#i'm not like that about anything anymore
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queued 30-something succposts 👍 i had to stop because i went far enough down my "x" tag to crash my app but i remember where i was so unfortunately i will continue sometime tomorrow. i don't know how a queue works so. i'm sorry in advance for the dribbling and constant stream of succession posts to come. just block the tag "succmas," you don't have to unfollow me, please, i'm begging you. 🙏
#i was so..#happy/sad/passionate just emotive. period.#i'm not like that about anything anymore#i forgot i had ever been like that#👉👈 i think i might be balls deep in a sexy little depressive episode rn#talking about.. like 6+ months deep#and before that i was in the trenches of grief which i still am tbh#think i might've locked down pretty bad recently because i'm no longer going to therapy so it's just like oh well the healing is over#and there wasn't a lot of it#so i guess i will just be an open wound now#which simultaneously isn't true#but is very fucking true actually#i probably shouldn't have pursued cbt last year#bc it's bad to look at a year's worth of weekly therapy appointments and think 'what was accomplished'#but then again maybe it was really the difference between me killing myself and not idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#adam talks too much
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shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.
shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.
you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.
#trauma#ptsd#childhood trauma#sorry just. feeling shitty about not having a past anymore#and please i'm so tired please for the love of god don't tag this with self deprecating shit like 'but i dont deserve anything'#you're only feeding into your mental health getting worse and you're using other peoples attempted positivity to do it#its just mean to both you and the op
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It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.
Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.
Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.
Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.
Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.
We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.
Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:
Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).
Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).
The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).
Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).
Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).
Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.
It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽
And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.
#character meta#relationship meta#think whatever you want it's up to you#but narratively tommy is a plot device#there's no if's or but's about it#I'm saying it like it is#the parallels between Buck's LIs and Eddie is insane#i just thought about making one about it since we mostly talk about how Buck fills all the things Eddie needs in a partner#this is my interpretation of how they've basically written themselves into a corner and the only possible way to go forward is with Buddie#doing anything else is a disservice to the characters and narrative so far#as Tim said#it's only natural and this is it#buck and eddie just naturally embody the ideal partner for each other#tim minear if you make me go through another destiel i will actually personally come and eat your kneecaps i can't do it anymore bro#it's literally all there!!#it's a masterpiece#i don't trust you enough but in Oliver ryan and jlh i trust#buddie#911 abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#911 spoilers#I'm too lazy to tag all the characters because they're unimportant#the entire point of the post is Buck's LI vs Eddie anyways#so there
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Hear me out. I know it's unlikely that Ratio would ever have been foolish enough to directly get taken in by a scam, but considering that we know:
One of the groups specifically tricked by Kakavasha before he joined the IPC was the Intelligentsia Guild
What he tricked them about was Tayzzyronth's Swarm remnants, the exact same thing we see Ratio investigating in his very first appearance in the game, and
The researchers were described as "extremely cautious"
I am surprised that "Ratio was at least somehow connected to the Intelligentsia Guild team fooled by Kakavasha before he was ever even a Stoneheart" isn't more popular with the Ratio and Aventurine fandom.
Like imagine being Dr. Ratio. You tell your colleagues, "This seems like a scam. Are you sure you should trust this 'local guide' you've made contact with? Tell me about him. A picture? Does this even look like an Egyhazan native to you? I won't save you fools from making idiotic decisions." (You end up having to clean up the aftermath of their idiotic decisions anyway. There is sand in places on your body you didn't even know existed before this. How mortifying for the Guild. For you, by association.)
Then, next thing you know, you get a mission briefing slid across your desk from your IPC connections. They want you to work with their new Stoneheart. You open the packet to see... that little bastard with the enthralling eyes who had your moronic colleagues scrambling in the dirt on a backwater planet for months. Apparently he's made a career out of fooling you your supposedly competent guildmates.
You run off to confront him. You never met him personally back then, but you deserve compensation for the idiocy you were subjected to nonetheless. He deserves to know how much of a pain in the ass he's been in your life already without ever having met your eyes--
He proceeds to shove a gun into your hands and tries to make you an accomplice to a suicide. Apparently, this is normal behavior for the man now called Aventurine. Somehow, it's supposed to prove to you that he is a sane and reliable individual.
