#i'm fully on my spotify playlist shit now

[jeaanmoreau]

good luck babe ft. kevjean reblog if you agree

[sl-vega]

✧Sticking to the Script✧

Pairing: Xingqiu x FEM! Reader

Genre: fake dating, strangers to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst (?), high school smau, modern smau

⋆｡°✩-Synopsis: Xingqiu just got entered into a special writing contest, the type that's invite only, the theme this year is love, the only problem is that he has zero romantic experience. but he really wants to prove himself as a writer. meanwhile, you just found out that your boyfriend cheated on you, and you need to show him that you're 100% over him, the only problem is that there's no way you can get an actual boyfriend that quickly. clearly, the solution to both of your issues is to fake date each other. it shouldn't be hard for an actor such as yourself, all you need to do is stick to the script.

Status: CANCELLED; revamped version

playlist: just here for the vibes. also shoutout to the lovely @uuyuomi for giving me ideas for what songs should be on here

✧MEET THE CAST✧

y/n + company ✧ xingqiu's victims friends ✧ other friendly faces

PROLOGUE-a little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now

01-no chance for a showmance

02-time to write the other 51

03-inspiration? more like desperation

04-the world's a stage and i'm the star

05-lara jean who?

06-not so soft launch

07-rebound already?

08-hollywood here i come

09-i swear i'm not a gold digger guys

10-action!

11-possessive much?

12-juliet's found a new romeo

13-boyfriend vs boy friend

14-no shit sherlock

15-boy you got me helpless

16-you've got it bad

17-denial ain't just a river in egypt

18-third wheeling x10

19-spotify doing me dirty

20-taking my breath away (literally)

21-practice makes you a little too perfect

22-finishing touches

23-cheating but not really

24-feelings are confusing

25-front row seats to my demise

26-confess before the credits roll

27-not the best with words but i'll try for you

28-setting the scene

29-opening night

30-confessions and curtain calls

31-fucking finally

EPILOGUE-that's a wrap!

(OPEN) Taglist: @freyao7, @thatoneswordgirl, @sn1perz, @latay7, @esmetrees, @nmriki0, @help-whatdoimakemyusername, @httpsrenren, @cupid-spams, @aixaingela, @kaitfae, @luvkvni, @danhenglovebot

additional notes:

-this is the reworked version of going of script

-time stamps don't matter

-feel free to comment if you want to be added to the taglist

-this is for all the xingqiu simps and theatre kids

-it's fully planned out so it will start soon :3

-names in bold means I can't tag you btw

[wolfbitkki]

I loved your Soobin fic 🤭 and I loved it so so much, and I thought I'd request smtn, idk about you but when I see Beomgyu I always think of him as a bratty bottom, so here's what I'm thinking:

・FemDom reader (Like femfem.. No one can tell she's the top.. I don't see enough of those type of doms iykwim)

The scenario would be that reader and Beomgyu are roommates, reader is more on the introverted side so she doesn't go out much unlike Beomgyu does, which makes him think “She's probably haven't sex before” so he'd tease her until one day reader is over it and puts him in his place!

For kinks I'd want to see some overstimulation, slight degradation (or praising degrades), pet names, maybe a mommy kink?, & toys (vibrators)

That's all from me for now 🤭

Hello babe, good? Thanks for the request! I’m sorry for taking so long to post, but today I finally had a day off, and I hope the little longer writing make up for my delay. You guys are going feral over bratty Beomgyu and I’m loving every moment of it so far JSHKSHKS, for sure I’ll try to engage a little of every kink you put here, and here we stand up for FemFemdoms!

Im sorry for any mistake, I’m writing it totally stressed out AND a little drunk

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Bratty!Beomgyu x FemDom!Reader

overstimulation, degradation, pet names, mommy kink, toys (bullet and wand vibrator), a single face slap, hairpulling, no piv sex

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Sleepless” (aka my fav Dutch Melrose song)

Tired of him nagging your ears off for four hours straight, you put your headphones on, a chill Spotify playlist giving some peace for your overused hearing sense.

At least for fifteen minutes, before your roommate get bored and took them off of you.

Taking one heavy breath with closed eyes, you finally open them again, not fully ready for Beomgyu’s shit talking again.

“…But are you really still virgin?” Asked after straight four minutes of a monologue of “how people over 20 shouldn’t be virgins anymore”.

For fucks sake.

No, you’re not virgin, but what’s the problem if you were? You could be religious, or that could be just your choice. Why is he so bothered by the thought of you having or not sex?

“Not of your business, Choi, now let me sleep”.

“I can’t! I’m now sure that you’re a freaking virgin and you’re just ashamed to admit. How can you sleep knowing that you’re over 20 and still virgin?”

His logic just doesn’t make sense enough for you, so you just fix the hem of your purple dress with a huff. You put him after your bath since your pajamas are on the dryer.

“I know you’re tired, but listen: you never, never, hang out alone or with someone, you’re always occupied ever since I know you, so you can’t possibly had sex before. So, you’re virgin!”

“Yeah yeah, you figured out the biggest secret of my life, now let’s sleep, Beomgyu” your tired voice gave some chills to the boy’s spine, observing you undo the Dutch braid of your hair, your almost everyday hair style. You thought that just agree with him would save you a little mental sanity.

Oh girl, how wrong.

“Ha! You virgin!” he scoffed “Are you waiting for your prince?”

“Guess you want to be this prince, since you’re making it such a big deal” you answered, rolling your eyes.

“Maybe, it would be lovely to make such a damsel cry for my cock” even not looking at him, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

That was the last straw you needed.

Standing up in a hurry, you gave no time for him to make another joke before you slapped him across the face.

He looked at you, too shocked to speak, hand in his red cheek.

Your stinging hand runs to his hair, taking in a fistful of his overgrown locks.

“Listen to me, very very carefully, Beomgyu. Now, you’ll shut your dirty mouth and do exactly what I want, am I clear?”

At first, he was too shocked with the attitude to speak, so, as little reminder of his new position, you tighten the grip in his hair.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Surprised by his sudden politeness into calling you “ma’am”, you hum at his response. You forcefully make him lay on your own bed, leaving him there to make sure the door is locked.

He wanted to ask if you’re that desperate for losing your virginity as a tease, but he already knows better and kept his mouth shut for the first time.

“You’re unsufferable, Choi, I’m worn-out of it. You need to learn your place for now on, so, that’s how its going to work: first, I’m not going to have sex with you, bad dogs like you don’t deserve it, but you feel a little of what I could do with you if I really wanted to. If something gets too much, just say “red”, then I’ll stop, and if you’re feeling good to continue, say “green”. If you don’t say “red”, I’ll stop whenever I feel like it. Ill not tie you up for now, but if you fucking think about touching me, you’ll regret it.”

Dazed, Beomgyu just nods eagerly. Who’s desperate now?

“You’re just a dumb, desperate whore, Beomgyu, ill make it clear for you since you’re too stupid to realize it by yourself.”

He hated the way his cock throbbed in his pants.

“Sit properly” you demand, “and take off your clothes”.

A little troubled, he does what you want, wondering what you going to do.

While he takes his clothes off in no hurry, you went to your wardrobe and take some things from the last drawer. Beomgyu was shocked seeing the wand and the bullet vibrators in your hand.

“You…”

“It’s clean, don’t you worry about it.”

“I would ask if you… When you use it?” for the first time ever, you saw him blushing at his own question.

“You’re always not home, sometimes I need to relax” you answer as if it was nothing. He didn’t answer.

“Why ae you so quiet now, uh?” you tease “Not so cheeky anymore, Gyu?”

The simple nickname made shivers run down his spine. Good.

Is something hard to explain, the sensation of knowing that you’re the one in charge now, also acknowledging that the whole time, you’ll be fully clothed, while he’s all exposed to you. Is something powerful, this kind of dominance.

“Are you okay? Use your words, Beomgyu” is always good to check up on the subbing one, know if they’re mentally prepared to continue the scene, you know it well.

“Yes, ma’am”.

“You know why I am doing it?’’ you asked, walking towards his naked self, sat in the middle of the bed”

Beomgyu didn’t answered, looking away, making you chuckle.

“Soon you’ll know.”

You pretty dress moves with your body while you sit in bed next to him, exposing your tights a little more, drawing his attention towards them.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Very much, actually.”

Here’s the cheeky tone again.

“Lay on your back. I want you to lay your head on top of your hands, arms up.”

This time, he takes a little more time to react to your words, but you let him take his time without pushing too much further, knowing that everything of it is new to him.

He finally obeys, laying on the bed just the way you wanted, looking at the ceiling.

“Not so brave anymore, bitch?”

He huffs, you ignore.

