#i'm posting these all out of order

[sonnet-of-skalitz]

The Whole World Turns Around Henry (Part IV)

(Henry and women, through Hans Capon's eyes. Just what is it about that blacksmith’s son that drives the noblewomen mad with lust...?)

Hans found Henry in the Ruthard manor courtyard, where he’d expected, feeding that grey mare of his an apple and crooning sweetly at her with his free hand in her mane. She looked freshly groomed, no doubt by Henry’s own hand—didn’t the poor fool know he could browbeat any servant in the palace into doing that kind of dirty work for him now?

The sight made Hans inexplicably sour. When was someone going to feed him an apple and sing him a sweet song while they ran their fingers through his hair? Fuck, it had been too long since he’d visited a bathhouse—a real one, with actual walls, and pretty wenches who’d do anything for a flattering word from the future Lord of Rattay.

“So!” Hans clapped his hands, startling the horse and drawing a disapproving frown from Henry—which he handily ignored. “I hear you and the fair Lady Rosa had quite the adventure. To hear her tell it, the two of you laid siege to this place, fighting back-to-back against the occupying horde.”

“Well, I did have to kill some looters.” Henry responded to his ribbing with a simple sincerity. “Hardly a horde.”

“Ah, well, there you go,” Hans spread his arms. “Perhaps sweet Rosa has been reading too many of those adventurous books of hers and fancied herself the hero. Poor thing.”

“Oh, no, she did help me,” Henry said. “She shot one of them with a crossbow all the way from the window. It was quite impressive.”

“Hm.” Hans’s teasing smile fell away for a moment before lifting right back up. “And then the two of you spent the night together—Henry, you devil.”

Apple all gone, Henry gave the old nag one last pat on the neck and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Nothing happened,” he said.

“Oh, come now.” Hans waved him off. “I understand protecting a lady’s honour from the likes of Dry Devil and those other louts—but you can be honest with your liege lord.”

“Radzig’s my liege lord,” Henry reminded him.

“Well, if you’re going to be all proper about it.” Hans scoffed, though he felt a little chastened. It was so easy to forget that Henry had never officially sworn himself into Hans’s service—more that he had been badgered into it by circumstance and the unstoppable force that was Hans’s uncle.

Was it… Had Hans been naïve all this time, to believe that Henry would choose to remain thus, when given the opportunity to leave? Why had he never given a thought to that?

Feeling sourer than ever, Hans returned to the matter at hand and pressed, “Come on, Hal—the two of you, all alone in this big, lonely castle. You, the gallant protector. Her, the grateful maiden. One bed in a cold room. We both know how this bawdy tale goes.”

“You’re wrong.” Henry shook his head, taking some oil and applying it to his saddle. “I slept in the servants’ quarters.”

Hans peered in close. Bloody hell, but the poor bastard wasn’t lying—truly, nothing had happened.

Feeling suddenly light as a feather, Hans let out a giddy laugh and clapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, well—chin up, my good fellow. It can’t be the first time you’ve met a woman impervious to your rustic charms.”

“Oh, no—I got the feeling she would’ve gone for it, had I kissed her,” Henry said simply—and from anyone else it would be the most boorish of boasts. From him, though, it sounded frustratingly earnest. “But I didn’t, and she didn’t. So, we didn’t.”

He topped it with a little shrug. Hans wanted to strangle him.

“Christ, that sea monster between your legs is wasted on you,” he said, instead. “Might as well be a eunuch.”

Henry scoffed, though he did so through a smile, and kept working the leather. Hans lingered.

Chewing on a thought, he eventually ventured, “You know that you could trust me, to keep your confidence—if you had bedded a noble lady, no matter how high above your station. Even should the matter produce… consequences. I would not betray you—I’d only hope you’d trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

Hands ceasing their work, Henry looked at him. “What are you getting at?”

“Word is Lady Stephanie of Talmberg is with child,” Hans said.

