#i'm drunk and i don't want to talk about it

[shanefuckingscott]

Building a life for with you. 🦾

Sevika promises a better life for you, she'd fight in every battle in Zaun, but can she win the battle between herself? 🦾

Warning: Angst with comfort at the end, Sevika being a jerk, Reader addicted to shimmer, horrible writing, barely proofread

🚫Men and Minors DNI🚫

This all started when Silco died. Sevika was rarely at home, even when he was alive, but still, she made it up to you in ways she can. You understood her job, you were there with here since day one. When she was with Vander, fighting on the bridge, and till she met Silco, you were there to support her. Everytime she comes home late with cuts snd bruises, she reminds that she's doing this for you, to have a better future, for your freedom.

Lately, she's been coming home once every week. She probably slept in Silco's office again, and you know she's trying her hardest to keep things running, while still finding a resolve for the other Chem-baron's turf wars. When she came home, you greeted her with her her favourite food for dinner, but she barely looked at it, and just went to bed. You, of course, being concerned for her well being, you follow her, and rub her back. "Is everything all right?" You ask with a hint of worry in your tone. She scoffs "Yeah, never better" You hear the sarcasm in her voice, and you go to her face, and kiss her, "Babe, please, take a break. Just this once. I need you home, I miss you, and every time you get home lately, you barely notice me, you don't talk to me, so please, can you just, talk?" you plead, you were almost in tears, seeing your girlfriend like this, your situation, everything feels like it's falling apart.

"Look, please, cut me some slack. I'm busy everyday dealing with everyone, just please get off my back just this once." That hurt. That hurt more than it should have. Maybe it was because you're sensitive. You try to understand her line of work as best as you can, but even you were only human. "I understand..." And with that, you get off her, and she's already snoring. She doesn't know, but you slept on the couch that day.

You could feel a rift between you and Sevika's relationship getting bigger and bigger by the day. She comes home with a new arm, with someone's blood on her, and she just casually mentions Smeech and her got into a fight, and wanted no more questions. You try your best, your absolute best to keep you too from falling apart. You try to make Sevika's day a little better, cooking for her, giving her space, preparing her lunch that she never eats, she comes home with the food already spoiled, and just leaves it for you to clean. Every night, she doesn't know, but you're not next to her. Or maybe she does. Maybe she just doesn't care. She hasn't said 'I love you' to you in weeks, she hasn't smile, hugged, or even kissed you.

The last straw was when she came home drunk after some fight with a piltie, and her girlfriend. She had bruises everywhere, she even had bitemarks on her. She looked like shit. You rushed to ask her if she was okay, and what happened, but she just pushed you away when you tried to give her a hug, and she just walked passed you. That was your breaking point. With tears in your eyes, you ask "Do you still even love me at all?" You were trying to hold your tears in, and stop them from spilling, much to no avail. So you're just wiping your face, not looking at her. "I'm not in the mood for this." She just says, not caring. And that was it. You lost your Sevika. You even wondered if she even was yours in the first place. Maybe you're just someone that keeps her grounded once in awhile, but as much as you love her, you were wondering if she felt the same anymore. Or at all. Everytime she was in the house, it felt like you were talking to a brick wall. And that’s when it dawned on you, that maybe she doesn't care about you as much as she says she does. You saw her lunch spoiled again, and you cried. That was it.

While she was in the bathroom, you were already fixing your things as quickly as possible. She probably wouldn't care if you were doing it infront of her. You hide your things, and you pretend to read a book in your bed. She just looks at you, and then she proceeds on doing what she's doing, and she lays in bed, facin gaway from you. You could gear her sigh, and you were trying your best not to cry. You were both quiet for a bit, until you finally decide to break the silence, and the tension between you two. With a different tone of voice, you just calmly ask her, "Do you still love me?" she doesn't respond. "Do you still love me, Sevika?" your eyes starting to wet, but you were met with no response again. The tears are now running down your face, but you try your best to cry silently, as you put the book down, you finally lay in bed sniffling, and till you just say, "Goodnight, Sevika. I love you." And that was the last thing heard from that night.

When Sevika woke up, she was just about to make a quick trip to the bathroom, and then head to work. When she notices the lack of your presence. She tries looking for you in the kitchen, in the bedroom again, in the bathroom, the living room, and outside. You weren't there. Where were you? She went back to the kitchen, and saw a note on the refrigerator she failed to see earlier. It wrote,

"My love, I've been with you through everything, I was with you on your worst days, and I was with you on your best days. There's no doubt in my heart how much I loved you. And I still do, but lately, I've been feeling that maybe you don't love me too. I know you always say, 'Everything I do, I do for you' which I appreciated, truly, but lately, I feel like our relationship is only one sided now, and it hurts. I trycto give you th love you want, and now, I just realized that maybe the only way you'll love me too, is when I'm far away from you. I'll miss you very much, every single day. I'll miss the days we were happy together, the days that you were happy with me. I hope someday, you find someone that'll make you as happy, as you made me these last few years.

– Sincerely, yours Y/N"

Sevika didn't know she could feel this hurt. She can't. She knows she's been pushing you away, she knows it's her that didn't value your efforts, she knows it was her that made you feel like you weren't important. She knows how hard you tried to keep you both together. She knows she fucked up. And now, you're gone.

The whole morning, she couldn't think straight while she was working. All she kept thinking was you, where have you been? It was like you had planned to leave, that's what hurt her the most. The note was true, you stuck around, when everything was going bad, and supported her. You were there. And now things are resolved, it was like you were one of her problems that had goe on their own. But you weren't. You're the whole reason she fights every single day, even though she failed to show you. She wants you back, she needs you back.

For the past few weeks, she's been looking for you everywhere, asking around, but she's not hearing from you. All she does is drink, and go home. Every night, before she falls asleep, she silently cries, and misses you. She smells your pillows before she falls asleep, and she hugs them. It was the only thing left of you. It was as if you were never there. Although your smell still lingers. She misses your presence. She misses the homecook meals you make her, she misses when you would greet her from work. Your face, when she comes back. Your smile, just, you as a whole. She misses you.

