#i'm just so fucking tired of being a failure
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deadtower · 1 year ago
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i’m just so tired. and hurt. and upset. and it wasn’t even my fault this time
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bandsandwristbands · 2 months ago
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Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
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lucyvaleheart · 6 months ago
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fridayyy-13th · 5 months ago
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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medicinemane · 8 months ago
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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spadefish · 1 year ago
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on the one hand i could go get a stupid corporate job and actually make enough money to live. then i could close my commission tiers on patreon and just worry about finishing my queue forever. but then also i wouldn't be able to go see my friends and family out of state because corporate jobs don't like to give you time off. aauuggghhh i wish my arm would just Magically Heal so i could just be good at my stupid art job
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crumblingspine · 1 year ago
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I typed all this in the tags so sorry for the novel I wrote lol.
No, pineapple pizza isn’t on here. It gets too much publicity and I’m bored of it. Pick one of the other ones. (If it’s more than one thing or something else feel free to put in tags)
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saucerfulofsins · 21 days ago
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featherymainffins · 10 months ago
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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serpentine-sweetheart · 1 year ago
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I'm sick of living like this but it's all I've ever known so I'm not really sure how to fix it.
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thingswhatareawesome · 1 year ago
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#sorry i'm feeling mentally shitty tonight#think it's hormone fuckery combining with a medication i'm on#and that feeling of being a failure at making friends with someone#and someone on masto jumped on a convo ppl were having about something that was a huge love of mine when i was younger and shat on it#and if that isn't the story of my life that things i really liked/like just get smacked down or sneered at or considered freakish#which yay really kills the enthusiasm for everything#and i'm still missing the sr fandom content on twitter bc there's still so much less here and outright next to nothing about caelus#ie my favorite so i miss those 'daily character' twitters like damn the only 'daily caelus' thing here is on hiatus#bc they're not bothering if there's not new content LIKE WHY NOT FANART THEN oh right bc there's no caelus fanart out there#i love the characters of sr don't get me wrong but i hate they all overshadow the mc#oh except stelle like stelle players love her but caelus players ??? idk what love other characters more i guess#i kinda wish we'd get to the storyline where caelus/mc mattered again bc it's starting to feel like it's been a damned long time#don't get me wrong i love dh and dhil but remember the end of jIV? when we the player were FUCKING AWESOME?#haven't felt like the game's remembered that in awhile#also i'm bitter the weather is shit we're 4 days from october and looking at 6 days in the 80s but also this weekend? two days AT 90#what the everliving fuck other than yeah the world is burning and frying and we're stuck in august and i'm GETTING NO FUCKING FALL#all i look forward to all fucking year is autumn and nope all we're getting is summer nothing but summer#if i have to live in summer forever frankly i'd rather be dead thanks.#just fucking tired of it all rn
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lucyvaleheart · 8 months ago
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sigilcatt · 6 months ago
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your recent seb fic was so cute!! could i request some general sebastian dating headcanons :3?
☆ Sebastian dating hcs ☆
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• The fact that you managed to get him as a boyfriend is a win in itself.
• I mean, at first you figured Sebastian hated you, considering the way he would constantly taunt you for your errors, blaming any failure on your incompetence followed by a snarky remark.
"I'm sure the door with breathing behind it is completely safe to open...Urbanshade must be very lucky they have you."
• But despite this, one thing lead to another aaaand now you're dating a 10ft sea monster! Lucky you!
• How did he even fall for you? His guess is as good as yours.
• He lets you stay in his shop as long as you'd like. Tired? Use his tail as a pillow and he'll gently wrap it around you, as if trying to shield you from the creatures outside.
• sometimes you don't even realize you've fallen asleep on him until you wake up to him glossing over a file before smiling down at you. "Sleep well?"
• He'll listen to you rant about whatevers on your mind, a few "Mhm"s and "Really now?"s being his only responses. It's not that he isn't listening, he just finds your rambling endearing and prefers to watch your face practically glow when talking about your interests.
• Petnames aren't too special- He'll randomly throw a "Hun" or "Sweetheart" your way when conversing. I dunno, he just seems like the type to prefer those.
• Prepare to be picked up and placed on his shoulder at least once when around him. He hardly ever gets to be eye-level with you due to the significant height difference, so randomly snatching you up without warning is his best way of doing so.