“Aye.” Henry squinted at him, crossing his arms. “So I’d heard.”

“Anyone with half the sense they were born with—including Divish, himself—knows her husband can’t possibly be the father.” Hans watched him closely.

Henry shrugged. “I don’t see why he couldn’t be.”

“Oh, come off it!” Hans sputtered. “The man’s 8,000 years old!”

 “Stranger things have happened.”

“Why so stiff, hm?” Hans needled him. “Does the topic make you uncomfortable?”

“It does, if you must know.” Henry was frowning now—a real frown, not just the way his face always looked. “Sir Divish has been very kind to me. I don’t enjoy talking about him in this way.”

“His wife was very kind to you too, as I heard it.” Hans refused to let it go. “Gave you lots of… personal attention.”

“I was an injured lad who’d just lost his home,” Henry said through gritted teeth. “She felt pity for me. And, aye, she was lonely.”

“Lonely, eh?” Hans smirked, though there was a roiling in his gut. Well, if that didn’t cinch it. “Look, you might as well know—I’m not the only one talking about this. You’re at the top of a lot of people’s list of suspects.”

“Look, maybe she—” Henry stopped himself and rethought whatever he was about to say. “Whatever Lady Stephanie felt, or wanted, or any of that—it doesn’t matter. I am telling you, the child isn’t mine.”

Hans’s reply was cut off as Henry faced him squarely and took his shoulders in those strong blacksmith’s hands of his.

“Hans,” he said, squeezing, looking him in the eye. “I never touched her.”

Hans found himself swallowing, throat strangely dry. With a nod, he acquiesced, “Alright, Henry. I believe you.”

Slumping a little in relief, Henry gave Hans’s shoulders a pat before releasing them. He smiled, and Hans found himself smiling, too. Business concluded, there was really no reason to dawdle in the courtyard. Hans unhurriedly began to peel himself away.

“Can I really trust you?” Henry’s words stopped him just as he had turned his back. “Would you keep my confidence?”

“Of course,” Hans said, spinning back to face him with sincerity. “Always.”

Henry, who had himself turned back to oiling tack, spoke with his expression hidden from Hans. “There was someone. A noble lady I took to bed. Shagged her good and proper, I did. We went all night.”

“Who was it?” Hans asked, breath caught in his throat.

Slowly, Henry turned his face so Hans could see the serious set of his brow and jaw as he confessed, “Your mum.”

There was a beat of silence. Henry’s lips quirked up just the tiniest bit as Hans let out a howl and grabbed him by the hair.

“You impudent little arsehole!” They both laughed as Hans tugged his head. “You’re so revolting, Henry! I should have you stripped naked and flogged!”

“Like mother like son, eh?” Henry only brayed harder as Hans sputtered and pulled him rougher. “Oof! Ow, you’re not as tender as your mother, that’s for sure.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Hans managed through breathless laughter. “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re a madman. What if I said I’d had your mother, hm? You’d cry!”

“Ah, what would my mother want with that skinny noble arse?” Henry tried to pry Hans’s fingers loose, then gave up. “She likes beef, not chicken—agh!”

It felt good—Hans knew Henry felt it, too. To laugh. To use the present tense. To smile around the word ‘mother’ once again.

When they both eventually came in from the courtyard, no one even bothered to ask why Henry’s hair had been half pulled out and Hans was wearing a grin that simply wouldn’t shift. Lady Rosa was the only one to spare them more than a glance, her gaze lingering on the ruddy cheer on Henry’s cheeks.

There, you see? She missed the smug look Hans sent her in turn. I suppose you weren’t that good a shot, after all.

[starscreamingg]

Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective

[soveryanon]

What about eating your own beanie, Mr Clown.

EAT YOUR OWN BEANIE

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

"contentment in singleness" doesn't require you to stop desiring marriage & family. it doesn't require you to stop pursuing marriage & family.

