#i'm just a degenerate who's chronically online

[genericpuff]

this is hilarious but also horrifying because i don't think nick jr knows what "nice guys" on the internet means and this just makes me immediately feel all sorts of bad for steve, joe and josh

Whoever runs the Nick Jr social media page, I love you for this.

[olderthannetfic]

I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.

I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)

For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.

to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"

(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)

as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.

why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.

and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.

as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.

like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.

and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.

^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.

There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.

I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.

--

Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.

[longing-for-rain]

Just so you know, some of your anons are coming from a blog called @mal3vol3nt

I do not know if you’re aware, but she’s chronically obsessed with you and has also been sharing your ao3 on Twitter and inciting harassment there too, saying you’re “racist” and a “degenerate” and accusing you of writing underage. Her blog lately is mainly posts about you and it sounds very similar to some of your anons

I had to check this out for myself and...wow. All I can say is just...wow 🤣

No, I actually had no idea who this person was but from the looks of it she's been obsessed with me for months? I guess that explains the anons, I knew these people were mad, but apparently they've been over here steaming over my takes and are legitimately terrified of me. And I didn't even know them! Didn't realize I've been doing numbers on Twitter (or X whatever it is now) despite never having an account.

(The rest is below; please don't click if you do not wish to see insensitive discussions of rape or if you are not in the mood to read opinions so malformed they will melt your brain)

I guess I have another angry little troll who doesn't know what a captial letter is obsessed with me. Wish I could say it was the first time, but alas. A lot of particularly funny things here though.

> Advertising your terrible ragebait Twitter like anyone finds you important

Lmao.

> "write fanfiction of katara being raped so zuko can save her"

What a terrible misread of the point of that story, but then again, I don't expect much else from a terminally online crybaby who exclusively consumes media for children. If you can't handle adult discussions about adult topics, maybe don't read stories that are clearly marked 18+ and with far more extensive trigger warnings than any mainstream media will give you.

> "measuring the size of her breasts and hips"

Lmao. I said she is drawn differently in different scenes. That's it. You guys are another level of unhinged.

> "obviously fetishes and racism"

It's kind of creepy how they sexualize Zutara, while simultaneously accusing us of doing that. Why do you assume a fetish is the only reason behind someone liking a ship? Why would you say this about a group of people including many black, brown, and indigenous women? And minors? And if you want to get into the whole fetish thing, don't even get me started on the shit I've seen from the kataang fandom. Hint: when I say some of you have a "mommy fetish" I mean it in a very literal sense. Not to mention the whole kataang rape discord debacle.

> "sick fantasies about these minor characters"

I have never depicted a minor in a sexual situation. I make a point to explicitly avoid doing that, and all characters are depicted as adults. Your lack of media literacy isn't an argument. If you're going to criticize my writing, at least read it, which you clearly didn't. And if the content is too upsetting for you, you clearly lack the maturity to engage in these kinds of discussions.

Imagine treating ship discourse this seriously, actually unhinged. Who said that Ember Island Players is the real Katara? What? She talks a big number about coke-fueled rants, must have given it a try herself. How do you expect to be taken seriously when you never say anything of substance and screech "racism" or "colonizer" every other word but can't even articulate the significance of those terms? Honestly, at this point you sound like a right-winger who thinks saying "but I'm [identity] and I agree with [opinion]" is a golden ticket to winning every argument.

And look at this: apparently I deserved all the things she and her friends sent me? Actually I respect this take, at least she's honest about it unlike the people who cry and backpeddle when they get caught red-handed.

I'm actually cackling at this one. Genuinely laughing; my neighbors are probably concerned. It's like you took every single Bad Person Allegation and threw it into a blender. And to top it all off, apparently 24 is "pushing 30" now LMAO. And apparently I, a lesbian, could only possibly like Zutara because I think Zuko is hot. Not to mention the way they entirely miss the point of Zutara, but ATLA itself, by insisting that Zuko is a "violent imperialist" who is apparently unworthy of love by anyone who does not share his skin tone. Kind of ironic coming from the people crying that I'm a racist who doesn't understand the show. Next level clownery.

