#i'm mad at you but. i miss you at the same time. you get it

[bi-writes]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an older!boyfriend simon x reader BUT reader is john price's daughter so is kinda of a forbidden and secret relationship !!!! they've been dating for a long time now until john finds out !!!!!

18+

"how is she?"

"doing well, john. but you don't have to worry about her anymore, you know that right? she's not yours to worry about."

"she is mine. i know she's not..." john huffs. "she may not be blood, but she's mine, yeah? so when i ask 'ow she is, you tell me, kate. can we agree on that?"

"sure, john. she's in georgia. her russian got very good. if you want to know my honest opinion, i think she'll be one of my best."

"well...i wouldn't stand for anythin' less."

"john?"

that voice is music to him. he turns, taking his hat off, and he laughs, genuinely, when he sees you. his whole face lights up, and you make your way to him. it's been months since you've seen him in person--even though he makes you send him constant updates about what you're doing and where you are, you find yourself missing this man and the warmth he gives off whenever you are in his proximity.

he's always looked at you so kindly. he's always taken care of you. whenever you pick up the phone, he's always answered.

"'ello, bug."

he crushes you in a warm hug. he puts a hand on the back of your neck and holds you to his chest, and the tension in his shoulders deflates now that he has you with him.

"hi, john. miss me?"

"well...you were the only one with sense in my house."

"you live alone, john."

"aye."

he pours you a hot cup of tea before he makes you tell him all about your new posting. most of it is classified, and you tell him that, but his face lights up when you talk about the new skills you're learning and all the opportunities that kate is giving you. his face scrunches a little when you talk about the more dangerous ops, but john never has the same regard for his own life.

the mess hall gets busy once dinner time rolls around. his men were not expecting you, and that much is clear when they see their captain even enjoying a meal in public and not secluded in his office. you smile at his sergeants, but when your gaze lingers a little longer on the doors, johnny just nudges you with his elbow.

"miss the big guy?"

"what? no."

"he had a long night last night," he wiggles his eyebrows at gaz, who just laughs a little. "i might need to try the whole brooding, scary look LT has got on. attracts the most bonnie things, fuckin' christ."

your plate flies when you stab at your food too hard. the cutlery clatters as it hits the floor, and you jump a little, swallowing.

"are you alright, bug?"

"huh? yeah, oh...yeah, just...fucking clumsy. i...i'm gonna...find the toilet."

the blood is rushing in your ears as you make your way out. you're vibrating, hot inside, and you feel him before you see him, even in your anger.

when he pulls you into the shadow of a nearby supply closet, you swipe the blade out of your boot and hold it up against his throat. even through the mask, the blade bites, and he hisses as you hold him up against the wall there.

"don't fucking touch me," you snarl, and ghost's eyes are bright and alive as he holds his hands up defensively.

"wot--"

"and don't what me," you snap. "actually, don't fucking talk at all, you cheating, manipulative, british piece of shit--"

"look so pretty," he murmurs, tilting his head to the side. "did you do y'r hair, baby?"

"i will kill you."

"'s olright. last thing i see'll be you."

"i'm not fucking kidding, simon!"

he bends a little, tilting his head, and you breathe out through your nose as he leans his forehead against yours.

"reckon ya spoke t'johnny."

you scoff. "told me all about your winnings last night, lieutenant."

"was no winnings, love, don't be so fuckin' naïve." simon swipes at the handle of the blade, curling his gloved fingers around your wrist and forcing it away from him. "y'r just mad cause y'r cunt missed me."

"don't flatter yourself, asshole."

"so if i pull your knickers down right now, y'won't be drippin', swee'eart?"

"that's irrelevant."

"'s not. turn around and bend over."

simon's sorry, so he eats your pussy from behind. he gets down on his knees, and the crack of them satisfies you immensely, up until you feel his mouth between your cheeks, tongue slicking up your folds. you brace yourself against the wall, palms flat against the concrete as he puts two gloved hands against your ass and spreads you wide to fit himself nicely there. he hums, groans, makes you whine as he slurps obscenely into your cunt, laving at the drip of you until the taste of you floods his mouth.

