#i'm sorry for the stray @ americans but it had to be done

[ataleofcrowns]

i only mean that it isn't typical/representative of that subgroup, i would ask the same thing if there was an asian kurd character

Did you take geography classes in the United States of America? Be honest now.

[ihave-atummyache]

do u like chase atlantic?

Stray Kids Imagine

OT8

summary: chase atlantic x skz

NSFW!!! drugs, alcohol, sex, toxicity

trigger warnings: abuse of drugs a little bit, use of recreational drugs but not much emphasis on exactly what drug.

angsty, fluffy, toxic, some sweetness

6.8k words

(u don’t have to know the song to understand the story)

Bang Chan- OHMAMI

Call Maria, lets get drunk

I haven't been out for a month

Got a two-liter in the back and another bottle in the trunk

Columbian gold in the front seat

The foreign girls showing me love

Telling your friends that you hate me

But I know that you can't get enough

—

"Come on, Chris. You haven't went out with us in weeks! We're in America, for Christ's sake. We're destined to have a good time," Felix whines at the foot of Chan's bed. He glances up at Felix from his computer than back down. The use of the name “Chris” definitely catches his attention.

"If I go out, will you leave me alone all day tomorrow so I can get this done?" he raises his eyebrows at his younger friend who rolls his eyes in response.

"Yes… Well, probably not. But Scout's honor," he holds up three fingers before continuing, "I will try by best," he smiles and Chan can't help but to laugh.

"America is rubbing off on you. Fine. Let me get ready," Chan closes the laptop and Felix bounds out of the room, excited to tell Han and Hyunjin that he finally got Chan to come out.

What he wasn't expecting when he walked into the club, was seeing you. A familiar face but on a stranger. The same girl he had been practically obsessed with for the entire American leg of their last tour.

You were different though. Expensive jewelry hung from your neck and adorned your delicate wrists and fingers. What have you been doing since he last saw you? What had you been doing for the last year since you two parted ways.

He know it was no more than a hookup that he had gotten unreasonably close to but still, you had a hold on him that was unexplainable. He dragged you on the tour with them for the duration of the rest of the American portion then, he practically ghosted you.

"Y/n?" His voice fills your ears, his accent thick with every letter of your name. You snap your head towards him, your eyes locking with his. Before you can reply, however, a girl steps in front of him, drawing his attention from you for just long enough for you to slide off the bar stool and disappear into the dancing crowd.

"Why the fuck is he here?" You speak to yourself and an arm is slung over your shoulder, stopping you from taking anymore steps. You turn your head and meet eyes with the guy you came here with.

"Where are you going?" he questions, a slight slur in his voice. After seeing Chan, this guy suddenly seems far less appealing. He doesn’t have the sexy accent or the kind eyes. Hell, his body isn’t even half as godly as Chan’s.

"This asshole I haven't seen in a year just happened to be at this bar. I can't stand him. Just seeing him makes me wanna hurl," you grumble and run your hand through your hair before turning to your date.

"Wanna dance?" You question but before he can reply, someone has their hand wrapped around your wrist and is pulling you to the edge of the crowd. You look down and recognize the cuban link bracelet instantly. Chan.

You let him pull you until you're outside of the club then you finally snatch your wrist from his grip. You bring it up to your chest, rubbing slightly at the dull string.

"What the hell? I'm literally here on a date! What could you possibly want?" you exclaim and he takes a deep breath before turning to face you.

"Why did you run from me?" His voice is gentle, it almost has an undertone of guilt in it. Good. He should be guilty.

"Fuck you, Christopher. You fucked my head up. You fucked my heart up and you fucked me up. I'll never be the same because of you," you spit at him and take a step towards him, closing the space.

"Y/n. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, please, shut the hell up. It's too late," you growl at him and turn towards the parking deck where your car is. Honestly, just him being here was enough to ruin your night and you wanted nothing more than to just go home.

"Y/n, wait. Baby, please. Can we just talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Chris. I hate you. I'm sure you know that by now. Seeing as the amount of my friends that you reached out to while trying to contact me," you reach your car quickly, luckily you parked on the first level.

Chan freezes when he sees your car. Ferrari? Since when have you been able to afford this? He approaches the other side of the car at the same time you unlock it and pulls the door open.

His eyes practically fall from his head when he sees what's sitting in the front seat of the car. Was that... drugs? Had you been selling drugs?

The expensive jewelry, the expensive car, the suspicious and sleazy looking man you were with.

"Are you a drug dealer? What the fuck?" His voice is much louder than it should be and you quickly get into the driver side of the car.

"Shut up, you idiot. You want to call the police and tell them about it too? Fuck off," you snap at him and reach across the car, pulling the door closed and locking them before pulling out the parking spot and leaving him in the vacant place.

Did he really fuck you up this bad?

Lee Know- Church

And I'll keep leading you on

If you keep leading me into your room

The drinks are all gone

But that's fine, baby, so am I

I'm about to take you back to church

Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah

Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts

'Cause I'm about to take you back to church

I'll keep you up until the sunset

Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet, yeah

"Y/n, you sound like an idiot. He's a dog. You're being just as naïve as all the other girls he has led on!" You friend exclaims and you turn away from her to glance down at your phone again.

minho: can I come over?

You let out a sigh. Maybe she's right. Maybe it was just because of the amount of wine you had been drinking but you suddenly found the confidence to just leave him on read.

"I just feel like I need him so bad. I can't explain it but... I don't know. Maybe I am an idiot," you trail off and drop back on the bed, the half empty bottle of wine tight in your grip.

"He's just no good. You need to give him a taste of his own medicine! He's toxic! He want you at his every beck and call and you always reply. Maybe if you just-" she gets cut off when your phone starts ringing loudly between the two of you.

You grab your phone from the bed and pull it up to your face before letting out a groan. You slide the phone and press answer, putting it on speaker phone.

"Come open the door," Minho's deep voice echoes out of the phone's speaker before you can say a word and you peak over at your best friend, who is just as confused as you.

"Minho I didn't say you could come over," you reply and he scoffs on the other side of the line, obviously annoyed with your lack of cooperation.

"Baby, I've been drinking. Just let me in so I don't have to drive drunk. I'll sober up and leave. I'm already here and my place is too far. Plus, I can't find a ride right now," You groan and sit up in the bed. When you throw your legs over the side and stand, you feel much more warm and fuzzy than you did when you were laying down.

"Lucky for you, it appears I'm a bit buzzed too," You grumble out and then hang up the phone.

"Don't seriously tell me you're letting that asshole in our house," your best friend complains from beside you and you let out a laugh at her face.

"Okay. This is the last time. I'm seriously done after this. I just need to get his magic mouth and fingers and co-"

"Okay! Stop. I don't need the visual right now. Just get to the point," your best friend cuts you off and you chuckle, walking towards the front door and she follows you.

"It's gonna be like goodbye sex. It's just so good..." you trail off and then exhale deeply before pulling your front door open. You hear your best friend mumble something along the lines of “all this to get your dick wet” behind you, but you don’t comment on her statement. Minho looks heavenly, leaning on the wall across from your apartment door and chewing on what looks like a straw from the bar.

"Hi," you breathe out and he pushes off the wall to walk towards you. You move to the side to let him in and he slings and arm over your shoulder before eyeing your best friend.

"Hey," the smug smirk on his face is enough to make you roll your eyes and she narrows her eyes at him. They aren't too fond of each other and both know it.

"Oh fuck off, Minho and fuck you," she spits at him and he chuckles. You start guiding him towards your room and he looks at your best friend again with that cocky smirk.

"The only one getting fucked tonight is y/n," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"Minho!" You object before pushing him into your room and slamming the door behind you. He really is shitty and you know it but God, the things he can do with his body and the way he looks is just heavenly.

He walks to your bed before plopping down and laying back. You slowly approach the bed and he glances over at you.

"Sit on my face, princess. I've been thinking about your pussy on my tongue all night. I need your thighs on either side of my head while I drown in you," he says it so nonchalantly, letting out a sigh but you just stare at him for a moment before he glances back at you.

"Come on, baby. I know you want to leave me. Let me prove to you how I can worship this body like no other man will be able to. Let me make you want to stay," he's practically begging which is very uncharacteristic of him and you approach him slowly. He sits up when you reach him and reaches towards you, pulling your shorts down your legs.

He gently kisses up your thigh before planting two more on either one of your hip bones. He grips your hips, his thumbs rubbing over the same spot his lips just were. He begins to fall back again, pulling you with him until he has pulled you over his face.

"The only thing I want you to remember is my name. If that means making you cum over and over until the sun comes up, then that's what I'll do," his voice is low and he suddenly pulls you down, his warm mouth making contact with your pussy that he has been craving all night.

Changbin- Friends

And what the hell were we?

Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, no

But I'm not hurt, I'm tense....

"Binnie? are you home?" Your voice cracks over the phone and Chnagbin immediately sits up in the chair at your tone.

"I'm at the studio. What's going on? Are you alright?" His voice is full of concern and you feel more tears well up behind your eyes.

"Even closer. Is it okay if I come see you? Just for a little bit. I..." you trail off, taking a deep breath, "I have had a bad night and I just want to see you," your voice softens and he feels a small smile make its way to his face.

"Of course. I'll meet you in the lobby," he confirms and stands from his chair to make his way down to where he knows you're walking in. It'll be easier for him to guide you in personally since you don't have a visitor pass.

When the elevator dings, your head immediately snaps towards the sound. Changbin walks off the elevator, looking the epitome of relaxed and sexy. You gulp as you let your eyes drag down the shirt around his buff arms.

"Have you been crying?" His voice echos in your head as he closes the gap between you two. You reach up and gently touch your cheek. You find dry residue, obvious evidence of tears. When had you cried? You know you wanted to but you didn’t realize that you actually had.

"I guess I have been," you reply, your voice completely deflated and he wraps his arms around your shoulders tightly. You don't have the energy to hug him back and instead let out a sigh, allowing your head to fall into his neck.

You close your eyes and take a deep inhale. His scent instantly invades your senses and relaxes you. You have been best friends for years and sometimes just being with him is enough to calm you.

"Come on," he wraps an arm around your shoulders and guides you to the elevator. The entire ride is silent. You were completely caught in your head by your own thoughts. You barely even notice when you're gently guided to sit on the couch. Changbin sits beside you and grabs your hands in your lap, making you turn to face him.

He closes the few inches in front of you and presses his lips to yours. You sigh into the familiarity of the kiss and let your hands squeeze his tighter.

"Y/n, what happened? You can tell me," he whispers, carefully choosing his words in case you start crying again.

"Do you think I'm a slut?" you ask suddenly and he immediately drops his eyebrows to a furrow, shaking his head.

"What are you…" he cuts himself off and you run your hand through your hair messily, letting out a low cuss under your breath as more angry tears spring to your eyes.

"I was on a date and this guy... fuck! And this guy tried to kiss me. I swerved it and he went off on me. Telling me about how he only asked me on a date for some ass. Claiming that I fucked his friend last week and- why are you looking at me like that?" You interrupt yourself when you notice how tense Changbin has become.

"You fucked someone else? You went on a date?" Changbin questions, suddenly becoming much more angry than he was before he said the words out loud.

"Yes? Why wouldn't I?" He snatches his hands from yours and stands, walking towards his desk and leaning over it. He slams his fist down, making a few pencils drop to the ground and making you jump from your spot behind him.

"Binnie, are you-"

"Don't." He whips his body around to face you, pointing an accusatory finger at you, "Don't fucking call me that. What the fuck, y/n? We have been fucking each other for months. How many other people were you fucking?" His voice is suddenly loud and you're sure it would be echoing throughout the hallway if you weren't in the studio.

"Wait... Changbin. We're best friends. It isn't supposed to be exclusi-"

"Best friends.” he scoffs before continuing, “Maybe you are a slut. One cock isn't enough for you that you had to go let yourself be fucked by however many other people?" His words are laced with venom and you blink at him a few times before standing up and grabbing your bag.

"Fuck you, Changbin." You spit out before storming from the room.

Hyunjin- HEAVEN AND BACK

She's high

She lives in the sky

Tonight, she's satisfied

Rolling back her eyes

But then she starts to cry

Everything is turning to black

All in one night

She just went to heaven and back

"Fuck, Jinnie. Don't stop," you moan out, pushing your friend(?) and his heavenly tongue deeper between your legs. His tongue had been ravishing for what felt like hours but also felt so good, like nothing you have ever felt before. Although it felt like hours, it had only been a few minutes.

His licks a long stripe up your sopping cunt before kissing up your body and stops at your nipples, taking one into his mouth and using his fingers to play with the other.

"N-no more teasing. Just fuck me already. Please?" you whimper out and he chuckles pushing back onto his heels and lining himself up with your entrance. His slowly pushes in, causing you both to let out a groan at the feeling.

"Fuck, darling. You feel so fucking good wrapped around me," he groans out, his head falling back in pure pleasure and absolute ecstasy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he slowly picks up the pace.

Suddenly, he bottoms out and you yelp, immediately beginning to shake at the feeling. It was borderline painful but you also felt so full and it’s felt so good.

"Yeah. You like that, don't you?" he asks again and you nod mindlessly, already feeling like you've reached the clouds. Hyunjin feels like he could die a happy man, completely content being balls deep in your perfect cunt, made just for him.

He drops to his elbows on either side of your head and you instinctively wrap your own arms around his neck. He grabs your chin and gently pulls your face towards him, making your eyes pop open. His eyes meet yours and then he suddenly stops, complete silence falling in the air.

"Are you high?" he suddenly asks and you blink at him a few time, opening your mouth to reply but he sits up, falling back onto his heels and pulling out of you. You shiver at the loss of warmth and sit up on your elbows to look at him.

"Hyunjin, it isn't-"

"Don't tell me it isn't what I think. I see you more fucked up than sober nowadays, fuck. Do you not see that you have a fucking problem? I ask you to be sober for one fucking night and you can't even do it. This is pitiful, y/n," his voice is full of anger and you don't even think he notices the way he's switching between languages, making your brain spin.

"Baby, pick a language. I can't follow what you're saying," you sit up and reach forward to cup his cheek but he pulls away from your touch, stands, and pulls his pants up his legs then his hoodie over his head.

You feel the tears immediately come to your eyes and start to pour down your cheeks. You don’t even really know why you’re crying. Maybe it’s because this moment between the two of you got ruined or maybe it’s because you can tell how pissed he is at you.

"Baby what are you-"

" 'Baby, this. Baby, that'. Just stop talking. Stop. Fucking. Talking," His voice raises and more tears pour from your eyes. You hurriedly grab the t shirt you were wearing from the floor, which happens to be his, and pull it over your head.

"I don't understand why you're so mad. This doesn't have anything to do with you! It doesn't effect you," your voice is slightly shaky but you finish the sentence nonetheless, making him scoff and run his hands down his face.

"Because I fucking love you. I love you more than anything and I want you to love yourself even half as much as I do," his voice is quieter again and you bring your face down to your hands as the tears keep pouring from your eyes.

"Why are you crying?" His voice breaks you from your quiet sobs and you look up. He's already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Are you leaving me?" you ask quietly and he sighs, looking at the door then back at you again.

"We aren't together. How could I leave someone I never had in the first place," he walks towards you and tilts your chin up. He uses his sleeves to wipe the tears from your soaked cheeks and you just look up at him, eyes bloodshot and dilated.

"I'm so disappointed in you, angel. I thought I meant more to you than your substances but it seems I can't compete," a sad smile covers his face and he exhales gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You quickly reach out and wrap your arms around his waist.

"You do, Jinnie. I'm okay. I promise. I can stop when I want," you swear to him but he doesn't reply. He grabs both of your arms from behind his back and pries you off of him before taking a few steps back.

"I'll wait for you, y/n. In the future, when you love yourself, come find me," he replies before turning and walking towards the door. You quickly throw yourself from the bed and chase after him.

"Hyunjin! Wait! I-I-" you're interrupted by your front door slamming shut in front of your face.

Han- Meddle About

Cause it's not just a figure of speech

You got me down on my knees

It's getting harder to breathe out

We only met each other just the other day

But you already got me feeling some type of way

Now if I could figure it out

I'd take you back to my house

So we could meddle about

Jisung's breath hitches in his throat when he sees you at the bar. His heart immediately starts pounding in his chest and he turns away, locking eyes with Chan next to him.

"That's her. She's right there at the bar, hyung. What do I do?" Jisung feels like his heart might actually leap out of his chest. Chan glances over at the bar but he can't figure out exactly who Jisung is talking about.

"Leather skirt. Mesh shirt," Jisung whispers to Chan, still not turning to look at you. Chan can't stop the chuckle from falling from his lips.

"You really are down bad. You looked at her for a total of 3 seconds and know exactly what she has on. Any other details you noticed?" he teases and nudges Jisung but he's too thrown off to realize Chan is joking.

"Red lipstick, red hair clip," he adds on and Chan's mouth drops open. He's never seen his friend so infatuated over a girl in all their years of knowing each other. What had you done to him?

"Would it freak you out if I said she's heading this way or would that be a good thing?" Chan leans over to whisper to his friend. Jisung's eyes grow wide but before he can reply, your honey voice rips through the music at the club.

"Hi, Jisung. It's good to see you," your voice went straight to his cock and he can't help remembering all the filthy things you had said to him the other night. The things you were whispering in his ear while he was balls deep in you.

"H-Hi. How are you?" He clears his throat and you giggle, sitting yourself down next to him as your friend sits on the other side of Chan, making a friend of her own to give you and Jisung a bit more privacy.

"I've been thinking about you," he suddenly blurts out and instantly regrets it when your perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise but the look is instantly replaced with a smug smirk.

He's so fucking cute.

"Oh? What have you been thinking about?" you inquire and wrap your lips around your straw. Jisung can't stop himself of looking. He remembers the way those same lips were wrapped around him. The way he was down your throat. The way your perfectly manicured hands were rubbing him in a way in which nobody had, not even himself.

He gulps deeply and glances at your eyes again. Your’s are already trained on his. His big, sparkly, chocolate, doe eyes had you in a chokehold like no other. You wanted nothing more than to bring him to tears again and he wanted nothing more than for you to bring him to tears again.

"Everything. You've invaded my mind," he suddenly confesses, a bit of a dazed look in his eyes. You let out a light chuckle as you lean over, placing your glass on the table. Jisung's eyes trail over your back and then he finally eyes your legs, stunning thighs and calves. He wants to worship you so badly, show you exactly how you should be treated.

"Oh really? Does it bother you that I've invaded your mind?" you ask, sweetly before resting your hand on his knee. You turn towards him and rest your other arm on the back of the couch, letting your head fall into your hand. You look almost bored, not entertained by Jisung in the slightest but you know that the slick in your panties was an indicator of just how much this boy had also invaded your mind.

He gulps again and adjusts in his seat. You let your hand fall from your head and reach forward, gently playing with the longer hair at the base of his skull.

"As pretty as you are, my Jisungie, I asked you a question," you speak up and let your hand gently trail up the back of his head until your fingers dig into his head and you tug on his hair, rough enough that it definitely hurt but not rough enough for anyone to notice.

"Do you like that I have invaded your mind, my pretty boy?" you ask again and scoot closer, placing a wet kiss to his throat. You pull away and the slight red residue from your lipstick makes you smile to yourself.

"Yes. I like it," he replies and you look up into his glazed over eyes again before releasing your grip slightly in his hair and your other hand makes it's way up his thigh more before brushing lightly against his bulge. His takes a sharp inhale of breath and you chuckle.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, mommy," his reply is instant and almost pathetic. Gosh, you want nothing more than to just have him on his knees for you again, begging to eat your pussy.

Felix- Consume

She said, "Careful, or you'll lose it"

But girl, I'm only human

And I know there's a blade where your heart is

And you know how to use it

And you can take my flesh if you want, girl

Felix knows she isn’t his. That doesn’t stop him from feeling green (GREENGREEN lol) with jealousy. Seeing you wrapped around someone else, your tongue down some strangers throat that he has never seen before.

“Lix, calm down,” Hyunjin’s voice sounds from behind him but Felix doesn’t even pay the man a glance.

“It’s not fair. She’s mine,” Felix groans out and Hyunjin pats him on the back before looking over to Minho with a ‘help me’ look in his eyes. Minho clears his throat before leaning towards the pair so they can hear him over the party’s music.

“If she’s your’s, then why are his hands all over her ass?” Minho’s voice is casual and Hyunjin swears he could have slapped him in that moment.

“You dumbass! That isn’t what he needs to hear!” Hyunjin practically yells but after at his older friend, though it’s all background noise to Felix. He stands abruptly and marches over to you. He puts his hands in the back of your jeans and pulls you away from the man who is standing dazed by your lips.

“Piss off, mate,” Felix’s voice is full of anger and jealousy and the man blinks at him once before scurrying away. You let your body lay back slightly, resting against Felix’s chest. His hand instinctively wraps around your waist and his hand splays possessively across ur stomach.

“Lixie. I’ve missed you,” as soon as your voice makes it’s way to his ears, he feels like he could melt into you. You have him absolutely wrapped around your finger and you know it. He knows that you know it and just lets you use him in whatever way you want.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he pulls you tighter against him, “Who the hell was that?” Felix’s deep voice rings through your ear and he places a gently kiss just below your ear.

“Mm. Forgot. I just wanted your attention,” you confess and push back against Felix, your ass bumping against his cock, begging to be in you.

“Well you have it. I should fuck you right here so you remember who you belong to, sweet girl,” he grumbles into your ear before sucking slightly on the same spot he had just kissed, leaving a hickey, marking his territory.

“Oh, my love, you know I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We’ve been over this,” you turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. He tucks both of his hands in the back pockets of your jeans as you make eye contact.

You reach up and tuck his hair gently behind his ear before leaning in and pressing your lips against his, he immediately kisses you back and licks the seam of your lips, asking for entrance. You let his tongue into your mouth and he immediately pulls away.

He can taste a liquor on your breath that he knows for a fact you don’t like, then he remembers why he stormed over here in the first place.

“I can taste that fucker on your breath,” he growls out and you chuckle, only making him angrier.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. Do you want me to brush my teeth or are you just going to kiss me until all his taste is gone? It’s your choice,” you reply and twist his hair around your fingertips gently.

He probably looks pitiful right now to any onlookers. He probably looks like some guy who is completely whipped by a girl that doesn’t even want him and just had her tongue down some different guy’s throat. But honestly, Felix couldn’t care less.

He presses his lips against yours again and you kiss for a few minutes before you grab his hand and place it over your racing heart.

“If I give you a piece of this, will you be careful with it?” You ask, touching your forehead against his before pulling back and looking into his eyes again.

“Give me the whole thing and I promise I won’t lose it. I’ll be careful,” he swears, no trace of a smile on his face.

He wants nothing more than to have just a tiny corner of your heart since you were already taking up the entirety of his.

