#i'm everywhere and nowhere all at the same time
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justalilguyoops · 7 months ago
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minty.....you have discovered my dastardly deeds....
Learning about Lopburi, the Thai town where two rival gangs of monkeys have been fighting in the streets
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Police have been trying to capture the “leaders” but the monkeys know how to identify a tranquilizer gun, so they scatter as soon as they someone raise one. Cops have to hide the tranq gun until they get close.
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anaalnathrakhs · 8 months ago
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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bibiana112 · 1 year ago
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Girl are you okay? Cause you've been looking through the "My lesbian experience with loneliness" tag again
Well the short answer is no :D
#the long answer is I saw one post of someone going 'well now that I'm 28 too maybe I'll try doing the same thing the protag does here''#and nearly cried because 28 is such a ridiculously long time away except not really except it's SO#fucking long and so close to what I was gaslit into believing I would ever have that I'd be lucky to make it to my thirties for no reason#and I never wanted anything different and just wanted to live and had panic attacks when reading but I'd still believe it was inevitable#and now I am suddenly having to come to terms with so much I want from life that I had resigned myself to never having because I couldn't#but how am I meant to do that? it's just hanging over my head now and it feels so stupid and I feel so out of place everywhere#it feels like I'm too bad at being a person to be loved and too angry to even admit I want to be#and too regretful to seek it because I'm scared of trampling over people's boundaries like people have done to me#and like I did too before I grew up and thought my way through having some empathy#why do only boys show any interest in me.... why is every friend I make entirely outside the range of people who could possibly reciprocate#why is it so easy for me to brush crushes aside aren't people supposed to suffer for this stuff#does that prove it's not a romantic crush and it's just that I want to be held and wanted#it feels so wrong to want this after fighting so much just to have fulfilling platonic relationships what's wrong with me#that I still want something else what more could I want this life is so ideal as far as 12 yo me is concerned#...when did my brain start viewing any and all kinds of want or ambition as doomed efforts for me?#I have such a headache all of a sudden#I think... the way I value self preservation has gotten all the way around into being harmful maybe#at least a little#everyone I know is nowhere near the amount of control freak as I am and they just go do things they want to do#have I seen them hurt over the consequences multiple times yes. but . I'm tired of hurting over absence#''did you know wishing you had more extreme and easily verifiable trauma is in itself proof of having undergone trauma'' well yeah but like#fuck why couldn't I be traumatized by anything else that wasn't literally the profession supposed to help you with all the trauma#delete later#like for real I want to delete it rn but I also don't
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whirlybirbs · 3 months ago
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— BRUISED EGO ; PART TWO ; TOSHINORI YAGI ; 俊典
summary: he should have waited for you. but no, toshinori felt like he had something to prove. now, roles are reversed and he needs your help. pairing: younger!toshinori yagi / f!reader ; hero name: derecho word count: 5k tags: afab!reader, fingering, oral (male receiving), piv, sex pollen trope but make it canon specific, dirty talk, praise kink, denied feelings, deeply needy fucking, size difference, toshinori being a good old fashioned lover-boy (again), enemies-to-coworkers-to-lovers hits hard a/n: oh wow a part two,,, i'm sick in the head ← previous | the tag
This ain't great.
This is, uh, bad actually.
Like, Toshinori has absolutely no idea what to do, bad. 
For Christ's sake, he's All Might. He should have known better. He should have known to wait for you — but no, he just had to calm his nerves by beginning your usual shared patrol an hour early. 
It's been one week, two days, six hours, and thirty-seven minutes since he last saw you. Not that he's counting. It's not like he's suddenly acutely aware of the time he's spent apart from you, or anything. 
Japan is locked in a heatwave. 
(Or, maybe it's just the fever in his bones.)
Large, calloused palms dig into his eyes as he leans back against the rooftop's barrier and groans. Toshinori drops his head against the iron railing in defeat, sending a twang through the hot air. Sweat is running down his back beneath his suit, tracing the curve of his spine.
Oh, and he's hard.
Painfully hard.
Like he said, this ain't great.
The call went out that they spotted the same love quirk user from last week holding some sex workers at gunpoint. He should have waited. The two of you could have handled him easily. 
But, no. Toshi had to go and think he had something to prove. 
He groans again, pounding his knuckles to the gravel.
It's going to be all over the evening news. That clip of him, panicking, and absolutely decking the very-much-not-a-real-violent-threat-of-a-man in the face on reflex after being hit with his quirk. He couldn't help it. It was like... a knee-jerk. It's like suddenly you're being touched everywhere and nowhere. It's strange. Sort of violating. It... I-It was just all he could do, okay? 
And he apologized! Plenty! A-And Officer Tsukauchi said it was fine, that he had it handled, as a bunch of officers began to help the now-unconscious offender out of the storefront's debris.
...Toshinori's phone is ringing.
He has half the mind to ignore it.
But it's the guitar riff from 'Bad to the Bone'. 
It's you.
He barks out a huffed 'shit' before digging his phone from the pocket in his belt. Even your picture glowing alongside the phone call notification is enough to make his cock throb. 
It's not even racy. It's blurry. It's in the All Might Agency's lobby. You're smiling. It's such a rare sight. You're holding up your official hero license and a big thumbs up.
He took the picture a few years ago. It was a big deal, a huge win. Your hair was a little shorter, and your hands weren't as scarred from Pro-Hero work as they are now. And god, that smile. 
...Jesus, you're just happy and he's this horny? 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 
Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.
Toshinori picks up on the last ring.
"Where the hell are you?" comes your voice, cutting through the sound of wind — he can hear the thrum of your bike's engine in the background, "I've been looking all over for you, and I just got a call from Tsukauchi — are you alright?"
The sound of your voice is making his mouth dry.
"I'm fine."
He's not fine.
He's sitting here, aroused out of his mind and in pain, trying to battle through the mind-numbing, knuckle-breaking heat of desire. He can't even come close to the word 'fine'. He's a mess. All he can do is sit here and sweat because he knows no amount of trying to jerk off is going to solve this problem.
He's so not fine.
You can tell.
Tsukauchi gave few details — just that whatever the hell happened sent All Might hightailing it outta there. And, after getting a brief description of the prep, you had a pretty good idea why. 
Your fingers twitch against the throttle.
"Send me your location," you say sternly; the glint of your helmet's visor catches the passing lights of traffic as you talk into the built-in comms system, "I'm coming to get you."
"No," he grits out, tugging on a piece of his blonde fringe, "N-No. I'll be fine. I-I am fine. Just need some time—"
"Toshinori," you bark back as you check for an opening between cars; your whole body is hot and it's not just from the summer heat, "I'm not asking. Let me help." 
...Oh.
Help. Right.
It's ambiguous and sort of ominous but, if he squints, it's the first time either of you has even come close to talking about what happened last week. Y'know. When he kissed you in your entryway, the way he ate you out on your couch, or the way he absolutely fucked your brains out in your bed. All because you had been hit with the same quirk influence he's riding out now.
His location pings up on your visor's HUD. 
"Be there in five."
And you hang up.
Because — I mean, what else is there to say? You are going to do what you have to to help him. Just like he did for you. Then, maybe it will be even! And then, maybe, this feeling that has been eating your heart away for the last week will disappear. Right? And things will go back to normal!
...Right?
Ha! B-Because, yea, that feeling is definitely guilt, right? Like... You... uh. You feel bad. Because... he had to... help. And you haven't helped him. Right. Yes. 
Yep.
Not because you can't stop thinking about his hands on your face, cradling you tenderly as he drove himself deep into you. Not because you can't stop thinking about the way he looked up at you with his tongue flat on your clit. Not because you can't stop thinking about his voice, or his smile, or his laugh, or his—
The telltale roar of a motorcycle sets Toshinori Yagi's stomach ablaze. 
Immediately, the air gets thicker like the feeling before a summer thunderstorm. He knows you're here. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and before he can rub the feeling away, you're there. 
On the roof.
"You look..." you breathe out as your feet touch down with a crackle of lightning crescendoing around you, "Like shit." 
(Truly he looks divine. Rosey cheeks, his chest heaving. His eyes are half-lidded. There's a bead of sweat that runs down his jaw, down down down, down his neck, then disappears beneath the collar of his suit.)
Toshi sighs. It's a ragged sound. He pulls his knees up, trying his best to hide the apparent tenting across the front of his hero costume. He scrapes his rough palm down his face.
"Don't start—"
"Did I look this bad?" you ask, voice hiking an octave as you move towards him. You keep an even distance. Your face is morphed into a look of pity, but there's something in your voice that makes the knot in Toshinori's gut wind tighter, "He got you good, huh, Tosh'?"
He can't do nicknames right now.
"Ha, ha," he grits out, the trademarked All Might boisterousness dying in favor of the lackluster, dry humor he was born with, "You're real funny, zippy."
It's your favorite flavor of him. The man is out of the limelight. Though he may still be bigger than life biceps and thick steel-corded quads, the facade has fallen. 
"And you're a mess," you sigh as you squat down, rummaging in your pack for something. It's a water bottle. You offer it as you watch him. 
The condensation kisses his fingertips as he takes it and pops it open. 
He takes a long drink, caps it off, then presses the cold bottle to the back of his neck. It does little to dissipate the tension in his broad shoulders. The sensation arguably makes it worse. Another bead of sweat runs down his back.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
We're never gonna talk about this again echoes somewhere in the back of his mind. At this rate, they're gonna have to talk about this. Because once is just a fluke. Twice is a problem. A real problem. 
He places the bottle back on the ground after another long sip.
Your heart is hammering in your chest. Despite your desperate attempt to remain levelheaded, you know exactly how he's feeling at this moment. You gotta admit, his self-control dwarfs your own though. You could hardly keep your hands off him the second he walked in your door. 
You wrestle your bike helmet off, and Toshinori has to quell the wave of longing that rises in his chest. Your hair is sticking to your forehead and neck. He suddenly wishes he made you look this way — windswept and sweating. 
The jet-black helmet lands on the rooftop with a thwat. He can see his ragged, flushed reflection in the black visor. 
Your voice is soft. "Hey."
It brings his focus back to you. His mouth is dry. Big blue eyes swivel as they rake across your face — and he hates how his cock jumps at how softly you speak next.
"What do you need right now, Toshinori?"
His chest is rising and falling a little faster. The usual steadfast expression on his face has melted into something doe-eyed and boyish. It makes your heart clench. 
"Are you sure about this?" his voice cracks as he swallows roughly. It's a non-answer. It's a metaphorical boot-kicking-in-the-door, though. Toshinori rakes his hands through his hair, "I-I... I can wait it out—"
You exhale tightly; your rationale is clear. Totally unbiased and very much not rooted in an unabashed obsession with the way he touches you. 
"Tosh', you helped me. I won't sit around and let you suffer when the same hand is dealt your way."
He drops his head back again. Another twang echoes through the night air. 
"Plus," you offer with a slow, crooning smile, "I've always been a sucker for a damsel in distress."
It takes a second.
Then, one blue eye cracks open. Long, dark blonde lashes flutter a bit — and then, he's smirking. 
Ha. 
Right.
"You sure about this?" he asks, his head still dropped back and shoulders slumped. 
"Sure as I'll ever be, big man."
That's the only permission he needs.
Toshinori Yagi is fast. He has to be. He's the Number One Hero in all of Japan. Top of the popularity ranks, fan-favorite, best stats in history. Being fast is part of the gig. 
He's fast to sit up and catch you in a kiss that feels like a bruise — tender and aching and miscalculated. It's teeth and tongue and then a deliciously low noise that rumbles up from his chest and sets your whole body on fire. 
His grip is rough — his fingers fist your hair as he drags you closer, his mouth presses firmly to yours as you scramble against the rough rooftop. It's... 
Needy.
You're crawling towards him.
"That's my line," he breathes out, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth and pressing back in to steal your breath. His grip tightens in your hair. His voice is so low that it feels like someone lights a fire under your skin. It's rough and breathless and so not All Might.  
"It's a good line," you mutter back as your brain stutter-steps. You pull away to crawl closer and straddle his hips. Your knees pin his cape to the gravel. You're kissing him again, letting his feverish need set the pace, "Worked on me."
You can feel him through your hero suit. 
His suit's pants are thick, made of some patented material you can never remember the name of — but his arousal is more than apparent as you settle your weight down against him. The added pressure earns a throaty hum of approval. 
You always forget just how big he is in this form — his hands dwarf your hips as he drags his grip down, allowing himself a little bit of an edge when he unceremoniously bucks up against you. 
"Sorry," he slurs out, his boots scraping against the roof; it's utterly pathetic, "Sorry—"
"Stop apologizing," you breathe out as you follow his lead and continue the movement, grinding your hips down, "I asked what you needed—"
"Anything," Toshinori's words rush out with his blue eyes screwed closed tightly as he grips your hips and slots his mouth back against yours, "Anything you'll give me."
...How is he so romantic? Even in a moment like this? Even when he's blindly seeking friction through his pants, bucking his hips against your own, as he moans into your mouth. 
"Hands? Mouth?" you parrot his line of questioning from your previous encounter; it seems to knock some sense into him.
His breath catches. Blue eyes widen minutely. You feel him twitch beneath you.
"God, mouth, please—"
Who would have ever anticipated you'd be here? 
Who would have ever anticipated you'd be helping him work off his belt, work off his tactical pants? Who knew you'd be watching his taut stomach flex as you push his costume's top higher up his torso, who knew you'd be dragging his stupid All Might-themed boxers down his narrow hips to spring him free? 
Who thought you'd ever see him like this, so desperate and winded and needy? 
Not you, that's for sure. You never thought, in all those years you sat in prison, this would be your life shortly after: giving head — happily — to the man who put you there in the first place. 
And here you are, slipping him a tentative look as you wrap a gloved hand around his hardness and smirk. 
"Is this okay?" you murmur up at him, on your hands and knees. You're teasing him. He knows this. 
Toshinori laughs — an incredulous bark. It's all you need to hear as confirmation. 
The sound splinters into a choked moan when you bend down and take him into your mouth.
He sees stars.
This is going to be a problem.
All he can do is lean back and grip the guard rail over his head for dear life because ho-oly shit. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. His biceps go taut, his knuckles white, and he tries so hard to keep his hips still as you hum around him. His whole body shudders — his thighs tensing under your other hand as you balance above him. 
This is — son of a bitch. Your grip around the base of his cock tightens incrementally, and as you lap at the head of his cock, his thoughts die in a strangled burst of pleasure. 
Then, his hand lands on your cheek.
The touch is reverent. Holy. Tender and adoring.
"Jesus, Der'," he slurs out, his chest heaving up and down as he tries to keep his eyes on you; he can't stare too long. The sight is too much. Too pretty. Mouth full of him, "You're such a good girl." 
There it is. 
The little bit of praise he slipped you before. 
If the iron rail creeks beneath his tightening grip, neither of you pays it any mind. 
You're on your knees, gloved hand around his shaft, watching his face contort into something so wonderfully steeped in bliss. You've got more important things to mind rather than the structural integrity of some stupid rooftop rail. 
Like the way his stomach clenches — the way his abs tighten. Like the way he says your name or the way he chokes out a nervous laugh when you take him just a litttttle deeper. 
"Fucking shit," he hisses; you make a mental note to rib him for his language some other time. Hearing him curse like this is a hell of an indicator for your ego that you're doing a good job, "Der', if you keep that up—"
"What?" you rasp, spit connecting your mouth to his cock, "You'll cum?"
Something snaps. 
It's a flash of red and blue and silver and blonde, his cape tearing through the air. 
Suddenly, you're pinned to the rooftop — gravel scrapes as your boots kick and grapple for purchase. Your elbows scuff against the ground. The wind is swept out of your body and he's kissing you so roughly you swear you taste blood. One of his hands is locked around your jaw. You're effectively trapped. 
All you can do is let out a shaky, startled, yet painfully aroused laugh. 
His other hand isn't gentle — it's tearing at the bottom half of your suit, unceremoniously snapping the button of your tactical pants open and shoving his hand down the front of them. You can feel a slight shake in his fingers as they delve past your underwear and slip into your folds.
"I need you," he hisses; his eyes are dark, and you can see the edge of frustration building. You know the feeling. 
Another kiss.
Suddenly, there are two fingers in you. 
You whine against his mouth.
He doesn't waste any time. He can't. Not when all he can think about is splitting you open on his cock. You're right here and you're soft and beautiful and fuck, he can't even think straight when you clamp down on his middle and ring finger. 
"Be nice," you warn between pants and whines and whimpers. It's an empty threat.
"Or what?" he chirps back, working his fingers in and out; his voice hitches along the syllables, trying his best to sound unaffected by the little breathy sound you let out when he kisses your jaw, "You'll cum?"
It's your turn to laugh. Your hands grapple with his cape, trying to anchor yourself in any way possible. You fist it as his fingers continue the task at hand: opening you up enough to take him. His knees nudge your legs open a little bit farther. Toshinori's body feels like it's on fire. 
His heavy, hot cock drags up the inside of your thigh and he shudders. 
His face is pressed to your shoulder in a flash; it's good because he doesn't see the blissful smile working its way across your face as our own arousal builds. 
"You're soaking wet," he strangles out; his pride is overshadowed by the embarrassing need to have you. He feels like if he doesn't, this raging fever will just get worse and worse and worse. 
"Par for the course," your words hitch on a hot wave of arousal as his palm grinds down against your clit. You grip his wrist, trying to ignore the tell-tale shake in your legs. His hand is holding your face.
"At least I'm doin' something right," he whispers, his breath hot against your cheek as he relinquishes his fingers from your heat and drags your mouth across your jaw, "Y'think... Think you can...?"
Take him? Yea.
You're a brave girl. 
Yea, that shouldn't be a problem. 
What is a problem is your riding gear and hero suit — but Toshinori can't be bothered. He's grappling with them for you, hauling you into his arms as he drags them down enough. They get caught on the tops of your boots, but he doesn't give a shit. Not when you're here, spread, and glistening before him. Not when you're in his lap, half-dressed, and trying to maneuver yourself down onto him with some semblance of grace. 
Everything is bigger when it comes to Mr. Double Detriot Smash.
Again, you're a brave girl. You're not going to shy away from the upgraded dicking down you got last week. Hell, that was great. Filled you up perfectly, and hit all the right spots... and now, you're realizing that the already tight fit is going tobe a littttle tighter. 
Your knees are like jello as your fingertips dig into his shoulders. Your hair is wild — and you're sweating. He's no better off; there's a crease of worry in his brow, even amidst the blinding heat of desire that's eating him up inside. 
He knows he's big. He's huge. He's... 
This is the first time he's ever had sex in this empowered form. 
Not like he advertises this as a service.
He'd be lying through his trademarked smile if he said he wasn't nervous — but there you go, giving him just another reason why he should buy a ring tomorrow and give you everything you've ever wanted because fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck, you're so tight and hot and wet and the sound you make the second you sink down on him—
"God, yes, Tosh'."
The gasp that wrings itself from his mouth is utterly pathetic. He doesn't care. He truly can't even think straight — all he can do is dig his fingertips into your hips and slam his mouth against yours to muffle the whines crawling up his throat. 
"Stay right there," you whisper; there's an edge to your voice of warning. He's trying to listen. He's trying to be a—
"Good boy."
You're holding his face and he can't seem to catch his breath. His boots scuff in the dirt, his brows knit, and he inhales sharply when you clamp down on him for good measure. Fuck. Shit. God, nonono. He needs to move. He needs — c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, please.
"Der'—"
You're kissing him again — and then you move. Slow at first, a little hiccup of your hips. Then, more assured, more confident. An easy up, then down. Then again, and again, and again. And again. 
"God, yes," he nearly cries; he smothers his desperate moan into a kiss that melts away time. Toshinori's hands are trying to find purchase, trying to help guide you up and down his cock as best he can. He doesn't want you to do all the work — he wants to help, "You're so fucking good, Der'."
"Y-Yea?" you breathe out, your entire body shuddering at the praise. Your hip tightens, and you don't even have the wherewithal to consider the cramp. You're not stopping for anything.
Not when this is, like, the hottest thing you've ever done. 
"You have no idea," he melts into another kiss that's all tongue and adoration, his bare thread composure snapping up like his hips in a testing manner, "Lemme fuck you, please, Der', please, please, I promise I'll be good—"
It certainly felt good.
All you can do is hold onto his shoulders. 
If you've learned one thing in the time you've known Toshinori Yagi, it's that he's a man of his word. He holds promises in the deepest homes of his heart, ensuring that nothing prevents him from honoring them. He's dedicated entirely to those around him and to seeing them prevail. Toshinori, even on his worst days, never makes a promise he can't keep. 
So, promising he'll be good?
I mean — it depends on the definition, doesn't it?
If 'good' is desperate, pathetic, fast drillings of his hips as you cling to him and gasp? If 'good' is filthy, muttered praise into your collarbone as he slams into you again, and again, and again?
If 'good' is scrambling in the gravel, being pressed flat as he takes you from behind?
Then, yea.
He's really good.
He's incredibly good — especially as he presses his chest to your back, and wraps his arm around your front. His fingers are greedily pushing through your folds as he keeps up his thoroughly rough pace. The thick, calloused pads of his ring and middle finger grace your clit and you nearly scream. 
The gravel is biting into your knees and palms but you don't care. Not when his mouth is on your neck and he keeps saying your name over and over and over and over again as he drives you into the ground. Not Derecho. Not some tender version of a nickname.
Your name. 
The hot fire of your arousal is building steadily — the wet, explicit sounds of him pushing his cock into you over and over again as he pins you are doing plenty, but it's the way he says your name that really seals your fate. 
Toshinori isn't here right now. Come back in two business days. He's lost in the bone-deep influence of this quirk, hellbent on filling you up and proving he's a good boy. He can give you everything. A ring, a house, a life — three more motorbikes and whatever you want on top of that. 
Fuck, he loves you.
Your fingers dig into the rooftop. 
"Oh, fuck, Toshi — yes," you cry; there's a crack in your voice, "Right there. K-Keep... Keep doing that—"
"C'mon, I wanna f-feel you cum," he babbles as you bury your face into his elbow bracing his weight, "Come on, Der', you're such a good girl, you're taking me so well, I know you c-can—"
Everything is Toshinori. His breath is hot against your neck as he pants, and his voice — so low and honeyed — is right in your ear as he moans.
Even now, he's ever so selfless.
"I need you to cum first," he grits as his fingers work your clit just a little faster, "C'mon, Der', you're doing so good — you deserve it, you deserve to cum so hard—"
Your knees jerk — and the world's best orgasm rushes up to meet you headfirst. A snap of lightning ignites your skin as you lose all control, and so suddenly Toshinori is right behind you, tumbling down the white-hot bliss of the best sex he's ever had in his life. 
He made you snap, he made you lose control, h-he made you cum—
His composure shatters. There's a guttural sound wrenched from deep in his chest and it's delicious. He finishes with a series of frantic thrusts that make you whine. His mouth is on your neck, your cheek, then your mouth. 
You crane yourself back, humming delightfully into the kiss that quells the rolling tide of desire into something softer. 
His whole body shudders as the after-quakes of your orgasm ripple along him. All Toshi can do is smother his sounds into another kiss. This one is slower. It's needy in a different way. 
When the kiss finally slows, it takes a second for him to peel his eyes open.
You look thoroughly wrecked. 
Your expression is that of a woman exhausted. 
Toshinori is suddenly aware of his own bulk, his own weight. Gently, he presses a hand to your cheek as he pushes himself up and off of you. His muscles burn — and pulling out of you makes his entire chest ache. 
The feeling wrings a gasp out of you. 
You exhale slowly, through pursed lips. Then, you brace yourself up on your elbows and hang your head. Toshinori flops gracelessly onto his back, his arms and legs spread with his half-hard cock sloped against his stomach. Your slick is coating him. His pants are half down around his ankles, and his usual up-right bangs have sagged. From heat or exhaustion, you're not sure. 
It sure as hell is cute. 
"You okay?" you ask after a second, taking him in as he begins to catch his breath. 
"Oh, yea, just peachy," he rumbles. The thousand-yard stare into the evening air is a hell of a thing on him. 
It makes you bark out a laugh.
Toshinori lolls his head to the side lazily, taking you in.
