly, and started carrying his plate and cup back to the cabin, the Green Crown floating after him to catch up. "We are done for today."

Ayna watched him go, knowing better than to try combating his sudden mood swing. They'd take the day as the new year miracle it had been. Narinder had actually revealed a whole two sentences about his past, and he'd spent the morning being... nice?

"Maybe it's just the season."

[velvetvexations]

I think half of some of the issues some trans fems have with trans masc stuff is that some people find being seen as a woman to be traumatising and would rather deal with the trauma and danger of being seen as a failed man or faggot, like it's not appropriating anything it's that women find it traumatising to be seen as men and men find it traumatising to be seen as women like it's not appropriating for trans fems to find experiencing standard misogynistic sexism as affirming (which some women have found, even if they also find it upsetting or find upsetting at a later date)

a lot of it is very unhealthy though and directly leads to things like "yeah I'll believe I have power I don't have because it makes me feel more secure in my masculinity"

Velvet I hate to say it but yes they do in fact think that when men are sexually assaulted or beaten for any reason they are taking on a woman’s role in society. I’ve tried to pick apart how that narrative is just. Horrendously anti-feminist in my eyes - that’s what you think a woman’s role is/must be? holy fuck - but uh. Yeah. Yes.

TRFs will be like "my status as a woman objectively exists because Woman is an underclass in patriarchal society that I am classified under" and then you're like "so we should get minimize those classifications and drain them of meaning right" and then they suddenly go real quiet because they literally don't know how to conceptualize themselves except as someone who experiences misogyny

sad tragic terrible day: not one but two artists I had a lot of respect for decide to be a mask-off transandrophobe. sigh. at least I can always rely on you to have good takes and massive tits 🫡

my tits are huge and my love is boundless

why is it always the most insufferable people tilting at windmills. there are enough actual problems they could focus their self-righteousness on, but they'd rather imagine insane shit to attribute to other people.

scoring notes spreading malicious lies about other trans people on a dying social media site is more fun than dealing with the ongoing genocide targeting all of us

I get sooo pissed off by trfs going "listen to oppressed people about their oppression!" Because what they mean is "listen to us that this other group's oppression is Actually Our Oppression and them talking about their experiences and ppl listening to them talk about their experiences is Transmisogyny"

lmao literally

howdy velvet, here to leave a thought i had- 1 tumblr recommending me a transradfem blog in my "similar to those you follow" which was like. 3 fandom posts before it gets right into some of the nastiest overtly transandrophobic shit. and 1 tumblr stop recommending me people who dont think transmasc people are real people because i follow blogs who talk about....the opposite of that.... even if they reblog 1 (one) fandom gif. The main point is- JESUS christ do these people get really cruel about transmasc bodies like. immediately. its pivoting to calling us the c word and insulting dicks like we're all "smol beans" and its like....man. fuck is wrong with these people. why do they immediately feel entitled to shit on people's bodies?? it's just such an immediate kneejerk. total lack of consideration for other trans people's possible dysphoria and you know. just, not being a huge asshole.

I'm sorry, anon. No one should be treated like this.

You know something that really bother me is that people (who are not Ukrainian) act like basically 70 years of Ukrainian history is just a complete black hole. Was the Soviet era difficult? Of course. And bad at times? Of course. But it wasn’t literally nothing. The way these people discuss like Ukraine froze in 1930 and only started existing again in the 90s make me so uncomfortable. We weren’t “poor people starting entirely over 🥺 they are basically so far behind”. People still made things and made good memory and lived and loved and had family. It wasn’t literal misery all the time. And it really makes me uncomfortable when people act like it is, unless my whole family and bf’s family and everyone else is lying about good memories of their child hood or young adult hood I guess. It somehow is giving white savior despite most Ukrainians being white (well debatably, depending on how white you find Slavs but that is other conversation) especially when coming from Americans. Okay I guess you also must have nothing good going on ever because you are under bad government too right?