Looking down, you could see his half hard member.

“Is my dumb whore enjoying it? Enjoying being called this dirty things, uh?”

Your fingertips run along his thigh softly and you observe him chilling and his cock twitching. He closed his eyes with a deep breath. You take advantage of it and take the wand vibrator in your hand, turning it on in the lowest setting at the base of his dick.

He let out a strangled, surprised moan, his hands already flying towards you arm for support, but he remembered your threat, putting his hands back to place.

The game was just starting.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Mo-mommy, please!”

His fucked-out expression made you hum, holding one of his trembling thighs in a heavy grip, your nails digging a little in his skin while the bullet made his way to his tip after his first orgasm.

“Mommy? What is it now, uh?” you chuckle “Didn’t new you like it, Beomgyu… But mommy will make you feel good again and again, wasn’t it what you wanted? Mommy’s attention, slut?”

That was when his sobbing started, already feeling overstimulated from just one orgasm. With your iron grip – that he was surprised that you even had the strength to hold him in place – didn’t let him close his leg, making the sensations stronger. He never stimulated himself after the orgasm, and the feeling hit him hard.

“Color, Beomgyu?”

He hated to admit, but the agonizing sensation was making he feel good in some way, and know that the moment he wasn’t feeling well you will stop, made it even more pleasurable for him.

“Green! Green, mommy, ma-make me cum, pleasepleaseple-ah! Please!” You chuckle at his hurry, caressing his thigh.

“Y’know, I shouldn’t let you, you were so, so bad earlier, pup… maybe I don’t let you cum again at all and just stop here…” Being unfair, you turned on again the wand vibrator in a little higher setting at the base of his dick, not taking off the bullet in his tip, making him squirm, moaning louder that you imagine that he would.

“M'sorry! Sorry, mommy, m’sorry!”

“Are you? Are you really sorry, or you’re just a desperate whore to cum?”

“M’really sorry, I-I swear, m’mmy!”

You could tell that he was using all his self-control to not cum without your permission, and fighting the urge to move his hands from their place he so obediently let them.

“Then you can cum, Choi.” You almost don’t finish your words when he came with a scream, barely nothing coming out, his body having strong goosebumps and spasms.

But you just took away the bullet.

He cried, and you straddled his thighs, not letting him move.

“Just one more and we’re done, can you do it for mommy, puppy?”

You observe the fat tears running down his pink cheeks, smiling to yourself, he was so pretty fucked out like this.

“What’s your color, Gyu? Speak to mommy”.

Taking away the vibrator to let him talk, he takes some deep breaths.

“I… I-I think I can, mommy… Green.”

“That’s a good boy! Let me know if gets too much”.

You put the vibrator almost in the highest setting, again finding its way to his dick.

He sobs and bucks his hips hardly but couldn’t do much since you’re pretty comfortable siting in his thighs. He could feel your soaked cunt through your panties in one of his thighs but couldn’t do anything about it with his hands below his head, trying to obey you. He tried to focus on your pretty hair contouring your face and the strap of your dress slipping off your shoulder, an image that he will never forget.

“I’ll ask again; why am I doing it, Beomgyu?”

“I-I was- humph! I was bad to you, mo-mommy!”

“Right! You were very bad and nosy, Gyu, but is okay, mommy will teach you how to behave properly. What do we say when someone does something good for us, Beomgyu?”

The buzz of the vibrator was inebriating both your senses.

“Thanks, thanks for making me le-learn, mommy, thank you, I’m sorry!”

“What a good boy, already learning! You can come when you’re ready, baby, so good for mommy…”

Not a moment after, Beomgyu came, nothing coming out his slit, just spasming uncontrollably below you, tears streaming nonstop from his closed eyes, sobs and hiccups coming out his beautiful shaped mouth. You turn off the tool immediately and get off his thighs, shushing him.

“There there, baby, you did so good for me, so good for your mommy, I’m proud of you, bae.”

You run your fingers in his damp hair, comforting him after what he would say later as the strongest orgasms he had ever had.

“M’sorry, mommy…”

He says after a while with you calming him down.

“I know baby, is okay, mommy is not mad anymore, you did so well for me.”

You smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Can I eat you out?”

He sounds so sudden and innocently shameless, that you had to laugh.

“Not today, baby, I’m good.”

“But, mommy, please-“ he was ready to whine about it, but you cut him off.

“No, Beomgyu. Want mommy to scold you again?” he pouted and shook his head “So, listen to me. I’m tired, and I can bet you’re exhausted. Maybe another time. Just a minute, babe” you rolled your eyes playfully when he whined again when you get out of the bed to take some wipes to clean him.

You clean his chest, lower belly and, of course, his cock. He hisses, but you were fast, so he didn’t complain a lot.

“I’ll get you some water, okay?”

He nods with a small smile while you walk away, looking you up and down. He loves this dress.

When you came back, he was already fast asleep in your bed with his mouth slightly open, drained out of energy. You chuckle to yourself. Maybe he never learns, but its alright, you’ll always remind him his place.

[saudariel]

the playlist! my contribution to the adar prayer circle lmao 🕯️🕯️🕯️

heavy, aggressive alt/metal. lots of saudar vibes because i feel like their dynamic is so central to adar's arc. or what we've seen of it at least! some of the songs are purely vibes based, some are more based on lyrics. honestly i made this for gifmaking and for background noise when i'm at work but can't escape the Brainrot, so it's not a fully fleshed out character playlist, but i'll add more to it (if our man lives 💀)

enjoy! lyrics under the cut 👀

listen on Spotify here

moth // HELLYEAH

I've been cast out, sequestered Pushed the fuck around Blindsided, beaten Locked up and bound Always thought I was human But maybe I was wrong I've been treated like an animal Since the day I was born The wounds that I wear like the crown upon a king So heavy they lie with all the pain that they bring My life is full of longing, but for what I'll never know I've been drawn into the fire as I reap what I sow

blood // bad omens

There's no rest for the wicked There's not a home underneath the mud And we're all dead, so what's the difference Between a god and a loaded gun? I am the sun, rain, the ocean I am the flood, flames, the chosen It's in our blood, it's on our breath It's in the taste between life and death

soft spine // spiritbox

Soft spine, ascending up to meet my Eyes wide, I am a witness to your regicide The dissolution of your soft spine You all deserve each other You steal the echo from their ghosts You pick your teeth with sacred bones I hate the ones that love you And those who profit from you It's time to reap the tide you sow

god's image // mike's dead

If I was made in God's fucking image Is he as fucked up as I am? Is he sick like me? Is he sick like me? Is he sick like me? If I was made inside the holy system Where the fuck are all my friends? Only space to leave, only space to leave, only space to leave

DEAD THRONE // arankai

Look what you've done, all your skeletons have come to life On a dead throne, tell me how you sleep at night All your sins will be paid in blood a hundred times This isn't retribution, this is fucking regicide

alpha & omega // king 810

Welcome to the truth God made me in His image, who the fuck made you? You want my voice from me? You can have it just know I sound like this, because the Devil has my throat I make your insides shift, that is my gift The sea parts, and then comes the flood And men have died to make this, you can't imitate shit The talent I have, I paid for in blood

house of cards // deadlands

You may think that you have leverage But I'll lay this shit down Think that you're a high-roller Just a joker and a clown Under the gun You'll confess to all the wrongs you've done And when push comes to shove There's nowhere you can run

welcome to hell // mike's dead

I bet you thought that i was finished but I'm back at the gates I am back with the demons and embers and flames And I am not alone I brought a couple million souls So you can see for yourself I'm the king, I'm the goat As above, so below where the light is removed And your death is in bloom on the path seldom took I am here, I am now in the shadows of doom You can call this hell, but I call this home

counting bodies like sheep // a perfect circle

I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and all your demons I'll be the one to protect you from A will to survive and a voice of reason I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and your choices, son They're one in the same, I must isolate you Isolate and save you from yourself

necessary evil // motionless in white

Strip off the weight of mortality and check it at the door I'll show you the worst in me Blow out the candles, I need not a wish for I am everything Now crawl to my boots and lick (kneel before me) Imma have my cake and fucking eat you too It's my party and I'll die when I want to Die when I want to, die when I want to The monster you've made is wearing the crown I'll be the king and you'll be the clown I'll take the blame, parade it around You've made me the villain you can't live without

before i forget // slipknot

Stapled shut, inside an outside world and I'm Sealed in tight, bizarre but right at home Claustrophobic, closing in and I'm Catastrophic, not again I'm smeared across the page and doused in gasoline I wear you like a stain, yet I'm the one who's obscene Catch me up on all your sordid little insurrections I've got no time to lose, I'm just caught up in all the cattle I am a world before I am a man I was a creature before I could stand I will remember before I forget

black sheep // crown the empire

You kick me in the teeth, then pin me to the ground You take the sickest part of me and spit it out your goddamn mouth All my life I've been running with the black sheep Cast me out, watch me come back as king

exit wounds // bad omens

Raised by wolves in sheep's clothes that abandoned me But taught me to get up when I fall to my knees Man makes monster, monster kills man Taking your crown's always been part of the plan

villain arc // bury tomorrow

These walls can't hold us No prisoners Godless, no control I'll say it, "Fuck your halo" This world can't take us No prisoners, Godless evermore Fuck your halo Destined to go through hell For this fire inside of me I am labelled an enemy And I like the way it burns It's like they'll never learn