• He tries to be as gentle as possible, knowing his claws could easily hurt you. Sometimes he'll run a single claw softly down your back. Or maybe he'll use it as a gentle hook to pull you close to him.
• Don't expect the constant teasing and banter to end so soon-in fact, now that you're dating, it seems to have only intensified. But thats a mutual thing between the two of you.
"Give me that flashlight, I need it."
"Ask nicely, then maybe I will."
"Fuck you."
• Blind him with that flashlight of yours if he gets on your nerves, that usually shuts him up.
• But he does secretly get concerned when you leave the shop. He doesn't enjoy the lingering possibility that you could get hurt.
• He might even use a few excuses to get you to stay longer.
"You don't have to work yourself so hard, y'know."
"That crystal isn't going anywhere, why are you rushing?"
"Take your time, hun."
• If you do return to him looking insanely beat up and in desperate need of a medkit, he'll scold you out of concern.
• He can be a huge flirt, loving the reactions he can fish (ha, fish get it?? I'll shut up now.) out of you.
• More about that height difference, since I love that way too much:
• Sometimes you'll find that one particular item you need just out of reach so that you have to ask Sebastian for help.
• It's possible to get him a little flustered, too! Call him pretty/handsome/whatever, that'll do it.
"Yeah, yeah, you're cute. Quit looking at me like that."
• Overall perfect partner.
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I'm sooo normal about him. Hahahah lollll *twirls hair* I'm so normal about this guy
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anundyingfidelity · 7 months ago
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DO YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH? — Billy Butcher
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Summary: Butcher gives orders for you to stay back from the fight. You hardly comply and prove differently; he starts thinking in a very improper manner about you.
Pairing: Billy Butcher x female!supe reader.
Word count: 2k.
Warnings: smut!! hate sex, unprotected sex, fingering, enemies to fuck buddies, reader can control blood and explode shit (like Victoria Neuman lol), the usual mentions of violence.
Notes: this is a request made by @thatcharmingmushroom for my 400 followers drabbles celebration. I'm sorry I took soooo damn long on this, but I hope you like it and thank you so much for the idea because I had so much fun with it! I picked the Herogasm episode for this tho hehe
�� if you like my writing support me with a ko-fi !
GEN MASTERLIST!
taglist is here!
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On the hunt for Payback, you made your way to infiltrate Herogasm along with Butcher, Hughie and the new asshole, Soldier Boy, not caring that the British dick ordered you a thousand times to stay back.
For different reasons, you were kind of forced to stay with the team, and while you didn’t really get along with any of them, Butcher was by far the one you hated the most. And, in the end, when Soldier Boy burned the whole place to the ground with a blast and Homelander arrived, you couldn’t stand there doing nothing. While the three men tried to hold down Homelander, you used your blood to create strong whips around his limbs, trying to tie him to the ground as Soldier Boy prepared to blast, yet again.
But just in seconds, Homelander recharged himself and pushed them all aside, cutting your whips, and flashing you quickly with his heat vision before storming out. Your blood blades barely made it to the hole he left in the roof as the supe just disappeared, flying away like a scared bitch.
“Well,” you started after an instant of staying silent. “I guess we fucking failed.”
Butcher shot you a dark glare as he walked straight until he stopped in front of you. “You shouldn’t be here,” he whispered.
You held his eyes as he towered you with his broad figure. He looked even more intimidating now he started playing the supe, injecting himself with Compund V. “I don’t care.”
There was this smug smirk on his face as you talked back. You knew he hated you; you knew you hated him. But as fucking weird your powers were, controling blood and exploding people with their own, Butcher found you interesting and stupidly astonishing. But of course, he wasn’t going to admit it. They were just intrusive thoughts about you and how hot you were, defying his direct orders of strictly not coming to the supe-orgy. Yeah, Homelander was a fucking cunt, and he would take care of Soldier Boy soon too. Right now, he just needed something to take the stress out after another stupid failure. His hand would work later once back at the motel, he decided.
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Butcher leaned down, until his lips almost brushed the shell of your ear. “We’ll see about that.”
“Why do I have to keep listening to you?” you asked as Butcher followed back to the motel.
