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endo-bunny · 11 months ago

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Sit Down Now and Rest

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Description: You had anxiety and depression, and Tony and Bruce were more than happy with getting you anxiety meds the moment that you asked. When you stop taking your meds, your mental health plummets and spirals as well as your physical health, and everyone notices. Don't worry though, they're there for you.

Pairing: (Platonic) Avengers x Teen!Reader

Type: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Depression, anxiety, sickness, fainting, dizziness, taking meds(both medicated and just vitamins/iron supplements), dehydration, insomnia, depressive and hurtful thoughts, reader doesn't talk very much in this, nicknames(Kiddo, Kid, Hun)

Word Count: 1,627

Note: I may or may not have written this with too much of myself being present… But it's fine! I also wrote this at like 2 in the morning so it's kinda rough but I just needed to get this typed out so here ya go! Also, the characters might be kinda ooc because I haven't watched any marvel movies in a little while but I've been hyper focused on fics with them lately so yea. And I am working on my tlou and tech fics, it's just hard to find the motivation to write them, but don't worry, I'm working on em.

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You were quick to notice that you stopped taking your meds. You knew that they helped you, but you couldn't get yourself to start the habit of taking them again. You wanted to, most definitely, but you couldn't. Every day was the same. Wake up, look at your meds, contemplate taking them, saying you'll take them later, go train, eat, and then not take them.

You also stopped taking them at night too. You had even set alarms so that you'd remember to take them, but it didn't help at all. Natasha was the first to notice that something was up, being the closest one with you. When she realized that something wasn't quite right, she made sure to keep a close eye on you. She was quick to pick up how dizzy you looked when you'd get up, sometimes not even being able to stay standing before you crumbled back onto the couch. You'd always play it off as if you just lost your footing but she and everyone else knew that that wasn't the case.

One morning you had gotten up much later than you had recently been getting up. When you checked the time, it was around two in the afternoon. You got up and went to the kitchen, feeling extremely hungry after forgetting, and also just not wanting dinner the night prior. When you arrived in the kitchen, Tony was there. He had kind of taken up the father role in your life.

The moment he saw that you had finally arose, he was quick to make a snarky comment in good fun, “Ah! The beast has finally awoken from their slumber, now off they go to find their beauty.”

You only roll your eyes, ignoring him. You felt exhausted, even though you got close to ten hours of sleep seeing as you fell asleep around 4 in the morning. You couldn't find anything easy to fix or that looked appetizing in the fridge or pantry so you just opted for a bottle of water that you would only take a sip or two of then leave with your other five almost full water bottles on your nightstand.

Before you could go back to the confines of your room, Tony had to ask you a question, “ Hey kiddo, did you take your meds?”

The question caught you off guard, not expecting him to ask seeing as he hasn't asked in a real long time.

“Oh yea! I, um, took them earlier but fell back asleep. Yea, that's what I did!”

You try to make it seem like you weren't lying through your teeth, but weren't very successful because of how exhausted you were. However, before Tony could confront you, you book it to your room. You hide there for the rest of the day, not coming out for Dinner. Steve had come by to tell you that dinner was ready but you told him that you weren't very hungry as you just kept your

on the book that you had your nose in. You kept your light on all night, not feeling tired.

The next morning, Nat knocked on your door around eight, coming to get you so that you could train with her. When she opened your door, she saw you laying on your back staring up at the ceiling. You looked exhausted and had dark circles under your eyes. When Bat opened the door, you flung up in surprise. You hadn't heard her knocking so you weren't expecting for the door to randomly open. You couldn't tell who it was at first because your vision went fuzzy black as your body tried to accommodate the sudden movement that you caused. Nat waited for you to acknowledge her.

When you did after a couple seconds, you looked over at the time, confused. It had just been two the last time you looked at the clock. How could it be eight all of the sudden? You were brought out of your thoughts by Natasha trying to talk to you. You zoned back in, giving her a questioning look.

“I said, are you ok? You look exhausted Hun. I came by to get ya to come train but it looks like you need to rest for a couple days.”

“Oh! No, I'm fine. Just give me a couple minutes to get ready and I'll be down and we can get to work in no time!”

She gave you a skeptical look but nodded, closing your door behind her.

When you got down to the training room, Bucky and Steve were there with Natasha. They smiled upon seeing you walk in. However, Bucky and Steve's bright smiles dropped upon looking at your figure. You were slouched, tired eyes not fully open and your eye bags were extremely dark.

Bucky was the first to point it out, “Hey Kid, you ok? You aren't looking too good.”

You only shrugged, your body aching and your throat feeling scratchy and sore for some reason.

As you're sparring with Natasha, you continuously have to stop the match because you go into coughing fits. As finish with your last coughing fit you go back to Natasha, but she's packing her stuff up.

“Wait, where are you going?” You're voice comes rather harsh and rude as you ask the red head.

“I think you should rest for the rest of the day Hun. I'll come check on you in a little while. But go take your meds and also some cough syrup and eat something.”

You didn't say anything as you grabbed your stuff and walked back to your room. This was stupid. It was just a little cold. You can still fight. You need to train. Deep down though you knew you needed to listen to her and do as she said. In the end, you don't. You go back to your room, take a sip or two of water, get a small snack and then sit down in the living room with a book.

You try to read it, but you can't stay focused for long enough to. Your mind is spiraling and racing. You kept replaying how training went. You were so pathetic. And rude. How could you be so rude? Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You slam the book down onto the sofa, huffing.

You hadn't noticed that some of the others had joined you in the living room. They look up at you, surprised. They weren't used to seeing you like this. You tried to get up quickly, wanting to get away from this embarrassing situation.

The moment you get up, the world goes black, buzzing and ringing is the only thing you can hear as you collapse. You feel something picking you up and setting you down on the couch. You blink your eyes a couple times, slowly feeling sensation being restored in your body. You look around you and see that Bruce is coming over with a damp cloth and water. Nat has your head resting in her lap and Tony has your hand in his. They all look worried as they stare down at you. You hear gasped as Steve and Bucky walk in.

Questions are being thrown at you, too fast for you to comprehend. You instinctively put your hands on your ears, feeling overwhelmed. They all quiet down upon seeing this. Tony is the one to ask the questions from then on.

“Hey, it's ok. We're sorry, didn't mean to overwhelm ya like that. Can ya sit up?”

You nodded, feeling embarrassed now. Tony nodded and Nat helped you sit up, allowing you to lean against her.

“Ok, drink some water, you're ok,” Tony hands you the water that Bruce had brought over as Bruce is wiping your face with the cold damp cloth.

“Ya feeling better?”

“Ya, I'm fine.”

“Have you been taking your meds, kid?”Tony doesn't hold back, knowing what it looks like when you don't take the meds that have been helping you produce what your body needs.

You sheepishly look down at your hands that are fidgeting in your lap. You inhale sharply before shaking your head no.

They all sigh, Natasha being the one to talk this time, “Why haven't you been taking your meds, Hun?”

“I-I just don't want to… I don't like the feeling.”

They looked at each other, wondering what to say. As they look at each other, you go to stand up, but they make sure that you don't get up.

“Sit down now and rest,” Bucky's voice comes from behind you, his hands still on your shoulders.

“I'm sorry…” Your voice comes out in a whisper.

“You're forgiven kiddo, but ya gotta start taking your meds again.” Steve comes over and sits on the other side of you as he speaks.

“I know.”

“How bout I take my medication with ya? God knows that I haven't been taking it as much as I should be,” Tony chuckles as he tries to negotiate with you.

You didn't know if it would actually help you but you were open to the idea.

“Good, drink some more water. Now what do you want to watch? Hm? TV's all yours,” Tony stood up, giving you the TV remote as everyone decided to sit down on the couch.

You picked your comfort movie as you snuggled up with Steve and Nat. Tony had gotten you some actual food, and by the time the movie was over, you had drank all the water, ate all the food, fell asleep, and almost everyone else had fallen asleep as well. You felt safe with the people that cared about you all around you. You knew that this would be a journey, but you also knew that you weren't alone.

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Tag list: @fakegingerrights @macchiato-dreaming22 @silnebula

#the avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #avengers x platonic reader #natasha romanoff #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #bruce banner #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #avengers angst #avengers fluff

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eeriepromis · 2 months ago

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Caleb Drama & Hypocrisy

[I originally posted this on the official subreddit but I'm not sure if it will get approved by the mods there. The servers are currently down too. - UPDATE: It did not. Flagged as hostile and uncivil instead which it is NOT.]

I want to have a civil, constructive conversation about something that’s been bothering me and many others in the community: There’s been a lot of hate directed at Caleb & Caleb girlies (even before his official release) and it’s only getting worse now that his limited Myth is coming out. This isn’t about “not liking a character.” Everyone is entitled to that. This is about the ongoing hostility, mod bias (not reddit, if you know you know), and the double standards we’re seeing everywhere.

People are saying Caleb “stole” Sylus' wings theme or question why he already has a kiss in his myth. That’s … not how any of this works. The writers and artists literally work on all the characters. There is no such thing as one character “stealing” a theme from another. That’s like arguing over who’s allowed to wear capes in a fantasy setting.

Saying his myth kiss happened “so early” compared to the other LI's ignores the fact that Caleb and MC have a long-established relationship, unlike others who were strangers. (except Zayne who also had a kiss) Of course their development may look different. I'm not even able to enjoy that kiss since it's full of pain and despair - right before both of them literally seem to explode.

Caleb fans had to wait over a year, watching everyone else get content, CGs, story chapters, and celebrations - and yet we’re the ones being called entitled?

The hypocrisy is wild. People say “you have to watch Sylus’ Myth to understand him” (his actions) - And I agree! Sylus has a complex story. He made MC shoot him in the chest, brought her to an EVER scientist because he couldn’t resonate with her, wanted him to experiment on her which could have mutilated her Evol, and still - we are told to give him grace because his Myth explains it. And it does! He’s layered and ultimately loves MC deeply.

But you know what?

So is Caleb.

Caleb isn’t some manipulative monster. [here and here's why] He’s a character who went through trauma, experimentation, isolation, (in his CURRENT life) and still chose to sacrifice himself to survive and protect MC [db4sylus explained it here] - and even fights against a command to kill MC in the new Myth. His Myth and main story arcs are full of nuance - but most people stopped watching at his Main Story and judge him from there. How is that fair? (remember that without context it would be so easy to accuse Rafayel as a seriel k*iller, Xavier as a cheater, Zayne as rude and Sylus as a cruel kidnapper)

The same thing happens with Xavier, who gets called “boring” or “plain” - when in reality, he's anything but boring or plain - and ready to make morally gray decisions and be ruthless. [Has the Light Vanished?] (also let's not forget his *intense* freakiness. It's always the quiet ones guys)

Or Zayne, who’s called robotic, vanilla and cold, even though his Myth is (also) one of the most heartbreaking love stories in the game and used to be happy and warm - but something broke and cursed him. [Snowfall Embrace] - [Fractal Library Analysis] (whispers brat tamer)

Or Rafayel, constantly reduced to “bratty” or “dramatic,” when outside of MC he’s deeply guarded, serious, and vengeful. He’s only vulnerable with her. [Rafayel suffered a lot.] (so poetic, so incredibly deep, thoughtful and introspective.)

Sylus also is misinterpreted all the time even by his own fans as some ultra toxic red flag (I've seen some disturbing fanfics) Because there are those people who actually are into psychos and that kinda fantasies. [kiti_kiwi explained him beautifully] He is actually such a hopeless romantic and softie for MC - so very open for all her whims. (cough brat enabler cough)

Having those fantasies is alright, don't want to shame you (I don't really care tbh) - but some truly think those are canon to the characters; and that's where the issues lie.

If you’re going to hold one LI to a standard of deeper context, that should apply to all of them.

Every single love interest in this game has a duality. That’s literally the point.