WAR // mike's dead

All of my life I’ve been yearning for violence I’d sell my soul just to burn in the riots All of my life I’ve been clinging to pain I need someone to blame For these thoughts in my brain Feel the blood on my chin I’ve been off of my shit don’t tempt me Feel the parasites in my skin Didn’t know I could feel this empty Who’s at fault, for my lack of resolve?

red // woe, is me

Now I'm free, you goddamned leech Fuck your pulpit, and fuck what you preach You may have the world at your feet But nothing in this life is concrete You’re self-indulgent at my expense So let me give you my two cents

power // king yosef

This being was made a long time ago I've peeled the wound and I let it show Change for better or worse Perpetuate pain 'til the flesh meets the Earth I've always been like this, it sits in my skin Reinvent myself, won't let you in You do all you can, I do all I want The things that make a man The things that make a God

crushed // deadlands

I'm done being seen as a motherfucking pawn You use and abuse me to get what you want I'm done being burned and a game that you play I'm so fucking sick I'll do it my way We'll do it my way The predator is now the prey Enough is enough Now you're the one who's fucking crushed

remember me // dal av, andy cizek

Amidst a violent night, there is a dying star Mired in lies and spite, it's fading from afar I used to chase the sun, now I'm afraid of it But if I'm honest, I never thought I would get this far I was a loaded gun, now I'm in front of one A catatonic cycle, over and over Am I alive? Am I a phantom? What was on fire is now but a fading ember Will I survive? Is there an answer? And if I die now, will anyone remember?

higher than death // 3TEETH

How should we die? Our beautiful freedom Can't keep it alive when you can't find the meaning Look at us now, beaten and bleeding I'm higher than death It's theft, everything they took from us And left lies, lies, lies What's left? Motherfucking selfish greed As they let us die

the hell i overcame // bad omens

Oh, did you really think the pain Would send me to an early grave? Did you think I couldn't break these chains After all the hell I overcame? God, please, forgive those who doubt me Forgot about me Then throw them down into the flames

burned at both ends // motionless in white

Nothing is like it was before I know not who I am anymore Chasing something that's behind me When will I be set free? Broken promises left to mend Burning the candle at both ends No light to find my way back home But I don't know where home is anymore The sinking ship has washed ashore

burned at both ends II // motionless in white

Leaving you behind left me aimless Staring in the mirror and I feel like I'm faceless The only thing I know is that I'd rather die Than live in a world where you still control my life The curse you left, it ends tonight Even if I have to tear out my insides Never again will this heart be your home I'll be happy as someone else Today, I found my open door I set my sights on something more I'm done reliving the pain you dealt me I'm sick of trying to take back time Today, I live for something more

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/14/2024

googled "sample bon mot" in a fit of desperation, considered asking chatgpt to generate me some for 0.2 seconds before the visceral BLEUGH reaction plus remembered that every query is like pouring a 16oz water bottle out on the ground, and figured this series of events would be a better intro than anything else i could come up with

listening

miya folick's Pet Body was off last week's spotify rec playlist. i had liked some individual songs by miya folick (singer/songwriter/alt/indie/dance/electronica) but now i gotta really dive into her discography-- this particular very peppy and upbeat song with dire lyrics is really clicking with me lately as my body overreacts to texas pollen and engages in other known misbehaviors.

the chorus, my god

Proper care and feeding for my pet body

and this verse

I'm just a brain with a pet body Out for a walk until I croak I'm just an ordinary subject In an ordinary book

as my mother used to say, i'm real fuckin sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!

-

reading

ough i need to vacuum. i picked up Mrs Vargas and the Dead Naturalist by Kathleen Alcalá for a dollar last summer bc 0) killer title 1) it was a dollar 2) cool cover 3) autographed 4) endorsed by le guin.

kind of fascinating as an object: weird little lesbian (?) boutique press that's still around, idk ive ever seen a notice about steps they took to ensure the longevity of the physical book before?

i find myself bouncing off latin and south american magical realism a lot bc i am not in those authors’ intended audiences/i do not have the background to fully appreciate them. i have a bachelors of science. and that’s fine bc that’s the point! this is one of the very few times post-college where i caught myself thinking “man i gotta find a class to take about this”.

even if i do not understand the wider cultural context or the real-life figures she obliquely references in many of these short stories (i am convinced the bird-voiced singer is based on a real singer), i do appreciate alcalá’s craft: true short stories, she makes her point and then ends it. the twist in Reading the Road specifically— woof that’s gonna stick with me for a bit. a perfect little o henry twist of the knife. i wanted so badly to link this specific short story but apparently nobody has used it to teach anything and the book itself is not widely available/on the internet archive/etc. u will have to find this story of a roadside fortune teller (who is current on all her business permits) and one day's fortune telling, by yourself perhaps through your library

-

watching

the prisoner, the seventeen episode british sixties tv cult classic. let's yoink the description from wikipedia.

The Prisoner is a British television series created by Patrick McGoohan, with possible contributions from George Markstein.[2] McGoohan portrays Number Six, an unnamed British intelligence agent who is abducted and imprisoned in a mysterious coastal village after resigning from his position.[3] The allegorical plotlines of the series contain elements of science fiction, psychological drama, and spy fiction.

number six shares a lot of traits with my cat philip marlowe, as they are both hell fucking bent on escaping and all attempts to restrain them just sort of train them to be better at the next attempt? as one might expect from a heavily allegorical sixties show, kind of heavy emotional going so im watching an episode every day or two.

why am i watching this? it's free on my library streaming service (and tubi), and i don't have a lot going on. i love one-season cancelled shows, i love Dad Media, unfortunately i was a navy brat and i do love some cloak and dagger shit. i LOOOOVE a fucked up little town and bureaucracy-as-cudgel. i actually came across this when i wishlisted the game We Happy Few back in 2018, another entry in the "creepy little british towns" genre. have yet to play it

-

playing

the cosmology and general backstory of genshin is convoluted as hell (The Gods are real and live in the sky, but some lowercase-g gods are also rulers of the seven nations in-game) but they have been foreshadowing a grand showdown since the very beginning of the game. one player character cannot de- or re-stablize so many regions and engage in so many power struggles without someone taking notice.

i did NOT, however, expect one of the regional god-rulers (purple) to start planning for this divine war in a side cutscene in a seasonal event. a seasonal event around rock n roll rhythm games. absolutely devastated i missed the pink fox lady's rerun right after i had to give my work laptop back and before i got the PC fixed. this game will not run on my iphone 12 for love or money

-

making

bit of a depression hovel situation going on. we are slowly rolling that back tho. finally met my landlord during the HVAC replacement debacle, he said that he bought this apartment in 2009, lived here for ten years, and then his parents lived here for a couple years. i am the first non-family tenant, i think. all of the appliances and fixtures are from 2009. i think the fridge will be the next to go. ANYWAY. i asked him what the deal was with the lack of bathroom vents and HE said when he had an air conditioner put in in 2009 the HVAC guy then assured him he only needed the HVAC vents and closed up the actual vents. which is a load of shit. i am not really excited to live here for another year but i really super can't afford to move and finding an apartment in houston the first time was such a goddamn nightmare. i cannot do three years tho. hopefully something will have changed by august 2025.

i have also, through a special cashback bonus reward on my credit card, a sale, a gift card, and cashing in more cashback money, acquired a cat tree for philip. modeled here by mackie bc we did room swapping again as i was writing this. i cannot be bothered to install curtain tiebacks or properly fold anything, as you can see below

[scekrex]

Time for fluff, cause I'm depressed after the angst one 🥲

Adam and reader creating playlists for each other, generally just songs that remind them of each other and the whole thing just being adorable and stuff. Obviously Adam wouldn't be himself if he didn't add a song like "Like hiskey" or "Good Lookin'" by Dixon Dallas 😂😂 But honestly, I feel like he would take it quite seriously, like a task that he decided to fulfill to the best of his abilities and it's up to you what songs exactly you'd like to use, but I really think Adam's playlist for reader would contain "Halo" by Beyoncé and reader's playlist for Adam would contain "Can't Help Falling In love" by Elvis Presley amongst many others. They just listen to their playlists, maybe even in like seperate rooms, each playlist ending approximately around the same time so when they come out of the rooms they just look at each other with the biggest grins and lovesick looks on their faces. The fluff is fluffing in my mind, hoping to fluff you up too, sugar 😉

The fluff is fluffing up my brains babes, your cute ass can fluff me up anytime

Figure you out

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

You had been sitting on the couch for at least two hours by now, Adam's head was resting on your lap as the both of you went through Spotify in order to create the perfect playlists for each other. It was harder than you first thought it would be, there were too many songs that reminded you of Adam simply because he listened to them regularly - some of them were even his own fucking songs, how could his own songs not remind you of him?

