#i'm not sure if anyone will want to do this but if we're in the mood for some low stakes gifting between friends?

[ts-janus-rp-blog]

Remus chuckled at hearing that squeal. He washed the rest of his legs, then he stood back up so he could pull Emile into a deep kiss. "Dammit, when you make that noise I just wanna fuck your brains out. I love it when you make that noise so much." He blushed, "I'm not nearly as wonderful as you are, ems."

"Got it. I'll get it arranged in no time. Oh, it definitely will! So many people across the world will be willing to pay big bucks for those videos, that's for sure!" The man shrugged, "You can do whatever you want, that's just my cup of tea..." He suddenly chuckled, "Or should I say, my cup of coffee?" He lifted up his coffee cup.

"I know if I do anything like that to Roman you'll have my neck for it. I'm not willing to sign my death wish just yet. And don't worry, I'll make sure it's just me doing the procedures. There won't be anyone else in the area." He snorted, "I just know to not act stupid. Most people don't think before acting, but I do." He nodded, "Thank you though, sir. Thank you for trusting me." Then he thought about it for a moment, "Would it be possible if I can do the exams tonight, by any chance? The only reason why I ask is that I just know I'm going to be busy dealing with Remy and Remus. I would rather get it done and other with, you know?"

His eyes light up when Virgil reconsiders, a sickening grin spread across his cheeks. "Well, I can tell you right off the bat that it's going to be extreme. Very extreme. But I'll do it your way, with just bondage. But thank you, I'll do it to one of the mutts that are brain dead. It's not like we're going to miss one of them, right? If the hypnosis doesn't work, there are other methods I can try that's not...extensive. but I understand, that's what I want to avoid too. Mhm..." He chuckled, "I would love to send a video to Remus of the men having fun with his mutt. That'll scare him for good, won't you think?" He smirked, "Actually, I can do that without waiting to see if anything works... I could test the hypnosis on him afterwards too, to make him forget it even happened."

Patton knocked desperately at the strangers door, praying someone, anyone was home. His heart beat as fast and loud as the rain thundering against the sidewalk. He was sure he was being followed, they were going to catch him. They were going to drag him back. He wasn't sure if whoever lived here might be worse, but he was willing to risk it at this point. Anything to escape.

{@moralpuppylover2}

Janus didn't know who would be at the door. It was late, but his master won't surely be home at this time. He normally doesn't get home until the sun starts to come up.

So, as the dog hybrid walked up to the door and opened it, he wondered who it could be. And if he should open it at all... Who knows, he may get in trouble with his master for opening the door. But, his curiosity was getting the better of him-

He stopped when he saw the soaking wet cat standing at the doorway. He could tell that this cat needed help almost immediately. Well, if his poor state of clothes were anything to go by. His eyes flickered up and down the sidewalk before he grabbed pattons arm and pulled him inside.

"are you alright?" Janus nervously asked as he grabbed a towel from the mud room. "Well, that's a stupid question, of course you're not alright! Are you...running away from your owners?" As Janus walked, the collar around his neck would jingle loudly. And even though it was cold outside and even in the house, he only had a pair of boxers on. Because of that, Patton would be able to see the numerous large scars that covered his body...and the countless amounts of fresh bruises.

@moralpuppylover2

[genderqueerdykes]

On the topic of reproductive rights:

I don't want to assume it's in bad faith but every time I remind people of transmascs when it comes to talks of reproductive rights the reactions are either:

- People immediately making jokes (it's not mpreg for fuck's sake, you're not funny read the room)

- People being openly transphobic "I'm not talking about men right now, this is about WOMEN"

Or they go "Oh yeah! Trans men can totally get pregnant too! Anyways-" and then continue to only speak of women, to not acknowledge the violence and dehumanization transmascs face when pregnant, to forget that we're affected by abortion bans too.

It's all either ignorant hostile or horribly performative.

YEP. if you want my brutally honest opinion you should not have to try to take someone who is mocking you in good faith. fuck that shit, trans men & the concept of men being pregnant isn't funny. i don't get the joke. like where is the joke, i can't find it. it's a fact. it's reality.

It's all either ignorant hostile or horribly performative.

sure the hell is, and sometimes it's both at once. who is that helping? it's not giving cis women access to safe abortions to silence the trans men who need them, too. it's not helping further the fight for reproductive health rights. it's not ACTUALLY helping ANYONE to shut down trans men in these conversations. why do people think that shutting trans men up will somehow benefit women? i can't wrap my head around this one. it's the most petty "girls rule boys drool" crap i've ever seen in my life.

trans men and mascs ALSO HAVE RIGHTS!!!!!! stop denying them their fucking rights, they're the same goddamn species as you for christ's sake! they are no less deserving of basic fucking reproductive healthcare! i don't care how much you hate them they are still people who deserve care!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Reading Visser One’s book she always strikes me as one of those white women settlers that wanted to “save” Native Children from their culture.

This led to the Stolen Generation in Australia and residential schools in North America.

Heck when we see her in the series she is literally piloting a women of color’s body and cosplaying motherhood.

She thinks she is so much better then the colonist that want to just burn up villages.

She’s a white women liberal putting on a gentler face to what is at its end brutal colonialism.

It’s worth noting that alien invasions have been metaphors for colonization since War of the Worlds

I completely agree. There's a blog post I can't now find about older white women reacting to The Help by talking about how their housekeepers, nannies, cooks, etc. were "part of the family." Which — first of all, no. Your employee is your employee. The rights and respect you owe to your employee will always be different from those you owe to your family. Do not devalue their work, and thus the traditional work of women, by pretending that it isn't labor. But secondly...

"We're friends" or "we're family" sure is easy to say from a position of power. Anyone short on power but long on common sense understands the importance of ingratiating yourself to those in charge. Anyone in charge can choose to delude themself that this time when the kid goes "I love you, Miss Hannigan" they mean it. Such is the nature of power.

Like, one I think about all the time: my professor whom we called Professor Trelawney behind her back because she would constantly spout pseudoscience in class. She's not the least favorite teacher I've ever had, but she's on the short list — and on the day I graduated, she introduced herself to a family member as "Sol's one of my favorite students, and I'm probably Sol's favorite teacher." Why? Because I got her to think that. Why'd I do so? Because the semester before, Dr. W had knocked down my grade for "irrelevant discussion" after I argued with his statement that Ireland should still be ruled by England. I keep Dr. W, and the subsequent effect on Prof Trelawney, as my touchstone when I'm handling student conflict. Because. Such. Is the nature. Of power.

As people pointed out after watching Crash: any rich lady can hug her housekeeper any time she's feeling sad, and the worst the housekeeper can do is quit. Most housekeepers with any grasp of social norms wouldn't hug even their favorite boss even on her worst day, at least not without first getting explicit permission. Such is the nature of power.

And these are all softer examples, of positions that you have the legal right to walk away from. (Whether or not you can afford to quit your job is obviously a whole other ballgame.) When it's not just school or work, but it's your guardian or the person who literally owns you... Fuck. Kiss ass or die, I guess.

And if you want concessions, you'd better put in all the emotional work to get them. You have to be sad about being less powerful than the help-giver, but not too sad. You have to be completely helpless in the face of random misfortune, or else you don't deserve help. You have to be grateful when the help arrives, in such a way that makes it clear the helper mad your problem all better but that your problem was completely intractable without their intervention. Most of all, you better do it with a smile: I love you, Miss Hannigan.

[erysser]

THANOS [PLAYER 230] WITH AN ANOREXIC PARTNER

-> pairings : choi su bong [Thanos] x reader

-> a/n : thank you so much for the request @vennxu ! I'm not that knowledgeable about eating disorders so I hope I did this justice

-> | thanos - 🎤 |

Thanos is definitely oblivious at first

He chalks up your lack of eating and frequent runs to the bathroom to nerves.

You were all in a life or death situation, so it was only natural to not have an appetite or to have to relieve yourself a lot!

Yet, he started to get suspicious after the second game after Se-mi and Nam-gyu mentioned it to him

It was dinner time and Thanos noticed that you weren't eating a lot, giving more than half your portion to Min-su

"Hey, aren't you hungry, senorita? You keep giving your portions of food to Min-su! You need to eat more if we're going to win that money!" - 🎤

You smiled politely at him, saying thay you just weren't hungry after witnessing all that death

He just frowns, asking Min-su to give back the portion of food he had received from you.

He was practically watching you like a hawk as you ate, his eyes never leaving you until you finished your portion.

His grin was so wide when he saw your empty food box.

"See! There you are finishing all the food! The food's good right? With you on full energy, we'll 100% win the next game!" - 🎤

You sorta laugh awkwardly at him, unsure of what to say.