Your knees and elbows are bleeding. You're picking out the gravel stuck to your palms. You're in no better of a state — your pants are half on, wrenched down over your riding boots, and your uniform's top is pushed up over your breasts. His orgasm is leaking out of you, and the insides of your thighs are coated with your own arousal. Your hair is a mess. 
You're both messes.
You laugh again — and his own laugh starts shortly thereafter. Before you two know it, you're both locked in a laughing match that only ends when you try to reach to shove his shoulder. Your abs burn. Toshinori tries to muscle the grin off his face but fails.
Fuck. 
Fuck, that feeling hasn't gone away. 
It wasn't guilt.
Mayday, mayday, abort, abort, it wasn't guilt. He's smiling at you in the moonlight, looking so utterly wrecked and handsome and gentle—
His hand moves, a single crux finger gracing the curve of your arm soothingly. It's slow. Tentative. Hesitant. Not too much, not too little. 
Toshinori's voice is rough with sheepishness.
"Are we, uh, are we never gonna talk about this, too?" he asks. 
The touch and the question make your heart kick into a stutter. 
You swallow roughly.
"I..." you drop your head, as you wet your lips; play it cool, "Is it something you... want to talk about?"
"...Do you?"
A non-answer.
Your lashes flutter as your stare widens. You open your mouth, about to say something, but suddenly both of your phones are blaring with a city-wide alert. 
It takes a second for it to register — and as suddenly as the moment came, it went. 
ALERT, ALERT, ALL PROS REPORT TO CITY HALL, MULTIPLE HOSTAGES, ARMED GUNMAN, ALL PROS REPORT TO CITY HALL, ALERT, ALERT!  
You're struggling to haul your pants up as All Might fumbles with his belt. You hop on one foot, cursing as he scrambles for his phone in the gravel.
"You gotta be kidding me," he grits quietly, thumbing through the notification as you struggle in the middle distance behind him, tripping into your pack as you try and button your pants. 
"Time to go?" you ask pathetically as you try to ignore the feel of after-sex between your legs. 
"I guess that conversation is going to have to wait until later," he says apologetically, bending to grab your helmet. He offers it as you shrug on your pack; there's a sudden cocky confidence seeping back into his posture, "So let's make this quick, shall we?"
You swallow down a rush of worship. 
"I guess so," you remark easily, again trying your best to seem cool. That's your whole persona after all. Little miss spiteful, cold, rough-around-the-edges...
Beautiful, perfect, lovely, Toshi muses as you shove your helmet on and jut your chin his way. You flick your eyes toward the edge of the building.
He's already got a running start. 
"After you, All Might."
"Race you there, Derecho." 
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orteil42 · 11 months ago
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some undifferentiated thoughts about my Starfield playthrough as i have them. i am a game developer with a strong interest in procedural generation and i've enjoyed a bunch of other bethesda games so this might get pretty mean sorry
(this is a long one)
starfield dialogue is already exhausting me "oh you must've been living under a moon rock ;)" get it! because they're in space! this would've been too corny for the Jetsons
there's a kind of cheap dusting of space theme over everything. the food isn't salmon but alien salmon. it's not seaweed but alien seaweed. cooking alien stir-fry. come on
cannot get over how clumsily the theming is handled. books, board games, weapon names revolve heavily around space. these people have been living on alien planets for hundreds of years yet have this unending sense of novelty about it. the game takes itself completely seriously but feels like it's attempting to parody itself
people's EYEBALLS are CLIPPING THROUGH THEIR EYELIDS
a woman is speaking to me in french. her accent is about as believable as her haircut
these are some of the worst reflection maps i've ever seen
next to nothing is interactive. you can sit in chairs and sleep in beds and that is about it. can't even drink from people's toilets. disgraceful
game helpfully crashes 5 seconds after i decide i should get some sleep. very handy!
my character has not said a single thing since i started playing. not one peep. this is an unmitigated improvement over Fallout 4 i'm so glad honestly
the more i poke around the big city the more the NPC quips feel like something out of gen-1 pokemon. can't get enough of this coffee :) this city is where it's at :) spacesuits are comfy and easy to wear
very strange sense of altered reality from the quest dialogue too. has anyone at bethesda met a person before? i move on to some mission that has me scanning wildlife on a faraway planet hoping this will, somehow, feel less alien than human conversation
just as with No Man's Sky, every planet is uniformly dotted with equidistantly-placed points of interest that you slowly make your way to (no vehicles besides your jetpack) which always turn out to be some cave or building identical to those you've cleared before
unlike with No Man's Sky, the seamless exploration is faked and the biodiversity is nil. you do get an impressive amount of raw loading screens however
the prefab bases and power stations found everywhere on planets seem to have very sparse, very specific slots for spawning consumables, which results in encountering some giant industrial installation in the middle of nowhere with, i don't know, a loaf of whole-grain sandwich bread just casually sitting next to it all proper. there is no breathable atmosphere here. who is eating this
planetary traversal is a CHORE. i am saying this as someone who loved Death Stranding
heinous "hold to confirm" buttons sprinkled in various flow-breaking places throughout the interface
enemy AI is abominable. nobody is pathing their way to get my ass. "must've been the wind" taken to the next level. an infant playing peekaboo has more object permanence
hoisting yourself up on ledges when jumping is…nice
companions randomly nowhere to be found. persists through multiple fast-travels and loading screens until, just as randomly, they pop back up
storage space is now limited! unlike in Fallout 4 and virtually every other bethesda game, your containers now hold a finite item capacity. god forbid we let the player have fun
baffling inventory UI. i imagine there's a mod out there that completely overhauls it the way SkyUI did for Skyrim. this should not be needed! how are your UIs getting worse a decade later!
scanning the precious few species inhabiting some dusty planet; one of them is this arching red root i've already seen several times before. my job done in this biome, i travel (read: teleport with a loading screen) to the polar region to find some other species. the first one i catalogue is the exact same red root again but this time it's named "boreas root" todd howard is a genius
some alien horror comes at me full fangs out. i hop on a pebble. obscenely, i am safe
procedural terrain generation beyond dull, impossibly unimaginative. these people have not had one critical thought on what makes a procedural world interesting. beginning to feel validated in my belief that only i should be trusted with proc gen. along with perhaps tarn adams
jokes aside this is making me feel genuinely insane. there have been excellent procedural generation techniques that produce compelling explorable maps for decades now. bethesda absolutely has the budget and know-how to do miles better than this yet somehow they just…do not? the same way Pokemon has decided to just no longer bother with their mainline games despite being the highest-grossing media franchise in history? hello? what is for real going on
some of the most cynical breadcrumbing i've seen in years. approaching some random cave and this person in space gear, who in the vast immensity of the infinite cosmos just happens to be snapping pictures right here, tells me more-or-less verbatim "if you like this place, you should see this other place" [other random cave has been added to your map.]
i do not like how good this makes No Man's Sky's gameplay look. it depresses me how much i have to hand it to No Man's Sky for at least not fucking up this bad. please stop making me wish i was playing No Man's Sky instead this is grotesque
i think i've exhausted my interest and patience for this game at the moment. i'll get back to the main story at some point and try some other systems ie. crafting and base-building to see if there's any engagement to be found but so far, my god. my god
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edenesth · 5 months ago
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Clumsy Hearts, Steady Love
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Pairing: boyfriend!Hongjoong x fem!reader
AU: non-idol au
Word Count: 2.4k
Summary: He was a great friend but a terrible lover, and he knew it. For the longest time, he believed he wasn’t cut out for relationships. But then you came along, and for the first time, he wanted to try. He wanted to be better, to be good for you, even if it meant being clumsy along the way. For you, he was willing to learn how to love.
A/N: Only @itstheghostofmypast knows this was initially meant to be a timestamp🤡
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"Don't drive today, darling. I'll pick you up from work this evening."
Those words from Kim Hongjoong echoed in your mind. For the first time in a year of being together, he offered to pick you up. Your heart soared at the unexpected sweetness from him.
It wasn't that you thought he was a bad boyfriend, but you knew his nature from the very beginning. Your friends had warned you when you accepted him; he was a workaholic, someone who would always put anything and everything before you. A good friend but a bad lover—that was his reputation. Yet, you couldn't deny the way he made your heart race, the way his presence made everything better, the way he vowed to love you as you deserved, the way he promised he would try for you.
From the start, you knew what you were getting into. You didn't expect perfection. You didn't want perfection.
You just wanted him.
But loving Hongjoong truly was not easy.
It could be exhausting. Perhaps today was another one of those days.
You had looked forward to this day for so long, hoping he would be the boyfriend he promised to be. But deep down, you knew better than to have such high hopes.
Letting out what felt like the thousandth sigh of the day, you nearly froze to death from being soaked in the rain, your ankle throbbed from a sprained heel as you stood by the bus stop outside your office building where he was supposed to pick you up.
But he was nowhere to be seen.
Every call went straight to voicemail, escalating your worry to panic. You didn’t dare move, fearing he might arrive at an empty bus stop.
After hours of agony, trying to reach him, and calling all his friends, you got the same useless response: he was unreachable, and they had no idea where he could be.
Three hours.
You sat there for three hours, sick with worry about him, when you were the one who needed care, only to end up taking the bus home. So much for the excitement and anticipation of him picking you up for the first time. You should have been furious, but the pounding headache and rising fever stole that from you. Another heavy sigh escaped your lips, the disappointment of what should have been an exciting Friday evening turning into an utter disaster.
"Enough, my darling. I'm here now, am I not?" said Kim Hongjoong.
The audacity.
You had left work to be greeted by a heavy downpour, cursing yourself for not bringing an umbrella. As if things couldn't get worse, your sprint to the bus stop where he promised to pick you up was interrupted when your heel chose that moment to snap. You yelped in pain, stumbling forward onto the wet ground, your belongings scattering everywhere. Crawling on the rough pavement to collect them, you finally stood up, only to feel a sharp throb in your ankle.
But it was supposed to be okay because seeing Hongjoong was sure to make everything better.
Ha, bitch you thought.
He left you panicking like a mad woman for hours, only to show up in the most infuriating way. When the 8pm bus finally rolled to a stop before you and the automated doors swooshed opened, you were busy dialling his number yet again.
"Come on, pick up pick up pick up—"
Wait a minute, is that...?
You did a double take when the very person you had been desperately trying to reach this whole time stepped off the bus with a sheepish smile, only for his expression to fall when he saw the miserable state you were in.
"Please throw your phone away if you have no intention of using it," you said flatly, walking past him and intentionally bumping his shoulder as you boarded the bus, no longer caring if he followed.
Of course, he did.
He cursed under his breath, noticing your limp, the heels in your hand, and your soaked, shivering form.
Settling into the last row of seats beside you, he quickly took off his jacket and wrapped it around you. You were too weak to fight back or refuse. His heart ached as he pulled you close, rubbing his hands up and down your arms to warm you up. Silently, you accepted it all. Not only were you too exhausted to reject his gestures, but you also felt you deserved this and more after what you had endured. When you were warm enough, he immediately checked on your now swollen and bruised ankle, careful not to hurt you. The concern in his eyes was enough to melt your heart, but he didn't need to know that.
Once he was done fussing over you, he leaned back in his seat, offering his shoulder. Stubbornly, you turned away and leaned your head against the window instead. Knowing you needed time to calm down, he kept quiet and let you be, but not without staying close. He needed you to know he was there for you.
When you sighed again, he could no longer take it. He felt the need to explain himself.
"I know you're mad, and you have every right to be," he began, his voice soft and sincere. "I messed up, and I'm so sorry. I got caught up in something I couldn't get out of, and I swear I was going to call you, but my phone died and the stupid car broke down. God, I'm such an idiot. I should have tried harder to reach you or get to you sooner."
Still, you said nothing, your silence more punishing than any words you could have spoken. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, clearly at a loss.
"I love you," he whispered, almost to himself. "I just want to make things right."
For a moment, you softened, but the memory of the cold rain and the throbbing pain in your ankle kept your resolve firm. He had to understand the gravity of his actions.
Finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "You can't just show up and expect everything to be okay, Joong. You scared me. I thought something terrible had happened to you. And all the while, I was the one who was hurt and alone."
"I know," he said, his voice cracking. "And I'm so, so sorry, my darling. Please, give me a chance to make it up to you."
You turned to face him, meeting his eyes for the first time since he got on the bus. The sincerity and regret in his gaze were undeniable.
"One chance, Kim Hongjoong," you said firmly. "Don't mess it up."
He nodded, relief washing over his face. "I won't. I promise."
With that, you leaned back against the window, still not ready to forgive, but willing to see if he could truly make amends. And for the rest of the ride, he stayed close, his presence a silent vow that he would try his best to make things right.
As you slowly drifted to sleep, he guided your head to his shoulder, gently pressing his cheek against your forehead. Feeling your breath steady and the tension ease from your body, he allowed himself a small, relieved smile. He reached for your cold hands, stroking his fingers against your skin to warm you, finding it funny how he used to judge couples in public, but now that he had you, he realised he couldn't blame them—you were all that mattered.
The truth was, he had been late leaving work today, and to make matters worse, his car had broken down in the middle of heavy traffic. When he tried to call you, his phone had died. In desperation, he had caught the quickest bus he could find, but traffic had been relentless. He could have told you all of this, but he didn’t want to make excuses. He knew he should have done better.
Hongjoong glanced down at you, his heart aching with tenderness and guilt. He was still clumsy when it came to love, but for you, he would learn to be a better lover. Stroking your hair gently, he whispered, "I’m so sorry. I won't make you wait again. I promise to do better. I promise to always be there for you."
The bus ride continued in peaceful silence, the hum of the engine and the occasional jostle of the road the only sounds. He held you close, vowing silently to never let you down again. As the bus neared your stop, he adjusted his position, cupping your cheek softly and kissing your head, whispering, "We're here, darling."
You let out a small groan as your eyes fluttered open, unconsciously snuggling closer to his warmth and comfort as you tried to register your surroundings. If only you knew what your little actions did to his poor heart. Tightening his grip around you, he helped you up from your seat and carefully guided you out of the bus, ensuring you didn't put pressure on your injured ankle. The driver gave you a sympathetic nod as the two of you stepped off. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, and the night was calm.
As you walked the short distance to your shared apartment, you suddenly remembered what had happened and peeled his hands off you. You weren't necessarily cold to him but you still needed space to cool off. He gulped, his fear of losing you was apparent. "Please, you're hurt. Let me take care of you."
To be fair, he knew he deserved your reaction. You weren't upset merely because of what happened today; he believed this was you letting out all the frustration you had kept in for the entirety of your one-year relationship. And he knew now that if he wanted to keep you by his side, this was his sign to take things more seriously.
No more excuses.
You had been nothing but the best and most attentive girlfriend to him. So, what was stopping him from doing the same for you?
He knew you didn't want to be near him right now, but he also didn't have the heart to stay away. Offering his hand, he nodded toward it. "Come, let's go home."
Tired out of your mind, you swallowed your anger, deciding to save it for another time. For now, you needed him. You reached out with a pout, surprising him by holding onto his pointer finger. "Fine, let's go."
He chuckled, his heart bursting with affection at how cute you were. This was better than nothing. Walking slowly, he made sure you weren't hurting yourself, each step a reminder of his promise to himself and you.
As you entered your apartment, he helped you settle onto the couch, your injured ankle elevated and cushioned. He fetched a blanket and wrapped it around you, his eyes filled with concern. "I'll make us some tea," he said softly, heading to the kitchen.
While he prepared the tea, you watched him move with a newfound determination. You could see he was trying, truly trying, to be better for you. And that thought, more than anything, began to melt the icy wall you had momentarily built up in your heart.
He returned with two steaming mugs, setting them on the table before sitting beside you. He took your hand gently, his thumb rubbing circles on your skin. "I know I have a lot to make up for," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "But I promise, I will. You mean everything to me."
You looked into his eyes, seeing the honesty and love there. It was a start, and as you sipped your tea together, you felt a glimmer of hope that things could truly change.
Just as you finished your tea, you sighed and looked up at him, intending to get up and head to your room. But before you could move, he gently squeezed your hand and stood up. "Let me help you," he insisted, his voice gentle yet firm.
You hesitated, feeling torn between wanting to assert your independence and appreciating his newfound care. "I can manage," you insisted weakly.
"I know you can, darling," he replied softly, crouching beside you. "But let me take care of you this time, please."
His sincerity was palpable, and despite your initial resistance, you found yourself nodding. He carefully helped you to your feet, supporting your weight as you limped towards your room. Once inside, he waited patiently as you freshened up and changed into dry clothes, his presence a reassuring warmth in the quiet of the room.
As you emerged, feeling somewhat more composed, you glanced at him gratefully. "Thank you, Joong," you murmured, genuinely touched by his unexpected tenderness.
He smiled softly, his eyes reflecting relief and determination. "It's only my job as your boyfriend," he replied earnestly.
Returning to the living room, you settled back onto the couch together. The warmth of his tea and his presence beside you enveloped you in a sense of security and hope. Perhaps, just perhaps, things could indeed change for the better between you.
You couldn't deny his affections any longer, his pleading look was enough to melt you into his embrace. As he gently pulled the throw blanket snugly around you, drawing you closer, your heart fluttered. His actions conveyed a heartfelt apology, reminding you why you could never leave this man, no matter how tiring things became. At the end of the day, you both belonged to each other, despite his occasional clumsiness; your love remained steadfast.
Nuzzling against his neck, you breathed in his familiar scent. "How's the car? Have you contacted insurance?" you murmured, slipping effortlessly into the role of the attentive girlfriend he knew so well.
With a tender smile, he shook his head. "Don't worry about that. I'll take care of it. Take care of everything. Take care of you."
His words made your heart skip a beat, and you tightened your grip on his sweater. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Kim Hongjoong," you teased gently.
He reassured you with a squeeze of your shoulder. "I won't, my darling. Not anymore."
Looking up at your boyfriend, you could see the honesty in his eyes. You knew perfection wasn't guaranteed from this point onward, but you at least trusted that he would always give his best effort.
And that was what mattered most.
"If you say so," you whispered, your eyes closing as he leaned in to press his lips against yours. Hongjoong understood your doubts, but this was where he would begin to earn your trust.
From now on, he would do everything to be the lover you deserved. He would learn from his mistakes and grow, all for the sake of the person he loved most in the world.
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I swear, this came out of nowhere lmfao. I was supposed to be working on Jongho's TWTHH spinoff but this happened. Tbf, this has been swirling in my mind for the past week at work because something similar happened to me. I was soaked in the rain and my heel did snap. The 3-hour wait was also a past experience of mine, except that douchebag was no Kim Hongjoong HAHA
Thank you for reading and I hope you lovelies enjoyed this random little oneshot. As always, let me know your thoughts! <3
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withlovemark · 5 months ago
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all of the moments that led me to you. (ii)
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warning(s): steve's black eye (again), mentions of: gun, car crash, death.
pairing: steve x reader
words: 6.3k+
summary: a continuation of moments with steve harrington. takes place in season three.
an: first, thank u so so much for over 1k hearts on aotm pt 1 and to be loved. it’s unbelievable to me that that many people have read my writing. i’ve been writing and posting my stories on here a long time and this helps me feel like i’ve been growing, even just a little 🥹
second, i'm so sorry this took so long. i have no other excuse except the devil himself - mr. writer's block. thank whoever the hell is controlling my sim that they got rid of him (at least for now) and now i'm finally here to share this with you
hope you like it <3
-
yr. 1984
yr. 1985
i. robin’s game of you rule/you suck, intercepting russians and suzie 
quickly walking into scoops ahoy, you finally catch up to the curly headed kid, just in time to witness your favorite boys reunite through a silly greeting. 
you let them have their moment before finally making your presence known, “hey there sailor,” you greet steve with a quick hug, his frame enveloping you. 
he whines at the nickname, knowing how much you enjoy the little blue sailor outfit on him, mind wandering back to when you first saw him in the get up. 
“oh. my. god,” you gasp, a hand to your mouth, trying to hold your laughter in as he makes his way back into his room, after finally successfully putting on his “uniform.” 
“don’t say a word,” he warned, hands on his hips. 
“steve harrington. you are sooo…” he raises his eyebrows, lips morphing into a thin line, daring you to finish your sentence. 
“…pretty,” you giggle, closing the distance to adjust the sailor tie around his neck. he could’ve sworn his heart skipped a beat, maybe two. 
“it's not TOO bad, girls LOVE a man in uniform,” you tease, sitting back down on the edge of his bed. 
a playful smirk on your lips as his sailor hat comes in contact with your face in a matter of seconds causing a bubble of laughter to ring in his ear. 
a sound that has grew to be his favorite.
“sorry we came unannounced,” your voice brings him back to the ice cream parlor.
“he got home from summer camp today,” you explain, motioning to dustin who was now seated calmly in a booth,  “and immediately asked me to drive him here so he could see you,” you grin, steve returning the expression. 
“i think you’re his favorite,” a pout grows on your lips, eliciting laughter from the boy who you now call your best friend. the two of you being glued to the hip since that night in 1984.
days with steve harrington included sneaking into movies, butter popcorn in hand; road trips to nowhere and everywhere all at the same time; late night conversations that lasted into the a.m., a judgment free zone.
“well, yeah, i think we’ve known that a while ago,” he teases, earning a playful shove from you. 
“it’s ok though, i missed that little bugger too and there’s a new ice cream flavor i want you to try,” steve molds his hand into yours as he hurriedly leads you in front of the counter. the warmth of his hand disappearing as he made his way behind it.
you greet robin a quick hello and she acknowledges your presence by playfully saluting, making you smile. 
“here, try it,” steve snaps your attention back to him, placing what seemed to be a cup of just plain old vanilla ice cream in front of you. upon further inspection you notice it has chunks of something in it. 
“i don’t think ice cream should have that?,” you comment, eyeing it suspiciously. 
“just try it!,” he says, nudging the ice cream closer to your face. 
“alright, alright!,” you giggle, finally bringing the spoon between your lips. steve awaits your verdict, slightly bouncing up and down in excitement, eyebrows dancing.
“oh…wow,” your eyes widened, sparkling. tastebuds exploding at their new discovery. 
he knew you’d like it. 
“are those cookies?” you wonder aloud.
“mhmm, brand new flavor, cookies and cream, who would’ve thought huh?,” playfully raising his eyebrows as he stole the spoon from you, taking a bite out of your ice cream. 
“how are things with laura?,” you bring up nonchalantly, stealing the spoon back from him. 
“ugh, don’t even bring her up,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing another spoon from behind the counter while the two of you mildly attack the sweet cup. 
“another bad date?,” you concluded, eyes focused on scooping up a spoonful of your newfound favorite ice cream flavor. 
“we had absolutely nothing to talk about! i swear we just sat there and ate in silence the whole time,” he dramatically testified, shrugging his shoulders. 
“was the sex good at least?,” you asked, his face cringing. 
“didn’t have sex with her,” he shrugged,  “i just went home after and crashed, i think i really am losing my game,” he jokes. 
you know him well enough to know that he hasn’t been feeling as confident as he used to be. you think back to the night when steve confessed to you that he wasn’t able to get into the only college he applied to. on top of that,  his dad cut half off his allowance and he’s now, as he would describe it, “stuck working at a job that pays $3 per hour.”
all in all, steve felt like he had hit rock bottom. 
“how about you? how are things with isaac?,” steve smirked, changing the topic before you got to ask him if he was ok. 
“eh,” you replied. 
“ehhh?.” he mimics, urging you to go on. 
“not gonna go anywhere, very cocky, talks too much…and he’s a lot better when he doesn’t speak,” you cringed, remembering the way the boy spoke about basketball and cars the whole time, not at all caring about any of your interests. 
“maybe we should’ve switched dates?,” steve teases, head tilted.
you tuck away his golden locks that had fallen out of place and he finds himself holding a breath, eyes focused on your movements.
an action that was so familiar to him yet, lately, has been bringing up a weird feeling that he chooses to ignore.
“maybe we should have,” you playfully agreed, slowly retracting your hand, snapping steve back to reality. 
“anyways, thank you for my new favorite ice cream flavor,” you approved of the cookies and cream. 
“now, i have a favor to ask,” you grinned sheepishly. 
“hm?” he hums, grabbing a napkin and wiping away the bits of ice cream that have stained your lips. 
“can you watch dustin for the rest of the week? i have a bunch of cheerleading practices,” you explain, giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster, voice going a tad bit higher than usual. 
