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#i'm feeling weirdly emotional right now
seeinganewlight · 1 year
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i just...i just fucking love creatives of any kind talking about their process. i love listening to directors talk about their vision for a piece, how the idea started and how they brought it to life. i love listening to songwriters talk about how they write their songs, the way that the lyrics find them and the way they craft these lyrics that resonate with so many. i love listening to painters and sketch artists walk us through their use of shadows and color and blending. i love listening to choreographers talk about how music inspires them and how they tell stories through dance. i love listening to actors talk about how they embody roles in their bodies and their voices and how they prepare to bring a story to life. i just fucking love listening to creative people talk about their passions
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continuousmeowing · 2 years
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goodnight losers (affectionate)
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magentagalaxies · 2 years
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i'm a woman but only in the way where sometimes a male musician from the late 90s/early 00s decides to write from a woman's perspective but that's not immediately clear until they say "i'm a woman" in the lyrics and you immediately google whether the musician is trans and the answer is no but you've already decided to relate to the song in a trans way anyway
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lunarharp · 2 years
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various witch stuff of the day or whatever the heck
#witch hat tag#orufrey#uhh yeah just getting some stuff out of the way haha i like the first one tho. i drew something that scares me#iguin must have been involved in qifrey's thing somehow. The Lidless eye..the sight of the world..i mean i think [redacted]#and he'll be [redacted] and [redacted] will be forced to... [redacted]???!?!!?#I want to keep my theories to myself.......or do i. not being a fandom person (other than dropping my art and leaving) means i just..#combust inside by myself with ideas and FEARS FOR THAT MAN.....CAN SOMEONE HELP HIM IM SO WORRIED IM SO...#CAN YOU LET SOMEONE HELP YOU#apparently tetia's expression in the last one is hard to understand =.= she's emotional bc she cant believe they remembered#the twin hat idea. and that she's so happy. i was thinking about how she was probably qif's first pupil so there must have been a time#where it was just her qif and oru... i DO think she is hinted strongly to be trans but even if not her mystery background is probably so sad#why would qifrey even become a teacher? his goal was the brimhats. but he keeps being distracted by kids with problem pasts so#he must have only been drawn to help tetia out of a deep sympathy. it seems at that point he and oru had drifted apart#did oru decide to be his watchful eye hearing about that or did qifrey ask him? he thought that qif had given up on brimhat stuff so..#*mumble mumble* lately i also keep remembering oru saying something UNREAL in kitchen like 'we're finally living under the same roof' ????#you can't just say that. what on earth. i..... whatever. i haven't even processed like 20% of my potential emotions about them#i feel so weirdly emotional today. i stopped thinking about witch hat for zuka even tho im SO hyperfixated it is genuinely PAINFUL to stop#i stopped just long enough to watch gatsby raku.... my haachan#i'm so grateful right now that i dont have any big issues in my life rn so i can get worried about manga men and sad about actors retiring#today at least i am extremely grateful. living and being alive is so so so so weird. i hope we all make it
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joyridingmp3 · 2 years
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find me at the bar drunk rambling to strangers about how much I love my sister and how amazing she is and how much I miss her
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thethingything · 2 months
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I'm not even sure what's going on with our sleep schedule at this point but I think I've just accepted that it's fucked and there's gonna be a bunch of stuff over the next few weeks that's gonna keep fucking it up which is gonna be a nightmare but I can't exactly do much about it.
RIP to our emotional regulation and basically anything else that requires you to have slept at the right time for your body, not that were doing great with any of that stuff anyway
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darkwebclaires · 1 year
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My older brother is living with me for a few months before he gets married. I woke up last friday morning to him playing electric guitar, something that hasn't happened since I was in high school and we both still lived at home. It was one of the same songs I heard him play nearly every day from 7th grade until he left for college when i had just turned 17. I'm nearly 22 now, and before I opened my eyes last friday morning, for a moment it was 2017 and nothing bad had happened to me yet, nothing had changed. time moves on and you can never go back but sometimes before you open your eyes, it feels like nothing ever changed
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cutebat · 2 months
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You know what, fuck it. I'm going to write my own neglectful yandere batfamily cause everyone else is doing it, but I'm going to do it in a different way.
Yandere Batfam x Neglected, but Defiant Reader
Prologue (Diary Entry)
Warning(s): Mentions of yandere themes, neglect, emotional abuse, mentions of physical abuse, forcing to drop out, attempted guilt tripping, reader is just venting out her feelings
(I made this in the reader's POV to make the whole 'diary entry' thing more sense.)
~~~~~
July 22, 2024
It's funny when someone tells their story.
Only to be told back that it's unrealistic.
Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real...
Oh, God, that sounded dark.
~~~~~
For everyone who doesn't know,
Bruce is a billionaire who's also a shitty dad
Dick is a dick, like actually
Jason uses his trauma to let all his frustrations on me
Tim is a delusional bitch
Cass was okay until she knocked me to the ground
Damian is just a thing who you want to burn to ashes
Alfred... I guess is just Alfred
~~~~~
I was basically raised as what people would call a 'black sheep'. Kind of like... actually, I don't need to explain all that.
Basically, I was adopted by the infamous Bruce Wayne when I was ten for whatever reason. After the first day of living with him and the family and giving me the new role of Batgirl, everyone just pretended as if I didn't exist.
I tried to interact with every one of them and all I got were "sorry, can't talk right now" and "can you shut up".
Like, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO THEM?!
Is it because I'm prettier than all of them and had barely any trauma in my past? Seriously, why are people so jealous about these kinds of things?
Bruce really signed all that paperwork for nothing.
Of course, my little ten year old brain would think that if I tried to impress all of them with what I could do, maybe I could gain their attention.
So by the time I was twelve with my ten year old mindset goal in my head, I did nine different after school activities, won over fifteen awards for my achievements, and went out to patrol at least six nights a week.
And none of that worked! Those fuckers wouldn't even spare me a glance!
~~~~~
After a while, you don't see a point in trying your best.
I dropped out of most of the clubs I regret joining, I just laid back in my classes, and most of all...
I quit being Batgirl.
I didn't want to, but like I said, where's the point in that?
So with that, I just gave up on everything and just... stopped trying.
~~~~~
But then one year all of that almost changed?
For the first time ever, I found myself suddenly really pretty, and after a month I entered eighth grade, I was suddenly asked out by one guy, then two, and all the way up to ten!
It was like really cool!
The popular girls became my best friends, more guys would ask me out, and the teachers started pointing out that I was their favorite student, even the ones who weren't my teachers.
It felt like I was on top of everything. That I was special. The world is revolving around me.
Finally, I was in a place to build a great reputation.
And then life was like FUCK THAT!
~~~~~
After the first semester of eighth grade, Bruce was weirdly in my room and he said wanted to have a 'talk' with me.
So, during this talk, he was basically talking about the last three years of me being neglected by him and his family. To be honest, I forgot everything he told me, but honestly, I don't really care.
He also told the others about all this and now they suddenly feel bad which I don't give a shit about. But, I knew he was doing all this to guilt trip me, which was honestly so stupid.
Now, after he dropped that bomb, he told me that I had to drop out of school to do some "bonding time" with the others along with him and the people who actually cared about me didn't really matter at all!
I JUST GOT SETTLED IN!
All I said was "FUCK YOU" and just stormed out of my room with the only thing that I took was my diary that I had for quite a while that I never used before.
~~~~~
So, yeah. I'm currently in the attic, venting my feelings all out on this stupid glitter diary with a random pen that I found on the ground.
But whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Nothing matters...
My life is just a game.
A sick, hopeless game.
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ghysry · 1 month
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You're asking for requests and what about a reader (who wasn't adopted by Reginald ofc) with the powers of clairvoyance who sees what's gonna happen in season 4 all of it the Lila x five arc and everything and is just like no 😃 and stops it and fixes it (somehow five is the same age physically and mentally as them) so it's a reader x five fic it can be an established relationship to make it more angsty or not up to you!!
angst....I can't!!! I can't do it! I'm sorry guys but this story will not be angsty😭
Tags:
Fluff, comfort, unestablished relationship, five Hargreeves, reader, tua x reader, five x reader, Five is a little bitch
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"Emotion."
What are you doing?
You'd be shocked with how much you can do because you have the power of clairvoyance. You, yes you, had single handedly warned the others of the imminent danger their sibling, Viktor, would impose. You saw it when you closed your eyes, the world ending, a paradox. Had Five not gone here, had you not followed him, had he not created this, had he not created that.. That's not to say clairvoyance doesn't have its downsides, though. The memories keep on repeating, when Five jumps forward in time, when Five goes back in time, when Five...when Five..
Oh, don't you know?
It was driving you fucking insane. Every time you blinked that picture of Lila and Five kissing surrounded by strawberries in this safe haven of intricate wood painted white to look cutesy, her throwing strawberries at him, he, smiling. He smiled for god's sake - not in the sadistic homicidal way that you were so used to, but he smiled because he fell in love, in love with a woman he spent maybe seven years with, while he could barely muster a hello towards your way when you spent roughly forty years together in a shitty apocalypse?
Don't you know you'll be my ruin?
But, what could you do? They were already speaking, Lila was already a part of the family, you, not so much. You almost felt bad for Diego, no, you did feel bad for Diego, in all of the scenarios your power could have put you in, it decided to put you in this one. Choosing between telling your feelings (of which you can barely do) to a man who you're not even sure likes you back to fix this mess, or biting your tongue and letting it happen.
You got me crying,
For now though, while you're stuck in this shitty hotel you know will cause the reset of the universe, you have no choice but to keep your mouth shut until the right time approaches for you to strike. See, clairvoyance is a balance, it should always be a balance. It's why your mother always told you never to tell people what you can really do, because if you had, most if not everyone would have been surrounding you now asking you what happens next. It was the peace that kept you quiet about your power, even if it meant lying about it.
Crying again..
Thankfully though, now was the right time. Ben, the sparrow, had been alone for quite a while, sitting by himself while everyone else went about their way, Lila and Diego a reflection of Luther and Sloane, who had their wedding just a day ago, it was sweet to see honestly, even sweeter to see drunk Five messing around in the hallways physically, and not just through a mirror in your mind. Carefully, you found yourself sat next to the lonely sparrow, looking at him as he uncomfortably shifted in his seat.
When will you let..
"Ben." You started, your throat weirdly dry ever since you've been seeing into this specific future. Your heart beats rather faster than it usually should, but it always has when you have to mess with the timeline. The results would show in your mind's eye once the dirty work was done. "Yea that's me..Ben." His voice snaps you out of your daze once you realize you've been quiet for longer than a minute now. "Don't trust him." You push, your eyes squinting as if to magnify your point. "Trust who?" "Reginald." Ben gulps, audibly. You could practically hear his blood rush throughout his body once he realizes you know. "How did you..?" He leans in, voice dropping to a whisper. "Don't trust him." Is all you answer, before walking away.
You spend an extended time in your room with a headache you knew was coming. It was always like this after you alter time in your own way, like telling Ben not to trust Reginald, some change, some don't. Unfortunately for you, what doesn't change is Lila and Five kissing it out in that damn strawberry garden. You can't even bring yourself to eat strawberries anymore, it's honestly traumatizing. Thankfully though, because of you telling Ben all this, the outcome has changed once more. From Luther and Klaus dying, only Klaus dies. From Five thinking Allison made a deal to kill Luther, Five now only thinks Allison made a deal..of some sort.
Five..
Okay, this is dumb. Well, you walking to Five and grabbing him by the wrist, huffing out a "we have to talk" is certainly dumb on a whole lot of degrees, even worse when you both find yourselves in a quiet room, you seated on the bed, him pacing around in the room. "Is this about something important? Because the world is ending right outside," You can't help it anymore. "I don't want you around Lila." You blurt out like word vomit, it was vile enough that you actually covered your mouth for a second, and his little chuckle made it even worse. He thinks it's a joke.
"what? Are you jealous? Think she might steal me away-" He almost fully stops dead in his tracks when he realizes you're actually serious about him and Lila, and his eyes soften, finally realizing what you were meaning to say. He clears his throat, causing your soul to jump from your body and bring your attention back, the tips of his ears are awfully red, and he has this look on his face that he's criminally scared to fuck this up. "Well, if that's what you want then I'll always be by your side."
You pause.
"That was a really bad flirt."
"Well excuse me for trying!"
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yourstrqly · 6 months
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✰ HELPING HANDS, LANDOSCAR
[ preview ] in which fem!reader is helping out oscar's puppy love on his teammate lando without realising the consequences
[ tw ] mostly landoscar, swear words, smut (+18) - threesome, dom!osc, switch!lando, pussy eating, missionary position, daddy +sir kink, praise kink, raw sex (use condoms, stay safe 'n clean), aftercare
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. previous | minors do not read | masterlist .
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you indeed landed in their cushy bed, just the imagination didn't match reality; in the men's eyes all of you wore too many layers of clothes (you did look hot in the retro styled mclaren shirt of lando and a pair of panties tho), slightly ruining their last resort of getting this off the table or rather in the sheets.
so unlike you, you didn't began to feel fuzzy, you just relaxed in the covers, watching in utter childlike fascination how katara from the last airbender challenged a clan master to duel right in front of a sea of strangers. "d'you reckon she'll win, little one?", lando wanted to break the case, trying to hold his cool, while quite literally hiding (and grinding) his bulge behind his partner's back as he had starred a bit too long on your plump round ass. in a world full of men and woman, he was just a man lusting after osc and you.
he couldn't help himself from growing hard — your ass poked underneath the white shirt, showing off your thick tights, he'd love to feel around his head, and those smoothly looking legs would make a suitable cage for oscar's waist, while he hovered over you, fucking you to an orgasm.
imagine, imagine.
the brit didn't know how oscar wasn't as horny as he was whilst having the front view of your body.
you groaned. "nah, yeah, I don't know but nonetheless it's a girl boss move and 'm here for it. now please shut up, lan", you begged, flitting your eyes towards his face shortly to catch him already openly glazing at you.
above all laws of relationship, lando broke the wall as his lips moved faster than his brain, declaring that she should make him shut up, tone low and suggestive, causing the room and time to freeze it seemed. "treasure", his lover gasped, eyebrows knitted as he cracked his knuckles nervously, quite shooked about the outburst.
laughing weirdly, you search for oscar's reaction, an angry gaze or unimpressed rolling of his eyes but you saw an empty face, no emotion for you read and understand. "what did you say?", the question sounded aggressive coming from you. "have you got no shame, norris?" fastly standing up your feet, you peer at osc for the second time. "I— I'll leave you alone, sorry, i—"
"there's nothing to be sorry about, sweets", the younger man instantly replied and then turned his head sideways to his partner with a grim look. "you on the other hand should be apologise to her. now, off you go." he made a hush hush gesture towards his somehow yet secret crush, observing the interaction; as lan crawled forward in your direction, you meekly held onto the small table, which presented books none of them read by the dusty looks of it and a bulky candle holder. you didn't dare to take a breath, even when lando kneeled under your nose, his fingers closing around your naked legs, and just looked up, desperate for your attention, to serve you in a way?
"is it okay for him to carry on, sweets?", oscar asked, having moved down the bed to manspread his gorgeous tights whilst you were lost in this, whatever happened. "take a breather, yeah? that's a good girl."
lando, still down for you, bat his long eyelashes at you. "please, little one, i'd do anything for you." "course you do, you're a greedy man, treasure. give him the permission to eat your kitten, hm?"
your mind must play you tricks.
"I don't understand", you finally reached your words. "you're together, i— we're friends." a nervous cough stuck in your throat. "i'm not sure this is the correct direction . ."
"ah ah ah sweets, no need to lie to yourself — this, this hasn't been a friendship for us for a while now, no?", he looked at lando's curly hair crown that shimmered under the bad lightning, getting a tiny whimmer out of the lover. "we want to add you, the feelings are there. just let us show you first and later in the morning we can do all the talking. my man is hungry for you, cant you see?"
you observe lando; his lips were already plump but now they were raw bitten and swollen, as was his length that drew though the thin material of his shorts and bend more to the left. the grip you had on the dresser grew stronger as you nod shyly, wetness polling inside your panties which lando pulled to the side, letting his tongue flicker up your slit to your clit, sucking on it harshly. moaning, a hand of yours sank in his hair, wanting him to lick you faster — you gasped, head lulling to your left shoulder and your back arched when he slowly inserted a finger, then another and third, fingering you. lando's hot tongue worked you up, circling around your throbbing clit. then a much larger hand joins yours, interlocking in the man's hair and there was the chin growth of lan, scratching your inner tights and making them shake, all while oscar smacked his lips onto yours, dragging his free hand behind your head to hold you in place, groaning as he felt a tear escaped the corner of your eye, gliding down his thumb.
