#i'm just putting in some effort to editing first drafts for later

[mimicteruyo]

While editing: Hmm I’ve already used that somewhat unlikely plot device in another fic draft so I’d better change it into something more realistic.

Later: ...yeah, because realism is so important in an abstract fever dream COME ON MIMIC

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

BIG OL HECKIN EDIT:

I am a dum dum who forgot how to spell @sassenach-on-the-rocks amid my existential terror and dread of the deleted-draft incident mentioned below, and then did a Dum Dum no Double-Down by forgetting to update until now. This headcanon is their brainchild and they deserve all the credit for it.

You may now continue with your previously intended brainrot viewing.

I'm VERY INCREDIBLY MIFFED, MY GUYS.

I had this entire post finished and almost completely formatted and saved it as a draft to finish formatting it on my computer

And it DIDN'T SAVE. And I nearly SCREEEEEMED.

It was for an ask request and I also can't seem to tag the person that sent the ask.

I am A N G E R Y

But after several deep breaths and reminding myself that violence is not the answer, here we are.

At any rate. The ask request was for headcanons involving One Piece boyos taking reader to a Masquerade ball.

To the asker, should you still be around to see it, I really really loved this and thank you so, so much for it ❤️❤️ I really enjoyed finding masks to match their aesthetics.

Only deviation I made was Zoro; you meet him there rather than going with him. It just felt right that way for some reason.

And awaaaaaaaay we go~

The Masquerade

Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy x Reader

SFW Headcanons

This was really so fun and cute and I thank Asker so so much for this.

♫♬Little By Little — The Fratellis♬♫

You wear your mask, I'll wear mine, they don't come cheap but they fit just fine

You can be her and I can be him, and we can both sink while the rest all swim

Sanji

He heard about it when you made port, and there's no way he's not taking you.

He's been looking for an opportunity to take you on the perfect first date, and this is it.

Perfect opportunity for the two of you to get away from the crew for and have a little alone time.

A little dancing, a little wine, a little champagne—it's perfect.

Makes sure not to tell anyone else, if Luffy hears there's free food he'll insist on going and the whole thing will no doubt end in chaos.

He doesn't even tell you—all he tells you, after presenting you with a brand new dress and jewelry (which most likely cost him every last berry in his wallet), is that he would like to take you out for the evening.

And how could you turn him down?

"Come on, love. I promise it will be the best evening you've ever had."

The effort he's already put in, those puppy-dog eyes....

You spend the evening dancing, talking, enjoying the free food, every ounce of his attention on you the entire time as he ensures that you feel like a princess.

Making sure that everyone has their eyes on the pair of you on the dance floor, that they know you're there with him.

Somehow ending up chit-chatting with the catering staff toward the end of the night and being invited to their far less formal after-party.

Stumbling back to the Merry hours later together, half-drunk and giggling and positive that it's the best night you've ever had.

Zoro

"What the hell...?"

He got lost and wandered in.

No idea what's going on, why are all these people wearing masks and dancing?? What exactly is going on this is weird as—

Oh hey there's an open bar, cool.

You recognize him from his bounty poster fairly quickly. There are a lot of marines here, and he really isn’t causing any problems, but he's getting a lot of strange looks...so you decide to do the guy a favor and shove a mask in his hands.

He looks at you like you're speaking another language as you explain where he is and convince him to just put on the damned mask already.

"A ball? I thought this was some kind of weird cult or something."

You just stare at him in disbelief—he thought it was a cult and he's just standing around enjoying the free drinks. 

What.

You brush it off and tell him if he wants to fit in, then dancing is probably a good idea.

He's frowning at you again.

"Yeah, I don't really...do that."

You roll your eyes—there are still people eyeing him suspiciously, you have to do something, so when he finishes his next drink you just grab him by the wrist and drag him out to the dance floor.

Cue impromptu ballroom dancing lessons. He keeps stepping on your feet and mumbling apologies, but it's kind of cute how hard he's trying.

You really can't help but giggle at his explanation that he just got lost and wandered in here.

But you're glad he did—you doubt you would have had nearly as much fun otherwise.

Shanks

Heard about the whole shin-dig while in port.

"Hey that sounds like fun, we should crash it."

You try to be stern, but he pulls out the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh come on please?"

God dammit....

And maybe an hour later you're both making masks.

There's glitter and glue and feathers all over the captain's cabin and you're already dreading cleaning it up.

His has a giant gaudy pirate hat. Because of course it has a giant gaudy pirate hat. He's so proud of it, grinning like a little kid in an arts and crafts class when he holds it up to show you, that you can't even bring yourself to admonish him for it.

And of course the whole thing is invitation-only, and of course he manages to sweet-talk his way in anyway.

Just having such a good time, really doesn't care if anyone recognizes him.

Really doesn't care, just drinking and making small talk and joking with several lower-ranking Marines in attendance who are clearly very nervous.

Within an hour, while you're in the middle of dancing and deciding that maybe this wasn't *such* a bad idea, an announcement is made for everyone to leave immediately.

Judging by the sheer number of Marines outside there's no doubt as to why.

He just gives you a guilty grin before picking you up over his shoulder and bolting back to the ship.

Mihawk

Actually received an invitation, just rolled his eyes and tossed it in the trash.

You dig it out and pout about it until he rolls his eyes and gives in.

"Fine. No more than an hour."

At lease there will be free wine.

Unsurprisingly spends a great deal of time standing in a corner and sipping said wine while staring around haughtily at the other partygoers.

Would much rather be drinking wine back in his secluded castle and not having to deal with other humans.

Spends the vast majority of the evening standing in a corner and nursing a glass of wine while glaring around haughtily at the other guests, daring them to even think of attempting to make small-talk with him.

Doesn't move from his designated corner until he sees other guests daring to flirt with you, at which point he promptly saunters over to pull you to the dance floor and ensure everyone is well aware that you're there with him.

Lightens up a little after that (which may or may not have something to do with the several glasses of wine he's already consumed), but absolutely will not admit that it actually turned out to be a rather nice evening.

He will, however, hold this over your head and remind you that you owe him.

But you know the truth, considering he's a little more willing to attend such events with you after this.

Buggy

Oh what now? An excuse to be absolutely flamboyant and unhinged in public?

You're going. Period. There will no arguments.

He's already got a collection of masks and costumes anyway, this is going to be a blast.

You lose track of him shortly after you get there. You're pretty sure that the explosion that went off toward the back corner of the dance floor had something to do with him.

He finds you while you're sipping a glass of champagne in downright annoyance and proudly informs you that he's made bank going through pockets at the coat check while everyone was distracted by his little diversion.

"Ah, don't worry, babe, they won't notice. They're too busy schmoozing and kissing ass."

Standing around making small-talk with other guests in the most ridiculous put-on aristocratic accent he can possibly muster, introducing you variably as some foreign dignitary or princess from a far off land.

Literally can't take this idiot anywhere.

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake final episode BTS were released, and I really don't want to let this story go x) But I loved watching cast play around and tease each other. And in this particular video, everyone went really heavily on flirteasing and especially... on joking about Myungha's drowning scene x))

(tw suicide for following translations)

We saw on IG that Joowan (Yeowoon) and Minsoo (Sangwon) were playing and throwing flip stones on a beach. While fans joked Taevin (Myungha) would get jealous, he actually was watching them from behind xD He was preparing for diving, and those two played around.

PD: It's the day of Myungha submerging, any words? J,M: *said they were gonna go home but since they were worried for him so they stayed.* PD: But I saw you having a lot of fun throwing stones right now? J: Well, if the atmosphere is happy and playful, Myungha will have a hard time dying:D

Then they came back to Taevin.

T: You two are having so much fun playing with stones... M: We laid down stones so you would die a little bit later~^^ J: It's too sad I really won't be able to live! Т__Т

And then Myungha went into the water, and after the first take everyone shouted that it was perfect (for real! it looked so good! woah!) I think it means they got this long difficult and emotionally heavy shot on their first try? Taevin, you should really keep being an actor!

Taevin arrived to the underwater filming set.

T: It looks fun! Woah, it's deeper than I thought so I'm a bit nervous. Today is the day when Myungha dies... I'll do my best dying!^^ (/I'll be diligently dying!)

After practicing swimming, rehearsing and dressing up:

PD: Say something before you go? T: Let's die well! Fighting! (i can't with his excitement for emotional scenes lmao)

My comments: Woah, Taevin actually is such a pro at swimming! Especially lowering yourself in the water, I wonder if the water for such shoots have some special addition to make sinking easier.