“yeah, yeah, you don’t have to do that,” he shakes his head, smile on his lips, “i got it all handled here, go ahead and just leave me with the lil monster,” he teases dramatically, making you roll your eyes playfully before beaming at him. 
“thank you, you’re the best!” you praised, lips planting a soft kiss upon his crimson cheeks, expressing your gratitude. 
he ignores the way time slowed down for a second, that fleeting surge of electricity that danced within him, igniting a spark that he quickly brushes off.
“i know,” he winks as you swiftly turn around, grabbing your bag and making your way out of the ice cream parlor. 
“stay safe!,” he shouts at your retreating figure.
“yes, dad!,” you tease, his face morphing into disgust. your laughter rings in his ears as you exit scoops ahoy right after lovingly messing up dustin’s pretty curls, an annoyed groan coming from the younger boy. 
“i can’t believe it, harrington,” the sound of robin’s voice captures steve’s full attention, taking his eyes off of your retreating figure. 
giving his coworker a pointed look, steve cluelessly wonders what she’s about to say when she pulled out her whiteboard and finally drew one tally mark under ‘you rule’
he rolls his eyes at robin, like he couldn’t believe what she just did, “hate to break it to you but i wasn’t flirting with her,” he defended himself.  
“huh, you sure about that, loverboy?,” robin snickered, clearly not convinced with the golden boy’s answer. 
“yes buckley, i’m sure,” steve deadpanned, “she’s my best friend alright so just…just erase that,” he mumbled, not entirely sure he believes his own words. 
it’s not like he hasn’t thought about it before…he has.
but falling for someone is never a good idea. he has firsthand experience that investing in love can be dangerous and if his worst fears happen, if the love unravels and crumbles down, he knows all too well that you will never get that same person back. 
and falling for his best friend? it’s not a risk he’s willing to take. 
he repeats to himself, ‘he must not have feelings for you. he simply doesn’t.’ these words continue to echo, living in his mind, until he believes them as truth. 
“well i think she could be your suzie,” dustin pipes in, quickly introducing himself to robin. 
“m-my what?,” steve inquired, the famous hand on his hip stance appearing. 
“your. suzie.” dustin pronounced slowly like that was going to help steve understand what he was talking about, “like how i have my suzie,” he adds. 
“and what the hell is a suzie?,” the older boy scoffed. 
“my girlfriend,” steve’s eyes widened at the boy’s proclamation, refusing to believe what he just heard. there’s no way dustin henderson has it all figured out before him, especially in the ladies department.
“it’s not important right now,” dustin says, shaking his head,  “i need to talk to you,” he says urgently. 
“we’re talking right now,” steve points out the obvious. 
“no,” dustin glares, “just you,” he continues, eyes glancing towards robin who just shrugged, not caring, as the two boy’s made their way back to dustin’s booth. 
“i intercepted a secret russian communication,” he confessed to the older boy.
believe it or not, those words were music to steve’s ears.
‘finally, he’ll be of use again,’ he thinks to himself as they start decoding the russian’s riddles. 
-
3 days later
the boys have vanished without a trace.
normally, steve would swing by after work, or when he was off – which you knew he was supposed to be, considering he gave you a copy of his schedule, – he would pick you up from cheerleading practices. 
dustin was also nowhere to be seen and the uncertainty of their whereabouts fills you with growing concern. 
there were no knocks at your window at midnight. no sound of an engine revving or the horn honking to greet you in the morning. not even the static sound from dustin’s talkie had made its appearance.
the last you heard from them was at the ice cream parlor. so after today’s practice, you were on a mission.  
you rush to the mall, hoping to see both of them devouring ice cream, ready to hear their half-ass apologies on why they went radio silent only to be face to face with two unfamiliar employees behind the counter, robin also absent from the scene.
quickly, you drove to steve’s house, the maroon vehicle nowhere to be seen causing you to reroute your drive to dustin’s house - still nothing.
this puts an end to your speculations – the boys are in trouble.
and they left you here with nothing but silence and the fear that’s rising in the pit of your stomach. 
you think back to where the kids usually were this summer and found yourself running down the wheelers’ basement, after mr. wheeler kindly let you in, only to reveal everyone else was already there…except for your two main culprits. 
seven heads turn towards you, your entrance hushing their conversations, “have any of you seen steve and dustin?,” you ask as they all shake their head no.
“well,” max spoke up, hope glimmering in your eyes, “el and i saw him at the mall,” she revealed.
“when was that?,” you inquire.
“like, 2 days ago,” she quickly replies, making you groan in exasperation. 
“hey,” nancy snaps you out of your despair, “they’ll be okay, it’s steve and dustin, they’re just probably out doing something ridiculous,” offering a smile, failing to comfort you. 
bless her but the only thing you could think about was how the last time those two did something “ridiculous,” they almost died, making you sink deeper into concern. 
“yeah, steve’s probably just helping him talk to his imaginary girlfriend,” mike chimes in as you remember the girl dustin briefly told you about when you drove him to starcourt mall. 
‘that was plausible,’ you convince yourself, finally nodding and accepting their assumptions. 
“we have bigger things to worry about,” jonathan said, directing the group’s attention back to their previous topic as they fill you in on the mind flayer — a mrs. driscoll, a tom and bruce, and a billy hargrove acting as its host. 
you just hoped to god that steve and dustin really are just looking for suzie because if they were in any kind of danger, you might kill them yourself. 
for now, you’d just have to play on this team. 
ii. starcourt mall and the TODFTHR 
starcourt mall in its after hours has a tauntingly beautiful presence, its hallways bathed in the soft glow of neon lights that crackle with static, creating an ambiance that breathes an almost palpable energy, as if the very essence of the mall comes alive in the quietude of the night. 
dustin finally radioed in a while ago with another code red, making goosebumps rise throughout your body. “code red” was definitely the last thing you wanted to hear. 
all the group could make out from him were the words, “open the gate,” and you knew this was all connected to everything you’ve seen in the past couple of hours. 
“where the hell is he?,” mike whispers as max shushes him and you silently thank her in your head. 
the group is extra attentive, everyone looking around in hopes they’ll find something out of place. 
finally, a faint click reaches your ears, followed by hushed footsteps. you think you’ve imagined it until nancy voices your suspicions, “what was that?,” she whispers. you feel the blood draining from your face, heart racing, afraid of the events that could transpire. 
following the sound, the group ends up at the second floor — right above the food court.
you spot the four men first, each one of them with their arms raised, gun aiming at a food stall. 
eleven immediately steps in making the car alarm go off then proceeding to throw it at the armed men. she leaves you stunned and amazed, like she's been doing the whole day, and you can’t help but send her a smile of gratitude. 
after a second or two, the two familiar heads finally emerged, eyes finding the golden ones you’ve grown accustomed to, all beaten up and bruised. 
rushing towards them, you pull dustin into a tight hug first, exclaiming “where the hell have you been?….i’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 
“i’m okay, i’m okay! i promise! im sorry,” he apologizes as you quickly look him up and down, your protective side kicking in, checking for any signs of injury until he finally slipped from your hold, reuniting with his friends. forcing you to look up at the beaten up, beautiful boy in front of you. 
“steve-,” you whisper, before running up to him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. the beating of his heart against your ears, and in that moment, you feel like you can breathe again. 
he holds you just as tight, visibly relieved that you’re unharmed. as he exhales a sigh of relief, you pull away slightly, inspecting the mark around his eye. soft hands ghosting over the bruise that was already starting to turn purple.
“didn’t i tell you to stop getting into fights?,” voice laced with concern as you fought to hold back tears, overwhelmed by the rush of comfort having him by your side brings.
“i know it doesn’t look like it, but i actually won,” he smiled, tenderly brushing away the tears in the corner of your eye before they could spill. 
“what happened?,” you asked. 
a light cough from behind him breaks you out of your embrace, slightly pushing the boy away from you and finally taking in robin’s presence.
their matching appearance doesn’t go unnoticed.
“we found a secret lair, got drugged by russians and then they beat up pretty boy over here for some answers,” they share a smile. 
for a second, you feel your heart twinge. you’re not too sure whether it’s because the information robin shared painted a disturbing image in your mind or if it was because she was there and you weren’t. 
you can’t allow yourself to dwell on it as the group finally reunites, connecting all the pieces together and figuring out the next step. 
“oh screw tod, steve’s her daddy now,” steve says excitedly, as he got into the driver seat of the TODFTHER. 
robin and erica comment on his use of referencing himself in the third person and the word “daddy,” causing you to laugh as you sat in the passenger seat. robin, erica and dustin squeezing in the back.
driving off with the scoops troops, you make your way to dustin’s tower. 
“suzie must be pretty special, huh? for you to make this tower just for her,” you finally get a chance to interrogate the young boy, earning an excited nod from him and a groan from everyone else, making you feel like an outsider in their very obvious inside joke. 
“he described her as scientifically perfect and has yet to shut up about her,” robin fills you in, obviously tired of the topic at hand.
“i mean, nobody’s scientifically perfect but suzie’s about as close to being perfect as any human could possibly be,” dustin added, causing more annoyed groans to slip from everyone’s lips except yours.
“she sounds made up to me. she sound made up to you?,” erica sassed back, resulting in an eye roll from the young boy. 
“steve, y/n, you believe me right?,” he says, sitting forward, glancing between you and steve. 
“of course,” you quickly assured him while steve remained silent, before finally nodding his head along with you. 
“you hesitated,” dustin points out, a pout on his lip, “why did you hesitate, steve?”
“i didn’t hesitate!” he defends himself, his voice reaching a higher pitch. 
the older boy turned towards you, asking for your help but all you could offer him was a shrug, a smile playing on your lips.
dustin impatiently repeats his question, finally getting his answer, “i don’t know man, no one is hotter than phoebe cates!,” steve bursts, earning a look of confusion from you and a whine from the younger boy, giggles bursting from the two girls sitting in the back. 
you definitely missed out on a lot. and you realize how much you hate it. 
“left. turn left.” dustin said suddenly, prying you away from your thoughts.
“there’s not a road here,” steve points out the obvious. 
“turn left! now!” the younger boy yells urgently.
“jesus! hang on!” steve yelled before finally making a harsh left, your hands immediately going up your face, acting as a shield against the tree branches coming in contact with the vehicle. 
“oh my god, where the hell are we going!?.” you shout through all the ruckus. 
“just keep going!,” dustin continues with his unreasonable directions. 
“we’re not gonna make it!,” robin yells from the back and you see determination flash in steve’s face.
“yes we are!, come on baby!” he urges TODFTHER to go on until it finally hit its’ limit, leaving the group stuck in the middle of the woods.
“guess, we’ll have to walk the rest of the way,” dustin says. 
“how far is this thing?” erica says, voicing everyone’s annoyance. 
iii. dustin’s tower and an epiphany
it wasn't long until the group finally made it to dustin’s radio tower, finally being able to instruct murray’s next steps.
you were seated on the field with the rest – the calmness before the storm. 
“hey, guys?” steve’s voice causes the group to get up and follow his line of vision. 
starcourt mall’s rapid flickering lights causing panic to rise in the air, dustin immediately runs back to his talkie, trying to radio the others but all that was received was a loud, screeching, monster noise. the younger boy repeatedly tries to get a response but all that was left was static. 
steve makes up his mind, immediately getting up on his feet, ready to run towards the direction of the mall, but before he could get any further, your voice makes its way to his ears, halting his movements.
“where the hell are you going?,” you shot, panic evident in your voice. 
“to get them the hell outta there!,” he exclaimed, adrenaline running through him. you knew you weren’t going to be able to persuade him to stay here with you. but after the past couple of days of thinking you’ve lost him, there’s no way, in hell, he’s leaving you here. 
“i’m going with you,” you announced, already walking towards him. 
“no,” he says sternly, meeting you in the middle, “just stay here, watch the kids,” his eyes pleading with you to obey. 
“robin can watch them,” you countered quickly, reaching out for his hand, fingers fitting in yours perfectly.
“y/n-,” he whispers desperately. hoping you could hear how much he wants you to stay here, where it's safe. 
he can’t keep putting you in dangerous situations just because he wants to play hero. 
“you’re not going without me! i won’t let you!” standing your ground, your hand tightening around his.
steve can’t help but think back to earlier that night, sitting in the tiled bathroom of starcourt mall, robin opposite of him. 
“i just don’t get it,” robin says groggily, slowly coming down from the high and voicing her opinions. 
“what?,” steve looks at her, eyes droopy, mouth slightly agape. 
“you…going on all of these dates,” robin pointed out, “how you don’t realize you have the perfect girl in front of you,” she wonders aloud  he knows she wasn’t talking about herself, especially after she trusted him with her little secret. 
“you don’t think i know that?,” steve says, eyes closing, head slowly coming in contact with the wall behind him, defeated.
“why don’t you do anything about it then?”
“because….because- she’s y/n! and i’m…” he pauses for a second, trying to find a better way to explain it to robin but all he could manage to say was “i’m just steve.”
“well ‘just steve,’ i think you’re pretty cool,” robin compliments him, allowing him to fully strip away the walls, his hidden feelings coming to surface. 
“she has dreams and goals and i know damn well, she’s going to make every single one of those things happen, meanwhile, look at what i’m wearing! look at where i am! sitting on a bathroom floor, drugged!,-”
“hey, what does that say about me,” robin interjects. 
“please, i practically dragged you in here with me,” he continues, “all i do is drag people into chaos….i dragged y/n in this mess too, i can’t continue holding her back,” an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. 
“hm, you don’t have to hold her back, y’know?” robin countered,  have you ever considered being the one to hold her hand and support her through all her ‘dreams and goals’?,” she asks, hopefully giving steve a new perspective. 
“she doesn’t want that,” he says defeatedly.
“have you asked her?” robin questions. steve lets out a sigh before shaking his head no. 
“you’ll never know if you never try, but if you need a little push, if i were her, after everything i’ve seen today, i would’ve left a long time ago,” she says like a prophet. 
those words echo in his ears now and he sees it all clearly. 
you stayed.
you could have left, could have stopped talking to him and walked away forever. yet here you are, gazing at him with pleading eyes, hands in his, hoping he won’t let go.
that fact is evident to him now as he feels your hand tightening around his. 
steve found himself nodding slowly, a blast of realization striking him. you mirrored his gesture, sealing an unspoken agreement – minds and bodies communicating before any words were uttered. 
within the next second, the two of you made your way back to TODFTHER, headed to the mall - together. 
iv. the car crash and neverending story
“holy shit, hoLY SHIT! STEVE-,” you shout, the boy’s foot not leaving the gas as the car continues to accelerate.
steve takes a quick glance at you, “PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON!,” he yells and you quickly obey his order knowing he has no intention of stepping on the brake. 
as soon as he heard the little click, with both hands on the wheel, steve immediately stepped on the gas, the car accelerating at a speed you couldn’t even imagine. you can’t help but hold your breath, scared for the impact you know is about to come. 
in a matter of seconds, TODFTHER crashes into the black car driven by billy hargrove — bursting it into flames. nothing can be heard but the ringing in your ear as you try to refocus. this wouldn’t be the first time the two of you had matching concussions because of billy. 
“are you okay?,” steve immediately inspects you, unbuckling your seatbelt, warm hands gently cupping your cheeks, eyes finding yours. your chest heaving, trying to make sense of how the two of you were still alive. 
as you catch your breath, you look up into his golden eyes, rapid breaths syncing. then, in one swift moment, his lips are on yours, in a quick, passionate kiss. 
well, this is definitely not how steve imagined his first kiss with you.
he pulls away as soon as he registers his actions and you’re left breathless, not at all sure with what happened.
“sorry, i got caught in the moment,” he panics. 
“it’s okay,” you nod still trying to catch your breath. 
you don’t catch the way his eyes lose a little glimmer of hope. he’s about to take back what he said until the mindflayer makes an appearance on top of the building and you both very much snap out of the trance, being reminded that you were still in the middle of the battle. 
nancy directs your attention to her, yelling for your safety. steve immediately jumps out of the car, his warm hands instinctively grabbing yours, making sure you enter the car first. 
silence envelops the vehicle, everyone too afraid to say anything as the haunting size of the creature continues to taunt the group.
it wasn’t until dustin’s voice rang into the air followed by a young girl that everyone finally released the breath they were holding. 
you look at steve with recognition, “suzie,” you say in harmony and he can’t help but be in awe. 
“you’re going to have to say sorry for doubting him,” you tease, making steve chuckle.
he liked that. the fact that you guys can immediately joke around like he didn’t just kiss you after he crashed the car that could’ve caused your deaths. 
suzie-poo and dusty-bun keeps the group entertained, especially when they start singing a duet to never ending story. 
steve looks at you like this is the craziest thing he’s ever heard, the rest of group looking disgusted. 
you can’t help but giggle, quietly singing along to dustin, for only steve to hear, making him shake his head in disbelief. 
“i cant believe she’s real,” steve says after the musical that is probably in the top three most life changing moments in his life and the two of you break out in quiet giggles. 
v. ambulances and “friends?”
the battle was bloody and not everyone came back unscathed. some didn’t come back at all. hopper made a huge sacrifice. billy was dead. 
now everyone was seated in their own ambulances, near star court mall, waiting for clearance. 
you’ve spent the last hour trying to comfort max in her grief. losing billy like that, right in front of her eyes, left her in her thoughts, refusing to talk to anyone. 
the only reason she let you in was because you knew her brother in a different light, unlike the others who has always viewed him as the villain. 
“is it bad that part of me is relieved?,” max quietly whispers like she didn’t even want you to hear it, almost like the guilt of saying it out loud was going to kill her. 
you shake her head no, “grief can present itself in different ways, you don’t have to feel a certain way,” you reassure the younger girl, “just feel what you’re feeling now and take it day by day” you try to comfort her, hoping your words can somehow reach her. 
meanwhile steve was with dustin and robin, sitting in a different ambulance. 
“i kissed her,” steve confessed to the duo.
“you kissed her?” robin and dustin says at the same time. one with pride, the other, shocked. 
“i. kissed. her.” steve repeats, more to affirm himself that it actually happened and it wasn’t just  the drugs that had completely worn off at the time nor was it the concussion he surely had. 
he really kissed you. he knows its true because if he closes his eyes and think about it hard enough, he can still feel the softness of your lips on his. 
“well are you gonna go talk to her about it?,” robin breaks him out of his daydream and the question immediately causes bubbles to rise through his stomach. 
he feels like he's going to throw up. 
“what if i dont?,” he panted, “i did tell her it was just a spur of a moment thing,” he reveals. 
“now, why would you tell her that?” dustin says like a father disappointed in his kid.
“i don’t want to ruin our friendship!” he defends himself, arms flailing in the wind. 
“you already kissed her dumbass, thats like #1 on things not to do to ruin a friendship,” robin points out and he knows there’s no way he was going to win this two to one battle. 
he was going to have to talk to you.
-
“hey,” steve's hushed voice breaks you out of your own thoughts. 
max has left you on your own a while ago, saying she just wanted to be alone. when she was gone, you had a bit of time to process everything as much as you can at the moment. 
“you okay?” steve asks softly. 
giving him a small smile, you pat the empty space beside you, inviting him in your ambulance, “could be better, but yeah…i'm okay, are you?”
he nods, answering your question. “are you sure?... billy is gone,” he mentions cautiously, afraid of how you would react but prepared to offer comfort. 
“well... i do feel sorry for max, she’s the one that lost her brother tonight,” he nods, understanding what you meant. 
billy was long gone for you. surely, not like this — never would you have wanted it to be like this. but he no longer occupies any part of your mind and definitely not your heart. 
“do you know what actually scared me?” you whisper, your breath coming in contact with the cold air. his silence urges you to go on. 
“when i couldn’t find you,” you admit to him and to yourself. 
steve sees everything that he needs to see in your eyes – love, fear, a hint of sadness. 
he has the urge to pull you into him, to feel your lips like he did earlier that night. but before he does, he knows he has to come clean. he has to do it right this time. 
“i have to tell you something,” he says urgently. 
“if something like tonight ever happens again, god i hope it doesn’t, but if it did and i never got to say this, i would hate myself forever,” he rambles, trying to buy time. he knows that after he says what he’s about to say then things with you will take a turn. 
“you're scaring me steve…what is it?” you ask, softly placing your hand on top of his shaking leg, hoping to somehow help him calm down. he takes a second to gather his composure.
to make sure he says the words the way you deserve to hear them – honest, sweet, gentle. 
“y/n, i am in love with you,” he confesses into the night air, soft brown eyes locked on yours.
you stare at him, eyes slightly widening, registering his words. 
for steve, time seemed to stretch endlessly, it could've been three seconds or three minutes but but it was unquestionably the longest silence he had ever endured. 
when you still haven’t said anything, he realizes he has made a mistake and knows he has to fix it, immediately.  
“a-and you don't have to say it back!, i'm not asking for anything!, i mean it would be nice but i'm totally okay with just being fr-” he fumbles over his words, hoping that dustin could find some sort of way to teleport back in time to prevent this confession from happening. but then he feels it — soft lips pressing against his own, shutting him up ever so sweetly.
his body responds instinctively, returning the gentle kiss, eyes fluttering close. this was how it was supposed to go. 
“please don’t say you're okay with us just being friends,” you tease, finally easing his racing thoughts. 
he chuckles softly, “i am… i am not okay with us just being friends,.” he admits, mirroring your expression. 
“good.” 
that one word was all it took for all of steve's worries to fade, happily pulling you closer until there are no spaces left to fill. 
-
bonus: pretty privilege (3 months later)
walking into family video, you gently drop steve’s hand, immediately missing the warmth it provided and causing a tiny frown to appear on your boyfriend’s face. 
“hey keith,” you greeted the boy behind the counter sweetly. 
“h-hi y/n, what can i do for you?,” he was grinning from ear to ear and you knew this was going to be easy. 
“do you think,” you start, voice going an octave higher, an innocent glow in your eyes, “you maybe have two job positions open, right now?,” you finish, a hand placed softly, and very calculatedly on his arm. you were completely taking advantage of his “secret” crush on you. 
steve glances between the two of you in disbelief. 
meanwhile, the boy behind the counter was a blushing mess, mumbling a “god, y-you’re so pretty,” and steve has to physically hold himself back from kicking the air. 
keith leans over the counter, “yeah, i’m-” he starts to say, but before he could end his sentence, steve’s hands wrapped protectively around yours, dragging you out of sight and in between one of the aisles. 
“what are you doing?,” he quietly blurted once the two of you were out of sight. his arms crossing against his chest, biceps protruding, eyebrows going up. 
“trying to get you and robin a job,” you reminded him of the reason why the three of you were even in this store in the first place. 
“yeah but what’s with the cute voice and the eyes!,” he points out, “oh keith! do you have a job opening right now?,” he bats his eyelashes, mimicking you, completely appalled by the way you used your cute voice that was only supposed to be reserved for him. 
“okay first of all, i do not sound like that. second, it’s pretty privilege steve and you have to know when to use it,” he rolls his eyes at your answer. 
“yes, you do sound like that!” he whines like a five year old child, “...omygosh keith you’re so manly!, you have a job, you-,” he continues mocking. 
“steve harrington,” you cut him off, “are you jealous?,” you accuse, holding back your smile. 
“i don’t get jealous,” he scoffs, an absurd expression on his face like he couldn’t believe you even suggested that. 
“really? because you’re looking pretty green right now,” you tease, a small smile playing on your lips. 
“y/n it’s physically impossible for people to turn green,” he rolls his eyes. you ignore the use of your name.
“it’s a metaphor,” you tease. 
“you're a metaphor,” he mocks and you can’t stand it anymore, he’s acting too cute. 
“you're cute when you’re jealous,” 
“you really shouldn't be though,” you continue.
“yeah i know...its just keith,”
“no, its because i’m all yours, steve harrington.” 
in an instant, all annoyance melts away from him and you know you won. your hands instinctively thread behind his neck, grabbing a hold of his curls, a routine you’re now all too familiar with but could never get enough of. 
the taste of strawberry chapstick mingles with spearmint. steve senses your smile against his lips, pulling you closer as his hands encircle your waist, deepening the kiss. soft moans escape your lips, audible only to him. 
he craves more of you, currently wishing you were alone in the comfort of his room, his car, or anywhere but here, in the middle of all these vhs tapes. 