Seungmin- Tidal Wave

Passion drippin' off the wall, baby

Damn, you make it easy

And drop a little acid on our tongues, baby

We can make it freaky

Don't you think about turning the lights out

I want them to see this

And I say fuck the rules and let 'em find out

But that's just how I'm feelin'

“S-slow down (wink). I c-can’t stay quiet like this,” you whimper out but your boyfriend doesn’t listen. Instead, he leans forward, his chest pressed to your back and his cock impossibly deep in you.

You can’t stop the groan that leaves your mouth, a mix of pleasure and pain forcing the noise from you. He places a kiss on the back of your shoulder then sits up again. His hands gently rub down the arch of your back. The beauty that is you is truly out of this world and he can’t help but just look sometimes.

“Minnie, move,” your voice is whiny and Seungmin lets out a deep chuckle behind you.

“I thought you wanted me to slow down. Now you want me to speed up? Needy little thing, aren’t ya?” his voice is laced with a condescending tone and you clench around him. He suddenly pulls out completely and in one quick motion he flips you to your back and scoots down the bed, his head between your legs.

“What are you doing?” you question, your voice slightly shaky from the constant teasing.

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to eat this pretty little pussy until you have no choice but to scream for me,” He raises his eyebrows at you as a blush radiated up your neck and to your face.

“But… they’ll hear. They’ll know,” you whisper shout at him. His band mates were scattered throughout the house. If you get quiet enough, you could hear them. From what you could tell, two of them seemed to be playing some kind of video game together and another was in the kitchen, listening to music and probably cleaning.

“Good. That’s fine with me,” he suddenly replies and plunges a finger into you. Your back arches off the bed and you bite down on your lip to stop the moan.

“B-but you said-”

“I changed my mind. After seeing the way they were looking at your ass in those pants today, I want to make it clear to them that you belong to me and nobody else,” he speaks up and glances down at where his finger is knuckle deep in your pussy before adding another finger.

His lingering gaze makes you nervous and you subconsciously close your thighs, trying to hide yourself from him. This quickly earns you a gentle slap to the inside of your thigh and a firm grip prying your legs back open.

“Why are you looking so much? Let’s turn the lights off. I’m getting shy,” you mumble out which causes a smug smile to break across your boyfriend’s face.

“Never. I love looking at this sweet cunt. All mine too, isn’t that right, baby?” he asks as he slowly begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You groan and bite down on your lip again but Seungmin moves his hand from it’s spot on your thigh and pulls your lip from between your teeth. He pats your cheek, not enough to be considered a slap but definitely a warning.

“I asked you a question, pup. Don’t tell me my babydoll is already fucked out. I haven’t even made you scream yet,” he gives a fake pout and you groan again.

“All your’s baby. I’m all yours,” you ramble as he speeds his fingers up inside of you.

“Who do you belong to? Say my name.” He demands as he starts to curl his fingers inside of you. He leans forward and licks your clit, making you jump at the contact and he chuckles, the vibrations ricocheting throughout your body.

“Fuck, Seungmin,” you moan out and he slaps the outside of your thigh before kneading the flesh and pulling his mouth away slightly.

“Louder, princess,” he commands and dives back in. He feels you clench around him before suddenly you’re cumming all over his face and fingers.

“Seungmin! Fuck. Don’t stop. Feels so good!” You finally scream out as you grind your face against his tongue, riding out your high.

“Call me what you like to call me,” he demands, another shit eating, smug grin on his face. His fingers are still pumping in and out of you and starting to send you into overstimulation.

“Mmm, daddy! Please slow down! ‘S too much,” you slur your words together and a smirk covers his face as he kisses each of your thighs then climbs back up your body, slowly pulling his soaking wet fingers from inside of you.

“Now I’m going to fuck you and I want you to keep screaming my name just like that. I don’t even want them to think about ever looking at what’s mine again,” he bites down on the skin covering your collarbone, making you buck your hips against him.

“Do I make myself clear?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes and you nod. He raises his eyebrows at you, a warning, “Words, darling. Use your words,” he adds on and you clear your throat

“Yes, sir. Crystal clear,” you nod and her kisses you gently on the forehead before sinking back into you, your wet cunt pulling him with ease.

I.N- Right Here

It's happening again

Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends

I'm right here, here

Oh baby take a look around

I'm the only one that hasn't walked out

I'm right here, here

Hearing the door slams makes you jump at your spot on the couch. You weren't expecting your boyfriend today, but he's the only one who knows your code so it has to be him.

"Innie?" your voice echos. You hear him slip his shoes off before you see your boyfriend walk into the room you're in. His hair looks disheveled like he had been running his hands through it and his face looks wild.

"Innie? What's wrong? What happened?" You immediately snap your book closed and turn your body towards him. He runs his hands through his hair and that's when you notice the bruises on his hands and arms.

"Yang Jeongin. What happened to you?" You jolt up from your seat and walk towards him. You grab him by the elbow and pull him towards the kitchen, flipping the light on as you enter. You turn again and look over your boyfriend's hands.

"Have you been fighting?!" You exclaim and finally meet his eyes. They're unusually cold, the subtle shine when he usually looks at you no where in sight.

"I heard that jackass talking about you. Your ex," his words have a bite behind them and he clenches his jaw. He had seen your ex? He only knows of one ex, he would only recognize the face of one of your exes.

He's a more recent ex. You two only dated for about five months but he took well to the friend group so he has kind of stuck around since you broke up. You ended things amicably and besides it being awkward for a few hangouts with everyone, the two of you were able to put the relationship behind you and be around each other comfortably.

"What does he have to do with anything? Was it him? You fought him?" You start rattling off questions, studying his expressionless face.

"I did," his reply is curt and his eyes finally meet yours again. You have shock all over your face. This can't be happening.

"Jeongin! Your reputation, your career. You have things to worry about. Why would you even fight that guy?" your voice is shaky as you try to organize your thoughts and understand exactly what could have sent him over the edge.

"He was talking to that girl he's been dating. You should've heard him, y/n. God! I fucking hate that guy. If I ever get my hands on him again, I swear I'll k-"

"Stop!" You interrupt him and slap your hand over his mouth to stop his words, "What was he saying? I still don't understand, baby," you use the pet name in hopes that it'll help calm him down. His eyes soften slightly and you pull your hand from his mouth.

"He was talking about how uptight you are. And calling you a bitch and all kinds of names. Told her that you 'gave up your pussy for any man that had a black card'. As if his money isn’t all daddy’s money. That piece of shit hasn't worked for anything in his life," he slams the side of his fist against the wall.

He turns to you again and places his hands over your shoulders but you're staring into space. He said all that about you? Why would he say that? You thought the two of you ended on good terms so what's with the shit talk now?

"Listen to me, babe. You don't need them. You only need me. You always catch them hanging out without you and talking shit. Fuck them. Just me and you. Is that okay? Does that sound good?" His voice is almost pleading and you meet his eyes again. You feel hurt about what he's telling you but at the same time...are you surprised?

"Okay," your voice is barely more than a whisper and Jeongin places his finger under your chin, tilting your head to face him.

"Okay," he replies and places his forehead against your's. You let out a shaky breath then he places both hands on your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

Jeongin can’t help the feeling of satisfaction in finally having you completely to himself. He doesn’t care if the mentality is toxic but he wants to be all that you ever need. He wants to be everything to you without anyone else standing in the way.

imma start putting a lil author’s note at the end tee hee. i just wanna say that possessive felix>>>. mega fuckin heart eyes bruv. also seungmin is soo pull out, eat it, put it back in and i cant explain why. source: just trust me.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

I'm Your Man - Robert 'Rosie' Rosenthal x OFC - Chapter 13

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 |-| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19

AO3

Summary: As D-Day looms, Frankie fights not to feel the pressure

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 3.4k

Tags: @mads-weasley @xxluckystrike @curaheehee @footprintsinthesxnd @dcyllom @storysimp @latibvles @love-studying58 @justheretoreadthxxs

A/N: WE'RE BACK!! sorry this chapter took a while! I was finishing up with uni and everything has been sooo hectic, but please enjoy this! <3

The runway had never seemed so alive, not even on a mission day - men scurrying back and forth, unloading supplies this way and that, mechanics swarming around the planes like moths to a flame. With D-Day on the immediate horizon, time was of the essence, and no one wanted to be the person to fuck it up.

Frankie had clambered into the wheel well of one of the bombers, invisibly from the waist up to any passersby as she worked away, tightening bolts and ensuring the landing mechanisms were all working perfectly. A screwdriver clenched between her teeth, hand stained with grease, sweat plastered stray wisps of hair to her temples, the afternoon heat exacerbated by the pressure of their work. "Bevan!" One of the officers called as he marched over, face growing visible through the gap in the metal below her. "Bevan, I swear to god, I need you to come look at the temperature bulbs, I've asked you already, will you please-"

Letting out a huff, she pulled the screwdriver from her mouth, leaning back on one elbow as she stared down at the man. She couldn't remember his name. "Calm the fuck down, alright? I've told you I'll get to it - I'll fucking get to it. I've done my time in customer service, love - if you yell at me, I'm not doing it."

With a scoff, the officer began to walk away, muttering to himself about professionalism as he went. If anything, Frankie was just glad she didn't actually work for the Americans. She didn't quite know what she'd have done if she couldn't ignore them. Resuming her work, she grunted as she tightened another bolt, humming mindlessly as she began to murmur the words to her tune, brow furrowed in concentration.

"Never saw the sun shinin' so bright, never saw things lookin' so right... hmm hm hmm... blue days, all of 'em gone..."

"Hello!" Another voice called, loud and jovial and making Frankie jump, accidentally smacking her forehead against one of the metal support bars as she whipped her head around.

"Shit!"

"Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry," ATS Private Maeve Scarrow called from the tarmac below, expression pinched in sympathy as she peered up from under the brim of her cap. "It's just, uh - I've got the replacement fan blades you asked for in the truck."

"No worries," She grunted, rubbing at the sore spot, already feeling a bruise begin to bloom. "Thanks, Maeve. Just leave 'em there, I'll get 'em."

"Okay! Oh, and Lemmons is just... sorta standing here. I don't know if you know about that."

Brow furrowed, Frankie crouched down on her ladder, momentarily re-emerging from within the plane's wing. "What do you want?"

Ken stood in polite, patient silence, hands folded behind his back until she addressed him. "You hungry?"

"... What?"

Raising one hand, he produced a paper bag from behind his back. "Got sandwiches. Want one?"

She hadn't realised how starving she was until the prospect of food was presented, and suddenly her stomach was growling. "Yes," Frankie nodded, and he stepped forward, holding one of the sandwiches up to her mouth so that she could eat without touching anything, her hands still utterly filthy.

"This is all... weird, right?" She asked after a moment of silence, mouth still full.

"What's weird?" Ken frowned, biting off the corner of her sandwich.

"Yunno - we've been waiting for this for ages, and now it's actually happening and it feels... surreal."

"Big day, that's for sure," He nodded. "It just... it better work, s'all."

"It will."

"Didn't know you were such an optimist."

"Times change, Ken," Frankie shrugged, craning her head forward to take another bite.

Lemmons smiled softly. "... So. How's your guy?"

Pausing to chew, she nodded along as he spoke. "Yeah, he's good - I think being a Major suits him. He likes feeling like he can actually help the new guys, yunno?"

"You ain't worried?"

"Always. But you work through it." Frankie's brow furrowed, looking down to scratch at the dirt beneath her nails. Reaching out, Ken squeezed her shoulder gently, and she met his eye with a smile.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I'm gonna be honest with you here, I think this is a terrible idea," George stated, placing a fresh cup of coffee on the corner of Crosby's desk as she passed on the way to her own. Blakely was perched on the edge of her desk, peering at the papers in his hands and looking up with a warm smile as she approached. The pair had spent the last two days watching Crosby with expressions of increasing concern as exhaustion steadily took a greater and greater toll on the man.

"George, I just gotta get these maps done," Harry sighed, dragging a hand through his hair to scrape it out of his face.

"Not sure I'd wanna fly with maps made by a guy who was practically comatose when he did 'em," Everett pointed out. "Just sayin'."

She nodded in agreement. "This whole 'macho man' 'I-can-do-anything' bullshit is a little embarrassing, Croz. At this point you've either gotta take a serious nap or snort some coke if you wanna keep going."

"You're both very unhelpful," Crosby grumbled, hunched forwards so far over his maps that they could barely see his face.

"Oh, and Kidd wants you in his office," George added. Throwing up his hands in despair, Harry rose to his feet, taking the coffee with him as he left the room, muttering to himself.

Shrugging, she turned on her heel with a sigh, brushing against Blakely's knee as she returned to her seat at the desk. He was silent for a long moment, flicking through the file in his hand until he spoke. "... So this is bad, right?"

"Oh, definitely."

"Great, just checking... D'you wanna get dinner when we're done with all this?"

An involuntary grin made its way across George's face, a surprised bubble of laughter escaping her throat. "You mean after the invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe?"

"Well, yeah. Future of the free world's relying on George Aarons, I won't deprive 'em."

She beamed, fighting to suppress a giggle as her cheeks flushed a deep pink. Ev glanced over at her when she wasn't looking, a smirk curling his lip. George resumed her work, tapping away at the typewriter keys to distract herself, still feeling his gaze on her, shaking her head slightly in mock disapproval at such blatant a flirt.

After a short while, Crosby emerged from Kidd's office, and - if possible - he appeared in even worse shape than he had mere minutes ago, swaying on his heels as he took one wobbly step after another, eyes barely half-open. Still lingering at George's desk, the pair watched him wander out with shared frowns of concern, awaiting what suddenly seemed inevitable.

"Is he-?"

"Yep."

Before he could take his next step, Harry teetered and keeled over to one side, hitting the floor with an audible thud as those around him leapt to their feet in his aid. Exchanging a pointed look, Blakely stood up, bending down to whisper in George's ear before he too went to help. "If you're gonna laugh, you gotta do it outside."

Raising her hands in surrender, her expression contorted with mocking disbelief. "I'm not going to laugh!" She protested, and he furrowed his brow at her before heading towards where Crosby lay unconscious.

Scarcely a minute passed before Everett noticed her again, crossing the room towards the door, jaw clenched tightly as she visibly suppressed a smile. He chuckled, shaking his head.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Frankie's back rested up against the outside of the mechanics' hut, the sun heating the metal so that the warmth seeped through her clothes, legs crossed and tucked beneath herself as she sat cross-legged in the grass. A newspaper lay unfurled across her lap, creasing itself over her knees as she surveyed its contents, rarely making it beyond the headlines and pictures. The movement of a shadow across the lawn caught her eye, and looking up, a grin began to crease her cheeks as she noticed Rosie making his way towards her, hands folded behind his back.

"Aha!" Frankie exclaimed, calling over to him. "Welcome to the feast. We've got, uh... some crackers! And... this carrot," She nodded, holding up the half-eaten carrot in her hand.

"You're just gnawing on that like a rabbit, huh?" He smiled, pausing as he reached her and positioning himself between her and the sun, casting her in shadow so that she didn't have to squint.

"The propaganda posters say they help you see in the dark," She shrugged, patting the grass beside her so that he would sit down. Rosie let out a grunt as he lowered himself onto the ground, pulling his hand out from behind his back to reveal a fistful of freshly picked poppies. A faint squeak of surprise escaped her, eyes widening slightly at the flowers as she took another bite of her carrot, tossing her newspaper to one side, swiftly forgotten. "Where'd you get those?"

"There's a whole bunch a few fields over, just bloomed these last couple days. George told me they're your favourite the first time I met her, but I could never find any."

Frankie frowned slightly. "Why'd she tell you that?"

Head lolling to the side, Rosie raised a brow. "Why'd you think, honey?"

She slowly began to nod. "Fair enough. Y'know-" She said, wagging her finger at him. "-I did know you had a crush on me back then."

He scoffed loudly, head shaking side to side in dissent. "What? No you didn't!"

"Of course I did! You weren't as slick as you thought you were, buddy."

"No, no - you don't get to talk. You almost kissed me one time and you ran away and refused to talk to me for weeks."

"That was way later!" Frankie cried. "That is not the same thing!"

Rosie laughed, pressing his shoulder against hers. "Whatever - just shut up and take your flowers, okay?" He grinned, holding the bouquet out to her.

She let out a chuckle, reaching out for them. "Thank you, dear."

"Yeah, yeah, love you," He jokingly rolled his eyes, leaning in to press a quick kiss to her lips. Humming, he pulled away slightly, their noses still touching. "You smell bad."

"All for you, sweetheart," Frankie teased, and he laughed before going in for another kiss. She broke away with a grin, shifting sideways to rest her head against his shoulder, rolling the stem of one of the poppies between her finger and thumb.

"I got a call from George earlier... Apparently Croz is out for the count - passed out right in the middle of the office."

"Holy shit," Rosie's brow furrowed, bolting upright, and was about to make to stand when she put a hand on his arm, bringing him back down.

"Nah, he just needs to sleep. She was pissing herself on the phone, so he's fine," Frankie chuckled slightly, recalling George's laughter as she had described the way the navigator 'absolutely ate shit' in vivid detail. Once Rosie had settled, steadily accepting that his friend wasn't in need of help, he nestled back against the wall of the hut, stretching his arms out to wrap them around her shoulders, tugging her tight against his chest as she smiled.

"Called my dad last night - he asked me to make sure you're feelin' good before tomorrow."

"Oh, your dad wants to know, huh?" He asked incredulously, peering down at her with a raised brow and a smirk. Frankie was practically lying across his lap, his arms a vice grip around her shoulders, allowing just enough movement for her to reach up and twist the stray curl hanging against his forehead around the tip of her finger.

"Look, I know you'll be fine - you're a fuckin' pro," She tittered. "I think he's just concerned you'll condemn me to spinster-hood if anything goes wrong tomorrow."

"It would certainly be a loss to the world if no one ever got to see you in a wedding dress," Rosie teased, squeezing gently at the flesh of her arm.

"Oh piss off," She snorted, batting at his hand. "You think I couldn't find someone else to take me if you go down in a blaze of glory? I'm a catch."

"Awful. Horrible," He shook his head, letting her go as she let out a guffaw, resting on her back across his thighs. "Terrible - you're a terrible wife."

Frankie shrugged. "Could find someone who wouldn't call me a terrible wife n'all." Rosie reached around to the side of her stomach, digging a knuckle into the ticklish patch of skin above her waist, and she let out a shriek, kicking out her legs as she pushed herself upright, his expression creasing as he laughed. She opened her mouth wide in fake outrage, smacking him across the chest with the back of her hand. Before she could retract it, he seized her wrist, placing a kiss to her palm as she echoed his laughter.

It was easier to exist like this. At least, she knew it was for him. To simply be, to pretend nothing was coming - to put on a brave face and ignore the fact that tomorrow he would get into his plane and that, like every other time, there was a chance he wouldn't come back. Living in the future, in the 'what-if?', was going to kill them both eventually. It was easier to act like nothing was coming, and open themselves to the consequences once it was over. To mop up the blood at the end of a long day spent pretending they didn't know it would always be there.

She knew that Rosie needed this. He'd never ask, but he needed someone who didn't look to him for answers and wisdom and a plan to do the impossible. He needed Frankie to make him laugh, to give him a tiny sliver of time where he wasn't a Major or a pilot or the guy who flew twenty-five goddamn missions and came straight back for more - he was just Rosie. She could do that. She could make that her job. It was easy to do when she was doing it for him. As easy as breathing.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The planes had left three hours ago. In the officers' club, a radio had been set up atop the bar, playing the BBC broadcast since eight o'clock that morning, chairs clustered in a tight semi-circle as people listened in, desperate to catch every development. George had popped in on her break, lingering by the door for just long enough to notice Frankie's absence. The other mechanics had all assembled, functionally inert until the planes returned, but she had not been among them. Ken met George's eye from across the room and shrugged, silently confirming that he hadn't seen her. In an instant, she knew exactly where to look.

Frankie looked up as the door to their hut swung open, smiling at George as she entered from where she sat cross-legged upon the bed, shoes discarded in a heap on the floor. Her bouquet of poppies had spent the night in a vase on the bedside table, but now she was taking scissors to the stems, chopping them down and splaying the petals neatly upon the pages of her book.

There was no need to ask. George knew she was distracting herself, knew exactly what she was doing with the flowers - preserving them as a manifestation of the subconscious fear that Rosie wouldn't be coming back to give her any more. Wordlessly, she crossed the room towards her bed, reaching underneath it to retrieve the heftiest hardback she owned, so heavy that the mattress creaked as she put it down beside Frankie. She looked up at her, brow raised.

"That one's heavier. It'll press them flatter."

"Thanks," She smiled, beginning to transfer the flowers from one book to the other. It was silent for a long while as she did this, and George perched on the edge of the mattress, feet dangling onto the floor.

"... I'm not hiding, or avoiding anything, by the way," Frankie pointed out, still staring down at her work.

"You think I'd fucking judge you if you were?" George frowned. "You do whatever you have to, I'm gonna be here either way."

She looked up at her then, the faintest of smiles curling her lip as she simply stared for a while.

"You're basically the love of my life."

"Well, obviously - who else was it gonna be?" George snorted, and Frankie began to grin, wordlessly passing over the last of the untouched poppies so that she could join in. With gentle fingers, they splayed each petal, sliding the flowers in place between the well-worn pages of George's book. It was undoubtedly an act of love. For whom, it didn't really matter.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Crosby's eyes opened slowly to the sound of laughter, a gentle afternoon breeze blowing across his cheek as he blinked against the sudden sunlight. His head lolled to the side as he gradually took in the scene around him, and for a moment no one noticed he'd even awoken. Rosie sat on the bed beside him, using his thumb to mark the page in his book as he looked up with a smile. The window had been propped all the way open, and Frankie leant her shoulder against the frame, arms folded across her chest as she chatted in hushed tones, George just visible beside her. The two women were forbidden from entering the men's huts, but with the window open so far and their bodies leaning through, they were practically inside anyway.

"Oh shit - the great navigator lives," George said, and Harry could practically hear the smirk in her voice. He blinked hard, trying to adjust his eyes well enough to make out the time on Rosie's watch as the Major grinned at him.

"What time is it?" He asked blearily, pushing himself up slowly on one elbow.

"Hmm, seven-thirty?" Frankie guessed, squinting as she peered up at the sky. Rosie nodded in confirmation.

A sudden jolt of adrenaline shot through him. Harry could picture his maps on the office table, just sitting there, painfully incomplete as the clock ticked each second steadily away. Before he even registered his movement, he was on his feet, scrambling for his clothes. "There's still time! There's still time, come on, goddammit - why are you all standing around!?" He barked, panic lacing his every word. They didn't have time for this - they needed to get to work right now. Why wasn't anybody moving?

