#i'm sorry for who i am
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one moment I'm fine and then the next one I'm bleeding on the bathroom floor again
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I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#lincoln rants#I'm sorry but I'm at the end of my rope#I got a LOT of these comments on my Buddie Platonic Sugar Baby AU#acting like I was some new writer to the fandom#babes I've been here since the dawn of 2020 where the fuck have YOU been?#I am happy to answer questions! I love responding to reader comments!#but it is beyond frustrating to answer a question that if they'd literally just clicked on my author name#they would have gotten the answer to themselves#yes I have written more yes I am still writing yes I've been here longer than you have#and I don't mean that in a pulling rank/seniority way I just mean that in a could you please just CLICK ON MY NAME???#INSTEAD OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS??? way#I'VE DONE MY TIME! FOUR AND A HALF YEARS! IN THE CIRCUS!#I'm sorry but sometimes I have to yell publicly a little#and I really do suspect this is people who are not on tumblr#so I am genuinely begging you#if you are on other social media platforms#PLEASE feel free to repeat what I have said#PLEASE I AM SO TIRED!!!
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Origins: Only the Magisters have ever walked physically in the Fade. Such a feat has never been repeated, and the hubris of their actions unleashed an ancient evil on the world that terrorises Thedas to this day. Inquisition: Your trip through the Fade at Adamant was unprecedented and dangerous and we should make sure no-one does it again. Veilguard: 12 bedroom Fade Flat for Rent, 300 Sovreigns/month
#I'm just sayin' we're setting up a lil' Fade commune and someone should probably warn the Chantry#Fade Spirits who want to welcome us to the neighbourhood I am sorry#da:tv spoilers#da:tv#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age veilguard#dragon age veilguard spoilers#spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers
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Please notice this crap😭
Nothing but TREVOR. FUCKING. BELMONT.
#trevor belmont#trevor castlevania#castlevania#castlevania netflix#my artwork#mr shimurka#dijital art#I hate myself#20 fucking hours of work......#i'm sorry for who i am#I'm just a whiner
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I DID IT I GOT MY PINK HAYATE now I am never doing that again!
(at least until they give me, like, a frilly unicorn Kamui or something)
#art#ride kamens#last note#i did this SO fast i'm sorry#i was just so excited i actually managed it!#look as a super casual f2p player who has never made a chaostone higher than a+#350k points is a frikkin ACHIEVEMENT#but how could i say no when i got lucky enough to pull the fancy ribbons-and-lace birdboy#and then they tell me i can turn him pink on top of that?#(i'm definitely not still bitter about missing out on a certain other card in another game NOPE)#plus. i mean. i also just kinda wanted to see if i could.#but now i have pretty pink perfume hayate on my home screen and i am Fulfilled#i haven't even read the story yet because i've been so focused on grinding out tickets i have NO context for why he is so fancy#now i have literally thousands of event seals i have to figure out what to do with in the next few hours. hm.#i also have to keep telling myself to save my diamonds and not do just oooone more pull to see if i can get a shion to turn blue...#it's not going to happen and it's not worth it#but whaaaat iiiif...
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the more I play the more I think lucanis basically knows it's illario who betrayed him right from the beginning (he's had a year in the ossuary to think. not that many people knew where he was going. when you ask him 'did Illario know you'd be on that ship' his only answer is the hardest flattest 'yes' you ever heard). so it's not so much about figuring out who the traitor is (because that's ludicrous. we all know. immediately. they didn't really bother to hide it lmao) as about methodically closing off every single avenue of denial lucanis has clung to that whole time with as much or little gentleness as you might prefer until he has no choice but to admit it. because the moment he has to admit it, he'll have to do something -- feel something -- about it. and that's such a catastrophic event in lucanis' inner landscape (he has had TWO people in this whole entire world up until now and will do anything to hold on to them with a heartbreaking child-like desperation, even at and especially through the detriment of his own self) that he'd rather just. not. what if we quite simply. didn't. what if we just stayed here in the emptiness where we can both pretend you didn't hurt me in a way I should never forgive. I have so much practice in that with caterina already it's always worked out great for everyone so far. (press x to fucking doubt but that's trauma logic for you lol)
after everything illario did, so much of the storm of lucanis' emotions around it is 'what the FUCK did you get yourself tangled up in this time and how do I get you out of this mess safely'. what's worse: the fact that your brother murdered you, or that he put himself in horrible danger doing so and thus exposed you to the risk of losing him forever. lucanis' heart certainly has an opinion here and it's fucking unhinged (affectionate)
the themes of dissociation in lucanis' character in general makes me feel nuts. allllll these contradictory messy things he needs to cut off from each other because they can't coexist or be easily reconciled inside him. but all remain stubbornly true separately anyway and will have their due one day. love and resentment. tenderness and fear and rage. terror and longing. love and freedom don't coexist. the burned out golden child anthem is playing in the background. he was always caterina's favourite and he has to keep striving to deserve that dubious honour with every breath he takes and then, presumably, mercifully, some day he will die and be excused and can rest. and until now he's suppressed all the -- natural, healthy, protective! -- negative feelings that threaten the few attachment relationships he actually has, at the cost of ever actually having his needs for connection and safety met and leaving his core self imprisoned and compromised. and spite goes 'what. no. that's dumb fuck that' (*spite voice* I do not understand that and even if I did I would not respect it) and does not allow him to fall back into that, which I think is what saves his life, ultimately. it took being possessed by a demon for lucanis to even contemplate telling anyone he loves 'no' in any way, but hey. whatever gets you there right lol