This is so funny. These people are absolutely terrified of me, no amount of unhinged anons will hide that. It's fine for men to tell me I deserve rape and death, that I'm a dirty pervert for daring to speak out about sexual trauma, and that women's sexual trauma is nothing but a fetish, but if I respond to that man telling him he should die for being so disrespectful and misogynistic to rape victims, I'm the monster? I stand by it. If you think what he said about rape and rape victims is acceptable, especially if you're a man, die! Hang from ropes, as I said.🥰

I guess I should be really scared though. This is clearly a very influential figure in the fandom who is renowned for her enlightened wisdom on the plight of fictional cartoon characters against evil imperialists like me (adult with job).

...oh wait. I was excited for a minute, I thought I was dealing with a celebrity. But even the "callouts" struggle to hit 20 notes :/

And to everyone sending me positivity during this time, thank you very much! But I wanted to show you this to assure you I'm doing just fine. People can act as weird as they want behind a gray face, but after seeing the kinds of whiny little brats they are in reality, it's pretty hard to take it seriously. "I got my plane ticket" my ass, that would require you to leave your decaying, trash-filled apartment.

[twstcallouts]

hello i would like to make a callout about twstcallout for being chronically online and spending their time harassing random people for stupid ass shit like random headcannon and accusing people of serious crimes because of fictional ships, thus muddying the meaning of these accusations making easier for real predators to hide. Be safe out there and have a wonderful day 🥰

It's always the ones not brave enough to be anonymous... 🤔

The predators can't hide if you shine a light into their pathetic little caves. Random headcanon is when incest and pedophilia. Your conscience is so muddied you don't realize that normal, healthy people would say those headcanons are creepy, that's why they stay in their blogs and block and block and block until they're surrounded by other perverse people.

Look, I genuinely think you should get offline and rethink what you think is moral and amoral. This behavior isn't healthy. I'm just warning people so that they know who to avoid, since interacting with an innocent post from a degenerate blog can mess with your main and show you the actual disgusting posts. I'm doing what I wish had existed.

[papirouge]

thank you for always being SO correct. That's what I've been saying forever - there's no way that furry stuff isn't just "bestiality lite". It's degeneracy that's so mainstreamed now. The amount of like, not even chronically online dudes I've actually met in real life who are into "catgirls" is actually appalling.

Thank you 💓 but being right comes with a price : the OP of that post blocked me lmaooo

But I understand.... But I couldn't help myself lol

This furry thing is so bizarre to me.... Those people will say that's totally normal but there's a reason proeminent figures of that community have been exposed being zoophile... Where there's smoke there's fire.

When I was into CoD I stumbled upon weird stuff, like fanart with characters transformed into half animals. I already said how uncomfortable I was to realize a significant part of that fandom was straight up pornography (either fanfic, headcanons, or fanart) - but FURRY porno?? I underestimated how widespread this stuff had become in fandom art... because I just know it's not only for CoD...

I can't wrap my head around the fact that people can understand that someone drawing "sexy children" is sick and predatory (unfortunately there's also a fringe of degenerats who think it's not...), but don't see any issue sexualizing ANIMALS ???

I blame also anime culture bc this whole kawaii catgirl comes from that. The absolute lack of criticism when it comes to address the influence of sexual depravity reeking from that culture is insane. Back when I was into the scene that stuff was seen as degenerate, very niche & weird...now it's on the top of the trending page...

..

I'm subscribed to a Christian prophetess (The Master's Voice) and she said God gave her visions of the future and said bestiality will be normalized. And what broke me is when she said that way more people than we assumed where already into it 😓 she said she saw blonde women (she was very specific about it) having sex with dogs, and asserting their lifestyle quite publicly. They had no shame at all.

[steviewashere]

Ranting, Sorry.

I'm reading this book called A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It's an excellent read, I recommend it so far. Very human and very personal and very intimate—just great all around.

It centers around this character named Jude and his relationships with several friends in his circle. How he perceives being a disabled adult, while also becoming very successful in the field of law, the ins and outs of sexual trauma. It's deep, it explores it all.

The thing I'm choosing to focus on right now, however, is him and his thought on being a disabled person. For reference, he was in an accident—it scarred his back, his body developed chronic pain, and he's reliant on walking aides for his mobility. One of his largest fears in the book is that his friends, his colleagues, the acquaintances that wade in and out of his life, they will see him as less of Jude and being a person; but rather define him wholly by his disability. That they'll use it to mock him, to force him to be less than and degenerate under their feet, that it'll come back to bite him in the ass. He worries that he's perceived as just the way he walks or talks or moves. That he is less human and more the thing that separates him—does this all make sense?

