#i'm fairly sure i'm bigender

[echidnana]

been a little bit in love with the word bigender lately

[shitpostingkats]

So I'm currently in a YuGiOh weekly game as we progress through the history of the card game (each week we play with the next set and move up through the years). We haven't reached the GX era yet but I was informed that when we do I have to be Jaden Yuki because my name is so similar.

As somebody who only knows GX through reading your posts about it, I'd like you to infodump about Jaden to me so I can be Prepared

First off, gosh that sounds so fun!!!! I hope you and your group have a great time playing through the release history of the TCG. Experts have assured me it's a blast.

Second off, you are absolutely in luck when it comes to playstyle because I'm fairly sure heroes still holds the esteemed title of most cards printed for a single archetype. Options! You could even argue that, to properly channel the spirit of Jaden Yuki, you must be exempt from such paltry things as "extra deck limitations". For true authenticity, consider having a forty card extra deck!

As for personality, I will list several true facts about Jaden Yuki. Feel free to incorporate aspects of this into your playstyle as you see fit

Jaden Yuki:

Does not know what a riceball is

nor what the word "fiance" means

Won a contest to design and illustrate his own ocs and have them printed into the game when he was 8

Spent his entire senior year living in an abandoned building by himself despite multiple people telling him it was probably doing his severe depression and ptsd no favors

Eats forks by accident

Keeps his old science teacher's soul in a jar

Has been to Venice

Cannot pick up social cues to save his life

Shares his brainspace with a bigender dragon demon who's been to space and tried to kill the entire universe (they got better)

Has a cat

And, of course, if you're really looking to embody the spirit of Jaden Yuki, be sure to end every duel with a weird little salute and the phrase "And that's game!"

Godspeed in your GX era!

[transgender-culture]

Blog Info!

This blog is for anyone who isn't cisgender, if you are a demigirl/demiboy or bigender or genderfluid you can still send in asks to this blog <3

Please send in any asks starting with "Trans culture is" or a varition of that (specifics can be included like "transfem culture is" "genderfluid culture is" "disabled trans culture is" "autistic trans culture is")

You can send in questions to but please state that it is a question and I may not be able to answer it myself but I'm sure others may help you <3

"Trans Eggs" are very much welcome on this blog, you can send in asks and ask questions to people and hopefully this blog can help you figure some things out <3

I might be able to post too often since I am in highschool but I will try to keep an active queue and respond to things when I can <3

DNI:

- transphobes obviously

- homophobes

- racists

- ableists

- zionists

- "narc abuse" believers

- anti-pd

- endo systems

About The Admin:

I'm a queer trans boy in highschool

You can call me Alex or Bunny

I use he/it/star/bun pronouns :3

I have autism and ADHD, I have a special interest in psychology, marble hornets, scene/emo culture and LGBT history

I have symptoms of BPD and NPD and have fairly low empathy so I'm sorry if I'm not good at helping with certain things

[tisthegender]

Hey all!! Sorry for disappearing there for a WHILE. I've been doing great, I just didn't want to be on social media as much. And I was fairly certain that this entire blog and that year and a half or two years of gender questioning was just OCD (which I still think was a big part of it, but regardless...), so I've just been content with cis for a while, and therefore felt like this blog was a complete lie (hence why some posts were deleted, oops).

HOWEVER I've recently looked more into the bigender identity and came to the lovely realization that I never have to give up being a woman to also be a guy. It's more static than genderfluid, but I still feel like some part of the non-woman aspect of it is a little fluid, or at least less rigid.

I think there was a little internalized phobia of some sort, or maybe guilt about trying to claim a label without having like severe dysphoria or simply by virtue of the fact that I can still comfortably live as my assigned gender, that was locking away the notion that I CAN BE BOTH. But the sheer fucking euphoria I felt after realizing that both was an option was enough to give me internal permission to have this new understanding of myself.

I'm not quite sure how to end this post, but my pronouns are still she/him <3

[endreal]

Ayyy a fellow dual E & T hrt user! How do you like your set up and do you wanna share what got you there?

Privacy is important please don't feel compled to provide personal information

Sure! I guess in some ways I'm surprised I don't get more questions about this.

I first realised I was Not Cis in...actually probably 2004 but I didn't have language to describe it at the time - all I knew was that David Bowie Pissed Me Off for incomprehensible reasons that had nothing to do with his personality or his music. I just Could Not Look At That Guy without feeling Extremely Complicated Feelings.

Anyway, a lot happened in the end of that decade and I started my first binary transition in the '10s. It actually went pretty stellar, all in all. It's just that...after 3-4 years I realized I wasn't any happier about myself than I was beforehand. It didn't "fit" right, y'know? Anyway after a lot of internal turmoil and some blessed insightful words from @kipplekipple I finally accepted that hey, maybe this whole binary thing isn't for me and I'm agender. Or possibly bigender. Idk. Even more Not Cis than initially assumed.