lucanis is dealing with the freeze response allll the way down baby. and he was even before the ossuary, that just turbo powered it and brought it to a breaking point way before it could happen naturally. but something was going to break eventually no matter what, and I'm just glad that in the end, through the power of friendship and also pure spite, it doesn't have to be him
#I am worried about him all the time. but also: his found family of godslaying maniacs and also the power of love. there are reasons to hope#when there was only one set of footprints in the sand that was the veilguard party holding lucanis in their arms#and going 'excuse you he said no FUCKING pickles!!!' while he's like '🥺should you guys really be -- ' 'YES'#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#there's some messiness to his arc but what mary kirby managed to capture here about how this works. is everything to me#he is so exactly for me. I'm sorry for all the people he turned out not to be for. but not for him being for me#the gift of looking at him and hearing 'you're more than what you're going through' and be forced to annoyedly go 'okay#MAYBE that could be also be true for me. maybe.' he's going through it. and also so much more and the funniest person in the world#he's so worth it to still have in the world!!!!#I'm so glad we don't get to 'fix' his relationship with his family and especially caterina actually#that is stuff that would need to happen on a time scale waaay outside of the one in this game#and there's Something very real in having to go 'this is not for me to decide for you. who you love and what you do about it is yours'
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art/patrick + old childhood best friends motif
#challengers#art x patrick#art donaldson#patrick zweig#artrick#*#this whole concept...i am sick over it you have no idea.#it will always make me go feral in fiction#i'm sorry it's so long idk if anyone's gonna read it but it's my bday today#and i've been thinking of all the people i used to love who aren't in my life anymore#fire and ice
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posting this with absolutely no context
#am i a cryptid now? i log on like once in a blue moon to post cringe and then leave again#ace attorney#apollo justice#tikki#random stuff#my stuff#ooookay okay okay okay. anyone reading the tags can have a LITTLE context‚ as a treat#so. sitting on my ao3 currently is an unfinished fic with exactly this premise#i want to finish it so bad. it haunts me every day. people leave such nice comments and everything#but i just have no motivation. trust me i've tried#i thought that perhaps drawing it might finally kick my brain back into gear#i'm so sorry readers i'm sorry i WILL finish it i promise it's not abandoned#it was so much fuuuuun#tikki are you seeing this. cringefail author who keeps playing video games instead of writing lmao#anyway goodbye friends i am gone again. logging off once more
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I already know I'm a horrible person. there's not a day where I don't beat myself up for it. why can't I change no matter how hard I try?
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The hottest couple in Hell 🍎😈
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#lucilith#lucifer x lilith#lilith x lucifer#clip studio paint#my art#digital art#I just wanted to draw them in different outfits 😇#they have carnal desire for each other I just know it they cant help but undress the other with their eyes#lilith reaching out for the apple is the most suggestive thing I've ever drawn so far lol#I AM SO IN LOVE WITH BOTH OF THEM HELP ME#I'm sorry for everyone who follows me for Alastor now I'm having a pretty bad Lucilith brainrot pls bare with me for a while
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#I don't feel my thumbs#I'm sorry to all those people who I gave a boop to and they didn't even know who I am#anyway#Follow me for more stupid memes and Yu-Gi-Oh analysis#and headcanons#just kidding#boop#gravity falls#meme#april fool's day
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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curse technique concept:
your technique can make anyone fall in love with you. it's not permanent, but the emotions are extremely real, and powerful, wearing off over time unless refreshed.
the technique is activated by eye contact.
you've also taken a binding vow - you cannot activate your technique at will, it's always on. this makes your technique much stronger than it should be.
so you run around with a blindfold, much like gojo, just to prevent making random people fall in love with you.
it's not so bad, really!
growing up, your parents would wear eyepatches - with only one eye making contact, the technique was half as effective!
except... if the effectiveness of the technique increases proportionally with the number of eyes... well...
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk imagines#idk#i'm thinking sukuna and gojo obviously#can you even imagine#sukuna would be SO put out. how DARE you. *glares at you and falls in love again* FUCK#gojo's fucking DEAD#poor bastard#six eyes? sounds like a disability to me#gojo: “i am so in love i'm about to throw up” sukuna: “pathetic”#you: “yuji could you help out with this curse-” sukuna: “MALEVOLENT SHRINE”#gojo x reader#sukuna x reader#sorry to my normal tl who 99% signed up for obey me im gonna spam you with jjk ideas now
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you know how you’re not supposed to trust how you feel about yourself after 9pm? for me it’s ‘don’t trust how you feel about finally watching queen of the damned after 9pm’ because i keep thinking i’ll watch it and liveblog it at y’all.
#ooc;;#i'm sorry for who i am#i might do this tomorrow but again i do not trust how i feel about it right now
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If Jin Ling is bald because WWX cursed Jin Zixuan then why are Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao bald🤔🤔
Jin Ling was always going to be bald, Wei Wuxian's curse was just an accidental prophecy that will haunt Jin Zixuan for exactly one month.
#ask#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#jin ling#digital art#The Jin family curse skipped Jin Zixuan.#He wont be worried by the end of Jin Ling's first month month so it's no big deal B*)#I like to imagine that Jin Ling doesn't even have the hair strand JGY and JGS have. It's his father's hat and hair.#But now we are moving into truly wild lore that I am not 100% sure I want to commit to.#You know how sometimes you send a curse or prediction out in the world and it comes true?#and even though it happened unrelated to you there is a feeling of 'oh no did I do that?'#That's probably what went down. Unless WWX developed ball blasting cultivation sigils to curse one's descendants.#Ball blasting cultivation...what a combination of words. I'm so sorry to everyone who read these tags.
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