Anyway. I am someone who has chronic migraines and chronic pain. His fears are my fears, even if mine are lesser and more invisible. (Solely because there is nothing visible on me to highlight me as disabled, but it's still there. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.) And I have people in my family who are disabled, who I've been advocating for since I was younger.

But this makes me more aware of how people interact with or talk about disabled people online.

Here's an example:

Some twenty minutes ago, give or take, I was scrolling on TikTok. (Which, in itself is a hellscape and has rotted my brain like the spread of mold.) But somebody on there is posting clips from Michael J. Fox's documentary, Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie (which you can watch on Apple TV+).

And in these clips, Michael J. Fox talks very openly, while also recalling solemnly, the diagnosis for Parkinson's Disease. His complete and utter shock. The way it was described to him as being degenerative, incurable, etc. Even the slight horror in the realization that he's young at the time of this diagnosis, that it will affect his acting career, things along these lines.

Which, to take a quick sideline here, Parkinson's is a pretty devastating disease. It's a disease in the brain that causes the breaking down of a person's nervous system. Which affects how a person may move—things like tremors, stiffness, loss of balance as some of the first signs. And again, it's incurable. It's something that just unfolds as a person ages. It doesn't go away. There's no way to extinguish it, does that make sense? The best way to soothe the symptoms is by taking medications, but these medicines do not eradicate the disease.

Okay, now that I've explained a little bit.

I was just baffled, completely and utterly baffled by what people were saying in the comments of these clips. Things like "It's so hard to watch," and "It's been hard to see him go through this for decades," and the list goes on. But those being the two that truly, honestly, angered me to my core.

This is what A Little Life was talking about. When a person opens up about their disability, they are hoping for support, for enthusiastic and positive questions: How can I help? Is there anything that I can do that would better support you? And especially comments like, This does not change how I view you. And you are the same person to me.

Because that's what it should be! You shouldn't see a disabled person and want to look away because it's hard on you to see. How absolutely diabolical to hear. Take off the skin of being uncomfortable for a moment, a second. I want you—if you've made a comment like any of the negative ones that I've seen or you've witnessed these comments with your own eyes—to imagine what it's like for the disabled person in some ways.

The person may be used to their disability, but that doesn't mean that all insecurities are immediately out of the question. Maybe they're hidden, maybe they're skin deep, maybe they're so far inside of them that it takes the absolute most to pull offense from them.

But disabled people, myself included, want to be viewed as just a person. Like anybody else. That's it. Watering disabled people down to just their disability, or how their disability makes you uncomfortable—that's an awful thing to do, it's an ableist way of seeing the world.

Have more respect and dignity. And keep the uncomfortable to yourself. We deserve the same space and existence as you do. No matter celebrity status, career level, gender, sexuality, or otherwise.

Making comments on how difficult it is to see a disabled person experience their disability, that is a horrid thing to do. And I hope every single person realizes that.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

I'm randomly gonna chime in as a elder iPad kid

(yes I am a old fuck and I am a iPad kid, we all aren't 4 lol)

I use my devices so I don't go into a depressive spiral lol, ever since I was like 5-6 that's what i've been doing!

are there discussions to be had on internet addiction? yes, but by hell like using your "I must recover from being in intense pain" time on the internet is not a bad thing.

I spent fucking 13-14 hours a day on my phone when I was having the worst asthma attacks of my fucking LIFE!

I was spending my time on the internet when I was having mental breakdown after mental breakdown during the pandemic lockdowns!

you don't know why people are on the internet so much, I know a main factor is that most people can't be safe or go out. (kids, disabled people, trans/queer teens, mentally ill people, POC, ect)

it's fucking mean and horrible to go like "your a horrible person I think your a lazy degenerate and your addicted to your screens haha" when the person in question is fucking immunocompromised.

or a kid in an abusive home, or a chronically ill kid, or someone who homeschools, like there's so many reasons why people are "chronically" online.

no one is ready for this discussion that spending alot of your time online is just normal now, it's our second place, it's accessible, it's safe to some degree, it's filled with likeminded people, and you can find your place here.

it's upsetting and depressing to some, but it's not a bad thing.

