#i'm sorry but if you find this at all attractive you're either gay or a girl with... well there are standards there

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Bit of a weird day. Dealt with irate parents, truanting, kicked down a toilet door.

And then ended it by getting told on Facebook I look like Tom Cruise (intended positively), and now I've got another straight dude getting proper aggy because I said I tried not to focus on how unattractive I am but on shit I could control. He says I don't qualify as unattractive so can't talk about it.

... Bro, there is a chat we should be havin' and this one ain't it.

Also, I found a rave version of Bella Ciao that slaps.

[dreamersworldduh]

HIS AWAKENING

• NATE JACOBS x MALE!READER

SUMMARY — Nate Jacobs embodies the quintessential all-American quarterback—athletic, commanding, and effortlessly attractive. Beneath the surface, however, lies a man riddled with inner conflict. His outward bravado conceals a fragile core shaped by toxic societal expectations, a broken family dynamic, and a deep struggle with his own identity. Nate's carefully constructed image masks a storm of repressed emotions, his intimidating presence serving as both armor and a warning to those who might venture too close.

That is, until Y/N entered his life. Strikingly handsome and unapologetically bold, Y/N exudes a magnetic confidence that demands attention the moment he walks into a room. His blend of charisma, sass, and fearless energy challenges everything Nate thought he knew about himself—and about the walls he's built to keep others out.

WARNING! FLUFF. Suggestive Langauge. Swearing.

WORDS! 10.8k

AUTHOR'S NOTE! Sorry for the delay—this is quite a long fic that I had to break into two parts. Now, I know some people feel about the immensely complicated Nate Jacobs, however, I wanted to show a different side of him and give his gay awakening.

NEXT PART! HIS AWAKENING — PART 2

The late afternoon sun bathed the campus in a golden hue, casting long, uneven shadows across the pathways. Y/N stepped out of the administrative building, a folder clutched tightly in his hands, filled with room and board information, dormitory rules, and a map of the sprawling university grounds. His mind buzzed with anticipation and a hint of nervousness as he mentally ticked off the steps to get settled. The day had been a whirlwind of check-ins and introductions, and all he wanted now was to find his dorm, unpack, and get a moment to breathe.

Lost in his thoughts, Y/N barely noticed the bustling crowd of students around him until it was too late.

Without warning, he collided with what felt like a brick wall. The impact sent his folder slipping from his grip, papers scattering onto the ground.

"I'm so sorry—" Y/N began, crouching to gather his things, but his apology was cut short by a sharp, irritated voice.

"Maybe you should watch where you're standing," the stranger snapped, his tone clipped and unforgiving.

Y/N froze mid-reach, his gaze snapping upward to meet the source of the hostility. He was greeted by the sight of a towering figure, broad-shouldered and radiating a palpable air of arrogance. The guy was wearing a football jersey, the bold number on his chest practically screaming athlete. His jaw was set, and the way he loomed over Y/N gave off a distinctly entitled vibe.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said, straightening up slowly, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Didn't realize this was your sidewalk, Mr. Quarterback. Want me to bow next time you grace it with your royal cleats?"

The guy's face darkened, a flicker of irritation flashing in his eyes. His jaw tightened as he took a small step forward, towering over Y/N even more. "What's your problem, man?"

"No problem," Y/N replied smoothly, his tone calm but laced with amusement. He dusted off his papers and tucked them back into the folder before glancing back up. "Just don't appreciate being plowed into like I'm part of your warm-up drills. Or is that how you flirt?"

That comment landed like a slap, throwing the quarterback off balance. His brows furrowed, and his mouth opened slightly as if to retort, but he hesitated. Finally, he muttered, "Yeah, not interested, thanks."

Y/N smirked, unbothered, his sharp eyes scanning the guy with calculated precision. There was something about his tightly wound demeanor, the tension in his shoulders, the barely contained frustration in his voice. It was fascinating in a way that made Y/N want to push a little further.

"Relax, big guy. You're not my type either," Y/N said, his smirk widening. "Too much bottled-up rage under all those muscles. But hey, therapy exists for a reason."

The quarterback growled under his breath, his fists clenching at his sides. "You don't even know me," he bit out, his voice low and simmering with frustration.

Y/N shrugged, already stepping to the side as if to end the encounter. "Don't have to. You've got 'walking anger issues' written all over you." He turned back briefly to add, his tone almost lighthearted, "Oh, and next time you want to storm through a crowd, maybe pick someone who won't call you out."

The quarterback's patience snapped, his voice lowering into a growl as he took a step forward. "What makes you think I won't—?"

Y/N didn't miss a beat, spinning on his heel to face him again, his smirk sharp and dripping with confidence. "Fight me? Go ahead, QB. But fair warning—I fight dirty. And I don't lose."

For a moment, the two stood there, tension crackling between them like a live wire. The quarterback's fists remained clenched, but he didn't move. There was something flickering in his eyes—something unreadable, caught between frustration and intrigue.

Without waiting for a response, Y/N turned on his heel and walked away, his steps confident as he rejoined his waiting parents by the car.

As Y/N disappeared into the crowd, the quarterback remained rooted to the spot, watching him go. His fists slowly unclenched, but his mind raced, replaying the encounter over and over.

What Y/N didn't know, as he laughed with his parents and carried his things to the dormitory, was that the guy he had just clashed with was none other than Nate Jacobs—his soon-to-be roommate.

The dormitory hall buzzed with the energy of move-in day, a cacophony of shuffling boxes, shouted instructions, and the occasional crash of something fragile being dropped. Parents bickered over furniture placement, wide-eyed freshmen struggled to find their rooms, and the air smelled faintly of fresh paint and sweat. Y/N navigated through the chaos with a box tucked under his arm, its contents rattling with every step. His other hand gripped the edges tightly—his track gear was in there, and he wasn't about to let it spill everywhere.

When he reached the door to his room, he paused, his gaze sweeping over the space. It was compact, the two beds crammed against opposite walls, a small shared desk wedged between, and a closet barely big enough to hold his shoes, let alone his wardrobe. Functional, sure, but it was far from luxurious. Still, Y/N's mind was already buzzing with ideas for rearranging the space as he crossed the threshold and set his box down near one of the beds.

"Guess this'll have to do," he muttered to himself, surveying the drab beige walls with mild disinterest.

As he began unpacking, the sound of heavy footsteps thudding down the hallway pulled his attention. The steps grew louder, and then the door creaked open wider behind him. Y/N turned, his curiosity fading into sharp recognition when he saw who was standing there.

Nate Jacobs.

The guy from earlier—the walking brick wall in a football jersey. He stood in the doorway with a duffel bag slung over one shoulder, his sharp features framed by the dim light from the hallway. His hoodie hung loosely over his broad frame, but the edge of his jersey peeked out, making it impossible not to identify him as "QB." Their eyes locked, and for a moment, neither said anything.

"Oh, great," Y/N said, breaking the silence as he dropped a shirt onto his bed with an exaggerated sigh. "It's you."

Nate's brow furrowed, his face twisting in mild disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath as he stepped inside. He dropped his bag with a heavy thud onto the empty bed opposite Y/N's, rubbing the back of his neck. "Of all the people on campus..."

Y/N leaned back against his desk, crossing his arms as his lips curved into a smirk. "Didn't think the universe hated me enough to make you my roommate, but hey, here we are."

Nate shot him a look, his irritation obvious. "Trust me, I'm not thrilled either. Last thing I need is to share a room with some loudmouth track star who doesn't know when to shut up."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Loudmouth? Big talk coming from the guy who growled at me like a pissed-off grizzly bear earlier."

"You were the one running your mouth first," Nate countered, his jaw tightening as he crossed his arms.

Y/N straightened up, walking to his stack of boxes with a casual air. "Right," he said, tossing a look over his shoulder. "And you were just minding your own business, Mr. 'Maybe you should watch where you're standing.'"

Nate scoffed, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "Look, let's just get through this without killing each other, alright? I've got enough on my plate without you adding to it."

Y/N paused, one hand resting on the box he was about to open. For a moment, his smirk softened into something more contemplative. "Fine by me," he said lightly. "As long as you don't turn this place into a football locker room, we're good."

"Deal," Nate replied, though his tone carried the faintest hint of skepticism.

Satisfied, Y/N returned to his unpacking, pulling out a stack of books and arranging them on the small shelf above his desk. "You're not gonna do the whole 'alpha male' thing in here, are you?" he asked without looking up.

Nate frowned, clearly caught off guard by the question. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You know," Y/N said, waving a hand in Nate's direction without turning around. "All the posturing, random yelling, punching walls when your team loses. That sort of thing."

Nate's glare could have cut through steel. "Do I look like the kind of guy who punches walls?"

Y/N turned to face him, his gaze raking over Nate's broad frame. "Honestly? Yeah, you kinda do."

Nate opened his mouth to argue but stopped, clearly deciding it wasn't worth the effort. With a low growl, he turned back to his duffel, pulling out a stack of neatly folded shirts.

Y/N chuckled under his breath as he returned to his own unpacking. "Relax, QB," he said with a grin. "I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine. Fair enough?"

Nate didn't look up from his bag, but his response was low and clipped. "Fair enough."

For a while, the room was filled with the sound of zippers, rustling papers, and shuffling clothes. The tension between them hadn't disappeared, but it had simmered down enough for them to coexist—for now.

As Y/N placed a framed photo on his desk, he threw a sly glance in Nate's direction. "By the way," he added, his tone casual but teasing, "you should work on your comebacks. 'Loudmouth track star' isn't exactly cutting it."

Nate's jaw tightened again, his hands pausing mid-fold. But this time, he didn't rise to the bait.

"Welcome to the dorm, Nate," Y/N said with a grin, leaning back against his desk. "This is gonna be... fun."

Nate didn't respond, but as he turned back to his bag, the faintest twitch of a smirk crossed his lips—though it was gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

The sun hung high in the sky, its relentless heat radiating off the manicured grass of the university's sports complex. Sweat clung to the air, sticking to every athlete who dared brave the afternoon heat. The track team had just wrapped up their grueling practice session, their laughter and chatter filling the space near the bleachers.

Y/N stood in the center of his group, casually stretching out his legs. His running shorts were impossibly short, exposing the full expanse of his toned thighs, every muscle seemingly sculpted to perfection. A light sheen of sweat glistened on his skin, catching the sunlight as he leaned into a stretch, completely unbothered by the attention his appearance drew. Y/N was always confident, effortlessly commanding the room—or in this case, the field—without even trying.

Not far away, the football team was mid-drill, their coach barking orders as they ran through their routines. The rhythmic thuds of cleats on turf filled the air, accompanied by the occasional grunt of effort. During a water break, Jake and Ryan, two of Nate's teammates, wandered toward the sideline, their eyes drifting to the scene by the bleachers.

Jake nudged Ryan, nodding toward Y/N. "Man, look at those shorts," he said with a snicker. "I swear, are those even legal? Dude's got more leg on display than half the cheer squad."

Ryan let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. "Right? He's just out here showing off. Like, we get it—you've got legs. Congrats or whatever."

Standing a few feet away, Nate overheard the exchange. He rolled his eyes, tossing a football absently into the air and catching it. Normally, he tuned out their locker-room banter, but today, for some reason, he couldn't resist chiming in.

"Maybe he thinks the shorts make him faster," Nate said, his tone deadpan as he spun the football in his hand. "Aerodynamics or something."

Jake laughed, emboldened by Nate's comment. "Yeah, or he just likes the attention. Look at him. Bet he spends more time flexing in the mirror than running on the track."

Unbeknownst to the trio, Y/N's sharp ears had picked up every word of their conversation. His smirk widened as he straightened up, casually brushing a hand over his shorts as he turned to face them.

"Aw," Y/N called out, his voice sweetly mocking as he strode toward them with deliberate ease. "I didn't realize the football team was so interested in my thighs. Should I start charging for the view, or are compliments enough?"

Jake and Ryan froze mid-laugh, their faces flushing with embarrassment. They exchanged panicked glances, unsure how to respond.

Jake stammered first, trying to recover. "W-We weren't—"

"Oh no, please," Y/N interrupted, holding up a hand as he stepped closer, his smirk wicked. "Don't stop. It's flattering, really. I had no idea my legs were such a hot topic. Maybe next time, though, you could focus on your drills instead of gossiping like high school mean girls."

Ryan muttered defensively, "We weren't gossiping—"

"Sure you weren't," Y/N cut in smoothly, raising an eyebrow. "By the way, if you're gonna talk about someone, maybe be a little less obvious. Your whispers are about as subtle as a marching band."

Jake opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He looked like a fish gasping for air, which only made Y/N's smirk grow.

Finally, Y/N's attention shifted to Nate, who was still standing there, the football frozen in his hand. "And you," Y/N said, his tone growing sharper as he cocked his head. "I'm surprised, QB. You had a whole two cents to throw in, but it's funny—I don't remember asking for your opinion."

Nate blinked, momentarily caught off guard. He wasn't used to being directly challenged, especially not by someone like Y/N. His faint smirk faded into a defensive glare. "I didn't say anything worse than what they said."

Y/N tilted his head, pretending to consider this. "True. But unlike them, I thought you had a spine. Guess I was wrong."

Behind Y/N, the track team, who had been watching the interaction unfold with barely contained glee, erupted into muffled laughter. Jake and Ryan didn't dare respond, their embarrassment palpable.

Satisfied with their stunned silence, Y/N tossed one last smirk over his shoulder as he sauntered back toward his team. "Don't worry, boys," he called out breezily. "Not everyone can pull off confidence and shorts. Better luck next time."

Jake muttered under his breath, "Dude's savage."

Nate didn't respond, though his grip on the football tightened. His gaze lingered on Y/N as he rejoined his group, laughing easily with his teammates as if nothing had happened.

Something about Y/N got under Nate's skin, and it wasn't just the sass. It was the sharp wit, the unapologetic confidence, and the way Y/N had absolutely no fear of putting him in his place. It irritated Nate—but it also intrigued him, in a way he couldn't quite shake.