“ehem,” robin’s cough breaks the two of you apart, making you jump.
quickly wiping your lips, you push steve away, taking notice of the lipstick that was now painted on him before sending robin an apologetic smile.
it’s all too easy to get lost in the boy beside you. 
“are you lovebirds done or should i go watch a movie first?,” she says sarcastically. she was honestly over all the lip locking. it was cute at first but the honeymoon phase is now starting to tire the rest of the group. 
“well, you could-” steve starts. 
you quickly jab him in the stomach, shutting him up. “sorry,” you smile sheepishly at robin, “yes, we’re done.”
robin chuckles, “whatever, i got us the job” she states, ready to get out of there. 
“how?,” steve asks, head tilting to the side. 
“told him that steve’s a real chick magnet and he’ll attract a lot of customers...especially hot babes,” she shrugs like it didn’t take any work. 
“ahh,” you nod slowly, agreeing, then redirecting your focus back to steve.
“see. pretty privilege.” you point out, making steve chuckle, his fingers naturally wrapping around yours as the three of you finally walk out of the store. 
and no, you don’t miss the way he looks back at keith with a smirk.
-
an: i will not promise a next year this time because in all honesty, i got nothing but moment titles. if i do write one, it will just be randomly posted one day lol.
thank you for reading! and if you were here when i first posted part one (exactly a year ago), extra love to you<3
please feel free to drop your thoughts, comments, suggestions, etc, in my inbox <3 (anons are welcomed!)
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ghost-in-the-hall · 6 months ago
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Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VIII
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Welcome back to part 8 of Fall For Me! A strange dream, reader goes to camp, and more sweet moments with the eepy Bois this chapter! Thank you so much for reading, if you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list please let me know!
WARNINGS: Brief mention on hunting practices NOT PROOFREAD
Part VII - Part IX
My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link! ~ Tip Jar!
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When you woke up your head felt like it was in a fog, the edges of your vision slightly blurry as you looked around the room. Your bare feet dropped to the floor, you shivered as you stood from your bed, it was a lot colder in here than you remember it being. You paused at your doorway, something wasn't right. Despite the fact you had crossed the entire expanse of your bedroom there wasn't a single creaking floorboard or footstep to be heard. You look back at your bed only to find your body still laying there. “What the hell?” You mutter softly to yourself. You walk over to your still sleeping form, your shoulders rising and falling with every even breath as you lie motionless beneath the covers.
“Don't worry, you'll be able to re enter your body when we're done here.” You jumped at the sudden voice that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Its tone is both a whisper and a deafening howl, the sound high pitched and somehow also impossibly low.
“God?” You ask with a confused expression.
The voice laughs, “I guess you could say that.” The silence that surrounded you was deafening as the voice faded out, it was so quiet you could hear your blood rushing in your ears, no ambient sound existed in whatever plane you had been snatched into. “Trust in Vessel, he’ll show you the way.”
You shot up in bed with a sharp gasp, your lungs burning like you had been holding your breath. Your alarm was blaring on your night stand, 8 in the morning, you had an hour until you opened. You got out of bed, listening carefully for the sound of your footsteps against the floor to make sure you really had returned from wherever the hell you had gone in your dreams. “I'm going crazy, I'm actually losing my mind.” You argue with your reflection in the mirror. “Some mysterious voice coming from my subconscious about trusting Vessel, of course I trust him. But what the hell is the way he's supposed to be showing me?” You decided to drop it for now with an annoyed groan, flying through your morning routine and jogging downstairs just as 9 o'clock rolled around. The day flew by, the steady stream of customers helping to distract you from the weird dream you had. You were just about to lock the door when the all too familiar pickup truck pulled into the lot. You smiled, pushing the door open and leaning against it as you waited to see just who had stopped by to visit tonight. You were a bit surprised to see II jump out of the cab unaccompanied, usually when he was sent to make supply runs he always had one of the others in tow. He strides over to you, reaching out to pull you into an embrace the moment you were close enough.
“I have a question for you.” He states softly once he pulls back, his hands still resting comfortably on your waist.
“And what might that be?” You smile, subconsciously leaning into him.
“Would you be comfortable coming back to camp with me?” You paused the moment the question fell from his lips. “Vessel already knows I'm inviting you, he's the one that brought it up in fact.” II chuckles, knowing exactly where your mind had wandered.
“I would love to.” He waits patiently for you to lock up, his hand slipping into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze as the two of you chat idly on your way back to the truck. You slid across the worn leather bench seat, II hopping behind the wheel not long after. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, leaning in to press a clothed kiss to your cheek.
“Are you warm enough?” You nod, letting your head fall to rest against his shoulder as he starts driving. His thumb languidly trailed back and forth across your shoulder, every so often he would glance down at you to see if you were still awake. You wound down endless back roads, slowly pushing your way down paths that had long since been forgotten until the group had ventured this far out into the woods. II attempted to dodge raised roots and potholes without much success, the makeshift road being filled with craters that rattled the pair of you around in the cab. You were thankful when the dirt path finally smoothed out, the trees opening up to reveal a large clearing with four cabins evenly spaced out around the circle. You recognized minimal details of it from the pictures you had seen in the paper. The cabin opposite the entrance was surrounded by flower beds of various sizes and states of growth, some containing a painter's palette of wildflowers, others filled with various crops that seemed to be growing very successfully. “That's IV’s cabin.” II must've noticed your impressed stare. “I will warn you though, if you compliment him on his gardening it will make him really flustered, so do with that information what you will.” He chuckles.
“Do you all have different jobs?” You ask curiously, II nods his confirmation.
“IV is the main one in charge of produce. III’s a fairly decent hunter, that's where we get the majority of the meat we eat. I’m in charge of the finances.” He lists off everyone's role around the camp. “And Vessel… well he's our spiritual advisor for a lack of a better term.” He chuckles. He pulls the truck up alongside a cabin that was more set back from the rest, it's dark wood almost blending in with the treeline.  “He’s in the middle of something, I'll take you to IV.” He smiles at you. He motions for you to wait, jogging around the front of the truck to open your door for you. He bows his head slightly as he offers his hand, you can't help but laugh softly at his actions.
“What a gentleman.” You grin at him.
“For you, only the best.” He winks. Your hand slips into his, his skin cool against yours. His eyes stay locked on your form as you hop down from the truck, the moment your feet hit the ground he's tugging you into his side, wanting to keep you as close as possible. “I'd like to be able to spend some time alone with you later, if that's alright.” The corners of your mouth quirk up in a smile at the slight nervousness you picked up in his voice. You glance up at him, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before pushing yourself up to place a kiss to his cheek.
“I'd love to.” You whisper in his ear with a coy smile. Your attention was stolen by IV calling your name from across the clearing. II places a hand against the small of your back, gently nudging you in his direction. You meet him in the middle, giggling as he flings his arms around you and spins you in a hug.
“I missed you.” His eyes crinkle as he smiles, you found your cheeks growing warmth at the genuine joy in his voice.
“You did?” You ask softly.
“Yeah.” Goosebumps rise on your skin as you feel him gently knead at the softness of your waist. His eyes nervously dart from yours, tracing over a pattern he had found in the grass as he sucks in a deep breath. “I, um, I didn't get to say everything I wanted to you the other day.” You waited patiently for him to continue, seeing how nervous he was about choosing exactly the right words was honestly endearing in your eyes. “Do you think we could sit down and talk?”
“Of course we can, wherever you like.” You smile softly at him. He hesitantly removed his hand from your waist, carefully taking your hand and studying your reaction to make sure he wasn't doing too much too quickly. He led you to his cabin, shutting the door behind him and watching you with delight as you looked around curiously at all the small knick knacks and trinkets he had littered around the small space. His heart races when his eyes meet yours, he would never get tired of seeing the way your whole face lit up when you smiled.
“I want you to know that I really like you.” He blurts out, unable to stop the confession from coming out. “I might not be as experienced as the others, and I might take things slowly, but that's just because I don't want to mess this up.” His bright blue eyes scan over your features as he waits for you to respond.
“IV, I'm not worried about moving too slow or too fast, or whether or not you're experienced. I think you're very sweet, handsome, fun,” every compliment was punctuated with you taking another step closer to him. “I like you too, I want to see where things go, and I'm very excited to see how we get there.” He breathes out a relieved chuckle.
“I just don't want you to think that I'm not as interested as the others.” His arms slide around your waist, your instinctually slipping over his shoulders as he pulls you into him. His fingers ghost over your cheek, you lean into his touch, allowing him to carefully cradle your face in his hand. “You're so beautiful, every moment I've gotten to spend with you has been nothing short of amazing.” Your cheeks grow warm as he continues his assault of compliments. He seemed relieved to have gotten that off his chest, the usual playful glimmer returning to his expression.
“Well, I look forward to spending more time with you.” His gaze dropped to your lips for a moment before he hesitantly pulled away. He clears his throat, his eyes trailing to the window.
“Did you get to see the garden at all?” He asks, a slight nervous tremor in his voice.
“A little, but I'd love to see it up close. You have a very impressive green thumb IV.” He taps the toe of his boot against the cabin floor.
“It's nothing special.” He rebuttals bashfully. “But, it's definitely a lot better than what we started out with.” He starts to head towards the door, your hand slipping effortlessly into his as you trailed after him. He brought you to the edge of the flowerbeds, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to keep you close to his side as he pointed to all the various different types of produce and flowers he was growing, slipping in small fun facts every so often.
“I don't know how you can say this isn't anything special IV, this is incredible. You've really done an amazing job.” He froze, swallowing thickly as he looked down at you.
“Thank you, love.” He says softly. A soft smile finds its way to your lips as you watch his eyes slowly trace over your features. “Can I take you on a date sometime?” You can't help but giggle at the question.
“I would love that.” You feel him squeeze your waist, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he returns your smile. You both jumped slightly as someone shouted from across the field. II had III in tow, the taller man dropping off his pack of hunting supplies before quickly making his way over to you. IV leans down, placing a kiss to the top of your head before stepping away. You smiled as III approached, your heart immediately pounding in your chest at the sight of the streaks of sweat that had broken down his black body paint. You were unable to stop your gaze from raking across his exposed torso. Your cheeks grew warm as your eyes snapped back up to meet his, immediately noticing the playful glimmer in his expression. You nearly stumbled backwards as III’s long strides quickly landed him right in front of you, a strong hand landing on your waist to steady you as he caught your chin between his fingers with the other. Your eyes dart to anywhere but his, trying your best to hide your flustered state.
“Don’t get all shy on me now.” He chuckles. “How are you beautiful?” You manage to squeak out a ‘good’ in response. III leans down, the fabric of his mask soft against your skin as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “Have you shown her around at all?” He asked IV, his hand still lingering on your waist as he pulled away.
“Just a bit of the garden.” IV responds.
“Think we should give her the grand tour?” II suggests.
“I don’t see why not.” IV immediately perks up at the idea. You reach out, taking hold of IV’s hand, giving him a coy smile as you cuddle up to his side.
“Well, lead the way boys.” II and III share an amused look over IV’s surprised expression. It takes him a moment before he finally relaxes, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before he brings your knuckles to his lips.
It had been less than a year since they had arrived in town and the progress they had already made at their camp was nothing short of incredible. IV had grown a whole storehouse of crops, all of which were expertly preserved in order to maintain the four of them easily throughout the winter and early spring. You learned that he was hoping to learn how to make preserves out of the vast amounts of berries in the area. III showed you some of his easier to navigate hunting trails, explaining that he only hunts as needed and how important to him it is to use the entire animal whenever possible. The four of you wandered down trails, each of them pointing out spots where they would like to go to read or play music. “We should plan a day to hike out to the lake.” IV suggests.
“Maybe next summer, it’s a little too cold for that now.” II responds. “I definitely think we should at some point though, I really think you’d like it there.” You smile as III places a kiss to the top of your head, his presence at your side immediately being replaced by II who wrapped his arm around your shoulders as you continued walking. You had noticed how the three of them almost seemed to be taking turns being next to you, the thought alone was enough to make butterflies erupt in your stomach.
“I was wondering where you all went.” Your heart immediately began to race at the sound of Vessel’s voice. You turn to find him leaning in the doorway of his cabin, “love, would it be alright if I stole you for a second?” He nods for you to follow him inside his cabin.You swallow thickly, feeling nervous despite the fact you knew you had to reason to worry. You’re snapped from your thoughts by II pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“I’ll go start dinner while you’re in there.” He gives you a gentle nudge in Vessel’s direction, prompting you forward. He towered over you from his position leaning in the doorway, offering you his hand once you were in reach and guiding you inside. The inside of his cabin was simple; a small wooden desk with a chair sat in front of the window, a perfectly made bed with black sheets sat against the opposite wall, the large piece of furniture the focal point of the room. Across the room from where you stood you noticed a bookshelf tucked into the corner, the shelves filled with journals, textbooks, and various decks of cards. You could feel Vessel studying you, he watched your body language carefully, trying to gauge exactly how you were feeling in this very moment.
You jumped as he suddenly shut the door, a soft chuckle escaping him at the sight. “There’s no need to be so tense, love.” He steps up to your side, trailing a finger along the edge of your jaw as he leans down close to your ear. “I’m not that scary, am I?” He purrs, sending a shiver down your spine.
“I’m just a little on edge today, I guess.” You laugh softly.
“And why’s that?” He keeps you close to him as he moves. Settling himself on the edge of his bed, his hands coming comfortably to rest on the curve of your waist as he holds you in front of him. You feel his fingers gently push into you, moving you closer to him without much effort. The front of your thighs presses against the edge of his plush mattress, Vessel’s long legs caging you in on either side. You still had to look up slightly to be face to face with him, knowing you had met his eyes behind the slits of his mask as your heart began to pound in your chest.
“I have a feeling you already know the answer to that.” Your voice trembled as you spoke.
“Smart girl,” he praises, “I see you’re putting the pieces together quickly.” He ponders over what to say for a moment, carefully selecting each word in his mind. “He spoke to you last night, didn’t he?”
“Vessel, what was that?” You answered his question with your own.
“That was Sleep.” He states simply. A bewildered expression formed on your face, Vessel continued speaking before you had a chance to ask any questions. “I for the life of me can’t figure out how to even begin telling you about Sleep.” He admits with a bashful chuckle. “I hate to keep you in the dark, but can I please ask you to wait just a little while longer?” The booming voice echoed in the back of your mind. ‘Trust in Vessel, he’ll show you the way.’ 
“I trust you.” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper.
“When the time is right I’ll tell you everything, you have my word.” He promises, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb trailing slowly across your skin. The cool material of his mask comes to rest against your forehead. He just held you for a moment, both of you relaxing into the comfortable silence that surrounded you. “I shouldn’t keep you too long, the others will throw a fit.” He says quietly, both of you dissolving into soft laughter.
“Vessel,” he hums in response to you saying his name.
“What is it, love?”
“I really enjoyed our time together the other night.” He froze, seeming almost dumbfounded by the words that had left your mouth.
“You did?” His response comes out timidly, as if he was dancing around those two simple words, worried it was the wrong thing to say. “Maybe… Maybe we could do something like that again sometime then.”
“I’d like that.” You smile softly at him.
Your fingers remained linked with his as he led you across the clearing, the other three members of the group working quickly to make sure everything was set up by the time you reached the table. You were handed a plate of something you didn’t recognize, but it tasted good. Your night became a blur of stolen kisses on your cheeks and laughter that easily bubbled up from your chest. “I believe II had something planned for the two of you tonight.” Vessel suddenly chimes in. “I think we should probably give them some privacy, boys.” He suggests with a patient smile. They each say their respective goodbye’s; IV pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, telling you he’ll see you soon before darting off to his cabin, III pulls you flush against him, lifting his mask just enough to capture your lips with his own. He mumbles a quiet ‘goodnight’ against your lips, his hand lingering on the curve of your waist as he pulls away. You turned to face Vessel, he held out his hand for you to take. “I’ll walk you.” It didn’t take you long to see that II had snuck off to set up a fire, a log pulled the perfect distance away from the flames to sit on. “It looks like you’re in for a nice evening.” You could feel his eyes studying you from behind his mask. “It’s a shame we have to part ways.”
“We still have a couple minutes.” Your eyes dart down to his lips momentarily.
“It almost sounds like you don’t want me to leave.” He responds with a lopsided grin.
“I don’t.” Vessel presses a knuckle below your chin, tilting your face up to allow him the chance to study your features closely.
“Trust me love, if I had it my way I already would have stolen you for myself.” He chuckles, his thumb swiping over your bottom lip. “We’ll have our time… I’ll make sure of it.” He whispers. He cradles your face gently in his hand, his eyes wandering over your features in silence for another moment before he speaks again. “II, make sure she gets home safely.” You hadn’t noticed until Vessel had startled him that II had wandered back in your direction. “Have a good night, beautiful.” A pair of warm lips press against your forehead, and just like before, as quickly as he was there he was gone. A sense of longing ached deep in your chest, one that was quickly pushed down as II’s hands came to rest on your waist. He gently turns you to face him, hand cupping your cheek as his lips ghost over yours. Your eyes flutter shut, your racing thoughts coming to a screeching halt as you let the kiss consume you.
“I’ve been waiting all day to do that.” II mumbles against your lips with a soft chuckle. Heavy, warm fabric is draped across your shoulders, your fingers instinctually reach up to rub along the edge of the thick denim jacket. “I wanted to make sure you were warm enough. It’s a nice night, but it still gets pretty cold out here.” You found yourself cuddled into his side, the campfire keeping you comfortable despite the chill in the air. II excitedly pointed out every constellation he recognized, filling your mind with tales of adventure, the bravest heroes, the most passionate of love stories. “Right there, that’s Andromeda. She’s famous for nearly being eaten by a sea monster because her mother tried to say she was more beautiful than the sea nymphs.” You can’t help but laugh slightly at the absurd story.
“Well, what do you think?” II gives you a curious glance. “Was she prettier than the sea nymphs?”
“She definitely wasn’t as pretty as you.” You stuttered out a shocked sound in response, your cheeks immediately growing warm. “You’re really bad at accepting compliments.” He points out bluntly, a hint of a smile in his tone.
“I’m just not really used to getting them I guess.” You admit with a bashful chuckle.
“You’re unfortunately going to have to get used to that then.” He glances down at you, his bright blue eyes meeting yours and freezing you in place. “You’re beautiful, I’m not about to let you forget that.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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luveline · 1 year ago
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hi lovely jade!! I had an idea for a request: reader who’s pretty independent who hurt her back working out and now can’t walk/shower/etc on her own for a few days x any of the marauders (I really do love them all and especially the way you write them. you can also make this poly!marauders if you feel so inclined).
this is definitely self indulgent, so please feel free to ignore it if it doesn’t do the creative trick.
thank you for sharing your lovely writing with us and being lovely overall!
sending so many hugs to you!!
hi honey, thank u for requesting!! hope u get better soon <3
the boys take care of you when you hurt yourself. fem, 1.2k
You wake in Sirius’ bed with James curled over you protectively. This is not unusual. What is strange is that Sirius seems to have already gotten up for the day, his sleep shirt thrown in a crumpled mess at your feet and his phone off the charger. You scrub at your tired eyes and consider going to look for him, figuring he's probably in the den (or office, depending on which boy you ask), but your back gives a twinge, and then a throb, and you remember the night before. 
You rub James’ arm and push it off of your chest, preparing mentally for the pain. You've tweaked it a few times in the past, the next day always being worse than the actual time of injury, and yet the pain you're met with is instantaneously disarming. 
“Ow,” you can't help but whine, trying to bend forward away from the pain, and finding you can't manage that, either. You gasp as heat races up your spine and across your shoulders, everywhere and nowhere, like the press of a hot hand. 
James mumbles, “What's the matter?” with his head still buried in the pillows. 
“James, I think I've really hurt myself.” Tears squeeze so quickly out of the corners of your eyes that you don't have time to recognise the heat of them. Other sensations are more pressing. 
You don't know if he's looking at you, but you can feel his careful touch working its way up his arm, and hear the ruffle of the sheets as he gets up. “What?” he asks, his voice stretched with the early hour. 
“Last night, when we were lifting, I– I pulled my shoulder and I thought it would–” You make a strangled sound. “It's really bad, what do I do?” 
“Woah, woah, don't panic!” He leans in, your blurry view suddenly filled with his gentle face. 
James soothes it from there, so to speak. He shushes you softly when you start to sob and helps you lay back down, wiping your tears, not a lick of panic about him. “It's okay, it's okay,” he murmurs, “does that feel better?” 
It's better flat, but not gone. “I can't sit up.” 
“That's okay,” he says, bringing your hand to his lips, where he kisses your fingers. 
He waits for you to calm down before grabbing his phone from his room. It's much later in the day than you'd thought, and Sirius will be working his afternoon shift, while Remus could be anywhere. He likes to write in cafes or parks, somewhere away from the hubbub of the house, lest he be distracted, waylaid with kisses, or pestered into helping make dinner or do laundry or whatever needs doing that day. 
“Hey,” James says, hushed, “you okay? Mm… can you come home?” A startled question that betrays the first recipient, Remus’ rasp on the line. “Yeah, I'm fine, it's our little gym rat sweetheart, she's strained her back, she's a bit upset… No, not yet. You think she'll let me?” 
“I'm not going to the doctor’s,” you call to him. James smiles at you from the door. 
“We’ll see,” he shoots back. “Yep yep. Okay. Well, he's in work… Okay. Yeah, okay. Love you, see you in a bit.” 
“What can he do?” you ask. “You should've left him.” 
“Same thing as me.” He runs his hands through his hair. It's a little too long again, dark and thick, curled at the base of his neck with flicks behind his ears, though it's short compared to Sirius’ mess. When he drops his arms, the noon time sunshine kisses his brown skin with a gorgeous warmth, and emphasises the lines of veins where they run up his arms. “You look like you're in agony,” he says, covering his mouth with a hand. “Is it really that bad?” 
You nod miserably. 
He sits next to you carefully, but now you've awoken your pain it won't sleep, and each millilitre of the mattress's distension prompts a new layer of aching. “Sorry,” he says, sounding like he could cry for you, “why didn't you tell me last night?” 
James wraps his arms around you in a strange way, trying not to jostle you as he leans down to touch his nose to your forehead. 
“I didn't think it would be this bad.” 
He talks a little about the doctor's while you wait for Remus to come home. It isn't a waste of time, he insists, the GP is there for a reason. 
You're surprised when it's Sirius who shouts up the stairs. “You okay?” he calls. 
“Sirius?”
James shrugs. “Remus must've told him. We're fine!” 
A rush up the stairs. Sirius pauses by the door, frowning at you both in his bed. “What did you do?” 
“Well, I didn't mean to,” you say. 
“Not you, darling. James, I told you to look after her, all that equipment freaks me out, and Remus agrees.” 
James sighs. “He doesn't mean that.” 
Sirius goes to sit with you but stops upon noticing your wince, and instead flops down on the floor near the wardrobe with his phone to his ear. “I'll get an emergency appointment.” 
“This isn't an emergency,” you say. 
“It is for you. You'll need a sick note sorted anyways.” 
“But it's not that bad.” 
“Sweetheart,” Sirius says, smiling at you softly, an uncommon expression on him, though not unseen, “I know when you've had a big cry.” 
He gets put on hold, saving you the further ache of the line music while James strokes your temple. You attempt to hide how much your back hurts, but you're hurting bad and the knowledge that it's not about to go away soon is genuinely scary. 
Remus understands uncertain pain. He's last to come home but certainly not the least concerned, shoving his laptop case onto Sirius’ dresser, freeing his hands in favour of your face. “Is it bad?” he asks, looking between you and James for an answer. 
“Not really,” you say. James’ face must say differently. 
“What painkillers have you taken?” he asks quickly, “I have co-codamols, did you take paracetamol? You can't have them at the same time.” 
He frowns deeply at your daunted look. “You haven't taken them already, have you? They're very strong by themselves, with paracetamol as well, you'd–” 
“I haven't taken anything,” you admit. 
Sirius sighs and rubs his nose into his palm. “Jesus.” 
“Oh,” Remus says, hands especially tender, even as he laughs, “of course you haven't.” 
“I was a bit distracted.” 
He sobers, stroking the fat of your cheek and then leaning down for a careful kiss. “Of course. Haven't eaten anything either, I suppose?” 
