#i'm not really that happy with this chapter in relation to the rest of the collection

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to The Worst's Chapter 394

Brief summary: Cale talks to GoD. Cale receives his rewards for completing the subquest. Cale feels ominous at what Clopeh had done.

==========

I couldn't help but laugh at and feel sorry for GoD at the same time. 😂😂😂

Cale: Are you busy? GoD: Very busy. Cale: How's the GoC these days? GoD: …What did you do? Cale: Haven't you heard from CJS? GoD: They don't tell me anything anymore. Shameless bastards. Don't they even know that they're living so freely because of me? Cale: Okay, I'll send those two to Earth 3 while we're in the game. Also, I'll briefly explained what happened, so listen carefully. GoD: Oh yes! I'm looking forward to it! Cale: Ha. It's not something that will have a big impact on your side of the god realm. But I thought it would be good for you to know. It's nothing much, but just know. Cale: *tells the chaos he did* Alberu and Rosalyn: (Nothing much?) *looks in disbelief* Cale: …And that's what happened. GoD's mirror: *vibrates intensely* GoD: T-T-This crazy bastard! Y-You are really the best! Hahahahaha! I was a genius for choosing you! Hahahahaha! Cale: Are you crazy? *contemplates on breaking the mirror* GoD: Ahem. Cale: Anyway, since I've set up the board, the gods should fight each other according to that. GoD: Ah. Even without that, there's currently a standoff without any progress. There are gods who are increasingly siding with GoC. Because of that, GoB is going crazy and running wild. Also, there is also talk of her stepping down from the position of representative because GoB is not doing her job properly. In addition, since the title of ancient god is not very useful, there's talk of creating a system by appointing new leader-level gods other than the ancient gods throughout the god realm. Btw, I'm one of them- Cale: Stop. The affairs of the god realm are none of my business. I only care about the hunters and the absolute gods. The rest is up to you, the god and demon realms. GoD: You really think so? Cale: What? GoD: Heh. Cale: *feels annoyed and turns off the screen* GoD: Sorry, I won't tease you! Tell me more!

GoD seems to know that every time Cale denies involvement with the gods, he continues to set up flags in becoming involved with them. 😂😂😂

That lore drop about ancient gods though. I thought "ancient god" was just some adjective to call the old gods, but it was actually a title and had some significance. The appointment of new leader-level gods was also a surprise, and the fact that our GoD was included as a candidate... 🤣🤣🤣

After a few months, CJS and Sui were mentioned again. Cale planned to leave the Earth 3 matters to them while he plays the game. And King Zed was mentioned too!

Apparently, when a person was nearing their death, their name would appear on GoD's Death List six months before their death. Included were also details related to their death, such as the time and location of death.

However, Zed's place of death kept changing, so GoD couldn't tell much to Cale. There was also restrictions around it, so GoD said he would have to prepare for it before he could tell Cale the info.

Moving on, Cale got to talk to the System AI upon completing the subquest. He achieved his quest so splendidly that the system rated it as SSS+. He got a potion that he needed to pour on Count Lupe's forehead to restore Lupe's memories.

The System AI was so happy that Cale hit the Transparent Bloods, the Demon Realm, and the God of Chaos all at the same time. So the extra reward Cale got for achieving SSS+ in his quest was just too OP!

Red Hand (Rank: God) -When using the skill, you can make a "judgement" through a "trial with the System" and activate "Red Hand" when you are "permitted". -If you understand that the absolute god of the New World already exists, it will be easier to receive "permission" in the "judgement".

Red Hand was the game's response to game errors, and if you recall, it once tried to kill Cale when he first entered the game. But now, Cale had it as a skill? Since the "absolute god" of New World was the System AI, and it was that very System AI who gave the Red Hand skill to Cale, it meant that Cale could freely get "permission" in using the skill. Cale is becoming god-like even inside the game! 😂😂😂

As Cale smiled, another quest window popped into view. And he froze. [Recovery Rate 99.31% (Time remaining: 23:19)] [Nativity Progress 159%] [Reward Tier Undetermined] “Huh?” Why is the nativity progress over 100%? How is that possible? “Damn.” Clopeh Sekka, what the hell did you do? Cale's heart raced. It was the moment he realized something was coming that he couldn't handle.

It's here! Cale's reaction to Clopeh Sekka's actions! 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, what the heck did Clopeh do that the birth/nativity progress surpassed 100%? 😂😂😂

Ending Remarks So much happened today. Next chapter would be our poor Cale learning what Clopeh had done (and learning about Sheritt's "betrayal"). 😂 We would probably hear about what happened to Count Lupe too once he wakes up. So Eden's birth should be next week?

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE GRID'S REACTION

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. the grid reacts to the news!

content warnings. some drivers are acting like assholes, some cursewords, 23!grid

notes. have another reaction chapter hehe

daniel ricciardo Guys

Guys wake up

IT'S IMPORTANT

lando norris ???

daniel it's 5am, why are you spamming rn

carlos sainz It's summer break, why can't you all shut up for once

daniel ricciardo Did no one see the news? Stark is coming to F1

carlos sainz To a race?

daniel ricciardo No you shithead, he's making a team

charles leclerc !!!!

lando norris at this point you'll never win monaco (because once stark joins, there no longer will BE monaco) charles leclerc Fuck you, nowins

daniel ricciardo This is serious... Tony fucking Stark wants to create an F1 team for the next season. @/max verstappen your winning streak will be over

charles leclerc Next season??? I thought for 26?

lewis hamilton Of course he would do that

charles leclerc Lewis, explain?? daniel ricciardo Yeah Lewis, please explain?

lewis hamilton Did any of you ever meet Tony? He will probably see the next season as test for the 2026 season. To train his mechanics and engineers and go all out. I bet many are saying it's a waste of money

carlos sainz It is a waste of money.

daniel ricciardo Yeah, they do. Reactions vary but 'experts' are saying that Tony is just wasting his time and should properly prepare for 26

lewis hamilton Knowing him, he already has a fully built car for 2026 and it's a beast.

fernando alonso Only the best for his daughter!

charles leclerc What. lando norris wdym his daughter??

george russell Why are you all awake at this bloody hour?

kevin magnussen Read the room. Everyone is in schock.

sergio perez Stupid. She will fail like every woman in motorsport with a rich father. Too dramatic.

lando norris i'm still confused???

oscar piastri Tony Stark has three children. Harley Keener-Stark, Y/n L/n-Stark, Peter Parker-Stark. Y/n is his only biological child and currently racing in Formula 3. She won Formula 4 last year.

charles leclerc I thought he only had sons?? When did Y/n appear? oscar piastri She 'appeared' the first time in January this year as Tony's daughter, no one knew before. lando norris how did you know? oscar piastri Google exists.

carlos sainz So daddy's money... great.

max verstappen I swear to god I will leave this chat the next time you all decide to fucking gossip at 6am like old women

daniel ricciardo It's important news!

max verstappen No it's not. Stark will be in F1 for a few years maximum and then leave again. It will pass

daniel ricciardo @/lewis hamilton you here? Don't you have anything else to add??

Fine, I'll guess I just ask the rest of the grid, you fucking bore.

daniel ricciardo @/everyone wakey wakey, it's time to wake up and talk!

mick schumacher Daniel? What's up?

george russell Ignore him. He has been annoying us because Tony Stark is coming to F1 and no one really cares. charles leclerc Lies and slander! I care!! lando norris yeah! me as well, idk what you're yapping abt

carlos sainz It's bullshit.

arthur leclerc Why do I have a bad feeling about Monaco...

ollie bearman THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING bianca bustamante It will be something for sure

lance stroll Well, I'm just happy to see another friendly face at the paddock :)

carlos sainz Of course you know Stark.

lance stroll You're just jealous esteban ocon As am I??? I'm your best friend AND MY BEST FRIEND HAS THE POTENTIAL OF KNOWING SPIDER-MAN???? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???????

daniel ricciardo I want everyone who knows anything related to Stark to immediately share with us because Lewis is ignoring me and I need to know. The only info we have right now, is that Stark will make a F1 team and that's it. I refuse to believe that's it. So, @/mick schumacher @/lance stroll spill the beans.

mick schumacher He didn't say anything last time I saw him, so I can't help you much.

lance stroll I know nothing, ask my dad.

daniel ricciardo I don't believe you.

pato o'ward If they say they don't know anything, then they don't? I don't know what's the problem, just wait for the next press release

max verstappen Do you even know Daniel. He's unable to wait for gossip. And he classifies this as gossip

daniel ricciardo Gee, thanks, feeling the love here

nico hülkenberg I wake up to 100+ notifications, why are you all like this?

kevin magnussen They're all idiots.

kevin magnussen @/tony stark could you please speed up with the press release? Daniel is setting all grid chats on fire and it's not funny anymore.

y/n stark ha, weak ass bitch kevin magnussen Watch your mouth missy

tony stark Should I tag Seb in a Tweet to announce it?

peter stark do it y/n stark do it harley stark do it

pepper potts-stark Don't do it. We will proceed with the plan. No matter how annoying the people in your private life are.

kevin magnussen Yes, ma'am, sorry for asking.

sebastian vettel I deserve more than a Tweet at 10am.

y/n stark speak your truth king peter stark sorry for suggesting otherwise (@/yn stark stop being such an attention seeker, we all know seb loves charles the most) y/n stark but charles is not here rn is he?

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!

carlos sainz What is going on now...

charles leclerc KMAG FOR STARK???? I didn't put this on my bingo card, now I lost 100 bucks. Fuck you Kevin

arthur leclerc Pay up bitch

oscar piastri Well done, man

nico hülkenberg And so he leaves he burning, ever sinking ship... the true hero- sorry, I meant coward

daniel ricciardo @/kevin magnussen I KNOW YOU'RE ONLINE YOU COWARD, COME HERE

I just want to talk to you

kevin magnussen No.

*kevin magnussen has left the chat*

fernando alonso There is your answer

several people are typing...

taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel, @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles, @fangirl-dot-com , @nichmeddar , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora, @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozarts , @leclucklerc , @yl90

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I just realized that, in the 5 seasons finales, LB&CN NEVER won :(

-S1: Origins, the start of everything so it doesn’t exactly count. Volpina is the last chapter before those, but now that Lila seems to be the new HM, and since it was LB’s “mistake” that made her a nemesis, their victory comes empty in the long run.

-S2: Heroes’ Day, I consider it a tie, because the status quo changed to HM’s favor. After all seemed lost, LB&CN got a second wind and they managed to corner him, pointing to their victory; there was no way to foresee Mayura’s arrival. HM didn’t win, but is no longer alone against them. From a narrative pov, in my humble opinion, it is a nice season finale to set up S3.

-S3: Battle of the Miraculous, LB makes a mistake born of jealousy, leading to the capture of Master Fu, HM claiming the Miracle Box and Chloe’s betrayal. Aftermath: Fu’s gone, temp heroes’ identities revealed to HW and Mayura, the translation of the grimoire is in enemy hands, allowing him to repair the broken Peacock miraculous, and Chloe starts hating LB. The heroes recovering the miracle box at the end is just a small win contrasted to everything else.

-S4: Shadow Moth’s Final Attack, the Miracle Box is in HM’s hands after LB makes another love-related mistake by being deceived by Felix into thinking he was Adrien; behold the rise of Monarch. Our heroes have their worst defeat so far.

-S5: The Final Day *insert TLOZ: Majora Mask’ Last Day theme*. Gabriel, the person who antagonized our heroes these five seasons, the one who was supposed to be defeated, brought to justice, manages to outsmart Bug Noire because she had faith in the man, and makes the wish. (Though I heard that Mari won because Gabriel didn't wish for Emilie at the end, so... it is supposed to be the heroes' victory, I guess?)

I'm pretty sure this came up somewhere in the comments or reblogs of my post about Marinette being written like a villain, but in the context of the finals, Gabriel is written like a classic superhero. The only exception being Origins which isn't really a final so I don't think it counts. Instead we'll do Volpina into Collector.

Season One: The heroes almost out Gabriel's identity, but he makes a last minute brilliant plan to save himself and beat his enemies, forever putting himself off their radar.

Season Two: Gabriel almost loses, but an unexpected ally swoops in to save him at the last second. She then becomes his new teammate for the rest of the show.

Season Three: Gabriel almost wins, but fails at the last moment due to a deus ex machina. Still, he ends the season with new knowledge that will make him stronger than ever as he faces his enemy in the coming fights.

Season Four: Gabriel once again loses the battle, leaving him in his darkest hour, only for another unexpected ally to swoop in and give him a major powerup, allowing him to go into the final season ready to put it all on the line.

Season Five: Gabriel once again loses the battle, but when all hope seems lost, his enemy's hubristic monologuing gives him the win, allowing him to achieve the victory he's been fighting for all along. He even gets to change his mind on what victory means for him, showing more growth than anyone else in this mess of a show. (For this, we're going to ignore the insane and deeply insensitive idea that being unable to live without your spouse is a happy ending and meaningful lesson about grief.)

To be fair, it's not totally unheard of for heroes to fail at the start or in the midgame, but I'm struggling to think of another show that did it this poorly. Usually, the heroes lose as a way to set up the plot for the next season or arc. During this follow-up plot, the heroes usually earn a new power or skill so they can come back and win. Miraculous doesn't do that. Things like Gabriel's season four win lead to nothing for the heroes even though a lot of us were expecting season five to see something like the heroes recovering a different miraculous every episode as Ladynoir came back stronger than ever now that the season four nonsense was done with.

But season five wasn't about getting the Kwamis back or about Ladynoir being stronger than ever. It was about Adrienette getting together and Gabriel being against that even though he was seemingly fine with it in both what-if episodes begging the question of what changed?

Season four wasn't about cool new guardian powers or rebuilding the team from scratch. All of the status quos were maintained. The only big difference was that Gabriel got the ability to use the peacock without dying even though it would have been infinitely more satisfying if season five had him dying from a broken miraculous instead of a cataclysm. Same plot, just without the complication of Adrien technically killing his father.

Season three wasn't about figuring out how to stop new villain Maurya. She only goes away because she gets too sick to fight. The heroes don't do anything to stop her. They just got lucky.

When you look at the various power ups that the show introduces - the potions, unification, new miraculous, etc. - there is no overarching narrative logic for why those power ups are being introduced. That's why they're often only used for something interesting in their intro episode. After that, they're just kind of there. I don't think they ever come back to save the day in a season final like you'd expect. The only one who gets lasting power ups that effect the whole season is the villain.

Heroes can also have less-than-perfect victories in satisfying stories. A lot of my personal favorites are a little bittersweet. But none of Miraculous' losses fit that bill either. The closest we get is the season five ending because the heroes did get the miraculous back, but it's hard to call that a victory. I'm not even sure why they need them back. Unless the story randomly decides that Ladynoir isn't enough for today's fight, the temp heroes aren't needed. That's why Ladynoir was perfectly fine for all of season five even though they were fighting a villain with every other power! It's actually really funny when you think about it. Heroes like Viperion should be at every fight because their powers feel essential. Yet Viperion only shows up a handful of times. Times when Ladynoir is suddenly struggling to win even though they've faced plenty of one-hit K.O. villains before. The show's internal logic is a mess.

Then again, this is also the show that consistently lets the villain's love empower him while the heroes' love leads to the end of the world, so I guess this is just kind of par for the course.

[wasteddmoondust]

pineapple || james potter

pairing: james potter x reader 1,219 words, teacher and james go on their first date! what could go wrong? a/n: can you tell i am horrible at titling my fics... somehow i just need it to relate to what happens. so uh. enjoy!

prev. chapter

You feel your heart going absolutely crazy. You know it's first-date jitters, but somehow it feels worse this time. It's nothing special, really. You try to tell yourself. Just another first date. Just like other first dates (that has turned to nothing...) And now this first date is the father of one of the children you teach. Yeah, nothing special.

After several attempts to make yourself busy by looking at your phone, you hear your name. It's James and he's walking up to you.

"First name basis already?" you ask smugly.

He chuckles, "What? Sorry, I guess I'll just call you-"

"Please don't, I hate being called that outside of work."

"Got it."

The two of you walk together and he leads you to a quaint coffee shop, James swears by the coffee made here. When the orders are made you find a seat and sit down.

"It's been a while since I've been on a date," he says, hands fidgeting with the receipt.

"Same here," you admit.

He stops playing with the receipt and furrows his brows. "Really? But I'm the parent."

"And I'm the one taking care of your kid for a whole day, 20 kids, actually."

"Huh... and you don't even meet people in the industry?"

You snort. "Unfortunately no, a lot of them are older and married with kids. There's no one to date there. Trust me, even the older teachers try to make me get on dating apps. If anything, you're doing them a favour."

He grins that grin that makes your heart do a little flip. Oh god, it's happening, huh?

"I'm happy to do that."

You continue your conversation, keeping it light with small talk. Then, a waiter comes by to give you your meal and you both thank him. James' phone dings, he checks the message and he replies to it while you patiently wait for him.

He looks back up at you and keeps his phone. "Sorry, my best friend is taking care of Harry today, he was just sending an update."

"That's alright. Is he doing okay?"