People are chronically unable to deal with other people as actual people, even when in sympathy.

[strqyr]

Tbh of all the stories in Fairytales of Remnant, I think The Infinite Man is the most fascinating one bc it's such a good read into Oz's belief system (old and new), what he's asking for now, and overall character. Granted, all of the stories are, I believe, good reads into Ozpins character, cause the whole book seems to be one big character study, but The Infinite Man is so INTERESTING.

I think it's set before Oz found out Salem is unkillable and thus before he gave up on his task. And that's really interesting bc you kinda get an insight into how he thought during this time period, seemingly only doing it because it would allow him to rest and that it was the 'only thing' he was here for, aka the only thing he's worth without Salem (It's mentioned that they will "make way for the final judgement" and that, as their message spread through Remnant, "This was what he was here for, he thought. Perhaps, in the end, he would be able to rest." <- probably lying to himself, he wasn't here for the task, he was here for Salem. Without her, what is he worth?).

Also the Circle is repeatedly stated to be a mistake he made, and if he was Still working towards his task, I'm pretty sure he'd say it was his greatest achievement, not a huge mistake. Also, he acknowledges that his task isn't what people want by including in that it (at least likely) WASN'T Salem who sent people to kill him ("Did someone send you to kill me?" He asked through gritted teeth. "Your mere existence makes you a target.").

And. I just. Gestures wildly at this: "I can't help what you've heard about me." The man shot the woman a pointed look. "But in my experience, Gods are far less than the stories told about them. I assure you, I am no God, and I don't want to fight you."

ALSO loudly gestures at "Some people still worship Gods, while others insist we must be our own salvation. But the world doesn't work in absolutes, so why can't it be both?". Oz knows the world isn't black or white, he knows Gods are fallible and imperfect, and he knows humanity can accomplish great things and replace the Gods with their own creations and ingenuity [gestures at The Gift of the Moon as well as The Infinite Man].

Also. Points at Ozpins notes at the end of The Infinite Man. He's pretty blatantly asking for forgiveness, for hurting Salem and for getting people killed during his old crusade. He's trying to say that he doesn't believe in that anymore, that he knows he did wrong; he had good intentions, but he was a fool and still got people hurt.

Sorry I'm clinically insane over Ozpin. I'm gonna turn this into a post

honestly i have nothing to add to this, gotta just appreciate how the whole idea behind the fairy tale book is oz not only making a collection of fairytales that's included in the curriculum of the academies, but getting some of his friends / colleagues to record some of them as well, and then the whole thing is just. oz telling on himself in multitude of ways lmao love that for him ✌

even in the introduction of the book he's like "i have discovered in this lifelong pursuit that if you wish to fully appreciate a story, you should consider its source and attempt to unravel and understand the storyteller's intentions. why did they tell this story? why now? yes, stories may be shared for entertainment alone; however, they also can disguise lessons, moral guidance, important historic records, moon-shattering revelations—and even dire warnings of hidden dangers in the world and difficult trials yet to come." <- dude's literally telling everyone to bring an extra oxygen supply because we're going Deep with this one!!

[foolofatook001]

Faerie Fort Week Day Four -- Wings

The Start of All Things

"I'm sorry if this is a little, er— forward," Ren begins, almost entirely out of the blue. "But I had a question." Lizzie shifts so she can side-eye him, wary of the next thing that's going to come out of his mouth. She's terribly fond of her knight, but he does have a way with words— and it's not a good way, either. 

"Go on," she says slowly. 

"Well, it's just. Erm. Your wings," he says, ducking his head a little and gesturing to where her golden wings are spread behind her, soaking in the setting sun from the top of the Shadow Tower. "D'you ever— y'know. Use them? Because I've just noticed, I mean, that you don't do a whole lot of flying anywhere or anything. And so, I wondered. I mean, is something wrong? Are you all right, my lady? It's not an injury or anything, right—"

"Ren," Lizzie interrupts, before he can dig his hole any deeper. "I'm fine. I'm not injured. This arena just limits flight, is all. Grian's got wings, too, and he can't use them to do more than hop around, same as me."