Anyway, there were cute scenes as well and I'm annoyed I can't understand 100% Korean because it's too noisy or quiet and I wish I knew what their banter was about. But Taevin just casually joking and then easily crushing his suicide scenes while the viewers were all emotionally suffering for days... I can't with him xD

Btw, guys, I also started writing notes while I was watching their livestreams, does anyone need brief translation summaries of LFLS lives? There are edited videos on youtube that put together well the funniest moments so idk whether anyone needs other casual comments but I have them partially in my drafts. But it'll take a lot of effort to finish %)

Or let me know if you want me to translate some other moment from BTS (I'm not really good with translating by ear yet but I can try my best, at least these videos have Korean subtitles xD)

[vidreview]

some thoughts on Action Button Reviews

[originally posted december 22nd 2023]

ANONYMOUS ASK: Not a recommendation because I know you've already seen it, but I remember you (this being like a year ago) calling Tim Rogers' action button reviews boku no natsuyasami something along the lines of "a triumphant demonstration of what's possible in the video essay medium". I was wondering if you could elaborate, provided it hasn't been too long. I recognise I'm blasting you from the past here lol. It was one of the few hours-long video essays that I didn't mind sitting through, though I'm still not sure it quite justifies its length. Tim's delivery helps significantly there, in a way that reminds me of Caleb Gamman's casual/improvised-feeling but thoroughly scripted shtick.

oh i still think Tim Rogers is hands down the best in the biz. i've watched the Action Button reviews multiple times, i've got a davinci resolve project with all his videos in, studied them under a microscope and taken lots of notes. i think his work absolutely does justify the length, because rather than trying to say Everything There Is To Say about a game, he instead focuses on digging into the game's relationship with his own hyperspecific subjectivity. i don't know how else to describe the Action Button reviews except as literary media criticism, using incredibly in-depth analysis as a jumping off point for discussing how these games shape us and the culture, the role they occupy at various stages of our life, and how who we are at any given moment is just as important to our opinion of a game as the game itself. sooner or later i want to do a full-on VIDREV on his stuff, probably in video essay form, but consider this a first draft overview of why i find his work so special.

there's little things. despite the length of his videos, he never fails to get to The Point (his term for the thesis statement) within five minutes of starting the essay proper. he is a talented and quick-witted tour guide, funny and clever and philosophically ponderous all at once. his work is clearly designed to reward multiple viewings, yet never fails to feel complete on a first watch. he writes with a precision of language that'll knock your socks off if you let it, especially if you're willing to go with him on his seemingly non sequitur tangents. but it goes a lot deeper than that.

i just don't think anyone else is putting nearly as much time, effort, and thought into the moment to moment particulate matter of his video essays than Tim Rogers. there are a ton of little mistakes that quite a few essayists make as a result of only doing one or two complete editing passes, or otherwise not sitting down and watching their video start to finish at multiple points in post-production. things like bad audio mixing, cut-off breaths and sounds that ought to be removed, stray frames from footage creating accidental jump cuts, flubbed line deliveries, misaligned overlay elements, sloppy compositing, the list goes on. it's no great sin to make these mistakes, mind-- no one's being commissioned, most essayists aren't professional editors, there's no quality control or review board or institutional best practices. it's the difference between giving the kitchen a quick once over with a rag and getting on your hands and knees to scrub every stain with a toothbrush. most people don't have the time it takes to do the latter, aren't getting paid enough, and the returns on putting the effort in are impossible to measure and therefore, practically speaking, nonexistent.

but as someone who tries to put that kind of work in (not always successfully), i can always tell when another essayist has done the same. longform video essays in aggregate tend to be messy, under-structured, rambling; they often arise out of an essayist's desire to say everything they could possibly say on a subject. not only is this an impossible task, it makes for a pretty dull viewing experience to boot. what i find so impressive about Tim Rogers' work is that despite their length, his videos are relentlessly structured. the attention to fine details in the moment-to-moment edit across the whole runtime is astonishing; that the script itself is so internally integrated never fails to make me furious (with professional envy). he always has a lot to say, not all of which is strictly speaking essential to the analysis, but nothing ever feels so indulgent that it drags the rest of the essay down in my estimation. he often repeats information, but he does so very strategically and in a way that's meant to help the viewer follow a thread from start to finish. i also think his presentation style goes a long way towards hiding how much effort he puts in, how relentlessly curated these things actually are in spite of their length. he's talked extensively about how much he cuts from these videos (most prominently is story 5 from the Cyberpunk 2077 review, which went from over an hour in length at first draft to, eventually, just over a minute), how he watches them back over and over and constantly makes fine adjustments. that work won't be apparent to everyone watching, but it's exceedingly apparent to me.

and then there's the cherry on top of it all, which is the fact that the Action Button reviews are constructed as being part of "seasons" that have a planned thematic throughline. taken as a whole, season 1 is a completely unique work of literary metacritical nonfiction, a series of six reviews (Final Fantasy VII Remake -> The Last of Us -> DOOM -> Pac-Man -> Tokimeki Memorial -> Cyberpunk 2077) that use specific games to talk about trends in game design, trends in gamer culture, the history of games development, all through an astonishingly earnest and open autobiographical document of Tim Rogers' own professional and personal life, which is given particular weight by his astonishing capacity for near perfect recall from early childhood. they are the clear result of a life spent thinking about and writing about and talking about games in between all the rest of his life, neither of which was ever truly separate. i know i'm throwing around a lot of superlatives here, but i really do adore these essays. i think a lot of folks doing longform games reviews try to achieve a sort of technical objectivity, limiting the scope of their analysis to strictly what's in the game (and often only that which involves numbers, leaving any narrative or thematic components to a brief aside at the very end). the Action Button method should fall into that category, and yet Rogers himself uses its technical objectivity as an anchor around which flows an endless and unquantifiable ocean of subjectivity, where game mechanics and thematic elements mix forever. each subsequent review drops a new anchor, and thus begins to compose a map whose purpose is as much a matter of self-reflection as it is pure education or analysis.

but i really do think it's with the first (and so far only) episode of season 2, his review of Boku no Natsuyasumi, that you can really see the cunning of what he's been up to all along. i often find myself thinking about his reflections on returning to Kansas ("it took me back to a place i had never never been"), on why people rewatch movies and replay games ("our memory only records the cold parts"), on the futility of trying to recapture the past ("places don't remember us"), on the screaming terror of our own looming mortality ("meanwhile our shattering animals"). i just know those quotes off the top of my head, man, that's how deep in it i am. the Boku no Natsuyasumi review is a masterpiece, and the ways it breaks from the style and approach of season 1's reviews only strengthens the choices he made in season 1, because suddenly we realize that they were choices. that's the artfulness of this series, in my opinion: it starts as, seemingly, a relatively bog-standard "i'm going to review some video games and make some jokes and tell some stories along the way" type joint, but slowly reveals to you essay by essay just how little of this project was automatic, unconsidered, arbitrary, and that its aims were never so miniscule as "tell you why a video game is good". there are themes running throughout the entire series, repeated phrases and ideas, theories of mind and play that build in the subtext, accruing like memories, subtly building mass until you look back and realize that what seemed like a random selection of topics was, in truth, premeditated with a conspiracist's attention to detail.

and yet despite all this high-minded gobbledygook, these videos are relentlessly watchable and entertaining. i don't always agree with his takes (i was particularly frustrated that his exploration of "every cyberpunk game" omitted the flood of relevant titles that came the indie sphere over the last decade, like Cloudpunk and Read Only Memories), but they're not the kinds of disagreements that would make me sour on his work overall, and anyway the experience is so much more valuable than something as rote and immaterial as an opinion. there's so much more i could say (and inevitably will say, someday), but there you go, that's a rough gloss on what i like about the Action Button reviews.

[carriehobbs]

Hi ^^ I know you mentioned notes you couldn't share for the 13 going on 30 au, but would you perhaps have a different snippet/note/fun fact that you can already share? If not, that's all fine, I'm just being nosy haha

i am constantly torn between wanting to keep my fics secret so that they'll be read fresh once they're done and telling everyone everything about what happens in them lol. i haven't had a lot of time to write recently so i don't have a lot of snippets that i can share right now, but i'm happy to share some non-super-spoilery notes 💕💕💕

the notes come from a scene in chapter 2 that i've been calling The Library Scene (which takes place a bit after things have calmed down and after ub has realized that adult!alina has been replaced by teen!alina). it's all written kind of stream-of-consciousness-style, mostly so that i can remember what i want a scene to feel like or achieve (at least in its first draft) while i'm off writing something else (or taking a break from writing and i will need to get back in it later without forgetting what i was doing and why):

Nate needs to be throwing himself into researching, while Adam and Morgan are on patrols, and Farah is on babysitting duty mostly. There should be the sense that Alina believes that she has slipped away from Farah to have this conversation. [...] Things should be kind of awkward and stilted in this scene – Alina wants Nate’s attention but can’t ask for it, Nate is balancing being kind to this girl who isn’t his girlfriend and wanting to keep researching, trying to find out what is going on. But it’s Nate, so he would try to pay attention to her. Alina should realize how much effort he’s putting in to get his version of her back and not really be able to wrap her head completely around the idea that someone could love her this much. In this scene, Alina should be taken in by Nate’s kindness, compassion, willingness to listen to her. In the previous chapter she was taken by how beautiful he was, but the notes about his physical beauty should be a little more subtle – how he carries himself, his hands, the way he looks at her.

edit: i also found a single line written out in my notes for chapter 4 that made me laugh, so i'll share that too because it has no context:

“How much cake do you think we’ll have to eat this time?” Farah asks.

[avelera]

First off, may I begin with screaming loudly about the new chapter of GS because my god, it was lovely! Will leave a comment on ao3 later once I’ve found some words beyond mere key bashing

Second, if at all possible and not inconvenient, could you perhaps share some tips about your process and staying motivated while writing? Especially for such a long fic? Sincerely, a fic writer who can’t manage to get anything finished, let alone posted

Aah, thank you so much!

*Cracks knuckles* OK, to answer your question!

Build endurance. Writing long fic is a marathon in a very REAL sense. Runners who sprint and runners who run marathons are totally different (if perhaps complimentary) skillsets. Writing a really dense, well crafted short story is a unique skill. It is NOT the same thing, in my opinion, as being able to write a long-form novel. (That's why, IMO, a lot of people who get their start in short stories because of the way creative writing education & publishing work in the mainstream these days often struggle to jump to novels and their first novel (*cough* American Gods *cough*) are often densely beautiful but weirdly episodic and not always well connected internally.) Sorry, random soap box moment. TL;DR: Short vs. long fic writing are different skills. Be patient with yourself. Build endurance the same way a marathoner does: with practice.