She feels regret of the times she let you sleep alone, the times she didn't say 'I love you' to you. The times she was tired from work, and she couldn't see what you were making her, but she knows you're right behind her, cleaning her wounds. Kissing her back, and then getting up, to give her space. It gets so hard every day, where she doesn't see you on the couch, reading your favourite book. She doesn't see your face smiling at her everytime you see her. She knows she's not the perfect lover, but she still wondered why you stick around. All of the things she didn't appreciate when you were there, she longs for now. She'd kill to hear your voice, to smell your scent, and to see your smile again.

A month goes by, she had a haircut, because you weren't there to tie her hair up for her, she quit smoking, and she got a new piercing. She's still actively looking for you, though. Everytime there's a rally, she always looks around to find you, but you're never there. The house that used to be a home for her is just a place where she sleeps now. She spends most of her time, drinking, gambling, taking care of the chem-barons, and or looking for you.

Until one day, your friend came up to Sevika. She told her where you're staying, she told her that you got new apartment. But that wasn't the reason she came to her. She said she hasn't heard from you in awhile, and you weren't answering her calls, and opening the door when she knocked. She got worried, and she had a hunch of what was happening, so she immediately went to Sevika. When Sevika heard the news, it was like her stomach dropped. She stopped to process everything she learned about you. But then she snapped out of it. "Take me to her."

When she got to your new apartment, it was much smaller than your old house together. She knocked at your door, to get no answer. She knocked again harder, but you still weren't answering. At this point she's getting more worried than ever, more worried than she's ever been. You leaving was one thing, since she knows she'll find her ways to you. But she was worried you died. She's now panting, her heart was racing. She's calling out your name, while knocking loudly. She went to peak to the window to you room, her heart stopped.

You were right there, with empty vials of shimmer in your hand. Some were scattered on the floor. You were laying there, it was like you were just asleep. "Fuck" she days to herself. She knew that shimmer was bad, and she was also addicted to it once. But, she never expected to see you resorting this. She knew she was the only one you had left, since you had no family, but she didn't know you were suffering this much. It was all so heavy in her heart, as it was on yours. But she couldn't think of her self right now.

She bursts the door open, and pics you up. She listens to your heartbeat. It was faint. She couldn't keep herself from crying any longer, as she carries, and takes you to Silco's medics. "Please, help her, do anything just don't let her die!" She orders, she was worried about you. She typically wasnt the one to cry, but all she could think about was you getting back to her, and it hurts her to think that there was a chance that you might not. She clenched her heart, when the doctors took you away to pump all the drugs out of your body. When they took you away, and she was all alone, she had an outburst, and she didn't leave until they tell her she could see you again.

You were now stabilized, but you were left in a coma, due to you overdosing. Sevika cries, day and night, waiting for the day you wake up. She doesn't drink anymore, she doesn't smokke. She makes sure she's with you at times where she doesn't have work to do. She talks to you in your coma, hoping you can hear her pleading for you to wake up, and apologizing to you for not being a good lover. She tells you about her day. She often talks about Jinx, and Isha, while you're out. What she had for lunch, and she tells you how much she misses your cooking. She falls asleep on a chair and rests her head on your bed.

When you finally woke up, your head felt heavy. You blink for a moment, when u feel weight on your leg thighs. That's when you see her. You heart beats fast, and it can actually be seen and heard on the machine. Sevika woke up worried, when she saw your heartbeat spike up, and her eyes go to your face, and she freezes. You woke up. She goes to hug, and kiss you, she's telling you sorry a million times, but you don't have the energy to hug her back, so you just smile. And suddenly, tears start rolling down your face, and Sevika stops as she hears you sniffle. "B-Babe! I'm so sorry about everything, I shouldn't have done that to you, you have no idea how much I regret everything I did to you, I want to be better, for us, for you, I know I'm not a perfect—" You kiss her.

For the first time in a while, you both feel genuinely happy again. Together. The kiss lasted for a while, and admittedly it was one of the best kisses you had your whole relationship. You both pull back to catch your breaths, but she pulls your face closer to hers, and whispers "I love you." You guys cry together the whole night in the hospital, after the nurses give you a check up. She's right beside you, re-telling the stories she shared you in your coma. You saw her smiling again, and your face is filled with joy. She's happy to see your smile too, and admitting that it was the first thing she misses about you.

Who knew one of you and Sevika's best dates would be in a hospital, but you wouldn't change a thing about it. You wouldn't change a thing about her. You're happy as long as she's hapoy, and she's happy as long as you're happy. The whole night was an emotional roller coaster of laughing and crying together, but ever since that night, you felt tour relationship with Sevika get stronger, and you're now alot closer.

After a few months, you both swore off drinking, smoking, and taking shimmer all together. Except that time she finally became a council. You both share a drink together to toast her achievement. And you're right there by her side, like you said you would. It was one of the many things Sevika loves about you. You both kept your promises to each other. She may not be the perfect girlfriend, or the perfect person, but she knows she's gonna get married to one.

Sevika proposed to you on your anniversary, now that she's given you the thing you thought was impossible, but everythings possible with Sevika. The freedom, the better future, the world she said she'd build for you. But she just now realized, she was building it WITH you.

And you lived happily, ever, after.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yes, it's all cheezy, I couldn't keep hurting myself, or you for too long. heh.

[venussaidso]

Mekhi Alante Lucky and Jeremy Meeks are two male models who got spotted from their mugshots.

It's very likely that they could both have Ketu-ruled Moons — Mekhi Alante Lucky with Mula Moon and Jeremy Meeks with Ashwini Moon.

The 'reformed delinquent' is something I've noticed a lot for Ketuvians, especially the men. For example, Ashwini Moon Matt Dillion was discovered by a casting agent while bunking off school, being rebellious early on — only to then play an actual delinquent fictional character. “I wasn’t in class, you could say that. I think why I ended up doing that movie was because I connected so much with the character. I recognized this kid, he was a juvenile delinquent – he was in a much worse place than I was, probably.”