Absolutely nothing in your life has been normal since Egyhazo.
You would like to have mundane problems, sometimes.
How do you keep ending up in this beautiful manic clever conman's orbit, and why, like binary stars, can you not escape the gravitational pull?
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#dr. ratio x aventurine#ratiorine#aventio#golden ratio#there's too many ship names I don't even know anymore#I just kind of love the idea#of Ratio having H I S T O R Y with Aventurine#before Penacony even goes down#and like#he's salty about it#but Aventurine has so many bigger issues in his life#the people involved on Egyhazo don't even really register#so he's like 'Another guy who dislikes me on principle'#'Fine I can handle this'#meanwhile Ratio is over here comparing their lives to quantum entanglement or something equally nerd-yearning#Ratio: Like mutualist symbiotes I continue to find myself inextricably mired in your schemes#Aventurine: Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about but feel free to keep going#also I'm aware that Ratio was mostly interested in Ruan Mei's ability to create a faux emanator#and not the Swarm itself or anything#but shush#let me have this
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Vacant 🦋🟥
#I would be Maria in this situation I'm afraid#I just loooove what his face does in the 'ANYWAY' Maria scene. He just shuts down completely like NOT THERE anymore#I can't decide if it's a ptsd response to Mary hurling abuse at him or if he's just that far gone he doesn't care about anything#Silent hill 2#Silent hill 2 remake#Silent hill#James Sunderland#Maria#Silent hill Maria#fan art#art#sketch#character art#horror
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imogen & fearne in c3e86
#critical role#ygifs#imogen x fearne#imogearne#I can't hear anything the girls are connecting ruidusly through the mouth#when will they pay#travis going GROSS fcg going yall need romantic music???? the circus bouncin🤡#we're not on the moon anymore we can't connect!! as fearne is already leaning in like we might as well try still???#imogen wearing fearne out ok girls I'm normal......I'm not gonna write about it at all
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bug doodles so i can say i drew something
#oc#original character#alien oc#artists on tumblr#art#aliens#sketch#nyx#having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too#i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right#if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month#just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling#IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR#more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it#i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it#guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art#or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed
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do you guys every think that maybe Bill never saw his parents faces?
I mean. It makes sense that he wouldn't be able to see them with his eye fixed on his front towards the stars. Do you think that maybe he only saw his mother face as she was burning alongside the world he lived in but never got to know?
Do you think he never saw them at all? Do you think that maybe. Just maybe he looks into the mirror and wonders if he even looks like them at all?
Maybe he had them described at one point or another and has vague ideas on what they looked like. Chances are that he wouldn't know what they looked like from the front like him. Maybe he wonders if he may have mixed up details over the years and has completely forgotten what they looked like as he slowly forgot details and desperately tried to replace them with something else theseus' ship style?
#Idk maybe I'm just sleep deprived#gravity falls#book of bill#bill gravity falls#bill chiper#bill chipher#bill cipher#bill cypher#billford#gravity falls bill#gravity falls bill cipher#euclid cipher#scalene and euclid#euclidia#scalene cipher#this is not a website dot com#euclydia#Sorry for the long post its 3 in the morning and my mind won't stop thinking about the tragic triangle#How many times would he forget and replace bits of his memory over the billions of years hed live.#It most likely doesn't look anything like them at all anymore and I'd like to think he's fully aware of that fact#me rambling
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I have been wanting/aiming to release the first part of the next bit of the ford sim as a demo again (meaning: it'd probably be like the first 1/3rd of the next day as opposed to the full day) but I'm worried if I do people will be like
"Oh that was it? That was boring!"
#I've read it 1 million times so I'm not a good judge of if it's funny or boring or anything anymore#Lotta people just want to jump into smooching him and it's like no man#You're gonna talk about sandwiches#We're talking about sandwiches now#And it's like... there's stuff later in the day that's much more exciting but I think it's fun to put out a new playable bit
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22 more images (with some saucy shenanigans and immature "seduction" tactics towards the end) below the cut:
Ryuk makes his grand return and is brought up to speed with Light and L's immoral union. The date seems pretty successful~.