“No, sorry.” 
He kisses you again and pulls away. “That's okay. What about you, Jamie, did you eat?” 
They take care of you in their different ways, in the same way they take care of one another. “No,” James says, “but I have it. Swap places with me, I'll make dinner while we wait for the GP to answer.” 
“You can make supper at the same time,” Sirius jokes.
You laugh and hurt your back. He is very, very sorry. 
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viisator · 1 month ago
Text
Because I loved you. P.Sunghoon.
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Pairings: Park Sunghoon X F!Reader
Genre: Phycological thriller, Tragedy, Romance.
Warning: Kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, Obsession.
Not Proofread
Description: Park Sunghoon has always loved you; for two years, he watched over you by your room's window, in school, in the neighbourhood, in the park, everywhere. Then, one day, you drop your wallet somewhere, and before you lose your mind, he comes to you with a smile, handing your lost wallet to you. Then that's when it all started, you talked, you became somewhat friends, then he invited you to his luxury yacht, then there was a storm, then you were stuck with him.
1st person's and 2nd's pov.
(This is inspired by Lucy Christopher's 'Stolen' novel.)
• • • • •
I remembered how I desperately tried to talk to you when they took me away. How I kept crying asking my mom to let me see you. But they all said the same things over and over again: You manipulated me. It was my survival instinct. I don't actually know what I'm saying. It's Stockholm Syndrome. I'm not thinking straight. I'm crazy. But you know what, Sunghoon? They're wrong. They just don't know. But I don't hate them, they just don't understand. But you know, right? That's not true; you didn't manipulate me, and I'm not crazy because I do love you. They just don't want to accept that.
They said you took me. I know that. You kidnapped me after making me believe a storm flipped your yacht and the waves took us to an island in nowhere. But it was so well prepared, and you didn't seem frightened or shocked we were stuck on an island in nowhere. When I asked you why you're not freaking out, you said it's best to stay calm in situations like this. Of course, it isn't true because you actually constructed that lie to make me trust you, huh? The thing is, I'm glad you did.
Then you taught me how to make a fishing rod, how to catch bait and how to make a fire. I remembered how you held my hand as you guided me to the shore, and we caught fish together. You even laughed when I fell into the water, and I hated how I loved your laugh then. Then I tried to escape and fight you. Do you remember? How did I kick you and punch you as I tried to get away? But the island is a small circle, I only run for a few minutes, and I'm back to you again; I cried so much I fell onto the sand, and you watched me with your sad eyes. You just crouched down in front of me as you watched me cry, whispering it's better this way, just you and me, and you didn't touch me, just muttered how you'd never hurt me.
"I never would've taken you here- never would've risked your life to drown on that storm. But I love you and- and your parents wouldn't approve of me..." You whispered as you drew patterns on the sand, but I knew you weren't looking at your lines on the sand because your eyes were sad watching me cry.
"You don't even accept me, but you will. I know you will. You'll accept this place too."
I just kept crying, crying and crying and crying, until I realized the sky was orange and pink, and you had already made the fire. It wasn't the last time I cried and tried to escape, but you always seemed to catch me, and at the same time, it felt like you were saving me.
I remembered the third time I tried to get away, when I dragged a long fallen tree to the shore while you slept, thinking it would serve me as a boat and take me to a wider land where I could go back and tell you to the police. I dragged the dried tree until it floated and the water reached my chest, I tried to climb the tree then. The tree wasn't thick nor wide, It was almost the size of my legs combined but my legs were still bigger, so when I hopped on it I flipped, I managed to hold my breath when I hit the water, but my head hit a rock too, so there's a momentary pause and I gasped and my lungs hurt and my ears ringing, but you lift me and dragged me to shore, to the sand and muttered how I shouldn't have tried to escape, then you made me puke the waters out with your index and middle fingers touching the inside of my throat and vomited, then you went to the trees and found herbs I cannot name and dressed the wound I didn't know existed on my head. I knew then that you did save me.
The second time I nearly died- minus the storm- was when I decided to die was better than being stuck on that island with my captor. You, Sunghoon.
You were out in the trees, in the woods. I stared blankly at the waves, listening to them splash. Then there was this magnet that pulled me closer to it, so I stood and followed the retreating waves, imagining my mom waiting for me with my new ironed school uniform after I woke up, my breakfast waiting on the dining table. I saw my dad sneaking behind my mom handing me twenty dollars because I aced my precalculus. I heard my sister singing with the karaoke, dedicating the song to her crush as she ranted about how she was stuck in her art class. I feel my brother's hug as he congratulates me on my new award. Then I saw you blur, shining with the sun, your image dancing with the water as I closed my eyes. Right then I thought I just died. But you woke me up again, resurrected me as I liked to call it.
I didn't try to escape after that.
When they took me away from you, I didn't close my eyes, I just cried and watched you the whole time they dragged us both away from each other, then you mouthed: It's okay. You're safe.
But the thing is, Sunghoon, I'm not. I don't think I am safe. You weren't there when they took me to a white room with nothing else. They asked me all these kinds of questions. I didn't know what to answer and just burst out crying, calling your name, then they took me to a different room, left me alone and then I slept. Very. Very long.
It was my mom's face the first thing I saw then I woke up. Not you. I was so used to seeing you first when the sun hit my face and I woke up. So I asked about you.
"Honey, it's okay, don't worry about him; he can't hurt you anymore." My mom was saying as she hiccuped all the words, my dad on her side rubbing his hand on her arm.
But they're wrong. You never hurt me. So I shook my head and told them the truth. They didn't believe me, they said you manipulated me. Which isn't the truth either.
Since then, I realized they already made up the truth they wanted to believe. When I told them my truth, they shook their heads and my parents cried more, saying what did that monster do to their daughter.
Then I realized I was in a hospital bed, my sister sitting by my side, pealing me a tangerine.
"He's not a monster," I said, anger in my shaky voice. She didn't say anything, just pealed more tangerine as she wiped her tears from time to time. Three months after that, I told her everything that happened between us and what you are, and she cried all the time, not saying anything just saying sorry she wasn't a good sister. I still don't know how is her apology connected to us, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The thing is, they didn't know you saved me, they didn't know you cared for me. They didn't know how you taught me to open a coconut fresh from the tree and how you taught me how to catch a fish with the rod we both made.
You didn't look at me in the courtroom; I was so sad because that's the only moment I'm allowed to see you. Then you said your testimony, and it broke my heart because you're agreeing with them; you said their truth, not our truth. When they asked you if you've been stalking me for two years you said guilty. When they asked if you planned to take me away- kidnapped me, you said guilty. Then, when they asked if you lured me to get into your yacht, you said guilty. The thing is, you never lured me; I went willingly with you because you were supposed to show me something, right?
When it was my turn to speak, I told them our truth, my truth. I told them you're not a monster, you saved me, you didn't hurt me, you never touched me the way I didn't like, you never said anything to hurt me, and I saw everyone make a face; my mother shook her head and cried. When I looked at you, your eyes were pleading, as if to say, 'Please don't, it's for the best.' but how is it the best? We're so far from each other. But still, after all those things I said, they still took you away. I didn't feel like I won the trial because my lawyer kept saying I was in psychological confusion, and the judge believed it too, so they took me away.
Then therapy came, and my psychiatrist kept asking things that I hated answering because I just kept remembering how you let me go and pushed me away, despite you bringing me there on that small island with you.
"I really love music" My voice penetrated the sound of waves hitting the sand and rocks, I'm not looking at the constellation anymore, and I can feel you're not either because I feel your gaze on me, and it encouraged me to continue, knowing you're listening.
"I play the guitar sometimes. My dad bought it for me when I got a really good grade at school. I'm not exceptionally good, I'm not really good at strumming or plucking." I know my voice wasn't that loud because you leaned closer to hear me; I could almost feel your shoulder brush mine, but you still kept your distance; I kind of hoped you'd lean more, touch me, and cage me in your strong arms. But you didn't, so I go on.
"There's nothing to listen to here, unlike home, only the water," I said, looking at the calm sea dance in front of us.
"And insects." You said. I nod.
"And insects," I repeated.
"And you. And me."
"Yes, and us," I repeated again. I didn't have to glance at you to know you were frowning, not in confusion or anything, just looking at me as if you wanted to embrace me and mould me inside you until we were one.
I inhaled sharply, and the smell of the sea and sand entered my nostrils. I don't glance at you, I look at you fully, because somehow, I'm not afraid of you anymore, I'm not scared of the deepness and darkness obscure of your eyes, I feel like I want to drown in them at that moment, and I wished you'd never let me go. I feel my eyes burn somehow, maybe because of the sadness those intense eyes are looking at me with, or because I still really want to go back home, or maybe because I don't want to leave at all, I don't want to escape you. But I said it anyway.
"Would you take me there? At home?" I whispered. But you heard. You always heard. Then I feel my cheeks wet, then I see your hand hesitate to wipe my tears in my peripheral vision, as if afraid to touch me. But how could you? How could you hesitate to touch me when you've taken me, carried me to your little island over the sea, how come you never touched me?
I see the hurt in your eyes; you parted your lips then closed them again, and your frown slowly turned to something else, something trembling, but there's still the ceased in your brows as if you're physically hurting, and your eyes have tears on the corner. Unlike you, I didn't shy away when I reached out and ran my thumb across the edge of your eyes. You didn't flinch; you leaned more, and you looked more in pain as I leaned even closer, close enough to take your lips with my teeth, close enough to wrap all my being to your body. But you didn't lean anymore closer, so I had to do it, right? But why are you pushing me away?
"I can sing to you..." You whispered, your voice strained. You have your hands on my shoulders keeping distance between us, and I cry even more because of that, I don't know if you knew I was crying because you didn't want me close, or because you knew you'd still have to let me go even if I'm locking my arms around you. Why are you pushing me away? I thought you took me here because you want me, because it's only us in the world, that you saved me, that you love me?
"But if you really wanna go..." You said, now your tears are running down your cheeks too, I wipe them again.
"I know a boat- you can go." I didn't know if I let my sob out because I knew you'd never say those words, that you'd never let me leave even if I begged you to let me go, but I was wrong, very wrong, wasn't I? So I didn't say anything, I didn't say that that's not the right answer, that you shouldn't be letting me go, that you should be caging me even more, but I leaned to you, catching your lips with mine. I can still hear the waves muffled in the background, but it's only my sob and the beat of our hearts I can clearly hear.
You pull me closer. At last. You hold my waist very gently, you run your hands on my hair and hold my head as I push myself onto you further, opening my mouth for you to kiss me more, to feel me more so you wouldn't have to send me away, even though I was the one who asked you to.
I don't want to say anymore after that, but of course, I could never forget; it was the most precious memory of us, but I don't want anyone to know it's only for us, and they will be checking my letter before they send it to you. My mom didn't want this to be sent to you, because it's only part of my therapy Dr. Clarington told me to do, but I insisted I want you to read it too, and mom will be checking it first before you can read it. I hope you know I love you, even though right now all the people in here say I'm only manipulated, that it was my survival instinct to be attached to you and I don't know anymore, I just want you to know I always dream of what happened that night, between us, and the other days and night before when I fought like an animal and drowned in the sea only to be resurrected by you. When you told me you took me because you love me. I could never forget it.
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jburrgf · 1 month ago
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Bags.
Can you see me? I'm waiting for the right time. I can't read you, but if you want, the pleasure's all mine. Can you see me using everything to hold back? I guess this could be worse, walking out the door with your bags.
pairing: joe burrow high school! x book nerdy y/n reader.
summary: high school sweethearts, book nerdy girl, shy-misterious jock, player x nerd girl.
description: joe starts going on s/n book club, and one day they got stuck together at the classroom by mistake.
It was a truth universally acknowledged in my high school that Joe Burrow, the star quarterback, was unattainable. Joe Burrow is basically a myth. He’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time—on the football field, leading our team to state championships, and in my honors classes, where he sits quietly, blending into the background. He’s the quarterback, but he's not what people expect. He’s shy, nerdy, and mysterious.
I’ve always been invisible to Joe Burrow.
I mean, not exactly invisible—we’ve gone to the same school since we were in kindergarten, sat in the same classrooms, shared the same air—but for someone like him, I might as well have been a ghost. I always thought he had no idea who I was, just another face in the sea of people who adored him.
Still, I was ridiculously in love with him.
I had been hopelessly, head-over-heels, and completely smitten with Joe Burrow since the seventh grade. It wasn’t just that he was good-looking, or that he was the star quarterback—although those things certainly didn’t hurt. No, what had drawn me to Joe was how kind he seemed to be to everyone, how he went out of his way to help people even when he didn’t have to. There was something about the way he carried himself, a quiet humility that made him different from the other guys on the football team.
Still, none of that mattered because, as far as I was concerned, I was just another face in the crowd.
So, when I saw Joe walk into the same after-school book club that I attended every Tuesday, I was shocked. The school's book club is a quiet, nerdy escape for me after hours, and apparently for him too. At first, I thought he had wandered into the wrong room, but then I saw him sit down and pull out a copy of Great Gatsby. The fact that the quarterback was not only in the same room as me but also reading the same book threw me completely off-guard. For weeks, I couldn’t focus on anything but how to avoid making eye contact with him while somehow hoping he’d notice me.
But he didn’t.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself every single time I snuck a glance at him. He was quiet, focused, and didn’t engage much during discussions, unlike me. I always had my hand up, always contributing to the conversation, but never to him directly.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, and the faint scent of old paper filled the school library. I sat in my usual spot, the far corner of the room where the sunlight barely touched. My hands played absently with the spine of the novel in my lap, but my mind was elsewhere. Specifically, it was on Joe Burrow.
He was late to the book club meeting again, not that it surprised me. I was used to him sliding in just as Mrs. Fowler began her rambling analysis of whatever novel we were discussing. His late arrivals had almost become routine. He’d offer a sheepish grin, mutter a quick apology, and take his seat across the table from me. Every time, my heart did that ridiculous thing—skipping a beat or two—like I wasn’t used to seeing him in the same room after months of this.
He was a mystery I couldn’t quite solve. In class, he was quiet, smart, but always reserved. In the hallways, he blended in despite the attention the football team got. And here, in book club, of all places, he sat a few feet away, focused, intense, and always... distant. It drove me crazy, even though I had no right to expect anything from him.
I sighed, glancing at the clock. Mrs. Fowler was wrapping up her talk about the The Great Gatsby, and I hadn’t heard a single word. The meeting was almost over, and there was still no sign of Joe. Maybe today he wasn’t coming at all. Maybe—
The door creaked open, and there he was, slipping inside the room as quietly as possible, his eyes scanning the room. As expected, his gaze landed on the empty seat across from me, and my pulse quickened. He muttered his usual apology, and Mrs. Fowler barely acknowledged him. I kept my eyes down, pretending to be engrossed in the pages of my book, but my mind was far from calm. I could feel his presence like a warm weight across from me.
The minutes ticked by, and the meeting ended, the rest of the club members gathering their things to leave. I lingered, as usual, taking my time. Joe remained seated too, flipping through his copy of Gatsby, even though he’d barely participated today. I stole a glance at him, hoping he wouldn’t catch me. But as fate would have it, our eyes met.
My heart jumped into my throat, and I quickly looked away, my face heating up. Get a grip, Y/N, I scolded myself. He’s just a guy. A guy who probably doesn’t even—
“Hey, Y/N,” Joe’s voice broke through my thoughts, soft and hesitant.
I blinked, turning back to him, my heart now hammering in my chest. “Oh, hey,” I managed to say, surprised he’d even spoken to me.
He gave me a small, nervous smile, like he wasn’t sure if he should have said something or not. “Did you like the book?”
I blinked again. “The book?” I repeated, feeling like an idiot. “Oh, yeah. I mean, it’s a classic, right?” Great response, I thought sarcastically.
Joe nodded, and for a second, it seemed like he might say something more, but then he fell silent, his attention shifting to the clock on the wall. “I guess we better—”
Suddenly, the lights flickered, and the sound of a door clicking shut made both of us freeze. I glanced toward the entrance of the library, my stomach dropping as the realization hit. “No way…”
Joe got up, striding over to the door and trying the handle. It didn’t budge. He pushed it again, harder this time, but nothing happened. “I think… we’re locked in,” he said, turning back to me with a bewildered look.
For a moment, I just stared at him, processing the situation. Locked in? With Joe Burrow?
I stood up, clutching my book to my chest as I walked over to the door, peering through the glass. The hallway was dark, deserted. “The janitor must have locked up,” I muttered, feeling a strange mixture of panic and disbelief. “They didn’t notice we were still in here.”
Joe let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Well, this is… unexpected.”
I glanced up at him, the reality of the situation sinking in. We were stuck. Together. For who knows how long.
“Yeah,” I breathed, my heart racing. “Unexpected.”
We sat in silence for a while, both of us too awkward to speak. Joe leaned back against the wall, his long legs stretched out in front of him, while I perched on the edge of a desk, nervously flipping through the pages of my book. The quiet between us was almost suffocating, and I could feel my pulse in my ears.
“Do you think they’ll notice we’re gone soon?” I asked after what felt like forever.
Joe shrugged, his eyes flicking to the window. “Maybe. But I think most people have already gone home.”
I swallowed, trying not to let the panic rise. “Great. Just… great.”
Joe chuckled again, and I glanced at him, surprised by the sound. It was soft, genuine, and I realized then how rare it was to hear him laugh. His eyes caught mine, and for a moment, the tension between us eased.
“You don’t seem like the type to panic easily,” he said, a teasing note in his voice.
I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know me very well, then.”
The silence stretched out between us, heavy with unspoken thoughts. I could feel the warmth of Joe’s presence even though we weren’t sitting close. My mind raced, but my words seemed stuck somewhere in my throat, tangled up with nerves. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, watching as he fidgeted with the cover of his book, his fingers tracing the edges like he wasn’t sure what to do with them.
“Um,” I started, then immediately regretted it. The sound of my own voice startled me, and I felt my cheeks heat up. “What… what about you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “Why did you join the club?”
Joe shifted a little, glancing at me briefly before his gaze darted back to the floor. He shrugged, his shoulders rising in that quiet, unsure way that made him seem far less like the confident quarterback everyone assumed he was.
“I guess… I just like books,” he muttered, his voice soft. “It’s easier than… you know, everything else.”
I nodded, understanding what he meant. “Yeah. It’s kind of nice to disappear into a story sometimes. I get the feeling. Nobody know me."
Joe gave a small nod, still not quite meeting my eyes. There was a vulnerability in the way he held himself that surprised me. Here was Joe Burrow—the guy everyone talked about, the quarterback who led our school’s football team to victory—and yet, in this quiet room, he seemed almost… unsure. Just like me.
The room felt smaller suddenly, like the space between us wasn’t as wide as it had been moments ago. I opened my mouth to say something—anything—but the words caught in my throat, tangled up with my nerves. I wasn’t used to talking to Joe, and now that we were alone, I found myself hyper-aware of every small movement he made, every glance he sent in my direction.
After what felt like an eternity, Joe cleared his throat, the sound quiet but startling in the stillness. “I’ve… always noticed you,” he said suddenly, his voice barely audible.
My heart stopped. I blinked, unsure if I’d heard him correctly. “What?” The word slipped out before I could stop it.
Joe’s face flushed a deep red, and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor. “I—I mean, not in a weird way,” he stammered, his words rushed and awkward. “Just… you’re always there, you know? In class. In book club. And, uh, you’re really smart. I just… noticed.”
I stared at him, completely at a loss for words. Joe Burrow— Joe Burrow —had noticed me? My heart raced, and I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I was too stunned, too flustered.
Joe shifted uncomfortably, clearly regretting his confession. “Sorry, that was weird. I didn’t mean to—”
“No!” I blurted out, louder than I intended. I winced at the sound of my own voice, feeling my face grow even hotter. “I mean, it’s not weird. I just… I didn’t know.”
Joe’s eyes flicked up to meet mine, and for a moment, we just stared at each other. There was something raw and uncertain in his gaze, something that made my stomach flip in a way I didn’t fully understand. He looked just as nervous as I felt, and somehow, that made it easier to breathe.
“I didn’t think you’d ever notice me,” I admitted quietly, my voice shaky but honest.
Joe’s eyes widened, and he shook his head quickly. “No, that’s… I mean, how could I not? You’re…” He trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words. “You’re kind of amazing.”
My heart stopped again. Amazing? Me?
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t used to compliments—especially not from Joe Burrow. I could barely manage to look at him without feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. So instead of speaking, I just offered a small, shy smile, hoping it was enough to show him I appreciated what he said.
The silence between us stretched on, but it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. It felt like we’d crossed some invisible line, like something had shifted between us. Neither of us knew what to do with that shift, but neither of us seemed to want to break it, either.
After what felt like forever, Joe glanced toward the door, then back at me. “Do you think… we’ll be stuck here for a while?”
I shrugged, feeling a strange sense of calm wash over me despite the situation. “Maybe. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Joe nodded, but instead of looking anxious like he had before, he just leaned back against the wall, his posture relaxing a little. I could feel the tension in my own shoulders easing too, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn’t mind the idea of being stuck in this room. Not with Joe.
“I’ve always thought you were too smart for me,” he confessed, avoiding eye contact as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t know how to talk to you. And then, everyone expects me to be this... athlete. Like that’s all I’m good for.”
I was speechless for a second. How could someone like Joe, someone so confident on the field, be so unsure of himself off it? That quiet moment between us, surrounded by old paperbacks and classroom desks, felt like something out of a story I’d read before. And suddenly, all the reasons I’d convinced myself he wouldn’t ever notice me melted away.
“You don’t seem like the typical quarterback,” I said before I could stop myself.
Joe raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips. “What does that mean?”
I blushed, realizing how that sounded. “I just mean… you’re here. In book club. That’s not exactly where you’d expect the star athlete to be.”
He laughed, the sound soft and self-deprecating. “Yeah, I guess not. But I’ve always liked reading. It’s just… different from what everyone expects.”
I nodded, understanding what he meant. We sat in companionable silence after that, the quiet no longer feeling so heavy.
As the minutes ticked by, the air between us softened, and the weight of our earlier awkwardness started to lift. Joe’s posture became more relaxed, and for the first time, I felt like we weren’t just two strangers stuck in the same room. We were two people who, despite everything, had more in common than I ever realized.
“So,” Joe started again, his voice low but steady, “if you like reading so much, do you have a favorite book?”
I bit my lip, considering his question. It seemed like a simple one, but the answer was anything but. There were so many stories I loved for so many different reasons. “It’s hard to pick just one,” I admitted. “But I guess, if I had to choose… maybe *Jane Eyre*.”
Joe’s eyebrows shot up, and he tilted his head slightly. “*Jane Eyre*? Really?”
I nodded, feeling a little self-conscious but also oddly proud. “Yeah. I mean, it’s more than just a romance. It’s about finding yourself and standing up for what you deserve, even when the world expects you to settle.”
Joe’s lips quirked up into a soft smile, and for a moment, I wondered if he was laughing at me. But then, he nodded thoughtfully. “I get that. It’s... about being strong, right? Even when things don’t go your way.”
“Exactly.” I smiled, surprised that he seemed to understand. “I guess I always admired Jane for that. She never let anyone make her feel small.”
Joe’s smile faded just a little, his eyes dropping to the floor again. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I think I get that more than you’d think.”
His words hung in the air between us, and I felt my chest tighten. I wanted to ask what he meant, but the look on his face told me it wasn’t something he’d share easily. He shifted, rubbing the back of his neck again—a nervous habit I was beginning to notice. When he finally spoke again, his voice was softer than before.
“People always assume things about me,” he said, his gaze still fixed on the floor. “Like, because I’m the quarterback, I have it all figured out. But… most of the time, I don’t. I feel like everyone’s watching, expecting me to be someone I’m not.”
I stared at him, feeling a sudden pang of sympathy. I had never considered what it might be like to be Joe Burrow. To have all that pressure on your shoulders, to be constantly seen but never really known. “That sounds… hard,” I said quietly.
Joe nodded, his expression still serious. “It is. But… then there are moments like this.” He glanced up at me, his eyes meeting mine, and my breath caught in my throat. “Where it feels like maybe… I don’t have to pretend.”