"Harry?" he asks, looking a little nervous. His arms are resting crossed on the table. "Uh- yeah. He's fine. Not so sure about Sirius. He just said he's letting Harry use his tattoos as a colouring book."

You laugh. "Yeah, I can see that. He does love to colour. Have you always wanted to be a father?"

James looks stunned, but laughs it off. "Not a normal question for the first date, is it?"

"Well since you already are one," you shrug.

James thinks for a while before answering. "Yeah... I've always wanted kids... Well I'm sure you've seen from the documents I sent to the school when Harry enrolled. I'm widowed..."

You nod, you do in fact know this, you had read through those documents for every child. Understanding their family structure and dynamics can be a big help in understanding the child and improving their development in school and at home.

"She uh- had complications at birth and didn't make it." He let out a sigh and shrugged. "So now it's just me and Harry. And I wouldn't trade him for the world.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"I do."

"You know you can talk about him, right?"

James looks down and purses his lips. "It's just that... other people I've dated weren't really... keen on the fact that I have a kid. You know, another person's child and all."

You tilt your head down to try and make eye contact with him. Somehow, your hand reaches out to his. "You know that doesn't matter to me, right? I already knew you had a son, hell, I even taught him for a whole year, and I still accepted your date."

His mouth forms a small frown, but his hand grabs yours anyway. "I just didn't want to seem weird."

"You're not. Promise," you give his hand a squeeze.

"Is it too early to want to kiss you?"

You both stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing, making him laugh too.

James starts to tell you about Harry, and visibly gets more comfortable the more he does it. He tells stories from his first words to potty fails. He shows videos and pictures. From there, the both of you fall into an easy rhythm of branching from topic to topic in your conversation. You exchange bites of your food. Before you know it, you're laughing while your meal is long done and you're both on your second cup of coffee.

For some reason, you feel an itch in your throat.

Nonchalantly, you ask, "Did your pasta have pineapple?"

"Yes, why?"

"Firstly, who the hell puts pineapple in pasta? Secondly, I think I'm having an allergic reaction."

James sits up in a panic. "Oh god- I'm so sorry-"

You cough into your first. "It's fine, it usually doesn't react as bad as it used to but I like to stay away from pineapples anyway. I'm not gonna die. Can you get me some cold water, please?"

He immediately stands up and gets you a glass from the counter. You down the glass in seconds and you feel better.

"I'm so sorry that was embarrassing-"

"You're sorry? I gave you a bite!"

"I forgot to ask, it's my fault."

He gently places a hand on your shoulder. "I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you"

"James, trust me, it's fine-"

"I'll bring you on a second date."

You furrow your brows. "You just saw me cough my lungs out from an allergic reaction and you still want to bring me out?" you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness.

"I mean... I still find you attractive after all that so if you find me attractive after I rambled about my own child to you though you have taught him for this past year I don't see why not."

At this point, you're pretty sure your cheeks hurt from all the smiling you've been doing the entire time.

Despite your protests, James insists on driving you home. When you reach the entrance to your apartment building, he tells you to wait before rushing out of the car to open the door to the passenger's side. You giggle and take the hand he holds out to you as you step out of his car.

He tugs the hand that is holding yours to make you face him. He's so close, you're desperately hoping your cheeks don't show how flushed you are.

"So... same time next week?" you suggest.

He nods. "No pineapples this time, guaranteed."

"And you're allowed to talk about Harry."

He beams at that, looking down and letting out a sigh before looking back at you. "Is it still too early to kiss you?"

"Yes, but for now I'll give you this," you press a kiss to his cheek. You slowly walk towards your building, your arms stretching until you gently let go when you're too far away. "I'll see you next week!"

And like that, you disappear into the building. James is left standing there, still in disbelief of the entire day.

He lets out a sigh, smiling, and gets into his car. He 's so excited to tell Sirius when he gets home.

a/n: if i'm being so honest i have zero idea how most allergies work so please don't get technical with me... also!!!! thank you so much for the love on part one eek i am on a roll i'm so happy to be writing this series.

taglist: @willows-lane @celosiastarr @nsr-15

[deqdlyowl]

I actually have some old doodles TPtR au related... This one portrays an event from the second chapter.

I have a few more things, but they're kinda spoilers and I'm not really into spoiling... Though one of them is just a spoiler of one interesting detail I want to add (the event my sketch shows most likely won't appear in the fic), while the other one is a WHOLE AHH SPOILER of the shit happening in, maybe like 10+ chapter, I'm still not sure how big I want to make the fic, ahaha.

Also rambling and venting out my feelings under the cut because I forgot to take my meds yesterday. You don't have to read but I would be happy if you do.

.

Every time I start something I like, it begins to feel like a small obligation after some time, no matter how I feel about the thing I create. I love my fic and I really want to finish it, because it's also a huge emotional boost for me when I understand that I passed my word count goal in the chapter and I finally can write down my 24/7 daydreaming about CotL (even if not all of them, I often think about selfship, sorry, ahaha),AND I have a nice feedback. BUT. My ability is to abandon things. I have many unfinished drawings, unfinished crafts, like, a crocheted Spycrab or a full-sized HHH tf2 weapon, even though I really want to finish it all, but since I took a really long break, I just abandoned it all. That's usually the reason why I don't make comics. (The only comic I've ever made is that one silly meme about bees). And a month ago I started writing TPtR.

I'm scared of this happening to my fic, that's why I force myself to write if I'm not doing so for more than two days. Somehow it boosts my motivation, but at the same time, the thought of having to force myself to do something, even if I love it, makes me anxious. Why am I not doing anything if I love it? Perhaps it's just my depression with AuDHD kicking in, and sometimes I forget to take my ADs (I don't have ADHD meds yet) that makes me suddenly apathetic about everything. And then anxiety. And then I get sad when I can't come up with words.

Today I was describing the thing I have no experience in. I made tonnes of research, watched many videos of how people do it, tried to find words, but it looks... Meh. And I'm sad. And when I'm sad about something I do, I abandon it. BUT I WON'T. I will force myself to not, because I still want to write! I try to reassure myself that it looks shitty because it's still a draft and written in my native language. However, if looking at my current word count, the chapter won't be short, and it makes me happy. I'm sad and happy. I'm confused about my feelings about what I do!! I can just abandon doing ANYTHING and be lazy for years as it happened in middle school! But I have to force myself. To do anything at all. I already bed rot when I'm not studying, and if I'm studying at home, I still do it in bed. I'm losing weight (I'm severely underweight), my dogs feel bad (they're almost 12), it's my final year in school so I also study hard for my finals, my dreams say weird things (I believe in dream-telling or whatever, and I kinda can decipher them) and it all devours me from inside. But I can't give myself a rest. Or. I'll. Abandon. The thing. I love!

I'm repeating, but my head repeats everything most of the time as well, it's either loud and messy (adhd) or quiet and agonizing (autism), my ADs make my body parts twitch, I don't think that I need my therapist anymore, because it feels like there's no different between me before and me after talking to her.

I love my friends though. Their cheerful reaction to my fic or sketch updates is something that also boosts my motivation of doing something. I love art because of the feeling of creating something, but after finishing, I get the desire to see someone's reaction to what I did.

That's all, I think. I mean, not all, but I don't want to repeat again and again, my memory is getting worse as well, I feel like I kin Shamura ahahahha. I want to take an MRI. What if I have a tumor.

[kedreeva]

Hello, I've been following you since Good Omens~ I'm currently writing a fic, and it is growing bigger than I expected. So much so that I'm kind of at a lost on how to outline/draft it. If you have any tips you don't mind sharing on how to better plot a story, I would really appreciate it. :)

I can tell you what I do! It requires a little background.

Back in HS, I had a class about writing essays. Basically, it goes like this- you write on a page "intro, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, conclusion." Then you go back, and after each #1 (or as many as you want), you fill in a major argument/point you're making on your topic, and then under each #1, you write 2, 2, 2, 2, or however many you want. The trick is that each #2 must relate to what was said in its matching #1. If needed, you can add #3s under any #2 that needs it, again each #3 must relate to what was said in #2. It's mostly fill-in-the blank writing from there, and then you go back and fill in the intro/conclusion to match what you wrote.

ANYWAY story PLOTTING is kind of the same thing, to me, except instead of the intro/conclusion being the last thing I do, they're the anchors of the rest. I look at where I want the characters to be at the start, and where I want them to be at the end, and then I look at what needs to happen in the middle to get from point A to point B. I write down what major events need to happen (like #1s), and then under those, which building events need to lead up to them (like adding #2s), and if any minor events/character developments need to happen to get to the building events (like #3s).

Once i know what needs to happen, I block out any chapters, particularly if I know I need to get certain chapters to end on certain notes, and once i know what the chapter frames look like, I do a quick "first draft" kind of sketchy write up (as if I'm quickly summarizing for/telling a friend what happened) of a scene-by-scene. That way I know what to expect going into a chapter, and I know what to expect for the overall.

Importantly, if I don't really know what happens, I leave that room in the outline. USUALLY it becomes apparent what needs to happen, as I go through writing, because stuff happens (in the story) while I'm writing that makes it clearer. if not, then I write it wrong and see why it's wrong, and that sometimes makes something clearer. If THAT doesn't work, then I go to friends or strangers and ask for help. There's a lot of people out there happy to rubber duck with you, or to be beta readers, you just have to be very clear about what you actually need from them (for example, if you want storybuilding advice you can tell them to avoid picking at grammar or spelling, especially since whatever it is may change as you edit or rewrite).

Also importantly, it's okay to change your mind AND it's okay to edit previous chapters as needed while you are writing. EVEN if they are already posted to AO3. Anyone reading a WIP is likely to understand that the story is under construction and sometimes that means stuff changes. Sometimes, when you're writing along, you find out if you make a change to something in the past, it rewires a bunch of stuff down the line, or at least opens a door for you to get where you wanna go with the plot.

And sometimes... sometimes you just need to take a break. Sometimes you're trying to pour from an empty cup.

Good luck with it!

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini ♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 3

Expendable

Series Masterlist

Previous part: wine and dine next part: pink peonies

Word Count 5,333

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts.

Standing in front of a human shaped dummy in the private training room, Steve was showing you all the best ways to direct an attack to assure your opponent goes down, and stays down.

After your mission and injury, Steve was out for a few days on a business trip the same day that you were medically cleared to get back to work. So, it had been a while since the last time you trained together.

You both decided it was a good idea to just take it easy and review what you already know as a means of studying for your final evaluation coming up.

Every agent had to take a final evaluation upon completing every single training course shield had to offer. It was a big deal, and though nobody had any doubts that you were ready for it, it could never hurt to review and improve.

"Knock knock, bitches." Bucky announced, causing both of you to stop.

"Hey, Bucky boy" You greeted him.

"What's going on, Buck?" Steve questioned.

"I dunno, I'm bored." He shrugged. "Can I just sit and watch?"

"Don't you have work to do?" You asked with a giggle.

"I finished!" He defended himself. "You two get to spend so much time without me, it's only fair I get to insert myself here whenever I want to."

"You act like this is personal and not us doing our jobs" Steve raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's a technicality I'm choosing to ignore." Bucky sat on the ground with his back against the wall.

Steve looked at you to make sure it was okay that he sat and watched, but he caught something he wished he hadn't. Just for a split second, you narrowed your eyes at Bucky, and he gave you a very subtle nod back.

He realized that it very well could've been nothing, but it definitely seemed like it was something.

Though Steve didn't bring it up at all, he made mental note of it. He was confident in his deep knowledge of both of his friend's behavior, and he was choosing to trust his gut on that observation.

The rest of your time together, Bucky sat and watched quietly, only occasionally responding to conversations that would break out that weren't work related. Towards the end, Steve wanted to confirm some scheduling, so he cut the physical work a few minutes early.

He sat on the bench with you as you pulled a sweatshirt over your head, and your everyday sneakers onto your feet.

"Okay, so, your final evaluation is one week from today." Steve noted. "So this week will be really simple, we can keep doing this, just reviewing what we've already been over. But our training together is still supposed to run until the end of the month so we have three extra weeks together."

"What am I supposed to do when this ends?! I'll be so bored without you!" You exclaimed.

Steve chuckled. "You should be happy that you survived my course!"

"I mean I am, but then what?"

"Maybe another Avenger will take you under their wing." Steve shrugged.

"I can only think of one Avenger with wings" you noted.

"What do you want to cover in the three weeks together after your evaluation?" He asked.

Your lips formed into a pout. "I know what it should be, but I don't wanna do it"

"Restraints?" Steve questioned sympathetically.

"Restraints... I guess." You grumbled.

Every fighter had a weak spot. Just one thing that made their stomachs turn and their hearts race, something that really scared them regardless of mental work or preparation. Some people couldn't handle heights, didn't do very well when they saw blood, and really freaked out over handling certain weapons.

You just happened to be terrified of being restrained, which unfortunately was a very plausible situation to find yourself in as an agent. There was no reason why you were terrified of it, nothing happened in your life to make you fear it as much as you did. But the thought of having your hands or legs tied made you feel claustrophobic in a way you couldn't even describe using words.

"It'll be scary at first, but we'll work on it" Steve reassured. "Wouldn't you rather learn how to get out of any sort of restraint with someone you trust then find yourself in a situation where you're tied up at the hands of an enemy with no way out?"

"Logically yes, but in reality I would like neither of those things to happen." You responded with a twinge of sarcasm.

Steve laughed, "okay well, I wouldn't like that to happen to you either! But once you learn how to escape from a bunch of different scenarios, you won't be scared of it anymore. Knowledge is power!"

"I know you didn't just knowledge is power me, you loser!" You joked with a snort.

"Oh I certainly did, and I'll do it again." He stated with a smile. "Confidently!"

"Okay, I guess I trust you enough to teach me." You committed to the endeavor.

"Good job, pushing yourself is how you grow better as a fighter." Steve praised your bravery. "We'll start with the easiest and work our way up to the hardest, then you'll be such a pro at it that nothing could ever hold you back."

"Yeah, yeah." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"Then after our training together is officially over, I'm going to block off my schedule these same two hours every day to just cry." Steve put a hand over his heart.

"Can you do that to my schedule too? Maybe we can cry together?"

"I'll see what I can do." Steve agreed, before opening his arms up for a hug. You happily hugged him back. "Good job today! You're going to do great on your assessment no matter who is assigned to asses you. We all know it."

"Thanks for teaching me!" You smiled. "In all seriousness, I've really enjoyed getting to learn from you. Thanks for all the time you've put onto me."

"Anytime, Bug. I've been enjoying it just as much." Then Steve turned to include Bucky in their conversation. "What are you guys up to for the rest of the day?"

"Nothing, well, I think that's pretty obvious considering I'm just sitting here" Bucky shrugged. "Do you guys want to hang out? Maybe we can walk to that cool park a few blocks from here? Watch the sunset and get some fresh air?"

"That sounds good to me." Steve agreed. "Buggy, you in?"

Both boys watched as you stood up and slipped your gym back onto your shoulder. "As fun as that sounds, I can't. You know Agent 563? We made plans to have an early dinner together so I have to get ready to leave here soon."

"Booooo, buzz kill!" Bucky announced dramatically.

"That doesn't mean you can't go on a cute little sunset date with your boyfriend without me, Bucky." You smiled at him. "By all means, you boys have fun."

"I think that's great." Steve told you, ignoring the boyfriend comment. "563 is a great agent, and I think it's important that you girls stick together.

"Lord knows we need some time away from the amount of testosterone in this place." You agreed.

“Even me?" Bucky pouted.

"Even you." You smiled at him, approaching him for a hug that you had to bend over pretty far to get. "And Steve. I love you both, but I need to interact with other people than just you two!"

"Hey! I only talk to you and Steve and I'm doing just fine" Bucky defended himself.

"What about Natasha?" Steve wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Don't bring up Natas-" Bucky started passionately

"I'm leaving!" You announced before an argument broke out. "Love you boys! Have fun on your date! I hope you hold hands and kiss each other's foreheads!"

Steve and Bucky stared at each other as you walked out of the room. The door closed behind you, and your foot steps faded until completely inaudible to either of their heightened ears.

"Why are you actually here, Buck?" Steve asked.

"You're in love with her." He claimed deadpan.

Steve's heart sank, but controlled himself the best he could as to not bluff. "Why would you say that?"

"I figured it out last night." Bucky admitted. "I was trying to sleep but my brain wouldn't turn off. I was thinking about the dynamic of our little friend group and it hit me like a train. I had to come confirm it with my own eyes."

Steve puffed out a performative chuckle and put his hands on his hips. "You understand how crazy that sounds, right?"

"Is it though?" Bucky raised an eyebrow while standing up from his spot on the floor. "I never noticed it until today. Your eyes physically twinkle when you look at her. Your cheeks have been pink since I got here, and you never stopped smiling until she left the room. Encouraging, sweet, considerate..."

"It's my job to be encouraging towards her, Buck. I'm her boss." Steve huffed, feeling annoyed and attacked by this conversation.

"Why won't you admit it?" He asked.

Steve stopped in place and noted Bucky's furrowed brows. "Wait, why do you seem so upset about this?"