They are written to be flawed, complicated, and deeply in love with MC. They would never truly harm her. Everything they do - no matter how misguided (and there are truly worse fictional characters in other media) - is to protect her. That’s what they live for. (true giga simps my babies are *nods*)

So why is this fandom so divided and hostile all the time?

I love all the LIs. I started playing this game for the lore and story, not the romance. (it is my first otome and I am demi so there's that) But what I’m seeing right now (people refusing to engage with canon content, inventing toxic headcanons, and spreading hate from surface-level takes) isn’t criticism. It’s misinformation and targeted bullying that are also misleading new players.

You don’t have to like Caleb. You don’t have to main him. But please stop punishing the people who do. We waited over a year for him. And we deserve to enjoy him in peace. If you don't like others spreading misconceptions about your LI - then don't do it yourself to other LI's.

I also think some people in this fandom seriously underestimate how much Caleb girlies are actually going through - and how much hate, judgment, and bias we face daily across multiple platforms. Not just mild disagreements - I'm talking about accusations that are deeply personal and honestly crossing the line.

We’ve been called in*est apologists.

We’ve been told we love “red flags” and psychos (it's okay if you DO, but not if you are accused of it because of misconceptions)

and there must be something seriously wrong with us.

We’ve been mocked, ridiculed, tone-policed, and banned in places where every other LI Main has been allowed to thrive. It’s not just tiring - it’s isolating. (To be clear: I'm not talking about this subreddit!)

And yet - despite all of that? The Caleb channel in the Discord became a safe haven. More like a lads-general that accepts and understands Caleb but is also so very open to gush over every LI with open arms and every girlie. I’ve met Caleb fans (even Mains of other LI) who love him for wildly different reasons. Some are drawn to his protectiveness. A lot of us are the eldest daughters, so they like to be the ones to be cared for for once (to be free of all the responsibilities and expectations of others) and Caleb is so very good at caring. Some adore his teasing and flirty softness. (his VA makes it all sound SO authentic!) Some love his character design and uniform. Some see themselves. (the Millennial vibe, the responsibility, the yearning for freedom) And his cooking is always yearned for!

I'm also one of those who were worried about his portrayal in the new Main Story Arc at his release. That part was suffocating. It was hard to watch and play through. I'm not into yanderes or psychos at all. I didn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t what I wanted for him at all. (I'm also not into his Colonel uniform, sorry my fellow pipsqueaks xD but I know he hates it too.) At least Sylus had the twins as comedic relief *cries internally*

And guess what? That’s okay.

What mattered was that I kept reading. I followed his entire arc - his Myth, his Anecdotes, his Bond Story, his Moments. And what I found was a character who made sense. (just like all the others) Who was still trying, still loving, still fighting against the worst parts of his world and himself - for her.

But that part? The part where we explain why we do see the nuance? The part where we talk about how we don’t excuse the red flags, but understand where they come from?

It gets ignored. Every time.

This isn’t about defending toxic characters. It’s about wanting the same space to enjoy complexity as every other LI community has already been granted. And being tired of having to justify our existence in a fandom that’s supposed to be about love, choice, and story.

So before you assume Caleb fans are “into red flags,” (not denying there are a few, just like some Sylus girlies too tbh) maybe talk to a few of us if you don't understand. Ask why we like him. Listen when tell our reasonings instead of just dismissing them because they don't fit your context-lacking headcanon narrative. Respect that his arc, like every other LI’s, is layered, painful, and intentional.

We aren’t asking to be everyone’s favorite. We’re asking to exist without being attacked for it.

Please, let’s stop the "he-said-she-said" hate cycle. Let people enjoy what they love. That’s what fandom is supposed to be. Love, create and evolve together. (and angst together. totally angst together.)

I don’t care if you don’t like Caleb. That’s valid. Not every LI is for everyone. But the constant policing, mockery, and moral grandstanding aimed at fans who do like him is just exhausting. It’s okay to enjoy a character with flaws. It’s okay to enjoy different kinds of romance stories. That’s literally the point of this genre.

This is a game. A beautiful, story-rich, emotional game. Let people enjoy it. Let us enjoy our LI. And please stop treating us like we’re the enemy for doing so.

Like- I'm genuily confused??? I was there during the US5 & Tokio Hotel beefs, I was there during the Team Edward and Team Jacob wars and also during the Big Time Rush and One Direction phase. None of those fandoms seemed as divided and infighting like this one. Where are these people taking all the energy to hate and the jealousy from and why are they attacking fictional pixels and fans who can't change anything about their issues instead of working together instead?

Sincerely,

A tired but still standing Caleb girly (and lore nerd)

(thanks for reading through my TED talk if you've made it this far)

P.S.: A random thought that I've had while writing - I'm expecting all counterpart LI to have a darker lore and more "obvious" red flags than the OG3. Maybe the 6th will even be a Phoenix. Wings could be a counterpart thing. If you've haven't noticed yet - the overview in the Café where you select your LI: The OG3 are in white clothing, while their counterparts are wearing black so far.)

Lots of love to my fellow pipsqueaks.

This post can now also be found on the Unofficial Subreddit as a slightly shorter version. The admins helped me edit it so it wouldn't spark any controversial discussions or trigger people. I'm really thankful for their help and the time they invested to help me and make sure nasty comments were deleted.

#Love and Deepspace #LaDs #LaDs Caleb #LaDs Xavier #LaDs Zayne #LaDs Rafayel #LaDs Sylus #LaDs MC #character analysis #Eerie's Analyses #l&ds #lads infighting #hypocrisy #lads fandom

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itsnathateasy · 1 month ago

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waking up with these aot characters

word count: 2,2k a/n 1: you won't believe how long i've been postponing this for! i'm mostly focusing my energy on at odds, at heart and some other writing projects and this type of fics (that i honeslty love sm!) have been neglected i do hope you enjoy this one, it was a promising idea! might update and add more characters too! a/n 2: SO yall just did the nasty and either you or them spend the night, but the morning after can be rather… awkward? funny? we’ll see! warnings: sfw buuut kinda suggestive! jean's from the pounding, not from an sti! taglist! @satorella @brave-and-gentle @eleuthreomaniaaa @flrn01

As soon as you woke up, you stretched your legs and arms, taking your time to slowly wake up. You had the leisure of sleeping in today, but also someone occupying the rest of your bed. You didn’t mean to, but you accidentally kicked Eren in your attempt to stretch. Good thing you didn’t do it too harshly, only enough to wake him up too. “Morning sleepy head”, you said as you now playfully kicked him again. He only mumbled at first, refraining from speaking properly. “I’ll go take a shower and order breakfast. Anything particular you’d like?” You questioned, not yet moving away from the position you’d both slept in, as if you were glued together. Eren lazily turned his head towards you and gave you a good hard look. “Who are you and why are you in my bed?” You almost froze, unsure whether you were angry or disappointed. Surely, Eren had the reputation of a player, but you’d been together for what? Almost three months now? Surely, he can’t have forgotten who you are! “Are you being serious?” You asked him, honestly in shock. “Yeah, who are you lady?” You immediately stood up, throwing the covers behind you and turning to face him, your blood boiling. “If anyone should forget who the other is, that’s you! That’s my bed and this is my house, you rude ass… Whatever!” You saw Eren’s green eyes flicker as he burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard, he’d sat up and was holding onto his belly. “What’s that for?” You asked, not knowing how else to proceed with this. “I’m just pulling your leg, y/n! How could I ever forget you? Especially after what you did last night, I could ne-” But you didn’t let him finish. You grabbed one of the pillows and smashed it on his face. “How dare you play tricks on me after our first night together, Eren? You’re evil!” His laughing never ceased, only became louder. “Know what’s evil? That thing you did with your tongue and-” "UGH, shut it, Eren! I’ll go take my shower now!” You said and walked out of the room to laugh in the privacy of the bathroom. You’d never give him any type of credit for such a prank. “Can I come see?” “Hm, I don’t know, Eren. Are you going to be a good boy or are you going to pretend you don’t know me?”

The sweet smell of coffee woke you up. You opened your eyes to a half naked Armin setting a tray on your bedside table as he tried to be as quiet as possible. “Oh, y/n! I’m sorry I woke you up! Coffee’s still hot and I’m making pancakes soon! Any requests?” You smiled to yourself as you stretched your arm to reach him, yet he fleeted. You couldn’t help but not notice how he was avoiding your gaze. It was probably not a big deal. If he didn’t enjoy himself last night, then he’d already be out of here, right? Would he be making you breakfast if he wanted nothing to do with you? Reluctantly, you rose from the bed, opening the windows to let some fresh air in, before heading to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. Once you were done, you walked into the kitchen, only to find Armin flipping a pancake, a perfect, almost golden one, and setting it on a plate to his left. You snaked your arms around his waist, resting your head between his shoulder blades. “They smell really good, Armin.” “Wait till you have one, y/n! What would you want for toppings?” You turned him around so you could face him, giving him a playful grin and a wink. “I liked this topping that I had last night!” You said, tapping on his torso with your finger. Armin turned red within seconds and promptly returned to his cooking. He only responded with a soft ‘yeah, yeah’ and spoke no further. Well. That’s a first. “Did I say something wrong, Armin? Didn’t you enjoy last night?” He pulled the pan from the heat, setting in a few inches away from the stove, an arm rubbing the nape of his neck. As he turned to face you, you noticed he was still red as poppy and a bit nervous. You put your hands on his chest, giving him a reassuring look. “No matter how bad it is, you can tell me, Armin.” He tsk’ed before speaking properly. “It’s just… Last night was seriously amazing, y/n, I’ve no words… But like… It was so nasty, I can’t look you in the eye right now...” As he said that, it was the first time since you woke up that he’d kinda looked at you, but his gaze turned to the floor quickly. “Would a blindfold make things easier for you? I’ve heard many people find it fun in the bedroom!” And now he was looking at you with the widest of eyes. He hesitated at first, but smoothly placed his arms around you. “That means no pancakes?” He gave you a small grin before gently pushing you backwards. “We can always have brunch instead of breakfast, right?”

You heard a soft groan as Jean turned over in bed, waking up slowly, only to find you staring at yourself in his bedroom mirror. You saw him peak his head from the covers, putting up his pillow and just looking at you for a while. “Hope I didn’t leave too many marks down there?” “Nope, that’s not it...”, you said, almost absent-mindedly. Your private parts kept itching all night and by the time you woke up, they were as red as strawberries. “What’s up then?”, he questioned. “My private parts are flushed.” He gave you a crooked smile, obviously proud of his accomplishment. “Are they now.” You glared back at him. “In a bad way, Jean.” You saw the smile disappear from his face as he threw away the blanket and walked over to where you stood in front of the mirror and kneeled to take a look at you. “Well… It didn’t really look like that last night, y/n...” You rolled your eyes at him. “Oh you don’t say!” You were so annoyed with him right now, you could punch him with no regrets whatsoever. “Hey, I know this is important, I just didn’t realise it was this bad. You’re upset, understandable. What can I do? Would some ice help until we can get a hold of a doctor?” He was right, you were upset, but mostly at the situation, not at him. You gave him a small smile and nodded. “I think the ice would help. Thanks, Jean!” He walked out of the bedroom and quickly returned with a clean towel made into ball. You could hear the ices cubes crackling on the inside of the towel. “Let me.” He lead you back to the bed and made you lay down, softly patting your area with the towel. “Do you have your doctor’s phone saved?”, he asked as he reached for your phone on the bedside table. “Of course I do!” You grabbed the phone from him, quickly realising you were still being mean, even though the situation wasn’t his fault. You sighed. “I’m sorry Jean, I don’t mean to lash out on you. But it’s really itchy and… Let’s just say I’m not having a good time...” You opened your contacts and scrolled to find your doctor’s number, calling her immediately to book an appointment. Jean massaged your thigh while you were on the phone, happy to hear you managed to get an appointment for a couple of hours later. As soon as you were done, he passed you the towel with the ice. “I’ll go run you a bath and when you’re ready, I’m driving you to the doctor’s, y/n.”, he said as he exited the room. “You really don’t have to, Jean, it’s fine.” He came back, a set of clean bathroom towels in his hands. “It’s my responsibility. Just let me know when you’re ready. Do you prefer a fruity or a more relaxed scent for your bubble bath, y/n?”

