#i'm probably guilty of it myself tbh

[zukkaoru]

love reading the dark era light novel and being like "woah dazai actually seems to be written in character here!" and then remembering that this is. official content. this is canon, written by the author of the manga. of course dazai is in character here

[immortalsins]

the end of exams has been the biggest goal for me to get to for a couple of months but now it's here i'm realising everything is still awful even if i don't have to study for hours on end

[monstermp3]

sometimes i think i'm way too unkind to myself.............

[yellowcry]

You know what time is it? It's time to yap about the new solarballs episode because I loved it

Uranus, please, calm down and think for a moment. I feel so bad for him tbh. For the first time he had a chance to become something other than a joke and unfinished parody of Saturn with weird tilt. Just for reality to smash it into pieces. And the last scene, where he threatens to leave... like you can see he just begs for attention. But, just as always, the ice giants are forgotten...

Mars seems as the most conflicted. Well he did admire Jupiter. Honestly I'm glad the planets aren't all immediately jump to hug one another but seem to have pretty hard feelings in case of the rocky planets. Saturn and Neptune are probably the only ones genuinely happy. (And be real, we all could expect this from Saturn)

"Let's not pull this stunt with heading into the sun again" MERCURY I'M GONNA THROW YOU INTO THE SUN MYSELF RN this is literally the best way to make suicidal person even more suicidal why did you have to say this. 😭😭/hj No but I understand he's probably stressed too. Pretty nice to see Mercury putting his feelings first. This isn't right, but just as Uranus, it all makes a lot of sence. And the way Mercury got unsulted at being called 'a moon' bro weren't you told not to treat them as inferiour? Honestly, this kinda returns to the point where planet, while they DO love their moons, they see them as lesser.

But seriously can anyone put earth to therapy again. And jupiter. And sun. And honestly the entire solar system.

Low-key dissapoined that they called past Earth 'Proto.' Proto is kinda shortened of Prototype. And prototype of what he was? The current Earth? They couldn't even be aware of his existence? (Say I as if the fact their names before humanity make any sense at all). I am a deep Gaia believer. (Or at least Terra)

Jupiter reunited with his moons! Finally! I've been waiting for this for the past ten years lolz. 'Wait that was real?' The best reaction one could have. But omg they are so wholesome. And seing Europa tear up wasn't on my 2025 bingo card. The entire scene was honestly so sweet. Solarballs for real let Ganymede be hurt. (Fair, Jupiter wouldn't have to question his state. Question is only WHY is he healed in the patreon previem like it takes place right after the episode??). But dang it, nice to see that despite everything they love one another.

'Are you really saying hi to me or is it another one of your lies?' Sun, are you okay? Like mentally/j i know he is not. But this is the weirdest reaction one could have.

The fact planet X didn't lose suddenly makes a big mess. I mean, Jupiter won't be ejected again that's for sure. But damn, it would be so easier if moons had actually won. Bro, Ganymede looks so guilty when sun reminds planet X won the challenge. But Sun I am still pissed off at how you made them play an asteroid dodgeball. Kinda hope he would be confronted on this fact in the next episode.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i lied to my partners about studying

my partners want me to limit studying to 4 hours a day, however i always feel like shit if i don't study. i enjoy studying geniunely as a passtime and i feel like of all the hobbies possible, i'd rather spend 6 hours studying than 6 hours playing video games (i'm not saying that playing video games is bad, i'm just saying that it's not what i personally enjoy). plus i feel kinda guilty about how upset my partners seem to get when i try to set the boundary that they probably shouldn't control my time like that (they do usually respect my boundaries)

i understand that it's fucked up to lie to my partners about how much i'm studying in a day, however i do kinda feel like it's none of their business. i get they're just trying to help me but i've always been a very independant person and the few times i've actually asked for their help, they were more concerned with sexting each other to even think to respond to me having a panic attack and begging for help

i am still being healthy and i'm not sacrificing taking care of myself for studying. i sleep around 6-9 hours a day, i eat 2 meals (i often skip breakfast but it's just not my thing tbh and i always have a bigger lunch to make up for it), i walk my dog every day so i'm getting exercise, etc. only thing i'm lacking is water but that's been an issue for me since i was around 8 so it's not related to the studying, just me forgetting. i help with chores too around the house so i'm not being useless

for more context, i am 16 and i'm going to start college in a week (i am unfortunately british), so i want to be well-read. i've finished all of my college summer work. i live with my family and my relationship with my partners is long-distance. i have adhd (and Other but that's unrelated so i'm not bringing it up), which means i can get hyperfixated on things like studying and i do often enter hyperfocus about it. however, i think being in hyperfocus about learning is probably one of the best things that can happen about. i also have autism and social studies (the thing i'm studying) is my special interest

so if i lied to get them to leave me alone so i could study in peace, would that be an asshole move? if so, what should i do instead?