"Jacobs!" the coach yelled, jolting Nate from his thoughts. "Back on the field!"

Nate turned sharply, tossing the football to a teammate with more force than necessary. But as he jogged back to join the drills, his mind stayed stubbornly stuck on Y/N, replaying the encounter over and over.

The silence between Y/N and Nate had become suffocating, stretching across days with no sign of breaking. The tension hung heavy in their shared dorm room, in the classrooms, even on the fields where they practiced their respective sports. Y/N had made it abundantly clear—he wasn't interested in speaking to Nate, or even acknowledging his existence.

For Nate, the lack of interaction was an unfamiliar and deeply unsettling feeling. He wasn't used to being ignored, especially not like this. It gnawed at him in ways he couldn't fully explain, like a splinter lodged too deep to reach but impossible to forget.

It started off as the first rays of dawn spilled into the room, bathing it in a warm orange glow. Nate lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind replaying their last conversation on the field. Y/N, as usual, was up early, moving quietly around the room as he pulled on a fitted t-shirt over his toned frame. His movements were precise, methodical, and entirely devoid of unnecessary noise—a courtesy Nate was beginning to resent.

As Y/N grabbed his backpack and water bottle from the desk, he glanced briefly at his phone, scrolling through notifications. He didn't so much as glance in Nate's direction.

"Morning," Nate offered, his voice low and tentative, breaking the stillness.

Y/N didn't respond. The only sound that followed was the click of the door as it shut behind him.

Nate sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. It was going to be another long day.

By the time class started, the lecture hall buzzed with muted chatter as students trickled in, taking their seats and pulling out notebooks or laptops. Nate entered behind Jake and Ryan, scanning the rows instinctively until his eyes landed on Y/N. He was seated a few rows ahead, angled slightly toward a classmate he was chatting with.

Without realizing it, Nate chose a seat a few rows back, perfectly positioned for an unobstructed view.

Y/N sat with one leg crossed over the other, his notebook balanced on his knee as he scribbled notes in the margins. Every now and then, he leaned toward the person next to him, whispering something that earned a quiet laugh. Nate couldn't hear the words, but he didn't need to. The easy smile on Y/N's face, the relaxed way he carried himself—it was a stark contrast to the cold shoulder he'd been giving Nate.

Nate's eyes lingered. The way Y/N tapped his pen against the desk, the slight furrow of his brow when he focused, the unconscious habit of brushing his fingers through his hair when he stretched—it was all maddeningly distracting.

"You okay, man?" Jake asked, nudging Nate's elbow.

"Yeah," Nate muttered, tearing his gaze away and forcing himself to focus on the professor's droning voice. But even as he tried to take notes, his eyes kept drifting back to Y/N.

As the heat of the afternoon sun bore down on the sports complex, baking the grass and filling the air with the faint scent of sweat and turf. Nate was supposed to be focused on running passing drills, but his attention kept slipping to the track just beyond the field.

Y/N was sprinting, his powerful strides eating up the distance effortlessly. His movements were fluid, almost graceful, and the way he slowed to a stop after his lap left Nate momentarily frozen.

"Jacobs!" the coach's voice barked, snapping Nate out of his thoughts.

"Focus!"

"Yeah, sorry, Coach," Nate muttered, catching the football mid-air and throwing it with a little more force than necessary.

As he jogged back into position, his eyes darted toward the track again. Y/N was standing by his team, his chest heaving as he took a long swig from his water bottle. One of his teammates said something that made him laugh—a loud, easy sound that made Nate's chest tighten.

It was infuriating how completely oblivious Y/N seemed to his presence.

By the two made into the dorm, it was quiet, the air heavy with unspoken words. Y/N entered first, tossing his bag onto his bed without so much as a glance in Nate's direction. Nate followed, shutting the door behind him with a little more force than necessary.

For a while, the only sound was the faint rustling of Y/N unpacking his gear. Nate leaned against the door, his eyes fixed on him. The silence was unbearable.

"Are you ever gonna talk to me again?" Nate asked finally, his voice cutting through the stillness like a knife.

Y/N didn't even pause. "Didn't think there was anything left to say."

Nate's jaw tightened. "You're really this pissed about what I said on the field?"

Y/N snapped his head up, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Pissed? No, Nate. I'm disappointed. I thought you were at least capable of being decent, but clearly, I overestimated you."

Nate frowned, stepping closer. "I was joking!"

Y/N shook his head, his voice calm but biting. "Oh, I got the joke. It's just not funny coming from someone who doesn't know the first thing about respect."

Nate opened his mouth to argue but stopped himself. Y/N had already turned away, pulling a fresh shirt from his drawer and pointedly ignoring him.

A knock on the door broke the tension. Y/N walked past Nate to open it, revealing one of their neighbors leaning casually against the frame.

"Hey, you two coming to the frat party tonight?" the guy asked.

Y/N glanced over his shoulder at Nate, his tone dismissive. "I'll be there," he said. "Can't say about him."

Nate bristled. "I'm coming too," he said firmly, stepping forward.

Y/N raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. Instead, he turned back to the neighbor with a small smirk. "Guess we'll see you there."

The door closed, leaving them alone again. Y/N grabbed his things and left without another word, the silence in the room now suffocating. Nate stood there for a long moment, staring at the closed door, wrestling with his frustration—and something far more complicated that he couldn't quite name.

The bass reverberated through the cramped frat house, shaking the walls and drowning out any chance of meaningful conversation. The air was thick with the mingling scents of cheap beer, sweat, and an overzealous amount of cologne. Multicolored lights pulsed in time with the music, casting flickering shadows over the packed rooms. People were crammed into every corner, laughing, drinking, and dancing, their movements chaotic but full of life.

In the middle of it all, Y/N commanded the makeshift dance floor in the living room. He wore a cropped black graphic tee emblazoned with a bold design, the hem cutting off just enough to reveal his toned stomach. His low-waist black jeans hugged his hips perfectly, emphasizing his every movement. The outfit, combined with his easy confidence, made it impossible not to watch him.

Y/N moved like the music was a part of him, his arms swaying above his head, his hips rolling effortlessly in time with the beat. His friends surrounded him, hyping him up with loud cheers and playful shouts as he spun and struck teasing poses. A playful grin danced on his lips as he leaned into the energy, the kind of carefree charisma that lit up the entire room.

Across the space, Nate stood with a group of his football teammates near the beer pong table. A red Solo cup dangled from his hand, barely touched, as his gaze kept drifting toward the dance floor. Specifically, toward Y/N.

"What's got you so distracted, man?" Jake nudged Nate's arm, his voice cutting through the din.

"Nothing," Nate muttered, his tone clipped, though his eyes remained locked on Y/N.

Jake smirked but didn't press.

The situation shifted suddenly when a tall guy with dyed hair and a silver chain stepped confidently into Y/N's circle. The stranger's movements were smooth, his intentions clear as he joined Y/N in the rhythm of the music. He leaned closer, his hand brushing Y/N's hip as their steps aligned.

Nate's grip on his cup tightened, the cheap plastic creaking under the pressure.

Jake, noticing, glanced toward the dance floor. "Looks like your roommate's got himself an admirer," he said with a teasing grin.

Nate didn't respond, but his jaw clenched as he watched the stranger say something to Y/N, earning a laugh. Y/N threw his head back, his carefree laugh cutting through the music as he spun into the guy's arms. Their faces were close now—too close.

An unfamiliar irritation churned in Nate's chest, sharp and insistent. It wasn't jealousy. It couldn't be. He didn't even like Y/N like that. So why did seeing him with someone else feel like a punch to the gut?

"You good, man?" Jake asked again, his tone more curious now.

"I'm fine," Nate said shortly, his voice harsh as he tore his gaze away. He tipped his cup back and took a long swig, trying to focus on anything else.

But his resolve faltered almost immediately. His eyes found their way back to the dance floor, where Y/N now had his hands in the air, his body leaning into the guy's. Their movements were perfectly synced, like they'd been dancing together for years. The crowd around them seemed to blur, leaving only the two of them in Nate's focus.

"What's your problem with him, anyway?" Ryan chimed in, noticing Nate's growing tension. "You've been weird about Y/N since day one."

"I don't have a problem," Nate snapped, the words coming out sharper than intended.

Jake raised an eyebrow. "Right. And the way you're glaring at that guy right now is totally normal."

Nate scowled, his knuckles whitening around his cup. "I'm not glaring."

"Sure," Ryan said with a smirk. "Whatever you say, QB."

Nate ignored them, his attention snapping back to Y/N just as he threw his arms around the stranger's neck, laughing again. The easy intimacy of it—the way Y/N could just be himself, confident and unbothered—grated on Nate's nerves.

It wasn't just the dance. It was the way someone else was getting Y/N's attention, his laughter, his energy. It was the way Nate couldn't seem to draw that out of him anymore, no matter how hard he tried.

Before he could stop himself, Nate muttered under his breath, "What's so great about that guy, anyway?"

Jake burst out laughing. "Oh, this is gold. Jacobs is jealous."

"Shut up," Nate growled, shoving Jake lightly, though his flushed face betrayed him.

Jake kept laughing, but Nate didn't care. His focus was entirely on Y/N, who seemed to sense Nate's eyes on him. Y/N glanced up, his gaze locking with Nate's for the briefest moment.

Y/N's expression was unreadable, but the smirk that tugged at his lips wasn't. It was sly, teasing, and far too knowing, as if Y/N could see right through him.

Nate's stomach twisted.

Y/N turned back to his dance partner, but not before throwing Nate a look that seemed to say, I see you watching.

Scowling, Nate tipped his cup back again, downing the rest of his drink in one go. He tried for the rest of the night to focus on his teammates, on the beer pong game, on anything other than Y/N. But no matter what he did, his thoughts kept circling back to him.

And that damn smirk.

Soon the party had shifted into its final stages, the once-deafening music now muted, replaced by the hum of lingering conversations and occasional bursts of laughter. The crowd had thinned, but pockets of energy still buzzed throughout the house. In the corner near the door, Y/N leaned heavily against the wall, his cheeks flushed, his eyes slightly glassy from one too many drinks. Despite his clear intoxication, he retained that magnetic, carefree air, laughing easily at something the guy next to him said.

The guy—a tall, confident-looking student with a cocky smirk—leaned in close, his lips brushing against Y/N's ear as he whispered something that made Y/N giggle. Y/N swayed slightly, his balance unsteady, and the guy placed an arm around his waist, guiding him with ease. Y/N leaned into the touch, his body language loose and trusting as the guy began steering him toward the front door.

From a few feet away, Nate watched the scene unfold, his grip tightening on the edge of his Solo cup. For the past ten minutes, he had been quietly observing, his irritation building with every second. Jake and Ryan stood nearby, but their banter barely registered as Nate's attention remained fixed on Y/N.

When he saw the guy's arm slide more firmly around Y/N's waist, something inside Nate snapped.

"Where are you going?" Nate's voice cut through the air as he stepped forward, his tone sharp and commanding.

Both Y/N and the guy turned to face him, the sudden interruption catching them off guard. Y/N blinked, momentarily confused, before a lazy smirk spread across his face. "Hey, QB. Didn't know you cared," he drawled, his words slurred just enough to betray how drunk he was. He leaned more heavily against the guy, his body swaying slightly.

Nate ignored Y/N's teasing and turned his full attention to the other guy, his piercing gaze hard and unwavering. "You can leave," Nate said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. "He's not going anywhere with you."

The guy frowned, holding up his hands defensively. "What's your problem, man? We're just leaving. It's not a big deal."

"It is if he's drunk," Nate snapped back, stepping closer. His voice was low and edged with a quiet intensity that made the guy falter. "Find someone else to bother."

Y/N chuckled, clearly amused by the exchange. "Relax, Nate," he said, his voice thick with amusement and alcohol. "I can handle myself. Not my first rodeo."

"You're wasted," Nate retorted, his eyes narrowing as he reached out and gently but firmly pulled Y/N away from the guy's hold. His hand rested on Y/N's arm, steadying him as Y/N stumbled slightly. "You don't even know this dude."

Y/N looked up at Nate, his expression shifting to one of annoyance and mild curiosity. "Wow," he said, his tone biting. "Since when are you my babysitter?"

"I'm not," Nate shot back through gritted teeth. "But I'm also not letting you do something stupid."

The guy, clearly irritated now, stepped forward. "Look, man, it's none of your business—"

"It is now," Nate interrupted, his voice dangerously low. His glare alone was enough to make the guy hesitate. "Go."

The guy looked between Nate and Y/N, his frustration evident, before scoffing and throwing up his hands. "Whatever, dude. Your problem now." He turned on his heel and disappeared back into the thinning crowd.

Y/N pulled his arm free from Nate's grip, his movements unsteady but deliberate as he glared at him. "Seriously, what is your deal?" he demanded. "I was having fun."

"You call that fun?" Nate shot back, crossing his arms. "Getting blackout drunk and going home with some random guy?"

Y/N smirked, but it was weaker now, less sure. "Jealous, QB?" he teased, though his voice lacked its usual bite.

Nate's jaw tightened, his gaze darting away for a moment as he struggled to find the right words. "No," he said finally, though even to himself, it sounded unconvincing. "I just don't want to deal with you getting into trouble and me having to explain it to the RA."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, leaning closer as his smirk returned, sharper this time. "Right. Totally about the RA," he said, his voice dripping with mock sincerity, "and not because you can't stand seeing me with someone else."

Nate's eyes snapped back to Y/N's, his expression unreadable. For a long moment, neither of them said anything, the silence stretching between them thick with tension.

"You're drunk," Nate said finally, his voice softer now, almost reluctant. "Let's just get you back to the dorm."

Y/N sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall. "Fine, QB," he muttered. "But only because these shoes are killing me."

Nate rolled his eyes but stepped closer, steadying Y/N with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Come on."