Do not post before the fic is finished. This is a tip that is largely unique to me and one I've broken recently BUT absolutely nothing motivates me to push through the hard parts at the middle of the story like the realization that if I don't, no one will ever read the story. It'll all be wasted effort (except insofar as I got to practice writing). This doesn't work for everyone, but it is worth a shot!

Do not talk about your fic before it's written. Storytelling is sometimes the same centers in the brain, at least for me, as story writing. IE, by telling someone what I'm going to write, I've drained the enjoyment from writing it. That juicy pleasure is already sucked dry, leaving only the husk of the actual work. Now, this doesn't mean you can't talk at all about your work but one tip is to only talk about parts you've already written. You can say you just wrote a cool passage about XYZ! But stop at the moment where you're about to say what happens next. Talking about your work is a reward for writers who have already written. Set a rule that you don't get to talk about what isn't there yet. You don't get to have the dessert before you've done the actual work.

Bring in a small group of trusted alpha readers. An alpha reader is not a beta reader. Their job is to cheerlead, not to edit. I only bring in alpha readers for very long works (like, over 50k) where true endurance is needed. This is not sharing a rough draft with the world! This is not avoiding the rigors of having a beta reader, thou shalt still use a beta reader when the chapter is ready (if possible) and before it is released to a wider audience! (Because beta readers are about respecting the time of your audience and putting in as much effort for them as you expect them to put in for you at minimum, ie, reading over your own work and asking for a friendly second pair of eyes for anything you missed). Point is, when a long fic is shaping up to be a huge slog, it can indeed be hard to keep the momentum going. Inviting an alpha reader is asking, politely, for someone to give you a small taste of the rewards of sharing your story so you don't give in before it's done. However, it needs to remain a small circle so you don't give in to the temptation of never finishing or publishing the polished work. This is micro-dosing feedback to keep you going, not a replacement for doing the work!

Ok, I think that covers it!

[sanddusted-wisteria]

An update on my fics

hey wow it's been 4 months

Nearly six months on both longfics lmao. I've been busy and will continue to be busy, unfortunately. Grad school is a different beast entirely to undergrad (be careful taking 3 grad classes in a semester. 2 heavy ones can really make you regret it), I need to prepare for job interviews and PhD program applications, and this summer I've been wrangling an internship and research work.

Even so tho, my MTAS brainrot is far from dead. It takes a lot of time and effort, but I still have a lot I want to do with the My Time verse and my OCs, both art and fic. So here's a quick update on where I am and what the plan is with my fics and fic series going forward, and some previews of what I have so far (on a separate post bc this one's already too long lmao)!

TL;DR: busy, but still writing! WIP snippets on the next post.

[Long post and rambling belowwwwww]

Earth and Sky

Currently my primary focus. E&S has evolved a TON since I decided to rewrite it. How much? Well...

[Drafting = first draft is in progress; Revising = draft is plot-complete, set aside for future editing passes]

In fact, I haven't even outlined the ending chapters since I recently had a change of heart in the kind of resolution I wanted. I got stuck on it enough that I decided to forego outlining anything for now and playing that one more by ear. I think any more time I spend tweaking these outlines might put me off this fic altogether :P

As someone that started writing with nameless/generic builders, writing for an OC is a different kind of challenge. I'm working to try and strike a good balance of focus on Wis vs Qi vs them together, and making Wis a very human, if not enjoyable character. Still, I think that this is one of those projects that if I can get right, it will be VERY right. It'll just take a bit to get there first :>

At minimum, I'll wait until most if not all of the chapters in the first third/quarter are done (chapters 1-16) to start posting, though hopefully I'll also have a solid idea for how some of the later chapters will go as well. Those are the really (internal) conflict-heavy chapters and I want to make sure it won't come out as shallow :P But I am excited to show you what I've got cooking!

A Cosmic Garden

This is the broader series for Wis and Qi. E&S will be the biggest fic, but it only goes up to a little beyond MTAS's Act 2. Beyond that, my plan is to write some side stories that go into Wis's Lore(tm), namely her origins as an Old World clone and her interactions with other Wis clones around the Alliance.

Why side stories? Well, a) any plot involving Wis as a clone is relatively spread out across the timeline of MTAS's story, since it's actually not that closely tied to her "main" storyline (being the first clone I made when the clone story was just kind of just a bullet point on their lore descriptions, it's less involved), b) it therefore doesn't really affect the story of how she and Qi get together, and c) I know that people might be far more interested in just the romance story with Qi (which is totally okay! I understand, I'm pretty much in the same camp with OC-centric stories a lot :P)

As for the equivalent of MTAS's Act 3, this won't be one cohesive fic, but a small series of smaller stories, since I don't really have too many ideas for a fully fleshed out telling of Act 3 that doesn't just walk through the main missions without much deviating from that. Some of those stories include:

A series of conversations between Qi and Miguel post Act 2

A Nia/Mi-an story

A silly little oneshot of Qi and Rosie interacting (tentative)

The original idea that Strangeness and Charm sprouted from; Wis and Qi conducting a methodical study on non-sexual intimacy (tentative)

The finale of the MTAS main story

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop

Currently on pause. For now, there's just too much OC brainrot for fics and on OTAS that I just need to get out. Don't worry! I'm absolutely not abandoning this one. I just can only really focus on one big project at a time lol. We're close to the end of this story's act 2, though not much of the remainder is written. In fact, chapter 34 is already done, but not chapter 33, so I can't quite post it yet. I think after I get the first part of E&S done (or I suppose whenever I feel like picking it up), I'll switch gears to at least get to the end of Act 2. Act 3 will need some reevaluation...I've hemmed and hawed over it forever, but I do want to finalize the plot for that one, and also potentially get started on that as well.

Others

To the...5 people that read my Grace/Wis miniseries, I really do still want to get that done a;sdlasdralsdrkj It's been hard since my thoughts on how Grace and Wis interact after Act 2 have changed a lot. But even so, I hate to leave it hanging there, so I've started working on it again. It's already outlined, I just need to get it filled in.

Someday I should come back to Quiet Moments in Sandrock... My art's gotten a ton better since then and there's a few ideas I still have leftover that I never got to. Unfortunately I need to make room for it somewhere in the 13438525 other art ideas I have that I can only do like 1 per week at MOST asdlrkasdasdrjksdrj

Sitting on the back burner forever in my writing folder is a fusion of Junji Ito's Uzumaki and MTAS... An MTAS version of Uzumaki's story works SURPRISINGLY well, and Wis and Qi I think make for stronger protagonists in this setting than Kirie and Shuichi in theirs if I do say so myself lol. It's fully outlined and everything, but that's gonna forever be on the back burner until either my longfics get done or I figure out how to write horror, whichever comes first 😂

So all in all...still cooking! Thank you if you read all this, and thank you for your patience, especially if you've been closely following any of my in progress fics. Hopefully once the interview and application cycle is out of the way this fall, I'll have more brain capacity to really plug away at all these and share with you all! :>

[awritingcaitlin]

August Wrap-Up

August was a bit like July. I wrote more than I thought I would. Slowly easing back into Heist. Actually feel like I’m getting somewhere again. Also it helps that I’m not holding myself accountable to have “[so many] chapters done by [date]” it’s more like “I will write/edit for at least 30 minutes every day and see how that goes.” And it’s working really well for me right now.

Still no move. Still no luck with job applications. Not much to say there because it’s depressing.

📺On the Screen📺

So we watched Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon. And that was fantastic. I knew I was gonna like it. I did not realize how much I was going to like it. I loved watching something that talked about diet serving you and your body, not trying to push yourself into something that’s ultimately bad for you. I loved watching everyone’s particular brand of autism. The magic system. The worldbuilding. The general symbolism I could write essays on it.

Marcille is, unsurprisingly, my favorite. You had me at “elf mage” to be honest. But also the way she approaches magic. The reason she does the things she does. Her propensity for “blow it up first, ask questions later.” Her particular brand of necromancy :) I just love her. I think one of my favorite parts was when they were fighting the red dragon and Laios told her to blast him up to the dragon’s face using only Senshi’s shield as protection and she balks a bit but then she does it. The two of them are matched crazy for crazy in the best way.

I’m slowly working my way through the manga now to see what happens next. I am mad that we didn’t get the bit about Marcille’s hair during the ritual but otherwise I’m loving how faithful the anime adaptation is. Looking forward to Season 2!

🎮With a Controller🎮

Technically, mouse and keyboard, but still. Continuing my run of Dragon Age: Origins. I keep binge playing it off and on. So I’m only about halfway through. I’ve finished Ostagar, done the Brecelian Forest, the Circle Tower, and Redcliffe through saving Connor. I’m now questing to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes.

I’m also going through a bit slower because I’m sorta-kinda writing down events as they happen for that theoretical Origins fanfic I keep telling myself I’m going to write. But I actually have more substance to it this time. (Oh yeah I did mention this last month. So yeah, it’s still happening.)

Also the brainrot of “Delicious in Dragon Age” happened and I was thinking about a blend of the two. Have I actually gone anywhere with this? Nope! But it sure was fun to think about for a few days.

(also it's so amusing when I'm on fire during a cutscene because the animation didn't stop prior to the scene starting.)

💻At the Keyboard💻

In addition to the zero draft stream-of-consciousness Dragon Age fanfic, I did put some more effort into Heist this month. Restructuring everything last month really got me going again. My total net word count for the month wasn’t very high, but that’s also because I’ve been deleting stuff that isn’t working. (Or, rather, moving it to a deleted scenes folder which doesn’t impact my total word count in Scrivener.)