Christians are called to be content in any situation--that doesn't mean we abandon all our good desires and concrete goals.

contentment is to trust/rest in God's promises to love you, provide for you, and make you holy.

you can do all of those things, and earnestly want and seek a husband.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

"Favor from the Lord" meaning, of course, blessing as the result of a life molded by wisdom.

Now, how can one find a good wife without seeking? Seek without wanting? And how can wisdom and contentment be mutually exclusive?

[shopwitchvamp]

So as gauche as it's gonna be, I'm gonna be back to posting & boosting preorders despite everything :[ Like especially because I have all these amazing guest artists who put their hard work into designing for this set & have entrusted me with their artwork.. I don't want to let them down by having the collection fall flat. I wish I'd chosen different timing for these preorders but unfortunately there wasn't realistically any other time that would work since we'll be moving early next year. I hope you'll all understand that I've gotta keep trying to push forward. Thanks as always for your support, everyone 🖤

[cuubism]

saw this art of fem jayce at the forge and i was like possessed to write fem jayvik. help

-

Vik doesn't usually go to find Jayce at the forge. Besides the fact that it's quite a walk from the Academy, she considers it to be Jayce's safe space. She doesn't want to intrude.

But today, three hours have elapsed since they were supposed to meet, and Vik is getting a little worried. So she's intruding.

She can hear the clanging of hammer on metal as she approaches, can feel the heat of the forge, and steps through the doorway, curious. Jayce's back is to her as she works on something that clearly requires a lot of brute strength if the way she's going at it with her hammer is any indication, and she doesn't hear Vik come in over the sound of the clanging metal. It gives Vik a moment to just... look. And what a sight.

It's not at all that Jayce doesn't look attractive normally. At work, in the lab, she looks lovely, very smart, very professional. She wears the Academy uniform well. She looks beautiful at galas. Her dresses flatter her figure, her makeup is impeccable. It just... it doesn't do anything for Vik beyond a surface level appreciation. She'd started to think her physical attraction to Jayce at the start had been fleeting, some kind of fluke.

Now she curses Piltover high society for getting between her and this.

Jayce is a mess--but what a mess. She's only wearing a thin tank top instead of her usual long sleeves and layers, and is sweating through it, the strong muscles of her shoulders and back on display. Has she always had muscles like that, and just hidden them? By Janna. Her hair is coming out of its ponytail, falling around her face in flyaway strands, sticking to her neck and her temples, and the bit of her profile Vik can see suggests she's not wearing any makeup, presumably because it would just smear off.

Jayce brings the hammer down again on whatever she's hitting, arms flexing, and Vik starts sweating, not just from the heat of the forge.

She waits until Jayce has put the hammer down to speak, lest she startle her into dropping it on her foot or something. "Jayce."

Jayce whirls around, and then does almost drop the piece of hot metal she was working on, which she's holding in a pair of tongs. Fortunately she recovers in time. "Vik! What are you-- shit, am I insanely late?"

"Yes. But it doesn't matter." Vik walks closer. Jayce looks sort of nervous, caught out, though Vik can't imagine why. "What are you working on?"

Jayce gestures with the piece of twisted metal. "This is just scrap. I just... needed to get some energy out." She sets the tongs and metal aside, pulls off her gloves and puts them aside too. "I can meet you, I know we were supposed to go over the proposal-- just give me a few minutes to change and--"

Vik is close enough to touch her now. Possessed by the way the light of the forge is gleaming on Jayce's skin, she does, pressing a fingertip to Jayce's arm. The muscle is incredible. She feels all shivery in a way she normally doesn't just seeing Jayce at fancy events, much as she might appreciate her beauty.

"Vik," Jayce says, strangled. "Seriously. Just. Half an hour. I'm a mess."

"I don't mind," Vik says. It's possible it comes out a little bit like a purr. She's been half -- more than half -- in love with Jayce for a long time but this, this raw appreciation, this is new. Jayce is sweating so much from her exertion that Vik can see the outline of her nipples through her shirt. She kind of wants to put her mouth on one, or just plant her face between Jayce's tits. Oh, dear.