"Oh. Oh, I see. I suppose that makes sense, fairness and all." He smiles wryly, then takes another long look at her wings. "It's just a shame, I suppose. I think you'd look terrifying if you could use them. Imagine if you went red. You'd be the Avenging Shadow Angel. You'd be tellin' everyone Fear Not all the time, if you know what I'm sayin'."

Lizzie laughs. "And then my wings would be everyone's first target," she points out. "I'm perfectly all right not being able to fly here. I'd rather everyone underestimate me."

Ren hums in agreement, and lets the subject go. 

-o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o--o0o-

"Just give up, Ren! Die already!" Scott shouts from the hillside above, but Ren ignores him, charging forward. His vision is spotty, both from pain and from the multicolored potion bubbles that swirl around him— Scott is relying heavily on magic and it's taking all of Ren's concentration just to try and power through it. His blows are only half as effective, he realizes (that axe strike should have shattered Scott's shield, but it only glanced off), and he is much slower than he should be. A broken arrow dangles from his leg, its head still buried in his thigh; another hits him now as he surges up the hill, landing in the gap between his chestplate and spaulder, just below his collarbone. The impact knocks him back, but he grits his teeth and keeps going. What is another arrow, if he can win this game? What is a little pain, if he can be the last one standing? 

A third arrow hits him, this time in the opposite shoulder. Ren snarls, tasting blood, as he is knocked back down the hill yet again. 

Slowly, laboriously, he gets to his feet, leaning on his sword. He lifts it—

And another arrow, alight with enchanted flame, flies directly into his chestplate and shatters it, driving through his chest. 

He hears Scott cheering as he collapses; finally, an injury he cannot push through. As his vision fades, he begins to see the hovering ghosts of all the other players, crowding around the site of the last battle. And there, directly above him, is Lizzie, her wings spread in their full glory, reaching out to him.

"Ah, my lady," he says, the words barely a rasp. "Just like an angel, didn't I say?" And his own spirit lifts out of his cooling corpse, and takes her hand. 

(also on ao3) (prompt post)

[colorful-white-ideas]

You kinda stated the issue people are having, in bits though. There are so many brands out there that are really huge and could give you promo for a movie or whatever. Especially if you’re looking for a way to promote a movie that has a goth theme. Why would you want to associate with a weird ass brand that would do something like that for attention whether that’s what it was intended for or not? That’s what people are asking I think. Balenciaga has done some really weird and shady stuff beside the bears though. Even though it is one of the most famous brands out there, a lot of celebrities associate with them, it would sense for him to do the same to get out there I guess but only to certain point? The audience outside of rich people at this moment with everything happening with Diddy, and people like Katy Perry for example being exposed right now for being predatory or having been know to defend or heavily and very closely be associated with predators, it’s not a good move for him to be promoting this current project this way. (being this close to big scandals and all) I’m sure all the arrangements like seating and invites was already planned and done a while ago but to have all this stuff come out right as he goes to both H&M and Balenciaga events is not a good look to people who don’t understand the “behind the scenes” of their kind of jobs I guess. He most likely couldn’t just back out of something like that. As a business move right now yes it was good for him on that behind the scenes aspect of his job, like getting him more promotion and job opportunities, but in the future people who are supposed to be the targets for any kind of media related thing like press for the audience he has to do for those job opportunities probably won’t reach as well because of of his now associations with the brands. The media surrounding hollywood right now is not good, there are a lot of celebrities who are being exposed for being disgusting people and anyone who has been known to associate with them or even seen with them are being put under a microscope because people are suspicious of them. People are starting to get suspicious about some of the weird stuff Alex has done or people he’s been seen with because of all the scandals coming out right now about the industry as well. When I saw that photo of Alex and Bill with that British model or reality tv start at the “Lee” premiere I knew the conspiracy theorists would come rolling in. She was doing the Baphomet symbol with her hands in the photo and now bill is at the Balenciaga fashion show so it was just bound to happen. I’m not the anon that sent those asks so I don’t believe all the “satanic panic” stuff but I do believe that there are really bad people in the industry that have done really bad things to children and anyone they can get their hands on. It’s been a thing for years and some of them joke about it a lot which is weird but I don’t think everyone is like that. I can’t speak on Bill because I haven’t been a “fan” for long. Haven’t really followed the things outside of a few movies I’ve seen him in. But Alex is kind of a weirdo? He makes very odd remarks and jokes and seems to be a bit of a creep. Played a lot of off characters that seemed too “comfortable” to him as well, least that’s the impression I get when I come across something about him. 1/2