You were woken up by Connie’s hot breath fanning in front of your face. “You smell funny”, he said and laced his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “That’s what everyone smells after doing the shakalaka for I don’t even know how many hours, Connie. And don’t think you smell any better!” You pushed him away playfully, big smiles on both of your faces. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, y/n!” He said as he tried to drag you even closer than earlier. You physically didn’t have the energy to keep pushing him away, even as a game, so you let him hold you, even though you could already feel the sweat forming on your skin. “Are you really that fucked out?” You scoffed, but smiled. “Yes, Connie. You had no reason to wake me up!” He softly grabbed the skin on your thigh before moving his hand up and down, caressing it. “Sorry, I’m just bored. You’ve been out for quite a while.” “And I will be for a while longer, so you might as well do the same.” Hand still on your thigh, he gave you a small slap, earning a squeal from you. “No, you have to wake up so we can grab dinner and then continue where we left off!” He complained, a smug look on his face. You chuckled and turned away from him, proceeding to get out of bed. You wouldn’t be having any more sleep if Connie kept nagging you like that anyway, so you might as well order some food. “We’ve no pending tasks, Connie, there was literally nothing left uhm… Incomplete.” He wiggled his eyebrows as you left the covers fall behind you on the bed. “I know…”, he began and jumped out of bed, following you. “Still, some revising wouldn’t hurt, I believe...” He put his arms around your waist from the back, tracing a few kisses along your neck. You could only lean into his touch, one of your arms reaching to touch his neck, extending to his nape. “Thought you were hungry?” You asked, not receiving a response right away. “I am.” “For food, I mean.” You pulled yourself away. With the way it was between you two, you’d probably starve to death if you didn’t keep your hands off of each other. “Hey!”, he pouted again, trying to reach you. “First we order, and then we might continue. What say you?” He groaned, but nodded in agreement. “Hey, what do you mean by ‘might’, y/n?”.

A loud noise from the kitchen brutally woke you up. It was barely seven a.m., what could possibly be happening? You began to get yourself out of bed, when you noticed Erwin’s side was empty. Whoa, when did it become ‘Erwin's’ side? You took a mental note to think about this later. It was too early to start debating what exactly you and Erwin were. As you walked to the kitchen, though, he was nowhere to be found. Yet the noise persisted. You went for the sink for a glass of water, after being dehydrated from… Well, everything that went down last night. As you approached the kitchen, you saw two long legs stretched out on the floor, the upper part of the body disappeared into the cabinet under the sink. “What on earth are you doing, Erwin?” You questioned, not daring to pour yourself a glass of the much needed water. He emerged from the depths of the cabinet and looked at you sternly, as if he had every reason to be crouched down there. “The faucet was dripping. It drove me insane all night.” He got himself up, stretched and dusted his pants. The old man tank top he always wore underneath his shirts was still on, yet the shirt was neatly folded on the kitchen table. He reached for it, putting in on and quickly buttoning it up and pushing it into his trousers. He turned the faucet on with one swift movement as he pointed that you look into the cabinet. The water ran, unable to escape the pipe. “See? It’s not dripping anymore!” He pushed the handle down, stopping the flow of water and closing the cabinet shortly after. He gave you an almost shy smile and walked past you towards the exit. “Where are you going?” He immediately turned around to look at you, a surprised look on his face. “I never meant to wake you up, just… Couldn’t leave you with a leaking pipe.” You raised your eyebrow at him, leaning against the wall, hands folded on your chest. “You know that I owe you a treat now, right?” He began to speak but said nothing. Finally, he walked back towards you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, y/n. I’d fix the sink anyway.” You pushed his hand away and stuck your tongue out. “It’s not what I meant! But, I’d like to take you for breakfast, at least? On me, of course! Since you’ve spared me of hiring a professional.” His eyes softened. “I’ll wait till you’re ready.”

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bluedandylyon · 20 days ago

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Rewatch Rambles (tm)

Season 1

Flowers for She-Ra

Ok I do have to admit that this is a really funny moment, but the cool part about most jokes on Spop is that you can actually learn a lot about the characters from them.

Adora legit panics at being in front of an authority figure she has no idea how to please. You can see Angella actually feel really bad for her for a second: she sees that little kid trying desperately trying to stay on the authority figure's good side so she doesn't get punished, but eventually, the hurt she feels over the Horde's actions override this compassion and she dumps it unto Adora, bc she is a product of the Horde.

I always forget the rebellion is so recent. Like we're talking about a one generation war here, and I also forget that Angella and Micah were the founders. It's kind of a nice nod to Micah wanting to fight against the Horde ever since he was training with Light Spinner, but after seeing what the spell of obtainment did, he went another route to do it after becoming disillusioned with magic.

My blorbo absolutely blaming herself for the death of Micah even tho she was like 3 when it happened and blaming herself for not knowing when she arrived to bright moon like a day ago. (quite literally a day ago, we know this is her first night in the castle)

Adora looks absolutely TERRIFIED, and like honestly, Angella is kinda absolutely threatening her here, so I don't blame her. It's just a repeated pattern in Adora's life: authority figures expecting perfection, otherwise she'll get punished for it.

She also internalizes "do not disappoint her as "do not disappoint me "

Which is one of the things I love about this show. There is SO much miscommunication due to trauma in this show, it's actually insane. Like I've said it before, but the entire conflict in Catra and Adora's relationship can actually be boiled down to how they each misinterpret what the other is saying over and over and over again due to their upbringings.

Another thing I love about this show: how they subtly show character's upbringings and social manners.

Glimmer freaks the hell out bc Adora just appears on her bed, but Adora doesn't really see the big deal bc there was no privacy in the Horde. It makes sense for her to just go up there. She was also probably like "well Catra and I were best friends, and Glimmer and Bow seem to like me a lot and also I feel really freaking isolated right now, so Glimmer won't mind if I just sleep on the foot of her bed like Catra used to do for me right?"

This poor girl is just trying so hard to get on Angella's good side and be of service. Knowing about her traumas and how deeply she has internalized that she has no inherent value, these scenes become really hard to watch.

I'm sorry, as a fandom, we truly do not talk about Catra's mrrp here enough. It is the best noise she ever makes in the show and that's counting all the "hey adora"s and purring. THERE I said it.

You know what's fucked up? The fact that Catra is so optimistic that SW will finally recognize her worth now that Adora's gone. She misses Adora like crazy, but she's also felt like she's lived under her shadow for so long, that it's also really nice to have a chance to prove herself, even if it isn't enough, bc it's never enough for SW.

I always wonder what the hell this drawing is??? Is it a drawing Adora made when she was a kid?? Like did she draw this when she was younger as like a dream she had and just glued it to her locker? Or is it a drawing the horde soldiers made mocking Adora and belittling her betrayal? Maybe the latter makes more sense. Either way, lots of questions.

I do like the show, don't tell of "I've told you everything I know about Adora" and then noticing that drawing and crumpling it, bc Catra is still trying to protect Adora by not telling SW about She-Ra.

The way she FLINCHES :c It breaks my heart to think of how many times Catra has been physically abused.

AND THEN SHE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO CHECK ON HER WHEN SW's IN PAIN, GOD.

It's a mix of Catra genuinely having a really big heart, but also wanting your caretaker to care about you so badly that you're willing to try just about anything to get that affection. This all happens so fast that it's very unconscious though, Catra can normally pretend that she doesn't care about SW's affection or recognition.

Loaded ass phrase in the middle of a gay ass buff jock moment, this is peak She-Ra right here.

Ppl don't really understand that when I say "she-ra is the gayest show I have ever watched" I not only mean "the protagonist is a lesbian and she saved the universe by loving her catgirl gf and kissing her" I also mean bc of moments like this. Like this is gay culture. As a certified buff dumb jock, seeing Adora do shit like this and constantly challenge Sea-Hawk to arm-wrestling literally means so much to me bc I be doing that shit unprompted at any given moment.

Again.

Gay culture.

Also I think about that She-Ra close-up constantly, I love how androgynous she looks here. Absolute gender.

Honestly, rewatching S1, they got away with so much shit. Like pretty much every woman who sees she-ra has a crush on her, it is SO funny. You can tell that after princess prom, the execs were like "please,,, you can't keep getting away with this"

The implications of this are really interesting actually. If this isn't a myth and it's instead a legend, I wonder if Mara and squadron Grayskull actually did go to beast island at one point and tried to dismantle it or something. Would make for a cool one-shot.

It’s interesting Glimmer says to concentrate really hard bc it’s the opposite of how she ra gets her healing powers. She gets them by relaxing and moving through her fear, almost entering a meditative state instead of directly focusing on them.

It's so upsetting how she is unable to recognize how unfair it is for people to be placing all of these responsibilities on her when she discovered she was She-Ra like, yesterday. And Bow and Glimmer eventually recognize this and reassure her, but they're still not the best at it. She will probably always ask herself if they would have become her friends if they met her as Adora, not She-Ra.

She has been raised to be perfect at everything she did, on the first try, or get love and recognition taken away from her, so the only thing she can do is get mad at herself, because she has been taught that she deserves it.

Rare Adora acting W.

Completely obsessed at how Bow is mimicking her to appear intimidating LMAO

Glimmer looks so hot in armor, that is all.

I love the intentional dealing-with-a-homophobic-parent language choice here.

This is genuinely so sweet and thoughtful of them honestly. It's really painful to see the juxtaposition between Catra's isolation and loneliness with Adora becoming closer with new friends, though. I know she meets Scorpia (who is a bit too enthusiastic), but it's not like she is in a position to truly accept new friendships outside of Adora anyway.

Oops I thought this was going to be a shorter one bc I was like "it's flowers for she-ra, how trauma packed can it be, really?" I should know better, I've watched this shit 10 times dude.

#spop #spop meta #she-ra #she ra #BDL analyzes #RR S1

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butterflydm · 1 month ago

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Rewatching 3x01 & 3x08 together (for fic purposes)

Spoilers for the whole season and some general spoilers for the books through, idk, I'll say Winter's Heart.

It really does feel like 3x01 set up some strong conflicts that were resolved in 3x08 -- Egwene's misgivings about Rand being about the madness as opposed to only about ~cheating~ comes across much more successfully if you only watch the first and last episodes of the season, lol.

I do personally feel like dragging Randgwene out for so long muddled the narrative that they were going for with them (from my own feelings and a sampling of what other people said -- some people picked up on them being mis-aligned but a lot of people basically attributed it all to Rand being A Bad Cheater Boyfriend, with Egwene essentially only being a passive victim instead of an active part of the relationship), because the themes that I've seen Rafe, Josha, and Maddy talk about in interviews (about Randgwene being about nostalgia and trying to keep in place a relationship that really doesn't exist anymore) feels like it comes across a lot more strongly without any of the intervening episodes between 3x01 and 3x08.

imo, 3x01 is also really the only episode where we get to see that Egwene is still ambitious, I think, and even then, it's only during her 3x01 Arches viewing (where mad!Rand tells her that she got 'what she always wanted' by becoming the Amyrlin, and so was potentially dismissed by viewers simply because it came out of Rand's mouth). And she never talks about it to anyone! It's all couched in her protecting Rand or being devoted to the Light (or protecting herself, once she realizes that there's an actual living person messing with her dreams). She never admits to any ambition in herself in s3, and she's never called out on it by anyone that the narrative tells us should be trusted on the matter (aka someone other than Rand).