Next (Mature)
Next (Super Abridged)
Previous
First
Master List
Transcript
#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#lawlight#Light Yagami#L#Ryuk#smooch#saucy shenanigans#suggestive dialogue#Ryuk third-wheeling~#L meets Light's quirky-deadly roommate#henh not much to say about this one. basically a continuation of the previous entry despite the absurd update gap.#I've lost the ability to keep anything brief anymore~#L seems a bit out of character with his willingness to go with the plan huh? And don't you think he'd have gotten used to Light's teasing b#now? Maybe it hits a little different knowing for a fact that it's coming from Kira's mouth directed towards him of all people~#Also the picture where Ryuk is saying he'll scram when things get heated is probably my favorite drawing of him that I've done!#he was so intimidating to draw especially over and over in comic form. such a far cry from my usual human style#but like all things I gradually became more and more comfortable drawing him. I'm very happy about that! :)#I have a dumb idea/headcanon concerning the nerds' first copulation attempt~.#if I decide to include it here I will definitely try to age restrict it even though it won't necessarily be graphic.#don't wanna get in trouble lol#I have more trouble drawing spicy scenes than I do with shinigami subjects XD#tw: food issues#they both eat the sketchy 'apple' to prove they're not cowards... despite it not being the smartest idea in the world. >_>
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please please please please please please please let me tell you about this comic I want to make it so bad please I can not wait I am losing it
If I don't make the comic then I'm not going to make it... I need other people to see what is in my brain so I'm not the only one going feral over them
#IM NOT GONNA GET TO MAKE IT FOR LIKE A YEAR...#well.#hmmm...#9 months#BUT it won't launch for like a year#so no one will get to SEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!1#I'm shooting for pride month next year#pri(demon)th#LMAO#please pleae spleaple pla psl eaplse plaese#also when I say I want to talk about them I dont mean like let me ramble I mean... its hard to explain#but I want to be able to be like omg this meme is soooo zagan#and stuff like that#like I want them to Exist for me and for other people#so that they can be like a part of our lives#I mean. I also want to talk about it#but the story is still technically at that point where anything I make right now is still possible to change#cause. like. yknow.#the way writing works#especially for webcomics#ESPECIALLY for long form webcomics#and ESPECIALLY for me#is that until I get to actually see it as thumbnails#I dont know wtf is actually gonna happen.#like. stuff I've had planned for YEARS isn't making it in the furhter I'm getting into development#and I had always had it in my mind as a canon event but it's just sorta not anymore??#so. yeah I dont want to share too much outside of just art of them#cause I don't want there to be like Wrong information out there....#anyways.#we were legion
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I have a lot of complicated feelings when it comes to what Neflix has done with the Witcher, but my probably least favourite is the line of argumentation that originated during shitstorms related to the first and second season that I was unlucky to witness.
It boils down to "Netflix's reinterpretation and vision is valid, because the Witcher books are not written to be slavic. The overwhelming Slavic aestetic is CDPR's interpretation, and the setting in the original books is universally European, as there are references to Arthurian mythos and celtic languages" And I'm not sure where this argument originated and whether it's parroting Sapkowski's own words or a common stance of people who haven't considered the underlying themes of the books series. Because while it's true that there are a lot of western european influences in the Witcher, it's still Central/Eastern European to the bone, and at its core, the lack of understanding of this topic is what makes the Netflix series inauthentic in my eyes.
The slavicness of the Witcher goes deeper than the aestetics, mannerisms, vodka and sour cucumbers. Deeper than Zoltan wrapping his sword with leopard pelt, like he was a hussar. Deeper than the Redanian queen Hedvig and her white eagle on the red field.
What Witcher is actually about? It's a story about destiny, sure. It's a sword-and-sorcery style, antiheroic deconstruction of a fairy tale, too, and it's a weird mix of many culture's influences.
