#i'm sick and have zero motivation to draw

[lazyghostmiserishere]

William Murderface in these poses

Just imagine man...

[iwantoseemybonesss]

wl tips and tricks

1. spend your calories on healthy food obviously and eat enough Protein

2. cold showers are so good

3. Water, Water and Water!!! Drink a lot of water (cold)

4. Drink very warm water in the morning on an empty stomach this helps you with digestion and you can easily go to the toilet

5. Never drink your calories thats such a waste! If you‘re bored of Water, drink black coffee or sugar free tea

6. SLEEP! You burn a lot of calories while sleeping! if you don't sleep enough and and you're awake all night it doesn’t do anything

7. I recommend eating under 1000 calories a day! See what works best for you without binge eating afterwards! (I eat max. 400cals a day)

8. Don't weigh yourself too often as your weight will fluctuate throughout the day and this will make you less motivated. 1-2 times a day is enough. In the morning on an empty stomach and after you finished being on the toilet

9. walking!! Walk a lot!

10. Jogging or Running.

11. Eat slowly for better digestion and you don't bloat before eating drink water!!

12. Less carbohydrates more proteins! and vitamin!!!!!

13. Always weigh your food! Without knowing how much you've eaten, you don't know how many calories you've consumed

14. Don't tell anyone and surprise them with your you‘re new body!! Don‘t look for thinspo be the thinspo

15. buy clothes that make you look slimmer and emphasize your figure

16. Always stand up straight and elegantly as this will make you look purer, slimmer and more beautiful

17. don't disappoint Ana, she just want the best for you so listen to her

18. take before and after pictures to follow and realize your progress

19. zero drinks can cause your fat burning to stop and it is also unhealthy

20. Help a lot around the house (cleaning, tidying up,...) burns extra calories

21. Distract yourself from eating, be active and don't have time for eating! such as learning, drawing, playing, napping, ...

22. If you really want to eat something but don't allow yourself to, you can chew it and spit it out (you still swallow very few calories but not all of them!) its better than puking!!!

23. Cold burns calories but don't go out dressed too thin as you'll get sick more quickly than others

24. save calories! For example, if you want to eat toast, you can cut a slice in half into thin slices so you have a lid and a base made from one slice

25. always looking for excuses such as: I've already eaten, I'm going out to eat with friends, I have a stomach ache and the classic: I'm not hungry

26. buy clothes that are a size or 2 small so you are more motivated

[dweetwise]

It’s so very surreal to me that you’re a still riconti-posting. Your account got me into it YEARS ago (I think when the ship first started to circulate a bit) and it’s so unbelievably cool to see that it’s still happening (and I’ve now got a lot more riconti fics to read after coming back to the fandom years later - I appreciate it). I feel like I’ve gone through a bunch of fandoms since losing interest in dbd, but it’s cool to re-find the love I had for the game and come back. I’ve definitely gotta draw them again, especially now that my arts improved, I need to join riconti october bingo so bad! You definitely wouldn’t remember me but you’d repost my (pretty bad) art sometimes on my old account, it was a big motivation booster to see a pioneer for my favourite ship engaging with my goofy gay old man dbd art, so thanks for that lmao. No pressure to respond to this, I mostly just wanted to say thank you for feeding the felix and ace (and a bunch of other characters/pairings) lovers!

Ahh welcome back anon! 💕💕😍

Trust me, it's surreal to me too that I'm still riconti-posting 😂 I've dabbled in other fandoms and ships over the years but I always end up coming back to these two.

Riconti is just straight up the coolest thing I've ever been a part of in any fandom. To start creating for a ship with ZERO content and somehow building up an entire little community with so much amazing art and 100+ works on ao3 has been an incredible experience. I definitely can't take all the credit but I still wear my "I came up with the ship name and people actually use said ship name" badge with pride 🥰🥰

And I promise you, I'll 100% remember you and your old blog's name. If I ever reblog anything riconti I absorb it into my brain forever 😂🧡 I would love for you to participate in the bingo so I can yell compliments at your art in the tags 🥰

Thank you for the incredibly sweet ask and sorry for rambling, I've been sick for a few weeks 😅 I hope you have an amazing day 😘

[yoinkschief]

Content Warning: Nudity (Nothing explicit or sexually motivated)

Also there's a gigantic fucking rant under here about this bastard I did NOT plan for it to be so long and I have this sinking fear the others will be just as, if not longer

Take this traditional ref sheet because I can't be bothered to make it digital right now

Sheet Translations and explanations cause I have shitty handwriting:

7'2"

Used to be 5'8" but you know how that goes XP

Whoag! He's tall! Seem experimentation can go a long way :)

★Strip/Mafia Tord is the only version of Tord who wears earrings anymore

I used to always draw Tord with earrings, specifically dangling earrings with upside down crosses on them, but more recently I've stopped doing that and instead draw him with only a tongue piercing that him, Tom and Edd all have matching (they tried to convince Matt to also get one but he was worried about it ruining his teeth), so as a way to homage to my previous design and because it fits him too well I gave him diamond studs :)

Hearing aid [picture]

Tord wears a hearing aid! On top of his eye sight being fucked in his right eye and not what it used to be in his left, his hearing also is shot! He needed a hearing aid on his right ear and on top of his processing issues from his ADHD he can't hear as well as he used to in his left ear (not that his loud bass music taste ever really helped)

Has no waist, giving the illusion he has hips (he doesn't)

Shawty's got no hips and no ass, the only meat he has is in his massive bohongas and the only meaty claw he has left, he already had a triangular shape what with his big ass rib cage and zero hips but going to the military made him even more top heavy so now he's even more triangle

Screen [picture]

His robot arm has a screen on it that's basically an apple watch but better because I fucking hate apple,,,, and yes it does say OPPAI on it, it's an inside joke between me and my lovely partner :)

Spectator Shoes [picture]

