#i lose confidence/interest every 3-4 days and have to struggle for a while

[lovingsoul111]

Hiii, how are you? I hope you're having an amazing day! ✨

I saw that you said that MAYBE Matt would be interested in guys... I think you know where this is going lol

How would Matt meet this lucky guy? And how would he feel after realizing he's falling for a dude for the first time? I wanna know everything, spill the beans-

(I love your posts omg)

OMG LIKE THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYTIME I GET A ASK I LIKE SQUEAL WITH JOY!!! I LOVEEEE WRITING ABOUT MATT AND BEN! 💕💕💕 ALSO YESSS QUEEN TYTY I feel like matt at first would be surprised since his whole life he’s been thinking hes straight! So when he falls for a guy? He’s like woah! But like lowkey intrigued. AHHH THANK U FOR THE COMPLIMENT HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY FR😊😊😊😊😊😊😊💕

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Matt i believe is straight, heavily drawn to femininity, seduction, fire, and charm. He’s a lover of the dark feminine: confidence, beauty, sass, mystery, wit; everything wrapped in allure. But…

Matt is also deeply, very indulgent and curious. So while his attraction leans very strongly toward women, there is a slim, very rare possibility that if a man exhibited every single trait he desires, boldness, magnetism, mind games, the chase, danger, dominance, and playfulness. Matt could become fascinated. But it would be more about the intoxicating energy than gender.

What pulls Matt in isn’t just physicality, it’s dynamics. He’s obsessed with the game, the emotional and psychological back-and-forth. The moment someone becomes predictable or too compliant, he loses interest. But when someone has that mix of:

• Playfulness (can tease him and make him laugh),

• Wit and cleverness (can banter at his level or outmaneuver him),

• Mysteriousness (doesn’t give him everything all at once),

• Charm and allure (knows how to make others want them, including him),

• Power struggles (push-pull tension, where Matt doesn’t always get the upper hand)…

he’s hooked. That’s where obsession grows. Whether that energy comes from a woman or, on EXTREMELY very rare occasions, a man, it’s that spark, that flirtation with control, that makes him burn.

In fact, Matt thrives on emotional friction. He wants light and fire: someone who dazzles, someone with presence, and most importantly, someone who isn’t afraid of his darkness and knows how to dance with it.

What Traits Might He Find Attractive in a Man (If the attraction did happen):

1. Charisma that demands attention – Not loudness, but that kind of magnetic swagger that silences a room.

2. Wit and verbal sparring – Matt loves being mentally challenged. If a man outwits him or mocks him well, he’ll take notice.

3. Playful dominance – A man who teases dominance, who doesn’t grovel or chase, but makes Matt feel like he’s not in total control.

4. Mysterious elegance – Not roughness, but refinement with edge. Polished, stylish, alluring in a way that doesn’t scream traditional masculinity.

5. Eyes that say “I dare you” — He likes the kind of look that dares him to lose.

Matt being very unlikely to fall for a man comes down to a mix of his aesthetic preferences, ego structure, and dominance wiring.

Matt has a highly visual, sensual, and tactile nature. He’s into curves, beauty, and feminine energy that exudes seduction and grace. He just likes hot women. He craves that intoxicating mix of allure, confidence, and physical softness that he sees in women. Men just don’t trigger that same visual-physical response for him.

He likes glamor, heels, lipstick, hips, and the way a woman walks like she owns the world. He lives for it.

If Matt genuinely met a man who was hot, regal, intelligent, bold, and magnetic, someone who exuded the same dark allure and intensity that usually draws him to women, it would absolutely shake him.

Here’s how it would go down:

1. Immediate Resistance – “What the hell is this?”

At first, Matt would deny and deflect. He’d brush it off with mockery, maybe flirt back in a sarcastic, teasing way, trying to test the waters while pretending it’s a joke. His ego would rebel hard, because this doesn’t fit the narrative he’s always lived by.

“bold for a guy, aren’t you? Don’t get the wrong idea, pretty boy.”

But beneath the smirk? Curiosity. Something in his chest tightens, and that’s exactly what bothers him.

2. Obsession with Control and Power Games

If the man matched his wit, challenged his authority, and made him work for dominance, Matt would get hooked on the power struggle. He lives for it, he thrives on seduction that feels like a battle of wills.

The more the man resists or teases him without crumbling under pressure, the more Matt becomes obsessed.

3. Secret Lust, Public Denial

He wouldn’t want to admit he’s drawn to this man, not even to himself at first. But it would show in how he lingers in conversation too long, how his eyes track every movement, how his tone turns sharp and low, more intimate than it should be.

“You’re troublesome. I don’t like trouble. But I’d still like to see you squirm.”

4. Emotional Confusion

The moment the man does something vulnerable, intelligent, or strikingly regal, something that feels deep, not just sexual, Matt’s emotional guard would short-circuit. Because now it’s not just attraction. Now it’s connection, and that’s dangerous.

So developing genuine feelings for a man who rivals his own fire? It would make him confront parts of himself he’s never had to deal with.

5. Reluctant Acceptance – But Only in Private

If the chemistry is undeniable and the man never falters, never becomes submissive or dull, Matt might finally, quietly give in. It would take a long time. He’d test the man constantly, push boundaries, look for cracks.

But if the man holds his own, radiating regal magnetism and dark charisma without ever lowering himself? Matt would fall. He wouldn’t call it love at first. But it would be.

“You are.. infuriating. and I can’t get you out of my head. Don’t let it go to your head.”

Could Matt ever feel passion for a man?

possibly, but only if:

• The man is charming, witty, and teasingly bold.

• There’s a consistent challenge between them.

• The man doesn’t submit, but also doesn’t try to dominate outright.

• There’s chemistry that crackles like a match about to ignite a fire.

Matt doesn’t fall in love through tenderness, he falls through obsession, fascination, and mental games. If this man made him feel alive, outwitted, wanted, and occasionally out of control? Matt would spiral into a passion he didn’t know he was capable of.

Who would be dominant?

That’s the real question, because with Matt, nothing is simple.

Full Power Struggle

The most likely dynamic would be a constant back-and-forth, like two alphas circling each other. Both would push and pull, seduce and retreat, flirt and provoke. It would never be “fixed.” One day Matt’s on top, the next he’s furious he’s not. That tension would be the heartbeat of their relationship.

“You think you’ve won? Let’s see how long that lasts.”

Final Thoughts:

It would take a man who is Matt’s equal, and in some ways, his opposite. Not submissive, not dull, but mesmerizing, sharp, and untouchably self-possessed. That kind of man? Matt wouldn’t just be attracted, he’d be haunted.

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Overall, it would be rare Matt finding romantic attraction to a man since I see him as straight, but there COULD be a possibility if he’s open minded enough!! Matt is also very indulgent and greedy! I feel like he has a curious nature so I feel like he’d possibly give it a shot if the opportunity came.

P.S Matt likes people that can make him laugh. He likes play!! 💁‍♀️ I feel like Matt would love playing tricky pranks and playing board games and watching movies with his partner! Also I hc Matt likes comedy movies 🥳

I feel like if someone were to ever be able to make Matt blush, he’s instantly intensely interested in them.

[kiwikarpart]

Art Plans for 2025 + News

Magical Girl Design Prompt Redux

In 2024, I tried to design around 30 magical girls with a different theme by the end of the year. I was not able to do this. At the start I tried to make a new design every day and got burnt out by that. After giving myself less restrictions while still following the prompt list, I ended up losing interest before getting to themes I really liked. So, for this new attempt, I'm ignoring the order of each prompt. If I think of a design for the challenge, I'll post it regardless of what day it's for. That's probably the best way to keep the challenge...a challenge, without losing the fun. Because trust me, coming up with 30 original magical girl designs that look good is challenging enough.

2. Developing Alternate Art styles

As I've been drawing, I've wanted my art to look like a lot of different things. Bad news is, one art style can't have everything you'd want. In order to stylize anything you have to exaggerate some elements, and trying to exaggerate everything usually makes it look bad. Good news is, this can be circumvented by having multiple art styles! I'm not going to set a crazy goal for myself on this, don't expect to have 10 different art styles that look exactly how I want them to look. My goal in this category is to have 3 alternate art styles that feel distinct from each other. They don't have to look perfect or even good, but if they all have a different feel from my main art style, I'm counting that as a win.

3. Colorful Cast of Characters

This is going to be a two-part challenge. The first part will focus on character design, where I have to make 6 different characters with a mostly mono color palette. That means everything from their hair to their clothes to their accessories has to be one color. The only exceptions to this rule are tones(black, grey, and white) and the skin, that can be natural if I want. For example, if I make a green character, they can have black shoes and a white shirt with brown skin, but everything else has to be a shade of green.

For the second part, I'm going to try to put all of these characters in the same world. It's more of a writing challenge than an art challenge so I won't go into detail here, but it'll be a fun creative exercise.

4. Learn How to Make Comics

I've made references to this here and there, but I want to make a webcomic. One that has a plot and story with my oc's. Unfortunately, I have no experience with making comics at all, and am not confident enough to jump into that dream comic with no experience. So in order to build that confidence, I'm going to practice paneling, perspective, and the other things that go into making comics. It'll start with fanart(because I don't have the balls to post unfunny stuff with my oc's), but I'll work my way up to oc content eventually. I haven't really shown off their character yet, to you guys they're just random character designs. I want other people to like them as much as I do, but that won't happen until I show off their personalities.

5. Post Ugly Art

"Kiwi what are you saying do you want your art to get worse-"

No! Of course I don't! What I mean by this is that I want to let go of the idea that all of the art I post here needs to be clean and finished. No artist is infallible, it should be okay to post a few rough sketches or uncolored line art, especially in Krita where it's a pain in the ass to color anything! I'm willing to bet that people wouldn't mind looser art now and then if it meant I posted more, that was definitely something I struggled with last year. So this one is less of a goal and more of a reminder.

News

As of January 1, 2025, I will no longer be posting discussion posts here. It feels a little weird making non-art posts on a supposed art blog, so this is the last post of that kind you'll see on this blog. I've made a 2nd blog for those general posts, so that this blog can be entirely focused on art.

[mimicteruyo]

Concept: what if NaNoWriMo was already over and I didn’t have to write so goddamn much every day?

[kynamo]

hello!! i just wanted to ask a few questions if that's fine

1) ur style is amazing!! i enjoy how soft it all looks - its not a question just wanted to say that

2) why do you like bkdk? not trying to be rude or anything! i'm really curious is all

3) what brushes/programs do you use, i've been curious about it for a while now

Whoa my first ask!

thank you so much!!! I'm glad you enjoy my style so much, it makes me happy to see people enjoy my art

I'll answer your third question first as that will be a much shorter response HA; I use Clip Studio Paint, as for my brushes I use all sorts of brushes that I've downloaded from the shop. But the brushes I've been using the most lately is one called 6B Pen! the content ID is: 1995920 if that helps :)

as for your second question... this will be a lengthy response! and a bit of spoilers too the further I talk (1.2k words! goddamn)

I've honestly loved both Deku and Bakugo since the beginning! Their dynamic is one of the most interesting dynamics I've seen in a while personally. I was really into MHA back in 2016-2017 (my irls that knew me then will know this as a fact) and I was a HUGE Deku fan. I remember when the panels of Bakugo getting kidnapped happened and that was WILD. I knew since the beginning that these two were not gonna just disappear from each other's lives, they were connected to each other.

Witnessing Bakugo's development made me root for him and love him. A lot of people want him to change his entire personality which doesn't make sense to me, like he wouldn't be Bakugo without the attitude. He's a flawed character who has changed for the better. I'm honestly glad it took him a while to apologize. You actually got to see the progression of him realizing that he fucked up and is genuinely sorry for what he’s done. If it had been done any sooner the apology wouldn’t have been as impactful. He wouldn’t have been as genuine otherwise. That’s HIGHLY important to him as a character. There’s so much I can say about him as a character as there’s quite a lot of depth to him that I heavily enjoy!

I’ll leave Bakugo with one final thing as I’ve said so much already gejdndn but!! I think one of the major things some people struggle with when it comes to change is that change doesn’t always mean changing every aspect of yourself. Changing every part of yourself can sometimes make you feel lost or like an impostor in your own skin. I think it’s important for Bakugo’s character to have the development to understand he isn’t invincible, that he can lose, he’s made mistakes and has been trying to make up for it, and it’s okay to feel. It’s okay to feel but you can no longer bottle it up like once before. Those days are over. But that doesn’t mean he has to change the core part of himself. He’s learned his own way of what it means to be a hero.

Yeah Bakugo is loud! He’s proud! He’s witty! He’s able to adapt to situations and he’s quick to think about what he needs to do to reach absolute victory! He’s learned the lesson that he doesn’t have to be nice, but he needs to be kind. Those are two very different things. He’s never gonna stop swearing and being a bit of a menace but you know you always got someone in your corner when you need it with him.