As they made their way out of the frat house, Y/N mumbled something incoherent about his shoes and the terrible music, his head lolling slightly against Nate's shoulder. Nate kept his grip steady, his chest tightening in a way he couldn't quite explain.

It wasn't about the RA. He knew that much.

And maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop pretending otherwise.

The dormitory door slammed open with a loud bang, the sound echoing down the quiet hallway as Nate strode inside, his steps purposeful and heavy. Draped over his broad shoulder like an unruly sack of potatoes was Y/N, who groaned loudly, his legs kicking weakly in protest. Despite his best efforts to wriggle free, Nate held him firmly, his strength making any escape attempts laughable.

Y/N had made a valiant, if poorly coordinated, attempt to run away halfway back to the dorm, weaving unsteadily down the sidewalk in a way that had Nate's patience snapping. Without a word, Nate had hoisted him up with an ease that left no room for negotiation.

"Put me down, Nate!" Y/N shouted, his voice muffled against Nate's back as he bounced slightly with each determined step. "I don't need your help!"

"You're drunk," Nate replied flatly, his tone devoid of amusement as he kicked the dorm room door shut behind them with a sharp thud. "And you almost ran into traffic, so yeah, you kinda do."

Y/N let out an exaggerated groan, his fists weakly thudding against Nate's back in a half-hearted attempt to protest. "I hate you," he grumbled, his words slurring slightly from the alcohol still coursing through his system.

"Sure you do," Nate replied dryly, his voice tinged with sarcasm as he moved across the room. Despite his curt tone, he lowered Y/N onto his bed with far more care than he wanted to admit, making sure the other boy landed softly.

Y/N sat up almost immediately, swaying slightly as he jabbed a wobbly finger in Nate's direction. His expression was a mixture of annoyance and defiance, though his flushed cheeks and glassy eyes robbed it of any real weight. "I don't need your hero complex right now, okay? I can take care of myself."

Nate crossed his arms, his broad frame looming over Y/N as he raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Really? You couldn't even walk in a straight line five minutes ago."

Y/N scowled, his hands fumbling with the hem of his crop top as he attempted to smooth it out and reclaim some semblance of dignity. "Doesn't mean I needed you to carry me like I'm some damsel in distress," he shot back, his voice petulant. "I'm fine."

"Fine?" Nate repeated, his tone heavy with disbelief. He stepped closer, leaning down until they were at eye level. His piercing gaze locked onto Y/N's, refusing to let him look away. "You're a sweaty, drunk mess who tried to ditch me in the middle of the street. That's not fine, Y/N."

Y/N opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. The closeness between them was almost suffocating, the intensity in Nate's expression enough to leave him momentarily speechless.

"Exactly," Nate said after a beat, his voice softer but no less firm. "Now sit still and stop trying to act like you've got this handled."

Y/N opened his mouth, ready to fire back with another slurred but defiant retort, but before he could get a word out, Nate moved. In one swift motion, he reached forward and tugged Y/N's crop top over his head, leaving the smaller boy momentarily stunned.

"Hey!" Y/N squawked, his arms flailing wildly as he tried to grab the shirt back. His movements were clumsy and ineffective, his balance still shaky from the alcohol. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting you out of this," Nate replied matter-of-factly, his tone steady and unbothered. He held the damp, sweat-soaked crop top between two fingers as if it were offensive before tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor. "You're gonna feel like crap in the morning if you stay in it."

For a moment, Y/N could only blink at him, his brain scrambling to process what had just happened. He crossed his arms over his now-bare chest, his cheeks flushing a deep pink—not entirely from the alcohol. "You could've asked, you know," he muttered, his tone more flustered than annoyed.

Nate smirked faintly, crossing the room to rummage through Y/N's drawer. "Yeah, because you totally would've cooperated," he shot back, pulling out an oversized t-shirt that looked soft and well-worn.

Y/N glared at him, the heat in his cheeks only intensifying as Nate approached with the clean shirt. "I could've done it myself," he muttered, but the bite in his tone was weak.

"Sure you could've," Nate replied dryly, kneeling slightly to pull the shirt over Y/N's head with surprising gentleness. His hands brushed against Y/N's skin as he adjusted the hem, the warmth of his touch sending an unexpected shiver down Y/N's spine.

Y/N froze for a split second, his heart racing inexplicably as Nate leaned back to survey his work.

"There," Nate said, straightening up. His tone was softer now, almost satisfied. "Better."

Y/N shifted on the bed, his arms dropping to his sides as he glanced down at the oversized tee now hanging loosely on his frame. He tried to ignore the way his pulse was pounding, instead narrowing his eyes at Nate in an attempt to regain some semblance of control.

"Great," he muttered sarcastically, crossing his arms again. "You've played dress-up. Now leave me alone."

But the way his voice wavered slightly at the end betrayed him, and Nate's smirk deepened just enough for Y/N to notice.

Nate ignored Y/N's protests, dropping to a crouch at the foot of the bed and reaching for his shoes. The laces were tangled, no doubt from Y/N's stumbling attempts to leave the party earlier. Nate tugged at the knots, his fingers moving with a practiced ease, his expression calm despite the grumbled complaints coming from above.

"Seriously?" Y/N said, his tone a mix of annoyance and embarrassment. He tried to sit up straighter, wobbling slightly as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I can handle that."

"Uh-huh," Nate replied without looking up, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he slipped off one shoe, followed quickly by the other.

Y/N scowled, his brows knitting together. "I'm not completely useless, you know," he muttered.

Nate finally glanced up, his piercing eyes locking on Y/N's. "Right. Because you've been handling everything so well tonight," he quipped, his tone dry. Then, as if it were the most casual thing in the world, he added, "Do you wanna try taking your pants off yourself, or are you gonna make me do that too?"

Y/N's face turned a deep scarlet, his mouth falling open in disbelief. "Excuse me?" he sputtered, his voice pitching higher than usual.

"Relax," Nate said, rolling his eyes as he reached for Y/N's legs, pulling him closer to the edge of the bed with little effort. "It's not like that."

Y/N froze, momentarily too stunned to respond as Nate's hands moved to the waistband of his jeans. With a flick of his fingers, Nate unbuttoned them, the sound of the zipper loud in the otherwise quiet room.

Nate worked with practiced efficiency, sliding the jeans down Y/N's legs and tossing them aside in one smooth motion. Left in nothing but his snug boxer briefs, Y/N instinctively crossed his legs, his flushed cheeks now impossibly red.

"Happy now?" Y/N muttered, avoiding Nate's gaze as he tugged at the hem of the oversized shirt Nate had put on him earlier.

Nate didn't respond immediately. He stood, his full height towering over Y/N, and for a moment, his gaze lingered. It wasn't just exasperation anymore—there was something softer in his expression, something unspoken that made Y/N's heart stutter in his chest.

"There," Nate said finally, his voice quieter now, almost gentle. "You're good."

Y/N looked up at him, his lips pressing into a thin line as he tried to ignore the heat rising in his face. "You're really annoying, you know that?" he mumbled, though there was no real malice in his tone.

Nate smirked, taking a small step closer. The corner of his mouth quirked up in that infuriatingly confident way, but his voice carried a hint of warmth. "Yeah," he said, his tone low, "but you'll thank me in the morning."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, meeting Nate's gaze for the first time. "Doubt it," he shot back, his voice softer than he intended.

For a moment, the air between them shifted. The playful tension from earlier dissolved into something heavier, more charged. Nate didn't move, and neither did Y/N, their eyes locked in a silent exchange that seemed to stretch on forever.

The sound of Nate's steady breathing filled the small space between them, his presence overwhelming. Y/N could feel the heat radiating from him, his own pulse racing as he fought to keep his expression neutral.

Nate leaned forward slightly, his smirk softening into something more tentative, more vulnerable. Y/N held his breath, his gaze flickering to Nate's lips before quickly snapping back to his eyes.

But then Nate straightened, stepping back with a barely audible sigh. "Get some sleep," he said, his voice quieter now, almost reluctant.

Y/N didn't respond, his heart still pounding as he watched Nate retreat to his side of the room. The unspoken tension hung in the air long after the moment passed, leaving Y/N staring at the ceiling and wondering why he couldn't shake the way Nate had looked at him.

The dormitory bathroom was dimly lit, its harsh fluorescent lights buzzing faintly in the stillness. The quiet was broken only by the sound of Y/N brushing his teeth, the rhythmic scrape of bristles against enamel filling the otherwise empty space. He leaned lazily against the sink, still groggy from the remnants of sleep and the unsettling memory of a strange, vivid dream he couldn't quite shake.

After rinsing his mouth, he splashed cold water on his face, hoping to clear the lingering haze in his mind. Grabbing a towel, he dabbed at his skin, his thoughts elsewhere. When he turned to leave, he froze mid-step, his breath catching in his throat.

Nate stood in the doorway, his broad figure filling the frame, one shoulder casually propped against the wall. His arms were crossed over his chest, the muscles in his forearms tense, and his expression unreadable. He didn't move, blocking the exit as his piercing eyes bore into Y/N.

"Jesus, Nate," Y/N said, his voice muffled as he tossed the towel aside onto the counter. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? What are you doing here?"

Nate shrugged, his eyes flicking away for a brief moment before locking back onto Y/N. "Bathroom's on the way to my room," he said casually, his voice steady but lacking its usual bite. "Didn't know I needed permission to stand here."

Y/N narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the sink. "Right. Because loitering outside the bathroom at midnight is totally normal behavior."

Nate didn't reply immediately. Instead, he studied Y/N with an intensity that made the air between them feel heavier. The silence lingered too long, his gaze dipping slightly before snapping back up.

Y/N's expression shifted, his brow furrowing as he straightened slightly. The teasing edge in his voice was gone when he spoke again. "Alright, spill. Why did you really stop me from leaving with that guy at the party?"

Nate's posture stiffened, his arms dropping slightly as he stood up straighter. His jaw worked for a moment before he finally spoke. "I already told you," he said, his voice clipped. "You were drunk. You could've done something stupid."

"Uh-huh," Y/N said slowly, tilting his head as if trying to see through Nate's words. His tone was skeptical, almost mocking. "And I'm supposed to believe it had nothing to do with... jealousy?"

Nate let out a bark of laughter, but it sounded forced, too sharp to be genuine. "Jealousy?" he repeated, shaking his head. "Trust me, I wasn't jealous. You're not that special."

Y/N raised an eyebrow at that, his lips curving into a sly smirk. "Oh, really?" he said, his tone dripping with amusement. "Then why were you staring daggers at him all night?"

"I wasn't," Nate snapped, his response too quick, too defensive.

Y/N pushed off the sink, taking a step closer. The distance between them was shrinking, and with it, the tension in the room thickened. "You sure about that, QB?" Y/N asked, his voice low, teasing. "Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't like the idea of me with someone else."

Nate's jaw tightened further, his fists flexing at his sides as if he were trying to keep them still. "Don't flatter yourself," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm straight, okay? You're not my type. At all."

Y/N paused, studying him closely, his smirk fading into something softer, more curious. His eyes searched Nate's face, lingering on the tight line of his mouth and the tension in his brow. "Right," Y/N said finally, his tone quieter but no less pointed. "You're straight. That's why you've been acting weird around me since day one."

Nate stepped forward, his height casting a shadow over Y/N as he closed the remaining space between them. "I'm not acting weird," he said firmly, his voice lowering. "You're the one making this into something it's not."

Y/N didn't back down, his chin tilting slightly as he met Nate's gaze head-on. For a moment, the room felt impossibly small, the charged silence pressing in on both of them.

"Okay," Y/N said finally, his voice calm but tinged with something knowing. "If that's what you need to tell yourself." He moved past Nate, his shoulder brushing against him as he stopped at the doorway. Y/N paused, glancing over his shoulder with a faint, almost teasing smile. "But just so you know, people who are totally straight don't usually get this worked up over their 'not-my-type' roommate."

Nate didn't move, his fists clenching at his sides as he watched Y/N disappear down the hall. His chest felt tight, each breath harder to take as Y/N's words echoed in his head.

I'm straight, he told himself, gripping the edge of the counter as he turned toward the mirror.

But as he stared at his own reflection, the doubt that flickered in his eyes told a different story. For the first time, Nate wasn't sure what he believed anymore.

The countertops were cluttered with stray utensils and empty mugs, evidence of late nights and hurried mornings. The air was thick with the mingling aroma of freshly brewed coffee and whatever leftovers Nate had just pulled from the fridge.

Y/N stood by the counter, the picture of effortless ease. He leaned back casually, his mug cradled in one hand as steam curled lazily upward. His other hand drummed a slow, steady rhythm against the counter's edge, as though he had all the time in the world. His eyes flicked to Nate, who was bent over, half inside the fridge, rummaging noisily.

"Move," Nate said abruptly, his tone more gruff than polite as he turned, balancing a carton of milk and an apple in one hand. His shoulder bumped Y/N's in an impatient nudge.

Y/N, unfazed, merely smirked. He didn't shift an inch. "Say 'please,'" he drawled, his voice teasing, laced with just enough challenge to be infuriating.

Nate huffed audibly, clearly not in the mood for games. He stepped closer without hesitation, closing the already minimal gap between them. His broad chest brushed against Y/N's back as he reached over the counter to grab the half-empty box of cereal perched precariously near the edge.

The contact was brief but electric. Y/N's posture stiffened almost imperceptibly, a small hitch in his breath betraying him before he quickly smoothed over the moment with a practiced veneer of nonchalance. He tilted his head just slightly, glancing over his shoulder with a smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Careful, QB," Y/N said lightly, his tone deliberately playful. "Buy me dinner first."

Nate recoiled as if burned, retreating a step too quickly. "You're annoying," he muttered under his breath, his voice low and clipped. He kept his gaze fixed on the counter, avoiding Y/N's eyes entirely as he busied himself pouring cereal into a bowl with far more focus than the task required.