Anyhow, from there I kicked off some scary-to-me conversations with my Dr. (who, to her credit, was impressively supportive) and got the second course added to my hrt regimen. And after about 2-2.5 years of periodic adjustments and calibrations to my hormones and blood tests (which I've become quite good at sitting the draws, if I do say so myself!), my levels have basically stabilised, which has been great in almost all ways... even tho it does mean that I now experience period-like cycle every 3ish weeks preceding injections. 🤦🏼

A lot of this happened...not exactly under the radar, but I also didn't beat drums and yell about it from the mountaintops. A big part of this is because I had other life shit going on and a still-ongoing global pandemic swept thru everything in a major way, but I also have to acknowledge that part of it is because I had always been fairly open about being queer and trans, and I was afraid (yes, afraid) that my story might get picked up by bad-faith actors as a detransition narrative when in fact it was anything but that. So this is probably the first time I've said all the pieces of this all together and "out loud" even tho I've made plenty of passing mentions about different parts of it over time. So thanks for asking directly!

PS. for what it's worth, I later realised that my Complicated Bowie Feelings were essentially jealousy. I've accepted by now that I'll never be a vaguely luminous avatar of human androgyny (sorry David Bowie. sorry Grace Jones and Annie Lennox. sorry Link Legendofzelda.)... but I still give it my best try, in the ways that I can. :)

[our-queerplatonic-experience]

I honestly don't know how to start this cause I'm awkward lol but basically: my mom thinks my close(ish?) Friend is my "boyfriend"... could not be further from the truth 💀 (also sorry this is a bit long btw i like detail & that is a pain for me to deal with sometimes. This could be catagorized as venty but this is meant to be just a bit of a mind dump)

I'm aromantic asexual (romo+sex repulsed/adverse) & bigender (boy+girl), the um- suspected "boyfriend": she's a lesbian trans woman. This has happened a couple times, ligit were that mean gay & overly nice lesbian meme & somehow A NOTABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THINK WERE DATING 💀 told her like imidiatly over text just to clear anything up like if my moms weird or smth. She was just like "oh shit" & we havnt mentioned it since.

What makes it a bit awkward tho is I DO lowkey have a squish/qp crush on her, on & off, but I know that my attraction tends to fade & waver with time (like- Lithqueerplatonic / Queerplatonicflux I guess). So I wouldn't really want to be in like, a qpr w/ her. That & I've always kinda "worry" that my boy/masc part may make most lesbians uncomfortable being in a qpr with me and vice versa with gay men & my girl/ fem part.

Anyway I just have really intense platonic feelings when I do have them & I wish as a society we were more ok with expressing that ;> RELASHIONSHIP ANARCHY WHEN?? when will ppl be "allowed" to kiss their homies goodnight without it being perceived romantic?? WHEN ;D (I'm also on the aplatonic spectrum, dont have many friends & dont plan on having many. I think too many ppl overwhelm me.)

My ideal QPR would just be like: cuddling/leaning on eachother, time together, nicknames & small gifts of appreciation (inexpensive &/or handmade stuff or food), I find kissing weird as a concept so a no for that personally in general. And like, at this point... thinking out loud idk if I want to do that w/ her specifically or if I just want a qpr? Cause like I'd only feel comfortable even touching ppl I'm fairly if not really close to & she checks that box by being in my short friend list. For reference: I only started regularly hugging & saying I love you to my best friend recently & we've known eachother & been mutually eachothers best friends for a decade. (I used to occasionally question if i had qp feelings for him but I am like VERY sure it's just heavy platonic appreciation. i love him so much hes the brother i never had i fr cannot stress how much i love him hes fr fr the best bro bro not even related to the topic really i just want to say that i love tf out of him hes awsome)

Anyway plz prey/etc that I don't get weirded out by my mom so much that I come out as aroace 💀 (i find even the idea of being in a romantic/sexual relationship repusing & unconfortable to think about. Just not my thing, if that changes fine i just don't anticipate that happening. Also I don't think she's like, a "kick me out" aphobic, just an uneducated 1. I just don't want to deal w/ any of it tbh. I want a clean cut "I am [blank]" statment and for the "conversation" to be over with but I don't expect that ) tldr: wish me luck on this journey of the cringe that is existing ☺

good luck!!!!! existing do be difficult but it will be okay :]

[velvetvexations]

Hi Velvet! Would like to open this ask with a bit of positivity-- I've been having it rough lately, both in the general life department and my personal issues department, and scrolling your blog really helps calm me down and relax <3 I wish good things upon you, your loved ones, and the community you've built here. I'm really sorry for dumping this super long ask into your inbox, but I'm not sure who else would engage with what I have to say here. And on that note, I'm also extremely grateful to you.