What are these acronyms?

[the-s1lly-corner]

How would TADC cast react to their s/o baking them some pastries?

TADC cast x reader who bakes!

Funny that this is the next request due to be answered because I'm making orange cranberry scones as we speak (for an order! Not for me sadly, though I have enough to make myself a batch!)

CAINE:

Bro is going to try to shove whatever you've made for him into his jaws before bubble even has a chance to eat it.. has probably eaten right out of your hand before because of this/j

...../hj

He seems the type

Loudly goes on and on about how amazing it tasted, every single time without fail! Gets REALLY creative with his compliments, I thimk

Alas admin is no where near as creative as caine

POMNI:

Looks like she keeps a jar of cookies in her house in the real world. And honestly theres nothing wrong with that... though pomni herself cannot bake for shit

But good news! You're constantly making sure she has a supply to them so things work out in the end!

Though, I think she would eventually feel guilty because you're always making stuff for her, so shes gonna try to return the favor; with varying success

RAGATHA:

I know for a fact I said somewhere that ragatha would, if she ever escaped with her partner to the real world, she would open a bakery with them. As well as this I also hc ragatha to be really into baking

So

You guys bond together through that, and perhaps even have dates where you two get together and make something! (This can be read as platonic, too!)

This leads to you guys sometimes surprising one another with a baked good... kinda funny tbh

JAX:

Similar to zooble, jax is more of a sour over sweet kind of guy. But if you tie say, limes or lemons into a treat, then you've caught his interest. Probably the type of guy to snag pieces of stuff before everythings done and/or assembled, you're probably going to have to bar him from the kifchen

He does this both to be annoying but because you're so so talented he cant resist

Comically slaps his hand as he tries to reach for something

KINGER:

I propose to you;

Person who can cook but sucks at baking x person who can bake but sucks at cooking

Oooo I mentioned in ragathas part that you two would make a bakery in the real world

But imagine you and kinger having a stay-in date in the real world; he makes dinner and you make dessert and its just you two working around in the kitchen and just

Talking

I think that's nice

As for the actual giving of goods, I think he would be honored. Makes it a point to take his time and savor the goodie. It kind of just.. no clips/phases into his head

Weird

Constantly talks about how talented you are to others, I think

ZOOBLE:

Oh... thanks...

Look zooble loves you, a lot, but sweets arent exactly their go to. Now sour and savory, that's another story and if you make her anything that falls into those groups they're gonna subtly hint that they wish for you to bake something

Actually .. no not subtly, zooble doesnt strike me as the type to drops hints like that majority of the time, they seem more blunt

Very nice, none of it goes to waste! Bad at making compliments but does express that your baking is good regardless

GANGLE:

She looks like a strawberry shortcake enjoyer (I have never tried or made strawberry shortcake( and I explain why

Would be over the moon if you gave her some. Actually, she would still be over the moon if you gave her ANYTHING

Shes very shy when it comes to recieving gifts, so she may kinda. Freeze up when you put the plate in her hands... give her a minute shes just trying to find her voice to thank you!

[thechibilitwick]

As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

​​Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

[ikamigami]

Slight rant I guess lol

I'm probably most likely wrong about Sun cause like honestly I doubt that VAs know what depressive psychosis is and guilt delusion and all that stuff so there's no way that my perspective on Sun is right but it's whatever I guess idk so anyway..

In laes episode I think that Sun was like "why Moon still blames himself when things are my fault".. Sun (at least to me) always seemed to want to help Moon realize that the things that happened to them aren't his fault.. or that's what Sun always thought..

And it somewhat fits with what he told Earth "sometimes I don't know how to help".. he sounded sad.. because he was never able to help Moon realize that things aren't his fault that Sun really don't blame Moon.. but himself..

To me it seems that Sun doesn't want to talk with Jack about his feelings anymore because he said that Jack didn't understand him.. and I really think that it's all about the guilt that Sun feels for how Moon and later Nexus turned out to be.. their suffering and mental issues..

I feel like Sun doesn't care about what will happen to him as long as he won't die solely because he doesn't want to leave his family.. because he knows exactly how it feels when your family member dies.. he went through this so many times..

For me Sun doesn't want to share his feelings on any matter that may reveal how guilty he feels.. that he blames himself and feels like he's a bad person..