But the flush creeping up Nate's neck was impossible to miss. A faint pink dusted his cheeks, standing out against his otherwise stoic expression.

Y/N noticed, of course. He always noticed. A slow, self-satisfied grin spread across his face as he turned back to his coffee, taking a deliberate sip. His eyes sparkled with mischief as he pretended not to notice Nate's embarrassment.

The gym was quieter than usual, its usual cacophony of clanging weights and rhythmic grunts reduced to a distant hum. The faint smell of rubber mats and chalk lingered in the air, mingling with the sharper scent of sweat. Y/N lay stretched out on the bench press, his fingers curling around the cold metal bar, the plates on either side gleaming faintly under the fluorescent lights.

Nate's shadow loomed over him, breaking his focus. "Need a spot?" he asked, his tone casual but carrying a slight edge, the way it always did when he was talking to Y/N.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, pausing to wipe the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. His lips quirked into a lazy smirk. "Didn't know you cared."

Nate crossed his arms, rolling his eyes but unable to hide the faintest hint of a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Someone's gotta make sure you don't drop the bar on your face," he shot back, stepping closer. His hands hovered just above the bar, ready but not intrusive.

With a small huff of amusement, Y/N settled back into position and began his reps. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, muscles contracting and releasing as he powered through each press. The bar creaked faintly under the strain, but Y/N's focus didn't waver. Nate, however, wasn't as disciplined.

Despite himself, Nate's gaze kept slipping—drifting over the line of Y/N's arms, the way his biceps flexed with each upward thrust, the tautness of his shoulders under the weight. The faint sheen of sweat on Y/N's skin caught the light, highlighting the sharp lines and curves of his body. It was distracting, far more than Nate would ever admit, even to himself.

"You gonna stare all day, or are you actually spotting me?" Y/N teased, his voice breathless but carrying that familiar sharpness. He didn't even look up, but the smirk in his tone was unmistakable.

Nate jerked slightly, caught off guard. A faint flush crept up his neck, and he quickly averted his eyes, his focus snapping back to the bar. "Focus on the bar," he muttered, his voice tighter than usual.

Y/N chuckled, a low, knowing sound that Nate found both infuriating and—he'd never admit it—amusing. With a controlled motion, Y/N lowered the bar back onto the rack, the clanging sound reverberating through the gym. He sat up, rolling his shoulders and reaching for his water bottle, his grin still firmly in place.

"Whatever you say, coach," Y/N said, the words dripping with playful mockery.

Nate didn't reply right away, his jaw tightening as he busied himself adjusting a nearby weight. He could still feel the heat creeping up his face and silently cursed himself for it. Meanwhile, Y/N leaned back against the bench, casually stretching his arms overhead, his grin widening as he watched Nate's back stiffen ever so slightly. The unspoken tension between them hung in the air, heavy but electric, as Nate fought to maintain his composure.

"You done admiring me, or should I grab the dumbbells next?" Y/N quipped, breaking the silence with another laugh.

"Shut up, Y/N," Nate muttered, but his voice lacked the usual bite, and Y/N only laughed harder.

The library was nearly deserted, the silence broken only by the faint hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional rustle of paper. Rows of bookshelves stretched out in every direction, casting long shadows across the polished wood floors. At one of the large study tables near the back, Y/N and Nate sat side by side, an unintentional arrangement born from choosing the same spot at nearly the same time. Neither had moved, both too stubborn to concede the table to the other.

Y/N was sprawled comfortably in his chair, a picture of effortless confidence. A few loose papers and an open notebook were scattered in front of him, but he wasn't exactly focused on them. Instead, he leaned forward to grab a book from the far corner of the table, the movement causing his cropped hoodie to ride up just enough to expose a strip of skin along his waist.

Nate noticed. He hadn't meant to, but his eyes flicked downward, caught for a moment too long on the sliver of skin and the faint shadow of muscle underneath. His jaw tightened as he quickly looked away, his fingers tapping out a random rhythm against the keyboard of his laptop, but it was too late.

Y/N straightened up slowly, his sharp eyes catching Nate's fleeting glance. A smirk spread across his lips, equal parts amusement and challenge. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, the motion making his shirt ride even higher.

"See something you like?" Y/N asked, his voice low and teasing, the tone carrying just enough edge to make Nate freeze.

Nate's ears turned bright red, a telltale sign he was flustered despite his attempt to maintain a neutral expression. "Your shirt's just... short," he mumbled, awkwardly gesturing toward it with one hand, his eyes resolutely fixed on the table now.

Y/N's smirk only deepened. He tilted his head, leaning slightly toward Nate as if to close the already narrow space between them. "Yeah? Guess that's why you can't stop staring." His tone was light, almost casual, but there was a deliberate weight behind his words that made Nate's discomfort palpable.

Nate cleared his throat, his fingers suddenly flying across his keyboard with an intensity that suggested he was trying to summon every ounce of focus he could muster. "Focus on your work," he muttered, his voice gruff. He didn't look up, but the slight jiggling of his leg under the table gave him away, a nervous tell he couldn't quite control.

Y/N chuckled softly, the sound barely louder than a whisper in the quiet library. "Whatever you say, Nate," he drawled, leaning back even farther in his chair, his arms still crossed. He watched Nate out of the corner of his eye, clearly enjoying the way the quarterback's posture grew more rigid with every passing second.

The door to the bathroom creaked open, and Nate stepped into the room, steam trailing after him like a veil. His hair was damp, darkened by water, and clinging messily to his forehead. A towel sat low on his hips, barely secured, revealing the sharp cut of his hip bones and the lean muscle of his torso. Droplets of water traced erratic paths down his chest and abs, glinting under the soft glow of the desk lamp in the dim dorm room.

Y/N, seated at his desk with his laptop open, barely registered the movement at first. But as Nate leaned casually against the doorframe, the sudden presence was impossible to ignore. Y/N's gaze flicked up instinctively, his eyebrows shooting upward in a mixture of surprise and exasperation.

"What?" Nate asked, his voice dripping with mock innocence, though the smirk curling at his lips betrayed him. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning more comfortably against the doorframe, the motion emphasizing the play of muscle under his skin. "Never seen someone fresh out of the shower before?"

Y/N scoffed, forcing his attention back to his screen even as his ears burned. "Boy, please. You could... put some clothes on," he said, his voice coming out more strained than he intended.

Nate didn't miss the tension. His smirk widened, and he pushed off the doorframe with deliberate slowness, walking across the room to his side. Each step seemed to echo, purposeful, and exaggerated.

"Oh, what's the matter, Y/N?" he drawled, his tone rich with teasing. "Afraid you'll see something you like?" His voice dipped just enough to make the words hang in the air, playful but laced with challenge.

Y/N didn't look up, his fingers hovering over his keyboard as if pretending to type. His shoulders were stiff, his neck tense, and his face was turning a shade of red that Nate couldn't help but notice.

"Shut up," Y/N growled, the words coming out more flustered than threatening. His eyes stayed glued to his laptop screen, though his focus was clearly elsewhere.

Nate chuckled, the sound low and satisfied, as he finally pulled open his dresser drawer. He took his time grabbing clothes, moving as if he had all the time in the world. Every so often, he threw a glance over his shoulder, catching the way Y/N's jaw tightened, the way his hands fidgeted in his lap.

Revenge had never tasted this sweet. For all the teasing Y/N had put him through, Nate was finally getting his moment, and he was enjoying it far too much.

"I'm just saying," Nate added, his voice light and casual, "if it bothers you that much, you could always move to another room."

Y/N didn't respond. His screen was suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world, though the pink flush creeping down his neck gave him away.

Nate grinned to himself as he pulled a shirt over his head, the satisfaction of his victory lingering in the air like the faint mist from his shower.

However, victories can only last so long.

The music pounded through the packed frat house, the bass vibrating through the floor and reverberating in Y/N's chest. The dim, colorful lights shifted and spun, casting the room in flashes of blue and red as bodies swayed to the rhythm. Y/N was in the center of the makeshift dance floor, moving effortlessly to the beat, his hips rolling with a confidence that was impossible to ignore.

His low-waist jeans clung perfectly to his figure, dipping low enough to reveal the faintest hint of skin between the waistband and his cropped graphic tee. The shirt, short enough to tease his toned stomach, shimmered slightly under the lights. Every movement, every turn of his body, seemed to draw eyes his way.

Across from him, a frat guy stepped closer, emboldened by Y/N's easy energy. His hands inched toward Y/N's waist, a sly grin on his face as he leaned in. Y/N let it happen, his lips curling into a mischievous smile as he played along, his movements slowing to match the guy's. The moment lingered, electrified by the heat of the crowd and the pull of the music.

But from the edge of the room, Nate stood frozen, his grip on the Solo cup in his hand tightening with every second. He hadn't touched the drink in over ten minutes, his focus entirely on the scene unfolding in front of him. His jaw was set, his chest rising and falling as he fought the growing frustration gnawing at him.

When the frat guy leaned in even closer, his hand brushing against Y/N's hip, Nate's patience snapped.

He pushed through the throng of dancers, his broad shoulders cutting a path as he moved toward Y/N. Without a word, he reached out and grabbed Y/N's wrist, his grip firm but not rough.

"Hey—what the hell?" Y/N yelped, stumbling slightly as Nate yanked him away from the dance floor.

Ignoring the frat guy's startled protests and Y/N's struggles, Nate dragged him through the crowd and up the stairs. The music faded to a dull thrum as they reached the second floor, the noise from the party below muffled behind closed doors. Nate shoved open the door to an empty room, pulling Y/N inside before slamming it shut behind them.

The sudden silence was jarring, broken only by Y/N's heavy breathing as he wrenched his arm free.

"Seriously, Nate? Again?" Y/N snapped, spinning to face him. His chest was still heaving from dancing, his hair slightly damp from the heat of the room. "What is your problem?"

Nate stood there, his fists clenched at his sides, his eyes dark and unreadable as they bore into Y/N. "What the hell were you doing with that guy?" he demanded, his voice low and strained.

Y/N scoffed, throwing his hands up. "Dancing? Flirting? Having fun? You know, normal things people do at parties?"

"That guy wasn't—" Nate started, his voice rising, but Y/N cut him off.

"Oh, don't even start," Y/N said, stepping closer and jabbing a finger at Nate's chest. His voice was sharp, each word like a dagger. "Straight people don't get to interfere in their gay roommate's love life just because they're feeling territorial. You've got no right to—"

"Shut up!" Nate barked, his voice rough and cracking at the edges.

Y/N froze for a beat, his eyes narrowing. "No. You shut up, Nate," he snapped back, his tone fierce. "I don't know what's got you so wound up, but I'm not gonna let you treat me like I'm some kind of—"

"I don't know what I'm doing, alright?" Nate interrupted, his voice suddenly softer, almost desperate. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing the room in agitated strides. "I don't—this isn't normal for me. I've never felt like this before."

"Felt like what?" Y/N asked, his voice losing some of its bite as he crossed his arms.

"Like this!" Nate snapped, stopping abruptly to face Y/N. His eyes were raw with emotion, his composure slipping with every word. "About a guy. About you."

The confession hung in the air like a thunderclap, the weight of it pressing down on both of them. Y/N stared at Nate, his expression softening but his guard still firmly in place.

"You're kidding," Y/N said finally, his voice quieter but still edged with disbelief. "You, Mr. I'm-Straight-As-An-Arrow, have feelings for me?"

Nate exhaled sharply, his shoulders sagging as he looked away. "I don't know what this is," he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. "I didn't let myself think about it."

"Think about what?" Y/N pressed, his tone gentler now, the anger replaced by curiosity.

Nate's gaze snapped back to Y/N's, and for the first time, his vulnerability was laid bare. "You," he said simply. "How you make me feel. How much it pisses me off to see you with someone else. How I can't stop thinking about you, no matter how much I try."

Y/N blinked, stunned into silence as the words sunk in. For the first time, he didn't have a quick comeback.

Before he could respond, Nate crossed the room in a single step, his hands cupping Y/N's face as he leaned in.

The kiss was hesitant at first, almost unsure, but the moment their lips met, everything else fell away. Y/N's hands instinctively found the front of Nate's hoodie, gripping the fabric as he kissed back. The hesitation dissolved into something more certain, the kiss deepening as weeks of tension and unspoken feelings spilled out between them.

It was messy and unpracticed, their movements slightly clumsy but real. When they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting together as they struggled to process what had just happened.

"Wow," Y/N murmured after a beat, his voice soft but tinged with amusement. "Didn't think you had it in you, QB."

Nate let out a shaky laugh, his lips curving into a faint smile. "Yeah. Me neither."

