#i'm not mad or anything at all i promise!!
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Lazy morning
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Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Fluff, grumpy Rafe, slow burn, cuddling, light angst, a little possessive Rafe
Summary: Rafe Cameron is not a morning person. As the sun rises, he’s already tangled up in the sheets, mumbling about how he’d rather stay in bed forever than face the world. But when you’re the one beside him, his irritation melts away, and all he can think about is the warmth of your body next to his. The day outside might be calling, but all Rafe wants is to cuddle, pull you closer, and hold you in his arms. It’s one of those lazy mornings where time doesn’t matter, and nothing feels as good as just being together.
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You woke up slowly, the warm sunlight seeping through the curtains and casting a soft glow across the room. For a moment, you let your eyes flutter closed again, listening to the rhythm of Rafe's breath beside you. He was still tangled in the sheets, his messy blonde hair sticking to his forehead, and his face was scrunched up in an expression that screamed, "I'm not ready to face the world today."
You couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Rafe Cameron, grumpy in the mornings, was a sight you could never get enough of. He was usually so confident, so sharp, but in these moments, when the world hadn’t yet fully claimed him, he was just... human.
You shifted a little, rolling over to face him. His eyes cracked open just slightly as he felt the movement, and he groaned under his breath, not yet ready to leave his cocoon of warmth.
“Five more minutes,” Rafe mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow. You chuckled softly and brushed a strand of hair from his face.
“You said that an hour ago,” you teased, leaning in closer. He gave you a tired look, clearly annoyed but not enough to actually push you away.
“Shut up,” he grumbled, pulling the blanket up over his head in an attempt to hide from the world. “I’m not getting up today.”
You giggled, amused by how much like a child he looked when he pouted like that. But you weren’t going to argue with him. Instead, you just snuggled up to him, resting your head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
Rafe sighed and wrapped his arm around you, his fingers gently tracing circles on your back. "Why do you have to be so damn cute?" he muttered, clearly still irritated but melting under your touch.
“I’m not the one being lazy here,” you said playfully, running your hand down his chest, feeling his muscles tense beneath your fingers. But you could tell he wasn’t really mad at you. He never was, not when you were this close.
“I’m not lazy,” he shot back, though his tone lacked any real conviction. “I just... don’t wanna get up. Too comfy.”
You smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. There was something magical about the way he held you, the way his body seemed to mold perfectly against yours. For once, the outside world could wait. You were content here, in the warmth of his embrace.
You both lay there for a while, the minutes passing without either of you caring. You didn’t need anything else. Just Rafe. Just this.
He finally shifted slightly, his lips brushing against the top of your head. “I’m not leaving this bed,” he said, his voice low and rough with sleep. “If you want anything, you’re gonna have to bring it to me.”
“Anything?” you raised an eyebrow, pulling back slightly to look at him. “That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”
He smirked, eyes still heavy with sleep. “Yeah. Anything. But only if you promise not to leave.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I wasn’t planning on it,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him gently, his lips soft and warm against yours.
For the rest of the morning, the two of you stayed in that bed. The outside world could wait; there was nothing more important than just being here, wrapped in the warmth of each other. You let the minutes slip away without a care.
#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron one shot#rafecameron#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe imagine#rafe x you#rafe cameron x kook!reader
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//Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the delay and for how long this post is. I go into more detail about the rp thing, as well as explain a bit more about what is and isn't allowed.
For the tldr; Rp, M!A's, and asks are all ok, even from oc's! What I can't do so much are rp's and full interactions with separate au's and reblog rps. As much as I want to, this blog has an underlying story and plot that the characters are following. I also address that not all asks get answered because they may reveal something, or because I can't make them fit into the planned events/events currently happening. That isn't because I don't want to answer an ask or because I don't like who sent it! I just can't fit all asks into what's happening. I appreciate you all being here and interacting with the characters and liking the story that I'm making! It's especially hard being an ask blog with a mun that doesn't draw, so I really appreciate you all being here! More in-depth explanation under the cut://
//I don't know if this is going to make sense (I really hope it does), but for the rp thing:
So rp is allowed, yes. When I say reblog rp/rp not being ok, I mean more like crossover type stuff. So say you ask questions as one of your characters. That's fine! This is mainly an ask blog, but it also does some rp as characters develop/the storyline goes on (I'm looking at you anons 👀). It's also fine if you yourself ask questions, give the characters things, do silly things to see how they react, etc.
What I can't do is a full-on world crossover where a character is interacting and kind of partaking in a separate au.
For example: AU Blog sends an ask to Solar asking how things are going. Or maybe they say (in or out of character) that their favorite color is blue or offer some sort of gift, or do some other sort of shenanigans, or even send an M!A. Those are completely fine! (Yes, M!A's are ok. It's just a matter of when I can fit them into the story/blog when there's a lull).
Alternatively: AU Blog sends something directed to Solar going more in detail about their separate world and tries to direct him towards a separate rp different from the current plot, or tries to involve Solar in their blog's events. That wouldn't be allowed. Not because it's a bad thing at all! But because this blog has a storyline it's following, as well as for the reasons I stated previously. I just can't do it.
Another thing is the reblog-rp's: I can't really do reblogging back-and-forth so much anymore. I know I used to a little bit with some asks a while back, but I can't so much now due to how much the blog has grown and how unpredictable the ask box can be. Somedays I may have one or two asks and it's just between a character or two and a single asker. Other times, the ask box is near-constantly getting flooded. Both of which are fine! It's just that reblog-interactions aren't really as feasible for me anymore due to how much we've grown (which I'm not complaining about at all! There's a lot of you here now and I sincerely appreciate every single one of you!) I also try to reply to mentions when I can and comments, but I can't always do that either. It isn't that I don't want to! Those sometimes get buried beneath other notifications and I can't always do it. I may re-reblog here and there when I have some time, but I can't promise it.