"I'm not upset." Bucky denied, shaking his head. "But if you're actually pining after her, Punk..."

"What?" Steve's heart was pounding.

"Do you like her?" Bucky asked one more time, his tone was nothing but serious. His face was stone cold.

"I'm her boss." Steve slumped. "There's a power imbalance, I can't break her trust."

"And if she joins the Avengers?" His head tilted.

"She just got out of a relationship."

"It's already been a month since then." Bucky insisted. "Steve, this is between me, you, and the grave. I'm serious."

Steve threw his head back with a groan. It had been a while since he had seen Bucky this worked up about anything, so he knew it was important. But getting the admission to slip past his tongue felt morally wrong and partially impossible.

"Steve."

"Yes." He said simply, staring up at the ceiling.

"How long?"

"How long what?" Steve sighed.

"How long have you had feelings for her?"

"Since the day I met her..." Steve mumbled.

"Oh my-"Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before running his hand through his hair. "You hid it too well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve froze up as his mind ran laps around Bucky's behavior. He already knew what was coming before he could admit to it.

"You're going to hate us, but I need to tell you something..." Bucky said apologetically.

Meanwhile, you were having a fantastic time with Agent 563, Clara. Though the two of you were friendly around the compound, you never had the chance to actually sit and have a long conversation with her before. Both of you getting the chance to vent about the workplace environment and culture to someone who actually understood what it was like to experience it in the unique way you did was refreshing to say the least.

After dinner neither of you were ready to end the conversation there, so you grabbed ice cream on the way back, and walked the whole way home together. At a certain point, work was a topic long forgotten as you two bonded over other similar interests like movies, hobbies, family, you two even shared the same love for video games.

By the time you made it back to your apartment, there was a smile on your face and a lightness to your heart you hadn't felt in a while. It was obvious that work was making you feel heavy and alone for a while, but you didn't realize how bad it actually was until you got away from it.

That smile was wiped off your face when you opened the door to Steve sitting on your couch with a stiffness in his body and an anger on his face you had never seen before.

"Hey, are you alright?" You immediately asked as his head snapped over to you the second the door opened.

Alarm bells were instantly ringing. Your heart dropped into your stomach, and raced with a speed you didn't quite know was possible.

You had given Steve and Bucky a key to your place just like you had keys to theirs, but the three of you typically hung out at Steve's place. Either of them coming to your apartment was a rare occurrence, and them ever using your key was even more rare.

Steve watched you kick off your shoes and hang up your purse, he felt so many emotions all at once that he couldn't even begin to get the words out.

You hesitantly approached, he still didn't answer. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Steve questioned. His tone very obviously gave away his state of emotion, it only made you feel more anxious.

You had a suspicion what this was about, but number one rule as an agent was to never incriminate yourself. "Tell you what?"

"Don't do that with me." Steve denied. "Bucky already told me. I don't understand why you guys would do that and keep it from me."

Your posture slumped knowing that this reaction was exactly why you and Bucky decided to keep a dirty little secret from Steve. So you sat down on an armchair next to the couch he sat on so you could explain.

But, he didn't even give you a chance to defend yourself before he spoke again. "Did either of you even consider how hooking up with each other would affect me?"

"Hey now, let's get some facts straight." You didn't let him go any further. "I feel like the term hooking up is giving what we did way more credit than what it was worth, and yes, we did consider you, which is why we both agreed we weren't going to tell you."

"Great, thank you so much for the consideration. That makes me feel really secure in my friendships with both of you!" Steve said sarcastically, feeling betrayed and admittedly heartbroken beyond words.

"Wait" You shook your head. "I know that sounds bad, but you have to understand that we all have different morals and personal opinions when it comes to sex and we knew you wouldn't understand."

"What is there to not understand?" He questioned. "You two had sex with no regard to how it would effect our friendships with each other."

"First of all, it wasn't sex, there was no penetration." You corrected. "Second of all, we didn't think it would effect our friendships because that's all we are to each other."

"I don't care about the details or what actually went down between you. Had either of you told me you liked each other from the get go it wouldn't have been a problem. I would've been happy for you two." He grumbled.

"We don't like each other." You denied. "We were just at the right place at the right time, things moved fast, and that's that. There's no romance happening, nothing to make social group weird. We all know Bucky likes Natasha."

"Well it's weird now." Steve glared at you.

"What do you want me to do now? It already happened, I can't go back and change it." You noted. "Want me to suck your dick too and call it even?"

"This isn't funny and I really don't appreciate that comment." He scoffed.

"It wasn't weird for you until Bucky opened his mouth, huh?" You asked him. "Was it weird for you two weeks ago when it actually happened?"

"I don't care." He swallowed thickly.

Feeling quite taken back by his behavior, and a little more that a little annoyed that Bucky spilled the beans, your attitude came out. "I'm a grown woman capable of making grown choices, and I don't owe you an explanation of what I choose to do with my body, Steve."

"No, you don't." He agreed, but you made him snap. "But I'm feeling betrayed and disrespected by the two of you, and that, I do feel like I'm owed an explanation for."

"Are you mad at Bucky too?" You snapped right back. "Huh? Did you yell at him?"

"He told me the truth." Steve rationalized.

"Yeah, well I never lied to you." You pointed out. "And why did Bucky feel the need to tell you what we did privately? Huh? Do you feel like I'm allowed to feel betrayed and disrespected for him going against our word?"

"I'm not here to tell you how to feel. I'm here to try and rationalize any of the choices we're making right now." He raised his voice. "My friends are the only family I have, and I refuse to lose a friend I've already lost many times before over a stupid choice."

Just with that one sentence, he broke your heart. "And that right there, is exactly why I thought it was okay in the first place." You growled as all of your self defenses came rushing in to protect you from the words you always knew to be true but never wanted to admit.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm expendable to you and Bucky. I always have been." You stood up from your spot next to him. "You say you're upset because you didn't want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group but guess what? The dynamic has always been you and Bucky hanging out and me just kind've being there. You'll always choose each other, and everyone will always choose someone else over me."

"That's not true." Steve denied. Although he was seeing red with anger, your words made him sad for you.

"I'm never anyone's first choice, Steve. You'll always choose Bucky, Bucky will always choose you. My sister will choose her husband, Harvey will always choose literally anything but me. Nobody else here is willing to be my friend because it's like social suicide, and I had to completely isolate myself from my normal civilian friends for this job." You explained. "I'm the best agent so I get used and abused and harassed out of the pack, but if I become an avenger I'll be singled out as the worst one. You and Bucky claimed you'd always have my back but now I know that's not true."

"Stop saying that." Steve shook his head.

"Nobody wants me." You spat, Steve could tell you believed that to be true.

It shattered his already broken heart, because if you had even the slightest clue of how bad he wanted you, you'd never say those words again. But he couldn't tell you, it simply wasn't an option.

"Nobody wants me ever but that night, Bucky wanted me. So forgive me for latching onto any ounce of human connection I can get these days. That choice was never about you, and I'm sorry that it hurt your feelings but I'm struggling more than I ever have and right now I need to put me first."

"Bucky and I have always loved having you around."

"That might be true, but you proved my point with your own mouth." A single tear fell down your cheek, but you wiped it away just as fast as it fell. "You said you weren't willing to lose Bucky. But right now it feels like you're willing to lose me."

"Don't be mad at him." Steve shook his head.

"He had no right telling you that without consulting me first." You denied. "Unless he broke some kind of code or something there was no rea-" Your own words made reality wash over you like an angry ocean wave trying to swallow you whole. "Oh my god."

"No-" Steve shook his head.

"He broke bro code, didn't he?" You asked Steve, feeling suddenly nauseous.

Steve felt nauseous too. His brain couldn't think of anything but the truth at the moment, but he was horrified. Though he tried to formulate the correct response, nothing felt right at the moment. "You slept in my bed."

"Oh my god." You took a slow step back, unable to process what information you were just receiving. He watched as your face turned just as red as his. "You like me?"

A billion different things came to mind. So many scenarios, so many possibilities, every single time you suppressed your own feelings for Steve because you never thought a man like him could ever love you. It was wrong. Yet all this time, he was harboring a secret of his own. And even then it was still wrong.

"You slept in my bed while you had a boyfriend." Steve spoke so firmly you swore you could feel the bass vibrating the floor.

"This whole time you we're hoping I'd jump right into your arms after breaking things off with Harvey?"

Steve knew where this was going, and the look on your face was just as horrified as he felt. Your lip was wobbling, your hands were shaking, and with every statement you took a step back. "No. But I did think that there was enough happening between us that you wouldn't go for Bucky."

"I slept in your bed because I trusted you, you asshole." You cried, pointing a finger at him. "I slept in your bed while staying with Harvey because he was the only man crazy enough to actually love me and I didn't ever think anyone would be crazy enough to love me ever again."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. His jaw hung open for a moment, before it closed, then opened again. "Well then I guess you were wrong."

"I was wrong." You agreed, wiping your face once more as you watched his eyes tear up. "I trusted you to keep me safe in training, protect me against the people who are harassing me. I trusted you as a friend, a confidant. I even trusted you enough to see me naked, but I was wrong."

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you." Steve mumbled. "Because you trusted me and I didn't want to break it. Bucky didn't know."

"So let me get this straight. You had a secret that you kept from both of us, but Bucky's actions are excusable because he didn't know. My actions are inexcusable but I also didn't know, and we did the exact same thing together?" You asked. "You spend a lot of time talking shit about men's double standards around the compound for someone who turned around and is treating me the exact same way."

"I'm trying to talks through this so we can all go back to being friends."

"You we're never my friend." Your words cut through his heart like a knife. "You we're someone being nice to me in hopes of getting in my pants one day."

"No, that's not true." Steve pleaded, blinking back tears. "Our friendship means a lot to me. That's why I'm this upset in the first place."

"I don't think I can ever go back to being just friends with your or Bucky ever again." You cried. "All of you guys here are the same, I can't do this anymore."

Steve watched you clutch your stomach, as you spun on your heels and walked straight for the door. Little did he know, you felt so nauseous you were trying your hardest not to throw up.

"So that's it?" Steve asked, standing up from the couch. "You're going to throw away everything the three of us have built together as friends because we can't have a rational conversation?"

"A rational conversation? You can't even admit that you're only mad at me because you wanted to get into my pants and now you feel like you can't because Bucky got me first." You turned around to look at him. "That's all I am to anyone. That's the only relationships I've been able to form since I've gotten in this compound. You, Bucky, Harvey. I'm not a human to you guys, I might as well just be a glory hole."

"You're misunderstanding me." Steve shook his head, eyebrows raising upward like a sad puppy.

"That makes two of us." You turned back around and grabbed your packed duffel near the door that you always kept for emergencies.

"I care about you, you know that right?"

"It sure doesn't feel like it right now." You denied his claim.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked. "This is your house."

"The compound has never felt like home to me." The door swung open. You didn't even look back at him before stepping through the doorway. "Don't worry about where I'm going, just say the fuck away from me."

And just like that, the door slammed behind you and rattled the ground. You set off like a storm on the other side, and Steve was left on his own to crumble. Only when he was sure you were gone for good did he let tears fall down his face.

Trying your absolute hardest to hold it together you rushed through the compound hallways, desperately trying to avoid seeing anyone you knew before you made it to your car.

You didn't have it in you to have a face to face conversation with Bucky at the moment, but you did feel like you needed to tell him that the friendship was over, so you called him instead.

"Hey, bug." He answered sympathetically.

"Why did you tell him?" You cried.

"I had to." There was a deep sigh from the phone line. "What did he tell you?"

"Why the fuck are you protecting him?" You asked. It was admittedly a little harsh, but Steve had already amped you up.

"So he told you everything." Bucky stated. "I figured out he was in love with you last night. I couldn't in good conscience keep our secret anymore. He needed to know because the longer we kept it from him the worse this would've been."

"He doesn't love me, Bucky." You denied. "What he did wasn't love. It was control, and it was power, but it's not love."

"I can tell you're upset with him, but I don't think that was his intention." Bucky calmly denied. "Give it a few days to settle, alright? You can be mad at us all you want and I understand why, but emotions are high right now and it seems like both you and Steve are villianizing each other."

"I'm going to be gone for the weekend." You stated, needing to set firm boundaries. "I love you, but you hurt me and I need to get away."

"I'm sorry, bug. I really am." He apologized.

"You, Harvey, and Steve will all be blocked from reaching me unless it's during work hours. And as of now, I can't be a friend of yours."

"I understand" Bucky accepted the repercussions of his actions, though he was sad about it. "I hope you know we care a lot about you. I'm sorry this is all happening this way, but I still want you to be safe. Will you let someone know where you're going? Maybe Commander Bennett?"

"Yeah, I will." You agreed, feeling relieved that at least Bucky was being rational. "I hope in a little while we can figure this out between you and I, but it's going to take some time."

"I hope so too." He agreed. "Stay safe, and be smart. I'm here for you whenever you're ready."

You hung up, drove off, and the second the compound was in your rear view mirror it felt like the weight of the world was off your shoulders.

The weekend came and went simultaneously way too fast, yet painfully slow at the same time. You stayed with your sister who welcomed you with widely opened arms, and really took the time to listen to you when you spoke. She let you get it all out, she wiped your tears, then by morning you'd put on a brave face for Luca.

Spending a lot of quality time with him was truly the only reason you hadn't fully lost your mind. By Monday you felt well enough to face the shit show that was work, but it didn't last very long.

You had made it a whopping 4 hours into the work week before getting sent to Steve's office with an ice pack pressed to your cheek and Commander Bennett opening the door for you.

Steve looked up as the two of you entered, but your eyes were glued to the floor. You didn't need to look around to see where the chair was. You already knew.

He hoped that Bennett couldn't feel the thick tension that filled the room, but it was unusual for him to follow you to his office, and he did take note of how bad you looked.

Well, unfortunately for him he always thought you were stupidly beautiful, but your eyes were swollen. You looked exhausted, drained, and nothing like your usual fiery self.

"We need to do something about 212." Commander Bennett cut straight to the chase. "We can't keep cutting into her work time and having her get hurt because 212 and all his awful friends are picking on her."

"What happened?" Steve asked, trying to see what was under the ice pack.

"I saw them trip her with my own eyes. I don't know if they thought I wasn't watching, or if they thought they were being sly enough that I wouldn't notice, but this cannot continue." He stood firm. "Poor thing smacked her face against the floor, but she still is claiming that reprimanding them will make it worse. So what's the solution?"

Steve sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Do you have any ideas, Commander?"

"Give them one more strike. Let them all know that if they pull this again one more time before evaluation we will disqualify them from taking the test." He suggested. "That includes physical, and verbal attacks."

"That's a really good idea, thank you." Steve agreed. "I'll talk to them today."

"Are you comfortable with that, 306?" Bennett asked you.

"Yes, sir." Your voice was hoarse.

"I'm going to give her the option of cutting her work day short or continuing her training, but no matter what we all know she doesn't need more training." He noted. "I'll leave her with you so you guys can figure out your schedules."

"Thank you." Steve said politely.

Bennett left and the door clicked shut behind him, but your eyes stayed glued to the floor. Your options were go to your apartment and sleep the rest of the miserable daylight away, or spend two hours alone in a room with Steve.

You both already knew what the choice was going to be. There was no need to discuss the schedule change.

Steve knew you hated his guts right now, and he was still feeling hurt by you, but it took a few moments for it to dawn on him that he still needed to be a boss and a leader regardless. So he put his best foot forward.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

There was barely any compassion in his voice, he might as well have been a robot, so you didn't bother responding. You didn't even bother looking at him.

"Would you like to talk about the incident?" He pushed.

"No, Captain." You responded, coming to the same awareness that he was still your boss.

Your use of his title and refusal to look at him felt like a shot to the heart. "Would you like to be relieved of duties until tomorrow?"

"Yes, Captain."

"You are dismissed."

Just like the last time he saw you, you walked out on him without as much as a glance back knowing the next time you'd be forced to see him would be evaluation day.

Next Part: pink peonies

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[fairysluna]

INVISIBLE STRING | Chapter 5: it's nice to have a friend.

New Girl!AU — A disastrous break up led you to them; three guys living in a huge apartment and in need of a new roommate who helped with the way too expensive rent.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY — Your best friend finally visits your new home, but in a terrible moment. As she takes all the attention, you find yourself locked in your room with an unexpected company. New feelings and confusions might appear.

TAGS — alcohol consumption, baela makes her first appearance, mentions of virginity loss, awkwardness between aegon and reader bc they're dumb af, use of y/n. If something is missing, let me know!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE — PLEASE READ THIS!! Just to clarify, Baela and Rhaena are Velaryon, just Laena's daughters not Daemon's, Jace and Luke are Strong, and Aegon, Aemond, Daeron, Helaena and Rhaenyra are Targaryens; this means only the Targs and Strongs are related. Thank you for reading!!🤍

WORD COUNT — 4.6k

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤenglish is not my first language.

Lucerys’ big, blue eyes were staring at you as you read through his latest English test trying to see and correct the things in which he had failed. Jacaerys had asked you to help him with his studies after their mother threatened to ground him if he came home with another bad grade. In return for your work, he would do the dishes for you for an entire month; and you couldn't say no to that.