"simon..." you whimper. "tell me i-it's not true."

he presses a wet kiss to your ass, biting it firm.

"'s not true, love. promise."

"fuck your promises," you sniffle. "you're a professional liar."

"tha' 'ow it's gonna be, innit? not gonna trust me? believe me?"

you rest your forehead against the cool wall, and the shadow of him envelopes you when he stands. he grunts a little as he gets to his feet. his big hands squeeze at the curve of your waist, and you close your eyes when you feel his breath against your neck.

"i'm sorry, simon."

"for wot?"

"i just...i like you so much. so much."

"come 'ere," he murmurs in your ear. he pulls your hips back, pressing your ass against his pelvis, and you dig your nails into the wall when you hear his belt buckle and zipper. "my pretty girl. my pretty, pretty girl."

"i missed you s-so much, simon."

"i know, love. quiet now. someone'll hear."

it's not the worst place you've fucked. you've snuck quickies in the rec room. behind the mess hall. met up in filthy gas station toilets, fallen into the backseat of a car in the parking lot of numerous military bases. even once, you deigned to suck his dick in his office, and you had to hide behind his couch when john came in to ask about an op.

john had a rule. his men were off-limits. he should've thought about that before he hired a man straight out of your wet dreams for his stupid fucking task force.

you're weak. and simon is a man.

inevitable.

you're a mile into pound-town when someone interrupts. simon is cock-deep inside of you, pelvis up against your ass, one hand braced around your throat and the other squeezing your ass. your eyes are rolled back into your head, and there's drooling coming out of your mouth. it's hot, disgusting, filthy to let him have you like this, but it's been weeks since you've seen him, and the phone calls aren't enough.

you love talking to him. you love when he talks to you. he'll never be annoying to you, you'll never get tired of him, but the distances hurts. you want simon to be all around you--inside of you, against you, his voice in your ear and his mouth against yours and his warmth your only sheet, but you can't bring yourself to do more than this.

you're too afraid of disappointing people. you're too scared of simon's rejection. if your relationship is nothing but fun, nothing but sex, you can pretend it isn't real, but you're just lying to yourself now.

you babble, and it sounds like love, but then the hallway light blinds you, and familiar blue eyes nearly kill you.

"jesus christ!"

simon puts his body in front of yours to cover you, using a harsh boot to kick the door closed. you squeak, covering your face with your hands, and you groan audibly as simon pants against your back.

"fuck--" you gasp. "oh...fuck, fuck, fuck!"

simon buries his face into the crook of your neck, laughing a little.

"bloody hell," he breathes. "reckon we're fucked, huh, love?"

"it's not funny, simon! we're in so much trouble!"

"well..." he squeezes your throat gently, tilting your head back. "could still finish. no sense in pretendin' now."

"you are not going to come when he's probably waiting for us outside."

"i'm balls deep in my favorite girl," simon mutters. "could come just fine. just say the word."

"you're disgusting."

"mmm..." simon squeezes your hips. "keep talkin'. i like when y'talk t'me like tha'."

"fucking asshole."

"yeah...yeah."

"you stupid, immature, unhinged pain in my ass--"

"fuck."

well.

you're definitely never leaving this room.

[mey-rin-is-fabulous]

None of that is lame at all and don't stress too much things get so much better after highschool and what happens in highschool doesn't matter no matter how much they want you to believe it does.

I do not miss highschool drama class at all. Like in grade 10 and 11 it was fine but my last year was awful mostly because my teacher sucked. It was so bad I walked out twice on days we had a supply because we were writing our own play and class was unstructured AF as a result.

Like there wasn't much for drama unless it involved me as far as I know.

The most bullcrap thing to happen was I lost my role for our end of semester play because I walked out.

I told our supply teacher I was going to the bathroom for 10 minutes(which I stuck to), we were playing an improv game and I didn't want to because last time I played this game with three people I wound up standing off to the side(improv isn't my strong suit and I'm really bad at it) I tried to explain why I didn't want to but I had three people all talking at me at the same time and so I left.