Please remember that while we get into silly side shenanigans and have our more serious moments (especially as characters develop), there is an underlying plot to everything. Like Lily coming to be: she isn't a one-off character. Or Eclipse being downstairs in the basement while everyone else is doing their own thing, or even Nexus doing what he's doing (I won't say what it is, ofc🤫). But that's also the reason why not all characters are available all the time. If I had everyone out, I wouldn't be able to develop the story alongside the lighthearted stuff we get up to. I live for the silly goofs, seeing how the characters interact and react to different inputs and things others say and do that I wouldn't come up with, and even those serious moments we all have! This is a lot of fun for me to do when I have time, and it also lets me get an even better understanding of the characters! That, in turn, helps me write and develop the story further down the road.
Just please respect my wishes. Also, because I'm one person and this is a blog with a plotline underneath it, sometimes I won't answer all asks. Or I may save one or two for a future development I have in mind that I can't reveal quite yet. Or sometimes answering a question may reveal too much too soon. That isn't because I don't want to answer them or that I don't like the person sending the ask! It's because of those reasons I just stated. For example: there was one instance on here where someone had sent an ask for Nexus (back then he was "Bad Moon") back in...January, I think? Or maybe February. Either way, I held onto it for quite a long time. It wasn't that I didn't want to answer it. I was waiting for the right moment. And then it came when I brought back Poppy as a ghost a while later! It was the perfect segue to guide us into another arc of the blog, and it fit in really well with the story itself. And that's also when I was able to update the story on AO3 to match what was happening here.
I know that was a lot to read and I really hope it doesn't come across as me being mean or picky. I want to keep interacting with you all when I can and getting up to silly things, and I want to keep developing the story and getting into future events (hoo boy do I have some stuff planned down the line...). I hope that made a little more sense, as well as explained why sometimes I don't respond to everyone's asks when they send them. Feel free to send asks: the worst thing that happens is I don't answer it/don't answer it right away. I sincerely appreciate all of you for sticking around and coming to enjoy the shenanigans and story. It's especially hard as a mun who doesn't draw/art well since I can't draw out responses, I can only write them. So it really means a lot to me that people like what I'm doing and like my characters. Thank you all and I'm looking forward to more interactions in the future!//
#ooc#em speaks#mun speaks#long post#i really hope this doesn't come across as mean- I'm just trying to be as clear as I can#i'm not mad or anything at all i promise!!
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PSA: i keep seeing posts about staying cool in extreme heat that include advice like "gatorade is bad actually!" and "don't drink fruit juice it'll just dehydrate you!" and neither of these are true!
regarding fruit juice: there's apparently a misconception that Any Sugar At All will dehydrate you, and that's simply not true. yes, sugar will make you pee more when consumed in large amounts, but 1) the natural sugar in fruits won't do this to you 2) great news! a lot of fruit juices exist without any added sugar in them! 3) honestly even having a glass of the fruit juice with added sugar won't completely dehydrate you as long as you're also drinking water throughout the day. if its hot you deserve a cold treat of a drink!!! can't go wrong with fruit juice!!!
regarding gatorade: maybe this isn't an every day drink, but guess what: if it's 110F/40C or hotter outside, and you don't have AC, or you're moving around a lot outside of the AC, and you're sweating buckets: that's when you drink a gatorade.
gatorade exists to replenish all the electrolytes (salt) and glucose (sugar) that you sweat out. YES it is meant for athletes to drink during intensive work outs and not necessarily for people who aren't doing that kind of exercise. BUT GUESS WHAT! when you're sweating buckets because you had to walk to the bus in extreme heat, that's intensive exercise. please feel free to drink a gatorade after that! that's its intended use case!!!!
no: neither of these drinks should be a total replacement for water. but drinking a lot of water and then treating yourself to a fruit juice with lunch is a good idea!!! drinking a gatorade becuase you just had to walk for 20 minutes in the heat is a good idea!!!
Please Stop Spreading Misinformation About Drinks!!! It's fine if you drink things that aren't water!!!! Yes you should probably always be drinking water but drinking something else As Well isn't going to hurt you!!!! okay!!!! its fine!!!!!!
honestly so long as you are consistently getting Any (non-alcoholic) fluids in you, you're doing great!!!!!! okay!!!! i love you stay safe <3
#also: drinking A Soda or A Coffee isn't going to completely dehydrate you if you're drinking other fluids tbqh!!!#its fine!!!!! its fine!!!!!#drinks#heat#dehydration#this post exists because i'm mad at misinfo but also#this is for my homies who hate the taste of water and struggle to stay hydrated#because people have told them over and over again You Must Absolute Drink Water And Nothing Else and so they just don't drink anything#listen!! hey!!! whoever told you that was lying!!!!#drinking Any Fluids At All (yes even with caffeine!!) is better than Not Drinking Anything#please hydrate!!!! it's okay if that hydration isn't water!!!!#honestly i tried to be extremely non confrontational in this post but im pretty sure i've seen people suggest flavored water packets#but say no fruit juice ever. and that's insane.#it's all fluids baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so long as you are drinking fluids you are combatting dehydration#YES water is the best option HOWEVER. if you drink things that aren't water that's also okay! i promise!!!!!!!!
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Hi, So one of my Characters was inspired by two goddess: Meilone and Despoina (Another Daughter of Demeter) and I've been trying to get more information on Despoina, I've used a Greek mythology site that I'm familiar with I even had some help from A.I search. Any tips?
Aahh, first tip, don't use AI ! At least in its current state, there's literally nothing it can factually offer you that normal Google searches can't. I know for some folks it's tempting because it kind of "summarizes" everything and makes the process of research a lot less intimidating, but the drawback to summarizing - especially through AI - is that it picks and chooses what information it thinks is helpful to you, not information that actually is accurate or true. And a lot of that information it presents to you is skimmed from other pre-existing sources that aren't necessarily accurate or true either - it skims from Reddit, Wikipedia, and other popular discussion sources to come up with an approximation of information, but approximations can and often are still made up of weak parts. Plus, at the end of the day, the AI is still pulling from things that exist, so even if it's telling you stuff that's factually true, it isn't anything you couldn't have found on your own.