I've been thinking a lot lately on all the "tme privilege" discourse that's pretty much overrun this site and wanted to throw in my two cents to the conversation as a bigender person (male + female). Full disclosure that I'm an AFAB perisex individual, and do not identify with the transmasc nor the transfem label. I haven't personally made any original posts on the topic myself, but I'd like to believe I generally have a grasp on where everyone is coming from.

In the broadest sense, I think holding these kinds of charged discussions during a period in which society is experiencing a collective moral panic over trans people has put a lot of us on edge. It's caused us as a community to forget the base truth that ultimately we are trying to navigate our very personal traumas through these discourses, and our priority has shifted from proactively extending compassion and sympathy to each other to defensively antagonizing and segregating ourselves out of hypervigilance. The natural consequence of such hypervigilance on social media platforms is the creation of an environment where opinions and perspectives are constantly being policed. So to a certain extent, I'd posit that the argument is not so much a direct trans intracommunity issue as it is a online socialization phenomena that intersects with trans digital spaces and our current political climate. As a lot of older trans people (by which I mean 30+) have observed, this is a fairly recent trend in trans discourse, and conversation was typically much more open and less hostile even a decade ago.

In the more specific, rhetorical sense, I can't make heads or tails of the logical throughline in any of the most radical arguments. It is just the case that sometimes lived experiences will contradict each other, and sometimes the things that have shaped one person's suffering will have shaped others' in similar but also very different ways-- it's frustrating that no one seems to understand this. Watering down the nuances of reality to these very clear-cut definitions of what makes up specific types of people's experiences is just strange to me. I am supposed to believe I would be TME despite identifying as a woman who also seeks gender-affirming care that would masculinize her bottom parts. I would love to hear what exactly would distinguish me from the specter of the degenerate trans woman in the eyes of society if I start walking around with a cock and boobs at the same time while calling myself a woman and a man simultaneously. I certainly would no longer be treated as a member of the social class of women, and I most definitely would be excluded from the social class of men. And yet by all means this is supposed to fall under the umbrella of transmasc experiences, despite me not claiming transmasculinity in any way shape or form. If I have physically transitioned and I am a woman, and then experience transphobia in ways that interface with my womanhood, how can that not be called transmisogyny? Then do I call myself TMA? But I was born with the sex designation of female! I was socialized as a girl and wouldn't possibly be able to grasp the depth of the trauma that real trans woman go through… It just goes around in circles. This is also honestly why I find myself identifying much more with intersex individuals than I do with binary trans individuals in general but, man, these circlejerks sure do jerk those circles.

I'm always happy to give people a space to talk about things. There's way, way too much hostility going on between people who should be working together. It's always important work to push back against that and to not swallow what you're told you have to accept as reality. You're doing really good at that.

[demonophilia]

dni

minors, or no age listed. this is an instant block. have your age plainly listed either in your bio or pinned post.

raceplay, ageplay (dd/lg, md/lb, or any variation on those), detrans/misgendering, sexism/misogyny, sissy/forcefem, beastiality, incest (including step/adopted/fauxcest) , or orientationplay (ex. 'turning' lesbians. fuck off

proana/promia/thinspo/any kind of ed blogs i have an ed and these blogs are INCREDIBLY triggering for me. do not interact with me. i will block you.

scat, vore, inflation etc. nothing wrong with these but i'll most likely block if theyre a main focus of our blog. if i follow first, this doesnt apply!

any "icky x" shit. generally falls under the ageplay or incest umbrella, but i wanted to make sure i was clear. if i see any variation on those tags on your post, i will block.

chasers please just be normal LMAO

boundaries

do not ask about my private life/ask for my sfw blog. again, this is only if we aren't friends/close. i might post abt it in vague terms and its fine to ask abt minor things (how was your day etc) but dont pry. i am literally a porn blog im on here to get people off LMAO im not that interesting

if i say no or say to stop, stop. this should be obvious. if i say no, i mean no. this includes if im being dominant. if you repeatedly disrespect a boundary ive set, i will block you. if you arent clear on a boundary, ask!

more info under the cut ⬇️

about

hii im connor :] i use it/its, he/him, and she/her pronouns. i'm bisexual + bigender (tme, and i have a cunt), and i'm fine with both feminine and masculine petnames (see petnames section below :]) i'm a vers and a switch, though recently i've been heavily sub leaning. feel free to send me dom-focused asks, i just can't guarantee i'll get to them too quickly!

i love getting asks, especially sexual ones (obviously). just be certain that youre respecting my boundaries! i understand slip-ups, but try your best to "respect" me (obviously disrespect me lmao but yk what i mean). if you'd like to use an emoji for your asks, lmk and i'll tag the answers with that emoji :]

the terms i use for my anatomy are fairly loose, but do not use the term "bonus hole" or any variation to refer to my cunt. boypussy is fine, but i don't really find it very sexy LMAO. also, i call my clit a cock or tdick. it's fine to use clit for it, but i prefer the other 2.