Jayce gives a hysterical, terrified sort of laugh. "What?"

Finally Vik manages to look up from her chest and into Jayce's eyes. She looks... sort of nervous. Almost scared.

Vik takes a step back. "I'm... sorry. I am making you uncomfortable."

"No- no!" Jayce follows her, hands hovering around Vik's shoulders. "I just. You never--? And now--?"

"Please, breathe," Vik says, and Jayce takes a shuddering breath.

"I didn't think you liked me like that," she says. "And, I mean, now? Of all times? I'm not-- I'm not dressed, I'm a total mess, I need to shower and-- this can't possibly be what you want, at least let me, like, try--"

"Jayce." Vik really hates Piltover sometimes. She's also having Realizations. "Do you like wearing makeup?"

"What?"

"Do you," Vik repeats. "Like. Wearing makeup."

Jayce pushes her wet hair back from her face, looking bewildered. "I. No? What does that have to do with anything?"

Vik touches her arm again, trails her fingers up and over Jayce's shoulder, up her neck, to cradle her cheek in one hand. "It has to do with the way you've been dressing yourself in their colors and I much prefer you dressed in your own." She presses her thumb to Jayce's lower lip. "And comfortable."

She looks like herself now. Not clothed in the finery that suits Piltover's idea of respectability. Or womanhood.

"So you're saying..."

Vik leans up to press her lips to the corner of Jayce's mouth. Jayce, unhelpfully, seems too stunned to lean down and help her out. "I want you."

"Like this?"

"Mmhmm. Don't let them get in your head. You look incredibly hot."

"Okay?" She still seems bewildered, but rests her hands on Vik's hips. "If you say so, I believe you." She ducks her head, nosing along Vik's ear. "You were the one I really wanted to be looking, anyway."

"I am looking." She ought to have come to the forge sooner. "Have you finished your hammering? Would you perhaps like to get out your energy in another way?"

"Vik." When Vik looks up at her, Jayce is blushing, the slight darkening of her cheeks visible even in the warm light of the forge. "Am I at least allowed to shower first?"

"Do you absolutely have to?"

Jayce presses her lips to her cheek. The heat of her body sways in close to Vik, and Vik shudders. "You could come with me if you want?"

Vik hums. "I think I can accept this compromise."

"Alright. We'll go, then." She steps back, offering Vik her arm to lean on. Vik takes it.

Jayce looks surprised. "Normally you don't want my help."

"Don't be fooled. I'm feeling you up."

Jayce laughs. "Oh, okay. Go ahead, then."

Her forearm is, indeed, very muscular and nice to hold. Normally Jayce covers up so much. Vik wonders if she can convince her to start wearing backless dresses at events...

"You're not just trying to flatter me, are you?" Jayce says as they leave the heat of the forge and step out into the hall, a hint of insecurity in her voice. "You actually like me like this?"

"When have I ever flattered?" Vik asks. "I think you should dress like this, how you like, more often." Then she considers. "On second thought, don't. Someone will steal you."

Jayce laughs. "I doubt that." She seems pleased by the comment, though.

"Either way, I want you to myself." She presses her cheek to Jayce's arm, nearly overbalancing herself, but it's okay. It's nice anyway.

"You've always had me to yourself," Jayce says.

And Vik can't deny that she likes the sound of that.

[karleksmumskladdkaka]

Diabolik Lovers Dark Fate Vol. 3 Chapter of the Last Quarter — Short Story Translation

A short, sweet, and comedic tale about the Mukami brothers being supportive siblings… and nearly committing accidental fratricide in the process. Meanwhile, Yui watches with increasing concern as the disaster unfolds.

Please refrain from using or reposting the translation anywhere without my permission.

[Note: The story is written in Yui's POV.]

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅✮⋆⋅

"Uh...something's wrong..."