Came into class the next day and got told oh by the way we gave your role to Amanda(actual name redacted) no chance to explain my side of what happened. And as a result I wound up getting a role that was all adlibbing not in the script at all because they needed me to do something.

So off I went to bawl because I was alone and no one bothered to speak up for me. And that was basically how my last year went.

Same year I had a grade 9 tell me to act like an adult because I was using my friend as a crutch because I had two sprained ankles. We were on a field trip across the border. Look you try walking on two sprained ankles(tripped on a crack in the sidewalk after falling off a high step) after sitting on a bus for hours after sitting in a concrete stadium for like half an hour after a day of walking and then see how I felt(that's aimed at the grade 9.) And oh my god hearing my teacher say I was walking better once we got back to the school made me incredibly mad on top of me having to wait like an hour for my dad to show up to get me.

My last year of high school probably would have been okay if I didn't have that stupid teacher for the only classes I cared about. Yeah I had issues with my other teacher but that was a result of my own issues.

There was also this one teacher who was friends with the previous drama/music teacher who absolutely hated me.

She got mad at me once because I didn't want to walk around talking to people( I have anxiety and I get claustrophobic) she ran a co-op class and had the students do a career fair type thing and invited other classes to walk around and had people do stupid surveys. I actually had to leave the room and go into the hallway the one year because my claustrophobia kicked in(too many people in too small a room.)

And then there was the time where that teacher took on the role of librarian because our librarian retired I think and we were down there and she was freaking out about how nobody could leave after the bell rang until all the precious chrome books were back and I said something about how we'd all just leave any way and she went on the warpath trying to figure out who said it, she yelled at two other people before she figured out it was me and I got told off by both her and my teacher for setting such a bad example for the younger kids. To this day I still don't regret saying what I did and for my last year I avoided the library like the plague because of her.

Speaking of chrome books I read manga on one back in grade 9 English class, Pandora Hearts to be exact I finished our chapter reading for the day and would go read PH after.

And there was that time that I think my gym class trespassed. It was grade 9 and we were trying to figure out the route for the long distance Terry Fox run and we somehow found our way onto someone's property and they had like decent size boats back there kinda like mini tugboats/fishing boats.

And that time my classmates supposedly found an abandoned and spooky mine have no idea if they were telling the truth.

And there was also that time a friend got in a fight with our principal for a supposed dress code violation because her sleeves had like a hole design or something either way it was bull. Then we got new principals and our dress code was abolished so people can wear whatever within reason.

Cosplay was also legal in our school 2 friends and I did it while most of our school was at the staff vs student hockey game and oh this one girl and her friend got so mad at us because we were being loud and obnoxious in a stairwell meanwhile one of our teachers and the librarian(the retired one loved her) were just like have fun but please try to keep the noise down. And then there was that time I walked through the whole school to my locker during our lunch break with the mey-rin wig on which for some reason can pass for my actual hair despite me being a very obvious brunette.

where do TV shows get this idea that high school is constant drama, nothing even fucking happened to me in high school

[naridabarbi]

I'm not usually one for odd pairings or pairing azzi with other people outside of paige or oc but I really liked that azzi and juju pairing. Would you consider another one with those two?

"YOU STILL MAD?"

pairing - juju watkins x azzi fudd

word count - idk tbh

c/w- language, angst if you squint, tension i guess?

a/n - surprisingly everyone approved the first one shot I did of them, I didn't get any backlash, so here I am again, answering another request. I'm still scared to write the smut tho...

Azzi Fudd had been avoiding Juju Watkins all game. Or at least, she’d been trying to. But Juju? Juju was making it impossible.

Every time Azzi tried to cut off a passing lane, Juju was right there, fingers grazing Azzi’s hip like she had every right to touch her. Setting a screen? Juju used it as an excuse to slide a hand around Azzi’s waist, lightly shifting her out of the way.

“Chill out,” Azzi muttered the third time it happened, glaring up at Juju.

Juju smirked, only making Azzi’s irritation grow. “Just playing defense, Mama.”

Azzi rolled her eyes at the nickname. “You’re ridiculous.”

Juju shrugged, completely unbothered. “You love it.”