Because I think he would wear them, and it's a silly nod to his constant need to be in the spotlight and not sitting on the sidelines: that was the whole reason he left to go to the military in the first place, he was sick of being "Edd's friend" and not "Tord" if that makes sense, he needed an out (and just from personal experience of having people I know go to ROTC and/or join the military fresh out of highschool, it's a good wake up call for some, and a horrible fucking power trip for others,,, don't really know how that last one happens when the whole point is to get you to cry to your mom and beg to go home but hey, to each their own I suppose)

[picture] Power Core

Serves to connect to Tord's nerves, forming it into power to move his arm with

The logistics behind this are loose at best and a goofy thought I had at worst, but basically it's something like the workings inside of the bionic arm connect Tord's nervous system to the core which then converts his thought energy/brain's commands into actual movement, which is why he has one at his shoulder (to connect the nerves) and one on his hands (to connect to The rest of his arm, think of it as like the two power cores being connected via invisible string that gets manipulated to pull his hand up, down, to the side, and so on, and the bicep and forearm connected with the elbow allow it to bend more naturally). That's the best way I can explain it

[picture] The coat he wears on his shoulders,,, meant to pay homage to the coat he wears in his 2004 design

Pretty self explanatory, but since he doesn't have his OG coat (because Edd now wears it, more on that when I get to his ref sheet) this is what he's wearing, a big ass mob coat with gold trim as the accents,,,, I spent way too long drawing Zenigata's mandatory oversized detective/inspector trench coat to not somehow find a way to bring it to someone else's design

OMG! He nakey!

Yup. I'm very mature.

Dragon Tattoo [pictures]

Ahh the infamous dragon tattoo HC,,, at least I think it's infamous- I've seen a lot of people with it so, lol. Additionally, he also has a tattoo of Jason Voorhees' mask at the base of his neck/top of his spine, but it's covered by his hair so I didn't think to add it but there's a very cute story behind it: Tord used to have a snake (he bought it as a ball python,,, it was not,,, it was a reticulated python, and he only found out when he didn't stop growing) who he so lovingly named Voorhees because he was white with a grey splotch on his face that Tord swore looked exactly like Jason's mask, so, he got a tattoo to match with his pet snake. Like a queer.

✨Trans✨

I will never miss the opportunity to make Tord trans masc I love him so

[picture] Leads with his chest

Machismo or something, I dunno, but he has the cocky confidence of a bastard type air around him and so in later years he starts leading with his chest after he goes to the military, versus his past, more laid back, lead with his hips. And by laid back I mean both he was more "devil may care" and trying to get laid, because he's got the libido of a dog in a heat thinking he was doing something leading with his hips because all the snoody whores do it in his anime and he hasn't touched grass since he was in college,,, boy howdy was that military a good idea to knock some sense into him (even if that did come with giving him an excuse to be even more power hungry and that much more of an attention whore)

Still has no ass

Yeah. No amout of drills can give him muscle there, and trust that he's tried (mostly out of spite because Tom always made fun of him for having a flatter ass then Matt, a literal twink with scrawny limbs,,, though you shouldn't let that fool you, he's far too strong for how thin he looks. Anyway look at how that turned out: it didn't lmao)

Ouroboros Tramp Stamp

Another fun story to tell :) so, back when Tord lived with Edd and the gang, he got super hyperfixated on Vikings and their symbolism and artworks and whatnot (he recently rewatched all of the How to Train Your Dragon movies and it lead him down a rabbit hole leading him to want to learn more of his ancestry seeing as most Norwegians came from vikings,,, if I remember correctly, do correct me if I'm wrong) and texted them about what Viking tattoos they should get: Tom's was the Viking rune for "Wolf", Matt's was the Yggdrasil, and I can't remember what Edd's was. The reason Tom was Wolf because it just fits him, he's got that "lone wolf" energy to him but he's just a dork who enjoys being around his friends whether he'd say that to their faces or not, and he's fiercely loyal to them to the point where it anyone would be the first to die for their friends in the group it would be him. Matt's is the Yggdrasil because,, well I can't really explain this one, it's just cause it fits really, I dunno how to explain it. Tord is ouroboros because mmmmm the snake that eats itself is just fucking spot ON for Tord, and having it as a tramp stamp is the sweet cherry on top, self destructive habits and a drive to run himself into the ground to satisfy his insatiable need. Tord has no idea if the others got these tattooed on them (they did, and to everyone's surprise Matt also got a tattoo,,, though no one knows that any of the others got their tattoo save for them knowing Tord got his cause duh)

An interesting thing to note if you want is that often times people will get a tattoo of Ouroboros surrounding the Yggdrasil, so you could say Matt and Tord kind of have matching tattoos. And for the storyline, that can be seen as important

Also fun fact: Tord's original tattoo was supposed to be the symbol for lightning as a way to nod at the fact his name "Tord" is a shortened version of "Torden", at least in my headcanon, which means "Thunder" in Norwegian,,, but then I found out that symbol has become a N*zi dog whistle and by god this man does NOT need any more fucking N*zi symbolism in his design can we fucking stop with that. Besides, ouroboros is much better anyway, I think

EDIT: I REMBER NOW - Edd's tattoo was the Web of Wyrd due it being created by the Nords, the Norse mythos' equivalent to the fates, the symbol representing fate and the fact that your past actions have consequences on your future (something something obligatory EDDS-world joke and WTFuture joke) but yeah Edd's got this one like how the others do

- Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!

Will Wood + The Tapeworms

- Dogs // Still Bummed

nouns

- BAD LUCK!