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[dadsbongos]

Oh my gosh the I GUESS part was so funny cfdjkfd It will always make me so sad that we'll likely never see the later seasons, it would have been SO funny omg How are you btw?? Anything fun you've done/have coming up? Also any random headcanon thoughts about possibly dating both laios and kabru would be as lovely as you <3 -Artemis

i giggle thinking about his snooty fucking "i GUESS" that and calling mika gay for being attracted to him, a man

i was in a bit of a rut the past week or so but i've been getting better, drawing a lot and working on personal writing projects. plan on going out with a fwend on Wednesday :3 and i'm trying to con a hot person into liking me

labru poly hcs below!!

ok to get together with these two is a nightmare though it is worth it!

i can see it being you and kabru chasing laios, being romantic rivals with laios not paying attention to either of you LOL

kabru gets charmed by you after viciously studying you for months on end to try getting a leg up on you and you're just like every other hot-blooded mammal and can agree that kabru's hot

i can see you confessing to laios (because god forbid kabru actually voice his feelings to someone) so kabru is just silently devastated until eventually being absorbed into the relationship

domestic chores were a bit of a battle at first because kabru doesn't maintain his own space and laios can't maintain common spaces bc he doesn't know what everyone else is okay with him tossing out and dishes are a NO for him

but kabru is great at delegating/managing tasks plus he can care for others. so he managed to think out a way for everyone to be happy: kabru does most of the basic chores (dishes, sweeping, dusting), laios does most of the yard work and shopping, and you the laundry/cooking ft. laios as a lil helper while picking up minor tidying (but obvi you guys can share and help as with all relationships yk)

non-negotiable tho you and laios and kabru are all legally obligated to indulging each other's niche interests. you and laios are ears OPEN to kabru's novelizations of world history and current gossip, and you n kabru listen to laios ramble about useless mythos and cryptids factoids

and ofc they listen to you prattle on about your own interests cuz that's love bby <3

when walking outside, laios likes to intentionally try finding cool bugs or dogs and kabru has to wrangle him by the collar of his shirt while you're just there like :) aw bfs

kabru looooves planning dates and doesn't usually like feeling out of the loop or surprised unless its something you three agreed wouldn't be orchestrated by him

blowout arguments are not common in any manner, since kabru's an ace at recognizing/dismantling how you feel and is flexible in asking how to better put your mind at ease

meanwhile laios just HATES fighting and arguments and is not the type to enforce his way of thinking/doing certain things unless it'll actually drive him insane (which is pretty uncommon)

kabru is probably in charge of finances cuz its just less stress for him

laios likes decorating the space but you and kabru have to nyx some of his stranger ideas (a fully functional bigfoot puppet hanging from the ceiling, fresno night crawler figures on the tv stand, etc.)

nautical themed bathroom is a for sure though i'm sorry i'm sorry, laios is white and kabru was raised by milsiril they're just going to have a nautical themed bathroom no matter how you feel about it

i have an idea i want to make a fic but can't find the time: basically the same thing where you n kabru hate each other but get along for laios' sake cuz you're both dating him. until you fuck nasty and bond for realsies <3

[thearoaceshark]

"But aro/ace people still can date" THAT IS NOT A VALID EXCUSE, MUCH LESS IF THE CHARACTER SHOWS REPULSION TOWARDS THAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS.

"But the creator said we could ship him with whoever we wanted, it won't be canon anyway" OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T BOTHER THAT YOU SHIP HIM BECAUSE 1: IT BENEFITS HER BECAUSE IT ATTRACTS SHIPS FANS. AND 2: SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE COMMUNITY.

"We have not deleted the representation, it is still there, it is canon in the show. We just want to have fun, the things the fandom does do not have to be faithful to the canon and do not affect the canon" SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN. IN THE FANDOM THERE ARE PEOPLE FROM THE AROACE SPECTRUM AND IT ANNOYS US THAT WE CAN'T ENJOY A CHARACTER THAT REPRESENTS US JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN ENJOY THE CHARACTERS WITHOUT SHIPING THEM. ALSO IF YOU CAN'T WRITE CHARACTERS OR RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE NOT ROMANTIC/SEXUAL OR THAT ARE NOT FAITHFUL TO THE CANON THEN LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE A VERY CLOSED MIND AND YOU'RE LACK OF IMAGINATION. THERE ARE ALSO MANY CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT AROACE THAT YOU CAN SHIP, WHY DO YOU CHOOSE THE ONE WHO IS AROACE?!! US AROACE PEOPLA ALSO WANT TO HAVE FUN, WE ARE ALSO IN THE FANDOM, AND WE ENTERED THE FANDOM EXPECTING TO SEE THAT THEY RESPECT THE ORIENTATION OF THE CHARACTER AND REFLECT OUR OWN EXPERIENCES IN HIM, BUT WE FIND OUT THAT THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT, AND WE FEEL BAD WHEN SEEING THAT YK. IT'S THE SAME SHIT AS MAKING A GAY CHARACTER STRIGHT.

"I'm dating someone who is ace/I'm on the aroace spectrum/I'm ace/my partner is on the aroace spectrum and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with shipping him" ...REALLY? JUST. REALLY?! LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME YOU'RE NOT A TROLL, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. FOR THE ARO/ACE PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING THESE COMMENTS LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU LOOK LIKE THOSE HOMOPHOBIC GAY WHO INSULT THEIR OWN COMMUNITY FOR THE APPROVAL OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE.

"If they want representation so much, why don't they make their own content and their own shows with Aroace characters?" ...YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS EITHER. YOU ARE A TROLL, RIGHT? AND IF YOU'RE SERIOUS... DO YOU THINK IT'S THAT EASY TO MAKE CONTENT (BOOK/COMIC/TV SHOW/MOVIE/ETC)???

Edit:

OH AND I FORGOT THE WORST ONE, SORRY.

"Aro/ace people can also want and be in a romantic/sexual relationship, you are erasing people from your own community just because you don't want us to ship it" ...FIRST OF ALL DO YOU THINK AROACE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THOSE RELATIONSHIPS FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU USING THEM AS A CHEAP EXCUSE? YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE, YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMN SHIP, STOP USING THEM AS AN EXCUSE. AND SECOND, I THINK YOU HAVE A VERY ALTERED PERCEPTION OF REALITY, BECAUSE THE ONE WHO IS ERASING AND DISRESPECTING THE AROACE COMMUNITY IS NOT US, IT IS YOU DAMN IT.

End of the edit.

PEOPLE ON THE SPECTRUM GET VERY EXCITED WHEN WE SEE A CHARACTER THAT REPRESENTS US, AND I THINK WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET ANGRY IF WHEN WE ENTER THE FANDOM WE FIND THAT PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE ORIENTATION OF THE CHARACTER AND SHIP HIM, AND TO GET WORSE THEY GIVE US SO BAD EXCUSES OF WHY WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS PERFECTLY FINE. LOOK, DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THOSE SHIPS THEN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG? NO? HAVE YOU NOT THOUGHT ABOUT IT? THEN YOU NEED TO CHECK YOUR HEAD TO SEE IF YOU REALLY HAVE A BRAIN!!! IT'S SEEMS YOU HAVE IT OFF BECAUSE IT IS NOT WORKING.

AND YES I'M TALKING ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL AND ALASTOR BUT THIS ALSO HAPPENS WITH MANY OTHER AROACE CHARACTERS (UNFORTUNATELY). AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT REPRESENTATION HAS TO BE JUST THE CANON OF THE SHOW? DON'T YOU THINK THAT AS A FANDOM YOU SHOULD MAKE THE PEOPLE OF THE COMMUNITY WHO ARE IN THE FANDOM FEEL COMFORTABLE BY RESPECTING THEIR ORIENTATION AND MAKING FANFIC AND FANARTS ETC THAT REPRESENT THE CHARACTER AND HIS IDENTITY?

(AND THOSE OTHER CHARACTERS I MENTIONED ARE NOT CANONICALLY AROACE, BUT THEY ARE EVIDENTLY CHARACTERIZED AS SUCH, BUT THE FANDOM MAKES THE EXCUSE THAT "THEIR ORIENTATION IS STILL NOT CANON" TO SHIP THEM EVEN THOUGH IT IS EVIDENT THAT THEY ARE AROACE AND THEY REPUDIATE SEX AND LOVE. AND NOW THAT WE HAVE A CHARACTER CHARACTERIZED AS AROACE WHO IS CANONICALLY AROACE AND SHOWS REPUDION TOWARDS SEX, THEY CONTINUE LOOKING FOR EXCUSES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?! IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO RESPECT THE AROACE COMMUNITY??? )

[marthaluvsya]

Well just because Alastor is Ace, doesn't mean he'd dislike sex, or not want a relationship

And Viv did say let people have fun as long it doesn't hurt anyone...i had friend who's oc was Alastor's kid before some jackass told them 'thats not allowed he's ace and wouldn't have a kid and you're stupid' the friend didn't even KNOW Viv confirmed Al as ace as the oc was made right after the pilot dropped and i don't remember when Viv confirmed it or where. I'm so glad i haven't seen much ship bashing on here unlike...other places. God the ship war between Chaggie or is it Rainbowmoth now either way and Charlastor shippers is so pathetic :/

season lol.

I didn't say Alastor doesn't want relationships bc he's ace. I am ace and taken. I said I think he doesn't want relationships bc he feels amazingly by himself :/ He was never seen showing genuine interest in even helping anyone without his own profit. He thinks no one is good enough for him. This is something Viv said back in 2019 on her streams. But since pilot isn't canon anymore, i dont usually bring it as an argument. Tho i don't see much changing on that part. Anyway, that's just my opinion, i didn't say radioapple shippers are bad or anything. People are free to ship whatever.

All I said was that our society is acephobic. That's just a fact. While there are aces who do sex sometimes, for kids or fun or other reasons, there's a lot of porn with Al. More than with any other (exept Angel) Hazbin character. I just feel sad and annoyed because gay character's asexuality is respected, and officially hetero character's sexuality is respected. But not the characters who officially find sex unappealing. It's like theres no fucking point in ace representation, no one's give a damn anyway, bc character is attractive, so that means he must be fucked.

I don't support any harassing over pixels and i have art acc i dont like in block. So Im sorry your friend had to go through insults because of his hc and art. I do enjoy making fankids for oc/canon or canon/canon too. And I find it adorable.

Sorry if my words made you upset. But as an ace I often feel disrespected by others in sex matter. So theres no words to change my opinion.

[beanghostprincess]

Sorry I really didn’t mean I’m attacking you or your ship. I also don’t think it’s a red flag, most gay men I saw don’t really like shuggy either. I mean, probably the entire world prefers any other shanks ships? On almost every site, con or store there’s always tons of mishanks and Bennshanks and never shuggy. I get it’s also about dynamic and connection those two pairs have, like with the parallels to other ships the base for them is extremely strong. But the minimal shuggy does speak volumes. I genuinely wonder about this. Shuggy is unpopular and again while I do agree there’s strong connection between “rival ships” I don’t think that’s the only reason… and like…. Buggy is ugly, isn’t he? He doesn’t have cool style, doesn’t look cool, makes ugly faces all the time, also is a coward. I like him as comedy character and shanks brother though!

I understand where you're coming from when you say Shuggy is unpopular amongst some people (actually, before anyone says anything. It IS an extremely popular ship in Japan but I have seen A LOT of hatred towards it in this side of the fandom, so that's what I'm talking about when I say it's unpopular). I have talked about this before. And I have said a lot of times that the reason why is often because people only focus on looks and Buggy is not conventionally attractive for the fangirly twinkified sexualized gaze numerous sides of the fandom and the general audience seek. Like, I am not forcing people to ship them, but I have had people admitting the only reason they don't is because of the looks, and I personally believe that is a very (despite valid, of course) dull way of seeing ships. And respectfully, I don't care that other gay dudes or all the people in the world agree with you. It's not a red flag to not like Shuggy, what it is a red flag, though, is to come into people's inboxes to do what you're doing!

I know you don't mean to attack me or anybody who ships them but your tone does wonders showing otherwise. Your perception of shipping is just based on looks and the fact that you came here, to a blog that explicitly ships these characters and is fond of Buggy, talking shit about one of the characters' looks... Is just straight-up mean and not following the social etiquette this site should follow, which is "let people do whatever the fuck they want".

So with all due respect, what makes you think I won't find your questions offensive in any way? Because you keep talking bad about a character I like in my inbox for literally no reason. Do you expect me to admit that the ship is unpopular because Buggy is ugly and boring? Well, I do admit people view him as ugly and only a comedy relief, but I don't. Expecting others to find beautiful and interesting the same things you do is having a very close-minded vision that One Piece's plot itself is against.

By the way, you're showing that you clearly don't like Buggy in the slightest because you're only talking about the traits that you find negative about him. But of course, you like him as comedy relief. Of course, you like him as a character in Shanks' story and not as a character himself. Despite Buggy having lots of depth. Your perception of these characters seems, in my opinion, extremely empty and, as I said, only based on looks. And you're free of shipping whatever you want however you want! But please, please, don't do this anymore. This is just petty high school mean girl behavior. Even Regina George would word this in a more polite way.

So, as a little advice for you, let people ship whatever they want without questioning their favorite characters! I am sure you will live a more peaceful life!

[guilty-gear-hot-take-hellhole]

Ya know, I was procrastinating on reviving this old blog instead of lurking through Tumblr for a while, and I can’t believe that Bridget discourse pushed me to do it. VERY long rant ahead because boy do I have some opinions.

The other day I saw a tweet (I don't remember where) saying how glad they were that a queer character was getting a bunch of spotlight in regards to the new Bridget figure; then after that I IMMEDIATELY saw someone punching down on people asking for other characters and bringing up Anji specifically, and it's like holy shit, either you're genuinely ignorant or an idiot.

There are 3 other canon queer in Guilty Gear, yet people only want to focus on Bridget, and I could honestly go on about it.

Testament obviously suffers the least from this, but it’s still noteworthy how people will ignore them being queer since 1998, and before anyone says, "They used he/him and were only GNC." 1. That was a botched localization, & 2. There’s a queerness in gender nonconformity, which makes it devastating that Baiken has been made less nonconforming for the sake of sexualization.

In a similar vein, Anji's queerness is often ignored by a good chunk of the fandom, which is in itself a can of worms considering he's a GNC man who is treated normally (unlike Bridget who was essentially a gag character while she still identified as male) and bisexual, which seems to really stir up shit when said bisexual character shows attraction to the opposite sex, which is probably why people don't acknowledge him.

Lastly, there's Venom, and I'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm a lightskin before I'm queer, so I find it very interesting that they wrote out an explicitly gay POC out of the story. Don't get me wrong, I love this series, but once I noticed that fact, it didn't sit with me well, especially since Venom being gay is an integral part of his character that can't be hidden.

And that's what pisses me off the most, the fact that people aren't realizing that the reason Bridget is the only being pushed because her queerness isn't blatantly obvious at first glance and she fits the mold of a popular, fair-skinned, and cute that figure distributors love. I want ya'll to realize that Bridget being trans is overshadowed by her being a white girl, which is a real shame because it means other queer characters won't get attention because they don't fit this standard. The worst part is that people just ignore this, which makes it painfully obvious that they don't care for queer characters; they care for Bridget.