I like it online, I like spending my time here.

but hey, whatever I'm just your local sad guy.

I hate when the "recovery" posts act like disability isn't a real thing in their efforts to "encourage" self care and productivity...

Like the implication that the only reason why someone might struggle with self care is that they aren't making the right choices and are spending too much time on their phones? Fuck off with that shit...

[gothhabiba]

i agree 100% with what you're saying re: "online" connection and i think you explain it beautifully and it's a very important conversation. i've noticed a trend to say someone/something is "chronically" or "terminally" online as a jokey exaggeration, which has felt.. bad to me, but i'm not sure how to put it into words. it seems like criticizing how people can take things too far online has some merit, but some people have taken that criticism itself too far, if that makes sense?

It's interesting that you bring up this language--looking at it, it strikes me that it is of course the language of disease and disability ("online" stands in for the "ill" in "chronically ill," "terminally ill"). The internet is thus presented as a sort of psychical or psycho-physical contagion that can create moral disease or decay in those who are too "exposed" to it, or those who expose themselves to it without the effort, self-control, or mental or physical 'exercise' required to counterbalance that contagion. It reminds me of something I said a little bit ago regarding the idea that "content warnings create an army of weaklings who reflexively avoid any content that they don't like":

The idea that avoiding certain content makes you weak or allows for the deterioration of Brain Muscles that could be strengthened by engaging with said content heavily relies on the idea that suffering is automatically edifying. The entire concept that exercising discipline in the face of something unpleasant builds up Brain Muscles that 1. are morally necessary to build and 2. can then be put to use doing other tasks reads to me as very 19th-century muscular Christianity eugenicist-y Self Control type ideology.

Granted, there isn't a generational component that posits "chronic onlineness" to be a condition that worsens over hereditary time (that I've seen). But the idea that this mental or physical weakness can worsen within a person unless effort is made to counteract it recalls the Victorian concept of racial degeneration, which posits that certain environments (mainly those that are too lush and comfortable) can weaken racial stock. And the mental and physical weakness of being "online" is, again, described using a register that is actively associated with disease and disability--it is described this way because this language is associated with disease and disability, because these writers want to associate being "online" with the reaction of disgust and avoidance called forth by the concept or prospect of disability.

The "physical weakness" aspect of this proposed disease is always there implicitly in our understanding of the kinds of physical postures involved in being "online" versus engaging "in real life," but it is sometimes made explicit as well. A tumblr user, responding to a post referencing the neurochemistry of reward systems and reward-seeking behaviour in encouraging "those of us who are terminally online" to "log off, go outside, hang with friends," writes the following:

imo the more effort something takes the greater the reward. it doesn't actually need to be all that hard it just needs to feel difficult enough so that your brain says "oh good job you did this and deserve a treat." an abstracted social interaction in a virtual space is low effort because you're sitting/reclining/whatever. your body is not engaged and therefore it doesn't parse as worthy of greater reward by the brain. (emphasis mine)

This tumblr user (of whose scientific credentials I am unsure) doesn't specifically exclude those for whom sitting up or reclining while using an internet-connected device does represent significant physical effort from consideration, or express explicit disdain for those for whom all of life is lived reclining and all or most social interactions are "abstracted"--but they don't really have to. They don't reference any actual studies of neuroscience or neurochemistry here, but again, they don't really have to. They're drawing from an (I think, in this cultural and ideological environment) intuitively attractive sort of logic in which individual weakness and disease arising from a too-cozy environment can and must be counteracted by individual effort.

My argument is not that social media are not set up to encourage short-term reward-seeking behaviour in a capitalist economic system, or that repeated engagement with anything thus designed cannot or does not alter individuals' neurology in any way (including to their detriment). My argument is not that changing your behaviour & the ways in which you engage with people or environments online cannot be to anyone's benefit. My argument is not that physical isolation is not to anyone's detriment (indeed, the fact that it demonstrably is harmful is key to understanding the violence of imprisonment & of eugenicist responses to the coronavirus pandemic). My argument has nothing to do with neurochemistry.