This took me back to the character Roi, from the Spanish series Berlin, played by Mula Moon Julio Peña. Roi is literally a reformed delinquent — I touched on his character a bit more in my post Ketu Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 2) 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝟑.

And Roi randomly reminded me of Fontaine from They Cloned Tyrone, who's played by Magha Moon John Boyega. Fontaine's initial purpose of existing is to be a hard ass drug dealer, maintaining the cycle of violence and stagnancy within his community — which he means to transcend when he discovers that everything about his role in his town is simply manufactured.

This arc supporting the reformed delinquent.

Also, Matt Dillion talking about bunking school reminded me of an old guy friend of mine that I went to high school with throughout. He had Ashwini Moon. He used to bunk class regularly since the ninth grade, and was a heavy drinker already. He was always caught up in violence and conflict. I'm not sure if he's reformed, but last time he drunk called me at night before a school exam, telling me he accidentally stabbed someone– that person is luckily alive. Anyway, not all Ashwini natives will be like this or are like this — before someone lectures me in the comments. But he was a dangerous individual. Unfortunately, at that time, I didn't see that side of him fully. We used to walk together everyday after school, we would talk about everything and anything. The potential to reform or rehabilitate is there [but I don't trust men to change].

And just last year, I encountered a Magha Moon guy, who is the ex boyfriend of my Magha stellium friend. We were all talking about some random shit before he started talking about dark stuff. He looked me straight in my eyes and told me he stabbed his stepdad the year before. He's a very scary individual, and unfortunately I still cross paths with him on campus. Being random as I am, I had asked for his birth details upon first meeting — because his ragged appearance looked very Martian/Ketuvian and I just wanted to confirm my suspicions. His nature is very, very draining and abusive.

Ashwini Moon Dennis Rodman has been also known for his delinquent antics for his entire career, never caring for others and what others think. This level of detachment from Ketu definitely makes these individuals possibly dangerous as they don't care about rules or crossing boundaries. For example, Rodman had been attacking cameramen while he's literally playing in the game [basketball] — one day he violently kicked a cameraman in the groin and got this guy hospitalized, paying him $200,000 in settlement.

Mula Sun, Ashwini Moon Jared Leto is also known for being creepy & abusive towards his cast members and other celebrities. He's also a cult member. He's also known for attacking his fans.

And finding out that Suge Knight has Sun in Ashwini was quite shockingly validating as he reminds of that former Ashwini guy friend of mine. Suge Knight has always been violent since high school, being kicked off football teams due to his headless nature and drive to cross the lines — always using the game as an excuse to destroy his opponents, but gaining nothing material at all from it. This is extremely Ketuvian of him, as his Moon is conjunct Ketu as well. And his Ketu is exalted, being in Jyestha nakshatra.

Also, you might notice that Venus nakshatra natives will have an overlap with Ketu nakshatra natives. I know for sure that Venusians can be inclined to violence. Chris Brown is the most typical Venus nakshatra man I could think of right now.

Sidereal fire signs, and sidereal Scorpios, tend to show up in people who behave dangerously. Xxxtentacion had sidereal Scorpio Moon, and he was a delinquent.

Erykah Badu has sidereal Scorpio ASC.

[yoongelectric]

Blame it on the vodka - LN4

— part 2 of drunk in love

genre: angst and fluff

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

warnings: lando is an asshole at the beginning, curse words

notes: english isn’t my first language, i don’t know if there’s gonna be a part 3

tags @htpssgavi

"You know we'll have to talk about this tomorrow, right?"

"Tomorrow, I promise" Lando kissed your forehead and soon you were both asleep.

-

Lando woke up with his arms around your waist and the smell of your hair invading his senses. As soon as his eyes landed on you he thought about how much he would like to have a pause button to stop time at that exact moment. He knew that when you woke up he would have to face what he’d done under the influence of alcohol and he had no idea what he would do.

The battle in his mind was already giving him a headache, how could he go on with his life once he knew how it felt to have you, make love to you, wake up with you in his arms and finally treat you as something more than just a friend, it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But how could he ask you to be his girlfriend if he knew that you would have to make so many sacrifices, you had your life here, your job, your family, your friends, how could he make you choose between leaving that to follow him or seeing him only a few times a month? Could you keep a long-distance relationship or had the impulsive decision he made the night before ruined what the two of you had?

You woke up with a piercing headache and the strange sensation of someone looking at you, although your confusion lasted only a few seconds as you remembered the events of the night, a smile spread across your face as you turned to face your... should you say best friend yet?

"Good morning," you said, looking at him lovingly and moving to leave a kiss on his cheek.

But your brows furrowed when you saw that Lando was not looking at you with the same smile or the same joy you had, he looked a little worried, even upset you would say.

"Is something wrong? Or should I get used to you being in a bad mood in the mornings?" You asked, with a smile, trying to ease the tension.

"Sorry, I'm still a little sleepy" Lando smiled but you knew him, you noticed how forced his expression was. You were going to ask again but he got up and started getting dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" you asked a little worried, you didn't want to be annoying but lando's actions were giving you a sinking feeling in your chest.

Why did he seem to feel the same as you yesterday and today he treated you like a stranger?

"I have to go home, y/n" he said as he rushed around the room looking for his things.

He didn't know why he was doing this, he knew it wasn't the most mature thing for him to do and it definitely wasn't the right choice. But he needed to think, he needed time, a few more moments before facing the possibility of hurting you.

He didn't want to admit it but he was terrified, and he had to force himself not to look at you, to not meet your disappointed gaze, because he knew that if that happened he wouldn't be able to leave.

"You promised me we were going to talk today," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Maybe you were imagining things, Lando could be behaving the same as always and you were just sensitive, but the way he avoided your gaze, how it seemed like the mere fact of being in your house bothered him and how cold he was being towards you confirmed that it wasn't just in your head.

"Yesterday you asked me to stop avoiding you, to go back to how I was before, but now you’re the one pushing me away"

Lando knew you were right, that a real man would face you and tell you all his worries, but what would happen next?

"y/n I really have a lot of things to do today, I don't have time for this" Lando took his keys and headed to the door.