I this isn't everyone, but I ask that Bridget fans slow down on mindlessly buying merch of her because all it does is show distributors that you guys are cashcows ready to be used at any moment and PLEASE don't punch down on people asking for other characters. Seriously, some of ya'll are way too comfortable mocking other people because you got what you wanted. As for the other characters, show them some support and buy their merch if you have the means to (god knows I don't). Even just picking up the character can show that people care about them and want to see them more. I know it's little more than delusion on my part, but it’s at least something.

Tl;dr: Don't be pretentious about a queer character getting merch if you only care about Bridget and support other characters. Sorry about this being so long.

Yeah I think I may know the tweet you’re referring to…

Another tweet I saw on the topic also featured a family guy meme about thanksgiving

Anyways ON GOD !

[babygirl-diaz]

Confessions

The Eddie and Original Character fic no one asked for. Inspired by the title of episode 8x06.

***

"Hello, can I help you?"

Eddie took a deep breath when heard a voice behind him. Pushing his hands into his pockets, he turned around and did a double take. "Um... Are you a priest?"

"No, I just like to hang around in churches and ask people if I can help them," the man replied, and then a small smirk crossed his lips. "Sorry, I just- I don't get to use humor often."

"It's okay," Eddie replied. He crossed the aisle, with his hands still buried in his pockets, and sat down in one of the pews.

The priest took a seat beside him and mirrored his action.

"I didn't mean any offense," Eddie finally spoke up after a few minutes. "You just- you're wearing a leather jacket."

"That's because I just returned from my ride," the priest replied. "I am Alex, by the way."

"Eddie," Eddie introduced himself and looked straight ahead at the crucifix on the altar.

"You haven't been to church in a long time, have you?" Alex asked.

"I haven't," Eddie replied after a pause.

"So what brings you here today?"

Eddie sighed and looked over at Alex again. There was a reason he was having a hard time looking at the priest. The man was giving Eddie all sorts of complex. For the first time in his life (okay, maybe not the first), he found himself thinking that a man was attractive. And a Catholic priest at that!

"I made some mistakes... big ones... and I lost my son because of it," Eddie admitted.

"Did you lose his custody?" Alex asked sympathetically. His blue eyes were kind and understanding.

"Something like that," Eddie replied. "He saw me kissing his dead mother's doppelganger and essentially cheating on my existing girlfriend and he left for Texas with his grandparents."

"That-" Alex looked like he was struggling to find the right words. "-that's terrible. But I feel like I am missing part of the story."

"Oh, you're definitely missing a little more than part of the story," Eddie replied.

"Right?" Alex asked, "I thought so." He gave him another smile that made Eddie's heart flutter.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Alex asked him.

"W-what?" Eddie gulped.

That made Alex laugh a loud, hearty laugh and he shook his head. "...And go to the confession box?" He finished his sentence. "Sorry, I just realized I could have phrased that differently."

"You probably could have," Eddie agreed and pressed his lips together to keep himself from laughing.

"That's as far as my seduction goes. To the confession box," Alex replied.

"I mean, a lot more than confession can happen in the confession box..." Eddie suggested.

***

"You didn't say that!" Tommy gasped and put a hand over his mouth.

"Wait... Am I the only one surprised that Eddie just flirted with a man?" Buck asked looking between Eddie and Tommy all confused.

Eddie ducked his head and blushed. "I wasn't flirting..."

"I hate to break it to you, my friend, but you were," Tommy said, putting a hand on Eddie's shoulder.

"Well, I've found myself admiring a good-looking guy here or there, but that doesn't mean that I am gay," Eddie said defensively.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, no one is putting labels on you, Eddie," Tommy replied.

Eddie sighed at that and his shoulders dropped, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get defensive. I just- God, this is all so confusing."

"Okay, this is simultaneously the most hilarious and the most depressing thing ever," Buck pointed out and started laughing. "Only Eddie would develop a crush on a priest instead of someone attainable."

"Baby, you're not making the situation any better," Tommy told Buck and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Laugh at my misery," Eddie groaned and plopped down on a nearby couch with his head in his hands.

The couch dipped on either side of Eddie and he looked up to see Buck and Tommy sitting beside him.

"You're gonna be fine, Eddie. Just take it easy," Buck told him.

"Yeah, Evan is right, just take it slow. Take baby steps and assess your feelings. Maybe this is just some kinda hero worship," Tommy suggested and shrugged. "He is a priest and you're a repressed Catholic."

Eddie thought about it. "No, this is definitely a crush. I haven't been this attracted to anyone since Shannon," he groaned and buried his head in his hands again.

Eddie heard sniffling and looked up again to see Buck crying. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just so happy. Now we can take you to the gay club," Buck replied.

"We could have taken him before too, baby," Tommy reminded Buck.

"Yeah, but now he can actually get laid," Buck said smacking Eddie on the shoulder.

"I'm never telling you anything ever again," Eddie huffed. "And I wanna get laid with the hot priest!"

"Wait... You never told us... What did the hot priest say?" Buck asked after a pause.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Light spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine below:

Here's the thing. Deadpool was really queer in this movie, in my opinion. Like, queer enough that it just felt like his regular, real personality, to me, rather than shoved in for laughs. But it does still play it for laughs, sometimes, and that does feel... like, you know, it's a shame. Because Marvel has a real chance, here, to just have an LGBTQ+ lead character and just let that be, but it feels like they're a little scared to actually lean in. I don't even get the impression that it's Ryan. I think Ryan would let Deadpool be fully queer, if either studio would have let him.

I think because I fall under the bi/pan umbrella and the way Deadpool is about his sexual orientation is kinda how I am, too (except I don't, like, openly hit on everything with legs because it can border on harassment), I didn't immediately clock how some in the community are finding this movie to be homophobic/biphobic. But I get it. A lot of the gay stuff is played for laughs and sometimes seems to be about the gay panic he's causing in the other men.

But also... in my opinion, Wade feels earnest in his flirtation. Like, when he thinks the TVA guys are strippers and talks about kissing them, and says "I'm not a natural bottom"... like, how is that just quipping? I think he's talking about his actual sex life, and is being for real. Like, he wants to have sex with them... he's not used to bottoming.

I think some stuff is a little disappointing. Like, the joke about being molested as a child by the scout master. I don't like jokes about rape/molestation, and I don't like the implications that his pansexuality is because he is an unhealed sexual assault survivor. There's a dangerous narrative that queer people are predators, right now, and that we want to "turn kids gay/trans", and stuff like that feeds into that narrative.

But also, people are angry that Wade is in love with Vanessa and only flirts with guys. But... he's pansexual. Not gay. And he's been in a relationship with Vanessa the whole time, until this movie. Bi and pan people can be in hetero-presenting relationships and still be actually bi/pan. Finding Wolverine attractive doesn't mean his feelings for Vanessa just disappear.

I'd also say that Wade literally reads a lot more queer in this movie. Like, even the way he talks and moves and stuff. There's nothing about him that reads "hetero guy who flirts with men because it's funny". He's so queer. His friend group is so queer. Like, he is a queer man, to me. And, for what it's worth, he makes stupid quips about everything in his life, everything around him, everything he loves, everything he hates... why would that be the case, but he not make any stupid queer quips? Who under the bi/pan umbrella doesn't? (I'm not speaking for all of us, sorry. Sorry, guys! If you feel differently, you're also correct and valid. This is just one queer girl's opinion.)

Anyway, I felt like he was the queerest in this movie out of the 3. I just hope that if/ when he appears again, Marvel allows him to actually do something queer on camera. A kiss or something.

[plus-i-miss-you]

Hello! Hope you're having a nice day! Could i request headcanons for Kazui (t1 or t2, your call) with a male!prisoner!reader? I was thinking someone younger than Kazui, a guy who is openly gay since he was raised in more open minded times. How would Kazui deal with his attraction? Would seeing someone so comfortable with their own sexuality make him open up a bit or would he feel even more ashamed? (Feel free to make this as angsty or fluffy as you like)

▷ listening to:

"when will i be able to see the world in the way you do?" (male!reader)

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ılıılıılıılıılıılı

♪ note: SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ANON AAAAAAA... i hope you like these!

♪ summary: when a liar like kazui meets an honest man like you, of course he is going to have a lot of things to think about even though he'd rather not think about them at all. he doesn't know how to feel about you. it's like a strange mix of respect, attraction and jealousy and he's not sure if he can handle it.

♪ warnings: themes of internalized homophobia, the ending is ambiguous on purpose, it's mentioned that kazui is interested in the reader, but how the reader character feels about him is up to interpretation.

♪ kazui enjoys your company, that's for sure. your way of thinking is new to him and there's so much he doesn't understand about you yet, but it doesn't mean he finds it annoying. it's actually kind of fun in a way. there's just something about the way your eyes shine, about the way you talk about the things you like, you have this energy that makes people want to talk to you more, kazui wouldn't be surprised if it turned out you were quite a popular guy before you arrived here.

♪ but it's also kind of.. sad. you have such a positive outlook on life, you accept everyone and everything so easily, you're so full of love and you're so understanding, it's.. a bit strange, maybe? kazui also doesn't get how you can be so open about everything. what he finds oversharing, you see as a completely normal thing to say. when he laughs awkwardly and tries to think of a way to change the topic, you laugh with everyone else. and your laugh sounds sincere. you're not faking. you're not pretending. you're free.

♪ this is what kazui doesn't understand about you at all. you never lie. he tried to listen closer to your words, your tone, look into your eyes, watch your expression change, but no, no signs that you were lying. so that means you're either a really good liar, or you just.. don't lie at all. and living a life without any lies sounds like a dream to kazui. or, it sounds like another lie, a lie that no one would ever believe. so when it's time for another "love talk" with mahiru and the topic of what everyone finds attractive in opposite sex comes up, you casually saying "oh, i'm more into men actually" makes this old man almost have a heart attack. (meanwhile yuno just goes "cool" in the background)

♪ like.. how did you.. do that? kazui simply laughs and goes "wow, that is so bold of you" and you just shrug and say that it's not a big deal. kazui nods with a smile and goes "haha, i see", but on the inside? he's going "THAT IS A BIG DEAL Y/N."  so everyone continues the conversation while kazui is having a crisis and rethinking his life choices. oh no, it's his turn. quick, come up with something. say something like "oh, i like a woman that can make me smile", that should work. see, mahiru looks excited, it worked- "that is a lie, isn't it". oh come on, yuno kashiki, do you really have to ruin everything like this.

♪ "no, but it does sound kind of.. you know" y/n, don't tell him that you think he lied too. well, uh, that was a lie, but. but still. you tell him that his answer simply sounds a bit too.. generic, maybe? like there's nothing special about it. like mahiru clearly looked passionate about this topic and it was hard to make her stop talking. you could tell that it's just mahiru being mahiru, but some other prisoners' answers still said something about their personality and their preferences. they sounded unique. they sounded like something they would say. what kazui said just sounded like a lie made up on spot. and well. you are right.

♪ you tell him that he doesn't have to answer, you don't want to make him uncomfortable, of course. but when everyone walks away and there's only you two left, kazui still can't help but ask you just.. how can you be so honest? how can you be so brave? where did you get all this courage to be yourself and not apologize for it? he says that he's just curious. you feel like there has to be more to it, but you don't say anything. you say that you were simply raised this way. the world is changing. people still can be cruel and unaccepting, that's for sure and you know it well. but you would rather live as yourself than live as a liar.

♪ your conversation ends with a minute of silence. maybe two, maybe three. maybe more. in the end, kazui smiles and thanks you for your answer and leaves. you walk back to your cell, not thinking much of it. meanwhile kazui knows that he won't be able to sleep tonight. there's a man in this prison who is like him, but also not like him at all. kazui was taught to hide this part of him, but you've learned to be proud of that same part. he doesn't get it. maybe.. the world really is changing? the fact that other prisoners didn't say anything about it was weird to him too. were they just pretending to be nice about it? were they just being polite? were they just too shocked to say anything? 

♪ kazui doesn't know how to feel about it. he feels like he has to do something. this whole thing feels like the universe is giving him some sort of sign, except he's too tired to care and he has no idea if that sign is telling him to stop or to keep going. he hates that you talking about your sexuality so casually actually made him a feel a bit happier because. well. saying that he isn't interested in you at all would be another lie. but also saying that he isn't jealous of you at all would be a lie as well. it's hard. it's definitely a hard choice.

♪ kazui really spends the entire night thinking about it. his head is still just as empty and just as full of thoughts as it was. when the morning comes, nobody notices that something is wrong as everyone keeps talking about something or just doing their own thing. but you notice. you turn to him, look at him and laugh. that laugh doesn't sound like you're about to make fun of him. it sounds soft. "hey, you look like your sleep schedule is worse than mine". and kazui has no choice but to laugh back. 

[simonrilee]

COD Sexuality HCs for Gay Month

(Modern Warfare Reboot only for this one, Black Ops and Ghosts coming soon)

(if you disagree with any of these you're homophobic)

(not a single one of them is capable of being straight)

• Simon Ghost Riley: First of all this man is aro-ace spec, demisexual/demiromantic perhaps (what? no. im not projecting). Man kisser. He likes boys.

• John Soap MacTavish: That's a bisexual if I've ever seen one. Slight preference towards men, but for the most part, if he thinks you're attractive he'll hit on you. Man or woman, doesn't matter. I don't think I need to say much here. He's just a bisexual man, case closed.

• Kyle Gaz Garrick: Also bisexual, but I'm gonna say he's a bit of a ladies man. I just get that vibe from him. He is dancing with all the girls in the club, and they are eating it up.

• John Price: There's one of two options here. Gay, and Straight. I'm sorry, I can not see an in between. I don't know why. I think it's just one or the other here. He's either the gayest man you've ever seen (bear btw), with a husband at home, or he's very respectfully a straight man with a wife at home.