“How’s it going, big guy?” you asked as you put your phone aside for a moment to run your hand through his soft, messy hair. He hummed, leaned into your touch and closed his eyes to embrace it fully, “Good, I think. Too many songs on this fucking app fit you though, babes, gonna be on it all fucking day.” You chuckled softly, “Let’s reduce it to ten songs then, that way it won't take us all of eternity to listen to every fucking song that's in the playlist.” The brunette thought about it for a moment, then hummed in agreement as he went back to focusing on his current task, you did the same.

With a limit set, it was easier to finish the playlist because not even twenty minutes later both of you were done. You exchanged links and soon after that, Adam got up, stretched himself like a cat would do after a long, resting nap, “I’ll listen to that shit right fucking now, you do the same. We meet back here when we're done, sounds cool?” You playfully saluted him with a small nod, “Sounds cool, Sir.” He mumbled something about what an idiot you were as he took off to do as he had told you. You decided to stay in the living room, it was easier that way.

A quick glance at the tracklist made you grin, tracks like ‘Halo’ by Beyoncé, ‘Like hiskey’ by Dixon Dallas and ‘Do It For Me’ by Rosenfeld caught your attention. Adam had taken that task of creating you a playlist really seriously and you honestly adored it. You hit play and the first song started to play.

Adam threw himself onto the bed once the bedroom door fell shut behind him and he checked the playlist you had made for him with curious eyes. “Fucking ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’, fucking knew it,” he mumbled to himself as his eyes read titles like ‘Do or Die' by Natalie Jane, ‘Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold and ‘Freak On a Leash’ by Korn. You really knew him that well, huh? Obviously you did, he had married you for a reason after all. His thumb hit the green play button and the beat of the first song started to play.

-

The last song of the playlist Adam had created for you finished and the music stopped entirely as the first man stepped through the bedroom door and therefore entered the living room. “You’re a fucking bitch,” he grinned at you as he crossed the room to stand right in front of you. You were still sitting on the couch and your face was pretty much on crotch level as you shot him an equally wide grin and grabbed his hips to wiggle them a little, “Yet you fucking adore me and would serve me the entirety of earth on a golden platter if I were to ask for it.”

Adam dropped to his knees in order to look you in the eyes properly, “Damn fucking right and you better never forget that, babes.” And with that he leaned in to kiss you softly, there was no intention in deepening the kiss, it was all softness and love. Your hands gently cupped his face as his left hand rested on your jaw, his right hand was being pressed flat against the couch in order to steady himself.

[asmutwriter]

You Saved me (Part 17)

DESCRIPTION: (Season 14) You get a house call from a new visitor

A/N: Yes these descriptions are getting shorter and less descriptive with each new part

Also do you like the new header's I'm using in my posts?

WORD COUNT: 2569

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: swearing, violence, Michael!Dean, death

DISCLAIMERS

- This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

6 MONTHS LATER

You drop the girls off at school. Checking your phone for the time. Running on time for once. Having half an hour to get to work, which was only 15 minutes away. You smile. Turning your spotify playlist up to nearly max volume as you drive. Singing in excessive volume as you make your way to work.

You pull up to the car park. Grabbing your phone out of your bag and checking it properly. Turning off 'driving mode'. Wanting to kill 10 minutes before your shift started. Your phones buzzes through the unseen messages. One catching your eye as you see your bosses name pop up

'Incident at work last night. Closed today. 9am start tomorrow'

"Shit" you mutter. You should've checked your messages before leaving the school. You let out an annoyed sigh as you hold the steering wheel. "Oh well" you start up the engine. A smile coming over your face as you start driving home "free day".

You spend the day cleaning. Over the past couple of months you'd managed to have the work done fully to the upstairs part of your house. The attic was transformed into two bedrooms. One for each of your daughters as you took their previously shared downstairs room. You were just painting the different rooms now. Making the house really your home. You stand back. Admiring the work you'd done. Nodding to yourself as a smile creeps over your face.

"Hello Kathrine". A voice says behind you. You turn around. Jumping. A man in a suit and flat cap sat on your dining room chair. Legs folded neatly over one another. You clutch at your chest as you meet his green orbs.

"Jesus fuck you scared me Dean". You say. He half smiles at the name.

"Guess again". You furrow your brow slightly.

"I don't..." his eyes flash a white blue. You tense slightly. Trying not to show the sudden unease you feel. "Who are you? Why do you look like Dean?"

"I'm just borrowing him for a while. Don't worry that pretty head of yours. Your boyfriend is safe" he taps his head. "Right up here". You analyse him. His calm posture.

"What are you?"

"Are you asking in politeness or to try and figure out how you can kill me?". You smile at him. Tilting your head to the side as you both look at each other.

"Why don't you tell me to find out?". He smiles. Humoured by your boldness.

"The name is Michael". You look at him. Trying to read him. "The archangel". You try your best to remain calm. But he notices you shift. "You've heard of me".

"I'm pretty sure every person in the western world has heard of you. Now why the fuck are you here?"

"I just want to chat"

"And I want you to get out of my house"

"You don't want to hear what I have to say?"

"No". You turn, picking up a small pallet knife you were using earlier for the walls. Pointing it up. Taking a step towards him "Get out. Now". He looks at the small knife. Then at you.

"You do know that that-" he motions at the item "wont hurt me"

"No. But it will make me feel better if I use it on you". He smiles. An obvious amusement in his eyes.

"You're brave. Braver then I thought you would be". You stay silent. Making sure you keep your eyes on him. Being aware. Alert. He smiles. "I'm here to give you a proposition. I'm building an army. A powerful one. I'd like you to fight by my side"

"Why would I agree to that?"

"Don't you want to help protect your children?". You shuffle slightly. "Going through his thoughts - Deans memories - it wasn't only you I picked up on. What are their names..." he trails off. Snapping his finger as if he suddenly remembers it. "Anna and Lydia. Sweet girls they are". Smiling at you. An almost sickly smile. "Join me and they'll be safe. I'll keep them safe"

"I've kept them safe for 16 years. I think I'll be ok without your help". He watches you. Neither of you having moved from your spots. Him remaining sat at your dining room table. You with your knife sticking towards him still.

"You truly fascinate me". He grazes his eyes over you. Examining you. "Rummaging around Deans memories I've seen you be unbeatable. A great and accomplished woman".

"I'm flattered. Truly. Now get the fuck out of my house". He laughs. Looking away from you briefly before bringing his eyes back to yours. You swallow deeply. "Why me?". He tilts his head slightly. The smile he had disappears at your question. "There are powerful monsters in this world. Some great hunters. Fucks sake there is literal gods walking among us. So why have you - an angel of the lord - come to ask me to fight by your side?" He lets out a soft chuckle. Standing up as he watches you. You shuffle slightly. Moving backwards a step.

"You don't know what you are?" You move backwards as he takes a few steps towards you. You go to swipe at him but he blocks the attack. Grabbing your wrist and twisting it. Bringing it up and around your back. Pushing you into the kitchen counter top. Arm wretched behind you as he forces you over it. You feel him take the small blade from your fingers. Hearing the metal hit the ground as he tosses it aside. You struggle but his grip is harsh around your wrist.

"Let me go" you wiggle. Causing his hand to tighten.

"You've never wondered how you keep coming back from the dead? How an ordinary human can keep dying over and over again yet have no scars to prove it?".

"You're in a Winchesters brain. Surely you know that that's a standard thing". He pushes your arm up. Hurting the joint. You let out a whimpered laugh at the pain. Gritting your teeth. You move your free hand. Trying to grab something but he grabs that wrist too. Pinning it down near your head. You're stuck. Completely at his mercy. Your eyes frantic as you try and look behind you. Unable to see him due to the angle you're at. Chest flat against the counter. Fear washing over you.