"you're doing so well, sweets", he mumbled between kisses. "cum for us."
time almost seems to come to an halt as both men feel your body goes stiff, clenching around lan's fingers, pools of fire seeping low in your abdomen, steering you right off the edge whilst continuing to pump his fingers rapidly in and out of you, till you hooked your arms 'round the aussies strong neck to support you upwards.
when you opened your eyelids, gaze hazy and lustfilled, lando grinned devilish, wetness dripping down his chin and wrist, and he didn't move, no, he rather pressed his face back home, nose spitting the folds, too addicted to your scent and taste — if it wasn't for the small jumps, a reminder of how tense you were, oscar would've locked his lover's greedy mouth on you for forever. but this wasn't it; he wanted more. adoration and excitement graced on his heated cheeks, "hop on the bed, sweets, i think you're ready f'me", he declared, voice sunken an octave deeper, letting you know that he had enjoyed the display very much. "can't have lan have all the fun tonight."
he shoves you gently on the bed, spreading your naked glory; tears had stained your cheeks, both pairs of lips coated in wetness and fluttering in anticipation of what he had in store — oscar threw a look above his shoulder at lando, who had taken your place, big hand engulfing his hard swollen dick.
granted, osc's heavier toned body lifted itself above yours, leaking tip rubbing over your cunt until he just sank in your soft, warm walls and he swore that he found another paradise; his muscles flex repeatedly as he fucked inside, thoughts swarming but not making any sense anymore because this was it — euphoria ran though his body like a wildfire and he couldn't stop sinking his dick all the way into your helpless, squeezing cunt.
in the middle of grovelling moans and desperate cries, it was lando who spoke up, falling next to you on the bed to pinch and twist your nipples. "how does it feel, daddy?"
"so good, so tight, sir", he brummed, interlacing his fingers with those on your tits to guide them south your body were a slight bulge was showcased. "she takes me like a good girl should, isn't that true, sweets?" too which you hummed in agreement. both pairs of eyes stare at you, waiting for the approaching orgasm to crush you and leave you in bliss only sex could gift. "yes, she does, looks beautiful taking you." and with that lan pressed his hand down where his lover's cock locked up inside, coaxing another mess out of you, your voice singing high and the vision got blurry. "s' good daddy", you screamed, pussy still tightening around his length, making it impossible to move. he cursed as you milked him so hard he came inside. you pant and heaved; his thrusts got lazy and eventually stopped, pulling out off you to lay besides you as he watched the brit tugging his fist up his cock, taking in his position to ram himself in your abused cunt to dump his cum.
"little one, you're a star", he harshly gritted though bitten teeth before his bodyweight relaxed on yours, leaning in to steal a kiss from your lips. "now, cuddle me, osc will clean you up", lando smiled as he pulled out, watching the mixed white cum tickled out of you.
POLY/MULTI DRIVERS — SINGULAR DRIVERS
wanna be tagged in the next part/spin-off/blurbs of helping hand? comment below :)
🗝 . . . tag list (open) — @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @vellicora @jupiter-je-taime @denisebeee @jaehyunluvcult @chezmardybum@koalalafications @thebook-bitch @ln4norizz @entr4p3 @67-angelofthelordme-67
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meo-eiru · 9 hours
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begging u to introduce some of those fine gentlemen fr
especially if they’re doms bc. im a whore
Ok so for the ones who have lore
This one is Ro. He's basically this all powerful dragon who travels from kingdom to kingdom and spends a few weeks at a castle there to his liking. He's technically not allowed to do that but the nobles can't say anything to him since he could just wipe their country off the map if he feels like it. He finds the mc on the street as a homeless orphan and thinks she has potential as a mage so he decides to spend a few more years in that country and raise her to his liking.
On a matter of scariness I'd say he's actually more scary than Micah. Not only is he more powerful, he's also easier to anger, and you don't know what he might do when he's angry. Also unlike Micah who was aware of his affection for you right from the get go, Ro thinks of you more as a rare gem he owns and by the time he realizes his true feelings it's too late.
This is one of the stories I'd like to turn into a full webcomic one day.
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Next we have these 3, well there's a 4th one but I couldn't find a drawing of him. Basically a reverse harem story about 4 ancient mages and a girl who seems to weirdly attract them. I'd say the blue haired one is definitely the poster boy but the drawing is quite old and I actually changed his design a bit, I think it was too busy.
I'm gonna be honest, this is a fanservice story. You know how there are always shows with female characters wearing impossibly revealing stuff to literal fights? I thought, hey how about I do the same but with men.
We have 4 mages, the mage of light, the mage of dark, the mage of mind and the mage of emotions.
Again a story I want to turn into a webcomic one day
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This guy is the literal personification of Love. He was made out of love, he lives through love and IS Love.
He is the beautiful type of love, he is the innocent type of love, he is the dark type of love. The love that will suffocate you, the love that will make you wish you never experienced it, the love that'll bring you to tears from it's kindness.
He knows you yearn for love, a love you can be sure could never die off, a love that will follow you even if you no longer want it.
Even if you can't love him anymore he will continue suffocating you until you become completely his.
This is a story I want to turn into a visual novel in the future.
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The other characters have lore too but I don't want this post to get too long, I think it should be enough to talk about these for now
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luxthestrange · 5 months
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WHB Incorrect quotes#37 Girl Dad
I need Solomon to suffer a little bit...after having the PLEASURE of being kidnapped by Leviathan and his goonies...GET YOUR FUCKIN DOG B-YES IT BITES-...So Solomon is getting what he wants a daughter...spending time with Teenage F! Mc...
Somewhere On Earth hiding from others, Solomon and God are mingling with humans in a bar...
Solomon*Eating with a spaced-out look* -You know what Teenage Girls don't care about?...
God*Looking at him weirdly*
Solomon: Is your feelings...*Sees God's confused expression and cackles and looks at this new drinking buddies*HAHAA-OH MAN I'm sure your daughter has said something to your face and-
Solomon: "I would punch a grown man in the mouth for saying that shit to me" Can I tell the shit she said to me-
Solomon starts to explain how he took you to the beach for bonding time
Solomon: WE WERE AT THE BEACH-and'm at the beach wearing beach attire you know shorts, no shirt...She is reading a book by the way they deliver their insults WITH ZERO EMOTIONS...right to your face super matter-of-fact...
At the said beach with you reading a book with Solomon's snacks nestled around you, and passing by Solomon
Teenage!Mc*Looks at him briefly*...Nice Titties
Solomon*Freezes and looks as you sit down under the shade*...THESE are pecs...
Teenage!Mc*Not looking back at him*Maybe they USED to be...but those are titties now
-Back to Meeting-
Solomon*Deppressed his face on the table*-RIGHT TO MY FUCKING FACE-
God*Is fascinated by the idea of...snarky children*...
Bar Buddies*Who have daughters pat Solomon's back*...
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I swear...I can see Solomon putting something weird in my/mc food just for him to experience how...I/mc was...as a teenager to be living his dream of experiencing that...he bit off more then he can chew
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answer2jeff · 9 months
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this you knew.
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warnings : (workplace) established but private relationship. fluff. that's about it actually.
also, this mostly just weirdly poetic and emotional writing. not a lot of plot or substance. sorry!
a/n: carmen refers to reader as "pico," short for "piccola" (small), and reader refers to carmen as raga, short for "ragazzone," (big boy) sorry if these nicknames are cringe they're cute to me !!!!
Fuck, it was cold.
Why did winter have to stretch out for such an excruciating amount of time? It had been snowing since late November—which, at this rate, might continue until March, give or take.
The holidays had just passed, stores were back open, The Bear was back under maintenance, leisure was nonexistent. There was no need for slush on the sidewalks and frost on your car window. You'd already spent the holidays with your extended family, even after swearing up and down you had no intention on coming home this year. Anything remotely related to that mistake needed to be disposed of.
Tonight was calm. Almost too calm. Richie and Marcus were still laying out the general foundation of the dining hall, and Carmen finally beat his record timing for passing through each station of the kitchen marked by green tape. You were pretty much free to go home. Especially since Sydney was the first to leave and encouraged you to do the same.
But just as you walked out of the empty kitchen space through the back door, something urged you to walk back in.
Just act like you forgot something.
Quickly swinging the door open and turning the corner into Natalie's office, where you knew Carmen would be, you stopped. Just barely near the frame.
Altered by your presence, Carmen snapped out of the trance that was staring at the empty space of the wall in front of him. He spun around in the 5-wheeled chair to face you.
"Raga?" you called out, not wanting to intrude as you stepped into the box of the office. Despite the door being wide open like it always was.
Raga. Sure, he wasn't a huge fan of petnames—but it made him feel like he was yours.
And he was. And you were his. Possibly for months now. And you even started to feel it. The word "boyfriend," though it wasn't used religiously, didn't feel bitter in your mouth. The way your name rolled off of Carmen's tongue was addictive to him. He preferred it over a simple 'she' when he spoke of you. You were chaos, but grace all in one.
You told your closest friends about a week after he spoke the words
"I don't really know what I'm doing, but that's—that's okay. It's more than okay. I want this."
But you hadn't told your family, and not even your true, chosen one. Which was here, in this restaurant, and everyone who played a part in it. But perhaps they already knew. Neither you or Carmen were particularly good at keeping secretes.
Just because your mouth stopped, didn't mean your body language or your face did.
Smiles and glances, whispers in corners of the restaurant incoherent to anyone else, his kisses against your temples that weren't as discreet as he hoped, it made it obvious.
But it felt right. This was okay. More than okay.
"Pico?" he repeated, mirroring that same skeptical voice you used just seconds earlier.
Eyebrows knitted with concern, your teeth gnawing at the inside of your cheek, you stood with your weight on your hip and your arms crossed against your chest. Carmen realized you stood like this all the time. But right now, he almost felt like he was in some kind of trouble; the way you eyed him above his level. Like you'd been looking for him and he failed to come to your assistance.
His urge to cave and melt into you was overwhelming. Big, blue eyes peered up at you as he leaned forward, prepared to listen. You only smiled while shrugging your shoulders and leaning against the doorframe.
"Think everybody went home. I didn't really see y'leave. Just—" you swallowed, "—wondered if you'd left or not."
That seemed to finally be enough to soothe him. You just wanted to know if he was here; if he was okay and ready to go home like he should've been.
"Uh—yeah, yeah, I'm still here."
"Yeah, I see that now."
The room stilled. Silence bounced off the drywall. But it was comfortable. It wasn't forced or unwanted. Just simple. And simplicity was scarce at the moment.
"C'mere," Carmen mumbled as he motioned his hand to signal you to come in, his voice barely audible, "just for a 'sec."
Caving in, his cadence and the look in his eyes being enough to convince you, you stepped in. He blinked slowly so as to not miss a single bit of you. For once, you could appreciate the slow of time in this room.
"I'm feeling really good about this," you smiled down at him, "this whole thing, I mean. Mikey woulda' been so proud 'f you, Carmen."
The lump in his throat was harshly swallowed back down as he nodded his head, not quite smiling, but not frowning either. You knew that face all too well. It was the face of guilt. He always wondered if he'd been doing the right thing. Lately it'd been easier to convince himself that the renovation was right, and that he was completely and fully capable of making these "adult decisions," as you called them.
"Thank you."
It was mostly thanks to you, though.
A delicate hand reached for a curl that fell just past his eyebrow. You wrapped the blonde strands around your finger, glancing from his eyes and back to his hair, just to see if he'd been watching you as closely as you hoped. Almost as if it had been second nature, he tilted his head up for easier access as you pulled away from his hair and reached to cup his clean-shaven cheek.
"I mean it, bear," your thumb gently caressed his skin as you spoke. He looked up at you as if he'd just found God in your eyes.
"I know," he tried to protest, giving you a weak smile and threatening to pull his head away.
But he waited.
There'd never been anyone in the universe, on the planet, in the country, in the culinary industry, in this city, or in this restaurant who saw through you the way Carmen Berzatto did. He'd been your head chef even before what was then, The Beef. You followed him back to his home city even months after the two of you made a pact to quit your last job as his sous, and his as your head chef. There was nothing you wanted more than to see him chase his stardom.
You loved him. This you knew.
"You're better at what you do than you'll ever give yourself credit for."
This he knew. At least now he did.
You took him in again with one look. His little moles here and there, his blue eyes, the rose of his cheeks. And at a moments notice, you leaned down to kiss him like it was the last thing you'd ever do. Carmen rose without even letting your lips separate. His hand planted itself at your waist as the other held the back of your head and gently buried itself into your hair. He tasted like cigarettes and mint with a hint of that bitter and filmy residue left on pill capsules.
He loved you. This you knew.
"Maybe you should give yourself some credit, too."
This you knew.
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radiant-reid · 1 year
Note
just saw the post abt having to explain to spencer the talking stage then an actual relationship and how he overhears her telling someone she doesnt hv a bf maybe a blurb/fic on that idea?
Spencer steals glances at you every morning while you make your coffee and chat with Emily. It's so apparent to everyone what he's doing that JJ and Morgan have taken to stealing things off his desk, seeing how much they can take before he notices.
One day, when you're walking back to your desk you make a comment that has his interest piqued even more. "No, I don't have a boyfriend at the moment. I'm enjoying being single."
Spencer's heart sinks at your words, his mind instantly conjuring images of your dates. Dates that should mean he's your boyfriend, right? So why are you telling everyone you're single?
His head is spinning with confusion, and it's turning to anger pretty quickly. Are you ashamed to be with him? Surely if you're enjoying being single, that means you're dating other people or that you're not even interested in him.
He can't believe it, his emotions swinging from anger to sadness. It's unbelievable and you're breaking his heart.
Before you're even sitting down, Spencer's getting up and rushing to the bathroom to calm his racing heart rate before he has to be sick.
Your conversation doesn't even remain in your mind while you continue your day. What feels odd is Spencer freezing you out. Usually, on boring paperwork days, Spencer will tell you fun facts or dumb science jokes just to break up the repetitive work and horrific nature of your files.
He doesn't. Not a single comment comes your way, not even when you ask very open-ended science questions, basically inviting him to ramble about his favorite topics. None of it entices him.
His sarcastic remarks come just after lunchtime with a snappy attitude that irritates you. You're worried about him, firstly. Something must be wrong in his personal life to have him like this, but you can't help feeling a little angry that it's all being directed at you.
You were just starting to really like him and now he's turned around and shown you who he really is just because you're arguably who he's closest with. He's quickly becoming not the type of person you want to be with.
When you're the last two people in the bullpen, you realize you can't let him stay there all night. No matter how annoying he is, you're his friend, first and foremost, and he's clearly going through something.
So you approach him. "Hey, do you want to get dinner?" You ask.
"Not with you," Spencer replies coldly and totally uncharacteristically.
That's your breaking point. "What's wrong? Seriously, you've been horrible to me all day and I can't think of anything I've done to offend you."
Spencer sighs and it's weirdly more regretful than angry. "I... do you remember what you said this morning?"
You frown, unsure of what exactly he's referencing. "No?" Then you quickly add, "But I want to make things right."
"You said you didn't have a boyfriend." He feels pathetic saying it. The idea that someone like you would never be interested had been slipping from his mind, but now that concern is at the front of his mind.
You're only more confused then. "I don't."
"I thought I..." His cheeks flame up with embarrassment and he puts on a front of nonchalance. "I thought I was your boyfriend, okay? That's it."
Oh.
You wish you could have given Emily a different answer that morning. You would have proudly told her that Spencer Reid is your boyfriend, but you couldn't.
"You never asked me." You say softly, shuffling awkwardly on your feet.
"Did I need to?" He wonders dumbly, and it's very obvious that he's just unaware.
You shrug, explaining your point of view. "I thought we were still at the talking stage."
"The what?" Spencer asks.
"Like when you're just talking and casually dating, trying to work out if you're friends or if there's a romantic connection." You describe.