What we needed was something like the scene with Elayne in early s2, where Elayne calls Egwene out on her jealousy of Nynaeve and it's obvious in Egwene's reaction that she hit on a sore spot and that Elayne is reading her accurately. Though, minor sidebar, now I kinda want to go back and see if Egwene ever admits to any faults, because it could be that that is supposed to be one of Egwene's flaws in the show -- we know from what was said in 1x07 that the pattern of the Randgwene pre-canon relationship was that if they had a fight, Rand (and only Rand) would apologize and that would 'fix' the fight, so Egwene never admitting to any faults or mistakes seems true for pre-canon Egwene; and when Randgwene 'resolve' their 1x07 fight, iirc Egwene never admits to there being any reason that Rand might doubt her devotion to Mat, a character who she has NEVER had a one-on-one conversation with on-screen and who she, in fact, did openly doubt when it came to his moral character. But it could be that I'm forgetting some lines that show!Egwene has had that would contradict this theory?

(I just went back and watched that Egwene & Elayne scene and Egwene never actually admits that Elayne was right and that she was feeling jealous; she straight-up denies it, in fact, just like she constantly denies in s3 that she's worried Rand might go mad -- it's just obvious in her reactions that what Elayne is saying is the truth. Plus it being about a friendship and not about a romance also helps un-cloud the issue, imo. As we also see in how Nynaeve gets more sympathy for wanting to 'save' Liandrin from the Shadow than Rand gets for wanting to 'save' Lanfear. So, yeah, that makes me lean towards 'this is an intentional flaw in Egwene's character' but I do feel like we needed something more in s3 to make that clear to viewers)

That is actually something that Mat could have potentially done if he'd gone into the Waste storyline the way that he does in the books -- been a contrast against/sounding board for Egwene. There's a bit of distance there, because he's one of Rand's best friends, but also a level of trust, because he's from the Two Rivers. I really do feel like we needed more of Egwene actually expressing her own feelings over the course of s3, because after 3x01, basically everything is other people telling Egwene how she feels while she either loudly denies it or looks off into the distance and says nothing. But according to the interviews, everyone else was right about Egwene's feelings and she was just in denial the whole time, but we never get anything validating that on-screen, imo. She just stays silent. So I really hope that we do get some conversations in s4 where Egwene expresses her own feelings instead of other people doing it for her.

Rewatching these two episodes so closely together also (as @markantonys recently talked about) really shows the contrast between the mad!Rand or the euphoric!Rand that we see in 3x01 vs the determined Rand that we see in 3x08, but we can also see that Egwene seems to feel like these are the same Rand, which means that she's not seeing him clearly. All that intervening space and the way that the Randfear relationship intersects with the relationship throughline makes it easier to go along with Egwene's viewpoint in 3x08, imo, and it's not as clear as it could be that she's not seeing the actual Rand who is standing in front of her but is instead seeing him through the lens of Arches!Rand who is screaming at her to bow to him. Everyone else is witnessing a prophecy coming to life, while Egwene is re-living one of her worst fears that she was forced to confront.

I feel like a conversation, or maybe more just showing us that Egwene is being affected by her visions, would have been good. Because it feels like Nynaeve's conversation about how deeply the Arches visions affects a person could be used to show that it's supposed to affecting Egwene too, even if she never talks about it but a) Elayne's visions aren't even shown on-screen and don't appear to have affected her at all and b) Nynaeve's talk sets up how her final vision in the Arches powers her own arc this season, so it's easy to mentally go "well, that's true for Nynaeve but it doesn't appear to be true for Elayne or Egwene".

So yeah, my general feeling is still that we either should have had Randgwene have their final relationship talk in 3x01 and had the rest of the season them resolving into a complex exes situation, or cut out some of the Liandrin backstory from 3x03 in order to put in some kind of Egwene scene where we can see how clearly she's seeing mad!Rand in the not-mad!Rand who is standing in front of her. Because it really feels like the way the narrative was played out disguises any issues that Egwene was bringing to the table in s3, and makes it look like the dissolution of their relationship was entirely Rand's fault. Especially since when Egwene talks about their 'relationship' to Elayne & Nynaeve, she says, "it's just as it was back home, like nothing's changed" while Rand says to Mat & Perrin, "we haven't really talked about [whether or not we're back in a relationship]" and we never get any kind of open and honest read from Egwene's perspective the entire season.

But, again, just watching 3x01 vs 3x08 does make the change in the relationship clear (even if Egwene still won't admit to Aviendha in 3x08 that they are no longer in a relationship! which is so wild to me!), and shows that Rand and Egwene have strongly conflicting points of view on how Rand needs to approach being the Dragon (especially now that Rand has fully embraced Moiraine's perspective, which contrasts sharply against Egwene's) and that this is, at this point in time, an irreconcilable difference in them that means that their relationship will never again be what it once was.

Egwene: "We could have kept you (Nynaeve) safe." vs Rand: "Safe's not possible anymore."

Egwene is trying to keep Rand 'safe' (from others? from himself?) all season but safety is not possible. But that might be what lies inside Egwene's refusal to commit to a break-up, even in 3x08? Because she believes that Rand 'needs' her in order to have the strength to pull himself back from the madness? idk she never talks about it! if that's the case, then maybe Rand not listening to her at the end of 3x08 means that she'll finally admit that they're not in a relationship anymore. We can only hope!

I do think that in the context of Egwene believing that she might need to 'stop' Rand, then her reaction to Aviendha asking if Rand ~deserves~ her strength is more interesting, because Rand's 'worthiness' is beside the point, if it's not about romance but instead potentially needing her strength to stop a 'mad!Rand' situation.

Rand absolutely is trying for a soft break-up in 3x01, though, with his assumption that Egwene is going to stay at the White Tower with Nynaeve and Mat, and she is not having any of it. And they're kinda stuck there until 3x06 though, again, it's wild that even in 3x08, Egwene will not verbally commit to no longer being in a relationship with Rand! (but Rand does, and it feels like the scene in 3x06 was clear enough to make the viewers feels that they're 'broken up enough' too, even if Egwene still won't say the words).

But by those same standards (was the 3x01 conflict resolved in 3x08?) -- it feels like Mat didn't go much of anywhere this season. He had some fan favorite scenes but the conflict that appears to be set up in his opening scenes -- not being able to help his friends because he's caught up in his own struggles -- remains the situation that he's in at the end of the season. Instead of being able to help Elayne or Nynaeve against the Black Ajah, he's caught up in his own struggles and taken out of the picture. He's struggling with memories in 3x01 and is now struggling with memories in the opposite direction in 3x08 (lost memories instead of new memories). He moved laterally but didn't actually resolve anything.

...that does line up with how Nynaeve's struggle with her block was essentially 'on hold' during s2 and then tee'd up to get knocked out in s3, so it could be that Mat was put on hold so that he can get the resolution to his current character struggle in s4 (fingers crossed for renewal, as always).

Taking Mat out of the Waste kinda feels like being put 'on hold' for Mat's own storyline but it has a MASSIVE impact on Rand's storyline.

Because everyone else who was already inclined to treat Rand like a person and also not be personally hurt by his relationship with Lanfear were already naturally leaving his plotline (Perrin, Elayne, and Nynaeve) so deliberately removing Mat -- who is the person who has been set up by the show to be the MOST sympathetic to Rand's concerns, as someone who a) has committed a similar 'crime' of abandonment that Rand did (1x06 Waygate abandonment vs 1x08 pretending to be dead), b) worried for weeks in s1 that he himself was the Dragon and was going mad, c) has already shown himself willing to support and uplift Rand (amateur therapy session in s2), d) has no reason to feel personally betrayed by Rand having feelings for Lanfear -- feeds into them wanting to play into Rand being more vulnerable to Lanfear when he's isolated.

And then that implies that bringing (some of) those people back into Rand's storyline in s4 would naturally/narratively give us a chance to get the other side of the story. Lanfear, the person who was trying to convince Rand that no one (but her) could genuinely care about him if they knew who he truly was, is now out of his life in a romantic way, and we are now free to bring back in the people who prove that she's wrong, because part of the point of s3 was to show us a Rand that would make the audience genuinely worry that he might pick Lanfear over the Light (but ultimately, I feel like the show would want to make it clear that Lanfear isn't actually correct and people are capable of loving and caring for all of who Rand is).

So it might have all been intentionally done to put us into Egwene's perspective to worry over Rand's mental state only to then bring in some characters in s4 who will be able to show us that part of that reaction was Egwene writing her own fears and worries onto Rand even though those fears aren't actually present (yet) in Rand's behavior.

It felt so significant to me that there was no Rand & Lanfear scene in the premiere and that really did play out throughout the season - Lanfear's primary dynamic this season, the one that mattered the most, was the one with Moiraine. Rand mentions Selene to Perrin and Mat -- that's the woman that he misses, the woman that he wanted. A woman who never existed. Moiraine is the one dealing with the woman who actually exists -- Lanfear. Just as it's Moiraine and Lan who deal with Lanfear in the season premiere, they are the ones who deal with her in the finale, while Rand has moved on from his ex and is dealing with things that matter more to him than holding on to a dead relationship with a cruel and manipulative woman.

The Randfear relationship is really well done on its own, but yeah I do feel like pulling the Randgwene relationship out so long kinda dilutes the power of what we see with Randfear, where Lanfear spends so long manipulating Rand and trying to convince him that no one but her can truly love him, only for Rand to go through the same realization that Lews Therin went through with her -- where she did something that accidentally revealed her cruelty and malice to him, and it make him realize the truth about her as a person. Because Egwene is mixed up in it, it gets dismissed as ~cheating~ instead of the abuse and manipulation of Rand that it is (otoh, it's entirely possible that even if Egwene weren't mixed up in it, it would still get dismissed the same way that the Mat-Tylin abusive dynamic is dismissed by some book!fans -- because some people genuinely believe that it's impossible for women to abuse men).

Randfear only have four (and a half, if you count Charn and Mierin) scenes together this season but each scene moves the story of their relationship's downfall forward in a powerful way -- we have the baseline of 3x02, which establishes that Lanfear is trying to tempt Rand and telling him that no one but her is capable of loving him because he's secretly just as awful as she is (peak abusive manipulation); we have 3x03, where Lanfear does her best to play on Rand's heartstrings and make him want to save her; we have 3x04, where Rand is given his hope that maybe Lanfear CAN be saved (and it's key that his hope comes from something that Lanfear herself had no way to manipulate); we have 3x05, where he momentarily gives in to temptation because he thinks there's a chance that 'Selene' really was a real version of Lanfear; and then we have 3x08, where Rand has learned who Lanfear really is and takes control of their relationship in order to finally end it. That is very economical and efficient storytelling! And the body language is all the Randfear scenes is just... excellently done. You can see the whole story just in the way they react to each other, without needing the words.

I will say, it feels very much like a warning sign that Moiraine and Lanfear agree that Rand's friends are 'holding him back' from 'the man that he must become' and then Rand comes around to agreeing with Moiraine (and, by extension, Lanfear) in the finale, and no longer objects to their methods (of hurting his friends to try to drive them away). Lanfear is maybe not the person that we should be agreeing with when it comes to how Rand's mental state should be handled.

That being said, the two parallel scenes of Rand and Moiraine's conversations in 3x01 vs 3x08 are very good -- we get them completely unable to connect and agree in 3x01, and when Moiraine crouches down to Rand's level, it feels like she's treating him like a child. While the 3x08 scene is both of them being willing to meet in the middle -- Moiraine admits she was wrong to try to force Rand to go to Tear, while otoh Rand has come fully to terms with the idea of embracing Moiraine's (unhealthy) policy of cutting himself off from his loved ones in order to embrace being the Dragon. And when Rand gets on her level in that second scene, it marks them seeing each other with vulnerability and mutual honesty, and they stand up together to fight their separate (yet linked) battles.

It cracks me up that Elayne gets kicked out of the ~serious conversation~ about the danger that Rand poses to the people he loves that Siuan wants to have with Egwene and Nynaeve... only to go talk to Rand and actually be the one person who has the greatest impact on him this entire season, by setting in motion his choice to go to the Aiel Waste and becoming the Car'a'carn to earn the Aiel as an army. Her advice here saves Rand's life (per what the Wise Ones told Moiraine in 3x03) and is key to him fulfilling the prophecies and the only people who know about it are her and Rand.