But like I said.. it's how it looks like to me.. but 1) I'm not the writer of this show so idk what VAs has planned for Sun 2) things could've pretty much changed regarding Sun's story arc cause like this show has over 2 years so a lot of things happened in VAs lives that could shape later parts of story and 3) I heavily doubt that Sun actually has depressive psychosis cause it's not that common and like Davis said himself they only show stuff that either they themselves experienced or their friends.. which is understandable tbh..

I'm trying to comes to terms with it.. that only I and maybe just a few peeps see Sun this way - depressive psychosis with guilt delusion etc - cause it's highly unlikely that's true..

As much as I doubt that Sun will become Dark Sun 2.0 it's still more likely than what I think about Sun tbh.. heck even theory that Dark Sun is actually Sun from the future is more likely than what I think about Sun..

And that's okay cause this is VAs story and not mine..

It only hurts a little solely because I had learned the hard way that people don't understand how it is to feel guilty on delusional level.. how it is to feel like you're the worst person ever.. but that's my personal experiences..

But idk VAs and their personal experiences that they later base their characters on.. so I'm trying to get over it a little bit..

If later it'll turn out that I was completely wrong about Sun I might continue writing my fic as an AU.. if I really will still feel like it.. cause for now it kinda sucks that no one understands..

This is also why I lost some of the passion that I had for theorizing for sams.. or about Sun.. cause those folks who were rude me made me realize that most people don't get it how it is to feel like you're evil and everything is your fault..

And that's okay but it still hurt how they went about it.. how they ridiculed me and were mean to me..

But maybe it's not that bad cause at least it helped me distance myself from sams and Sun.. like it doesn't matter that no one gets it.. I can't theorize for shit lol but that's fine..

[nso-csi]

231117 Weverse live (eng sub)

Taemin says that it snowed for the first time this year in korea today and asked if his manager saw it. he says that the scarf was gifted by the brand itself and he was thanking the brand for this scarf. cr.

I'm going to the airport because I have a schedule in Thailand. Even tho I left early, there's a lot of traffic because people are getting off work. Today's also friday! I envy the people getting off work, treat yourselves well~ I woke up today and worked out and had a meeting regarding the concert and left for the airport. I've been pretty busy lately. cr.

I might sound full of myself, but rather than fixed variety shows, I want to do youtube content, like uploading song/dance covers. cr.

Taemin: I don't even know if they'll invite me over to variety shows however rather thanwanting to become a regular on variety shows, I want something that actually suits me? something like youtube content or sth relating to dance? cr.

Fans: You don't have any vacation? aren't you tired? Taemin: I don't think I have any vacation for this year, I've really been working hard (without rest) this year~ cr.

Taemin reading a comment: no holiday this year? I won't have holidays this year til the end of year. cr.

Taemin: can you all write how old you are? I am curious.. I am really curious.. because it seems like I'm the only one speaking in honorific?? no one apart from me speak formally?? Every one is younger but no one calls me oppa, everyone was like 'taemin-ah' but of course i know t's because the fans want to feel closer to me that's why they don't speak with honorifics cr.

Taemin: what's funny is everyone talks to me casually even those younger than me 6"6 no one even says oppa to me 6^6 I was joking you can talk to me casually~ some people get mischievous because I said so I was joking! cr.

Alcohol? it's been so long since i drank. When was the last time? I'm not drinking recently, maybe I lost interest. cr.

Taemin said it's been a while since he drink alcohol and said the last time he drank was during the live in Japan cr.

I'm so thankful that so many people did the guilty challenge with me. i was worried that they might feel embarrassed/scold me but everyone did show their abs, so i was very relieved. cr.

Fortunately there are a lot of people that recognize me as an artist. i'm determined to walk my own path. cr.

Everyone's asking me to take care of them, tbh i can't take care of myself. cr.

People who exercise regularly always show up. Like Minho is everywhere. He probably does ab workouts in his sleep and showers while flexing his abs and when he picks up stuff he picks them up in a squat position. I think it's really cool that people can exercise routinely like that. I would rather live without abs and be able to eat whatever i want. During the concert i should show you my abs~ 6v6 shooting content with minho hyung would be fun. there's two types of people who exercise: those who enjoy working out, and those who whine and complain. i'm the second type 6v6. cr.

Taemin: Minho hyung must work out even sleeping n even taking a shower 😆 he has such healthy hobbies so cool~ but shall we just have drinks? let's give up let's eat what we want this life~! there are 2 types of people one working out happily the other doing it whining i'm the latter cr.

I know how hard the SM staff works, so I don't want to talk bad about SM. But there are times when I don't understand the decisions made by (upper management). even if I were to have an ordinary job, I'd be bound to have some sort of complaints. cr.