“Alright, a C+ is not terrible, but it can be better if you really put effort into studying,” you advised him. “You're a smart kid, you can definitely get an A+.”

“It’s so hard for me, there's too many concepts. I don't even know what a funnel introduction is,” he murmured, bumped out.

“It's fine, Luke, I'll help you study for your next test and you'll get at least a B+, I promise,” you said, smiling softly at him.

For a moment he just stared at you, being completely silent as he placed his chin on his hand while leaning on the table. You lifted your eyebrow and your smile slowly started to disappear.

Oh, gods, not again.

“You have a beautiful smile, you know?” he suddenly said, taking you by surprise and making you remember his little crush towards you.

“You need to stop trying to flirt with me, Luke,” you warned him. “I'm too old for you.”

“It was just a compliment,” he shrugged.

“Luke…” you said his name with a scolding tone.

“It is!” he assured you.

“Well, then thank you. That's very sweet of you.”

The main door opened just when you finished talking, Aegon was soon walking inside the loft with his hands holding at least five bags, each filled with the groceries for the month. You excused yourself before standing up and going to help him.

Things, surprisingly, were not awkward at all anymore. You were grateful for that, knowing that all your business with Aegon was now forgotten since what happened a few days ago. You both agreed, however, that you would not say anything to the rest of the guys, just so they wouldn't get the wrong impression. You were pleased, though, because now your relationship with Aegon was better, and you knew he trusted you a tiny bit more now. You were happy about it, too.

“Want some help with that?” you asked as you tried to grab some of the bags.

Aegon immediately shook his head, telling you it was okay as he moved the bags away from your hands, even when he seemed to be struggling a bit.

“Don’t worry about it,” he breathlessly said. “There's a sad, hot girl looking for you out there, you should probably go and see what's that about.” He walked past you and left you standing right in the middle of the hall.

You watched him enter the kitchen and leave the bags on the floor before he went to the fridge and drank orange juice straight out of the bottle. You sighed before you curiously peaked to the entrance only to find your best friend standing there with her backpack hanging from her shoulder. Her eyes were red — it seemed as if she was crying the whole way there, her lower lip was quivering as she held back her sobs.

“Baela?” you asked as you walked towards her, wrapping your arms around her as she laid her head on your shoulder, weeping against your shirt. “Hey, babe, what's wrong? What happened?”

“Garett and I fought today,” she sobbed, “It was bad, I took my thing and I left.”

Your hands went to her hair, your fingertips soothingly caressing her head as you comforted her. “It’s okay,” you cooed, grabbing her face and wiping her tears away with your thumbs. “Let's go talk in my room, alright? Come on.”

Baela obediently nodded as you guided her through the loft with your hand on her lower back. Aegon gave you a confused look and you just shrugged as a response. He followed you with his eyes until you disappeared around the corner and were out of his sight.

“How did you know the address?” you questioned, curiously.

“You sent it to me when you came for the first time just in case they would kidnap you or murder you,” she explained as she sniffed.

“Oh, right…” you muttered.

“It's a really nice apartment, you were lucky to find it.”

“I know, and it's quite cheap too.”

“I can't believe there's three men living here-”

All of the sudden, Jace walked out of his room; his sleepy face and swollen eyes would be proof enough to know that he had just woken up. However, what actually caught your attention was the way his body froze when he laid eyes on Baela, and also the way that she stiffened up when she saw him standing in front of her. His eyes widened as his lips slightly parted in what seemed to be a silent gasp.

“Baela…” he murmured. Suddenly you felt invisible.

“Hi,” she said in a sigh. You frowned, confused.

Standing there between them, you found yourself being taken aback by their reaction, about the way they looked at each other as if their breaths were caught up in their throats. You glanced at Baela, then at Jace, trying to find some explanation to this awkward situation, but you found nothing more than sparkling eyes in them.

“What- Did I miss something?” you asked, interrupting the moment and feeling Baela's stare falling on you.

“No,” Jace quickly replied. You could almost see him blushing. “Nothing happened.”

“Weren't we going to your room?” Baela turned to tell you, and you nodded. “Alright, let's go then.”

You resumed your path towards your room, and as soon as you crossed the door, Baela closed it behind her back. Suddenly, all traces of sadness were now replaced by something new; nervousness, perhaps. You sat on your bed staring at your friend who was now looking at you with widened eyes. You were beyond confused, filled with questions and doubts that needed to be answered before your mind would explode.

“Listen,” she started.

“I think there is a big elephant in the room right now.”

“There's a lot to unpack.”

“I can tell,” you replied. “You know Jace, don't you?”

“I do,” she nodded. “I actually know him very well. Very well.”

You stopped for a second. “How well?”

“Remember my time in Dragonstone as a camp counselor?”

Oh Gods.

“Yes…” you muttered, unsure of whether you wanted to hear the rest of the answer or not.

“Remember what happened during that summer?” she questioned, surprisingly shy.

“I do.”

“Well, it was Jacaerys,” she confessed.

Your eyes widened as you heard her saying it and confirmed it as if it wasn't breaking news, then your mouth dropped. A gasp escaped from your lips as you stood up from the bed and walked towards her.

“Shut up!” you said out of surprise. “It was Jace? That Jace?”

There was a moment of silence before Baela nodded and said, “uh… yes.”

“What?!” you yelled.

“Babe, keep it quiet, please,” she whispered.

“I thought Jace was a virgin,” you confessed, talking in loud whispers, still in shock.

“I can assure you that he's not.”

You covered your mouth as you saw her getting flustered by the situation. The whole thing with her boyfriend, and whatever had happened between them two, had been quickly forgotten by you two, because now you were trying to make sense of how small the world really was.

“I can't believe this!” you exclaimed.

“Well, imagine my situation,” Baela said, scandalized. “I just found out that, out of the billions of people in the world, my best friend is living with the guy that took my virginity during summer camp!”

“It's kinda romantic, though,” you confessed. Baela noticed the dreamy look on your eyes as you spoke; she was already used to it. “Maybe it's destiny.”

“You're insane,” she chuckled.

“Just imagine, Baela! What are the odds?”

“I'm dating Garett!”

“You were crying because of him a few minutes ago!” you reminded her. “What did that douche do anyway?”

Baela took a deep breath, rolling her eyes as she remembered everything. You knew a part of her was slightly embarrassed to tell you, only because she knew you would say ‘I told you so’. She was too stubborn to admit she had been wrong about him all this time.

“He got jealous because he went through my phone and found a picture I took with a friend from work,” she explained.

“He went through your phone?” you repeated, widening your eyes. “Gods, Baela, what are you waiting to break up with him?”

“I don't know!” she replied in despair. “Maybe I love him too much.”

“Whatever you two have going on, I can assure you that it's not love. You deserve better than him, and you know it.”

“I will break up with him… some day,” she promised, doubting. “But now, I need a place to stay tonight because I can't go back to my apartment if he's there. Can you help me with that?”

“Of course,” you immediately replied, “you can stay as long as you want.”

“Thank you,” she sighed.

“Though he should be the one looking for shelter,” you couldn't help but to speak up. “It's your apartment.”

“I know, but I'm doing what I can, alright? I feel like there's a lot of shit going on right now. Can't we just drink our weight in booze?”

“I- I don't know, babe,” you slowly said, “I have a bunch of papers to grade and next class we'll revise them and-”

“Hey, it's okay,” she shrugged, “Maybe one of those guys will make me some company.”

A soft knock was heard and soon Aegon opened the door of your room. He was looking tired and uninterested as usual. Baela crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking at him up and down. Aegon didn't even notice such a gesture, because all his attention was on you.

“I brought pizza from the supermarket,” he informed you. “They’re getting out of the oven, so come and have dinner. You can also come, if you want,” he spoke to Baela, finally glancing at her.

“We'll be there in a minute,” you replied.

Aegon left as quickly as he arrived, and your attention returned to your friend, who was arching one of her eyebrows.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing…” she shrugged, but her tone made you a bit suspicious. “Shall we go now? Crying makes me hungry.”

“Alright, let's go… I'll introduce you to Aemond.”

She grabbed your hand and you guided her through the hall until you were back in the dining room. Lucerys looked up from his plate and his mouth fell as he saw Baela walking confidently towards the table. One single glance at him and you sighed relieved to know that his crush towards you was now replaced by his crush towards Baela.

Aemond —who was wearing a kitchen apron and had his long silver hair in a bun— also appeared with two pizzas in his hands, being followed by Jacaerys who carried one. As they put them on the table, you cleared your throat trying to make them acknowledge your presence in the room.

They both stood still as they saw her.

“Aemond, Luke,” you started, “this is my best friend Baela. She'll be staying with us tonight if that is not an issue.”

“Of course not.” Aemond stepped in, removing the oven mitts from his right hand and stretching it to reach hers. “I'm Aemond Targaryen,” he introduced himself with a soft smile as he brought her hand towards his lips and left a kiss there.

Jacaerys rolled his eyes.

“How chivalrous,” Baela commented, pleased with that small interaction.

“Shall we take a seat now?” you proposed, going to your usual spot.

“Where do I sit?” Baela asked.

“Wherever your ass fits, but not in my chair,” Aegon suddenly said, appearing out of nowhere and taking his seat in the spot right next to you.

You gave him a bad look as he sat down.

“You can sit beside Aemond.” You pointed at the empty chair right next to him. Baela did what you said and smiled at him politely.

A quick glance at Jacaerys and you noticed how his jaw slightly clenched and how his eyes would, occasionally, look at them. You narrowed your eyes, noticing there was something going on there probably related to what you had just found out.

“Well, can we start eating now?” Aegon asked. “I'm fucking starving.”

Without waiting for an answer, he took a slice of the pizza and opened his mouth to eat almost half of it in a single bite. Aemond looked at him as if he was scolding him for his terrible manners, but you could only giggle at that.

“Do you guys happen to have beer?” she curiously wondered, staring at Aemond. “I'm in need of some.”

“There's a couple in the fridge, and-”

“No, no. Those are mine, I bought them,” Aegon interrupted.

His lips were covered by stains of tomato sauce, and you gave him a napkin so he would clean himself. He quickly took it and cleaned his mouth.

“Aegon, she's a guest,” Aemond said.

“And?”

“And you need to be polite.”

“I'm sharing my pizza with all of you, I think I'm being polite enough,” he argued as he pointed at the three pizzas on the table.

“I can go and buy some beer,” Jacaerys suddenly offered, “uh… there's a store around the corner, I can grab some beers for you.”

“That's so thoughtful, Jace,” Baela thanked him.

“You guys need to be careful,” you warned them.

“Why?” Jace questioned.

“It's just that your brother is here, and he is a minor-”

“I’m sixteen,” he quickly replied.

“Which means you have to wait two more years to legally drink,” you reminded him.

“Listen, it's my free night, and I don't want to listen to music or smell a beer tonight,” Aegon groaned, interrupting the conversation.

“No one is inviting you to join, Aegon,” Jace murmured.

You gave him a bad look. “Don't be mean.”

Of course no one noticed, but Aegon looked down at his lap just so he would hide the faint rose blush that appeared on his cheeks.

“Y/n will be busy tonight, so maybe you guys can give me some company,” she proposed to Aemond and Jacaerys, who immediately nodded.

“Can I be there too?” Luke asked.

“As long as you stay away from the alcohol,” Baela told him.

“Fine,” he sighed.

“Then you can join us,” she cheerfully said.

An hour was all they needed to create their own personal little pub. You were in your room, the door closed and your eyes feeling tired from reading so much - especially when you had to almost guess what the poorly written words were. The weariness was starting to show as you would continuously jawn and rub your eyes, trying to stay focused on your task.

You saw the clock. 11pm. As you listened to the faded music coming from the living room, you missed the days when you were able to stay awake until sunrise. Perhaps you were getting old.

Or maybe you just needed coffee.

The pen in your hand dropped as you stood up, stretching your limbs and sighing while you put on your comfy slippers. You left your room and rushed into the kitchen, finding Jace staring at Aemond and Baela sitting on the couch. He looked dissociated, as if his mind was giving him a thousand thoughts in a second, and even when you saw him distracted, you asked him:

“Where are the coffee pods?”

Jacaerys’ eyes wouldn't even dare to leave Baela. You would notice how he was nervously tapping the kitchen counter and biting his lip. It was quite obvious that he didn't even hear a word of what you've just said.

“How long have you known her?” He suddenly asked.

“Who? Baela?” you spoke as you looked into the drawers.

“Yes,” he said as he finally turned around to look at you.

“She's been my best friend since sixth grade, why- Oh, here they are,” you mumbled once you found what you were looking for.

You grabbed the coffee pod and put it in the coffee machine, waiting next to it for the cup to be filled.

“So you know,” he assumed. “Of course you do, she's your best friend.”

“What do I know?”

“That we- you know…” he shyly said. “Summer Camp, Dragonstone… uh, sex.”

“Well, she just told me, actually…” you confessed. “I mean, I knew how she lost it, but she never told me the name of the guy, so I didn't know you two had met before. Also, you've never mentioned anything about that camp before, so...”

“Gods, she looks even more beautiful than I remembered,” he said with a shy smile, looking at Baela and then back at you. “Shit, she's here and my hair looks hideous, I don't know why I cut my curls off, I feel like Samson.”

“You look fine, Jace.”

“Yeah, you say that to Aegon everyday, how can I believe you?”

You were about to open your mouth and say that you actually meant it each time you would say that to Aegon, but, somehow, admitting that information made you feel embarrassed. You just decided to change the subject before the silence turned into an awkward one.

“Listen, you do you, I'll be in my room-”

“Wait, no,” he interrupted you. “You need to stay here.”

“Why?”

“Because I don't- How am I supposed to get close to Baela if you're gone?” He asked you, widening his eyes with panic.

“The same way you did when you first met her, isn't it easy?”

“You have to understand,” he said, looking deadly serious. “17 year old me, is not the same person as 22 year old me. I've grown weak.”

“Find that inner 17 year old you,” you shrugged, as you started to slowly walk away. “Best of luck, my friend.”

You walked out of the kitchen with the cup of hot coffee in your hand. As you passed by the living room, you gave a threatening look to Luke who was too close to the beers in the center table. As a response, he lifted his hands in a gesture of innocence, and looked at you with those blue, puppy eyes. You sighed, resuming your way towards your room and humming the song that was playing back in the living room.

Once you returned, it was a complete surprise to see Aegon laying on your bed with his computer on his lap and a bowl of chips on his side. He was shoeless, in his pajamas, looking so comfortable that you even thought for a small second that you accidentally entered his room instead of yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, as you walked towards your desk and left the coffee cup there.

“I'm watching a movie and they aren't letting me listen because their music is too loud,” he explained.

“Why don't you use subtitles?”

He scoffed, “I'm watching a movie, not reading a fucking book.”

“Aegon, you need to stop appearing in my room,” you mumbled. He paused his movie, sitting up on the bed. “Last time was a disaster.”

“I won't be a bother to you, I swear it. I'll be quiet and let you do your thing,” he told you, looking at you with his puppy, lilac eyes. You couldn't say no.

“Fine,” you mumbled, sitting in your chair before you resumed your work. “Keep the volume down too, please.”

“Alright,” he said, and each started to focus on your own thing.

You gave him one last look before you turned around and grabbed your pen. The music was muffled thanks to the thickness of the walls, and all you could hear was the soft voices of the actors coming out of Aegon's computer. It was quite relaxing, there was no awkward silence or anything as such. It felt comfortable and nice.

His presence felt nice.

Suddenly, you heard him laughing out loud, and it was contagious enough to make you smile, distracting you from your work. You turned around only to see him covering his face with one of your pillows, somehow you thought it was cute.

“What are you watching?” you asked as you stood up and sat on your bed next to him.

“Pineapple Express,” he said between giggles, still laughing at one of the scenes.

“Can I watch too?”

“I thought you were busy working,” he replied, looking up at you.

You sighed, “yeah, you’re right.”

Aegon looked at you for a few seconds before pausing the movie and sitting up.

“You look stressed,” he pointed out. “Want some help with whatever you're doing?”

“Would you help me?” you asked, incredulously.

“Yeah, why not? I wanted to be a teacher when I was little,” he confessed, “until I realized I was supposed to go to university to do it.”

“You haven't gone to university?”

“I have, actually,” he nodded as he spoke. “My father forced me to go. I never finished it though, I dropped out.”

“What program?”

“Business administration,”

“Was it fun?”

“The most boring shit ever,” he replied, and you chuckled.

He looked at you as you laughed, and a small —almost nonexistent— smile appeared on his face. It was an involuntary gesture.

“Why did he force you to study something you didn't want?” you curiously asked.

You knew that perhaps you were overstepping a line, but it was the first time he ever said something about him to you, and you were craving to know more. You just couldn't help it.

“Alright, what is this? A fucking interview?”

“Oh, come on!” you insisted. “I've seen you naked already, remember? I know more of you than Aem and Jace.”

“Bold of you to assume they haven't seen me naked yet,” he chuckled. “Will you want help with those hieroglyphics or not?”