You didn't know what to feel, your heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and you were mad at him at the same time, how could he play with you like that, how could he tell you that he loved you and now leave you all alone?

You followed him hoping he would choose to stay but the person next to you seemed to be a completely different person than the one who went home with you yesterday.

"I asked you not to use me just to get your dick wet, Lando, I thought I meant enough to you to at least respect that."

Against all your will your voice broke, and you couldn't help but think of all the times you had cried and he had been there to comfort you, how could it be that he was now the reason for your tears?

Lando stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard you cry, and he hated himself for all the decisions that led him to hurt you.

"y/n don't say that, you mean the world to me, but last night was a mistake, we both know it" he said trying to grab your hand but you took a step back.

"We both know it? No, Lando, actually no, it felt perfectly fine for me, and no, I didn't know i was a mistake for you" your sadness turning into rage.

"You are not a mistake for me, last night i told you i loved you and I stand by it, I love you more than i love myself, but what's the point? I can't be with you, pretending that i could was the mistake"

"Why can't you be with me? I'm not pretty enough? Or famous? Or rich enough?" Your tears made it difficult to speak "I should have known, you don't consider me worthy of your love."

"I don't give a shit about your fame or your money, y/n, actually, I'm the one who's not worthy of you" Lando grabbed his head in exasperation and took a deep breath "you’d never be happy with me, we barely see each other, and I'm always busy with work, I could never give you the attention you deserve and I wouldn’t be the boyfriend I want to be for you."

"Who are you to decide what makes me happy or not, Lando?" You took a step forward and pointed at him with your finger "don't use time and your job as an excuse when the truth is that you're not willing to be the boyfriend you say I deserve" you yelled at him, your face red of anger

"Actually, I would do anything to be that man, y/n," his shoulders drooping in defeat, "but what if I can't? If I ruin everything and you end up hating me? I can't let that happen, don't you understand?"

"I don't know what's going to happen, Lando, I can't promise that everything is going to be okay and that we're going to live happily ever after" you grabbed his hand trying to calm down both of you "but what we feel is on the table, and what I can promise you that I am going to hate you if you leave now and leave me with my heart in my hand."

"I don't even know how to be a boyfriend, y/n. what if I'm not what you want?" Lando rested his head on your shoulder and you wrapped him with your arms, the anger was still inside you but the love you felt for him was stronger, you couldn’t see him in such distress.

"love, it's not like I don't know you, I'm know you're what I want, you don't have to change anything" you kissed his temple while caressing his hair

"i’m so so so sorry, baby, I didn't mean to make you cry, I didn't mean to be such a pussy” he took a deep breath “if we actually do this, will you be patient with me?" you felt him lean into your touch and knew he was finally opening up to the idea.

"I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend right now, we'll go as slow as you want" you held his face so he could look you in the eyes "the only thing I'm asking you is that you don't hurt me, don't leave without explanation, because I spent a lot of time thinking that you were never going to see me as something more than a friend and this is all new to me too."

Lando nodded and gave you a soft peck on the lips.

"forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking, I love you, I'm going to do everything I can to make this work."

and for the first time since you admitted that you were in love with him, you were sure that he felt the same, you weren't stupid, you knew it would be difficult, but you would both make it work, at the end of the day you were made for each other.

[sweetbillwriting]

Way Out of Line

SIX

Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.

Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

I wore a simple skater dress with a pair of black ballerina flats. You could see the dress was expensive, though, because it was made with thick black silk. It was purchased that autumn but I had only worn it once to the Thanksgiving dinner one of my dad's patients held. I felt really pretty in the dress but not too overdressed, but I was compared to Keith. He didn't seem to be the kind of guy who dressed up, and he wore the same outfit from earlier that day. I didn't mind because he looked handsome in everything, and it was a bit sexy that he didn't care, even if the restaurant was a really fancy one. I was once again surprised he had spent so much money on me, and I looked at him with big eyes while he ordered champagne for himself.

“I’ll have the same,” I said with a blush. Keith turned his eyes to me.

“You don't need to, honey.”

“I want to.”

I smiled a little and turned towards the waiter again.

“Okay…” Keith looked at the waiter and smacked his lips. “Bring us the bottle then. Dom Perignon."

We cheered in our sparkling wine, and he told me about his younger years. For a couple of years he lived in the town we were in. He was an off the books working musician and also found extra work in an industry making glass bottles. It was a simple life, but he talked about it like it had been wonderful years.

“How old were you?” I asked with a smile while they served our first course.

“It was when I dropped out of college, so 24, 25?”

He started to eat his foie gras like he ate a fried egg, but right then and there I didn't think about how nonchalantly he ate the luxury food but just imagined a younger Keith.

“Why did you become friends with my dad? He was like thirty when you were twenty…”

Keith licked his knife and looked at me with his big green eyes. He looked so kind and innocent now as he sat there, compared to how I had seen him before.

“I guess we got along, and he didn't treat me like I was just… yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders and licked off his fork too. I nodded a little even if I didn't know what he meant. He cleared his throat and took one more sip of the champagne. I could see that he didn't want to talk about my dad anymore. Instead he asked me about what I would do during the weeks he was away, and that led us to talk about my family's yearly ski trip to Aspen. Keith didn't ski but still seemed curious about our trip that we would leave for in a week. He was sweet that way, always showing interest in my things.

The nice conversation, the good food, and his warm smile in candlelight made me relax a bit too much, so when Keith ordered a bottle of red wine for our venison, I drank some of that too. I never drank so much, and on the way home, it was obvious to everyone around us that I was really drunk.

If I had been more sober, I would have noticed people looking at us in a different way now when I needed to lean on him and my mascara had started to smudge. Earlier we had gotten away with him looking older than me, but now people looked at him skeptically when he almost carried me to a taxi and I was whining about how sorry I was. He was also so much bigger than me that there was no question he owned all the power.

“Miss, are you okay?” asked a middle-aged couple when we stood waiting on the elevator. I was pressed against Keith's side and whined about the spinning world around me. Keith looked at the couple, then down at me.

“Yeah?” I said, trying to hold my gaze straight.

