#i'm like this because i don't sleep much and because i spend too much time with my phone
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kashverse · 2 days ago
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How do you think would bf!gojo survive the flu, "IF HE SURVIVES IT"
I think that dudes rarely get sick maybe also because of his infinity but if he gets sick, that he will be the babiest of the babies
the real ones remember @naomigojo's germophobe reader x gojo...can't say i wasn't thinking about it when writing this 🙂‍↕️
gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer alive, lay draped over you like a particularly dramatic victorian-era widow who had just received word of her beloved's tragic demise in the war. except, in this case, the war was flu season, and the tragic demise was his immune system.
"i have fallen," he wheezed, dramatically throwing his arm over his eyes, his long limbs effectively pinning you to the mattress. his forehead burned against your shoulder, sweat slicking his white hair to his skin. "love has made me weak. love has made me—" he coughed, a truly pathetic sound, before groaning. "—love has made me sick."
"no, i made you sick, dumbass," you croaked, shoving at his shoulder, but he clung to you tighter like a koala with abandonment issues. "i told you not to sleep next to me!"
"and let my sweet, sniffling angel suffer alone? never," he gasped. "never!" another dramatic cough. 
"but now… now i too must bear this curse."
"it's the flu, s'toru."
"oh, so now you don't care that your dear husband is dying?"
"we're not married."
"technicalities," he rasped, reaching for the tissue box and dramatically dabbing his forehead like a victorian lady about to faint at a ballroom dance. except, unfortunately, it was the same tissue you had just blown your nose into.
you gagged. "ewww!"
"sickness of love," he whispered, looking at you with glassy, feverish eyes, voice hoarse but still somehow smug. "our love transcends germs."
"our love is a biohazard."
he chuckled weakly, pressing his fever-warmed forehead against yours. "i feel like i got hit by a train."
"you sound like you got hit by a train."
"oh yeah? well, you sound like a cartoon villain with bronchitis," he shot back, voice cracking pathetically halfway through. he punctuated his insult with an even more pathetic sneeze, which sent his whole body jolting. you felt the full force of it because he was still sprawled on top of you. "get off of me," you groaned, shoving at his heavy frame, but he only groaned dramatically in response.
"no. i must remain close to you. i may not have much time left…"
"you're not dying!"
"…but i shall spend my last moments with my beloved. tell me, my dear," he sniffled, clutching onto your hand. "if i go, will you—"
"i am going to smother you with a pillow."
"oh, how cruel, how heartless!" he gasped, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, as if he were a fainting maiden in a period drama. "to think i have loved you so deeply, only to be cast aside in my weakest moment! oh, woe is me!"
"woe is me," you muttered, forcefully shoving a tissue into his hand. “blow your damn nose, properly, before you start monologuing about the fragility of life again.” he sniffled loudly, taking the tissue before collapsing dramatically against you again, sighing like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"this," you grumbled, voice clogged with congestion, "is exactly why i told you not to sleep next to me."
"but what would be the point of my infinity if i couldn't let it down for the one i love?" he murmured, blinking up at you blearily. despite the absolute mess of tissues, the shared misery of high fevers, and his insufferable dramatics, you sighed, feeling your chest soften ever so slightly. 
"…you're still an idiot," you muttered, tucking the blanket over both of you.
"ah, but i'm your idiot," he murmured back, before promptly sneezing directly onto your shoulder.
…you were going to kill him.
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kanmom51 · 1 day ago
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4 months to go...
Someone clearly has JM etched on their hand and on the brain.
Miss those two so damn much.
Funny how as time is closing and discharge from military etching closer I feel like it's moving so much slower than the first 14 months did. Is it only me that feels that?
But time is nearing, nevertheless, and as it is, I can't help but think what comes next. What is the day after going to look like?
Obviously, I'm not the only one thinking of that.
The two of them are clearly contemplating the day after as well.
We don't know what their hopes and wishes are for that post military future is, but I can tell you what mine are.
My hope for post military is that they will continue to be as openly inseparable as they have been going into the army and spending those 18 months of their service together.
I know they are together and their relationship is as strong as ever. With as little as we've been getting from them in the past 14 months of their service, they have shown us that ever so loud and clear.
I want them to be able to continue and be open about it.
I want us not to go back to the reality of 2023. A reality in which we KNOW they were spending their time together, but we weren't supposed to know it. A reality in which they gave us crumbs and clues and puzzles to solve but couldn't be loud and clear like this:
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or this:
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I do feel like there has definitley been a shift since their joint enlistment.
Obviously, them enlisting together was a HUGE part of it.
AYS and everything we were allowed to see in that show (and everything we know we weren't allowed to see as well) was just as HUGE.
But it doesn't end with that.
14 months of service and we barely got anything from them. But when we did, even more so in the last few months, it always contains a clear message of their "togetherness", take it in anyway that you will (they spend free time together, sing together, exercise together, shower together, have heart to heart conversations with each other before going to sleep - together - might not have been said but clearly implied).
To little ole' me this is not a coincidence. This is a clear pattern. A plan in place, one may think or conclude.
So yes, my hope is that when we reach the end of these 18 months we will be walking into a new reality. One in which they don't necessarily 'come out' officially (I think that is asking too much of them, and it would be a huge decision for them to make - together - one that will obviously impact not only them, but the whole of BTS), but do not shy away publicly from just how close and co-dependent they are of each other. A reality in which, dare I say, it's an obvious natural progression for them to continue to live together as "roommates" (in JK's huge mansion, of course) because "they got used to living together while in service". One in which being seen together in public isn't a big deal, it's a norm. One in which neither of them has to cower away or freeze or double take when they are caught on camera together (JK's deer caught in the headlights looks at the camera in mind). One in which when they aren't together them mentioning of the other isn't an "oh" or "ah" moment, but a natural "not a biggie" thing, because that's just something they obviously do. One in which ot7 army who love to ignore just how close those two are (because they are too close and too suspicious and acknowledging that means acknowledging there is more there and that Jikookers aren't delusional shippers that are fantasizing or fetishizing those two, but clearly seeing what they have been purposefully ignoring) cannot continue to ignore any longer.
And I wouldn't have wished for all of the above if I didn't think that was something they wanted.
Because most of all I want one thing.
Most of all I want them to be happy!!
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forthefictionallesbians · 2 days ago
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I don't think we've really grappled with affini biorhythms, and their impact on society. We've all heard stories about them from overeager florets, or the urban legends about what happens if an affini decides to stay near you for too long. It's honestly kind of terrifying, knowing that our wills can be so easily subverted on the whim of our benevolent overlords.
But at the same time, I can't think of the last time I saw the parks on Tyriador-IV this crowded. Or the bars and restaurants, the bookstores and museums. Yes, some of that is undoubtedly that the old pollution has been scrubbed, transit has been made cheap and affordable, outdoor spaces have become vastly more pleasant, and we no longer need to work long hours just to survive. The affini claim that it is simply due to that, the fruits of their social reforms and alteration of our material circumstances. That is the easy narrative, one I haven't even heard the most rabid feralists question, though they see it as far more sinister than I believe it to be.