The reason you're struggling to pull up anything on Despoina is because "Despoina" doesn't really exist, at least not as some concrete deity the same way Zeus and Demeter do. "Despoina" only has a handful of sources mentioning her, and a good chunk of them refer to her not as Demeter's daughter, but as an epithet.
Understand that sometimes not finding enough information isn't a fault of our own for "not looking hard enough" - sometimes it's because that information just currently does not exist, especially when it comes to the matter of ancient cultural studies, where what's available is strictly limited to what we've discovered and what's been made publicly accessible. In those situations, you really just gotta work with what you've got, and do your best in digging up information outside of the most popular sources, because you never know what you could be missing out on simply because Google decided not to show you.
I'm gonna go on one of my classic tangents here but it's a topic that's very interesting to me! So I'm just gonna dive into it, but I'll include a jump for those who don't want this clogging up their feed :>
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When you really get into the meat of studying Greek mythology - or really any cultural mythology - it's unfortunately not as cut and dry as reading up on lore or skimming a Wikipedia page. There are thousands of years of cultural interaction, trading of oral stories, re-interpretations through cultural adoption and/or colonization, political satirizing and/or re-tooling to suit specific sociopolitical views, and religious influence at play (among MANY other influences) which make up what we now understand as "Greek mythology" in its simplest terms.
Much of what we still study today is debatable as to what is truly "Greek", because of all the cultural mixing that was happening between the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Africans, etc. that resulted not only in its adopters creating new versions of older Greek stories, but "Greek myth" in and of itself being influenced by the societies that came before it. I've mentioned this before, but even Homer is a hot topic of debate, mostly discussing whether or not he was a real person, or if - like Despoina - the name "Homer" is just an epithet to refer to one or more poets whose works were preserved as culturally relevant interpretations of the stories and beliefs that were being passed around at that time. These are what make up the Homeric Hymns, but think about this - those hymns were in and of themselves retellings. Homer - whether one tangible person or many ambiguous voices as a collective - was simply putting stories that were already being told orally to paper, from their own perspective, which we managed to uncover and preserve over the course of thousands of years, during which we would continue to re-interpret it based on new translations and discoveries that would shift our context of knowledge.
With all that in mind, now think of all the stories that were lost, either because modern scholars haven't uncovered them, or because Homer just never thought to include them, or possibly didn't know of them himself. Think of all the stories that we assume to be true which could have had entirely different meanings when told as bedtime stories over the fire, or as epics of war to inspire soldiers, or as romantic poems sung to an audience.
I know everything I just said is a lot and is, in and of itself, wholly interpretive and subjective. But think about all that, and then understand why I'm so wary about using AI to do the work of the analysis for you. Not only does it remove so much necessary context from discussion that's already missing context in many areas, it undercuts the joy of discovery.
All that said, Despoina is, as far as we currently know, theorized to be one of two things:
1.) A daughter of Demeter who may or may not have been born during The Hymn to Demeter, who was worshipped as a deity within the Eleusinian Mysteries but - due to her nature as a deity of a secretive cult - does not have much evidence to support what she could have been specifically worshipped for, as her worshippers were sworn to secrecy. "Despoina" may not have even been her real name, just a name used to refer to her among cultists or anyone who wasn't a part of the congregation to ensure her true name was protected (similarly to Kore and Persephone, she could be a deity with "two names" that serve two different purposes and interpretations).
2.) An epithet, meaning "mistress", to refer to one or several different women, usually fertility goddesses, including Demeter, Persephone, and even Aphrodite and Hecate. This doesn't necessarily mean that "Despoina" as a goddess didn't exist, just that the word "Despoina" can also be used to refer to goddesses within the cult to keep their names a secret. And if Despoina did exist as her own deity... again, we don't know her true name, just the title that was used to refer to her, whoever "she" was.
The thing is, there is tangible material that supports either or both arguments. And even if more evidence came out to support one over the other, it doesn't invalidate either of them - this is just how it is with mythologies and religion, different cultures and tribes and groups would hold different beliefs, and the beliefs that reign supreme are often determined by the highest power. This is obviously why so many Roman interpretations of the Greek gods are now the "default" interpretations, because Rome was a very powerful empire that had the ability to absorb other mythologies, create their own adaptions of them, and then enforce them as the natural order. The popularity of Catholicism as an organized religion is owed to the Roman Empire, and even it still has its divided subgroups who have separated from the main doctrines of Catholicism due to having different beliefs.
Even think of the Bible, which many people hold up as the "gold standard" despite never having even read it. They subsequently don't understand that what we know as "the Bible" is a curated library of works that were preserved over hundreds of years, first documenting the trials and tribulations of the Jews and the building of Israel, and eventually leading to Jesus Christ and his fellow fandom mutuals (the apostles) coming in and deciding "nah that Old Testament blows, let's make a new one! No more circumcisions! Bread and wine and bacon for everyone!" (<<< I am obviously paraphrasing here for the sake of efficiency and a little bit of levity lmao) This is why, to this day, we get so many people still arguing over whether or not Jesus hated gay people, because some point to specific scriptures written by apostles like Paul and Matthew, while others point to scriptures from the Old Testament which pre-existed Jesus by centuries.
As much as we may refer to a "canon" within Greek mythology, those commonly known facts are still based on previous interpretations that in and of themselves were constantly debated and fought over. People even went to literal war over this shit, because it turns out, human beings haven't really changed all that much - we're loyal to our most favorite fandoms, and crucify anyone who disagrees with our established canons. And none of that is to patronize the cultural, spiritual, and political importance of these stories - more so just to point out why it's so hard to track down clear cut information for certain myths, because how legitimate those myths even were within their own context and time is unsubstantiated and debatable.