Deku to me is also an incredibly interesting character. In the beginning he wasn’t super confident about himself, he had to play catch-up to all of his peers when they’ve had their quirks since they were 4! That means he had to work harder, be smarter, to be adaptable as he wasn’t able to use OFA to its full potential. While everyone had years worth of practice when it came to trying to get into UA, he had less than a DAY. There was also a giant secret that was his responsibility to keep at such a young age.

A secret… that he immediately told Bakugo about.

Deku who wasn’t confident in himself, someone who was told he could never do it, a boy who had no power of his own, yet he had a soul/heart of a hero. He naturally wanted to save. The kicker is his first need to save came about because of Bakugo. Deku saw Bakugo and his body moved on it's own. There's so much to unpack with that alone! But Deku obviously had his development occur over the series.

He struggled with this idea that he had to do this alone. He was isolated from his peers due to having to keep this massive secret from them. You can see he got close to his friends, but he didn't really talk to them about himself. Yeah they were close! But he kept a lot of his guard up around them still.

He was friendly but he wasn't open.

It was interesting to witness this arc of his over time how he became more confident in himself and in his abilities to save. But there was also another set of developments that were occurring that has led us to his vigilante arc. This need to be a hero led him down isolation. He became fearful because Shigaraki figured out his weakness.

Deku doesn't want to admit to his own feelings.

Deku keeps it locked up.

And that to me is when shit gets real fascinating.

I said earlier that Bakugo has become more open over time. He's accepted his feelings and isn't trying to bottle it up any longer. Deku on the other hand who is seen having his heart on his sleeve never tells anyone what he is really thinking. Every once in a while does he actually say what's truly on his mind (“I could admire All Might from a distance, but you were right there. This amazing person in my life! That's why I always… I always… chased after you!” - Deku says this in chapter 119!) but other than that he keeps his cards rather close to his chest (“When the urge to win is stronger than the desire to save, I tend to run my mouth a little more without thinking. You'd think I'd hate myself for that, but…somewhere deep inside… It's because you're who I picture when I think of ‘victory.’” - Deku's thoughts in chapter 120!).

It wasn't until recently that we, as the readers - have been entirely closed off from what Deku is thinking. Yet there has been a new possibility that has just opened up: Bakugo's thoughts.

"Because for all of his triumphs, he was still just a damned nerd." (chapter 348!)

Holy fuck??

Everyone is pretty much certain at this point in time that Bakugo was the one narrating chapter 348. Deku closed his thought process off but Bakugo has opened up his. Quite the fucking development if I do say so myself. They somehow swapped! And I can talk for two hours about this (and I have actually! the power of neurodivergency is so real) but I should cut this much shorter HELP

This all adds up to why these guys are my favorite out of the whole series. Their separate development including how their arcs go with each other and bounce off one another is so fucking cool!! They're foils of each other and it just works. I've always been interested in characters and how they'll change over the course of time and these two have really made my brain rattle.

It's due to this that to me they just work overall. Shit you don't even have to see them in a romantic light if you really don't want to. But to me: they're partners in every sense of the word. Their relationship cannot be broken, they're always meant to have the other in their lives. And that's why I ship them.

Plus to me they're just so silly... how could you not love them???

THANK YOU IF YOU REACHED THIS FAR?? and thank you anon for asking!!!

[karmelek-writes]

comfort zone I part 4 - teaser #2

Harrison Osterfield x fem!reader, Tom Holland x fem!reader

Synopsis: What do you do when you love them but want someone else?

A/N: Hi guys! Firstly, I want to apologise for my long absence. I don't want to dwell on it too much, last month was extremely busy for me. However, I'm back now and to those who were patiently waiting for me to post - thank you for staying here and I love you guys! This is yet another teaser for part 4 of comfort zone. I'm about to finish writing it soon so I will post the whole part in a few days, but I wanted to make up for not posting for a while! I hope you're excited and I can't wait to read your thoughts! Love, W.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes!

Read part 1, part 2, and part 3

In Harrison’s mind winning you over wasn’t hard. He had a plan and it included being the best man he could be for you. Not that he normally wasn’t nice but when it came to you, he made sure to put extra effort in everything he was doing because he wanted to impress you so much. He failed to understand one thing, though, and it was his own admiration towards you. You were a good girl from a good house and Harrison knew that, he was your friend before but he couldn’t make out when he first realised he liked you and when liking you turned into being into you and when that turned into completely and utterly adoring you. His feelings crushed at him at the most unexpected moment and it scared him and thrilled at the same time. He was eager because you never failed to keep him on his toes, making him submit to you and falling in love with you every single day but also afraid because he never in his life felt such intense feelings towards any girl and he didn’t quite know what it meant for him. However, Harrison wasn’t stupid. He was more than aware of Tom’s feelings for you even if the man himself wasn’t yet. The way Tom spoke about you, with how much love your name rolled out of his mouth started making Harrison sick to his stomach. He was Tom’s friend but he couldn’t bring himself to stop talking to you or blocking you from his life. Harrison was breaking the bro code and he hated to be that person but he didn’t want to choose between love and friendship. That’s why he never told Tom about you. In his eyes, you and Harrison were just good friends who reconnected after losing contact. The blonde didn’t have the heart to reveal the truth, especially when Tom was venting to him about how he fucked up your friendship and how bad he wanted you back. He didn’t even have the courage to back up when the oldest Holland asked him for help with winning you back. That’s how he knew that Tom was about to call you tonight to make things right and that was the reason for your little adventure. Well, it wasn’t the only reason because he still wanted to do something nice for you and spend some quality time together but he still wished you forgot about Tom. He wished that after today you would see that Harrison was better for you than the bruette, because even though he was assured of your mutual attraction, he knew you still liked Tom. Another thing was that Harrison knew he was always the second choice. Most girls only talked to him to get with Tom and he was sick of being treated like a means to an end. Once in his life he wanted to be the chosen one, he wanted you to choose him. He hated himself for competing with his best friend for your favours, but what made him feel even worse was using Tom’s feelings to his advantage. Despite everything, they were still best friends. Harrison had Tom’s plan of making you like him again written in his head that’s why he was ten steps ahead in their game. He didn’t like referring to you as a prize someone could win, you weren’t an object that could satisfy anyone but that was how he felt - like a player who was too proud to back up even if he knew he should. The truth was Harrison was desperate. It’s been too long since he got a sense of comfort from someone, since he felt needed and wanted, and to his liking and hating, since someone made his skin burn just by a simple brush or caused his blood rush south just by glancing at him. He wanted- no, he needed that intimacy. He did what he did because it’s been too long since he felt like he was alive.

“Hey, are you okay?” your sweet, dripping with concern voice brought Harrison back to harsh reality.

“Oh, sorry. Yes, yes, I’m okay,” he didn’t know if he was trying to convince you or himself but it seemed to work as your full of worry eyes gleamed with their usual playfulness.

“You haven’t been listening to anything I said, have you?” a lopsided smile and apologetic glance sent your way were enough to confirm your suspicion. “It’s okay, it wasn’t anything interesting anyway,” you faked a chuckle to relieve some tension as you felt stupid for rambling. That must have been the reason Harrison zoned out, you thought, mentally scolding yourself for boring him.

“Hey, hey, no! Look at me, please,” at his plea you moved to face the blonde and you immediately melted just from looking straight into his ocean blue eyes. “I’m sorry for zoning out. Please, don’t think that I’m not interested in what you’re saying. It’s just um…” you sent him a warm smile noticing the hesitation in his melodic voice hoping it would help him to open up. The trick did its job as Harrison giggled at you. “It isn’t fair, you know?” he groaned playfully.

“What are you talking about?” you played stupid, sending him another “innocent” smile.

“THIS is what I’m talking about! You can’t just smile at me like that, it makes my knees weak and I want-” Harrison bit his tongue just in time to stop himself from saying something he’d regret later. He wasn’t ready to tell you about his feelings yet, as horrible as it sounded he needed to take Tom out of the picture first.

“And you want…” you didn’t let him get away with continuing, as you nodded at him to go on. Harrison cursed under his breath, not sure what to do next.

“I’ve just been having a rough time lately,” his mood shifted slightly and you probably wouldn’t notice if it wasn’t for him fidgeting with his fingers. You picked up that it was one of the things he used to do when he was nervous so you took matters into your own hands to lighten up the mood. You took his hand into yours, fingers intertwining with his as you squeezed his palm to silently assure him of your presence and support. Turning to face him you made a bold move to place a gentle kiss right at the corner of his mouth. You didn’t know what gave you confidence but you wanted to make him feel better, to show him you were there for him too. Pulling out slightly you made a mistake to avert your gaze from his lips and look him in the eyes. It felt as if the time stopped when Harrison subtly titled his head to the side without breaking eye contact. Desire evident in his azure irises consuming your soul, yet he hesitated to press his soft lips to your own. Noses brushing, you could feel his hot and uneven breath on your burning skin. Suddenly you forgot how to breathe, too occupied by the rapid heartbeat buzzing in your ears to pay attention to Harrison’s thumb caressing your rosy from excitement cheek.

“Whatever it is that you’re struggling with, I’m here for you,” you were scared to speak up so as not to ruin the sweet moment, so you whispered the words as delicately as you could, wishing that it could last forever. Harrison nodded at you, implying that he understood what you tried to say, too busy admiring your beauty from up close. After seeing his stare wandering on your features you suddenly became highly alerted of every single imperfection evident on your skin. Insecure of yourself, you turned away to look at the smouldering flames, too embarrassed to notice Harrison’s loving gaze.

Taglist: @osterfieldshollandgirl, @tom-holland-is-spiderman-archive, @harryhollandsgirlfriend, @peachyafshawn, @whltlock

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, im gonna start combing the two separate submissions again cause its getting too short to have them separate I think?

1: His possession messed with memories Ranbob had before, so memories of school friends or playing with Ran were distant to erased. Though after Dreams possession it was also harder to make and keep memories. But thankfully as Ranbob was recovering from Dream and got futher away making memories came eaiser to him, though he'll never get back the memories he lost. 

3: Oh he would very quickly grow to regret his decision, but it would be funny. And Benjamin would later admit that while it was annoying and stressful, it was also fun and he was very happy to have his two families meet and generally get along. 

8: Everyone is just in shocked silence before Cletus just goes "YEAHHHHHHHHHH!" Oddly happy that Ranboo committed so much arson. Oh definitely, after all the outcasts of society where put there. Of course people would make such negative rumors about Mizu and treat the people as the scum of the earth. Though this also means, people don't know what happened in Mizu, and anyone who knows, view it in a more happy and a "Their finally gone" type of way, then viewing it as the tragedy it was. 

Spoons is a card game technically. A group of people sit in a group and everyone gets 4 cards, and you keep discarding at least 1 card of yours to the person on your left, who then does the same to their person on their left, the last person in the group puts a card into a discard pile. The goal is to get 4 of the same cards, and once someone gets 4 of the same cards, that person goes and grabs a spoon in a pile in front of them (let's say there's 5 players, theres only going to be 4 spoons cause there's always a spoon less than the people playing), once they grab one anyone can grab a spoon. And the person who doesn't get a spoon gets a S added to them, once Spoons is spelled the person gets out of the game, and a spoon gets removed to continue the game. Basically for flowers its played the exact same way but with flowers in the middle expect for spoons.

11: I just imagine Dream sulking in a corner as you yell at him and him going like "well I didn't know…" as he kicks a stone. And he wasnt sure what it was, but quickly jumped on the idea that maybe it was the fact that Ran was still alive somewhere, and that that's causing Ranbob to willingly let himself become weak and defy him. Causing Dream to become angrier at Ran and punish Ranbob harder. 

----

3: During the brothers fight in the storm, and after everyone runs off to find Ranbob, Ran is left alone. And he decides to just wander off into the storm, not protecting himself from the rain so he does get burnt. The whole time he's lost deep in thought and isn't really paying attention. He continues to wander for a whole day unfollowed (because after the Gladiators and Fishermen came back to the cave after finding Ranbob they are in no rush to find Ran and decide to look for him after the storm passes, which takes a full day) and at some point Raq finds him wandering. Which Raq then uses Rans distraction to his advantage and attacks him. At first only really the gladiators where concerned when they found Ran gone. But once they found him blinded and terrified everyone felt awful and a looming sense of guilt. And everyone continued to feel that way, even after they got the antidote and Ran started to see again.

4: They would just leave Ranbob alone and check in on him every now and again. But generally let him deal with it himself. They'd feel guilty leaving him alone, but they also know that they can't really do anything for him as their not prepared or briefed on how to help him in this situation. 

10: Oh definitely, even with Ran blinded they would've been kicked out immediately for fighting, without even a second glance. Dont forget, Ran still cares for his brother. And maybe, losing his sight made him face the side of him that wanted to become family again with Ranbob, maybe it brought enough to light that he just can't ignore it anymore. Mostly only negative potions can be permanent, like posion, blinding, wither, and nausea (I know the last like 3/2 are effects but they've also found a way to make effects into potions.). You already know what a antidote for blindness would be. A antidote for wither would be, a ghast tear (actually a basic ingredient for almost every antidote), blaze powder, and glistening melon to make a overpowered healing potion. Antidote for posion would be ghast tear, swiftness (so it acts fast to get rid of the posion), and the 3rd ingredient depends on what kind of posion it  was (posion that has a side effect of constricting or filling the lungs with water? Pufferfish and Turtle shell for last ingredients. Posion that has weakness? Blaze powder, and glistening melon) And antidote for nausea would be ghast tear, and potion of slowness to allow the person to slowly feel better, so their nausea doesn't hit them all at once before disappearing, which can cause them to throw up or have side effects. 