Sorry but after the sentence " you kinda started the issue.." I just rolled my eyes. I didn't start shit. I won't take that.

I' ll post it because you want to be heard clearly.

You are barking at the wrong tree. I don't work for that brand , I don't work for Bill , this blog is one of many out there with 0 power to demand anything from him and a multimillion dollar brand.

I'm just a poor person at the other end of the glob enjoying seeing one of her favorite actor have a good promotion season.That's it. It's not that deep.

Bill is getting all this criticism for doing what all actors do: attend to events to get more pictures so people don't forget his face and go to see his movies

Finally now that people want to cancel him for working with that shady Brand I hope they are consistent and do the same when the H&M collection drops tomorrow. They are not a good company either ... We live under capitalism, nobody does big ( real big big money) and keeps their hands clean.

And about " they do bad things under the radar " guess what ? Poor people does too. The amount of abuse of all kinds we see daily around us ... Some never pay for their action and they are as broke as everyone here.

The world is a shit hole. Welcome everybody to real life.

I have nothing else to add. Good night.

[rouge-fauna]

I'm a c!Tommy fan and didn't mind your aspd c!Tommy post. I don't think it was ableist. I don't exactly agree with it either though but you have a right to say it and not get talked about behind your back. I'm sorry that happened. I would probably send an ask about my interpretation in the distant future once all this has calmed down and the abundance of c!Tommy asks have stopped 😅 ❤️

I really appreciate you saying that. :) I’m glad I haven’t pissed everyone off lol, whether you agree or don’t, or like c!Tommy or don't. I mean I personally don't think it's really right to talk badly about people behind their back anyways, but it certainly does feel a little unreasonable to call me dumb, crazy and delusional without even trying to have a conversation with me. What's sad is that there are points to be made and would have been interesting to discuss like an alternative diagnosis or looking more at the diagnosing criteria. Like this is not a hill I would die on, it's not my favorite analysis or take, it's just an opinion and viewpoint I shared with reasons why, the context of which was actually countering the argument of people calling c!Dream a psychopath.

And while I'm at it, I would like to note a few things. In the essay I didn't even call c!Tommy evil or ASPD evil, and I have tried to be very clear that by no means do I believe c!Tommy deserved to be abused in Exile or any other time. And in regards to the alignment chart, I really disliked that analysis anyways. It just doesn't really work. It's a simplified tool for dnd to help people stay to character, but how do you decide what is good, lawful, and evil in a story where, as I have talked about so many times, there is no true system of laws or government, and no widely accepted bounds of morality... So just to be clear, I will reiterate - no one deserves abuse, I do not think c!Tommy is "evil" or the "Bad guy" and I do not think there is a dsmp character who is. And while it may seem like I have a vendetta or am targeting c!Tommy specifically, that's just where discussion has lead recently, mostly because of the finale, anons, and also because of noticing how often c!Tommy calls c!Dream a psychopath I thought it was interesting to look at how it might be the other way around...