Thanos could sense something was wrong but he continued to smile as you reassured him that everything was fine.

Usually during lights out, you would head to the bathroom to purge out everything you had eaten for the day.

It was quiet, and empty. No one would've suspected anything.

So, as usual, you quickly slept out of bed, walking quietly towards the door to do your nightly ritual.

You barely even noticed the purple-haired man that watched and stalked you all the way to the toilet.

He noticed you had been doing that every single night.

He was a light sleeper and after vehemently deciding that he wanted to sleep next to you, he started to noticed your nightly bathroom runs.

He waited outside the bathroom for a while, but after maybe 10 minutes pass by and you hadn't emerged, he went in.

He opened the bathroom door slowly, creeping his way in, as he tried to find you. His eyes widen at the sound and smell.

Without thinking, he rushed forwards to the source of the smell and threw the stall door open to see you hunched over the toilet, vomiting.

He immediately rushes to you, questions of are you sick, are you okay, escaping his mouth as he holds your face looking at you. You don't answer him as you look away.

His eyebrows furrow as he notices your index finger that was vomit covered. Were you purposely trying to make yourself vomit?

It all clicked in his head.

He wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't used to comforting or even helping people so he just sat there with you on the bathroom floor, holding you as he whispered praises and compliments in your ear hoping to let your insecurities subside and let the truth prevail.

After that incident, he always tries to make you feel comfortable.

Having been in the music industry, he knows some popstars do what you do to stay skinny and he knew that they needed patience and time.

He wouldn't force you to eat but he'd definitely encourage you a lot!

He immediately tells off anyone who talks bad about your body and sings praises and compliments to you.

He also definitely moved from sleeping in the bed next to you to sleeping in your bed.

At night, he holds you tightly, so tightly that he knows you won't be able to go to the bathroom at night.

Even if you want to, he'll either go or force Se-mi awake to accompany you because "it's not safe to be here alone"

Either way, Thanos is definitely a bit clueless about what to do but he tries his best, and if he wins, he plans to segregate a bit of the prize money to get you some help.

[hurricane105]

Thanks for the tag @drsteggy! I love playing games like this

Last song: I don't listen to much music (lately it's been all audiobooks and podcasts) but I think the last song I listened to was Jonathan Young's cover of Through the Fire and Flames

Favorite color: a really light turquoise/icy blue color. Think Rosalina's dress (from Mario Galaxy)

Last book/fic: currently listening to Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett. It's a comfort reread (the whole discworld series is), and I desperately need something comforting

Last movie: I rarely watch movies but I think the last one I watched was one of the Futurama movies - Into the Wild Green Yonder, maybe?

Last show: probably Futurama, although if we're counting podcasts I've been bingeing Roxanne Richardson's Casual Friday podcast. She's so calm but so knowledgeable about knitting, I swear I learn something every time she posts an episode

Sweet/spicy/savory: toss up between sweet and savory depending on my mood

Relationship: married with a kid

Last thing I googled: I checked the title of the Futurama movie to be sure I had it right, but before that it was how to do a long tail cast on

Current obsession: knitting, which was rather a surprise. I think it's because I can knit and listen to audiobooks or podcasts at the same time

Looking forward to: I'm getting a haircut tomorrow, and it'll be really nice to have my preferred cut back in (I got a trim a few weeks ago to cut off the crispy ends but it's not a ~style~)

No pressure tags: @demiboydemon @summonerluna @uwudonoodle and anyone else who wants to play!

10 people I’d like to get to know better

10 people I’d like to get to know better

Since I had two separate tags in this, @spaceyjessa and @laughhardrunfastbekindsblog I decided I would make a separate post.

Last song:  with lyrics: Beautiful Boy by The Last Dinner Party (I found out about this band like two weeks ago and now I’m going through a phase I’m obsessed)

Without lyrics: I am ready by Kevin Kiner & Sean Kiner: from the bad batch season three soundtrack. Been listening to it a lot lately, as it feels pretty prevalent to the time of my life that I’m at

Favourite color: light pinks and baby blues

Last book/fic: the last book I finished was defy the storm, by Tessa Gratton (I’m getting closer and closer to being caught up on THR)

Fic: Mace Windu fixes the timeline (You should read it, it’s wonderful) 

Last movie: the rise of Skywalker (yes, I love the sequel trilogy and what about it 💅)

Last show: the bad batch... I’m re-watching, again... how predictable 🙄

Sweet/spicy/savory: I have a big sweet tooth, especially when it comes to chocolate

Relationship: single real life, but in love with countless fictional characters inside my head🤩

Last thing I googled: what does the quest cookies and cream protein bar taste like? (look, I have arfid. I can’t just buy new things to try without knowing exactly what I’m getting into first)

Current obsession: Star Wars, duh! Specifically clones and TBB, the Mandalorian and the high republic

I look forward to telling you: that if you’re reading this you’re wonderful

No pressure tags (and I’m sorry if you’re being tagged again)  @clonethirstingisreal @eobe @dystopicjumpsuit @sunshinesdaydream and anyone else who would like to.

[myth1cs]

Our Love is Pure (Yu Ji-min (Karina) x M!Reader)

Hey its been a while huh? Anyways here's Karina smut

Word Count: 2,473

"So, the final question for you two. Both of you are lovers in "Crime Scene Season 2" but the fans are dying to know what you guys are to each other off screen. Are you guys friends, just coworkers, or dating?"

"We are ... very close." Karina responded. She made it a point to respond that way. After all both of you were told to act romantically in front of the media by your boss. Many people liked to speculate whether you and Karina were dating off screen and rather than deny it you guys were told to just "entertain" the idea without actually confirming anything.

"Alright well that concludes the interview. Thank you both for taking time out of your day to come out. And remember to catch the season finale of "Crime Scene Season 2" at 3pm Thursday."

"And cut!"

"Phew well I think that went well. Again I want to thank you both for agreeing to come to this interview. Make sure to travel safely okay?"

"We will."

After the interview ended you and Karina made your way out of the building to a company car. Once you both got in the driver started to drive.

"I think that went well Y/N."

"I'm exhausted Karina I don't think I can do a fan meeting after this. And this makeup is irritating my skin."

Being an actor wasn't easy for you. This was your first big production where you got to be one of the main leads and of course the show became a hit. You thought it was cool at first, many people would get excited seeing you, people took photos with you, and there were many positive comments on social media about you. It was all something that you loved at first.

However it didn't take long for you to get annoyed by all the attention you were getting. You couldn't go out shopping anymore without going out in disguise and as the show became ever more popular the more obligations you had to do as promotion for the show. Karina wasn't new to acting and she often tried to take care of you.

Karina pulled out a makeup remover wipe out of her purse and started to lightly remove some of your makeup on your face.

"If anyone asks I didn't remove part of your makeup."

"Thank you Karina. And don't worry my lips are sealed."

As Karina started to remove some of the makeup off your face you felt butterflies on your stomach. You knew that you shouldn't, you were an actor and being in a relationship was prohibited. But you couldn't help yourself. Remembering those times when you and Karina shared a kiss on camera for the first time made your cock throb a bit. She was really everything you could ever want in a woman. From her personality to her figure everything was just perfect.

The more days of filming that went by it got harder to keep up this "Pure" feeling of love with her.

"Guys we're here."

Both of you arrived at the fan meeting event. Security led you both to a back entrance and you started to change clothes before going out to the fan meeting event.

You got to meet many people from many ages. While you were tired you tried to keep up a happy mood for your fans.

Everything was going fine until a fan asked a certain question.

"Y/N are you dating anyone?"

Before you could respond with something cliche like "My fans are my boyfriend/girlfriend." Karina got up from her seat, made her way to you, and wrapped her arms around you.

"Well I don't think Y/N is currently looking for love. If he was then I think I would know right Y/N?"

She squeezed you tighter and rested her chin on your neck. Of course this got people riled up.

-

After the event was over both you and Karina were taken to an apartment. Since you both had to attend a variety show the next day the company decided it would be best to keep you two together instead of separating you two and needing two different drivers to take you both to the same location.

Both of you started to clean up and get ready to go to bed. You and Karina took off the makeup the stylists had put on and then took turns using the shower.

Now both of you were relaxing in the living room on your phones with the T.V playing some cooking show for background noise.

A few gossip articles were written about this situation already and it hasn't even been 24 hours.

"Y/N you have to hear about this title it's called "Y/N and Karina are dating?! New breaking information!" It's stupid right? I act a little clingy and people act like I proposed to you."

You let out a fake laugh "Yeah ... it's crazy."

Karina put her phone down and made her way over to your side. She put her hand on your shoulder.