13: Thats exactly what they did. 

14: Jackie will 100% attempt to fight God and no one can stop him. :) (to be honest im not sure yet, I know I want to do more with Raq and have the idea that maybe he could be the person that finds Dream and gets him out of Mizu, but that's pretty often used in stories and I want to try to think of something more unique. Maybe I'll have it so Raq actually manages to capture the brothers or at least one of them and uses them as blackmail?)

15: When Ranbob was a child and Ran was just a baby Ranbob would often take Ran out of his crib and take him to go watch the fish swim by. When Ran was old enough he'd follow Ranbob everywhere, even a few times he managed to sneak into Ranbobs class room and almost wasn't caught. Ran got extremely clingy one day and managed to gather his haunting all up into his arms and carried them around, even though he was obviously struggling. And Ranbob used to complain about his teachers and idiotic classmates whenever he got home, which is funny when you consider Ran was very impressiable at the time and Ran started mimicking Ranbob, leading to him cursing, much to Ranbobs dismay. 

And im curious, do you have any questions that I havent answered? Or do you have any ideas for anything? I'd love to hear whatever you have to say about anything honestly!

Course! I dont have much lore wise other than they go to Kelalen and when they hear Dream is still around they decide to stay back to help fight him. But the idea I have is that Karl is just kinda hanging with everyone I listed, talking about allies or treaties when his time traveling clock/watch starts to go off, and he panics, but sadly in his haste to stop it he makes it worse and it grabs everyone, where they end up in the future. After hours of confusion and explaining they calm down. When 2 days later they find the Gladiator and Fishermen group, at first Karl is strongly against going to then for help, but everyone basically ignores him and go to ask for help. Hours of explanation and proof giving later the GF (Gladiator and Fishermen, got tired of writing it out) group sadly tells them that they cant really help. Until Ran (who was previously gone searching the surrounding area and making sure it was safe) appears high up on a tree (cause I just can't get the image of Ran on a tree and looking comfortable and confident as hell out of my head), and says that maybe Kelalen can help, if not going to Foolish may be a good alternative. Isaac, and Grievous are extremely against going back (at this time a 2 months have past since they left Kelalen)n saying it could be dangerous but Ran just aboustely shoots them down, along with Watson and Jackie agreeing with Ran, and Karls group agreeing to it. They head off to Kelalen. And Jackie is extremely excited at the potential of going to see Foolish finally. And it'd probably be like a sub au where the brothers au is the main backbone for it but at a certain point it separates from the au and becomes its own.

1: Okay, ouch. Can you imagine if Ran brought one of those memories up, and just had Ranbob look confused, or horrified, depending on how quick he realizes what happened? How would Ran react to that realization, both before and after he forgives Ranbob?

3: If nothing else, everyone got some laughs from it-even Benjamin, once his friends were far, far away from his family and not able to teach them more chaos. 

8: Cletus, why are you so happy? Do you just enjoy knowing chaos existed back then? Are you an arsonist? What’s up with you? 

Also, wow. Not cool, other city people, that’s very mean.

Spoons sounds like it’s interesting, I might try it sometime. Did the group just have those cards on them? What other games did they have?

11: Good, put Dream back in the corner, I’m gonna be yelling more. Because, seriously dude? I know you probably exist solely out of spite, but c’mon. Admittedly, from a certain point of view, it could be considered amusing that your first thought was that Ranbob was making himself weaker out of defiance/spite but like. From a more responsible and mature viewpoint, that’s incredibly stupid, and I-just. Buddy, hate to tell you, but I’m pretty sure that’d just be a you thing. Besides you were in Ranbob’s head, didn’t he think Ran was dead? It doesn’t even make sense. Good lord, I’m half-tempted to get the broom and chase you around like you’re a particularly unruly barn cat. 

------

3: First of all, that sounds really scary for Ran. Second of all, are we getting an overprotective arc?

4: Kind of sad, but understandable, they’re dealing with the situation as best they can.

10: Even if the group was provoked by the townspeople? Potions sound really cool, wish I could make those in real life, tbh.

13: W-what do you mean ‘that’s exactly what they did’? Anon, is your friend, like, a legit gremlin? I’m spooked. 

14: Foolish takes one look at Jackie, wearing a smile that exactly matched Tubbo’s when he was about to cause chaos, and immediately nopes out of that. He knows that face, and he will not be getting tangled into a fight with a goblin child today, no sir. I’m sure Jackie tries regardless though. (Also, that sounds like that goes horribly, do we get an overprotective ender-sibling, for whoever gets captured or used as blackmail, if that’s what you do?)

15: I love all of these so much, oh my gosh. Baby Ran seeing the fishes and following his big brother around. Poor Ranbob’s face when his baby brother cursed one day, Ran trying to carry all of his haunting. I’m in tears, honestly. 

Umm...I can’t think of anything right now, to be honest. If I ever do have a question or idea though, I’ll through it on the Brothers AU tag for you to check out, I guess. 

Oh, this sounds really cool. The part about them just ignoring their local time traveler when they’ve just time traveled particularly amuses me, as does Jackie wanting to see Foolish-I feel like Foolish may be a little more than terrified to see both Tubbo and Jackie back, honestly. Why was Ran willing to help them so much? What did they do to offer proof? How did Ranbob react once they proved who they were? How does all the group get along? Are they Ranboo’s haunting, and if so, if Ranboo gets close with his descendants, does he merge his hauntings with theirs? How does the time group feel about the Brothers fighting, and Ranbob’s possession?

[storysofmyown]

Obey me! The passing of time

Plot: One by one, the brothers start to notice how Mc changes as time goes by.

Warning: None that I can think of

Word Count:2480 words

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It started slow, very slow. You never noticed, of course you didn't. For you, this was something entirely normal but for the demons, it wasn't. After all, they could live for millenniums without suffering much but a cold but... for a human well... that's another story.

So no, you didn't notice as you grew older and started to look older, but the brothers certainly did.

The first one to notice was Asmodeus. The two of you were in one of those intense cuddling sessions; while he stroked your hair, he suddenly noticed a white hair. It made him froze in an instant.

Aging

It was such a slow process for them, for demons, angels and alike. But for humans, humans didn't even have a fraction of a demons life span. They all knew it. Humans were so fragile that even sleeping in a wrong position could hurt them. Yet, here you were. A human, surrounded by demons and still being able to hold your self with such confidence, sometimes even he forgot you were not one of them. Nevertheless, here you were mortal. Because you were human after all.

Asmodeus stared at your sleeping face, so peaceful... It made his heart ache, how has he gotten so close to you? To appreciate you as much as he does? To cherish you, to adore you...to love you? That night, he vowed to make the best of the time you two spend together. Occasionally, you noticed his sad face while painting your nails... but you never mentioned it.

The next one to notice was Belphegor; you usually napped together after classes every day, to get your energy up. However, he started to notice unusual sleeping patterns, the way you slept less at night and more during the day. At first, he thought it was probably Leviathan keeping you awake while gaming at night or watching some anime, but when Levi made a comment about you not connecting in a few days it sunk in.

He had researched human aging once, not because he cared or any deeper reason. He was just curious. He read that getting older, for some people, implied changes in their sleep routine. After that, he started noticing how tired you were often, the black circles underneath your eyes.

Ever since that day, he found himself thinking of Lilith, death, and mortality. Why? There wasn't any real reason, but just something in his heart that made him remember of how long ago his time at the Celestial Realm was every time he looked at you.

Ever since that, Belphie makes sure you go to bed at a reasonable hour, and even uses just a little of his demon powers to make sure you get enough sleep, and if sometimes he stayed awake just to look at you sleep... well that was for him to know and for you to never find out.

Next, was Lucifer. You both had fallen into a kind of routine; you would help him organize papers and such, nothing too important, just to help him around with minor stuff. Today was one of those days. He was looking at some papers and he gave you the ones that weren’t so important to either categorize or to dispose of. He lifted his gaze from the papers for just one second and noticed that something was off. The scene before him… it wasn't quite right. Maybe it was the fact that you had been looking at the same paper for 4 minutes trying to figure out where it belongs, or how your figure seemed... smaller for some reason.

As he stared at you, he suddenly remembered something. The Exchange Program you had participated in ended a while ago, but you had chosen to stay with them. He tied the knots by figuring that, yes, some time had passed since then and it was normal you didn't look the same. So, he kept reading a paper but then realization hit him…. the exchange program ended more than 15 years ago.

It cut him like a knife. It felt like yesterday you had just gotten into the Devildom and now... it had been more than 15 years. For him, it felt like nothing, but for you, a mere human, it must feel like a lifetime ago. Lucifer put the paper down, and suggested you two went out for dinner that night.

You found it odd, but not unwelcomed, and if this started to become a habit between the two... well you sure were not going to question it.

Then, it was Satan the one who noticed. You were reading with him, when he saw you struggling to read some words. You kept shuffling the book closer and then further from you, making weird faces and sighing in frustration. He put it down as you not being particularly interested in that book. So he suggested that the two of you took a break and watched the new episode of a detective show they were airing.

However, it kept happening every time you read together. So, one day Satan surprised you with a trip to the human world… but for medical reasons, he took you to an oculist. While waiting for you, he was reading a book, and he saw an old person walk by him. He then looked at the book and the first word his eyes saw hurt him.

Death

He read around thousands of books explaining humans. From the way their minds worked on a psychological and biological way, to the way a human’s body rotted after dead. Quite fascinating, but the thought of that happening to you... made him land from his fantasyland. Once you came out you, to no one's surprise, announced that you needed reading glasses, he only smiled and told you to pick whatever style you preferred. As you looked around and asked for his opinion on the glasses, Satan noticed another thing.

Even if you were getting older, your spirit was still the same. And that made him smile genuinely. Afterwards, he seemed to be more and more interested in your health and stuff like that, you really didn't question it, your memory was already bad, so it was not bad to have someone remind you to take your vitamins.

Beelzelbub has been sneaking into the kitchen every night of his long life. But specifically, tonight he sneaked into the kitchen and found you, bent over the counter with just a glass of water. He smiled and asked if you were also hungry, but you shook your head, explaining that the dinner you had eaten earlier made your stomach ache and you just wanted some water.

Beelzelbub stared in confusion, after all it was not often food made him feel ill. But lately, this has been something that happened to you a lot. He figured his midnight snack could wait and gave you a hug, hoping it will make you feel better. You smiled and hugged him back, resting against him.

You felt... tired and it wasn't because it was almost midnight or because you had a tummy ache... no, it was a different type of tiredness. After a while, you smiled at Beel and went back to your room. Beel staid in the kitchen, not eating but thinking. He was worried about you; Lucifer mentioned the other day a little off of hand that you seemed weaker.

Beel didn't pay much attention to it, until now. His mind went from Lilith to you, how that affected him, and suddenly, the answer was clear. Beel slumped in himself and tried hard not to wake anyone up on the way to his room. Ever since that day, he asked you to work out with him, even for just a little bit, and the intense cuddling sessions were now even more intense.

The truth was he was scared of losing you too. Only Belphie knew that, and he planned to keep it like that. And if the nightmares ever shifted from Lilith to you well... at least he had you to hold his hand... for now.

It was 3 am... and if Belphegor knew you were awake at this unholy hour he might kill Leviathan and never let you sleep alone in your room again. But here you were, Levi had told you he would be binging one of his favorite animes all night, and you just had to watch it with him. So there you were, 3 am and both, you and Levi, watching anime.

Levi was all excited about the story, the characters, and the plot but you... not so much. So, you ended up falling asleep. Once Levi noticed, he muttered something about how your normie blood had taken the better of you, before falling silent as he kept watching the anime. There, right in the middle of the screen, the protagonist best friend had been killed. Blood was everywhere and the episode ended. Levi's eyes fell on you.

You were Levi's only friend, and the thought of losing a friend made him break a bit. He’s been noticing how you have changed in the passing of time, but he never actually stopped to think of the implications of that. Humans die, very, very easily. He wasn't certain on how much longer you would be around to spend time with him, do cosplays, and talk about anime or manga. He was going to be as lonely as the Lord of the Shadows was before Henry became their friend.

Leave his room? He never did such thing. At least not for a few days after that realization hit him... but then he realized that he was wasting SO MUCH TIME. So, after that, wherever you were, Levi was. He started to talk more about your own interests and stuff. It was nice, he learned new stuff about you, and while the thought of losing you always lingered in the back of his head, he wanted to be close to you no matter what.

Now Levi spent less than 4 hours in his room during the day, it was a miracle really... that was something absolutely no one has ever done before. And honestly, you were not going to question it.