"Due to your beautiful, heartfelt moment you had with Dean I know that mummy dearest made a demon deal to have you". You shut your eyes. "Now I'm unsure of what she said exactly and what demons are capable of. So one of two things happened. Either they took what she said literally. Taking 'I want my child to have a long life' to the extreme of bringing you back until you've reached that goal". You shake your head. Biting your bottom lip as he continues talking. Trying to push against him but to now avail.

"Or what I theorise is that they can't work miracles. They can't make new life happen. But they can expand on existing life. So, they plucked one of their tortured souls from hell and planted it into your mum. Creating you"

"Please. Please let me go..." you whisper. Almost a whimper. Cursing at yourself for not sounding as strong as you'd like to.

"That means that you are already dead. You are just a soul plucked from the depths of hell and reborn again. But you can't kill a ghost. You can lay it to rest, but a ghost can't die. Not unless you destroy its bones. Which is why you come back to life". He drops your wrist. Grabbing a handful of your hair as he pulls you up. You feel tears threatening your eyes. You don't look near him. Trying to avoid any of his features as you look away. Feeling his breath hit your ear as he speaks into it.

"Shall we put your immortality to the test?"

"No. No please no. Please". You start to feel a burning sensation. Throughout your eyes, mouth. Body. Your very soul on fire. You scream out. Trying to fight against him. But he remains unfazed. His eyes glowing as he watches you die.

-

You jolt awake. Lying on the sofa you bolt upright. The fear you had in your body still present. Especially when you look over. Michael sat on the arm chair. That same position he was in when you first saw him. Hands neatly on his lap. Legs folded one over the other. He glances at the clock on the wall.

"17 minutes and 53 seconds" he looks back at you. "That's how long you were dead for".

"So what?" you whisper. Scared eyes watching him. "You're telling me that I'm a living ghost?"

"Essentially. And the only way for you to die - truly die - is by burning your original spirits bones"

"That's why you want me to fight for you? To have an immortal on your side?"

"I've been around a long time. Before the dawn of man. I've seen powerful creatures. Holy and unholy. Walking gods. But they've all been killed off. Had a weakness. Sickness. Old age. Some human claiming to be a hero". He continues watching you "You are a strong woman. One of the strongest I've seen. We could rule this planet. Make it ours. Two gods side by side". A soft smile on his face as he watches you. A manic, soft smile. The fear in your eyes still evident. Your entire body tense as you look at him.

"You'd have nothing to fear from me Kathrine. Yes I could kill you. Easily in fact. But you'll come back. Every. Single. Time".

Before you can say anything, you hear the front door open. You turn in your seat. Standing up as you hear the familiar sound of you children. Anna and Lydia walk down the hallway, coming into the living room. They go to speak to you but Anna sees Dean. Well, his meat suit anyway.

"Dean!" she says. Her usual excitment in her voice. Going over to hug him. Lydia grabs her arm. Pulling her back. She looks at her younger sister who just shakes her head. He watches them both. Anna turning back to look at him.

"Girls" you say. Managing to hide the fear with a stern tone. "Go to your room. Now". Lydia turns, trying to take her sister with her but the eldest refuses to move. Keeping her ground as she looks at you. The younger keeps a hold of her hand.

"Please Anna" she whispers. Eyes darting between her sister and the green eyed man. "Please". She watches his eyes before nodding slightly. Allowing her to be taken to her room upstairs. Hearing the door shut. Feeling his eyes falling back onto you.

"Fascinating" You turn to face him. "Truly fascinating".

"What?"

"Your girls. They seemed to have some link with emotions. I thought it might only be you with that gift, given your birth. But for them to feel that I was not their friend. Just by being in the same room as me. That's truly fascinating". You point towards your front door. Hand shaking as you do so. You were so high on adrenaline and fear that you didn't care at this moment.

"I don't want to join your army. I don't want to be in a war. On either side. I just want to live out my life with my family. So please get out of my house". He watches. Standing up. Slow. His eyes fall onto yours. He takes in a breath. Walking towards you as he speaks.

"I respect you. I respect your decision to not join my war" He comes in front of you. Taking your chin in his thumb and forefinger. Your eyes darting down to his hand before going back up to his eyes. Frantically moving between them. The normally familiar green being cold and harsh. "If you don't want to fight by my side in this war then I will leave you and your children alone. Besides, we both know that killing you would be pointless". Eyes still watching yours "I will let you be happy with your family". You manage to control your breathing. Able to speak in coherent sentences.

"Deans in there, right?". Your voice so soft. He nods, dropping his hand. "I want to speak to him"

"I cant do that".

"We both know that you can. Let me talk to him".

"No"

"Why?"

"I'm growing tired of this conversation Kathrine"

"You don't get to call me Kathrine"

"Kathrine, Rose. Whatever you want to be called. I am leaving. You don't want to join my war, therefore you are serving me no purpose". With that sentence he disappears. You look around.

"Fuck" you mutter. You go to the stairs. Taking two steps at a time as you practically run up them. Not bothering to knock as you open the door. Seeing your girls sitting. One on the bed, the other at the desk. Both doing their homework. They both look at you.

"How was Dean?". Lydia asks. You go over to her. Hugging her tightly. Kissing the top of her head. "Mum. Can't breath. Need oxygen". You let go of her. Going over to Anna and giving her the same hugging treatment.

"Are you ok?". Anna says once you'd let her go from the vice grip you have on her. You nod.

"Fine. I'm fine. Just happy to see you girls. I've had a stressful and long day today. Just really glad to see you both" your pause is very brief. "I need to go make a phone call. What do you guys feel about takeaway tonight?". Their gleeful smiles implies a positive response to the suggestion.

You leave their room. Going downstairs you grab your phone from the living room coffee table. Scrolling through the names. You're sure you saved it... "Yes!" you exclaim. Hitting the number and placing it to your ear.

"Hello?" the voice says.

"Sam!"

"Rose?" an obvious confusion in his voice. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes. No. No its not. I just had a run in with Dean. Or I guess not Dean. Some guy called Michael"

"How long ago was this?"

"About 2 minutes ago. But hes gone now. He just- disappeared"

"Angels will do that" he pauses. "What did he say to you?"

"Something about wanting an army for a war"

"Crap"

"It sounds serious"

"That is an understatement". You hear vague chatter in the background. "Ok. I need to figure out what to do about this. You said he disapeared?"

"Vanished. One minute he was there, the next he was gone"

"By the time I get to you he'll be long gone. He could be the other side of the world by now. Shit" he mutters.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No. Not at this moment. Just keep you and your children safe. And ring me if he turns up again, ok?"

"I will"

"Good"

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Let me know when you find him. When hes safe". He pauses for a short moment.

"I will"

"Thank you". You can hear him smile slightly.

"Bye". Clicks off. You put your phone down. Running your paint stained hands through your hair as you look around your room.

Previous / Next

TAGS

@sojuxxi

[grapecaseschoices]

@thee-morrigan has tagged me to pick five songs i like! i decided not to go with my top five spotify repeat songs, and instead go with recent ones that have been puttering in my brain [the ones who SHOULD be top five lool].

1] Dear Wormwood - The Oh Hellos:

But now I understand you/And I will not be part of your designs/I know who I am now/And all that you've made of me/I know who you are now/And I name you my enemy

So, I've been "working" [haha. smh .... no] on a possible future Kenedis, who is a mix of TWC!Kendis, Exile!Kendis, and a couple of past RP concepts. So, ofc, this mean shit parents have to be a part of the backstory. Hence this song that I feel fits my nebulous ideas for an arc, lol.

2] Seven Devils - Florence + The Machine: What playlist wouldn't be made better without this song? I just don't know which one to put it in yet, lol. I am making a series of playlists for a set of future characters for a RP i might be joining [the one mentioned above], it started with me wanting a Florence song for Kendis [bc I've had at least one Florence song or at least a song by an indie rock/folk artist in my past few Kendis playlists]. But I'm still deciding if this is the one I want. But I just ended up thinking about this song a lot as well as about how much I like/d it. So here it is!

3] Silence - Khalid, Marshmello:

I'm in need of a savior (savior)/But I'm not asking for favors /My whole life, I've felt like a burden/I think too much, and I hate it/I'm so used to being in the wrong/I'm tired of caring/Loving never gave me a home/So I'll sit here in the silence/I found peace in your violence/Can't tell me there's no point in trying/I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long,

Been on and off so in love with this song [have I ever been fully off it? LMAO]. To keep it short - since this entire thing is lengthy - I feel this would fit Austyn if I ever did a playlist [probably won't] in her POV, particularly re: her relationship with Kendis [oh first loves~].