Everyone is working hard to make something great. "Euisoo hyung make lots of money" I think our company's salary isn't that high. But everyone works with so much passion. It's a company where you make little money but you work a lot. and i know how hard our fans support us. Everyone always talks about how shinee/taemin fans are so amazing and beautiful! Some people enter the company and run away because the reality didn't match their expectations. So the people who stay behind work hard. The company is expanding but there's no money, so i don't understand how it's getting bigger LOL What I want to say is everyone is working hard, so please know that. There are people who work hard behind the scenes. That's right, raise the salary of our staffs! We have the deepest history among entertainment agencies in korea, so raise our salaries to match our reputation! 6v6 cr.

[covetyou]

ty @perotovar for the tag you cutie pie. I love silly little questions (I'm procrastinating making dinner and writing, so I'd love anything more than those things rn tbh)

me yapping below, if you'd like to know silly little answers to some questions

Do you make your bed?: a vague attempt at flapping my sheets is made most days, but it's never neatly made.

Favorite number?: 7! I can't tell you why it just has always been that way. when I found out my sun sign is in my 7th house I had an "of course 😌" moment even though I don't really even know what that means but it feels right.

What's your job?: books! and data!

If you could go back to school, would you?: there was a time I seriously considered a masters so I could go more ham with using corpora to study trends in language, but I didn't. now I literally work with data and databases and analysis of that data, and books have words in them so 🤷‍♀️

Can you parallel park?: I don't know what I'm capable of (I got my full license a little over a decade ago and can legally go buy a car and drive it all by myself even though honestly I have no clue if I can even drive any more and I'd probably be a major hazard. I've never driven a car with a full license, not as a learner)

Do you think aliens are real?: with how impossibly massive the universe is? duh. as long as they stay away though pls and thank you.

Can you drive a manual car?: I am licensed to, though once again, who knows what I am capable of (this sounds like a threat and maybe it is)

What's your guilty pleasure?: no guilty pleasures here!

Tattoos?: none! I've thought of various ideas for them for years and years and never committed to anything because I am so painfully indecisive. I will probably get one soon though, it is perfect but the idea makes me devastatingly sad. (a little print of my dogs paw on the top of my right foot - she always stands on it and always leaves a little indent and I'd like to walk with her forever)

Favorite color?: pink or yellow

Do you like puzzles?: fuck yes! we have one on the go called pumpkin patch right now. I'm very tempted by a colourful mushroom one too.

Any phobias?: yes, and I'm not typing it out because that makes me feel Worse™ and feeds into my OCD in ways I do not need at any time, let alone at nighttime.

Favorite childhood sport?: I hated team sports as a kid and still do now. I played rugby for a little while when I was 15, and liked when we did tennis or hockey during PE, but outside of that sport was not for me. turns out I'm a solo exercise bitch though.

Do you talk to yourself?: I am fortunate enough to have a dog who I can direct most of my chronic yapping towards, so I look less insane and feel less compelled to talk to myself. I do do the standard "what the fuck am I doing" and the like when I enter a room and immediately forget why I went there in the first place

no clue who has done this or not but @milla-frenchy @jolapeno @strang3lov3 @beefrobeefcal

and, finally, puppy tax for getting this far

[34saveme34]

so like w new years and all

it's funny because 2024 was truly the year of smg4 for me

I. don't remember anything else much that I did

never thought it would survive almost a year (I count myself in the fandom from You Used to be Cool's release) considering I've been having mostly 3-6 month lasting interests and then this one popped in and made me write again, and I do feel I have improved a lot, met a lot of cool people, saw a lot of drama happen, said some things that probably people didn't like (I know at least one person has me blocked, no I won't say who I don't wanna make drama out of it obvsly it's just a silly block moment), got weirdly obsessed with my own work in a way I didn't before, at least not to this extent

sometimes felt very included, sometimes not, that is just the way of Someone Like Me (I will not elaborate.)

but tbh it had been really fun n one of the first times in a while I'm in a more major fandom despite several people outside the fandom insisting that smg4 fell off

anyways if someone comes up to your for some reason n you want to argue I think the best thing to say to smg4 fell off is well, sometimes things fall out of popularity and that's okay, that won't define whether or not I'm here for it or not

also I bet they like worse media as well so they really shouldn't be one to judge, I think we all have our guilty pleasures

besides most of the time these ppl only complain because of the shift of focus that story became more important than random silly meme stupid

like if you're thinking about it you can really see the difference measured in in the amount of naked mario jokes

the less there is the more you go on to recent episodes

anyways this post isn't me saying goodbye, I've still got so much to do and despite how smg34 shippers (some of them) can make me feel (for various reasons) I still wanna do stuff with those 2 and everyone else the best I can