Rather, what I'm objecting to is roughly: 1. the idea that any connection occurring "online" is necessarily abjected and unreal compared to any connection or interaction occurring in physical space (as if all "irl" connections are deeply meaningful? as if no "online" connections are? as if all of the internet is large social media sites?); 2. the equation of life lived in physical space to "real" life; 3. the language of disease and disability when applied to the above assumptions ("terminally online," "chronically online"); 4. the emphasis on the individual will as a site of resistance in a way that is implicitly moralised. The idea that this is a type of mental and physical disease, combined with the idea that the individual can counteract it by force of will, relies heavily on our cultural and ideological understanding of disease as a moral failing on the part of the individual. Thus many people will mock individuals for being "terminally online" as though it is a personal failing, without necessarily making an argument about how capitalism impacts the structure of social media (or anything else that can alter behaviour or cognitive functioning on the level of the collective).

The logic that blames the individual for a disease, or that connects disease to a fault of not exerting the will, is the same eugenicist logic that, until very recently, mandated graded exercise therapy as the only NHS-funded treatment for CFS. It's similar to the fascist logic that celebrates physical strength and ability as a reflex of mental ability and as the condition of possibility for a strong political movement, recently circulating in the "iron pill" far-right movement on 4chan. I earlier compared it to the logic of degeneration theory and muscular Christianity. My friend @realgarn pointed out to me the Protestant origins of much of this type of logic (in which morality is tied to ascetic living and to mastery over one’s environment), and the fact that the specific genealogies of this genre of thought are no doubt different in different countries. But there's a specific logical and rhetorical through line here that, of course, does not exempt leftists' thought and arguments.

[seakicker]

CW heavy topic: juju i'm really upset because a 18+ server i'm in was talkin about kinks last night and they got really nasty about my pregnancy kink 😭 we were just talking about our fave things so i mentioned it (which i dont do otherwise cause i know not everyone is into it) and a few ppl legit called me a ped0 and said that having a pregnancy kink = sexualizing children. it made me feel awful because i've never seen it like that (and i don't obviously) but it really made me feel gross :(

UGH i’m so sorry to hear that, i’m so tired of people treating kinks and sexuality like some kind of contest on who has the “best taste” or who’s the most “fucked up” and things like that. if they think pregnancy kink is some kind of weird degenerate disgusting underground fetish, they’re clearly either new to the internet or too young to be talking about kinks to begin with because like… fertility statues and rituals and such have been around for literal centuries.

someone saying that pregnancy kink is p3d0philic is a take i’ve actually never seen or heard until now so hopefully that says enough in and of itself— what a Chronically Online take to make bc pregnancy kink has… literally nothing to do with the fetus or the child. nobody here is looking at ultrasound pics and going ZAMNNNNN it is 100% about the look and feel of a pregnant body, knowing that your spouse and you are starting a family and showing love for one another, a more innate and primal desire to “claim” your partner via breeding and such, and other ideas like that. people need to stop trying to scramble to find reasons why things they just don’t personally like are ~problematic~ and leave it at “it’s just not for me” instead of trying to justify it with nonsense. just say you don’t like preg and carry on instead of trying to make it the morality olympics. ugh.

please don’t think you’re gross or wrong for liking what you like, pregnancy is hardly a degenerate fetish like it’s literally just. bigger belly and boobs. like take everything else away and 95% of pregnancy kink is just thinking “man my spouse would be hot as fuck with a round tummy.” i fucking love the look of a pregnant body i think it is undoubtably the most erotic and romantic thing in the entire world and i’m glad i can provide a space here with my work for ppl who think similarly. you’re safe here and i’m sorry people put you down over a kink that is literally innocent and inherently extremely normal. pregnancy sex is normal and safe and there are no shortages of articles and help for married couples who still enjoy sex while pregnant, pregnant bodies are not disgusting or “loose” or obscene, ppl need to grow up when it comes to things they don’t like smh

[running-with-kn1ves]

Do you have any (more) headcanons or facts about Ira? I vaguely remember you making a post with some but I can't find it :( I'm really interested in his character and you're a very talented writer! Take care of yourself! you can always ignore this ask if you don't want to do it :3 no hard feelings

Yeah honestly-- I have n o idea what happened to the headcanons i wrote. Thought I put them on my master list, I guess I hadn't :(.