For a second, neither of us said anything. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and the room suddenly felt a lot smaller. Joe’s eyes stayed locked on mine, and I could see the vulnerability there, the quiet need for something real—something he didn’t have to fake.
I swallowed hard, trying to steady my voice. “You don’t have to pretend with me,” I whispered.
Joe’s gaze softened, and the tension between us thickened, but not in the awkward way it had before. This was different. There was something unsaid in the air, something I wasn’t sure either of us was brave enough to address. But it was there, lingering in the space between us, waiting for one of us to make the next move.
Joe shifted again, pushing off the wall and taking a small step toward me. My heart pounded louder in my ears as he came closer, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel the heat radiating off him, and suddenly, all the air seemed to disappear from the room.
“So, what book are you reading lately?” I asked.
His eyes met mine then, blue and steady. “Oh, um... just some science fiction stuff. I’m not as into the classics like you seem to be.”
I blushed. “How do you know what I read?”
Joe smiled, a little shyly, looking down at his hands. “I pay attention more than you think.” He stopped for a moment and got back talking again. “I’ve liked you for a long time. But I never thought you’d be interested in me. I mean, you’re... you. And I’m just... well, I’m just the guy who throws a football.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Joe Burrow—*the* Joe Burrow—liked me? All this time?
“I—I don’t even know what to say,” I stammered, still reeling from the shock.
He glanced up at me then, his blue eyes more vulnerable than I’d ever seen them. “You don’t have to say anything. I just... I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time, but I was too nervous. I didn’t think I was good enough for you.”
I shook my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Joe, I’ve liked you for as long as I can remember.”
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. The room felt impossibly small, like the world outside had shrunk away and all that existed was the two of us.
“I never asked you out because I thought you were too smart for me. You always know what you want and you’re so intellectual and funny, and smart, and beautiful…” Joe admitted softly, his gaze still locked on mine. “I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with a guy like me.”
I couldn’t believe it. All this time, I had thought he was out of my league, that he didn’t even know I existed. And yet, here he was, confessing that he felt the same insecurities about me.
“I always thought you didn’t even notice me,” I whispered.
He smiled then, a small, soft smile that made my heart ache in the best way. “I noticed.”
My breath caught, and suddenly, it felt like the world had narrowed down to just the two of us. Joe took another step closer, so close now that I could feel the warmth of his body against mine. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking down to my lips and then back up to my eyes.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. All I knew was that Joe Burrow was standing inches away from me, looking at me like he wanted to close the distance between us.
He leaned in slightly, his breath warm against my skin. My heart raced, and for a moment, I thought—this is it. I thought he was going to kiss me.
But just as the space between us seemed to disappear, the sound of keys jingling echoed from the hallway. The door creaked open, and the janitor appeared, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw us.
“Oh!” he said, startled. “Didn’t realize anyone was still in here. You two okay?”
Joe stepped back quickly, his face flushing red. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as well, the moment shattered in an instant. “Uh, yeah,” Joe muttered, running a hand through his hair nervously. “We’re good. Just… stuck.”
The janitor chuckled, oblivious to the tension in the room as he held the door open for us. “Well, you’re free to go now.”
I glanced at Joe, my heart still racing from the almost-moment we’d shared. His eyes met mine briefly before he looked away, his face still red. Neither of us spoke as we gathered our things and made our way to the door.
But as we stepped into the hallway, Joe’s hand brushed against mine, just for a second. It was brief, but enough to send a jolt of electricity through me.
“Y/N,” Joe said softly, his voice hesitant, “about what I was going to say before…”
I looked up at him, my heart still racing. “Yeah?”
He swallowed, his eyes flicking away for a moment before returning to mine. “Would you, um… maybe want to go to the spring dance with me? If you’re not, you know, already going with someone.”
My breath caught, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. He looked so nervous, standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets, waiting for my answer.
I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me. “I’d love to.”
Joe's face lit up with relief, a shy smile pulling the corners of his mouth. "Great. I was so afraid of you saying no to me."
"I could never," I said, honestly.
"That's... that's perfect." He agreed with me. "So, I'll pick you up around 7:40 pm, okay?"
I agreed with my head, giving him a smile back. But instead of Joe moving away from me, he started walking towards me. Slowly, making my heart throb inside my chest. The last thing I saw was his eye just before mine, and then he kissed me.
Like a real kiss. A kiss from the movies, that kind of kiss you say to your children. His lips were soft, his mouth tasted like peppermint. His hands were lost, but he found his way to the place I liked - my waist.
The boy walked away, looking into my eyes soon after. I just couldn't believe it. He smiled, shy, his cheeks turning red at an extreme speed, showing that he was also nervous. Nervous just like me.
"So..." He started talking again, but suddenly stopped. "Sorry, I got lost. I didn't expect this to happen today. Actually, I wanted to, but not in a strange way, you know-
"Joey." I called him by his nickname and saw his eyes getting brighter. "It's okay. I got you. See you at 7:00 at my house?"
He smiled, winking at me. "I'll see you on Tuesday." He smiled again. "We can read our books together after the club.
"It looks like a plan!" It was the last thing I said to him when I turned my back on him.
We separated in the hallway, but as I walked towards the exit, I couldn't stop smiling. I had come to the book club just expecting another quiet afternoon. Instead, I left with the promise of something new—something real. Something real with Joey.
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solxamber · 1 month ago
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Again its me again of the seraphim request😭
Can you do a part 2 of ‘The Cat’ (i dont know the name, rip💔) with Idia and Rook, Vil!
And do take your time writing this later if you’re busy with the other requests or irl things
Vil, Rook, Idia with 'The Cat'! Reader
hi! I'm pretty sure the cat's name is quite literally just 'The Cat' lol and thanks for waiting <3
Part 1 with Jade, Jamil, Azul
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Vil Schoenheit:
Vil doesn’t tolerate nonsense, but your catlike, elusive nature is an exception he begrudgingly accepts. He knows you're always nearby, watching with those sharp, observant eyes, even if you’ve seemingly vanished from the room.
There’s a part of him that appreciates your ability to slip away from prying eyes—though he'd never admit it aloud.
"You really must learn to make an entrance properly," Vil remarks, not bothering to glance up from his mirror as you reappear, perched silently on a windowsill.
"And ruin the fun?" you reply smoothly, your voice lilting with amusement. "I thought you appreciated subtlety."
Vil's eyes narrow in the mirror, his reflection catching yours. "Subtlety is an art. Vanishing into the shadows is a parlor trick. Though, I suppose you have your charm."
You smirk, lazily stretching. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Vil sighs but can’t hide the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Don't push it."
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Rook Hunt:
Rook finds your elusive and catlike behavior endlessly fascinating, like a puzzle he’s always eager to solve. The thrill of the hunt, of tracking you down in your hiding places or catching a glimpse of your vanishing figure, delights him more than he lets on.
“Ah, mon cher mystère, always slipping through my fingers,” Rook calls out theatrically, his voice carrying through the empty corridor.
You appear just behind him, your voice low and teasing, “Perhaps you’re not as sharp as you think, huntsman.”
Rook spins with that ever-present smile, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Oh, but the chase, it only adds to your allure! Each time you vanish, I find myself more intrigued."
You step closer, lips curving into a knowing smile. "Catch me, then."
Rook’s grin widens. "One day, I just might." But even he knows, deep down, that the game is far too fun to ever truly win.
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Idia Shroud:
Idia isn’t exactly a fan of social interaction, so your tendency to vanish into thin air doesn’t bother him. In fact, he finds it kind of reassuring—after all, you’re never gone for long.
He’s used to the way you silently reappear, blending into the background, just like an NPC who pops up unexpectedly.
"You always show up when I least expect it," Idia mutters, eyes glued to his screen. He doesn’t look over, but you know he’s noticed.
"Surprise," you whisper from behind him, your voice almost purring. Idia jumps, then groans. "Do you have to do that? It’s like a horror game—except the jumpscares are real."
You chuckle, slipping around to his side. "I’m just keeping things interesting." He side-eyes you, hair flickering slightly. "Yeah, interesting, sure. You’re like, everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's... kinda OP."
You grin, leaning close enough for him to hear the smirk in your voice. "Better than being predictable." Idia gives a small, awkward laugh. "Touché."
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Masterlist
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ashwhowrites · 3 months ago
Text
Dungeons and Revenge
Plot- Eddie finds out the new guy in Hellfire is dating his ex girlfriend
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Eddie watched intensely as he rolled his dice, along with Hellfire. The dice dinged against the table, all the boys standing up from their seats as they waited for it to land.
"THAT'S A HIT!" Eddie declared
The boys cheered as they defeated the dragon, ending the campaign for the night.
"HELL YES!" Mike cheered, high-fiving Dustin.
"Good game, boys. Until next time." Eddie said. The boys began packing up, and Eddie walked over to his newest member, Justin.
"J-man, amazing play," Eddie said, patting him on the shoulder. Justin smiled and stood up.
"Thanks, Eddie. Great campaign. It was sick to see all the dragons break apart and force us to save ourselves yet help each other."
Justin had been a member for a little over a month and Eddie hated to admit he was damn good. Not as good as Eddie though, no one ever was.
Eddie was always skeptical of letting new people join, but Justin earned his place and Eddie was starting to like him. He was a senior, a bit taller and more muscular than Eddie. Much shorter hair but just as dark, and a lighter shade of brown eyes.
The group all walked out into the parking lot, still talking about the amazing ending of the night. The conversation faded into the background when Eddie spotted a similar car in the parking lot.
"I was positive I was going to die once the monster spotted me," Dustin said, Mike added on but Eddie was still lost in staring at the parked car. He knew that car, it was hers. Y/N, his ex-girlfriend, is the girl he was still helplessly in love with.
Their relationship ended over five months ago and he still thought about her. He thought about their stupid fight, her wet eyes, and the loud bang as she slammed the door. He has barely seen her since, she did everything to avoid him. He looked for her everywhere, wanting to beg on his knees for another chance.
"Yo, Eddie you good?" Justin asked, taking Eddie out of his thoughts.
Eddie coughed and tore his eyes away, looking at the group of boys who stopped talking and were looking at him.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Who needs a ride?" Eddie asked, his eyes already looking back at her car.
"Not me, my girlfriend is picking me up," Justin said with a smile. That love-sick puppy looks in his eyes. A look Eddie was familiar with, the one he always had for Y/N.
"Dude! Do you have a girlfriend? Is she hot?" Gareth asked
"We are fairly new, been seeing her for about two weeks. Made it official last night." Justin said with a smile. "And she's the prettiest girl I've ever laid my eyes on."
"What's her name?" Dustin called after him, Justin already walking into the parking lot.
"Y/N," Justin called back.
Eddie felt his blood run cold, and air stopped entering his lungs. He felt like he was suffocating. All the boys knew Y/N was a touchy subject, and they feared for Eddie's reaction.
They all watched as he walked to the familiar car. A car Eddie spent many times in, so many memories flashed through his head; their first kiss through her window, their first time having sex in the backseat, and where he admitted he loved her.
Eddie tried to fight back tears and failed. A few tears ran down his face as Justin was in the passenger seat. Eddie was thankful he couldn't see her because that would have hurt more. He watched as they drove off, no one knowing what to say.
~
Eddie slammed the trailer door behind him as he raced to his room, storming past a worried Wayne as he locked his bedroom door. He threw his bag on the ground and collapsed on his bed. He screamed into his pillow, and then the screams turned into sobs.
He ignored as Wayne knocked on his door. He couldn't believe she moved on already. He wanted her to be in the same boat as him, he wanted to be the only boy on her mind. But the cold truth showed him he was nowhere in her mind.
He wanted to call, his fingers ghosting over the phone. But then he got a better idea, make her come to him. He wiped his face with his shirt and then grabbed his backpack. He tore it open and grabbed his dnd notebook.
~~~
Eddie was a wreck but tried his best to not show it. He hated that now whenever he saw Justin it hurt, and made him think about her. But he had a plan to get his revenge, to release his anger towards Justin for going after what was his.
The boys were nervous about playing now that they knew Justin was dating Eddie's ex-girlfriend. No one told Justin and he was oblivious to the target on his back. Dustin gulped when he saw the smirk and glint in Eddie's eyes.
~
"Yikes, Justin. Looks like you got hit by Lich again!" Eddie crackled, loving the way the boy groaned.
"Let me get in the room and see if I can help," Mike said.
Justin sighed in relief, hoping the rest of the group could join him as they took turns. But his hope was lost when Lich seemed to only target him. Justin thought hard about what he should do, he raised his shield and began to battle.
The boys watched as Eddie and Justin were going head to head. Justin rolled and was successful, able to use his shield as he struck at Lich.
"Remind me your AC?" Eddie asked, a happy smile on his face as he shook the dice.
"I feel like you would remember since this is the 5th hit in 2 rounds... but it's a 17." Justin sighed, starting to get annoyed that Eddie seemed to only target his player during the whole session.
Eddie nodded, enjoying the way he got Justin riled up. He was acting out of jealousy but so what. Justin is winning in life so Eddie might as well win in the game. Eddie rolled his dice onto the table, standing up to see over his books.
"Good! I rolled an 18." He wasn't afraid to show how smug he was, sitting back down with a cocky smirk.
~
The boys were less excited as they walked out of the session, almost no one spoke. Justin was slightly fuming at Eddie but he'd never challenge the master. But that's what Eddie wanted, he wanted Justin to get in his face. Just anything to give Eddie a reason to sucker punch him right in the nose.
Eddie stayed back, knowing he couldn't stand to see Justin going to her again.
Justin sighed as he got in the car, leaning over to softly peck Y/N's lips.
"How did it go?" Y/N asked, peeling out of the parking lot.
"Ass. I could barely fight back, Eddie kept hitting me from left and right. It almost felt like he was personally attacking me." Justin ranted. He had no idea what he did to piss him off.
Y/N rolled her eyes at Eddie's actions, and a bit of anxiety settled in her stomach as she knew why.
"I don't know what I did to him," Justin added
Y/N offered a small smile and moved her hand to softly rub his thigh as she kept her eyes on the road.
"Eddie used to be a good friend of mine, let me talk to him."
~
Eddie was watching the TV, with the volume on low to not disturb Wayne, when there were a few knocks on the door.
He groaned as he stood up, walking towards the door. He slightly cracked it, and his heart sped up when he saw her.
"Y/N?"
"We need to talk," she said, her arms crossed. Eddie opened the door and she walked past him. He closed the door and followed into his bedroom.
She sat on his bed as he walked in. He wanted to take a mental image of how she looked on his bed again. He walked towards her, softly reaching out to cup her face.
She pushed his hand away, and he gulped. He could already feel himself getting emotional as he continued to look at her.
"It's been so long," he said quietly, "I've missed seeing you."
She shook her head and stood up. Walking to the other side of the room to create more space.
"Why are you being a dick to Justin? He loved being part of Hellfire! And he was really upset tonight."
Eddie rolled his eyes and scoffed.
"He's whining about a game? Oh, come on, baby. It's a fucking game!" Eddie argued
"No, he's upset that you put a target on him and he has no idea why. But me? I've got a good idea why you are acting like a jackass," she fought back. Her eyes were hard but Eddie just loved having her eyes on him again.
"Why's that, sweetheart?" She wanted to smack the smirk off his face. She hated herself for how attracted she still was to him.
Ignoring the way the nicknames made her body heat up, she replied, "You found out about us and you got jealous. Which I'd like to remind you that you have no right to be jealous."
"No right?" Eddie laughed as he scoffed. "I'm fucking in love with you. Still, head over my feet for you, and you're dating some other guy!" His voice started to rise but he wasn't yelling.
"You broke up with me! Did you forget that? Did you remember that when you decided to have your pity party and take it out on a guy who seems to actually like me?" Y/N argued, she wasn't surprised by his behavior but she was surprised she'd still be dealing with it.
"I didn't BREAK UP WITH YOU!" He argued, his voice rising and rising.
"WELL YOU NEVER WENT AFTER ME!" She yelled back, throughout all the fighting they didn't notice how close they became. Their bodies were inches away, chest to chest.
"YOU TOLD ME NOT TO! I DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP SCREWING UP"
"YOU'RE ALWAYS SUPPOSED TO GO AFTER ME. BEG ME AND TELL ME YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME!" her voice cracked as her yelling turned into soft sobs, "but yo-ou let me leave, I waited in my car and you never came" she whimpered.
Eddie gulped as he watched the tears fall down her face. He stepped forward, closing any space they had between them. His hands cupped her wet cheeks and he bent slightly down so his eyes were level with hers.
"I wanted to follow you so badly. I wanted to walk up to you anytime I got just a second of you. I've failed many times at not listening to you and I thought I was doing what you wanted. Baby, if I knew all I had to do was run after you I would have run in a heartbeat." He said
She sniffled and tried not to melt into his hands. His touch on her skin and his body inches from hers, it's all she craved those long five months.
"You had five months, Eddie. Why now? Why now when I just started to move on?"
"I'm selfish and can't watch another person make you happy. Not when I know I can. If you want to move on, I can't stop you. But if I can offer exactly what he can, I will do it a thousand times better." He said, and before she could blink his lips pressed against hers.
She melted as his warm lips moved against hers. The similarity of the kiss made her heart flutter. She tried to fight it, her hands on his chest to push. But then his hands moved down to her waist and he pulled away, but just barely.
A broken whisper or whimper, she couldn't tell, fell from his lips and landed on hers,
"Please"
She shoved every thought away that told her it was a bad idea. And listened to the way her heart raced like it only did with him. Her actions were fast, her hands cupping his face as she kissed him as hard as she could.
They moved in perfect synchrony, their lips fit together. They clung to each other desperately, making sure the other couldn't go too far away.
They kissed until their lungs burned, begging for air. She pulled away but kept her touch on him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. If you give me another chance, I promise, I will always run after you. I'll pick you up kicking and screaming and bring you home." He pleaded.
This was the first time Y/N believed she ever saw Eddie break down and beg. He was always so damn stubborn, but now he cried and pleaded.
"What if you promise not to make me want to run away?" She joked, a tiny laugh leaving her lips. Eddie softly chuckled, sniffling.
"Anything you want and need," he said, softly kissing her lips again.
"What the hell do I tell Justin?" She asked
"I'll write it into the camping," Eddie joked, loving when she swatted at his chest.
Forgiveness is a long road and he was ready to walk it all.
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skay-ali · 1 month ago
Text
The Forgotten Daughter
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Chaper 4
“I don't think Alfred likes what you're doing,” a girl a few years older than him appeared out of nowhere, taking the boy by surprise.
“And who are you?” the boy asked you with an angry tone, still hiding in an expensive vase that adorned one of the tables.
“I'm ___ and believe me, I also tried to steal it and sell it, but Alfred discovered me and punished me by making me clean the mansion with him” you still had that smile from ear to ear since you started talking to him.
“Well that won't happen if he doesn't find out” he defended himself, hiding the vase in a bag “unless you tell him” he pointed out angrily, you were his loose end in this crime.
“I promise I won't say anything if you tell me your name.”
Jason thought of all the great things you could have asked of him, but instead you just asked for his name, how stupid you were, well he doesn't really complain, he benefited from your treatment.
“It's Jason,” he said before walking away and leaving the girl behind.
When he saw her again, he saw her again with her smile and waving at him with her hands.
Thousands of books surrounded him, a smell of wood could be felt in the air, the smell of books also lingered.
Large shelves were everywhere, they created a large labyrinth in the library.
He was bored, he didn't bring anything to this place to entertain himself, even so, he preferred to stay here bored than pay the consequences of his actions.
Sometimes he wondered how it was that Alfred was the one who put him in order instead of the man who became his mentor.
“Hello, little thief mouse,” he was scared for a moment, until he saw the same girl from before.
He just frowned at her.
“I knew Alfred caught you” I noticed a bit of mockery in his words.
“You told him so” she reacted angrily, so she actually joked with him, typical rich girl behavior.
“Not how could I… we made a deal, didn't we?”
“…” Jason actually doubted that girl's words, she was very suspicious in his opinion.
“You know, Alfred is like a bloodhound, he knows what is happening under his nose, even if you don't believe it.”
“What are you doing in this place?” He questioned the girl who sat a considerable distance away from him, near a window.
“The same thing you are doing,” he replied.
“You are hiding so as not to be punished for stealing” he raised an eyebrow doubting her words, he couldn't imagine the elegantly dressed girl in front of him doing such a thing, surely she is being sarcastic.
“Well, not so much like that, I deleted Dad's work schedule” you smiled innocently “maybe then he could talk to me once, even if it was to punish me” your voice sounded sad when you said that phrase “but Alfred noticed it before, so I had to "I had to run for my life before he punished me... without cookies and helping him clean" your attitude became cheerful again, your hands also moved animatedly when you narrated your story.
Your way of putting yourself together amazed him, your joy was also contagious, that bubbly smile you had made him want to laugh with you.
He saw you searching on one side of the bookshelf, your fingers running through the covers of different books.
Until you stopped at one and carefully removed it from its place.
“have you ever read this book” you moved it in his face.
I didn't know why you were asking him.
Maybe this time you were going to make fun of him.
“It was my mother's favorite book, she always read it to me”
“Read it while you hide, I'm sure you'll love it” you offered it to him, he took it hesitantly, you didn't expect him to actually read it.
He saw you take out another book, from a different place.
You read it in a peaceful way, not caring about what was around you.
The boy carelessly glanced at the title, it didn't matter if it was that or dying of boredom.
Thus began a small friendship between the two, when he didn't have to play his role as Robin, spend time with Bruce or just wanted to take a break, he would go to that side of the library where he always found you, where they read books, sometimes he would tell you.
He talked about how hooked he was on the book you gave him and the author's other stories.
You asked him many times to read it and he observed that after a few chapters you would fall asleep on his shoulder while he continued reading.
The silly things that were told always made him happy.
He still hasn't forgotten the birthday gift you gave him, you took him to a movie theater where they showed movies that had already been released a long time ago, but they had something that made him feel very lucky to have you, it made him the happiest teenager in the world, which You took them to see the movies of their favorite author's books.
I didn't forget the times they sneaked into a room where musical instruments were kept, when you turned on a record player or the radio, you looked for the most moving rock songs or some bands with new concepts, as long as I made them move around the room at the same time. rhythm of the instruments and lyrics.
His heart hurt, the times he saw you cry, he couldn't bear to do it, because he would feel the same.
When you expressed your pain for not fitting in with the family, for being forgotten and left aside.
The guilt you felt for being jealous of him, for having Bruce's attention.
Oh what a good soul you were, to blame yourself for feeling a very common feeling, and yet continue to love him as your brother.
Maybe your father didn't really love you, but that gave him the advantage of loving you more, his beloved sister who always did her best to understand him, you let him be the same, you never imposed the idea on him to change, he was better than everyone.
He would forget you so he could have you all to himself. He was very selfish but he didn't feel guilty about it….
Suddenly he remembered everything, how could he forget about you, his older sister, his playmate in the mansion, you made his life in this silent and huge mansion more manageable.
How is it that their memories of all the adventures they lived disappeared, every time they escaped from the mansion to different places where they could be happy children, eating junk food like pizza, ice cream or donuts, they loved the fast food place they always went to , or the arcade they visited and stayed until the place closed.
All those good moments remained as a vague recurring scenario in his memory, a girl dressed elegantly and smiling at him, or reading a book unfazed by her surroundings.
Oh no, she was no longer in the mansion... like she would be if he broke his promise.
The little light of the day was disappearing, orange rays illuminated the library window with great intensity.
“You know sometimes I think it's time to leave this place” he heard the girl confess, she was lying on the floor watching him read his favorite book.
His face was distorted by the girl's words, hearing that made his world collapse, he was going to leave and abandon him.
He put his reading aside and slowly approached his older sister.
“But I won't do it, not while you're still by my side” he saw his sister's look of hope.
“I will never leave, I promise.” Jason knelt down next to the girl who was lying down and made that promise, he laid down next to the girl…
Their gazes ended up lost in the sky, the bright orange colors faded and brought with them a dark night.
It was there where he saw how his sister took out a round lamp, when she hung it up it illuminated the entire dark room, thousands of lights in the shape of stars.
It was a beautiful day, a promise from two young brothers, who were trying to find their way in such a strange and empty world, it was a shame that a few months later the promise was broken.
And the worst thing is that I never looked for her when she came back from the dead, she left you as a vague memory.