George was the first to break, taking a step back from the window as a cackle erupted from her throat, followed almost simultaneously by Frankie as she let out a snort, face reddening with laughter. Even Rosie had begun to chuckle. Harry suddenly realised he wasn't wearing any trousers.

"Seven-thirty Saturday, Croz," Rosie explained, the two women still giggling like schoolgirls, collapsing back into hilarity each time they made eye contact with one another. The realisation that he had missed the day they'd all been working towards hit like a freight train, knocking the wind from Harry's lungs, and he was certain he would've been devastated had the others not been there, grinning back at him. They were okay - hell, they were smiling, seemingly happier than they had been in weeks. It was an immediate balm, soothing the burn before it even had time to swell.

Crosby took a deep breath, trying his hardest to summon any words that might relay the moment.

"... Can you two get outta here until I put some pants on?"

Frankie snorted again, and George nodded hurriedly, clearly trying not to slip back into laughter. The pair stepped away from the window, their muffled voices floating back on the wind as they wandered away, linked at the elbow, until they'd vanished from earshot. Letting out a huff, Harry rummaged around until he found some trousers, shooting Rosie a look as he tugged them up over his hips.

"... Why'd you let 'em in when I don't have any pants on, man?" He asked, throwing his hands up in despair.

Rosie's brow furrowed in momentary confusion. "Well, what d'you expect me to do when Frankie shows up?"

"Not let her in?"

He tilted his head to the side, raising a brow as if to say 'Really?'. Croz let out a long sigh. "Right. Yeah, I remember... You guys are weird."

Rosie just shrugged.

[burntsaltsblog]

shiny new toy

(felix catton\reader)

chapter one

details: a saltburn inspired short story.

content warning: profanity, explicit sexual content, and mentions of abuse (physical and mental)

MNI 18+

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　

"I'm sorry," I said with an evident crack in my voice as I sank my teeth into my lower lip to keep my emotions at bay. The last thing I needed was to break down in the middle of the quad.

"Save it," Eric, my boyfriend, snapped. "Your apologies don't mean shit."

His glare was lethal before turning to walk briskly toward the dining hall for lunch, and I hurried behind him, attempting to catch up. But I halted my movements when he whipped his head around, regarding me sternly.

"Don't follow me. You're not allowed to eat lunch with me today."

"But-"

"No. You can eat by yourself. That way, you'll finally learn your lesson."

My eyes stung with tears as I grew desperate not to be shunned by him, whimpering, "Please, Eric, I-"

Eric raised his hand above his head, and I instantly cowered back, trying to avoid the impending blow.

"Don't make me do it," He whispered darkly, referencing his hand in the air that could strike me at any moment.

Before I could form a coherent response, my boyfriend spun back around and continued on his way while I hastily wiped the few stray tears tumbling down my cheeks and glanced around the quad to ensure no one had seen what had transpired.

Students were lying down on the lush, green grass as they attempted to soak up the few rays of sunshine England rarely offered, and luckily, they all seemed completely unaware of my presence.

All except for one.

I almost hadn't noticed him. I was about to turn toward the library when we locked eyes. Deep brown. Warm like the sun and soft like the grass beneath our feet. He was beautiful. But I couldn't miss the look of pity on his face. 

My cheeks warmed when I realized that he had seen the altercation between Eric and me, and I was sure he considered me to be as pathetic as Eric did. Because I was...right?

My shoulders drooped in shame as I looked away from the beautiful stranger, but the sound of footsteps caused my eyes to shoot right back up, and I stared wide-eyed as the man gracefully swept over the emerald landscape in my direction. 

I ceased to move. I was utterly shocked that someone like him would approach someone like me willingly. 

"You alright?" His melodic voice washed over me, and a calmness accompanied it.

"What?" I asked, dazed and confused.

"I was just wondering if you were all right. I saw that bloke giving you a hard time and wanted to ensure I didn't need to straighten him out."

A surprised laugh bubbled up from my throat. The idea of anyone being able to straighten Eric out seemed preposterous. 

I regained my composure before replying. "Uh, no, everything is quite alright. My boyfriend is just having a bad day. School seems to be stressing him out at the moment."

I mentally applauded myself for how smoothly my lie rolled off my tongue while the the stranger regarded me curiously.

"You're American," he said, referring to my lack of an English accent.

"Yup," I answered, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.

"Well, does the American have a name?" he asked, teasing me gently. I couldn't miss the twinkle in his eyes as he waited for my reply. 

"Iris."

"Like the song?" He stepped forward, closing the distance between us. 

"Yeah, my parents were massive Goo Goo Dolls fans," I chuckled softly.

"Well, Iris, would you like to have lunch with us?" He threw his thumb over his shoulder, directing my attention to one of the groups of students sprawled out on the lawn.

"Oh, that's ok. I couldn't possibly intrude."

"Rubbish. You wouldn't be intruding at all," He said, slinging an arm over my shoulders. "Besides, someone's got to welcome you to this country properly because, by the looks of it, your boyfriend has not done a very good job."

I let him guide me towards his friends as I asked, "So, what's your name? It's only fair that you return the favor."

I lifted my chin, and our gazes clashed, causing my heart to beat erratically. 

"Felix." The name tumbled from his full lips, and I relished the sound of it. His name was perfect. Just like him.

We arrived at a tangled group of limbs on the grass. Felix's friends prattled on together as they lay in a small heap on the ground.

"Ignore them if they start bothering you," Felix whispered, leaning in close, "They can have a habit of coming on too strong. Especially Farleigh."

"Which one is Farleigh?" I wondered aloud

"You're about to find out." His breath tickled my neck as he drew his lips away from my ear. Tiny tingles danced down my spine, and goosebumps littered my skin most deliciously.

"And who do we have here?"

The question came from one of the two boys on the lawn. His skin glowed a golden brown, and his eyes swam with many questions.  

"This is Iris, and she will be having lunch with us today," replied Felix merrily. 

The one, who I assumed to be Farleigh, did little to hide his assessment of me. His dark eyes ran the length of my physique before a sly grin stretched across his face.

"Nice job, Lex. She's even prettier than the last one."

I didn't miss Felix's sharp glare at Farleigh but was quickly distracted by the other brunette boy as he attempted to pass his snicker off as a mere cough. He sat beside Farleigh but made no move to interject himself into the conversation. 

I loitered before them awkwardly. They didn't even know me, yet I could feel their judgment wafting off them potently. 

"Play nice, Farleigh," Felix chastised.

"My apologies," Farleigh replied as he rose to his full height. He stepped forward and courteously extended his hand. "I'm Farleigh, as I'm sure you've already figured out. And that's Oliver over there," he said, nodding his head towards the previously snickering boy who hadn't bothered to stand up.

"Just Ollie," he muttered from his place on the ground.

"Iris," I mumbled quietly.

Farleigh continued to hold my hand for several beats too long before Felix cleared his throat loudly. My hand was promptly dropped. 

Felix made himself comfortable on the thick grass before reaching up with his hand and gently tugging me down with him. 

"Where's V?" He asked as I gingerly sat beside him.

"Blowing her TA," Farleigh casually replied as he picked up today's paper and pretended to examine its various articles. 

"I knew you transferring here was a terrible idea. She's learning all your bad habits," Felix retorted.

Farleigh merely snorted before changing the subject to gossip about the World History Teacher. A student had found Mr. West's Grindr account, and now the pupil was threatening to tell his wife unless Mr. West gave him an A for the rest of the year. 

I resorted to picking the fraying cuff of my jeans out of sheer awkwardness and boredom. My eyes wandered the quad full of laughing, elated students before finally resting on the meager boy still seated beside Farleigh. His gaze flew back and forth between Felix and Farleigh as if he were watching a riveting tennis match. It was impossible not to miss the adoration and longing painted on his features. I felt his obvious emotions had nothing to do with Mr. West and everything to do with the two people in front of him. His silent reverence would convince one that he was in the presence of gods and not men.  

But maybe that's what they were to Oliver: gods, not mortals. 

"Sorry, I'm late!"

I whipped around to locate the voice that rang through the air and saw a majestic sight. Blonde hair flew behind a brightly smiling, pale girl as she hurtled towards our huddle on the ground. 

"It's about time, V," Farleigh said. "We were beginning to think Jason had kidnapped you."

It's Mr. Fellcraft," she corrected as she flounced down on the other side of Felix and made herself busy spreading her long, floral skirt around her on the earth.

"Yes, but it's Jason to you. And that's what matters," Farleigh countered. 

The girl known as "V" only responded with a scowl before returning her attention back to her skirt.

"V, we wouldn't tease you about it if it wasn't so glaringly obvious that you're shagging the guy. And as your brother, I need to know if everything is consensual because I will happily have a chat with the fellow if need be."

"Calm down, little brother. All is well. It's just a bit of fun.”

I wasn't sure I would regard hooking up with a teaching assistant as a "bit of fun."

"Besides," She said, "I don't particularly want to discuss my time with Mr. Fellcraft. I'd much rather talk about the girl sitting next to you, Felix, who looks like she'd rather be elsewhere."

Felix gave a small roll of his eyes before swiftly introducing me to his sister. 

"V, this is Iris. She's going to be joining us for lunch this afternoon. Iris, this is-"

"Venetia. Venetia Catton," she cut in before her brother could continue with the introduction. "The pleasure is all mine, I'm sure."

Venetia extended her hand, palm down, as if she expected me to kiss it. Unsure of what to do, I grasped the ends of her slender fingers in what appeared to be an uncoordinated handshake and she giggled at me as if I was a small, confused child who was too stupid for their own good.

I adverted my eyes as a quiet fell over the group, and breeze came by, sweeping my long, honey-colored hair off of my shoulders. 

"Let's head inside, yeah?" Felix asked, breaking the silence. "Since everyone is here."

"Everyone and a guest," Farleigh muttered under his breath as we all stood in unison.

I stuck close to Felix's side so as not to hear what other snarky things I was sure Farleigh and Venetia were saying about me. They walked several feet ahead with their heads bowed together, whispering back and forth. No wonder this group was so small. They obviously didn't like newcomers. 

Except for Felix. 

I looked up at him and found his eyes already settled on me. He offered a soft smile. "Don't mind them. We're all rather protective of each other, so new additions can be met with some skepticism."

"I don't know if I would call it skepticism. It seems more like downright disdain to me," I chuckled faintly.

"No," Felix replied, shaking his head adamantly. "Once they see how I've accepted you, they'll follow suit."

"Are you their leader or something?" I asked, suspicion and curiosity lacing my voice.

"Or something," He murmured, shifting his gaze straight ahead as we entered Oxford's primitive dining hall.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　

chapter index

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

[forbidding-souda]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do korekiyo, hajime and makoto with a shsl underground surgeon

I'm sorry if it's to much 🙏🏾

Shinguuji Korekiyo, Hajime Hinata and Makoto Naegi with a SHSL Underground Surgeon S/O

I rated american mary as 4 stars on letterboxd bc oh my goddd i love underground surgeon shit in high school i used to dream to be one.

straying from the usual formatting until I get my feeting in ykwim so this isn't gonna have the scenarios written in the indentation like i used to do. but i tried. also sorry if things are written incorrectly grammar and wording wise.

also guys send me requests rn so i can keep posting daily

-Mod Souda

Shinguuji Korekiyo

.

❤ The moment you two had your first conversation there was an immediate connection. Your actions are too vile for his sister's liking, but they were just vile enough for his. And you're very knowledgable about your studies, it's not as if you're working out of anger or malice towards normalcy. You're like him.

❤ He finds you two very similar.

❤ Oh how the two of you will have a blast talking about anatomy. You both are extremely educated and experienced in human anatomy, tearing into people, often 'fixing' them (if you believe it to be that way).

❤ Wait omg you'd be so good at finding victims for him. There can be a sweet lady who just wants teeth sharpening and you're like omg I have someone you'd want to meet.

You'll be taking off your latex gloves, wiping the blood from your face when he comes into your studio. "My dear," he announces himself so you won't get startled. As if he'd startle you anyway. You always know when people enter. He stares at the patient, alive but unconscious, on the table before glancing back at you. "I suppose you're busy?" "Depends," you turn away and focus yourself on wiping the bloody body next. "What do you need? Is it life or death?"

❤ You know about the gruesome things he can do and he knows about yours. Fairs fair. You're both doing illegal things.

❤ He finds most interest in the requests you've been given. People request you to remove their limbs? Their eyes? Their teeth? Humanity is so interesting...

❤ He'd rock a split tongue just saying.

❤ ^ Moaned.

❤ The first conversation was def you two mentioning niche body mod things from history. He wanted to use trivia to inform you on disturbing things but you'd be like "oh yeah I've done that before, easy peasy" and he's like you've what.

❤ On a cuter note, imagine teaching him all the surgical stitching patterns you know. If there's a tear in the pillow you can highkey fix it, just in a unique way.

❤ People from around the world come to you for commissions and you get to surprise them with your knowledge about their country and customs. It makes you even more popular. Where once you were admired, now you are loved. You make people feel at home.

❤ Morbid ass pictures hanging on the walls of your shared home. Crazy shit that both of you find beautiful.

❤ If you're the type to want a big wedding, imagine how insane the audience would appear to onlookers.

.

Hajime Hinata

.

❤ Yeah he knows an interesting group of people. He never thought Hope's Peak would be able to introduce him to such a versatile group. His class holds a lot of illegal activities, fair's fair. Whenever he wanted to avoid Fuyuhiko, somehow he'd end up in your view. No matter where he turned to run, there was somebody scary beside him. But unlike him, you didn't threaten him, you were kind. The stare you gave him had compassion.

❤ Everyone involved in Japanese street fashion and alternative cultures know your name. And as a man who is usually indoors, he hadn't the clue of you.

❤ You can't be too scary with the way Ibuki keeps fawning over your medical abilities like you're a superhero. And to make your credibility even more astonishing, Sonia was thoroughly pleased to hear all of the things you've done. Class 77-B would love you srry.

❤ ^ Ibuki immediately pulls up her phone to show Hajime how you gave her friend pointed ears.

❤ ^ He's like woahh I see the vision.

❤ You have a certain glow in your eyes when you get to explain your work to him. Sure, the elf ears are pleasing, but there are so many other things you can do.

❤ At least once a week you try to convince him to get some form of body mod. You should make a argumentative slideshow.

❤ Your hands are really steady. He notices this almost instantly. You have the steadiest hands he's ever seen, very different from how shaky Mikan can appear.

❤ ^ Oooo you wanna imagine you sitting on the bathroom counter doing his eyeliner so bad oooo.

❤ ^ "You'd look good with tatted eyes."

❤ ^ "No."

❤ Sometimes he'll catch you staring at him, and you do this thing where you tilt your head as if you're examining his features. You have a hawk-like stare. Though, when his eyes reach yours, you look away with a small smile. In some occasions it creeps him out but in others, he finds it flattering.

❤ You are often forced to hear the life stories of your clients, depending on their modification, some of them feel the need to justify their decision to you. It reminds you of how Hajime gets along with others so well. He's such a good listener and mediator.

❤ Last thing but. Listen okay so realistically how likely is it lore-wise that a SHSL Underground Surgeon would help implement Izuru. Very likely, right? Anywho.

.

Makoto Naegi

❤ Be careful with him because if he's not gonna know how to hold his tongue if he finds out some of the stuff is illegal. But he has to remind himself that he is friends with the Toko Fukawa, so his lover being an underground surgeon isn't that bad, right?

❤ It's not as if you're torturing anyone... right?

❤ Your SHSL is scary to anybody once they learn it. You just know how they'll look at you when you have to announce it yourself. But like enjoy your craft; your life's work.

❤ He researched you ahead of time, of course he did, but he stopped at the pictures of people with tatted eyeballs, it made him queasy. When he researched your name, he saw a gallery of your work. You're world renowned.

❤ You do carry photos of your work in your backpack. You have a good portfolio of things you'd do. Silicone horns, rare piercings, skin removals. Nothing murderous or bloody like he thought when you pulled out a big, scary leather folder.

❤ And you're not openly sadistic towards him, you never have been. You're likeable - loveable. Nothing like the scary monster other people claim you to be.

❤ When you explain some things you do he's like "oh, so things like nipple piercings?" and you're like "well it's a little more complicated than that-".

❤ He meets one of your patients that has lip plates and he's like ykw not as scary in person as in the photographs you showed me sweetie.

❤ When he talks to you at night, he's always scared to ask "what did you do today?"

❤ ^ Or if you're in your workshop he's scared to ask you what you're doing.

❤ He doesn't have a job, so his time is mostly free, and you always seem to be busy. You're either talking to a new client, refreshing with an old one, or working on somebody. Your life is filled with your business, but that's what makes you a SHSL, doesn't it?

❤ Can't say his family is the most stoked when learning your SHSL.

❤ Slowly but surely he'll want to be apart of your world, but sitll, he'll always get nervous around your more extreme clients. There are times where your client will enter your workshop and have another people with them, and Naegi is more likely to get along with that person, especially if they're just as unaware of this scene as he is.

❤ You think it's a bit funny.

[jackiemychoom]

[OC Interview]

Tagged by @pinkyjulien thank you so much 😊

[Valentina Torrez]

☆NICKNAME: People used to call me Tina, but I started going by V when I left my clan.

☆GENDER: Cis female, she/her

☆ORIENTATION: Bisexual with a preference for women I guess. I dont know, it's complicated.

☆NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: I'm American. My mother is Mexican and my father is Hawaiian.

☆HEIGHT: 5'9" / 175.26cm

☆STAR SIGN: Aquarius

☆FAVE FRUIT: Kiwi

☆FAVE SEASON: Spring

☆FAVE FLOWER: Sunflower

☆FAVE SCENT: Citrus

☆COFFEE, TEA or HOT CHOCOLATE: I occasionally drink tea. The type depends on my mood. I've never had hot chocolate, but I'm curious.

☆AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: About 3-6hrs depending on if I got too much shit to do or I'm able to get a good night's rest.

☆DOG OR CAT PERSON: Not really one or the other. However, I have become fond of the stray cats that I've met.

☆DREAM TRIP: Never really thought about it. Maybe up north, where there's mountains and snow. I also like the idea of going to Mexico. I always wondered if I had any family there.

☆NUMBER OF BLANKETS THEY SLEEP WITH: I typically sleep with two, but when it's hot, I prefer a sheet or really light blanket.

☆RANDOM FACT: I grew up eating whatever was available because we didn't always have much to choose from. Maybe that's why I hate certain foods and became a picky eater.

Tagging (no pressure ofc and sorry if you've done it already) @maschinen-mensch @fonfan121 @medtech-mara @leota-nexus @fly-amanitaa @wanderingaldecaldo @ghostoffuturespast

[heeliopheelia]

Im sorry but i dont understand how people support stray kids...theyre so racist...chan literally did the jim crow pose and hyunjin mocked black people...

Okay so I don't think I'm in the right place to talk about it since I'm white and the things the boys have done don't affect me personally. I'm not defending anyone but I wouldn't necessary call it plain racism by maybe more of a racial ignorance?? Okay please don't come for me!!

Okay like I said before i'm NOT defending anyone but I also think that some of you, especially americans, need to understand that in the most of the countries people are not taught or told about things such as cultural appropriation. I can tell you guys by my own example that EVERYTHING I have learnt about what's offensive or not was through internet. I had no idea how many things are considered cultural appropriation and the second I read about it and understood why, I immediately stopped doing such things. For example, when I was in kindergarten, half of the kids were dressed up as stereotypical native americans or indian women... Now as I'm older I see fault it in, but i can bet my life that none of the parents buying those costumes actually knew that that was offensive... I also had no idea what the Jim crow pose was until like last year I think.

I'm not trying to excuse what they've done, I don't feel like it's my right to speak about it either, all I'm saying is that I'm not going to stop stanning them because of these mistakes – if they do keep happening again though and they won't acknowledge that what they're doing is offensive, I will do so then

Hope what I said isn't gonna bring no controversy and I hope you guys understand what I mean by that.

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Takaaki adjusted her skirt, shirt, whatever else she could. It was hard to find outfits her size. As she wasn't made for the female body. She was too tall, broad shouldered…

It made her insecure.

She'd been lucky enough to find things in the American sizes spot in the back of some stores. They fit well enough to not suffocate her to death. She didn't always have to feel the need to adjust the entire outfit and itch whatever scratch she had from how uncomfortable the clothes were.

But she still adjusted and fixed the clothes.

This was hard.

She breathed in and continued to stare in the mirror. Her makeup was done after a while of not doing it. Her hair was neatly brushed and put up into a ponytail. She didn't feel pretty. Not enough for Taichi to love her like he did. She'd never been "pretty" in any way.

She had never been handsome. She was so far from pretty. She hated how she looked. They were all right. She should just disappear. She was the ugliest woman she's met. And the ugliest man to have had existed.

"Father…are you okay?" Kiyotaka asked, sitting next to her.

Takaaki didn't realize her son had entered the room. Neither did she realize her tears that fell at the moment. "Taka…" She quickly wiped away her tears. "Yes, I'm fine. It's nothing." Takaaki said with a smile as she continued to wipe away tears. Her makeup was going to smudge.

Kiyotaka took her hands in his. He was smiling at her. But Takaaki didn't look at him. "I'm sorry for crying in front of you, Kiddo…I just don't know what to feel anymore." Takaaki said. Kiyotaka tucked whatever stray hair that poked out from behind his "father's" ears. Tucking them right back. Showing her face better. "You look very pretty, Father." Kiyotaka said with a smile.

Takaaki stayed silent.

"I think Taichi is going to like it." Kiyotaka only said, he grabbed one of the pearl necklaces that belonged to his mother before she died. Takaaki never wore them. Never even glanced at them after she died. "I think Mother would love to have you wear this on such a nice night." Kiyotaka said as he wrapped the pearls around Takaaki's neck.

"Taka…" Takaaki continued to wipe away her tears as her son clasped on the necklace. Kiyotaka sat right back down next to her and looked at her. "They're absolutely beautiful on you!" Kiyotaka exclaimed with a bright look. Takaaki laughed as she cried, "Oh, Taka. You're so sweet to me." She said.

Kiyotaka hugged her, "You're very beautiful, Father! Taichi is going to be absolutely amazed by it." Kiyotaka said.

The two heard a knock on the door and Takaaki hastily got up. "Oh, dammit. Guess I have to fix my mess of makeup before I leave. Please tell him I'll be out in a second." Takaaki said as she grabbed some makeup wipes to fix the running cosmetics.

Kiyotaka nodded and went to the front door. "Hello, Taichi. Father will be out in just a minute. She just needs to fix some of her makeup." Kiyotaka said. Taichi's smile grew and he nodded, "Alright. May I come in?" Taichi asked. Kiyotaka nodded and let the man in. They sat on the couch as they waited for Takaaki to be ready.