But yeah, Chapter 27 got half rewritten to set up my new stakes. Then, naturally Chapter 28 needed edits to reflect that. Chapters 29-30 actually were mostly unaffected. But then Chapter 31 needed edits, Chapter 32 needed the major conversation in the second half entirely reworked, and Chapter 33 needed to be reworked tonally. Chapter 34 was entirely new, but it fit in and filled a hole nicely. The latest thing I’ve done is change the POV for Chapter 35, which I’m almost done with. There’s now going to be 48 chapters according to my most recent outline and hopefully I’m still under 110k words when I’m done. (Previous draft was 60 chapters and 106k words.)

But word count is actually not something I’m generally thinking about at the moment. I’m trying to get it all on the page. Ideally, by the end of this month I’ll be nearing the end of this draft. It’s the stretch goal, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. 30 minutes a day minimum, we’ll see where that gets me.

More rambling about Heist under the cut:

The Needed Changes: (as of right now) Chapter 35 - POV shift that I’m still working on Chapter 36 - will need minor edits Chapter 37 - needs to be entirely redone Chapter 38 - I have a framework but the stuff I’ve changed will mean major edits Chapter 39 - taking bits and pieces from other chapters from the previous draft for an effectively brand-new chapter Chapter 40 - similar case as Chapter 39 Chapter 41 - framework there, but will need major edits to reflect previous changes Chapter 42 - moderate to major edits Chapter 43 - major edits Chapter 44 - moderate to major edits Chapter 45 - major edits Chapter 46 - major edits Chapter 47 - major edits Chapter 48 - mostly all good, but will need minor to moderate edits Anyway, here’s to getting further in this draft and getting it out to beta readers within a month or so!

[radley-writes]

hey radleyyyy would you happen to have any thoughts on how to write something you love? how to inject your story with things that spark joy? I feel silly asking such a thing because it feels like the short answer would be to just write what sparks joy, but right now I'm kind of at a loss 😭 my current novel feels a bit boring! and I don't know what to do!

Sorry it took me so long to answer! I was ruminating over a response and then an inbox on another account got flooded with absolutely filthy fandom fuckery that stole away my squirrel brain. You have my apologies and my cuddles, because what you're going through is oh-so-familiar to me (and, I expect, to many other novelists). You are not silly to ask, and you are not alone! x

I am approaching this from the perspective of an ADHD gremlin, but I hope this advice will still be applicable.

First off, I think we can all do to remind ourselves that writing is many things at once - a joy, a chore, a vocation, an artform, a habit.

When you are working on a long creative project, there will be times when it drags. No matter how much you love what you do, there will be days (weeks, months) where the words won't flow, where the plot stagnates, where your brain craves new enrichment and alternate interests.

And that's okay!

Accepting that you won't always love your novel is, in my opinion, the first step on the path to finishing it.

It isn't wrong to feel bored of your writing. It doesn't mean your writing is bad - or even boring to anyone who isn't yourself! Tedium is a natural part of the creative process, and I think acknowledging that can reduce the pressure we feel as artists to continuously exude hype about our own creative content.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, or that your writing is boring. But I can definitely understand your desire to find joy in your writing again!

When I find myself drifting into that headspace, so long as I'm under no time constraint for publishing deadlines, I amble off to write something else for a bit. I usually set myself a small-ish target (50K or under) which I can hyperfocus on and bang out in a week - which for me, means fanfic! Even if it's of my own characters.What’s important is that it’s easy-writing, tropey shenanigans. Anything that will get the word-juices flowing again.

Alternatively, I do writing exercises! There are some really great ones out there - a Google search should provide content, but if not, I can send you some ideas!

It can really help to just cut loose, give yourself permission to pop the current idea in a box, scoot it surreptitiously under your mattress, and come back to it later.

If that doesn't appeal, and you want to keep working on this draft, I would gently guide you to that old authorly adage:

What seems boring to writers is not boring to readers.

We have mulled over, drafted, redrafted, edited and proofread the same story again and again and again. Even if you're on your first draft, you are likely putting in a helluva lot of thought into every sentence, scene, chapter. The most critical reader in the world will not be expending nearly as much effort on parsing your text as you poured into writing it.

I often imagine the sheer work that goes into writing a novel as an assault course. There are times where you are gleefully romping about the woodlands with your imaginary friends, and everything is sunshine, birdsong, and cool neon fungi.

Then there are times times where you get stuck in the nets on your belly and it starts to rain.

And all those imaginary friends just kinda stand around and shrug at each other and watch you wiggle like a worm through the mud. And you're drenched and shivering and miserable and there's something stuck in your left boot that keeps going squelch. And you start to wonder why you ever thought an assault course was a good idea - and how you're going to get the mud stains out of your trousers.

By the time you drag yourself to freedom, you might have barely moved ten inches through the course. But that's still just as big an accomplishment as all the fun frolicking that preceded it.

Whether you decide to divert your attention to a new project or keep squirming squidgily forwards, I wish you the best of luck!

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ november 2022

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 9835 drafting; 17606 redrafting/editing

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue, Andromeda Rising

proudest accomplishment: i published my first art zine! oh and finishing the first draft of AR3 is also a thing that happened

books read: Memoria by Kristyn Merbeth; Cinder by Marissa Meyer, A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

(book comments first: Memoria (the sequel to Fortuna, which i read a few weeks ago) was MUCH better imo than the first, 4.5 stars. Cinder was very enjoyable but i do feel like i am simply getting too old for YA and would have liked it better if i had read it a few years ago, 4 stars. A Memory certainly wasn't bad, but in the end it fell a bit flat for me, 3 stars.)

this month has been Very Weird. within the span of like 3 days a lot of things happened, including finishing AR3 and other Personal Stuff that resulted in me suddenly having a lot of free time on my hands that i did not know what to do with. but everything ended up working out! and a lot of that free time went to working on my wip.

i had thought that after finishing AR3 i'd work on one of my lower-effort sidewips, or work on other hobbies like drawing, but the motivation for those things just... didn't manifest itself? (also the Secret Space WIP, has become bigger than i thought it would, and i felt it would require more commitment than i am currently willing to give it)

anyways i just ended up going right back to AR kjdfgkjfds whoops

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA RISING (finishing the draft)

did i really finish this draft this month? it feels like forever ago jkfdjk

so my unofficial NaNo goal was to finish AR3. i had originally estimated it would take 15k, and then adjusted it to 10k. i didn't quite make the 10k either but i DID finish the draft, so that's still a win. to me.

this draft turned out way shorter than i had hoped... and there's a LOT that needs to be fixed, and i'm not completely satisfied with how it turned out. but i really was at the point where i had to just get through it to call it done otherwise i never would, so thank fuck that's over with.

(trying not to think about how much needs to be fixed yet. gritting my teeth.)

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft... 2!!!!)

so i had this whole plan of letting the entire series rest, then rereading, reoutlining, reworking some plot, character and worldbuilding stuff, and only starting draft 2 in 2023... and then i got impatient lmao.

i was somewhere in the reoutlining stage about a week after finishing AR3 when i realized it felt like i was wasting my time. not much of the main structure of this book is gonna change, so i was pretty much just rewriting the exact same outline i already had. (i plantsed through draft 1 but made a reverse outline as i was writing.) most of the changes are adding or changing certain details to scenes and no amount of planning was gonna help any more than just writing out the changes. so, on the 18th, i started draft 2.

(besides, it's not like i didn't let AR1 rest. i finished it in june 2021 after all.)

i also had a bunch of editing notes from when i was drafting, + stuff i thought about later while writing the sequels on how to better set things up, + notes taken during my reread. so i ended up just annotating the hell out of my first draft to show where i would add or change things, and then i put the old draft on one side of the screen and a new doc on the other side and started rewriting it to include the changes.

i've gone through about 5 chapters and added an epilogue so far! it's going pretty fast haha. i've already added over 2000 words just by fleshing things out a bit more, now that i know my characters and the world much better than when i started. it's SO much easier now that i have the entire series in front of me.

chapter 5 is where i've been slowed down as there is a considerable amount of stuff that needed to be rewritten completely-- it's quite exposition-heavy (it's the scene where Petra gets a rundown of her xenobotany mission), and when i first wrote it, i wasn't exactly sure where i was going with the story. and even though i now have a fuller picture in front of me, it's always hard to write an exposition-heavy chapter and include everything that needs to be said without making it drag. not to mention, foreshadowing and setting things up appropriately.

right now, i'm taking a quick break from redrafting to iron out some of the political backdrop of the story. not only did i need to rest after wrestling with chapter 5, but i was disappointed reading A Memory Called Empire, which was supposed to be a political intrigue, and it was one heck of a motivator to try to make the politics in my book better haha.

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

very short passage i added to AR1 to further demonstrate how much of a nerd Petra really is.

“Petra,” Dr. Derosy said, “you did your thesis on vitaplants. Would you mind giving us a brief definition?” Petra coughed and sat up straighter in her chair. “Vitaplants are a category of plants that boost the growth and health of other living organisms around them, specifically through the emission of vitawaves," she said. "Vitaplants have been found to have evolved independently on multiple planets around the sector and are not confined to a single genus, which has confounded taxonomists—"

“Thank you, Petra. I did say brief.”

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to either.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @stormharbors @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @stormharbors @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

[ipsen]

1, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12 and 13 for Holometabolism

Hoho, boy, here we go. After a read more!!

1 - What inspired you to write/update this work?

I once put in the tags of a post I can no longer remember that there are only two things that fuel the creative process: love and spite, which are ultimately the same thing-- a desire for something better than what came before.