You stopped right out of your door, because of course you weren’t going to share a room with him and the old asshole. Hughie, who went inside their room, was the only decent human being between all of them, but still, you had to take care of yourself from those fuckers. Besides, the British idiot wouldn’t stop the verbal vomiting the whole fucking trip and you were growing sick of it.
“Because, for starters, you’re a fucking newbie here,” Butcher replied, smirking hatefully. “And second, your powers are fucking out of control. You need training and keep your mouth shut.”
You rolled your eyes, showing him your wrists. “I already healed myself from the cuts I made. Perhaps I should use your blood next time?”
“No, there’s no next time for you.”
“You don’t decide that, Butcher,” you crossed your arms over your chest, tired of being treated like a stupid kid. “I’m helping on this, I want him dead. And if any of you idiots don’t kill him, then I will.”
He curved an eyebrow, not showing any signs of being taken aback at your words, but inside, he was just in awe as before. You really hated Homelander as much as he did, however, you didn’t have a fucking plan. You would attack first, ask questions later. In any way, since when could he care about that? He had no idea.
“Hey,” Soldier Boy talked behind Butcher and stepped in closer between both of you. “You fucking stay back from this, you ain’t doing shit with your blood whips.”
Furious, you motioned your hand to draw fresh blood from a wound on his cheek and created a sharp blade, cutting his skin lightly. Soldier Boy clenched his jaw before smirking at you.
“Talk to me like that ever again and I’ll blow your dick, and not the way you like it,” you warned through your teeth.
Soldier Boy wiped the blood off the fresh wound, and smiled anew before patting Butcher on the shoulder. “She’s all yours, pal.”
With that, the old supe disappeared in the next room. You just wanted this to be over, so you turned around to get inside your room, but Butcher wouldn’t leave you alone just yet, putting his foot between the door and the frame, holding it with his super strength.
“What the fuck you want now?!” you yelled at him as he made his way inside, slamming the door closed.
“Imma have to call the fucking CIA if you don’t calm down your ass,” he threatened between his teeth.
“You wouldn’t-”
“I can, and I fucking will,” he insisted, taking slow strides, making you step back from him until your back met the wall.
His eyes were getting dangerously dark and you could smell the sweat and dry blood coming from him. You noticed his pulse was increasing, and you grinned. Your mind jumped to an unsafe place where you probably knew what Butcher was feeling right now. The heat and coming down the high of what could have been the end of both yours and his enemy was too much to burden. Little did he know that you were the kind of person that used to take out the stress with something, or someone. Just like him.
“From one to ten, how much do you hate me?” you asked all of the sudden, looking straight into his eyes.
Butcher’s fierceful gaze turned into confusion. “What?”
“How fucking much do you hate me?” you repeated yourself steadier.
Butcher rolled his eyes before answering in a whisper. “I’d choose a one thousand scale for that.”
“Good, I hate you too,” you replied with a smirk before pulling him for a kiss that turned heated too fast, but you didn’t care.
You needed release. Something quick, hard and hot to take it out of your system. He was perfect for the task, and by the way his tongue tasted your mouth, you found out that he wouldn’t step back. At least you hoped so. The tension between both of you was so damn sharp and it was just a matter of time for that bomb to explode, and you preferred it this way instead of fighting each other to death.
Gripping the neck of his shirt to get even closer as you kissed, Butcher’s hands roamed all over your hips, running on your sides until he met the flesh of your ass on your jeans, pressing you towards his chest. You gasped against his mouth when he started to unzip your pants, you worked immediately on the buttons of his shirt. Desperately, you discharged his shirt, the fabric being followed to his pants, and he undressed you with the same eagerness until you were only panties and bra.
Butcher lifted you up from the ground, hands on your thighs as he guided you to the mattress. He crawled on top of you, spreading your legs with his big, rough hands and leaning down to lick down at your chest and rip your bra off. His action made you gasp out loud at the same time he sucked on a nipple like a starved man.
“You're a fucking beast,” you whimpered, feeling his hands peeling off your panties and leaving you completely exposed at his mercy.
You tugged at his jeans and he pulled them down along with his boxers as quickly as he could, taking out his dick with that smug smile on his stupid face. He noticed your eyes taking the sight of his half nakedness, biting your lip slightly once you focused on his hard cock pressing on your crotch. It only made you wet.