Kiyotaka felt tensed a bit. He'd never seen his father cry in a while. And…it seemed to be with her looks. She seemed afraid of being looked at by Kiyotaka. "Taichi…do you love my father?" Kiyotaka asked. "Yeah. Of course!" Taichi said.

"She seems insecure about herself…so I'm a little worried." Kiyotaka said.

"Is she okay?" Taichi asked with concern. "Maybe I should take her out another time if she doesn't seem well to go out tonight!" Taichi said, not wanting to make Takaaki feel worse. "No, no. She'll be fine. I talked to her and if you see her…I think she'll feel better." Kiyotaka said with a chuckle.

Taichi looked at him confused. Takaaki was pretty to him. What was she so insecure about? Taichi sighed and sat down, nervously twiddling his fingers. Maybe he didn't say she was pretty enough times. Did he make a face?!

"I'm ready." Takaaki's voice interrupted Taichi's thoughts.

Taichi looked up, eyes getting bright as he looked at her. His cheeks flushed red and he got up. "Aki…holy shit." Taichi murmured as he held her face in his hands. Her beautiful gaunt face made him swoon. She was so pretty.

He kissed her sweetly. "You look stunning, Aki." Taichi said with a bright smile. Takaaki leaned into Taichi's touch, "You really think so?" Takaaki asked. "Yeah. So pretty as always." Taichi nuzzled his nose against Takaaki's nose. He wrapped his arm around Takaaki's, "Shall we go?" He asked. Takaaki nodded and turned to Kiyotaka. "Bye, Taka. Be safe. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Takaaki said.

"Yes, Father. Be safe." Kiyotaka said with a smile. Takaaki nodded and the two left the house. Taichi continued to smile at Takaaki, really just in love with her. "Aki…I love you." Taichi said. "I love you, too." Takaaki responded, leaning on Taichi.

[tremendouskoalachild]

list of everything i didn't like about avatar: the way of water

(sorry avatar head mutuals, love you guys but i have very little positive to say about it)

(this is just me venting because i have Thoughts in my head and nobody i know irl has seen it. i wanna enter the new year with a cleansed mind i guess)

(for context i saw it because i had an opportunity to see it for free and went, fuck it. i am not a fan of the first film and haven't seen it since 2010. i also do not vibe with james cameron movies in general)

ruins the any day now meme by actually coming out :(

is an hour longer than it needs to be and two hours longer than it should be. i get that it's about the experience and all but pretty blue people admiring majestic creatures does, in fact, get old eventually

james cameron can't help himself i guess. the amount of underwater exploration scenes is borderline masturbatory, not to mention the whole finale taking place on a sinking ship

please tell me they didn't use the actual papyrus font for the subtitles. idk how noticeable it is in the original but watching the film subtitled is painful until you get desensitized to it

colonialism is apparently not enough to make us root against the humans. no we gotta show them gleefully murder a space whale momma (who composes music 🥺🥺) and her baby

the fact that the destruction of nature is treated as more heinous than the attempted genocide of the na'vi (who are pretty transparently stand ins for native americans) is to be expected from the franchise... i still hate it though.

bad guy lady disappears like midway through. and i had such high hopes for her after she was shown using her mech suit arm to drink coffee. slay queen

for such a ruthless piece of shit (affectionate) the main bad guy doesn't know what to do with a hostage. buddy you could have ended the fight like four separate times. you even had redundancy because they always manage to capture several kids at once 😭

the character accused by every video essayist alive of being a white savior wears dreadlocks now. idk kinda tone deaf if you ask me

the decision to just have the Na'vi speak english is cowardly as fuck. didn't you guys make a fully functional conlang for the first movie??

it also makes it more difficlut to tell what language is being spoken in various scenes. literally what is going on and who understands whom

neytiri was done dirty. barely present most of the film and underdeveloped.

even though the original movie apparently fucked over the hired composers i can't deny that its music fucked. can't remember a single melody from the sequel though

main villain being able to commune with nature without any self-reflection sucks ass. you could say he just subdued the flying thing through it comes back later and is apparently loyal so what was that

the spider situation is really weird. his adopted family don't really seem to care about his abduction much (was jake sully being more literal than i realized when he called spider basically the family's stray cat?? idk neytiri sure doesn't seem to give a fuck about him). the weirder thing though is how he is not restrained or even really supervised while captured despite being open about his loyalties

not to out myself as a space racist but i couldn't tell the two brothers apart until like halfway through at which point one got a lot more spotlight and it became clear the other was done for. rip son number 2 i literally don't remember your name

does this decanonize the avatar theme park 🥺 (this is a joke. all i know about the park is from that one jenny nicholson video and the lore does not seem all that good)

the love interest girl's character is said like once or twice in the whole movie. i was listening for it since i was crushing on her (because neytiri is barely in the movie)

there are multiple instances of a boat being thrown into the air and none of them look real

i swear they say "four fingers" when they mean five at some point. yeah i'm reaching here

the plot is paper thin and so many of the situations are incredibly basic

[f1letters]

the great war | dr3

"my hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War"

summary: after the media was filled with cheating rumours involving her husband, she faced hard times trying to rebuild what was left of their relationship

warning: angst, mentions of cheating allegations, the other woman involved has a name (Skylar James is a fictional character), lack of trust, temporary separation between a married couple, fluff ending

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

word count: 3.9k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past, and a public statement.

I'm sorry I took this long to post it, but I'm so happy I was still able to finish this today as I initially promised! hope you enjoy this one!

masterlist

My knuckles were bruised like violets

Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked

Spineless in my tomb of silence

Tore your banners down, took the battle underground

And maybe it was egos swinging

Maybe it was her

Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur

Isn't it sad how in a blink of an eye one single person can destroy your entire world?

Y/N felt exactly like at that moment. Her floor had collapsed, the walls around her had caved in, her roof had fallen on top of her.

She couldn't believe what her eyes were reading on the small screen she held in her hands. A thousand unanswered questions, a thousand unexplained feelings, a thousand screams trapped in her throat.

I might be sleeping still, this is a nightmare, it has to be, she thought as she looked for an excuse. 

After all, it all started when she woke up in the middle of the night and decided to pick up her phone, expecting to see a message from her husband that should be on his way home after a week of work. 

What she didn't expect was to have so many texts from her friends and family, and complete radio silence from the person who held all the answers she was looking for.

"Daniel Ricciardo caught in 'cheating' storm after an eventful night in Miami"

"McLaren's Daniel Ricciardo packs on the PDA with American model amid divorce rumours"

"SINGLE HONEYBADGER: everything we know about the Australian driver's wild night behind his wife's back"

"Divorce? Ricciardo seen with woman in Miami club... Spoiler alert: it wasn't Y/N Ricciardo"

It was everywhere.

In every magazine, every gossip page, every social media platform.

They were photos of her husband at a nightclub, clear as day. She couldn't deny it. She could recognize the distinctive curls of his hair, the characteristic smile that was always plastered on his face, and the shape of his body that she knew as if it were her own.

There was something that she couldn't recognize though. Maybe it was her. 

Model body, long red hair, short white dress that reflected the purple lights of the bar. And especially Daniel's arms wrapped around a body that wasn't hers, but some other girl who was grabbing her husband's neck, with one hand straying through his hair, just as she had done dozens of times before.

She never felt like this. Somewhere in the haze of the media, she could only get a sense that she'd been betrayed.

She stayed like that for hours. Reading all the news, seeing all the photos, looking at all the comments. It wasn't at all what she needed at that moment. But in an act of masochism and in the absence of the man she loved, she stayed there, seated against the headboard of their king-sized bed, in the cold of dawn, all alone in the house the couple had called home for so many years.

Completely destroyed from the inside out.

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, sweet dream was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

What a fool, her mind kept repeating. But what to expect from a relationship that has advanced at lightning speed?

She still remembered the day they met as if it were yesterday, and she was perfectly aware that it was a moment she would never forget, no matter what happened.

No matter how much of the world she might travel, Canada was always going to be her home, right next to the people she loved.

One of them being her childhood best friend Chloe Stroll, with all her craziness and her giant heart. No one in the world understood Y/N better than the singer, and it had always been that way from the moment they became friends at the young age of 7.

The two of them were sitting on the terrace of Y/N's favourite Italian restaurant in the beautiful city of Montreal. 

It all started when Chloe wanted to introduce her new boyfriend to her best friend. No relationship lasted without the seal of approval from the other half of the duo, so they both knew the importance of this meeting.

However, the two girls were taken by surprise when Scotty had the same idea and didn't show up alone, seeking the approval of his fellow Aussie friend. And what a surprise. Daniel simply stood out in the crowd, radiating from all sides like the star he was.

And without even realizing it, a casual lunch to celebrate the beginning of a relationship became a double date that symbolized the start of a whirlwind romance.

She had spent all day glued to Daniel, her eyes almost unable to remove themselves from his image. But the same thing happened on the other side: the driver couldn't have been more fascinated by her, something that provoked an exchange of suspicious glances between Chloe and Scotty, aware of the chemistry between their two friends.

And as crazy as it might sound to the people around them, in the space of nine months, the two of them were walking out of a church in Perth, hand in hand, wedding bands on their ring fingers, her in a long white dress, him in his best navy blue suit.

They couldn't care less about others' opinions and fears about their relationship. They were head over heels in love with each other and that was enough to be sure they were making the right decision.

However, at that moment, the young woman did not know if this was true.

She couldn't stop thinking about the countless times she'd been warned about the playboy fame her now-husband had before he met her. 

Did he really cheat on me? Had he done it other times before? Was it the end of us? Their dream love story was over.

The sound of the apartment's front door opening and closing brought her back to reality. 

It was him.

Always remember

Uh-huh, tears on the lеtter

I vowed not to cry anymore

If wе survived the Great War

Her body stayed still as she heard the sound of keys being placed on the kitchen counter and the suitcase being dropped on the floor in a hurry. But she just stood there, almost as if she was frozen in fear of facing reality.

The wooden door to their bedroom was opened and she immediately noticed Daniel standing at the bottom of the bed. His eyes were on his wife who, in return, couldn't even look in his direction, her gaze drawn to the white sheets that covered her body instead.

"Baby?" He broke the silence, his voice trembling.

She kept silent on the outside, but on the inside, her thoughts spoke too much. She searched for words to say, but sentences seemed impossible to form in the state she was in.

"I didn't do anything, I swear." He said, in a pleading tone. Y/N felt the mattress drop with the weight of Daniel's knee on it as he tried to get closer to her.

As soon as she felt his icy hand touch her thigh, she unconsciously reacted, pulling her body away from his touch, as if it burned like fire.

"Please." Daniel pleaded, revealing the pain her action had caused him. "Trust me, baby. Please. I didn't do anything." He repeated.

"It didn't look like that." The coldness in her voice was everything he didn't want to hear after the torture that had been the hours of silence during his flight from the United States to Monaco.

"She was trying to talk to me and I didn't think too much of it because she came with some of Lando's friends. You have nothing to worry about." He tried to justify himself. "The media is just exaggerating to sell some non-existent drama stories."

"Just exaggerating?!" She replied, with a louder volume than she perhaps intended, as she allowed herself to look at him for the first time. "Have you seen the photos? Can you imagine what people are saying about you? About me? I look like a fucking idiot."

"And so what they think like that?" His shoulders shrugged, in complete disinterest. "Let them talk. What matters here is that you and I know that these things are nothing more than ridiculous rumours."

"And do I know that?" He was sure he could hear his own heart break at the words coming out of his wife's mouth. "The issue here isn't what people say or don't say. What about me? What about my fucking feelings?!"

"You don't believe me. Is that what you're saying?" Daniel kept up with Y/N's change in tone and now also spoke angrily in his words.

"You've been playing with fire and now you expect me to sit here, watch this shit everywhere and still trust you blindly. How do you want me to believe that nothing happened when there's a bunch of photos of you clinging to some other woman?!" She rose from the bed, placing herself directly in front of him.

"Because we're married! Because I took a vow that I would be loyal to you until death do us part!" He yelled, taking a step closer to her, outraged at the lack of trust in him she was showing. "Because I fucking love you… That should be enough for you." He whispered, realizing they were walking a thin line.

You drew up some good faith treaties

I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

You said I have to trust more freely

But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

And maybe it's the past that's talking

Screaming from the crypt

Telling me to punish you for things you never did

So I justified it

As soon as the last sentence left the driver's mouth, he left the room and walked at a fast pace to the room, with Y/N following his path right behind him.

This is it, she thought when she saw him reach again for the suitcase he was carrying before. This is the end of us, right here.

"Where are you going?" Her voice cracked as tears threatened to escape her eyes.

"I'd better not spend the night here. If I stay, things will only escalate and I can't risk losing you because I said shit I shouldn't since I'm upset about this whole situation." Daniel admitted with his eyes mirroring hers, also in tears. Both were surrounded by fear and anger, even if it was for different reasons.

Her body physically ached when she saw his figure disappear through the door. She let her back lean against the hallway wall and descend until she sat on the tiled floor.

The only thing left for her to do was cry. And she did just that. For hours, she stayed there, crying uncontrollably, releasing all the hurt and heartbreak that consumed her.

Eventually, she gained enough courage to get up and walked over to their bed, trying to get some sleep. However, as exhausted as she felt, she spent the rest of the night awake, with the numbers on her nightstand's clock tormenting her, seeming to go slower and slower as time advanced.

She didn't even know where he was. Was he with Max? With Lando? With ... her? She didn't even want to think about that awful scenario, but God, it was hard not to wander in painful thoughts without him there to reassure her.

As soon as the woman saw "6 A.M." displayed on the alarm clock, she decided it was a waste of time to stay there, so she got up, sat on one of the benches on the marble kitchen island and prepared herself a bowl of cereal to eat.

She picked up her phone for the first time since her husband left the apartment and hadn't even unlocked it when she read two words: I'm sorry.

Two words from Chloe, not Daniel. And followed by a link from TMZ.

When she thought she couldn't get out of this with her soul more crushed, she read the title in very big and bold letters.

"EXCLUSIVE: Skylar James reveals all about scandalous affair with Daniel Ricciardo, model claims he cheated on his wife with her multiple times before"

That was the last nail in the coffin.

In a matter of minutes, Y/N packed a suitcase with some of her clothes and her essentials and was ready to leave that house towards her real home in Canada.

But not before she took off her engagement ring and her wedding band and left them both behind on the entryway table.

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, the bombs were closer

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Later that day, Daniel mustered up the courage to return to his wife, motivated by his friend, Max, with whom he had stayed overnight.

Such was his surprise and shock when he immediately sensed the silence that filled the house, her abandoned rings only confirming his greatest fear.

She was gone.

That silence lasted for weeks. Both were at extreme ends of the world, on different continents.

Daniel had to restrain himself from catching the next plane to Montreal, something he thought about doing dozens of times during those agonizing days of separation. But Scotty had been in contact with him, telling him that he and his fiancée Chloe were with the driver's partner and that he just needed to give her some time.

Until then, he could only dedicate himself to his career and racing as an escape from the real world.

The girl's absence from the paddock was not missed, especially by the media, who continued to sell stories on top of stories about the most scandalous topic of the moment in the motorsport world's gossip.

It was torture trying to avoid that subject day after day, knowing he had lost the love of his life to greedy people who were trying to make a career out of lies. It turned into something bigger unnecessarily, and he could only blame himself for being in that situation, even though he was also a victim of the whole thing.

That's how Daniel decided there was only one chance to work this out and try to win back his girl. And against the orders of the McLaren's PR team, he sat in his hotel room and released a statement about the false case on his social media, not knowing the consequences that could bring him.

They couldn't be worse than losing her.

For the first time in weeks, Y/N was able to breathe when she opened his Instagram story and read the words he wrote.

"Over the last few weeks, there have been a lot of rumours and lies spread around about my marriage and my alleged involvement with another woman.

I come here to clarify that I don't know that woman and that I have never cheated on my wife with her, or with any woman.

From the moment I met my partner, my life was completely dedicated to her. She is the most special woman in the world and I thank God every day that I was the lucky one chosen to be by her side.

I am the first to admit that the photographs published in the media look wrong and that I shouldn't have even let myself be put in that position. But not everything that appears to be true is true and I need to make clear again that all the claims made by the other person involved are pure fabrications.

My body and soul belong to my incredible, beautiful wife and I couldn't live another day without publicly asking for her forgiveness for the terrible position she was placed in through no fault of her own."

Reading that, she couldn't help but wonder if she shouldn't have trusted him more freely, if she hadn't punished him for things he never did.

At that moment she made the decision to return to Monaco. She wasn't ready to give up on their love just yet and to be defeated by this Great War.

Always remember

Uh-huh, the burning embers

I vowed not to fight anymore

If we survived the Great War

After 10 agonizing hours of travelling from Montreal to Monaco, Y/N finally found herself in front of the familiar door of the apartment where she had lived over the past years.

I was so unfair, this is my home, come what may, she thought.

She let herself in silently and walked slowly to the open room at the end of the hall, coming face to face with the image of Daniel, sitting on the foot of the bed, elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

He looked so distraught and so tired. It was evident he hadn't even heard her come in. The girl approached him cautiously and ran her hand gently through the brown curls of his hair as she crouched in front of him.

As soon as he felt her touch, a touch he could recognize anywhere in the world blindfolded, he looked at his wife. His eyes told her everything he was thinking about: the fear of losing her, the despair of someone who didn't know what else to do, the maddening love he felt for her and only her.

"You're here." He said, more to himself than to her. "You're really here."

"I am, baby." She gave him a weak smile, trying to reassure him that she'd come to make amends, not to fight anymore.

"I swear to you that I don't even know her, she showed up at that nightclub in Miami with some of Lando's friends. Everything that woman said is a lie. I never cheated on you, I could never do such a thing." He reached for her hand. "I am completely and truly obsessed with you. No person makes me feel the way you make me feel, and I would never put what we have at risk for anything in the world."

"I know, Danny." She leaned her forehead against his chest as they embraced each other. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you from the start. I don't care what she's been saying to the magazines. I know the man that you really are and that you would never do anything to hurt me on purpose."

"But that's the problem, Y/N. I still hurt you, even if I didn't mean to." Her husband grabbed her face with both of his hands, making her look him in the eye. "I'm the one who has to apologize to you."

"She was trying to say something to me at the club and she walked over to me so I could hear her. When I realized, she suddenly leaned over me and put her arms around my neck and I only had the reflex to grab her around the waist because I honestly thought she had lost her balance or something." He explained what really happened that night. "What I didn't realize was that she had a whole plan to spread those images on the internet in search of her five minutes of fame."

It turned into something bigger

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

Your finger on my hairpin triggers

Soldier down on that icy ground

Looked up at me with honor and truth

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I'd lost you

"We are going to be okay, baby." She said. He had looked at her with such a sense of honour and truth. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in her head that he was being sincere.

Simultaneously, seeking each other's touch, Daniel and Y/N got up on their feet and hugged each other, making sure their bodies were as close as possible.

And they spent the rest of the afternoon like that, in each other's arms, in comfortable silence, just cherishing each other's presence, at peace at last.

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

And we will never go back

When dinner time came, the couple ordered their usual Chinese takeaway, as they did every Friday when they were both at home, and sat on the sofa on their balcony while they ate under the beaming light of the sunset.

The only difference to the other Fridays was their phones. Instead of being a part of their conversation as they showed each other videos or photos from their week, this time they chose to turn them off and leave them in their dresser drawer so they couldn't be distracted by the outside world.

These were the moments that made it all worthwhile. These moments of peace, comfort and love all outweighed the war.

"I really thought I'd lost you, you know." She said, as she put her head on his shoulder, sighing. "I've never been so afraid in my life."

To that bloodshed, crimson clover

Uh-huh, the worst was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

He looked at her, appreciating every little detail on her face, from the small scar she had above her eyebrow to the delicate mole she had on her chin.

After experiencing the world without her, Daniel knew that life would never be as colourful as with his lover by his side.

"You could never lose me, baby." He placed a small kiss on her lips. "It's me and you against the world, forever and always."

Always remember

Uh-huh, we're burned for better

I vowed I would always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

Although they didn't need validation from others to make them feel good about their decision to stay together, after a few weeks, the truth eventually came out.

Y/N was getting out of the shower when she got a call from her best friend.

"Hey, Chloe!" The girl said excitedly.

"Y/N, you're not going to believe what just happened." Chloe was always up to date with everything that was going on, but Y/N couldn't help but fear what was coming, especially after the painful weeks she had thanks to digital rumours.

"Skylar was just exposed on Instagram by a 'friend'. She leaked some audios that show it was all a set-up to take advantage of Daniel." Y/N couldn't believe karma worked so fast. "She apparently joined Lando's friends to get into the club but she didn't even know them at all! Can you believe the audacity of this girl?"

Without warning, Y/N disconnected the call, wrapped a towel around her body and ran to Daniel who was in the living room playing PlayStation. 

She quickly told him everything that had happened and it was possible to see the driver breathe a sigh of relief when he realized that his reputation was clean again.

Time had stopped when his lips found hers, making her knees go weak. Everything about him consumed her. Her focus was only on him and how he invaded her every sense.

"I vowed I would always be yours." He reminded her, as he leaned his forehead against hers, both of them with their eyes closed in a gesture of calm and tranquillity. "I love you more than anything in this world. You know that, right? We survived the Great War, Y/N Ricciardo."

I will always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

I vow I will always be yours

taglist: @dan3avacado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12 @amsofftrack @flannel-cures @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin @ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips @darlingapologize @l0st-exe @wintergilmore3

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[daydreamingfuel]

Freak Like Me

Chapter 1

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

AO3 // next

Y/N has just moved to Hawkins from England with her parents and is starting at the high school in the final term of her senior year. Eddie immediately takes a liking to her and they become fast friends, deciding to take her under his wing and falling to her charms. This is Hawkins however and things are never quite as they seem...

WHOLE FIC TAGS & WARNINGS: gratuitous use of Y/N (I'm not sorry), friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, eventual smut, semi-fix-it-fic, angst, injury, canon dialogue and events used, canon graphic violence, no main character death :)

Chapter Tags & Warnings: suggestive tension at most, tooth-rotting fluff at the least, supervised underage drinking??? smoking, swearing, Eddie is a sweetheart

Chapter Word Count: 6.5k

A/N - this is incredibly self-indulgent of me but I have had Eddie brainrot since he first appeared on my screen so sue me.

“Y/N! Wake up honey, you’re gonna be late.” A voice called through the door, disturbing Y/N from their slumber. Mother dearest.

God, what time is it?

Checking the little alarm clock next to her bed, that they forgot to set before going to sleep, they saw it was already eight and that her mother was right – they were going to be late if they didn’t hurry the fuck up.