I think otherwise. If you're reading this post, I'd ask that you look, really look, at the spaces where people tend to congregate. The spaces and venues that fill up day after day. I'm willing to bet that, regardless of the planet or vessel you're on, you'll see the same thing I've noticed--people go where the affini are. Even with all the complaints I've seen independents make about their incessant flirting, or how unsettling it can be to be surrounded by florets, the majority of the humans here spend significant amounts of time hanging around areas also filled with affini. Even I've found myself doing it.
Nobody I've asked has even been conscious of this bias in their own behavior. Most seem to think I'm some feralist grasping at straws, or just plain crazy. But I'm not. I am as grateful as anybody that they got rid of the old fascist Accord and replaced it with this utopia. I just need people to take me seriously when I say that I think we're all unconsciously dosing ourselves on their biorhythm. Not to the point where we're getting tied to any one individual affini. But collectively? Our entire species is drifting towards subservience in ways we didn't even realize. I tried to avoid all affini this last week, staying in my hab to avoid any biorhythm exposure, and I almost had a panic attack. It was only after my Hab AI called for a crisis vet that I realized I used to have panic attacks all the time, and they'd stopped after the affini took over. Just being around them is subtly soothing, and we're slowly waltzing our collective way towards dependency.
I wonder how much easier to domesticate we've gotten after years of daily exposure. Not everyone is as on-the-brink as I am, and obviously there are still plenty of stubborn holdouts. But please, search your feelings. See if you enjoy being out and about, and then test whether you enjoy it as much if you're still outside but away from any affini. Everyone needs to be aware of this, even if I myself can't resist how much I enjoy their presence.
It's hard to even fall asleep without a biorhythm subtly pulsing through me these days. I'm very grateful that Phiola has been letting me sleep firmly nestled in her vines. But please, don't discount my words because I'm a ward, and will likely be a floret soon. This feels like important information to share, if just so all the rest of you wannabe independents can know just how deeply ensnared you already are.
-Eric Statler, he/they
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yandere-sins · 2 days ago
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Hi there long time lurker here for you blog and all your works! I'm not kidding its been a long time and I love your writings. May I request a Jiaoqiu x vidyadhara reader who is a sassy noble person with a sweet and kind heart but she somehow got severely injured?
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Thanks for requesting, I'm so glad that you enjoy my blog enough to ascend from the lurking stage! :D Hope to hear more from you in the future!!
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
♡ It's unlikely that Jiaoqiu is the first person to hear about your injury; however, he's the first one you see by your side once you open your eyes again. He sits there, stern-faced, ears twitching. His hand is holding yours almost a bit too tight, with some of his fingers resting on top of your pulse as if he's afraid you'll slip from his grasp. But you don't get the time to ask him why he looks so sullen because he jumps up and calls out to you the second he notices you waking up. Although he hovers over you when it becomes clear that you have regained your conscience, there is a certain distance between you two, and you can't really understand why. Even if you ask if something is the matter, he won't tell you, brushing you off and leaving if you insist on speaking about it. Not for long, just to cool off. After all, he still has to make sure you're fed and taken care of. Jiaoqiu won't allow anyone else to make your food, and he has to be in the room to review any medicine you receive.
♡ The reason why it feels that he's distant is because he is so angry. Angry at you, angry at the circumstances that put you in danger, and the most angry at anyone who hurt or allowed you to get hurt. Jiaoqiu is trying to keep his feelings in check in front of you, but he always knew things would play out like this. Countless times, he told you how reckless you were. That, no matter how good your heart was, you never thought twice before putting your life on the line. You find him flexing his fingers at the murderous thoughts in his mind or have him touch you just a tad too harshly when the feelings interfere with your treatment. He wants to throw all these accusations and emotions at you but refrains. You are a patient, and your recovery is more important to him than anything else.
♡ Especially when your recovery forms you into an adorable little mess for him to figure out. Vidyadhara are tricky organisms, and Jiaoqiu does everything he has to learn from Bailu how to treat you properly and then use the knowledge to the best of his abilities. He spends almost more time on research than actually treating you, but he won't allow a single mistake. Nobody is allowed to treat you except him, so you are also counting on him, only adding more pressure. It's all worth it, though, when he can observe you slowly regain your strength and liveliness, the bruises turning back into your skin color and your wounds closing up. No matter how much sleep he loses over it, he wouldn't miss the nights he spends with you for anything; protecting your sleep, slipping into your bed and cuddling with you when the nightmares act up, and getting to be with you when you wake up in the morning, feeling a little better every day.
♡ For a while, your conditions are a blessing as he gets to take care of you properly. Even just the mundane things, like brushing your hair or helping you wash up and dress yourself, thrill Jiaoqiu. It's almost a little sad that it has to end. He wants you to be healthy again, he really does! But won't you get yourself in trouble again once you don't need to be on bed rest? Won't you fight again, argue again? Are you going to keep coming back more beat-up than the last time for him to fix? Of course, someone as observant as he is notices your growing restlessness and desire to be up and of help. But this is not just about your self-preservation anymore, it is also about him. What will Jiaoqiu do if, one day, you just don't return at all?
♡ He can push these thoughts aside for a while since it takes time for you to be up and running again. But you begin slipping out of his grasp too quickly for his liking. And when you refuse to even be fed any more, telling him you are ready to go back to "normal" food, Jiaoqiu has to make a decision. "One last meal together," he tells you. One more, and he won't complain about you taking control of your own life again. He insists you take another spoon and another—enough so that the sleeping pill can really take effect.
♡ A patient who's still barely able to wake up can't be released from his care, right? You'll probably not feel so great the next few days, and he can't have you collapse in the street. Jiaoqiu has to at least find out the cause! He tells himself it's only for a few more days. Just one more week. He is merely prolonging the bedrest until you are fully healed—many would beg for a chance to get some good rest, and surely you will appreciate it, too. It's all in your best interest, but he certainly doesn't mind spending some extra cuddle time with you, doting on his favorite person.
♡ And while you are asleep, and he knows you are in a stable condition, he can finally take care of the actual problems that caused you so much harm. Because he still can't and refuses to forgive anyone who put their marks on you and made you suffer. They don't deserve his mercy, and he has feelings that he still needs to flush out of his system so he can give you the love and affection you deserve. Jiaoqiu will make things right, so they won't come to bite you in the butt once you are keeping yourself busy again. Even if it'll take a while longer for you to be back on your feet—that gives him enough time to prolong these wretched people's torture as long as they deserve.
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forestclan-clangen · 3 hours ago
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MOON 7 (Part 2)
<< FIRST | < PREVIOUS |
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After the Gathering, Morningpaw and Talonpaw look at the stars together. Morningpaw feels comforted by this, but Talonpaw can't help but remember Shiverkit's - now Shiverpaw's - omnious statement from moons ago - "I'm worried about the hungry eye." He finds comfort in gently resting his tail on top of Morningpaw's.
(Talonpaw, apprentice, male, 11 moons) (Morningpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons)
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Windfur bosses Cloudthunder around, asking her to carry his stuff and help him reapply herbs for Olive. Cloud snaps back at him after one too many orders, and after seieng that Olive wasn't happy being handled right now. Windfur bristles in anger and leaves the nursery. Olive is thankful that Cloudthunder noticed she was at her limit. She's happy to have a clanmate like her.
(Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 40 moons) (Windfur, medicine cat, male, 21 moons) (Olive, mediator, female, 63 moons)
---
Cloudthunder usually didn't mind spending time with Windfur. She knew he was saddled with the role of cleric early in his life, and became the sole medicine cat of ForestClan at far too young of an age. Out of a sense of compassion, she made sure that someone was looking out for him and helping him out, if he needed it.
But today, he clearly woke up on the wrong side of his bedding. She had asked if he needed any help, and he immediately set her to work without so much as a "good morning". She didn't want to complain, but she started feeling less like his friend, and more like his apprentice.
"Carry these for me. Thanks," he said as he dropped a pouch of herbs wrapped in large oak leaves in front of her. "I need to check on Olive."
Cloudthunder watched him grab sticks and moss before pushing past her and padding towards the nursery. Her tail twitched in annoyance, but she picked up the pouch of herbs and trotted after him. Her ears twitched as she started catching the conversation between Windfur and his patient.
"Can this wait?"
"No."
"I was just waking up. At least let me eat first."
Cloudthunder entered the nursery and saw Windfur hovering over Olive with fresh moss. The cleric was already untying the ropes that were securing her brace.
"Windfur." Olive's eyes narrowed, clearly unhappy.
"Give me a moment. And don't try to thrash your tail - I can see your muscle spasms. I told you that will have to be the last thing that heals," Windfur chided. The tom was disregarding Olive's frustration, which was very unlike him.
The last straw was when Windfur held out his paw to Cloudthunder. "Pass me the comfrey please."
"You know what?" Cloudthunder meowed as she put down the bundle of herbs. "Nope. You're gonna go to the cooking fire or the dry food rack."
Windfur looked at Cloudthunder with bewilderment.
"Why?"
His sincerity almost made Cloudthunder feel bad for him. Almost.
"Because you either didn't get enough sleep last night, or you didn't eat anything since yesterday. You've been bossy all morning and you haven't been paying attention to the way you speak to people." Cloudthunder's tail twitched with annoyance.
Windfur's fur bristled in anger. "I'm doing my job," he hissed.
"Yeah, and you're being as prickly as a porcupine about it," Cloudthunder retorted. "So yeah, you're going to go eat something and bask in the morning sun for twenty minutes. Then you can refresh Olive's poultice and make her a new brace."
Windfur looked like he was going to retort, his tail twitching in anger. Instead, he stormed out of the nursery and out into the camp.
There was a long moment of silence in the nursery.
"...Thank you," Olive meowed.
Cloudthunder's ear twitched in response. She watched Windfur across camp reluctantly picking at jerky from the food rack. "It's no problem. He's been bossy since this morning. It's out of character for him, honestly."
Olive huffed. "I've been dealing with him daily. I'm aware."
"Does he always shove you around in the morning like this?"
"No, he's amenable. Normally I can eat something before he'll refresh my bandages."
"I'll get you something now, then," Cloudthunder decided. She beamed at the brown molly. "Do you have any favorites?"
"I quite liked that roasted vole Barleywave made yesterday, if there's still some preserved," Olive replied. She gave her a look of gratitude.
"Can do." Cloudthunder bowed and padded towards their preserved food pile. She saw Windfur eating in a patch of sunshine, still appearing disgruntled, but taking large bites out of his food. Her whiskers twitched in amusement.
Yeah, he wasn't himself when he was hungry.
---
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Shiverpaw is nervous while taking care of Olive, and the older cat notices. Olive offers to teach Shiverpaw a helpful skill - one that helps her feel more secure in her own paws. Olive feels like perhaps she still has a place in this world, and promises herself to stay - to teach cats like Shiverpaw...and her children, too.
(Shiverpaw, medicine cat apprentice, female, 7 moons) (Olive, mediator apprentice, female, 63 moons)
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Morningpaw and Clouthunder meet a loner at the border. Morningpaw recognizes them, and is happy to see them! Their name is Tree. After spending some time speaking with them, Cloudthunder likes Tree's calming presence, and their knowledge on Nature's Mockery. She invites them into the clan, and they tentatively accept. It wouldn't hurt to have a home to stay in.
(Morningpaw, apprentice, female, 9 moons) (Cloudthunder, warrior, female, 40 moons) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 38 moons)
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---
Cloudthunder was eager to stretch her legs that morning. The day was warm for the middle of leaf-fall, and the trees still had their colorful leaves. When Redstar asked if she could check the border alongside Morningpaw, she had no complaints whatsoever. Morningpaw seemed rather nervous, but then again, when wasn't she nervous?
As the two cats made their way towards the riverside border, Cloudthunder would glance behind her every now and again to make sure the apprentice was keeping pace, only to see Morningpaw staring at her feet as she padded behind her.
"How you doin', Morningpaw?" Cloudthunder asked.
"Huh?" Morningpaw lifted her head, her eyes wide. "Oh, I'm good."
"Glad to hear it! You enjoying your first leaf-fall?"
"Oh, yeah," Morningpaw's tail twitched. "I really like the pretty colors on the leaves. It's too bad that the pines don't change color, though."
"The conifers staying the same are what make them reliable, though," Cloudthunder said with a twitch of her whiskers. "Good ol' evergreens! Trees are neat, honestly. You wouldn't believe how many shapes and sizes they come in!"
Morningpaw let out a polite laugh in response.
Their conversation came to a close as they approached one of their borders by a small river. Cloudthunder appreciated it while it was still here - it normally froze or dried up entirely by leafbare. She considered taking a sip from it, until she remembered her mentor's chiding when she was a young apprentice. "Did you want to get violent stomach ills? Because drinking pond water is how you get stomach ills!" Cloudthunder wanted to swat at her mentor at the time, but now she couldn't help but remember the memory fondly.
As the two cats re-marked the border, Cloudthunder noticed that Morningpaw was acting odd. She kept scanning over the bushes on the other side of the stream, as though she was waiting for something to dart out of them. The warrior knew that Morningpaw was always a nervous cat, but this was getting a bit silly.
"Whatcha looking for, Morningpaw?"
Morningpaw bristled and looked away. "Nothing."
Cloudthunder raised and eyebrow. "You look like you're expecting something."
"I'm not."
"Well, okay. But remember that your nose will likely - " Cloudthunder cut her sentence short as the wind carried an unfamiliar scent. Her eyes narrowed and she started tasting the air.
"What? What is it?" Morningpaw asked as she started to mimic Cloudthunder.
The grey and white molly wasn't quite sure, actually. It definitely wasn't something immediately dangerous. Deep Root entities had a very distinct scent that she could pick up from at least twenty fox-lengths away. Wet, slightly acidic, and smelled like blood. This wasn't it.
After a few moments, she picked up that this had to be a cat. She looked at the other side of the river and her eyes narrowed as she could see a faint shadow hiding in the bushes.
Cloudthunder frowned and her muscles tensed. "Alright, outsider. I can both see and smell you. It's fine, you can come on out. We have no quarrel."
Nothing moved at first. Cloudthunder opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by a head of long, pale brown fur springing its head out of the bush like a gopher. The cat's emerald green eyes twinkled with a quiet mirth.
Morningpaw gasped. “Tree!” Her amber eyes were filled with relief as she started forward closer to the stream. "You're okay!"