“Are you here with your—?” Asked the man before looking at Keith. He looked at him with fear but kept himself straight because he knew he couldn't do anything there.

I giggled a little, totally oblivious to their worry but that was also what made my answer much more sincere and believable.

“Keith? He's my boyfriend.” I looked at him and spilled all my daydreams like they were real facts. “I love him so much. We will get married one day.” I giggled and hugged him around his waist. Keith smiled at the couple awkwardly.

“I promise you, there was just a bit too much wine for dinner,” he said and then turned his gaze to the elevator door that opened in front of our eyes. The woman giggled a little.

“Okay, have a nice night.”

“You too,” said Keith with a strained smile while leading me into the empty elevator. When the door had closed, I looked up at him with a dopey smile. He smiled back with a sigh and dragged his hands through my hair.

“I will never give you wine again.”

I giggled and stood up on my toes so he could kiss me, and he did while holding me up straight. Even if my head was spinning and I felt a bit sick, I couldn't understand why he didn't think I should drink alcohol. I felt sexy, confident, and brave, so when our kiss should have been over, I deepened it and dragged my hand over his crotch. Even through the thick denim fabric, I could feel his bulge, and my pulse wandered down between my legs at once. Keith breathed out deeply in my mouth and continued to kiss me while I unbuttoned his jeans and snuck down my hand in his charcoal-colored boxers. My hand met his half-hard length, and I took hold of it firmly. Even if I had been so confident from the alcohol, I became nervous when I actually stood there with my hand in his underwear. I didn't have a clue what I should do next. I wanted to be that wild, sexy girl, but I couldn't because I didn't know how they acted. The nerves made me also feel more sick, and I stumbled slightly when Keith leaned back to see what I did to him. He caught me in his arms at once and sighed again. Carefully he pulled my hand away from him and laid it on his chest instead.

“This is not a good idea, baby girl. You need to sleep and… We're in an elevator.”

I looked up at him in shame, close to tears, but the elevator opening interrupted me. Lucky for us, there was no one outside of it, so Keith lifted me up koala style and let his jeans hang open. It was nice being carried through the hallway without needing to think about putting my foot in front of the other. I just needed to think about Keith's heavenly scent and his broad shoulders. I really wanted him, but he was probably right. I needed to sleep.

In the suite, Keith sat me down on the bed and helped me with my coat and shoes. Even if he was crouched down in front of me, he felt so big, and for a short second, I felt so powerless. I really was alone with such a big man. He could do whatever he wanted with me, but when he looked up at me with his boyish good looks, I forgot about the silly feeling and just giggled when he stood up to be able to open the zipper on the back of my dress and pull it off of my body with some struggle. I watched him hanging it up in a hanger in the wardrobe and putting my shoes and coat by the door. It looked like he was used to taking care of someone, so when he asked me to lie down so he could pull off my tights, I remembered the nickname he wanted to be called.

“You're my Daddy…”

I could feel his fingers on the lining of the tights stop moving just for a second, and then I could hear him say in a soft, protective way:

“Yes, baby girl. And I will take care of you. Just like a daddy should.”

I smiled and closed my eyes while he pulled off my tights. I had totally forgotten I wore the black lingerie set and how the lace didn't cover much of me; still, Keith didn't say anything about it.

“Do you want me to take off the bra or do you want to sleep in it?”

“Hmm?” I looked down at my chest, seeing the delicate fabric, and then sat up on my elbows so I could also see the panties. Keith stood in front of me with his hands on my knees, caressing them gently. I looked at him, even examined everything with him before spreading my legs even more, knowing he could see most of me.

“I want you, Daddy.”

Keith smiled but looked a little condescending when he laughed lowly.

“I can see that, but you need to sleep.”

“But Daddy…” I whined, letting the role of a whiny little girl take over. Playing the role was easy because, if I were honest, it had never left me; it was just that I whined for other things now.

“You're drunk and vulnerable right now. Whether you like it or not, I will not sleep with you in that state.”

I pouted, but he just answered with a laugh and then lifted me up and laid me down on the pillow.

“Bra on or off?” He said softly, as he played with the strap.

“Off,” I muttered. Keith was just smirking, amused at me, while he helped me pull off my triangle bra over my head which revealed my chest for him. I didn't want to cover up and instead challenged him by sitting up on my elbows.

“Daddy…” I whine again. It was weird how quickly the pet name had become his, but at that moment I couldn't see him as anything else. I knew he wasn't my boyfriend, but not just a friend. He was too caring to be a friend with benefits. He was my Daddy. Keith hushed me and laid the cover over me.

“The makeup and the rest we’ll take care of tomorrow, okay? Goodnight, baby.”

He hadn't even taken off his clothes, and I furrowed my brows.

“You don’t even lie in bed?”

“No, I will make myself ready for bed in the bathroom, and when I come out, you will be asleep.”

“No, I won't?”

"Yes, you will. Shut your eyes now.” He gave me a forehead kiss while I rolled my eyes under my eyelids. He spoke like he knew so much, but he also did because the next day when I woke up, I couldn't even remember him walking to the bathroom.

×××

I'm making the most of my life 'til the day that I hit 25. I know that they'll make an adult of me. I know that I'm not quite ready to be…

Of course I had heard about hangovers and feeling gross the next day after intoxication, but I had never experienced it, nor that morning did I feel it. I woke up almost on top of Keith's broad, naked body, using him more as a mattress than the bed. Carefully, I sat up to be able to see his face. His face lay in profile, pushed down in the pillow while he was snoring lightly. He was so beautiful, and I traced his jaw and cheekbone with my finger. He could have been a model if he wanted to. I looked down on his body again. His body was so attractive and manly, and when I looked at his member, my nether regions involuntarily clenched. He was soft, but still my body reacted to it. I wanted him inside of me again. It was a foreign feeling, the horniness, but with him I wanted to embrace it. It was too exciting together with him.

I pulled off my panties so I was as bare as him, then I scooted close to his body. I wanted him so bad that the feeling of needing to pee came back, and I pushed my fingers against my pussy to stop the pressure.