“I’m up! I’m up!” She called back and heard their mothers’ footsteps retreating “Barely…”

With a huff, they pulled back the covers keeping her safe and warm in bed and forced themselves out of its confines, stumbling slightly as they tripped over a stray shoe on their way to a bag of clothes that had yet to be unpacked. Quickly rummaging through, she found an outfit that should pass the dress code – jeans, band t-shirt, slightly holey cardigan - muttering a small ‘this’ll do’ as they started to dress. Once fully clothed, an attempt was made to make their hair slightly more presentable and freshened up in the bathroom, before picking up her backpack from her room and heading to the kitchen. 

“You look nice darling,” Commented her mother over a hot mug of tea, she leant against the kitchen counter watching as their child frantically found something quick to eat in a cupboard, “There are granola bars of the top shelf…”

“Thanks mum,” smiling slightly as she spoke, and reaching for the box and pulling two out, stuffing one in their backpack for later, not sure whether she could trust unknown cafeteria food to suffice getting through the day.

“Are you nervous? I understand that it’ll be a tough adjustment…” She trailed off and furrowed her brow slightly as Y/N quickly ate their small breakfast.

“Understatement,” Y/N mumbled between mouthfuls, before moving to pull on her shoes. “But I know it couldn’t be helped, this is a great opportunity for dad…my education be damned.”

“Language.” Y/N quirked an eyebrow, her mother rarely commented on their cussing, “You know I don’t mind it but the people at your new school…they might. And as for your education, you’ve always been bright, I’m sure you’ll be fine…besides from what they said of the syllabus, you already know most of it.” Y/N hummed dismissively, so her mother continued,  “Y/N, you’re eighteen, you’ve already done most of the work, this last term will be a breeze and then you’re free.”

Y/N knew she was right, but she was still annoyed about the whole situation. “I gotta go, I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.” She kissed her mother on the cheek, picked up her bag and left for school. Hawkins High, last term, senior year, class of ’86. This should be interesting.

The receptionist at the front desk was kind, as she led Y/N to the principal’s office, chatting mindlessly on the walk whilst Y/N took in their new surroundings. It was so different to what she was used to, but it was only for a few months. The banners on the wall supporting the school team of whatever sport it was they played here, probably basketball if not American Football. Cheerleaders in their small uniforms dotted around made Y/N feel like she as in some kind of movie as opposed to real life. Green and yellow, the school colours, could be seen everywhere, it was an odd combination but somehow it just worked, as she noticed the green and white varsity jacket with the yellow trim. People stared as they passed - she was the shiny new toy, fresh meat - and made comments to each other, but she paid no mind to the whispers. Once they reached the office, Gladys the Receptionist knocked, and a man’s voice called to enter.

Y/N plopped down in one of the dark leather chairs in front of the desk, on older man she had met once before sat behind it, a practiced smile on his lips. Principal Higgins. He was an older gentleman, in a brown suit and starch worn shirt, the tie his wife had obviously chosen for him, sitting snug around his neck.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s nice to see you again.” Higgins spoke calmly, “I’ve got your transcripts here, you’re all ready to go. How are you feeling?”

She knew she would be getting that question a lot, but they smiled anyway. “I’m okay, it’s all just very different.”

He chortled slightly before standing, file in hand. “I’ll take you to your homeroom, you’re with Miss O’Donnell. Here’s your schedule, and a map of the school. Come see me at lunch so we can talk over a few things and sign a few bits of extra paperwork, we could’ve signed them now but…” He trailed off, checked the clock and, as if on cue, the warning bell rung. He handed Y/N two sheets of paper, which she immediately folded in half, she would look later, as he walked over to the door before turning back to Y/N, “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The walk to the classroom was quiet, allowing Y/N to focus on where she was going and try to memorise it as best as possible knowing she would have to make her way back to the office unguided. Once making it to the classroom, Higgins and O’Donnell had a quick hushed conversation and Higgins left the room as the second bell rung. Miss O’Donnell, an older looking lady with glasses and an ill-fitting shirt tucked into a lavender skirt, turned to face the horde of students in their desks. Most looked bored and uninterested but a few seemed practically enthused at the new arrival.

“Class, we have a new student, Y/N Y/L/N.” Y/N fiddled with a stray thread on her cardigan to avoid eye contact “She has just moved over from England, and will be joining us for the rest the year.”

“England?” A boy called, making Y/N’s head snap up, “So do you know the Queen?” A blond boy in a varsity jacket asked as his friends on the surrounding table smirked slightly at the question and looked at Y/N in earnest.

“You’re American. Do you know the President?” She couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out of her mouth. The boy’s face dropped. She heard a muffled laugh come from the back corner and her eyes found the source immediately. An older looking boy, probably held back, sat leaning on the desk hand covering his mouth, long curly hair framing his face and brown eyes glinting with mischief. Y/N smiled to herself slightly, as she moved to her seat, ushered by Miss O’Donnell who was grumbling under her breath about being polite and welcoming.

The rest of the morning was much of the same, teachers introducing her, silly questions asked and sarcastically answered and keeping her head down in class as she slowly caught up with where they were in the syllabus, comparing it to the notes she had brought from her old school.

‘Mum’s right, this is gonna be a breeze’ Y/N thought to themselves as she read through the calculus notes and saw that she had already learned everything important. Though she was never top of her class, she had always prized herself on being intellectual, though it most came off as being a smartass to her peers and wasted potential from her teachers when she wouldn’t pay attention.

By the time lunch came she was pretty confident that educationally, she would be fine, now just came the trouble of a social life. The dry humour she was used to was lost on most American ears so talking to peers had already arisen an issue, not that she hadn’t tried. She had mostly gotten confused, but polite smiles and quirks of the head and a few people believing her when she was being sarcastic. Brushing it off, she smiled at the lunch lady, as they doled out her food onto the tray and paid quickly before turning to face the rest of the cafeteria. As her eyes scanned the room, cliques could easily be seen sat at their tables, engrossed in loud conversation – the jocks being the loudest, the blond boy from homeroom leaning against a pillar laughing boisterously - until she found a semi empty table and made their way over to it. She sat in quiet solitude at the head of the empty table for a few minutes, eating peacefully before, surprisingly, someone joined her.

“Well, look who I found,” he looked up to meet those same mischievous brown eyes from homeroom. “You’re kind of sat in my seat, but I’ll allow it cause you’re new.” His voice was playful but welcoming, immediately making her feel more at ease.

“How generous,” she replies dryly, and he snickers, taking the seat adjacent to her on the table, “I’m Y/N.”

“Eddie, Munson.” He smiles softly. Now able to actually look at him, she saw the Metallica t-shirt fitting snug to his chest under his leather jacket and denim vest, the logo slightly fading from use, heart skipping slightly at the sight of her favourite band’s logo. “You know, normally I’d say that you shouldn’t be seen with me if you wanted to have a slight chance of peace at this school but with the way you bit back at Jason this morning, I don’t think that going to be an issue.”

“What’s not gonna be an issue?” A younger voice piped up from behind them, and Y/N looked up to see that suddenly there were more boys stood around the table, some sat down quickly once Eddie’s head snapped up to look at them, but the two youngest looking still stood. They seemed surprised, like they’d never seen a girl before, or that Eddie had just grown two heads.

“Didn’t your mommy ever tell you it’s rude to interrupt, Henderson.” Eddie addressed the shorter curly headed boy, voice stern but mischievous, almost brotherly. The taller, lankier boy next to him was just staring at Y/N as Eddie and ‘Henderson’ bickered about manners.

“Are you gonna sit down or are you just gonna stand there all lunch?” Y/N asked picking at her food, which made the boy snap back into reality. Slightly shaggy black hair ruffling as he shook his head slightly and made his way around the table.

“Oh, yeah…um, hi...” the boy said as he sat down opposite Eddie, dragging the smaller boy with him, “I’m Mike, this is Dustin,”

“Hi!” Dustin chimed in, with an adorable gummy smile, bright blue eyes lighting up, “Are you the new English girl everyone’s talking about?”

“Guilty,” Y/N leaned back in her chair as the boys leaned in slightly, intrigued. “Moved over here last month,” Dustin nodded along, saying a small ‘cool’ under his breath, going to ask a question but stopping when Y/N spoke again “what were you saying before, Eddie?” Her eyes finding his again as he stopped squinting at Mike and Dustin at the call of his name.

“Oh, just that what you did the morning may get you shit from the basketball douches for the rest of the year, especially now that you’re talking to the freaks of the school, but…from the seams of things, I think you can handle it.”

“Freaks? You don’t seem like freaks to me…dorks definitely,” Y/N nodded at Dustin and Mike who gasped in mock offence, “but freaks? I don’t see it.”

“No?” Eddie said with a cock of his head, “What if I told you that this is my third attempt of finishing my senior year?”

“So you’re 20 and still in high school, because you failed a few tests?” He nodded slowly, and she scoffed, “Standardised testing a bullshit, not everyone learns the same. That doesn’t make you a freak, it just means the system sucks.”

“Well then, it looks like you chose the right table.” He grinned, before turning to the boys at the table, “So,” he spoke louder, to address the group and they all turned to face him instantly, “first meeting of Hellfire this term is on Friday night, bring snacks it’s gonna be a long one.” The boys chattered excitedly at the announcement.

“What the fuck is Hellfire?” Y/N asked incredulously, and Eddie turned to face her with a devilish grin, going to speak before Dustin’s voice piped up again.

“It’s a D&D club!” He spoke excitedly, before Eddie shot him a glare across the table.

“What did I say about interrupting Henderson?!” Eddie snapped at him, and Dustin sank into his seat a little.

“Dungeons and Dragons?” Y/N questioned slowly, with a small smirk, and they nodded “Wow…definitely dorks.”

“First you sit in my seat, now you insult me?” Eddie questioned with a slight twitch to his eye, hands flailing slightly as he gestured to Y/N, leaning into her a little, making her snicker under her breath at the boys antics and clear passion for the fantasy game.

“Who said it was an insult?” She replied with a laugh, closing some more of the distance between them “Personally I’d much rather be a dork, or a freak, than be whatever…that is.” She nodded at the group of boys in varsity jackets across that cafeteria, Jason from homeroom still in the centre of it all. Eddie laughed slightly, before Y/N continued slightly quieter, “Besides, D&D seems like fun…”

“You- You’d want to play?” Mike asked in shock, having been listening on the whole conversation “Do you know how?”

“Well, no…but I do love fantasy stories, and I’m a fast learner.” Y/N responded a little shyer, and the table erupted into what if’s and how’s, some of the boys obviously not wanting or seeing the need for a new member. Dustin on the other hand seems practically delighted by the idea and was instant that it would be a good idea and that he would teach Y/N himself if he had to.

“I could teach you.” Eddie chimed in, making the table fall silent at their leader’s remark. “If you wanted to play with us, I could show you the ropes.”

“Really?” Y/N asked as she picked at the loose thread again, suddenly feeling more anxious than they’d felt all day, “I don’t want to be any trouble if you already have an established group.”

“We’re starting a new campaign anyway, if you wanted to join the party now would actually be the perfect time.” Eddie explained, leaning on his hand and picking at a splinter in the table with the other, he looked calm and unbothered but his voice was hopeful. His words calmed her nervousness somewhat as she considered her options. She didn’t want to be a social pariah, but it was just a fantasy game, what could be the harm in that? And she definitely didn’t want to have no friends forever…

‘What the hell.’

“Okay then,” Y/N said through a sigh, and smiled as Dustin’s eyes grew wide and he drummed a small rhythm on the table in happiness, she giggled slightly and Eddie felt his heart beat a little faster at the sound, before she turned to him and almost took his breath away completely with her next words, “Are you free tonight? I want to get familiar with the rules as soon as possible.”

“Y-Yeah, should be. I think I have a erm- meeting,” Eddie stammered slightly, obviously flustered and hiding something but covering it well, “right after school but I can meet you at 4ish?” 

“Great,” Y/N pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of her backpack and quickly scribbled a note, “here’s my address, I’ll see you there?” She asked sliding it across the table to Eddie who picked it up immediately and put it in his lunchbox, Mike and Dustin watched the whole interaction in awe.

“See you there.” He affirmed with a slow nod as Y/N stood to leave, “Going somewhere?”

“Almost forgot that Higgins wanted to see me at lunch, I still got time right?” She asked throwing her bag over her shoulder.

“Yeah, you’ve got about 15, maybe 20 minutes.”

“Cool, I’ll see you later,” she smiled at Eddie and he smiled back in response, before she turned to leave and called over her shoulder with a small wave, “bye guys!”

Eddie watched her walk away dumbfounded, until Dustin clearing his throat brought him back to the table. He found the entire group of boys staring at him like he’d completely lost his mind. They immediately bombarded him with incredulous questions about ‘what on earth just happened’ until he shut them up with a laugh.

“What just happened gentlemen, is that I think I just met my future wife.”

The second she stepped through the front door after school, her mother pottered over with a mug of tea and handed it to Y/N, asking, “So? How was your first day?”

“Can I at least sit down before you interrogate me?” Y/N replied with a laugh at their mothers familiar behaviours, and made their way over to the kitchen table and relaxing into a chair, “It was fine, I got asked if I knew the Queen like three times so that was fun.”

Her mother laughed heartily and sat opposite Y/N, her own steaming mug of tea cupped between her hands, wedding ring clinking against the ceramic, “Did you make any friends? I don’t want you being lonely.”

“Yeah, I think I did, he’s coming round at about 4-ish,” Y/N spoke carefully, watching their mothers reaction. It was all what she expected, her mother spluttered slightly on her drink as her eyes widened.

“A boy? Already?” Her mother exclaimed, hand reaching across the table to take Y/N’s in her own, “Your dad’s not gonna like this, you know how he was with-“

“Eddie, is nothing like him.” Y/N quickly interrupted, “Honestly. I know it’s only been a day but they are polar opposites, I think Eddie would despise him.” Y/N finished with a laugh, “He’s a nerd and a metalhead, he plays D&D, that’s why he’s coming round, he wants to teach me the game before I try to play with the rest of the group,” at this, her mother’s panic subsided and was replaced by a soft, knowing smile.

“Right, of course, I forget you actually have a chance to act like yourself at school now,” leaning back in her chair, and releasing Y/N’s hand, she watched as Y/N nodded in agreement, “Well, either way, if he hurts you-”

“It’s not like that…” Y/N grew flustered slightly at the thought, cheeks growing hotter by the second, “He’s just a friend, a new friend, I don’t want to fuck it up.” Her mum nodded in understanding and stood up to leave Y/N to her thoughts at the table, “Mum?”

“Yeah sweetie?”

“I won’t ruin things again, will I?”

“You didn’t ruin them the first time.”

Her mum left the room and Y/N slumped back in her chair, head tilting back with a sigh. Her mind raced with all the memories of her friends from her old school, how different they were from the people she had connected with today. How different she was. How different she had to be. Shaking the feeling off, she kicked off her shoes, grabbed her backpack and disappeared into her room, trying to neaten up around the boxes before Eddie was due to arrive. Though they had moved a month ago, Y/N still wasn’t unpacked fully. The only things cleared away and presentable was her bed and her bookcase. The doorbell sounded, and Y/N’s head snapped to the clock. Quarter to. He was early.

In a small panic, as she heard he mother answer the door and greet Eddie, she cleared some floor space and threw some of the cushions from her bed into the space to sit on later, and made their way back to the kitchen. Eddie was leaning against the kitchen counters talking animatedly to her mother about something, fluffy hair flying around and hands flailing.

“Have you ever seen them live?” Mrs Y/L/N asked, nodding to Eddies t-shirt, “You should, they’re amazing.”

“You’ve seen them-!” Eddie started before noting Y/N watching with an amused smirk in the archway, “Hey, Y/N, your mom was just telling me about-”

“Metallica?” Y/N finished for him and he nodded excitedly, “Yeah we saw them in London in 84’, best Christmas ever.”

“I’m so unbelievably jealous,” Eddie looked like he could explode with excitement, and Y/N couldn’t help but grin, as she walked over to him, “Anyway, I brought everything we need to get you started, you ready?”

“Absolutely,” Y/N affirmed and turned to lead him out of the room, “I’ll see you later mum.”

“Have fun,” She said, smiling in approval as they walked out of the room and towards Y/N’s bedroom.

Once inside Y/N sat down on one of the cushions and patted the second for Eddie to sit on but he paid no mind it. He stood in the doorway unsure of what to do with himself now that he was there, scanning the room, seeing band posters and photographs of Y/N and their old friends and family. He could smell her perfume. It was all overwhelmingly Y/N and it stunned him. When he finally clocked Y/N again, it made his heart skip a beat seeing her sat on the floor leaning back on her hands watching him so intently, head cocked slightly, like he was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

“C’mon, sit your ass down, unless you want to teach from the doorway,” Y/N spoke, amused at his sudden lack in confidence after seeing him so exuberant in the kitchen. He cleared his throat and made his way to the floor, sitting next to her and pulling a few books, a few sheets of paper and a small metal box from the bag that he brought with him.

“Do you have a pen?” he asked suddenly, and she nodded reaching behind her and pulling a pen from her backpack, presenting it to him “Good…good. So, what do you know of the game?”

Y/N explained the little that she knew - that it was a roleplaying game, that you could make your own character and that it involved a lot of mythology and lore. He nodded along as she spoke, affirming that was she said was correct, before explaining a few of the finer points of the game. Y/N quickly found out that, as founder of the club, Eddie was ‘Dungeon Master’ and ran the whole game, planning the story and what obstacles the party would encounter. Then came how to actually play. He picked up the metal box and carefully tipped out the contents onto the floor and out rolled many dice in a dark red colour, and black embossed lettering.

“This, is a D20.” They found themselves laying on the floor facing each other, open books and many-sided di between them. He held up the small di between them with his free hand, Y/N’s eyes fixed on the icosahedron. “This is what makes the game fun, for me at least as DM, if the player rolls too low of a number, they don’t hit and it causes more chaos – fun for me to watch - and if it rolls high, more damage done to the target and one step closer to winning.”

“Right, I think I get it…I guess using the different di will mostly come with practice.” Y/N spoke and Eddie nodded, “Now I know the basics…”

“Now, we can create your character, so what’ll it be? Dwarf? Human? Elf? Princess?” He quirked an eyebrow and gaged her response, noting the slight catch in her throat at the final word.

“When you say elf, do you mean Santa’s Workshop or Lord of The Rings?” Y/N asked with a cheeky smile, already knowing the answer but wanting to see him laugh. She succeeded as Eddie snorted a laugh, rolling onto his back and looking up at her.

“Lord of the Rings,” He responded, “Is that what you want to be?” and Y/N nodded.

“I know in reality I’m more of a Hobbit by nature, but the Elves were always my favourite.” With a smile, she glanced over to her bookcase where her weathered copies of the saga sat in prized position. It was one of the only things her and her father bonded over, as he read The Hobbit to her growing up and then finishing the series herself and continued talking to her father about the stories as she grew older.

“You just keep getting better, Y/L/N,” Eddie closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief, “but this is just too good to be true, there’s got to be a catch.”

Y/N watched him as thoughts of her past life and new thoughts of Eddies smile and adorable brown eyes flickered through her mind. ‘Too soon. Not yet.’

“Maybe I’m just that perfect,” she smiled and leant over him a little, reaching for the character sheets next to him. “My extensive knowledge of Middle Earth and music taste speak for themselves.”

Eddie’s eyes opened to find Y/N closer than expected and he startled. Quickly sitting up and reaching for the Starters Guide, making Y/N sit back slightly as well. She scanned the character sheet and filled in a few things herself before getting to the interesting parts that she knew she would need more help with. Time flew as they created Y/N’s character, rolling the di for each trait and smiling with each new addition, Eddie taking on his Dungeon Master role instantaneously and making her laugh as he enthusiastically read through the guide. Not realising how late it was getting until a call came from the door, Y/N and Eddie were engrossed in their own little world, now sitting shoulder to shoulder and talking animatedly as they read the guide together.

“Y/N, dinner’s ready, can you ask Eddie if he’s staying to eat?” Y/N and Eddie both laughed at the question, Mrs Y/L/N not realising that she had just asked him by proxy.

“Are you staying?” Y/N asked quietly turning her head slightly to look Eddie dead in the eye, with a soft smile on her lips.

“Only if you want me to.” He replied as his eyes flickered down to her lips and suddenly realised just how close they were.

“He’s staying!” Y/N called back without turning her head and heard her mothers’ footsteps retreating, “You hungry?”

“Starving.” He leant in a little further and their noses bumped, both of their breathing a little laboured at the proximity before Y/N pulled away and stood up, reaching a hand out to help him up as well. He took her hand, and the cold metal of his rings made her shudder a little but it went unnoticed. They walked hand in hand back to the kitchen, where the table was set with three plates of steaming food, at which Eddie sat down instantly and thanked Mrs Y/L/N for the food. But Y/N stood in the doorway, staring at the empty space.

“Where’s dad’s?” Y/N asked and saw as their mother sighed and sagged slightly at the stove.

“He called, he’s going to be working late all week.” She answered sadly but quickly brushed it off, “but that just means I get more mother-daughter time with you.”

Eddie stopped mid-mouthful then swallowed, “Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?”

“Don’t be daft, I wasn’t going to let you go home on an empty stomach.” Mrs Y/L/N replied earnestly, “What kind of host and mother would I be if I didn’t feed my guests and my daughter’s new friend?” she seemed positively offended at the idea.

“Mum’s always been a feeder, it’s how she shows her love and appreciation.” Eddie made a noise of understanding, nodded, then started eating again, “You really were starving.”

Y/N laughed at Eddie’s sheepish face but continued eating anyway. She sat next to him and dug in herself, before Mrs Y/L/N placed three glasses on the table.

“Wine?” She asked cheerily, pouring herself a drink and Eddie spluttered again when Y/N nodded and said a sweet ‘thanks mum’ when her glass was poured, “Eddie?”

“Is that a trick question?” Eddie asked cautiously, and Mrs Y/L/N cocked her head, confused, until Y/N chimed in.

“Ah! Um, the legal drinking age in the UK is 18, it’s a little hard to get used to suddenly having to be 21 to drink…” Y/N explained but Eddie still looked unsure as to whether he was allowed to except the offer so Y/N continued, “but my parents have always been pretty liberal about it, they’re not idiots and know what they were like at our age - we’re going to drink anyway so why not do it safely, where they can keep an eye out. So, wine?”

“There you go again, being too good to be real.” Eddie takes it all in then smiles at Mrs Y/L/N, “I’ve never had wine before…”

“It’s an acquired taste but it goes well with food,” She pours him a glass and smiles, starting to eat, “Eat, drink, relax, I’m not gonna call the police.”