Cloudthunder was genuinely surprised - Morningpaw knew this loner? Morningpaw, the young cat who jumped at shadows? Cloudthunder decided for the time being to be amicable, chosing to sit down. She tilted her head at the newcomer. “Who is this, Morningpaw?"
The cat calmly strolled out of their hiding spot, shaking themselves free of the stray twigs in their fur. Cloudthunder couldn't help but admire the golden tabby patches that dappled their coat and tail like autumn leaves. This one definitely took care of their coat.
"Hello again, Morningpaw," the cat meowed. They took their green eyes to Cloudthunder, and bowed their head. "And hello, warrior. My name is Tree." They sat down across the stream and wrapped their tail around their paws. "Happy to be acquainted."
Cloudthunder bowed back politely. "Cloudthunder. Likewise. Pardon me for asking, but I can't tell - do you have prefered honorifics?"
"Oh, good to know the lemonweed still works." Tree beamed and their eyes twinkled with joy. "I have been having a spot of trouble finding it this season. They and them pronouns are just fine."
Cloudthunder was impressed. Her ears twitched. Usually loners and rogues had basic knowledge of medicinal herbs, but more complex remedies and chemical changes were only known by Clan cats. This one must've had a good teacher. "Do you mind if I ask how you know Morningpaw?"
"O-Oh, it's nothing bad, honest!" Morningpaw sputtered out first. "I, um, I was out hunting with Iciclepool and Talonpaw. I was separated for a little bit chasing after a squirrel, and I ran into Tree. They let me keep the squirrel!"
"Well, that, and allegedly I should not be anywhere near these woods," Tree said with a smile.
"Well, sure, if you're just passing through," Cloudthunder meowed, her tail twitching. "There's...unsavory things out here."
"Oh, I'm aware. I'm unfortunately acquainted with them," Tree said as they liked their paw absentmindedly.
Cloudthunder's eyes went wide. "You are?"
"B-But you see, Tree says that they come from a place where there aren't any trees, but really huge fields!" Morningpaw interjected again. Suddenly, Cloudthunder noticed a spark of something in the apprentice's eyes. She couldn't decipher what it was. "Far away from here. Right?" Morningpaw turned to look at Tree for approval.
Tree stopped grooming themselves for a brief moment, looking at Morningpaw with an unreadable expression. Tree blinked slowly. "Yes. I have walked many miles and slept in many different places."
"Then..." Morningpaw padded closer, as though she wanted to leap across the river. There was a quiet pleading in her eyes. "Tree, I...I didn't get a chance to ask at the time. But, I thought, um..."
Now both Tree and Cloudthunder were focused on Morningpaw with anticipation.
Morningpaw stammered a few more times, failing to begin her sentence. She forced herself to stop, take a deep breath, then finally said, "I...I thought you might know about...about other territories."
Cloudthunder froze. Dread filled her veins. But she couldn't figure out why.
One part of her was curious, and excited. Yes. She, too, would like to know about territories Tree had seen - especially if they were from so far away.
But it was like a cold, harrowing seed was buried in her and finally sprouted. And she didn't know why.
"I just thought...maybe, if the monsters were maybe...not..."
A wave of understanding passed through Cloudthunder and Tree as they realized what the poor young cat was asking. Cloudthunder found where her dread came from. She stared at the floor as she remembered hearing about the very last patrols sent out by Lakestar to search for new territory. She remembered being just a kit, stumbling out of the nursery at night after waking up cold, and seeing her mother sitting on the camp gates, staring out into the woods. She remembered seeing her father climb up to her and beckon her to return to the den. She remembered hearing her mother cry in her sleep - "Mama, come back, come back," - but Cloudthunder never had the courage to shake her awake.
Tree must've felt Cloudthunder's sorrow, as they started purring quietly. "While I cannot tell you whether or not they're more plentiful here or elsewhere, I can confirm that I've seen them outside of these woods." Tree's ear flicked. "I find that whatever they are...they are attracted to Twoleg activity. And Twolegs span across vast territories, just like cats do."
Morningpaw's expression faltered, and the glint of hope that rested within her eyes were dashed. She looked devastated.
Cloudthunder instinctively placed her tail on Morningpaw's shoulder. While Cloudthunder couldn't muster the idea of leaving the territory, deep down, she understood Morningpaw's vision. She was always the quietest and most nervous cat in the clan. She abhorred violence and had frequent nightmares as a kit about Deep Root entities. If anyone wished to escape the Woodcrawlers - she couldn't blame a child for dreaming of a world without danger.
For a brief moment, she wondered if maybe she should take Morningpaw across the border during one of their excursions...maybe they could find Ferncreek, maybe he could offer Morningpaw the life of a kittypet...?
"But, I will offer you some hope," Tree added. "Namely...they are not invincible."
Morningpaw looked up from her paws, her eyes were watering. "...They aren't?" Morningpaw's voice was strained and small.
"Of course they aren't." Tree let out a small smile and blinked slowly at the apprentice. "They're just animals. Some animals are dangerous, like foxes...badgers...dogs, what have you. But animals still bleed, and make decisions. A dog can be chased off with enough intimidation and claws. The giant spiders are much the same."
"Giant spiders?" Morningpaw echoed, looking bewildered.
"Woodcrawlers," Cloudthunder reassured her. She understood what Tree meant; cats outside the clans had different names for the monsters. "They have very long legs, so some cats say they're spider-like."
"Ah, true, you would have a different word for it. What do you call the black effigies?" Tree asked.
"Black effigies...oh, do you mean the Nature's Mockery? The sort of...triangular plants?"
"Yes, those. And the floating lights?"
"Close, for us. Luring lights."
"Well, they are near their dens often, I suppose that makes sense."
"You've seen Fake Beings too, then?"
Tree's expression fell. "...Once. I thought I imagined it. A Zombified Twoleg."
"Unfortunately not." Cloudthunder's copper eyes filled with sympathy. "Ever heard a cat calling for help in an unusual manner?"
Tree gave Cloudthunder a horrified look, their ears slowly folding back. "...No."
"I...suppose a loner might avoid trouble where possible," Cloudthunder admitted. "Fake Cats exist too. They don't last very long, thankfully. The Twolegs seem to have the worst outcome. Cats are affected for about a week or two." Cloudthunder stood up from her spot. "I'm...surprised that you know this much about Deep Root entities, all things considered."
Tree paused for a while, processing this information. They took a deep breath before bringing their ears back to the side of their head. They gave their head a shake, as though forcibly flattening their fur."One meets strange things during their travels. A...Fake Cat is not one of them, but that may be a blessing." Tree followed Cloudthunder's lead. "Thankfully, I've learned the spiders - Woodcrawlers, I supposed you call them - don't do well without a hide to retreat to. They're ambush predators. Any bold enough to chase, tend to flee if you can tear out the tendons of one of their legs. I wouldn't recommend it for the same reason I don't recommend fighting a fox. But it does know how to flee, with enough persuasion."
Cloudthunder's pupils dilated at the idea of raking her claws across one of the bastards and watching it squirm. She knew that would be great hubris, but still - she could keep it in her reverie. With how much information Tree had about Woodcrawlers... "Redstar's gonna want to hear this," she mused out loud.
"Who?" Tree asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Redstar," Morningpaw mumbled. "She's our leader."