But it's also a story about mundane evil and mundane good. If You think about most dark, gritty problems the world of Witcher faces, it's xenophobia and discrimination, insularism and superstition. Deep-seated fear of the unknown, the powerlessness of common people in the face of danger, war, poverty and hunger. It's what makes people spit over their left shoulder when they see a witcher, it's what makes them distrust their neighbor, clinging to anything they deem safe and known. It's their misfortune and pent-up anger that make them seek scapegoats and be mindlessly, mundanely cruel to the ones weaker than themselves.
There are of course evil wizards, complicated conspiracies and crowned heads, yes. But much of the destruction and depravity is rooted in everyday mundane cycle of violence and misery. The worst monsters in the series are not those killed with a silver sword, but with steel. it's hard to explain but it's the same sort of motiveless, mundane evil that still persist in our poorer regions, born out of generations-long poverty and misery. The behaviour of peasants in Witcher, and the distrust towards authority including kings and monarchs didn't come from nowhere.
On the other hand, among those same, desperately poor people, there is always someone who will share their meal with a traveller, who will risk their safety pulling a wounded stranger off the road into safety. Inconditional kindness among inconditional hate. Most of Geralt's friends try to be decent people in the horrible world. This sort of contrasting mentalities in the recently war-ridden world is intimately familiar to Eastern and Cetral Europe.
But it doesn't end here. Nilfgaard is also a uniquely Central/Eastern European threat. It's a combination of the Third Reich in its aestetics and its sense of superiority and the Stalinist USSR with its personality cult, vast territory and huge army, and as such it's instantly recognisable by anybody whose country was unlucky enough to be caught in-between those two forces. Nilfgaard implements total war and looks upon the northerners with contempt, conscripts the conquered people forcibly, denying them the right of their own identity. It may seem familiar and relevant to many opressed people, but it's in its essence the processing of the trauma of the WW2 and subsequent occupation.
My favourite case are the nonhumans, because their treatment is in a sense a reminder of our worst traits and the worst sins in our history - the regional antisemitism and/or xenophobia, violence, local pogroms. But at the very same time, the dilemma of Scoia'Tael, their impossible choice between maintaining their identity, a small semblance of freedom and their survival, them hiding in the forests, even the fact that they are generally deemed bandits, it all touches the very traumatic parts of specifically Polish history, such as January Uprising, Warsaw Uprising, Ghetto Uprising, the underground resistance in WW2 and the subsequent complicated problem of the Cursed Soldiers all at once. They are the 'other' to the general population, but their underlying struggle is also intimately known to us.
The slavic monsters are an aestetic choice, yes, but I think they are also a reflection of our local, private sins. These are our own, insular boogeymen, fears made flesh. They reproduce due to horrors of the war or they are an unprovoked misfortune that descends from nowhere and whose appearance amplifies the local injustices.
I'm not talking about many, many tiny references that exist in the books, these are just the most blatant examples that come to mind. Anyway, the thing is, whether Sapkowski has intended it or not, Witcher is slavic and it's Polish because it contains social commentary. Many aspects of its worldbuilding reflect our traumas and our national sins. It's not exclusively Polish in its influences and philosophical motifs of course, but it's obvious it doesn't exist in a vacuum.
And it seems to me that the inherently Eastern European aspects of Witcher are what was immediately rewritten in the series. It seems to me that the subtler underlying conflicts were reshaped to be centered around servitude, class and gender disparity, and Nilfgaard is more of a fanatic terrorist state than an imposing, totalitarian empire. A lot of complexity seems to be abandoned in lieu of usual high-fantasy wordbuilding. It's especially weird to me because it was completely unnecessary. The Witcher books didn't need to be adjusted to speak about relevant problems - they already did it! The problem of acceptance and discrimination is a very prevalent theme throughout the story! They are many strong female characters too, and they are well written. Honestly I don't know if I should find it insulting towards their viewers that they thought it won't be understood as it was and has to be somehow reshaped to fit the american perpective, because the current problems are very much discussed in there and Sapkowski is not subtle in showing that genocide and discrimination is evil. Heck, anyone who has read the ending knows how tragic it makes the whole story.