"Y/N what's wrong, is the stress getting to you?"

You leaned your head onto Karina's shoulder. She grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to her.

"I just don't know how to feel about something."

"They say that repressing is a bad thing. You should come out and say it. I promise I won't judge you Y/N."

You lifted your head up and looked into the eyes of Karina. You wanted to tell her - your love - but you feared that if you told her and she rejected you then it would make things awkward further on. Besides what if Karina reported you for trying to get in a relationship with her when you were both strictly told that it was off limits.

"I'll tell you one day."

"That's no fun Y/N. Stop trying to deal with everything yourself. We've been actors hanging out with each other for so long now. Are you telling me you don't trust me after everything that we've been through?"

"Jimin-"

"Fine be that way Y/N. If you want something don't come ask me." Karina left the living room and started heading for her room.

"Fuck."

You weren't used to being on bad terms with Karina. In fact you've both have never been on bad terms until now. As much as you wanted to be honest with her, telling her your feeling wasn't an option was it?

Unsure of what to do you went to your own room and laid down on your bed. Twisting and turning thinking about what you should be doing. You pulled out your phone and went through your contacts.

"Mom? no, Mina? She's probably still at work at this hour, Jihyo? she's probably hanging out with her boyfriend, Sana?"

You settled with calling Sana. You knew she was probably sleeping at this hour but you didn't have any other choice. You were desperate for advice.

"H- Hello?"

"Y/N do you have any idea what hour this is?"

"Sana this is personal."

"Just talk to Karina about it."

"It's actually about her."

Sana sighed and you heard her sitting up on her bed.

"What's happened?"

"I've kinda developed feelings for Karina. But I'm worried that she'll report me for it since we're not supposed to be in relationships. Even if she just rejects me then it'll be awkward between us from now on."

"Is that all Y/N?"

"Yeah."

"Okay well she probably feels betrayed that you won't trust her, so you want to know what I'd advise you? You should get your ass up and go tell her your feelings."

"But-"

"I don't know Karina like you do but I know she won't report you for something like this. If she rejects you just go back to being friends. It'll only be awkward if you make it awkward."

Before you had the chance to respond Sana hung up the phone. You tried calling her back but it just went to voicemail.

As much as you didn't want to admit it Sana was right.

You got up and went to Karina's room. You stood outside of her door and put your hand on the handle. After taking a few deep breaths you mustered up the courage to open the door.

To your surprise you didn't see Karina at first. But then you noticed her standing outside on the balcony overlooking the view of the city.

You made your way to the balcony and saw her wearing a pink top with a pink jacket. You noticed she was also drinking some alcohol.

"Jimin what are you doing?"

"Just thinking Y/N."

"Look about earlier-"

"If you don't want to tell me that's fine. I'm over it, I shouldn't overstep your boundaries." Karina said as she took a sip of her alcohol.

"No it's not fine. I owe it to you, besides it related to you."

"It relates to me?"

"Jimin... I- I love you."

Karina's eyes widened. She walked over to you, standing in front of you. Her chest was almost pressed up against yours and you did your best not to look down at them.

"You know I could get you fired over this right? You know you're still a rookie and we're not supposed to be dating right?"

"I- I know."

Karina looked over your body before reaching your face and smiling. She put her hand on your shoulders again.

"For an actor you suck ass at acting you know."

"Wh- what?"

"I can tell you want to look at my breasts. Your not good at hiding it."

"Uhm~"

"Go ahead Y/N touch them."

You weren't sure if it was the alcohol in her system or if she was just naturally this straight forward. Probably a mix of both, but you weren't complaining.

"Shouldn't we go inside?"

"We're at the highest floor Y/N. Nobody can see us up here."

You looked around the surrounding area and realized that the closest building that was actually at a similar height was far away. If you did it up here nobody would know.

Karina dropped her jacket leaving her in her top. She let out a breath and you could smell alcohol from it.

"Did you think I was that butt hurt about you not telling me your "secret"?"

"W- wait did you-"

"Yup."

Karina wrapped her arms around you and pulled you in close to her. Your lips got pressed up against hers. Karina's tongue went into your mouth and her tongue started to rub against yours.

You attempted to take off Karina's top off but before you could do so she pulled away from you.

"Wait Y/N... before I forget to tell you I actually got a message from our director-"

"Jimin, I don't fucking care."

You pulled Karina back on to you and started to kiss her neck. Karina moaned as you started to leave love marks on her. She put her hands under your shirt and started to draw small circles on your stomach.

Her soft chest was pressed against you and it was making you hard. Karina reached her hands down at your erection and started to rub your cock.

"You get so damn pent up over my breasts huh?"

Unable to resist any longer you pushed your face onto Karina's clothed breasts. It made your erection harder and it made Karina smile.

You started to take her top off and got a view of Karina's bare chest. Her pink nipples got hard as they were exposed to the cold air breeze.

"Want something to warm you up Karina?"

She nodded at your comment.

Attaching your mouth to Karina's nipples you alternated from her left to right as you licked and sucked them.

While this was happening Karina was starting to take your pants off. Your hard cock sprung out of its confinement. It was bigger than Karina had imagined it being.

She rubbed your tip which made you start leaking pre-cum. Not letting it go to waste Karina used your pre-cum as a lubricant and got it all over her hand to start to pump your cock.

You started groaning as Karina's hand felt perfect wrapped around your cock. You couldn't help yourself but shove your face deeper on Karina's breasts. As much as you loved her breasts you still had so much more to play with, you reached out for Karina's ass and gave it a firm squeeze making her yelp.

"Agh~"

Karina started to fondle with your balls and your grip on her tightened. Your hands wandered to the waistband of Karina's pants and you started to remove them. Her pants fell to the floor leaving her completely naked outside.

You started to rub her pussy lips and her clit. Both of you trying to make the other cum first.

Since Karina has already been pumping your cock for a while you were the one to ejaculate first. Some of your cum got on Karina's stomach and some dripped onto the floor. You felt bad for the janitor who would have to clean it up later but that wasn't your concern for the moment.

Karina didn't let you cumming stop her. She continued to pump your cock making it hard again. You pushed her hands away and got down to your knees to start licking her pussy. Your tongue being covered in her sweet juices, Karina moaned as your tongue was shoved deeper in her. She was tighter than you thought she'd be but you continued to shove your tongue deeper.

"Y/N I'm going to cum!"

Quickly pulling your tongue out you made her bend over on the railing to the balcony. You shoved your hard cock into Karina's warm pussy. Now you were frantically thrusting in and out so you could cum alongside her.

You reached your hands for Karina's breasts and started to squeeze them. Karina's eyes rolled back loving the feeling you were giving her.

"Imagine if everyone down there could see us. What would they say?"

Karina's pussy tightened as she thought about your words. She felt a rush at the thought that others could see her being fucked and they could do nothing but watch.

"I'd love that."

"Maybe we should ask for us to have a sex scene during our show."

Both of you came not long after. Semen spilled onto the floor but a bit of it was on your cock.

"Let me clean that up for you Y/N."

Karina got onto her knees and started to suck you clean. You almost ejaculated again but you were able to hold yourself back.

After picking up your clothes both of you headed for the shower to get yourselves cleaned up for the variety show the next day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been busy writing smut for another fandom. But I'm finally back.

Starring: You Karina (Aespa)

[bugisastranger]

hey babe 🩷 if you have the time or inspiration to write please consider fake dating to lovers with Clark Kent, like a to all the boys I’ve loved before typa situation

a/n: thank u for the request anon!!! sorry it took me a bit to get around to it - i can be a busy busy gal.

"you want me to what?"

clark's voice is unlike anything you'd ever heard from him, his shock nothing less than apparent. you shush him, looking around the hallway to see if anyone's noticed. it's lucky for you that nobody did.

"come on, clark. it's one night! not even! it's like, a few hours at most."

"can't you ask someone else? pete?"

"i don't want to ask pete. he won't be able to sell it."

"and you think i can?" he's exasperated, leaning closer to you as if he's suddenly aware how many people could overhear this conversation. "i'm a horrible liar."

"please? you know how my family can be," you whisper, looking up at clark. he sighs, hanging his head. he does know how your family can be—overbearing—which is exactly why he's hesitant. but you're you, so how can he actually say no?

"okay. okay, fine."

"really?" you ask, nearly jumping out of your skin. your arms slide around clark's neck as you excitedly let out a few small 'thank you's. clark's still frozen in place from his decision, but forces one of his arms to slide awkwardly around your hip. he's in for it, isn't he?

the ringing of the school bell pulls the two of you apart, and you quickly shut your locker, making your way towards your first class. clark keeps his place beside you. "so, what does this mean, exactly? what do you want from me?"