"Hey, Tree, I know this is a very bold request to make, from one stranger to another. But..." Cloudthunder offered a gentle purr. "Would you like to join ForestClan?"
Tree seemed caught off guard by this. "A cat colony, being welcoming to outsiders? That's a first. Morningpaw made it seem like I'd be chased off," they meowed, failing to suppress the amusement in their tone.
"ForestClan is...different," Cloudthunder admitted with a shrug. "Our methods would be considered advanced for some."
"More advanced than a cat using lemonweed to hide their chemical scent?" Tree asked with a twitch of the whiskers, their green eyes filled with amusement.
Morningpaw had remained quiet for much of their exchange, still chagrined. But upon hearing this comment, she said nonchalantly, "We can start fires."
"...You can what now?"
"Don't get the wrong idea - we don't really start them easily, per se, more like maintain the cinders," Cloudthunder laughed. "But yes - we do know how to start them, if necessary. It's hard, but it preserves food quite well."
"And we have dry bedding. And defenses. You wouldn't have to be alone," Morningpaw added quietly. Despite her mood, she sounded hopeful at the idea that Tree would stay. Tree seemed unsure about the prospect, but after looking between Cloudthunder and Morningpaw for a while, they sighed and began crossing over the stepping stones laid out on the stream.
"Oh, I may as well see, at least. A story to tell other travellers, if nothing else." Despite Tree's noncommittal statement, the way their golden tail flicked with interest as they padded in between the two cats told them otherwise. "Well, shall we?"
Cloudthunder suppressed a mrrow of amusement.
Something told her she was going to like them.
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sapphicautistic · 6 months ago
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my partner's family is 100% how i'm going to get covid
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byfulcrums · 1 year ago
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i love being that one friend with a very chaotic personality that gives horrible advice on purpose (then gives some actually good advice) and offers to murder people for you but i also. would like to be taken more seriously. in a "please stop using me as just comedy i am a real person and don't find the jokes you make at my expense (is that the word?) funny" way
#this hasn't been happening as often. bc we're on vacation and i don't see people as ofyen#i like to stay home. i love my home. and i love the loudness of my family but not the loudness of the rest of the world yk??#but uh#today my friend came to my house#and she has this joke#it's basically about how my siblings are “basically blessed by aphrodite” while i'm. ugly. compared to them#and just ugly in general#she doesn't say ugly but she does imply it. how does she do it?? by pointing out every fucking flaw my face has#“haha your head is egg shaped”#“lol you have a big forehead”#“you look like you have one big eyebrow!”#“your eye bags make you look like a raccoon”#<- this one hit me. harder than others bc like. that's smth ik and it's smth i'm trying to work on#i'm like this because i don't sleep much and because i spend too much time with my phone#i'm like this because i eat too much when i'm not even hungry and i refuse to exercise#and i'm trying to WORK ON IT.#and she just. laughs. at the consequences of all the stuff that's been actually harming me#and i KNOW that i should talk to her about this but HOW#how tf do i do that#it's not a “i don't want to lose her” thing it's more of a “i don't want any more conflict”#my 2022 and my 2023 have been so full of fights and just. pure negativity#and it was all bc of my friends. bc they're toxic and too stupid to see that they're wrong sometimes#and everytime i talked to one of them they would tell me more about the drama between them and some of my other friends and i HATED it sm#i'm flooding the tags w this cause it's. idk i wouldn't want it to be the first thing ppl see if they find this post#also i need to go to sleep it's almost 4am#avis talks#vent
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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hey guess who is actually and without exaggeration crying over ultrakill
#peridots-nonsense#ultrakill#ok so. i'm emotional right now. this has been stated. what also has been stated is the fact that this is my 2nd playthrough on a new device#first time i finished it was in november and while altars of apostasy does make me pretty sad that's about the limit to ultkill emotions.#it's really funny actually because i was so excited for heresy. i took longer to beat act 2 than i did the first time around cause i wanted#to improve on the levels (p-ranks and challenges and secrets. y'know. still haven't done 5-S yet though). so i had more time to anticipate#specifically. Gabe's rematch. i was THRILLED!!! i don't even know why!!!!! but i never stopped smiling the whole time i was fighting him!!!#it got so bad the first time i got to his second phase that i had to actually pause for the better part of a minute from stimming so hard!!#grinning like an idiot for five minutes straight!!! no fight or game has EVER made me feel that way before.#the hk collector is a fun fight for sure and i sometimes get happy going up against characters i like from any games. however#it fades as i get into the fight. it's never been nearly that grand. i was singing a lot too but sleeping family made it more of a whisper#i ended up spending 24 minutes on it with 58 restarts. and yet i was ECSTATIC the whole time. i can see what it felt like to him now lol#so. instantly on the verge of tears when i beat him. and when i got past the ending cutscene i broke. i love this game so so much...#idk. sure this could've been a text to my friends or something but i do not care you all will hear of this#cause this is the best thing ever actually. brb going to go tear up again though
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thethingything · 10 months ago
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had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time#and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed#and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't#and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do#and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued#so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out#also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick#the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit#and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it#dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed#I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once#like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress#and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious#I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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okay so I got up.. less than 5 hours ago (yes it was another slept-all-day day)
annnd all I wanna do is go back to bed 🙃
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tardis--dreams · 2 years ago
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God i could have such a chill evening if it wasn't for that doctor's appointment tomorrow morning looming over me
#this wouldn't be so stressful if i didn't have to take a train to get there#the ride is only 4 minutes but i have to walk to the dr's office for 1.8 km which is about 24 minutes#but i haven't really been to this town before and don't know the way so i have to use maps to get there#and the appointment is at 8:30am and the train i would Like to take is scheduled for 7:54 am which would be fine#if the fucking bahn worked and was punctual for once but there's no punctual trains in this godforsaken country#so my anxiety tells me that this train will arrive 8:15 am at the earliest instead of at 7:58am#so i would be late and i can't be late i would just kill myself#but if i want to play it safe i have to take the train 30 minutes earlier which would mean I'd have one hour#to walk there and I'm Really not in the mood of just spending 30 minutes waiting outside like a weirdo because i have too much time left#so my options are either take the risk and be relatively punctual rather than having 35 minutes left to spare#or just waste an hour of my life because I'm too afraid to potentially be late#also the fact i have to wait for a train back home again and cannot plan this at all because idk how long I'll be in the office#is so annoying#and also I've never been to this doctor and i don't know how the whole thing will go and how the rooms and everything look like#and it's stressing me out#also that i have to plan at least 2 hours for an appointment that probably won't take longer than 5 minutes#because of the fucking trains#anyway#i should go to sleep now#40 hours without sleep and not more than 4 hours on average the days before have left me broken lmao#i gotta practice my lines though. i cannot go in without a rehearsed script. gotta be careful around doctors and choose your words wisely#otherwise they won't take you seriously or think you're overdramatic and dismiss any concern as 'anxiety'#yeah no i don't trust them- i hate relying on them- let me be free ahhh#void screams
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cosmiicfairy · 12 days ago
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.