He nods softly before his heart sinks again. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot." You're easily the best thing that's been in his life for a long time, and now he's totally ruined it. If you didn't think he was too inexperienced before, you do now.
"You're not, not provably." You break the awkward silence and tension that's fallen over the room, making him chuckle a little. "And I like you, exclusively."
Spencer's frown is adorable but it's concerning large this time. "Really? Still?"
"Mm-hmm." You assure him. "As long as you promise to talk to me when something's wrong instead of icing me out."
He stands up quickly, nodding. "I swear and I'm really sorry." He promises you. "So would you like to go to dinner? As boyfriend and girlfriend?"
You try to suppress an inappropriately large grin. "I would."
Spencer doesn't hide his smile and he's awkwardly tripping over his bag and feet to meet you around his side of the desk. "Let's do it." He smiles softly at you, offering out his hand for you to hold.
You take it happily, walking to the elevator with him. "Let's do it, boyfriend."
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seospicybin · 4 months
Text
PROFESSIONAL COURTESY.
Tumblr media
PART II
Felix x reader. (s)
Chapters: Prologue / Part I
Synopsis: Discovering that his new boss is someone he had one night stand with, Felix struggles to separate work life and personal business. And at times, finding himself mixing those two as he works under your dominance. (16,9k words)
Author's note: Please enjoy this one too and don't be shy to leave feedbacks 🙂
Felix is getting better at keeping his work and personal life separated.
When he clocks into work, he naturally adjusts himself to the environment. He knows it's all about business with you and all he needs to do is do his job right, there's no space for him to be emotional in here.
However, there are times when he can't help but get a little personal and that's because he finds you the most attractive when you are focused on work, you have this little crease formed between your eyebrows and your lower lip slightly jutting out, and sometimes, you have your index and middle fingers pressed against your temple as you read something.
Felix has the trick for it, he'll just quietly admire you through the glass wall from his desk and then think about what he's going to do later with you.
He consoles himself with that thought whenever he can't do certain things to you in the office, going home with you and executing one of his ideas to you.
Today, he's thinking of kissing you against the kitchen island in your apartment and if he's lucky, he plans on getting you on it and—
"He wants to see you," Yoon shatters his daydream with her brooding eyes.
Felix drops the pen he's been twirling in his fingers to his desk, "Who?"
"Who else?" Yoon annoyingly asks, not answering his question.
"Mr. Kang?" He guesses since she is his assistant. He gets up from his chair because, despite Yoon's sluggish way of delivering a message, it seems important.
Yoon disappears to the pantry as he keeps walking toward Mr. Kang's office, he knocks on his door even though it's wide open just to be polite.
"Oh, Felix, yes, come in!" Mr. Kang says with his glasses slumped down the bride of his nose.
"You're calling for me?" He asks as he comes toward his desk and waits for him to allow him to sit.
"Yes, please, sit down," he says, putting away a stack of files on the side of the desk.
Felix feels nervous because it seems serious, he knows he's not getting fired but it's serious, still. He clasps his hands together on his lap.
"I'll be quick," Mr. Kang says, putting down his glasses as they rest on his chest with the small chain securing them from falling, "You know I always want you to be in my team and I think it's the right time to start"
It comes as a surprise to him because he's slowly forgetting his true purpose of working in this company, he wants to be a journalist and now the opportunity presents itself to him and weirdly, he's not as ecstatic as he imagined he would be.
"Oh?" He simply responds.
"Do you still want to be a journalist?" Mr. Kang asks, stacking his arms on the desk.
"Yes, I do," he shortly replies, he should be happy that the climb to his dream job has come to an end.
It would be impossible for Mr. Kang to not notice his slight vexation, he smiles and starts talking about, "We're not going to start right away. I just need you to do one thing to see if you're ready for the job or not."
Not wanting to seem like he's being ungrateful or not happy with the news, Felix politely smiles before speaking, "I am truly honored with this opportunity but Mr. Kang, I'm still working as an assistant and I don't think I can do it with my current position..."
Mr. Kang is smart, he understands his concerns about taking this job, "Also, don't worry. I consulted with the chief beforehand and she agreed to it," he explains, addressing you as the chief like he always does.
"Really?" He hastily responds, slightly shocked to find out you knew about it before him.
"Yes and you fully have her support, you have nothing to worry about," he informs.
Honestly, he's happy about it but what stopping him is knowing that he's not going to work for you again and that makes him sad.
This is what he wants so knowing that you support this means something to him. He gets consoled by the fact that you have his back on this and he's ready for whatever he has to do to get this job.
"So, what's the one thing that I need to do?"
Mr. Kang smiles before shuffling a file in front of him and pulling it out, laying it in front of him, "I want you to write about this senior soccer club, I know their manager so you can tell me when you want an interview with them."
Felix scans through the papers to see just the important details about the subject of his interview, "Do I have a deadline?"
"Uhm... how about a week? Next Tuesday, you'll bring me the finished article."
Felix can't tell if he's negotiating or challenging him, he's not one to back down from a challenge, and he confidently agrees to it.
"Next Tuesday it is," he says with a smile and shakes his hand.
The happiest part of the day has finally come.
He can relax as he drives you home and once he gets in the elevator with you, he can step out of his professional self and into himself. He gently puts his hand on the small of your back after pressing the button on your floor.
"Want to order dinner now?" He asks, his one hand is occupied with your purse and coat.
"Yeah. I'm kind of hungry," you answer, not hesitate to place your hand on his hand that rests on your hips.
"French?"
You lightly shake your head, "I'm thinking Italian?"
"Italian sounds nice," he says, smiling before leaning in to peck your lips.
The best part of his day is when his lips finally meet yours and fulfill his need for the taste of your lips. He holds your jaw as he presses another kiss, longer than the previous one, and has the power to take the pressures of the day off of his shoulders.
After dinner, you refill the glasses with more wine and he's been dreaming about kissing you against that kitchen island from the moment he woke up from his sleep, it feels surreal to finally be able to do it for real.
He slips his arms under and around you, "Why didn't you tell me about it?"
You turn your head to the side, "About what?"
"That you support me to be a journalist," he says.
You put down the bottle of wine, "Well, I think it's great for your career. I don't see why I shouldn't support that."
He buries his nose in your neck and inhales the natural scent of your skin, he lets it intoxicate him as it gives him a sense of comfort.
For a second, he forgot about what he was about to say to you, "But I want to keep working as your assistant."
You refrain from sipping your wine and let out a chuckle, "Don't be silly! You can't be my assistant forever."
"Yes, I can," he disagrees and digs his nose further into your neck.
"Stop. That tickles!" You grumble, breaking away from his hold, and turn to face him.
Felix is more than happy to look at you and your beautiful face that endlessly fascinates him, he needs a moment to take it all in and to convince him that you are real.
"I want to stay close to you," he blurts out and he thinks it's coming from deep within him.
You slyly smile and rest your hands flat on his chest, "We're already close."
"Not close enough," he says with a head shake.
"How close then?"
He closes the gap between your bodies so that you can feel his body heat and his breath warmly brushes your lips.
"This close?" You lowly ask.
Felix slightly tilts his head to the side, teasing you by rubbing his lips against yours and letting it tantalize him more in return.
"This close," he mutters in his low voice then crashes his lips against yours.
Oh, to turn his fantasy into reality! He kisses you so passionately, letting his desires drive him and control him. His hands roam down your body, his hand trailing down your spine and eventually landing on your clothed ass, he cups that ample flesh through your tight skirt while continuously kissing you.
It's unfair that you can turn him on as if he were a light switch.
The other thing he wants to do to you is lift you and sit you on the kitchen island so he starts gripping each side of your waist and gathering his strength to—
The sound of your phone ringing interrupted the heating moment, he ignores it and hopes you do the same. He distracts you from it by holding the nape of your neck and keeps kissing you.
However, it's not enough to make the phone stops ringing and your hand gropes around the kitchen island to look for your phone.
He presses a haste kiss on your lips and whines, "Just leave it."
You laugh because he sounds cute whining with his deep voice, "At least, let me check who's calling."
He whines again yet gives in, letting you check your phone but he keeps you caged between his arms.
One glance at your phone screen and you hit the button to accept the call, "Sorry, I have to take this," you lowly mutter while breaking away from his hold.
Felix sighs and then pouts as you enter your bedroom to continue talking on the phone. He drinks his wine and spends the time to check the mail and packages on the side of the kitchen island.
He learns that you subscribed to a lot of magazines from fashion to finance and obviously, sports ones too. They are mostly bills and invitations to various events, then... there's the big bouquet of flowers. He can't find any cards inside but he finds them in between the pile of mails. He opens the card to find a handwritten message, congratulating you on the release of the annual issue, and on the bottom corner, he finds the initial of the sender. K.S which he believes stands for Kim Seungmin, only seeing his initials is enough to make Felix roll his eyes and scoff in disbelief.
Not long after, you return from the bedroom and walk up to him, picking up your glass of wine to have a long sip. He could have asked who called you or asked you about the flowers but he knows better that he should respect the boundaries.
"So how much time does Mr. Kang give you to write?"
"Oh, so you knew about it too?" He puts one hand against the kitchen island and places the other on your waist, wanting to keep you close to him. He doesn't need your explanation of how you knew, he knows the answer, and it's because you're his boss.
"He gave me a week," he tells you.
"You'd better go home and start working on it then," you say, putting your hand on him and holding it.
"I don't want to go home. We have to continue—"
"No. That's an order!" You firmly tell him.
"But we're not working right now," he grumbles like a fussy child.
"That doesn't change the fact that I'm your boss," you remark, coyly declaring your dominance over him with a piercing gaze and a confident smile.
Isn't that just the sexiest thing you ever did? Instead of feeling offended or intimidated, Felix finds you more alluring and he doesn't mind if he has to be on his knees and worship you all day, he would do that for you even without you asking him.
He swallows hard and takes the message like a good boy, "Yes. That's right."
You reach for the collar of his shirt and fix it for him, "As a professional courtesy, I wish you good luck," you say with a chaste kiss on his cheek.
Without saying anything, Felix obeys your words, collecting his things and getting ready to leave. If you want him to go home and start working on his writing, then that's what he's going to do.
In other words, he's simply obeying the words of his boss whether it's professionally or personally, or both.
-
It's official, Felix has no personal life.
Well, not exactly that, he works as usual and goes straight home to work on his article so he has no time for anything personal at the moment. Even in between work, he goes to Mr. Kang's office to consult about his article.
That's when Felix comes to a realization that you've been cutting him a lot of slack. He makes sure that when it comes to you, he does his job right.
"Got you a new cup of coffee," he says, placing the cup of coffee on your desk.
You swivel your chair to face him and put down the file you're reading, looking at the coffee then shot him an impressed smile.
"No sugar, two creams, and searing hot just the way you like it," he says with a smile.
"Thank you," you softly mutter as you wrap your hand around the cup.
Seeing that he brought you coffee unannounced and you're in the middle of work, and he's in your office, it's better if he leaves you to your work.
"I'll just leave you to continue working," he says, excusing himself to leave.
"No, stay," You order, gesturing for him to sit on the small sofa in your office as you get up from your chair, "Have a seat!"
He stops on his track and makes a turn to sit on the sofa, awkwardly sitting there, then watches you coming to sit across from him.
"So, how's the writing going?" You ask while getting yourself comfortable by crossing your legs together
For a second, he gets distracted by your exposed thigh and how your legs are crossed at the ankle, "It's going well," he simply answers.
"You did the interview yesterday, right?" You ask, then take a careful sip of your coffee.
"Yes. It surprises me that I had a delightful time interviewing them," he shares with a smile.
"Because they're elderly people?"
"No, it's not that," he immediately denies, "It's just refreshing to talk with them about their experiences, their passion..."
You suddenly let out a chuckle and say, "I wasn't serious with my question."
Felix can't believe that he gets to this point of being able to be playful with each other in the office, he allows himself to relax and well, be playful as well.
"Well, actually, that too," he jokingly says.
"How close are you to finish it?"
"I just need to do a few things but it's almost there," he calmly answers.
"So you're confident you'll finish it on time?" You ask with your face slightly turned serious.
"Yes," he confidently and seriously answers.
"That's great to hear," you respond with a soft smile.
You sit straighter on your seat then lean forward, and that makes him feel like you're putting all of your attention on him, "Maybe once you finished your article, we can do something to celebrate it," you say.
It sends a shiver down his spine and it's because he can't tell whether you're being professional or personal, either way, it makes him nervous.
There's a line that Felix knows he shouldn't cross and he oftentimes doesn't find it hard to resist the temptation to do it until today.
"I'll look forward to that," he manages to keep his calm.
"Better finish your article on time then," you say, slyly smiling at him.
He never thought that he'd be this scared to be in the same room with you, scared that he'd lose it and do as he pleases in this very room.
He shoots up from his seat and looks at you, "I'd better get back to my work," he says in one breath, not even waiting for your permission to leave the room.
-
Felix keeps his word to finish the article on time. He sent the finished article last night to Mr. Kang and he's been anxiously waiting for his call when he can just go to his office and ask about it.
When the phone rings, his first thought is that it's Mr. Kang and his heart skips a beat. He draws a long breath and then picks up the handle of the phone.
But instead of the call that he's been waiting for, it's the one call he doesn't expect to answer.
"It's Kim Seungmin," The caller says to him.
He knows it's his job to inform you but he finds it very hard to do, "Please, wait a minute!"
He calls your office and hopes that you don't pick up the call, but he sees through the glass wall that you're picking it up just now.
"Yes?"
"Mr. Kim Seungmin is on the line to talk to you," he informs with a sour expression.
"I'll take it," you shortly reply.
"He's on line two."
"Thank you, Felix," you mutter as you press the button to switch lines and accept his call.
Felix should be hanging up his phone by now but he hides behind his computer screen and quietly listens in on your conversation.
"Hey, sorry for calling you through the office."
"I was about to ask you that. You could have called my numbers."
"I called but it seems you were on the call with someone."
"Oh yeah, I was on a call with Suze."
"Suze, huh?"
"Just the usual rant about her brother," you say with a laugh and he hates how you can be so casual and comfortable talking to him about personal things like that.
"I kind of figured. Well, I'm calling you to ask about the dinner."
"What dinner?"
"Your family dinner, I got invited so I thought..."
"Oh, of course, they invited you first before telling me about it."
"It seems like it."
Felix smirks at that, knowing that he's been invited by your family and not you which means that the two of you are close but not that close, he reckons.
"Should I come or...? I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I can—"
"No, please. You'll be the only person I can tolerate there."
"Oh, great. I was thinking—"
The slap on the desk startles him and he hurriedly slams the phone down, forgetting that you might noticed that he's been eavesdropping.
"Mr. Kang is asking for you," Yoon says, greeting him with her usual brooding eyes through her thick glasses.
"Goodness, Yoon! You could have reached me through the phone," he scolds her while calming himself from almost getting caught listening in on your call.
"Well, your line has been busy and I'm impatient," she says, she stops lingering by his desk as usual and leaves without saying anything else.
This is what he's been waiting all day, a call from Mr. Kang and now he's got it so he should get himself to it. He comes to his office with his heart beating so fast that he thinks it's about to jump out of his chest at any moment.
"Come on in! I've been expecting you," Mr. Kang says with a welcoming smile.
Felix suddenly fills with hopefulness, he somehow gets the assurance that no matter what happens, he's going to be alright.
"I read your article as soon as I received it last night," Mr. Kang says, clasping his hands together in front of him.
From his expression, Felix can tell that he likes it or at least, he doesn't find it that bad, "And what do you think, sir?"
He smacks his lips together and nods, "I think you've done a wonderful job!"
Felix can finally let out a sigh of relief, he knows Mr. Kang will like it but knowing it for sure relieved him from the pressures that have been weighing on his chest.
"I'll have it published on the site tomorrow morning," he shares another great news.
"Published?" Felix asks in disbelief, thinking he misheard it.
"Yes," Mr. Kang excitedly answers, he then offers his hand at him and says, "Welcome to my team!"
Shaking his hand means that the climb is finally over but that also means he'll no longer be your assistant, his heart feels heavy about moving on to a new part of his career but it's necessary.
Felix takes a deep breath, takes Mr. Kang's hand, and then shakes it.