Also I'm really happy you're interested in him!! :')) it literally blows me away when people talk or ask about my characters/fics. like you're genuinely interested?? In hearing about the weird little stories I make?? Thank you :'DD

TW: threats of suicide/self harm, suicidal thoughts, nondiscriptive self harm, manipulation, guilt tripping, kidnapping

• So, as unfortunate as it is, it's a bit hard to say anything about Ira's social life. I got to reiterate that the man is a hermit, who has only seen the sun because he met his darling. He doesn't go outside, and almost has an 'elitist' point of view of those who spend their time online. But it's mostly just his insecurity that he has no reason to go outside.

• ....keyboard warrior. To the max. Do you think you can insult a chronically online man’s favorite idols and bands without reaping the consequences?

• Definitely has delved into cryptocurrency, may or may not have an empire of dogecoin.

• Is very touchy with his darling, and is essentially making up for all the years he's spent alone without affection. He will make sure to dangle that over his darling's head. "Oh but I've been so alone.. all I want is to hold you."

• Loves loves to be the little spoon, but has to look into their eyes when his darling is uncooperative. It makes him nervous to have them behind him if they're in a foul mood. But he doesn't mind being the big spoon either. That way, he gets to touch his darling as much as possible, and they're forced to wrap their arms around him.

• WILL force his darling into cosplay/costumes either for sexual pleasure or just because it's fun. Especially because it's so utterly embarrassing for them. He may have a bit of his own degradation kink, but he loves to watch his darling squirm and struggle out of the tight fabric that hugs all the right places.

• I know we yandere degenerates are big on dom yanderes, but Ira is a complete sub at worst and 'switch' at best. Except his definition of being a switch or even a dom in his case, is forcing his darling into things he wants, without threats. Just touches. Really, he doesn't have the intimidating glow of someone who's confident or dominant. But that doesn't mean he won't force his darling into his whims.

• Is delusional, but a part of him believes eventually the time with his darling may end. Either out of them escaping, someone finding out, or something happening to him. I think even with his darling, Ira still desperately struggles with his own thoughts along with self-sabotaging/self-harm. And a lot of it is because of his thoughts for darling. He's kidnapped them, how worse could a person get? Not to mention they problably hate him for all he's done.

• These thoughts manifest, and when you're all alone, it's nearly impossible to pull yourself out of them. So, there is still a small chance of Ira killing himself. Though, that has been postponed greatly since his darling came along. There's essentially no time for him to hurt himself now. There’s so much to do, so much to plan with his darling.

• Ira Never really saw himself as a family guy, and never even imagined having kids at first. But once he kidnapped darling his outlook changed.

• It was nice to think about.. the white picket fence, two kids who he can teach his skills to. Raising someone better than he was ever raised. That's his dream, but it's near impossible. Ira doesnt think it possible to have children. What with his uncooperative darling, and the fact that he'd have to keep any offspring locked up in the house, too.

• He's thought about buying a home out north, somewhere quiet with no one to bother him and his darling. That way, he could have everything he wanted. But with his little income and agoraphobic tendencies, that's like getting to the moon.

• Will guilt trip the HECK out of his darling. Even does it unintentionally at times. Though he *does* try to save the manipulation and gaslight girlbossing for when he really needs it. And when I say he uses guilt, he uses it hard. I'm talking self-harm threats, crying, begging, bringing up past events, the whole shebang.

• But, Ira never does it angrily. No, it's always with that whimper in his voice, with a sweet “please” that begs his darling not to go, knife dangling dangerously close. He uses pain to threaten his darling, but turns the blade to himself, making them watch and hear every cry and scream of agony. It's almost worse than being stabbed yourself. Ira knows that even if his darling hates him, they can't bear to watch him hurt himself.

[delusion-of-negation]

so I'm really sick, I have been for a couple days now, and I'm not sure what's causing it (online symptom checker said carbon monoxide but I have my doubts about that hypothesis), aside from the dizziness and nausea and weird head pains, one of the symptoms has been vivid ass dreams/nightmares (even moreso than normal and, given I have chronic nightmares, that is a really high bar). last night I dreamt some dude on here was calling me a tranny and queer and degenerate and all sorts of slurs, but I found a post where he said Hillary Clinton was still his president, so I went on to say "she's not gonna fuck you bro" and so a bunch of people started calling me homophobic because he was gay. I am still kinda mad about it, like bitches it's just a meme phrase, I knew he was gay, I also knew he was an absolute cock who started that shit. to be honest... part of me is turning into a "you cheated on me in my dream last night" girl at a few of y'all, why would fake!you do that to me?