I am not upset that Eto was scrubbed out of her role in TG:re. I am upset because she was ultimately treated as an afterthought by the story, and that most of her efforts are just attributed to Arima. It's one of Tokyo Ghoul's worst habits: giving men more pity and attention than women. And this is a story with really good women characters that fall flat simply because the story refuses to utilize them.

That is ultimately why I made Holometabolism.

4 - What’s the most challenging part about posting new/updated work? Do you find posting stressful or invigorating?

Posting as I go is probably the only way I can motivate myself to continue a multichapter work. I need some extra validation from sources besides myself, because personal passion can only get you so far in life. You must be uplifted by others in some capacity to, ultimately, make it anywhere.

The hardest part about posting is, to me, clicking the post button. Because I just know there's gonna be some formatting error or whatever that I missed and now I have to go back and FIX IT.

Oh well.

5 - How do you decide how long your fics/chapters will be? Do you have a word count goal?

For Holometabolism specifically, I liked to shoot for at least 4k words because that's a nice healthy number for me. It just seems like the longfics I myself enjoy have a similar word count per chapters, and I've just kinda grown accustomed to it.

But usually my process involves a vision, and then writing to get to said vision. I visualized an EtoKen ending for this fic and then went from there (I actually fleshed out Chapter 4 the most before any of the others, and it's the chapter that's retained the most of its original draft form). Word count isn't a generally a factor, but it does help keep me within a certain limit.

I'm all for a word vomit, but constraints are an integral part of quality. Also makes editing much easier when there's less to actually edit. I like editing the least.

7 - What part of this fic/chapter was the most fun to write?

Now here's a tricky question, because I have a lot of parts that I had so much fun, to the point where ranking them is honestly impossible.

I liked Eto and Touka's first conversation in Ch2. They are foils to one another, with similar backstories and personalities, but they approach things differently. Establishing that was important groundwork for their friendship later on in the fic.

Every time Hinami interacted with Eto was a joy. Hinami is this weird cross between Kaneki and Eto, like a strange brain child of theirs since she was influenced by both of them at key stages in her life.

Ch4's climax (haha) is near and dear to my heart. Not my best work by a longshot, but a very important piece that I'll cherish for a long time. Reconciling your ugliness and bearing it in the hopes for something better is something I want to believe I can do too. So I wrote two people doing it (haha).

Ch5's ending!! I loved taking "I am a ghoul" and making it a positive, awesome slogan! I felt bad having to follow it up with Ch6, honestly. SPEAKING OF--

Eto and Furuta's conversation and "rematch"! So much fun. What better to demonstrate her character development than by having her confront someone she definitely hates? Gotta pat myself on the back for that one.

8 - Which line/paragraph are you most proud of? Why are you proud of this?

Tricky question #2, I see. Well, if I have to pick one, then:

“Please don’t die, Eto,” [Hinami] choked out.

Eto pursed her lips. “Why?”

A few tears dropped onto their hands, coalescing into a small puddle on Eto’s knuckles. “Because… Because I’m not ready to say goodbye.” Hinami pressed their hands against her forehead. “Please… Even if you can’t smile, or laugh, or cry… Live.”

I intended this to be the turning point for Eto's character in this EtoKen fanfiction. A sin, to some, to not have the love interest be the one to start the redemption journey.

Hinami is another one of Eto's foils who is also in the unique position of being capable of holding real and sustainable affection for her. It was important to me to showcase that that was what it was: real, genuine love. Because Hinami, besides Kaneki, is the only person Eto would actually believe in 99% of circumstances, since the girl is both similar to Eto and honest with herself.

12 - What do you hope readers will take away from this work?

"You are worth it, even if you don't think you are." "There's always a little bit of hope for everyone." "Even if you can't smile, laugh, or cry... Live."

Life is mostly good, I like to think, and I wanted to underscore that belief with this fic. I want people to know that hope is stronger than despair, and that it is hope for the future and yourself that drives positive change. Something like that.

13 - Are there any cut lines/scenes from this work? Why did you cut them?

I have an entire document dedicated to "scenes that were Good to me, but either didn't flow properly with the story or just contributed very little to the progression of those involved." There's at least one scene per chapter, too.

I might actually post some of them here on tumblr someday, when I'm feeling enough energy to format each LOL

--

That's everything! Thanks for the ask!

[surely-galena]

Hey Galena!

Do you mind sharing how you write your fics? Do you have a process? A starting point?

Also, I know a lot of ppl talk "show not tell" in writing, but how do you know if you're telling instead of showing (& vice versa)? Cause for me, I would look down at what I wrote and have no idea if I'm showing or telling.

I've searched online too. People all talk about "show it not tell it" but there's never any steps to tell you how to differentiate between the two.

Hey Rose!! :D

And ohh, those are fun questions!

1) Fic writing process

All fics start with an idea, and when I get one, I store it in a document of fics (it's a numbered list of ideas with some bullet points if I want to expand further). I don't look at the fic again unless I have nothing to write OR the idea keeps swimming around in my head and I need to get it out in a more concrete form.

I don't put too much effort into outlining a fic. Often I'll make a short list of bullet points with notes, scenes I want to include, and other things I don't want to forget. A lot of the time, stuff comes to me as I write, so I don't worry about the tiny details.

When I think I like an idea enough to see it to completion, I'll open a new document and put down the summary and tags on the very first page. Here's what that looks like for my fic Sorry, we thought this was a meal for four, not one: 

Usually, I don't insert the summary quote until much later. On the same page, I'll also generally have things I want to include in the notes or details I really need to remind myself on. They don't always make the most sense:

Longer, more plot-driven fics tend to have more notes. I think for my Vyn Wonderland fic, I moved my story ramblings to the notes app on my phone (and actually ended up with a brief chapter-by-chapter outline).

I don't always have a finished outline when I start drafting, but when I do start writing I try to speed through the first draft. It's very much "write first, edit later" on my end because I convince myself that I can make it better during the editing process.

Speaking of editing, once I have a first draft I like to let it sit for a bit, whether that be for a couple of hours or overnight. Then when I return to the draft, I should have a better perspective on what needs to be fixed. I go through at least four rounds of editing, sometimes more, and the last round is always with the work pasted in the AO3 editor (because the change in font once again gives me that new perspective to get typos/errors I missed in the previous rounds). I also make sure to click 'preview' and then return to the draft because that allows me to fix spaces after italics, line breaks, etc.

Once I'm satisfied with the one-shot/chapter (or just tired of reading the same thing 5-6 times in a row XD), I click the post button!

2) Show don't tell

My interpretation of show don't tell is a lot to do with emotion. Mostly something like "if you can define the emotion then try not to state it". Character A isn't happy at some good news (telling), they're grabbing their friend and spinning them around in a circle (showing). Character B isn't angry (telling), a fire is burning in the pit of their stomach and/or their throat is tight and/or their fists are clenched (showing).

It's not a hard rule, of course, because I tell sometimes, too!

I think another way show don't tell is used has to do with internal voice. Like how telling would something like "he thought so-and-so" and showing would be putting the thoughts directly in italics or indirectly in normal text.

Telling: He wondered what the secret ingredient was.

Showing directly: He swallowed the bite of lasagna. Huh, I wonder what the secret ingredient is.

Showing indirectly: He swallowed the bite of lasagna. What could the secret ingredient be?

I've used all three in various situations, so you don't always have to show each and every thing. Find what works for you and go with it :D

I don't know if that makes sense at all, but hopefully that helped!!

If you get stuck, you can always refer to writing styles you like and see what the author does with their prose, dialogue, whatever you're studying -- and then see if you can execute it in your own writing!

Thanks for stopping by, Rose!! Hope I didn't ramble on for too long ^_^

[mimicteruyo]

Concept: what if NaNoWriMo was already over and I didn’t have to write so goddamn much every day?

[goodbye-yashiro]

My brain so much isn't working that I had to use Google Translate to read the dam' text out loud. And while I'm at it! (I was writing a post for a week, but it's too long, I couldn't ever finish it :P) It's a quick, messy post because I have to study. EDIT: It took me two afternoons to finish.

ADHD study tips!

- BeLineReader is some super useful, it colors text gradient, has an open dyslexic font, and clean/reader mode! (Tho it "expires" after a few weeks, and you have to delete and download it again.)

- Grammarly is good, but it sure can get annoying with it telling you you misplaced a comma, but refusing to tell where.

- Rereading the notes you took in class is always better than nothing. Pro tip: reread them before going to bed, and right before class, because our brains process information at night.

- When you have to do an essay/PPT, Ctrl+F is your friend. Also, write down questions or keywords you want it to be about. Write a "first draft," a little messy, that only you (but you do) understand, and only when done start to reword it with "fancier words."

Include the terms you've learned in class. Teachers like to hear themselves back.

- If fancy words, I have two sites for you: scribens.com (a grammar checker), rhymezone.com (it has everything word-related you could ever need).

- Highly recommend Weava Highlighter too! You can highlight and save text from any site or PDF and even add notes.

- When doing a PPT use the automatic design ideas and pictures, pictures, pictures - it's easy and will look a lot better.

- Copy-past sentences from your sources and reword them, change the word order on the slide, use the original sentence when presenting.

- Use Comic Sans for writing notes/essays, but if not comic sans, some neat font. Copy-past a text from Tumblr into a document and you'll get the font Tumblr uses. (Which is apparently too long for me to include)

I like Courier New too.

- Have a paper for "junk thoughts" - write them down, but only deal with them later.