“Daddy, please wake up? Daddy?” I whined, pushing his chest. I continued to do so until I realized I needed to do more than that to wake him up. Clumsily, I mounted him and shook his shoulders.

“Daddy!”

Keith opened his eyes groggily and dragged a hand over his face. He started with looking at my face, but it didn't take long for him to realize I sat naked over his naked body and how I was so wet he could feel it seeping out on his lower belly. He didn't say anything; instead, he closed his eyes but dragged his hands over my naked thighs, hips, and bum. I started to believe he would continue to sleep, so I wiggled on top of him.

“Daddy!”

He hushed me but continued to drag his big hands over me, coming closer and closer to my pussy. I leaned back when I realized he wouldn't sleep at all and instead invited his fingers in between my lips to drag them through my wetness. I hoped he would find my clit again, but he was searching for my opening to see if I was ready for more than just a couple of fingers. He forced his fingers in harshly and moved them in and out of me in the same way. It did hurt a little, but I had started to get used to his harsher ways. With his other hand he took a hold of himself, his cock that was fully erect now, and asked for playtime.

“Lean forward…” He whispered and pulled his hand away from my pussy so he could push my back lightly. I did what I was told because I wanted the same thing as he, and I giggled when he dragged the head of his cock between my lips and cheeks. Keith gave me a dimpled smile but didn't open his eyes.

“It will probably hurt a bit now too, okay? I don't think you've gotten used to me.”

I looked at his face even if his eyes were shut.

“Okay…”

With one hand on my left cheek, he steered my hips, and the other holding his stiffness in place, he pushed himself in, in my sore pussy. I was obviously sore from the day before because it burned. I made some pained sounds that made Keith open his eyes, but instead of asking for relief, I sat up so more of him glided into my entrance.

Keith sat up on his elbow, so I sunk down even more on him, and he looked at me with a smirk.

“Good girl…”

I whined but let Keith force my ass down completely against him. I could feel him up in my belly and felt sick for a while until he lifted his hips so I fell forward against his chest a bit.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No. God no.”

“Ride it then. Ride me hard.”

I moved the best I could against him, but he corrected my rhythm over and over. Some things did hurt too much, though; when he slipped in too deep or when he made me lay against his chest and fucked me so hard I could feel bruises shape just on the skin around my opening. I didn't stop though, not even when he put the soles of his feet against the bed and worked his hips up so hard I bounced on his length. He hit something in me that felt like a stabbing in my belly, but I didn't stop because it was too good to be close to him, to feel his hands and eyes on me. It felt like he was owning me for that moment. I wanted to be his in one way or another, and in that moment there was no doubt I was his.

I wasn't ready that in the middle of the pain an orgasm would start to build, but as soon as I started to moan louder and faster, Keith reacted and worked his hips even harder. Together we became louder, drowning out the sound of our slapping skin.

“Let it go! Let it go, baby!” He growled until I finally got ripped apart by the orgasm spreading from my pussy out in my limbs. I didn't notice that he came too until I felt his sticky juice run out of me, but he continued to work himself out of me even if the cream coated both of our sexes. He just continued to push it in until he was too soft to continue.

He laughed a little while lifting me off of him. I felt completely boneless but also so sore my pussy felt like an open wound. Still, I just looked at him like he was God himself. I had never felt anything like this and thought to myself that he was the meaning of life.

We lay next to each other, breathing deeply, until he smiled big at me.

“Your pussy is fucking heaven… Baby girl…”

He looked down and forced my knees apart so he could look at my pussy, spastic and swollen, smeared with his seed. I feared he would touch me again but he also knew I wouldn't say no to him.

“I will take care of her… Can you stand up?”

I shook my head because for me it was obvious my weak legs didn't work for the moment. Keith smirked a little and stood up on his own strong legs. His thigh muscles moved with every step.

“It's hard to take a shower then, but she can't look like that…” He lifted me up easily, bridal style, and took me to the bathroom. I wondered what he would do but followed him with an open mind.

Keith sat me down on the counter by the basin and encouraged me to put my feet up too. I felt really exposed where I sat naked with my legs spread like that, but I could also feel myself get wet again while Keith stood naked next to me, wetting a towel he would probably wash my intimate parts with. I could hear my pulse in my ears because I would have never let a guy do such a thing to me, never let a guy see me that exposed, but now I was there having a grown man pressing a wet towel between my legs like I couldn't take care of myself. Still, I liked it. I laid my hands on Keith's shoulders while he washed me, and I looked at his face. He looked so sweet and kind. He almost looked angelic with his big eyes, pixie nose, and full lips, but then he looked up at me with a hooded gaze and a small smirk. A look that changed his face.

“Say ‘thank you, daddy,’” he said when he was finished, still with the same dark expression. I looked at him with big eyes, mesmerized by his beauty.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

Cross my heart, uncross my legs. Oh, when I'm done, I better pray. I want the high, I want the rush. Don’t call it love, that's not enough…

×××

We had been careless and hadn't thought about protection, but when Keith realized I wasn't using any contraceptive, he hurried right away to buy the morning-after pill and then left me alone in the suite. I took the time to rest and showered when I felt the strength in my legs come back. In the shower I realized that Keith and I would say goodbye in just hours, and a lump formed in my throat. We had lived together for more than a month, but now he would go away for such a long time. I wanted to feel sure that he wouldn't forget me and that he wouldn't be with another girl, but I wasn't. Keith wasn't my boyfriend; he was someone else's husband albeit going through a divorce. In a way I was the mistress, but I couldn't be sure he would be satisfied with just me.

What did I even know about him? He had met my whole family; he knew where I studied and about my previous relationship. What did I know?