petnames

i looove petnames :] feel free to use any of these (unless i specify otherwise), id honestly prefer you using these over my actual name LMAO.

angel, baby, darling, etc. these aren't sexual, but feel free to use them! i find them cute :]

toy/doll/fucktoy/thing etc. i love being objectified/dehumanized so these are always a good bet LOL

puppy, dog, pet, mutt, kitten, kitty, etc. bonus points for "bad dog" which makes me crazy in my head

good boy/girl/toy etc.

slut/whore/cumdump etc. i love most degrading names, lol. go wild with these, if i don't like one i'll lyk :]

sir/miss. when i am domming, these are generally the titles i prefer. feel free to try others though! (aside from daddy/mommy.)

go wild! the ones above are some of my favorites/the ones that immediately came to mind, but feel free to try other ones :] like i said if i don't like it i'll just lyk, no harm done!

kinks

i should note that i enjoy all my kinks from both directions, whether im dom or sub :] due to my frequently subby nature some of these descriptions are worded in terms of Me being the sub but i love them when im domming also basically.

praise i adoree being praised... generally i prefer it mixed in with degradation ^_^ tell me if im doing a good job, making you happy, etc! i also love praise when im domming please lmk if youre enjoying yourself i like knowing im getting people off :]

degradation another favorite ^_^ as ive mentioned, i love being dehumanized and sexualized. call me stupid, useless, etc. aside from words, i do enjoy being made to do degrading tasks <3 Also idk where to put this but i lovee spit spit in my mouth spit on me Whatever

painplay hitting, slapping, choking, biting etc are some of my favorites. i also enjoy knifeplay and gunplay. anything that will leave bruises/marks will make me wet <3

somno/intox i enjoy both of these, but i am very picky about them, and i'd probably won't talk about them a lot because of how picky i am.

monsterfucking vampires werewolves angels demons tentacles etc etc etc i go crazy for them . i do want to do unspeakable things to a service top werewolf this is true.

petplay i should note that i'm fairly picky about petplay as well! i mainly prefer the petnames, collars/leashes, etc. i don't enjoy anything about cages or being made to bark (though i don't mind phrases like "puppies don't talk" and stuff like that)

bondage, gags, handcuffs etc. pleasee tie me up and tell me what you'd do to me <3 i have an oral fixation so any use of my mouth is very appreciated <3

breeding I LOOOOOVE BREEDING im crazy abt it. if you threaten to knock me up i Will beg for it lol. i don't really care abt any actual pregnancy details, aside from future hypotheticals (youre gonna be so big, im gonna fuck another baby into you after, etc)

exhibitionism/voyeurism if i didnt get off on ppl looking at me i wouldnt have made this blog love and light .

this list is nonexhaustive! i like a lot of kinks, so feel free to bring up any you think i'd like, so long as they aren't on my dni or anything. worst case scenario i just won't like them and i'll lyk LOL.

MISC

mutuals feel free to dm me if you'd like ;] i tend not to initiate bc i have a hard time telling when its normal to reach out LOL, so if you want to talk to me, please do! everyone else can talk to me through the ask box!! once again, Please sexualize me (why would i make this blog if i didnt wanna be sexualized lmao) but respect my boundaries <3

related to above, but if you get off to my posts/thinking of me, id love to know :] i loveee getting ppl off so <3 and if im feeling dommy i might tease you abt it LOL

i do my best to tag specific kinks for navigation (and to tag hard kinks with tw (kink)) but i might slip up/forget! if you notice an issue with the tags, feel free to lmk and ill get that fixed :]

also i should note i am bisexual bigender, so im fine being rbed with both wlw/nb and mlm/nb tags ! lmk if youre uncomfortable with me interacting with yr content in any way 👍

ty for reading this whole long thing :D i tend to ramble a lot lol... i don't rly have anything to give you for reading it all buttttt feel free 2 like if youve read all this also youre my favorite and you can do whatever you want to me (joke (or is it!?))

[bugshine-and-raincloud]

I was going to make a post about this on Instagram, but I realized I literally started using Tumblr so I can infodump without a character limit but I don't think I have... So, I should post it here!... So I can be detailed without running out of space and having to delete paragraphs and paraphrase (I have to do that so much on Instagram 😞)...

Okay, so, one of my big headcanons from FNAF Security Breach is that Roxy is Transfem... That she's actually Trans Foxy... I actually stole this headcanon from Bug lol...

I was thinking about it a bit ago, and realized it genuinely makes sense?... Like, we headcanon that she's Trans Foxy since Foxy is pretty much completely absent from the game (as far as we're aware)... There's no direct mention of him, just a few art pieces depicting him + his area next to Monty's Golf that seems maybe abandoned?... I haven't played the game in a bit, but I'm pretty sure it's fairly empty?... Or, at least, it felt pretty empty to me... And why would they (as in, Fazbear Entertainment) just get rid of a beloved character?... Maybe Foxy is just out of order and is in some inaccessible room, that's definitely the actual likely reason...