- Look for the fun things. Documentaries, history movies, colorized historical recordings exist.

-Tie it up with interests! You like making neat Tumblr posts? Great! Make neat Tumblr posts! IV. Henrick Moodboard. Make memes about it.

Explain it to someone in the most basic "meme language." "And then he goes..." "*something*" "Pathetic" "XY left the chat."

How fun is that??! (especially for literature and history)

- The effort rule (based on some experiment) the more effort you put into it, the more likely you will remember it. Sounds ridiculous, but...

put down your notebook in one corner of the room so you have to walk a little with every sentence, and take notes this way.

- Another ridiculous way to remember stuff is to place the information in unique places, so you will remember it for sure. Write that formula on an empty toilet paper roll no one had the energy to throw in the trash. Put a sticky note on the cheese in the fridge.

- I'm the kind of person who gets motivation from not doing the notes for myself but to make videos on the topic for the "next generations," because our school system su©ks.

- Have a document/bookmark folder with all the stuff you'll need!!!(links I mean) And go by the path of the links.

Like this:

X'o clock - Y'o clock - History, ancient Greece

[link of source for studying] [link of source for studying] [link of source for studying]

Y'o clock - Z'o clock - Rest

[link of a Tumblr blog you want to check out for new posts] [link of a short video you want to watch]

Make starting only take one/two clicks. Use a site blocker and only whitelist the few pages you'll need for 1) studying, and 2) in the breaks.

- This thing can automatically open a new tab (a link) at a given time.

- For note-taking in class: use an erasable pen.

- In the classes where the teacher simply can't explain, only jot down the keywords and look them up later. Check your book for illustrations and definitions. Works for just-pass-will-forget-everything-after-the-test subjects.

- Illustrate your notes. I like to doodle little figures in my notebook, it 1) keeps my hands busy

2) as I'm a visual type, it helps me remember where was a piece of information in my notes located, and

3) it forms a link in between dry and heavy information. (It personalizes things [countries, groups, ideologies], visualizes concepts, and brings color into events)

This is what my notes look like: (for strucutre - tho I love philosophy, so with my not-favorite subjects it's obviously a bit different...)

- As for sensory things:

☀️ Let there be light! Sunlight or some lamps with a cozy mood.

💻 "Play" with the settings of your screen, turn down the brightness, the saturation, etc.

👕 If you find it refreshing, maybe take a bath/shower before, or change your clothes to more comfortable ones.

🍃 Let in some fresh air, make sure the room isn't too hot, nor too cold.

🍹 Have a bottle of water by your side, so you don't forget to drink.

���� If you need some background noise, there are tons of ambient sound channels on youtube and there's also MyNoiseNet.

🎼 Or put on a music/playlist with only a few tracks looped. Or instrumental music. Or music in a foreign language. Just imagine learning history while some cinematic classical music plays. XD

If you feel bad, here's this site that might help you figure out why.

I plan to make other ADHD and autism posts soon. Till then, *casually salutes* I hope I helped some! :)

[bowievanfleet]

Prompt 1

Dialogue 2: where does it hurt

Scenario 6: holding the other while the cry

With Jake🥺

ache- jake kiszka

pairing- jake kiszka x gn!reader

genre- hurt/comfort, teeny bit of fluff if you squint

prompt- in the ask :)

warnings- detailed descriptions of a headache, slight mentions of medical/health anxiety (as always, let me know if i'm missing any)

a/n- i am SO sorry this had taken me so long to get to, i’m extremely unmotivated rn lmao. this has been sitting in the drafts for a l o n g while so i'm excited to finally get it out. i hope you like it bestie!!

note- this isn't proofread very well considering i finished it at 1 am, ill prob go back and edit it later but if you see any mistakes rn, shhh no you don't.

songs for the story :)

eyes without a face/billy idol

strawberry fields forever/the beatles

...

there’s no polite way to describe how you were feeling. you could only put it gruesomely; you felt as though your brain was expanding too big for your head, about to crack your skull open and spill out. it was like someone was pushing a whole 20 pound weight on your head, a constant, strong pressure, blending into pain. you sat there trying to wait for it to pass, counting the seconds before your skull would pound again.

1, 2, throb, 1, 2, throb.

you sat backstage with the boys, they had just finished a show. it was phenomenal, as always, and you were fairly certain it wasn’t the loudness of it that was causing your head to scream. how could something so beautiful, so ethereal, cause this much pain? you knew why your head was hurting, but you didn’t want to address it. not here, not now.

you gave a small laugh at something sammy had said, somehow managing to break through your brick wall of pain for a split second to hear the ending of his remark. the laugh wasn’t wholehearted, however, and no one noticed but jake. jake always noticed, and it was a blessing and a curse.

he noticed how you didn’t put your full voice into the laugh, didn’t throw your head back like you usually did. he noticed how it didn’t reach your eyes. you were good at hiding the pain, but not from him.

you sat, oblivious to his observations as the throbbing started to become unbearable. you were sure you had some tylenol in your bag, but you hadn’t wanted to leave the group for a second, for fear it would get worse the second you stepped out into the venue hallway. but, it began to get worse anyways despite your best efforts, so you grabbed your bag, giving a quiet “i'm gonna run to the bathroom,” before opening the door to the hallway, closing it softly behind you.

it was only then when you realized you had absolutely no idea where the bathroom was, and you started to panic. you didn’t have the energy to confront a venue employee, you didn’t even think you could get a word out right now.

you started walking helplessly among the backstage halls, hoping you would eventually run into the bathrooms if you kept walking far enough. you did that for about 5 minutes, before the sudden sharp pain in your skull took you by surprise.

your hand shot out to grasp the wall, desperately trying to find something to hold on to. your eyes screwed shut, and everything went black for a second. you couldn’t hear, the only thing your ears could register was a high pitched ringing. which meant you also couldn’t hear the footsteps sounding behind you, getting increasingly faster as they neared you. the spell only lasted for a few seconds, so when the ringing finally faded, the first thing you heard was a panicked voice coming from behind you.

“y/n? y/n are you okay, do you need me to get someone?” the voice asked tentatively as it reached closer. you turned around, finding jake speed-walking toward you, his eyebrows tipped in concern, his hands fidgeting by his sides, like he wanted to touch you but wasn’t sure if he should.

the question finally clicked in your brain, realizing more people were the last thing you needed right now. it had never been this bad before, but you trusted it would pass soon enough… hopefully.

“n-no, no i don’t need anyone, i’m okay.” you breathed, feeling another wave of pain starting to approach you. jake noticed, “hey, hey,” he soothed, and noticed you starting to screw your eyes shut again. he led you over to a vending machine area that had a few chairs placed around it, guiding you to sit in one.

you immediately put your head in your hands, starting to get panicky. it had never lasted this long, and it had never been this bad. what if something’s really wrong? your brain echoed, even though your doctor had assured you it was a common condition. what if there's an exception? what if it turns fatal, what if i have to go to the hospital? you worried, your mind spewing endless unlikely possibilities at you.

you felt jake softly take your wrists in his warm hands, a stark contrast to your freezing skin. upon this action, you looked up at him, becoming aware of the tears streaming down your face now. he was kneeling on the ground in front of you, studying you intently, trying to assess the situation.

you figured you must look pathetic; shaky and quivering, silent tears running down your face. jake started gently rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles on your wrist, which helped a little to ground you. you tried to focus on him as he spoke. “y/n i need you to tell me what's wrong, are you okay? what do you need me to do? i’m here to do it, whatever it is.” you felt another wave of pressure wash over you as your eyes squeezed shut again and the tears started coming faster. “i-it hurts,” was all you could manage to squeak out, before you started full-on sobbing. before you knew it, you were being pulled down into the floor with him, and you immediately curled into his warm body, nuzzling your head into his chest like if you got close enough to him, the pain would go away. and surprisingly, it started to. the wave began to wash away at an agonizingly slow pace just slow enough to make it hurt even more.

jake stroked your hair comfortingly, his touch almost absorbing the pain you were experiencing. “where does it hurt, baby?” he asked softly. you started to hear him more clearly now, the pressure starting to slowly fade into a dull numbness.

it was amazing, how you were in his arms, engulfed by him, his smell, his body, his presence, his touch, and somehow, it was like he took it all away. “it's just my head,” you whimpered out, trying to get over the last of the wave. “okay,” he started, “do you have any medicine with you?” he suggested, his hand moving to press gently on the back of your neck, relieving the pressure there as well. “yeah, i have some tylenol in my bag,” you explained to the best of your ability.

he let go of you for a brief second, digging around in your bag, finding the tylenol and getting you a bottle of water from the vending machine.

“here, drink.” he softly commanded, handing you the pills and the water. you took the medicine from him pathetically, gulping them down. you sat there for a second, staring at the rough carpet, trying to get your thoughts together. jake sat beside you, tentatively running his fingers up and down your arms. “how are you feeling now?” he asked gently.

“a bit better,” you croaked. “just kinda fuzzy.”

"do you think you could tell me what exactly happened?” he pushed, trying to get an explanation to ease his worries.

you tried to explain the best you could in your hazy state.

“i get these really bad migraines sometimes- when my stress or anxiety’s really bad- and y’know i’ve learned how to deal with them pretty well but the one i just had- its never been that bad before. i don’t really know what happened. i’m sorry jake, i know i must’ve looked so pathetic and-”

“hey, hey stop getting yourself worked up. you were so strong, i'm so proud of you.” he pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair.

he’s never touched you like this before, never called you the affectionate names he had used earlier, but you didn’t have the energy to question it. it felt so right, so natural, that you didn’t even really feel the need to. it was almost as if it had always been this way.

you sniffled again. “thank you jake. i usually don’t like people seeing me when i get them but you helped a lot. like, more than i can describe.” you tried to explain it without sounding like you were crazy.