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TL ; DR: If you're making characters inspired by an ambiguous deity who doesn't have a lot of evidence to support them, just do what you can to find the evidence that exists, and maintain your own level of understanding and transparency that you can't possibly accurately depict a character who's either directly based off a Greek myth deity or simply inspired by one when what is and isn't accurate is still often up for debate by people who are actually trained and paid to debate these things. On the one hand, it means someone will likely be bound to argue with your interpretation and it may leave you searching for ways to improve upon any misrepresentations; on the other, know that this is just passing on the torch of a tradition that has been practiced by humans ever since the first cave drawing and we are all, by and large, doing what we've always been naturals at doing - expressing our views and perspectives of the world that make sense to ourselves, and then getting yelled at when it doesn't make sense to others LMAO
Be earnest and humble in your attempts to tell a story that feels true to you, and remember that the process of discovery - the research - is half the journey, and half the fun :> Even if you get things wrong, be willing to take ownership of it and view it as an opportunity to learn even more. Therein lies the true joy of creating - the endless potential for discovery.
#ask me anything#ama#anon ask me anything#anon ama#that's a courtesy that even applies to rachel smythe of all people#but it's why I stress it every single time this kind of topic comes up:#I'm not mad that Rachel misrepresented the myths in her webcomic for teenagers and young adults#I'm mad she misrepresented HERSELF as an expert on the myths when she clearly isn't#and then continuously failed to improve upon what she promised she would do#oftentimes aiming for the bare minimum of effort which could hardly even be called effort#i'm mad that her poorly-written story got sold as being some gold standard in myth retellings when it's barely even functional
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I think I've seen this film before...
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#I just#I promised my best friend who also might just be someone I love more than anything that i won't kill myself#Why you all worrying#I promised#I'm going mad over here#ronan lynch#Ronsey#Gansey#jean moreau#kevin day#Kevjean#The raven cycle#Aftg#The sunshine court#The raven boys#Trc reread#Trc
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alright everybody can we please stop tagging me/talking about me in the notes of pro keefe/sokeefe posts. i know strieefe has made it so that it's really funny to talk about how much i love him and how much i'm in denial when i say negative things about him under those posts (and that's all in good fun and not the problem), but we have to think about the fact that the ops are just trying to make a positive post and probably don't want a keefe hater in their notes /srs
#i'm not mad or anything like that. promise. it's just a phenomenon i've noticed that has slowly started becoming a trend#it just becomes increasingly difficult to respond in a way that stays true to my opinions while ALSO trying not to offend op#so i usually end up ignoring those mentions or reblogging with like “no comment” or something. which isn't fun for anybody#i've had this happen more than once by more than one person. this is a pro keefe/sokeefe post why are we talking about me of all people#i don't want to offend op with my inevitable anti keefe opinions. talking about keefe haters on a pro keefe post is . . . a choice#i make an effort to try to stay out of pro keefe/sokeefe spaces. trust me when i say i have seen whatever post you're tagging me in#i'm a kotlc tag stalker to the core. i have SEEN these posts don't worry. i just don't interact with them. that's all#when i see them i am definitely tempted to go on a rant about how wrong op is about sophie and keefe's dynamic and how it actually SUCKS#or how much keefe is a shitty character with a poorly written arc and atrocious six-year-old humor. i have written about this AT LENGTH#but guys. the notes of a pro keefe post is NOT the place to be summoning me of all people. what do you even want me to say#i've been @ed on posts like “i love sokeefe” “keefe sencen. you agree. reblog” “people that don't understand sokeefe just don't get it”#<- all fake examples btw. but close enough to real posts i've been summoned to#and it's like. i mean yes i COULD go on a rant about how much i thoroughly disagree. but like. it's just not polite. so i won't#atp how am i even supposed to respond to your mention? i don't even know#on top of that if i reblog a pro keefe post with an anti keefe response for all my probably mostly anti keefe followers to see----#----then they'll agree with me. that version will get reblogged and soon there might be more people on op's post that disagree with them#okay this got way more incoherent than originally intended. hopefully it got the point across. and so on#just things to think about! nothing wrong with @ing me on keefe posts just think about how you want me to respond before @ing me----#----or if i will even be able to respond in any real capacity at all#kotlc#kotlc fandom#keepblr
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Hi,
Is the liam article that you read the new one behind a pay wall? I can't access it but I would be really interested to see what it says about how things went. Would it be possible for you to tell how does it explain what led to his fall? Maybe under a cut so anyone who doesn't want to see can skip it?
Thank you and you don't obviously have to do it if you're not comfortable.
oh that's weird it wasn't blocked for me- here this should work for everyone if not lmk. @ other anon there aren't really very graphic pictures imo that's just the clickbait bs but text is below
basically he suggests that the hotel staff took Liam up to his room and then he changed into incognito type clothes (black jacket and cap) and attempted to sneak out of his room by going from the balcony along the side of the building, as we know he (and others of them) have done many times over the years, and which he apparently is documented as having done pretty recently, and presumably lost full or partial consciousness and fell. The waiter Braian who he spent time with in the weeks in Argentina talked in his first interview about Liam jamming the keycard slot in his door previously, which would explain the part here where employees say they can't get into his room.
It is a picture that will shock music fans around the world: the late British pop star Liam Payne being manhandled through a hotel lobby by three men, just minutes before his fatal fall from a third-floor balcony.
The tragic image, which has been given to the Daily Mail, was taken from CCTV footage recorded inside the CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Buenos Aires where Payne was staying at the time of his death on October 16.
High on drugs, Payne, whose face we have chosen to obscure, appears to have been picked up by the trio of hotel employees – he had, according to one witness, been ‘convulsing’ on the lobby floor. He was taken, via the elevator, back to his third-floor suite.