-
Felix feels bittersweet as he packs his stuff from the desk he's been working in for almost three years now. But he knows the bitter part is coming from knowing that he's not working under you anymore, at least, not directly.
The phone rings and shattering the melancholic moment for him, he immediately picks it up.
"Please come into my office!" You concisely say to the phone.
He doesn't need to answer but come into your office like you asked, "What can I help you with?" He asks as he stands in front of your desk, ready to take your orders.
"Oh, no. I'm not asking you to do things for me," you tell him, putting your files on a neat stack on your desk, "I only have a few things to say to you."
Somehow, hearing that makes him disappointed, he wants to do things for you before he can't do it anymore for you. "Okay," he meekly answers.
"Well, first, congratulations on your first article," you say, pushing the stack of files away to the side of the desk.
"Thank you," he gratefully mutters, "if you don't mind, I'd like to hear what do you think about it?"
You look up from the file you're holding, "I say it's a very well-written piece of writing. I think you did great on your first gig on the job."
You get around the desk and walk up to where you hang your coat to get your purse, "Which I also should congratulate you on that."
"Thank you again," he says with a smile.
"I promised you about doing something once you're finished with the article so..." you walk up to him and hand him your credit card, "Here, drinks are on me tonight."
That's not what Felix expected as something that you promised him but his disappointment doesn't stop.
"Unfortunately, I can't join the celebration. I have a family dinner to attend," you explain with an apologetic smile.
He's not upset about you not joining the celebration of his job promotion, but knowing that your ex-fiance will be there.
"Once again, congratulations and hope you enjoy your new role in the company," you say, keeping it formal and business with your courteous smile.
What did he expect though? He's working and he's in your office, you can't just run hug, or kiss each other.
"Thank you so much," Felix says and that's all he can say for now.
Honestly, he has something to ask you but not here, not now. He flashes you a grateful smile before turning around to leave your office but something keeps tugging in his chest and he needs to get it off.
Felix braves himself to just go with his gut and comes up to you, he gently places his hand on your elbow while using his body to shield this whole interaction.
"Hey, I know that we're still working and we're in the office but..." he pauses to breathe in and out while checking if you're comfortable with what he's doing.
"Can I take you on a ride this weekend?"
You remain quiet for a moment then a soft smile appears on your face, "I would love to."
Now he got his answer, he should be letting go of his hand on you but he insists on lingering there for a moment, seeing you eye to eye until it lessens the yearning in him.
When he lets go, he immediately takes a step back and raises your credit card, "Thank you for this. I'll make sure to have fun tonight."
Deep down, Felix knows he's excited for something else other than tonight.
-
The second Felix sees you coming out of the door, his heart palpation. He believes it's you and your radiant smile that makes you look stunning even though you're dressed in a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans.
He doesn't notice you've been carrying the jacket you borrowed from him in one hand until you come up to him.
"Have you been waiting long?" You ask.
He shakes his head and smiles, "Not long enough," he jokingly answers.
"I'm sorry. I had to take a phone call from my mom," you explain as you put on your jacket.
"That's okay. You're here now," he says, turning around to get a helmet for you.
You stand still as he helps you put the helmet on, he fixes your hair first, brushing it to the side but seeing your face this close and not kissing you feels wrong. Tempted, he holds your jaw and places a soft kiss on your lips, longer than he intended to.
When he pulls away, he sees your eyes are still closed so he allows himself to place a quick peck on your lips.
"I'm sorry. I can't help it," he apologizes.
You only respond with a low chuckle and tilt your head upward so he can clasp the straps of the helmet together for you.
Felix gets on his bike and puts on his leather gloves, then turns the key in the ignition until the engine roars to life. He revs it up a few times to get it warmed up then holds his stance to let you hop on the back of the bike.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
He puts his helmet on and pulls the visor down, before launching his bike towards the main road and rides on.
The weather is nice today, he plans on taking you on a slow ride out of the city through the scenic route. He stops at a few spots that offer breathtaking views and then stops at a diner to have a quick lunch.
On the road with you like this pulls him out of the harsh reality and into the life he dreamed where he can be with you without having to worry about what or where he is.
He remembers your hands were around his waist earlier but now, they're resting on his thighs again. He chuckles when he glances at it, and shifts his focus back on the road ahead of him.
In the afternoon, the weather takes a drastic turn as thick clouds cast dark shadows on a supposedly sunny day and not long after, the rain starts showering you together.
Since the rain is only getting harder and it's dangerous to keep riding, Felix stops at the first sighting of a neon sign that leads to someplace he can take shelter in.
What he doesn't expect is that "someplace" to be a motel, he cringes once he notices it but he already parked the bike and you already got off.
"Do you want to...?" He gives up on suggesting to check in to the motel, he alternates with a new idea, "I think there's a hotel not far from here—"
You hug yourself as your jacket is drenched and so are your jeans and shoes, "What's wrong with the motel?"
He takes your helmet from you and brushes his wet hair to the back, "Are you okay with it?"
"We can't keep riding in this weather," you simply answer, emphasizing that comfort comes second after safety.
The motel costs not even half of the cost of one day stay in a 5-star hotel you book in but for a motel, it's adequate. A bed, a TV, a working room heater, and complimentary packs of instant coffee.
You take the first turn to use the bathroom and come out wearing the t-shirt he bought from the souvenir shop downstairs that are two sizes too big for you because they only have one size available.
"That looks good on you," he sincerely compliments.
You shyly smile and sit on the bed next to him, "So what's for dinner?"
Felix scrunches his nose, embarrassed that he can't find anything decent except for some inconvenient store foods.
"Cup noodles and..." he brings the cup of instant coffee he made earlier, "Coffee."
You take it from him with both hands, using the heat to warm you up as you put your legs on the bed and cross it together.
"I don't know if you'll like it," he sheepishly says.
You take a careful sip and swallow it, doing it so calmly.
"How did it taste?"
"It's..." you pause for a second before continuing, "alright."
He can't help but laugh watching you befuddled by what you've just drank, "You don't have to keep drinking it."
"No, it's okay. It's not that bad," you assure him and take another sip of the coffee.
The night is getting late but the rain doesn't come to a stop, the constant raindrops pattering against the window somehow adding to the sentiment of the moment as he lays with you on the bed, sharing the thin blanket.
"This isn't what I planned for today," he groans as he stares at the ceiling.
"What was your plan?" You curiously ask.
"There's this nice restaurant with a nice view..." he doesn't continue his sentence but sighs.
"But this is nice too," you mutter as you snuggle close to his side.
Things didn't go as planned and Felix has been worried that you're not enjoying the trip as he wanted it to be, but knowing that you're enjoying this detour the same makes him feel relieved, he quietly smiles in triumph.
"And you know," you murmur, rubbing the tip of your nose against his cheek, "we can always make it better."
He'd be lying if he said this is not what he's been waiting to hear, you permit him to make things better.
"That's right," he agrees, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer. This way, he can look at your face and admire it, before slowly putting his lips on yours.
The truth is things will always be better when he's with you, either it's your smile, your hand that rests on his chest, or the warmth of your body against him. But it's the kiss, it's your kiss that makes things ten times better and reminds him of the purpose of his life.
He holds you tight as he deepens the kiss, one hand rests on the nape of your neck while the other grips your waist, steadily keeping you close to him.
But also, in a moment like this, something starts to gnaw inside him and force its way to come out. He slowly pulls away and tries to convey what's bothering him from the inside.
"I have to ask you something," he murmurs as his hand cups your cheek.
"Yes?"
He has arranged words in his head to say and opens his mouth but nothing comes out of it, "I think—"
The sound of the door being slammed shut startles both of you and Felix snaps his head in the direction of the door, turns out, the sound is coming from the next room as he can hear footsteps and also the TV being turned on as the noise drowning out the sounds of the rain.
Fuck, no! Things are just getting good and whoever stays in the next room decides to come back now, ruining the kiss, the moment, the tension building in the room, everything.
"Thin walls," you mutter, making it obvious that the two of you can't do certain things here without being heard by anyone in the next room.
"Yep," he bitterly answers, guessing that you're going to call it a night.
Instead of that, you get on top of him and kiss him deeply, "We just have to keep it quiet then," you easily resolve, planting your lips on him again.
That's an easy thing to say but a hard thing to do, not when your body makes him want to scream, letting the world know how heavenly your body is.
"Oh, you're so soft," he mutters into your neck as he runs his hand down your back as you sit straddling him.
You giggle as he roughly kisses your neck, you put your hands around his neck, letting him bury his head between your breasts which he's more than happy to do.
"You like them so much, mmh?" you murmur as you give his hair a quick ruffle.
With his mouth full of your breast, he can only nod in response.
"That's enough," you calmly order him to stop but he's too focused on enjoying himself.
You put your hands on his chest and gently push him away, forcing him to let go of your breasts. With his mouth gaping open, he looks at you in confusion.
"Lay on your back," you mutter right into his ear.
He slowly lets go of his hands on you and lowers himself onto the bed, laying on his back as you instructed. Soon after, you hover above him with your hands propped next to his head. You flash him a naughty smile before placing a passionate kiss on his lips.
"I'll take care of you tonight," you murmur with your warm breath brushing his lips as you speak along with a gentle caress on his freckled cheek.
That's a way to get him all hot and excited. Being naked on the bed with you is already enough for him and now you want to take care of him? This is too good to be true.
"I have a condom with me," he says, slowly getting up to reach for his jacket.
You push him down, so hard that it startles him, "I told you to lay back," you tell him again with a glare.
"Okay," he slightly stuttering as he lay back on the bed again.
Your eyes are staring into his eyes but your hand is gliding down his front and stops on his abdomen, trailing the outline of his abs with your fingers.
"We don't need that tonight," you tell him as your hand lowers to find his hardening length.
Knowing that you want to do it raw and added with the fact that he knows how good you feel around him without a layer of protection, those things tell him that it's not going to be easy for him.
"I need you to relax and just..." you pause as you start giving his cock slow, steady strokes, "...let me take good care of you."
Felix finds himself caught under your spell, repeatedly nodding and agreeing to whatever you say. You slyly smile as you're straddling him and begin to rub his cock between your folds, wetting it with your arousal.
"Oh, and one more thing," you suddenly add, getting him alerted when he's about to try to relax.
"What?" He asks with his voice turned hoarse.
Catching him off guard, you align his cock with your entrance and slide him in, making him groan at the overwhelming sensation.
You immediately cover his mouth with your hand, "Shh... keep it quiet, remember?"
This is your plan all along, making him struggle to stay quiet as some sort of entertainment for you but hey, as long as both sides gain something, there's nothing to lose here.
"How do I feel?" You ask, then remove your hand from his mouth.
He holds your hand close to his mouth and kisses your palm, "You're always good. Always," he emphasizes every word to you.
"Hmm... ah..." you let out low, breathy moans with your hands going all over.
Felix has the best view from under you, he can see his cock buried deep inside you and at the same time, watching you touch yourself. He joins in on the fun, using his hands to admire your soft, warm skin and touch you as much as he wants.
You take one of his hands, guiding him to where you want to touch him, down south to where you and him connected. From there, he needs no directions anymore, his fingers can easily locate your bundle of nerves and start circling on it.
"Oh, baby..." you moan and giggle at the same time with your head tilted upward.
After a moment, you look at him again and say, "I'm going to start moving, yeah?"
For support, you rest your hands on his chest and begin by slowly rolling your hips in a circular motion, making you feel his whole length inside you.
Felix realizes the danger he's in as he can feel how tightly you are wrapped around him, so hot and slippery. He keeps in mind that he needs to relax and stay quiet so he bites his lips to prevent him from making any noises.
The bed is fainty creaking as you rock your hips back and forth, making him feel the drag of his cock against your velvety walls in each movement. But with this steady pace, he's confident that he can hold it in long.
"You're so hard, so big inside me," you mutter to him while keeping your voice low and sultry.
You're using compliments now to get him off and strangely, it works on him as he tries so hard to do the opposite.
"And you're always tight for me," he compliments back, cupping your ass cheeks in his hands and kneading on them as he talks.
"You feel so good inside me," you praise him more with a rather sexy smirk on your face.
His brain is close to short-circuit, all he can do is return the compliments to you, "You feel so good inside me."
You slide your hand up and wrap your hand around his neck, "I don't think I'll ever find a more perfect cock to be inside me than yours."
With your hand on his neck, you can easily angle his head to make him look at you and ask, "Don't you think?"
"Yes, yes," he hastily replies as he feels your fingers pressing in around his neck.
With a sloppy kiss on his lips, you decide to let go of his neck only to change your position, you plant both feet on the mattress and put your hands behind you, propped against his thighs.
"This way you can see yourself slipping in and out of me," you tell him then proceed to show it to him by doing it.
Watching it and feeling it at the same time sends his mind into overdrive, he feels nothing but pleasure after pleasure, coming to him non-stop.
"Slow down, oh! Please!" He pleads while gripping your thighs so hard his fingers dug into the flesh
You hear his plea and abruptly stop moving, you get back to straddling him and leaning in as you softly ask, "Want to take a moment?"
"Yes, yeah," he breathlessly answers.
You hastily kiss his lips and hover above him again, "Okay."
Felix needs to calm down but he knows he can't waste the chance to be intimate with you, he pulls you by the neck so he can kiss you, hard and deep, taking as much taste of you as he could.
"I'm going to start moving again," You announce with a kiss on his cheek.
Felix thinks he's ready to go again but he believes it's mostly because he doesn't want to stop. There's a big chance that he'll be a moaning mess under you but does he mind though?
"Let's take it slow this time, yeah?" You sweetly mutter with a peck on his lips.
Your spell binds him stronger, all he wants to do is say yes to you and obey your words without question. It sounds easy to say but putting it into action is a different thing.
Keeping true to your words, you're moving at a slow pace, alternating between rocking your hips back and forth to roll your hips in circular motions. At times, you pull back just enough so you can take him deeper inside you.
"Argh!" He groans, finding it harder to keep quiet.
You grab his hands and place them on your waist, you keep moving while holding them, "You like that, mmh?"
His mouth is dry from constantly moaning so he nods instead.
"Mmh... You're getting bigger and bigger inside me," you say with a sly smirk.
"Oh, so fucking good..." you hum with eyes closed.
The way you're riding him and the way you're enjoying yourself riding him along with the sweet praises you utter in between, oh, he can't take it anymore.
"I'm going to cum," he blurts out with his hands gripping at your waist again, helplessly trying to stop you.
"Huh?" You ask in disbelief as you slow down and eventually stop moving, "Already?"
He hates to admit it but finds himself nodding, he can't lie when you can feel it inside you, how his cock throbs and pulsates with so much desire.
You hover with your face only inches away above him, "I'm so disappointed," you say.
Best believes Felix is also disappointed in himself for having such weak self-control, but what can he do? His body wants what it wants.
You bury your head in his neck and place soft kisses in there, "You can't cum yet, baby."
He takes a long, deep breath and looks at you through his half-shut eyes, "You're just too good," he explains with his deep, hoarse voice.
You catch his lips in a kiss and keep kissing him, your teeth playfully biting at his lower lip as a way to help him relax. When you pull away, you hold his face and take a second to admire the freckles dusted his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, it would take a lot of time to place a kiss on each freckle but it's a challenge you're willing to take.
"Can I continue now?"
Not sure he can hold back longer or even as long as the previous one, he stifles a nod in response to your question. What he knows for sure is he wants you, he wants you so bad.
You prop your hands against the mattress and stay hovering above him, "It's your fault for having such a good cock," you jokingly say with a kiss planted on his nose.
"I just want to keep fucking you," you say, starting to move your hips.
"And fucking you," you set a steady pace, pulsating your hips with intensity.
"And fucking you more," you continue, suddenly picking up the pace.
The previous stimulations are making him more sensitive than before and you become tighter, clenched around him and you're just so fucking sexy, fucking him with your breasts bouncing along to the movement and a blissful smile on your face.
"Oh, fuck," a profanity falls out of his mouth. He's really on the brink of climaxing.
There's no way he can get what he wants without asking, he ignores how pathetic he'll sound and asks you, "Can I cum?"
"No, not yet," you shortly reply.
"Please, let me cum!" He desperately begs, his eyes are fluttering shut and open, and he's holding on to the last shred of his sanity.
"Do you want to cum that much?"