It also seems quite disrespectful, because they've basically taken a well-established piece of our domestic literature and popular culture and decided that the social commentary in it is not relevant. It is as if all it referenced was just not important enough and they decided to use it as an opportunity to talk about the problems they consider important. And don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing anyone to write about Central European problems and traumas, I'm just confused that they've taken the piece of art already containing such a perspective on the popular and relevant problem and they just... disregarded it, because it wasn't their exact perspective on said problem.
And I think this homogenisation, maybe even from a certain point of view you could say it's worldview sanitisation is a problem, because it's really ironic, isn't it? To talk about inclusivity in a story which among other problems is about being different, and in the same time to get rid of motifs, themes and references because they are foreign? Because if something presents a different perspective it suddenly is less desirable?
There was a lot of talking about the showrunners travelling to Poland to understand the Witcher's slavic spirit and how to convey it. I don't think they really meant it beyond the most superficial, paper-thin facade.
#The witcher#Sorry if its convoluted I just got reminded of something and it made me a little angry#and as I had this conversation a lot of times I've decided to put it into written text#sorry about being bitter#but these are some of my favourite books and I'm still upset when I get reminded how badly they were treated in the recent adaptation#I'm not saying you should never change anything#But it's good to have enough background to understand why some things are the way they are in the original#and to understand what the source material is about#we don't talk about particular character's looks or something (altough I feel they could care more about it too)#but central themes tropes and motifs#long post#it may seem like I'm talking from a high horse here#people are welcome to interpret literature however they want#Nobody has a monopol on themes#I just think that in this particular case the cultural context influences the worldbuilding#and if changed it doesn't have the same impact anymore#meta
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Random poll because i was curious about other people's headcanons about Yuuji's feelings. Personally I'm inclined towards either chapter 143 or Yuuji realizing he loved Megumi just as (or after) he lost him (temporarily. He will be back), because i like the angst of it. But idk, what are your thoughts?
#tbh at first i was just planning to have chapter 143. the possesion and then the oblivious or has always known options#but the while thinking about it i wondered if it could have been that way back in the detention center#like I'm thinking of yuuji coming back. hearing megumi say that he doesn't regret saving him and spontaneously thinking “i want to kiss him”#but he doesn't say anything because he is gonna die anyways so what he wants doesn't really matter anymore#itafushi#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga#jjk manga spoilers#if you die I'll kill you is there because i see it as yuuji realizing megumi loves him and thinking “i love him too”#that “i guess i can't die on you then” was gay as fuck#and the fact he said those words again? you can't tell me yuuji hasn't thought about that moment since
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i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.
i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.
one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:
how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?
how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?
how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?
all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.
and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?
and then this was from your apology back in march:
and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.
at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.
#gah there's honestly a lot i could add but...#i feel like i've said enough to get at least some of this off my chest#i'm not even going to go into detail how he'd ask for my presets and use my tracked tag in every single one of his gif posts#all while pretty much never reblogging from me#and i know that other creators expressed the same sentiment#just weird.. you want to be part of a community but then you only take and take and take and never give back#and then complain that you feel unwelcome#and if anyone reading this even thinks 'omg so you can't get inspired by other people's work? ? ?? ? ????' for one second like#this ain't about it#there's a difference between getting inspired by someone and just endlessly remaking other people's work#and i'm tired of even having to explain it again and again#i genuinely am just tired.. i've been tired for a while#i feel like all these waves just killed my excitement and drive to be part of a community to try and bring people and creators together#i don't even want to make anything anymore because it feels like the whole community was just ripped apart#all after i've spent months trying to bring people together encouraging them to interact and support one another but then this happens#and keeps happening and what's the point anymore
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I think spreading historical misinformation is intolerable EXCEPT when it's about the Beatles. I actually think we should be making an active effort to spread more misinformation about the Beatles
#i'm usually really picky when it comes to historical accuracy like it's my job but#anybody can say anything about the beatles and i'll just take it at face value i don't care anymore i don't respect them#theyre nothing but dolls to be played with for my amusement#the beatles
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