4] Ready For Anything - Blackway, Aeph, Koko:

Even as prey I can chase off the predators/You can′t run with me lil boy you too delicate/Hold Up/I′m feeling a little bit dangerous/And they looking a little bit anxious/If I'm laughing when/ I′m twiddling my fingers/It's only a warning that you can′t just/Walk up to me

I haven't strongly with the desire to write, but I've been still low-key itching with ideas. And one of the ideas, is for this future RP, involving a darker Andy. I usually play Andy before or after the travesty that really fucked up his life [he has a few too, so I should say ADULT life]. But not during for many years. I'm [nervously] hoping to, and this song fits real well what I've been pondering. Not 10, 000% but strongly enough.

5] Achilles Come Down - Gangs of Youth: You crave the applause yet hate the attention.

Sooooo I recently realized this song is perfect for Kendis. I don't know why I never have, lmao. I mean in general but particularly for specific Kendis'. Again, like the above it''s 10, 000% but it's ENOUGH that I've re-fallen in love with this song. Ugh. It hurts.

(Honorable mention [as this recently has gotten back into my head] The Moss - Cosmo Sheldrake)

just gonna tag 5 people, sorry if you've done this!: @quaxorascal @wayhavenots @agnes-nutter @thats-a-lot-of-cortisol @laufire

[realultimatepower]

my friend @marchperi tagged me in one of those "what's your last X" posts, which is the first time anyone has ever tagged me across two accounts on here, so here we go.

Lockscreen

The Vault-Tec-esque style has always been dependable for me. Shit, I gotta plug this thing in.

Last Song Listened To

I was originally gonna say that I couldn't remember and that it was just some song off Yacht Rock Radio on SiriusXM (don't judge me, I'm white, you may as well ask me to stop breathing before I stop listening to Steely Dan) BUT I actually just finished watching the latest episode of The Penguin, and they played a song by SWANS over the end credits, so I'll put that here.

Last Photo I Took

This picture has a story attached to it that I don't feel comfortable sharing because it ended an argument that I still have some lingering frustrations over. Whatever.

Last Movie I Watched

Rewatched this for family movie night yesterday. First time I've seen it again since I was a kid. I liked it a normal amount back then, and I like it the same amount now even if some of my thoughts about it have changed as a result of being slightly more analytical about the movies I watch. I think my only gripe with it is how the romance between Kim & Edward is a little bit too easy. It's not rushed, it just seems to fall in place just because rather than any actual connection between the two. Maybe there's some commentary about how Edward represents a world unlike either of the ones Kim currently inhabits (the 90s rebellion of her generation against the 50s sensibilities of her neighborhood) and that's tempting to her, but idk. I usually write up these letterboxd reviews for the stuff I watch (no, I won't share my account on here) but since I got up for a few minutes to cook my dinner, I didn't wanna write up my thoughts based on a partial rewatch. I'll probably refer back to this post later, though.

Closest Thing to My Left

The remote to my ceiling fan. Lame, but that's the closest thing to me. I'm being fully honest with this.

Last Meme I Saved/Screenshot

This shitty little squirreljak, because the topic of that republican who adopted a wild squirrel came up in the politics channel of this server I'm in, and there's this other guy in the server who posts this pic so often that it's become an inside joke. My opinion on "Peanut"? I think this is a stupid thing for people to rally around, but that's the point. The right is always playing these dudebro games about not taking anything seriously so when anyone calls them out on it the Leftists trying to treat it that way end up looking even sillier. That said, I saw that tweet from some pundit about Trump "winning 48 states if he [puts on a squirrel suit]" and thought it was some gaga about securing the furry vote because I hadn't heard about the Peanut debacle prior to seeing it, and since I doubt that's what the guy intended when he made the post it makes it so I'm laughing at him instead of him laughing at me. All-in-all, I really hope the next time I hear about Trump after he loses in 2 days is about him dying, and then I'll never hear about him again.

Most Embarrassing Song You Have Saved

I don't have a Spotify because I can listen to music on youtube for free with Ublock (or on SiriusXM through my parents' account), but I do keep a playlist on youtube so I pulled the song for this prompt from on there. It took some searching, because i've got over 800 songs spread out over 3 separate playlists that while others may find me to be embarrassing to have in there, I feel no shame over because that's simply the person I was at the time and most of it is still objectively enjoyable (things like a PSG AMV set to the song Danger Days or a Mother Mother song I liked long before they became hip to dunk on). But, I eventually found a song that I thought was funny at the time, but now I think if people knew I ever liked it they'd think I was an actual fan of his.

Most Problematic Movie You Still Watch for Nostalgia

Originally I was gonna edit this to be the most problematic film I feel nostalgic for, because I don't actually rewatch movies that often when there's so many that I haven't seen yet and time is a precious commodity, BUT there actually is a somewhat problematic feature that I do rewatch at least once a year.

Well, "problematic" in the sense that soooo many fans of the original absolutely despise this remake and Matthew Broderick for "butchering" the role of Harold Hill. I still haven't seen the original to compare it against yet, but I have a feeling I'm still gonna prefer this one simply because I love the hokey mid-2000s acting in it as much as I do the musical performances. If you think this is a copout, just ask any theater major you still have contact with their opinions.

I don't know if there's usually a limit to how many people you can tag for this, so I'll pick 5: @visonoda @emosighcrylaugh @st4rm41d @theinsanewombat @thepleasuregoblin

[eminentzayn]

after the hiatus, i kind of drifted away from the boys. i didn't really listen to their solo singles nor did i conciously listen to 1d songs anymore. i lived life with small reminders here and there of 1d whenever i'd hear their songs on the radio or if my spotify playlist randomly plays one of their songs.

i remember in one of the most difficult exams in my law school life that i had to study for, i listened to their songs nonstop. that was one of the few times after the hiatus that i actually chose to listen to their songs. it was like taking a trip down memory lane.

throughout the years, however, i feel like i always knew that my 1d core, the directioner in me, still existed. within the deepest part of my soul is a 12 year old who will forever be crazy for one direction.

they were a reminder of a time in my life when i was genuinely happy. i remember i'd come home ready to go to work in this site and reblog the shit out of their shows. i joined many friends in trying to interpret each little interaction they had. so many small things that all add up to the best days of my life.

when zayn left, it broke my heart. i felt like it was a chapter of 1d closing because i knew that it was only a matter of time before they'd fully disbanded. they, after all, were ot5. they always had been and to have lost zayn in the middle of the OTRA tour-- my heart was starting to accept that we were nearing the end.

however, ot4 stayed (and slayed). they continued and fought strong because they knew how much they meant to the fans. despite losing zayn, they still made it work. i knew they were heartbroken too but they kept going for the fans, for all of us. i will forever be thankful for that.

i know in my heart that liam was a big part of why ot4 continued. he has always been the father of the group. he kept them together. he was arguably the one who interacted with the fans the most. he truly, truly loved one direction and the family they built. even to his last day, he held on to his brothers.

now, liam is gone. frankly, when i first heard about it, i didn't react. i read about it and was in denial, i think, for the whole day. i didn't really realize the impact of his loss. however, now the loss is consuming me. he was an integral part of my childhood and now he's just gone. how do you move past that?

our hearts are broken for we lost someone who was a very important part of our childhood. after years of not opening my tumblr account, i felt like i came home to my childhood friends. however, i never thought i'd come home to this.

i just want to say that i'm heartbroken and even that is an understatement. perhaps, one day, we'll be able to look back at this period with fondness. but as of now, i fucking hate this. i loathe the fact that we are grieving liam payne. he had so much more to do, he would've made more music, made more apologies, made more memories. i refuse to believe that he's just gone.

i love you so much liam.

[icegirl2772]

i need your songs for kaelyn and james!!!

Okay, fair warning. I'm gonna be that totally extra person and do two versions: one normal, one BTR. Because I'm me. :P

And yes, feel free to totally judge what I have on my main playlist. (I've got over 1800 songs - let's see what it spits out)

Normal Version:

Opening Credits: Make You Feel My Love by Adele (Well, we're off to a good start) Meeting for the First Time: One More Light by Linkin Park (well, that ended up depressing) Hey, I Kinda Like You: Final Masquerade by Linkin Park (seriously? 1800 songs and you spit out this, Spotify?) I'm Going to Kiss You Now: That's Where You Find Love by Westlife (Okay, now we're getting a bit hopeful) Falling in Love: Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile by Sia (...yeah, I have no words; I guess it kinda fits because you're happy in love) Your Place or Mine: Irgendwas Bleibt by Silbermond (yeah, I've got a German song on my playlist - the English translation of the lyrics) Naked in Bed: True Love by Pink and Lily Allen (Hey. Good for a love/hate relationship) First Fight: Believe It or Not by Joey Scarbury (and the award for most random song choice goes to...) Maybe We Should Take a Break: Loud by Shannon Noll (Okay, my Spotify playlist is letting me down) I Want You Back: Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry (Come on, Spotify, you're killing me!) Will You Marry Me: Dancing with Strangers by Jeremy Shada (Spotify, I thought I curated you better than this) First Child: It Is What It Is by Jamie Miller (Okay, this is getting ridiculous now) We're Getting Older: She's So Mean by Matchbox 20 (Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph...) If You Die, I'll Go With You: Just Give Me a Reason by Pink and Nate Ruess (okay, you couldn't have shown up a few categories ago?) End Credits: Fly Away by Tones and I (Okay, since this is an end credits situation, IDGAF here)

BTR Version:

Okay, if the boys don't come through for me, I won't be responsible for what I do next.