“Don't be mean,” you scolded him. “They are just learning how to properly write.”

“Which grade is it?”

“Third.”

“Amateurs…” he mumbled.

“Stop it, they're kids,” you giggled.

“No excuse.”

“Alright, I'm gonna keep going before it gets too late,” you said as you stood up.

Aegon, out of impulse, stretched his hand to grab yours, stopping you from moving away. You turned around, failing to hide your surprise. He seemed unfazed by his own action on the outside, but on the inside he was panicking and desperately wondering why he did that.

“I can help you if you want,” he offered again.

You had to take a second to process it and answer him.

“It's- it's fine,” you shrugged. “You keep watching your movie, don't worry.”

He pressed his lips; an awkward smile.

“Alright,” he said, and let go of your hand.

“Thank you, though.” As you pronounced, Aegon looked back at the screen, almost as if he was suddenly ashamed of looking at you.

You tried to say something, but you just pressed your lips together, sealing them so they wouldn't utter a word. You turned around, and sat back on your chair. For a second you just stayed there, staring at the papers scattered around the desk, and thinking about that sudden gesture that was so odd coming from him.

You couldn't help but to ask yourself whether it was a good idea to have rejected his help, thinking that maybe this would push him away once again.

You were overthinking everything, as usual.

As you turned around, you noticed that Aegon was already with his eyes on you. Nervously, you cleared your throat.

“What?” He asked.

“Uh, what?” you repeated.

“What's wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You've been staring at your desk without moving for like a minute,” he explained. “Are you suffering a stroke or what?”

“No, I just- uh…”

“What?” he interrupted you.

“You're not mad at me, right?�� The suddenness of the question made Aegon chuckle and think it was a joke, but after seeing your serious expression he realized you weren't actually kidding.

“Why would I- Listen, if I didn't get mad at you for seeing me naked, why would I get angry because of this?”

“Actually, you did get mad at me for it,” you murmured.

“Well, I'm not mad at you now, okay? Now chill out.”

“Alright, I'm so-”

“Don't apologize,” he stopped you before you could even finish. Then, he softly chuckled. “Why do you act like that?”

“Like what?”

“Weird.”

“To be honest, the first month here I thought you hated me,” you admit, “sometimes I still do, actually.”

“Nonsense,” he scoffed. “I wouldn't be your friend if I hated you, would I?”

“I'm your friend?” You repeated, widening your eyes with emotion.

Aegon looked at you weirded out, “of course you are, you dumbass. I saw you naked, we live together; I think I had no choice, actually.”

You smiled.

“Well, it's nice being your friend.”

“It is,” he agreed.

Baela suddenly opened the door in a scandalous way. You jumped in your seat, taking all your attention towards her; she wasn't drunk, but she was certainly a bit tipsy. Aegon immediately closed his computer and grabbed his now empty bowl of chips, standing up from your bed.

“Guess the party's over, so I'll go to my room now,” he announced. Some tiny part of you didn't want him to go just yet. You liked having his company. “Good night, y/n.”

“Good night, Aegon,” you sighed.

“Goodnight, Bella.”

“It's Baela,” she corrected him.

“Yeah, whatever.”

He left the room in a hurry as Baela rolled her eyes. Soon, she went to her backpack and took an oversized shirt she used as pajamas, all while staring at you with a subtle smirk on her face.

“What?” you asked.

“You need to tell me what's going on between you and him.” She removed her clothes and put on the shirt.

“What do you mean?”

“Don't play dumb,” she murmured as she went to the bed and laid beneath the covers. “Girl, you have bewitched the guy!”

“What? That's- that's nonsense.”

“Look at the floor, there's a path of his drool all the way from your bed to the door.”

“Baela, he's not- he doesn't do relationships.”

“Oh, but he would definitely do you, you know?” She said imitating your tone.

“Alright…” you muttered, rolling your eyes.

“You need to shoot your shot there, he's hot.” You felt the heat running to your cheeks, and of course she immediately noticed it. You hated that she knew you too well. “Oh my! You're blushing!”

“Baela, that's enough.”

“I can definitely sense a vibe there.”

“There's nothing vibing here.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Just go to sleep, okay?” you groaned, turning towards the desk.

“Goodnight, love,” she said. You could hear her smirk on her voice.

“Goodnight,” you simply said, sighing tiredly.

The thought of Aegon being into you was too far-fetched to be truthful. He had just started to see you as a friend, and even when he saw you naked he didn't try to make a move or make comments about it that would give you sogns of his attraction towards you. In fact, he was rather indifferent about it. On the other hand, even when a part of you thought of Aegon as someone handsome, he wasn't your type at all; too immature, perhaps, it would never work between you two.

You shook your head, weirded out with the mere idea of being thinking about it. At the end of the day, Aegon was just another of your friends… right?

BOLD MEANS I COULDN'T TAG YOU.

INVISIBLE STRING TAG LIST — @aemondssiut @tillyt04 @doublesparrows @afro-hispwriter @chrisevansslutttt2 @fan-goddess @trshngyn @hiatuswhore @heavenly1927 @deltamoon666 @sahvlren @kravitzwhore @watercolorskyy @n4tforlife @lovevellichor @f4ll-for-you @namelesslosers @jvpit3rs @marytargaryen @geminidas @aphroditeisamilf @dixie-elocin @dragonslutblog

(if you want to be removed or added to the tag list, send me an ask or dm me.🤍)

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[hiramaris]

Kiss It Off Me

CHAPTER 4

Chapter Summary:

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.” “No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer:  I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of neglect

Y/n, I’m not really good at writing a note or apologizing in general. I just… feel bad about how our introduction to one another went downhill which I know is my fault. I know it's kind of rude, too to take someone's photo without their consent so, here you go. It's not the best photo but it's not, like, the worse either. And you look like you're in one with nature so the photographer in me couldn't help but to take the shot.  Anyway, if you have time away from your farm, you can drop by at 2 Willow Lane in the morning or whatever so I can make it up to you somehow. It’s cool if you don’t want to if you’re, like, really mad still.   P.S I don’t wake up until 8. Need my beauty sleep! - Haley <3

Spring 10

"Earlier, I was getting my mail."

Haley's chewing came to a halt as George began to speak. How odd. George wasn’t one to talk during meals. She knew this because there was never a time she missed mandatory weekly meals with the Mullners.

Nonetheless, she leaned a bit closer to hear him.

"I couldn't because of my...” he trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Anyway, Pam's kid tried to help me, and I ended up shouting at her." "My goodness, George!” Gran Evelyn gasped softly, placing a hand over her heart. “Why did you do that to poor Penny?" "I— she pushed my wheelchair and touched my mail.” He averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at the three pairs of eyes focused on him. If Haley didn’t know him any better, he almost looked embarrassed rather than angry. “I... I didn't like it when people act like I'm so nimble." Granny shook her head in sympathy. "Still, honey... She's just trying to help." "I know, I know," George grumbled, stabbing his fork into a fried mushroom. "The new farmer even pointed it out to me." He looked up, his eyes boring into his wife. "I apologized anyway. It was just a bad day, and I happened to project my anger onto her."

At the mention of the new farmer, Haley perked up. Not to sound obsessed or anything or like she has been counting at all, but it had been almost two days since she had caught a whiff of that familiar scent of dirt and freshly cut grass that you seemed to radiate even from a mile away. If Emily’s going to twist her arm behind her back, then maybe she’ll be able to get Haley to admit that she’s the one doing the avoiding right now.

The fact that it was Haley herself who wrote a note for you to come by to make up for her rude behavior, and then when you did drop by immediately a day after, Haley would make sure she had plenty of excuses to not meet you at the door and have Emily answer on her behalf. It’s been days and she’s running out of reasons to tell Emily why she couldn’t meet her visitor, and it wouldn’t take a genius to know who’s avoiding whom.

How could she not though?

How can someone recover from a situation like that which was probably scraped off from a romantic script of a movie because it’s too predictable, and cringe?

How can you look at someone ever again knowing you had seen that face in mere inches, breath tingling the cheeks and then act like you weren’t fazed by it all?

Most importantly, how do you act after that? Apparently, it didn’t seem like a problem for you as you were so busy hustling and bustling in and out of the farm and into the town. And if you weren't busy doing your chores, then you were always dragged down by Sam’s little brother to their little class arrangement with Penny and often found you hanging out with them by the big tree just outside Haley’s home which is why she knows not because she’s actively searching for you, duh.

Okay, maybe you did try to approach her, and Haley's acting like the two of you had a one-night stand by avoiding you like the plague. Could you blame her, though?

If it wasn't embarrassing enough, she even accused you of trying to buy her friendship with the daily gifts you gave her, accompanied by that annoyingly cheerful smile that seemed permanently sculpted on your face.

What am I even supposed to think in that situation? Even Alex, her best friend for years, wasn’t consistent with giving her gifts. The doofus often forgets special occasions, but that's a separate issue altogether.

To her, you’re really just an enigma.

And she can’t help but be drawn to the mysterious, goody-two-shoes persona you’re sporting.

She shook her head when she realized she’d been zoning out longer than she warranted. Evelyn is still giving George a piece of her mind for what he did. Haley’s so sure he’s regretting his decision by now opening this topic to his wife.

However, it was clear to Haley who was in the wrong here.

"If I may put in my two cents...?" she interjected, unable to hold back.

Alex raised a curious brow at her but remained silent. Granny, on the other hand, nodded encouragingly. "Go ahead, deary."

"I think George's reaction was valid," Haley began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Penny touched your wheelchair and mail without consent, regardless of her good intentions, George." And as an afterthought, she added, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice, "And the new farmer agreed with her? She should have known better."

"Look at you, Hay. Queen of consent!" Alex teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "I love a girl who knows her boundaries."

Of course, the doofus would choose this time to speak.

"Haha," she rolled her eyes at a smirking Alex. He sure knows what buttons to push. "Asking consent is a bare minimum, you goof. You should practice it more often." "Hey!" "Hng," George grumbled inaudibly. "Little Miss Farmer did say that."

"Say what, dear?" "That Pam's kid should have asked me first.” George clarified. “But I should have handled it a little better, too. Can't say that she's wrong."

Despite his use of tone, he didn’t sound too upset. More like he’s in between of unable to believe that someone has the courage to stand up to him and tell him he’s wrong and still respect him as an elder, or being mad at this new farmer for sticking up her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Either way, a George that isn’t grumpy is a win-win. So, they all will probably take it as it is.

"I'm glad you thought so too, dear." See? Even Granny thinks so, too. It’s better to have a plate full of her infamous cookies (and leek if you’re George) than to have a grumpy George on your plate. "Here, have some sauté leek."

George's face brightens up considerably. "I thought we don't have anymore from the pantry?"

"Miss Y/n dropped some earlier. Said to help cook your favorite dish. Isn’t she a sweetheart?”

"Hmm... I guess she's really something else then."

"I told you so, dear."

"Agree!" Alex raises a thumbs up. "She even knows how to play grid ball! She's new yet she's already better than the men here combined."

"That's lovely, deary. I hope she also influences you to read those books I gave you. I heard she's infatuated with books as Miss Penny does." "Yes, granny," Alex grumbled against his spoon.

Spring 12

She didn’t expect to see you so soon.

It’s not like she wants to avoid you forever. Ugh.

Why is this so difficult?

Her whole Spring routine is now in shambles because of you and your inability to dress nice, spreading your nasty farmer smell and being all happy smiles around children, elders, and women like some sort of Casanova and it’s infuriating!

“Hay?” Emily’s voice calling out from the kitchen stops her from her silent stewing. Haley was about to get up from her seat when Emily's voice continued, "did you clean the cushions like I told you yesterday?"

Her expression immediately turned sour, “I just cleaned them last week!”

The clanging from the kitchen stops, and the thudding of footsteps came closer. In an instant, Emily was standing in front of her with her spatula in hand.

“Yes, that’s last week. What about this week then?”

Haley rose to her feet, indignant. No freaking way she’s cleaning them again. “I always clean under the cushions and you damn well know it!" She jutted a perfectly manicured finger in Emily's direction. "It's YOUR turn this week!"

Emily scoffed at that. “You’re being childish, Haley. I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it.”

Haley rolled her eyes, feeling frustrated that Emily always played the responsible one. Just because she had a job outside the house, she acted like she was the only one doing anything. Haley does, too! She cooks, washes the dishes, does her own laundry, and cleans the house! But of course, Emily isn’t around enough to see all that because she has work and she’s busy thinking Haley’s lazy ass is just lounging in the house doing nothing all day!

“But that’s not the point!” Haley crossed her arms, a flash of irritation on her face. She wasn't going to let Emily get away with this. “We agreed to have schedules specifically for this and you’re not following it!”

Emily's eyes flickered with frustration. “Would it kill you to do them now? I had a rough shift yesterday.”

"You can't just pass off your responsibilities onto me every time you had a tough day at work. We made a schedule for a reason."

"I know, I know. But I just need a break today." Emily sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.

The truth sets out then. She had a rough night and she passes the job onto Haley and made her feel guilty for it. Never mind that they agreed to have alternate schedules to do this specific job to avoid arguments yet here they are.

“Absolutely no—”

“Hello?”

Of fucking course, the farmer chooses that time to knock on their door.

Emily must have noticed the alarmed look written clearly on her face, making her smirk.

Oh, boy.

“Come in, Y/n/n! Haley’s up already.”

“Good mor—” You did a double take seeing a clearly upset Haley and an equally pissed Emily. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Haley admitted bluntly, crossing her arms. A flash of recognition passed her eyes when she thought of an idea. A good one that’s for sure. “Since you’re a hard worker and all, I bet you’ll understand my point of view here.”

“Haley,” Emily warned. Haley ignores her, deciding to shift her attention to the newcomer.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighs in exasperation, before offering you a kind smile. “I’m really sorry to involve you in this, Y/n/n. Haley,” she shot her a dirty look, “is complaining because I asked her to clean the cushions—”

“— which you should be doing because it’s your schedule, not mine yet you’re shifting the blame to me.” Haley finishes for her. She turns to you, further proving her point. “It’s important to mention that I already cleaned them last week.”

“Haley…”

“Shut it, Em. I want to hear what she has to say. What’s the verdict?”

Haley may seem cool outside but she’s actually hoping for you to side her on this one. She knew she was on the right side. If you were to side with Emily, then that’s like a double edge of crap in some way and Haley refuses to bleed in front of you two.

You were silent for a good second, chewing your lips, deep in thought. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the sisters.

“Haley,” you prompted, voice slow and measured. Haley already knew at this point whom you sided with. “Why not have this be your one weekly job?”

Not that it’s important but it stings.

Haley turns to retreat to her room, but you must have noticed the look of utter disappointment on her face. You grabbed Haley's hand in panic, halting her in her tracks. The blonde couldn't help but freeze at the sudden touch. "W-wait. I’m not siding on anyone," You quickly clarified, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Haley raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Sure," she replied flatly.

“I just thought it would be the best course of action, so you don’t have to argue over it again. If you took this job, Emily won’t bother you again with cleaning the bathroom every two days. Isn’t that right, Em?”

“Yeah!” Emily agrees immediately. “Wait, what?”

Haley turns and finds you smiling down at her, clearly amused at Emily’s reaction. “doesn’t that sound more appealing?”

It does. She hates cleaning the bathroom with great passion, more so than cleaning under the cushions. If this also means it could possibly reduce Emily’s daily nagging, then your idea doesn’t seem the worst plan ever.

“Alright, you win.” Haley tried so hard to keep a straight face when she saw that stupid smile emerging again. “I guess this can be my job every week. Then there won’t be any reason to argue over it.”

Emily eyes her a bit at her sudden compliance with everything before turning back to you with an almost appreciative look. “Thanks, Y/n/n. That was a great solution.”

“Heh,” you must have noticed Haley’s eyes burning at your conjoined hands. With a timid chuckle, you retreated your hand back as you scratched your nape almost shyly. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast?” Emily suggested. “I’m almost finished cooking anyway.”

“It’s okay, thanks! But I don’t really want to impose.”

“Nonsense! I’m sure my sister won’t mind you joining us. Right, Hay?” Emily raises an equally blue eyebrow at her sister, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Your hands are rough and warm.”

“Huh?”

Your confusion snapped her out of her trance. She meets your eyes for a brief moment before glancing away. “I mean— what I meant to say was,” she sputtered pathetically. “Yeah, you can join us for breakfast.” She forces out a smile, hoping Yoba will answer her prayer one more time.

“Good!” Emily beamed. “Then I’ll get on with it. Haley, please keep our guest occupied.”

“You sure?” You asked one more time, probably noticing the grimace obviously etched on her face.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. Okay, then how about we clean these cushions now? So, you won’t have to clean them later?”

“Eh? It’s fine. I can do that later.”

“I insist. Two pairs of hands are better than one, y’know?”

“Ugh. Of course, you’ll say some dorky crap like that. Yoba, fine you can help.”

You can only laugh at her antics before moving to lift the couch.

Spring 14

She used to like her birthdays.

At least that’s what she likes to think.

What she allows herself to think.

And what she likes others to think.

It’s easier to blend into the stereotypes rather than oppose them and still get judged after.