Finally, Mammon, THE Great Mammon noticed. You two were walking in town after one of his photoshoots. He was going on and on about how amazing he was while you trailed behind him... really behind him. Once he noticed, he slowed his pace to match yours. You started talking about something else entirely when suddenly your D.D.D rang. While you answered he checked the hour, and upon looking at his background, he felt a part of himself die.

As his background, he had set a picture of you and him. Not taken too long ago, just a few years... or so he thought. You looked so different. Your hair was now entirely white, matching his; he noticed the wrinkles around your face and the glasses that you now had to use all the time. Mammon fell silent. You informed him that Lucifer had called and wanted you two home now. He just nodded and didn’t say a word for the rest of the walk. You found it weird because... well, because it's Mammon, but you didn't mention it.

That night, Mammon didn't go to your room. He stayed in his, thinking about everything. Thinking how he didn’t notice that you were growing old. He was always with you, ALWAYS. It was impossible for HIM to not notice. Yet here he was, wondering how time slipped between his fingers, and now who knows how much time you would spend together. Mammon cried... all night, no one knew because he made sure it was a silent cry... but the idea of losing someone he cared about so much. IT hurt when Lucifer confiscated Goldie, and he knew losing you would feel the same... who was he kidding? It was going to be worse, so much worse. And so, he cried, but only for that night, the next day he was his usual self just... now he was aware. Suddenly he was being super kind to you and buying you stuff.

It weirded you out but it was fine, you let him have it... you knew what it was about. You started at him with a smile on your lips, ruffled his hair and made snarky comment about him already being broke and to stop spending in you.

If Mammon never left your side before just imagine now. And he was not the only one. You were constantly followed around by a group of demons that wanted to spend time with you. You knew why, but you never mention it... why would you?

Mammon and the others had never talked about it, they refused to do so but whenever you didn't look, they looked at each other, and with sad expression, they made sure to take in the moment, to save it in their hearts.

It was night. You and the seven brothers have been having a horror night but you were tired already. Your entire body ached. And halfway through the movie you fell asleep.

You woke up by a hand shaking you, once you opened your eyes you saw Lucifer. You smiled at him, sat up, and, to everyone surprise, hugged him. Blame it on your half-asleep state, but you dared to hug him, and even give him a kiss on the cheek. Then proceed to hug and kiss every other brother.

No one knew what had gotten into you, but once you kissed Belphegor and were about to say good night, Beel and Asmo pulled you into another hug, and before you realized, you were in a cuddle mountain with ALL the brothers. Lucifer may have taken a little convincing but at the end, he joined you all. After an intense two hours of cuddling, you went to your room. As you laid down in the bed with a smile plastered on your lips, you felt... at peace. With how your life had been up to this point, with how much you loved those seven idiots. Yeah, you really loved them.

During breakfast the next day, none of the brother ate. Not even Beelzeebub, they all waited patiently for you, they wanted to wait for you, even though... all of them knew you were not going to come down the stairs.

That's how it was, humans are born and humans die in less time than any other creature. It was the sad reality of their world, and as the brothers waited for a human that was never going to come down the stairs, all they could think about was you. It was sad, but it was true. And even if they were never going to see you, again... they really were grateful for everything.

*********************************

Hello sweeties, this is actually the first fan fic I've ever made. I could not get this idea out of my head so I just had to write it. Hope y'all enjoy it!

[fairytalelover33]

Hello my dear! Could I please get a matchup for Harry Potter (both Golden Trio and Mauraders) and Lotr? Thanks so much

✨ I’m an autistic disabled girl who would like to male ship please! Because of my chronic illnesses, I’m often anxious and need to rest a lot to manage my pain and fatigue. I stim by pacing in circles!!

✨ I’m big on crafts, especially Drawing, Writing and Sewing.

✨ Because of my disabilities, I'm very short, only 4' 11" tall (149.86 cm). I have very wavy brown hair that's either loose, or up on a low bun. I have very pale skin that's covered in moles and blemishes, and I flip between being insecure and confident a lot

✨ If this matters to you, I'm a Ravenclaw / Pukwudgie (Ilvermorny houses) / INFP / Aquarius / Apollo Cabin, Daughter of Apollo (Percy Jackson)

✨ I’m known to hold onto people’s arms and hold their hand when I’m nervous, which is basically always. I’m very big on physical comfort

✨ I LOVE Fictional Creatures like from Dungeons & Dragons or Zelda, and I can infodump for days about the fantasy worlds I like. If I were in a Fantasy World, I would definitely be some sort of researcher or professor!!

✨My love languages includes Infodumping, Making playlists for people I love, “This reminded me of you” and Gift Giving

✨ I hate possessive people, but I also need a partner who will lowkey protect me. I’m very small, and I worry about defending myself

✨ My loved ones always say that I know a little something about basically everything. My Special Interests include Herbal Medicine, Lord of the Rings, Biology, Cryptozoology, Non-human Creatures, Dungeons & Dragons, Agriculture, Witchcraft, Superstitions, Animation and Legend of Zelda. I’m a random fact machine, basically

✨ I’m really really smart, but I can lack common sense sometimes. I can understand very complex biological processes with ease, but I also struggle to understand a push-pull door and can struggle in social interactions a lot too

Thanks so much!! I hope you're doing well hun, keep being lovely!

For Harry Potter, (Marauders Era), I ship you with: Remus Lupin!

•He LOVES when you give him all of the info of something you’re currently interested in. He’ll get super into the conversation and ask you millions of questions, you are extremely intriguing to him

•He will never be possessive of you. He understands boundaries quite well. However he will also protect you in any situation

•He loves finding his little Ravenclaw at breakfast every morning. Sometimes he hates being in different houses because he can’t see you as often, but then he remembers that in Ravenclaw you’re safe from his friends shenanigans

•He loves how short you are. He can easily pick you up, and when he does so he either peppers your face with kisses or spins you around until you’re both dizzy

•Occasionally he’ll sneak into your dormitory, you know what for. 😉 CRAFTS!!! What else would I have said? 🤨

•You guys constantly lose track of time when he sneaks into your common room. You’ll both talk about your day, books you read, while the fire crackles away. Sometimes if you’re lucky, you can lay your head on his lap as he goes into a detailed story of what Sirius screwed up that day <3

For Harry Potter, (Golden Trio Era), I ship you with: Cedric Diggory!

•He is extremely understanding of your illnesses. He will reassure you that it doesn’t change who you are to him, he loves every single part of you. He will encourage you to rest when you need it, and he’ll never give you a hard time when you decide you need a break.

•One of his favorite ways to be near you is to brush your hair, and then braid it or do a new hairstyle. He’s done research on new hairstyles, and whenever he succeeds at a new one he gives a little whoop. It’s calming to him to be able to play with your soft, wavy hair.

•He loves asking you random questions that nobody would know just to playfully tease you. However ninety-nine percent of the time you know, so it kindof backfires

•He may be a Hufflepuff, but he will defend you viciously if you are ever in danger

•For instance, one time in Moody’s class, Moody used Imperio on a giant spider, and was having it float around to students. When the spider got to you, Moody made it land on your head. Like any normal human would, you shrieked, and just like that the spider was gone. Everything happened too fast for you to understand, but suddenly Cedric was shouting at the teacher, and the next you were yanked from your seat and out of the class. Looking up at the person who grabbed you, it was Cedric with a clenched jaw and a venomous expression on his face. “How dare he… I oughta…” he kept muttering, (It would take some reassuring from you that you were in fact OK before he would calm down) <3

For LOTR, I ship you with: Aragorn!

•He knows you worry about being able to protect yourself, so he teaches you different fighting techniques to use if he somehow couldn’t get to you one day.

•I imagine he wouldn’t be keen on you going on the journey. He knows you struggle with chronic illnesses, and there wouldn’t be a lot of rest time. It would kill him inside to see you suffering. However it’s not out of the question, so if you really wanted to go he’ll hear you out, and will be alright with your decision

•Aragorn adores how much random knowledge you have. It can sometimes be lifesaving.

•He finds your thought process so lovable. How you think through complicated things with ease, but simple things cause a slight dilemma. He never questions your brightness or smarts, he just finds it cute.

•Aragorn will always remember the day you were all brought to Lothlorien. Gandalf had fallen, and everything seemed bleak. He was waiting for you to return, Lady Galadriel had summoned you, wanting to speak. That was when he saw you, crossing the grass towards him. You had bathed and changed into a flowing powder-blue elvish dress. Your hair was freshly brushed and there was an Ethereal glow to your skin. Suddenly things didn’t look so hopeless. Whenever that day was mentioned, he stated that you looked like an Angel <3

I hope you liked this, so sorry it took so long. Have an amazing day!! ❤️

-J

[dazzlingstarlight]

25 words for Jubal Valentine

Hi everyone, thanks for sending so many words! Thank you to the anon who asked for some Jubal sentences – all of these 25 words are for Jubal and I hope you like them!

1. Talents

Jubal is surprised when the new SAC asks about his team, and he tells her that Maggie and OA are great partners and Kristen is a highly talented analyst, and Dana stares at him thoughtfully for a long moment before she nods and says, “Okay then, let’s get to work.”

2. Experience

A year later, Jubal repeats the experience with another new SAC, but this time he tells Isobel that Maggie and OA are rock solid together, and while Kristen is green in the field, he has no doubt that she’ll learn fast from her new partner Scola.

3. Hug

It wasn’t an easy search, but it’s a happy reunion when Maggie and OA finally bring two missing children back to 26 Fed, and their parents squeeze them as tightly as they can through tears of joy and relief, and Jubal decides that maybe he should stop by and see his kids tonight and make sure to hug them tight.

4. Enough

There are two suspect photos posted on the screen in the JOC, and Jubal looks over Ian’s shoulder as he combs through their financials, and when he finds a series of simultaneous deposits into each one’s bank account, Jubal gives Ian an approving clap on the shoulder and tells him to call Maggie and OA because it’s enough to bring them in.

5. Secure

Ian is having trouble downloading some security footage and he’s a little surprised when Jubal asks if there’s a secure server with double firewalls and triple encryption, and then Jubal gives him a smug grin and says, “What, you think I don’t pick up any of this stuff from hanging around you guys in the JOC?”

6. Ring

Maggie and OA have been chasing a drug smuggling ring for a couple of weeks, and they think it might help to put someone on the inside, and Jubal tells them he knows a guy and when they ask where they can find him, Jubal says it’s one of his old aliases, so they’re already looking at him.

7. Please

Jubal adjusts the camera and the wire hidden in his shirt, and he hears Scola confirm that the audio and video are loud and clear, and OA asks if he’s ready for this, and Jubal scoffs a little and says, “Please, boys, let me show you once again why the ladies call me Mr. Valentine.”

8. Distraction

Jubal is calm and confident – and maybe even a bit cocky – as he strolls up to the front door, sporting an expensive designer suit with two beautiful women hanging attentively on each arm, and the two guards that block the door can’t take their eyes off Maggie and Kristen which creates just enough of a distraction to let OA and Scola knock them out from behind.

9. Longing

Sometimes when he and Sam are cheering on the bleachers at his son’s soccer games, Jubal thinks that they look like a normal, happy family – and then he thinks that maybe he’s longing for something that just isn’t there anymore.

10. Helpless

As FBI agents, they’re committed to helping people every day, but when it’s one of their own lying in a hospital bed, Jubal hates the way he feels so helpless, and he keeps snapping the elastic band around his hand again and again and again.

11. Affection

Jubal has had just about enough of the CIA agent chattering in his ear, telling him why he can’t send his field agents barging into a suspect’s home, and he finally faces the man and growls enough to make him back off a little: “Okay, sir, I realize there’s never been a whole lot of affection between the FBI and the CIA, but you’re on FBI turf now, and that means we do it our way.”

12. Bond

The elderly man sitting in interrogation has refused to talk for a good hour, and Jubal knows they’re losing valuable time, so he tries a new approach in a gentler tone: “Mr. Carson, I know you don’t want to betray your son because I have a son of my own and I know there’s a bond between a father and his son that shouldn’t ever be broken, but we need your help.”

13. Trust

Mr. Carson’s eyes are glistening with tears, and he shakes his head hopelessly, mumbling over and over that he just doesn’t want his son to get hurt, and Jubal kneels next to him and says, “Sir, I understand that, and that’s why you have to trust that we’ll do everything we can to get your son home safely.”

14. Pair

Whenever Jess LaCroix’s team rolls into town, Jess and Jubal always make an interesting pair as Jess follows his hunches and Jubal follows his facts and somehow they both manage to put the criminal behind bars and get the job done.

15. Reaction

Jubal isn’t sure how Scola is going to react to another partner – Tiffany is the third partner for him in less than a year, now that Kristen has moved on and Emily was only temporary – but he introduces her anyway and Scola is his usual self, shaking her hand and saying “looking forward to working with you” and then getting right back to work again.

16. Anger

It’s the alcohol that made him angry then, when he spent every night so wasted that he couldn’t even stand on his own two feet, and it’s still the alcohol that makes him angry now, for how much he hurt himself and his career and his family.