"So much," he answers as much as he could.
You let out a light chuckle and kiss him as you lower yourself on him, you're probably seeing him like a needy baby and he doesn't mind at all.
You lean in and hold his gaze, "How about you finish it for us then?"
Did he hear that right? Are you letting him take control? Will he be able to handle it though? And so many thoughts are rushing through his head right now.
Not getting an answer from him, you kiss him to snap him out of his head, then ask, "Why am I not hearing anything?"
"Yes," he hastily replies before you change your mind. He puts his arms around you and rests his hands on the arch of your back, he allows himself to kiss you first before turning you over without pulling out of you.
Having you pinned underneath him doesn't change the fact that you still have him in your spell. Your body endlessly enticing him, the eyes you're giving him are seductive and you have that sweet yet devilish smile on your face, everything that makes you you is his weakness.
"Are you going to make me cum too?" You teasingly ask, tugging your finger between your teeth.
"I'll try," he manages to jokingly answer.
You softly chuckle and put your hand on his arm, feeling his bicep contract as you grip on it, "Let's see you try."
Now that he gets to do everything he wants, Felix can't decide what he should do first but he soon settles with a kiss, planting a kiss on every inch of skin he can land his lips on and eventually, makes a return to your lips again.
"I want you to do one more thing for me," you speak so low it's almost like a whisper.
His heart skips a beat and that's because he knows your request is never one that is easy to fulfill, possible but hard to achieve. Then again, your spell is still working on him and at this point, he's spellbound for life.
"You can tell me," he says to you with his fingers tenderly playing with your nipples.
You rest your hands on his shoulders and look at him with your eyes filled with wild glints, enchanting him to look back into your eyes.
"I want you to cum inside me," you casually say like it does not affect him whatsoever.
Felix feels a surge of electricity throughout his body, it makes him feel tingling inside and to his surprise, making him feel more alive. But his brain is processing your words slower than his body.
"Wh-what?" He stutters.
"You heard me," you coyly say, then your sly smile vanishes in a second as you ask, "Or do you want me to repeat my words?"
He knows the meaning of having you repeat your words to him and it's not good. His excitement is tinted with a slight fear now, but he's excited nonetheless.
"I heard you," he immediately says.
"That's a good boy," You mutter, the sly smile returns to your face as you slip your hand into his hair and softly give his scalp soft scratches, "Now, kiss me!"
He complies without complaint, lowering his mouth on you again and indulging himself with the taste of your lips, he patiently pries your mouth open with his tongue to slip in to get more taste of you.
Meanwhile, you part your legs wider and put them around his waist, crossing them by the ankles behind him, sending him launched deeper inside you.
"Oh, my fu—" he manages to stifle his breath, stopping himself from finishing cursing.
"Good, yeah?"
"Always," he hisses through his gritted teeth.
Felix can't decide where to look, he wants to see his cock going in and out of you but at the same time, he wants to see your face, how you're reacting to his performance and he ends up alternating between the two.
You take his hand, shoving his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it. He reckons you're doing it to prevent yourself from making noises.
He glances down to see his cock is slippery with both of your arousal then looks up to find you looking at him. Not just looking, you deeply look into his eyes with your innocent yet seductive eyes.
As he continuously thrusts into you, he bravely maintains eye contact with you and finds those eyes do more than just look, they're speaking so many words that the mouth can't say. They are filled with so much want, so much passion, they're provoking him and arousing him more and more.
"Are you going to cum for me?" You lowly ask.
"Yes."
"Going to fill me with your cum, yeah?"
He eagerly bobs his head in agreement, "Yes."
"Want to be filled with your hot cum," your voice is shaking as his body responds to your words by picking up the pace and he thrusts harder into you.
"You can't stop until you fill me full with your cum, mmh?" You grip the sides of your pillow as he thrusts even harder into you, sending your body forward with each thrust.
"You're so close, mmh?"
"Can I cum?" he asks with an overwhelmed groan.
"Now?" You calmly ask like you're not watching him struggling to keep it together.
"Please, let me cum!" He pleads, holding your waist so hard that his nails make crescent marks on the skin, "I can't hold it in. I need to cum."
Despite how tired he is, he keeps pushing himself to the limit, using all of his remaining strength to keep moving his hips and incessantly thrusting into you.
"Please..." he desperately begs with his eyes screwed shut.
You coil your hands around his arms and pull him closer, "Okay, baby, you can cum now."
With your permission, he can finally let himself go, thrusting into you and letting it take him to his release. He gets to the point that he stops caring about staying quiet, he wants to let you know how much he wants it by moaning and groaning to the pleasure that fills him to the brim.
With the way you keep clenching, sucking him deeper and deeper, it doesn't take long for him to finally come undone. Your legs are locked around his waist and you keep him close, not letting him pull away yet.
The feeling of filling you with his seed triggers something deep within him that makes him growl and it sounds nothing like a human with his deep voice, he hurriedly plants his mouth on your sternum to muffle his noises.
"Look at you cumming inside me," you murmur with your hands cradling his head in your chest and gently brushing his head.
"That's my good boy," you coo with a kiss on the top of his head.
-
The rain has turned into a light shower outside and the quiet in the room has been replaced with the echo of your giggles as Felix places ticklish kisses on your neck.
He's lying naked under the cover and cuddling on the bed with you, the things that he's not even dared to dream of ever happening but it happened, right here, in this moment with you.
"How are you—" you got cut off with a haste kiss on your lips to finish your words.
Felix shifts his attention to your breasts, taking them into his mouth in turn and twirling his slick tongue around your nipples, making them hard and wet.
"How are you still hard, mmh?" You try again as you put your hand in his dark locks and gently scratch his scalp.
What you're doing to him makes him purr like a kitten with his mouth latched to your breast, he closes his eyes and clings to your chest while his other gently kneading on the other.
In a tender moment like this, Felix sees for what you truly are: genuine, self-assured and you may seem aloof to many but you're very attentive, only if one knows to treat you right.
In this moment, he also feels like he can comfortably share things with you and vice versa.
Felix happens to have something he's been wanting to ask you, something that gnawing inside him and won't stop gnawing at him until he gets the answer.
"Can we keep doing this?" He asks.
The question catches you off guard, you stop playing with his hair and look at him, "You mean the sex or...?"
He realizes that his question lacks context, he chuckles and plants his elbow against the mattress, he uses his hand to prop his chin, "Since I'm no longer working under you, I figure that... you know, I'm afraid you'd find it uncomfortable to keep doing this," he sounds sad without he's intending to.
Felix knows that you value your privacy so much, he knows you're risking your family name by secretly going out with him like this and now that he's not directly working for you anymore, you would want to stop doing it as well.
"If that's what you want, I respect it. I'll respect your decision nonetheless," he quickly adds, not wanting to sound demanding or forcing anything on you.
"So... not just the sex?" You ask in confusion.
"Not just the sex," he answers, finding himself not able to look at you in the eyes.
Instead of answering, you stretch your arms out to the air and then drop them around his shoulders. You let out a delightful sigh and then smile at him.
"Well, first thing first, you're still working under me," you tell him with an eyebrow raise.
Felix grins and says, "That's fair."
"Second thing is unless one of us wants to stop doing this then I don't see why we should," you tell him.
"Do you want to stop?" He asks with his head beating out of control inside his chest, afraid of hearing the answer he doesn't want.
"No," you answer without a beat, "I like this."
Hearing you say something about this unnamed relationship makes him feel elated, moreover, he feels acknowledged and seen.
"You should worry more about getting the time to do this," you say.
"Why is that?" He asks in confusion.
"You're a journalist now. You'll do a lot of fieldwork, busy writing, and...'
"Nah. I don't. I don't think so," he doubtfully says, but he's confident that he can always make time for you.
Looking at his troubled expression, you let out a chuckle then continue talking, "The third and the last thing is... you will always be working under me," you mutter those words with a smirk on your face, knowing exactly what it does to him.
Those words aren't just words, they are a declaration of your dominance over him and it'll stay like that for the unforeseeable future. Felix doesn't mind being a submissive, he is in love with the idea of catering to your wants and needs, helping you to achieve things and the most important thing is he gets to stay close to you.
"Did that answer your question?" You ask while brushing his hair away from his forehead.
"Yes," he answers with a satisfied smile, boldly leaning in to place a long, lingering kiss on your lips.
"Do you have another question or do you want to try to make me cum for real this time?"
You were busy making him cum to focus on pleasing yourself and he was busy with himself trying not to cum fast, it's his turn to return the favor to you now. And let's say, he's determined to give you the utmost pleasure.
"I'll try harder this time."
"You'd better be."
-
If there's one thing he should learned by now is that you're right. You're always right.
Felix hardly comes to the office because he's busy doing his job on the field, covering various sports matches and events. He only comes to the office to attend meetings or when he needs to finish work by the nearing deadlines
He's well aware you're in there in your office, working and being your graceful self as always, but he barely has time to see you.
But today, he gets his chance. He purposely comes early to the office to borrow the office's laptop, there's hardly anyone in there except for the janitors sweeping the floor but just in case, he takes the longer route to the elevator and walks past your office.
At first, he doubts that you'd already come but the universe seems to hear his plea and decides to grant his wish, he enters your office and finds you standing behind your desk.
"You came early," he blurts out, still in disbelief that he finally meets you in person and not just a glimpse of you he sees through the window of your office.
You look over your shoulder and hang your jacket on the coat hanger before walking up to him, "You came early," you say back.
"I notice your new assistant isn't here yet," he says, pointing to his former desk right outside your office.
"She'll be here," you say, "after getting the copy of a book I want and my breakfast sandwich with a cup of searing hot coffee."
It feels like a distant memory that he used to be that person doing all sorts of errands for you, it's crazy that he's kind of missing it.
"Bookstores aren't open until 8 I'm afraid," he informs.
"Well, she only needs to find a bookstore that opens earlier than that," you say with a coy shrug.
Your cold act doesn't fool him, he knows you're actually a very warm person inside but then, he reminds himself that he's in the office now, therefore, he should act accordingly.
You're leaning against your desk and cross your arms together in front of you, "how are you?"
"Never been better," he says, now that he's seeing you looking as beautiful as always. He must say there's something that seems not right about you, he just can't tell what is it.
"Are you sure?"
He's busy figuring out what's different about you, "Huh?"
"You said 'never been better'. Are you sure?" You ask again, coming to close the gap between your bodies by a few steps.
Then he realizes that things are only better when he's with you, "Oh, sorry. I was wrong," he immediately takes back his previous answer.
You smile and take another step to close the gaping space between you and him, "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah. I need to interview this new baseball player," he explains, sparing the details from you.
"On your bike?"
He gets it that you're not interested in where he's going, "Yes," he answers.
You take the final step and stop right in front of him, you place your hand on the lapel of his leather jacket, sighing as you feel the fabric under your touch.
Afraid that anyone may walk into the office and see this, Felix looks around in slight panic, but the office remains empty just as he saw it a moment ago.
"Mmh..." you hum as you place your other hand on his chest and look up at him.
In your eyes he can easily find the answer, they're not filled with fiery glints and mesmerize him the same, they're dim and rather sad.
"Are you okay?" He asks, sensing that something is bothering you.
You shake your head and weakly smile, "You can always make it better," you give him a cryptic answer.
To his surprise, you bring his head close and kiss him, long and lingering, making his heart rattle in his chest. Your kiss is always something you assured yourself doing, it's something that he knows for sure you wanted but this kiss somehow feels different.
The moment you break the kiss, he smiles and asks, "Did we just kiss in the office?"
"Well, consider that as a professional courtesy," you give him a witty answer.
"Can we do this professional courtesy once more?" He appeals with his sweet, bright smile.
"Sure," you answer with a coy shrug.
He holds your face and then slowly leans in to kiss you, softly yet intensely. At the same time, this kiss helps him recall what it reminded him of and it's of the kiss you shared in the hotel room, that night after the boxing match.
When he pulls away, he wonders what makes you seek solace in him. What bothers you? Who dares to make you sad this time?
"Are you okay?" He asks again, allowing himself to cup your face in his hand.
"I feel better now," you assure him with a smile.
If there's something to gain, there's something to lose as well. Felix is living his dream job right now but in return, he's losing and that is time with you. He can feel that this distance strained your relationship in a way that he no longer feels as close to you as he used to be.
All of a sudden, you get back to your formality and walk back to your desk, "You'd better be on your way then. You don't want to be late for the interview."
He has the feeling that you behave that way because there's a presence of another person in there, he looks out of the window of your office and sees that your assistant has come.
"Wow. She's good," Felix lowly mutters, watching her bringing your breakfast on a tray for you.
"Good morning, ma'am," your new assistant says as she enters the room.
She walks past him and serves your breakfast on your desk, she then fills your glass with a newly opened bottle of sparkling water.
"Your breakfast," she says, announcing that it's ready for you.
She nervously stands with her hands clasped in front of her, watching you reacting plainly to it as you take the cup of coffee in your hand.
Before it gets awkward, Felix excuses himself out of your office but before he reaches the door, he can hear you ask about the book.
"I couldn't find any open bookstores so I have someone to deliver it soon," she says.
"We have friends in so many publishing companies and you can't get a copy for me?"
"The release date for the book is today. I don't think it's possible to—"
Felix shuts the door before he can hear the rest of the conversation, he gets a shiver from remembering the first few days working for you. This job is not for the faint of the heart, and he's partly lucky because you cut him a lot of slack.
"She's not that good apparently," he mutters to himself.
However, Felix lingers by his old desk and waits until your new assistant comes out of your office, her face flushed and she keeps her head down as she walks to her desk.
"Can I help you?" She asks.
Felix glances at the name on her desk then slides his phone on the table at her, "So June, this is my friend's number, I believe he can help you to get the book she wanted," he says.
June's face lights up, she quickly copies the numbers on Felix's phone and inserts them into her phone.
"What do you want in return?" She asks, knowing exactly that this should be a fair trade.
Felix doesn't need to put on a charming smile for her, he leans and whispers, "I just need to look at her schedule."
She gives him a questioning look, probably wondering what his intention is but she can't say any of that to her savior, right? She turns the computer screen toward him and pretends to be busy on her phone.
Felix knows where to check your schedule, he skips past the weekdays to see if you have anything to do on this weekend but they're blocked with red.
"What's with this? Why it's—" He asks June, tapping the computer screen with his finger.
"She said she's going somewhere and not to be disturbed," June answers.
"Do you know where?"
"Nope."
"Did she mention anyone going with her...?" He tries to sound casual as he asks it, pretending to not care but secretly dying to know the answer.
"She only said she's leaving for a personal matter," June simply answers, turning her computer screen facing her.
Trade is completed, he got what he wanted in return but did not quite meet his expectations. He can simply go back to your office and ask about it but he's going to be late for the interview.
As Felix stomps his way out of the office, he gets reminded of something, he opens his phone to check if it's right and he is, next Sunday is your birthday.
-
Felix knows almost everyone working as the concierge in your apartment building, they let him in without questions, probably thinking he's still your assistant or simply because they trust him. He doesn't know exactly when will you get back from your trip but he knows it's today because tomorrow, you have an important meeting with a client.
That's right, he eventually found that that you went on a weekend trip with a few friends to celebrate your birthday, he knows it for sure after seeing Suze's Instagram page.
So his plan for today is to prepare a welcome and birthday party at once, you'll probably be too tired to party anyway so he only set a simple celebration and a birthday cake for you.
As for the gift, he struggles so much to find one for you because one, you have everything, two, even if you don't have it, you can easily buy it yourself and third, doesn't matter what the gift is, it's the thought that counts.
He reckons, a gift that comes from the heart would make an impression on you so he baked the birthday cake himself and even bought flowers, in case the cake is a disappointment.
Is this considered as crossing the line though? He stands by his words that he's doing it out of good intentions and he hopes you see that.
He prepares everything in the kitchen, setting the cake in the middle along with the plates and cutlery, he also brings a bottle of wine that you like.
Oh, it's so convenient to know everything you like and don't like!
He's busy choosing the glasses for the wine when he hears the front door open, he doesn't know why but he decides to wait in the kitchen and surprise you when you walk in.
"Thank you," you mutter to someone, he guesses it's the doorman who helps you with your things, "And thank you for the ride home."
Oh? You can't possibly be thanking your chauffeur, right? Since when they walk you to the door of your apartment though.