"jeez, clark, that sounds like i'm holding you hostage. it's just a favor."

"yeah, yeah. whatever. what do you need me to do?" he asks, taking his seat next to you at the lab table.

"i don't know. whatever feels natural," you say, bending to the side to pull your textbook out of your bag, a gesture which clark never would've took a second glance at. but today, with your hair falling in front of your face (and then you pushing it away), something's different. he doesn't even notice he forgot to say something in response to you until you glance back at him, confused at his silence.

"uh—" he clears his throat. "how am i supposed to know what's natural? we've never dated before." oops. overly sarcastic.

"have you never even considered it?"

"what?" clark's baffled by your question, but you ask it so casually, like it's not taking the ground out from beneath his feet. it's not that he hasn't considered it. it's that he has. he knows all too well how he wants to walk with his arm around your shoulders, how he wants to have you cuddle into his side as you watch a movie, how he wants to absolutely spoil you—as if he has the money for that anyway. "i—"

"you know what? forget i said that. i don't wanna know," you mutter. "just, like, pretend like you're obsessed with me, i don't know."

"hey, lovebirds! you done?" the teacher calls from the front of the classroom.

as clark starts, "oh, we're n—"

you say, "sorry! we're sorry." and then the both of you, red in your faces, stay silent. you barely even move, feeling reprimanded, even though your teacher was barely offended.

when the teacher lets the class work in pairs, clark decides to use the time to talk to you instead. he could do the work later. "can you just give me an idea of what the night's going to look like, at least?"

you take a quick glance at the teacher, making sure her eyes aren't on you and clark. "you'll come over and i'll introduce you as my boyfriend. my parents won't be suspicious, because i'll start bringing it up today. and they won't be too intimidating. my uncle might, but they'll love you. there's something about you that screams 'good guy' and they'll pick up on it." you twirl the pen in your hands. "it'll be fine. you have nothing to worry about, really." clark feels his heart skip a beat when you place your hand on his bicep—which is supposed to be a comforting gesture. what's happening to him? you've touched him before. plenty of times, actually. this shouldn't mean a thing.

a few days later, and clark is taking deep breaths as he walks down the path to your front door. before he can even meet the porch, you're outside, greeting him. he nearly stops in his tracks when he sees you, your hair half up, half down. the dress you're wearing is baby pink, and something about this sight—seeing you so... girly does something to him, even if he won't admit it.

"hi," you say, breaking the awkward silence. "ignore the dress, i'm trying something a little different."

"no, it's good. you look great," he forces. and then, he remembers he's supposed to be your boyfriend, he's allowed to flirt with you. "you look really pretty." he swears he sees your expression change, like you're nervous. it makes his hand tense, and he nearly crushes the stems of the flowers he forgot he's holding. "oh, these are for you."

"thank you. this is..."

"good enough, i hope?"

"better. i knew you wouldn't let me down."

"can't leave my girlfriend hanging, can i?" oh. oh. that gets you. and clark knows it, too.

"uh—" you start, looking at him with what can only be described as a mix of shock and infatuation. "we should go inside."

and as you're walking towards your front door—"i should call you something, shouldn't i?"

"what?" you turn back around, facing him.

"honey," he tries. "no, too mature. babe?" clark watches your reactions carefully, and even though you seem affected, 'babe' doesn't have the punch he was hoping for. "sweetheart?" bingo.

"sweetheart is fine," you mutter, trying to ignore the way your face heats up.

"okay, sweetheart. you ready for this?" you nod, walking towards the door with clark at your side. "what about princess?"

"too much. you can't call me that in front of my family."

"but i can call you that when we're alone?"

"clark!"

"it's just a question, sweetheart," clark teases, fighting back a chuckle. he could do this the rest of his life.

part two coming soon?!

[archivewriter1ont]

Shep-Centric Thoughts...

I'm plotting out a Shep-centric fic and I have come to the conclusion that this man is amazing, awesome, and doesn't get enough attention in the fandom.

Bullet points on why below...

One: His relationship with Phee.

Are they actually, biologically related? Was she instrumental in helping him and Lyana find Pabu, this safe place away from the Empire? Has she saved his and his daughter's life and now he feels like she's the greatest person ever? Was she a stray he found with a bullet wound in her side and a machete sword in her hand, snarling and snapping until he and Lyana "tamed" her? We don't know...but we're durn sure they're close and that for all anyone knows, they're family through and through.

Two: His willingness to accept Phee's friends.

Now, Phee might have called ahead to tell our friendly mayor that she was bringing friends, but even if she did Shep is so freaking welcoming. He doesn't ask how or why she came into sudden possession of three muscley ex-commandos and a smol danger child but you know what? He doesn't really care either. They're Phee's friends and so they're his friends, full stop.

Three: His eagerness to make the Batch feel accepted.

Throughout his scenes, Shep is going out of his way to make the Batchers feel safe and at home on Pabu. I ADORE that he seems to give extra attention to Hunter, who has the hardest time adjusting to a non-combat life and who is constantly on edge regarding the safety of those around him. Shep is also a leader in a way, so I feel like he understands a little of where Hunter is coming from, but because he's a normal human, he recognizes that Hunter's obsession with keeping what is left of his broken family together is breaking the sergeant. Because his accelerated life has been spent as an experimental soldier who may or may not see tomorrow and who must constantly be on guard, Hunter doesn't know how to be safe. He can't accept it because it goes against his very DNA. I think Shep clocks that and is trying to reassure the tracker that he can relax on Pabu - -that they're not threats, but also that Hunter and his brothers and sister are not a threat to the Pabuans, either.

Four: His insistence that they stay.

Shep isn't blind and I'm sure that little things reveal to him that the Batchers have all had very rough lives. Instead of pushing them away and being unwilling to take on their issues, Shep is completely sincere in wanting them to stay on Pabu, to build a new life for themselves despite what they've already been through.

When Wrecker says he's never full, what does that trigger in Shep's mind? I think he would instantly realize that these are survivors, but because he's around them, watching them, he also notices that just because they know how to survive doesn't know they know how to actually live. The Batchers are still adjusting to not being soldiers and now they're fugitives, castaways. Even before the war ended, they were experiments and viewed as canon fodder, created for a war that they didn't get to choose to fight. But more than pitying them, I think Shep would just be that much more eager to set their minds at ease and help them adapt to civilian life. That's certainly what he seems to be doing in the buildup to Season Three.

And now we just have some more pics because I love Shep so much.

[turgidscum]

the usage i have for turgid is a literary usage, meaning boisterous or pompous primarily. it used to be theatre, but i'm not into musicals very much anymore.

you seem to misunderstand me. i don't believe it should be easier for cis women or nb people to get phallo. i believe only men - cis or trans - should be able to get phalloplasty, as the penis is a male organ. while yes, i am aware that trans women are obviously born with penises, i believe that you need to have sex dysphoria in order to be trans. if you would not wake up tomorrow with the opposite genitals, i would not consider you a transsexual. transgender, sure, but not transsex.

if cis people started getting trans surgeries, the regret rate would increase due to people who aren't dysphoric about their genitals (i.e. okay with their genitals) having to pay thousands, go through emotionally and physically intense surgeries, and now having genitals different to what they were already okay with. they will actually feel the sex dysphoria that trans men and women experience every day alongside taking resources such as appointments, doctor attention, and creating even longer wait times.

i am a transman who has gone through hysto with minimal push back and is currently going through the phallo process because i am incredibly dysphoric. my hysto took six months after the consultation to do, but my phalli consultation hasn't even been scheduled due to the overwhelming amount of people seeking this surgery.

i don't say this because i'm a republicans or because i think genitals look a certain way. fuck that. republicans are stupid and need to fuck off over obsessing over peoples' junk and just let me get my passport changed ffs, and who gives a fuck what peoples' junk looks like. i don't think cis women should be getting phallo, just like i don't think cis men should be getting vaginoplasties, as they're going to be dysphoric about it later.

what's hurting trans people is the idea that we're choosing to do these things for the fuck of it. its why republicans think they can just stop us from transitioning, because it's an aesthetic. but a lot of us are genuinely struggling wirh dysphoria, and while i support people who choose not to get bottom surgery for whatever reason, that doesn't mean i support cis people getting unnecessary surgeries that make the wait line to alleviate dysphoria longer for actual transsex individuals.

i struggle with the idea of autonomy and where the line should be drawn at enough. obviously, people with biid shouldn't be able to disable themselves because of their mental disorder, not do i believe we should allow individuals who don't have diabetes or chemo to get insulin or chemo/radiation just because they feel like it. those are medical conditions, as is gender/sex dysphoria, and i believe care for it should be limited.

but we have things like botox and face lifts that people always compare transitioning to. those are aesthtic. they don't cause distress like having the wrong genitals can have. those have higher regret rates than trans surgeries are are routinely botched, but we allow anyone to get them.

i don't know. we can't let anyone get everything they want. we can't just pass around hrt and insulin and cokr like they're cocktails for whoever wants them, but we should restrict all access like reputards do. there is a middle ground somewhere, and i think the idea of allowing open access to trans surgeries under the name of bodily autonomy has a possibility to classify these legitimately lifesaving surgeries as aestbetic.