Also... I guess... I don't know, aren't y'all bored of having the same old discussions and takes on c!Dream, c!Tommy, c!Wilbur, c!Punz, c!Tubbo... etc over and over? Is it not fun to look at things in a different way and say - what if this is true or - that is true and how does that change things? Is it not interesting to take the same story and lore and see if it can be seen still canonically in a different way? I mean, applying diagnosis is never going to fit perfectly, not just because I'm a 23 year old autistic engineer not a psychologist of any kind, but also mostly because we only have a set chaotic few years of them to look at with no past to base on. But beyond that, isn't it fun and interesting to see if it fits, if it provides an explanation for behavior we didn't have before? Is it so wrong of me to try and see if there are fun new ways of looking at lore instead of having detailed ships and aus?...

Anyways sorry, I may have gotten carried away there, it has been a long Monday. Regardless, it is a shame that it ruined the chance for actual exciting productive conversation and discussion to happen, because I can't say I am not curious on your interpretation. Guess we will just circle back around to it (it seems to be inevitable at his point lol) <3 <3 <3

[tsukikoayanosuke]

Happy 4th Anniversary for TW:OPT!

(Two weeks late, but better than never.)

Can't believe it has been 4 years, eh? Can't believe I'm almost one year without posting any TW:OPT related since the final episode. I don't even think I ever post a Behind the Fic for chapter 163. Sorry about that.

I honestly don't know what am I supposed to make for this year. Honestly my biggest goal is to finish all of my wip, including ideas for TW:OPT Gaiden, before moving on to Book 2.

But sometimes I even wonder whether I want to write Book 2 or not.

Don't get me wrong; I still like Twisted-Wonderland. I still love my fic. But the spark is not there anymore. And I don't know why.

I mean, I barely interact with main content of TWST nowadays. Am I overwhelmed? Maybe. Am I having a burnt out? Perhaps. Or maybe I'm just getting old. It just doesn't feel the same, but I cannot pinpoint why it is different.

There were times when I thought: "what's the point? nobody will read this anyway" and wanting to delete everything to start a new or just disappear quietly. It's not like anyone gonna miss me, right?

Which is strange. Back when I wrote TW:OPT for the first time, I don't really care about the reaction. I was writing it for funzies. I know I didn't fit the target audience with the male oc-centric, so I never expected it to pick up. I was just going to write it until I stop and abandon it like many times.

But then you guys came, dearest reader. I never expected much, so it doesn't took me by surprise. I never expected so many people to like this little story. Even now I still sometimes go back and read your comments. Those were the moments when I felt like finally I did something right.

Meet new friends who I'll always treasure them in my heart and I lost a friend, which kinda makes me afraid in commenting others' WIP, but that's another story. I feel like I learn more about writing when planning for TW:OPT that I've ever before in school. It was a good times to find something to do, especially during quarantine, might I dare to say TW:OPT was the that bring me through quarantine. It came at the right place, at the right time.

But there are times, many even, when I looked at the neighbor's grass and see that it is greener. I thought I could handle myself, but jealously will come sooner or later. Insecurities is not a nice thing. It will eat you up until it left you crumbling to your knees. And the biggest thing that annoy me is that the fact that I care. I admit I don't have the best understanding with my surrounding and can be apathetic, so I shouldn't have feel jealous or anything. I'm the type of girl who can admit defeat and knows when others can do better things than me, so why can't I accept this? I've written a lot of fic and I never expect any reaction. So why am I bothered with attention when writing TW:OPT?

There's a saying: "Above the sky there is another sky". I know that. I know there are many writers better than me. Heck, my friends are better writer than me. Do I want to be the only writer? Absolutely not! If someone as pathetic like me can find joy in writing, I'm sure many will as well! I wasn't intended to gatekeep. So why am I feeling jealous like this?

If I have to explain this the best I can, it will be maybe like this: Writing is the only thing that I can enjoy and at least have a decent skill. Even if in real life I keep this a secret, at least I can take pride by myself. And when that one thing is taken from you, what is left? If TW:OPT is my one pride, what happen when it doesn't give you the same happiness anymore?