#i have taken to sad posting on twitter and then burying it with retweets just like i do on tumblr lmao#except irl friends follow me on twitter and i already scared one of them last night#i can be depressed but not Too Depressed:tm: lmao#They asked me if I was okay and i got a little silly goofy and told them lol just contemplating suicide 🤪 and followed it up with like#“for legal reasons this is a joke” and then after 10 minutes without a response i deleted the messages and they ended up calling me cause i#must have worried them#but no one who knows me irl is really all that active on tumblr anymore anyway#so at least here I can post about how much i just want to fucking kill myself lmao#I've relapsed and while it's only been 4 cuts (3 like two weeks ago and one tonight) it's more than I've done in a long time#i forgot how much it hurts and numb it leaves me#i kinda miss it ngl lol#i went from cutting to spending money so who knows maybe this'll keep me from blowing all my fucking money#but i doubt it#i don't even know what this is I'm just yapping while curled up in bed at 6pm because i have nothing better to do than sleep#i keep opening tiktok and twitter and discord expecting something and there's just nothing lol#i keep opening my texts and thinking about telling my mom what's going on but she has enough on her plate and there's nothing that's going#to fix this anyway#you can't fix what's fundamentally broken. hospitalization won't help. talking about it won't help. there is no help for me.
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cryptic-rainfall · 3 months ago
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I need AT LEAST an extra week off of work
#I have been loafing around all day I don't think I will make it to my group thing tonight my sleep schedule is fucked#I need to clean stuff around my house I need to do fun and relaxing things#I need to do arts and crafts and play video games#I have so much work to catch up on over break and none of these things are happening because I am tired I am tired I am so tired#going to work next week is actually going to be less work than taking time off#I am spending my first thanksgiving along tomorrow and I kindof want to cancel my xmas plans and make it the first xmas alone too#I kindof really don't want to go anywhere or do anything#but that also feels bad. I have a chance to see loved ones why would I dismiss that#every day I am lucky to complete 1 task and 3 more tasks get added to my list#I'll never catch up with my own life I don't think I'm even living#I don't think I can I don't think it's possible#I need to go to the grocery store bc they will be closed tomorrow and I will have no food other than eggs bread and ra#men and I can't be living off that I need to eat better I am not getting enough calories#but that means I definitely can't make it to group#I wanted to go last week so bad but I got sick I really really needed to go this week#it's not happening I can't make it I can't fix my sleep schedule I can't clean my house and I don't think I can ever actually live#bc this is just catch up this is scrambling to catch the water as it falls through my fingers#and maybe that's life but it sure doesn't feel like living#this is not a vent blog
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sheeezu · 2 months ago
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Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.
I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.
Yes. I've shifted.
I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.
I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.
Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:
I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.
So? Why did I mention this?
Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:
"Shifting needs practice!"
Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.
Though, is the phrase actually true?
No, not at all.
Shifting does not need practice!!
Here's why:
(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)
The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)
Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)
Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.
Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.
I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:
My journey:
I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.
A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.
First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.
Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.
Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.
Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)
I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.
I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.
Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.
A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.
The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.
LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.
And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.
Background to my first shift:
It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.
I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.
The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.
But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:
"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."
Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.
I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.
And with a blank mind I thought.
"I won't have to take any test today."
And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.
The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.
So the test got cancelled.
Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.
I decided to apply this to shifting.
Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)
And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.
My method and what happened next:
First phase of shifting:
When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)
I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:
a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.
b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.
c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)
During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.
And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)
So you can start the next phase.
Middle phase (optional):
To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)
This is all about connection to your DR.
Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:
My name is ___.
I work as a ___.
My age is ___.
Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.
(That's you!)
Phase three:
Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.
a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)
OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)
b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.
AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.
❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.
Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)
Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.
(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)
c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)
Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.
And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.
Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?
So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.
And I remember I thought this:
"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."
(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)
And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)
I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.
I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.
So that's it.
Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.
And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.
Ask away.
I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.
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tiddykittylikesskittles · 1 year ago
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My mom will be taking a nap in the living room with her HEADPHONES ON. and my dad will glare at me if I take a single step into the kitchen.
#drinking cold (hot) chocolate because apparently using the electric kettle is too much noise#it's not even that he was concerned it'd wake her up it's that both him and my mom default to staring me down like i killed someone#even when they're like. mildly annoyed.#it doesn't help that i panic when they do this but that's not exclusively on them#like could they chill out occasionally. could they do that for me#their child#i guess not#my dad didn't even know if it'd wake her up. this isn't me using the kettle knowing it could wake her up#it seems pretty likely to me that it wouldn't but neither of us know for sure#I'm 18 years old I'm pretty sure i can assess that risk for myself thanks#he's ALWAYS LIKE THIS too. you make the SLIGHTEST noise while my mom is napping and you will face the consequences.#even though she could sleep through a tornado#i just. ouuuuugh it feels so patronizing and harsh and unnecessary. it also makes me want to cry#like i get to a point. where I'm like maybe my dad isn't that bad. and then he reminds me he has the temper of a thousand suns#and he does NOT think I'm allowed to be upset about it ever. even when it's stupid#and i feel so upset and angry but mostly i feel scared. i feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop#and any second someone's gonna scream their head off at me or take away my shit etc#and this is like such a tiny thing but i spend all my time around people who i don't like and am beholden to and it really grates on me#so we have things like this that are like. nbd y'know. hell I'd probably apologize if it was anyone else#even if i believed i wasn't gonna wake anyone up#but because it's my dad. and he has spent most of my life alternating between ignoring me or screaming at me.#being protective of my mom. who is demanding and mean and selfish.#i feel like i want to cry and scream and throw something but I can't do any of that.#because it would wake my mom up and we can't fucking have that can we.
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nanaslutt · 6 months ago
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Giving bf Takuma a massage (gone wild)
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ʚ cont: fem reader, dirty talk, first time, prostate massage, fingering, masturbation, switch!reader & switch!takuma
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ ࿔
"You're the love of my life you know that right?" Takuma spoke muffled as he lay on his bed on his stomach, shirtless and waiting. You couldn't help but smile at him, it was just a massage, but Ino couldn't help but praise you for even the smallest things you did. "I love you too baby." You smiled down at him, swinging your leg over his body as you sat down on the back of his thighs, running a single finger from the top of his spine to the dimple in the middle of his back.
You watched his back arch under the small movement, goosebumps rising on his skin. "I'm gonna fall asleep in two seconds if you keep touching me like that, then I won't even be able to enjoy it." You shook your head as you leaned over him and grabbed the massage oil from the nightstand, popping the cap off as you spoke, "That's the point of a massage, Takuma." You turned the bottle upside down and hovered it over his back, speaking again before he could respond, "Might be a little cold."
You squeezed the bottle, watching the clear liquid drip onto his toned back. A hiss fell from between his teeth as he tensed his body before relaxing. "Cold." He said, his fingers uncurling from the fist he balled them in. " Told you, now be quiet." Takuma made a sound of understanding just as you placed your fingers in the oil that pooled on his back, rubbing it in small circles before you added your other hand.
His skin was so hot, that the oil warmed to him immediately. You wet both your hands in the oil and started rubbing it over the expanse of his back with gentle pressure, a soft sigh slipping between Ino's lips as you caressed his body. "Love yer hands," He slurred, his cheek squished against the pillow as he lay with his head facing the side.