Y/N laughs and takes a swig of her wine before digging into her food again, watching Eddie in her peripheral as he took a sip and coughed at the unfamiliar taste, making her snicker slightly. He glared at her before trying again and managing to drink without choking. Raising an eyebrow at him, as he swallowed before smiling and focusing on eating. The evening went by smoothly, Mrs Y/L/N continuing to ask Eddie questions, obviously trying to sus him out but doing it so seamlessly that he didn’t notice and answered honestly. Y/N learned that he lived in the trailer park not too far away with his uncle, that he worked part-time at the record store, that he didn’t have that much contact with his parents but didn’t really mind – he only tensed and got a little shy when Mrs Y/L/N asked about his romantic life, laughing awkwardly and muttering a small “it’s non-existent” before moving on and saying his one true love was his guitar anyway. They laughed, and ate, and finished the bottle of wine, Mrs Y/L/N muttering about how her husband wouldn’t be happy they didn’t save him any. With empty plates and full bellies, they all leant back in their seats as they let the food settle.

“Thank you again, Mrs Y/L/N, the food was delicious,” Eddie said and rubbed his belly slightly, “Best meal I’ve had in ages.”

“It was no bother,” Mrs Y/L/N shushed him and started clearing the plates, at which Eddie stood up to help, carrying the empty dishes to the sink. Y/N smiled to herself at how well Eddie fit in with her family, like he wasn’t a complete stranger that morning.

“I’ll wash up mum, you go sit and read for a bit.” Y/N said to their mum with a hug and kiss on the cheek before she pottered off to the living room.

“I love your mom.” Eddie said as soon as she was out of earshot, leaning against the counter as Y/N filled up the sink with hot soapy water and gave Eddie a tea-towel, “I don’t think an adult has ever treated me this kindly on first meeting.”

“That woman does not have a hateful bone in her body,” Y/N said with a smile, starting to clean up, handing the cleaned plates to Eddie to dry, “she’s always been like that, my gran said it got her into trouble a lot growing up, always being quick to trust people that she maybe shouldn’t but she still always see’s the best in people.”

“Must be where you got it from,” Eddie said and Y/N flicked some foam at him, he dodged it and lightly hit her with the towel making her laugh, “I’m serious, you very easily could have told me to fuck off when I interrupted your peace at lunch today, you could still tell me to leave you alone, and yet you haven’t, why?”

“Well…” Y/N started but didn’t finish, not really knowing what to say, so she sighed, focusing instead on scrubbing a glass.

“Well?” Eddie prompted, putting the towel down and folding his arms across his chest, looking at her expectantly. She could feel his gaze on the side of her head, as though he was trying to force his way inside it and figure out what she was thinking. The trouble was even Y/N didn’t know what she was thinking.

“I don’t know.” Y/N said letting the glass fall into the water with a small sploosh, and resting her hands on the sink, “What do you want me to say?” She sighed, collected her thoughts and bit the bullet, letting a stream of consciousness pour out of her mouth without really thinking about it, “I think you’re cool, we like the same things, not to mention that you were the only one who didn’t ask me a stupid question about England. Plus, you actually understand my humour - you were the only one that laughed in homeroom this morning and you’ve bitten back whenever I’ve teased you today. You’ve made me genuinely laugh for the first time in a while and I think you could be a really good friend to me…why would I tell you to leave?”

There was silence for a second before Eddie spoke.

“You think I’m cool?”

“That’s what you picked up on?!”

They laughed at each other, as equally as astonished at the other. They fell into comfortable silence for a few seconds before Y/N flicked some more water at him making him gasp as it hit him, causing Y/N to erupt into giggles.

“You did not just do that.”

“Oh, but I did.”

“You’re gonna regret that.” Eddie grinned, splashing water at Y/N, it hitting her décolletage and dripping down her front. She glared at him, her eye twitching slightly before she sprung into action.

“It’s on, Munson.” Y/N stated, quickly picking up the sponge she had been using to clean and squeezing it, the water spraying all over Eddie before she moved to run away, in hysterics at the fire in his eyes, and the exasperated look on his face as water clung to his curls.

“Oh no you don’t…” he murmured as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back towards him, locking her in place with her back to his chest with one arm as the other hand hit the still full sink and covered her in water, drenching her. Shrieking through the laughter, she admitted defeat.

“You win, you win!” she struggled in his arms as he leaned in to rest his head on her shoulder.

“You’re not gonna hit me with more water if I let you go?” He spoke into her ear, and he felt her tense up a little, smirking to himself as she shook her head. “Okay.”

He released her and she turned to face him immediately, almost slipping on the water and laughing even more at the site of the mess they made.

“Dad’s gonna kill me if I don’t get this cleaned up…” speaking to herself and she retrieved the mop and bucket, Y/N quickly cleaned up the puddle, then finished the dishes as Eddie pulled a cigarette from his back pocket.

“You want one?” He asked and tucked his own over his ear, Y/N thought for a moment then nodded, and he got a second from the packet. Once all the dishes were on the drying rack, they made their way out of the house and Y/N led him to a large tree at the end of the path leading to the house. Y/N had found this spot within the first few days of moving. Their house was small and didn’t have a garden, it was the only one her dad could find on short notice, so Y/N had to venture out to find a good place to rest and smoke if she wanted to. Luckily, she found the large tree with its twisting roots that made the perfect little seat, otherwise she would’ve been stuck inside with her dad complaining about work and mum cooking away the sadness. She sat on her favourite root, the perfect size to sit on and leaned back against the trunk of the tree watching as Eddie lit his cigarette in front of her then motioned for her stand up. She walked over to him bewildered, before he held up her cigarette and nodded slightly towards her. Smirking slightly as he placed the cigarette between her lips and lighting the cigarette himself, she blew the smoke in his face with a quirked eyebrow. Retreating back to her seat, she inhaled again savouring the feeling of the nicotine calming her from the inside out and blew the smoke from her lungs up into the air before looking back at Eddie who was looking at her in awe.

“Thank you for making my first day bearable.” Y/N said raising her cigarette in a small ‘cheers’, he snorted and took a seat next to her.

“Don’t thank me yet, you could still hate me,” Eddie said with a knowing, poignant smile, “I can almost guarantee that you’ll be labelled a freak like me pretty soon, and when the rest of the school looks at you the same way they look at me…I’m not sure you’ll be thanking me.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” Y/N said sharply, turning to face him, “From where I’m standing, you have been labelled unfairly. Besides, if this,” she gestures around her, “is what makes you a freak in this town, I’ll call myself a freak with pride.”

Eddie gazes at her with wide eyes and slightly agape mouth, cigarette hanging between his fingers.

“Where have you been all my life?”

“England.”

He laughs heartily and Y/N joins in, leaning into him and resting their forehead against his shoulder. They continue talk and laugh about anything and everything, smoking until the cigarettes are dead and even then, they lay on the grass and look up at the stars for a while longer, feeling as though they had known each other for years.

“It’s getting late, I should probably be heading off.” He sighs and sits up, resting on his forearms, looking over at Y/N, “but I’ll see you tomorrow…I drove in my van but then your mom gave me alcohol so…I’ll come by in the morning and drive you to school?”

“I’d like that, but fair warning, I think you’re stuck with me now,” Y/N grins at him, happy to have made such a good friend on her first day.

“God help me.” He jokes and she pushes him slightly making him collapse back onto the grass. Eddie pulls himself back up and rises to standing before helping Y/N up as well and walking her back to the front door. They said their goodbyes, Eddie winking, before turning on his heel and walking off into the night.

next

[writer-monster]

11 reasons why cap 4 should reintroduce Bucky Barnes as the love interest, an essay

to start this off, i am not writing this essay from a shipping place nor do i believe that this would have any influence at all over the upcoming movie. i expect nothing. this is simply something that i would personally like to see. (of course no hate to anybody who thinks differently)

here are 11 reasons why i think making Bucky into Sam Wilson's love interest in Cap 4 would be a good move for Disney.

-

1. on the Chinese film market - and why it's an irrelevant argument against the inclusion of homosexual themes in Cap 4

the Chinese film market is something that has been blamed for a lack of diversity in Hollywood films a lot lately. many people claim that this market with a lot of buying power has been responsible for the lack of gay and black representation in particular within Hollywood films.

and we have certainly seen Hollywood treating it as such, going so far as to cut gay scenes from movies for their Chinese releases, and vastly minimising John Boyega's (a black actor's) presence in the Chinese poster of Star Wars The Force Awakens.

[image ID: on the left is an image of the American poster for Star Wars The Force Awakens, featuring John Boyega prominently on the right-hand side. And on the right is the Chinese poster for the same movie, in which John Boyega is barely visible.]

so we know at the very least that Disney believes this through their own actions and efforts to self-censor for the different markets.

but Captain America 4 is a black-led movie, don't you forget. and Disney can't minimise Sam Wilson/Anthony Mackie in the movie or the poster because it's his movie and his poster. and no amount of creativity in the editing room can change that (thank God!).

so if by their own argument the film is already going to be either banned, panned or slammed in China... then what do they have to fear from making it a gay movie too?

-

2. oh, the queerbaiting

queerbaiting is an unusual cultural idea. and sometimes i find myself thinking that the term is far too easily used, but then all of a sudden i will stumble upon a movie or show that is so quintessentially cruel and overt in it's... well... queerbaiting that i will start to wonder what the hell kind of a bizarre relationship all these straight people seem to have with their friends. take Troy and Abed from Community or John and Sherlock from Sherlock as the perfect examples of this. (in which my reaction to the show's creators saying the show wasn't gay was to ask so then why did you make it so gay?!)

i felt that Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes in tfatws were getting quite close to this level of queerbaiting.

there was the field scene, the couple's counselling scene, the boat scene, the couple's counselling scene, Bucky going with Sam to face Karli when she told Sam to come alone, the couple's counselling scene, ALL the staring scenes, Sam checking out Bucky's ass here as they said goodbye, the "i would move in with him but" hidden scene, "Uncle Bucky" showing up at the cookout scene, the romantic walking off together into the sunset together ending scene, and the couple's counselling scene. did i forget anything? but i mean seriously, the couple's counselling scene!!! that thing they did with their legs and their crotches while staring deep into each other's eyes, would any straight guy willingly do that? do straight guys crotch-snuggle now?

[image ID: an image of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes during the therapy scene with the quote, "Isn't anybody going to drag me into impromptu couple's therapy and slot my legs firmly between theirs before staring deeply into my eyes?"]

(yeah i stole this image from a buzzfeed article on the fan reactions to the couple's therapy scene. but given that they stole 80% of the content of that article from fandom tumblr, i think it's pretty even-steven.)

there's also the fact that people started talking about bisexual Bucky Barnes a lot after the tiger pictures line, and the lead writer Malcom Spellman responded to the talk of Bucky's bisexuality with "just keep watching". well we watched, Malcolm. but it's beginning to feel like you were just jerking us around.

-

3. the writing

seriously though, what else is Bucky Barnes doing right now in the MCU? his only remaining connection to anything going on right now is through Sam. there is literally nothing else established that's left for him to do that doesn't involve Sam. he moved to Louisiana to be closer to Sam (canonically), he hangs out with Sam's family (canonically), and Steve is presumably gone and is definitely not coming back for more adventures.

he has no villains or loose ends left. he has no other superheroes that he appears to be in contact with. he has no girlfriend or potential love interest, or even other friends or family. he is living in a tent that he has secretly set up in Sam's backyard and is mysteriously appearing from the bushes when it's time for dinner like a stray cat.

in my opinion there is no other meaningful and pre-established progression for Bucky's character that wouldn't just feel cheap.

plus, i don't think the general audience would be all that surprised if they kissed. i think a LOT of people picked up on all that tension. i think a lot of straight people picked up on all that tension too.

-

4. the chemistry between the actors & the chemistry between the characters

the original pitch for tfatws was essentially just this, it was the chemistry between Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and their respective MCU characters of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.

now obviously Anthony and Sebastian are simply friends, and i wouldn't mean to imply anything more. but they are also not their characters.

Sam and Bucky's scenes together before tfatws were both limited and short, and yet audiences still fell in love with the dynamic between the two characters.

in interviews, these two actors are constantly slipping into character and flirting with each other and frankly it's adorable. plus it's really entertaining. i'd love to see that dynamic, unfiltered, in a movie.

because believe it or not the flirting is actually even more open in their interviews than it was in tfatws. and i'm leaving some links as proof.

this here is known as the "married" compilation

and here's a "lucky dip" selection of interviews - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

and here's Anthony trying to get Seb to take his jacket off.

i'm just saying, why not let their chemistry shine? these two are so talented and so entertaining, especially when you put them in a room together. and can you imagine how absolutely hilarious and brilliant it would be to watch them navigate being a couple?

(and for those who bring up the "friends would be uncomfortable pretending to be dating" argument, i'm not here asking for a sex scene or anything. i don't think anyone would expect them to show any more intimacy (physical or emotional) while playing a couple than what they've already shown together in say... tfatws or in their own interviews. not that i actually expect anything regardless.)

-

5. if they were a man and a woman they would've gotten together in tfatws

i have no more to add here. just that... yeah, they would've.

-

6. and i'm not talking about the comics here, i'm talking about the MCU.

i understand fully that none of what i'm saying here falls in line with these characters from the comics. but the mcu itself doesn't fall much in line with the comics either, and these two characters especially are very different from their comics counterparts.

i'm not asking for these two to get together in the comics. tbh i don't think that it would work.

but the mcu Sam and Bucky are different and closer than their comics counterparts. they've got different histories, different backstories, and a very different dynamic. please rest assured that i am only talking about them in the mcu.

-

7. Bucky Barnes is believably bisexual. and Sam Wilson has never been proven to be straight in the mcu, nor has he had a love interest.

(now please continue to keep in mind that these points only stand for the mcu versions of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson, and not at all for their comics counterparts.)

Sam Wilson has never had a love interest, which is crazy because have you seen that man! he has had two blink and you'll miss it moments of verbal expression of attraction to women, both in TWS. and that's the extent of it, through his entire history in the mcu.

Bucky Barnes has had a number of surface-level female love interests, but none of them even came close to the level of connection and chemistry that Bucky shares with Sam.

and i'm sorry SarahBucky fans, but i just don't think there's very much to their relationship either. i love Sarah, i really do. but it's Sam who shares all the meaningful moments and history and chemistry with Bucky. and i don't see what making her into a love interest would do for Sarah's character either, what would that add to her story?

[Picture ID: Bucky at the cookout with Sam, Sarah, Cass and AJ. Bucky and Sam are looking at each other and smiling.]

and also there is the whole tiger pictures thing... again. which does strongly suggest that Bucky is bisexual whether this was intentional on behalf of the writers or not.

-

8. it's representation... AND it feels natural

marvel hasn't had a lot of queer representation that's been noticeably present in the MCU at the time of writing this.

there have been a lot of failures so far, from the bisexual erasure of Valkyrie in Thor Ragnarok to the wlw erasure in Black Panther.

there was queerbaiting almost identical to the bisexual Bucky baiting for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. when asked if he had considered featuring a gay hero in gotg2, director James Gunn stated that "We might have already done that. I say, watch the movie." after the movie's release audiences were understandably confused about the lack of queer representation. To which the director followed up his comments with, "But we don't really know who's gay and who's not. It could be any of them."

there is also Loki, considered by most fans after the airing of his six episode series on Disney+ to be both a poor attempt at both genderfluid representation and bisexual representation. with both attempts being summed up fairly well by the term "blink-and-you'll-miss-it". (also it's just terribly written and Loki doesn't wear any interesting clothes! fanficcers are a Goddamn blessing in this hard time!)

and let us not forget that Andrew Garfield was apparently FIRED for pushing for a bisexual spiderman. a bisexual spiderman within an interracial mlm relationship no less.

so for all these failures, marvel, why not allow us queer fans this? two brilliant and heroic men in a loving interracial relationship. two heroes that we can look up to.

now, one of the biggest detractions from the argument for representation is the idea of "forced diversity". and some poorly written characters certainly do end up feeling forced into the narrative. take Iceman in the comics for example, with Jean Grey just straight up suddenly telling him he's gay. like, marvel, sweetie, that's not how this works! and i don't know a lot of queer people who thought much of that "representation".

but the crux of the "forced diversity" argument is almost always that it feels unnatural within the story, right? and i don't think that anyone could say that about MCU Sam and Bucky ending up together, given these characters' existing chemistry and their history. they've both played characters in gay relationships before so we know that it's not outside of either actor's wheelhouse. and y'all know that Anthony and Seb can act, people. if it's in the script i believe that they'll make it seem like the most natural thing on earth.

-

9. it'd be a nice change

there's been an ongoing meme lately about "Disney's first gay character", the joke being that they continually announce gay characters without really ever including gay characters in their films.

this is to the point where Disney has formed a reputation amongst queer audiences of being homophobic.

if Sam and Bucky were to become a couple, then Disney could have its first actual gay character within a gay relationship. AND have him be in the lead of his own movie, no less.

it's also worth keeping in mind that there's likely an overlap between the people who were outraged by a Sam Wilson Captain America, and the people who'd be outraged by a gay Captain America. and if they were already not seeing the film, then i don't think much is gonna change that.

queer audiences would definitely love it, and the media attention would be guaranteed to be huge. i mean, simply look at the amount of media attention mere rumours of a character's queerness gets you and multiply that by a canon confirmation of said rumours.

but i'm pretty sure that Disney already knows this.

-

10. and yet, in truth, it's not about the representation

in truth i've never felt that i had any trouble relating to characters of any sexual orientation, race, gender, sex, body type, etc. (although that is not to throw any shade at all on people who do wish to see themselves represented) but for me, i think it's more about the story than the packaging.

and yet, a love story is still just a story. straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial. when two characters have chemistry and history and have sacrificed for each other time and time again, and they also can't keep their hands or their eyes off each other, then i'm pretty sure that that's a love story.

straight or queer, monoethnic or interracial, it shouldn't be about these simple labels. it should be about how well written the relationship is. it should be about chemistry, and history, and sacrifice.

because i'm fucking sick of all the hollow, forced romances in media no matter the genders of the participants. i'm sick of lazily written, shallow relationships where any two people sharing the same space for any extended period of time will simply fall in love. it's boring, it's repetitive, and as a writer myself it drives me up the wall!

romance stories suck! and everyone knows that romance stories suck. between twilight, and most of the entire YA genre, and love triangles (so boring), and romance used as poorly-written throwaway subplots in Hollywood movies, the world is in agreement that the romance in western media is simply dreadful. and yet we still want love stories. it's an entire genre that sits at the heart of the human experience (<3), and yet one which so few of today's best known writers seem truly able to capture.

i don't think that i'm the only one who feels this way, either. i suspect it's actually a large part of why fandom is so romance-centred in the first place, that we're all just starving for a good love story.

(btw i think fandom has a reputation for being something that as a whole that it is not. it has this reputation for straight up demanding things and harassing people until they get their way. while unfortunately there are a few people who do this, they're fucking annoying and i swear that they're far from the majority.

in my experience fandom is mostly about writing a five thousand word story at three am while drunk off your ass because it might make someone whom you've never met smile, editing it in the cold light of day, and then posting it. expecting nothing. sometimes getting nothing. and sometimes getting someone send you kudos or a comment so heartbreakingly wonderful that it makes you smile in return.)

-

11. so once again, it is all about the writing.

i want to see Sam and Bucky get together in the mcu, not because they would be a gay couple but because i genuinely believe that their story has potential to be an amazing love story.

and i know the mcu isn't about the romance. it's why in my personal opinion we haven't gotten a lot of good canon romances besides Peter Quill and Gamora. and i don't think that the mcu should be all about the romance either. i fucking love the action and the fighting scenes. i love the comedy. Captain America: The Winter Soldier had no romance and it was a fucking treasure, it was an amazing spy-action-thriller and it made my little gay heart dance. Thor Ragnarok had no romance, and it was an utterly brilliant comedic spectacle action film. not every movie needs romance.

but mcu Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were doing couple's therapy and fixing a boat and walking off into the sunset together in tfatws. they were inseparable on the battlefield. they've got a dynamic. it's beautiful, it's romantic, and it's gold.

a budding relationship between them in the next movie would be a good way to explore both characters more without the narrative feeling too stilted and separate. at the end of tfatws, both Sam and Bucky fans found that their respective fave felt somewhat underutilised and that their characters were underexplored.

now, that problem would be even more difficult to remedy in a movie, because the plotline of a movie needs to be really tight to work (giggity). and we know that the central conflict of the movie is gonna be action-based (which is good), but we still need each character's personal journey and growth to tie into the main conflict. (which is another issue that some fans found with tfatws, that these characters didn't really feel connected to the action-based plot on a more personal level.)

if Sam and Bucky are already in a relationship, however, this whole dynamic changes. first, their relationship has already been set up for nicely since TWS and through tfatws and they would officially be the best-fleshed-out couple in the mcu. but most importantly, a relationship gives them a perfect vehicle to explore both of their pasts comparatively and connect them personally to the action-based plot.

do you want to establish that Sam is a little too trusting and naïve? then establish this through his relationship with Bucky, and through showing his placing his trust in Bucky. (rather than through having him sympathise with a villain who threatened to murder his sister and his nephews).

perhaps you want to show Bucky recovering from his trauma? show us how comfortable he is with Sam. they get along, they're enjoying each other's presence, we see more of Sam's life and of his family, and then let Bucky tell Sam something that's raw and dark and honest about his life as The Winter Soldier. something about a memory, one that he only just recalled. he's opening up. and maybe what he tells Sam is even something that sets up the future action-based conflict, to ground that in something real.

you want to explore that Sam has trauma too? do this through Bucky. he tells Bucky a story about his time in the military. in the form of a flashback, he shares his own story of loss to evoke before the audience the shared theme of feeling at fault even when you're simply a helpless bystander to an act of pure destruction.

then, action sequence! and it's directly connected to Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier. explore the grief of someone whose life the Winter Soldier tore apart manifesting into a villain perpetuating the cycle of pain. establish your villain.

Later, Sam is dragged into battle against this villain for protecting Bucky. But Bucky doesn't want Sam to protect him. He feels guilt for what he can't control and he doesn't want Sam getting hurt because of him. Bucky reminds Sam that he has a family, one who needs him and who loves him. He tells him to go home.

Sam reminds Bucky that he's a part of that family. And that sure Sam's a hero and his job is to protect anyone and everyone, but that he's doing it because he wants to. It's not simply to prove that he can, or to prove that he's not a bystander (this connects to Sam's trauma here), but that he's doing it to help people.

and this gets Bucky thinking about who he is and what he's doing here. is he a hero who stands by Sam's side? or is he an ordinary man who stands aside? or perhaps, does he stand alone? what does he stand for? Maybe Sam knows. But does Bucky?

Sam and Bucky fight off the villain again, and for the first time Bucky meets this adversary face to face. And Bucky recognises this villain, and has a flashback to the genuine pain that he inflicted upon them in the form of the Winter Soldier. Bucky freezes mid-fight, he almost dies, and Sam has to save him.

Sam chews Bucky out for almost getting killed because he was afraid for him. but Bucky takes this the wrong way and goes off to fight the villain alone, or perhaps to die alone, he's not quite sure.