The question is, why did they move him at all, if he was so ill? Why did the hotel not call an ambulance straight away?
The timestamp on the still image shows 16:54:48. Bizarrely, however, a second picture taken from CCTV outside Liam's room shows the three employees and Payne at 16:54:37. In other words, apparently eleven seconds before they were in the lobby.
The journey from the lobby to the third floor takes at least 90 seconds, according to one guest. Clearly at least one of the timestamps is incorrect.
In an image that will shock music fans around the world, the late British pop star Liam Payne is manhandled through the CasaSur Palermo Hotel lobby by three men, just minutes before his fatal fall from a third-floor balcony. One witness claimed he had been 'convulsing' on the floor
He was taken, via the elevator, back to his third-floor suite. The tragic footage given to the Daily Mail was taken from CCTV recorded inside the hotel in Buenos Aires - where Payne was staying at the time of his death on October 16
This picture outside Liam's room shows the three employees and Payne at 16:54:37. In other words, apparently eleven seconds before they were in the lobby. The journey from the lobby to the third floor takes at least 90 seconds, according to one guest. Clearly at least one of the timestamps is incorrect
What we know for certain is that shortly after 17:00, Payne fell 13 metres from the balcony of his room into the hotel's inner courtyard. He died instantaneously.
At 17:11, an ambulance arrived and certified the singer's death. A subsequent autopsy found Payne had suffered 'multiple traumas' causing 'internal and external bleeding.' The toxicology report found traces of 'alcohol, cocaine and prescription antidepressant.'
Just days after Payne's funeral, which took place on Wednesday at St Mary's Church in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, the images perhaps offer a somewhat clearer picture of what happened leading up to the tragic accident. They also raise two serious questions.
To repeat, the first is why would hotel staff – who expressed concern in their call to the emergency services that Payne could come to serious harm on his suite's balcony – take the intoxicated singer up to his room and leave him there alone?
And second, for reasons I will explain, did Liam fall from the balcony while attempting to leave the hotel undetected - a trick he had been pulling since his days in One Direction and which he had repeated just a month previously to evade a concerned bodyguard in Florida?
If the CCTV timestamp is accurate, the sequence of events begins at 15:53 on October 16 when Liam enters the hotel with his friend, the Argentine-American businessman Roger Nores.
Liam is at this point wearing a black cap – which he donned to avoid being recognised by his legions of Latin American fans – and carrying a small bag containing his personal belongings.
The star appears in good spirits and chats with fans in the lobby before heading up to his room with Nores shortly after 16:00.
Payne died after he fell from the balcony of his third-floor suite - just minutes after hotel staff escorted the pop star through the lobby
Payne's suite was found in disarray, with drug paraphernalia strewn across one of the tables. Furniture had also been destroyed
A few minutes later, at 16:05 if the timestamp is right, the pair return to the lobby. Liam has brought his laptop down with him and – crucially, where this timeline is concerned – left his cap and bag up in his third-floor suite.
He continues to chat with a small group of American fans, discussing his life in Florida, where the singer was renting a $12,000 a month house with his girlfriend, the American influencer Kate Cassidy.
At 16:06, Nores says goodbye to Liam and leaves the hotel. At this time, Liam remains in good spirits and continues to interact with hotel guests. At 16:26, Liam is pictured lounging in the lobby, scrolling on his laptop.
Two minutes later at 16:28, Liam is photographed making one of what witnesses later described as three or four trips up to his room in a roughly 30-minute period. Each time he returns to the lobby, his behaviour appears increasingly erratic.
At one point, a witness recalled Payne receiving an email to which he exclaims: 'F*** this s*** mate,' before striking his computer on the floor.
In a separate outburst, he tells another hotel guest: 'I used to be in a boyband – that's why I'm so f***** up.'
It now appears that on the occasions Payne is said to have gone up to his room, he is likely to have been ingesting narcotics. The next known picture of him is this desperately sad one of him being hauled away by the hotel staff at 16:54:48.
Two of the men pictured carrying Payne away are dressed in the uniform of CasaSur reception staff. The Mail understands that one of the two is chief receptionist Esteban Grassi. The third man – wearing trainers, shorts and a T-shirt – works as a masseur in the hotel spa.
A vigil is held by fans for Payne in Buenos Aires the day after his death. Mourners were filmed singing his songs in candle-light
Heartbreaking moment Liam Payne fans break down in tears at vigil
A few minutes after taking the singer back to his room, the hotel put in a call to the emergency services.
'I'm calling you from the hotel CasaSur Palermo,' says chief receptionist Esteban Grassi. 'So, we have a guest who is high on drugs and who is trashing the room. Erm, so we need someone to come.'
The line then cuts out, but Grassi calls 911 again and continues: 'We need you to send someone urgently because, well, I don't know whether his life may be in danger, the guest's life. He is in a room with a balcony and well, we're afraid he might do something.'
The transcript from the 911 call shows that the operator asked reception staff whether they could gain access to Payne's room. The staff replied that they could not.
But why on earth, if Esteban Grassi was indeed concerned that Payne's life was in danger because his room had a balcony, did the hotel allow the singer to be taken up to that room and seemingly left there? And why would they call 911 just a couple of minutes after doing so? At the time of writing, the hotel has not responded to a request for comment.
It would surely have been more appropriate to hold the 'convulsing' Payne in the lobby and call an ambulance immediately. Did hotel staff prioritise keeping the lobby clear for other guests over Payne's safety and well-being?
The Mail understands that no members of the CasaSur hotel staff – including the three men who carried Payne away – are being investigated by Argentine authorities.
Three individuals have been labelled as 'people of interest' in Payne's death. They include 24-year-old Brian Nahuel Paiz and 21-year-old Ezequiel David Pereyra, both on suspicion of dealing Payne drugs.