Azzi did not, in fact, love it. Or at least, she wasn’t supposed to anymore. That was the whole point of a breakup, right?

Yet, when Juju pressed against her on a drive to the basket, their arms tangling together for a second too long, Azzi felt her breath hitch.

She wasn’t the only one affected. She could tell by the way Juju’s fingers flexed against her jersey, the way her jaw clenched just before she backed away.

But Juju was shameless.

“Miss me?” Juju murmured when she lined up next to Azzi for a free throw.

Azzi refused to look at her. “I miss my peace.”

Juju laughed, that deep, warm sound that made something twist in Azzi’s stomach. “Liar.”

Azzi clenched her jaw, forcing herself to focus. But USC was in rhythm, and despite Azzi’s best efforts, they pulled away for the win.

She didn’t even make it to the locker room before she found Juju waiting in the tunnel, leaning casually against the wall like she owned the place.

“You good?” Juju asked, all innocence.

Azzi narrowed her eyes. “No, I’m not good. You were doing the absolute most out there, Watkins.”

Juju grinned. “It’s called basketball, Fudd. Physical game, you know.”

Azzi scoffed, stepping closer, chest rising and falling rapidly. “Grabbing my waist? Running your hand down my arm? That wasn’t basketball, Juju. That was you being a—”

“A what?” Juju stepped forward too, closing the space between them.

Azzi’s breath caught, but she refused to back down. “A manipulator.”

Juju hummed, gaze flickering to Azzi’s lips. “You love that about me, though.”

Azzi opened her mouth to argue, but then Juju’s hand was on her hip again—just like during the game—but this time, there was no one around to stop them.

The tension snapped.

Azzi surged forward at the same time Juju did, their lips colliding in a heated, desperate kiss. It was messy, all the frustration from the game spilling over. Juju’s hands tightened around Azzi’s waist, pulling her flush against her, and Azzi let her, gripping the back of Juju’s jersey to keep her close.

When they finally pulled away, both of them breathing hard, Juju smirked. “You still mad?”

Azzi narrowed her eyes but didn’t move away. “So mad.”

Juju grinned, dipping down for another kiss. “Good.”

[kangshxrtie]

Fourteen | Professionals

"Now my tummy hurts, she's in love with her But for what it's worth They'd make beautiful babies" - Tummy Hurts, Reneé Rapp

your videography group was having its last meeting, wrapping up filming and sorting out the final details.

"have you two practiced for the kissing scene yet?" chaewon asked, her tone casual but curious.

"no, we're just gonna wing it when we film," you replied without much thought.

"are you sure that's gonna work?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

you shrugged. "i mean, we were chosen as the actors for a reason. we're professionals."

"i'll trust y'all," chaewon said, though she didn't seem entirely convinced.

she quickly moved on, checking in with everyone else about their respective duties.

once the meeting wrapped up, you wasted no time trying to get out of there. you had barely texted yunjin since that day, and she knew something was up. the constant voicemails asking why you were ignoring her made that obvious.

luckily, her rule about not speaking to you in public still applied. if she really needed to know that bad, she'd break it.

you speed-walked to your car as soon as you were out of the building. the moment your phone connected, two messages came in at the same time. the first one made you want to turn your phone off entirely, but the other? that one you needed to reply to.

huh yunjin (01) are u going home? can i come to u?

nien are u gone already? i wanna hang out y/n NO NOT YET where are u nien i'm standing at my car rn y/n u want me to come to u?

nien u can we can come back & pick up ur car l8r y/n OKAY heading over now

you shut off your car, taking your keys with you as you made your way across the parking lot to nien's car. on the way, you passed chaewon and yunjin walking together. without missing a beat, you made a big show of hugging nien once you reached her, and of course, she played along perfectly.

as you walked around to the passenger side, you caught yunjin's eyes. she was staring at you in disbelief while chaewon looked at her, utterly confused.

nien started the car, handing you her phone so you could pick the music. yunjin could never.

"hitting them would be double points," you muttered, eyeing nien's backup camera.

"i don't need my intrusive thoughts voiced out loud like this," she said, shaking her head.