He puts up a half-hearted fight. He apologises for what the Winter Soldier has done, and he waits for the killing blow, when Sam swoops down and he saves him. He asks Sam why he saved him and Sam calls him a moron. And then, Sam asks him what sacrificing himself would solve. He tells him that you can't choose your past but you can choose your future (connecting to his own experience of loss and guilt and grief). And that no matter what Bucky Barnes still has a future, whether that's as the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or just some dork with a day job. And that he has a future as a part of Sam's family too.

Sam fights the villain, and it's toe to toe. He delivers a few good blows, but receives a fair few himself. And then the villain tears off his wings, first one and then the other, in a manner reminiscent of what the Winter Soldier did to him in TWS. Through Bucky's eyes there's a flashback to highlight the parallels. Sam gets back on his feet and he fights his best fight, but is now losing.

And then the heavily injured Bucky steps up and fights by Sam's side, and only together do they take down the villain.

"So... I inspired you, huh?" Sam teases with a smile, utterly exhausted. "With my heroism and-"

"You inspired me." Bucky said, equally exhausted. "Let's leave it at that."

Together, Sam and Bucky go back to the safety and warmth of their family. Sam fixes his wings. Sam goes back to being Captain America. And Bucky... he's around, but it's unclear what he's doing.

That is, until the very end. When Sam is in a fight, and suddenly Bucky shows up and helps him out.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks.

"I've made up my mind." Bucky says. "I'm the Winter Soldier. But now I'll save lives, Sam. Now, like you, I'll be a hero."

Sam smirks. "So does this make you my sidekick, then?"

Bucky smiles. "C'mon, at least make me a partner." He says.

"How about co-workers." Sam says (in flashback, he remembers back to the death of his last on-the-job partner).

"How about friends." Bucky says, with a wry look.

"Bucky... I don't want to see you put your dumbass self in danger." Sam says.

"Oh, and it's ok for you to go running off into danger on your own all the time?" Bucky asks.

"Yes." Sam says stubbornly. "Absolutely it is."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a dumbass?!"

"Sam, if you think I'm not gonna be watching your back for the rest of time... then you're the biggest dumbass I know. And I don't care if you need me or not, I will be there for you."

"Because Sam, you're more than Captain America. You're more than a good soldier. You're a good man. And I think sometimes, the world forgets what the difference is."

-

...or something like that.

(i only spent like 15 minutes on that. you know if i were actually writing this movie i would come up with something much better. and if anyone from marvel is seeing this, yes i can come work for you. i will make the time, let's do this thing right!)

-

finale

at the end of the day, whether or not the mcu chooses to make Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes a couple, it's their decision. and they don't owe me anything.

i'm just some random person on the internet. who thinks that Captain America 4 should #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend

[fic-chi]

100 Prompts in (late) celebration of hitting 200 followers

This was truly a rough year for us, eh? Some of us who made it through the pandemic, the shitstorm that is the American govt, and all around bullshittery destiny through at us have made it through, and, boy, an I so proud of you all! I've been having a hard time myself. 100 prompts aren't as easy as I anticipated, but here it is! As always, if you like my prompts or use them, please tag me! I'd love to see your interpretation!

1. "Nothing short of hellfire could possibly keep me from coming home."

2. "The skies weep when you tell me goodbye."

3. "There's a real possibility, right now, that mom let in a racoon the house thinking it was Bubby."

4. "Mad at you? I thought you were mad at me."

5. "No one, not even you who were so cruel to others, deserved to be punished in this way."

6. "I don't remember my past lives, but I guess it's innate to find you every time."

7. "Sometimes, we have to sacrifice things in order to keep the ones we hold dear safe. Sometimes, the thing we must sacrifice is ourselves."

8. "I-I didn't know you'd be home, but I got you an "I'm sorry for embarrassing you at the dinner" cake."

9. "Honey! The kids took another stray home!"

10. "Humans are vile creatures, yes, and ridding the Earth of them all could solve so many problems. But, to rid the world of human violence, it will also rid the world of human kindness."

11. Sleepy are the hearts that await a love most deserved.

12. "You do some bad things, but that doesn't mean you're a bad kid."

13. "This is nothing but a small price to pay for the privilege of cherishing you."

14. From their fingers, they casted one last desperate spell, hoping it would hit before darkness claimed them forever.

15. She sat in the dark, allowing the cold embrace of shadow lull her to bed.

16. He clung to what he could, his fingertips tearing away from the bones leaving streaks of sticky blood on the concrete walls.

17. "The world does suck, but I'll be damned if I'm going through it alone."

18. "Don't think too hard on that. He's one of those high intelligence, low wisdom guys."

19. "Every wish you made with your heart was heard. I promise."

20. "They say when you're drunk, you forget, but I seem to miss you more."

21. "It must be magic or something because I can't think of a reason why you're still here with me."

22. Soft candle light danced in the shine of her eyes like how the stars danced in the sky.

23. Everything she touched became so beautiful.

24. Forests of sunflowers, radiant as can be, were the domain of sprites and me.

25. From her bag, she pulled out a golden feather quill to make her final wish.

26. A trio of siblings, a band of brethren, to be forever connected both on this plane and whatever plane awaits them.

27. "Y'know, sweetie, everyone deserves to be loved even when you, yourself, believe you don't deserve it."

28. The bed already felt empty before he left.

29. "After all you've done to me, I must be drunk to still love you, but I haven't touched a drink since you left."

30. She was like a painting come to life with such perfection in her imperfections.

31. She held his face in her hands, lightly rubbing his cheeks, knowing that tomorrow will only bring heartbreak.

32. "I cry for you, feel for you, but who will do that for me?"

33. "Can't you take me home one last time?"

34. With his life fading ever more, he sweetly uttered their name as his body crumbled to nothingness.

35. "Dear diary, I'm back on my bullshit, and I'm not sorry."

36. As much as the loneliness ate away at her heart, she couldn't risk letting anyone in her heart to destroy what little she had left.

37. "Perhaps, you never needed to get piss drunk to forget someone. Lucky you..."

38. "I-I'm really trying here, but you're making me feel like my efforts are unappreciated."

39. The same nightmare plagued them these past several months when  things from the nightmare begin to manifest in real life.

40. After the loss of their creator and purpose of existence, an Android is met with a dilemma in the form of a lost baby.

41. "You have to get this right because you can't go marrying an orc and braid like you don't have thumbs."

42. "I know this is awkward because I never meant to release the great devil of the 7th Circle of Hell nor have intentions of making a deal, but I did make too much pasta again."

43. "My Hell ain't fire and white hot coals. My Hell is a big beautiful home with an equally big yard with no one, no family or friends, to share it with."

44. "Dying ain't too scary, but, I'll tell you what, if dying means I'll be alone on the other side, you can consider me terrified."

45. "Either my parents were cursed with over sensitive children, or I was cursed being born into a cruel family, and I don't know which is worse."

46. "Let me return to a time when everything was still perfect."

47. "Take this heart from me! The weight of a human heart is too much for me to bear."

48. "So many words bubble up in my throat when I see you, but all I want to tell you is you're beautiful."

49. "I can't even remember what I was worried about when the sight of you melted away all my anxiety."

50. "From just the simple touch of our fingertips, I already felt the sparks, baby."

51. Her eyes, just the right shade of amber, caught mine, and time slowed and only we existed.

52. "I could never let you go. Not even the strongest of winds or hottest of fires could get me to."

53. "I, uh jeez, I really wanted to say something, but I got all caught up in your radiance."

54. Curse my weak heart! Tomorrow, I will confess my feelings to him or forget it all!

55. "Theft! There's been a theft! My heart's been taken!"

56. "Pfft, you're not as scary as you make yourself out to be, ya know."

57. "You're either hungry or angry so have some pancakes first, jerk!"

58. "You didn't have to pack your whole house for a day trip!"

59. "You're a real piece of work, ya know, but you're hot so I guess I can let it go."

60. "I gotta thank sober me later for setting out the hangover kit."

61. "It's not hard to read you when you wear your heart on your sleeve."

62. "Gosh, my hands are just so cold! If only I had mittens, or gloves, or even the warmth of another pair of hands."

63. They felt like their mind was slowly losing itself the more they stayed in the same room as that person.

64. "Hey, give me some of your burdens to shoulder, too. You don't have to be afraid of me leaving you because of them."

65. The loving dreams have ceased, and my heart is missing its piece.

66. "I can be his mama AND his papa because, as long as that child needs a loving adult in his life, I'm not going anywhere."

67. In my dreams, I only see you, but my eyes open, upon the shiny light of day, and are pleasantly surprised to find my dream sleeping peacefully next to me.

68. "I'm afraid if I don't tell you now, you'll have lived your entire life not knowing how you had my heart and will always have it."

69. "Nice."

70. The world stopped and held it's breath as we danced under the moon, and your eyes captured the light of all the stars.

71. "Oh, spare me the lecture. I know you wish I was more like my brothers and sisters, and I'm sorry my existence itself is a pain, but you could at least pretend to love me."

72. "Oh, child, it doesn't matter that you were born of me or not because I can't imagine how to love you any more without suffocating you!"

73. "Sweetie, no matter what happens between us, you'll never be a mistake to me because there's no way I could ever stop loving you."

74. "Ain't nothing wrong with crying and snotting and drooling all over the place, sweetheart. Gotta let all that shit out so your heart don't have to carry all that hurt."

75. "I don't want you getting lost in the crowd so I guess you can hold my hand or whatever."

76. "I didn't buy extra food for you! I just happen to redeem my points on the night you were coming over... that's all."

77. "God save us all. I think your brother went to fix the fridge again."

78. No one could have survived that, yet he fervently rubbed his dear friend's hands and face, hoping that the pinkish blush color would return.

79. "Daffodils, honey, pine, and nectar, but the sweetest of them all is something that cannot be replicated, duplicated, or copied: you."

80. "I'm most afraid that, in my mind, you will be nothing more than a distant, flittering memory."

81. "Promise me! You must promise me that, in another life or another time, you'll find me again."

82. And then I was given a choice: love or reason.

83. "Why am I still a monster if she loved me?"

84. "My heart doesn't flutter for you anymore."

85. "Stay by my side... please."

86. The rumble of the bus lulled them to sleep, their hairs tickling my neck as they slowly drifted to my shoulder and to the land of dreams.

87. "You don't understand! There is- no, there must be something wrong with me, fundamentally... otherwise I'm, I'm just a terrible person for no reason."

88. "I want you to make me just another lovely memory for you to look back on. Can you do that for me, love?"

89. "The taste of your lips left me breathless."

90. "What good are my eyes if not to soak in the magnificence that is you?"

91. "Countless times I've poured my heart onto paper, proclaiming the absolute passion in my heart for you, but it always ends with me waking up."

92. "It breaks my heart to see that I haven't got yours while, at first sight, you've stolen mine."

93. "You are a beautiful candle flame for your warmth and comfort is something I can never grasp."

94. "I, normally, am eloquent, well spoken, among many other things, but, around you, I've become speechless."

95. "An anchor to the ship in my mind, you've become more than a friend in my eyes."

96. "Days, or months, or years have passed. I cannot tell you which for even a minute without you is eternity."

97. "I feel like I'm floating with you."

98. "You may not deserve someone to love, but am I not deserving to love you?"

99. "Even when you think you've hit rock bottom, and everyone's left you, I'll always be there."

100. "It was tough, huh? I'm so proud you got through the thick of it."

[bengiyo]

My Only 12% Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

Alright. We had three great kisses this week from Minato's Laundromat, Love in the Air, and The Eclipse. You can do it, too, My Only 12%...but I'm sure you're just gonna break hearts this week.

These two are so codependent that I don't even know how their friends cope with them.

I tell ya. I am 100% with Eiw on being annoyed about Cake flirting with a girl in Eiw's bed.

NOW KISS??? Of course not. Just these two growing apart and not knowing what to do.

Boy Sompob has been with us since the beginning (The Shake song on the Lovesick OST still slaps), so it's a huge relief to hear him on the soundtrack for this show. He's been very sick, but has been optimistic on socials and recently celebrated the anniversary of his fan club.

Eiw's friends being named Fee and Kung makes me think of fecund. I'm so sorry

Sometimes it's just nostalgic to watch these boys and see them dealing with growing pains. Cake has done nothing wrong with Rin, but his friends and Eiw aren't necessarily keen on sharing him

Damn, everyone is going at Cake about Rin. I feel bad for Rin now.

Ah, and here Sand goes. I was worried about the mention of the piggybank earlier. Not keen on this!

Oh no, here we go with this Peak pursuing Eiw's sister plotline. 😒

I do like how the Thai boys portrayed in BL don't seem as afraid of touching each other. Maybe I was too closeted growing up, but it felt like American boys just cannot have casual affection.

Auntie Proud is correct. Cake will weep when Eiw stops waking him up.

Now I'm gonna be wondering what Auntie Proud said to Cake forever.

And now Sand is nowhere to be found. He took the money and ran.

Slaps Peak on the head. You can fit so much BL in this boy.

Note to self: do not order sausages in Thailand.

Sand really is a shit. How cruel.

I'm glad I didn't have to watch Santa and Oreo fight, but I hope Cake whooped Sand's ass. I'd be there like:

Spill the tea? Were we saying that in 2007, or is that just an enthusiastic translation?

I really like the way both of their moms engage with them. It's loving, but not overly indulgent. Cake did get into a fight, and should face consequences for that.

I like Prem as a big brother a lot.

I'm really liking this door metaphor for building trust. American tv and filmmakers come from smaller families, but Thailand still has a culture where lots of people have siblings. The energy feels right.

I'm not pro-spanking, but I do know what others went through. Cake's family feels normal. The mom administering discipline. The dad offering tacit support, but approving of the victory. The sister teasing.

We still didn't learn what was bothering Cake.

The hets are in the preview... Ah, Cake is leaving next episode. Time for the drama.

[1dfangirls35]

The Language of Your Soul

An enemies to lovers ballet au in 5 acts

Masterlist // Tell Me What You Think

Banner: @booksncoffee​

Act II

Sorry for the intermission guys but I’m back! 

Warnings: This story (and chapter) will contain language, mentions of emotional abuse from a parent and eating disorders. Please read at your own discretion. 

Eight Weeks Until Opening Night

Giselle's left hand grips the cool metal of the bar, her legs shaking uncontrollably beneath her -a result no doubt, of her five mile run this morning before rehearsals. Maybe that hadn't been the best idea after all.

Giselle hears Teagan enter the studio after her, announcing her entrance with the loud thud of her duffle bag hitting the floor. Giselle watches as Teagan grabs her pointe shoes out of the bag, taking a seat on the floor a few feet away from Giselle.

Giselle hates that Teagan has to be here, taking part in Giselle's solo rehearsals. The role of Odette was challenging enough- a true feat of technical perfection and stamina. She didn't need Teagan, the person who could snatch her dream role out from under her with just a few missteps, to watch her struggle through her early rehearsals. It makes Giselle feel like she is the prey, and Teagan is lurking in the shadows simply waiting for a moment of weakness to swoop in and swallow her up.

"How are rehearsals with Harry going?" Teagan asks, breaking the silence.

"Fine," Giselle responds shortly. But rehearsals are not going fine. They are an all-out disaster.

In the week and a half since the cast list had been announced, Giselle and Harry had yet to practice beyond their scheduled company rehearsals and it was showing. Giselle had tried on numerous occasions to suggest they work on the basics on their own but Harry had pushed it aside saying, "You've just got to know the choreography better."  Giselle left every rehearsal feeling like a complete and utter failure- unworthy of dancing with the likes of Harry Styles.

"A dancer like that can make anyone look good," Teagan says with a tone that implies that Giselle needs some help "looking good". Giselle ignores the comment, instead, mentally running through the choreography for the Act II variation.

Anna Elliot interrupts Giselle's mental rehearsal as she enters the room. It's strange to see Anna in a black tracksuit instead of a leotard and tights, her dark black hair falling around her shoulders instead of pulled back into its usually neat bun. Her face looks tired; her usual bright smile absent. Giselle supposes it can't be easy for her to be on the other side of the stage, leading the rehearsal instead of dancing it.

"Ladies," she announces. "We are going to run through the Act II variation today. Giselle, you'll go first."

Giselle nods, pulling up the waistband of her white practice tutu as she positions herself upstage center in the studio. She tries to ignore Teagan's narrow eyes staring at her as the pianist begins  to play.

As she dances Giselle thinks through each and every movement. Smooth développé, lifted attitude, airy bourrées. When she finishes her chaîné turns at the end of the variation, she exhales deeply- not realizing how much she had been holding her breath.

She looks towards Anna for approval. "Nicely done Giselle. Now I'd like you to work on those  chaînés at the end. Really make sure they are tight and quick."

Giselle nods in understanding.

"But overall, beautiful execution of the choreography. We really just need to fine tune."

Giselle smiles smugly, glancing at Teagan who stands with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Teagan," Anna announces, gesturing for the understudy to take her stab at the variation. Giselle watches as Teagan runs the variation, but mentally she's thinking about all the things she could have done better in her own.

"Well done, Teagan. Now your attitudes were a little sloppy, let's work on really lengthening that back leg and lifting your chest okay?" Teagan nods. "But I loved the emotion that you put into your dancing. Giselle?" Anna calls, grabbing her attention. "Did you notice the emotion that Teagan puts into her movements? It's something that I'd like you to work on incorporating into your variation. The audience needs to feel what Odette is feeling through you. Let's do it from the top."

Giselle runs the routine again. She tries to 'portray the emotion' like Anna wants, but instead her heads caught up in executing her turns and keeping her arms sharp. When she ends the variation, Anna looks over at her with disappointed eyes. "More" is all she says.

Giselle runs it again. And another time. And each time, Anna tells her it is not enough. That Giselle needs to embrace being Odette. That the audience needs to understand the pain of her being trapped in this body of a swan with no escape.

"Teagan, why don't you run again. Giselle pay close attention this time."

Giselle feels her frustration grow as she watches Teagan again. Teagan's movements are still sloppy, and she messes up the step-over turns at the end, but when she finishes Anna looks over at Giselle like they've just watched the most magnificent performance. "That is the emotion I need to see Giselle."

Anna looks down at her watch. "Well I think our rehearsal time is up for today. Keep working on that emotion Giselle, its a very important part of this ballet."

Giselle nods and smiles, but inside her guts are wrenching at the thought of this rehearsal getting back to her mother. She has to do better. She must.

******

If Harry had learned one thing in his time as a professional ballet dancer, it was that relationships and commitments were the hidden poison of a professional dancer's career. He'd watched many sets of partners fall in love, only to ruin their careers in the aftermath of their failed relationship.

That is why Harry chose to remain unattached. Well, the why he chose to accept anyway. He wasn't a man that ignored his needs, but a night with Harry Styles was just that- a night. No feelings and no attachments.

Take for example the girl he took home last week after the party for his addition to the company. What was her name again? Eliza, yes that's right. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Eliza. She was pretty, a fair conversationalist and perfectly good in bed. Harry had supposed she must even be a decent ballerina, considering she was a corps de ballet member at the American Ballet Theatre. But to Harry, Eliza had only been a nice shag and a body to fall asleep next to on a night when a bustling New York City felt a little too lonely.

Apparently, however, Harry had been less than clear with dear Eliza about this, because as Harry chats with the tall, auburn-haired dancer standing in front of him as they warm up for company class, he can see the daggers of jealousy emitting from Eliza's eyes. He doesn't know this girl's name, the new one, but he can already sense the desire wafting from her body. The way she's learning forward to be closer to him as she stretches. The way she's laughing theatrically with every word that Harry says. The way her eyes are lingering on his lips for just a second too long as he speaks. He's beginning to think she might be a little much for him and makes a mental note to choose a different spot at the barre for tomorrow's company class.

He knows he's in trouble when the second the reverence ends, Eliza rushes over to him with and without saying a word slaps him across the cheek with more force than he thought possible out of her thin little arms.

Harry's skin stings from the blow, the corner of his eye watering ever so slightly. He presses a hand to the injured tissue in response to the attack. But this is not the first time Harry's received such an offense, and it likely won't be the last.

"So what are you just jumping on to the next one?" she shrieks. Harry looks around the room, noticing that people have stopped packing up their things and are now staring at him like he's a caged animal at the zoo.

"I'm sorry love, I'm not sure what you mean," Harry says in a low voice, hoping to signal to this highly emotional girl that this was not the time nor the place to have a reaction like this.

His words, however, appear to have the opposite effect because he watches her eyes flair with a new burst of anguish.

"Rachel!" the girl shouts, as if Harry has the foggiest idea who Rachel is. "Everyone in the room could see how much she was flirting with you. Did last weekend mean nothing to you?!" Eliza's thrown her hands up now, gesturing wildly in a way that's anything but graceful. "You said you would call and you never did."

Harry glances at his audience.  Mistress Ivanova is standing in  the corner with her arms crossed, looking less than pleased. He grabs Eliza's arm, pulling her towards the door and into the hallway. "Let's take this outside."

When they stop in the hallway, dancers bustling past them on the way to their next rehearsal. Eliza looks up at him. Her brown eyes are tinged with red and Harry wonders if she's about to cry. He'd made a mistake with this one clearly. She was too emotional. Too clingy. Too easily attached. "I never said I would call." Harry says softly, trying to keep his voice calm but firm.

"But you said you had a 'lovely time last night. Thank you.' Eliza sniffles.

She isn't wrong about that. Harry thought. And he did have a lovely time. He usually had a lovely time. But that certainly didn't mean he planned to repeat it. "I did have a lovely time Eliza." he begins, watching as her eyes flicker with something resembling hope. "But that doesn't mean I was going to call."

"It doesn't?" the girl sniffed, bringing her hand up to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye.

"Listen, love. I don't do dating. I don't do commitments. I don't do relationships. It's nothing against you. I'm certain you're a lovely girl. It's just..." Harry pauses. "How I do things."

Eliza looks at him wide-eyed, like Harry has just burst her forty-eight hour fantasy that they were going to run away together and travel the world and fall in love.

"I'm sorry if you got the impression that that was simply more than a one night thing. That was never my intention."

"Okay," she says timidly, and he can tell she's embarrassed. She shouldn't be- she wasn't the first girl to react like this. Harry seemed to draw admirers to him like mosquitos to sitting water. Some knew it couldn't be more than a one-night stand, others, like Eliza, reveled in the fantasy that they were the one that would convert Harry Styles into a life of commitment. The later were always disappointed.

"Are we good then? This won't happen again?" Harry raises his eyebrow. He's already fearing the repercussions he may get from Eliza's little outburst. He is already on a short leash here at ABT, and this was surely not going to help matters.

"We're good," she replies softly, but her face is filled with defeat.

"Well then, off to rehearsals." Harry adjusts his duffle bag across his shoulder and makes his way towards his rehearsal studio.