(in case any of your followers know about these kinda stuff)

Can a cis woman get a phalloplasty simply because she wanted a peanits? Are there any records of that happening?

Good question!

Does anyone know?

[zebra-rigel]

part 2 of demonic cultivation teachers Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan (warnings are in the tags: they're nothing big, but i just wanted them to be there as an option) (This doesn't include lbh yet, though my boy will be part of the shen's minor sect. I think I'm gonna progress the story linearly and we'll get to him in due time, once everything else is fleshed out ) After some thinking, I've realized that sj and sy wouldn't really have the resources to take care of a newborn, so they leave Ning Yingying in the care of the brothel jiejies and visit every month to give them money. Shen Jiu plans to let the child grow up there, but in a rare act of defiance A-Yuan demands that he buy a house and that they raise her together. Jiu refuses to consider it at all, stating that Shen Yuan's plans lack foresight and logic. At least, until the rumors of some cursed ruins reach his ears.

The interesting thing about cursed ruins, is that if treated with the right combination of rituals they become optimal places to cultivate demonic energy. Naturally, it's land like this that demonic sects build on. Shen Jiu decides to scout the location and its potential for such use.

The twins travel to the village, but as they get closer and closer Shen Jiu's chest starts to tighten, sights and places stirring long-buried memories- it's at the last stretch of the journey, talking to an old woman who sets the story straight for them, that he fully realises they are headed to the burnt husk that is the qiu estate. Shen Yuan shares a few of his memories because of that unfortunate sharing of life-force. He stares at Shen Jiu and quickly turns them around. "We're leaving, right now!" he declares.

Leaving .. can he, really? Shen Jiu remembers being afraid of this place as a slave- he remembers longing without end to leave it. Resenting it.

Weren't the Qius a cultivator family? Hadn't he- almost- ended their clan? If so, what was the next logical step of his revenge ?

Desecrating their property. "No, Yuan," he says finally. He turns to the old lady. "We are cultivators and wish to take a look at those grounds. Is there anyone we may ask?"

"There isn't," she croaks. "The ruins have been all but lost to the forest around it. No one will stop you. I for one, do not think those lands can be cleansed, but I won't stop you from trying."

Shen Yuan waits until they have walked a good distance away. He follows behind Shen Jiu and tugs at his sleeve. "What do you want? What do you intend to do?" "Wait and see," he responds curtly.

The estate is both less and more than he imagined it would be. He remembers the massacre- killing all the men after the women and children had been ordered away by Qiu Jianluo. Not a single witness had been left but Haitang, and he would be happy to demonstrate his experience in murder to her if she was still around. He approaches the supporting pillar of what used to be Jianluo's bedroom. A burst of qi dislodges it from it precarious postion and it falls into the debri around it. His resentment rises- manifests in his qi and mixes with the resentment of those who died there. It is a powerful loop, two streams of water flowing into each other eroding the sand around it. He breathes and slips into meditation. Focuses on the resentment. Slightly, but surely, he feels it strengthening his qi.

Shen Jiu opens his eyes and cuts off the flow. Turns back to A-Yuan. "Well?" he asks. "Isn't it suitable for cultivation?" Shen Yuan stares at him, mouth agape. "Yes, but- don't tell me you're seriuously considering it? This is a great cursed ground, true, but it's also- also!!"

Shen Jiu recognizes that words to express human suffering elude the elegant plant spirit. It marks the difference in experience between them- that no matter how much he is taught and learns, he will never understand shen jiu for what he truly is. A monster. "It's also the place I grew up imprisoned in, you mean? That's what makes it an optimal cultivation area. My resentment is mine to control." Shen Yuan still looks unconvinced. The next thing he says makes Shen Yuan drop his fan on the ground and stare at him with disbelieving shining eyes. He is so easily distracted, Shen Jiu thinks distantly. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[everestgale]

ev you will not believe who i'm about to toss your way it's an actual curveball you will not see it coming in a million years

for the ask game can i ask for,, bro ken.....

Pareidolla asking about Broken? I would've never seen this coming! /lh /j

[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]

favorite thing about them

Perhaps I'm a little boring, but my favorite thing about Broken is just how much he changes in Paranoid!Apotheosis route, and how both Hero and Paranoid are actually able to get through to him, to help him see beyond his "perfect goddess". I talked about it a lot in Paranoid's character ask (platonic ParaBroken gives me so much life-), so I'll leave it here for anyone who wanted to read it in more detail <3

It's just... very sweet and encouraging to see someone who hit practically rock bottom in the prior chapter, someone who was so blindsighted and so sure of their inferiority... being able to believe in themselves with the right support system. ARGH, new Apotheosis still lives rent-free in my head ( T v T )

least favorite thing about them

I can't think of anything I dislike about Broken now... but I will use this question to confess that I used to be Broken hater- (not actually a hater, but he was my least favorite, and I was very open about that-)

LOOK, I'M SORRY!!! I was a fool, and I realized that even before the Pristine Cut dropped. I was too annoyed by how much of a wet noodle he was during the Tower that I ignored pretty much everything else about him for my first two months in the fandom 😭 But I'm a changed person now, and I have been since maybe March or April of last year, Broken my beloved, I'm sorry...

favorite line

"But... I love her."

"But it's not enough to stop us, is it? We're going to make it to her."

These two lines from Apotheosis absolutely destroyed my heart (in a good way) and made me squeal when I played through it for the first time.

"I think we are happy, actually. We might not be part of her. But being around her is almost the same. Almost."

"I'm going to stick around as long as you need me to."

brOTP

Besides ParaBroken that I already rambled about in great detail in Paranoid's post... I think I wanna say StubbornBroken, there is something sibling-like in their relationship that speaks to me, like an "ugh, great, I have to deal with you" lighthearted attitude that applies both ways, if that makes sense. Or if anything I said makes sense, really.

Personally, I like to imagine that in the post-ending scenario, the two of them have a strong friendship, with Stubborn helping Broken to not be as mopey as often, and with Broken helping Stubborn to slow down and not get himself excessively injured (especially since in my version of post-ending scenario, voices can actually die)... I also just think it would be funny if Stubborn self-appointed himself Broken's personal trainer, and Broken was having none of that /lh

OTP

I'm not sure if I have a solid OTP for Broken; I have a few ships I kind of like, but nothing that I go crazy over like ParaHero or Skeptunist. I really like CageBroken, there are some lovely lines that Broken says during that route, he is so considerate and gentle towards her:

"The poor thing... she thinks it's easier to be detached. But buried pain is still pain, whether she knows it or not."

"She's sacrificed a lot to get here. More than we did, I think."

I also like the idea of SmittenBroken, with both of them recovering from their unhealthy devotions to their respective Princesses... But I haven't really explored that idea too much yet (SmittenBroken shippers didn't get to me yet, but they likely will succeed if they do /lh)

Honorable mention goes to CheatedBroken because of a specific, interdimensional version of it that I really, really like :]

nOTP

Don't think I have any! The closest would probably be TowerBroken, but it's such an interesting exploration of an imbalanced / abusive relationship, with room for reconciliation (especially with new Apotheosis), that I can't put it as a nOTP.

random headcanon

I headcanon that my Broken has a mild case of chronic fatigue syndrome. I keep imagining him as a low-energy person, who generally prefers calmer and less energy-intensive activities, and so making this partially be a result of a physical condition made sense to me.

Disclaimer: I'm no medical professional, and I don't have CFS myself (at least I don't think so). I try my best to do research to write it accurately and respectfully, but if I make any mistakes in my portrayal of CFS with this HC, my sincerest apologies! You are always welcome to correct me in DMs or send me an ask about it <3

unpopular opinion

I'm not sure how unpopular of an opinion it is, but I very much subscribe to the idea that post-ending Broken was greatly affected by Paranoid!Apotheosis, and I write pretty much every scenario (that's not in-game canon) from that perspective. Am I being reductive in his character? Maybe, I can't tell, and I hope I'm not, but I really, really, really like Broken's start of recovery in Apotheosis, and I can't help but want to push that line of thinking with his character ( T v T )

song i associate with them

I love Anti Beat by DECO*27 as a weird mix / duet between Tower and Broken... so not 100% Broken song, but I'll include it here anyway:

"What part of me do you like?