An Instagram post by 24-year-old Brian Nahuel Paiz, who stands beside the late singer before he fell to his death last month. The post reads: 'Fly high, Chief. Thank you for having enlightened me and for crossing you into my reality. I will always remember you'
The third man is Roger Nores, who – despite having left the hotel long before Payne's erratic behaviour began – has been accused of 'abandonment of a person before death'.
Nores strongly denies the allegation and told the Mail two weeks ago: 'I never abandoned Liam, I went to his hotel three times that day and left 40 minutes before this happened. There were over 15 people at the hotel lobby chatting and joking with him when I left.'
The prolific entrepreneur – who in 2017 featured in the Forbes '30 under 30' list of influential young people for his role in the energy industry – continued: 'I could have never imagined something like this would happen. I'm really heart-broken with this tragedy, and I've been missing my friend every day.'
But while the behaviour of hotel staff leaves more questions than answers, this new picture published by the Mail today leads back to that second question – and a new possibility as to what actually happened when the singer died.
Quite clearly, the picture shows that as the pop-star is taken back to his room, he is neither wearing his black cap or clutching his bag.
And yet, when Payne's body was recovered by the emergency services at 17:11, he was found to be wearing the black cap and to have on his person the small bag he used when out and about.
In other words, it appears that between being returned to his hotel room and being found dead, Liam Payne got dressed to go out.
Could it be that Liam Payne slipped while attempting to leave the CasaSur hotel via his balcony, in a bid to avoid detection by hotel staff?
The Mail understands that hotel staff remained outside his room – according to a statement in the prosecutor's file – seemingly to ensure he did not return to the lobby and disturb other guests.
Police found a host of drug paraphernalia in Payne's room, including burnt pieces of tin foil and traces of white powder. It is certainly plausible Payne may have panicked in his paranoid state and made an ill-fated attempt to purposefully climb out of his room from his balcony.
In a further revelation, a source close to Payne has confirmed to the Mail that the pop star frequently climbed out of hotel balconies in order to avoid detection. In fact, it was a trick he and his bandmates learnt in the early days of their fame to evade their management team while on tour with One Direction. And, shockingly, the Mail can reveal it is also a trick Payne used just one month prior to his death in Florida.
My source revealed that on September 15, while staying at his rental property in Palm Beach, Payne wanted to go out and purchase drugs. His bodyguard, aware of the singer's problem with narcotics and attempts to stay clean, had closed the door to his room and urged the singer not to go out looking for a 'hit'.
Undeterred, my source says the singer escaped via his balcony, stringing a set of sheets together to act as a rope.
Further proof of Liam's high-risk stunts emerged shortly after his death when a picture resurfaced from 2014 showing the then 20-year-old singer standing on a narrow exterior ledge of the 34th floor of his London apartment building – some 350 ft in the air.
The photograph was taken following a night of raucous celebrations marking One Direction bandmate Zayn Malik's 21st birthday.
Later that day, the singer issued an apology to his impressionable young fans, saying: 'You may have seen a photo of me today, taken on top of a building. I regret being there and having a photo taken of me.'
'I do not endorse any fans trying to repeat this as it is extremely dangerous,' Payne's apology continued. 'It was a stupid and irresponsible thing to do. I am sorry.'
Fans have since taken to social media to point out the tragic foreshadowing between the 2014 picture and Liam's death five weeks ago.
The truth is that no one will ever know for sure what Liam Payne's intentions were on that fateful afternoon of October 16. However, the release of this latest picture from the CasaSur hotel lobby helps fill a hole in the sequence of events that led to his fatal fall.
One thing is for sure, the image of Payne as he is taken out of the lobby, at a time when he appears to have needed care and immediate medical attention, raises new and profound questions about where responsibility lies in the tragic tale of the deeply troubled star.What the fuck
#cw death details#the idea that a trick they learned and started doing#because they were trapped in the hotel rooms by the smothering crushing love of the fans#eventually resulted in liam's death.... it's a fucking lot#I'm mad at people for trying to make a story out of this tragedy trying to make it a movie or true crime podcast story#but honestly fiction couldn't come close to that kind of... what#irony? metaphor? it makes me feel insane to think about it's just... so fucking terrible#I love them so much. and there are real actual ways that sometimes that hurts them and fucks up their real actual lives#and I HATE it and don't know how to reconcile or fix it#I don't want to open a big discussion about the article and details it doesn't feel super comfortable#so no promises to answer more stuff about it idk#but sharing the article#hey speaking of feeling uncomfy why the FUCK are people sharing pap pictures from the funeral on here???#also what is the POINT it's hardly a secret moment in which they had their guards down what in gods name do you think a picture taken#in front of a wall of pap photographers#tells you about anything at ALL
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About my tanks
Usually wouldn't post this but since it's gone from every so often to twice a week now in my asks or messages. Ranging from well meaning to pretty rude.
I am aware the tank I keep my giants in is too small, I've said so before in posts. The person I got them from said my tank was fine at the time so that's why I went ahead and got them.
I do plan to upgrade the tank but I have a number of limiting factors - Money, I don't have £200-300+ to drop on this tank, new substrate and stronger shelves to hold the extra weight. - No car, anything I'd buy has to be delivered to me which greatly limits my options to local stores or very expensive shipping - Where I live limiting my options. All I can get delivered to me(at a reasonable price) currently is either exoterra tanks or fishtanks with lids that wouldn't work/no lids.
So yes I'm aware of the issues and I'm doing what I can with what I've got until I am able to get a new tank. I've plans in place to hopefully have it sorted by late spring.