“well i’m glad i could help you, my love. i would do anything as long as it meant you felt comfortable and safe.” he confessed. you didn't have enough brian power to fully register the intensity of what he said, so you just buried your head into his chest again, sliding your hands up to tangle in his hair. he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“i want you to do something for me, okay?” he started. you nodded your head into his shirt, signaling him to go on. “i want you to call your doctor tomorrow and tell them that they're starting to get worse. see if they can prescribe you something instead of just using tylenol.” as if he could sense your worries, he added, “i’ll even help you make the call and the appointment. i know it's scary, but the number 1 priority is making sure you're okay and healthy. i can almost 100% promise you it’s nothing serious.”

usually when people tried to reassure you it was nothing, you didn't believe them. it always went in one ear and out the other. but something about the way jake was looking at you, the way he articulated and spoke his words so sincerely, like he would bet a million dollars on it if he could, made your worries about the doctor disappear. for once you actually believed that it was actually a common condition.

you believed that you were going to be okay.

you looked up at him slowly, and hesitantly agreed. “okay, but you promise you’ll help me with the call and everything?” he held his pinky up for you to interlock with yours. “i promise.” he confirmed, sealed with a kiss on your forehead.

you nuzzled back into his shoulder and began to fade into unconsciousness, not having any more energy to stay awake.

you vaguely worried about what jake would do with your sleeping body, but your questions would be answered when you woke up in his bed the next morning, tucked in with his comforter up to your chin, a note scribbled out on the nightstand:

sorry to leave you alone, josh needed some things from the store and wouldn’t get his ass up to do it himself. breakfast is on the stove, i’ll be back before you know it.

p.s.- i hope i can wake up next to you more often.

all my love,

jake

.............................................................................................................................

taglist- @dakotadovato <33

[chameleon-madrigal]

XXII | Cuentos de Camilo

(Stories of Camilo)

Title: The Proposal

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Camilo x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Aged up, Modern AU (No Powers)

Summary: They say “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” And Camilo waited all these years just to propose and asked you to be his wife.

He/him pronouns for Camilo

She/her pronouns for Reader

Note: This has been in my drafts for ages so I decided to finish and I hope you love it! For those who I haven't posted their requests dont worry im still working on it, sorry im currentlt having a writer's block but I hope you like this on, enjoy <33

MASTERLISTER HERE!

Camilo's POV

It has been 7 years when me and Y/N started dating. Being in a relationship is not that easy nor hard, it takes patience and time. I thought I know Y/N really well when I liked her, but when she became my girlfriend I got to know her very well. I can now tell what she likes and what she doesn't. Her moods? I had already settled with that, afterall Papa raised me well, especially when she has mood swings from her monthly period. But I still love her anyways.

Being together with her for how many years now, got me into a decision and choice that will have our life better. I'm going to propose to her. And with a precious princesa comes with a precious surprise. When I mean surprise it really should have put a lot of effort, Y/N is really fond of surprises, like REALLY!

My plan is to set up the house to an amazing place where the magic would happen. But yeah just gonna make this place so special for her. I already asked my primas and hermana to help me and gladly they helped me without me treating them in return. Both of our families already knew about this, the only thing left is just to set up the place.

"Camilo are the photos ready?" Isabela asked me once she entered my room while constantly leaving flower petals, that is from her hand, everywhere. I had a lot of our pictures that we will hang for later in the set up.

"Sí, Isa almost done in-" I didn't finish my sentence when she suddenly smack my head. Oww that hurts!?

"HEY!? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?" I said and she just rolled her eyes at me.

"You almost stepped into my cactuses!" She said and I just looked at him with an 'are-you-serious-look'

"Okayy, fine I'll be careful. Since your cactus are more important than your primo being stung by it" I said and glared at her while she is just chuckling as she just messed with my hair.

"Stop being so dramatic" She said and continued putting flowers and designs everywhere to make the place more pretty.

If I really don't owe something to Isabela, I swear I would have teased her about her plants and stuffs.

After I have arrange the photos, Isabela went downstairs and hang those in the garden. And now I need to make sure that all of my presents are still here. The presents were just a big human size chameleon stuffed toy (which I think maybe this is a lot bigger than her and ofcourse chameleon coz it represents me), a boquet of blue and pink flowers (she loves that color thats why), I also have a box that has a yellow bracelet with a butterfly pendant and a necklace that goes with a heart pendant. And most importantly chocolates! With the very very most important is the letter or poem that I made for her. And THE RING OFCOURSE. I hope she will love this stuffs.

Okay, so this is the very amazing plan that was made up by yours truly. First, I will invite her to come to the house to have some movie night and at the middle of the movie I will excuse myself and go to the garden at that time my own video will show up, so yeah I edited it to put in into the movie. After the video, ofcourse she will find me. While on her way to the garden, rose petals are scattered to the floor making her follow it to the garden. Once she arrived there (ofcourse I'm still hiding) she will notice the beautiful lights that is hanging on the garden, with our pictures in it. And some notes that has messages on it. After that I will come out with all those stuffs. And then EASYYY- I WILL PROPOSE.

I went downstairs to see how the place is getting ready.

"Woahh, this place is so nicee" I said with a smile on my face as soon as I saw the garden. I taste a little of the foods that Tía Julieta made and I almost finished it but Mirabel stopped me.

"Tía these foods are the best!" I said and while snapping my hands.

"Ofcourse it was made by my Mama and if you don't stop, I swear there would be nothing left" Mirabel said and put me away to the kitchen

I just muttered and stuck out my tongue to her and helped Isabela and Dolores scatter the rose petals from the ground.

Once we are finished, I told them to just stay here and do whatever they want but just be quiet, as her family are also here. I texted Y/N to come over here, luckily its just easy for her to say yes.

"Ahh look at you, Cariño. All grown up" My Mamí said and hugged me tight as she started to be emotional.

"Pepi, amor. You're gonna ruin his look. You are making your papa proud, Camilo" Mi papa said and did a thumbs up as I smiled.

"YOu ArE mAkInG yOuR PapA pRoUd" I immitate him trying to ease the serious tension as he just look at me in disbelief.

"I don't sound like that"

"i DoN'T SOuNd LIkE THAt" I said and he was about to smack me when Dolores interrupted.

"I think we should get going"

"We'll be waiting outside" Mamí said as they went to the garden.

Dolores just hugged me and nudged me without a warning as I gave her a confusing look but later on, change into a fond smile.

"Goodluck, hermanito" She said as Mariano gave me a thumbs up.

Antonio hugged me also before going outside as he gave me his chameleon stuffed animal.

"For the nerves" He said and I just chuckled.

Tía Julieta and Tío Agustin also gave me a goodluck before they went along.

"Aye, little minime I can see that your future is to be with her and I hope you will treasure that" My Tío Bruno went up to me and gave me a pat on my shoulder.

As I felt three people suddenly hugged me tight.

"It felt like yesterday, you are just our baby bro but look at you now!" Luisa said as tears filled up her eyes, getting proud of her primo.

"You two look perfect for each other, primo. I swear if you will hurt her, its cactuses for you" Isabela said as I scratched my head nervously. Hurting Y/N is like the death of me, ofcourse I wouldn't do that.

"My primo Camilo who wouldn't stop until he makes us smile today is now getting engaged and its a miracle someone lasted so long for you" Mirabel joked as Isabela jokingly agreed as I frown.

"Hey, that's a foul! Yellow Card!!"

"Kidding! But I am so proud of you, and I hope you're happy to spend another journey of your life with her" She said as they all hugged me again as I thanked them.

I looked at Abuela who was looking at me with a bright smile, as I went up to her to hug.

"My first little boy grandkid, I am so happy for you" She said as I waited for her to continue.

"You might be joking around all the time but I know you're serious for her. The miracle is not how happy your relationship is, the miracle is the both of you. You have each other and I hope you will treasure her, mi hijo" Abuela said as I wiped the tears in her eyes and smiled.

"I will Abuela, Gracias" I hugged Abuela feeling overwhelmed at the words she said, knowing I would always hear her scolding me for seconds always.

As he was left alone, Camilo waited for you at the door. While everyone was at the garden quietly sneaking or fooling around maybe. The garden is at the back of the house so when you will arrive you would not see the others at the front door.

I heard the door bell ring, so I immediately opened the door and pulled her into a tight hug. Because of excitement and nervousness. She was shocked at first, but eventually she hugged back.

"Aawwh my chameleon really missed me~" She cooed at me and kissed my lips. I just chuckled at her without being able to tease her back, because I can feel the tense running up to me now. I let her come in and she immediately sat on the couch. I got some few chips for us to eat and I sat beside her. She put her head on my shoulder as I put my arms around her.

"So what movie do you want to watch?" I asked her, even though I know it is still the same movie she would pick.

"Hmm, how 'bout Encanto?" She said and I just looked at her while raising my brow at her, im so good at acting. That is why I am a theatre kid.

"Seriously? That again? You watched that for more than 10times already" I said faking a cry and she just glared at me.

"Your point? now come on turn it on" She said and kissed my cheeks. I just turned the movie on and we watched it, again.

As I knew it was already close to the middle of the movie, I excused myself to go the bathroom, but Y/N stopped me.

"Aye, why do you need to go? We're almost at the middle. This is the best part" She said and sulked. I need to go now or else this will be ruined, aye, this girl really.