"Want to come in?
"No, that's okay. You must be tired. You should get in and get some rest," the other person says.
Felix can't really see who it is but he heard this voice before. Getting curious, he walks to the foyer and keeps himself hidden behind the wall, he peeks just enough to see who you're talking to.
"What about you? You took care of everything the whole weekend and now you gave me a lift home. Must be tiring."
"Well, it's your birthday and it's the least I can do for you."
It's when he steps into the light Felix can see who it is, he stands there watching the whole interaction with jealousy in his eyes.
"I had a wonderful time. Thank you so much," you tell him.
"I'm glad you liked it and you're very welcome," Seungmin says, he then places his hand on your cheek and gives it a gentle caress.
"Don't think about it too much and just rest."
You smile as he takes your hand in his, "I'll try."
"Have a lot of rest," Seungmin says.
You nod, "Once again, thank you for everything."
"Get in and get some rest, okay? Goodnight," he says.
"Goodnight," you say back, then lean in to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
You watch him leave through the door and close it after, turning around to walk further inside to find Felix there, standing behind the kitchen island with a scowl on his angelic face.
You drop your purse onto the sofa and walk up to him, "Why are you here?"
"Are you getting back together?" Felix asks with his jaws clenched.
"I told you not to question me about it again," you calmly say, crossing your arms together in front of you.
He wants an answer but you're giving him nothing but acting like you didn't just play with his feelings, saying that you broke the engagement but now he found you doing the complete opposite.
Are you getting back together with him?" Felix accidentally raises his voice at you.
Despite him losing it right in front of you, you remain calm and do that thing where you massage your temple with your fingers which means that you're upset, or worse, stressed about something.
"You know what, Felix," You pause to exhale air and then intensely look at him, "Why is it important for you to know?"
Felix may have overstepped but now that he's done it, he may as well jump with both feet.
"Because I like you," he simply answers and since a part of it is already out, he may as well let everything out.
"You may think because it was once my job but it's not. I care about you, I think about you all the time, I worry whether you have eaten or not because when you're busy, you always forget to eat. I know everything about you, what you like, what you don't like and things in between you can tolerate. You know so little about me and that's fine, but you should know that I like you," he runs out of breath at the end of the sentence.
Instead of piling in on those words, he lets them hang in the air and eventually make their way to you, and perhaps, you get what he meant by what he said.
"I like you and you should've known that by now," He says to you, his eyes intensely staring into your eyes with either disappointment or affection, or a mix of both.
You stay quiet despite all these words he said to you, revealing what has infected his chest other than his feelings for you, there is jealousy and resentment, making a nest in the pit of his heart.
"And you know what I've only realized just now?" He pauses to let out a chuckle in disbelief, "I love you."
This is not how Felix imagined himself saying those three words for you but there he is, emptying his heart into words and hoping that you'll return it. He waits and waits, but all he hears is nothing.
"I don't— I don't know why I even tried," he mutters to himself with a dry chuckle.
Felix grabs his things and walks out of the door, and since the love is not returned, he leaves with a gaping hole in his heart and things couldn't be worse than this.
-
What's a better way to forget his misery than burying himself in work? He's been doing that for a week now and it works alright, well, until he comes home and is left alone with this thought again.
Tonight, he has a baseball game to cover. He could have watched the game through the live broadcast but he wants to get away from the office, not giving a chance for him to meet you or be anywhere close to you.
Being in the crowd is where he needs to be, the loud cheers help him to drown out his thoughts so he can focus on watching the game.
He jots down the important points of the game and when it ends, he hurriedly joins the other journalists to the press room to get a chance to ask the players about today's game.
As he waits with the other journalists in the room, he checks his work emails, replying to the urgent ones. He's aggressively typing on his phone when suddenly someone stops next to his chair.
He looks up to see if it's someone he knows and it is, but the one he expects to meet.
"I think I know you," Seungmin says, looking dapper in his navy blue suit and striped silk tie.
Who dressed like that to a baseball game though? Then it hits him that the home team is the one he owned and it happens that he also owned the stadium. He is in the enemy's territory here. Fuck!
"I see you're a journalist now," he says with a delighted smile.
Felix awkwardly gets up from his chair because it seems rude to keep talking to him in his seat while Seungmin is standing.
"Yes. I am," he says with a courteous smile while thinking of something to say to him.
"Congratulations on the win!" He sincerely congratulates him because his home team won the game tonight.
"What did you think of the game?" Seungmin asks, genuinely curious about his opinions whether as a sports journalist or acquaintances.
"Excellent!" He shortly replies,
"I enjoyed the game from start to finish," he immediately adds after realizing that Seungmin may mistake his eagerness for sucking up to him.
Seungmin nods and smiles so are the other two people who he assumes to be his entourage and that's what he believes is sucking up to him.
Someone appears on the podium to announce that the representative players are going to come out soon.
"Guess I have to let you do your job," Seungmin says, offering his hand for a handshake, "I can't wait to read your review of the game."
Felix shakes his hand and smiles, having nothing to say to his kind face because he expects the opposite from him, he wants Seungmin to be mean or says something coarse to him so he can hate him more. But no, Seungmin has to be a decent man and makes Felix the bad guy here.
-
Well, it's his fault for wanting more work and now, he has to work on the weekends too.
Felix usually hates going to prestigious events but he's attending with Mr. Kang since his wife is going out of the town for a seminar so he ended up inviting Felix as his plus one. He gladly accepted the invitation because Mr. Kang will likely introduce him to some of his friends which he can safely assume consists of acclaimed writers and journalists.
More importantly, Felix needs the distraction.
It's been a month now and he's still got nothing from you, it seems like what he said to you that night leaves no impression on you, as if those words were... nothing.
It has been a month and it haunts him still, how those words trailing behind him, unanswered.
Whenever the thought of you appears in his head, he'll swallow the bitter aftertaste that comes with it and move on with his day.
"You're dressed impeccably for the occasion, Felix," Mr. Kang says once they meet just outside the building where the event is being held, "But something about you doesn't play the part here."
It must be his mood, Felix just can't hide the fact that he's not that enthusiastic to be here. It would be unfair to Mr. Kang if he came just to ruin the night so he reminds himself to, at least, enjoy the company he's with.
"I'm just nervous, I guess," he lies, adding a sheepish smile to assure him.
"Oh, yes, I hope there's nothing else other than the nerves," he says, hinting that he's still concerned, "What about we start with a drink, eh? For the nerves?"
Felix smiles again and nods, "Lead the way, sir!"
The night gradually gets better with every person he meets and is introduced to, and every drink he takes to help him loosen up. At least that's something he can enjoy here, free drinks.
Call it a hunch but Felix knows that something will eventually ruin his night and it's walking up the stage right now to give a speech. His enemy but doesn't feel like an enemy to him, Kim Seungmin.
"Apparently, he donated a million to the sports foundation," Mr. Kang whispers, applauding for him with the rest of the people in the room.
It shouldn't offend him in any way, Felix doesn't have a million to donate to start with but every time he hears anything Kim Seungmin does, he hates it.
"The chief is also here," Mr. Kang delightfully gasps, pointing at you who stands not far from the podium where Seungmin is giving his speech.
Felix hates it more when he finds you there cheering for him with a big smile on your face.
"Let's greet her. Come on!" Mr. Kang drags him to join him walking up to you to say hi.
His heart is pitter-patting inside his chest, it's not excitement, not fear either, it's from not knowing what your reaction would be when you see or is he going to hate knowing that you don't care at all?
"How delightful to meet you here!" Mr. Kang gasps as he places his hand on your elbow.
"Oh, Mr. Kang, you're here and you're with..." your words trail off as you set your eyes on him, "... with your protégé."
Mr. Kang laughs at that and Felix should be honored to hear that he's unofficially his protégé but he's holding himself back from vomiting words at you.
"Yes, my wife is going out of town so I had the pleasure to take Felix instead," he says, glancing at Felix.
Felix gulps air and tries to remain calm, but he can't stand seeing you looking alright and acting like that night didn't bother you as much as it does to him.
"Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom," He turns around and leaves. He knows it's rude but he just can't stand it having to face you and his feelings altogether.
Instead of the restroom, he makes a turn to the bar and orders more drinks for himself, trying to drown his sorrow in alcohol. The bitter aftertaste of it is nothing compared to the realization that the hatred Felix has is not for Seungmin, it's for himself.
The next thing he knows, Felix finds himself following you and the tail of your black dress that sweeps the carpeted floor as you make your way to the restroom. Obviously, he can't go inside so he waits by the hallway, rubbing his eyes as he keeps wanting to close them, mistaking it for drowsiness.
A few minutes later, you come out holding your purse in front of you and before you can even recognize him, he grabs you by the hand and takes you to the end of the hallway.
There's no hint of surprise on your face when you finally see that it's him taking you away from the party. Gosh! He would be lying if he didn't think of kissing you, he wants to so badly.
He licks his lips like it would help him diminish the urge to kiss you and exhale air, not forgetting to slowly let go of his hand around your forearm.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He blurts out when deep down he wants to say how much he missed you.
You dare to look back at him as you lean against the wall, "What do you want me to say?" You calmly ask back.
Honestly, he wants you to say those three words back to him but that's just something he can't force out of you, but he will be fine if you only sigh in response to it, anything would do.
Anything is better than this suffocating silence.
"Do I really mean nothing to you?" He tries not to sound hopeless as he says it but failed.
"I think you're drunk," you state a fact instead of giving him the answer he seeks.
Felix is aware that he can't get what he wants by pressuring you so he tries another way. He takes your hands and holds them in his, leaning in close until his forehead is pressed against yours.
"I just don't understand... you said you broke the engagement but why are you with him?"
"I told you to trust me and you didn't," you simply answer while holding his gaze.
"How can I trust you when you can't even answer a simple question like that?"
"You didn't even give me a chance to explain," you snap, losing yourself for a moment there.
He pulls away just enough to get a good look at your face, "When did I—"
You cut him off with a sharp remark, "Maybe I was wrong about you."
"Wh–what?" He stutters, sensing the conversation is going off track, "What did you mean by that?"
"It's okay, Felix. You don't have to understand," you mutter, turning your body to leave but Felix is quick to stop you from leaving.
He holds you by the shoulders and pins you against the wall, "Say something, please," he says with an exasperated sigh, "I don't want to give up on you."
From the way your shoulders relaxed, he can see that you're softening around him, you inhale air and look at him again, "Or you can just... give up."
You take her hands and get them off you, slowly, you let them go until they return to his side. With one last look at him, you turn away from him and leave.
Felix's heart sinks deeper the farther you walk away from him and instead of making it better, things only get worse from here.
-
A month later, on a peaceful Monday morning, the news of you acquiring Sports One spreads on the internet and it doesn't take long for everyone in the office knows about it.
There's one question everyone is dying to know why did you bother to acquire it when it's owned by your family? Welp, Felix can only wish these curious people a lot of luck in getting an answer from you. One person though is neither surprised nor curious about it and Felix wonders if he knew about it before anyone else.
"Mr. Kang, you seem to know something we don't know," he playfully says as Mr. Kang is using the computer on the desk across from him.
Mr. Kang doesn't say anything but lowers his glasses on the bridge of his nose and lets out a chuckle, "Well, The Chief always said she wants to own the company."
"Isn't it hers already from the very beginning?" Felix's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. He stops typing and pushes his chair away from his desk, getting a little space to breathe.
"You could say that..." Mr. Kang says without looking away from the computer, then swivels his chair to face him, "But she didn't have the full authority over the company."
"So we're under her control now?"
Mr. Kang bursts out a laugh, he takes off his glasses now and lets them hang around his neck, "Well, we have always been under her control," he states the existing fact there is.
"And you're okay with it?" Felix curiously asks.
"One thing that I know for sure is that she truly cares about the company," Mr. Kang answers without a beat.
"Why do you think she did it though?" Felix says, failing to not sound like he cares too much about it.
Mr. Kang rubs his eyes before putting his glasses back on, he flashes him a thin smile as he riffles through a stack of papers on the desk.
"People put more interest in the reason why she did it but no one says anything about how she did it on her own," he says, pausing to let out a low sigh, "She's going against her family... so I can't imagine how lonely it must be for her."
Despite the amount of information you've shared with him, Felix never really takes the time to sit and think about it. He always thinks highly of you and expects the same out of you he forgot that you're just a human with feelings and thoughts, you have your struggles, the only difference is you hide them too well, you keep them and face them yourself.
And what Felix did? He's too focused on his personal issue with you that he forgot to be the help you needed.
-
Besides the fact that he's tied up with work, Felix couldn't find a way to reach you since you've been absent from work for a few days now. He walks past your office this morning and it seems like you're not coming today too.
He understands that you have a lot of things to do now that you become the sole owner of the company and Mr. Kang is temporarily taking your role in the office to handle everything.
Since he only came to the office for one thing, he stops by his desk to grab his laptop and got ready to leave again to work outside of the office.
"Are you leaving?" His colleague asks from the next desk.
"Yeah, I have an interview at the hockey training," he vaguely answers while carefully placing his laptop inside his backpack.
"You're not coming to the auditorium then," he says, swiveling his chair from side to side.
He then zips his backpack and slings it on one shoulder, "Auditorium? Why?"
"Must be the chief coming with the official announcement," his colleague replies.
"Oh?" Felix stops moving altogether and without thinking, he puts his backpack down on his chair, immediately canceling his plan to leave the office.
To avoid the queue for the elevators, Felix and his colleague are going to the auditorium at the last minute but thankfully, he comes at the right time. He can hear your voice even before he enters and when he is finally inside, he sees you already taking the podium.
Gosh! He misses you so much that his heart leaps at the sight of you. Instead of getting a seat, he decides to stand on the side of the room and crosses his arms together in front of
"... make necessary changes for the better of the company," you pause talking to take a second to look at everyone in the room.
Felix knows you can't see him among hundreds or so people in the room but somehow, your eyes are looking in his direction and he feels seen. You suddenly look away and continue with your announcement.
"And so we've come to the last announcement," you continue, flipping the paper in front of you.
"As I'll be focusing and continuing my work to shape the management of our company, I've decided to step down from my current position as Editor in Chief of Sports One."
The announcement comes as shocking news and is greeted by a collective gasps. Maybe it's coming from the fact that people know you've been doing your job well and you stepped down from the job seems unnecessary, including to him.
"And I'm using this opportunity to announce that Mr. Lewis Kang will be taking my role as editor-in-chief of Sports One effective immediately," you further announce.
The other news comes as another surprise but not as shocking as your exit, everyone seems to be happy to hear about it and begin applauding.
The applause intensifies as Mr. Kang steps onto the stage, Felix joins in applauding him, he couldn't be happier to know that the right person has taken over the job. But he also can't deny that he feels a little sad that you will not be working in the office anymore.
He watches as you and Mr. Kang exchange a handshake and a smile, inaudibly muttering something to each other before taking his turn to speak on the podium.
His eyes follow you after, watching you getting off the stage and talking to your assistant. He so badly wants to talk to you but he knows that what he wants to say to you is personal, and he's at work now.
Felix finished his work as fast as he could, he's riding his bike and pushing the speed to its limits, it's unclear whether you're at home or not but it's worth a try. The concierge lets him in without questions and he's going straight into the elevator, then pushes the button to your floor.
As he stands right in front of the door of your apartment, a lot of things rushing through his head, but ultimately, how are you going to react knowing that it's him knocking on your door? The possibilities include you shut the door right to his face or you don't open the door for him at all.
Now that he has explored those possibilities in his head, he knocks on your door and gives it a few seconds before going for another try.
A moment later, he hears clicking sound from the other side of the door and the door slowly swinging open. From every reaction he pictured in his head, the one he's seeing now is not one of them.
Your eyes are glassy and both of your cheeks are wet with tears, you're crying. This is the first time he sees you crying which makes it a heartbreaking sight for him.
The first thing that gets to him is the urge to comfort you. Without thinking or second-guessing your reaction, he comes up to you and holds you.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asks while holding you tightly.
His question only makes you cry harder into his chest and then hoarsely say, "I have no one."
He gently holds your jaw and tilts your head to make you look at him, "What is it?"
With teary eyes, you look at him and swallow air to calm yourself down, then say, "I have nothing now."