“Well, I plan to fuck you like one,” he said, grabbing the back of your legs and rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet folds.
“Show me, don’t talk- fuck!”
You let out a rather loud moan when he rubbed your clit with his fingers, playing with your entrance until he inserted a single, thick digit in your pussy. Butcher stretched you out with a finger, then slid a second one, scissoring them to reach your deepest spots as your walls clenched around his digits. You kept whimpering and moaning as he increased the thrusts of his hand.
“Bloody fuck, these are the only sounds I like coming from your mouth, luv,” he hissed, sensing that you almost came on his fingers.
Right before you reached your high, he pulled out and you groaned in annoyance, feeling empty once again.
“Shit,” you breathed out.
He positioned between your legs anew, getting comfortable as he started to push his tip against your slit. The grip of his hands on your thighs became a little harsh once he entered you slowly, the thickness of his cock splitting you open.
“What a tight cunt I always knew you’d be,” he grunted, filling you up completely and leaning down to mark your neck with his teeth.
His mouth and thrusts earned him your sweet moans as he fucked you senseless. The burning soon turned into pleasure. Your nails scratched his back while moaning incoherent words. His hands on your thighs would leave marks on your skin, but it felt so damn good. You needed a little bit of pain to remind you that you were alive, rotting for that sweet bliss only sex could give you.
Moans escaped from your throat and mingled with his deep groans and the sound of your skin against his own, the headboard of the bed hitting the wall with every of his hard thrusts. You pulled him down for a wet kiss when you felt closer and closer to come undone.
“Fuck, I’m so close,” you gasped.
Butcher increased the rhythm of his thrusts, his cock throbbing as your walls started to clench around him.
“You’ll be the death of me,” he mumbled against your mouth.
“Do you still hate me?” you asked, trying to catch your breath. You reached down to rub your clit. You were so close, almost there.
“If I keep fucking you like this then I might change my mind- holy fuck!”
In that moment, you came hard with a string of curses and clenching your walls around his cock. The pound of his hips increased and he fucked you through your orgasm to reach his own. You continued rubbing your clit, fingers finding the place where you two connected, meeting his cock coated with your juices when he pulled out just slightly to slam back inside again.
Butcher emptied his cum inside you, mumbling dirty words against your ear. His rhythm slowing down eventually, fucking his seed in your pussy. Once he came down from his high, he pulled out and rolled by your side on the bed. Your body started to ache but in the best way possible. It was the best fuck you had in a long time. After a couple of minutes in complete silence you decided to talk, eyes fixed on the ceiling.
“I hope you keep hating on me…”
He turned slightly to see your blank face. “Why?”
“I love hate-fucking.”
He scoffed with a smile curving on his lips. “You bet I enjoyed this too.”
Within a second, you climbed on top of him. Thighs straddling his lap as you rubbed your cunt on his soft cock.
“Second round? You can eat me out and suck your cum out of me,” you gave him a wink, rolling your hips and leaning down for a quick kiss.
“Dirty girl,” Butcher whispered on your lips. “Perhaps put your mouth into good use.”
“I like how that sounds,” you smiled back at him.
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Billy Butcher taglist
@delaynew
@thesilmarillionblog
@feyresqueen
@drasticemotions
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dalekofchaos · 6 months ago
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Doctor Doom gets ruined AND WHITEWASHED AGAIN!
4 attempts to get Doctor Doom right
4
And we STILL can’t get this right
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A master of magic and science. A man who rivals Doctor Strange and Reed Richards as the most powerful sorcerer and the smartest man alive. He rules an entire country with an army of Doombots. Considered to be one of the greatest Marvel villains. And they still can't get him right. They have to make him a fucking Tony Stark variant. Tony Stark is not Victor Von Doom and Doom is above Tony Stark.
Victor wearing the mask always is integral to his appeal and aura like Vader's mask. It not only hides his vain scars he caused due to his failures, but it closes him off from humanity and makes him believe he’s beyond it.
As far as I'm concerned Marvel Ultimate Alliance and EMH are the only good adaptations of Doom
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Doctor Doom being a romani man with a background CENTERING his family's racial persecution. with his ethnicity at the forefront of his motivations and his tragedy. and they really just brought back Robert Downey Jr.