Oh he felt so guilty, he hated himself for that, his heart ached just thinking about how much you must have suffered knowing he died.
The worst thing is that he never came back into your life.
He needed to look for her, even if he had to do it for years, searching even the least inhabited places in the world, he would find you and make up for the time he left you, even if it cost him his life.
He stood up from the large dining room table, leaving the entire family present surprised.
He looked at Dick one last time, who was holding his phone, showing a drawing of you.
Now I knew what Damian was doing, it seems that he also fell for your charms, he doesn't blame him, you were a great older sister and he was happy to give you such a title.
What didn't make him happy was that you were in danger outside the mansion, even though he didn't like to admit it, or without one of them constantly protecting you.
He left the room, with all eyes on him, he turned a deaf ear to the questions that were thrown at him.
“Look, I have two cards,” Jon mocked when he saw that he was winning.
“Don't be confident, in the end I will win” Damian warned the boy who was celebrating his close victory, the fool thought, he had some cards that would help him have the game in his favor.
“A little streak of luck isn't enough for them to win,” you mocked the children, before pulling out a card.
When the two children saw her, they complained about their new disadvantaged situation.
It was fun to see them like that.
“You cheated” Damián pointed his finger at you, something didn't add up, you had very good tricks up your sleeve, he admitted it, not even his other brothers were capable of that.
“Noo, that's impossible, you just don't want to admit that I'm better at this game than you.” His gaze remained on you, scrutinizing every small action you made, looking for any mistake on your part that would reveal your trap.
“Wait, our judge never said anything” you pointed to your baby who was sitting in a baby seat, she was next to you in front of the two children.
“He's a baby, she'll never notice the obvious traps.” Seeing how his little niece looked at him in bewilderment and then her childish smile made him relax a little.
“How dare you say such a thing about Alice” you pretended to be offended.
“Yes, Damian, don't blame Alice because you're losing fairly.” Jon approached the baby and handed her one of his fallen toys after cleaning it up, which the girl gladly accepted.
“You see three against one, accept that there are no cheats”
The world worked in strange ways, you've known that since you were little, when your mother left and you met your father.
When you moved and found people who understood you and were part of your life.
When you were lost after graduating, in a repetitive job, and you found the news that you were having a baby.
When you saw her for the first time, your baby, in her little body, weak and fragile, crying non-stop, it made you wrap her in your arms and cry too, now you would have a blood family, someone for whom you would give your entire life, who you would be showered with love and attention.
Meeting your younger blood brother... and living with him was strange at first, but you made it a recurring thing in your life.
Finally, what brought the world to your door today, the person for whom you cried for a long time when you were a teenager, the person who left you another big void in your life...
The person who, at this moment, brought tears to your eyes, even with a stoic face and teeth clashing together, you could not hold back the rain of salty tears, you had to let go of your facial muscles, the trembling of your lips was stronger than expected. That you could bear.
“Oh little thief mouse” you said in a whisper, he just looked at you with his smile from ear to ear, the one he always gave you when they were doing some prank, when they were having fun playing in the rooms of the mansion.
You hesitantly brought your hand up to his face, gently touching his cheek, was he even real? You felt his skin, you ran over parts of his face, he had grown a lot.
The man also let himself be carried away by your touch, he had missed him so much, it made him remember the times when he would lie on your shoulders and you would caress his hair or run over his face playing with your fingers.
But when you removed your hand, he felt the cold take over the parts of his face that you caressed.
At one point you raised your hand again and… hit his cheek.
Although it was an emotional moment to see him again, a feeling of resentment remained in your heart, in your defense he deserved it for making you cry a lot and for leaving, even when he promised not to.
You smiled even with your eyes overflowing with tears, you jumped and hugged him, he was taller than you, he became a big rock.
It was difficult just thinking about talking to him, you needed to know how he was alive, maybe get angry for his recent appearance and for making you cry so much.
But when Damian appeared and behind him Jon carrying your baby's chair with her crying, you knew it wouldn't be easy.
Even more so when you see your little brother point a dagger at Jason.
Wait... how does he have that, he promised that he would no longer bring weapons to your house.
It was a very eventful day, on the part of your brothers who spent their time fighting like little children, and your baby who started throwing a tantrum that was difficult to calm down.
You must be very grateful to Jon who was a great help not only in calming your brothers but also who was by your side trying to calm your little daughter.
“enough” you shouted, stressed by the mess.
Everyone froze when they saw you upset.
You approached your brothers, pulled them by their ears until they sat on a different side of the room.
You walked over to your baby and Jon, carefully picking up Alice and rocking her.
You sat in a small chair rocking your daughter, trying to calm her down, observing all your visitors from time to time.
“wait is she your daughter?” Jason connected the dots and realized a sad truth, he missed the birth of his niece.
“Yes Jason is his daughter” Damián didn't let you answer “and I'm his favorite uncle” he showed an arrogant smile.
“You really think that,” Jason scoffed.
“Hey, I thought I was.” Jon reacted in shock.
“You're not even family” the two looked at him angrily.
“I don't care if I consider you part of mine” you smiled at the depressed boy.
He gave you a brighter smile. Well you could say that now your house became noisier.
Elsewhere at that same moment, a team of heroes caught one of the suspects of committing a terrible crime.
While Wonder Woman made sure to keep him in an interrogation room.
Batman and Superman were reviewing some data they had obtained when capturing the criminal.
His other companions with some of the oldest trainees of the supers were waiting in front of the big screen.
It was a very important case for everyone, so many were attentive to what was happening.
Martian Detective was the one who came in to question the man, but no one expected what he would say to be something shocking.
“I washed the minds of many villains, taking them out of the crime game, that's what they wanted to hear,” the scientist confessed after so much interrogation.
A manic smile adorned his features.
“You didn't wash their mind, but you also ruined it, but now they are incapable of being normal people, many of them have acquired a childish mentality or much worse” spoke a new voice.
A hero, dressed in black, entered the room, his voice was thick, it was obvious that he felt bitterness for what he did.
“Ahh and now I'm a psychopath for wanting the greater good.”
“You are destroying people's lives,” debated the man in the bat suit.
"It's nothing more than karma, they destroyed other lives, that they pay the consequences is not strange," the scientist commented without remorse, checking his nails with disinterest.
“Oh at least that's what she said, I just wanted to torture their minds until they died.”
“Are you talking about your accomplice?” they interrogated him.
"nono... I don't use that term with her, rather she is the moral compass of the group and the mastermind behind the brainwashing, I didn't want to see them pay the price for their actions... always an angel" it was funny say such a word, after all it was a nickname that suited him.
“so they caught red” you said with a bit of annoyance.
"Yes, Blanco hasn't returned from his vacation yet... I think we should postpone the next objective." His voice had a little worry.
Even if he tried to maintain a calm appearance, seeing his reaction on the monitors showed the truth.
“no... we will continue with the plan” you were firm with your response.
“gather the others we need to be prepared” With a few more words exchanged, they ended their conversation and one of the many screens lost signal.
You went to the crib on the side of the room and picked up your daughter.
You carried her sweetly in your arms, rocking her carefully, humming a song, when you sat down in a chair in the office.
You caressed the little girl carefully, her features were very delicate, she always brought a small smile to your face when you looked at her.
You smiled at your daughter.
“Don't worry, Alice, soon we won't worry about someone hurting you.” With one hand you caressed her head carefully.
She took your hand and started playing with your fingers.
“The Alice project is still going,” you whispered.
Your gaze returned again to the monitors, some showed images of different people doing some activities, others showed some data, some two contained news and the rest had no signal, only distorting colors were shown.
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earlysunshines · 8 months ago
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are we still friends? (can we be friends?)
minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; fluff, angst 
synopsis: seeing sana again during christmas causes feelings to resurface
warnings: food ; alcohol ; datzu crumbs ; cursing ; proofread halfway bc i got lazy + grammar and spelling errors probably
a/n: how to write angst?? am i cooked?? (I'm cooked) ALSO I wrote this in December so a lonnnngg time ago like when I touched the doc for the first time two days ago it said last edited 12/30/23 T-T
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“y/n! come help with the decorations, it a bit tough to reach.” your mom calls out from the entrance.  
pausing in your place, you turn to respond to her, “i’ll be there in a bit, let me finish mixing everything.” 
“okay honey. make sure to wear a coat when you get out here, it’s chilly!” she yells back before closing the door. 
a giggle leaves your lips as you continue to sift the dry ingredients, trying not to spill the flour and sugar. when you’re done with a part of your cookie process, you wash your hands and throw on your puffer jacket before heading out to help your mom. 
christmas is in four days and your mom has this annual thing where she throws a big party at your place every christmas eve. she invites all her friends who are back in town—some even fly out to come to this big event—and it goes on until the concerningly late hours of the night.  
your mom didn’t get to throw this big party last year because she was terribly sick, so you missed it that time, but now she’s so back.  
this means you’re in charge of the baking (yet again) and also helping her out everywhere. it’s not that you don’t enjoy this, if anything you look forward to this event—just not this year, it won’t be the same as the previous christmas parties. 
your mom has this friend who moved in five minutes away from your house when you were twelve, and they had a daughter your age. of course, both your mothers found a way to get you guys to meet, and eventually, you’d be spending the majority of your middle and high school years together stuck by the hip. 
her name was minatozaki sana; she was the first person you had fallen in love with inside and out.  
she had this type of vibrance to her that spread through her surroundings like a bullet train. if the room was dim, it’d seem like she had brought a piece of the sun inside just by being there, instantly illuminating it. it was palpable that she had her flaws, everyone did, but with the way she held herself up and gave her all, you’d see right past her imperfections and into that warm heart of hers. 
sana expected nothing and appreciated everything, that’s what made her lips curl up into a contagious grin. the streaks of creased skin in the corner of her eyes as she flashed that toothy grin gave everyone the intimation that she was simply overjoyed to be able to have the ability to love and to care. she was so beautiful in the way she found adoration so enticing, and that’s why you had fallen in love with her. 
your years with her passed by quickly, each year was filled with vibrant memories that led you to fall even deeper into her charm. however, you never mustered up the courage to tell her how you really felt toward her, and by the time you had gotten close to spilling out your pent up feelings; sana had found herself a little boyfriend. 
chris was some guy on the basketball team—who was also a bit short and lacking skill to even make the team—he was an arrogant, pretentious, and egotistical snob who managed to win sana’s heart. how did he do this? who knows, everyone who’s interacted with him either hates his guts or is in love with his pathetic self.  
he was only nice around sana, but you had seen him when he wasn’t pretending like there wasn't a stick up his ass. he was below the bare minimum and that’s how you’d describe him, he was nowhere near sana’s league. if anything, maybe you were just jealous (and that you were), but you knew what kind of person deserved sana—chris was not someone who deserved a wonderful woman like her. 
that asshole managed to win sana’s heart and keep it for half of junior year and all of senior year of high school, then he managed to convince her to go to a college that was a five-hour flight away from home—and by the way, your town was a two-hour drive from a well-known, top notch university, one that you and sana agreed to go to when you were both in middle school. 
there was no way you’d let sana go to that college, not when chris was the reason she was going. it was a school that wasn’t even comparable to the one not so far from home, the one that had significant alumni and programs fit for the both of you. sana could easily win a decent scholarship to the university you’ve been dreaming of going to, but she was going to let him change her mind in a matter of seconds. 
there was no way you’d let that happen, so you simply walked over to her house and stormed up to her room after seeing her text regarding this whole plan, a fool’s plan.  
you remember the argument that shattered your friendships in seconds, almost like it was yesterday. 
“sana, you can’t just go to that school because of chris. look, i’m saying this as your friend and because i love you: he’s not all that, and the uni nearby has great health programs, they’re ten times better than the school over there and you know it.” you argue.  
you’re pacing around the room that you and sana have had countless late-night conversations and sleepovers in, the place where you had done more for sana than chris did. your eyes land on the two strips of laminated paper that hold the memory of the time you two had gone to the photobooth on your sixteenth birthday, your brows crease at the sight of your cheeks squished with sana’s as the two of you posed. a heavy breath makes your lungs shrink as you exhale. 
“i can’t let you do this, not for him sana.” 
“but i love him so much y/n, you know this. he promised we could stay in an apartment together and that everything would be perfect, we have a whole future planned and i—” 
“what about us sana?” you cut her off, voice breaking slightly. “what about our future? we promised that we’d go to that uni together, what happened to that? you’re going to throw it away for him?” 
“you’re being ridiculous y/n, we were thirteen! things change and you need to grow up, look—”  
“we’ve known each other since elementary school and you’re throwing away this opportunity for a guy whose grades are falling apart. not only that, he’s a fucking ass! you’ve come crying and complaining to me more times than i can count on my left hand.” you respond angrily, and much louder than you meant to. 
sana looks at you in disbelief, her expression almost carrying some sort of disappointment or disgust. she scoffs and you feel your heart shatter just from hearing it, this isn’t like her at all. 
“if you were so fucking annoyed by my misery then you could’ve told me,” she responds harshly, water lining her eyes.  
“sana that’s not what i—" 
“you’re supposed to be my best friend, always there for me and to support me. now look at you, what happened to that? can’t you be happy for me and chris? i seriously love him and all you’ve been is mopey and bitchy whenever he’s around.” 
“i know more people that have treated you better than him. he’s an asshole sana, it’s clear as day and even dahyun agrees.” 
her eyes meet the floor and she says in a smaller voice, “i love him y/n, and he loves me.” 
not like i love you, never will he love you like that. 
your features soften as you look at her. “sana you can’t—” 
“get out of my room.” sana spits in a stinging tone that’s worse than a dagger to your heart. she shakes her head then turns to avoid your gaze and your heart completely shatters as you watch a tear slide down her cheek in the process. “get out of my house, i don’t want to hear it.” 
“sana,” you begin, but when you hear her sniffle, you hold back everything that’s burning in your chest. your shoulders give up and sink in defeat before you croak out an “okay.” 
turning around, you step out of her bedroom with a heavy heart and trembling lips. tears stream down your cheeks as you make your way out of the house where sana and you had spent countless hours together—hours that you’d never forget no matter how hard you tried. 
each breath you take is visible in the cold air and snow compresses with each step you take whilst hanging up the christmas lights. your mother smiles once you pin the last string up and  then you take a step back to admire the illuminating pattern of diverse hues beaming when your mom presses the “on” button. 
“thank you again honey, i appreciate it.” your mom says, holding your hand and squeezing it gently.  
you turn and smile at her, shaking your head before responding, “anytime mom.” 
the two of you enter the house again and immediately you’re on your way back to the kitchen to finish up your famous cookies. you three different types of cookies: chocolate chip cookies (the fastest batch to be eaten), matcha cookies with white chocolate chips, and ube cookies—sana’s favorites. 
-- 
“ube? what’s that?” sana says, giggling softly as you hand her a purple cookie with white chocolate chunks.  
“just try it sana, you’ll love it.” you assure, urging her to try. “it’s purple too, how could you not?” 
she rolls her eyes at you then picks up the sweet treat, taking a bite of the cookie. it’s crunchy on the outside and perfectly soft on the inside, making her shoulders sink down and eyes close when the new, thrilling flavor meets her tastebuds. 
“so, how is it?” you ask, raising your brows. sana simply smiles and nods, shooting a dorky thumbs up before taking another bite. 
“it’s wonderful, it’s like coconut and nutty and has vanilla and oh my gosh it’s so… it’s really good.” she sighs, melting as she consumes your baked good. she looks adorable. 
you laugh at her response and take a bite of your own experiment, eyes widening at how good they were. sana was right, they’re wonderful. 
-- 
“ah the purple cookies, those were a hit ever since you started making them.” your mom says, rubbing your back. she looks at you with some pity, knowing about your little falling out with sana. 
you simply smile and nod. “i like them, i was going to save some for myself too.” you joke, easing some tension in the air. 
“well, i’m going to call your dad up, go visit the kim’s later and tell them i said hi.” your mom insists, placing a twenty dollar bill on the marble counter. “heard they have a holiday latte out, you should try it. dahyun’s also been experimenting with her baking and beverages, she gets better each time i visit.” 
“of course she is,” you chuckle lightheartedly, “let me just finish these last cookies and i’ll put them in the fridge for a bit. did you want anything from their place?” 
“no, it’s fine. oh wait! i have a present for dahyun’s mom, can you give her this if she’s there?” she asks. 
“mhm,” you hum,  “just put it near my bag on the couch.” 
“thanks sweetie, i’ll do that.” your mother beams, then rushes towards her room to grab whatever it was that she needed. 
-- 
ring  
the sound of the bell chimes throughout the café—which is not too busy other than the elderly group in the corner and a student typing away at their computer to the side. you catch sight of the familiar face, instantly grinning when you walk towards the register. 
dahyun is turned away from you and cleaning the espresso machine, wiping it down and yelling a “welcome! feel free to check out the holiday pastries and beverages!” without turning towards you. 
you laugh and speak up, “it’s nice to see you miss know-it-all.” and upon hearing your voice dahyun instantly turns around, beaming a bright grin and setting her rag down. 
“y/n? you didn’t tell me you were in town? what the hell where were you last year?” she questions, walking out from behind the counter and then towards you to greet you with a warm hug. she smells like coffee grinds and cinnamon, you hug her back and smile. 
“i was deathly sick last year, like seriously fighting for my life. i didn’t tell you?” 
“no stupid, you didn’t.” she sighs, then pulls away to look at you. “i’ve only seen your instagram posts, haven’t seen you in a bit and wow… you look better than in the pictures.” 
“thank you?” you giggle before she walks over to return back behind the register. “i’ve also seen your instagram… who’s that girl you’ve been posting? got a girl and didn’t fill me in with the details?” you pry, smirking cheekily. 
“oh, tzu… gosh y/n we have so much to talk about, i’m glad you’re back in town.” dahyun says appreciatively, and you don’t miss the slight pink that dusts on her cheeks before she starts again, “let’s talk over some coffee. what can i get you? on the house by the way. we have like, thirty minutes before a bunch of people start piling in.” 
a giggle leaves your lips again before you decide on a peppermint mocha. dahyun gets to work and weighs out the coffee grins as you situate yourself to the side, watching her work her magic. 
the two of you catch up on what’s been going on with college, dahyun’s love life that you’ve missed out on, and what you’ve been up to yourself. twenty minutes pass and you’ve both ended up on some old memory that has the two of you laughing like idiots again, making both your stomachs hurt. 
“so… we’ve talked about what’s been going on with me… what about you and your love life? bet you’ve met a girl too.” dahyun interrogates with a teasing tone.  
“oh, well—” you begin, awkwardly staring at the cup in your hand. “i dated this girl for a while, but we ended up falling out and staying friends, nothing much… we just weren’t right for each other.” 
“i see…” dahyun responds, holding herself back from bringing up the sensitive topic—or, well, person.  
dahyun was aware of the falling out as well, but still stayed friends with sana. however, she was your friend before she met sana, so she had made sure if it was alright to keep contact and whatnot. of course you didn’t want your own personal problems to get in between other friendships, and you still loved sana despite everything that had happened so you gave dahyun the green light.  
after running to dahyun the same night of the argument with sana, you cried for an hour or two in her room. this was the first time you turned to someone other than sana, and dahyun had been on your side of the whole situation, making it easier to comfort and reassure you. she also disliked chris, but not as much as she liked you. 
she pretty much agreed with everything you had ranted about and thought it was stupid that sana would rather choose that asshole over someone like you, and later on you’d confess that you were in love with sana to dahyun. when everything had been rocky with sana, dahyun had been by your side, and you were grateful for that. 
“well, maybe you’ll land yourself a kiss under the mistletoe, who knows who’ll be showing up to your christmas party.” dahyun nudges you, smiling as she hands you some peppermint chocolate bark treat. “i could always set you up~” 
“it’s fine, really.” you guarantee. a smile spreads across your face and you dismiss her offer with a wave of your hand. “um, by the way… has um, has she stopped by or anything like that recently? does sana still visit—" 
there’s another ring from the door opening that cuts you off, making dahyun’s attention redirect towards the customer walking in. her eyes widen and she pauses in place before smiling awkwardly, then she mumbles an uneasy “um, be back…” before walking over to the register. 
you don’t think much of her weird mood shift and instead swirl around the small remainder of coffee in the latte cup. 
“hi dahyun! it’s nice to see you again.” a voice beams.  
you freeze in place, all of your body tensing up as soon as the familiar voice processes through your ears. it’s smooth, it’s sweet, and it has that same high-pitched ring and giggle that follows. immediately, your heartbeat spikes and you’re doing anything you can to avoid interacting or even looking in the woman’s direction. 
“it’s nice to see you too sana,” dahyun greets with a bubbly tone. the name being uttered from dahyun’s mouth is enough to make your hands grip the cup in your hand a little tighter. “can i get you anything?”  
“hm… i’ll have that peppermint mocha please. i’m also going to take a look around the bakery, i need to grab some treats for others. you know how it is, holidays and whatnot.” sana says in that adorable tone, it has you falling for her all over again just when you thought you’d gotten over everything that’s happened. 
quickly, you finish the last sip of your coffee before setting the empty cup down abruptly. it makes a small yet noticeable sound with the glass plate it had been sitting on, making sana advert her gaze.  
the small gift you had set down beside you is now placed on the glass that covers the display of christmas themed cakes. dahyun looks at you in confusion and tilts her head before you turn to smile at her, avoiding sana’s widening eyes. 
“thanks for the coffee dahyun, take the present on the glass to your mom—it’s from my mom to yours.” you start, trying to keep your voice level 
every ounce of restraint and discipline is fighting back the urge to simply glance at sana, who’s standing right in front of dahyun. you almost manage to avoid her, but it’s inevitable, your eyes land on your first love for the first time in almost two years. 
she’s looking at you with parted lips and surprise, but she still looks as beautiful as you remember. sana looks a little more mature than when you last saw her; the curve of her jaw is sharper, lips somehow brighter and her features are more defined overall. sana is wearing a scarf that fits around her neck comfortably, a brown, fluffy sweater, and dark sweatpants with uggs to compliment the outfit. there’s simplicity in her look—she’s jaw dropping, the sight of her makes your jaw tighten and heartbeat spike.  
her eyes meet yours for exactly three seconds, enough time to have every memory flowing in. 
clearing your throat, you finish your farewell to dahyun with a smile, “i’ll see you around, my mom says hi to your mom, tell her i also said hi too. i’ll get going now, have a good one.” 
your body doesn’t fight back the urge to glance at sana again—big mistake—before turning around and walking out the door. 
sana keeps her look on you the whole time, baffled to see you here and her own heart yearns for you. she’s missed you more than you’d ever know, and more than she’d like to admit. it doesn’t help her case that you’re ten times more attractive than when she’d last seen you at graduation. 
“you should talk to her.” dahyun says softly. sana keeps her eye on the door, you’re already out and probably in your car, but she keeps her eye on the door still. 
“were you talking to her earlier?” sana asks, now turning to face the younger woman. 
“we were catching up.” dahyun answers. the woman behind the register turns around to start making sana’s drink, unknowingly the same drink you had ordered. it all makes dahyun’s own heart sink in her chest a bit. “how long has it been since you’ve talked to her?” 
“since graduation.” sana explains, looking down at the counter. “i messed up.” 
dahyun turns around again to see sana, sorrow and regret etching into her features. the barista frows and reaches over to place her hand on sana’s shoulder, then rubs it gently.  
“talk to her, there’s always time to fix things. especially with y/n.” 