But who says headcanons have to be likely?!... Our headcanon is that Foxy is Trans and couldn't deal with the dysphoria anymore, so she told an employee or manager or whoever... She honestly probably just expected them to scrap her endoskeleton and replace her... Why would they bother actually allowing her to transition, that would cost a lot of money to feminize her casing... But the company is greedy and realized that pirates and foxes aren't as popular with kids anymore (are they actually?... Idk)... So they took the opportunity to create a (female, for Foxy) wolf character (are wolves more popular than foxes fr?... Idk, they're Bug's favourite animal though so they do feel more popular lol...), who's into racing (also unsure if racing is more popular than pirates, probably not?... But in this headcanon scenario they are... The world of Security Breach is different from ours, bears are literally extinct, I can headcanon whatever I want about it lol)... She now gets to go by Roxanne, be gender as fuck, and gets to be way cooler!... Though, she still struggles with self esteem issues and also has NPD (That one is a headcanon I came up with without Bug, I'm projecting so hard onto this wolf fr)...

Got a little carried away with my explanation, but that's what this Tumblr is for!... Anyway, that's not why I realized it makes sense... Well, that's our general justification for it, but earlier I realized something else... None of the Foxy's seem Cis... Honestly, that could be another reason why Fazbear Entertainment caved and just let her be Trans... No matter how hard they've tried in the past, no matter the design change or changing endoskeletons, the Foxys can't be Cis...

Mangle is the obvious example, Scott has been switching between he and she pronouns with her throughout most of the games and literally said his gender is "yes"... But she's not the only one... Funtime Foxy is one we've also headcanoned as Bigender for a while... Not just because he's feminine, but because she's referred to with she/her pronouns by handunit... Also, in UCN he's exclusively referred to with he/him pronouns, BUT she's also in the Ladies Night 3 challenge... Also Lolbit is kind of obvious too since they're literally just a virus and also they're the Nonbinary flag colors (basically)...

Those 3 are the obvious ones, the others are more.. purely headcanon lol... Nightmare Foxy is literally in the closet... Yes, that's my entire reasoning for him being not Cis... FNAF 1 Foxy is mostly hidden too, in his own sort of closet (ik it's a stage, I mean in a metaphorical way)... Also I'm not acknowledging the fact that he's possessed (or any of the other Foxy's) because I do not care and am only referring to the animatronics themselves... I believe (according to info on the fandom wiki...) FNAF 1 Foxy is out of order because his endoskeleton is glitchy and twitchy... Maybe because he's experiencing dysphoria 🤔 (ik this is a reach, all of this is a reach, LET ME HAVE FUN /lh)... Uh, is Withered Foxy a different Foxy?... I really need to learn the lore of these games lmao... Uh, he's Trans because they're all Trans... Idk if I'm forgetting any Foxys... All of the Foxys are either Nonbinary or Transfem (or both)...

Im kind of losing steam for this post, the tiredness is kicking in lol... Uh, yeah, the point is that it makes sense that they let Roxy just be Trans, since they realized Foxy is always Trans and they can't stop it... So they just fully embraced her finally...

Don't comment on this with any lore debunking anything, I genuinely couldn't care less, let us have our Trans headcanons for a bunch of nonexistent animatronics in a game series lol... Also, if Foxy does end up being in the DLC, it will debunk very little to us... We've already decided that if that happens, we'll just headcanon they gave that Trans endoskeleton her own casing (Roxy) and then just shoved a new endoskeleton in Foxy so they didn't have to actually lose the character... And that Foxy will also be Trans to us... There is no escaping the Foxy Trans headcanons lmao...

If anyone has read all of this, why? /lh... I mean, thanks?... Idk, lol... I appreciate being able to make a really long, silly post like this about a headcanon I love, that maybe someone will read (I doubt it though /lh)... If you agree with us, cool!... If you'd like, our dms are open for discussion about other Queer headcanons (even if we don't know the media, you can infodump to us and we'll enjoy learning about your blorbos and why you believe they're queer)... Our dms are also open for basically anything else, we barely socialize and wouldn't mind having others to talk to lol...

This post is too long for me to want to proofread (also I'm tired), if there are spelling or grammar mistakes, sorry... If there aren't, I'm just that perfect I guess /hj... 🌌

[multigenderswag]

which one is the “correct” bigender flag? personally I’m not too worried about whatever discourse there is about their creators but I’ve seen a few and I’m worried one might be as problematic (god I hate that word) as flags like the labrys flag and whatnot in terms of meaning.