17. Sweat

When Jubal tries to remember his relationship – or rather, his affair – with Rina, he’s ashamed to admit that all he can remember is a few steamy, sweaty nights in bed – and the strong stench of alcohol.

18. Addiction

While Jubal has worked hard to overcome his addiction, he’s always wary of the little things that make it all too easy to remember the way he used to be, the cases that he should have worked harder on, the cases that he should have been sober for – and the cases where the victims struggled with their own substance abuse and he couldn’t do anything to help them.

19. Beginning

That’s why Jubal is proud to become a sponsor – to be there for someone else from the very beginning – because he’s been through it all and he knows how hard it is to explain to someone who hasn’t, and because he doesn’t want anyone else to make the same choices and he wants to give someone else a second chance.

20. Break

Isobel gives him a disapproving look, and Jubal knows the sting he’s proposing is risky, but he has faith in his field agents’ skill and his analysts’ intel, so when Isobel tells him that the ADIC will make their lives very difficult if things go wrong, Jubal just shakes his head and tells her that this team isn’t going to break.

21. Training

Jubal has been negotiating a hostage situation for hours and when it escalates to the point where there’s imminent danger to the civilians, he makes the hard call to take the shot, and he closes his eyes with a heavy sigh because no training can ever really prepare an agent for endings like this.

22. Bed

His daughter’s grip around his neck is cutting off his air supply, but Jubal can’t complain too much because she’s just so excited to see her father, and he sets her down and tells her to go put on her pajamas, and even though it feels awkward, Jubal still tells Sam thank you for letting him tuck his kids into bed that night.

23. Grief

When Jubal just happens to know a strip club on the East Side because he walks by it on his way to the subway, he doesn’t miss the smirk that Kelly and Elise share and he wonders how much grief they would give him if they knew he accidentally bumped into a woman on the street outside of the club and he’s thinking about asking her out for coffee…maybe.

24. Help

When OA tells Jubal that Maggie will be gone for a few days because she’s getting her sister settled in at the rehab center, Jubal is more than understanding and privately he wishes that someone like Maggie had gotten him that kind of help before it was too late for his own addiction.

25. Morning

Scola and Tiffany fall into the easy routine of bringing morning coffee and pastries to the JOC, and Jubal is grateful to them for fueling his crew because there’s always another new case, and he calls “eyes up!” so their focus is on the screen, and then it’s time to go to work again.

[blause]

Why Azula Doesn’t Deserve a Redemption Arc

With the Avatar Renaissance, I've seen quite a few people say that Azula deserved a redemption arc. I disagreed, despite her being my 3rd favorite character, and wrote a whole essay about it!

This is strictly about Azula in the show, not the comics!

Avatar: The Last Airbender is not only praised for being one of the greatest children’s cartoons created, but also creating one of the greatest character redemption arcs possibly in animated history.

Prince Zuko started as a bitter child, wanting only to restore his honor and be seen by his father as a valuable member not only to the Fire Nation but to Lord Ozai’s family. He spent years putting his heart and soul into a mission that was meant as a joke to keep him away, but when Prince Zuko actually finds the Avatar, Aang, it’s the first time he has had hope in a long time. That hope, though, was a flame tended by hatred, anger, and fear that he let get the best of him for two seasons of Avatar. And while there are moments in the show where he shows vulnerability and his true colors (see: “Zuko Alone”), his traumatic past overshadows any positive step he could truly take even if he had the best intentions.

It is in the third season where Zuko truly shines, standing up to his father and his sister, an abusive family where he hardly ever feels like he belongs, and joining the Avatar and his friends who he had betrayed so many times to finally do what was right and aligned with his morals instead of his father’s. It is with the love he had gotten from his Uncle Iroh from the beginning, and the compassion of his newfound friends, that he fights his own family for the sake of saving the world only to take his place as crowned king of the Fire Nation.

The reason I go into brief detail of Zuko’s character arc is to explain how fleshed out it makes his character. The questioning of himself, his morals and his motives truly make Zuko human. It makes him relatable, as nearly all true heroes in media try to be. There is an argument to be made that, despite his trauma and his warranted anger, he is not a three dimensional character in the first season of Avatar, but instead an angry child that wants his way no matter what his true motives are. Making Zuko end up on the “good” side was his fleshing out, and making him come full circle made genuine sense for the show.

So if Prince Zuko was able to get a redemption arc, doesn’t that mean his sister Azula, who also went through an immense amount of trauma, would be able to get one too and have it be just as great or make just as much sense?

No. I genuinely believe that giving Azula a redemption arc would not make sense for her character or the show.

Azula, Zuko’s younger sister and only daughter to Firelord Ozai, is seen as, what I believe to be, the secondary villain in Avatar. She was born with a natural talent for firebending, picking it up more easily and far younger than her brother Zuko did. Her personality type was nasty; she was a cunning, manipulative bully with relentless determination that reflected poorly on everyone around her. She commanded the attention of anyone in her presence, took what she thought was rightfully hers, and would not stop until she was the best -- the best being Ozai’s true approval.

In her introductory scene at the end of season 1, Azula does not even speak but it is not hard to see her emotions come through on her face. Beyond the “evil smirk” commonly associated with “bad” or “evil” characters, there is the radiating pleasure of being donned a serious task by her father. By the time you were to finish Avatar, it is clear to see in this 3 second introduction of Azula as a character that she is willing to do anything her father asks of her, thus turning into anything she would do to gain the respect and honor that Zuko also seeks out. It can be argued that, despite Azula receiving praise from her father both in her past and in the show, she never receives the honor that Zuko does.

In season 2, Azula is already cruel to those working for the Royal Family. This is to be expected, as she is only a 14 year old girl with the whole world wrapped around her talented finger, but the confidence and power in her tone as she commandeers a ship cannot be ignored. To have that ability and that intimidation at such a young age shows the complex that Azula develops with each success and conquer, only to end up being her downfall. When she reunites with her childhood “friends”, Ty Lee and Mai, it is through manipulation and fear that she gets them once again on her side (although with Mai and the way she hardly shows her true emotions, it is not as clear). It takes only minutes for Azula to get those on her side, showing the signs of a leader but also of an overlord.

While Azula’s bending powers are far beyond her years, it can be argued that her verbal powers are even stronger. Her confidence, persuasion tactics, and mastery of manipulation can sway anyone from vulnerable children (Zuko when she tried to bring him home as prisoner to her father as a traitor alongside her uncle), to an entire kingdom (not only the Earth Kingdom, but also the Dai Lee that held a leader confident in his abilities to lead the rogue society). As a counter, though, Azula’s verbal skills also lack when seen in season 3 as she tries to play the role of a “normal firebender citizen”.

She is shown at a firebender party having no social skills whatsoever, trying to find others ulterior motives, and overall struggling to fit in. While her traumatic past absolutely had a huge impact on her social skills, on top of being part of a royal family (Zuko shared similar struggles when going to offer to teach Aang firebending), it is interesting to see her confidence falter. In this episode is when we see Azula most vulnerable not only with those her age that she cannot immediately control, but also when she reflects on her mother and being called a “monster”. Those feelings of abandonment after Ursa left the Fire Nation only pushed her beyond her own limits to do anything in her power to keep Ozai’s love no matter how twisted it was

One of the biggest reasons I think that Azula did not deserve a redemption arc is because, much like Zuko, she chose her own path in the very end. If Zuko did not choose to seek out Aang and his friends in season 3, there would be no arc whatsoever. Obviously the writers chose this for him, and I see exactly why they did it. They showed Zuko’s wavering beliefs clearly over the years, despite his anger and his fear of not only change but forever losing his father regardless of how severed their connection had been for years on end. Azula, on the other hand, never showed anything but loyalty to her father and their shared beliefs and cause. There were countless openings for Azula to show some sort of questioning of herself and her beliefs, with the loss of Ty Lee and Mai, her father’s decision to make her the next ruler over the Fire Nation despite his plans as the Phoenix King, and the Agni Kai against Zuko and Katara, but she never did.

The closest she ever got was when her mental state and mental health began to collapse on her coronation day, and even that cannot be justified as questioning herself.

It’s heartbreaking to see the fall of Azula, the pressure put on her practically since birth finally crashing down around her. All the times that she had been called “crazy” by Zuko, Iroh, and others that she saw as disposable pawns finally “coming true”. It is when she begins to lose herself, not question herself, that she becomes such a big threat. While before she was cold and so tightly wound up in her ways, seeing the unraveling of trauma and how it can affect a teen girl whose true motivation was love and acceptance was powerful. The scene of Azula hallucinating her mother in the mirror was the acknowledgement of a lost past, a hopelessness that she could never forgive, and resulted in Azula’s genuine intentions to kill Zuko and Katara once confronted. And instead of stepping down, having enough awareness to see herself in such a deteriorating state, she challenges her brother to an Agni Kai.

Azula is truly gone the moment she steps off the throne. And even after she is defeated, instead of accepting the consequences of her actions or what led her to that point, she breaks down instead, forever sealing the potential of any character arc.

TLDR; So why do I believe that Azula doesn’t deserve a redemption arc?

1) She showed no desire to be redeemed.

2) Azula was already so fleshed out that it would not make sense to redeem her. Her anger, trauma, and actions take her down a road she cannot return from.

3) The fact that Zuko got such a terrific character redemption arc cannot be ignored in the sake of arguing whether Azula deserves one. If every character were to be redeemed, there would be no power behind the redemption. Giving both siblings a redemption arc, despite their (partially) shared traumas, would lessen the importance/meaning of the other’s.

4) Despite my personal belief that Azula is not evil, she is not good either. I believe that giving her a redemption arc would be a cheap shot at wiping clean or attempting to validate all of her past actions in at least some aspect. It would be a disservice to her as a character and invalidate her motivations and what she did to get to every peak she hit in the show.

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble

**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha

1. Yellow

Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes.  So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)

I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up.  At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be.  Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way.  And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT.  I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging.  But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D  So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)

(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)

But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.

Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time).  These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.

2. Bill

Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.”  But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent  X’D  My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.

But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island).  I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.”  As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.”  So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down.  Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!

(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )

3. Gold

I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff.  As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)

But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it  X’D  He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“)  Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.

4. Crystal

I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes.  (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)

Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.”  She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power.  I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).

So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid.  The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”

5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)

I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.

But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me.  As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy.  That sequence genuinely had me in tears.

Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.

Honorable mention: Sapphire

I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel  (last time I’m saying it, I promise)

It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!!  And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!!  She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!

--

Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why.  If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please

[lethendralis-paints]

Artist Meme

Was tagged to answer this set of interesting questions by @kourvo​

(original post is here: https://kourvo.tumblr.com/post/621355098110640128/artist-meme

Thank you so much for that!

Let’s see....

1) What is the character you've drawn the most (Can be original or fanart)

This precious boy. I can never get enough of him. One of the most compelling characters I have ever come across. Love everything about Fenris and can relate to him on so many levels!

2. What colour do you often use? 

Gray and brown are my faves. And all other colours have the same chance of appearing in my artwork :D

3. Any colour you are bad at using?

I don’t think so...I love them all, even the pinks and yellows people usually find hard to incorporate into a colour palette. Tell me in the comments if I’m wrong :)

4. When drawing people, where do you start? 

Funnily enough - either with the front of the hairline or with the left eyebrow. Don’t ask me, why - I don’t know myself.

5. What is a character only your eraser will love?

Hmmmm...any sort of villainous character. I can’t draw evil people convincingly. I’m a huge softy at heart.

6. Which of your works took the longest time? 

Big scale commission I did for @pikapeppa​, featuring all the Inquisition companions, along with Fenris, Rynne and Carver Hawke. That one took almost 3 weeks, due to its sheer scope and my relative lack of experience in such large works. Pika was extremely patient with me though, for that I am eternally thankful!

7. What techniques do you use when you want to improve in drawing? 

Classical art studies. Varying my technique, themes I choose and software I use. I try to experiment and go outside my comfort zone often.

8. What do you think of the art of the person who gave you this ask meme? 

I adore Lillymon’s technical skill, refined style and limited colours! She is a huge inspiration for me!

9. What art tools/media are you good with? 

DrawPile, Photoshop, graphite pencils and liners. That’s about it :)

10. Art tools/media you are bad at? 

Traditional paints. I have no formal artistic education and my lack of knowledge comes to the forefront whenever I have to paint on a real canvas. It’s so much trial and error, you can’t even imagine....

11. What do you think about your own art? 

Lately it’s one of the last few things that were bringing me joy. I hope I won’t lose the passion for it. Because at this point I’m not sure I’ll be able to find some occupation I will be genuinely interested in and good at it. I don’t know if me gravitating towards moody fantasy art speaks about my fear of facing reality. If so, idk what to do with that. I do hope to develop my skills and being able to support myself financially as an artist.

12. Do you consult references for your drawings? 

Yes. A lot of them. Anatomical atlases, schemes for both academic and manga art, photographs found online and taken on my own, copying colour palettes from classical art - anything goes. I think it’s essential to develop your technical skill.