I've had a lot of ideas actually, 2 that are newer

one that has to do with 3, one that makes you feel Dread (tm), one marbob thing that's super silly, the absolute need to write an smg4 murder mystery

tbh w how much I wanna write I do sometimes like um........... think about collabing? I maybe only mentioned it once but would be real fun if a fellow writer wanted to help w anything (I can also absolutely help in return! like with for example being a beta reader to look out for mistakes, let it be grammatical or something plotwise) like Idk if anyone would like to or maybe they want to involve me in their own idea you can jsut like, message me on here or ask for my discord as I do have one

Idk I'm talking a lot now I always have a lot to say </3

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

I'm at the stage of pmdd where I feel awful and guilty because I've convinced myself my flatmates hate me I've been avoiding them and the kitchen like the plague except for sometimes when I pass them on the stairs so I'll say hi or when one of my flatmates visits my floor and I feel terrible they have gone out drinking 6 nights in a row and that got me pissed even tho it's none of my business and they did try to include me and ask if I'm going the first few days but then they stopped bc I literally have been staying in my room all day then I started leaving early and returning late to take away that stress and after went out with friends Friday i was so chill it was the two glasses of alcohol but I thought that maybe I could do this and could go down to the kitchen but it's so impossible and my mum calls me everyday what did you have for lunch and I've been saying so much rubbish like all that food I had bought hasn't been touched even tho I said I've been eating it because she told me earlier how when she left on Saturday she was so worried how would I fend for myself when I was literally pushed into the deep end but she said she felt so much better after I explained how I was doing because I just know it would be 100% worse if i told her the truth. Anyway as I was saying my bread went mouldy and the cheesecake I thought everyone finished went mouldy and I do think my flatmates are nice because this girl asked if forgot that I had some and tbh I want to make an effort but I'm just so damn tired on Saturday they did a pub crawl and I thought maybe that's the perfect time but no i messed that up because I just didn't text them and then today they had a movie night and again that'd be a good way to break the ice but no i messed that up again because I'm sill sitting in the library at 1:50 am. And I was going to go back to my room but there's people downstairs so what did I do I went back to the library and now they're all jsut wondering where I am all week because they haven't seen me in days I do know names but I can't match some of the faces because I struggle with that I don't like being teased like 3 days ago one kf them asked if I know their names this isn't primary school ITS ALL S FUCKING STUPID I haven't used to my voice often enough i was literally going to cry on Friday because that was the first time I had people around me that week and it was nice to hang out and I'm just sad because my best friend hasn't even talked with me that much and he lives opposite me so now I'm panicking that a friendship of 7 years has gone to waste even though it was perfectly fine before move in I've literally been talking to my other friends back home more than i have been talking to people here and I want to attend the daytime events even but then I end up changing my mind last second what if went to the other uni the friends I've made are so nice though I just wish I lived in their flat instead we ordered pizza and we played smash bros so it was fun they don't all live in the same building they're spread out I was worried i wouldn't have anyone to get a 2nd year house with but they probably will because they're in the same kind if situation as me and anyway I was going to throw out the food yesterday something is blocking me from going inside the kitchen I even was meant to do the laundry because I'm running out of clothes too wear on the daily but did I do that? No and at the start I did keep my room clean but now it's all messy again I have to psyche myself up to go to the bathroom even though it's right next to my door so yes it is getting bad again

[brainrotheartrot]

hi hi yes hello,, first off i just wanna say i LOVE your art.

second, this is kinda weird but i just joined the arcane fandom not too long ago, & it was literally only because i saw vijinx art. like all of my mutuals are into arcane & i never bothered to get into it UNTIL i saw fanart of vijinx a few months ago. something abt it just intrigued me. i honestly never cared for caitvi.

however i wouldn’t consider myself a pro shipper, in fact i’d deny that. this is the first time i’ve enjoyed anything like this & i have no idea why. however i do like hardcore dynamics, for example, ellie/abby from tlou. but of course something like vi/jinx is more “extreme”. well in my opinion.

i’m coming to you because i’ve been stalking a lot of vijinx shippers and i really admire their content, especially yours. it’s such a guilty pleasure of mine. but i’m too scared to interact with anyone, even on an alt. so i just decided to stay anonymous.

i was just wondering if you ever felt guilty the first time you started shipping them? i’d honestly envy you if you haven’t. and how & why did you start shipping them? feel free to rant abt them for as long as you’d like.