If you tell me, I'll do anything for you

If I’m told “I love all of you, every single part”,

I’ll just be filled with hate

I absolutely detest the “me” that you love

Listen to this selfishness of mine!"

"All that you’ve done for me, all that you’ve given me, it has turned me into such a mess"

favorite picture of them

I genuinely love and adore how my unbroken Broken during the Wild turned out. I also love sharing the fact that Broken is supposed to be a very soft, fluffy bird (in terms of his plumage / feathers) because he is based on a dove species... but as a result of the game events, he lost about half of his feathers. Poor Broken :[

[74rn]

A drabble, based after @madmeks newest Titus/Mira stories. Set directly after Caught Again. Poor Zev is the real trooper in all this.

"So-" [Zev] turned towards the woman beside him, who looked far too amused for her own good. "Want to tell me what the fuck THAT was about?"

For once, a sense of calm was felt.

The Cadians and Mordians were finally home, as it were, after a prolonged stay on the Ultramarine strike cruiser and most could not be happier. The "generous" help of the Chapter Serfs combined with even more strained resources had set everyone m9re on edge than usual.

Not to mention the Astartes themselves.

If anyone could accuse the Guardsmen rank and fume of anything, none of it would be them not being God-fearing. Having the Angels of the Emperor in such close quarters observing them even on downtime was a very mixed experience. Needless to say the freedom to actually lay down and relax even if it was only for the time the ship got them back to their respective posts was very welcome.

Zev took a drag of his cigarette, tapping the ashes over the metal railing overlooking the loading bay. He was thinking very hard about one Astartes in particular.

"So-" He turned towards the woman beside him, who looked far too amused for her own good. "Want to tell me what the fuck THAT was about?"

Well, if a smile broke on his own face too when he said it who could blame him.

The woman, Lieutenant Mira of the 203rd Cadian Regiment, leaned forward on the railing. "About having sex with Titus or the fact that he looked you in the eyes while he did it?"

Another drag of the cigarette. "You already told me you were trying, I mean the fact that I'm pretty sure he wanted to kill me with that glare. Not sure in what way though, that was pretty hot."

"I told him we had sex before." Mira snorted. "He doesn't understand that we're just friends now. I guess they rarely fuck let alone do anything else with us normal people."

Zev raised an eyebrow. "So he's possessive of his girl? Like some war canid? Great."

"It's not that personal, he also likes an audience."

With another slow drag and a blush creeping up his face, Zev stamped the butt of the cigrette out on the railing before tossing it off towards whatever servitor was going to clean this ship once they were done with it. "Do you think he'd let me watch you get fucked again?"

"It's actually THAT type of personal." Mira gave the man a hard clap on the back, a mocking show of comfort. "Sorry Zev, you'll have to deal with just hearing about it."

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm so sick of perisex trans people telling me I can't be transmasc as an amab person. I'm fucking intersex and never had a real puberty let alone a really masc one. I grew some tiny tits and almost no beard, just some fluff. People constantly called me young lady all my teenage and young adult years. I was always looking too fem to be seen as a man but also not fem enough to just pass as a woman. But yea sure, no transition required here at all because i was born with a fucking dick. Cause what's in my pants is the only important thing when it comes to me being allowed to use the trans label.

hey, thank you for taking the time to send this! your story deserves to be told

i honestly don't understand why perisex trans people get so worked up about it. it's a very common, just not talked about experience. i get feedback from amab transmasculine people all the time, nobody wants to listen. amab transmasculine people get talked over so hard for the sake of petty internet drama it's so sad. that doesn't need to be happening. who does that benefit?

people really are way too focused on genitals right now. it's disturbing, and you should say it. that's just literally what we're dealing with right now. people are being predatory as hell right now, feeling like they NEED to know A.) the genitals someone currently has and/or B.) the genitals they were born with. i really just don't understand why that's the state of affairs right now. but every time people try to talk about it, it gets shut down. no matter what.

i just don't quite understand why perisex people are getting so defensive on the "behalf" of intersex people right now, it's so rude. it's hurting people, and we didn't ask you to do that. intersex people don't like you more when you hurt people for no reason. also, no one should feel obligated to divulge whether or not they are perisex, intersex, or something else. i don't like that people have to divulge any of this. you are allowed to control how much information you share about yourself on the internet. your safety and privacy is important. i think people feel way too entitled to very personal details about strangers at all times and it's frightening.

harassing you doesn't help me. i'm intersex. how does this help me, or any other intersex person? it just creates a situation where someone else has to step in to help. you're not accomplishing anything. i have no idea why people think hostility within queer spaces is a good thing but it's just so old. i want you to live as yourself, however you want to identify yourself as

of course you're transmasc. that's a very transmasculine experience, it doesn't make any sense to me why it matters to anyone. you are the arbiter of your own lived experience, nobody has any right to tell you how you identify. besides, in my eyes... aren't more transmascs a good thing ? that's what i thought, anyway. like that makes me happy. the more diversity in transmasc spaces, the better. i don't need to know anything about your body, or anyone else's. i don't like that. it's not productive. it's predatory. it's creepy. it's gross. it's invalidating.

thanks for stopping by, i hope things just like. calm the hell down. i just can't entertain that behavior it's damaging and i don't know why anyone is enjoying getting riled up anymore. just let people be. let amab transmasculine people talk

[nottoonedin]

The Night Before

(Long Post Warning)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She got the note wrong.

Isla had practiced this song countless times. She had hidden herself in her room, staring at the sheet music for hours, she knew the song like the back of her hand. She could probably sing it in her sleep, if she wanted to.

But it was that one note, that she struggled to reach, that could make her whole performance- her facade of perfection that she'd strived for since she was a child- fall apart.

Isla could feel her hands shaking slightly, gripping the paper in her hand tighter. If she can't perform properly by herself, what would happen on stage, when she's singing in front of thousands? What if she forgets the lyrics? What if she gets the timing wrong? What if she's not good enough? What if.. what if-

Isla startles when she hears a sudden knock at her door.

She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It was much too late for anyone to be visiting her, even Madame would have let her know beforehand about coming to her room. One of the guards, perhaps? But what would they have wanted at this hour? Besides, the knock was too quiet and gentle, almost unsure, not likely to have been made by something as large and robust as them.

She cautiously made her way towards the door, straining her ears to listen for any noise that would give Isla a clue as to who was on the other side of the door. After regaining her confidence, she cleared her throat.

"Who is it?" Isla finally asked.

A voice was quick to answer, "Oh! Isla, it's me, Monica!"

The next few seconds barely registered as Isla quickly opened the door, yanking a surprised Monica into her room by the front of her shirt, making sure to close the door behind her.

"What are you doing here?" Isla hissed, "It's passed curfew, what if someone saw you?"

Monica simply giggled in response. "Nice to see you too, Isla," she answered playfully. Isla huffed, though it was nothing more than a disguised sigh of relief. She couldn't say she was mad at being able to see Monica, not really. Actually, Monica's presence was quite calming, despite her energetic nature, at least to Isla.

"To answer your first question, I just wanted to see how you were doing," Monica continued, her eyes wandering Isla's room.

"Monica, we see each other nearly every day," Isla reminded her, "could you have not come to see me earlier, or waited until tomorrow?"

"Well, what if I wanted to see you now?" Monica frowned. Her eyes soon fell onto the notes that were scattered on the bed. She threw Isla a questioning look, "You're still learning the song? Haven't you memorised it by now?"

Isla lightly chewed on her bottom lip. "I.. I just want to make sure I know it properly. There's this one part that.. I'm struggling with."

The red-head tilted her head to the side. "You seem to do fine when we're practicing together. Amazing, even." Isla felt her cheeks heat up at the praise.

"You'll do great Isla, it's just night-before nerves, that's all," Monica smiled reassuringly, "anyways, I just came to be a good opponent and wish you good luck!"

Opponent. Right. That's what they were. That's what they would be tomorrow on stage. It's what they were trained for, since they were children. It's what is expected of them. But when it came to Monica, it sounded so wrong.

Isla didn't want Monica to be her opponent. Monica was her friend, her... whatever she was to Isla. Calling Monica her opponent left a sour- venomous- taste in her mouth, she wondered if it did the same to the other? Yet she seemed to say it so easily...

Isla nodded slightly, her lips a thin line, "same to you, Monica."

Monica seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if she wanted to say more (Isla hoped she would say more), but quickly returned Isla's nod, whispering a quick "good night" before walking towards the door to leave.

Isla realised she didn't want her to leave. Not yet.