Haley’s been called names already, all too many to even mention.

Spoiled.

Arrogant.

Self-centered and conceited.

If they are harsh enough, sometimes they’ll call her a dumb bitch.

As harsh as they are, Haley learned over the years to desensitize herself to them. Why allow yourself to be hurt by the same thing over and over again?

Her parents raised her and Emily in this big house back in Zuzu City. It was big, enormous even but empty. Can you call it home when no one cares enough to stick around? When all there ever was were big parties, and holidays spent with strangers she barely talked to, raised like the perfect little girl that she is, given with just as empty praises and gifts just as thoughtless.

Haley is practically the epitome of class and luxury. The living embodiment of perfection. Perfect face, perfect body, and oh-so-perfect stats. She’s smart (street smart or preferably photography smart if there’s one or whatever), rich and famous. Most importantly, she’s popular and has a reputation to protect.

Everything that Emily probably isn’t. Yet she’s the one happier.

She’s the one who moved on while Haley remains still where their parents left them.

How could they be gone though if, in the first place, they were never present? Where were they when Haley won her first photography contest? Did they know the photo was Emily sewing her first design? Haley doesn’t think so.

They are not abusive though. In terms of needs, they never wasted seconds to tend them in the most grandiose and luxurious ways as possible— the newest phone, latest camera, expensive make-up, and all available seasonal designer clothes. Good but not great either. Haley can say they are just plainly emotionally unavailable. They weren’t ready at all to be parents. They were too young when they had Emily.

Early twenties were not even that young, but it was a stage of exploring the world and what it could still possibly offer them. They can’t have all that with children in tow. So, when the opportunity arises, they took it without hesitations. After all, both their children are fully capable on their own.

But Haley needed someone. She needed a father. She needed her mother. Hell, she needed her sister. She needed someone warm, a nicer, wiser person. Someone to cry to, to talk to, to laugh to.

She calls out but the house is empty.

So, tell me. How can I be childish when I’m forced to grow up because everyone already is?

Haley hated them with passion. The crumpled piece of letter in her hand was obvious enough to what extent she does.

Another birthday card.

No hugs and kisses.

No cake.

No parents.

Some birthday this is.

She lets out a dry chuckle. It seems Emily had forgotten about her day. She had taken off at dawn's first light without even a second thought. While Alex? She doesn’t expect him to remember. At least not until later than noon. The idiot, really.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Haley didn’t have to look up to see who it was, but she did anyway. There you are with your blinding smile again. Beads of sweat can be seen forming on the side of your forehead just below a small cut that seemed to be healing well already. Your clothes are lightly butchered, a sign you were up and about on your farm yet the sight of you lifted her spirit a little. 

“Done with your chores?” she asked as you sat down next to her. Weirdly enough, the smell of dirt doesn't seem sore on the nose anymore, and Haley starts to wonder why.

It was a pleasantly warm Sunday. Usually, the kids will be playing here and Haley's glad she get to enjoy a quiet time in the park even for a little time.

You hummed. “Woke up extra early to finish them all.”

“Why? You have plans?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Naw, had to run some errands so I can give you this,” You turned to your rucksack that Haley failed to notice once again. It was bulging. Haley could only catch sight of the color brown before you successfully hid it behind your back. “Give me your hands.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to prank me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Is it a bug? You know I hate them.”

“Just do it, Hay.”

Surprised at the sudden usage of the nickname, Haley finally complied. She desperately hopes the sunlight would hide the tinge of redness starting to form on her cheeks.

Carefully, you placed a coconut on her open palms. It was plump and perfectly shaped as if it had been carefully chosen just for her. It was even wrapped poorly with a red ribbon that is a bit wrinkly and crinkled on the edges which must be because of how it was forcefully shoved in her bag. But Haley didn't find it in herself to mind. Not when you're looking at her like that as you hold your gift.

“Happy birthday, Haley,” you greeted warmly.

Haley blinked, her eyes started to water, her insides warming up in all ways possible. But she didn’t dare cry.

"I... I love coconuts." Haley looked up. Her own lips betrayed her as they curled up in the widest grin she ever had. “How did you know?”

“Well...” You scratched the back of your head, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Remember when you treated my cut the other day? You made me choose between a sunflower band-aid or a coconut one. So, I kinda assumed they were your favorites.”

“B-but how? You can’t possibly summon a coconut tree at will, or even had the time to go to Calico desert.”

You laughed at that. “It was pure luck, Hay. I just talked to the traveling merchant the other day and she said she had a couple of ones in stock. But she warned me I had to buy one early today or else she’ll run out just before noon.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.”

“No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Happiness looks good on you, too.

****

Previous

Next

A/n: I hoped I did Haley's heart event justice because she deserved soooo much better. I refuse to believe her mean girl façade is because she's plain mean. My girl is better than that.

Anyway, sorry for the super late update. You know, the usual, due to school stuff and it just so happens senior year is the busiest year of all. Had to make sure I'm complying with all the needed requirements so I can graduate this year.

Thank you, guys, for your patience. Love y'all but I love my wife more <3

[genericpuff]

Hey Puff. No real reason behind this ask, I just wanted to say thank you for being a lovely human being and creating LR & sharing it. It's such a comfort series.

I've been having a hard time. ADHD and guilt and RSD has been kicking my ass. I took some time off work today that I don't think my manager was super happy about for a reason that is technically real but the major reason was that I Couldn't Anymore, my brain Wouldn't and that's such a shit excuse.

All that to say! I opened LR today and spent ten minutes just staring at that shot of Kore on the bus with all the pastel glitter softness around and it was so beautiful my anxiety calmed down. Went back to old chapters - the super cool Tower 4 skeleton pieces to just look. So just wanted to say thank you for the effort you've put in - it's a passion project you love, and it shows, and thanks for sharing.

(Mainly the last bit I wanted to share, the rest is context, didn't mean to emotionally dump if it comes out that way!)

Aw, thanks so much for the kind words! I'm glad it connected with you so deeply :'3 I relate to that a lot, sometimes it can be hard not to feel guilty over taking time for yourself, but at the end of the day, you only get one body, one life - stand by your own well-being and trust yourself to know when you need to take breaks. When it comes right down to it, all the people you're worried about rejecting you / judging you / etc. aren't gonna matter in the long run, but your mental and physical health will. You might feel like you're making excuses, but prioritizing your health is a valid reason and it's a reason that should be treated with respect and empathy, especially between you and yourself ;3

Obviously if you ever feel like the rest has turned into inaction that's detrimental to yourself, that can be a whole other issue - but often times we're way too hard on ourselves and see ANY amount of rest as "inaction" when really it's just taking action for ourselves rather than others. Trust your gut to know the difference, be kind to yourself <3

[gay-barbarian]

Sometimes I remember Swan and Mercy don't know much about each other and I think it's very funny. So here's a little something about Mercy learning random things about her girlfriend. Hopefully the characters aren't too ooc I'm still trying to find how I wanna portray each of them.

It all started when the gang planned a welcome back party for Ajax. Fox had been out of the hospital for a few days now. Ajax was supposed to come out of prison by the end of the day, so the party planning was full on.

Even though she felt a lot better, Fox wasn't cleared by Cleon to go back on mission yet, so she invested all her time in the party while most of the other warriors were away. The rest of the party committee were Mercy, who were still waiting on Swan to let her do literally anything gang related; Rembrandt who just wanted to stay close to Fox ever since she came back and was more than happy to help with her girlfriend’s welcome home party; and Cochise who had her day off and decided to help.

Mercy was setting up a dozen bottles of booze in the corner of the basement of Cleon's and Swan's apartment where the party was going to be. Fox and Rembrandt were decorating the space with balloons and a happy birthday banderole that Rembrandt had painted over for it to say, “welcome home Ajax”. Cochise was walking toward Mercy with another box of different liquors.

Mercy watched her approach and laughed “do you really think the eight of us can drink that much without dying on the spot?”

“Don’t act like your girlfriend can't drink us all under the table!” Cochise said, posing the box at the new recruit feet. She started taking out the new bottles “Even Ajax can't outdrink Swan, and trust me she tried, but don't tell her I said that”

Mercy smiled while helping to take the drinks out of the box Didn't know Swan was such a heavy weight”

“Then there's a lot you don't know about her! This girl is a whole new person when she lets loose! Or maybe you do know what she looks like when she's very comfortable” Cochise winked while Mercy's cheek started to turn red.

“Well then, I'm curious to see her having fun at a party! She always seems so preoccupied.” Mercy told Cochise a bit pensive.

“Yea, she is always soooo preoccupied. Let me guess, we are talking about Swan, right?” Fox guessed with a little laugh making Mercy jump. Fox and Rembrandt had come very close to the two other warriors without them. Never underestimate a tagger and a scout capacity to be sneaky.

Mercy spoke up after a little moment, her hand holding her chest in an exaggerated surprise motion. “Oh god Fox never do that again! I almost died!” But yes, Cochise was telling me how fun Swan was during a party. Any of you can corroborate her claims?”

Fox started to open her mouth to say she didn't have the chance to party with Swan yet since Swan rarely let her guard down enough to have fun, until Rembrandt interrupted “I remember when her and Ajax try to outsing each other singing Ain't no mountain high enough and when she reenacted a few scenes from Grease acting as Danny. No clue where she learned the dialogues.”

She does love Grease, Mercy told herself. They had watched it a few times already since it was Swan’s comfort movie, but Swan had made her promise to never tell anyone. Something about not wanting to seem weak as a second in command.

“She also talks a lot about swans and birds in general, when she's drunk but to be fair she does know a lot of facts about swans” added Cochise while laughing. “For someone who used to be mute she does talk a lot when you give her alcohol”

“Swan used to be mute?” Asked Mercy incredulously, maybe she did have a lot to learn about her girlfriend. Fox also seemed a bit shocked at the news while Rembrandt just shrugged her shoulders.

Cochise put her hand over her mouth letting out a nervous laugh “Whoops, I might have said too much. Swan doesn’t like when we talk about her first few days as a warrior.”

“I can’t say I talked a lot either when I first became a warrior” said Rembrandt nonchalantly “can’t really judge her”

Fox looked at the three girls with big eyes “How did I not know that! My job is to know things!”

“When Cleon first brought her here she wouldn't say anything until” the sound of the door opening and Swan’s and Cleon's voice resonating from upstairs interrupted Cochise “I said nothing” she whispered to the others while Swan and Cleon made their way downstairs.

“Hey party people! The place looks awesome!” exclaimed a happy Cleon looking around at the mostly red colored decorations.

Swan seemed to relax a bit after being out on warriors’ business all day and seeing her people happy “You did a good job, I’m sure Ajax will be happy if she doesn’t just go straight for the booze.”

Fox and Mercy looked at Swan with shocked faces. Cochise watched her with a shit eating grin. Swan looked at them confused. “Do I have something on my face?” She rubbed her cheek wondering if dirt or something stuck to her face during the day.

“Don’t worry Swan, you’re all good. Cochise was just telling us a funny story” Rembrandt told her with a smile. The tagger made her way to Cleon to point out everything they did during their absence. Swan looked at her go and then back to the rest of the group, eying them suspiciously.

“Well I need to take a shower and find something to wear before Cowgirl and Ajax arrive. You guys need anything upstairs?” Swan asked, deciding that she didn’t need to know what “funny story” Cochise told the other three for Fox and Mercy to look at her like that.

Mercy seemed to come back to herself at that moment “Oh! I can help you find what to wear! I have the perfect idea, and we can match!” Mercy took her girlfriend’s hand and dragged her toward the stairs before Swan could say anything more.

Fox leaned toward Cochise half-whispering “Of course, I’m sure they’ll find something for Swan to wear and not do anything else alone in their room” Cochise laughed, making Cleon and Rembrandt look at her.

In Swan and Mercy’s room, Mercy was sitting on the bed surrounded by a few outfits she handpicked for her and Swan. Swan was just getting out of the shower, drying her hair with the towel.

“Do we really have to be matching? Ajax will never let me live it down if we do”

“C’mon I’m sure Ajax and Rembrandt did it at least one time, so she can’t say anything. And if she does, you just have to tell yourself that you love your girlfriend more than Ajax pisses you off.” Mercy was smiling from ear to ear watching her girlfriend in only underwear. She got up and kissed Swan to prove her point.

“I guess I can do that for you.” Swan answered, eyes still closed from the kiss. “So what did you have in mind?” she continued opening her eyes to watch Mercy point at everything already on the bed.

[ataleofcrowns]

Hii, I would like to just thank you for your beautiful book. Your writing is inspiring and you’re so good at describing, it’s really admirable. Very easy to picture the beauty of things I’m your world because it’s so well described.

I specifically came here to thank you for the bath scene in the earlier chapters. My character has locs and I almost cried when you talked about washing them and maintaining the moisture with oils. I was like ‘reallll’ lol. I remember when I decided to keep my natural hair instead of chemically straightening it, on of the first things I learned was to maintain moisture with oils. I use a kind of oil/cream concoction now, but the way the servants (I forgot their names unfortunately) washed my Crown’s hair immediately reminded me of the first time I washed my natural hair.

Just, thank you for putting so much thought into these seemingly minor things. Authors I’ve read usually stop putting thought after assigning what hair their mc has.

Anyway, I’m super excited to get further into your story and see where it goes! (Also, I love your characterization of well, the characters lol. So chefs kiss)

I'm so happy to hear that!! I don't have curly or coily hair myself, but from playing these types of games a lot it's a recurring complaint I've heard from players and readers who do.

Honestly, it's the very least I can do as a writer to learn from the mistakes of other authors and not repeat them myself. I can also relate to the feeling of being overlooked/excluded in certain choice-based games that still (even if covertly) assume the MC is basically white regardless of the choices the player makes, and how frustrating that can be. I'm really glad you felt seen while playing my game!!

Thank you for the very kind message, I hope you enjoy the rest 💖💖

[lesbianherald]

Hi I’m here to yap a bit about that final couple chapters!

This will be long so buckle up. I wrote some of this in the middle of the night right after I finished it so forgive me if I’m incoherent in some places lol

First I gotta talk about Jinx and how you handled that roof scene. Phenomenal.

I loved how they talked about how it won’t break the cycle, it just makes a new one. Like I feel like the season 2 ending gave a not so great message that Jinx needed to loose everyone close to her and leave her loved ones for them to be happy. Which just rubs me the wrong way.

The bird flying away at the end of the chapter felt so powerful. I just sat there in awe for several minutes.

Ok now I have so much to say about chapter 14. I burst into tears at the start and did not stop throughout the entire thing. I would start to stop then another line hit me and bam, more tears. And I kept crying for a good while after I finished it. It was that moving.

Jayce and Viktor’s conversation about marriage was amazing. And the proposal. Wow. The way you showed that Viktor wants to give Jayce something he has wanted so badly his entire life. The gesture was so loving.

Also the line “I want my ashes spread with yours” IM SICK

And Ximena talking with Viktor was so great.

Some of my immediate reactions that I wrote as I was reading:

HE’LL BE SO GOOD TO YOU DARLING

LET HIM BE GOOD TO YOU

FUUUCKKK

How am I supposed to move on from that

The whole “I’ll take control and then give it up to you” because Viktor trusts him that much got me so emotional (as if I wasn’t already lol)

They just

Love each other

So much

Viktor just speaks to me so much with his emotional arc. Like wanting to be loved so badly and loving so deeply. And having a hard time expressing how much people mean to you, especially saying it out loud with words.

And just seeing that depicted made me feel so seen. Like as a fellow writer I aspire to achieve that level of emotion in what I do. Especially that specific feeling. I am always trying to capture that and you did it. I cannot say thank you enough.

I felt so at peace with the ending. And I love that they’ll spend the rest of their lives together. I love fluff and happy endings so I feel so at peace and touched. I feel like we got a snippet of their lives and that time will go on without us and that’s really beautiful.

As someone who’s been here for a while, I’m so grateful to have been here to watch your story grow in real time. I recommend it to everyone I know who watches arcane.

This was so special and I’ll treasure this story always.

First of all im so sorry i missed this the first time you are so so kind and incredible for this IM so DKSJFHSDKL

i'm so glad you liked my roof scene with jinx and everyone I was so frustrated with season 2 for the exact reason you talked about here. The cycle thing felt really odd and just such a harsh thing to put on a character with a history of very clear mental health struggles it made me so :( so ahhh im glad that scene hit for you

and re: viktor yeah that's exactly what I was GOINNNG for so im so glad you saw it it really was like exploring how hard it is having so many barriers in place stopping you from being confident in feeling your own feelings and being fully present in relationships and Im so glad people felt seen in that . definitely a truth for me and something I personally relate to lmao

thank you so much for all these kind words. i appreciate the support so much. its still so surprising to me that this fic got traction the way it did it means the world to know all this and that what i wrote was resonant so thank you thank you thank you <3

[sleepymaven]

The Bsd "Fyodor is Atsushi's Father" Theory:

My Not-so-Deep, Not-so-Serious Explanation on Why This Could Totally be Canon

Signed: A Sleep-Deprived Idiot

(Spoilers for the Entirety of Bungou Stray Dogs)

So... with Chapter 118 in bsd releasing, I have noticed a lot of Fyodor as Atsushi's father related things popping up and... I'm not mad about.