Being romani is INTEGRAL to doom’s character and without that he’s not doom. he NEEDS to be romani and played by a romani character. full stop, don't believe me? Read Book Of Dooms.
Since 1964 Victor von Doom has been established as a Romani character. His childhood was filled with antiziganism and his parents deaths were caused by it. This later led him to become Doctor Doom and overthrow the Latverian government to protect his people
I am so fucking sick and tired of this whitewashing bullshit and the ethnoerasure of Marvel characters.
The Maximoff Twins, The Ancient One, Moon Knight and now fucking Doom.
God fucking forbid an actual Romani actor PLAYS A ROMANI CHARACTER.
But no they pulled another fucking multiverse shit all so RDJ could return and it all feels like blackface from Tropic Thunder
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I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT ANTHONY STARK FROM EARTH-11029 OR INFAMOUS IRON MAN
If you wanted evil Iron Man so fucking bad, why didn't you just do Superior Iron Man?
The LAZIEST, DUMBEST, most CONTRIVED BULLSHIT casting ever, Marvel continues to not beat the whitewashing allegations. Doctor Doom deserved better.
Romani actor Charlie Clapman was right fucking there AND HE ENDORSED IT!
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I'd even suggest Romani actor Óscar Jaenada as Doom. Again another Roma actor who's actively interested in playing Doom
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And you know what? As bad as the 1994 movie was, Joseph Culp the first actor to play Doom in the Fantastic Four (1994) movie by Oley Sassone & Richard Corman. Culp was also white but he very clearly cared for the comics background of Victor von Doom
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and you also know damn well they're going to erase everything about Magneto too that makes him who he is… which is his entire fucking background. how horrible of a person do you have to be to repeatedly disrespect the minorities who created these stories?
Doctor Doom is Roma Romani. He is not white. The MCU loves to whitewash its Roma and Jewish characters and it’s time we called them out for it. Dr Doom is not a white man, he is Roma!
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They will never nail down the complexity of Victor Von Doom
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Every year Doom goes to hell to fight Mephisto to rescue the soul of his mother. He finally won her soul with the help of Doctor Strange only for her to reject him.
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No evil Stark replicant will ever fucking match the complexity of Victor Von Doom.
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I don't care if this is a one time thing for RDJ. They specifically chose to do this when the fans were begging for a fucking Romani actor. It also doesn't fucking help that Marvel has erased nearly EVERY fucking ethnic character has been whitewashed.
Scarlet Witch & Quicksilver: Erased Romani heritage and whitewashed. Moon Knight & Wiccan: Casted non-Jewish actors. Sabra: Featured in anything at all, and actress is an IDF soldier to make matters worse.
The MCU is full of ethnic erasure, military propaganda & racism. it’s disgusting this is continuing with Dr Doom’s casting. remember to continue to boycott marvel, because of the genocide they support by casting an iof solider to play a character from the zionist terrorist occupation
Dr Doom is one of those villains that it should be IMPOSSIBLE to fuck up but wasting him on a cheap Iron Man nostalgia casting pop might be the way
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tashid4 · 4 months ago
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MORE ENDEAVORS DAUGHTER X HAWKS PLEASEEE 😣😣🙏
Made a long version hope you like it ��🙏
Your father was the worst man alive. He was a terrible man, a terrible husband and a terrible father...He never treated his kids equally. All of them were failure in his eyes. Nothing you could do was enought for him. You spent your whole life trying to get his attention. Being a perfect little girl. No mistake. It wasn't part of the vocabulary of your family. As the now number 1 hero, Endeavor made sure his children were faultless.
But you were tired of playing this role. You weren't perfect and you definitely weren't a little girl anymore. You were 19. You wanted to feel powerful, confident and sexy...
The only time you felt this way was a a few months ago. Your dad was coming back from a mission out of town and your older sister insisted on inviting his partner. The one that help him. The number 2 hero. Hawks. He was sitting in front of you, at the other side of the table. He wasn't really talkative, he was only looking at you. Looking at everyone actually. Probably analyzing everything that was going on. But it felt like he was particularly looking at you. You felt his gaze pierce you. Deep inside you. His fine brown eyes exploring your face. When he was looking at you like this, you didn't felt like your daddy's daughter. You were a woman. A pretty and confident one. When he left you were a bit disapointed, you secretly hope he would sneak into your room late at night and passionately make love to you.