13. What do you like about your art? 

Lately - consistency, both in terms of produced results and in sticking to the timelines I set to myself. I hope this lasts. I would also like to branch out to other themes and not confine myself to quirky fantasy characters, so I’m working on developing my own story behind the scenes (spoilers) :P

14. What habits do you have while drawing?

Only the bad ones, lol. Hunching forward in front of the screen, forgetting to eat, drink and letting my eyes rest. Tilting my head to the side instead of rotating the canvas....I’m an idiot XD

15. Are you good at drawing faces facing right? 

I think that’s the thing I’m good at!

16. How frequently do you draw? 

For the last 1,5 years - almost every day without fail, for good or ill.

17. What do you do when you have artist's block? 

Change occupation and work myself into a depressed state. I changed work places in the last few years a lot, working as an interior designer, draftsman, textile designer, a cook, a bartender to name a few.

18. What must you have when you draw? 

No commotion around me and a cup of some hot beverage.

19. Do you have a lot of stray lines (messy lineart)? 

In the starting stage of my work process - yes, like you wouldn’t believe! If it’s a personal doodle, I sometimes just leave in as am under layer and draw clean lines on top of that mess. It looks cool in a way.

20. What is drawing to you?

An essential part of what helped me to retain my sanity in the last year and a half. Hopefully a lasting profession that will help me pay bills and survive on my own, if my life falls apart entirely later.

21. Your art goal from now on? 

Broaden the themes I depict, improve my technical skill, work on personal creative project and not only fan arts. And most of all - not giving up on it this time.

22. Artists you've had influence from? 

To name a few: @kallielef​ @kourvo​ @shayafury​ @fairsparrow​ who I met here on Tumblr, and many others who I follow and zealously study their works for clues on how to improve my own work.

23. Artists you like? 

I am following them all either here or on Instagram, I also do my best to share their works on my side blog!

24. Which is easier to draw, humans or animals? 

It was animals earlier. But now that I started to diligently study human anatomy, I would say it evened out! I’m quite confident drawing humans/humanoids now!

25. Show us an old drawing 

My first digital drawing from 2010 when I first bought my tablet!

26. What is the charm-point of your art?

I ummm....I don’t really get the question? Is that like the the strongest suit of me as an artist? Intense expressions maybe? Idk. Let me know in the comments :D

27. What is the first thing you would draw if we're talking about fantasy? 

Broody warriors, he-he

28. Please draw your most beloved character:

Here’s a sneak-peek of me drawing him right now! :D

29. When thinking of characters is it mostly female? male? or androgynous/no sex? 

I usually gravitate towards depicting strong-willed, caring, passionate, brave, honest men and women.

30. What did you draw yesterday? 

Started cleaning up that sketch from the last question, actually!

31. What is the funnest part to draw? 

A circle. Mostly because you’d die laughing seeing my struggle to draw a believable one XD

32. What part of other people's drawings do you notice first? 

colours, mood, eyes, hands.

33. Regarding backgrounds, what is your method of making it easier to draw? 

pick your favourite textured brush, find a good reference for mood and colour scheme, zoom out, squint your eyes and start slapping colours like mad. You’d be amazed at how much you’ll be able to achieve in 30 minutes with this approach. Bare white background is the enemy - destroy it! >:)

34. What colour coordinations do you like? 

Gray or brown as a main colour and then deep, earthy, saturated colours to complement the main one. Pink and orange is the combination I strangely enjoy using lately too.

35. What character did you last draw? Fenris and Eris :)

36. Does your style change easily? 

I don’t think so. More like it’s evolving slowly into something more serious and deliberate.

37. What part of drawing do you pay most attention to? 

Facial expression, body movement, mood and light effects. Not so much the composition and framing, he he.

38. How do you feel about drawing adult art? 

Tbh, I don’t consider straight up porn to be ‘adult’ exactly. To me adult art means aiming towards serious topics, exploring complex emotions and ideas, being honest with your viewer. I did doodle a few more steamy sketches of my OTP just to see if I could, but it was definitely a tongue-in-cheek kind of a artwork that I don’t take seriously.

39. Do you like criticism from others? 

If it’s friendly and in done in private - I welcome it always.

40. How many people do you normally draw per artwork? 

1 or 2. Rarely more. Crowded battle scenes are definitely not my thing :D

This was fun! Tagging forward to @shayafury​ @schoute​ @stella-minerva​ @nug-juggler​ @kallielef​ and anyone else wishing to go through such a long questionnaire!

[fictionalrambles]

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Fifteen

Submitted by jwrites_

Five Favourite Fics:

1. What's It Gonna Be by @lemonoclefox

Why I love this fic: I'm a sucker for Pride & Prejudice. San was able to take that dynamic and put it all in a modern day telling of it. I can't count how many times I've read this. Sometimes I read it all the way through, other times I go and find my favorite parts just to get that rush of emotions it never fails to give. The enemies to lovers is done perfectly, the dialogue is great and flows seamlessly, the way she tied in the storyline between Simon, Isabelle, Valentine, and Alec together was genius. I truly love every word of this story.

Favorite scene: Awkward - love - confession - in -  the -  rain

Favorite quote(s):

(Yes. Love confessions are great but have you ever overheard someone say something rude about you and then have the opportunity later that same night to be able to casually call that person out for their comment?)

"Her friend is..." He trails off, as though searching for the word, and Magnus can imagine him gesturing in the meantime. "Interesting," Jace eventually settles on, pointedly.

"Who, that Bane guy?" Alec says, and as he does, Magnus is hit with a wave of intrigued surprise. Does Alec like men? Interesting. The assumption could be wrong, of course, but Jace's tone implies that that's why he's mentioning it. "He's a bit over the top, don't you think?"

He sounds almost disdainful as he says it, as though Jace's mere suggestion is laughable, and Magnus's intrigue immediately shifts to offended annoyance. He straightens a little where he stands, reluctantly affected by it.

--

"I mean, love songs are great," Magnus admits lightly. "But stringing a few pretty words together does seem a bit unoriginal when everyone does it."

Simon shoves him lightly in offense, and Magnus can't help but laugh.

"Then what do you suggest?" Magnus is taken completely by surprise when he realizes that it's Alec who's speaking, and he turns to him. The guy's expression is neutral, but seems genuinely curious.

"Oh, I don't know," Magnus says, swirling his drink around in his glass. He shrugs. "I suppose I'm more a fan of showing and not telling. I'd much prefer someone showing interest in what I like and who I am, than comparing my eyes to the night sky, and whatnot." He gestures airily, then hesitates. He suddenly can't seem to stop himself, the memory of the Lightwoods' overheard conversation bubbling to the surface. "I think most people can appreciate that. Even if some of us are a bit over the top."

--Okay...I'm gonna go ahead and throw in a love confession~

"Look, I don't expect anything from you," he says, as though the words are hard to say. "You've made your feelings pretty clear, and I respect that. But I heard you talked to my mom, and with the stuff you said to her... I guess it just kind of made me a bit hopeful, or something. A bit." He clears his throat, while Magnus just listens. He turns to watch Alec's profile as the young man struggles to find the words, eyes on the view in front of him. "Either way, I'll admit that how I feel hasn't really changed. Maybe it should have, but..."

Alec shakes his head, and Magnus feels his throat go dry. He wants to interrupt Alec, wants to say and show everything that's bursting out of his chest, but he waits. Alec takes a deep breath then, turns to him. He looks determined.

"If you want me to," he says steadily, "I'll go. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You won't hear from me again." He pauses, licks his lips. "But if you don't want me to, if something has changed since last time, somehow... I'd really like to know. Because that would be pretty great."

2. 42 North 71 West by @lecrit​

Why I love this fic: I was blessed with the opportunity to witness Lu working on this fic from its conception to its end. I was there and still I am blown away at the way she was able to work the time jumps. I remember thinking with every chapter I read, 'Wow. The way she is telling this story is amazing. She is amazing.' Lu has a way of presenting so much honesty in her characters. She writes them in a way that feels so real, that you can't help but understand their fears and hesitations even though it hurts. The story is a back and forth told through scenes set in the past and present. You get to see what they were and where they are. The story is beautifully heartbreaking. And she was able to make me enjoy a story that dealt with politics? What? Sorcery, I tell you. -- also, the bench.

Favorite scene: This was almost impossible to choose and I took way too long trying to pinpoint just one. But I'm going to go with one that I hold very dear. When Magnus goes to visit Alec on his birthday and he finds Alec playing the song he only plays when he's sad. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil~

Favorite quote(s):

“Magnus,” Alec breathes out.

The name feels almost foreign, as if he hadn’t uttered it in too long and now his mind is troubling to catch up with his mouth. Still, it manages to make Alec’s heart stutter.

--

“We should’ve stayed on that bench in Boston,” he murmurs.

--

The good thing is, he knows where to go to find his way back. It is inked on his body, engraved into his soul, sealed into his heart.

3. Lead The Way by Clockworkswan

Why I love this fic: Because it takes the wonderful adventure of Doctor Who and packs it in with Malec. This is the ultimate fun and feel good but you will also cry at one point fic. I always go back to it if I want a wonderfully written Doctor Magnus and his adorable companion Alec. Seriously, even if you're not into Doctor Who, give this fic a shot. It's written in a way that you will get so caught up in the adventure that you won't even realize it's based on something else. And if you're a Doctor Who fan, you're in luck with all the little Easter Eggs Heather left throughout.

Favorite scene: I really don't want to spoil anything. The planet of Ablorix. This will mean nothing if you don't read the fic (so you should ;])

Favorite quote(s):

Magnus extends a hand. It’s just like before, when they were in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. It’s just as inviting as it was the first time.

“How about it, pretty boy? Name a star. Any one will do. Or a date,” Magnus says. The double meaning is evident when he winks. He pauses then, and his expression shifts, growing solemn.

A clear shift in his demeanour happens. Magnus turns from playful to sincere in the blink of an eye. Although, there was also a serious tone to it. Magnus looks at him, and understanding eyes meet Alec’s hesitant ones. “Alexander, you seem like a man in need of a break, and I am very much a man in need of a friend. Adventures are always a quick way in figuring out what you want. What do you say?”

What does he say?

He says yes.

Of course Alec does.

--

Before Magnus can think of a good retort, he tries to ignore the clenching ache his stomach gives at the sight of a confident, smirking Alec Lightwood watching him so openly. He settles for pointing in a random direction. “I have to go and see a dog about a man. Meet back here in five?”

“Uh, isn’t the expression, ‘see a man about a dog’?”

“Not when the dog ran off with the man’s wife. A rather big scandal, it seems. The president wants me to try and step in. Smooth things over, so to speak.”

At that, Alec just stares blankly.

Magnus holds up a finger. “Yes, this is normal for me. No, you may not come along. Go.”

4. Love & Other Drugs prequel of Our Love Is A Harsh Chord in the Semi-charmed Kind Life series by @la-muerta​

Why I love this fic: I'm kind of cheating here by listing two fics but they're a package deal. Love & Other Drugs was a smutty one-shot that left me wanting

more...

backstory. Let me tell you the pining and 'unrequited' love between those two demanded a story to be written. Which is why when la_muerta ran a poll on whether or not she should start it or another series first, I campaigned for this one like it was my job (I lost but I still got the series eventually so did I really lose?) The writing in this and with all of la_muerta's fics will hook you. The sadness over the back and forth between them is done so well. It's angst that will grip you and hold onto you until you eventually finish. Just go on the twitter hashtag of #OLIAHCfic and see my screaming.

Favorite scene: Probably the LSD scene.

Favorite quote(s):

Alec was still here, in bed with him.

How many times had Magnus wished that he could wake up with Alec in his arms? He didn't dare to move, wanting the dream to last a little longer, but Alec was already stirring.

--

he'll wonder if life would be a little easier if he wasn't hopelessly in love with Magnus, but it is a fact of who he is now: Alec Lightwood is 6'3, has dark hair, is gay, and is in love with Magnus Bane.

--

They are lying next to each other now, turned on their sides and face to face. The world is no longer warped and weird, but glowing and perfect. Magnus is tracing a path of lightning down Alec's body with his fingertips, and in a moment of clarity Alec understands that in Magnus' eyes he is as beautiful as he thinks Magnus is (it is the first thing Alec forgets when he wakes up sober later).

--

Words aren't enough to express how he feels, but they've always understood each other better when clumsy words don't get in the way.

5. The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive​

Why I love this fic: It's funny, it's endearing, it's heart wrenching, it's sexy, etc. The way Alec is written in this fic is one of my favorite characterizations. The way his situation can resonate with so many young adults today. That feeling when you're an adult and you feel like you should know what to do with your life and who you should be but the truth is, you're still just as lost as always. Being an adult sucks tbh and even when you're an adult, sometimes life doesn't quite feel like it. Alec's character and growth in this fic is beautiful. (I also really loved Jace in this fic)

Favorite scene: A tough choice. Probably the office party and follow up scene in Magnus' office.

Favorite quote(s):

The problem with being a new grad, in general, is that the world and job force demands you have experience, but you have to live a certain number of productive years on the planet to gain that experience.

Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it, hence how he ended up in the precarious situation he’s in: dodgy sex work by night, an even dodgier roommate, and desperately hoping an internship eventually turns into an actual paying job.