Dressed in just a fluffy robe after my shower, I opened his big suitcase, packed with all the belongings he had gotten from his separation. T-shirts and sweaters were folded in neat piles together with his laptop, cables, and earphones. In a pocket on the lid was a pair of running shoes and a burgundy raincoat. There wasn't much more than that, so instead I looked through his wallet that lay on the nightstand; he must have just taken a credit card with him. He had several credit cards, a gym membership card, his ID card, and a black anonymous card. I took a long look at his ID and dragged a finger over his picture. He looked so innocent with his big eyes looking directly into the camera. I gazed at the image with warm cheeks but laid the wallet down when I could feel the clock ticking. I walked back to the bathroom, but instead of fixing my hair as my plan was, I started to dig through his toiletry bag. It was dark blue and contained drugstore skin care and a well-used toothbrush in pink. It didn't look so interesting at first, but then in an inside pocket some interesting things were tucked in. Three condoms, a business card from a Susanne Leonel, and his wedding band. The ring was in brushed gold with a line in the middle made of platinum. I felt a bit sick looking at it in my palm, but I still tried it on all my fingers. It was far too big, and even if I felt sick knowing it was his wedding band, I smirked to myself. He was so big. While taking it off my little finger, I saw the engraving inside of it and gave it a closer look.

May & Keith 2015-05-30

“May”? Was that her name? Was his wife's name May? Was that even a name? I tried to picture how a May could look and could just see an old lady in front of me. I looked at myself in the mirror and let the robe slip down from my shoulders. I knew I was pretty, but I also knew I still looked a bit childish. May didn't look childish; I knew that. She probably was the same age as Keith; they had been married far too long for her to be much younger. Ten years. I was eleven when they got married. It was a weird thought, but I would rather be his young mistress than his old wife. I knew he would pick me over her. I opened up the robe and let it fall to the floor. I looked at my body closely, dragging my hands over perky nipples and rounded hips. He would pick me over May. I put the ring on my index finger and smirked at my own reflection. He didn't need the ring anymore so instead of putting it back in his toiletry bag I put it down inside my own, then I walked out naked to the bed, waiting for him with my legs spread wide.

The skyline falls as I try to make sense of it all. I thought I'd uncovered your secrets, but, turns out, there's more…

×××

Keith drove me home but not the whole way so my parents wouldn't see him come back. With teary eyes and a pussy that felt ripped apart, I said goodbye to him. He gave me several kisses while I begged him, Daddy, to not go, but he explained he needed to do his job, then he left me alone on the side of the road a few houses from my parents’ house, with my tears streaming. I knew I was silly, but something about him made me feel so small, like he needed to be close to me and take care of me. It was a tragic thought that I wouldn't see him for three whole weeks, and when I came into the house, I didn't even try to hide my tears. My dad looked up at me from the dinner table where he sat with his laptop and furrowed his brows.

“What is it, honey?”

“I just feel sick. I think I got the flu…” I cried and dried my cheeks while walking up the stairs. He walked out to the hallway and looked after me.

“Should I make some tea for you?”

“It's okay, Dad.”

I didn't even think about how I addressed him, but unconsciously he had become just Dad now. I had another Daddy now, the only man who could care and protect me. Keith Toshko.

×××

Don't leave me lonely. Don't leave me unhappy. Just bring me up into your fate. If you don't need me, then don't deceive me. Letting my freedom turn into stone. Just be my angel, if you love me…

I had stayed in my room, lying in bed like I actually was sick. My mom had checked up on me a couple of times, stroking my hair away from my forehead that wasn't warm and giving me tea for a throat that wasn't sore. The only thing that was sore was my pussy but also my aching heart. I missed him so much already, so when I got a text from him saying he took a break from the car ride to eat at McDonald's, I could feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest.

I miss you so much already.

I miss you too, baby. But I need to work. How are you feeling? Still sore?

I felt a blush on my cheeks because not only did I think about our time in the hotel room but also what I had said outside of the elevator. I had told the couple I loved him. I laid my hands over my face and made an involuntary sound of embarrassment. I was glad he hadn't brought it up because I understood he didn't have those feelings for me yet. He was not as naive and childish as me, but I didn't really know what I said was true either.

Yes, still sore. Do you know something that can help?

Haha, I dunno. I want to help you, baby, but I've never had those problems myself. I think you can buy calming creams at the drugstore. I think I remember something about yogurt, but that might be because it tastes better than lotion haha.

He could make me blush even if he was miles away, but the thing about yogurt didn't sound completely stupid; it sounded nice to have something cooling on, so I let him wait so I could get some yogurt, and he could guide me through it.

I walked down the stairs, obviously happier than I had been before, and prepared myself to say I felt better to my parents, but instead I sneaked into the kitchen where they were to not interrupt their conversation. Their conversation about Keith.

“That's so typical of him. Why can't he just accept a friendly hand for once?” Said my mom while she fixed herself a smoothie.

“I don't know. I guess he's just used to solving things like that,” answered my dad, leaning against the counter nonchalantly. It was obvious he didn't care as much as my mom. I opened the fridge, pretending to mind my own business.

“Solving? There is nothing to solve. We opened our home because we were worried for him, not to get money!”

“It's just his way to say thank you, Giselle. It's not like he can't afford it.”

“I know he can afford it! It's just sad that he feels obligated to pay everyone around him.”

I couldn't stop myself from turning around to look at them. I could almost guess what they were implying, but it didn't add up with Keith's humble ways.

“Is he rich?” I asked with the vanilla yogurt in my hand. My parents look at each other. My mom looked uncomfortable, but my dad just sighed.

“Yes. Keith is rich. Toshko Electronics?” With a finger, he lazily hit the logo on the mixer. “It's his family's company. He's filthy rich. He really wants to pretend to be a struggling artist, so don't say anything about it when he comes home again.”

I could hear a buzzing sound in my ears. It was probably the sound of all my thoughts and feelings flying around in my head. Keith was rich. Keith was a rich man in a divorce.

“His divorce will take ages, will it not?” I asked hopelessly without thinking about my question being weird. My mom gave me a strange look, but my dad seemed unbothered.

“Probably. She wants money while his family will not let her win, even if he just wants a friendly end.”

I could feel my eyes tearing up, and my mom gave me a worried look.

“What is it, honey?”

“Um… I just feel sorry for him. He's a really nice man. He deserves to move on.”

My mom nodded, but I could see in her eyes that she didn't really believe what I was saying. While I took a spoon, I ignored her looks, and then I walked up to my room where my phone rested on a pink pillow. Keith had sent one more message: his username on Snapchat.