But that really does point out that Elayne gets left out of all of the "oh no, Rand is super-dangerous and is going to go mad" conversations that Egwene gets hammered with this season, so she's not bringing that with her everywhere she goes the way that Egwene is. But, yeah, this is another scene where Egwene has this instant denial and push-back against the idea that she might need to 'stop' Rand but apparently (from what was said in interviews and actually also the synopsis for the season that was put out) -- worrying about needing to 'stop' Rand was part of Egwene's struggle this season! I know I've mentioned it before but I really really feel like it needed some more attention and I feel like we could have sacrificed some of Liandrin's backstory in order to put a spotlight on this struggle of Egwene's.

Again, if you only watch 3x01 and 3x08 back to back, then I think that theme does come through successfully, but when you have all those intervening episodes, I feel like it gets kinda lost, especially since it's something that Egwene is never willing to admit out loud.

"Rand isn't used to having power. Command doesn't sit easily on his shoulders. But he will learn his duties and responsibilities to your people." Much like Elayne sets Rand's journey into motion, we see here that she has faith in his ability to become the Aiel's Car'a'carn. When Egwene is with Rand, she is always trying to see the boy that she once knew (the way that Lanfear is always trying to see Lews Therin? the way that Rand is trying to see Selene?), but Elayne sees the person that Rand actually is -- his challenges and his struggles included.

So I'm really hoping that we're going to see that when Elayne comes back into s4 and hopefully gets back into Rand's storyline relatively quickly -- Egwene will now be looking at Rand through the lens of mad!Rand from the Arches since she's decided he's not the boy that she used to know, while Elayne looks at him and sees the person that's really there.

Plus we see that Elayne is fully willing to wield dangerous power for the sake of the Light when she grabs the balefire rod from Jeaine and murders her with it without even the slightest bit of hesitation. So that's another place where it seems like she can understand the position that Rand is in.

There is also a very subtle and in-the-background Randlayne hug in the 3x01 goodbye scene. They definitely kept the Randlayne vibes low-key but present -- she's incredibly important to his story this season but not in a way that trips 'cheating' bells the way that his interactions with Lanfear did. The subtitles also say that Rand is telling Elayne "Thank you" here! It is VERY quiet though, because that's right when the music is kicking up. But I can hear it when I turn the sound up. So yeah, Elayne goes from saying goodbye to Aviendha right to saying goodbye to Rand.

(and the ta'veren boys goodbye hug is also very nice, even if I remain sad that pretty much all Cauthor got stripped out of one of the biggest Cauthor books in the series)

Aviendha's "My duty is to you, as yours is to your people." really does reinforce the point that Elayne made to Rand about how even if Aviendha is grumpy over Rand being the Car'a'carn, she does still stick by him. And that plays out in 3x08 as well, even though I do wish they'd actually gotten their own scene together, instead of Aviendha's single one-on-one conversation being with Egwene.

The White Tower scenes in 3x01 vs 3x08 go full-circle so hard and so painfully. That what Siuan tries to do to Liandrin here -- denounce her as a Darkfriend -- comes around on her in the end. Tried, stilled, interrogated, and executed. That was the plan for Liandrin, before her Black Ajah allies in the Hall came to rescue her. And, of course, Elaida made sure to send away Siuan's allies before moving forward with her coup.

So out of the Black Ajah that are revealed here, Liandrin is the only survivor that we see on-screen at the end of the season. We also get a foretaste of vengeful Leane here, who will see likely see in full force in s4, with that need for revenge turned against Elaida. Leane doesn't interact with Egwene in this episode, but she is there to witness Egwene repudiating Siuan's authority and leaving immediately after her Accepted Test (and so is Alviarin, who becomes Leane's counterpart at the end of the season).

We have the contrast of helpless!Nynaeve in 3x01 (because she's blocked) and then she gets unblocked in 3x08... but too late to do anything except save her own life. That's something that I've been turning over in my head. Nynaeve doesn't get to 'protect the kids'. She doesn't make it in time when Egwene needs to be saved in s2 and Egwene has to rescue herself; she isn't the one to heal Rand when he gets his dagger injury; she's not the one to save Mat's life in 3x08 even though she promises to help him in 3x01.

Maybe something about Nynaeve learning how to put on her own life vest before helping with anyone else's? I really am curious if Nynaeve is going to be able to help any of the kids in s4, now that her block is broken and she's no longer afraid of/hating her own power anymore.

#wot #the wheel of time #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot s3 spoilers #wheel of time s3 spoilers #wot 3x08 spoilers #wot book spoilers #winter's heart #i talk a lot about rand & egwene in this one #that really is the part of the season that i keep poking at lol #butterfly watches wot #wot meta #my wot meta

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lucius-i-ran · 4 months ago

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Nico had higher chances than anybody else to follow Luke and they were all so damn lucky he didn't

This one is going to be a long one y'all; I could name so many reasons why Nico might have sided with Luke it's not even funny.

1. first and foremost, Nico learns about the injustice of the demigod world at a dreadfully young age. His sister dies in a quest, learing that not only gods but also heroes are unreliable since he placed trust in one and it was broken. All of that while being 10, do you know how impressionable you are at that age? And Percy was so foolish not to search for him harder because if Luke had found Nico in that state, it would have been the fall of society as we know it.

2. about that: Nico hates Percy, with all his might in fact; and who is the no.1 enemy for Luke's? Percy. This sounds kinda silly but I really don't think we should underestimate the power that a shared enemy has. I know it's mentioned in the books but I really don't think it's discussed enough how lucky the whole WORLD was that Luke didn't find out about the common feud and Nico's powerful heritage or he would have had him on his side in a matter of minutes.

3. Hades mistreats him as soon as he is aware of his presence. I'm 100% convinced that the scene where he belittles him in front of Percy in tlo is not the only time his father made this kind of comments. And even if that wasn't the case, this just means Hades let his 11 year old grieving kid run around with a vengeful and manipulative ghost, completely ignoring him and his wellbeing. And if being literally bullied and neglected by your father isn't enough, he gets mistreated by his peers. Even after tbol, everyone is wary of Nico and basically the whole campa avoids him; everyone has prejudices against him just because of his heritage. Now tell me that is not just revenge fuel.

4. Nico's support system sucks buttcheeks. He literally has nobody to rely on, no one to talk to that isn't dead, no one to vent and give him reassurance or advice (actual, good advice). He was a child!! a 10 year old that suddenly found himself without a family, without a home, without a friend. And Luke, because of his manipulative tactics and because I believe he actually wants to "house" the disappointed demigods, would have had Nico in a heartbeat!!

5. Nico lost his mother to Zeus himself in an attempt on his and his sister's life (as I've said before). This would already have been reason no.1 for anybody else to join Luke, but if that wasn't enough imagine how pissed Nico was when he found that Zeus, after attempting to his life and drastically changing it forever (for the worst) had children, well past the moment when the big three vowed. Nico is a better person than me bcs I would have been like "yk what? y'all deal with this mess by yourselves, I'm going to hang out with my helldog and this corpse I found"

6. Let's not forget!! Nico is a child of Hades!! His fatal flaw is holding grudges and I'm kinda pissed that Rick didn't make the most out of this part of the character to give us some moral conflict. Because of this characteristic mixed with all of the reasons above, I'm 100% convinced that if Luke had proposed Nico to join him when he was at a ever so slightly lower mental point, Nico would have joined, no second thoughts.

In conclusion, everyone should've kept two eyes open when sleeping, after the titan's curse.

#nico you're so much better than me #I would have smoked zeus's ashes frfr #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #nico di angelo #luke castellan #hades #pjo tlo #pjo thoughts #the titan's curse #percy jackson and the titan's curse

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yoinkschief · 7 months ago

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I did it - I finally did it, I made concept doodles of the different leaders

I've been meaning to do this for a while now, I've just kept forgetting to and then get distracted with much more pressing matters n shit so yk but I decided fuck it they don't need to be good so long as they just get my idea across,,, and then later on when I have the time, energy and patience to I can fully render them

These are all also leaning into who they are in my HCs, simply because I think it's kinda boring to just go "well what if we put person a in person b's body and keep everything else the exact same" like where's the nuance in that,,,

So all the same story beats still happen, just minor differences, like Tord still leaves and has the robot explode causing the damage (but different contexts now) and Tom is still possessed by the rage demon or whateva and Edd still gets powers and Matt still becomes a vampire,, they just are put in different plot points in the story

I don't like the idea of just reskinning characters, yk, if I were to change story beats for things like "instead of matt getting bitten by the vampire bite it was tord" I wouldn't want it to just be the same shit happens because Tord wouldn't react the same way to it as Matt would, yk ?? I don't wanna give the character's the others personalities, just their plot beats

But in this things stay relatively the same

Except in this Tom, in a desperation to live after failing to dismantle Tord's robot in an act of rage against Tord returning and pretending like nothing happened, makes a deal with his more demonic half and gives up part of his soul to live

Edd gets blown up trying to use Tord's robot against Tord's wishes and something something main characters can't die or whatever so he painfully finds out that his "poweredd" powers grant him a very fucked up version of immortality,,, I made it look goopy because I can and I'm madly in love with my partner and they've given me this idea so fuck them blame them if you want

Matt gets no lasting consequences for his actions because he's a vampire and they have MAD regenerative abilities, but he does still blow up but this time when him and Edd are fucking around in Tord's little office ?? whatever the hell it is he has stuffed in his room as a secondary room, yk when him and Edd are touching all those buttons they're not supposed to, that's what caused the robot to malfunction and Matt ends up getting the brunt of it - I mean so does Edd, and since this would be Tom's world that would probably why Matt and Edd's relationship grows sour since Edd got caught up in the blast too n whatnot I dunno I'm mostly spitballing here I haven't sat down and properly thought out these AUs yet so yk

take all of this with a grain of salt this is ALLLL subject to change in the future but for now this is what I have in my head for everything :p

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i-will-cry-you-a-river · 8 months ago

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Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Fall: I’ve been wondering, how did you get into writing? You seem like you’ve got such a strong grasp on it. It’s kind of intimidating, honestly. You are way too good with your words, especially compared to us, mere mortals.

Shen Yuan smirked as he typed out his reply, leaning back against his hospital bed.

Shizun: You flatterer! But honestly, I’ve spent way too much time hate-reading terrible webnovels and thought, ‘Well, I can’t do worse than this’. Writing fanfiction was kind of a last-ditch effort to keep my sanity after reading PIDW for so long. And…

He started to hit backspace but hit enter instead. Shit.

It took a minute for Fall to answer. Against his hopes, not without asking about that ‘and’.

Fall: “And…”?

Fall: But LOL. I should have known that nothing can beat spite. Not sure if you know - probably you do, since you love PIDW’s world so much -, but there's a commenter, Peerless_Cucumber, who is like that. The angrier he gets, the more eloquent he writes. Barring all the swearing, LOL.

Fall: Shit! Wait. No. Now that I think about it, please, don't check him out! If you two would collaborate, you could take over the world.

Shen Yuan couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh. It seemed, it was a good decision not using his Peerless_Cucumber acc, but it was quite strange to read about himself. Maybe he should tell Fall it was him.

Hahaha. No. Fuck, no.

Shizun: Hahaha, I know about him! Would it be strange if I'd say that I kinda use his long-ass comments/essays as bases for improvement? He is always so detailed with all the problems and issues, it is much better to use those instead of the fan Wiki.

Shizun: So… about the “and”.

Shizun: I used to be quite sickly when I was young. I spent a lot of time in the hospital, and I found out that reading and writing was a wonderful way to forget about the real world. Funnily enough, I'm actually at the hospital rn, turning towards writing once more.

It took a little longer for Fall to answer. Biting into his mouth, Shen Yuan hoped that it wasn't too personal too soon. Shen Yuan glanced at the IV drip beside him, the sterile smell of the hospital room filling his senses. It wasn't that bad.

It wasn't good either.