"maybe it's a sign," you joked.

"damn, they moved too fast," nien sighed, finally able to back out.

once you two were out of the parking lot, you let yourself relax, only to immediately get another text from the one person you didn't wanna hear from.

huh yunjin (01) so u can leave w nien but can't tmb? y/n y/l/n she texted me to hang out first huh yunjin (01) so she's more important than ur actual gf now mayb u 2 are playing ur roles a lil too well y/n y/l/n weren't u leaving w chaewon anyways 🤔

huh yunjin (01) i was js giving her a ride home i was gonna go to urs right afterwards y/n y/l/n js hang out w chaewon huh yunjin (01) ur acting weird y/n y/l/n i gotta go hanging out w nien yk huh yunjin (01) we're gonna hv to talk abt this

"was it yunjin?" nien asked, noticing how annoyed you looked while typing.

"yeah, she's mad i left with you instead of hanging out with her," you replied, sighing.

"aww, you chose me over her? i feel special," nien teased.

"well, i would've chosen literally anyone over yunjin right now," you admitted.

"i can turn around and take you back, then," nien said, nodding toward the direction you came from. "go hang out with your other hoes."

"wait, no," you protested. "i wanna hang out with my favorite."

"i'm your favorite?" nien glanced at you for a second before turning back to the road.

"yeah. my favorite hoe," you finished with a grin.

"as long as i'm your favorite in something," she muttered.

"okay, you can't say it like that—now i feel bad," you said, frowning.

"i'm just speaking my truth," nien shrugged.

"honestly, though... you've been my favorite person lately," you admitted.

"yet you still won't date me," she sighed dramatically.

"stop joking, you don't actually wanna date me," you said, shaking your head.

"i'm serious," nien said, voice softer. "i'm literally just waiting for you."

you stared at her for a moment before shaking your head again. "i'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, and we're just gonna be good friends for the rest of the day."

"whatever you want, y/n," nien said with a small smile.

you rolled your eyes at nien's little smile, shaking your head as you turned your attention back to the music playing through the speakers.

"where are we even going?" you asked, realizing you never actually planned anything.

"hmm... dunno, i just wanted to steal you away," nien said, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. "but now that i have you, i guess we should figure something out."

"you kidnapped me without a destination?" you teased.

"excuse me, but you willingly got in here," nien pointed out.

"no proof of that," you shot back without missing a beat.

"i have witnesses and text messages," she countered, glancing at you with a smirk.

"yeah? well, they're not here," you said smugly, folding your arms.

nien rolled her eyes. "okay, luckily i don't wanna talk to my witnesses."

you chuckled before tilting your head. "so, what exactly are we doing now?"

"well, since we already ate, we could get dessert," she suggested.

"that works," you agreed with a nod.

nien pulled into the parking lot of a small ice cream shop, the neon sign glowing softly in the evening light. she parked and turned off the engine before glancing at you.

“you’re paying, right?” she asked with a grin.

“you asked me to hang out,” you said, giving her a look. “i think that means you owe me ice cream.”

she sighed dramatically. “fine, but only because you’re my favorite.”

you raised an eyebrow. “your favorite what?”

nien smirked. “wouldn’t you like to know?”

you rolled your eyes but felt the warmth creeping up your neck as you both got out of the car.

as you stood in line, nien nudged you. “what are you getting?”

“i don’t know yet,” you said, scanning the menu. “maybe something classic. you?”

“something that makes me look hot while eating it,” she joked, flipping her hair dramatically.

you laughed. “yeah, good luck with that.”

nien smirked. “what, you don’t think i could pull it off?”

you scoffed. “i think i’d be too busy cringing.”

she gasped, feigning offense. “i’ll have you know, i’m very good at looking attractive while eating ice cream.”

“okay, now i have to see this,” you said, crossing your arms.

“luckily, i’m a professional.,” nien quipped, stepping up to the counter to order.

you shook your head, trying to suppress a smile as you placed your order after her.

a few minutes later, you both sat outside at one of the small tables, ice cream in hand. you took a bite of yours, but your attention flickered to nien when you heard her make a satisfied sound.

you glanced over just in time to see her take a slow, exaggerated lick of her ice cream, her gaze meeting yours with a knowing look.