i’ve been hearing stuff abt how they weren’t always sisters, like in the early league days. i wish it just stayed that way because it bothers me to not be able to talk abt my favorite ships publicly without being ridiculed for it. but a fucked up part of me is glad that they became sisters. holds more weight, you know. i understand the appeal entirely.

i’ve also even been secretly drawing them but i definitely do not have the balls to post them anywhere😭

ANYWAY, i’m yapping, but just let me know anything about your experience with them, how you view them n stuff. and if you have any advice to give me or any other information pls feel free. thank u so much

ps. i’m totally reading ur fic in a bit

Aww, hey there anon! Thanks for reaching out, always nice to meet another ViJinx fan :) I'm glad you enjoy my art, and I hope you'll like my fic as well! (Also, if you'd like to send me your art privately, I totally promise not to show anybody. <3)

I got a little rambly in my answer there, so I'll put it under the cut.

Honestly, I only call myself a 'proshipper' because this is what modern fandom lingo dictates. I don't really gel with a lot of elements of 'proshipdom', if you will -- there seems to be some broad agreement that if you like Some messed up aspects in your fiction, you must like All of them. And I really don't! I ship ViJinx because I love their specific dynamic, not just because I'm hot for every taboo topic by default. I probably would've shipped them just as much if the show had just made them close childhood friends, for example. But I also have no issue with fictional incest ships, I think they can be fun and juicy.

Like you, I've always been really drawn to problematic and intense lesbian relationships. I like CaitVi plenty, and I think they're going to get a lot messier in S2, which I'm excited for. But ViJinx is just an insanely compelling dynamic. I love the toxic codependent yuri shit. I love the tenderness and the violence, their shared past that now feels completely inaccessible to them both, Jinx's obsessiveness, Vi refusing to give up the image of Powder she's clung on to for years... man, this shit just rocks, okay. I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't.

I've never felt any guilt about shipping ViJinx, tbh. I'm a fandom oldbie, by which I mean I was around before the morality police took over, and everyone understood we were just here to mash Barbies and have a good time. I've shipped several incest pairings before this, and I've always had a blast doing it. And so help me god, I don't intend to stop now, even if my Twitter blocklist is twenty miles long. I just immediately cut out anyone who tries to start shit, and chill with my fellow weirdos. It's a pretty small circle, but it's a nice time!

If you do decide to make an alt at some point, I recommend doing so on Twitter, as I've been able to find more active ViJinx shippers there. I could rec you some nice people to follow. :) Thanks for reaching out!

[uhgood-girl]

i haven't had a chance to fully form this thought yet so bear with me while i explore my own brain but my immediate response to this is i think two things can be true at the same time.

this is me playing devil's advocate with both you and myself, tbh. if you do not enjoy borderline pedantic over thinking, i recommend you turn back now.

i watched the entirety of standing next to you with my jaw on the floor. beyond seeing jk in what i would consider to be the epitome of his element, the arrival of all that experience and hard work and raw talent finely honed, culminating in the absolute pop perfection that is both that song and performance... well, i've made a joke on here before about my brains inability at this stage to not insert jikook into things. i could maybe help it if i wanted to (i can stop at anytime, says the alcoholic 🥴) but i don't want to because i'm having fun and i've made friends with the brain worms. they're my brain worms, who are you take them from me.

i have also mentioned jikook being it's own form of pattern recognition drug for mine, obviously, and probably other's more neuro-spicy tendencies. once you have seen and unlocked the code, it's really hard to turn the goggles off.

so let's talk about patterns. what is a pattern? a pattern is lmao no, i'm kidding, i don't think i need to define this for you but i guess when i say pattern here i'm referring to what a lot of people often call coincidences. (have i lost you already bc of this word? i know people throw it around often here, but again, bear with me) coincidences can become patterns if they repeat enough. how many coincidences does it take to form a pattern? three, i believe, is the universally accepted number but that feels so small when i type it out, much less think about it, tbh. but i suppose in the discourse of coincidences, something that reoccurs without apparent connection, (traveling strangers who keep ending up in the same cities together, you and your friend always texting each other at the exact same time, two people in a band who keep mysteriously referencing things that connect them in a particular sort of light) bc of the unlikelieness of their serendipitous nature, it makes more sense. and because i want to discuss this in a more tangible form and i believe humans to be meddling by nature, i think coincidences become patterns, beyond the number three, when intent enters the equation.