Okay, so, the original flag looks like this

It was created in 2014 or so. There is a very long callout post from 2015 that I'm not going to link because I don't like callout posts. I read some of it and, quite frankly, it gave me a headache. So, this seems to be the reason some people prefer different versions.

The alternative flag that I use in my pfp looks like this

It was made by camp-mlm in 2019 after he discovered the original flag had a problematic creator.

In all honesty, I didn't fully realize these were two separate flags until I did research for this post. They have similar colors! They're just flipped upside down and the purple and white stripes are switched. Close enough. I am very bad at remembering the orders of the colors in pride flags in general, and the bigender flag is no exception.

I use the second flag for my pfp because it was the one I found the sparkly version of, but I genuinely don't have a preference between the first and the second. I'll probably use them both when posting. Regardless of whether the creator was a bad person (which I'm not sure of, because I tend not to trust callout posts), the flag is just an arrangement of colors and it's not like it's tainted by their views. As far as I can tell, they're deactivated and do not benefit at all from me using their flag.

This is a commonly used alternative flag that is most distinct from the original

The creator of this flag is unknown.

Personally, I don't like this flag much. I don't hate it or anything, but I don't find it visually appealing.

As far as which one is the "correct" flag, there doesn't really seem to be a community consensus or anything. The original seems to be the most recognizable, and a "bigender flag" google search brings up mostly that one. The one in my pfp is similar enough to also be fairly recognizable, I think. The last one is less common, but is still used pretty frequently.

None of them have any "problematic" meanings. There's controversy regarding the creator of the first one, but no issue with the flag itself.

[phoenix-is-gross]

Welcome

My name is Phoenix and this is my first blog post.I often feel like my life is really boring, but recently realized that my life is actually pretty bizarre. I hope that by sharing I may help someone, even if it's just one person.

I want to start off with a little about me.I chose the name Phoenix, my last name is Gross, which has been a pain in my butt through my twenty-nine years in this life. I've kind of embraced it at this point, but it can still get annoying because grown-ass adults still laugh about it. The funny thing is that my last name wouldn't have been Gross if my father's father hadn't changed his last name when he joined the military.

I am an AFAB non-binary person, but I don't mind being referred to as female, as I do menstruate and have breasts. I call myself a bigender lesbian because I'm only interested in dating other AFAB individuals. If you want me to get technical I would tell you that I'm pansexual, homoromantic, and demisexual, but that's hella complicated.

I am neurodivergent in pretty much every sense of the word.I have been diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder Type 2.Due to my background in psychology, I am fairly certain that I also have Autism and CPTSD. I was never assessed for autism as a child and I wasn't taken to a psychiatrist after my initial trauma, so I will likely never know for sure. I often wonder how my parents missed the signs of my autism and ADHD. I used to line up my toys, which is a sign of autism and I remember my teachers begging my parents to have me assessed for ADHD when I was little because I simply couldn't sit still or stay silent.

I suffer from multiple disabilities, some of which are actually very rare. I have Hydrocephalus, which is a disorder characterized by the build up of excess fluid in the brain. It can cause headaches as well as memory impairments. I have another disorder called Neurofibromatosis Type 1 which is a neurological disorder characterized by the growth of tumors on nerve endings. My doctors knew that I have the birthmarks that it causes but I never had any testing because I did not have any of the neurological symptoms, such as developmental disability. I also have a learning disability caused dyscalculia, which affects my mathematical ability and sense of direction. My dyscalculia is probably caused by the NF1 because it is technically a developmental disability.

Lastly, I have a severe traumatic brain injury which was caused by a surgical error when I was seventeen.The TBI caused me to have a stroke, leaving me with a paralyzed left foot and permanent short term memory loss.There is no end to the issues my TBI has caused, but I will get to that on another day.

If you have any questions about any of these disorders, feel free to ask. Keep in mind that inappropriate questions won't be answered

Love,

Phoenix

[peaches2217]

2, 21, and 25? 🫶

Yay! Thank you! (In regards to this prompt)

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

She/Her and He/Him! I'm bigender, in my case being male and female. (I got called "Cis+" as an insult in an NB group once, but honestly that's not a bad way to look at it - both of my genders are binary, but they coexist rather than being mutually exclusive opposites.) I don't really prefer one pronoun set to the other; rather, I prefer to be called by both interchangeably!

To that extent, please, please don't refer to me by they/them pronouns (unless you just forget/don't know my pronouns and do it out of respect, in which case that's totally cool!). Admittedly that was the catalyst for the Cis+ comment (something to the extent of "Lol you claim to be nonbinary but your genders are binary and you're adverse to they/them? Looooool you're literally just an indecisive cis person"), so I've been especially sensitive to that ever since 😅

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I'm gonna be corny here: I just love knowing who I am! I kicked around being bigender in high school, but ultimately decided I was my AGAB with tomboyish tendencies. But throughout adulthood, the signs that it was more were always there: I've always identified more strongly with male characters in media, and as a writer, I find it easier to write from a male POV. I've always love being perceived as male; I have short hair and look fairly androgynous from the back, so at work customers would sometimes get my attention with "Excuse me, sir?" They'd apologize profusely when I turned around to reveal a baby face and a sunflower hairclip, but I'd be on Cloud Nine all day and I could never quite explain why.