• Alex Keller: Golden retriever bisexual. Case closed. No preference. Might actually be pansexual but doesn't care enough to look into it. He likes whoever, and when he likes them, he's the fucking sweetest man ever about it. He's incredibly romantic. I have strong feelings about this one. Pry this headcanon straight out of my cold dead hands I dare you.

• Farah Karim: I also get demisexual/demiromantic vibes from her. I don't think she's even worried about finding a partner, tbh. She is very devoted to the ULF, and outside of that doesn't make it a priority to find a partner. As for gender preference, I don't think she has one. Very much so 'I'll end up with whoever I end up with and I'm gonna love them' vibes.

• Alejandro Vargas: Raging bisexual. So many bisexuals but you know I'm right. Look at him, and then look at Rudy, and tell me they're not married. As for why he's bisexual and not gay? Idk? Vibes. You tell me.

• Rodolfo Rudy Parra: Gay your honor!! Gay!! Gay, and married to Alejandro. That's it. He crushed on Alejandro for most of his young adulthood. He's still crushing on Alejandro.

• Valeria Garza: Lesbian! She doesn't care for men. Very 'fuck the patriarchy' as well imo. Very proud about who she is, though I don't think she advertises it.

• Phillip Graves: Homosexual. Gay man. Boy kisser. Extremely closeted though, even well into adulthood. Being brought up in the south, I think he was definitely raised Christian. He was also raised in a very conservative small town. Like, the closest Walmart is an hour away typa small town. So he's got a lot of shit to work through internally. I think he even has an ex-wife that he was never truly in love with. You couldn't pry this one out of my cold, dead, gay, country boy hands if you tried. I will never stop pushing the gay graves agenda.

- Anyway that's all for now, if you disagree that's fine, I don't care these are just my thoughts. I don't know shit about shit! So take these with a grain of salt. As always. -

[my-castles-crumbling]

um so i came out to my mom two years ago and my dad last year no particular reason for the difference just happened like that and anyways they're supportive and all we talk about the girls i like over dinner or otherwise they still think i should focus on my education and think about my sexuality after i get into a good college or whatever but that isn't really from a place of homophobia. here's the thing though they're always like "keep an open mind bc you might not be gay" bc they think that the primary reason i like girls is because i go to an all girls school and have probably interacted with maybe fifteen boys outside my family in the fourteen years of my life and i mean they say they'll support me no matter what and i know that but at the same time i wish they didn't tell me to keep an open mind and shit bc my other friends who had interacted with less guys irl but a few online knew they liked guys even though they were in a girls school but my parents think most of the people from my school who say they like girls say it because we go to an all girls school but that's not the thing i've never really felt much attraction to guys maybe once when i was nine but never since then and if i think about a future with a guy all that comes to mind is one of those pictures you find on google of a stereotypical straight white couple doing shit together and i'm not even white so 😭 and i can't really ever picture myself kissing a guy fictional celebrity or real like i always use someone else as a placeholder but i can imagine vivid makeout scenes with girls so yeah i know with certainty that i like girls and not guys and my parents being kinda dismissive of it kinda hurts.

Hi!

That's so frustrating :( I feel like non-queer people say that type of shit a lot and don't understand why it's so upsetting. I definitely understand why you feel the way you do, and I'm so sorry <3

Have you tried to flip it back on them? Either saying, "Would you tell me to keep an open mind about being gay if I was straight?" or even (though this is a bit more sassy, probs not as good of an idea) "Oh, you guys should keep open minds too! Maybe you're actually gay!"

Naming you fearless anon

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Hi Theitsa! half Greek in America here, looking for translation help and you're the only blogger I know 😭

long story short: my family on my mom's side all practice Greek folk magic, with my great-grandma and(possibly my great aunt)apparently being "completely" a witch.

i grew up with it but i'm still learning the language and my family disowned me for being gay so I can't ask for help with research.

the most commonly used term for "witch" is "magissa"/ μάγισσα right?? is μαγεία more common for magic in general? when I'm using Google translate γητεία seems to be the most common term for folk sorcery.

and i see the practices of Circe referred to as μαγγάνεια??

thank you for your help if you know anything, I know it's a niche topic.

bless you!!!

Hii! Dear anon I'm very sorry for what your family did to you :/ That's nor fair at all! May you thrive and be always blessed in your life!

This topic is not niche, actually! The average Greek in the country has some basic contact and knowledge of such stuff either by doing some or by hearing of them. I haven't talked a lot about Magganeia/Vaskaneia in Greece so let's do a Masterpost!

(Greeks with deeper knowledge please add to this post and let me know if something is inaccurate! All I have is "average Greek" knowledge but well, someone has to make the start.)

People throughout Greece (as in the whole Balkans and the Middle East tbh) practice a lot of customs to bring good energy and good things to them or expel bad energies and bad things. The most prevalent being the ritual of xematiasma (the prayer for which needs to be passed down by the opposite sex on a full moon), or customs with bridal koufeta for young girls to attract a good groom, reading the coffee and the palm, explaining dreams (and having recorded oneirokrites), giving new year talismans for good luck (mati beads, pomegranate charms, horseshoes) and hanging them around the home, or baking a pie to St. Fanourios if you want to find something you lost etc etc.

Traditionally such practices in Greece are intertwined with local customs and herb knowledge and it's not a big "issue" like it would be for USAmerican (cultural or practicing) Evangelicals. In Greece it's acceptable to do many things that in the US would be considered "witchcraft" but here they're just "tradition".

For Greeks the basic stuff I mentioned in the first paragraph is widely accepted to the point many of them have fused with church practices through the centuries. Coffee shops where one can have their coffee and palm read - although not many - have lots of customers. Tarot readers also have a good clientele. I've heard Greeks dismiss such stuff as "nonsense" but rarely dismiss them as "evil". Actually, the comments about such practices being evil here are very tame and usually connected to the church - but not in the US way.

Our Church might have cried about such practices in the past but... who listens to the church on these things! :P (only a few do) Our insistence on keeping folk practice led to Greece having no witch hunts or any witches burnt for at least a thousand years now!

Map of witchhunts in early modern Europe (source)

There is a line here, too, of course. Like, if one uses a heart from a mouse wrapped in an oak leaf bathed in frog bile to expel the bad spirits (a spell I just made up) that's officially "witchcraft" and we find it weird at best. More mild stuff like burning wishes written on paper or letting garlic absorb bad energies and then burn it are middle ground and not outright condemned - I feel the Greeks have a great tolerance of what is considered "folk tradition" to them.

The fear of being "pagan" in recent centuries is a Western panic. Traditionally Greeks and their Church were most worried about harmful spells (which included harming an animal or human in the process) and calling demons to do your bidding. If you called a saint for help in a non-harming spell... hmm that wouldn't be that worrying I guess. As long as you didn't ask a priest's opinion, you'd be fine :P

The sum of acceptable and unacceptable practices by the Greek public can be called "μαγγανεία" or "βασκανεία". Because they include unacceptable practices as well, the words have a negative connotation.

"Μαγεία" for Greeks is connected more to the Western archetype of a wizard with a tall hat going around with a big rod shouting "abracadabra". It's connected more to fantasy and fairytales. Traditionally I don't think we used μάγος/μάγισσα for people who did such practices. Even today I've yet to hear Greeks who call themselves witches say "κάνω μαγικά".

I'd say μαγγανεία or βασκανεία are the appropriate terms for what your great-grandma practiced. The spells are traditionally called γητείες (sing. γητεία). The word γόης which now means "very charming man" meant "sorcerer" in ancient years. We just use it metaphorically today. These words all have the same linguistic root.

Nowadays I haven't heard men call themselves "μάγος" but some women call themselves "μάγισσα", and they do "ξόρκια" (comes from εξορκισμός, exorcism - the English version of the Greek word). I think "μάγισσες" practice more Western types of magic because they learned the spells from Western European or US books and videos. I don't know if a practicer of Greek folk spells would be called the same.

I must note that all the above is the reason why when USAmericans practice Greek customs to worship the Greek gods and call themselves "pagans" feels a bit unsettling to me. I suppose if you add crystal balls and tarot and crystals to the practice that would shift it more to the "witchy" side (although as a Greek I'm quite flexible :P) But more than once I've seen USians call themselves "pagans" for simple acts of worship which are very much non-pagan. Having a home altar with the gods along with some blessed items and candles burning... is Basic Christian Orthodox stuff too, a tradition unbroken from ancient years (εικονοστάσια με καντήλια, κεριά, λουλούδια, κομποσκοίνια).

At the same time, I understand that in their society this can be called "being pagan" so I'm not saying that my view is the only one that matters in this. But some knowledge of the Greek culture always helps if you're practicing its customs. It will also help the Westerners stop calling Orthodoxes "savage pagans" for our religious practices after a thousand years :))))

Thanks for making it this far! Get a small bonus: a great article on ancient Greek "bindings/wishes" which is in Greek and it will be probably still fine if translated through Google.

Some things might differ between areas and eras so that's why I welcome other Greeks to comment here with their own experiences and stories of "witches" (or whatever they called them) if their areas had any.

[tumblweeds-omegaverse]

assorted thoughts on omegaverses and identity

tl;dr - if queerness is what's outside of the norm, then who and what gets to be queer in omegaverse? that depends! on what? the universe itself. but also the wishes of the person writing it.

also, omegaverse as a trope has vague norms, things that are associated with it in general. (not rules but markers?) if the thing you're thinking of would surprise you if treated as "standard" in a random a/b/o fic or book, you can probably queer code it!

very long version below! seriously, this is long for what it is, and I probably could have written more if the original didn't get eaten by my phone last night. (thoughts may be jumbled or repeat, sorry)

◇

One of the most fun things about omegaverse, for me, has become how it throws things in a box and shakes em around.

What's it mean to be straight or gay in our world? Which group is someone referring to when they say, "I'm attracted to women" or "I'm primarily into men romantically?"

Yeah, I know what it means in general, but what does that specific person intend with those words? I do think there can be a difference.

Omegaverse can help with questioning my real assumptions by nudging me to ask, "What does this mean in this context?" For characters, for societies, and for worlds.

What happens when the signals of who "belongs" in each group change? What shifts when there are more variables?

What even is straight or gay in omegaverse? Depends.

◇

First up: what does it mean to be attracted to a dynamic within a certain verse? Before that can be get answered, there's another question: how do people know what dynamic someone else is?

Is it based on visuals? The body type or shape? What they wear? How they move? Coloration? Height or weight? Are these seen as generalities or treated like requirements? Could a character tell someone else was an alpha while they're blindfolded?

Is it based on olfactory info? Are there scents that signal it? Does it work within arm reach, inside a comfortable conversation range, from across a room, from the other side of a busy street? Is it the same as someone's scent? Are there pheromones involved? Could a character figure it out even through a bad head cold?

Is it based on sound? Are there noises that only one dynamic makes? Is there something about a voice that serves as a tell? Has the society set things up where certain phrasings or pronouns are associated with a dynamic? Would a person wearing headphones know despite the blockage?

Is it all of those things? None of them? A combo?

And then, which ones are associated with sexes instead of dynamics? Are the two similar or separated some way?

Why's it even matter?

◇

(disclaimer: this next bit is about people labeling themselves straight, gay, queer, etc. its identity markers, not behavior, that i'm talking about. i have thoughts about society labeling people in response to perceptions, too!)

Because, when people in our world say "I'm attracted to women," it's not like they mean every woman. But there's still a loose bundle of associated traits they're referring to. A capacity to maybe like some people out of a deeply diverse group. Things that, if they're missing or on another scale, the spark of attraction is less likely, maybe nearly impossible.

Before they can be attracted to a woman, they have a concept of which attractive people ping to them as women in the first place. Not in a demanding "you can't be a woman without this and this!" way, but in a "the traits I find attractive are things usually associated with people who are women" way. What are those traits, to that person?

(am I over analyzing this? yup! 🎊 i'm weird so it's fun!)

More importantly: if a person identifies as a specific thing, it's because it means something to them. There's some purpose it serves - either it adds to how they interact with others, or it helps clarify something about the self. In our world it's (hopefully!) impolite at best to tell somebody that they aren't who they say they are. Our labels hold meaning to us, and help us find commonality with others, and communicate which things we have words for.

(personal example: I haven't always used aroace as a term for myself. But my lived experience is definitely a closer fit to the aroace umbrella than the normative one. There could be someone very similar to me who puts a different word to their experiences, and that's fine. We would be focusing on different parts of our stories.)

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When it comes to labels as identity, within omegaverse, I think there's a number of directions it could go:

Attraction to sexes - male, female, etc

Attraction to dynamics - alpha, beta, omega, etc

Are there attractions present in the first place?

In general, I figure that the "main" labels say something about the attractions towards other dynamics. Just because of how important dynamics are treated in most things containing a/b/o tropes. Additional info comes in the form of labels within that umbrella.

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Looking at works tagged as omegaverse or a/b/o, there's some patterns, right?

Many relationships are alpha/omega, and the sexes of the people involved don't seem to change that.

In other words, it's less common to see a story where a male alpha is looked down on for pairing with a male omega. It's more common for there to be issues from other people if a male alpha is partnered with another alpha.

So, dynamic-based queerness is more impactful to the characters and/or the story. Queerness based on assigned sex may exist but might not be touched on. Things can vary based on verse, but it's what I've seen most.

That means that an alpha attracted to other alphas might identify as gay in order to signal that difference from the norm. Being into omegas as an alpha is normative, closer to what we see as straight, so anything that's not that? It's queer coded - if you want it to be.

Whether a male alpha who is interested in male omegas would identify as straight or not, is harder to put a finger on for me. It's part of why I think identity labels would say something about what the character finds meaningful.

This alpha could say they're straight if most of their attraction is toward traits connected to omegas. Or they could use gay if most attractions are towards masculine traits. Or it could be something else entirely!

