goalsyoudontake

[goalsyoudontake]

(On the lineup for Tuesday against the Leafs) "Matthew's the only guy that we know that needs more healing time so that one won't be the start. Benny probably won't play the next game. Barky might. Sam [Reinhart] might, I'd probably—Sam goes in if Barky goes in and then we'll have some coverage there. Sturm's a possibility. Kulikov's later in the week. Fors could, but that might be something that we'll look at, so..."

[goalsyoudontake]

The chasing days are done! Alex Ovechkin is the greatest goal scorer in the history of the NHL!

[goalsyoudontake]

my old men keep winning 🫶

[goalsyoudontake]

Like, you'd think teams would be able to do something about ovi standing at the spot at this point. It's been 19 years and he's as gray as a wolf. That old man's hips gave out 3 years ago and he's still gonna put up 30, half of which are gonna be from the top of the circle on the power play. Top of the circle power play goal from Ovechkin. Sun rose in the east today i'm guessing? Oh, and it's gonna set in the west, too, I bet. Entire hockey players have been born trained and drafted in that time and we still don't know what to do about that fuckass yellow skatelaces refrigerator-sized piece of dubiously sourced Russian beef just standing in his little spot with his little stick in the air. But that's just how it be on this bitch of an earth

[goalsyoudontake]

I was explaining to my parents why I was randomly watching an early caps vs islanders game and I was like "he's about to break the record, maybe not today but he will" and like 30 seconds later he scored 😂

[goalsyoudontake]

pov: you are wayne gretzky

[goalsyoudontake]

Hebden Bridge, Calderdale, West Yorkshire (England)

[goalsyoudontake]

this has me in tears btw

[goalsyoudontake]

😔✌🏽

[goalsyoudontake]

Marchy signing a rat for a fan recently. 💗🐀

[goalsyoudontake]

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[goalsyoudontake]

[goalsyoudontake]

THE NARRATIVE!!!!!

[goalsyoudontake]

Origins of Astonishment (circa, 1997). Digital-medium

[goalsyoudontake]

[goalsyoudontake]

Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person.