Kou-kun groaned as he stared down at the pot.

"Should I help after all?"

"Eve, you mustn't get involved...okay? Just quietly watch over us."

Even though he said that, an increasingly terrible smell was spreading throughout the kitchen. Despite being told not to interfere, I was starting to get a bit worried.

"Maybe it needs some sugar-chan!?"

"Ah!!"

Before I could stop him, Yuma-kun dumped several sugar cubes into the pot, filling the room with a foul stench. I felt a sense of despair.

The whole mess had started when Ruki-kun injured his hand.

"Ruki-kun always cooks for us, so let's all pitch in today!"

And so, Kou-kun's plan of making dinner ended up as disastrously as I had feared.

"...This is...?"

"Well... It's supposed to be curry..."

Kou-kun glanced at me as if pleading for help. When I looked at Yuma-kun and Azusa-kun, they averted their eyes. In short, something horrible had been created. Its color was... to put it nicely, pitch black. After tasting it, Yuma-kun commented nonsensically that it was "bittersweetsalty". Dubbed "Mukami Brothers' Style Curry" it had transformed into a mysterious substance resembling anything but curry. Just by looking at it, anyone would instantly recognize it as inedible.

Yet, Ruki-kun was peering at the plates lined up on the table with a happy look on his face.

"Maybe it's better if we don't eat this..."

In spite of Kou-kun's uneasiness, Ruki-kun scooped up the substance with a spoon and brought it to his mouth.

". . ."

"It's disgusting."

We all shared the same fear. That even though he's immortal, Ruki-kun might die from this.

Despite his words, Ruki-kun's expression suddenly relaxed. We stared at him in amazement.

"R-Ruki-kun...!!"

"Ruki..."

"Ruki...! Damn it! Yer such a...!"

The three brothers, seemingly drained, collapsed to their knees on the spot. Ruki-kun simply watched them in silence as he continued to eat.

And then, afterwards—Ruki-kun was bedridden for three days and nights. Even though Vampires aren't supposed to get sick...

Seeing this, his brothers made a firm vow to themselves. They would never try to cook again.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅✮⋆⋅

[raziiyah]

i liked how this scene explicitly acknowledged how tiny randall really is

[sparkling12]

Some of the fun random art/renders of daisy I took from the wiki (part 2 [final part])

[cartoonjessie]

More selfies of (actual 16-year-old) Vladislav the Poker (What we do in the shadows - 2014 - dir. by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi)

[shrimp-stuff]

if anyone were to have a copy of golden terrace volume 2 and is willing to sell it, I would gladly swim an entire ocean, scale the tallest mountain on my hands and knees, cross a desert of hellfire and pestilence, if only to arrive at your door, wallet wide open, to purchase it from you

[arahabakix]

''i think we can get along for sure if i did that...'

@animangacreators challenge five: favourite otp

↳ sanemi & giyuu from kimetsu no yaiba;

[juustozzi]

soccer club shenanigans! also, don't mind the alt uniforms, these were drawn while I was writing and while they're not exactly fic art they share the vibe

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

Truly wish mangahood fans would just tell first time Brotherhood watchers to read the manga first to get all the context they need to make Brotherhood suck 1% less, instead of suggesting the broke-ass, tired "watch 03 until it diverges" nonsense.

These continuities do not line up. They do not click into each other. The characters in 03 are fundamentally different from mangahood, the events of fma 03 from episode 1 are fundamentally different to !the manga! let alone to Brotherhood. The way alchemy itself works is fundamentally different and that's pretty obvious when you compare mangahood and 03! So how are you going to funnel newbies into mangahood by feeding them half of 03?

I know we're all hoping new fans are as incapable of engaging with what they're actually watching as most existing fma fans, but it would make far more sense to prepare them by having them actually read the source material that Brotherhood is actually adapting, not an anime that Brotherhood has nothing to do with.

[shaylogic]

Wait is Edwin actually scared of other ghosts?