was that a very long way to say that despite the fact that jk didn't write any of the lyrics himself and is quoted in the article above as telling people to not take things too literally that i'm still going to intuit some autobiographical meaning from them? well, yes. i guess so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

because ✨context✨(glass closet and comp het in particular). a context that i fully admit i am abscribing to the situation myself but if you're reading this i assume you're already in this boat with me, it's your context too, at least tangentially (GUILTY, your honor) by association. the entirety of any jikook argument has to exist in this space and to have gotten here at all required taking some liberties, a certain reading between the lines that is a tightrope of wanting to respect what someone says outloud and at face value while being aware few things are ever black and white (minus the infamous couple in question bah bum tiss 🥁).

if it feels different to you bc it's something he explicity expressed, that's totally fair. i've been back and forth about it a few times myself and maybe i'll feel differently tomorrow. but rn, this is where i'm at and this is all just spitballing at the end of the day, no?

in an attempt to not be accused of only picking and choosing the lyrics that suit my (gay) agenda, it feels worth pointing out that the lines i find applicable to jikook are not literal. as in while i fully believe jk could probably do anything he set his big, beautiful heart out to do, leaving someone's body golden like the sun and moon is unlikely. ( the jikook relevance is in it's choice, why that particular metaphor) and despite being more in the realm of possibility, i don't really believe he's fucking seven days a week either. his agreeance to the use of female pronouns in some songs and even the women in his music videos are a. the comp het standard for this worldwide pop boy takeover (inarguably) and b. don't automatically negate any potential underlying queerness of the artist himself. so when he sings she (is there even anything in the lyrics beyond the pronoun itself that could only refer to a cis woman? hell, does "she" only have to refer to a cis woman in this day and age? jimin is v in touch with his anima these days, don't kink shame :P) I'm taking that as an artistic liberty the same way I'm taking something like it's deeper than the rain. and the latter rain line only stands out to me because, again, broader context.

he didn't write any of the song lyrics but he was there for every step of the production and still approved what actually made it on to the album. he didn't write there for you, the song in gcf tokyo either but i dare you to go find a jikook argument about that video that doesn't list that song and its lyrics as evidence. he didn't write them but it's definitely something he cares about and is very aware of. i doubt anything was chosen without some degree of thought. which brings us full circle back to coincidences vs patterns and intent.

do i think the lyrics a lot of us collectively recognized as jikook coded, even if you respectfully don't want to read that far into it, were a coincidence this late in the game? ain't no way lmao. our jikook roads are paved with these sort of "coincidences." you think they weren't apart of the appeal? helped boost it right to main track status? maybe if it had just been the lyrics, without any of the imagery in the video (i would love to know how much creative direction he had here too, i hope we find out) to back it up, but between that not straight red line of fate, the black swan like wings, the dancing in front of the sun painting, the two households, both alike in dignity, in fair verona where we lay our scene aka the forbidden love vibes, etc. - it's too much for this sad little hyper-fixated romantic queer, personally lol.

so, i think two things can be true at the same time! i'm sure a lot of the songs and their implications have no autobiographical meaning to them beyond a universally relatable conversation and narrative about love, i do believe him. i think based on all the responses and feedback his first releases got, making a statement such as the one in the article was a good? pr move if nothing else too and definitely in line with what we have come to expect around an industry that bts is both sort of moving away from but still restricted by at this stage. if you've read any of my other ramblings so far on this site, you'll know i operate from a place of the more smoke screen around all this (this being a potential romantic relationship between jikook) the better, bc at the end of the day i want all of bts more than anything safe, happy, and free to pursue whatever creative fancy they can dream. them building a level of plausible deniability into this sort of stuff protects them. i will remain a broken record on that point.

but bc of the larger context of jikook as a whole and my belief that jk is both clever and also a romantic at heart, i'm going to take these crumbs and go. 🚗💨 i'm not in any sort of who can be the more superior, rational delulu competition, we're all in our own little clown cars no matter your chosen dressings until proven otherwise. that's the nature of this whole shebang, bby. 🤠👉👉

def feel free to come respectfully argue with me though, i'm never here to convince anyone but i enjoy these conversations and i love other people's perspective. are you ignoring the standing next to you jikook bait?