If anything, I'm happy the theory is getting more attention. People even seem to be taking it as canon fact, even if just jokingly.

Really, I believed the theory was plausible since it first was brought up in the fandom, but I never actually thought it would be canon because that just seemed too crazy. But those were the thoughts of a sweet summer child since the manga has gotten to the point where that might be the least crazy thing possible.

So, here I am at my keyboard yet again, ready to ramble about how, if this does somehow turn out to be canon, this might be actually rather predictable even to those who don't dive deep into the nitty-gritty lore.

Now, I won't ramble on and on endlessly about the book and Atsushi's ambiguous past and how he may be the book or a page from the book and yaddy-yadda. Instead, I'll focus on some key aspects of Atsushi's character design. First off...

His hair.

As I said, this is not all that serious or deep, so take my words with a grain of salt before you start bashing me or something for being ridiculous. You signed up for ridiculous when you started reading past the title.

Anyway, back to Atsushi's hair.

As we almost all know, Atsushi used to have a black streak in his hair that was later removed for unknown reasons, but he also has white hair.

Now, I could jokingly proclaim, "Hehe, biologically impossible Fyodor x Nikolai lovechild," and be done with it, but I am no clown, unlike Nikolai. No, I have a better, probably completely wrong, idea.

Most of us know that Fyodor has a thing for white-haired men.

Exhibit A: Every fucking member of the Decay of Angels

I rest my case.

Also, I feel the need to mention that 3 out of 6 of them have red-ish eyes while the other two have purple-ish/blue eyes. Just pointing out that little tidbit I noticed while finding pics for them.

So, it would make sense for Fyodor to pick and choose which attributes to give to his quote-on-quote "son" when he made him from the book, picking out certain traits he found appealing and pleasing to the eye.

(Also, yes, this could mean that Fyodor could have chose specific attributes that were similar to Nikolai. Boom, lovechild route.)

This could explain certain similarities between the characters who seemingly have no biological connection between one another. Their only connection then only being through Fyodor by just knowing him.

Got all that? Alright, next up...

His eyes.

Now, Atsushi's eyes are rather unique, even for the world of Bungou Stray Dogs. What also sticks out about them is the fact that they are pointed out and focused in from time to time.

Example:

(Fucking gorgeous eyes he has, btw)

To break down the colors of his eyes... While in normal lighting in the anime, they appear to be normally purple and yellow with just a hint of green in it, but under the full moon (as seen here) we can see that his eyes are a light green-yellow at the bottom and purple on the top that fades into blue.

(There are also a few times where his eyes also change while using his ability. Like when they turn almost fully yellow.)

I want to point out the colors of his eyes and the fact that they change due to certain circumstances (i.e: using his ability, being under the full moon), which is clearly not normal in their world seeing as how other ability users don't seem to do that at all.

(Edit here: I actually would like to mention that, in the manga, Nikolai's eyes also change color. The green one sometimes will change to match his normal eye whenever he uncovers it. I saw a theory talking about how it might change depending on whether or not he is lying at the time, which is pretty neat. More Atsushi and Nikolai parallels.)

Now, this might seem like a bit of a stretch just like the rest of this post, but the colors used for his eyes are similar to the eye colors of people Fyodor knows, though they are different shades.

Purple like Fukuchi. Green and blue from Nikolai.

Fyodor's eyes are also a shade of purple, kind of, so... Yeah, that works too, but Fukuchi's shade of eyes are closer to Atsushi's.

Yeah, that's all I can think of now and this is already way too long (if I start talking about Atsushi's mysterious past, I'm going to make this a mile long. Maybe later tho), so I'm ending it here for now.

Alright, bye ya'll.

[cursedvida]

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE p.II (Buggy x f!Reader)

HERE PART 1 // HERE PART III

Warnings: violence, swearing a lot, reader being a little tsunedere. Little age gap between the reader and Buggy, she's like 25/26.

A/N: i didn't plane this for having more than one chapter but here we go... Again sorry for the typos, English isn't my first language. I hope you enjoy this :D

You don't know much about seduction. In fact, you don't know anything. Throughout your life you've had very little interest in love affairs. You had a pretty rough teenage years, so you were too busy surviving to think about boys. Therefore, the whole thing with Buggy is something totally new to you. Not being in control of the situation gets on your nerves. It's irritating, nauseating. To think that right now you could have collected a nice reward and you could be quietly enjoying your money, but instead you're in that crew thinking about a clown all day is something your pride can't take. You often wonder how you could have stooped so low, but as soon as that red-nosed idiot pops into your head there is only room for daydreaming. 

Now your goal is no longer to kidnap him and hand him over to people who will probably kill him, but to try to make him notice you. But really you, as a possible love interest, and that's much harder than your first mission. It's like ten billion times more complicated. Killing people is a lot easier than attracting them. 

You were trained to kill people, so you're not a person who knows very well how to relate to others. Social skills aren't your strong suit and being nice for more than fifteen minutes isn't either. You've at least tried to be friendly with the rest of the crew, but by continuing to pretend you're a wimp you haven't had much chance to blend in either. 

Today the whole crew went to the nearest tavern for a drink. Buggy claims to have landed a deal that will bring in a lot of money, so he's in a good mood. At first the tavern keeper didn't seem too happy to welcome a gang of pirates to his place, but Buggy can be quite persuasive when he wants to be. 

Now they're all drunk. Buggy is the center of attention, as usual. He boasts of his great wit and everyone around him cheers him on. The alcohol causes all emotions to intensify. You watch him from the bar, this time you're drinking because it's the only way you don't feel ridiculous about being hopelessly attracted to that idiot. 

You have conflicting feelings all the time. You like him, but you think he's a dumbass. You're attracted to him, but at the same time you think he does terribly ridiculous things. You have no idea how to handle all those emotions, but you're also unable to take your eyes off him or ask yourself absurd questions, like how experienced he should be, or how he should look without makeup. You also often think about whether he'll like younger girls, because he's got more than a decade on you and you might not be his type. In fact, what his type is also comes to your mind all too often. 

Fuck, you're a mess. 

You order another mug of beer, turning away from staring at Buggy with an intensity that could break solid concrete. You've always had a good tolerance for alcohol so you're not drunk, just dizzy enough to make it all the same to you. The perfect state. 

"What's a girl like you doing surrounded by this bunch of weirdos?"

Suddenly you see a guy next to you, he doesn't belong to the crew. He's a big man, looking menacing. He must be one of the few people who have decided to stay in the bar despite the pirates. You decide to deliberately ignore him. 

"Hey gorgeous, I'm talking to you.”

You take another swig of beer, completely evading. You decide to turn around again, now Buggy is doing some sort of demonstration. He has detached his hand from the rest of his arm and swings his clenched fist at full speed. You don't know what he's talking about, but he sure has exaggerated the whole thing. You smile to yourself. 

"Who the fuck is that fucking clown?" asks the heavy one, still standing next to you. 

You don't even deign to look at him. 

"Shut the fuck up" You tell him in the coldest voice you can. 

"Don't tell me you're going with him and his whole gang of freaks" The guy lets out a huge laugh "Honey, a beauty like you is wasted among all those creeps."

"And the oxygen you use is also a waste considering it could be useful to someone who isn't useless to society."

"But what the fuck is wrong with you, does it bother you that much that I pick on that loser?"

"I told you before to shut the fuck up" You repeat calmly and without raising your voice. 

"Uh, you scare me" he laughs "almost as much as your big nosed captain". 

"All right, you asked for it”

The guy can't even react, as soon as he wants to realize you've already stuck an ashtray in his mouth, wedging it in such a way that he can barely breathe. And, before the others can even realize what's happening, you grab one of the stools and hit him so hard in the stomach that the guy goes flying towards the other end of the bar, hitting the wall with such force that the ashtray comes out of his mouth. 

You calmly return to your seat, taking another sip of beer as if nothing had happened. But it's at that moment that you come back to reality to realize that Buggy is no longer the center of attention, but you, and that everyone is staring at you in disbelief, including your captain. 

Fucking shit, for fuck's sake. 

Now you've really fucked up. You're supposed to be a rookie with barely any physical skills, not a killing machine. Let's see how you get out of this now, though at least Buggy is paying attention to you. God, you have to be a moron to think something like that at a time like that, you're totally losing your mind. 

"What the hell was that?" Buggy ask to you.

You just answer simply, as if everything that just happened was not with you.

"He was bothering me"

Buggy approaches you, something that makes you nervous. Not because he might be angry, but to have him around. You almost killed a guy just two minutes ago but having the man you're obsessed with looking at you makes your legs tremble.

“You broke all his teeth, Y/N.”

You look at the man across the bar. It's true, you've left his mouth in a mess, all his clothes are stained by the blood that falls on him. But hey, he asked for it, you warned him.

"Why hadn't you said you knew how to fight like that?" He insists, and you don't know if right now he's thinking of killing you, kicking you out of the crew, or both. 

You can't tell him that you were hired to hunt him down and that you've abandoned that task because you have a huge crush on him. Especially the crush part, you would never admit that, so you must think of a good excuse as soon as possible. 

"My parents trained me" and that's not a lie "but they always said to only use my skills if necessary" that's a lie, and a big one at that. 

Buggy looks you up and down, which makes your stomach tingle. You are so close to him that you can almost feel his breath on your skin. So close that it would be very easy to get a couple of centimeters closer and see what red lips taste like. You wonder what his skin must feel like against yours, or how your hands must feel tangled in his hair. You look like the narrator of a romance novel, it's pitiful but you can't help it. 

"You've been swabbing the deck since you came in, how did it not occur to you to say you could be of more use to us?”

"I'm sorry, captain."

Buggy lets out a sigh, there is something paternalistic in his attitude, that condescension that is so typical of him. That makes you relax, he believed everything. Probably because he's drunk, but you don't care about that now.

Buggy puts his hands on your shoulders, making you jump. It's the most contact you've had since you've known him and it's not even real contact because he's wearing the fucking gloves.

"Y/N, look at me" And you obey, although the fact of having him so close to you, being able to smell his alcohol breath mixed with that smell of gunpowder that characterizes him makes you a little dazed. You feel more and more like kissing him. "You can't keep such important information to yourself. But don't worry, I'm going to look for a better position for you. With how good you are at fighting, we're going to do great things together, huh."

You nod without further ado. It's a shitty proposition, he's just telling you that he'll use you as a weapon, like he uses the strongest members of his crew. But you don't care, because Buggy is touching you and because from now on you will be able to talk to him a lot more.

Maybe you should go talk to that guy from earlier and thank him.

Oh, god. Yeah, you're definitely going from bad to worse.

[bella-rose29]

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 9

this has been a long time coming but it's finally here! have some simping over lockwood's hands to make up for the wait (there's more next chapter too 😉)

Word count: 5k words

Warnings: swearing, Steph (HUGE WARNING, I HATE HER IN THIS BUT IT'S NECESSARY FOR THE CONTINUATION OF THE SERIES, SHE MADE ME WANT TO THROW UP), a lot of simping over lockwood's hands (also he's wearing a ring), innuendos ig? references to not so sfw times, vague references to body image issues and related things, I think that's it?

family photos and a gingerbread house competition (part 1)

series master list

(couldn't pick between these two so I put them both, you're welcome, also thinking about it they both match the vibes that lockwood has in this part)

“Remind me why we're doing this?”

“Because it's a tradition, Anthony. I would have thought this would be right up your street!”

“Well it is, but I don't see why we have to be stood next to Steph and Linda.”

“That's just Mum's positioning. She says it looks best that way and nobody argues with her.”

Anthony hummed, looking around at the family members gathered in the living room. The fire had been set up a few minutes ago, Ben stacking up the kindling like building blocks and setting some larger pieces of wood around them, striking a match and closing the door. Most people were already ready for the family photo, and Anthony and Y/n were sat on their loveseat while they waited for Steph and Linda to come downstairs. 

Predictably, the two of them were still in their bedrooms fussing about the fact they had to do this, but Emma was taking full advantage of the fact that nobody could leave and had forced them into joining them. 

"I don't know why they're so upset, really,” Anthony mused, trailing his fingertips over Y/n's shoulder. The way they were sat with her curled into his side made it a slightly awkward angle, but he could put aside the pain in his own shoulder if it meant he was closer to her. “I think that you look adorable in that jumper.” Y/n frowned, scrunching her nose up and glaring up at him. 

“Adorable? I look like I've been shoved into a charity shop and been pulled out backwards through the racks!”

“The dancing reindeer really take the cake, if I'm being honest.”

“Stop it. They look deranged.”

“They look happy, darling.” He paused, taking in the wide eyes and toothy grins of the reindeer that decorated the matching red jumpers that the whole family were wearing.  “And possibly like they've seen too many deaths. But they're smiling, and they've got... what is that, chocolate bars?”

“I think it's beer, Ant. The deranged reindeer are drinking beer while they're being wrapped up in a net of Christmas lights.”

"Christmas lights... that actually light up," he grinned, pressing the button on her jumper to demonstrate his point. Y/n sighed, trying to look cross with him, but the small smile on her face gave her away. 

“You're such a ridiculous idiot sometimes,” she said quietly, gazing fondly at him. The lights on her jumper were still flashing, decorating her face in different colours. 

“Yeah, but I'm your ridiculous idiot.” She snorted, then kissed him gently on the lips. If they hadn't been in the presence of most of her family members, Anthony would have held her there for hours. 

As it was, however, she reluctantly pulled away a few seconds later, smiling widely when he automatically chased her mouth. 

“Alright, love birds, stop making the rest of us feel so single and lonely,” Will called out, attempting to sound annoyed. Anthony knew that the man couldn't be happier about his little sister getting a boyfriend, and that he was easily settling in to his newfound role of teasing them about their relationship. 

“Shove off, Will,” Y/n rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her brother, and he responded by sneakily giving her the middle finger. 

“Right,” Emma declared, looking around the room at everyone gathered. “Where's Linda? And Steph?”

"I think they're still upstairs, Mum," John replied, not looking up from the sofa as he sat on top of Sam and whacked him around the head with a pillow. Sam looked like he was being slightly suffocated under his brother's weight, but nobody seemed to take much notice. The two of them fought like that a lot, and Anthony supposed that everyone was used to it now which was why nobody intervened. 

“John, stop killing your brother for five minutes and go and find them. Tell them they need to come down right away or I'm dragging them. And putting flour in their hair.” John went to complain, but at the glare that was sent his way he quickly shut his mouth and headed out the room, not before delivering one last hit to Sam's head for good measure. 

Within three minutes John was back, Linda and Steph in tow as they grumbled about the jumpers they had been forced into. 

“This is disgusting. And we're all wearing the same ones? Really, Emma? It's bad enough that you made your own sister wear this... monstrosity, but forcing it on all of us? Unbelievable.” Anthony barely hid his scowl as Linda talked down on her sister, and if he didn't think Emma could defend herself he would have leapt to do it himself. 

“You can take it off the moment we're done here, alright? But this is my house, Linda, and you're playing by my rules. It's not like you can go anywhere, so you might as well shut it and take the damn photo with us.”

Linda opened and closed her mouth like a fish for a few moments, before deciding against responding and moving to where her sister had pointed for her to stand. 

“Thank you,” Emma sighed, finishing setting up the camera. “Right, everyone get into position please, no squabbling!”

Anthony smiled as Y/n huffed and stood up, stretching out her limbs after being curled up in his lap for the past however many minutes, and within the next five minutes (that felt much longer than that) all family members present were in the places that Y/n’s mother had assigned to them, and she was clicking the button on the camera to take the photo. She rushed to take her own place next to Ben as the timer started counting down, plastering on a wide smile a second before the flash went. 

“Can we go now?” Steph whined from where she stood to Anthony’s left. She’d had to squeeze in to fit in the picture, and the sheer amount of perfume she had on was making Anthony suffocate slightly.

“Uh, hang on. Let me check that it’s a good photo. Ugh, Tom, honey, you’re meant to be smiling, not staring at the camera like you want to kill it. Let’s try again. Sam, don’t be making stupid faces this time, alright?”

“Yes, Mum,” Sam said, stifling a laugh when Will poked him in the side. Nana Jean ruffled Tom’s hair, much to Emma’s chagrin (it had taken her ages to get it somewhat neat), but the action gained a smile in response. 

They tried again, the flash going off a second time, and when Emma gave the all-clear Linda and Steph immediately moved to take off their jumpers. “Hideous things,” Linda muttered, clearly not in the holiday spirit. 

“You two had better not go anywhere,” Nana Jean said, pointing a crooked finger at them when they went to leave. “We’re building gingerbread houses next and if nothing else it’ll be a competition where you can attempt to destroy everyone else, so get your asses in the kitchen!” Anthony had been pleasantly surprised at how much energy the 80-year-old woman had, especially since her knees were basically completely ruined, and he had found himself engaged in lively conversation with her on more than one occasion. She wasn’t entirely fond of Y/n’s choice of work, but from what Anthony could tell that was more to do with the fact that she was very fond of her granddaughter, and would rather not receive a letter in the mail telling her that Y/n was dead. 