I pecked her lips and told her that I really need to use the bathroom and she just chuckled at me saying she was just joking about stopping me. So I went straight to the garden and told everyone to hide and to get ready.

Third Person's POV

You continued watching the movie as soon as Camilo went to the bathroom. You noticed that the movie keeps on scratching, is the tv broke? You were about to click on the remote when it turned black, scared you broke it.

"Omygod, MILO WHY DID THE SCREEN WENT BLACK?!" You shouted and noticed that he is at the bathroom for too long. You mentally cursed at the thought Abuela be mad at you for breaking their tv.

As the screen went black a video of Camilo started playing, as you started questioning yourself.

"So, uhmmm *waves at the cam* Hola, mi princesa~ well, its been awhile since we started dating a-and im not surprised we had taken this as a long relationship, uhh, I know this sounds cheesy but let me say this...remember the time when we first met..I cant deny that I think I've been l-love at first sight..with you..and im so happy that we became friends after that. When I first confess to you, I was really really nervous at that time. Cause that was the first confession I've ever made. And you're the first girlfriend I've ever had. Thats when I told myself that I will never let go of this girl, I mean it never. For all those happy times that we had I always cherish those memories the most. But through all these happy moments that we have, there will always be sad and hurting moments that every couple is facing. Just like us. But like what I have said, I really love you and I will protect you. There's always a time where I would think of giving up, but my family and yours and...soon-to-be my family*mumbles* they are also there for me in all those times. They made me think that if I really love you, I won't think of giving up my love for you. No matter how badly I would get hurt physically or mentally, it doesnt matter as long as I will have you forever. *teary-eyed* But I am Camilo Madrigal, your boyfriend...I will fight for you and do anything just for you. They don't call me the entertainer for nothing. And I guess I did it successfully, just look at what we are now, we're still together and our relationship is getting stronger than ever. You know who my heart is beating for..ofcourse, its the most beautiful girl and my ONLY love in this world, its you *points at the cam*. To all those promises that we made for each other. I hope it will stay in us longer. I've always been the happiest guy in the world, since im with you. I'll just ask you one question, and it would be save for later *winks at the cam and chuckles after* Mi amor, vida, princesa, mi querida, cariña, you are mine as I am also yours. Remember that, I love you always and forever my baby~ *kisses the cam and smiles* Oh and btw, after this come to the garden, Te amo!!~"

The screen went black again and you were so touched at the moment on what he did. You felt like crying being so lucky to have him. After a minute of trying to process youe thoughts and calm your emotions , you walked your way to the garden to see him.

As on your way to the garden, you noticed the rose petals making its way on the ground. you smiled at the effort that Camilo made but you wondered whats the occassion? When you arrived at the garden you were so shocked at how it was. There are lights that brighten up the garden,the food that smells so nice, you were really sure that this was Tía Julieta's cooking tho and the pictures that is hanging. One by one you went near the pictures to see it and noticed the notes that was beside it.

You smiled at the pictures 'coz it reminds you of the memories you and Camilo had for the past years. There was your first date, and the time he took you to their home to meet his family, your first dance, his confession and so much more. You felt a tear left your eyes, not of sadness, but because of happiness and the overwhelming feeling. You looked around to find Camilo, but you can't see him.

"Cami, where are you??" You looked around but still no sign of him. You continued to looked around until you heard someone's voice behind you.

"Looking for me, Amor?" He said while chuckling, as you turned around you were so shocked at what you saw.

It's just him holding a bunch of amazing stuffs. Like so MANY stuffs, at those time you are already in tears as you really appreciate all of these.

"I tried my best to make this night memorable for you, hope you like-" Camilo was cutted off by you kissing his lips and smiling at him.

"Don't worry, I love it more than you ever know. I love you" You looked at him with full of love and sincerity in your eyes, as he just smiled at you.

"I love you too Mi Vida, oh before I forget, these are now yours" He said to me and you just chuckled at him.

"Here you go one big chameleon stuffed toy for you, which is a lot bigger than you and incase you miss me you can just stare at that" He said while laughing as you just pouted at him and he just kissed you. He hand me the chameleon stuff animal and you put it beside you coz it's really big and heavy to say the least.

"One boquet of blue and pink flowers for you" he handed me the boquet which you stared in awe coz it was your two favorite colors.

"And also these two boxes, open it" He said and smiled. You put the boquet on the side table and opened the boxes.

It shows a cute necklace that has the pendant of heart, it is so cute. Camill grab the necklace and put it in your neck. As you opened the next box and it has a yellow bracelet with a chameleon pendant and Camilo also put it around your wrist. At this time you are really crying.

Camill just chuckled and cupped your face while wiping the tears. "Hey, dont cry yet amor"

"This is too much Camil-" Camilo cut you off by pecking you on the lips.

"It's okay, this is for you" He said and then handed out a bunch of chocolates.

"Yeheeyy, chocolates~" You cooed and he just chuckled. You are about to give him some but you noticed that he suddenly looked nervous.

"Amor, why does it look like you're nervous?" You said laughing at him and he just chuckled nervously, sus.

"Y/N L/N, amor, I love you so much always remember that. I will love you as long as I live. Im so lucky to have you, now I know that it is not impossible to reach the moon. For you are my moon, the one who provides me light in my darkest hour, you give light to my dark world. Well I hope this relationship will stand strong. Face all the odds along way. Overcome each problems that will arrive. Prove to others that our love will last till the end. And thy words will last forever. I love you mi amor" you are currently in awe at what he just said. Camilo grabbed something from his pockets. It is a paper with a big heart design.

"What is this Cami?" You asked looking at him confused

"Just read it, vida" Camilo said and kissed your cheeks.

You opened the letter and read whats inside it. It's a poem made by him.

"When you came into my life

I was been bless that time

Love is the first word I can describe

Let me be with you so I can survive

You're my everything I want to be

On the first day that we met, my eyes sparkles with glee

Up until now, I still love you with all mighty

My heart is beating only for you

And I know you feel the same way too

Right before we had this relationship

Reality made my feelings too hard to keep

You and me are like a cute couple to clip

Mi vida,querida,baby,princesa, my love

Eternity will bring us and our love on top"

At that moment you are already crying, you were so touched on what he made for you. Thru all of these, you felt being the luckiest girl in the world to have such perfect boyfriend.

As you were reading the poem Camilo can't help but to smile because a minute by now you will be his fiancé. But still he gets nervous, and negative thoughts are running on his mind.

After you read it, you suddenly hugged Camilo while crying, as he hugged back tightly. Once you pulled away, Camilo wiped your tears away, cupping your cheeks

"I am so thankful that I have you-" Camilo cutted you off by kissing you and smiled geniunely, as his nervousness had gotten worse.

"No, I should say that. Thank you and btw c-can you like go through the poem again?" Camilo said smiling nervously.

"Oh okay then, Milo I love the poem. Don't be nervouse coz I love it" You said with a reassuring smile. Camilo mentally cursed knowing his nervousness was showing obviously.

"Look at the first letter of ever sentence" Camilo said, getting ready for the big move. Trying not to have the feeling of nervousness. Because being nervous makes everything go back to zero.

"W-I-L-L-Y-O-U-M-A-R-R-Y-M-E, Okay I don't get it" You said with confusion evident in the tone.

"You don't get it coz you spelled it, try reading it" Camilo said being confident than ever. This is it!

"Oh okay, Will You Marry-" You suddenly stopped and looked at him with wide eyes. After that you started crying, as Camilo just look at you in awe while wiping your tears away, he kinda feel bad because you cried a lot today. "—Omygosh, WILL YOU MARRY ME? C-Camilo..."

Camilo knelt with one knee on the ground and pulled the box in his pockets and opened it as it showed a beautiful and real diamond ring. Perfect ring for the perfect one.

"Mi Amor. Y/N L/N will you marry me?" Camilo asked, hoping you would say yes.

"No—"

"WHAT!?"

"Let me finish, Camilo" You scolded him as he sighed in relief, scared that was your answer.

You nodded you head as more tears fell out from you eyes. "No way I wouldn't keep you to be my husband so..YES!! I will marry you, yess!!"  Camilo can feel the tears from his eyes. YOU SAID YES!!

He stood up to hug and kiss you. But before that, Camilo put the ring on your finger first and thankfully it was a perfect fit. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. Because YOU said YES TO HIM.

"I love you Mi vida" You said and kissed him.

"I love you too Y/N Madrigal~" He said,earning a chuckle from you as hugged you for awhile. "Btw, I still have a surprise for you"

"Wait another surprise, Camilo Madrigal, I am so done crying already" you said while laughing.

"So, whats the sur-"

"FELICIDADES!!"

Everyone suddenly showed up from their hiding places as you saw both your family and his.

His family went up to hug him, mostly Pepa who was really a crying mess peppering Camilo with kisses.

Your brothers and parents also hugged you as you kept crying.

"You are not anymore our little girl" Your mother said as your father tries to calm her down.

You looked at your two older brothers and noticed that they were about to cry, as you gestured your arms as they hugged you which cause you to chuckle.

"Remember the time you two said, you're gonna cry when I will change my surname"

"Yeah, but you're not yet married and had a wedding so gonna save these tears" Your brother, Kyle said as Tyler was looking up ti stop his own tears.

The night went on as a celebration, you were so happy. Pepa would constantly cry together with your mother, as you and Camilo would both calm them down.

Everybody was happy, especially you and Camilo.

"Hey, Y/N Madrigal c'mere" Camilo said gesturing for you to come closer as he wrapped his arms around you.

"I bet you will call me that from now on, huh" You teased as he just chuckled and kiss your head.

"Ofcourse, it suits you"