At the same time, I never thought I was trans. I've always been perfectly happy being a girl. I spent most of my life shunning my femininity (my formative years were smack-dab in the middle of the Not Like Other Girls trend), but in my early 20s I began really embracing it, letting myself wear makeup and dresses and bright colors, and I've loved it ever since! But I could never shake my ties to masculinity. I couldn't explain it.

Last year I finally got fed up and did some soul-searching with friends; they suggested maybe I was a demigirl or demiboy, but those labels didn't feel right, because I'm not partially either, when I dig down deep. When asked who exactly I am, "I'm a woman" and "I'm a man" both feel right, but suggesting I'm more/less one than the other doesn't. "Bigender" came back up, and I was like "Oh. Maybe 17-year-old Peaches really was onto something."

ALL THAT TO SAY: My favorite part of being multigender is being able to understand and embrace myself to the fullest. I'm not a girl with masculine tendencies and I'm not a guy in touch with his femininity. I'm a man as I am a woman. Discovering that has been life-changing.

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Not sure if it counts as art, but this symbol:

because it perfectly encapsulates and answers the mystery of my own identity. Not all bigender people are male and female or masculine and feminine; the beauty of the nonbinary is that everyone's experience is so varied! But as someone who's only recently come to realize she can be both at the same time rather than having to choose, that simple, silly little symbol just makes me so happy.

[biganimal92]

i also like how little america is now emotionally mature enough to be able to make friends with people who are roughly at her level of maturity because she has enough confidence in herself to not have to rely on the bonds she forms with people to be based on their desire to protect her and her needs for having someone provide for her emotional needs because she's able to be a big support for hotaru who is like very clearly worse off than little america ever was and hotaru is in desperate need of someone she feels like she can trust and someone who makes her feel wanted and cared for and not like some kind of freak who's better off dead. and like the fact that little america can understand how much hotaru is suffering from something fairly mature and complex shows a lot about how she's grown. it's 11pm and i'm crossfaded right now so i don't have the exact words i want to use but little america essentially went from being the one who needs to be cared for to being the one who can provide care for people she cares about so i feel like her relationship with hotaru is a very natural extension of the relationship little america had with pluto and how that helped shape her and facilitate her growth as a person. i also like how little america very clearly has a crush on hotaru but society dictates that young girls should want to have cute boyfriends so that they feel fulfilled so the feeling of having a crush on Her Fucking Dad makes sense to her but the feeling of having a crush on another girl feels entirely outside of her depth. it's okay little america your mom made out with a bigender intersex person when she was 14 i'm sure you'll be accepted by her when you're ready to come out

[satoumafuyuss]

Hey! This is the trans questioning person again!

To give more details I've been struggling with my attraction for ages. I stopped trying to label it at this point, but it feels very much stunted because I have to be a woman and all the relationships I'll have will be straight.

I think the closest label that would fit is aroallo but god am I unsure of everything. I've always been so extremely detached from dating culture even as a child. I see all those other women who like men but I'm only attracted to people who are gnc. I like men but imagining myself in a normal straight relationship is horribly repulsive and I'm not sure thats how it's supposed to go lol. About women, I've always thought I was bi but I think I kinda forced that label on me to explain why I felt queer.

I'm in a weird spot because I've explained this to a lot of trans people and I've got a lot of answers ranging from "this is normal cis stuff when they interact with trans people" to "this sounds really non binary".

I think the best way I can put it is that I feel like a sort of slug stuck in this body. I'm happy with it because I look great but at the same time a part feels like it's missing. I feel like I have two bodies for one person, but the other male one can't physically exist. I'm ok with being either but it feels like I'm missing out, especially attraction wise. A buddy of mine described it as the therian of gender and urgh yeah its weird.

I've definitely thought about bigender but the community doesn't really feel this way from what I see. It's more one body for 2 which you know is very fair.

Sigh yeah I've been having those thoughts for a while but I also like my status as a woman somehow. Makes me feel good when people see me as a strong/non conforming woman specifically.

Yeah I can definitely see why that would be difficult to fully understand. I think it is important to know that labels are only here to to help us and aren't concrete things and many people also go on as unlabeled (theres even a flag for it lol!). No two people who identify with a label will ever feel exactly the same as another. Experimentation may be a good idea. Like trying new pronouns or something with people you can trust and know how you feel, there's no shame and finding out its not right for you either!

also I feel you about the "imagining myself in a normal straight relationship is horribly repulsive". That's part of the reason I buried my attraction for men for so long tbh. I hated the idea of being a woman dating a man and all the societal pressures that had attached (like expectations of getting pregnant blargh). Have you ever heard of QPRs? They're fairly common in the aroallo community and maybe more so align with what you're looking for in a relationship?