[olderthannetfic]

The slur topic is a bit weird tbh, not because people are annoyed about certain terms sounding like or being alike, but because it forgets that certain slurs are particular to a specific place, and not everyone is going to know or even care to research because it has no relevance to them, or is even something that pertains to their social experience. Expecting everyone to adhere to specific rule of not using what is a "slur" in one place probably won't work, because of how different the understanding of language and personal social politics are. If a term has absolutely zero relevance where you live, and it's already tied to a different meaning a/b/o as a term for omegaverse, how should they ever connect the dots, or care to find out that someone from a different culture also uses that words as a slur? Why is a completely unrelated person suddenly guilty of the insults and slurs perpetuated by people of a different culture? And even just the awareness of it or the mind of it. Will people who ask this also respect not using slurs and terms of insults from other cultures? Or is this a thing only expected of people when it comes to anglospheric racially/sexuality/indentity charged insults and slurs? How many people think "colored" is an insult or a slur? In South Africa it's a description for, I quote "multiracial ethnic communities". The other name for the makrut lime, "kefir/kafir/kaffir/cafri" is considered a racial slur against black people in South Africa, yet it's still readily and openly used in recipes, videos, food guides. It also originated in Islam and was used against non-believers. Oriental has a big negative history in the West, and is considered a negative term, and degrading. Yet you can easily find a lot of Asian stores that use that specific term or tag to refer to items produced and sold in the global market. I think a big one is also for other Spanish speakers that the word "negro" for the color black is constantly being pointed at as a slur by people not speaking Spanish, but as a Spanish speaker myself it's literally just a color. Crayola could sing a song about the misunderstandings about their multi lingual labelling of their crayons. I remember a person from the West having a giant tantrum about an online stores url, "BiginJap" ranting about the fact that the "Jap" part, even though the store using it Big in Japan, is a literal japanese store, from Japan, selling Japanese products. Gypsie is considered a slur across a lot of Europe, if not most of it, I still see people argue that because "it's fine here in the US" they don't have to care about it and can just use it, even if they're not part of that group. Who's in the right here? The Roma and Sinti people or Europe? Or the people using the term in the US? I am not saying you can't criticize the use of these words, but I'm saying that to in a way or some form to consider the intent when they're used. To assume the worst, especially when the person does not share your culture, language, or awareness of your culture shows a degree of ignorance and personal cultural-centrism that just won't work on a global scale. You can say "this is a slur where I am" but whatever that means to anyone not part of your culture, is up to them by the end of the day, especially when it's meaning can wary so much.

--

No, in general, nobody expects anyone to care about anything to do with Australia. That's partly why people are irritated about this one: the difference between what everyone is expected to know about the US vs. Australia.

[webanglikethat]

do you love me and why

yes yes and yes. I know this is probably a joke question but I’m gonna answer it seriously 🗣️ it’s loving your friends time 🗣️

I love you because since the first moment we’ve met, you’ve been sooo incredibly nice and welcoming to me. and I mean, you know me and my overthinking issues 😭 I was sooo anxious about joining the server and I was afraid of not fitting in and coming across as weird or quiet or whatever — and you just were always making me feel included. and you didn’t just make me feel included; you made me feel seen. you went out of your way to make sure I was comfortable and that I felt like I belonged, even when I was too shy to fully express myself. it’s not something everyone does, and it’s definitely not something I’ll ever take for granted. and I don’t think you even realize what you did. it was in the small things; in thinking of me when people talked about KFS, in mentioning my name when I wasn’t around, in asking “hey, has anyone seen JB today?”, in sending me funny memes and just checking up on me <3 it all means so much to me 🫶🏽

I love how we grew closer over time very naturally. you were definitely one of the people I wanted to be friends with so badly 😭 I still remember our first interaction !! it was me retweeting your post about starting a Mikael church and I just remember being like “okay okay so this is my plan, this is how we are gonna become friends” 😭 it sounds silly now, but I remember putting sooo much thought into how I could talk to you more. like you know when you see someone and just want to be their friend? that was me 😭 you just had this energy about you and I knew I wanted to get to know you (and you know me, I am so shy 😭). looking back, it’s funny how nervous I was, because you turned out to be even more incredible than I imagined. oh and I still remember that moment in the server when you casually said, “oh yeah, we are friends.” I don’t think you even realized how much that meant to me at the time and I was just sitting there like, “!!! We ARE friends!” 😭😭😭 I was so ridiculously happy in that moment <3

vee you just are such an incredible friend. I love talking to you and our easy banter and how I can always count on you. you’re also an amazing writer and I can’t wait for you to write more and to be able to read that !!! you’re so thoughtful and you’re so patient with me and my tendencies to disappear 💀 in my defense ! I get tired easily okay 😞 and you never make me feel guilty for that, which I appreciate SO much. and you always have my back too. you’re literally a ride or die 🥹🫶🏽 I love you so much for that

I hope 2025 is treating you kindly and if it's not, I might need to start a fight tbh. I want you to just now that I'm here for you. whether you need a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear to pour out your heart onto, or simply someone to sit in silence with, I'll be here !!! you're working extremely hard so don't forget to eat your meals and get enough rest okay? we love a smart queen 💅

no homo tho

unless