"Wait-!" Isla whipped around, her hand clutching onto the back of Monica's shirt. The girl froze in surprise, no longer moving towards the door.

"..Stay. Please." Isla whispered, gently leaning her head against Monica's back, a hint of desperation in her small voice.

The room was silent for a few moments, the only sounds being their quiet breathing, before Monica quietly responded, "Okay."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

That's how Monica found herself in Isla's bed, under Isla's duvet, fidgeting with Isla's sheets. She hadn't expected Isla to ask her to stay. Well, maybe she did. A little. But she hadn't expected Isla to invite her to stay the whole night in the same bed. Monica wondered if it was weird. Was it weird? Well, if Isla thought it was okay, then Monica was perfectly fine with it.

The only thing she wasn't fine with was Isla not being in her own bed. She wasn't going to give Monica the bed and sleep on the floor, surely? She looked over at the dark-haired girl across the room, who was currently engrossed in the notes that were scattered on the bed prior to Monica's visit. Her hair had fallen in front of her face, like a curtain that cut Monica off from knowing what Isla was thinking, which frustrated Monica to no end.

Isla was obviously upset about something, so why couldn't she just simply tell Monica instead of worrying herself sick before the competition?

What if it affects her performance..

Monica shook the thought from her mind. She was confident in Isla, she knew what she was capable of, she had no need to feel nervous. Still, Monica wanted to reassure her, to calm her down... to be at her side.

"Isla.." she called out to her.

"Hm? What is it, Monica?" Isla answered, still not looking up from the notes in front of her.

"You must've memorised the song by now, and it's already so late. You really should rest for tomorrow," the red-head hinted, looking at the other hopefully.

This time Isla turned her head to face her, yet she still hesitated. She glanced away from Monica, the papers crinkling in her hands. "I just.. want to make sure I'm prepared.."

Monica pouted, not unlike a child. "You invite me to stay in your room, and yet don't have the decency to show your guest some attention? Isla, you're so cruel.." She whined dramatically, feigning sadness.

She had expected a laugh, maybe a roll of the eyes before making her way towards Monica- like what usually happens- but Isla didn't move from her seat, worry still written on her face.

Oh. She really is nervous.

Monica studied Isla's face for a moment, contemplating, before gently sighing and patting the space on the bed beside her. "Come here, I'll help. What parts are you struggling with?"

Isla seemed to perk up slightly at that, and to Monica's relief, she finally walked towards the bed and sat in front of Monica, showing her the music sheets in her hands.

"Uhm, it's mainly just this part, I just can't hit the note," Isla admitted sheepishly, avoiding Monica's eyes.

Monica looked down to where Isla was pointing to on the sheet, her eyebrows furrowing. This doesn't seem right, Monica had thought while looking at the notes. The notes were pretty high, sure, but Isla should easily be able to hit them, going off how she performed when they practiced. Monica never saw any faults in how she sung. Isla's voice always sounded perfect.. gentle.. angelic... at least to Monica.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Monica's head.

"Here, we can sing it together, like we usually do," she looked up at Isla with a reassuring smile. Isla's eyes widened slightly at the suggestion, her cheeks reddening a little, to Monica's surprise. It was a cute expression on Isla, she decided to herself.

Isla quickly snapped out of her slight stupor, nodding before murmuring, "Alright.. but make sure not to be too loud, okay?"

Monica grinned even wider, nodding in agreement. She always liked a chance to sing with Isla. It always seemed to bring the other girl a special kind of joy when she sung, a gentle smile would grace her lips, and Monica swears she would see Isla's eyes sparkle from time to time. It always did funny things to Monica's stomach, but it wasn't a bad feeling, quite the opposite.

Monica cleared her throat, taking a deep breath, before beginning to sing.

She wanted to treat this like any normal practice between them, because it was, wasn't it? The same rinse and repeat, the same song they have sung over and over again. She wanted to be calm, to reassure Isla that if they could sing like this now, they would do fine- amazing- on stage.

But Monica couldn't help but feel slightly tense when Isla began to sing with her, her eyes watching the girl's every move, carefully listening to every note she sung, to every enunciated word.. and.. shamefully... any sign of fault.

She didn't want to doubt Isla, she was doing wonderfully, but seeing that look of worry on her face earlier, and her own doubt in herself, it had affected Monica, planting a small seed of unease in her mind.

However, after a while, Isla seemed to relax more, a small smile even appeared on her face. It only tugged at Monica's heartstrings even more, but it helped quieten her thoughts, even if for only a little while.

It also helped that Isla had not slipped up once during the song, even at the part she wasn't confident about. It made Monica smile, knowing that she was right about Isla's skill. That you doubted, a voice in her mind nagged.

Isla must have noticed her smiling, because her own smile grew bigger, and her eyes even seemed to sparkle, and Monica's nagging voice in her head was non-existent, because nothing mattered in this moment other than the fact that Isla was happy. She was alive and she was happy.

As the song ended, Monica couldn't help but giggle, causing Isla to raise an eyebrow.

"See? I told you could do it, so there's no need to be so worried!" Monica explained. Isla stayed silent, so Monica took this opportunity to gently rest her head on the other girl's shoulder.

"Stay, please.." Monica murmured, repeating Isla's earlier words back to her.

Isla made no response for a while, and Monica had started to worry she had said the wrong thing, until she heard Isla sigh softly, and she gently moved Monica's head off her shoulder before making her way to the top of the bed, patting the pillow next to her in invitation.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Isla relaxed into her pillow, sighing with soft content. It was a good idea, she realised, to invite Monica to stay. She had really helped calm Isla's nerves, and she didn't realise how tired she was from practicing all day.

Isla liked the peace. It reminded her of their time in Anakt, when the two were alone, under one of the artificial trees. Monica would sit quietly beside her as Isla practiced a song, read a book, or worked on classwork. In turn, she would listen to Monica's stories, her long rambles about bugs or plants, about anything really. She would talk for hours, but Isla didn't mind, she quite enjoyed it, hearing Monica's enthusiastic voice, her passion about each subject.

Monica's presence always made her feel relaxed, free.. safe. Everything about her made Isla feel warm, the kindness in her voice, the way she laughed, always good-naturedly, the way she would trace Isla's knuckles gently with her thumb, much like she was doing right this moment.

Just as she felt she was about to succumb to her body's want of sleep, she heard Monica whisper in the darkness.

"Isla?"

Isla hummed, turning to face her, eyelids drooped, a small smile on her lips. "Yes, Monica?"

From what Isla could make out in the dark, Monica wasn't smiling, her eyebrows furrowed. She had stopped tracing Isla's knuckles, instead opting for interlocking their fingers. Monica looked up into Isla's eyes, swallowing before speaking.

"Promise me, no matter what happens on stage tomorrow.. You'll do your best, okay?"

Isla's breath caught in her throat.

She wasn't expecting Monica to ask such a question. A question she didn't know how to answer. One she didn't want to answer.

Isla looked to the side, avoiding Monica's piercing steel eyes. "I.. I can't control what happens on stage, Monica." You know that.

Monica wouldn't take that answer, it seemed, her voice growing stern. "I'm serious, Isla. Promise me. I know what you're capable of. Please.." Monica sighed, saying the next part quieter, "don't do something stupid."

Stupid. Suddenly, Isla's worry turned to muted anger. Monica thought she was going to do something stupid. Isla would have expected that word to come from anyone else, anyone other than Monica.

Do your best. I know what you're capable of.

Isla didn't like Monica's words. They reminded her of someone else. Someone she didn't want to be thinking of at this moment.

She felt slightly betrayed. Monica wasn't meant to expect these things of Isla, to put her on a pedestal, to expect her to do what she wants, to expect her best. Isla felt herself shaking slightly, from fear or anger, she couldn't tell.

Monica sounded irritated too, repeating her words. "Isla, promise-"

"I will!" Isla snapped, yanking her hand away from Monica's, turning her body away from the other. She very rarely snapped at Monica, the last time she did being when they were younger, so she could imagine the other girl's surprise, though Isla couldn't see her face.

Tears stung Isla's eyes. She hated fighting with Monica. A part of her worried that her sudden lashing out would make Monica want to leave. Isla wanted to apologise, she wanted to be able to promise Monica, but the words formed a lump in her throat, not being able to escape her.

Isla froze when she felt the covers move, and she prepared for the worst, for Monica to get out of bed and leave Isla by herself.

Instead, Isla felt arms wrap around her waist, and the other girl's head bury into the crook over her neck.

"I'm sorry," Monica whispered, "I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm.. nervous too."

Isla wanted to cry. She was terrified. She didn't want to think of what would happen tomorrow, what could happen to her, what could happen to Monica. She took in a shaky breath.