“okay, stop,” you said, nearly choking on your spoon.

“what?” she asked innocently, licking her ice cream again, just as obnoxiously slow.

“that is not how normal people eat ice cream,” you said, covering your face with one hand.

“well, i never said i was normal,” she teased. “and you asked for this, remember?”

“oh my god,” you groaned, shaking your head.

nien just laughed, taking a normal bite this time. “alright, i’ll behave… for now.”

you shot her a look. “i can’t believe this is what i’ve been missing out by not becoming friends with you all these years.”

“glad we’re here now,” she said with a satisfied grin. you hated how true that was.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the small smile creeping onto your lips. the two of you sat there for a moment, the warm evening air settling around you as the soft hum of passing cars and distant laughter filled the silence.

nien absentmindedly twirled her spoon between her fingers before looking at you. “so, are you regretting it?”

“regretting what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“letting me steal you away tonight,” she said, tilting her head slightly.

you let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “not really.”

her lips curved into a knowing smile. “see? i’m not so bad.”

“i never said you were,” you admitted, stabbing at your ice cream with your spoon.

nien leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand as she watched you. “you could’ve gone with yunjin.”

you sighed, looking down at your cup. “yeah… i could’ve.”

“but you didn’t.”

you looked up at her, and for once, she wasn’t teasing or smirking. just looking at you—like she was waiting for you to say something you weren’t sure you were ready to admit.

you exhaled, shaking your head lightly before meeting her gaze again. “no… i didn’t.”

she held your stare for a moment longer, then smiled, small, but genuine. “of course you chose me. i’m just better.”

you huffed a quiet laugh, unable to stop yourself from smiling back.

it was the last day of filming; aka, you and nien's final day on the project until it was time to present the video.

you and nien sat off to the side, running over your script one last time while soobin and yeonjun set up the scene. across the room, chaewon and yunjin were directing them on what to do, while keeho and intak adjusted the cameras and perfected the angles.

"you two ready?" soobin asked once everything was in place.

"yeah," nien nodded, climbing onto the bed beside you.

"just remember, act natural. we're not filming a porno, just a kissing scene," yeonjun said.

"i didn't think we were," you shot back, raising an eyebrow.

"just had to make sure you knew," he shrugged.

you and nien laughed before locking in. you two had to focus and get the scene done.

Masterlist ــــــﮩ٨ـ Next

[sylveriasarcana]

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[sebbyisland]

akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)

[itz-pandora]

Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"

[wereh0gz]

Genuinely starting to regret going to that hiring event and getting this job. My boss literally Does Not Communicate Ever

[macchiatosdumptruck]

.

[sskk-manifesto]

:/

[krafterwrites]

Speed Sim just put in another one of the stupid fucking golden egg events, it's so over

[kakusu-shipping]

I apologize for not posting anything at all. I'm no where near the end of VLR but these people have invaded my brain and I can't do anything about it.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

[highraccoon]

Love to see someone in the S&B fandom who is critical of Darkling and Nikolai (some white boys get too much love imo 😒). How do you feel about s2 of S&B?

ooh. so. to preface this, i will say that i do actually really love all the books in the grishaverse series (even though kos and row are... something else.) and that includes the original trilogy. my favorite characters from the original trilogy are Mal, Genya, Alina, David, Oncat and Misha.

so you can see where this is going.

season 2 was filled with a lot of creative writing choices and interesting character arcs. but just because something is both of those doesn't make it necessarily good. and it wasn't. i wanted to like season 2 so much but there's only so much i could take. i think around episode 4 i had just lost all hope for it. i finished the season and wished i hadn't.

all i can say is i'm glad the series isn't canon and that the books are. cause season 2 was such a disservice to the fans and the series.

[trans-leek-cookie]

comes out of the "googling things about the disorder you have and then googling a vague medical term and not getting a clear answer and complaining about the vagueness of the term to your friend who probably has more familiarity with the term and it's implications in context" session covered in blood and wailing and writing on the floor

[sylveriasarcana]

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