It's a thing that I noticed. After the middle of Scarabia Arc, I don't feel as happy as I used to when writing it. It became a chore. The thing where it supposed to be a stress-reliever, was instead became the cause of stress. I was plagued with the thoughts: I need to update. I have to update. When can I write? They've waited for too long. I can't stop now. I must finish this goddamn fic. It shouldn't have take three years to complete this damn fic. Why can't I update everyday like before? What wrong with me? Am I losing my touch? Why I don't get that many attraction anymore? Do they hate my work now? Am I not as good as I thought I am? Everyone is better than me. Why can't I be like them? Are my readers disappointed in me? Are they already moving on because I took too long? No one cares anymore. Always knew that I'm irrelevant. I'm just wasting my time trying to get something that's never mine.

But I'm still clinging onto TW:OPT. I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet. I still have Book 2/Last. I promised to myself that I will write it. I want to complete it. It doesn't matter if Twisted-Wonderland continue into Year 2 or 3 or 4. My goal is to complete Year 1.

I just...I don't want to disappoint you guys. I don't want to disappoint myself. I don't want this to be an abandon project. I just want to finally complete something that I started on my own will for once in my goddamn life.

What a hubris thought, huh? I'm sorry. I must've sounded like a selfish, attention-seeking, and ungrateful little bitch, aren't I? "Write for yourself" as they would say; I don't deserve to complain like a baby. I'll stop now.

I honesty don't know where is this rambling goes. I don't think I've ever talk like this before. Sorry. This might be a bad look on me, but it has been eating in me for the longest time. Does it feel good to let it out? Maybe. Or maybe I'm not able to feel anything anymore.

I just want to be happy in writing again. I want to be optimistic in my writing again. I don't want to be jealous of others. That one spark that I had back in early TW:OPT, I need it again. I want to try again. I want to write for TWST again. There are so many WIP that I want to write before I maybe disappear again. I know I will go back to write for Book 2. But not in this state. Not in this mental state where I think will care anymore.

I just want to be happy in my writing again.

I don't know... What do I do? I can try writing more. Will it help? It won't be another futile attempt? Or am I really hopeless and never have the chance since the very beginning. TW:OPT is my peak after all. It'll only go downhill from here.

...........................................................

Okay. I'll really stop here.

Dearest reader, whoever and wherever you are, I'm sorry for not giving you much. I perfectly understand if you want to leave. But I am eternally grateful for you guys who still stays. This four years has been an experience. But thank you for being there to experience it with me.

I'm going to stop whining now. Bye for now.

[epickiya722]

REACTIONS TO EPISODE 20 - ASSASSIN

The usual! Jokes, me having feelings, there's some pictures, questions... all that!

LAST EPISODE'S REACTIONS

I really want to fight these people!! LEAVE HER ALONE!!

Again, how I adore Izuku "Deku" Midoriya!! Coming to her rescue!

"It's her fault to dress up like that and wander around. People can get the wrong idea." Hm. Why does that sound so familiar?! FUCK YOU, MAN!!!!

Maybe it's me, but she is too cute!!! Like!!! Shes crying and everything and I just want to hug her and protect her!!

Dad... I mean All Might handing him the lunch... WRAPPED IN BUNNIES!!! MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!! 😭💚🐇

AAAAAAWWWW!!!

Hey, Banjo!

IZUKU, STOP BEING SO CUTE!!!! 💚

"Please, my hero." Okay, for real, what is up with the OFA users and my feelings?

They just... okay who put these two in time out?

Banjo never not made me laugh. 🤣

YOICHI'S SMILE!!! 💚💚

THE 3RD IS SPEAKING, SHUSH!!!

THE 2ND IS SPEAKING, SHUSH!!!

I still can't believe they went to kill him and instead rescue him.

OMG, THEY GIVING US THE RESCUE SCENE!!!

... you held hands... and thus OFA started... what kind of romantic...

Nah, for real, if that's when OFA transferred it makes sense when you think about it. When it began at Yoichi and 2nd, it was weak. By the time it reached Izuku, it was so strong that it needed not only a quirkless person to handle it, but DNA from the previous user to be consumed. Over time OFA, became stronger and adaptable to the point it's almost like a sentient being with the OFA Users inhabiting its core... I need to make this a separate post...