--

Magnus runs his tongue down the knobs of Alec's spine. "You're so beautiful," he says, pausing.

"I'm really not," Alec insists, eyes fluttering closed.

"Why are you so kind to everyone except yourself?"

"I'm a work in progress."

"Aren't we all?"

[metaldragoon]

I feel like I’ve been gone decades, but it’s only been about 15 months since my last post. It’s nice to see that after years of bitterly seeing all my GIFs and screencaps get 2 notes while Joeshmo Clownman rakes in the notes, that I am now the entitled no-talent scrub who gets 4,000 notes on everything. Just some updates on my life if anyone cares, I guess.  Not much has particularly changed, I still do the same job in the same house with the same wife and dog.  I started focusing a lot more on my physical fitness.  Not that I’m by any means cut, but I’m somewhere around 190-195 lbs (at 6′4″) and I run roughly 50KM a week.  I started the 50KM every week goal back in July I believe, and it was pretty therapeutic for me.  As a previously mentioned big boi I have some horrible knees, and mangled toes and sprained ankles from wearing shoes that are too small all my life.  In 2014 I stopped running and shortly thereafter soccer and basketball because of all the constant injuries.  I don’t really have any outlets to express my self and losing sports was pretty hard on me. Thanks to the power of the internet and some MRIs over the years I became confident I could regain my former activities as none of my issues were degenerative and would just take focus on specific exercises to strengthen the surrounding muscles.  I still hate doing workouts so it’s a struggle, but being able to run is a fantastic thing.  I started my comeback tour with swimming last winter.  I’m not a particularly good swimmer and unfortunately COVID shut all that down in March, I would like to go back because it’s pretty guiltless exercise as it is extremely low impact, but oh well.  There’s a jarring amount of penises in a swimming locker room when you first get in there, but soon we’re all apart of the penis gang and having a great time. Anyways, back to running.  I have been doing 2 half marathons every week for the past 3 weeks now, which is a really short time frame, but the progression has been pretty rapid which is really comforting.  I went from barely being able to lift my legs because how sore my hips were to dropping 6 minutes off my run 2 days later, when back in 2014 I’d be sore for days.  I’ve already eclipsed all my running PRs from when I was younger (though I also hardly tracked them back then) and while I am a grandpa at the age of 29 I have been studying a lot of long distance runners and I have like, at least 10 more years of an athletic prime if I keep up my health, which is nice to know because by 29 you’re curbside trash in the NBA. Moving away from my athletic passions because none of my friends care about that, I have recently found out I am “dismissive avoidant” as an attachment style, which is kinda cool? I say that because there’s lots of things to call yourself to feel marginalised but I never felt there was something wrong with me that “clicked.” Sure, I am depressed, anxious, and am introverted, but who the hell isn’t?! I say kinda cool because on the one side it’s like “ohhhh that’s what’s wrong, my parents never provided any emotional support and I taught myself to not express my self because no one cares!”  And from that I’ve also learned that everyone should just learn to deal with their own problems.  It also says I’m narcissistic which was interesting because I’d never really considered my self that because I always keep to my self, but upon reflection I think it to be pretty true.  I mean, it might appear self-evident to anyone reading this as this is the 5th paragraph about me talking about my self, to a bunch of strangers, and expecting them to care, but I wouldn’t ever be like this in real life.  And you might also think I seem pretty open about my emotions with posts like this, but I feel this is the depth of me.  If anyone actually wanted to talk to me about my problems I would block it out because I don’t like the feeling of vulnerability and I will shut a person out of my life entirely before saying I feel insecure about something.  

But with that to feel comfortable about and fall asleep to, I also feel kinda sad about it because it just makes me another statistic of the many dismissive avoidants of the world, and like them, I’ll probably be content enough with who I am all my life to never strive for improvement. With all that said, a few final comments.  Final Fantasy 7 Remake was trash,  Hollow Knight is fantastic, Catherine Full Body was pretty good, and Yakuza Kiwami was also surprisingly really good.  Every other game I’ve played in the past year either wasn’t new (to me) or I don’t feel particularly strongly about it that I need to say something about it.

[airis-paris14]

Starlight 5

Summary: Amani is an orphaned heiress who’s spent most of her life raising her younger sister. T’Challa is a widowed King and Father. Neither of them is expecting much from their night at the Lotus. But the coming months have many milestones in store for these young adults. Will becoming a family be one of them?

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving y’all!

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6

“Madiyson we’re going to be late!” Amani yelled at her friend who’d been doing her makeup for the past hour. The heiress sighed and buckled her heel shut around her ankle. She double-checked that her purse had her ID, insurance cards, some cash, and a portable phone charger. She threw in her lipstick de jour and shut the clutch. “Madiyson,” Amani yelled for her friend again. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she smiled glancing at her new message.

T’Challa: and I take it you aren’t particularly thrilled about having to work tonight?

Amani: Not even a little bit

Amani grinned. It’d been two months since she spent the night with T’Challa and Ada. Before she left the next day he’d made sure he’d gotten her number. They’d talked every day all day for the last 60 days. Unfortunately, T’Challa had been busy at home and didn’t know the next time he’d be in the states. That night while watching the movie she’d ended up wrapped in his arms and she missed him. They’d shared kisses on the couch, and one final one before she’d left the hotel the next afternoon. She couldn’t lie and say she didn’t really really missed him. “You ready?” Madiyson’s voice broke Amani’s daydreaming. “Huh?” Amani placed her phone in her clutch.

“Who are you texting?” A grin snuck its way across Madiyson’s face. “No one,” Amani mumbled trying to hide the blush sneaking on her face. She knew it wouldn’t show on her cheeks but her friends could read her like a book, Madiyson would know she was embarrassed instantly. “Um-hmm. It must be baby daddy from the restaurant that’s got you grinning like that,” Madiyson teased following her friend out of the house. Amani knew how to handle this. Just play dumb for long enough and Madiyson would lose interest relatively quickly. “Who’s baby daddy?”

“The fine man that came in with his daughter? You told me y’all reconnected at the last party and he spent the night over your house. Don’t act like he ain’t man up and finally get that number. If a dude stays at your house without trying to hit it, he likes you.” Madiyson shrugged. Amani locked the front door and unlocked her car. The two women piled in the car and Amani pulled off. “Or he just wants to be friends with me?” She spoke up a few minutes later. “Ah, so you admit that’s who you were texting?” Shit. Amani froze, “no he still hasn’t called.”

“You’re a horrible liar sis,” Madiyson chuckled. “New message from T’Challa,” the cars automated voice flowed out through the stereo. “Oh who’s T’Challa?” Madiyson smirked and reached for Amani’s phone. The heiress prompt smacked her hand away. “Leave it alone,” Amani whined. “Come on sis, I don’t know why you’re trying to hide that you like him.”

“I’m not trying to hide anything.”

“You’re really bad at lying we’ve gotta fix that soon,” Madiyson mock sighed.

“I just, I don’t know what we are right now if we are anything. I don’t want to go around telling y’all about him and we’re just temporary,” Amani relented and explained her feelings to her friend. “See was that so hard?” Madiyson teased. “Shut up,” Amani chuckled.

“In all seriousness I understand. And I respect that. I just want you to be happy. So if he makes you happy figure out what y’all are doing,” Madiyson shrugged. “Do you want to be more than friends?”

“I don’t know. I think I do, but he’s so far.”

“We’ll FaceTime is a thing for a reason,” Madiyson offered.

“Yeah. If it’s not the same as having him in my arms you know?”

“Woah Woah Woah! Time out! Flag on the play! blow the whistle! Y’all have been in each other’s arms?” Madiyson exclaimed. Amani sighed at her own slip-up. She and her big mouth. This conversation would never end now. “We may or may not have had a movie night in his hotel room a few months ago. “What! Why didn’t you tell me!” Madiyson pouted.

It isn’t that big of a deal. We just watched a movie and went to bed.”

“You spent the night!

Amani inwardly groaned. This big mouth just didn’t know when to stop. “ Yeah it was late and he offered me a guest bedroom,” Amani explained. Things didn’t exactly happen in that order, but what Madiyson didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. “Can we switch topics now?” Amani pouted.

“What else you’re wanna talk about then? And it better be good to replace this conversation.” Madiyson sassed. “How about we’re here?” Amani pulled her car into valet. “Sure but we will finish this conversation later,” Madiyson pointer at her friend before allowing the valet to help her out of the car.

“Thank you,” Amani smiles at the worker before handing him her keys. She walked around the car making sure to the train of her outfit off of the ground. Once Madiyson had Her train in hand as well, they headed into the event together.

Two hours later found Amani conversing with one of the board of directors. He was explaining the idea he was going to propose at the next board meeting. She knew that the gentleman truly wanted her feedback and approval, but Amani couldn’t help the fact that her mind was wandering. She decided that she would ask the gentleman to email her a copy of his proposal and she would offer the best feedback she could that way. It was true that Amani, nor Amare, had a heart for business, but they did truly care about their parent’s legacy. Amani had watched her parents struggle for too long to build this business. There was no way she was going to watch it fall. So even though she and Amare weren’t on payroll, she made sure to keep abreast of what management had in store for her parents’ company. Feeling bad for having virtually ignored this man’s whole spiel, Amani decided to politely interrupt and ask him to email her, when a familiar voice washed over her spine. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering If I may have a word with the lady,” the voice asked. The look on the board member’s face gave the king away. “Of course your majesty,” the man stuttered. Amani felt a genuine smile erupting on her face for the first time tonight. She didn’t bother trying to fight it when she turned to look at T’Challa. “I’m sorry for the interruption,” Amani turned back to the board member, “f you email me your proposal I’d be more than happy to provide my full opinions and continue this conversation soon,” Amani offered. “I’ll send it to you tomorrow,” the man smiled. “Have a good night Ms. Okeke, your majesty.” Amani watched him walk out of earshot before turning back to the man that had been occupying her phone and mind for the past two months.

“Perfect timing as usual,” Amani smiled up at the king. Her heart fluttered at the sight of his smile. “I was known for being quite the prince charming back in my day,” the king smiled. “Care to sneak away with me?” T’Challa offered Amani his arm. She glanced over at Madiyson who’d been talking to a young exec from a sister company. Seeing them now moving to the dance floor she decided she’d text her to let her know where’d she had gone. “Where did you have in mind, your majesty?” T’Challa smiled, “I’m afraid the balcony will have to stand in for some great adventure. I didn’t know I’d see you tonight.”

“Me neither, I thought you weren’t going to be back in the country for a while?” Amani asked as they strolled around the room towards the balcony. Her cape slid behind her as they moved around the hotel ballroom. “I didn’t plan on it. I was hoping to surprise you this weekend, I heard about this event from another company I’m looking to invest in. When you said you had to work, I didn’t know that you’d be here.” The king explained. “I guess we both got lucky then,” Amani grinned. They stepped out into the night air. T’Challa stooping to help Amani and her cape get settled on a bench stationed on the balcony. “Thank you,” the mocha-skinned woman blushed. “You look beautiful,” T’Challa smiled. Amani blushed and played with the beading on her gown. Her dress was a true nude for her skin tone, which was a rarity for black women. It was covered in a layer of sheer white fabric and delicately beaded all the way down. A sheer white cape hung down from her shoulders and created a simple but dramatic train. “You look very handsome yourself,” Amani smiled up at him. “I’ve missed you,” she admitted as they smiled at each other. “I’ve missed you as well love,” The king leaned closer. “I missed doing this too,” he smirked before engulfing Amani in a kiss. His lips took over her mind as she kissed him back.

T’Challa pulled away a few seconds later. She was glad someone was thinking straight. This was not the best place to get carried away. Amani placed one last peck on his lips before sitting back fully. She bit her lip and looked away. “I should probably text Madiyson and let her know where I am.” She pulled out her phone and sent a quick message. She felt T’Challa’s eyes staring at her as she placed her phone back in her clutch. When she looked up he pulled her into another kiss. “Last one,” he whispered as he pulled away. Amani couldn’t fight the giant smile that took over her face. Her heart was racing and her stomach was fluttering. Just the thought that he was just intoxicated by her as she was by him was a major confidence booster. “How’ve you been?” Amani asked, she let her hand rest on the bench in between her and T’Challa. She observed his profile in the city lights. The sound of traffic surrounded them while the stared at the city and her lights. She’d never felt more at peace. “Busy, but good. Mostly missing you. Ada misses you as well.”

“I miss her too,” Amani brightened at the thought of the little girl. “How have you been heiress?” T’Challa takes her hand in his own. He rubs circles along the back of her hand while she gathers her thoughts. “I’ve been good. Aching to get out of the country. I’ve been seriously thinking about starting my own event planning company. I think a little vacation could give me the time I need to finally put it into motion,” Amani revealed. “I think that sounds like a great idea,” T’Challa squeezed her hand.

“Really? You don’t think it sounds crazy?”

“No. I think distance can very well bring clarity. It sounds like you’re serious and putting a lot of thought into this. You aren’t taking it lightly and rushing it.”

“Thank you. I’m still a little nervous but I think it’ll be good for me to do something I love for once.”