But of course it didn't happened. He just left, thanking your sister for the dinner and shaking your brother's hand. You had trouble sleeping after this, every time you close your eyes, his eyes appear in front of you. Intense and hungry.
After that day, it was a long time before you saw him again. A coincidence meant that you had to file papers with his agency. Paperwork your father didn't want to deal with so he sent you instead. Even if you were going to his hero agency you thought there was little chance of you meeting him. As the number 2 hero he probably wasn't wasting his time in an office. How surprised you were when you enter the room and saw him sitting at the desk, his legs resting on the table. He was particularly intimitating and attractive like this...
"I- i have uhm...papers...for you" he was quite amused by your troubled look, an inconspicuous smile on his face. "Just leave it here, i'll take a look later" Obeying him, you moved closer to the desk, still nervous. He was so fucking attractive, without even trying. You started to wish he was your boss, only to see him like see every day, sitting at his desk with a serious look. Once you putted down the papers in front of him, you looked up to see his eyes on you detailing every inch of your skin. Again, you loved it. You loved how he made you feel with just a look. It made you feel confident and empowered. You were tired of being perfect all the times, you wanted so bad to go against the rules.
That is why a surge of confidence passed through you. You sit on his desk and fix your gaze in his. "Actually, I wanted to ask you someting else..." A honeyed and sensual tone has replaced your shaking voice now. You wanted to capture his attention, you wanted him and you were gonna get him. "What do you want to ask me pretty girl ?". The nickname almost made you collapse, not helping the attraction you feel towards him. You wanted nothing more than to beg him to take you right now on this desk, but you had other plans in mind. Your fingers began to unbutton the silk blouse you were wearing. Slowly unhooking the buttons one by one, until revealing him a glimpse of your bra.
"I was wondering if you could sign me an autograph - I'm a huuuge fan." His lips turned into a smirk when he heard your request. He immediately grabbed a pen and a paper. "Of course pret-","No" You grabbed his wrist to stop him. "Not here" You guided his hand, the one holding the pen to your bare chest. "Here."
His smile was wide now that he had understood what you wanted. He did not hesitate long before signing his name on your chest. Taking his time, tracing each letters and focusing on your most sensitive areas. You looked so beautiful with his hero name marked on your body. He wish he could take a picture of you right now to let the whole world see it. "So beautiful like this"
The urge to be closer to him took over you. You physically needed to touch him now. He understands it pretty easily because in no time you were sitting on his desk with your legs spread, him between them holding your waist. When he kissed you, it was fiery and passionate. It had nothing to do with the few boys you kissed during your high school years. It was so much better and enjoyable. You wanted him - always more.
"What would your daddy think about this baby ? If he saw his perfect little girl half naked in my office?" You ignored his words way too excited and hurried to take off his clothes. You started by throwing his jacket at the other side of the room before ripping of his t-shirt and unzipping his pants. In paralled he also made what was left of your blouse disappear and pull up your skirt up to your waist. "I want you" You managed to whisper in his ear between two sloppy kisses. "Daddy didn't want your love so you came to me?" His lips went from your mouth to your neck, sucking and licking at your sensitive skin. "I'll give you all the love you deserve pretty girl".
You were suddenly surprised by the feeling of one of his finger on your clothed cunt. He was carressing it while marking your neck. Little moans left your mouth, the feeling being too good to remain quiet. He drove you crazy when he finally pulled you panties to the side and shoved a finger inside your tight pussy. "Fuck you're so tight feel like a fucking virgin" How were you supposed to tell him that you actually were ? You never dared to do more than just kiss a boy, it was against your father's rules. If he knew you had relationships with boys he would have been furious. That's why you never took the step. "Maybe cause I am... - of fuck don't stop" His fingers worked magic inside you. He was touching every spot that made you wet. At this point you were probably wetting all his important papers but he couldn't care less when you were looking so pretty under his touch. The way your eyes roll and you bit your lips made him so hard it was almost painfull. He wanted to be inside you so bad. But not today. He was going to take his time with you...
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