I love the OFA Users! Looking like a rainbow! But why Nana had to be pink?

I'm joking, I actually like the shade on her!!! BUT THAT PURPLE ON EN!!! I LOVE PURPLE!!! 💜💜💜

Endeavor standing behind that pillar like that!!! 🤣

The 2nd telling Izuku things will get faster *laughs in manga reader* and Izuku biting in his food all seriously determined. Not intentional, but that is both funny and cute.

"You were the cause of everything." And Endeavor just agrees. That's hilarious. But... it was a team effort! 😃 Clap it up for Endeavor for Dabi, AFO for just being AFO, the Doctor for being very disrespectful by MESSING WITH CORPSES, Kotaro for being a crap dad...

The civilians telling the heroes to leave and they're doing just that... like they're leaving!!!

Best Jeanist catching the stuff thrown at them though.

Okay, I don't get the civilians. They're mad at the heroes for not showing up and yet when they do show up to help they're mad!! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!

Izuku Midoriya bet not become a target... *sighs in manga reader* I hate the civilians...

"I can't let Deku carry any more burdens." 😶 This is Izuku you're talking about here.

He is so pretty.

Why they even put that man on life support?!

Gotta feel sorry for Tomura. AFO really just have been using him the whole time.

"He is obsessed with his younger brother." I mean, look at that face!! Yoichi is just so kind and pretty! I would want to protect him, too! The difference is I'm not gonna lock him in a vault and be a creep about it. I'm glad the 2nd & 3rd broke him out!!

"A lack of humanity." Yep

Again, I'm telling you, Deku is being like All Might was. Without meaning to. YOU SEE WHAT NIGHTEYE MEANT?!

Oh shit, did she just shoot his phone and a bomb at All Might! DISRESPECTFUL!!

Lady Nagant!!! Wait a fucking minute!!! HER HAIR ARE HER BULLETS?! WHAT THE HELL?!

"I'll let you keep all your limbs." Lady, he doesn't even take of his limbs like that. Your threats are so empty.

Oh, she's gorgeous!

Hey, Overhaul, how was prison?

OH SHIT THEY GOT SNIPE ON TV!!!

"I should have left him behind." Why didn't you?

I forget how damn big AFO is. Him and All Might just make everyone look like ants.

Except for that fox lady and some other folks.

I love how she just interrupts AFO. Not a lot of people have the balls, but she got brash ones.

"He was a victim..." ERI WAS THE VICTIM!! Of course, AFO wouldn't care about that because he doesn't give a damn about anyone!

He gave her Air Walk, oh nice.

And the next episode continues with the fight!!!

[emeraldspiral]

Voltron was the thing that really popularized the motal purity culture we see nowadays in fandom spaces but for some reason it reared its ugly head BEFORE Voltron.

all I know is that I was in a fandom for a good long while, and by 2016 it was GONE.

around 2014 people went insane with nonsensical fictional moral panic and started harassing all the big name ship artists and around 2015 most of them left the fandom behind because they couldn't deal with the constant harassment and sui baiting. by 2016 there were basically none left.

I'm talking 30+ artist, wonderful art, blogs, aus, headcanons, theories all GONE their blogs deleted and wiped

this behavior in 2012 was completely unheard of and by 2016 it destroyed my fandom. nowadays I'm lucky if the ship gets a piece of art every few months and the brave artists who do post about it still get harassed. it used to be one of the most common ships pre purity culture!! it was a booming community!!