Jhariah

- Selfish Hate

JAWNY

Just some songs I was listening to while drawing that I thought fit him a bit and the vibes I was going for, I highly recommend you listen to these songs if you haven't already,,, P.S. for everyone who loved Panic! At The Disco when the band was still together and before Brendon started writing his own lyrics, ruining his voice and came to light to be a piece of shit, I HIGHLY recommend Jhariah, he's him but so much better I fucking love his dogs, his albums give the same vibes as the Vices & Virtues and A Fever You Can't Sweat Out albums,,, and I couldn't help myself I love Will Wood holy shit

Time for an info dump about Tord in this AU,,, be prepared it's so fucking long this has been stuck in my head for forever pleASE-:

Obviously, The End Part 1 & 2 are canon in this series, but Tord has absolutely zero regrets about it - he can't, otherwise all the work he's done is for naught,,, although it wasn't planned; his original plan WAS to move back in with Edd, settle down and continue his operations in London with his buds without them ever knowing cause he missed them, however, they got to nosey and so he had to abort with what he was hoping to have finished (the giant robot) but was unable to due to, well, Tom

"but how come Tord was trying to kill Tom, then, if this wasn't what was planned?" Because it was fucking funny, Kyle/ref,,,, also because as a side note: Tom canonically cannot die, or at least, hasn't found anything that can yet and he's not at the old age for that yet. He has what I like to call "Deathly Immortality", or "Cartoonish/Looney Toons Immortality" where he "dies", but then comes back like nothing happened and no one mentions it as any different

Tord has something similar, as well, but instead it's more of "Unfortunate/Spiteful Immortality" or "Anime Immortality" in the sense of where Tom dies and pops back up like a toon character, Tord is like an anime antagonist who just won't die, like William Afton he always comes back but in worse and worse state (He also got sick an ungodly amount in his youth until his body was like fuck it and actually gained an immune system for every illness he kept getting lmao,,, pollen still wrecks his ass though)

Afterward The End Part 1 & 2, Tord poured his full attention into his mob, experiments, and his projects, the thing he was basically trying to use his friends as a front for before Tom got too smart, since he was having trouble not being homesick for his previous life before he went to the army and got power hungry,,, guess you can't be homesick for something that doesn't exist anymore LMAO, anyway- in pouring himself into his work, he buys an "entertainment building", as he calls it, to launder his money: Midnite. Because he thinks he's clever or something misspelling Midnight. Midnite is basically like, all sorts of things rolled into a skyscraper, each floor has a different thing: A restaurant, a casino, an arcade, a strip club, wink wink nudge nudge, but basically this is where he holds meetings and such with his money laundering

Strip/Mafia takes place I'd say... Three? Years after The End? Long enough for Tord to get way too much shit done but short enough that bitter feelings are still felt between the gang for Tord and from Tord

Yes TomTord is canon, but let me tell you this is god's slowest candle wick, because Tom fucking GOES THROUGH IT in this story man, cause everyone's going every which direction, suddenly changing and leaving and he hates it in general because mmm parental issues of dead parents who left too early, the fact that he's autistic and fucking hates sudden changes, the fact Tord is alive is enough to piss him off, it's just all around not a good time for him and so the TomTord is very Tord sided. He's always had a fascination with Tom since highschool, but didn't really understand what it was until he had to be told to his face by who was supposed to be his significant other 💀 but Tord enjoys Tom because he truly is the only one who was able to keep him on his toes in his youth as he got older it grew deeper and he gained a bigger appreciation for Tom and his knack for always being able to throw Tord off his guard,,, to be fair though that's mostly because Tord relies on his quick wit, luck, and the gullibility of others; he's not really good at long term planning and thinking versus Tom who is amazing at pattern recognition and planning long term and for this that could go wrong, in other words, thinking and planning ahead

Additionally, Edd sided TordEdd, too, because love triangles or something, except they both are like bordering narcissistic personality disorders so it really would not be good for either of them to get into a relationship with each other, not that Tord really wants to (anymore? He kinda had a thing for Edd in highschool at the beginning but fell out of it pretty quickly, which, fun fact, is an ADHD thing: Edd gave him instant gratification and euphoria so, like people with ADHD tend to do, he fixated on it, but slowly fell out of it once he stopped thinking with his excitement about having a new friend who actually paid attention to him), but Edd is CONVINCED Tord is just doing all of this for attention from him like he's begging Edd to "save him" (he's definitely not) because Edd "doesn't have a savior/hero complex, stop telling people that omlll" so that's always fun

Errr trying to think of more to say without just writing out an entire book or just showing pictures of the OG script I wrote for it JGXXGJJXG

Feel free to ask any questions oml this AU is stuck in my head I seriously can't keep it contained any longer

OH

Drag/Street racing exists and is a big(?) part of this lmao,,, I mean kinda, it kicks off Tom slowly beginning to rekindle his feelings for Tord and shows Tom's relationship with Paul and Patryck from when they met in college along with Tord

Hooo boy college alone would be a lot to explain, so much shit happened in college but it technically isn't super important to the story? Besides the Paul and Patryck meeting Tom and Tord thing, ofc, but like what happened in college follows my general timeline headcanon of Eddsworld and it's a lot to explain when most of it just gives reason as to why Tom and Tord hate each other/bicker a lot when they move in together and gives a more in depth reading of their relationship and behaviors, moreso as to why they fell into stuck a pitiful state (butterfly affect baby, ONE action called them to both fall over the edge)

Also, I have a list of people I've based/referenced for Tord as Red Leader and it goes as follows:

Gustavo Fring - Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul

Professor Venomous - O.K. K.O., Let's Be Heroes!

Lord BoxMan - O.K. K.O., Let's Be Heroes!

Bill Cipher - Gravity Falls

Dr. Robotnik - Sonic Franchise

Yes I'm aware how chaotic that listing is lmao, but to be fair when I think Red Leader I think calculated and cunning like Fring and Venomous, but also stupid loony silly like BoxMan,, and of course a menace to society like Cipher and Robotnik

That's all for Tord I believe,,, I'll do more soon I'm sure

One last Tord appreciation:

Have I expressed how much I love drawing people's torsos, I think they're gorgeous

[zombiecheri]

so a lot happened. idk why I'm telling this to y'all but also why not? I've been sick for a few days and I had absolutely zero motivation to draw anything. but hey! once I get better and I have time I really want to make tomura and maybe izaya arts as well.

also, funny thing happened. I got a crush. I thought I'd never get crushes anymore because I'm on aro spectrum and the last time it happened was like 10 years ago but here I am. she's so perfect, fun and pretty. I met her at a team party and we talked so much, sang and danced together whole night. she spun me around and wrapped her arm around my shoulder and my heartbeat was going crazy. everytime she ran her fingers through her hair and smiled I was melting.

happy pride month to me I guess?