#bug babbles#I'm not mad or anything but it is getting a little annoying#getting weekly messages trying to be helpful or saying I'm going to kill my millipedes#if they keep up I will simply stop posting about the giants on the blog#or look into rehoming them#though there's no way to be sure whoever I'd give them too would treat them any better#either way I know I promise you all I KNOW the tank is too small I have plans to sort it out next year#it's just not as simple as driving to a store and picking one up I don't have a car and I'd need all new shelves to handle the weight#and even just getting the shelves is hard because I again I need them delivered#I'm not from America there's only a handful of specialist stores in my country and one of them is on the complete other side of it from me#even just getting substrate is a pain in the ass for me I have to order it from the mainland in bulk whenever it's actually in stock#and before anyone says just order off amazon I've had awful luck ordering tanks off there they nearly always have arrived shattered
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I fucking hate it here. How does he manage to get so much support as such a horrible person. I don't give a fuck about your stupid goddamn non-issue made into an issue with your imagination with immigrants or the goddamn gas prices or your inability to find affordable groceries because they DO EXIST. I don't understand how you could ever vote for a man who has been DENOUNCED by SEVERAL PEOPLE, REPUBLICANS!!! WHO WORKED WITH HIM, who incited outrage among his weird followers in 2020 by falsely claiming that the election was "stolen" from him with NO PROOF OF THAT HAPPENING, who has made SEVERAL racist and misogynistic comments, and you all just let him off.
#i know the election hasn't been called yet but i'm giving up now because it's not looking promising#no matter who the opponent is how could anyone vote for someone so horrible#how do you not see#god just make it end already#get it over with#i don't believe in the fucking blue shift anymore for this election just rip the goddamn bandaid off#210 to 230 almost all the swing states left are leaning red just fucking end it#i can't take this shit anymore#us elections#2024 presidential election#my dad asked me if i want to go anywhere tomorrow and i said no and he said why and i said guess#and he doesn't get it#because he's a fucking trump supporter and he's happy#and here i am#unhappy#and you know what he did when i got mad that he didn't get it and just told him?#he laughed. right in my face. my own dad. he doesn't listen to anything i say ever.
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.
the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.
putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.
ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.
#james talks#people will probably be mad about this one but i'm Wright about it. Phoenix Wright.#sorry. had to be done. making up for the lack of pun names and jokes in the last case.#anyway i'm so serious when i say it's a cowardly narrative direction that just completely undercuts the whole fucking point—#it was trying to make about the ways the legal systems of Japan are set up to encourage only closing cases by any means necessary#like it just literally doesn't make even half the point bc guess what? Ema just isn't actually responsible.#so you don't have to have any remotely complicated feelings about the justice system. it WILL get the perpetrators at the end.#Edgeworth? didn't do it. Ema? didn't do it. you don't ever have to have complicated feelings about working with people.#sorry i just REALLY fucking hate this choice so immensely i am more filled with rage the more i think about it#apparently this is a actual tag so.#Ace Attorney critical#resisting tagging this with the main game tag bc i don't wanna hear spoilers for the other games.#or hear annoying fans bitching about my correct take in my asks.#in case it wasn't obvious i am serious about the take but i am also still processing.#probably have slightly more nuanced thoughts when i've heard more opinions from other people and seen their takes.#i already know someone's gonna make some bullshit argument about believing in the good in people and how that makes sense but.#getting a charge of guilty literally is a failstate in this. your client and associates can never Actually Be Guilty of anything—#besides some light corruption. the twist about Lana not being a murderer is fine. it works bc it's clever.#but Ema not being a murderer is shit bc it completely ruins the promise the whole thing sets up. like sure Lana still goes to prison at—#the end but we can't dwell on that at all or feel anything but happy bc it's the last note of the game. so they have to make Ema not guilty#did it ever cross their minds they could've bonded again in prison?#like if you're sending Lana to prison anyway. just send Ema in with her. she can still be guilty of the thing and you can actually make—#more interesting critique of the system as abusing people who have no other choice instead of them—#Being Wronged Through No Fault Of Their Own as if they're innocent little toddlers with no control of anything. like with Edgeworth that—#narrative choice was more acceptable bc he was like 9 years old. Ema was 14. what the fuck are we talking about.#i'm not saying being 14 means she should hang or whatever like she was still a teen but they could've written her to be guilty—#but not A Murderer in a million different ways and they chose the most annoying and cowardly path bc—#it promises to be interesting and nuanced and then just completely flips you off right at the finish line—#as if your interest in its commentary and what it Wants To Say was too much investment as if they didn't spend 80% of the game doing that#by making you commit crimes to save people (Phoenix admits lawyers aren't supposed to investigate so 90% of the evidence is illegal)
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University ever pushes you so low you have to go buy a couple of beers? /srs/neg
I'm gonna vent in the tags for a moment humor me for once /gen
#No but I'm serious this place is a nightmare /neg#Venting in the tags#humor me for a second. you go to this uni and they promise you a place that will teach you how to become an artist#on both like. morality and skill level. they feed you with bullshit for MONTHS. “oh mistakes are fine! they make you grow!”#or “oh this is a community we work all together there are no discriminations this is a safe place to learn and improve”#and we like. work on this projects - THAT WE ARE NOT PAID TO WORK FOR SO *WE* GET TO PAY FOR ALL THE MATERIALS AND SHIT FOR THEM.#to like “help the community” or whatevrr because “artists are born to inspire others and bring joy” and blah blah blah. BUT. LIKE. THE THING#THE THING IS. NONE OF THESE PROJECTS WILL END UP ON OUR CURRICULUMS. WHAT WE WORK 6-7 YEARS FOR ARE NOT SEEN AS REAL EXPERIENCES.#AS IF WE'VE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING FOR 6-7 YEARS. AND LIKE. THE PROFESSORS ARE SO RACIST AND DISCRIMINATORY AS WELL.#If they don't like you they WON'T EVEN GIVE YOU THE EXAM. BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO DEMONSTRATE IF YOU WORKED OR NOT. IT'S UP TO THEM.#THEY DECIDE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF FUCKING COMMUNIST KINDA BULLSHIT WORKERS.#Someone fucks up? *WE* FUCK UP AND EVERYONE PAYS. Someone succeeds? *WE* SUCCEED AND EVERYONE GETS THE CREDITS.#THIS IS ALSO WHY NONE OF THE WORKS WE DO END UP IN OUT CURRICULUM BECAUSE ITS MADE SO THAT *THE UNIVERSITY COURSE* DID IT AND NOT *US*.#IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT AND I CAN'T EVEN GET OUT OF THERE BECAUSE IF I DO MY PARENTS WILL KICK ME OUT CUZ THEY DON'T WANT ME TO BE AN ARTIST#So I'm trying to STUDY for the exams and the “professors” are getting mad at me that I'm not staying 10 HOURS IN THAT MOTHERFUCKING ART LAB.#WORKING AT THEIR NONSENSE PROJECTS THAT WILL NOT END UP IN MY CURRICULUM.#“Oh if you're not willing to put all your efforts for the course this is not the place for you” BITCH I *AM* PUTTING ALL MY EFFORTS!#THIS EXAM IS *LITERALLY* PART OF THE COURSE!! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING BULLSHIT ARGUMENT IS THAT!!!!!#Istg I'm gonna cry I want to kms /NOT SERIOUS#I'm gonna cook dinner. chug my lemon beer. and try to study like a normal person and beg this shit will end soon#Don't worry I'm not going to become an alcoholic I just need something. anything and I'm ABSOLUTELY not gonna start smoking I hate it /srs#tw alchohol mention#alcohol mention#tw smoking mention#smoking mention#vent#tw vent#// mike speaks
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So the problem is. That I don't want to call Ten-cubed "fourteen." I think Ncuti should be. Fourteen. He IS fourteen.