Harry already knows he's late when he enters the rehearsal studio. Giselle's standing there with her arms crossed, tapping the tip of her pointe shoe against the floor with impatience. She doesn't scare him, but the face of Mistress Ivanova when he enters the room does.

"Mr. Styles," she announces with a voice that resembles that of a mother about to lecture her young child. "Let me be the first to say that I take little interest in who you choose to spend your personal time with. When the choices made in that personal time, however, disturb my class and my rehearsals, it becomes my business. What happened today was completely unacceptable. And it will not happen again. May I remind you that you are on a very short leash here at ABT. Another incident like today and you will be replaced."

Six months ago, when Harry was at the Royal, he might have argued back. Reminded this instructor that she could replace him all she wanted but that people had bought their season tickets to see HIM- not some understudy. Reminded Mistress Ivanova that he could have a spot at any company in the world, and that it was HER job to make sure he stayed. But that kind of reaction, that thought process, was exactly what had landed him in this position in the first place- half a world away from home. Alone and at risk of losing a career in dance. So he bites his tongue and simply replies, "I understand."

He glances over at Giselle, who has something resembling a smirk across her face. When his eyes meet hers she quickly turns away.

"Now, we are going to work on the Act II white adagio today. I presume you two have spent some time together working on partnering so this should go smoothly." Mistress Ivanova claps her hands and signals the pianist to begin playing the music.

The fact that they hadn't practiced quickly becomes apparent. Their timing is completely off, the promenades are wobbly,  and the dancing seems forced and unfamiliar.

"Maybe if you weren't making your way through the entire corps de ballet we could actually rehearse together," Giselle mutters under her breath as Mistress Ivanova leaves the room with a face that looks less than pleased.

"Maybe if you didn't act like I was about to drop you every time we promenade..." Harry begins.

"How do I know you aren't going to drop me when we've barely danced together?!"

Harry laughs. "I'm Harry Styles. I don't drop my partners, no matter how...annoying I may find them."

"Oh please," Giselle rolls her eyes. "Are you trying to make everyone in this company hate you? I mean if you keep at it with the corps and you'll have to skip company class all together." Giselle preps for a pirouette then relevés, feeling Harry's firm grip on her waist as she turns and he stops her abruptly. "Although I don't know, I get the sense that you like all that attention."

"Believe me Giselle," he accentuates the end of her name like it's a bad sound. "The last thing I want is to get emotionally involved with any of these company members."

Giselle preps for a pirouette again, this time Harry stops her smoothly, and she comes to balance in passé before lowering herself back onto her heels.

"Seems like Eliza was emotionally involved this morning. Sex will do that to people."

"Sex is just dancing without clothes, love." Harry replies, and the way his eyes meet hers in the mirror while his hands are placed on her waist sends a shiver down Giselle's spine. "Haven't you ever spent the night with someone just to escape?"

"Of course." Giselle responds, stumbling in her words only slightly. "But I know the importance of keeping my career and my private life separate."

The truth of the matter was, of late, Giselle hadn't had much of a private life. It was ballet this, ballet that. Any hours not spent in the studio were spent icing her achying feet and tired muscles. Giselle had done it once, the whole relationship thing. He was a young businessman who she met at a fundraiser for the company and he had been wonderful. Until she began to spend time with him instead of in the studio, and her mother quickly noticed her regression of skills.

Natalia Korsakova had been quick to express her distaste in the relationship and the effect it was having on her daughter's dancing. But luckily (or unluckily) for Giselle, she didn't have to be the one to break it off. One night she was laying in bed, watching a movie with a man she thought she might be falling for. Two days later, he simply stopped answering her texts or picking up his phone. He simply dropped out of Giselle's life with no explanation.

After that, Giselle knew better then to get involved with anyone who might distract her from her career. She decided maybe it was for the better, after all if there was one theme to be taken from the world of ballet, it was that love rarely ended in happy endings. There were far too many leads who sacrificed their lives in the name of love and for what? A pretty pas de deux in a pancake tutu of the afterlife?

"Hmm," Harry replies, but by the way his lips have formed into a kind of half smirk Giselle doesn't think he believes her.

They run through the variation again. It's better, their timing not nearly as disasterous as it had been a half hour earlier, but it still feels off. Unfamiliar. Like they were two strangers dancing, which Giselle supposed they were.

Mistress Ivanova doesn't return to the studio. Instead, it's Viktor who appears, twisting his hands together in awkwardness as he steps towards the front of the room. "Mistress Ivanova sent me in to run you through the variation again. She says she doesn't want to see it again until it, and I quote," Viktor pauses for emphasis. "No longer looks like it's torture to dance with each other."

Giselle hears a low chuckle leave Harry's lips. Was he amused by this? The fact that his inability to do what was asked of him had pissed off Mistress Ivanova.

"Let's run it. From the top," Viktor gestures to the pianist that has also returned to the room.

Giselle sighs, taking a deep breath before making her way to the starting point. The run the piece once- Giselle falls from the promenade. A second time- Harry doesn't stop her on the last pirouette. The third time is less technically faulty, but when Viktor stops them again, his face looks less than thrilled.

"Look guys, I know it can't be easy, being thrown into rehearsals with someone you've never danced with before. All your issues can be fixed easily once you are more comfortable with each other. More familiar with each others movements. It's going to take time, and rehearsal. And that's going to have to be rehearsal outside of normal hours."

Giselle glances over at Harry. His lips are formed in a straight line- emotionless.

"Just please. Practice before next weeks rehearsal with her?" Viktor's eyes are pleading this time, like he doesn't want to have to be the bad guy in this situation anymore.

Giselle nods, but out of the corner of her eye she notices that Harry remains completely still.

"Well, that's all for today. Thanks guys." Viktor announces before leaving the studio.

Giselle sits down, untying the ribbon of her pointe shoes. "So when would you be available to practice?"

Harry scoffs. "Practice? I don't think I'm the one that needs to learn the fucking choreography."

Giselle is taken aback by Harry's harsh tone. But she wasn't going to put up with this. Like it or not she was Harry's partner. And like it or not, they were going to have to put in some time if they wanted to keep their roles as the stars of the show. Harry was simply going to have to realize that he had just as much to practice as she does.

"No one said anything about the choreography," Giselle replies, her voice strong. "This isn't the Royal, Harry you can't go walking around like you own the place."

"And you can?" Harry scoffs. "Just because your mother's got a spot on the board doesn't make you the star of the show, love."

The word love at the end of his sentence almost cushions the blow of his words. Almost.

"You don't know the first thing about my relationship with my mother," Giselle spit back.

"And you don't know anything about starring in a show-clearly."

Giselle doesn't respond to this one. Instead she just narrows her eyes. "Tomorrow night, after rehearsals. This studio. We have to practice Harry, I won't have Mistress Ivanova storm out of another one of our rehearsals."

"And what are you going to do if I don't show? Are you going to run and cry to your mummy?" Harry taunts.

Giselle stands, slinging her bag across her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow," she states firmly.

She can feel her blood boiling as she exits the studio and makes her way towards the staircase. If this was what it was like to be Odette, maybe she wasn't cut out for it. It was hard to imagine a scenario and which her and Harry's partnership would result in a magnificent performance.

"Giselle!" she turns and sees Viktor from the corner of eye, near the end of the hallway. He rushes towards her.

"Good job today. Harry may not be the most..." he stops, his mind searching for the word, "enthusiastic partner."

Giselle offers a weak smile. "You can say that again."

"If you ever want extra practice, I'd be more than happy to run through any of the variations with you. It may not be the solution to all your problems but..."

"Thank you Viktor, I appreciate it." She smiles and makes a step towards the door. "Sorry to hear about your retirement by the way, I'll really miss watching you on stage."

Viktor shrugs. "I guess sometimes it's just time to let one journey come to an end. You won't miss me too much though, I'm gonna be more involved with rehearsals." He smiles, but Giselle can see that behind his blue eyes, pain hides.

"Good. Well, I better go get some rest. Caleb has been texting me non-stop about our dinner plans for the evening," Giselle gestures towards the stairs.

"Better get on that then, don't want to keep the man waiting. Good night Giselle."

"Goodnight," she replies.

******************************

Giselle wishes she hadn't agreed on dinner with Caleb as she opens the door to her apartment. But Caleb was her best friend, and after a long day of rehearsals, his company was something that she desperately needed.

As Giselle sets her black duffle bag on the floor inside her bedroom, her phone begins to ring on the kitchen counter. She leaps across the floor to reach it, but when she glances down, the name on the screen makes her pulse quicken. Could this day get any worse?

"Hello mother," Giselle brings the phone to her ear, walking over to the couch and laying down, her feet up in the air.

"Giselle," her mother replies curtly. There's no darling at the end of her name. That's how Giselle knows this isn't a happy check-in motherly phone call. It's going to be the kind of phone call Giselle wishes she could mute. But then again, that's what everyone of mother's phone calls was.

"I ran into Mistress Ivanova this afternoon. I have to say Giselle, I was quite disappointed when I asked about rehearsals and she told me that she had to leave your pas de deux rehearsal because of how much work needed to be done. How many times have we discussed the importance of going into rehearsals prepared?"

Only a million times. Giselle responds in her head, but instead she remains silent.

"Now what on earth is going on between you and Harry Styles? Do you know how hard we worked to bring him here? I hope you are being a good partner. Have you been following that diet I sent you? Getting your extra mile in in the mornings?"

"Yes mother," she responds in monotone. She won't mention the street tacos Caleb is bringing over for dinner. She can't listen to that lecture tonight. "I've been trying to get Harry to put in the extra time, but he seems uninterested."

"Well try harder Giselle. You can't be the reason he doesn't stay at the company. Can you imagine the embarrassment I would get if my own daughter was the reason we lost out on one of the premier male ballet dancers of this generation? I don't know if I could show my face at a board meeting ever again."

Of course it was her own reputation her mother was concerned about. It didn't matter that Harry Styles might ruin Giselle's chances of every making principal. All that mattered was that Natalia Korsakova maintained her legacy.

Giselle hears a knock at the door. Caleb, thank god. She rises from the couch and makes her way to the door. "Find a way to get things going with Harry.  Rehearse with him. Next time I speak with Mistress Ivanova I don't want to hear a negative thing about your performance." Giselle opens the door to see a smiling Caleb, brown paper bag in hand. "You have to do better Giselle, this may be your only opportunity to prove you can dance at a principal level."

Caleb mouths "Your mom?" and Giselle nods as he enters the apartment, setting the bag on the table and then making his way towards the white cupboards for plates.

"I know mom. It won't happen again. Listen, I've got to go. Caleb's going to run through Act II with me for a bit. Okay?"

"Okay," her mother sighs on the other line. Like it's a terrible inconvenience for her to have been on the phone for so long. "But don't forget to reach out to Harry about rehearsals too."

"I won't. Goodbye mom."

"Bye," Natalia responds, but Giselle barely hears her words before hanging up.

Giselle slams her phone down on the kitchen table which results in a raised eyebrow from Caleb "What'd she have to lecture you on today?"

"My disaster of a pas de deux rehearsal," Giselle shakes her head, making her way to the sink and filling a glass of water.

"And why was it such a disaster?" Caleb asks, setting a plate and napkin in front of Giselle's spot.

"Because Mistress Ivanova walked out on us,"

Giselle watches as shock fills her best friend's face. He stops what he is doing. "She what?"

"She walked out. And she won't rehearse with us again until we don't 'look like it's torture to dance with each other."

"It's that bad?" Caleb asks, now taking a bite of his taco.

"Worse. I mean it's been almost two weeks since cast posting and Harry has yet to agree to practice with me outside of rehearsals. I mean how our we ever going to dance with each other if we don't practice!"

Caleb opens his mouth to say something but Giselle continues. "I finally had enough today. I told him we are practicing tomorrow night. Doubt he shows though. And then what? My one chance to prove myself and it's a complete disaster."

"Gi," Caleb says, reaching for her hand across the table. "Take a deep breath."

She looks into his brown eyes and follows as they inhale and exhale in unison. It was an action they'd done a million times before, backstage awaiting their first performance as company members, when Caleb submitted his first choreographed routine to a local amateur dance company. It always seemed to bring them back to center, wherever they were, whatever the stressor, one deep breathe and things began to fall back into place.

Giselle would like to say that this worked a miracle. That the thought of failing her mother yet again wasn't racing through her mind. But it still was. Fainter, but still lingering.

"I just don't know what to do with him, Caleb. Harry Styles has to be the worst partner in the world."

"He's definitely proved why he got kicked out of the Royal. Guy's got an attitude."

"Why couldn't you be my partner?" Giselle sighed.

"Because, as Mistress Ivanova would say. I waste too much of my time on that choreography dream," Caleb sighs.

"It's not a waste of time, Caleb. You're choreography is groundbreaking."

"Maybe. Maybe not. But do you know what is groundbreaking? These tacos."

Giselle hasn't touched the fried, greasy mess wrapped in foil in front of her. To be honest, she isn't even hungry. If she had been alone in her apartment, she'd likely have opted for a salad, if anything at all. But Caleb was one of those people who believed food was the best cure after a long day. And Giselle needed his company more than anything, so she forces down the greasiness bite by bite.

Caleb begins to fill Giselle in on his own Swan Lake rehearsals. As well as the piece he is choreographing that he hopes Gregory, the artistic director will consider for the school showcase come spring. Then he updates her as always, on Finn, the coffee shop owner from down the street that he is infatuated with.

As they chat, Caleb's favorite street tacos grow heavy in Giselle's stomach.

Giselle makes her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her with a click. She examines herself in the mirror, bringing a hand up to pull at her cheek. Her chin looks large, like she's had just a few too many street tacos, and her collarbones lack the definition that usually makes them stand out from her shoulders. Her mom's words echo through her mind. "Eat less Giselle. Exercise more Giselle. You need to be a good partner Giselle."

Giselle doesn't want to. She's been so good for so long, but yet- the urge is coming over her and it's so strong she can't ignore it, because she just knows that if she does this she will feel better. Just this once. Just until that heavy feeling of greasy street food is no longer lingering in her stomach.

She flips on the faucet, letting the sound of running water drum in the background.

She walks over to the toilet and kneels down, the gray ceramic tile of her bathroom floor is cold and hard, and her knees crack as she adjusts her weight. She leans over the toilet, her mouth open and her fingers nearby, willing up the strength to just do it. A few moments, and she could forget those tacos happened all together.

Giselle closes her eyes and executes and soon her dinner is staring back at her from the toilet bowl. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, reaching up and flushing the evidence. She then moves to the sink, cupping water into her hands until there's enough to gargle in her throat and rinse the sour taste from her mouth. She reaches for the pink toothbrush on the corner of the counter, applying a thin line of mint toothpaste before beginning to brush.

As she brushes, she tells herself this is just a one time thing. A solution to one poor dietary decision. She wasn't falling back into her old habits. This wouldn't happen again.

As she spit out the minty foam and looked in the mirror once more, Giselle told herself she felt better.

"Gi?" Caleb knocks on the door, bringing her out of her trance. "You alright in there?"

Giselle opens the door quickly, forcing a smile on her face. "Fine, tacos just didn't settle well." She pushes towards the couch, eager to get something else on her mind. "Shall we watch the next episode of The Crown?"

"Sounds perfect," Caleb replies, settling into the couch beside her.

**********************

Harry's not sure who is more surprised as he walks into the rehearsal studio later the next afternoon- Giselle or himself. He hadn't wanted to show up. But after the events with Eliza and the way rehearsal went, he knew he didn't have much choice. This didn't have to become a regular occurrence, just enough to get the Director off his back - and his obnoxious partner. Plus, dancing was better than sitting in his tiny New York City apartment alone, which seemed to have become even more lonely in recent weeks.

"Look who decided to make an appearance," Giselle says, hands on her hips as Harry slings his duffle bag to the side of the room.

"Yes I'm here. No need to gloat about it," Harry snaps. He wasn't sure what had come over him lately, this newfound bitterness. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that for the first time in his career, he was feeling the pressure of messing up. He could lose everything.

Harry had always been arrogant. He knew that about himself. It was the role he played to protect himself- from getting too close and getting hurt all over again. But as this personality trait slowly burned through his professional life, he began to wonder if it was doing more harm than good.

"Well then," he asks. "Shall we rehearse?" He looks at Giselle, who simply stares at him. The tip of her pointe shoe tapping against the Marley floor. What was she waiting for?

"Look Giselle, you don't like me. I get it. I'm not particularly fond of you either, but I showed up today and I'm ready to figure this out. This partnership. So can we please just rehearse?"

Giselle stares at him, slightly amused by the reversal of roles- the fact that for once Harry Styles was the one begging for her to practice with him. Her lips curve into a half smile. "Okay."

"I think we should go back to the basics. Finger pirouettes, whip turns, the whole lot." Giselle nods in agreement. Where had this Harry come from? She felt like at any moment she might jolt awake from her bed and realize this was all a dream, because this was certainly not the version of Harry Styles she had encountered during their first two weeks as partners. She wants to ask him about his sudden change of heart, but decides to bite her tongue. It didn't matter why Harry was here, just that he was.

Giselle stands in front of Harry her feet in relevé. She reaches for his hands, one above her and one beside her.

"How's that for grip?" Harry asks.

Giselle's startled that he's asking for her input. "Good...ya...let's just see..." She raises her leg to passé, then développé it to the front and turns. "Maybe bring my left arm a little more forward," she suggests, then turns again. "Yes that's better."

They continue this formula through the basics. Whip turns, fish dips, shoulder sits, promenades. Harry tells Giselle when she's not holding enough of her weight. Giselle tells Harry when his grip is too strong, too lose.

He's calmer today- more present. Giselle can see that he actually could be a very good partner- when he tries too. He's gentle with his lifts, steady with his balance, and although she doesn't trust him fully, she doesn't get the sense that he's going to purposefully let her fall on her face.

Giselle even thinks, that as she stares into Harry's eyes after a dip- that there's a glimmer of softness between the strong green hue. She sees why women find him attractive. Why girls in the corps fawn over him. His jawline was flawless- razor sharp. What are you thinking Giselle, she thinks to herself. All the beauty in the world can't hide his personality.

"Shall we run Act II?" Harry asks, and Giselle is shocked. She figured that she'd only be able to convince Harry to rehearse for an hour tops, and two had already passed.

"I think that would be good," she says.

Harry nods as they move to their places. Act II goes smoother than it has before. There's still hiccups. Giselle's body still feels unfamiliar in his hands and he can't anticipate her movements like he could Mia's- but Giselle's confidence has grown and he thinks there's a potential for this not to end in full on disaster.

She's quite good actually. Her technique is near flawless- no doubt due to the hours of late nights she spends in the studio. And Harry realizes that maybe he has been a bit unfair to her. She still was annoying, a perfectionist, too wrapped up in the movement instead of simply dancing- but she was a good dancer. She had potential.

"Think that's enough for tonight," Giselle pants, out of breath from their third run-through of the pas de deux. "Shall we do this again tomorrow?" After the words leave her mouth, she wonders if this is pushing it to far. Maybe she should have settled for one rehearsal with Harry. Getting him to show up for to rehearsals two nights in a row seemed highly unlikely.

"Okay," Harry responds, his answer shocking even himself. "I think we are getting somewhere. It just takes time." He makes his way over to the bar, leaning forward to stretch his hamstrings.

Giselle sits on the ground, unwrapping the silk ribbon of her pointe shoes.

"You know the steps Giselle and I'll make sure you look good out there. Promise," he says, and Giselle thinks that maybe she can see even a hint of a smile.

Giselle pulls her foot out of her shoe, folding her tights back to reveal her stinging blistered feet. She glances over at Harry, his face buried against his leg at the bar- his tights showing off his perfectly toned leg. It makes her think about him- the rumors about his arrival at ABT. She knows she shouldn't ruin the moment but she can't help herself. The words slip out.

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?" Harry asks, but the smirk on his face tells Giselle that he already knows exactly what she is about to ask about.

"Sleep with the director's wife."

"What's it to you?" Harry mutters, placing his other leg on the barre and stretching against it, the muscles of his back growing taunt beneath his white T-shirt.

Giselle shrugged. She didn't know why she was asking. She didn't care. Whatever had transpired at the Royal to bring Harry Styles into her studio was said and done. It's not like she could ship him back there, much to her dismay. "Just wanted to know if there was any fact behind the rumors."

"I could have," Harry says the sharp green of his eyes temporarily dimming. "There are countless women who have thrown themselves at my feet during my career, Mrs. Abbot included."

"But if you didn't... why'd you leave the Royal?"

"Now why would I tell you that when there's such a good story brewing in the company? I hate to kill a good rumor," He chuckles, his voice deep and velvety. He picks up his bag, sliding it across his body in one fluid movement. "Goodnight Giselle. I'll see you tomorrow."

And for the first time Giselle found herself not watching Harry Styles walk away with a feeling of distaste, but a feeling of curiosity.

Taglist:

@tpwkhoney​ ,  @swtxel , @stylessugarhigh

[roguish-gallery]

Sinestro x scarecrow for the ship meme? I'm starved for Sinescrow

YOOOOO LET’S FUCKING GOO!!! I love this ship bc it’s like... one of the few pairings where Jon is unquestionably the simp and its so fucking good. I will say though... it’s been a hot minute since I’ve cracked open my GL comics, so I’m sorry if this comes off as rusty.

send me a ship and i'll tell you

-who cries when someone dies in a movie

Neither lmao they think it’s funny as shit

-who wears the ugly holiday garb

Jon does but only for Halloween

-who pays for the meals

Thaal :)

-who slams the oven door and who plays the trombone

Thaal slams the door, Jon wails on the trombone

-who brings home stray animals

Jon

-who leaves the bathroom door open

Neither. They’re too courteous and thoughtful.

-who tells the ' dad jokes '

... Jon

-who wants kids more

... neither. Thaal is like “lmao been there done that” and Jon is like “why would I want to BEAR children when I can SCARE them??? Also I’m like 40-50ish please”

-who travels more

I mean...Thaal... Because he can fly in space.

-who spends more cash

Jon but only bc Thaal doesn’t have a bank account and I don’t think he knows anything about American currency. And I don’t blame him.

-who buys the things in infomercials

Neither bc they don’t watch tv andjdkdlzmd

-who draws in the dust on their cars

Probably Thaal if he gets bored?

-who starts the snowball fights

THAAL. He’s gentle tho.

-who throws away the directions to things

Both lmao. Thaal is just cocky and Jon just skims the manual/map and typically remembers what to do.

-who puts up holiday decor

Alfred

-who is more likely to forget to bathe

Jon. he spends so much time researching that he won’t notice how many hours had passed

-who gets more obsessed about things

Jon, because he is the Master of Fear (hroo hraa!) and being obsessed with spooky shit comes with the title.

-who sings in the shower more often

Fuck it. You know what? Thaal does.