[bookwyrminspiration]

im going to finish this book today if it kills me--another thing I forgot to include in the first part. the level of violence committed by the MC and her associates, I feel, is brushed over entirely too quickly.

4 days ago she saw a dead body for the first time--and i think it was a very visceral and moving scene, seeing bodies dragged behind carts for disobedience on casual display. it really introduces the abuse of power these Pilgrims perpetuate in the name of the throne. but there is but one comment--ONE--about Heloise's reservations about killing another person in the first book (like 2 days ago!!), and now she's breaking spines and crushing heads willy nilly. her village has taken up arms, they meet travelers who practice knife work and can kill--they are resisting with violence. which is the only option left to them, but we are missing the emotional toll and exploration of this company of people forced to kill! the fight scenes are pure action and gory description, but that's it! and there is something to be said for going numb, the haze of trauma and violence, but we don't get that either! we don't get anything!

and to expand on an earlier point--Heloise is making these strategic decisions and weighing in as if she has any experience! and I know part of the point is that she's just a 16 year old girl who's been thrust into this position of faux sainthood. but her narration only marginally brushes how incompetent she is for this role--and the people critiquing her are made out to be unreasonable and causing problems. she talks about how she's a woman grown now, and contributes significantly to battle plans--as if 5 days ago she wasn't an apprentice to a father who's job was writing letters. she's ordering people around, planning village take-overs, consulting people, giving inspirational speeches, but while the trauma of the past week has undoubtedly altered her irrevocably and beyond recognition to her former self, none of that gives her the experience she needs. lucking into one kill does not translate into leadership, I'm sorry!

and ANOTHER thing! what the fuck is up with the Order! there is a seemingly infinite supply of them with different subtypes, which are only mentioned when they literally show up! we don't learn of the black and greys until they jump from the trees, nor the uhlans until they're outside the wall! these are the main antagonist that they have spent every minute of these two books at odds with! and we're just throwing in factions when we need? and for a main antagonist, they are cartoonishly evil with zero depth. two of the hundreds, if not thousands, have a name, and the one and only thing we see them do is show up, fight, abuse, and kill people. where did they come from, how did they get like this, what motivation do they have--don't know! they're simply Wrong About Things and so need to be fought. And I won't deny that they do commit horrible atrocities in the name of "protection" and faith, they are wrong about a lot--but beyond that? Zero exploration!

Maybe I'm being nitpicky, maybe I'm missing things. Maybe in the last 80 pages (of 250) will start to draw it together, and the final book will really send it home. Each one of these things individually is forgivable, I think. But in combination it starts to grate. Which sucks! Because I really want to like this, I find the premise of trying to overthrow a religious tyranny told through the perspective of a 16yo who, by luck, killed a devil and has been turned into this holy, superhuman idol by the people she once called neighbors, who knew her as a babe, to be incredibly compelling! That sounds sick as hell! I just need a little more, please!!

i am STRUGGLING to get through book 2 rn. with how critical the throne/its religion is to the entire plot, we really don't know anything about it besides "there is an emperor and a throne and we credit them with keeping us safe from devils." the internal fights amongst the villagers are getting repetitive ("this is madness" "Blasphemy!!" "wait no don't beat that guy up" "this is madness"). i don't understand the world (WHERE did the black-and-grays come from??? order this, order that--there's a whole faction you haven't mentioned???) or half the character motivations and decisions (though to their credit, they're having like the worst 4 days of their lives rn). and i'm really struggling to suspension of disbelief my way through Heloise's fights and ability to make strategic decisions. she should be dead ten times over by now, and some characters (Barnard) explain this as her being chosen by the emperor, but he's very clearly depicted as a raving fanatic broken by grief (which is also getting repetitive), so without that there is no justification for her continued living. or for these plans she keeps coming up with

WHAT is happening. it's only like 200 pages but I'm struggling

[willow-salix]

SOLSTICE WISDOM!

It's that time again where I, your sweary witch aunt, come outside, light a fire and tell you it's all going to be ok. If this has worked its way to your dash, this message is for you.

I've drawn two cards for you tonight, this one from my mermaid deck.

And it is telling you that no matter how hopeless your situation might feel right now, you always have options. But sometimes that includes asking for (and accepting) help.

I know it's hard, but people wouldn't offer their help if they didn't mean it. People are dicks and they won't do anything for anyone unless they want to, so stop being so fucking stubborn! Think of it the other way around, if your friend had troubles and you offered to help you'd mean it and you wouldn't think any less of them for needing it or accepting it, so you shouldn't either.

It's the longest day, after today the nights will start drawing in and with it the motivation to get off your ass and do something, so do it now. Any changes you need to make, and you freaking KNOW that you need to make some, should be done now. This is the ideal time. This is your sign.

You don't have to make a decision right now, but you can explore your options and see what appeals to you the most. This can be with work, relationships, friendships or even just the food you eat. If you're stuck in a rut or something isn't working for you, change it!

Which brings me to my second card from the rebel deck.

How can you expect to get anywhere if you keep going over the same shit day in and day out? Aren't you pissing yourself off yet?

Sure, it's good to complain now and then, to have a little rant and to bitch about things, it's cathartic and it helps you sort your head out. But here's the thing sweetie, if all you're doing is bitching but making zero effort to change anything, then that's on you.

I know it's hard, it's so freaking hard to take that plunge and to make changes. It's scary. It's new. It's different and it's unknown. I get all that. But it's STILL gotta be done!

Babe, if you are going to your friends to whine and complain and they are going out of their way to try to help, to give you advice that you know is sound, don't ignore them. Don't nod and agree and say you're going to do it and then do nothing of the sort. That's wasting their time and energy as well as yours and you might find that, when you really need someone, they will be sick of you. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I say this with love, it's time to sort yourself out. Get your act together because no one can sort your life out but you.