He wanted to go home. Home had his own bed. Home had his PIDW merch and his favorite pillow his er-ge forbid to bring him to the hospital.

Fall: Oh, shit. That sucks.

Fall: I get that. Reading (and maybe writing, but you may never know) is a safe space for me too. It helps to forget about all the problems in the world, to imagine you are somewhere else, in a better place. Also, I hope you are doing okay! I'm also in a similar situation, so high five bro! (Kinda managed to do something very, very stupid. Did you know that ramen is liquid and liquid does not go well with electricity?)

Fall: On a lighter note, I really think that you are good at writing. You should try to do original work if you want to - you are, like, natural at balancing world-building and character development. I'm kinda jealous, but I've learned a lot just from reading your fic.

Shen Yuan blinked at the screen. It was one thing for random commenters to leave praise, but for some reason, hearing it from Fall felt... different. He found himself smiling stupidly, warmth blooming in his chest. Fall was just so…

He was lovely.

A great “bro”, it seemed. Way to be bro zoned.

Shizun: First of all, don't you dare to

sell yourself short! Not on my watch! You’ve got some pretty good ideas yourself. I can tell from your comments you’ve got a solid grasp on storytelling. Second, what the fuck, Fall?? You okay???

There was a longer pause before Fall replied. Shen Yuan knew that logically, Fall had to be safe, since he could write - they had been communicating constantly for the last two weeks -, but that didn't make it less scary. To know that Fall could have…

To think that Shen Yuan could have died… if either of them died…

They could have never met. It was a strangely disturbing and upsetting thought.

Fall: I'm good, I'm good! Dw!

Fall: Okay, but consider this: I don't think anybody would be interested in what I'd write. What I would like to write about.

Shen Yuan only had one answer to that:

Shizun: I'd read that.

Fall didn't reply for a long time after that, but that was okay. Shen Yuan assumed he needed some time to think about it, and that was okay. He just hoped his friend would realize how much Shen Yuan thought the world of him. He believed in Fall, even if Fall didn't believe in himself.

Shen Yuan, after all, had experience in believing in authors with great potential, who lacked the spine to be themselves and write what they wanted, instead of what the majority of the people demanded.

-*-*-*-

Fall: I've been thinking a lot about SJ and the way you portrayed him handling the Immortal Alliance Conference. It was fascinating to see the parallels. Him killing WY, who murdered those kids to save YQY versus him throwing LBH into the Abyss, believing that he, as a demonic cultivator, also killed all those kids. It was such a great moment! Shocking, because I think we all thought he would not do it since your SQQ wasn't as brutal as Airplane's, but you executed it so well! Oh, I wish Airplanes would have done the same. So heartbreaking! While PIDW created a monster out of SQQ, you created a human.

Fall: I'm also wondering if you plan to make him struggle with that choice later. Like, will he regret it in hindsight?

Shen Yuan considered this, tapping his fingers against his laptop. Fall always asked questions that made him rethink his plans. Actually, he didn't really think that he did such a great job at drawing parallels between the two Conferences, so he planned to switch POVs and continue it from Luo Binghe's, but…

It was actually a great question. The readers already knew about Luo Binghe's experiences in the Abyss more-or-less. Shen Yuan planned to show how staying at a more stable peak affected his physique, but it could be fascinating to explore what happens to Shen Qingqiu meanwhile.

Maybe he could do both…

Maybe-

Shizun: You raised a good question. I think I'll have him grapple with the consequences, it could be interesting to see how things turn out in the mortal world.

Fall: I think you should do it. It would fit your world-building theme… You could make the story feel more real. Like, the world, the characters and their choices have weight, y’know?

Shen Yuan knew exactly what Fall meant.

Shizun: Yeah, you are absolutely right. It was definitely something PIDW was missing - characters suffering real consequences. Even if they did something, be it either bad or good, it didn't really matter, because they either died in the end, or…

Fall: or had sex?

Shen Yuan snorted, typing back quickly.

Shizun: I wanted to say kinky, yet utterly boring papapa, but yes.

Fall: Oh, don't mention it! If I never read the words ‘thrust’ and ‘dangling’ again, it’d be too soon!

Shizun: I hate you.

Shizun: I want to bleach my eyes. I hate those words! And all the euphemisms Airplane use. ‘Flowers’, I get. Even ‘heavenly pillar’ makes sense! But comparing breasts to cow's udders?!?! Sometimes I wonder about Airplane's sex ed background…

There was a longer pause after that. Only his nervous ticks revealed his anxiety over that pause. Was he too offensive? It was not his Peerless_Cuvumber acc, so maybe he shouldn't have been so critical over the papapa scenes? But that was the best part in his friendship with Fall! He felt free to be open, to be himself!

Before he could work up himself, a reply came.

Fall: Maybe he doesn't really like writing sex? Or specifically, hetero sex? Maybe he is…

Shen Yuan stared at the words.

Airplane, his favorite and most hated author might be similar to him?

Maybe.

But…

Shizun: Don't care. I'm gay, and I could write better hetero sex scenes if I wanted to! Sexual orientation is not a good reason to be so bad at something!

Only after he sent the message did he realize that he fucked up. Sure, he might have flirted sometimes as they were talking with each other, but only within the boundaries of a no-homo friendship. But now that he came out in the heat of the moment…

He didn't want to lose a friend.

Fall: Okay, but you are different. You dare to write what you love.

Shen Yuan only realized that he had been withholding his breath, when he could feel himself breathe normally. It was not an explicit acceptance-

But it wasn't a rejection either.

He would take it.

Deciding, he would not bring attention to his accidental came-out, he wrote:

Shizun: If you ever decide to write something, you can also write whatever you wish to. It will be great, I'm sure of it!

There was a break in the conversation, again. He hoped he didn't push hard, since he knew Fall had been pretty hesitant to talk about his own writing in the past, but he hoped his encouragement helped.

Fall: Maybe one day. If I get brave enough to write something worth reading, you’ll be the first to know!

Shen Yuan smiled at his phone, feeling the familiar warmth settle in his chest. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of Fall sharing his work with him first, felt like something worth waiting for. The guy had a way with words, it was obvious from his comments. He was insightful and had an eye for details. Shen Yuan knew that if he ever wrote something he really liked, it would be an instant hit.

-*-*-*-

As the time passed, the day of Shen Yuan’s discharge loomed closer and closer. Which, don't misunderstand him, he desperately waited for!

However…

He had to admit. He didn't really want to leave the Hospital Guy. Sure, he still didn't know much about the guy - not even his name, for fuck's sake! -, but he had grown attached.

Hospital Guy was funny and smart and weird and hilarious. Shen Yuan enjoyed spending time with him, their quiet moments in the garden. He liked talking with/to him about everything and nothing. Hospital Guy was attentive when he ranted about the series he binge-watched between two chapters of PIDW, and they also had the same taste in music! He liked seeing the guy relax, and he loved it even more that he, Shen Yuan, was the reason for his more relaxed state!

He just liked Hospital Guy, okay?! He was just adorable, both inside and out!

So, on the day of his discharge, Shen Yuan mustered the courage to do the one thing he had yet to do: visit the guy's room.

Hospital Guy was clicking wildly on his phone, but the moment he noticed Shen Yuan, he stopped, and focused all his attention on him.

“Hi,” Shen Yuan said, surprisingly shy.

“Hello, Stranger,” Hospital Guy grinned.

“I'm leaving today,” he blurted out. The grin was instantly gone from Hospital Guy's face, turning into an unreadable mask.

It was concerning.

“Oh,” was all he said.

Shen Yuan waited, hoping for something more. A request to stay in touch, disappointment for not continuing their daily walks, or at least a goodbye that felt more meaningful. He waited for something, anything-

But the guy just nodded, his gaze drifting away from Shen Yuan, as if with that, he had already forgotten about the friend he made in the hospital.

Maybe they weren't really friends. Maybe everything was only in Shen Yuan's head.

Maybe he had bothered Hospital Guy all along.

Disappointment surged through Shen Yuan. He’d thought, maybe, there was something there; a connection, a friendship, maybe even more! But the guy didn’t seem to care.

It was as if Shen Yuan didn't even exist anymore.

“Alright,” Shen Yuan said, his voice tight. He would not cry. He would not scream. He would not fight. He would not bother Hospital Guy ever again. “Take care of yourself.”

And with that, he left.

#shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #no transmigration au #svsss #svsss fanfiction

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valenishere · 1 year ago

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Sagau Idea

I'm not that good with writing YouPoV's so there may be some odd usage of they's and thems then switching to "you"'s. this'll be stock full of typos so be warned

Mentions of injury, implied murder, blood, and implied cult

It's been a long while since I've gotten into Self-aware genshin aus, reading the fluffiest scenes to straight up gore. And theres this concept I saw about where the creator (basically, you) can make any oc come to life and help them out. (this one read it s really good. They also expanded on it go read it too its a really neat build-up on it. this one)

And as a DnD enjoyer as well... there's this idea thats been brewing in my head whenever i think back to it.

What if in Imposter!au where they're being constantly being hunted... after getting cornered in one of the nations (in the Chasm for example) they get desperate and try out an idea they don't think would work.

While resting after being in the brink of death(again) in a place Teyvat has helped you conceal, your thoughts wander. You think, why is there even a Creator? There isn't supposed to be one. That kinda concept just disrupts everything they know about the game. It's a ridiculous concept. In your delirious state, you think, "I wish that just disappears... Then i wouldn't be..."

Then you remebered the curious ability you've recently unlocked in your "adventures". The ability to create characters, with some limitations. It took you quite a bit to adjust to your newfound ability and its caveats, resulting in a few heartbreaking loss on the way.

But as a DnD player, overcoming the death of your beloved characters quickly is a mental fortitude you've developed. And it's handy that you've already made a few characters for your past sessions before landing in Teyvat. It saved you from being one-shotted right from the start.

Although now... You're down to only one left.

"... I'm so tired..."

The mental stress of being in a constant state of danger, paranoia, hunger, pain, and exhaustion have worn you down to a point where you can't even think up of more characters to make up for the one's that have recently passed. You slipped up so bad because of sleeplessness that your last capable party of characters died and a hole was speared through your gut too.

As you lay bleeding on the cold ground, with only a talking mushroom to keep you company, you wrack your brain to put together a proper character but... you really can't. You can't even think straight. Not with the recent information you've found out.

The so-called Creator is now creating their very own characters, their very own people/army, through alchemy, and is now sending them after you, thus increasing your hunters by double. And on top of the already powerful vision-holders (of course they're powerful, you made them that way), you figured... "Ah... I'm fucked..."

Knowing you might as well be as good as done now, you didn't even bother bringing out the last of your characters to heal you. It's not like healing yourself will make you forget about this lifelong trauma--

... Forget?

...

A fleeting thought.

A dumb fleeting thought. A very dumb one at that.

One that will for sure backfire in your face if you do it wrong. And quite frankly, it could spell the end for this world, even for the one they call Creator.

... But it's not like you have anything else to lose.

And so, within the dim light of the mushroom, you painstakingly start to write. Word for word, cramming everything information you know, as deatiled as you can make it into bringing it into life. A character you've never tried making before. Something that could possibly end your suffering. Or make it worse.

You honestly don't know if you're doing it right. After all, you've never tried something like it before.

"What are you making this time?' the ever so curious mushroom asked.

You grin, a manic look in your eyes. "Either my stupidest... or my brightest idea yet."

It's not long befere you finished. You gaze upon your finished product and you have to say... it's even more fleshed out than your best characters. And that quick sketch you drew... you swear those hollow eyes are following you already. That may be just the blood loss talking.

"That's... one ugly worm you've drawn..." The mushroom hums, like it can just see the monstrosity that you've created.

You chuckle breathlessly, looking almost solemn with what you're about to do. Well... it' not wrong. But...

"This is my kid. Their name is... Falseh. Get along well with them... okay?"

0===|>>>>>.