But if I want to talk about Ncuti's specific incarnation of this character. And make it clear that I am talking about him. I will have to call him "Fifteen." But doing that means that everyone involved in this ridiculous naming decision wins.
#maybe we call him 'gatwa!doctor' ??#kind of like we do with the masters#(and we've done this with other doctors too like war and ruth so it's not like there's no precedent)#(then again this will change ALL the numbers going forward. like whoever's after gatwa will '''officially''' be sixteen & so on & so forth)#WHY DOES THE SAME ACTOR GET TWO NUMBERS. ONE OF THOSE WASN'T EVEN A FULL RUN. WTF RUSSELL#like I'm willing to say that maybe. MAYBE. there wasn't active malicious intent. but holy shit the optics are SO bad.#genuinely I am still mad about this and I will be forever#I promise I am not trying to make this one (1) writer man into my parasocial enemy there are plenty of other people I could do that with#who deserve it more. I just get...tired.#like really it's the fact that everyone interpreted the past 2 eras in the WORST faith possible and STRAIGHT-OUT MADE UP THINGS TO COMPLAIN#ABOUT THAT WERE NOT CANON. but there's SO little impulse to criticize ANYTHING regarding russel or dt's 70000 incarnations#which. that discrepancy/hypocrisy isn't COMPLETELY the show's fault. but that. unfortunately. doesn't make it any less annoying.#there was something else I was going to say but I deleted it for being a bit TOO salty#mel screams about The Weird Little Space Show again
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tucks hair behind ear and kisses goomt on the forehead
tonight baby it's about you and me, i got two bags of tomato and basil rice cakes and you got double scenes to be pruned............. u cheeky lil chapter, u >;3c
#ches writes#goomt#yeah oops LOL i ended up with some like. Doubles when there should be No Doubles#u writers out there ever write multiple versions of a scene and then get mad when they're all good. just wondering not like i could relate#or anything. promise#anyway it hink i will have ch69 up and goin by the end of the month and that'll be a happy birthday to me LOL#DOES A BELL KICK#fr tho i'm like REALLY STOKED to get this up i have had this Stored Away for AAAAGGEESSS AAAAAAAAAA#WIGGLE DANCE
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Sorry to every hard worker but i think I'm gonna have it all easy again in the test i have today
#Like ok maybe i didn't studied anything#And maybe I'm gonna get the best marks out of them all again#Sorry but love you all but yeah thank you too babes#I can actually see myself winning#You all better pray for me istg I'll come back and answers evry ask i promise#I'm so lucky and it's funny how i get my shit done with no efforts and my bsf would get mad at me like sorri bbgl#Bye bye yall#Pray for me please
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dude as someone who understands the nuances of enmeshment + the varying degrees of abuse-versus-codependency I'm really more of a Beveryly-Did-Nothing-Wrong-er than the show, which is a Beverly-Is-Equally-At-Fault-er
#am I saying she did nothing wrong? no she did a bunch of stuff that was wrong#mostly lying to Genevieve when she asked her outright if it was her the whole time#but all the stuff that Elliot was doing on her own that she had no idea about? all the intrusions into her life and relationship that#Beverly didn't know how to stop? that doesn't seem like HER FAULT like it seems more like Elliot doing whatever the fuck she wants and#justifying it to them both retroactively by saying that it was all for beverly#like. the misusing her eggs to do something very very illegal and possibly unethical WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE OR PERMISSION the second that she#sets a boundary is um. like a big red flag to me about the nature of their relationship#I'm not saying they're not codependent or anything but like. holy shit how do you get off blaming Beverly for any of this#the end was very much Her Choice (kinda? hormones + trauma + cycling back into toxic patterns is uh. something really hard to break out of)#but like. holy god do you not see how Elliot was the bigger influence on this outcome#most of Beverly's unhappiness was due to the certainty of it making Elliot UNhappy#THATS what was killing her not that she wasn't meant to be happy. we need to compare this to the scenes of women feeling deformed for#uterine Abnormalities or for having miscarriages#like the. my body isn't meant to have babies my body kills babies directly translates over to the lines about not being meant to be happy#like. that's not the case it makes sense for you to feel that way but I promise that's not the case! fuck! this was such a compelling show#I'm mad that it ended on such a shitty note!! I can't say I didn't see it coming but like. fuck!!! what was any of it For!!!!!
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