You are stronger than you could ever imagine, and it's time to prove this to yourself and the rest of the world. Stop being a push over, stop being everyone's slave and stand up for yourself.

Because you are awesome and you deserve it.

Blessed be my darlings.

[petite-madame]

♥️🌸🌼♥️ New projects ? Marvel ? Supernatural ? ❤️🌸🌼♥️

Hi anon!

I love this ask. 😄 It's right between the telegram because of how short it is, and the illuminated manuscript with the little flowers and all.

Anyway, yes, of course, as usual, I have new projects because my brain don't know how to rest. 😩

- From Monday, I'm planning to start working on a calendar inspired by The Order of the Avengers. I asked my followers on Twitter if they were fed up with the Heroic Fantasy theme but they answered "no" so...

It was "IF I have enough courage", I have no idea how my followers can understand me sometimes. 😭

It's going to take time so it won't be ready in January. It will be a "February to February" or "March to March" calendar, I suppose. No pressure.

- I want to work on a portrait of a character that appears in the first post-credit scene of The Eternals. I'm not particularly a fan of the guy (the actor) but I think that the character and more particularly his clothes are actually pretty cool! It's going to be a speed painting I think, nothing fancy.

- Speaking of speed painting, I worked on four of them this week and I'm going to post them tomorrow. I took a break this week because I was sick (again 😳) so I doodled on my iPad in bed. Expect King Steve and Tony and other stuff.

- Stucky! I have some ideas in mind that need to be drawn but for the moment I have one artwork ready, inspired by a 1947 painting, and I'm planning to post it next week.

- Stony! I want to draw Steve and Tony in the 1872 Universe on a HORSE (when you know my love of horses, it lets you know how motivated I am for this but you got to do what you got to do 😅)

- I want to draw a series inspired by The Eternals. I had zero excitement for this movie after seeing the trailers but I really loved it after going to the Paris premiere on Tuesday. Basically, the opposite of the Malcolm in the Middle meme:

It won't be something like The Order of The Avengers with alternate costumes but it will feature the characters with their original suits. Pray for me, the high res pics of Ikaris suit alone are already giving me headaches but hey, who am I trying to fool, I love it when it's complicated. 🤓

- I did a drawing of Tony and Strange fighting together but it's not really good so I think I'll post it on Twitter under "art dump"

- I wanted to draw a portrait of Jared but I lost the reference picture I wanted to used so in the meantime this project is shelved...

That's it for the moment, it should keep me busy for a while 🤓

Thanks a lot and have a great day ^^

[cyberiada]

Payroll (SteamWorld Heist)

Payroll. Payroll Payroll Payroll

I got. a triple bingo. this is Not normal /hj

i'm gonna start this off by saying that i think he's the character with the biggest wasted potential in the series. he's Extremely one-dimensional, not interesting at all and his only defining features are 1) fast, 2) has a wheel instead of legs and, obviously, 3) loves money. he's literally the only character on the crew that doesn't give Any information about his backstory. like. none. zero. my memory is Not the best but i don't remember him mentioning his past at all. and i think with the right background and motive, he could've been a really interesting character. i'm gonna get more into this later

payroll is. extremely hard to like. i don't think i can name anything that actually draws me to him. i literally started liking him ironically and then got attached to him Against My Will (/lh). i can understand so well why so many people don't like him. payroll, the actual character in the game, is just. Bad. nothing that i like about him is canon. the payroll that i like is literally the version of him that lives in my head. and it's not even an idealized version or anything - he's just. a character with actual motives and a past who Definitely did a lot of bad things in his life (some of them he doesn't regret at all). also i think he's extremely charismatic, can convince anyone to do anything and can sweet-talk his way out of Any situation, because it fits him So Well

he is Not a good person. he's such a bad person actually. but so is the rest of the heist crew. they are Literally space pirates. they're not heroes. 90% of the time their motives aren't "heroic" or "noble". they fight chop sue's gang because they're disturbing the peace on their turf, they bring down the red queen because they're sick of how she's been treating them and they defeat vectron because piper wanted to finish what she has started. and sure, with the way that it's portrayed they are Heroes who help steambots and stand up for them and that is partially true!! but i don't think they're just some goody-two-shoes who fight Evildoers and help people, Because It's The Right Thing To Do. the world of steamworld heist is Much More complex than that. they help people, because they can see themselves in them, they sympathize with the steambots crushed under the weight of the system designed to make their lives as hard as possible. i don't think we can divide bots into 'good' and 'bad'. of course, this doesn't excuse scrappers harassing the poor cowbots or the royalists Literally thinking of steambots as lesser and discriminating them in every way possible. but i don't want to act like piper's crew doesn't do bad things either. they do. they're rude, they're violent and they kind of fight fire with fire. but their actions have a good outcome most of the time and i literally can't hate them for anything they do. i'm just tired of pretending they're good people. they're not bad people either!! they're just very morally grey characters imo. i have a lot of thoughts about this but i'm getting super off topic so let's move on

the biggest issue with payroll for me, i think, is his lack of depth. he gets No development and he feels so. shallow. like the people making him went "oh well we need a member who's just there for the money" and refused to give him any interesting traits. he feels rushed and unfinished. with the right backstory he could've been So Much More. make him someone who's seen what this twisted world has to offer. who's decided that it's devoid of meaning. that there's no point in seeking any higher goal in life. who had to lie, cheat, manipulate and backstab his way through life, because of how Hard it is to Exist as a steambot in the core. his desire to be rich can still be his driving force, but make it have some deeper meaning. Make It Count

to sum things up, payroll is Not as deep as he seems, but he has a huge potential to be. he's a horrible greasy little gremlin that ruined my life and he's my favorite and least favorite character in the game at the same time. god i sure hope they make more characters like him /hj

[haptronym]

I can understand the intentions behind the chapter enough to enjoy it... but I can also definitely see why people are extremely upset by it. You (and Ochaco) are trying to draw a distinction between "openness about feelings is cool" and "selfishly hurting others is not cool," but the thing is… for Himiko, these are the same thing. She did not feel comfortable being brazen about her feelings until after she went off the deep end and decided she was entitled to kill people. She took off all the brakes on her opinions; of course she's going to spout off about her romantic feelings too. Going off the deep end is not hard nor is it admirable. It is remarkably easy to take off all the brakes and be a callous asshole with zero filter. It's certainly way easier than being considerate.