I genuinely have no idea why and how this all started, as Voltron only came out in 2016!!!

anyway sorry for the rant the topic just made me sad and I wanted to share :(

love your blog btw!! your iz headcanons are awesome :3

I feel like early tumblr was mostly populated by teens and college students who were just recently introduced to queer feminist intersectional social justice concepts after a lifetime of sheltering in the public education system where a lot of that stuff is watered down if it's talked about at all. So you had a lot of overeager young people having their minds opened up for the first time, and then they start parroting feminist theory they heard from one person and only half-understood to other young people, and it keeps losing its nuances and having its points missed or twisted to fit into someone else's ideology and it becomes like a xerox of a xerox of a xerox the more it gets passed along.

And sometimes you'd also have people just making stuff up. Like, they have an idea or a theory, and they think they've hit upon some brilliant epiphany. And because they say it confidently and with a catchy slogan and it kinda makes sense if you don't think about it too hard, people buy it. But it's not supported by any research and if you pull at any of the threads of their logic whatever "truth" they think they divined completely unravels.

Some of those people are probably well meaning and just trying to emulate popular people that they admire who talk about SJ issues. But there's a lot of people who do it just so they can get popular and pretend to be superior to others. A lot of people intentionally set out to become social justice influencers in order to gain people's trust so they can sick them on people they don't like or target people for grooming and abuse and gaslight them into thinking what's happening to them isn't happening and if they speak out their followers will shield them and harass their victims off the internet.

All of this is exacerbated by the fact that people tend to only examine their beliefs on a surface level, so they think that just because they believe in gay rights and abortion they're woke. But the reality is, Christianity permeates so much of western civilization that whether you've ever practiced it or not you are absolutely influenced by it and a lot of distinctly Christian ideas are at the foundation of your whole way of thinking. A lot of people base their ideas of good and evil and right on wrong on their gut reactions rather than evidence of actual harm because Christianity promotes the idea that you're supposed to just know these things intuitively. A lot of people buy into the idea that exposure to "immoral" content taints and corrupts them. If you really want to look at the "immoral" stuff you can convince yourself that it's okay for you because your superior moral fortitude and enlightenment makes you immune to corruption. But you can't trust the common plebs because they're too weak-minded and impure to inoculate themselves against sinful influences, which makes it your duty to campaign to have those influences removed for their own good. A lot of people think being okay with gay sex and sex outside of marriage makes them sex-positive but they still talk about all sex and sexual expression as if it's inherently dirty and sinful and degrading and vulgar outside of a select few circumstances in which it's somehow divorced from lust to make it a pure expression of Divine Love.

And that's how you end up with the extremely toxic culture of 2010s tumblr, before the NSFW purge led to most of the people who were like this fleeing to twitter.

So yes, prior to V0ltron people were using garbage social justice arguments to attack ships for being "problematic". But also, people were using those arguments to attack anything and everyone they didn't like to make it a moral issue so their petty dislike could feel more like an objectively moral stance.

There was an entire blog dedicated to listing all the reasons why you shouldn't like this actor/writer/director/whoever, sometimes for legitimately scummy things they did, which people who stanned them might not have known about. But most of the time for really petty reasons, or stuff that was made up or interpreted disingenuously. I think the creator of that blog even admitted that she lied to herself that it was about spreading awareness and discouraging celebrity worship and parasocial relationships. It just felt good and made her feel better about herself to pick apart and find fault in other people and things that people liked and act like she was morally superior for not liking them. Or at the very least she admitted that despite her intentions that ended up being the primary purpose it was used for by the people who contributed to it and she regretted fostering that culture and getting sucked into it herself.

I think what made V0ltron different was the fact that it was so deliberate and coordinated. Like, there was an actual group of masterminds who weren't just having emotions and then using moral reasoning to justify their emotions and the inappropriate ways they were acting out over them. They were fully aware that they were co-opting SJ rhetoric and combining it with puritan rhetoric in order to demonize a totally vanilla ship in service of the righteous crusade of canonizing their own ship. And they convinced a lot of useful idiots to adopt the beliefs they were faking sincerely. And now those people are passing those beliefs along and normalizing them for the next generation and telling them not to listen to us Millennials who already went through this with the Satanic Panic/Don't Ask Don't Tell/Abstinence Only Education era.