"I barely even started." You said just as you dragged your hands to the top of his back and pressed down under his shoulder blades, working out the muscles there first. "I know, love when you touch me." He responded, shifting a bit when you started the massage, making the towel you were sitting on that covered his butt and lower thighs pull down a bit.
The towel was Ino's idea, of course, the man insisting he strip down to nothing to be as authentic as possible, always with the dramatics. Ino groaned shamelessly when you put some of your weight on your knees and kneaded your hands into his back with your body weight. "Too much?" You asked, not letting up the pressure until he told you otherwise. "No, don't stop. Feels good." He almost slurred, his eyes shut in bliss. His body was relaxing more and more by the second.
You smiled a bit at that, he was always so vocal with his thoughts. He would make a horrible prisoner, you thought, spilling all the secrets he knew without thinking twice. You caressed his sides, sliding your hands down until you reached his waist before you pressed them against his lower back, making small circles where the hem of his boxers usually sat. Ino's back arched when you pressed there, a sharp intake of breath heard through his nose.
You knew there was nothing inherently sexual about this, but your boyfriend was making the same noises he usually made in bed and his body was bending and responding to your touch alone, it was hard to not let your thoughts wander. "Feel good right here?" You asked, adding more pressure to the bottom of his spine. Ino just nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together in pure bliss. His body was so slack under you.
You massaged his body until he was mush under your fingers, spending extra time on his shoulders because the pleasured noises were too good to miss. You had one trick up your sleeve you knew was gonna put him to sleep fully. Curling your fingers, you started at the top of his shoulders before slowly caressing his skin with your nails, gently, barely even touching him. The response was immediate, Ino's whole body shook when he realized what you were doing, making the towel you were sitting on move a bit, exposing a few inches of his smooth booty.
It would be so easy to take a bite right now. Tempting as it was, it would ruin all your work on making him so relaxed and pliant, so you averted your eyes, but made no move to pull up the towel. The eye candy was welcomed. "Spiderssss," Ino sighed when you started gently tickling your nails down his back, the goosebumps making an appearance again. "Knew you would love this." You giggled, watching the corner of his mouth curl into a satisfied smile.
You scratched your nails gently down the expanse of his back, over his sides, up back, and over his shoulders before descending lower down his back. At this point, he was so unresponsive you were sure he had fallen asleep. You continued drawing shapes and patterns on his back with your dull nails as you let your eyes fall back down to his ass, the little bit that wasn't covered by the towel.
Sliding your hands down, you pulled the towel back on the other side, the top of his ass exposed, and still, there was no response from Takuma. A smile forced its way onto your face as you started tickling your nails on his ass, the same as you did with his back. "Why does that feel so good?" Ino slurred, making you laugh at how sleepy he sounded. You were sure he was asleep, but you were glad he had no intentions of putting an end to your fun.
With his pleased response, you pulled the towel down completely, resting it where your thighs met the bottom of his ass. "My butt is cold now," Ino complained. "Not for long." You responded, picking up the oil and dripping some onto his skin, watching it slide down the outside of his ass. Ino tensed, the sight making you stifle your laugh. "You're cruel for not giving me a warning," Ino said, a little more coherently now that the shock of the cold oil had startled him.
"You're fiiine, just wait till I get my hands on your ass." You teased, rubbing your hands together and smirking at him as he cracked his eye open and peered down at you. "You sound so mischievous when you talk about my ass, baby." He closed his eyes and smiled just as you placed your hands on him, massaging the surprisingly plump backside of him. How he grew an ass like this you had no idea, but you were endlessly envious.
You massaged him in circles, working out the nonexistent knots, enjoying yourself with this most unnecessary massage. It was hard to not focus on what was between his ass each time you massaged your hands outwards, but you forced yourself to watch the muscles in his back ripple instead. You dragged your hands back up his body, his skin endlessly hot under your fingertips. "Shit," Ino breathed when you dug the heels of your hands into his back as you slid them up and down.
You were more confident bringing your hands back down to his ass now that you've crossed that line. Not that it was a line you were worried about crossing in the first place. Ino made it abundantly clear that his body belonged to you. You wondered if that sentiment extended to the little hole between his legs you always wanted to say hello to.
You slid your hands over his ass and rubbed your thumbs into the dimples of his lower back, bending your body over him as he arched and groaned at the contact. He nuzzled you with the side of his head as you placed a tender kiss against his oily skin, another on his neck, and finished with his cheek before you pulled back and continued pressing into his skin. "Love you so fucking much." Takuma groaned, making your heart swell in your chest.
"Love you too," You responded, placing your hands back on his butt. Scooting down his thighs you leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of his ass, making him laugh quietly. "Love this peach, too." You smiled, sliding back up his thighs. "Yeah?" He teased, wiggling his ass up at you. If only he knew how much he was really tempting you right now, he would clench his cheeks and run for the hills. "Mhm," You responded, bringing your thumbs closer to the inside of his ass purposefully before you massaged him in circles.
Ino went quiet again, his breathing steady, the occasional breath or light, barely there groan falling from between his lips. You spread him open just a bit more than before, exposing his hole. "Feels dangerous when you do that," Ino said, his words soft. You were glad your center was hovering between his legs, or he would feel just how much you were twitching for him. "What? This?" You teased, spreading him open more boldly now that he pointed it out.
Ino shifted his body under you, his ass tensing a bit before he relaxed. "Yeah, I know you're getting an eyeful right now." He smiled, his eyes still shut. "It's not the worst view in the world." You shrugged, bringing your thumbs dangerously close to his hole as you spread him open. Ino hissed at that, his ass clenching under your hands. "Baby…" He whispered, almost shyly.
You had to close your eyes and take a deep breath before you responded, already knowing the direction you wnated to take this. "Hm? What is it, tamuka?" You teased, feigning innocence as you slid one of your hands up his back, the thumb of your other hand finally making contact with his hole. You barely applied any pressure, but you still felt how he tightened at the contact. You swallowed hard, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth as you felt his breathing increase, your hand moving up and down faster against his back.
"Feels weird, babe." He responded. You slowly rubbed your thumb in circles against his hole, your other hand massaging his mid-back, trying to distract him a bit. "Do you want me to stop?" You asked, silently praying to every god that would listen that he wouldn't ask you to stop. Takuma was silent for a while, soaking in your touch before he laughed, "Should've known you were up to something when you started touching my ass." You laughed in return, "It's hard to resist."
"Got me all relaxed so you could stick a finger in my butt," You smiled at that, dragging your other hand back down his body and grabbing the oil. "I don't hear you telling me to stop," You countered, pulling his ass cheek to the side as you popped the cap and let some of the oil drizzle on top of your thumb that was pressed against his hole. "I'm nervous, I'll tell you that," Takuma responded. The two of you haven't talked much about anal play on his end, never going farther than jokes about it.
"We can try it out, and if you hate it I'll stop immediately." You assured him, rubbing the new oil against his ass. You listened to him release a shaky breath as he shifted his hips against the bed. Likely in what he thought was a subtle shifting motion, but you knew he was trying to relieve his undoubtedly hard dick that was pressed between his stomach and the bed. The wind blowing too strongly made this man's dick hard.
"Fuck…" Ino breathed, contemplating while you continued to massage his cheek with one hand, circling his rub with the other. You knew he needed a little guidance, so you decided to start things off and he knew to speak up if he didn't want this. "Spread your legs a little wider," You instructed, smiling when he did so immediately. "I feel like a virgin," Ino joked, the side of his face that was visible to you practically glowing with how red he was.