Himiko's romantic confessions were not good. They were incredibly upsetting and distressing to those she inflicted them on, because she had no tact and no desire to be considerate. There are already way too many people in the world who try to frame "asshole with zero filter" as "I'm just TOO good at being honest" and pretend it's actually noble. So it's incredibly frustrating to see the person we're supposed to root for do the same and try to frame monstrously callous and self-absorbed behavior as a good thing instead of what it really is.

I'm dunking all over this one aspect, but I do like how this plotline went overall! It was clearly set up very carefully and I was fascinated by Himiko's character. I get why Ochaco is so motivated to try and understand Himiko, and I get why Himiko felt pushed to take the drastic actions she did. I understand why Ochaco might try to reach out in this way... if you're dealing with someone as messed-up as Himiko, you will probably have to take a messed-up route to reach them. I can even see why Ochaco, a young and naive kid, would feel genuine jealousy, not realizing the nature of the thing she's putting on a pedestal. But man, this conclusion was uncomfortable to watch. I wish there could've been another way.

(Also… it seems kind of tasteless to use a real-life tragedy as a gotcha in some manga discussion. There are very few people out there actually claiming nobody could love murderers... more questioning whether they should. Probably because they're sick of watching people enable or glorify the absolute worst behaviors in the name of love. Even here, despite her condemnation of Himiko's actions, Ochaco is still glorifying something awful. It's tiring to watch.)

For anyone really interested in how a mass murderer could possibly be redeemed or welcomed by “normal” society, especially a teenager like Himiko Toga, I am begging you to please read the seinen series Vinland Saga. Or watch the first 2 seasons of the anime, which are out in sub and dub. It’s a more mature story set in the Viking era during the reign of a young King Canute (or Cnut) the Great. It’s not just a gore fest — it’s about a kid who becomes a child solider and as a young adult has to find his way to atonement, friendship, and peace. (And my summary isn’t even beginning to do the series justice with its parallel treatment/foiling of Canute’s rise to power!)

For those who say nobody could love or want to reach a murderer, please read at least one interview with Sue Klebold, the mother of one of the Columbine shooters. It’s a harrowing perspective and a difficult read, and it will challenge your preconceptions about the topic. https://www.npr.org/2016/02/16/466618817/sue-klebold-mother-of-columbine-shooter-carries-him-everywhere-i-go-always

If nothing else, remember MHA is fiction.

[niuniente]

Hi! Hope you're having a great day/evening/night!

I needed to tell you I love your DHD comics since the first time I read it. I love Alrick and the way you voice some sensible themes. It's a mastery!

Also, I wanted to ask you, artist to artist, how do you keep your creativity flowing? How do you manage time for doing daily stuff?

When I'm fed up with everything, I cocoon myself for a while...

My main enemy is my own body. I'm chronically sick, quite badly, so there's no hope for me at this moment to even dream about functioning like a normal person. I got horribly sick from burn out for 2 days when I tried to be like a normal person doing their normal minimum for 5 days.

My day job is a 0 contract job. It's more of a hobby as I have so rarely any working hours. I have to scratch together money from Etsy and Patreon. All this work is very random, though, so I don't have any daily responsibilities but can juggle with them according to my health and energy levels. For example, today I had a day job gig, so I didn't do much comic work. Tomorrow I will have a day job gig and then I will rest.

I work remotely so I don't have to commute. I don't have a partner, kids, animals or even plants. So it's just me and my own needs which cut down a lot of responsibilities. The downside is that I have to handle everything alone. Can't ask someone to do the dishes when I'm too much in pain. I have made my daily life as easy and comfortable as possible.

So, whatever energies I do have left, I can use that for drawing. But I draw whenever I feel like it, and have now dropped any plans for story driven comics. The episodic nature is better for me right now, though I do have one story that's long and I'd like to draw it. But I can't, not now.

For art, I use lots of references, draw only when motivated, and don't even try to draw well. It doesn't mean that it wouldn't ask energy and time - it does - but it doesn't ask THAT much energy and time when you keep the art messy. As long as the message gets through, I'm fine with it. I can't afford to be fancy and work like a hired corporate artist...

TLDR; I have not other life, just drawing, but I'm chronically ill so it's like, plus-minus zero situation lol

[giggly-argent]

Incoherent rambling noises and venting-

Asgfjdnc ok so,,, im not sure how much art I'll be able to put out in the next month or so :'0 i have so many ideas planned, but whenever i sit down at my computer to draw, I just. Don't feel right? If its not dizziness, its lack of motivation, pure exhaustion, or like... Idek how to explain it !! The most I've been able to do in the past two weeks was a little practice sketch and even that took all my energy for some reason. I'll just take it slow for now and write down all of the things i want to draw when im able to, or maybe I can start commissioning others if I get too impatient lmao

I guess this would be the best time for me to get back into writing though! I'd love to get better at making tk fics (especially ones that don't drag out into the thousands like my past ones sksshfj), but I also wanna write just,, cute short fluff :') (aka 20 Zero/Zinny/Aries pieces-) the annoying sick feelings don't come nearly as fast or as often when I'm just typing, so it'll be Physically easier than drawing,,, b u t im not as confident with my writing skills, so it may still take longer than my regular work :'D

Finally, I just wanna say thank yall for bearing with me throughout all of this! I know its a super hard time for everyone right now, so i hope we can all keep our heads up and make it through this as smoothly as possible 💖 love y'all!!! 🥺🥺🥺

[metazensae]

I have 3 days left of my break. I gotta get as much as possible done. 