The very ground trembles as the Lord of Geo strides through the dark tunnels, a dark look in his eyes and a spear in his hand. If his presence wasn't enough, the murderous intent rolling off of him in waves is enough to deter any beasts from crossing his path.

The imposter was last seen slinking around the depths of the Chasm by one of the Tianquan's agents. Although failing to execute the imposter the first chance they got with their incompetence, Morax have to commend the Qixing for being able to find them even in the depths of the earth.

For some reason, the land seems to reject his commands from time to time now. He was baffled as to why his beloved Maker is hindering him in fulfilling his given mission but he's just been informed that the land defiance of him is due to the imposter infecting the land with their vile abilities.

Now, he's even more hellbent on making sure to drive his spear through the imposters heart and presenting it to his Grace. He won't miss a second time.

His eyes sharpens as a he a cavern just up ahead, soft blue light spilling through entrance. Tightening his grip on his spear, the power of Geo gathers in his other, ready to skewer someone five times into death if he so wishes.

He steps through the entrance and immediately lands on a figure, leaning prone under a giant glowing mushroom. He relaxes a bit. He recognizes this place. It's a bit close to the Land of Verdure, Sumeru. He needs to be careful. He can't be caught flaunting his power on another Archons domain after all.

Approaching the figure, he gets a bit surprised as they twitch, looking up to him through their hair. They try to talk, but all they can manage are quiet wheezes.

'Oh. They're still breathing. That's good.' Zhongli kneels down beside them, looking them over. They look like they've been dragged through the Abyss and back. Their midriff is bandaged heavily but it's already bled through, forming a pool of their own blood below them. He frowns lightly. It must be quite a big injury if it's bleeding this much.

Wordlessly, he holds a hand over the injury and channels his power. He's not the most profficient in healing, but he should at least be able to stop the bleeding.

Mere moments later, he have plugged up the injury and the figure is now able to stand up.

"Th-Thank you so much Rex Lapis!" they bow down. Or at least, they bow down the best they can without opening their wound. "Any longer and I would've surely perished..."

Zhongli waves them off nonchalantly as he starts to walk back out the way he came. "It's best you get back to the surface. Your injury needs to be properly tended. And I can see that..."

His eyes drifts to the scattered bloody bandages and practically empty backpack. "You've run out of supplies. It is a virtue to you mortals to know when to give up. Remember that."

"Y-Yes sir Rex Lapis sir! I'll get back right away!" they start to quickly collect their things, haphazardly stuffing the bandages and handbook into the bag, being careful of their injury.

The Lord of Geo just watches for a moment before completely leaving, trusting that they won't make any stupid mistake and go back post haste.

After he has left, you pause in your packing, leaning against the mushroom and slowly sliding down with a shaky breath.

"Y-You... didn't you say he and the entirety of the world was hunting for you?" The mushroom hums in confusion, sharing your tension. "What was that? Heck, he was the one that put a hole through you and he healed you!"

You chuckle breathlessly, the manic look intensifying in your eyes as it dawns on you that it worked. That stupid idea of yours actually worked!

And if you can get to the Creator... you can make this whole concept disappear altogether. Forever.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you see it. A large mass of hairless flesh writhing about, multiple tentacle-like appendages potruding out of it. It's slithering it's limbs about, coiling around the mushroom and and back again, and around you as well.

But when you turn your head to actually look, there's nothing there. All you can hear is what seems to be muffled humming, an eerie tune listlessly flowing through the air (but somehow, the sound is the most comforting thing ever).

"Oh it's nothing. I think... he just heard something that made him forget."

#chaotic blabbing #spreadingchaos #genshin self aware #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #self aware genshin #sagau impostor au #sagau brainrot #sagau x reader #genshin isekai #A Creature That Sings A Song That Makes You Forget #shi its already 2 in the morning #I wrote this half asleep so dont be surprised if it doesnt make sense #Falseh is pretty easy to figure out #hint it starts with a false and it has multiple heads that can sing #its a homebrew guy but i really like 'im y'know

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wysecollection · 3 months ago

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I've been thinking a lot about 2020 internet (especially tiktok) system "community" and kinda how fucked up it left a lot of people with CDDs, especially those with introjects. I'm not gonna fakeclaim cause I don't fucking care, so please don't make it about that. Whether or not these (mostly children) had CDDs is really none of my business. There was just so much misinformation that was so easy to internalize and then be confused about being "wrong" about.

Thoughts below cause this is long as hell.

Introjects from fiction were a huge target because people on the outside thought it was cool to probe at their "favorite fictional character". And then these people who, whether or not they had CDDs, just fed into it and probably made it worse for themselves thinking they had to be exactly like their source to be a "real" introject. There was so much focus on source memories and acting canon that people didn't learn why introjects exist within the disorder.

Then there were all these labels that I don't really care where they initially came from, but names for whatever different "kinds" of fictives someone had, like what kind of source they had beyond a book or show. In my perception, it just turned into a competition a lot of the time. Who can have the most outlandish source? Who can have the most sources? Who is the most problematic from their source? Who has the most "traumatic" source memories?

There was also the notion that systems could/should always control who fronted and/or know who fronted, and it really messed up the perception of CDDs. I feel like now more than ever, people outside of a system are convinced that a system can get someone specific to front, and people with CDDs feel like they should know all the time, when that isn't the case. Yeah, most alters have specific roles and triggers. Does that mean they'll always front when you'd expect them to? No. It's a complex disorder.

It turned into a game for a lot of people, systems and non-systems alike. It turned into something fun. DID/OSDD and adjacent disorders are not fun. They can be funny, for some people sometimes, but in the end they are disorders. You wouldn't tell someone with Schizophrenia how cool it is that they experience hallucinations, so why do you tell systems how cool it is that they "have people in their head"? Because the perception of DID has been so utterly ruined so that people believe it is just alters. They forget or never learned about the fact that people's identity is fractured in such a way not because it's cool, but because of repeated, inescapable trauma.

Trying to teach people now that CDDs mean you are parts of a whole is such an uphill battle. Trying to convince people that they're not always or usually going to know what their inner world looks like, or be able to go there and remember things from it (since altogether the concept of an inner world is VERY different in reality from what it's portrayed as online) feels impossible. Trying to teach people that different systems have different amnesia barriers and different experiences with switching, and that it a lot of the time isn't "the body is empty and it takes twenty minutes for someone new to switch in" is so difficult, despite non-systems being so invasively curious about switching all the time. Trying to determine how to tell someone you have DID without being immediately associated with all of this misinformation also feels impossible.

The more I think about CDDs how they actually are, the more actually makes sense. All this just blatantly wrong or misconstrued information left a lot of systems thinking they were supposed to have everything about their system figured out, including their inner world and alter roles, and that they had to act/present a specific way to actually be a system. The more I internalize my experiences, the more I realize I'm just like a lot of other pwDID, because I didn't use social media as a primary source of information for a medical disorder.

There is no real closing thought or conclusion to this. No real advice I have. Don't rely on social media for information, don't convince yourself you need to be like anyone else to "actually" have DID.

#anti endo #endos dni #endos not for you #did #did osdd #traumagenic #did system #cdd #did community #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #complex dissociative disorder

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deadlysoupy · 3 months ago

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Soo I see you as a fellow mikey and bee fan (me too I love these little creatures that have some ıdentity problems ;>) . I have a little crossover thing in my head. When bee has some problems with cybertron and politics with a quick anger he takes a niiice vacation on earth. He absolutely has a little mental breakdown in some bar thinking and waiting to strascream to arrive he sees a little boy chased by some strange man. Now he has to save the boy from some strange man (ofc rubble trauma). While poor mikey is separated from his brothers and now try to run away from some strange man.

I just want them to explore emotional traumas and being sassy little shits while making everybodys problem

(Im sorry for this long thing I just have been thinking about them over a 2 weeks now)

⚘️

okay okay there's a lot to unpack here so it will get long, i didn't write anything but i have some thoughts

first of all thank you so much for this bc when i first got into transformers i saw bumblebee and, me being a life-long tmnt fan, spotted the mikey parallels right away, since my first tf show was tfa. it is disturbingly scary how many similarities these franchises have and its kinda sad no one considered a crossover yet, especially with the same publishing house at one point (idw). its a tragedy we never got anything with both of them, they're even both sci-fi genre with some environmental messaging - that said i don't want tmnt to be involved in a war so. uh. maybe not a great idea lmao

on the topic of mikey and bee - yes, they're absolutely very much similar! even when taking into consideration their different interpretations (like rise mikey being different from 2012 mikey, and tfa bee being different from tfone bee etc) i still think they both carry the same kind of attitude across their franchises. both are the "kid-friendly" appeal, their characteristics more upbeat and cheery to be a contrast to other more serious characters. BUT ALSO they get the LEAST amount of character growth out of any central characters (at least it's very prominent in mikey which i've always stated, you can quote me on that, he gets such "background character" energy it drives me up the wall sometimes; for bee its different with each iteration since he does get the central role more often than not), and they usually have to keep up an aloof persona everyone expects them to have (i drift to these characters all the time unfortunately) (AND THEY'RE BOTH THE YELLOW COLOUR TONE KINDA A LITTLE BIT)

so how would they interact with each other? it really really depends on the continuity and the timeline, but i'm gonna keep it brief and general enough as to not overthink it

i still think bumblebee would act like a sort of older brother figure no matter the situation - even if he fails at it bc he secretly just wants to have fun - and mikey is having none of it, he has enough brothers already. everyone knows michelangelo is a hazard to society and he's not gonna let anyone forget that, so he ropes bee into some weird shenanigans when he "could use the help of a cool giant alien robot". they break into a government facility or a decepticon base and try to get important info, and while bee feels bad about going in unsupervised ("goody-two-hoes over here"), mikey is having the time of his life, and seeing that uncontrollable chaos just sparks something in bee, too, so he starts enjoying it too a little bit

they both get scolded for sneaking out and doing dangerous stunts even if they got the intel, but ultimately get out scot-free with the power of ✨puppy eyes✨ and hang out for a while

i think bee would be very sad to see someone so young already experience so much hardship and still keep up a brave face... like sure he's been through war already but he's hundreds of thousands of years old, and this kid is fifteen and he's been trying to survive his whole life

mikey in turn being the sentimental and empathetic guy would try to help bee around his ptsd, reminding him a little bit of leo that way, and he'd try to share his love of humans and culture with him, maybe get them both out on a little nature walk, dance to music, teach bee how to skateboard (it does not go well lmao)

anyway bee gets a little stinky friend and he shows mikey off to every autobot in sight just holding him like "this is my best friend michelangelo :)"

made this just for fun as a reward for you guys having to bear my incoherent yapping (chose tfe bee bc hes the default to me) (AND THANK YOU ANON FOR SENDING THIS i actually had a lot of fun and got way too indulgent lmao)

#everyone look away #transformers #maccadam #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #michelangelo #tmnt mikey #gosh i forgot how to tag tmnt stuff. fake fan smh #bumblebee #soups walkie talkie #asks

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hungermakesmonsters · 4 months ago

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Just want to take a moment to congratulate you on 500 followers! You absolutely deserve it and more! I love your ideas and your writing. Can I request a blurb with a headstrong reader who is always used to fixing things herself but Billy just wants to take care of her? I like the idea of PA reader, kinda like Donna & Harvey in Suits! Maybe something like reader gets “stood up” by an Anvil client whose interest in you got Billy clear on how he feels and jealous on someone else seeing your worth?

I used to love Suits... but I never finished watching it so I don't know what happened with the whole Darvey situation but I LOVED their dynamic in the first few seasons of the show (and also just how weird and awkward it was when Max Beesley's character was going out for Donna for a while). So, yeah, this was definitely fun to write and I hope I've managed to catch enough of the awesome Donna energy in the reader character here! (Also now I'm going to have to start watching Suits again)

Don't Have to Say You Love Me

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : M

Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour.

You placed his coffee and lunch down in front of him, immediately drawing his attention upwards.