-- 
a few days past since that meeting, you’re still shaken up from it to say the least.  
sana is too, but you aren’t aware of that. 
to stray away from this event that is dreadfully close to leading to some form of existential crisis or spiral, you’re helping your mom out with setting up the last few decorations and tables while your cookies that you chilled a couple days ago bake.  
dahyun is also coming over with her girlfriend in the evening to exchange a couple of greetings and to properly introduce her girlfriend tzuyu to you. your mother had met tzuyu before and talked highly about her, so you were excited to meet her yourself.  
when the time comes, you hear a knock at the door and shoot up to answer it. you open the door and dahyun stands there with a nervous grin on her face. next to her stands tzuyu—and sana.  
your eyes widen and your jaw tenses when you see her perfect face, standing next to tzuyu with this awkward smile. she’s wearing a gray pullover and black sweatpants; an orange scarf also wraps around her neck comfortably. she looks snug and cute as ever, no matter what she’s adorable in your eyes. your heart flutters and you get all nervous like a teenager again. 
pushing away the edginess flowing throughout your whole being, you greet dahyun with a warm hug, then give tzuyu and friendly one as well. you’re not sure how to greet sana, being all shaken up by just her presence, so you resort to a smile and a small “hi sana,” then invite them all in. 
sana walks in and her hand brushes against your arm on accident, the two of you definitely notice it—though you both decide to ignore it and the warmth in your chests.  
your mom greets all the girls with a hug and the five of you sit down in your homey living room. sana sits across from you on the couch next to your mom, and you sit there avoiding eye contact as you all catch up. 
an hour passes by and dahyun is over in the living room talking to your mom about what’s been going on with her parents and the bakery. in the meantime, you decide to give yourself a break from feeling all nervous just by being near sana. 
standing up, you announce, “i’m going to the kitchen for a bit.” your mom simply raises her brows at your sudden departure, you’ve been silent for most of the conversation and it seems like you’re the only one affected by the tension in the room. “won’t be long.” you add, smiling weakly. 
the fridge is still full of some essentials, and to the side, there’s some cold brew and your favorite coconut milk; everything you need is right where you need it. you head over to the counter and grab your favorite glass cup, heart stinging at the memory of when you had received it. it was one of the many gifts from sana. 
you grab some ice and put it in the cup, then add your cold brew inside. then you grab a small cup with some honey and search for a spoon so you can mix it in with the coconut milk. 
“drinking coffee at this time?” a voice says, making you freeze. you break out of your short trance and hum in response before continuing to make your drink. 
“you know i can’t resist a good coffee, sana.” and the way her name slips off your tongue feels right. you haven’t said it often since the falling out and it still rolls off perfectly, it feels right coming from you. you’re hesitant to talk again, feeling her eyes drill into your back. something in your heart shifts and you manage to ask, “did you want something to drink?” 
“yeah,” she answers, walking over to you and sitting at the kitchen island. “same thing you’re drinking, but sweeter.” 
of course she wants it sweet, just like always.  
“okay.”  
your back is still turned towards sana and she watches you grab another glass. as you do so, she gets a glimpse of your own glass and smiles. “is that the cup i got you?”  
still fixing up her drink, you nod and answer, “yeah. it’s my favorite.” 
“a lot of your gifts are my favorites too.” she admits, her voice so soft and fragile that you’re scared the thick tension in the air might break it. 
sana watches you turn around, but you still avoid her gaze. you place both cups on the surface of the kitchen island and begin to pour the coconut milk mixtures into the coffee. the liquids swirl as they combine, creating a satisfying view. sana’s quick to redirect her attention back to you, staring at your face again. 
last time she had saw you at dahyun’s cafe, she only had the chance to get a simple glance at your features, not enough time to fully take in everything that’s changed about your apperance. there’s two new piercings on both ears and a new, small tattoo below your ear; the length of your hair is also noticeably longer. your lips part as you swirl both cups in your hands around, and then you take a quick glance to the side, allowing sana to admire your side profile and the unique curve of your nose and lips. 
you hold the mug out for her and finally meet her eyes again. sana’s favorite thing about you were your eyes, they’re still as pretty as she remembers.  
it’s some thursday night during your sophomore year of high school, you were supposed to be studying with sana for your math quiz tomorrow, but she had other ideas.  
“stay still,” sana mumbles softly. 
she situates you in the chair near her desk and tilts your head up with the fingers holding your chin. she’s inches away from you as she puts some sort of sponge on your face, brows creasing as she does so. your heart is racing. 
after a couple of minutes, sana finishes up your makeup. she’s done some type of natural look on you, nothing too heavy or bold. you look at yourself through the mirror and take a moment to examine sana’s doings. as you do so, sana can’t keep her eyes off you. 
something in her heart shifts as she admires you. her eyes land on your lips, they’re oddly alluring, and sana’s cheeks burn. 
“sana you’re staring… do i look weird?” 
“no,” she practically breathes out, mouth slightly agape. “you’re beautiful.” she says breathlessly, her expression turning all serious it makes you giggle awkwardly. 
there have been many moments where sana has found you pretty, not just physically. your small gifts and reassurance have made her heart flutter, but she’s always figured that was just because she loved you deeply as a friend. but when you stare at her with those eyes in this moment, she’s so surprised by everything she feels. she's giddy and happy and warm inside and gosh her heart wants to jump out her chest and cling onto you. she's not opposed to the feeling; she always has this feeling aorunf you and she loves it. that's why she’s always around you in the first place. 
her face burns and you’re gazing at her all confused, you look so cute. 
growing nervous from how non-verbal sana has been, you try to shake her out of her trance. “hey, you’re scaring me. earth to sana? hellooooo…?” 
“how are you so pretty all the time.” sana’s eyes soften and her whole body relaxes as she rests her head on her palm. “like, your face is so perfect and your eyes… god y/n, whoever gets to be with you would be so lucky, seriously. like, you’re honestly the prettiest girl in our school, how do you not have a boyfriend?” 
your cheeks flush from the abrupt compliment, so you push her gently and giggle. sana giggles along with you, still star-struck. you’re both young and unknowingly in love with each other—giggles and teasing seem to be the only way to hide that. 
sana has always found you attractive, after all these years she still hasn’t figured out why she made the mistake of pursuing chris instead of the person who was always there for her—and ten times prettier. you’ve always been right there, she’s a fool for looking right past you. 
sana grabs the mug, still making eye contact with you and both your eyes soften at the same time. 
“y/n i’m sorry.” she says immediately, “i messed up really bad and—” 
“sana,” you cut her off, “just enjoy the drink.” she watches you smile at her, it’s genuine and small, still enough to calm her nerves. you grab your glass and walk towards the door to the porch, tilting your head and urging her to come follow. sana figures she could pour her heart out later, if it were on the porch it wouldn’t be the first time she’s poured out her emotions there.  
the two of you find a seat across from each other, the fairy lights above create some type of ambiance to ease the tension that’s hanging in the air like an invisible cloak of some sort, suffocating the two of you with its unease. 
“how have you been?” sana asks. it’s cliché, but what else was she supposed to say?  
you don’t look up from the drink in your hand when you respond, “good, you?”  
“likewise.” sana lies, her jaw clenching.  
“you know,” you begin, and with intent, your eyes meet her face and she’s doing the same as you had been doing before; she simply sits there with the drink in her hand, looking quite on edge. “i figured if i were to see you again like this, chris would be with you.”  
“we broke up three months after we moved in together.” sana says quietly, “i broke up with him.” 
“sana…” you mumble quietly, surprised to say the least. “why— what?” 
“i ruined everything between you and i because i was so blinded by his affection, i couldn’t stay with him anymore with guilt clawing at me.” she explains, her voice breaking slightly. “and i couldn’t bring myself to talk to you after hurting you. losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. god, it took everything in me to come back to you.” 
“you never lost me sana,”  
“i’m just… sorry for everything, i really am.” she says sincerely, “and i don’t think enough words could really explain how sorry i am.” 
you look at her with pity, and despite her coldness towards you during the last semester of your senior year, you decide to let everything go. she’s your best friend after all, you promised yourself to be there. 
“it’s okay.” you say, it’s not the truth, but it’s not a lie either. “it was my fault too for letting the distance between us get larger.” 
“don’t say that, it’s not your fault.” sana sighs. she takes a sip of the coffee, it’s good, of course— everything you’ve ever made for her has been great. “i only stayed with chris because i was scared. that’s why it was so easy for me to leave everyone i loved behind, i think.” 
“scared? …of what?” 
she looks dead into your eyes and exhales, “i realized that, that maybe i was with chris because i was trying to push down how i felt about you.” 
you tilt your head in confusion, then begin to pry, “sana what do you mean—" 
“y/n, i was falling for you and it terrified me. i mean, i loved you, and honestly, i think i still do. i'm so fucking dumb, god i'm just oblivious.” sana says, then immediately, your heart rate spikes and your brows raise. she continues while fidgeting with her fingers, “i guess it’s easier to admit now because we’ve grown distant, and physically we’re distant enough. chris treated me alright and loved me, but i came crying to you all the time because he never treated me like how i wanted you to treat me, i don’t know why i did that. i don’t know why i let myself go through that when i had you. every time i’d kiss him i wished it were you, every time we did anything honestly.” 
sana's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, their glossy shine failing to hide the immense emotions she was desperately trying to suppress. the weight of her confession hung in the air, causing the entire world to momentarily freeze. it felt as though time itself had paused, giving you a moment to absorb the magnitude of her words. 
sana loved you, and she still does. you loved her, and you still do.  
but really, you can’t. you can’t go through with this. it’s too sudden, so unorganized and uncertain. 
all of this is a recipe for disaster. 
the echo of her vulnerability reverberated through the atmosphere, your mind spun in a cyclone of emotions. thoughts collided and collided again like football players during some game, leaving your head in a dizzying state of confusion, the sheer intensity of it all was jarring, leaving you all disoriented. the feelings you suppressed were finding their way back out, and you found yourself teetering on the precipice of vulnerability once again, just as you did years ago. 
finding out that sana loved you still gave you hope, but the revelation also made you uneasy. it had been too long without sana, and so much had happened, so there was the chance that things would be all rocky. besides, it’s just too sudden. 
“i’m— sorry for dumping all of this, i just wanted to give you closure because… well, i should’ve given you it years ago.” a tear streams down her eye as she says this, and then she begins to stand. “i should leave, i’m sorry for not letting you know i was coming— god i’m so sorry.” 
“sana wait—” you start, grabbing her wrist. she looks into your eyes, her’s are still glossy. you decide it’s better to let her go for now, unsure if this is the last time you’ll see her after this—hopefully not. “it’s okay, just… be careful. you know i’m always here, always sha.” 
the nickname that you made up for her makes her heart crack a little, she can only smile back at you for now. 
— 
the conversation between dahyun, tzuyu, and your mom is interrupted when dahyun catches the sight of sana pulling her scarf off the hook and wrapping it around her neck again. she takes account of the slight flush of her nose and cheeks, as well as her water-lined eyes. 
“you’re leaving?” dahyun asks, concern clear in her tone. sana simply smiles and nods, “yeah, i’ll see you at the holiday party. it was nice seeing you too miss l/n, i missed all of this.” 
“you’re always welcome honey,” your mother assures, “where’s y/n?” 
“out on the porch, she said she’ll be back in a bit. i’ll see you all, thank you.” sana says before departing, leaving the three women in the living room perplexed. 
a few minutes later whilst the three in the living room conjure up theories of what had happened while you and sana had been gone—you appear with a blank expression. you sit down next to your mom and lean against her, not saying a word. 
tzuyu (who is only briefly caught up with whatever had happened between you and sana, and she deinfitely needs a thorough presentation on your history) looks at dahyun and tilts her head, dahyun simply shakes her own head. 
“sana and i talked a bit, resolved and made things clear.” you say, answering the elephant in the room. “i’m heading up, i’m getting sleepy and i want to have some energy for the party tomorrow.” you add. “it was nice getting to know you tzuyu, you’re perfect for the idiot beside you. night everyone.” chuckling quietly in between responses. 
and with that you’re walking up the stairs to your room, leaving your mom, tzuyu, and dahyun perplexed yet again. 
december 25th, five o’clock pm. 
you're greeting guests, various familiar faces and their parents, family friends, and whoever else you mom managed to fit on the list. 
the party is lively, with people scattered in the backyard and on the little porch while your dad grills his signature bbq meats. your mom laughs with her friends as she sips on her wine, moving her hands around as she talks to emphasize her little life updates. 
in the basement with you are your old high school friends: momo, her cousin mina, jaehyun, mark, johnny, seulgi, sooyoung, jeongyeon, and dahyun, who’s accompanied by tzuyu. the rest of your frineds couldn’t make it, they were probably out of town. all of them sit on the floor or couch with a can of smirnoff or soda, all chatting and laughing over old memories. 
you lean against jaehyun as you laugh, letting yourself hide behind his shoulder while mark ruthlessly brings up each embarrassing phase you’ve had. what a guy, a guy you’ll be figthing soon if he keeps this up. 
the feeling of your phone ringing against your palm as you hold it catches your attention, directing you from the conversation at hand. the screen shows a call from “mom♡” which earns a confused look. you answer the call, cupping the phone so you can hear her better as you answer. 
“hello? did you need something?” 
“hey honey, would you mind coming out for a bit? someone wants to see you.” 
“someone?” you ask, “one of your friends or...?” 
“just come on out sweetie.” she insistts. 
“okay okay, whatever you say.” you respond before ending the call and starting to get up. jaehyun looks up at you with a quirked brow as he sips on his drink. you look back and shrug, “my mom wants me to meet ‘someone,’ probably one of her friends or something. i won’t be long.” you respond to him and let the others know. 
"alright, take your time," jaehyun says with a nod, setting his drink down. "hopefully, it won't be too boring," he adds with a small smirk, teasing you gently. you roll your eyes playfully in response before grabbing your jacket and heading towards the sliding door.  
you were right about the guess on seeing your mom's friend, or—friends. however, the sudden chill you get when seeing the minatozaki’s on the porch makes you tense up.  
they're standing there, glasses of wine in their hands as they look at you. sana's mom has a smile on her face, so does her dad. you walk up to them and try to shake off your nerves, fully hugging sana’s mom and giving sana’s dad a side hug. 
“it’s been a while hasn’t it?” sana’s mom says, putting her hand on your shoulder and grinning. “it’s wonderful to see you again.” 
“likewise.” you respond, melting into relaxation the more you get used to this atmosphere. “how have you all been?” 
after a tense reunion with sana’s parents, they find out about your ambitions and what you’ve been up to. not much is mentioned about the falling out between you and their daughter, but the thought most definitely lingers in the cold, winter air.  
sana's parents tell you about an internship she earned at a hospital her first year, saying they’re proud of her for helping others and the bonus of the nice paycheck that came with the experience. they tell you she’s found herself a guaranteed transfer to your school and that she’s excited to help even more people in the nursing program. it sounds like sana’s a great person, she’s always wanted to help others, it makes you smile and nod as her parents update you on what she’s been up to. 
but there’s this feeling of uncertainty and sorrow brewing. the fact that you have to hear about sana from anyone but her breaks you a bit, knowing that the two of you wouldn’t hesitate to update each other back then. now, it seems like you’re missing a chunk of memories that you could’ve shared with sana. 
“we asked her to come to the party.” mr. minatozaki says, looking at you with a sympathetic smile. “she said she’d consider it.” 
“oh, i see.” you respond, nodding whilst looking at the ground.  
part of you is glad that she’s not here, but who are you kidding, there would never be a time where you’d be dissapointed to catch her near you, despite the paranoia taking over. 
“well, it’s nice to catch up y/n. we've missed you, it’s great to see how well you’re doing. your parents must be proud.” mr. minatozaki concludes, looking at you with admiration. 
“yeah, thanks.” you say, “well, i'll leave you to talk to my parents, but i'll stop by again to talk to you two. it's really nice to catch up, i've missed you guys too, and your wonderful dinners.” you add jokingly, earning a laugh from the couple. 
sana's mom kisses your temple and hugs you, then lets you walk back into the house. 
it seems like this whole night has been full of surprises—scratch that, at this point, everything is a surprise ever since you've been back in town. especially now, because once you step into the kitchen, there’s a familiar woman who’s making your knees weak all over again. 
“y/n, hey.” sana greets softly, smiling at you. 
she's just hung up her scarf on the little hook near the fridge, the same place she’d always hang it back then. there was this unspoken rule that when sana was here, there were certain spaces that belonged to her; the hook near the fridge, the chair at the dining table closest to the living room, the right side of your bed, and the left side of the couch in the basement.  
still, you’re pissed at the fact she had practically cut you off completely over a boy just to come back years later to win you back. it irritated you how easy it was for sana to convince you, but you were much angrier at the thought of her coming back to see you because her and chris didn’t work out. was she serious about the breakup? was that all it took to forget that she had caused so much mental turmoil? 
despite this, her being in your house again and seeing her at this christmas party like years before; everything reminds you of the fact that sana had always lingered in your home. 
“hey, didn’t think you’d make it.” you respond, watching her shrug. 
“my parents said your signature cookies are here, i had to.” 
can't be the only reason, you want to mumble, but your lips stay sealed. 
sana speaks again, “i stole a couple, ate some earlier actually. still as great as i remembered.” 
“thanks.” you mutter, walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “did you want to talk about something?” 
“what do you mean?” 
“there’s a reason you came, and i know it’s for me since you’re not in the basement with everyone else. we both know that’s the signature spot.” 
sana cringes at your tone, but gives in. 
“i just wanted to see you, and hopefully talk to you normally.” 
it's taking everything in you to hold your ground, to protect yourself from this sudden appearance that’s making you all uneasy again. you can’t let sana screw you up again with a simple visit, you can’t. 
“i know you’re sorry but sana, you treated me so terribly. do you know how much i cried? how fucking terrible i felt after losing my friend of years to chris?” you seethe, sighing. “part of me wants to start over, maybe try again—but how can i do that when there’s the chance of you throwing away everything, we rebuild over another stupid fucking guy.” 
she looks at you with guilt in her eyes, her shoulders sinking and words jumbling in her throat.  
“y/n, nothing—no one, despite what i've done to you, will ever make me forget how much i love you. there's always a space in my heart for you.” 
you scoff, anger flowing throughout you now, then walk over to her. she stands against the frame of the entrance, you stand in front of her now, looking down slightly. sana's looking at you directly in the eye, you can see the hurt and regret in her eyes; her look brings you back to your senses. 
“how do i know you’re not bluffing? sana, every ounce of me wants to redo this.” your voice cracks slightly, the hurt evident in your tone.  
“you just have to trust me, i'm sorry, i'm really sorry.” 
you feel like curling up into a ball and hiding, the way your chest tightens makes you want to cry a bit. 
the party ends around one in the morning, considering the fact that some of the attendants are adults that don’t have the energy to party until the sunrises.  
jaehyun’s just crossed the line, now slurring his words and laughing stupidly while he gets touchy with the guys, so mark ends up driving him home. johnny catches a ride with seulgi and sooyoung. with them gone, you’re in the basement with momo, mina, dahyun, and tzuyu. all five of you end the night with some recollections of memories, momo’s recent date, mina’s annoying professor, and before you know it you all are hugging goodbye. 
you've already gone through three cans of the smirnoff cans, it hadn’t done much except make you a little more giggly and talkative. you were a little tipsy, that was all. 
throughout the night, tzuyu and dahyun exchange glances, their eyes meeting repeatedly, dahyuns hand rubbing tzuyu’s thigh, and the little smiles they give each other. all of it doesn’t go unnoticed – at least by you – and hints at the potential for something you don’t want to think of in detail once they return home.  
as you observe their subtle interactions, a pang of envy stirs within you, longing for that same allure and anticipation. amidst the swirling emotions, a sense of emptiness creeps in, amplified by the beers you’ve had. you're left to ponder on what’s making you feel hollow, still feeling bad after raising your voice at sana earlier. 
you can’t feel bad, you shouldn’t. whatever you did wasn’t comparable to her practically pretending you didn’t exist for almost two years. 
after rolling your eyes and saying some stupid joke to dahyun and tzuyu – the last to leave the house – you head back to the basement.  
of course, sana had to be sitting on the couch, head turned towards the tv as she sipped on a beer.  
“hey.” you mutter, earning her attention as she turns away from the christmas movie you paused earlier. 
“hi.” sana greets. 
every ounce of anger, irritation, and dread had been squeezed out your body at the sight of her. you genuinely think it’s the alcohol that’s making you rethink everything, making it hard to fight back that voice in your head that’s trying to stay reserved and petty. 
sana sits there, her gaze fixed on you with intensity. her glasses are perched on her nose, a familiar sight whenever she's engrossed in watching tv or anything like that. the sight only adds to her charm, making her look even more adorable. you can't help but notice her favorite cardigan draped over her shoulders – the fluffy, white knit cardigan she adores so much –it's a cherished gift from your mother, and she's held onto it all these years. her eyes bore into yours, drilling into your skull and compelling you to plop down beside her as if nothing had ever transpired between you. you surrender, maybe it’s the late hours of the night, maybe the beer, o rmaybe just sana. 
(it’s probably just sana.) 
she turns back to the movie playing, some stupid romcom jaehyun had put on as background noise. 
your eyes trace the curve of her nose, lingering on her lips and the impeccable contour of her jawline as she remains fixated on the tv screen. her side profile captivates you for a moment, holding you in some sort of spell until she breaks the silence with her soft voice. 
“i think our parents are playing card games in the kitchen.”  
“probably betting money too.” 
“remember when your dad took your christmas money for their game?” sana asks, giggling at the memory. her eyes are still fixed on the screen, you decide to tune into the movie too. “didn’t he lose too?” 
“yeah.” you sigh, sinking into the couch. “he paid me back double the next day though.” 
“so it was worth it?” 
“yeah, i think we went out to eat with that money.” 
sana turns to gaze at you, her eyes tracing the soft contours of your profile in the dimly lit room. the glow from the tv accentuates her favorite features of yours, and she finds herself lost in the sight before her. for a while, she simply stares, allowing the comfortable silence to envelop the moment.  
you turn to look at her now, you two just stare at each other for a while more. 
“maybe we can try again.” you mumble, giving into the beauty in front of you. “every part of me is against the idea.” 
“that’s understandable.” sana agrees. she sighs before adding, “you don’t have to try again.” 
“i know.” you assure, “but i think we should.” 
“i’m sorry.” 
“i know, sana.”  
as the music from the tv fills the room, silence once again settles between you and sana. you know that you can't let this opportunity slip away – it's everything you've wanted, and deep down, you realize it's everything you've needed too.  
there's a mistletoe that’s hung above the two of you, it’s been there the whole time, both of you were aware of it. it dangles from the light tantalizingly, but neither of you do anything about it. neither you or sana even mention it. your mind races to the memory of dahyun and tzuyu kissing each other under it and part of you wants to kiss sana like that, but you won’t let her kiss and make up. 
you reach out, your fingers gently intertwining with hers. you lift her hand to your lips, feeling the warmth of her skin against your own. softly, you press a kiss upon the back of her hand, you linger in the intimacy of the gesture. 
the two of you sit there for a moment, letting the world around you two fade away. 
everything about the moment renders you weak. you think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, a second chance is enough to patch things up. if it’s with sana, then maybe it’s worth it. 
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russellsppttemplates · 9 months ago
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Hi, could you do a Max blurb in which before Finn was born, Sassy and Jimmy being territorial over the reader and the same thing happens when the reader is pregnant with Julia?
Cw: reader's pregnancy
Note: apparently, this happened with my mum when she was pregnant with me. My parents had a big fluffy Persian cat that got way too overprotective of my mum to the point where he backed her into a wall in your balcony and my dad sort of had to get in between them with a bit of a scare and the cat never came back. I'm doing this in a much less dramatic way though 😅
It was subtle at first, Jimmy and Sassy following you everywhere around the house, even when you were taking a shower in the bathroom, sitting on the rug as they looked up at you.
"Hey, liefje", Max greeted sitting next to you on the sofa and leaning over to kiss your lips. However he was interrupted by hissing from the cats, "Oh, did I step on you? Sorry", Max frowned as the cats' tails were nowhere near his body. Jimmy was now standing beside you while Sassy's hair lifted along the back, "someone's not happy", you petted the cat.
As Max attempted again to give you a kiss, both cats hissed this time, the hair on their backs fully standing up as they widened their eyes at Max, "is this them being territorial?", Max wondered, "you have been with me longer than you've known her", he teased the cats, deciding to stay behind to not cause any issues.
"They want to make sure mama is okay", you smiled, petting their heads as you watched them meow in satisfaction, curling up around you and purring softly as if they hadn't just hissed at your husband.
.
When you got pregnant with your second baby, Max counted down the days, "so I have about a month before they go all territorial over you?", he chuckled, letting the cats go outside for a bit since the garden was closed off and safe for them, "I'd say so, yes. The second time around, mothers start to show a little bit earlier, something about muscle memory and stuff like that", you reasoned.
"Better get all the cuddles I can now", he smiled, hugging you from behind and kissing your neck, his hands rubbing your tummy softly.
(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)
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