"No, no," he hurriedly denies, holding your face as he stares back into your glossy eyes, "You have me."
Despite your triumph, you get nothing in return but loneliness that haunts you still. His heart breaks into a million knowing that he takes part in what caused you this much sadness.
"You still have me. I'm here for you."
He pulls you closer, holds you tighter, and uses the back of his hand to wipe the tears off your cheeks, offering you everything in him just so he can stop the sadness from taking over you.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," he regretfully says, his heart shaking and aches in his chest.
"I'm sorry," he says again even though he knows how many times he says it won't change the fact that he is partly responsible for this.
You press your hand to your eyes to stop the tears from flowing and then look up at him, "I'm not getting back together with him. He was just helping me with—"
"Shh..." he hushes you, then places his hands on each side of your face, "You don't have to explain. I know."
Everything that happened, especially the bad parts, he's putting it all behind him and takes this as a lesson as he moves forward.
"I love you," he steadfastly mutters and this time, he asks nothing in return, he's saying it for the sake of letting you know that from this moment on, he'll stay by your side.
-
The bedsheets rustle as you squirming on the bed, your hands are interlaced with his and resting on your stomach as his mouth dives into your wetness.
Hearing your moans is like listening to his favorite song, he doesn't want it to stop so he continuously pleases you with his mouth, using his lips and tongue, alternating between sucking and licking to give you the utmost of pleasure.
"Baby oh..." you let out a broken moan as your waist is floating in the air.
He ignores it at first, thinking that you're simply reacting to him sucking on your clit.
"Baby," you whine again with your legs clamping his head in between.
Felix reluctantly lets go and looks up at you with his mouth glistening wet with your essence, checking if you're calling him to say something.
"You can take it slow, baby," You murmur as you slip your hand in his hair, "It's all yours."
It feels embarrassing that you called him out but what can he say? All he thinks about is pleasing you and he wants to do it well. Especially knowing that it's all his now and he can get as much taste as he wants.
He places a soft kiss on your inner thigh and crawls over you, then slowly putting his lips on your lips, ignoring that you can taste your arousal on him.
"How can I stop when you taste so good, mmh?" He mutters, along with a long peck on your lips.
You smile at him and it makes his heart burst, he can't help but try to catch the warmth of your smile with a haste kiss. You tug the hair on the back of his head and gently, pushing his head down.
"You can continue now," you tell him.
Oh, how he misses seeing this side of you that's bossy and confident, always telling him what to do because you know he'll do anything for you like a fool.
Felix is not afraid to say he's indeed a fool for you.
He enjoys pleasing you and he's just as pleased to know you're cumming against his mouth with your legs trembling around his shoulders. He looks up to see your mouth gaping open as a long moan escapes your mouth in one breath.
As you're slowly coming down from your high, Felix hovers above you and carefully lays himself on top of you, covering your face and neck with kisses.
The natural scent of your skin intoxicates him and gives him a sense of comfort that he can't find anywhere but there, in the crook of your neck.
"God! I missed you," He groans into your ear, letting you know how much this longing torment him.
You turn your head and capture his lips in yours, responding to his words with an eager kiss that shows how much you miss him too.
"Did you miss being inside me too?" You ask with a seductive smile.
"Oh, you have no idea!" He honestly answers with his eyes fluttering shut because he can't even picture how much he missed it, it's abundant.
"Why don't you put it in and show me how much you missed it, mmh?"
First of all, you don't have to ask for it and secondly, he'll show you alright. He crashes your lips on yours again, kisses that make you both breathless and dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He gasps for air the second he breaks the kiss.
Felix gives his throbbing cock a few pumps even though he knows how much it wants to be inside you right in this very second, he patiently takes time to tease your entrance, either with his fingers or the tip of his cock, getting you drenched in no time.
You keep arching your back at him, impatient to be filled with his length and at the same time, making him cannot wait another second to be inside you.
He aims his cock to your gushing hole and slowly pushes in, just the tip but it's only making him more impatient to push the rest of his length inside you. But he remains calm, fucking you with just the tip of his cock.
"How does it feel?" He asks you with his hands steadily keeping your legs open for him.
You look at him with innocent eyes that somehow only provoke him more, "I want more, baby."
"You want more?" He asks again with his hand tenderly rubbing your thigh.
"Yes," you innocently answer with a nod.
Since Felix wants more of you too, he gives you more of his length and looks at you again, "How about now?"
"More," you shortly reply.
"More?"
"Please..." you sweetly say, making his insides melt and arousing him at once.
He rushes to give you a kiss then says, "Your wish is my command."
Felix pushes the remaining length into you until he's buried to the hilt inside you. He bites his lips to muffle his grunt of pleasure.
"Oh, baby..." you breathlessly moan with your hands fisting the sheet underneath you as you take his whole length inside you.
He gives your thighs gentle rubs and looks down at you, "Always taking me well," he coos at you.
All of a sudden, you put your legs around his waist and pull him closer, at the same time, sending him launches deeper inside you.
You hold his chin as you place a soft kiss on his lips, "Make love to me."
You kiss him again, longer and tenderly, "Gently," you add.
Like he said, your wish is a command to him. Felix starts moving, thrusting into you at a painstakingly slow yet steady pace. His lips always latch on you, your lips, your neck, your chest, just anywhere where he can land a kiss on your soft skin.
For once, Felix doesn't want to make sex more than just a physical pursuit, he wants to make love to you like you wanted, showing you how much he loves you, cares for you, and how you'll always come first to him above everything else.
"You always feel good around me," he praises as you closes your eyes, overwhelmed with pleasure under him.
Unable to speak, you pull his head close so you can kiss him and for the rest of the night, letting him take control.
He presses his mouth to your ear and whispers, "Oh, you keep clenching around me, baby."
Your chest is heaving and your breathing is ragged, the moans spilled out of your mouth are incoherent and breathless. He knows he's doing well at getting you closer to your release so he keeps the pace and restlessly thrusts into you.
"So beautiful moaning for me like that," he coos, attentively brushing the hair out of your face.
Without stopping, he thrusts into you and lowers himself onto you to give you the closeness you seek. He kisses you and maintains eye contact with you as he once again speaks out his heart.
"I love you so much," he tells you.
From the way you keep clenching and your walls pulsating around him, he knows you're on the brink of climaxing. He kisses you hard and deep, before propping his hands against the mattress to give him the leverage he needs to keep thrusting.
"Close, mmh?"
You nod in response with your eyes fluttering shut and your hands gripping his shoulders.
"It's okay. You can let go," he tells you while picking up the pace of his thrusting.
Your moans turn into breathless cries, or that's what he think you're doing, just overwhelmed with pleasure that fills your body.
It takes a few more thrusts to get you to your release and Felix slows himself down, giving you time to relish yourself from the waves of pleasure washes over you. As he lowers his lips on you again, he finds you crying again.
Panic, he hurriedly holds you close, pulling the duvet to cover both of your bodies just in case the cold bothers you.
"Are you hurt?" His voice is heavy with concern, he's putting your hand away from your face so he can see you.
"Did I hurt you, baby?" He asks again with his hand checking every part of your body.
You shake your head with your eyes screwed shut and tears rolling down the side of your face, seeping into the pillow. It's a relief to know that he doesn't cause it but he's panicking still for not knowing why you suddenly cry.
"Don't cry, please?" He begs as he gently wipes your tears with his knuckles.
He hastily kisses you even though he can taste your tears and holds you tight, patiently waiting for you to calm down so you can tell him what made you cry this time.
"Felix," you croak as you brush your tears away with your palm.
He cradles the side of your head and looks at you with such loving, "Yes?"
You put your hand around his neck and hold his gaze, "Thank you for being here with me."
He catches your hand and kisses your knuckle, "I'll always be here for you," he assures you.
You exhale air and lick your lips before talking again, "And I know I'm late to say this but... I love you too."
To say that he's happy is an understatement, he's ecstatic, over the moon to hear you finally say those words back to him. His heart inflates and overflows with warm feelings, it would be a lie if you couldn't see hearts in his eyes as he looks at you.
"I love you so much," you say with a hand placed on his cheek and a smile on your face, making his dream come true all over again.
Knowing that his feelings are being reciprocated and Felix must say, things couldn't get any better than this.
-
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bandgie · 11 months
Text
After Everything
virgin!hueningkai x fem!reader
part 1 here | part 2 here
synopsis: You thought coming to terms with how you feel about Kai was going to be the hardest. But how he feels about you is a whole other animal itself.
warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, PIV, no protection (bad), loss of virginity (m!), handjob, nipple play (f!), over stimulation (m!), cock warming (if you squint), slight mentions of pregnancy, emotions, insecurities, kinda angsty, possessive reader, happy ending, idk man
5.2 words (fuck im sorry)
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If there was one thing you could count on Yeonjun for, it was his stubbornness. Ever since the little show you and Kai put on for him, he's been consistent in asking for a part two. 
Yeonjun caught you in the cafeteria on campus. He’s wearing a flowy white button-down, sharp clavicle and lean arms on show. It would’ve been truly delightful to see him like this, but you just can't muster the ability to be attracted to him.
"Just one more time! One more, that's all I ask. You don't even have to fuck me. I'll even pay you..." You tune out Yeonjun's begging. It's a little difficult considering he's sitting right next to you, not letting you get a bite of your overcooked pizza in. But there's so many thoughts swirling in your head that it's not possible to pay attention anyway.
You’d done something you promised yourself you'd never do with Kai.
You went to his dorm.
Consistently.
Going to someone's place gives you an insight of who they are. He had a nice roommate, a decent space, and privacy. You told yourself it was convenient to have fun at a house rather than finding a secluded area. 
Wanting that alone time meant something. You didn't want to tease him like this anymore, you didn't want someone to see how he could fall apart at the mere feel of your lips.
He was yours to tease, to touch. No one else should have the privilege of getting a taste of that, no matter how they beg.
"Are you even listening to me?" Yeonjun accuses. 
It takes a couple of blinks for you to focus your attention on him. "If I said no, would you stop bothering me?" He laughs and crosses his legs, "Nope."
You sigh, giving up on your half eaten dinner. Yeonjun is quick to catch your annoyed expression, deciding to take another route.
"You like him huh?"
You turn your head to make eye contact, "Like who?" Yeonjun gives you a sly smile and shrugs, "You know who. I don't know why you're playing dumb."
"I'm not playing dumb," you say defensively. "You're the dumb one." 
Yeonjun chuckles at your little outburst. "No you are. You're blowing me off for Kai. Blowing me off, I'm almost offended. Like, I know you've been distant, but it's not the 'I found someone better and I don't need you anymore' distant. It's the 'I'm head over heels for someone like a loyal dog' kinda distant."
"I'm not a dog!" You yell. A few nearby people look at you weirdly, but you shake them off.
"So you're loyal then," Yeonjun muses. He shrugs again and leans back when you don't say anything. "It's written all over your face babes. Puppy love. With Huening Kai no less, who would've thought. The very same boy you used to slap around, give swirlies in the toilet back in middle school, who you made eat my cum, may I remind you."
You wince at the memories, guilt eating at you from the distant past. You excused your actions by youthful stupidity, by the irrational joy you got when seeing his tears. Even now, you like tasting them. But hurting him isn't how you want to continue. 
"Kai doesn't mean shit," you lie. It's so obvious though. You wouldn't believe it yourself. Yeonjun only makes you feel worse when he keeps smiling like an idiot. 
"Oh, he doesn't mean shit?" He questions. 
You meekly nod.
"Then it shouldn't matter that he's out with some girl then right?"
You sit up straighter and look wide-eyed at Yeonjun, "What?"
Yeonjun picks at his teeth like he's bored, but he has the most amused expression. "Just came back from a bar with Soobin before I saw you. Saw Kai and some chick there, she was chatting him up. Not that it matters though right?"
There's no time wasted when you grab your things. Your bag aggressively slings on your shoulder, almost hitting Yeonjun in the face. "What bar?"
"I thought you said he didn't mean shit?" He teases.
"For fucks sake Yeonjun what bar!" 
Yeonjun glances uneasily at the onlookers giving you dirty looks, but you couldn't care less. You can feel your heart pounding in your ears, the tightening in your chest. You think you might cry out of frustration if he keeps playing with you.
"I'll only tell you if you promise-"
"Yes!" You rise to your feet, seething. "You wanna see me get fucked? Done. Just tell me what bar."
-
Beomgyu's Bar is for college students only. The sun has barely begun to set, so there's not many people in the building. It doesn't take long to spot Kai's black hair peeking from one of the booths. He's with the same girl from the library you recognize. She obviously did her hair nicely, as if she wanted to impress him.
As if it was a date.
Anger boils in you, but you can't will yourself to move. Now that you're actually here, you don't know what to do. Should you go over there and make your presence known? Steal Kai away like last time? Should you just watch and see how things unfold?
That feeling of helplessness settles in your chest, and you feel the unfamiliar sting of tears in your eyes.
This was a dumb idea. You have no right being here, concerned about who Kai’s with. Not after how you've treated him, how you've talked down to him. Still, you can't stop staring at him from across the room.
Kai must feel your gaze because his head turns from the girl he's talking with to you instead. He recognizes you immediately even under the strobing lights. Your eyes widen at the attention, and you scramble for the exit. 
He jumps to his feet to follow you instantly, ignoring how his companion tries  to pull him back down by the sleeve.
"Where are you going?" She asks. "Do you wanna leave? We can go back to my place and-"
"I'm so sorry Anitta but I really need to do something," Kai doesn't even look her in the eyes. He focuses on freeing himself from her grip.
"Now? It can't wait?"
"No," He deadpans. "Can you please let go?"
"But Hyuka-"
"Don't call me that!" Kai surprises himself with the outburst. Not many people call him that nickname, only you've been consistent with the title since elementary. Strangely, it just sounds wrong when someone else says it. 
The sternness in his voice makes Anitta loosen her grip just enough for Kai to run away. There's no protesting as Kai runs out of the bar, his goal set on finding you.
You left merely a minute ago, you shouldn't have gone far. Kai spots you in the parking lot, looking in your bag for your keys. He doesn't know why you were there, or what to say, but what he does know is that he needs to be with you.
Within a few long strides, Kai reaches you. 
He doesn't need to say anything for you to know he's there, you can feel the warmth of his body behind you. With shaky breaths, you slowly turn to face him. You try to discreetly wipe your tears before you fully face him, sniffing. 
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" You hate yourself for being snarky, but what else are you supposed to do? Fall to your knees and ask for forgiveness? Tell him that you can actually be a decent human being despite the decade of torture?
Kai doesn't let your sarcastic words get to him - he’s used to them. Still, you can see a twinge of pain in his eyes. "You know that's not true," His voice is barely above a whisper. As if he might scare you away if he talks too loudly. 
"Isn't it?" Your voice rises. You don’t share his concern for volume. "At a bar of all places! So what,you get a taste of pussy and think you can get it all?"
Kai looks like his eyes might bulge from their sockets at your crudeness. He shakes his head feverishly, "No! It's nothing like that. She offered to go out-"
You put your hand up, silencing him. "I don't wanna hear it. It's better to have a slut like me to learn how to fuck than go with a good girl. I made it really easy for you didn't I? Here I was, thinking I was being too much of a bitch to you when really-"
"Stop!" Kai finally raises his voice. Your voice dies in your throat. Never has Kai commanded, let alone yelled, at you. There's a certain determination in his eyes that you've never seen before. It makes your heart speed, your legs tremble.
"Stop calling yourself that," Kai speaks softer this time. "Calling yourself...names. I never even thought those things about you. Ever. I mean, I do think about you, but not like that."
Despite being angry a second ago, your chest flutters at his confession. "...You think about me?"
As if realizing what he said, Kai blushes. It takes a moment before he nods, eyes finding the asphalt beneath his feet. "Yes. A lot actually."
You're still hesitant about it though, "Because I'm a bitch to you?"
Kai's head snaps up and he shakes it again, "No! Not at all..." He trails off for a moment, as if reconsidering what he said. The pause makes your heart clench. You should have known. Years of bullying would always stick no matter how much you sucked his dick.
"Well, you are...mean to me," he confirms. "But it's more than that. I kind of want you to do that to me. It's weird, and I honestly think there's something wrong with me. I just wanna be your dog sometimes."
Now it's your eyes that widen, a small laugh escaping into the air. 