“We’ll go together, right?” Y/n asked, looking up at him while everyone was getting into pairs. He was just about to answer when Nana Jean appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his arm. He looked down at her in surprise (she was quite a small woman), confusion all over his face. 

“I’m taking this one, you can go with your Gramps. I’ve never won with him, not once. This’ll be my year, I can feel it! And your lover boy is going to help me!”

“Good luck, Nana. I don’t think Anthony can cook toast, let alone gingerbread.” Y/n was smirking, crossing her arms as she let triumph seep into her expression despite not having started the competition yet. 

“Oh really? You also didn’t think I’d be any good at snowball fights. You’d be surprised what I can do with my hands, darling.” He immediately blushed at the look on Y/n’s face, and steadfastly refused to look at either her or Nana Jean. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered, shaking his head and hoping the situation would end so he could go and bury himself in blankets and hibernate for years. He felt someone nudge his side and his cheeks got hotter still when he saw Nana Jean smiling up at him with a cheeky look on her face. 

“I’m sure Y/n/n knows all about what your hands can do, love.”

“Nana!” Y/n cried, exasperation in her voice. “You can’t say that!”

“Well I don’t think I’m wrong! You’ve been together eight months now; I married your Gramps in less time! Come on, Anthony!” She cheerfully turned and headed out the living room, dragging Anthony behind her and leaving Y/n to stand staring incredulously after them.

~~~

Y/n still hadn’t fully recovered from Anthony’s comment (and then Nana Jean’s addition) about his hands, and she was meant to be making gingerbread. 

Her Gramps had settled at the dining table with tracing paper, a pencil and far too many rulers, while she was measuring out the ingredients and mixing them together in a large bowl. He’d been an architect before he retired, helping draw up the plans for the Fittes Building and providing sketches for housing that had helped when people were on the streets at the beginning of the Problem because their houses were unsafe. Y/n had listened to him talking about his job a thousand times, but she still didn’t know what the purpose of all the different rulers were. 

“Gramps, you know you don’t have to get that technical about it, right?”

“Oh yes I do! I’m not letting Jeanie win this year, oh no! She thinks I’ve lost my touch with architecture, but I was doing badly deliberately because I knew, one year, she’d get fed up and go with someone else! She has no idea what’s coming!” Her Gramps chuckled, shaking his head and clutching his side as he thought about how deceptive he had been. Y/n smiled, remembering all the previous years where Nana Jean had become so exasperated at his apparent incapability that she’d given up all hope of winning with him. It had had no impact on their marriage, and the two of them were just as in love as they had been when they first got married, but Nana Jean also had a healthy love of winning things, and gingerbread was one of her specialties. 

“Focus, love, you’re tipping the mix out the bowl,” her Gramps said, nudging her in the arm. Y/n looked down to see the mess that she’d made over the table, and cursed softly under her breath. “What were you thinking about to make you zone out like that?” She flushed, and cast a quick glance over to where Anthony was stood at the island in the kitchen carrying out the same job as her. Without thinking, her gaze drifted down to where his hands were mixing the ingredients together in the bowl, and when her Gramps coughed she snapped her focus back to him and realised that she hadn’t actually given him an answer. Damn her Nana for saying what she said about Anthony’s hands and putting thoughts into her head! 

“Sorry,” she muttered, trying to ignore the weird look he was giving her and the heat that was now permanently in her cheeks. 

“That’s alright, love. Just scoop it back up, like this, there we are. That’s looking pretty good I’d say. Go ahead and add the next bits now, and I’ll finish drawing up these stencils.”

~~~

“What do I need to do now?” Anthony asked, holding his hands just above the bowl. Nana Jean looked over from where she had finished cutting up the last of the stencils and smiled. 

“Ah, you’ve added in the butter mixture, good lad. Looks perfect to me, so let’s get it rolled out and we can start cutting. We need to make sure we get to the oven before Richard and Y/n do, because then we’ll have a head start on the decorating.”

“Alright.”

“You might want to wash your hands first though, what with all that mix on there. Make sure you get as much as you can in the bowl before you go and scrub ‘em.” Anthony nodded, starting to push off all the gingerbread mix that had clung to his fingers while he’d been bringing the ingredients together. He heard laughter from across the room and immediately recognised it as Y/n’s, which was strange because he didn’t think that he’d heard her laugh so unapologetically since coming here. Normally it was forced, or real but contained, and although they hadn’t got along before this entire situation had happened she had still laughed like she was currently (normally when he fell over from tripping on his coat). She was gorgeous when she smiled widely, and even more so when she laughed, and Anthony paused in his actions as he watched her be properly happy around her family for one of the first times this holiday. 

He knew that she got on well with her Gramps, despite his reservations about her job and some of the comments he made about her being ‘too much to handle sometimes’, but clearly they could forget about that when they were baking together, without the pressure of Steph and Linda watching their every move. 

No, Anthony had that pleasure, and Steph’s eyes hadn’t left his face for the past thirty minutes. 

He felt the weight of her gaze now, and after sending a small wave to Y/n when she looked over and saw him (she’d stuck her middle finger up in response, but had immediately blown him a kiss when he acted hurt) he sighed and turned to Steph. “Can I help you?” He asked, resuming his previous actions of taking the gingerbread mixture off of his hands and depositing it into the bowl. 

“I think you can,” she answered, plastering on a sickly sweet smile and slowly walking over to stand on his left. She stopped barely a hair’s breadth away from his arm, and the perfume she had on was swarming his senses and making him want to gag. It was just as cloying as her smile. “See, I’ve been thinking a lot recently,” Steph started, and Anthony bit back his retort of ‘careful, don’t strain yourself too much’ and tried not to flinch when her hand came in contact with his shoulder. “I think that we haven’t really had a chance to… get to know one another. Properly. And I really would like to… get to know you, Anthony.” Her fingers danced down his arm, and he couldn’t help the grimace that came across his face at her tone. He stepped away a little, trying to not knock Nana Jean while still putting some distance between Stephanie and her wandering hands (that had since moved to his chest). 

“I’m not sure I follow,” he frowned, turning and moving to the sink. He’d gotten as much of the sticky gingerbread mixture off of his hands as possible, and now all that was left was to douse them in water. Steph followed him, gripping his arm tightly and restricting his movement. He was too good of an agent to panic - panicking in his line of work meant almost-certain death - but he could feel unease creeping up his spine and a chill working its way into his bones like miasma. 

“Why don’t we take a minute? Out in the hallway?” He really didn’t like the way she’d said that, all low and what seemed like an attempt at seduction (he couldn’t tell because it was so bad, but from the look in her eyes he could make a guess), and he shook his head. 

“I’ve got to stay here, help out Jean. Shouldn’t you be making your own gingerbread?”

“Oh, that thing? No, we never win so what’s the point? I’d much rather spend some time with you… alone.” Anthony finished washing his hands, trying to ignore how Steph’s grip on his arm had somehow grown stronger in the last minute, and turned back to the island. His eyes scanned the kitchen and dining room, desperately searching for someone that would see he’d been accosted and would come to his rescue, but everybody was busy making gingerbread houses. 

“A minute and a minute only. No more than that,” he said, giving in. Steph’s smile turned smug, and she dragged him out of the kitchen, at which point Nana Jean did look up, sending him a questioning look. Anthony mouthed ‘sorry, back in a moment’ just in time before the kitchen door shut in his face. He sighed, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw in preparation for whatever the hell Steph wanted. “Right,” he started, opening his eyes again and looking around for her. “What’s so urgent that you needed to-” He was cut off by Steph practically lunging at him, grabbing his face and pushing her lips onto his. It took him roughly a second to figure out what was happening, and he quickly got over his initial shock and shoved her off. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth, looking at Steph with disgust. 

“Oh come on! I know for a fact that you and Y/n aren’t actually together, so what does it matter? Besides,” she continued, sidling up to him again when he took a step back, “I know that deep down you want this, Anthony.” He frowned, both at her words and at how she was still coming towards him, and the previous chill that had settled on him was now a raging storm. He kept it contained, not wanting to cause too much of a scene when anyone could hear what was happening on the other side of the door (that was now blocked by Steph), but the anger was evident when he spoke. 

“I’m not sure where you got those ideas from, Stephanie, or why you think that I will ever want you when Y/n is in my life, but you need to stop.” She tried to contain her shock at his rough tone, but the way her eyes widened gave her away. 

“Wha-”

“Let me finish. First of all, why do you think we’re not actually together? Are you so disbelieving of the fact that Y/n is a genuinely incredible person and could absolutely get anyone she wanted? Because I consider myself lucky that she even tolerates my presence half the time, let alone wants to date me. Second, even if we weren’t together, it would matter to me. I’m not the sort of person who switches loyalties that easily, and I will always, always, put my relationship with Y/n before any kind of attempted civilities with you. As it happens, she is my girlfriend, and quite honestly the fact that you think I’ll ever leave her for you is laughable.” He was being mean, he knew, but he was too done with Steph’s behaviour to worry about being nice and charming now. He’d pieced together the last of the puzzle that had been bothering him since he first got here too, connecting the dots between Linda and Steph’s comments and Y/n’s subsequently strange behaviour since arriving here. “So no, I do not want this. What I want is for you to stop bullying her, and belittling her, and making her feel like shit all the damn time, because she doesn’t deserve it,” he seethed, jabbing his finger in her face. “She doesn’t deserve any of it at all. All the comments about how much she’s eating, or her body shape, or giving her a gym membership as a Christmas present, or telling her she’s not pretty enough because she doesn’t look like you, or because she wears the same dress two years in a row, all of that needs to stop. Because you make her act like an entirely different person when you’re around and that is not alright. Because Y/n is ten times the person that you will ever be, Steph, because she isn’t a bully. She’s genuine, and kind, and loving, and the most beautiful girl in the entire universe, and she doesn’t deserve a single iota of the hate that you give her.”

Steph was quiet for a minute, processing everything he’d just ranted about. “I overheard you,” she finally said, not looking at him. “That first night when Y/n stormed off upstairs in some stupid tantrum-”

“She stormed off upstairs because you were being a bitch.”

“Right,” Steph didn’t looked too bothered, but she at least had the grace to flinch at his icy tone. “Well after you went up, I followed, because yeah, you’re right, I am very disbelieving that someone as good-looking as you would ever go for someone as ugly as her when you know you could do at least twenty times better, and I thought there was something weird about it! And there was a very large period of time when I couldn’t hear anything, which was really annoying because my legs were getting tired from-”

“Steph, hurry it up.” He had barely any patience remaining now, and her voice had gone all whiny and irritating.

“Oh, yeah. Well, then I heard you two talking about how it was really hard pretending to like each other or something, and you were arguing and saying that you were pretending to date.” Anthony froze for a moment, but rapidly recovered and eased himself into his normal ‘customer service’ persona, plastering on a pitiful smile. Before he could say anything though, Steph was moving towards the kitchen door, one hand on the handle. “It’s been quite fun, really, watching you fake a relationship to everyone. I’ve been trying to work out when the best time to bring it up was ever since Christmas Day after you had a go at me. So, either you tell them all, or I do. You’ve got nowhere to hide now, and I am going to enjoy watching this whole thing collapse on Y/n. I’ll give you until after the competition’s been judged; I wouldn’t want to ruin the festivities.” Her smile was even more sickening than it had been when she’d first started this conversation back in the other room, and after she disappeared into the kitchen and closed the door behind her, Anthony let out a shaky breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. 

He needed to talk to Y/n before the end of the competition, and figure out how the hell they were going to deal with Steph. 

~~~

She couldn’t stop staring at his hands. 

Since coming back in from whatever hallway conversation he’d had with Steph, Anthony had gone right back to helping Nana Jean with a smile on his face, despite the wary glances he kept throwing towards Y/n’s cousin. She hadn’t seen the two of them step out, but she had noticed that Anthony was gone, because she’d gone to look at his hands again and he wasn’t there. 

Her Gramps was helping her cut out the shapes they would need for their gingerbread house, and she’d been doing just fine until out of the corner of her eye she’d seen Anthony slip back on the ring he always wore. 

He had taken it off earlier when Nana Jean told him he needed to mix the ingredients with his hands, not wanting to get the metal coated in gingerbread mix, but now that his hands were clean again he was adjusting it back on his finger. 

Why couldn’t she stop staring at his hands?

She’d nearly cut a piece of gingerbread entirely wrong just now because she had been too focused on how the metal band looked against his slender fingers while he rolled out the gingerbread, and her Gramps had scolded her by chucking a bit of flour at her face. 

“Pay attention, love, you’re very distracted today. Is everything alright?”

“Oh, uh- yeah… yes. Everything is… is fine.” She hadn’t taken her eyes off of his ring, which meant she didn’t see either her Gramps’ concerned look or Anthony’s bemused one until Will was calling across the kitchen. 

“Keep it in your pants, Squeak! You can take your Lover Boy to bed after the gingerbread competition!” Y/n flushed as her gaze snapped up to meet Anthony’s, finally noticing that she’d been caught blatantly checking out his hands. 

“Alright, Will,” her mother scolded, although there was a hint of amusement behind it that made Y/n want the ground to swallow her up. Anthony just raised his eyebrows at her, smirk on his face, and she didn’t have it in her to fight back, instead turning back to the gingerbread in front of her and cutting out the last of the shapes. 

~~~

“Hey,” Anthony said, finally getting a chance to talk to Y/n. Pretty much everybody either had their gingerbread shapes in the ovens, or they were waiting for a space to free up, so he had been excused by Nana Jean for a while. 

“Oh, hi!” She hadn’t seen him walk over, but the second she realised he was there she reached up and planted a quick kiss on his mouth. He felt himself blush, despite it being over faster than most of their kisses, and she let out a snort. “Really? All I did was give you a peck on the lips, Ant.”

A wave of confidence came over him, and although the heat stayed on his cheeks he leaned down to murmur in her ear. “Well I wasn’t doing much with my hands but I still had you blushing, didn’t I darling?” Y/n had no answer to that (not that it had really been a question; he’d seen her staring earlier and he was almost certain her thoughts had drifted somewhere other than something innocent), and before he pulled back Anthony pressed a lingering kiss just by her ear. 

“You- y- you can’t just say that, Ant! Jesus!” He laughed, wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing her into his chest while she hid her face in his neck. He hummed, happy, until he caught a glimpse of Steph out of the corner of his eye. 

“Darling?”

“What?” she replied, although it was somewhat muffled since her head was still buried in his christmas jumper. 

“We need to talk about something really quickly, do you want to step out?” Y/n lifted her head, frown crossing her features. Anthony wanted to press kisses to it until it disappeared, but the conversation he’d had with Stephanie was at the front of his mind. 

“Okay… is everything alright?” she asked as he led her out of the kitchen by the hand. He didn’t say anything until they were in the library, safely away from all other family members. “Ant, seriously, what’s going on?”

“Steph talked to me earlier.”

“Right… how was it?”

“Awful. She kissed me.”

“WHAT?!”

“Darling, it’s fine, it was less than a second and I shoved her off and-“

“What? Oh! Oh, no, I’m not angry with you, Ant. I’m pissed at her for kissing my fucking boyfriend!”

“Ah. Okay. Well that’s not actually the thing I wanted to talk about.”

“There’s more?!”

“She knows. That we’re not… that we weren’t… that we were faking it. She doesn’t know that we stopped doing that and started actually dating, because she walked away before I could tell her that, but she’s known since the first night and she’s been waiting ever since. She gave me an ultimatum, and said that either we fess up or she does, right after the competition has been judged. Seemed far too happy about watching you suffer, to be honest. I think she might need to see a doctor.” Y/n stared at him, her mouth opening and closing a few times before she shut it completely. 

“So, Steph knows. Steph has known basically the entire time. And Steph has done nothing?”

“Yes. She said something about wanting to ‘watch the whole thing collapse on you’ and that she would ‘enjoy it’ or something?”

“That bitch. Well what are we gonna do then? Because whatever happens it sounds like my family is finding out about this whole… thing,” she flapped her hands between them before sighing and pressing them to her face. “I was right. This is a shitshow.”

“Hey, hey. Worst case scenario is Steph tells everyone, yes? But then we can just tell them the truth. Will knows, and he’ll back us up, right? And I’m fairly certain that Nana Jean knows but I’m not sure how, she just kept making these little comments while we were baking earlier and winking at me and I just - it just feels like she knows.” 

“Nana Jean’s just like that, I suppose. It would make sense if she knew. Okay. You’re right. We can do this. We’ll just wait until Steph tells everyone, and then tell the truth.” Y/n paused for a moment, looking down at the floor while she chewed her lip. “I don’t think I can tell the truth,” she said, and when she brought her gaze back up her eyes were shining with the tears that were threatening to fall. Anthony stepped closer, framing her face in his hands and planting a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“You don’t need to tell the whole truth. Not if you don’t want to. Just the bit about us being in a proper relationship now if you like, and I can do that if you need me to. But whatever you choose, darling, I’ll be with you. I will be right by your side, Y/n, always.”

“Thank you, Anthony.”

“Anytime, my darling. Anytime at all.”

He hoped she knew just how much he meant it. 

part 10

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