"I mean, you are when it comes to this spot," You responded, pushing harder on the puckered hole and meeting resistance. Ino arched his back, his lip twitching in what looked like uncertainly. "Is this how you felt?" He asked. Ino always got talkative when he was nervous, and you would gladly distract him and talk him through it if that's what he needed right now.
"I mean, a little. It wasn't bad when you found my sweet spot." You said, reaching down with your other thumb and forcing his hole to open a bit for you. "S-shit," He cursed when you pressed the tip of your thumb in, "I h-have one of those back here, don't I?" Takuma questioned. "Uh-huh, you men were born for a little booty fingering," You joked, hoping your light-hearted tone would help him through the hardest of this.
He laughed a bit before grinding his hips into the comforter again. "My dick fucking huuurts," He whined, his breath coming out choppy, and panted as you pressed your thumb deeper, feeling how tight he was around you. "Did someone say you couldn't touch yourself orr?" You teased, looking around mockingly. Ino scoffed, his hole relaxing a bit, giving you a good opportunity to fully put your thumb inside him.
"It's kinda h-hard when I move I can really feel your finger in there." You smiled before pulling out fully, laughing when his whole body relaxed with the lack of intrusion. "You're supposed to feel it. Just wait till I find your prostate, you'll really wanna feel that." You knew the general area in which it was supposed to be, you just really wished you would be able to find it or this experience would be a flop.
Ino took the reprieve of your finger in his ass to thrust his hips into the mattress a few times, groans and sighs slipping from his lips as you worked on oiling up your fingers. "You look good like that," You praised, watching him tense again and stop his humping when you placed your middle finger against his hole and pressed in hard, his rim opening up more easily. "Used to fuck my pillow before you came a-around, fuck, remember why I liked it so much," Ino tried to joke while his breaths came heavier.
"Breathe, baby, I can't go deep if you're so tense," You cooed, leaning over him and pressing a kiss to the middle of his back as you thrust your finger inside him. "Shiiiit, shit, shit, fuck I really feel it baby," Takuma babbled, squeezing around your finger. "You okay?" You asked, keeping your finger still as you peppered his skin with more kisses.
"Yeah, fuck," He laughed, "Feels so fucking weird." You smiled, glad he wasn't hating this so far. "Good, just need to find that little spot now…" You thought out loud, circling your finger downwards where you thought it was supposed to be. Takuma let out a loud gasp, his hips thrusting forward on their own. Okay, well. You found it a lot sooner than you thought. Silently giving yourself a fistbumb you sat up so you could watch his face and body respond.
"Was that it?" You asked, making sure he wasn't in pain. "T-think so, shit, what the hell was that? Never felt anything like that." He sighed, his breaths now coming in quick pants. "Your prostate, baby." You said just as you curled it again, thrusting forward a bit as you did. "Oh holy fuuck," Ino groaned, his body tensing as he gripped the sheet in his hand, his knuckles turning white.
You pulled your finger back before pushing it back in, curling at the same time. The moan Ino let out was unrestrained and made you throb between the legs. "Feel good?" Ino just nodded his head as you curled it again, the muscle in his jaw clenching and unclenching as you fingered him. You reached over with your free hand and laced your fingers with his, which he immediately laced back, holding onto you for dear life.
You kissed the back of his hand before sitting up and curling your finger over and over again, not going too fast but setting a good pace. Each time you moved, a moan was forced from his throat, no matter how much he wanted to keep it down. "S-slower please," You listened as soon as he got the words out, noticing his body relax when you thrust and curled a bit slower. "That's fucking intense," Ino sighed, his shoulders heaving with his pants.
"Yeah? What's it feel like?" You asked curiously, pulling your finger almost all the way out before pressing it back in, making him whine. "Feels like your… inside my dick, but also my stomach, like… a fire." His description was so bad it made you laugh out loud. "Hey, you asked." He shrugged. "You think you can cum like this?" You asked, pressing against his prostate and keeping your finger there, rubbing it in circles. Ino gripped your hand tightly, muffled groans getting blocked by his teeth as he was forced to take the pleasure you gave him.
"W-ith out my d-dick?" He forced out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his back arched. "Yeah," You responded, picking up the pace a bit as you began thrusting again. "D-don't know, fuck fuck, m-maybe," You were about to encourage him when you angled your finger down more and pressed harder, keeping the pace but adding more pressure. "Oh fuck!" Ino practically yelled, his body trying to curl in on itself. "Oh fuck, do that again," He begged, shaking your hand, whether he knew he was doing it or not you didn't know.
You obeyed right away, licking your lips as you aimed your finger for that sweet spot deep in his ass and abused it. "Yes- oh- my god- yesyesyes," Ino groaned from between his teeth, you couldn't speak, you were so turned on you couldn't focus on anything but him and his reactions. Ino stated thrusting his hips against the mattress, matching the pace of your fingers while thrusting himself back on your finger at the same time. "Baby, babybaby," He was babbling, his words barely coherent.
"I'm right here Takuma, I got you, do what feels good I got you," You managed to get out through the intense brain fog. His pleasure seemed to go from 0-100 in just a few moments, and you were eating it up. Ino reached behind him with his other hand and gripped your wrist tightly, his other hand unlocking it from your own fingers as he leaned on his side and reached for his cock--his cock that looked so red and so wet it looked painful. It looked like he already came.
"Keep going, close," He grit out, furiously jerking himself off as you quickly adjust to the new angle of him on his side, thrusting your finger in his tightening hole. His abs and leg muscles were spasming and jerking with your every movement. His eyebrows rose up as he nodded his head, his jaw falling open, drool spilling from the side of his lips. "Harder, h-harder, cumming im, Im- fuck!" Takuma barely got his words out before his body was curling in on itself as cum flooded over his fingers, making a mess of his hand and the sheets next to him.
You continued working his ass, forcing out every last drop of cum from his balls. You didn't stop moving your finger until he gripped your wrist will his full strength, mumbling something about it being too much. You slowly pulled out, the movement making him hiss, his body tensing before he went lax like a pile of jello. You wiped your hand on the bed next to you before pushing his shoulder down so he was lying on his back. His eyes were still screwed shut, his hand gripping the base of his dick hard even as it started to soften.
Stradling his hips you held his face in your hands, kissing his brow and eyelids and he fought to catch his breath. "Holy fuck," he cursed, finally releasing his dick and letting his hand fall aside, his eyes opening. His gaze looked unfocused as he stared up at you like you hung the stars in the sky. "Holy fuck is right, that was so hot," You smiled, caressing his cheek as he leaned into it like a cat. "Uh, huh, thought I was gonna die with how hard I came," He teased, though it did look like a big one.
"You gonna let me finger ur ass now?" Ino wiggled his eyebrows at you, his teasing demeanor coming back fast. "Hell no, nice try though. If I ever grow a prostate, I'll let you know." Ino pouted dramatically, sitting up to bury his head in the crook of your neck. "Fine… but give me a couple of minutes to recover and I'll eat your pussy real good," His casual dirty words made you clench around nothing as you nodded, cradling his head against you. "Sounds good to me."
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