"Is that —"

"A large flat white and a toasted BLT with extra sauce," you said, knowing full well how he liked to take his lunch on a Friday. By this point you were almost offended that he dared to ask.

"And have you got —"

"The research on the Collins account and the two government contracts Senator Williams wants to discuss," you interrupted as you pulled three files from beneath your arm and placed them down.

His eyes narrowed on you, mind obvious racing, trying to find something you hadn't thought of.

"What about —"

"Yes, I've had someone from maintenance fix the AC in the meeting room because I know you don't like having the Senator in your office around the good scotch."

Everything was sorted. Everything he could possibly ask of you, and he knew why — he was just waiting for you to say it. You didn't want to have to say it, because you knew exactly what his reaction would be.

But you knew Billy Russo. You knew how fucking stubborn he could be.

It'd probably amuse him to keep you standing there all day like a lemon.

After a few seconds you let out a huff.

"You do remember that I'm leaving early today, right?" You asked, drawing attention to the elephant in the room.

You weren't even sure why Billy was so annoyed that you'd gone and gotten yourself a date — he was stringing along half the women in New York, so why did it matter that you'd finally found someone who was interested in you?

"Right, how could I forget?" He said and you could hear the disdain in his voice. "I still can't believe you're going out with Thompson."

"Why not?" You asked, really not in the mood for his snarky behaviour. You both knew each other better than that.

"He just so —"

"Rich?" You offered. "Handsome? British?"

"Boring. He's not right for you, he doesn't deserve you."

You rolled your eyes. "And what would you know about what's right for me, Billy?"

The question was met with the expected silence. You'd long since given up on any fancy notion of him actually seeing you or admitting to the undeniable tension that had permeated your relationship since you first started working for him years ago.

What had once been a will they, would they, could they, had be stamped with a big red absolutely not by him and his inaction.

"Enjoy your date," he said, like he was driving the final nail into the coffin.

You couldn't remember exactly what you told him as you left his office, but it didn't matter. The pair of you argued, you always had. You'd made it clear from the start that, just because you were his PA, you weren't there to take any of his shit. You did your job and you were damned good at it — he was lucky to have you, lucky that you still wanted to work for him when there were so many other firms that would love to have you.

But you were loyal if you had one fault. Endlessly loyal when it came to Anvil and when it came to Billy Russo.

The one thing you weren't, however, was an idiot. Davis Thompson was funny, charming and rich, and sure, you might have met him through work, but you at least owed it to yourself to see where it would go.

And, where it went, as it turned out, was absolutely nowhere.

You'd been stood up before — you were a big girl, getting snubbed by a man who couldn't even bother to text was not going to end your world. (Though it might give you the urge to key his car the next time he had a meeting at Anvil.)

You got to the bar early, and you waited.

And waited.

You ordered yourself a drink, and you waited.

You gave up on him showing, but you decided to have another glass of wine because, why not? And, while you were making bad decisions, you decided to add another to the list and text Billy.

Don't go getting smug, but you were right.

It took less than a minute for his reply to come through.

He bored you that much already?

You found yourself smiling, even as you rolled your eyes.

Didn't even show up.

Despite feeling somewhat embarrassed, you knew that Billy wasn't on the other end of the phone laughing at you. He wasn't like that. Not when it came to you. (He was probably planning on keying Thompson's car too now.)

You put your phone down on the bar and ordered another drink, only half-surprised when it didn't buzz with another message from Billy. It was fine. It was Friday, he was probably busy on a date of his own. You had your wine, you were happy, you'd maybe have one more, then —

"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"

In any other circumstances the bad pick-up line would have had you seriously considering throwing your drink, but you recognised the voice immediately and before you could even turn your head, Billy Russo was sitting at the bar beside you.

"Please tell me you've never used that line on a woman you actually wanted to sleep with," you said, barely biting back a laugh.

"I have," he answered, waving down the bar tender and ordering a glass of what you were drinking.

"And did it work?"

"I'll let you know at the end of the night."

"Oh, ha ha, very funny." You rolled your eyes. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Thought you might want some company since Thompson was a no-show."

For a few seconds you were willing to accept his answer, but it didn't exactly hold up under scrutiny.

"I text you literally five minutes ago; how did you get here so quick?" You asked, eyes narrowing.

"I was in the neighbourhood?"

He almost looked sheepish, embarrassed even, and you had no idea why. A dusting of pink spread across his cheeks and, for a second, he could barely even look at you.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" And, then when he looked at you, you felt an unsettling feeling in you gut. "What did you do?"

You'd always been good at reading him, at seeing right through him. And, right then, he had the look of a guilty man struggling to explain himself.

"Don't get angry —"

"Don't ask me not to get angry if you're going to say something that makes me angry, Billy," you warned.

He took a drink. "I might have cancelled your date —"

"You did what?"

Un-fucking-believable.

Actually, no. It was entirely fucking-believable. And that was what pissed you off the most. He'd ruined your date because of — what? Some selfish sense of jealousy and entitlement, because if he didn't want you, no one else should.

You start to move, standing only to find his fingers on your wrist.

"Wait —" he started, almost sounding panicked.

"I did wait, Billy," you said, admitting far more than you ever wanted to. "I waited for years. For you. And what were you doing? Fucking half of New York."

It was the first time you'd dared utter anything of the sort aloud, the first time either of you had openly admitted to the unspoken, unacted-upon feelings between you.

You tugged against his grip on you, but Billy held tight as you struggled against him.

"Let me go," you said.

"No," Billy answered, getting to his feet, standing in front of you. "I'm not letting you go again."

Before you could even think to question what the fuck he meant, his lips were on yours and your whole world seemed to come to a screeching halt. For a few sweet seconds, you were frozen, indulging in something you'd barely allowed yourself to dream about, but how could you trust it? How could you trust him when he was only kissing you because he'd been jealous, because he'd thought you were finally going to find happiness with someone else.

You pulled back from the kiss, enough to see the flicker of hurt in his eyes and the worry on his face.

"This better not be a game, Billy," you warned him. "I'm not one of your girls that you can pick up and drop whenever you —"

He cut you off with another kiss, his arm winding around you waist and pulling you against him. And you let him. You allowed yourself to melt into the warmth of his body, you fingers gripping his shirt at his waist, just beneath his jacket.

"No more games," he muttered against your lips. "I can't lose you. I won't. I'm sick of pretending that I don't want you — that I don't love you."

Your heart stuttered, knowing the weight that that word bore for Billy. He'd never used it when talking about any of the other women, and you knew it wasn't the sort of thing he'd say without meaning it.

Still, you couldn't bring yourself to say it back. Not yet, not when some part of you still ached over his treatment of you.

"Take me home," you said, daring to hope that this wasn't just some pipe dream that would vanish the moment he'd had you in his bed.

Not that you made it as far as his bed.

He'd taken you by the hand a pulled you out of the bar, into the cold New York air — his car was park a block over, it should have been a quick, short walk if it hadn't been for you pulling him back for another kiss. Then, before either of you could think, you found yourself in an alleyway, pressed back against a wall as Billy kissed you.

Years of tension quickly came to the fore, your fingers gripping his jacket, his shirt, his hair — anything you could get hold of, anything you could use to keep him close. And all the while, he kissed you. You couldn't get enough of him.

Things quickly reached boiling point, your fingers tugging at the fastenings of his pants while he lifted your dress. There was no slow build, no teasing foreplay, once you'd freed his cock, you found yourself lifted and —

"Fuck," you moaned against his lips, "fuck, fuck, fuck — Billy."

He buried himself inside you in a single fluid movement, stopping when every inch of him was hilted.

His forehead pressed against yours as you both stilled, already breathless, and both entirely overwhelmed.

"Billy," you said in a low whine, your fingers gripping his hair.

His eyes opened and he looked at you through the gloom of the alley.

"I love you," he said softly, like he'd finally realised the gravity of the situation.

He started to move with slow but deep thrusts, not quite making love to you, but doing all he could to show you that this meant something. He alternated between kissing your lips and your neck, and you found yourself leaning into his every touch as pleasure started to coil inside you.

Your legs tightened around his waist, keeping him close, never wanting to let him go. And when you came it was with four little words.

"I love you too."

#500 follower celebration yay #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #billy russo imagine

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angelltheninth · 4 months ago

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A Touch Too Gentle

Pairing: King Valkyrie x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, sparing injury, flirting, kisses, rivals to lovers, a lot of tension

Word count: 0.8k

Ao3

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: I need her to come back. I miss her, my pretty wife, I miss her a lot.

You groaned, clenching at your side as Brunhilde smugly walked you to her bedroom. "Where the hell are you taking me?" You looked up at her, slightly dizzy from you probably very bruised ribs. "Better be actual hell after this."

"My bedroom actually. As much fun as it would be to you wail in pain and defeat I actually have some decency as a warrior." That might be but her cheerful tone of voice did little to mask how smug she felt about getting a drop on you. "Isn't it about time you gave up on trying to defeat me? You have a pretty face, I hate seeing it get hurt, and even more that it's me doing so."

You rolled your eyes at her feeble attempt at flattery. Brunhilde seemed to be rather fond of catching you off guard with these compliments, its how this injury happened in the first place. Curse her and her pretty eyes and... kissable mouth.

"Fuck you." You push through the big door, untangling yourself from her arms and scanning the room for weapons, of which there were plenty. As expected from a King and a Valkyrie.

"Right now? I don't know, you don't seem to be in the shape for it sweetheart." She closed the door behind her, didn't lock it, after all you were still enemies and she'd hate for you to feel trapped here. "Take off your clothes."

"Wh-what?!" Suddenly any plan you had of destroying her was thrown out the window, "Why would I do that? You..." A painful wince passed across your face when you crossed your arms over yourself.

"To take a better look at your injuries. I won't touch too much. Besides we've been fighting for a while, I've already had my handfuls of you." Her wink didn't help any in getting you to relax, in fact in only made you more weary of her approaching you.

"Is fighting and fucking the same to you?" Somehow you suspected you knew what she'd say.

Brunhilde shrugged with indifference, "The both start with an F and they leave me feeling good. So yeah, kinda." Unbelievable. And this was your number one opponent? Maybe you were the sorry one after all, "If it hurts I can help."

"No! No, no, you look away, I'll take care of myself." Or you could just ambush her when she turned her back. That was also an option that started to appeal to you more and more.

"Take care of yourself while I'm not looking? People usually ask me to look. Out of respect for our long rivalry, I'll do what you want." She raised her hands up where could see them and turned her back to you. Her too damn sexy, muscular back. The whole time you were taking off your shirt and armor you couldn't stop staring at her. Only to be caught doing it, "Telling me not to look, yet here you are, looking. I'd call you a bad girl but, I think that's what you secretly want."

There she goes again, flirting so shamelessly with you. You hated it, yet it made your heart flutter and momentarily forget the pain you were in. Until she approached and pressed her fingers against your bruised rib, "When I imagined the two of us in my bedroom this really isn't what I had in mind." Her eyes shining with barely hidden meaning, making you weak in the knees, making you sit down on the edge of the bed, "I would love to take my time with you, see what different noises you'd make for me." By some invisible force you actually followed her hand as she pressed her thumb over your lips and pulled away, "I think you'd like it too. We don't have to hurt each other you know, we could settle this ways equally as fun but less painful. Unless that's something you're into."

Your bottom lip trembled before you pulled it between your teeth. She must be cheating somehow, to have this much power over you in here, while out there you wanted to tear her apart, "Shut up. Just get me fixed up so I can leave."

"Is that what you want?" No. It wasn't. Not anymore.

"Yeah." This was fine. As soon as you saw her on the battlefield again you were sure these strange, warm, all-consuming feelings would vanish. You just needed to stick this out. To let Brunhilde touch you with care, with careful caresses that made you want to melt into her.

"You're a bad liar sweetheart, very bad." Warm lips pressed on the corner of your own, shocking you, almost making you scoot away if it weren't for that feeling at the pit of your stomach telling you to stay, "Lucky you I like bad girls."

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