Pumping myself full of caffeine so that I can try to write and/or draw SOMETHING for this comic.

Not sure if I said anything on here, but I SUPER WANT TO DRAW, YOU GUYS. I’m using that as a punishment/motivator to get this scrip DONE.

Like, ok, if you finish ch. 5, you can draw some boys kissin’, Izzy. BUT YOU GOTTA FINISH IT TODAY OR ELSE IT’S MOOT NYAH NYAH NYAH~

[ice-cweam-sod4]

Update; It has come to my attention that we may be going back since it's our only option, while I'm happy about stability I am terrified and sick of just going lower and lower to ground zero.

Irl I have little motivation to even get through my delayed school work done, I just feel like my life is just stangnant as the years go by and I literally became a legal adult last year.

I know I shouldn't be complaining cause many others have it worse than me but these thoughts have just been tormenting me. No matter how much I draw it won't distract me long enough to know that my life is going no where

That moment when you and your parents get kicked out (thankfully we have a relative that is letting us stay)

[essayofthoughts]

I've seen a lot a hate for the ship but not a thorough explanation of why. I wanted to see the pros and cons of them. The effect it has on Wanda in the comics and in MCU, same for Vision. In which scene in the movies made people dislike it and which part in the comics made people explicitly hate. . . I don't think I'm doing a good job explaining why I want a Meta on it. My reasoning looks all over the place to me.

Yeah, I’m not entirely sure what you mean with some of this but as for why people don’t like and why they do, I can do that. I haven’t read enough comics to have a firm idea of the impact in comics, or what scene in the films makes people hate it (though if I had to bet it would probably be Wanda putting Vision through the floor, or like. Generalised fan hate for Wanda due to goddamn fandom misogyny and fucking Tony stans) or what scene in comics made people hate. A lot of those things are seriously subjective and personal and the hate for WandaVision is not just limited to the personal. Anyway.

Main reasons I’ve seen people say they don’t like ScarletVision:

They feel Marvel is pushing it too hard with all their nods to the comics.

They didn’t like the relationship in the comics in the first place.

They think Wanda’s abusive because she shoved (the practically indestructible) Vision through the floor and…

They find it squicky because Vision is technically a year old in CACW.

Now, I don’t mind the nods to the comics too much [1], and sure you can dislike the relationship in the comics, but it was very significant, producing the first incarnations of Wiccan and Speed (before the death, time-jump rebirth and other shit) which drove the House of M plotline, which has had a huge impact on the Maximoffs in general [2], and so… I can see why they’d want to reference so enduring a relationship. You can dislike it if you want, but I don’t especially think there’s a need to hate on it. Find it personally obnoxious, sure. Want to desperately avoid it, sure. But honestly, fandom’s need to try to justify their hatred of something or to be incredibly judgy is something I find deeply grating these days (hence the vagueblog the other day) so I think people need to tone shit down some.

As to the “Wanda’s abusive thing”… Vision did literally lie by omission to her regarding keeping her under house arrest. Let’s look at two other cases where she was lied to.

Strucker and List! They recruited the twins in This Scepter’d Isle tie in prelude comic, and claimed to be SHIELD by speaking of “our Avengers, our Iron Man”. But they weren’t and, as you see, the twins readily abandon them when the fight comes to the castle.

Ultron! “You were supposed to make a better world!” “It will be better!” “When everyone is dead?” And what happened then? She set Helen free from the sceptre’s control, she and Pietro got the hell out… only to return to fight Ultron alongside the Avengers.

Wanda, simply, does not like being lied to. If she offers trust then to betray it is one of the worst crimes you can commit against her. The same holds true of Pietro in comics, it’s the reason for the end of his relationship with Crystal Amaquelin. To break their trust is a surefire way to earn their ire and Vision is clearly very close to Wanda by the time of CACW… and he lied to her. 

Besides which, he’s indestructible. From their conversation we see that they’re both very much regarded as Other by the other Avengers and by the public - the android and the witch - and they seem to understand one another’s capabilities. Vision begs Wanda to not leave not to refrain from putting him through the floor. Being put through the floor is easily survivable for him. He is literally made from Vibranium. He can phase through solid matter! He can alter his own density! He’s also an android who doesn’t think like we do, he’s genuinely surprised that he can be distracted because his way of thinking is very very alien to that of a human.

So if Wanda’s abusive, so is Vision. But given their conversation at Leipzig Airport when Wanda finally stops fighting, it seems like they’re generally quite open with their emotions and their thoughts. They each understand why they responded as they did and don’t seem to hold it too much against it each other. So, honestly, I’d say they have a healthier relationship than some (Pepper/Tony has a few problems, so I actually Do Not Judge Pepper taking a break from him in CACW) especially given that Wanda comes out of a codependent bond with her brother because her brother dies. The fact she’s not an emotional wreck and is capable of healthy relationships is amazing. Given a lot of factors… look the relationship - whatever it may be - between Wanda and Vision needs work, but all relationships do. And both of them clearly put a lot of thought into their discussions, with Vision’s awkward hamfisted attempts to make Wanda feel better, and Wanda’s willingness to talk openly to Vision in turn. It’s clearly a relationship based on communication and intellectual exercise, which I think is a decently solid basis? But then again, I’m ace, and of the few relationships I’ve had, one of them involved a hugely manipulative dickhead, so what do I know.

Honestly the squickiness is the one reason I can really see and get behind [3] even though it doesn’t squick me out personally. Vision is literally a year old by the time of CACW. That’s not hyperbole, you can check the MCU timelines on the wikia. He’s very young, he’s still very naive, he still lacks a solid understanding of human nature because he’s very logical and so emotion and ulterior motives sometimes - heck, often - pass him by. He’s seriously lacking in life experience and that makes forming relationships with him of any kind to be very weird.