(and this is all assuming that everybody is cis! adding trans characters, gender non conformity, identities outside of or beyond the binary? going into intersections between genders and dynamic and race and assigned sexes? shake that box even more! take nothing for granted! wheeee /excited)

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About umbrella labels and microlabels:

As a real world comparison, somebody can decide to say, "I'm asexual." That could be their one and only label - no talk on gender or sexes, no romantic attraction markers, just ace. There can also be somebody who says "I'm asexual" in one situation, but in another, they get specific. Demisexual homoromantic still isn't normative, and it's still ace, so they belong under that umbrella. So does someone who says "I'm aegosexual" and doesn't use the asexual label often. Each one is communicating something different, perhaps to various people at different times.

There's no reason why this couldn't be present in omegaverse, especially if there are six "common" options known to everyone.

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Where it gets really fun to roll this ball around in my head -

What if m/m and f/f are queer too but not in the same way?

Where do betas fall in all this?

Are there particular intersections that get specific types of stories told about them? How does that change the character's relation to their labels, both chosen ones and ones given to them?

For example: Do male alphas with male omega partners have a different experience than female alphas with female omega partners? What about m/m omega pairs versus m/m alpha pairs versus m/m beta pairs?

Is it possible in the verse to see two people and identify them wrong? If a character sees a masculine looking alpha with a masculine looking beta, are they going to act differently on finding out that one of the two is female? Which option gets the most backlash, if any, and what does that say about the view of masculine females of that dynamic and who they partner with?

Does a female omega who is attracted to betas and alphas identify as straight? Does that change based on the preferred sexes? Would this person identify based on interest or on what they're not attracted to?

Is it less normative for a beta to be attracted to other betas, or to alphas, or to omegas? Would a beta who only is interested in betas be gay or straight? Would they use straight and gay similarly to our world, or in some other way?

If a female beta is self-labeled as a lesbian, for her personally, who does that include? Female alphas? Male omegas? Only other female betas? Are female omegas included? What is she communicating through her label? What does that say about how people in her world view "same" and "different" attractions?

Do people label their sexual or romantic or other attractions the way we would at all? Or is it so different within their society that the terms don't map, and the info shared is about something else?

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So, that was a lot, with no answer besides "depends! lol". But because there's no ultimate rules of what makes a setting an omegaverse setting, that means you can design it however you like, and then create or borrow terms to fit!

I'm pretty sure I've seen posts of crafted terms for things like "attraction to alphas" or "omega attracted to omegas" so those could help. I think it's also possible to use some of the same logic behind queer microlabels and create your own!

For example, isoeidyllic could label "a person who is romantically attracted to the same dynamic." I literally just stole the "iso-" prefix from Greek and added it to the word for romance. An alternative could be equiromantic? With equiro as a shorthand. (not sure if that's a word in another language but probably good to check!)

Or you could keep it simple and do a4a, b4o, and similar for people without multi attractions. I don't see anything wrong with using pan, omni, poly, and other existing prefixes for people with multiple attractions either.

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I haven't made terms yet, but I'd like to. The issue for me is that they'd all be unique to their settings. I keep making each one juuuust different enough where the definitions wouldn't fit neatly...if "what or who is an alpha?" changes, then the labels used to describe attraction to an alpha would also be different, or at least, organized around different ideals, right?

Quick examples:

setting 1: alphas can be any sex or gender, dynamic is signified by scent cues and pheromones, attraction labels are used to signal what one isn't attracted to due to the number of combos. (12 in total)

setting 2: alphas are masculine coded but can be any gender, dynamic cues are scent oriented with build secondary, so attraction labels are used to signal what scent families one is attracted to.

setting 3: alphas are considered male no matter their gender expression because dynamic has taken the "role" of assigned sex at birth, dynamic cues are linked to visuals and scent about equally, labeling is based on behavior rather than on identity.

Whyyyy do I keep making it impossible to reuse my own work? Though that probably explains why I'm researching the speed of wagon travel and technology levels by century and various biomes and what scent families are and animal symbolism, instead of actually writing...or outlining...or finishing character notes...hahaha.

I mean, I'm having fun, but setting 1 has been going through various changes since October of 2023 and I certainly can't write my scenes where the cast bond at a festival if I haven't figured out how people celebrate yet, or what clothes they wear during which seasons, or what foods they eat on special occasions, right? I should at least know in a vague sense...right?

Right??? 😭

(help i am trapped in worldbuilder limbo /affectionate??)

also: all of this was sparked by somebody else's post that showed up on my dash with no notes and I didn't reblog because I was at work with too many thoughts and now I can't find it 🫠

[lesbianp1lled]

it's so lame that we even have to identify as 'gold star' lesbians at this point in human existence. unless you live in an extremely homophobic country, there just isn't a reason for a gay person to force themself be intimate with the opposite sex, period. that's self-r*pe to any actual gay person and the mere idea has always disgusted me, even when I tried to convince myself I was bi because of comphet lol (I do live in a pretty homophobic country where I've never seen a gay couple hold hands publicly in almost 30 years.. ). I've never accepted even a single date with a man, 0 intimacy (ew), because even despite being able to realize/ accept that I was a lesbian only in my early 20s, I've always instinctively known I'm gay. most people do, and thus physical contact with the opposite sex who we're not attracted to is abhorrent. that's why I think women who've had het sex and still claim to be lesbians are either fakebians or have 0 self-dignity and a desperate need for attention to the point of jumping on a d*ck for societal approval, and I'll never understand that/ f*ck with that. that's the most anti-feminist bs, I know so many straight women who didn't have sex before like 30 because they hadn't met a man they loved and trusted enough. virginity is lauded in women so there's no pressure to be with men either. so there's no justifying being with males while claiming to be a lesbian lol.

I actually needed to went about sth personal as well and since I sadly have no lesbian friends, this is the best option. basically all my relationship attempts have ended tragically because all my crushes have been het or bihet women. I live in a tiny ass country so there simply aren't enough lesbians yet there are thousands of drop-dead-gorgeous het and bihet women and I am simply a woman with eyes, what can I say.. all the actual lesbians tend to be butches, and don't get me wrong, butches have my whole heart, but I'm a femme-for-femme kinda gal, I can't help it. I am conventionally attractive and work hard to stay in shape but I'm no supermodel either and actually insanely beautiful women scare me a bit so I'm just looking for sb on the same level. I don't want to feed into the stereotype about lesbians being unattractive, I don't think that's true. but in my country it tends to be the case, which is especially jarring because the straight women are outstandingly beautiful. ofc looks isn't the main thing I'm looking for but I don't want a romantic relationship with sb I'm not even attracted to. I've tried that and it didn't work, it isn't fair on me nor them.

I've also graduated from every level of education with the highest honors, I'm a uni lecturer since 20, I have my own company, everyone tells me I'm one of the nicest people they know and I still can't find a gf who'd like me as much as I love her?? that's what's truly enraging, to see all these amazing het and bihet women genuinely love and give their all to these misogynistic subpar beer-bellied males who use them as personal maids while I can't find one (1!!) woman to love me as an objectively good-looking feminist they could 100% relate to and be in an equal/ synergetic relationship with.

I'm sorry but heterosexuality truly is a masochistic self-destructive condition in women, I know it's innate but it's true.. inc3ls (including the trans kind) have no idea what real hardship is in dating women. it's seeing the fugliest moids get with the most kind, intelligent, ambitious and hot women only to drain them from life and self-respect and not even appreciate getting with a woman waaay out of their league. while you are on that woman's level but she'll never love you even if she's bi because ultimately you just don't have a nasty dangler in your pants which doesn't even satisfy her anyway. so you just seethe in your justified bitterness and try go on with your life despite feeling like no woman will ever love you, not because you're unlovable or in any way unworthy but simply because you're a woman.

it hurts so much to see all these hot lesbian couples online, it just feels surreal, like where are these women? all I see is obese goofy-looking 'polyamourous' aka promiscuous bihet she/they qWeErs who want to use me as a s3x toy with their disgusting boyfriend.

and this brings me to my ex. she was the one I gave a chance to because she was the first woman to make a move on me, she told me I was perfect, we talked for hours every day for months, went on dates, she fantacized about living in a house together etc, only to randomly ghost me, tell me our relationship meant nothing despite me having admitted to her I was already traumatized by bihet women leading me on. and then ofc she got with some receding neckbeard guy who looks like he could be her uncle not long after lmao. after legit telling me she detests men and would Nevvverr date one again, that I was her perfect woman. so all she gave me was trust issues that all women are secretly bihet c*cksuckers who will eventually leave me no matter how perfect and lovable I am. I know this can't be true but it truly feels like that. she just got married to that male (probably partly for a visa lol) but she certainly tries to convince herself and others desperately she's madly in love with him while watching all of my insta stories in 2.3 seconds for some reason, I've muted her so I found out about her marrying months later.

maybe she knew I was far out of her league and randomly sabotaged our relationship, because it was such a shock out of a blue sky to me. thankfully I wasn't fully in love yet and dodged her (mentally unstable) bullet but we need to address the trauma these bihet women leave us with. because that's entirely valid and not our fault, not everyone has the privilege to date fellow lesbians when finding a real one who isn't a fakebian feels impossible to begin with. I also hate the infantilization of lesbians, she definitely used me for her idiotic little 'sapphic daydreams', f*ck that, we are not some uwu fairies, we are grown women and we are just as entitled to only date people we're physically attracted to as het women. as I said, I wasn't even that attracted to her but the knowledge that she got hetero married while larping as some grand qWeEr feminist who will never date males again hit me like a truck. she's out to the world while I'm only out to my friends and some family because I could be discriminated against at my homophobic workplace. the fkn iront in that.. she even started identifying in plural after meeting him lmaoo, she must've realized that she really is just a measly hetero and no longer has a way 'in' to the lgbt thing she desperately wants to co-opt. she's 100% a poli-qweer lol.

I hate that I'm even allowing myself to be traumatized by her, she's unworthy of that but I can't help it, every romantic experience only worsens my trust issues with women and my current crush is bi as well.. at least she doesn't lie about liking men which is still off-putting but at least she's honest. idk what to do anymore. I'm just livid at this homophobic heteronormative world and the way the hets just keep getting away with it. I nearly threw up at the sight of all het couples today.

and bihets are the worst male-worshippers out there as well, they put up with so much more bs from men than decent self-respecting het women do. and they're desperate to be with a man at all times. some time ago I went out with a bi woman who I didn't know was bi, she presented herself half-virginal, did mention two exes, male and female. but turns out she has slept with every other man in town, brags about it online as if that makes her a 'bad bitch' , no hun, just an unpaid prostitute for patriarchal pleasure.

the only consolation is that het relationships are never equal so they will not have some idyllic marital bliss with their ugly moids as they desperately want to pretend. but still, they have such immeasureable social privilege being het-attracted and -partnered and then they have the audacity to larp as some great qWeEr activist publicly without any shame in their hypocrisy. god I wanna expose her fake ass so badly, tell everyone what a lying bihet charlatan she is. I might never be able to get married in my country because I'm actually gay and she's unapologetically prancing around with a husband when she said she'll never date a man again. as gay people we grapple with so much baseless misplaced shame while the het fakers seem to feel none. meanwhile there are lesbians all over the world forced into loveless het marriages to be r*ped by their husbands. unspeakably disgusting. sometimes I just want to vacate this abhorrent homophobic planet but can't let the homophobes win.

sorry for the long rant but what do you think I should do going forward? I feel like I'm succumbing to complete bitterness and despite not envying the misogynistic relationships of heteros, at least they have the opportunity to be in romantic relationships without fearing being discriminated against, disowned or hate crimed, no matter how flawed their relationships are. meanwhile I'm just getting older, I might still look 18 but I feel like I'll die before a woman of worth will ever reciprocate my love. where to move, where are the actual lesbians?? how to deal with the bilious defeatism and, tbh unfortunately justified victim mentality?

I'm sure a lot of lesbians can relate to my experiences and I would really appreciate them sharing how they got out of this hole/ repeating pattern of dating women who were beneath them and unable to actually love women romantically/ sexually. at this point I'd do anything to even have a woman sexually objectify me at least 😩

oh, and what's notable is that despite never having been in a proper committed relationship and having these failed traumatic attempts, I have never resented women as a whole. women owe me nothing, but the women who have literally thrown themself at me only to lead me on like I begged them not to deserve no remorse. and I haven't lost my mind or general will to live either, I thrive academically and at work, I entertain myself and enjoy my time with family and friends. I don't normally hate on other people in relationships for no reason either, just in a really bad place rn lol. I think it's important to note for all of the lesbophobes out there who call us 'lescels' and compare us to r*pe-loving misogynistic incels who think they should own women as sex toys. I've never resented a woman like that even if she's hurt me beyond words, that shit is just degenerate y-chromosome scrote coded. lesbians will never be able to oppress women, not even if some have unrightful disdain against women because we are the ones oppressed by hetero-attracted women.

also hate we have to identify as gold star lesbians because surely it makes sense that a lesbian wouldn’t ever sleep with a man? But so many call themselves lesbians even if they have slept with a man which is a false identity for them because a lesbian just wouldn’t sleep with a man. But the whole ‘gold star lesbian’ thing started as a way for straights to make fun of us. They’d say “Oh you haven’t slept with a man? Do u want a GOLD STAR?” so when I call myself a gold star lesbian i’m mostly just reclaiming it and saying yeah I am proud of it, and yeah give me a gold star! Lmao

I won’t go into everything you said because i’ll be here all night but I’m also a femme mostly attracted to other femmes and it is true most lesbians are butches which makes our dating pool even smaller. I don’t rule out butches completely, I have found some attractive I’m just mostly attracted to femmes and I’ve never met a butch irl I’ve known other femme lesbians though.

What I think you should do moving forward? Is not to lose hope. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. Get in touch with the local community, if you don’t like going to nightclubs u could always join any events or anything like that, a good way to feel in touch with ur local community can be things like volenteering and the like.

I know it’s hard out here for lesbians but you will find your person. My dms are always open if u wanna vent or just talk!