Genderfluid may be closer to how you feel in this case too. being a gnc woman is also a possibility and very cool though. lol gender and sexuality is confusing 😔

[webspinning]

2/2

🍀 Eros - I wanted a mindflayer, so a mindflayer I made. Her story isn't inspired by anything in particular besides me really like the idea of ' usually scary character lives a generic, normal, happy life '. Rust Haze - Fairly sure it just hit me like a brick one day; gunslinger mantis. I kept it in my back pocket for a while. Silk Lady - Moth. 💚 Eros - Literally nothing. She has never cared :) Robots be robots. Florence - Bigender, demiromantic, unlabelled as far as attraction goes otherwise. Fuji - Unlabelled for gender, sapphic. Lilypad - Agender and bisexual. Rust Haze - Bigender, grayromantic, and omnisexual. Silk Lady - Transfem, and oh my god I never gave her a sexuality ?? she might be bi but I can't....remember. 🧠 Eros - I'm very fond of her story arc in general, it's a lot more chill than most of my other stuff and I should do it more often. Florence - Her design, I didn't do it but I really really really love it. Fuji - Don't think I could pick just one thing,, Fuji's very special to me because aer one of my oldest WoF OCs, and one of my oldest OCs in general actually. Lilypad - Design again,, I only did the colours but I'm very fond of how squishy she is overall. Rust Haze - Her entire character!! It's one of my favourites I've ever thought of and she slots well into..almost anything. Silk Lady - Fond of how I seem to have somehow made her likeable and hateable at the same time. 🍩 Eros - Estranger! They're kind of...friendly rivals? They don't interact outside of fighting, but they aren't really trying to kill each other either.

:insert evil emoji: thank you, i had fun <3

✨💼🎹❤️🍀💚🧠🍩 eros, florence, fuji, lilypad, rust haze, silk lady

ok this is a LOT even for me,, you very obviously don't have to do all of them lmao

but what if i want to :).

✨ Eros - Answered here Florence - Inspired by Florence + The Machine :) I thought it fit her well, I like the name, and I like that artist. Fuji - Got aer name before ae were made! I thought it was fitting for an ice/sky hybrid Since Mt. Fuji is cold and snowy and also a mountain.. younger me logic is flawless Lilypad - I think I just slapped it on her one day with very little forethought. Rust Haze - Her name is a reference to V.IV Rusty from Armored Core IV. Both him, with the name Rust - and her nickname is canonically 'Rusty' - and his AC, which is called Steel Haze. It's not for any particular reason other than I absolutely loved him at the time of naming her, and still do. Silk Lady - Her title of Silk Lady is one, supposed to be similar to White Lady in a way [to emphasise the regal/royal nature] and two, the silk part is simply from the fact that she's a common silk moth. Her real name Iveya was just something I thought of one day, and I liked it better than whatever her other name was that I forgot. 💼 Eros - She works at a coffee shop fairly regularly and occasionally picks up small jobs she can help with around town. She does Something Else as well that I'm not going to say publicly. [if you know, you know.] Florence - Doesn't do anything for a living. Her people barely have a society, let alone jobs. Fuji - Cartography! Aer well known to be one of the best in Possibility, if not the best, though ae'd never say that. Lilypad - Child. No job. Jobless. Might give her a fun one in the future, though. Rust Haze - Mercenary/bounty hunter, mostly a bounty hunter. She only takes merc jobs if money is really tight. Silk Lady - She used to actually weave silk and sell it :) doesn't anymore though. 🎹 Eros - Answered here Florence - Writing things that aren't about the downfall of her tribe, which she hasn't had time to do in a while. Fuji - Collecting things :) ae like trinkets and oddities and probably have a fair amount of actual animus items lying around aer shop without knowing it. Lilypad - Art! Painting, crafting..mostly painting. It calms her down. Rust Haze - I think she'd like either reading trashy romance novels or like, watching sitcoms. Something to turn her mind off from the day-to-day. Silk Lady - I'm not going to say wine. i won't say wine. She probably embroiders or weaves? I like to think she'd keep some of her culture around herself even if she can't do anything with it. ❤️ Eros - The day she realised she can have her own life is a time she looks upon pretty fondly. Otherwise, probably the time she spent with Loulou and co. Florence - Any time her brother was alive is painful but happy for her. She thinks about him a lot even though it hurts because she's scared of forgetting him, I really need to develop them more :) Fuji - When ae told Tethys aer was in love with her probably...

1/2

[pepsimaxolotl]

changed my gender in my bio to Bigender (female/NB) for now. I’m trying new identies and bigender is really speaking to me rn.