The way that I find it easier to handle is… well, look at Ultron. Emotionally immature, yes, but intellectually he had a great understanding of things, even if he was an omnicidal maniac. Then, look at JARVIS. We don’t know when JARVIS was made, but he’s existed in MCU canon as a whole and intact thing for years, he’s had plenty of time to mature as a half AI half natural language UI, and then being merged with what there is of the part-sceptre brain of Ultron…. physically he’s a year old, but he’s got more going on in his skull than just that. He may lack a lot of experience and understanding - of course he does, part of him comes from an omnicidal maniac, the other part is a bodyless AI that acted as Tony Stark’s nanny, minder, adviser, best friend and general helping hand. His understanding of a lot of things is very off.

But he isn’t just a year old. He’s also got a lot of other stuff going on.

Honestly, if you don’t like ScarletVision, that’s fine. Its your business, it’s your preference. I don’t get ClintCoulson or Stony or… hell a lot of slash ships these days, if I’m honest, partially due to how they dismiss female characters even when written by female fans, but I’m not going to shit on them. If ScarletVision is your NOTP just block it. There’s no need to go shitting all over it, or trying to justify your hatred, distaste or squicked-out-ness by it. Just say “I don’t like this,” or “It makes me uncomfortable” and leave it at that. You don’t have to justify your personal feelings to other people. You’re allowed to dislike things just because you dislike things. You’re allowed to like things that are ProblematicTM [7] just because they scratch your id.

But yeah. People have their own reasons for not liking ScarletVision and that’s justified. Seeing it pushed in their faces, I can see why someone who doesn’t care for it would come to hate it - I didn’t care about Tony Stark but his stans have made me detest him on principle. But, you don’t need to spew hate everywhere about it, and that isn’t necessarily a personal issue.

That’s a fandom issue, largely due to the purity police, problematic TM thing, the callout brigade and people trying to prove that they are ideologically pure to try to prevent such callouts happening to them. The solution? For people to stop calling out other people or to stop giving a shit if they get called out. For people to stop overusing or misusing callouts to get back at people they don’t like. For people to stop lying with callouts. For people to stop uncritically reblogging callout posts without checking facts for themselves.

This probably isn’t going to happen, not for a while at least. Not before fandom has almost entirely burned itself out, burned itself to the ground and had to rebuild itself from the ground up.

But hey. I guess chewing up and spitting out your friends and companions only to team up again for the sequel is in right now - it’s what’s going in in the MCU.

[1] And hey, if it was nods for BuckyNat you know people would be practically cheering, so I find it kind of weird that this specifically is an issue while people are almost panting for a reference to BuckyNat, just as I find it annoying that people spent ages begging JKR for more information only to turn around and go “why won’t she stop!?” Answer: Because y’all spent years begging her for more. Don’t be bitter because your wish got answered.

[2] Yes there are issues with House of M, yes I know you may dislike it, no, I don’t care right now. Like what you like, dislike what you like, whether house of M was good is not the question, the question is if it was significant and it was. 

 [3] Being sick of Marvel pushing something via nods to the comics sure, that can be irritating, but there’s a bit of a double standard there because no one minds it for other characters and, indeed, they seem to be begging for it for BuckyNat. They ignore the nod to Ultimates that Clint’s family is [4] just to spit on it because it’s not Clintasha like they wanted or ClintCoulson (how did that ship start, honestly? IT MAKES ZERO SENSE), they hate on the nod to comics for WandaVision, but they seem to keep their eyes peeled for every other Easter egg opportunity, draw wildly out of proportion parallels between comics and MCU [5] and practically beg for BuckyNat [6].

[4] As is like… Clint’s character in this, he’s much more brutal than 616 Clint. MCU Clint is more disaster to humans than human disaster, and that is very Ultimates.

[5] People saying how much of a slap in the face the Raft is in MCU are WRONG because the Raft is new in MCU and has never been used to imprison anyone, let alone villains or heroes, so the slap to the face that it is in comics does not apply here.

[6] I get it, BuckyNat is really interesting and features two people dealing with their differing yet similar traumas from the same source. I’m a sucker for that kind of thing, I get it. But guys, it’s not what’s happening.

[7] Kylux feat. blood and force choking for example. Look I have issues with the shipping of Kylo and Hux but those fics are AMAZING and HORRIBLE and I LOVE THEM, for the simple reason that they are very id-scratchy. Sometimes I like to read about deeply unhealthy bloody relationships or just like. Straight up healthy BDSM. We all have likes and dislikes, but those don’t have to be due to an ideological basis. All things are flawed, some things more than others, but just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean that everyone should dislike the thing [8].

[8] There are, of course, exceptions to this. Nazis and Neo-Nazis, for example, should be universally hated and vilified because they wish to commit fucking genocide. White nationalists should be universally hated and vilified because they want to destroy anyone they don’t see as white, when race is a completely arbitrary construct entirely designed to create social divisions in the first place.  But, some things can be problematic without being The Worst And Most Awful Thing Ever and that’s what this post is about.

[cloudsoffire]

Recently I've been depressed to the point of feeling physically sick, but I can't just not do anything. I have to do or work on something. My grades are the lowest they've ever been and I can't do anything to fix them. Not because I can't make up zeros or anything but because I just can't. I don't even have the motivation to eat and only do it out of habit anymore. I literally cannot tell anyone anything or open up about anything. I don't think I remember ever being legitimately happy, but the way I act around other people they probably think I'm one of the least depressed people they've met. I don't feel jealousy towards other people's work, I just feel like my stuff is just objectively worse. I don't know if I even feel guilt anymore. Just endless apathy. But nobody’s ever going to know because I won't even have the motivation to tell them. I know that nobody would care if I died. I doubt anybody would even notice, actually. My online friends probably wouldn't care, and I've isolated myself from my irl friends to the point where I don't even know if we're still friends. Probably not. The only reason I'm still alive is because my fear of death vastly outweighs any suicidal urges. I feel restricted even on here because there are people I know irl on here, and I know they'd take offense if I blocked them. I'm not going to stop drawing or making music or anything. I don't know if I'm even capable of doing that. Just a stupid vent about a shitty person in general.