Opening Credits: Na Na Na (this should've been end credits) Meeting for the First Time: Fall (...okay, not the worst) Hey, I Kinda Like You: Count on You (with Jordin Sparks) (okay, we're doing good so far) I'm Going to Kiss You Now: Music Sounds Better (with Mann) (hey, not bad) Falling in Love: Get Up (and there's the disappointing option) Your Place or Mine: Shot in the Dark (maybe this should be for I Want You Back) Naked in Bed: Superstitious (you know what? with the opening lyrics, that actually works) First Fight: Brand New (yeah, that doesn't work...) Maybe We Should Take a Break: No Idea (yeah, I have no words for this one) I Want You Back: Windows Down (see above) Will You Marry Me: 24/Seven (oh come on, Spotify, you couldn't give me Ask You Tonight?) First Child: Revolution (Spotify, you are letting me down big time) We're Getting Older: Waves (AW COME ON!) If You Die, I'll Go With You: A Hard Day's Night (Spotify, I hate you right now) End Credits: Forget You Now (eh, it's end credits, who gives a shit?)

Hope you enjoyed my list with a side of me cursing out Spotify and considering a major playlist cleanout.

[impishtubist]

okay this can go very wrong but jegulus (and i'm throwing in a trope just because) raising harry and #5✨

hoooooooooooooooo boy.

I cannot apologize enough for this.

The fifth song on my Spotify Wrapped playlist is “Teo Torriatte”, and that is no excuse for this, holy shit.

CWs: Illness, terminal illness, imminent death of a parent, imminent death of a spouse, grief, no one actually dies in this but it’s still sad. 

Regulus is already awake when Juliette starts fussing, so he gets out of bed and pads across the hall to Sirius and Remus’s room. Both men are stirring, but Regulus lifts the newborn from her bassinet and whispers, “I’ve got her.” 

Sirius only gives a half-hearted protest, while Remus merely rolls over and goes back to sleep. He’s earned it, Regulus thinks, having brought this baby into the world a week ago with only Regulus and Sirius for help. James had shouted encouragement from across the hall, while Harry Flooed to St. Mungo’s for a Healer who didn’t arrive in time. 

The baby’s hungry, so Regulus heats a bottle in the kitchen downstairs, and then carries her back up to their room. 

James has managed to work himself into a sitting position, and he holds out his arms for the baby. Regulus transfers her to his husband, and then hands him the bottle before settling on the bed. James’s arms are skeletal these days, but right now, they’re strong and steady as he cradles his goddaughter.

“She’s beautiful,” he murmurs, which is what he says every time he holds her. It’s true, though.

“Remus’s genes,” Regulus says, and James laughs. Merlin, Regulus is going to miss that laugh. 

James gazes down at their niece and goddaughter, a bit of color returning to his face as a smile touches his lips, his eyes full of adoration. For a moment, and only for a moment, Regulus can look at him and forget that he’s dying.

The spell damage that killed Lily in a matter of days has taken almost sixteen years for James. Though they’ve always known this is how it would end, his rapid deterioration has taken them all off-guard. James went from relatively healthy to bed-bound in a matter of months. Sirius and Remus moved into Potter Manor when Remus was five months along, unwilling to be very far from James during this final chapter of his life. Harry pulled out of Hogwarts, and they’ve all taken turns tutoring him. Mostly, though, they’re focused on spending time together.

All of them are circling the drain, waiting and waiting and waiting for it to end.

Regulus hates it. 

“You’ll get her her first broomstick,” James murmurs. 

“‘Course I will,” Regulus says, forcing the words past the stone in his chest. 

“And you’ll teach her how to fly, because Merlin knows her dads won’t,” James goes on. Juliette stares up at him with big grey eyes as she suckles at the bottle, eyes she got from Sirius. “And she’ll be the best Chaser on the Gryffindor team, won’t you, darling?”

“She’s obviously going to be a Seeker for Slytherin,” Regulus retorts. 

“You’ll spoil her rotten at every Christmas and Hanukkah and birthday, like Sirius did when Harry was a baby.”

“Yes. Obviously.”

“You’ll tell her about me.” The smile slips from James’s emaciated face. “When I’m gone, you’ll tell her everything about her Uncle James.”

Regulus gives a choked laugh. “I won’t shut up about you.”

“About how much I love her, and how much I wanted to see her grow up.”

“Yes, and about how she was so eager to meet you, she arrived almost a month early.” 

Juliette finishes the bottle, and James doesn’t have the strength to lift her to his shoulder. Regulus takes her and burps her, and then returns her to James’s arms so he can rock her to sleep. Once she’s fully under, Regulus takes her back across the hall and tucks her in, and then resets the baby monitor charms that will go off in both their rooms if she wakes up again. 

James and Regulus are settling back into bed when their door creaks open.

“Dads?” Harry ventures tentatively into the room. 

“Come here, love,” James says, and Harry comes over to the bed, bending to hug him gently. “Join us.” 

Harry crawls into bed and settles between them like he’s six, not sixteen. “Something wrong?”

“No. The baby wanted a bottle, and your uncles are exhausted.” Regulus runs his fingers through Harry’s hair, as unruly as his father’s. “Why don’t you stay with us tonight?”

“Okay,” Harry agrees, burrowing under the blankets. Regulus knows he’s going to wake up with an elbow in his face and a knee in his stomach, also like when Harry was six. Harry’s probably going to steal all the blankets, too. He rolls over and kisses James’s cheek, then rests his head on James’s shoulder. “Love you, Dad.” 

“Love you, too, baby.” James reaches across Harry to clasp Regulus’s hand. “Love you both so much.”

----

[echho]

1., 11., 30., 38. and 40. for the ask please.

And bonus one if you don't mind, what's up with the wheelchair ghoul art?

goodness gracious that's an Amount!! thank you ŋ you never disappoint

1. How long have you been a fan of Ghost?

oof. starting off strong. umm

actually no idea because i think i knew some of their songs and about the aesthetic and everything before but i actually became interested in the lore and started listening to their music less casually during the moac boom. so like. idk. two years? one and something? no idea. sorry :c

11. What is the most underrated song?

HA i'd say zenith solely because it was pretty unknown but now that it's available on spotify and stuff... la mantra mori? i know some people don't like it for how repetitive it is but. it's literally a mantra. and idk it reminds me of copia SO MUCH because like. you share not the blood of ours?? thus we focus on your death??? yeah. slaps

30. How long did it take you to fully understand the lore/names/history of Ghost?

again, idk how to count it but like. a couple of weeks MAX after i first became truly interested during the moac boom. i was severely hyperfocused on that shit hahshd

38. What's your favorite theory?

terzo is still alive/will be resurrected because i fucking miss that fucking sexbomb uh

40. How did you discover Ghost?

half-answered earlier but before the moac boom i knew ghost because of my ✨ music hunting sessions ✨ (where i used to open youtube and just click on random songs until i found a whole new playlist of music)

also we don't speak about the long forgotten wips, ok? ok.

(jk. the thing is,, i tried drawing it on paper but couldn't get the proportions right, so i tried digitally but it's so much harder because i'm not that proficient in digital art and just. cannot get it to look like i want it to look. so brain said nope and now it's sitting unfinished between other projects on my pc and i just cannot see myself actually sitting down and getting the work done in the near future. because you know. brain evil because brain want perfection. but i thought about drawing more crutches rain and/or fiNALLY FINISHING THE GHOUL FIC!!!!!!!)

[bobwess]

For the AMA (apologies in advance i've got fic-writing on the brain cuz of nano)

How do you deal with writer's block when it strike? Or is your go-to to drop AMA? :P What's your preferred fic writing time, if you even have one?

Do you tend to write mainly digitally? Do you keep a writer's notebook?

Have you ever had a fic idea just pop into your head so jarringly you just start immediately writing from scratch? Or are you the sort who needs everything meticulously outlined out?

Is NaNo something you've ever tried, or is it not your thing?