Since being with Kai more, you've caught on that he tends to say outlandish things. You would pretend that it was stupid and make fun of him for it, but you've always thought it was cute. 
"Sorry," he gives you a sideways smile. "But it's true. Whether you treat me like a cat or a dog, I just wanna be with you. Yes, you gave me a hard time growing up. And yes...a part of me is still scared of the next thing you'll have me do."
You open your mouth to reassure him that it won't happen again, but he beats you to it.
"But I'd do it. I'd do it again even if it meant brushing my teeth for hours. If it meant having to buy new underwear all the time because of the stains. None of it matters to me except you."
"Hyuka..." You can taste your tears on your lips. You don't deserve this, him. Yet here he is, using his shaky hands to wipe your tears.
"I'm serious. If you don't want me to see her again I won't. Just tell me what to do-"
"No," you choke back on your sobs. "Hyuka how can you still want me after everything I've done to you? I'm a horrible person. I've made you do horrible things. I've treated you horribly. Even now, I ruined your date and made it all about me."
Kai's warm touch is soothing to your wrecked state. You can hear cars pulling up and people walking. If they're watching you and Kai, he must not care to notice. His gentle grasp on you stays, his eyes never leaving yours. 
"You're not a horrible person, and you didn't ruin anything. I've been trying to find an excuse to leave anyway. You saved me if anything," Kai admits. 
Your hands clasp over his, your thumb stroking the back of his hand. You both stand in silence, letting your breathing even out. Kai is patient as ever, softly humming under his breath.
That's another habit you've picked up on. You can sometimes hear him sing in the shower, when he's choosing a movie to put on for background noise.
"Oh wow," Kai sounds in awe. You blink a few times to see him looking up, and you mimic his movement. The sun has nearly fully settled, giving the sky a beautiful blue hue.
"It's the blue hour," he says mindlessly. "Isn't it beautiful?."
Your gaze settles on Kai's features. His strong jawline, the little bump in his nose, his full bottom lip. "Yeah," you agree, eyes fixed to his face. "It is."
"Hyuka," you call him after a second. His eyes move away from the sight, but the look of awe never leaves as he looks at you. "I'm sorry." You can feel your tears build up again. "I know it's not enough, and I don't think there's anything I can do to make up for what I did. But I'm so sorry. I wish I could blame it on the fact that I was stupid, that I was drunk. But I can't, and I won't. I'm selfish, I'm mean, I'm messed up. There must be something wrong with me too because I still want you after everything."
"There's nothing wrong with you," he whispers. Kai tenderly kisses your tears away, licking his lips. "Or maybe there is, we can be messed up together."
You giggle at him, playfully smacking his chest. "That's such a loser thing to say."
Kai laughs with you, pearly whites glistening in the setting sun, "I was hoping you'd think I was a lover."
You shake your head, still keeping the smile on your face. "So now what?" You question. "Do we kiss or something?"
Kai only shrugs, "I'll do whatever you want to do."
"We should go back to my place," you reason quickly. "It's getting cold out here."
-
His lips are on yours the second you closed the door to your apartment. Kissing Kai is nothing like anything you've experienced before. He’s shaky, messy, uncoordinated, and you love every second of it. You wonder why you never kissed him before. 
You lead him towards your room, both of you tripping and slipping off your shoes. Hushed giggles filled the air as you finally opened your bedroom door.
It’s then that Kai decides to have some decency, "You don't have roommates?"
His lips are swollen and flushed from kissing. Your eyes catch how his hair points in all directions from the previous makeout session in the car. 
You roll your eyes and slam your door closed loudly. "What about it? Take off your pants and get on the bed."
Kai is quick to listen to your directions, fumbling with his belt as you lead him to the bed. 
His hands tremble from anxiousness, struggling to unclasp himself. You take pity on him and sit him on the edge of the bed, falling to your knees. 
"You don't need to rush, Hyuka," you soothingly tell him. Your hands run up and down his thighs, trying to get them to relax. "We can take things slow. Plus I've already seen your dick. A little too late to be shy about showing me that, hm?"
Kai gives you an apologetic smile and nods, "Yeah sorry." You hear him take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Once he's calmed down enough he looks down at you and nods again, a sign to keep going. 
Carefully, you remove his belt and toss it on the ground. You maintain eye contact when you unbutton the top of his pants, moving down to lower his zipper. Kai keeps his eyes trained on yours, a habit you had taught him whenever you gave him head. 
He lifts his hips upwards so you can pool his pants around his ankles. You eye the tent in his boxers, licking your bottom lip. 
"This all for me?" You tease, using your hands to play with his waistband. When he doesn't answer, you pull back on the elastic on his underwear and let it go. The snap sound echoes in your room, and Kai jolts from the slight stinging sensation. 
"Yes! Yes it's all for you." His voice is whiny, eager to be pleased. 
Maybe you should go easier on him, you had a heart to heart with him less than an hour ago. Still, a part of you feels like you've been going too easy on him in the bedroom. Here he is, expecting pleasure from you the moment you bring him to your place. 
You've made Kai quite the whore. 
This is his first time fucking, and that knowledge alone makes you back off from your usual antics. With a smile on your face, you shimmer his boxers off. You can see his ears turn red when you coo at the sight of his hard cock. 
"It's so hard. I can't believe it's like this when I haven't even touched you. Thought you'd get tired of me." You speak mindlessly. 
"I always get like this when I think of you," Kai confesses in a small voice. Your chest blooms with butterflies, returning his blush. "And I'd never get tired of you," he quickly adds. "Never."
To show your gratitude for his words, you grasp his cock in one hand while you place your other hand on his thigh. You stroke him gently, moving to engulf his tip in skin before dragging it down. Kai hums gratefully and grips the sheets. 
It doesn't take long to hear the slick from his pre-cum. Your whole body starts following his strokes as if you're riding him.  Saliva starts to pool in your mouth from watching your hand get all the attention. Still, the emptiness in your throat isn't enough to stop. You love seeing his face twist in pleasure, the way his neck looks when his head is thrown back. 
Unconsciously, you begin to bounce on air. You pussy clenches around nothing, dripping with arousal. You're neglecting yourself from what you crave, what you need. It's been a long time since your pussy has been stuffed. Excluding Kai's tongue and your fingers, there hasn't been much action going on. You couldn't picture yourself sleeping with anyone so long as you were seeing Kai.
Now you’ve been given his dick on a platter, his tip an angry red with bulging veins. Experimentally, you bring your hand upwards to rub the head of his cock. Kai writhes in overstimulation, his hips jerking backwards to escape your touch. 
You hum, understanding. "Sensitive huh? You think you can take my pussy next?"
There's a little spark of panic in his eyes, but determination overpowers it. "I can take it." Kai fidgets with the blankets nervously, "I dunno if I'll be any good."
You take your hand off his length and rise to your feet. "You don't need to be good, Hyuka. Just lie there like a good boy and I'll do all the work." Your fingers grasp the hem on your shirt and you lift the material over your head. 
Kai has seen your boobs before. You've let him place his dick between them and use it like a fleshlight. He never gets bored of the sight though, and his dick jumps again in excitement. 
You throw the blouse in the same direction of his belt. Teasingly, you cup yourself and massage your breasts. "Your turn."
Kai hesitates in taking off his shirt, but seeing you playing with your tits encourages him to do so. He doesn't try to think about how you're staring at him as he tucks his arms in the holes and lifts the shirt over his head. 
To praise him, you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra. 
You take a few steps closer to Kai so his face is in your chest. He looks up at you as you place a nipple in his mouth, needing some type of stimulation. He obeys, sticking his tongue out to taste your skin. 
His lips suck on your bud, moving his hands to wrap around your bare torso. 
Kai's tongue flicks against your nipple, making you moan. He switches from one boob to the next, unsure of which one to pay attention to. Kai settles for taking his time on each one. 
He notes how you whine when he sucks harshly, how you arch your back further into him when he captures your nipples between his teeth. Kai watches as your skin turns purple from his bruising, a sense of pride swelling in his chest. 
Your legs begin to tremble from the feeling. You keep a grasp on the back of his head to keep him close. The desire between your legs grows stronger. Your patience wears thin as you start undoing your jeans. 
Kai backs away to let you get fully undressed. He kicks his pants off from his ankles and helps you shimmy out of your underwear. 
Both of you are completely nude, exposed. It's a whole new sense of vulnerability. Before, clothes were a way to establish power. You would keep Kai either mostly clothed or naked from down under. It gave you a sense of superiority over him, but that's the last thing, if at all, that you want to feel from him now. 
Instead, you want to feel his body on yours. His hot skin kissing your own. You might always want to take charge in the bedroom, but you don't think you could ever look down on him ever again. 
How did you ever do it in the first place?
You place yourself on his lap, pushing him down by his chest to lay him on the bed. His chest rises and falls rapidly, mouth slightly open to catch his breath. You shush quietly, an attempt to calm him down once again. "It's okay, Hyuka. I'm right here."
Some seconds pass before you place yourself above his hips. You hover over him, knees either side of his waist. Your hand reaches down to grab the base of his cock, angling it towards your entrance. Kai's hands are still fisting the sheets, but you tell him that it's okay to grab you instead.
He listens and takes ahold on your hips, sinking into the bed further. 
To let Kai get used to the feeling, you run the tip on his cock over your pussy lips, letting your arousal gather. The warmth of your sexes makes both of you moan. 
"It's so warm," he notices. You giggle and look up at him, "It's even warmer inside."
Rather than looking nervous, Kai smiles back at you expectantly. 
You take that as a green light to take him in. Slowly, you push the head of his dick inside. The crown spreads you slightly, and you have to bite your bottom lip from moaning too loudly. Kai whimpers at the first feel of your pussy, his grip tightening on you for a second. 
You sink on him a few more inches before moving back up, letting your cunt adjust to his size. There's slight pain on your part, but you're so wet that it's far too easy to slide back down. The ache only mixes with the pleasure each time you take him deeper.
Kai seems to appreciate you taking your time. His hips stay on the bed obediently, taking in the feeling of your walls gushing around him. It's not until you sit on him fully, your ass to his thighs, that he cries out. He swears he sees white from the tight pleasure, the way his cock fits snug in you.
Perfect.
With trembling thighs, you let yourself settle on Kai's girth. He's stretching you out fully, and you swear you can feel him deep in your stomach. The depth makes you twitch and squeeze around him, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 
You trail your hands upwards so they rest on his shoulders. "This okay?"
Kai opens his mouth only to moan in response. He's babbling nonsense, but he's nodding rapidly. You can make out a few yes's and a string of curses, making you laugh. Experimentally, you rock your hips on him. The movement makes him whimper, his hands falling further down to grip your ass. 
You set the pace, lifting yourself a few inches up before dropping back down. The feel of his cock dragging inside of you sends shivers down your spine. There's nothing you wish more than to bury yourself deep in his cock, spasming around him. You think you could cum from just squeezing him, but Kai is practically drooling for how you're riding him.
It doesn't take long for the pace to pick up. Especially with how his fingers are digging into the flesh of your ass, itching to pick you up himself just to slam you back down. His hips start thrusting upwards to meet you halfway. 
Your breasts bounce from the force, a series of moans leaving your lips from every thrust. Neither of you care about how loud your thrusts are, skin on skin. If anything, that sound mixed with the wet slapping spurns you on more. Kai picks his head up to watch where you both connect and his dick disappears inside you, imprinting the image into his mind .
The sight alone makes Kia's balls tense. You're so warm, wet, and tight for him that he can feel his release getting closer. Thinking about finishing inside of you is beyond what Kai could have ever wished for. Making you his in any way possible, painting you in his skin in the most vulnerable way. 
It's then that Kai realizes you both have missed a crucial step. 
"Condom!" He chokes out. "C-condom. We didn't...we didn't..." Kai stutters from the power of his orgasm. It hits him so suddenly, his eyes sting from tears. It's embarrassing to cum so quickly, yet how could he not? You just feel too good.
If you heard Kai, you paid no attention to it. Instead, you help him ride out his high. You can feel his cum bury itself deep inside you, hoping to get you pregnant. He came a lot though, as expected from a virgin. Some of it slips out and drips down onto your bed. Not that you mind - it's kind of cute. 
Your hips slow when Kai's moans settle down. He seems to like you rocking on him gently, milking him for every drop. Kai blinks up at you as a few tears fall, making you clench around him.
"I didn't mean to," he sobs. His hands trails up back to your waist as he cries. "I'm s-sorry. I really didn't-"
You shut him up by leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. His cries muffle, but he soon starts kissing you back. Kai presses you closer to him at your taste, finding solace in your touch. You pull away gently, watching how he chases after your lips blindly.
"There's nothing to be sorry about Hyuka," you console. Your hands trail up and down his chest lovingly. "I wanted you to, I liked it."
"Y-You did?" he sniffs.
Nodding, you tell him, "I did. So you don't have to feel bad. We can take care of it in the morning." Kai nods at you, though his eyes still look unsure. 
You decide that you won't have the opportunity to cum tonight, lifting yourself off him. 
Kai's touch surprises you when he keeps you still on his softening cock. "But...you didn't..." He looks up at you shyly, pressing his cock deeper to get his point across. 
You mewl at the feeling, tensing for a moment. "It's okay. We don't have to, I know you're tired."
Despite his sleepy eyes, Kai shakes his head. "I'm not. Use me. I can still be good for you."
Kai gently thrusts his hips upwards, not as deep but still enough to make a whole new warmth of gush leave your pussy. There's no way in hell you can deny yourself from pleasure any longer. Even if his dick isn't as hard, you can still use him, like he offered.
Kai hisses from how feverishly you begin to bounce on his cock. He's still so sensitive, but your need to cum outweighs the care for his own pain. He needs to see how you cum around his dick. Even if you rub him raw, fuck him for hours on end, the feeling of your cunt dripping with your cum around him is all he can think about.
Tears once again prick his eyes, and your hips rock faster upon seeing them. Kai's length is so hot and slippery in you, you can feel your orgasm approaching you quickly. The warmth in your belly builds, chills covering your body.
Still being the obedient boy he is, Kai doesn't stop fucking up into you. Not even when the tears fall down his cheeks or the moans are tumbling uncontrollably from his lips again. You swear you see his eyes go crossed from the overstimulation, spurring you on further. 
No matter how nice you'll be with Kai, no matter how much love you'll give him, seeing him cry will always be your favorite sight.
The building of heat in your stomach finally bursts, flooding your orgasm on Kai's cock. You twitch and moan when you cum, clenching harshly on Kia's abused dick. Kai rocks his hips against you to ride out your high, mimicking how you did for him.
You steady yourself on his shoulder before collapsing on him chest to chest. Both of you breathe raggedly, sweaty bodies mingling with each other. You both pay no mind, opting to stay still instead. 
Nobody makes a move to pull Kai out of you. Not that you wanted to, it felt rather nice to have him inside. 
Silence falls over you two as you steady your breaths. It's as though the world stopped moving. All you can feel is Kai's embrace as he wraps his arms around you. You snuggle closer to him, planting a brief kiss on his chest.
"How are you feeling?" You ask, lifting your head up to see him.
Kaipeers up at you, looking thoughtful. "I feel...thirsty."
You adjust yourself so that you're supporting yourself on the palm of your hands, preparing to get up. "I can get some water-"
"No. You stay here, I can get it." Kai easily lifts you off his dick, both of you whining at the loss of contact. He sets you beside him and sits up, grabbing his clothes that he hastily puts on. 
He gives you one last look before slipping out of your room. You take this brief time to collect your thoughts, your feelings. 
Or so you try until your phone goes off. You sit up to search for the device on the floor, spotting it near your pants. You crawl off the bed, legs aching from being in one position for so long. Once the phone is in your hand, you climb back in bed and open your notification. 
Yeonjun: i expect my compensation within the next few weeks
You groan, hating yourself for agreeing to his terms. There's no time to think about responding when Kai walks in with two glasses of water and a towel he must've found. 
You shut your phone off and welcome your new lover back in bed. You'll have to worry about your promise to Yeonjun another time.
a/n: and thats a wrap! thank you so much for reading this little series and I hope you enjoyed it! I did *slightly* hint at an epilogue, but we'll see if I actually do it. huge thanks to @then-make-me for editing and revising!! this was defo a chore im sure! thank you so much!
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