“I agree. Where were you thinking about going?” T’Challa moved closer to her on the bench. “I’m not sure yet,” Amani thought, “I’ve gotta decide whether I want to stay domestic or go international. Maybe I’ll come visit you,” Amani teased. T’Challa grinned, “ You are always more than welcome.” The two fell into a comfortable silence once more. “I’m glad I saw you tonight,” Amani blurted.

“Me too Amani. Can I take you out tomorrow night? If you aren’t busy or don’t have plans,” the king asked. “Of course. Tomorrow is my off day, so I’m all yours.” Amani swore she saw something ignite behind T’Challa’s eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it came. “I have some meetings in the morning, but I’ll pick you up at 5:30?”

“I’ll be waiting.” Amani smiled, “How should I dress?”

“You look beautiful in anything,” T’Challa grinned. Amani rolled her eyes, “Really though, you always look so nice. I don’t want to wear jeans and then you show up in a suit.”

“It’s just a nice dinner and a surprise. Nothing Formal.” The king explained. Amani nodded. “Kumkani,” someone called from the balcony doors. Amani started to move away but T’Challa held her in place, with her hand in his lap. “Something has happened, we must leave quickly,” The woman relayed to T’Challa. Amani could feel the man tense and sigh. “No rest for the weary huh?” she teased in a whisper. The king offered her a small smile. “Go, I understand,” she reassured. The king nodded and stood, helping her up off the bench with him. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he reassured. Amani blushed as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She offered a small wave as he backed off of the balcony before following the woman away. She checked her phone and realized that she and T’Challa had been on the balcony for a little over and hour. Ready to head home she spotted Madiyson talking to the same young man in a corner. She walked over and smiled at her friend. “Hey,” Madiyson smiled, “Marquis, this is my friend Amani. Amani this is Marquis. He works at Meridian Corp. We used to go to high school together.”

“Nice to meet you, Marquis,” Amani shook his hand. “Nice to meet you as well Ms. Okeke.” he smiled. “How’d you-” Amani started. “There isn’t a soul in this room who doesn’t know who the Okeke daughters are,” Marquis explained. “Oh. Well please call me Amani, a friend of Madiyson’s is a friend of mine.”

“Good to know Amani,” Marquis smiled, “I’ll leave you two alone. I really enjoyed seeing you again Madiyson.”

Madiyson blushed, “I enjoyed seeing you again too.” Marquis pulled her in for a hug, “I’ll call you soon,” he promised as he pulled away. With another nod at Amani, the young executive vanished into the crowd. “I didn’t know you were popular like that in these circles. You must be like the princess of Atlanta high society.” Madison gawked. “I guess,” Amani laughed. “You ready to call it a night?”

“Yeah girl, you were right. Marquis is the only remotely interesting person I’ve met all night,” Madiyson laughed. “I tried to tell you,” Amani joined in as they left the ballroom and got onto a balcony. Her phone buzzed in her purse. She took it out and smiled at the message.

T’Challa: I wish I didn’t have to leave, the emergency resolved itself before I could even get there

Amani: Aww poor baby. There’s always tomorrow though.

T’Challa: Indeed. I’ll be counting down the seconds until I can see you again.

Amani: Charmer.

T’Challa: Is it working?

Amani: You’re insufferable.

T’Challa: you seem to tolerate it pretty well.

Amani rolled her eyes.

Amani: Good night your majesty.

T’Challa: goodnight Amani.

“Amani!,” Madiyson’s shout pulled her out of her daze. “Yeah, sorry what’s up?”

“I asked where you vanished too earlier,” Madiyson asked. “Oh, T’Challa was here so we-”

“You saw him?! You promised you’d introduce me.”

“He had to leave early,” Amani explained. “What’d y’all talk about? I thought he wasn’t going to be in the country soon?”

“I’ll tell you all about it if you drive,” Amani chuckled.

“Can I spend the night?” Madiyson looked at her friend, her hand out awaiting the keys. “Of course.” Amani laughed.

“Then hand me the keys Mamacita! I’ll drive you anywhere you wanna go.”

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @dopegalkk @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @shesakillerkween @waitingonafriend @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr

[jungkookfeelz]

Not What You Expected

Description: After Years dating Min Yoongi and starting a life together, he ends your relationship out of nowhere. Will you finally find out why the love of your life left you in the cold?

Words: 2K

Genre: Ex-Lovers, angst, fluff, famous BTS, “ordinary” reader

Notes: I am a sucker for angst. Decided to write this on a whim, this will be a series, let me know your thoughts and feelings about it! This is my first story I've written in a long time so cut me some slack!

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You don't even know how long it has been since the last time you've seen him. 

2 weeks?

2 months? 

You don't know, you stopped counting. It became too hard. You tried so hard to forget, to move past this pain and just forget. You could forget him so you can be happy but you just can't. You won't let yourself. Even though what you had wasn't meant to be, you can't help yourself from thinking about him, about how he cared for you, how he cherished you. But every time you think about it the truth hits you hard. Harder every time, like something, or someone is punishing you for thinking about someone you can or should no longer think about. But how could you not? He was just perfect, the way his newly dyed blonde hair fell perfectly over his forehead or the beautiful gummy smile that came out when you told one of your corny jokes just to hear his angelic laugh just once. But this was a long time ago, before the pain, the humiliation, the heartbreak. Maybe soulmates don't exist. Maybe happily ever after doesn't either, not for you anyway. Not after what he did to you, to humiliate you in front of all your friends. You don’t think you can ever forget what he did even though you know you would go back to him in a heartbeat. Which makes you hate yourself even more. 

You laughed so hard you had tears coming out of your eyes

"Yah! Stop it please!" You gigged trying to get away from the man towering over you, his hands all over your body while he tickled you.

"I don't think so, I told you to stop pestering me while I was working" His words sounded harsh but from the way he looked at you, with so much love you knew he meant it without any harsh judgment. You giggled again and pleaded till he finally stopped torturing you. You rolled over and groaned, your stomach hurt from how much you laughed. You heard a deep chuckle from behind you till you felt two arms grab you and pull you closer to them. You turned around and looked deep into his brown eyes.

"I love you Y/N," he said with such adoration for you, it almost made you melt. You sighed in relief when his lips finally touched yours, his lips were so soft and plump. You kissed back with as much passion and moved to straddle him.

"I love you too" You mumbled when you broke apart from the intense kiss. He grinned from ear to ear before tackling you and kissing you again.

You shook your head, getting off the couch that you've been on for the past few days, binge-watching horrible cringe-worthy romance movies, wishing you were them instead. You walked into the kitchen and put some of the last ice-cream you had in your freezer. Grabbing a spoon, you walked back to the living room and plopped on the couch, turning on another movie. Before you could have a spoonful of the ice cream, there were a bunch of knocks on the door. You paused the movie and freed your hands from the ice cream bowl and got up, eyebrows furrowed since you weren't expecting anyone. You opened the door and sighed, your childhood friend stood before you, hand-on waist with a disappointing look on her face. 

"How long have you been cooped up in here?" Y/F/N asked, her eyebrow raised in accusation

You thought about it, again, you didn't know. You felt so defeated that you barely moved, only to use the washroom or to eat some food when it was necessary. Seeing the hesitation and the struggle to form an answer, Y/F/N sighed and walked by you into the house.

"Y/N, you need to take care of yourself, Yoongi is an idiot for leaving you but you can't give him that satisfaction of knowing what kind of impact he made on you"

"...I know...I know, it's just hard" Your voice was hoarse, you barely had to talk to anyone, just sending Y/F/N texts throughout the day so she knew you were all right. 

"I know it's hard, he left you and is living his best life in the spotlight, it isn't fair. But now, we need to get you back out in the world, you need interaction. So we are going out, no but's about it" 

You were about to object and argue your way to not leave the comforts of your home, before Y/F/N grabbed your arm and shoved you upstairs into the bathroom, telling you to shower while she found you an outfit to wear for wherever she is taking you.  You haven't showered in a few days so feeling the hot water on your skin made you visibly relax. 

You moaned at the feeling, you closed your eyes and started thinking about how good your life was before the incident, how happy and in love you were, how confident, but now...Now you're weak, helpless to your happiness. You rubbed your hands over your face and sobbed, trying to keep quiet. 1...2...3...4....5...6.... You counted in your head, trying to calm your racing heart, you turned your head into the showerhead and let the water run down from your face to your naked body. After a few more minutes in silence, you decided it was time to get out. By the time you walked into your room, an outfit was already laid out in front of you, your best friend laying on her stomach playing on her phone, waiting for you. As soon as she heard you walk in she jumped to her feet. She took a glance your way before turning to grab the outfit in her hand, you couldn't tell if she noticed your puffy face from crying. You mustered up a smile when she walked up to you and shoved the outfit in your hand.

"Go and change, we have to leave soon!" Y/F/N said before pushing you to the bathroom again. You giggled slightly, shocked by the sound. You knew she could get any kind of reaction out of you. You glanced down at the outfit and fought a panic attack from coming out, it was a dress you used to wear all the time...before the incident. It was a dress made for a confident woman, a woman who knows she is beautiful, you're not fit for this dress but you knew if you even tried to argue, your friend would win. She always does. Before you even put on your dress, you quickly put on some foundation, a bit of eyeliner, enough to make them pop out a little bit and some mascara. You dried your hair and let your dull brown hair cascade down in natural waves. You put on the dress with a bit of difficulty since you put on a little bit of weight, you looked back into the mirror and smiled, you look a whole lot better than you usually do. Your brown eyes popped out from the eyeliner, and the dress hugged your newly found curves in the right places. The skin-tight dress went down to your mid-thigh with a lacy fabric for the long sleeves. Happy with what you saw, you opened the door and walked into your room again.

"My, oh my, you look gorgeous Y/N" Y/F/N fanned herself already dressed up, she was excited to go out, you could tell. All the worrying about her best friend wore her down, seeing that made you shudder in guilt.

"No, no you're gorgeous" You giggled, but it was true, your friend wore a skin-tight red dress that suited her darker complexion perfectly. 

"So where are we going?" You asked, realizing that you didn't know where you are going. Guessing about what you are wearing, she is making you go to some sort of party.

"We are going to a club, you need to let go tonight" Y/F/N pointed a finger your way before re-checking herself in the full-body mirror in the corner of your room. You rolled your eyes but nodded. You needed this. 

You did some last-minute checks about your appearances before you grab your essentials and leave. You wanted to argue so bad for her to go without you, you didn't know if you were ready to go out yet, but deep down, you knew this was a good idea, to unwind...to forget.

You walked into the club, the music, the lights, you didn't miss this. These types of places gave you headaches beyond repair but you needed to let loose. Just this once. Act like you didn't lose the only thing that you ever truly loved and just drink the night away. 

"I'm going to go get a drink!" You scream into your friend's ear, you don't think she even heard you by the way she ran off to the dance floor. You sighed and shook your head at your friend's enthusiasm, you always wished you could be like her, so carefree. People always preferred her, she was more fun, more adventurous. She would do things you would have never thought of doing. You always wondered why he picked you over her, you never knew that. You scowled, you weren't supposed to be thinking about him, especially not now. You quickly ordered a drink as you waited you watched her go into the sea of people before getting pulled into a man's arm, you would be more alarmed but you knew how your friend was, she loved the attention. 

"Thank you" you smiled at the bartender before he disappeared to fetch someone else their drink. 

"What's a pretty girl like you doing all by herself?" You turn around to come face to face with a middle-aged man who has drunk more than enough. He was sweating, with a hand on his drink he takes a sip almost missing his mouth. That would have been a sight to see. 

"I'm not alone, and I'm not interested" You muster up a sweet smile his way and turn around again. Hoping he takes the hint before you could turn around fully, a hand grabbed your arm and yanked you back. Falling off of your chair makes you squeal in surprise, the abrupt action makes you fall into the chest of the same disgusting man. 

"No one talks to me like that, you better watch your tongue next time or you'll regret it" He glared at you, you obviously hurt his little ego for him to get this violent. You rip your arm out of his grasp and take a few steps back to make sure he doesn't touch you again. You are not good with confrontation, this has already been too much for you. This is exactly why you don't go out to these kinds of places. 

You turn around and run away, to the bathroom. You walk in and lean against the counter, sighing you turn on the water and wash your hands, not wanting there to be evidence of the man touching you. Tears pricked at your eyes, you are frustrated. Why can't you have a happy ending? Why does he get to have one with her? What did you do to deserve this treatment? You loved him, gave him everything that you had to give. You loved him selflessly, so why? Why aren't you happy? 

You looked at yourself in the mirror and glared, you hated yourself. You hated what he made of you. You wash your hands violently making water splash everywhere, you try to fix the makeup under your eyes from the sweating and tears and make your way out of the bathroom. Not looking where you were going you bumped into someone causing your head to hit the person's shoulder

"Oh my, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going" You rubbed your head to dull the pain.

"Y/N?" You looked up in shock. It couldn't be. Could it? You take a deep breath and look up to the person you didn't know you would see again. 

"H-Hello..."

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