You a person who listens to music while writing? If so, what sorts of thing?

Do you find that you tend to write in short bursts and then leave it for a while, or do you make consistant slow and steady progress? Or does it really depend on the fic?

Have you ever reread something you've written and had zero recollection of writing it?

You might have been asked this before, but do you have a favorite thing you've written? (Doesn't have to be just kept to fics either)

And one last silly one for the road...You get stuck in one of your fics. Which one would you rather it be, and what would happen?

How do you deal with writer's block when it strike? Or is your go-to to drop AMA? :P What's your preferred fic writing time, if you even have one?

I usually write lateish. On a normal day I'm going to bed around 8am, I'm usually starting writing at like 2/3.

Do you tend to write mainly digitally? Do you keep a writer's notebook?

I write exclusively digitally. I type very fast, pretty much the same speed I think so I can keep up unlike if I'm writing physically. I can also change things on the fly without struggle.

I keep a physical notebook with me most of the time but its specifically for prop building, makeup designs, and work related planning.

Have you ever had a fic idea just pop into your head so jarringly you just start immediately writing from scratch? Or are you the sort who needs everything meticulously outlined out?

Absolutely have gone in from scratch.

It's weird though. 50% of the time it's seat-of-my-pants moment-by-moment with maybe a couple notes for the future (Only Human, A Sudden Affinity) and sometimes I have a fic meticulously planned out (Wait for the Ricochet, My Endverse fic).

Almost all of my one-shots are ideas that popped into my head and refused to not be written.

The Endverse fic actually, while fully planned now, at first was just one chapter I really wanted/needed to write and I sat down and wrote it out. Then built the fic around it. It became chapter 3. It's the weirdest one I've ever written because I have every chapter made individually in documents, and each one is outlined. So I'm just popcorning and doing a scene here and a scene there.

Is NaNo something you've ever tried, or is it not your thing?

I should do. I have two novels I am working on slow as shit and it'd be a good job to have a kick in the pants to get them done. A couple times before I've thought about it. November is just always busy as hell and I can't self-enforce a substitute month.

You a person who listens to music while writing? If so, what sorts of thing?

I listen to music 90% of the time. Honestly it depends. I have two playlists. One is much more aggressive, rock/metal/etc. Otherwise I'll go for concerts or other instrumental music. If there was a spotify wrapped type listing for my computer, Ray Chen performing Sibelius' Violin Concerto would be towards the top of the list.

The other 10% of the time I'll just listen to like sounds. Rain or rivers or something like that.

Do you find that you tend to write in short bursts and then leave it for a while, or do you make consistent slow and steady progress? Or does it really depend on the fic?

Absolutely depends. But probably bursts more often. A specific fic will just grab me. Unfortunately for everyone waiting on my chapters my bursts of inspiration recently have been my thus unpublished Endverse fic. Which means a lot of writing has been done that isn't ready to see the light of day.

Have you ever reread something you've written and had zero recollection of writing it?

No. I am very aware of what I've written, and I re-read a lot. I do sometimes REGRET things I've written, though it's rare. I only have a few pieces of mine I don't like.

On the contrary, my VIDEOS? Holy shit, I don't have a clue what's in them. They leave my brain the second I am done editing them, and I never ever re-watch them. "I love your Destiel series." "Thanks, I do not remember it."

You might have been asked this before, but do you have a favorite thing you've written? (Doesn't have to be just kept to fics either)

Until very recently it's been "Only Human" because it's been such a labor of love, and I have a few idea notes for running it all the way into "season" 13. But honestly "Wait for the Ricochet" has overtaken it. I don't know, I just think it's neat.

And one last silly one for the road...You get stuck in one of your fics. Which one would you rather it be, and what would happen?

Oh man. See the FUN answer is My Endverse fic, because honestly it has a lot of meat on it and I would love to fit into Chitaqua. I'm really enjoying what I've written so far. (Like I said, stuck in the brain, can't stop talking about it.)

But the real answer is Hell Above, because I can be a passenger on the airplane and theoretically not-die which is not a given in my other fics.

[lighthouse-enjoyers-anonymous]

The CSH pipeline (aka my downfall)(aka my favorite band ever)

Last year around June, I listened to Car Seat Headrest for the first time, I think starting with Sober to Death. I had seen mention of the band before in memes about it being "incel" "male manipulator" music, but it was associated with a lot of bands I already had an interest in. My first instinct when seeing that something is being shit on is to go and consume the media so I can judge for myself whether it's actually that bad or if the fanbase is just being characterized by a couple shitty fans and if it's being meme-ified like Weezer. This has lead me down some questionable paths but I ultimately like this way of consuming media because I do end up finding new stuff I enjoy without being restricted to what's popular. I started listening to Mitski because I saw a tumblr post about how people don't like her work. Idk. Anyways I loved Sober to Death and started listening to their other top songs to get a feel for it. I think I mainly just listened to Twin Fantasy and Teens of Denial at first, then ToS and MBIKMB after a while. I wasn't hardcore into it and I knew barely anything about the band except I had picked up somewhere that Will was a furry (I have zero idea when I learned this but at the time I thought it was the most hilarious thing I've ever heard). I was just focused on my other interests much more (you know how it is). Fun fact, my ex included "It's Only Sex" on our relationship playlist when we dated in March, which

1- is an absolutely insane red flag 2- proves I knew about the band earlier than I remember Flash forward to February. I must have seen CSH mentioned a lot more on tiktok or pinterest or something, because I suddenly had a lot of interest in it. Sometimes I get waves of "oh god i'm a fake fan for not knowing everything about this subject" and that spurs some manic search to CONSUME ALL. I started listening to every album available on spotify, learned about Will's pre-CSH projects, and was instantly hooked.

This guy had written songs that spoke to me in a way only several other artists had in the past. On top of that, he had lived less than an hour away from me for the majority of my life (until he relocated to Seattle in 2014), AND most of his music was written at the age I am now. There was something so personal to me about it. Obviously, it was a popular-ish band so it wasn't really underground or anything, but it wasn't known by everyone so I still had the opportunity to introduce it to my friends for the first time. That being said, I still got teased a bit for listening to "sad gay furry music" :/ Touché.

Anyways, I then learned about 1 Trait Danger. Oh boy. I had heard the "Timmis" sound going around on tiktok without realizing it. God Andrew Katz is amazing too. It was silly, it was stupid, it had a new plotline to follow for each album, there was a discord server, there were costumes, there was Will Toledo, there was SO MUCH TO LEARN. So naturally I joined the Patreon so now I get some sick behind the scenes video game development content.

Deeper into the rabbithole comes Cate Wurtz's comics, which are mentioned in several CSH songs, and generally help to contextualize Will's work. Holy Shit I love Crow Cillers. I only started reading it yesterday. I have yet to fully understand what's going on because there is such a mash up of themes. It's entirely possible I made a mistake and managed to skip some crucial lore, but I'll figure it out eventually. Ynce Iche is badass. Other things that this hyperfixation has caused me to get into:

Radiohead and Weezer. more stereotypical incel music but I D K

Costume design? I'm in the process of building a trait mask, and I will make another post about this because I need help!!

animation, possibly. I'm hoping to animate parts, if not all, of 1 Trait Bangers. I have no prior experience with animating so this will be.... fun...

video production. I am ALSO in the process of creating a series of tiktok style videos to all of twin fantasy. if each one is about a minute, I should have... 71 videos. 1 down, 70 to go! This is cool because I got to visit the spot in Harper's Ferry mentioned in BL-I-D.

CSH livestreams. I looove the acoustic sound. Do miss the other band members though. Lots of his covers have lead me to find new music as well.

Will Toledo's tumblr. I scrolled all the way to the bottom of it and i'm attempting to compile a playlist of every song he mentions on there.

Will Toledo's spotify monthly playlists. That funky guy is listening to soooo much welsh folk. This raises questions about what the possible new album will sound like, but I'm down for anything!

Andrew Katz's instagram reels. I love these funky little videos it's like a vine revival with all of our favorite band members.

Will Toledo's high school bands/comics. The Mr. Yay Okay facebook page is so blessed I love seeing shitty home video recordings of them playing with a Ouija board.

New friends! Shout out to the cool people on the 1td discord server. game nights are always hilarious

Pop culture references. I have been convinced to buy several books simply bc they were mentioned in a song or his tumblr. also I started NGE and I will eventually get to Twin Peaks.

That's all for now! I should be able to update as I find more stuff to deep dive into, and as my creative projects unfold. It's going to be a busy couple of months in my house though, as I prepare for college. If I end up switching hyperfixations before I complete anything, I must apologize. But I don't owe "you" anything. I say to my singular follower, cheezbot. Hi cheezbot.