She would try. For Monica, she would try.

"I will.. only if you'll do your best, too," Isla said quietly, a plea.

Monica's arms gripped Isla tighter. "Of course, Isla. I promise," she answered.

Isla squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. How could she say those words so easily?

The two basked in the silence, the tension slowly dissipating, but never truly leaving. To distract from her thoughts, Isla focused on Monica's breathing, the gentle rhythm, the way her breath would tickle her skin. She noted the way Monica's arms fell around her waist, gentle yet secure at the same time.

It wasn't enough.

Slowly, Isla turned her body to face Monica. The other girl watched her silently.

"Monica?"

"Yes, Isla?"

"Could you.. talk?"

Monica tilted her head slightly. "About what?"

Isla swallowed, resting her head on Monica's chest.

"Anything," she whispered.

Monica moved one of her hands from Isla's waist, beginning to slowly comb her fingers through the other girl's hair. "Okay."

And so, Monica talked, about her day, about a book she had recently read, about new species of bugs she's found out about, about trying on her stage outfit, about how uncomfortable the material it was. About everything and anything.

Isla fought hard to stay awake, to listen to Monica, but it was difficult when her voice was gentle, soothing and comforting, as well as the slow, rhythmic feeling of her fingers in her hair.

Eventually, Isla fell into sleep, Monica's voice gradually fading away. The last she could remember was the rustle of sheets, a murmur of words, and a ginger press of lips to her forehead.

When morning came, Isla woke to an empty bed.

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Tagging: @billwasnot @bluemoonscape @apple8ees @rockwgooglyeyes (also Rock sorry for not mentioning Asuka 😭😭 I didn't really know where to put him, will make art to make up for it, eventually) @alien-til-i-stage @solei-eclipse @starry-skiez @aakaneeee @rosedeleca @cirrusoftheclouds @ivanttakethis @awaggaa

[pynkhues]

How do you think Lestat conceptualizes what Louis feels for him? Watching s1, especially with the context of s2, it really looks like Lestat genuinely thought Louis never really loved. I find the contrast between 1x1 and the latter half of s1 so interesting. It seem to me that without being able to read Louis' thoughts and with Louis' refusal to verbally affirm his feelings, he genuinely started to believe that Louis was interested in him physically at most, and then not even that (which must've stang especially, seeing how it can be argued that Lestat has a tendency to objectify himself and tie his self-worth to his desirability as a trauma response). We're really just speculating for now, obviously, but I'm wondering about your thoughts on modern day Lestat especially!

That's an interesting question, anon! Mm, I'd say that he must have known Louis had feelings for him at the very least before he turned him - he could still read his mind at that point after all, and they were courting for a year - but I tend to think that would probably have been a combination of deep affection and attraction more than anything else, given - - y'know. Louis didn't even know they were courting, haha. During their relationship - - I don't know, I suspect he probably pendulumed between knowing that Louis loved him, and having genuine doubt too.

Lestat's raised by Gabrielle to understand that love is something that's generally withheld, and depending on your reading of his relationship with Nicki, I do think that perhaps further entrenched parts of that. While Nicki can be generous, loving and affectionate, the way they break up with Nicki swearing he actually hated him all along and wanted them to die together in Paris would fuck anyone up, especially given Louis and Nicki have some similarities (although I don't think they have as many as parts of the fandom do, really, same with Louis and Gabrielle - I think all three of them are pretty unique characters).

Lestat's a chronic romantisier of his own history as a means of emotional survival, but I don't think he forgets much, and I imagine that the memory of his and Nicki's break-up probably coloured a lot of his and Louis' fights, particularly the one where Louis technically broke up with him before returning with Claudia (Louis, the disaster you are, ily), so in those moments - - yeah. I think he probably thought Louis had never actually loved him, but I think in the moments when they were good, when they were happy, he probably was unwavering in his belief that Louis did.

(It's kind of interesting to think about too that Louis did tell Lestat he hated him too, only where Nicki said it while breaking up with Lestat, Louis said it while getting back together with him, and I'm genuinely looking forward to those parallel gifsets in s3, haha).

I do think he took Louis saving his life as an act of love though, and I think in the long aftermath of that, both before the Trial and after it, when Louis chose Armand, it's probably the thing he clung to the most as reflective of that. There's so much that he feels - the cord between them, their hearts beating in time, the memories of the best of it all - but Lestat's also a character with just so much baggage (totally agree about Lestat objectifying himself as both a trauma response and a manifestation of insecurity, and that Louis no longer wanting to have sex [which is absolutely his right, and normal] was something Lestat took as a much deeper rejection than Louis realised), that I think can outweigh that sometimes.

So yeah, I'd say it probably varies based on his mood and maybe even the minute. A part of him knows, a part of him doubts, the only thing he can be sure of is that he himself loves Louis, and Lestat might withhold his history, but he rarely withholds his emotions.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.211 Snake in the grass

I tossed and turned all night, plagued by vivid, terrifying nightmares that left me feeling exhausted and on edge. I'm surprised I didn't wake Sophia. A heaviness sat on me like a thick sweater, so I sat on the edge of the bed, reminding myself of Sophia's words: I'm okay, we're all okay. If I ever needed a yoga session before, it's now. But when my little lady finds out I did it without her, she'll be upset. I want her to sleep. Between our travels and our traumatic night, we all need rest today. I went downstairs so I didn't disturb Sophia and hopped on Social Bunny to see everyone's Winterfest pictures. No sooner than I sat, Maira sent me a text with two pictures in it. No context. Just two extremely random pictures that raised all kinds of questions.

All my alarms blared. This snake duped my friend, and I wanted to knock some sense into him. I didn't need this kind of energy today. My finger was just about to hit the call button when her face popped up; I never answered a phone call so quickly.

"Maira what the hell??!!!"

"Calm down, Luca. Let me explain."

"Why would you send me those?? Why not just call and THEN send the pictures??"

"I wanted to surprise you!"

"Well, I'm not surprised! I'm concerned! Who is this man?? And why are you both in white?! Please tell me you didn't marry him!"

"I can't do that."

"MAIRA!"

"Well, if you'd just listen!!"

"FINE!"

They met about a week ago and eloped yesterday, and it took everything I had not to scream. Yes, I see the irony of being upset about this when I moved into Sophia's house after one date. But Maira is someone I care about, and she has a history of men trying to take advantage of her. It also reminded me of Alessia's situation all over again. I kept saying to myself, I don't need this right now and muted myself so I could take deep breaths. But as her story came together, I calmed down. Oliver O'Keefe is his name, but he didn't sound like a snake at all. Honestly, he sounded like a proper gentleman. Maira is super clumsy and tripped while walking up some stairs at a restaurant. Oliver was coming down on the other side and helped her up. The next day, she went back to the restaurant, and I'm sure you guessed it; he was there. They arrived around the same time, and she invited him to dine with her. Turns out he's a big foodie and was obsessed with the restaurant. They had hilarious conversations and learned a lot about each other. She wanted more, so she gave him her number. To her surprise, he called a few hours later, saying he wanted to make sure she got home okay, and that she wasn't sprawled out at the bottom of anymore stairs. Funny. I gave him points for that one. They talked for the rest of the night—the rest of the week, actually. She invited him out every day, and he always left her wanting more. They had chemistry, but she cared for him in ways she's never cared for anyone. I could tell even in her voice that she had stumbled upon something special. She kept her feelings to herself for a while because it seemed crazy to have fallen in love that fast, but she couldn't deny it for long. Earlier this week, she invited him to her place to confess. She told him she'd understand if he didn't feel the same and needed to step away, but he confessed to feeling the same. He respected her and didn't want to put her off by making a move too soon. Needless, they had an amazing night, if you know what I mean. The next few days were quite epic, too. Finally, on Winterfest Eve, he invited her to an address in Chestnut Ridge. She felt special because he'd never asked her out before. She got dressed up, thinking it was a date spot, but when she arrived, it was just an old ranch. He acquired it long ago and restored it gradually until it was move-in ready, but he didn't want to live there alone. And he wasn't looking for a roommate, either. He wanted a companion to fill the space with love; Someone to enjoy the journey with him; A partner worthy of being a mother to his children. He wanted a wife. He wanted Maira.

I was all smiles by the time her story was over. My dreams for her had finally come true! I always wanted her to open herself up to love, and I wanted a worthy man to see her. He sounds worthy, but I'll reserve judgment until we meet because he could still be a snake. Predators don't strike right away. She invited us to hang out with them for New Year's Eve tomorrow if Sophia and I didn't have anniversary plans. I told her we had just gotten back in town and weren't gonna do anything for a while, and we'd be happy to swing by.