So I can teach you how to put that yogurt on. It can get messy ;)

×

[summerwriting]

banner belongs to @dollywons

Author's note: i am probably going to make a part two or turn this into a little series. Also head Canon readers colour is pastel blue. Also sorry about spelling mistakes if there is any, I'm dyslexic. i am also taking requests if you're interested check out arcane writing requests

A OLD FRIEND

You worked yourself through most of your nights, and they were normally quiet and consisted of the same repetitive activities. Serves a drunk dude kicks him out serves a drunk dude gets hit on kicks him out serves a another stupid fucking drunk dude and kicks him out again. Ok so Maybe they Weren't quiet, but it was a normal Night for you. What you were not expecting to happen on your Regular Saturday night shift was an old Friend that you thought was dead walking into the bar.

“I'll get a beer” is the first thing she said to you. She definitely Didn't recognise you. That's for sure  oh boy you were going to have fun that Night.

“Coming up, vi” you snickered, shaking your head.

“How do yo– oh haha very funny, don't you Dare say it's written on my face” Vi snapped at you.

“Well it is, but would you prefer me call you Violet, Violet” you say leaning on the Counter. There was a smirk on your face 

“Im sorry what who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you know my name and i mean my full name” she got Defensive real fast wich made you Laugh and roll your eyes.

“Mmmm you'll just have to figure it out won't you” you grabbed a glass “violet” you add her name at the end just to tort her. You filled the glass full of beer, all the while vi’s eyes Scanned over you Suspicion and cautiousness in her Gaze.   

“Ok thats not funny, who the fuck are you Bitch!!!” she snapped angrily her hands went down hard on the table her voice was loud and Obnoxious almost like Shame wasn't something she even had thought of. The people in the bar went quiet at the Sudden yell and their eyes went to her and well… you.

“You might want to be quieter, girly,”  you said, slipping her glass over to her with a smile on your lips. It didn't take long for everyone to go back to their original conversations.

“How do you know who i am?, talk” her voice came out threatening and her demeanour came off as Intimidating but not to you. 

“You'll just have to remember me. I can't be that forgettable can i?”you took a seat on your side of the counter resting your head in your hands your head tilted to the side.

“Just tell me who you are,” Vi demanded. Your Eyebrows furrowed in disappointment

“I'm Y/N, you seriously couldn't recognise me?” you asked.

“Oh god” vi’s eyes widened with sock and they seemed to Light up. She Launched forward, jumping over the Counter, wrapping her arms around you. You smiled and  wrapped your arms around Vi as well. “I can't believe this, i thought i'd never see you again” her hug was so warm and comforting and loving, it brought back old memories for you and her. you remembered the butterflies you would get when she would hug you like this or hold your hand or wrap her arm around your shoulder and when she would look at you with her big beautiful blue eyes the ones she was looking at you with right now.

“You thought that. i thought you were dead” you cupped her cheek. your eyes searching hers.

“I'm so sorry sweets i was- i was- well it's a long story” vi coked out. Her hands came up to grip both sides of your face. 

“Where have you been?”you asked, you needed to know you hadn't seen her in 7 years and she just showed up like the walking dead.

“I was arrested and shoved into stillwater for 7 years and then some enforcer got me out and i went looking for powder and well im sure you know about jinx and then well me and that enforcer kissed and then i stopped her from killing a kid and then she hit me and now i'm a drunk liveing in some shity apartment.” well that was a mouthful and a lot of information for you to take in. The two things that stuck was that she had been to prison and she's been in a Relationship with an enforcer which made it even worse, because yes you were a little jealous which was stuped. you Hadn't seen her in 7 fucking years, you Shouldn't feel that she was just some silly Little crush you had when you where little that was never Reciprocated.( Because you were like 11 and she was 15 but thats not the case now)

[paingoes]

(long Paris apologia paragraph ahead sorry)

I love both Delta and Paris, and while Delta is infinitely more likable and I have more in common with Delta re: autism and child abuse, I honestly find Paris to be a more compelling character? (Part of this is because I'm also an alcoholic with complex trauma and I so very rarely see the worst parts of my trauma being represented in a sympathetic light.) I definitely get why people don't like him. he's a violent shithead, a menace to society and himself, not to mention he has the emotional intelligence of a rock.

You mentioned this in a previous post but I think you did a really good job with showing that a lot of Paris' worst qualities (his violent mood swings, his sense of entitlement, his power tripping abusive behavior etc) comes from a place of his own patheticness and refusal to change (especially the times when he breaks down after getting too drunk) and I think that's what allows me to sympathize with and like him more then anything. His childishness in his most monstrous and vulnerable moments really drives home that he's not really suited to the role of all powerful monarch he was raised to be, and who's abuse and status in the empire caused him both to grow up way too fast, while at the same time never allowing him to develop into a healthy adult and that he's in many ways, a kid in a grown person's body who sees himself as doomed to repeat the cycles of his childhood trauma that created him unless he chooses otherwise. (A horrifying and daunting task for someone like him)

Like the scene where he breaks Delta's arm and almost drowns him? It's scary as hell but what stands out to me it despite the horrible violence and long term consequences of his actions, is just how petty and childish his motivations for doing so is (which does not make them any less harmful). he's acting this way because he feels slighted and abandoned by Lorelai. You hurt me I hurt you. This gives me a lot of leeway into both sympathizing with him as someone with similar struggles while also reminding me that he's not the way he is because he's powerful, like he wants you to believe, but a very weak and jaded person who wants to feel powerful and is given the systemic means to. Which doesn't make him less dangerous.

Sorry for the long ask, I'm just very much enjoying your story, especially Paris's "being humbled by life" arc and I'm super excited about what will be in store for both him and Delta next ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

oh my godddddd this was such an amazing thing to wake up to. i kind dont even wanna post it i just want to hold onto it forever. this is so sweet.

i dont know if i can respond to all of this right now and i might talk more about the different points you brought up later. but generally i am so pleased with this analysis and im pleased you have gotten this much out of it? im gonna say more under the cut

pretty heavy warnings for child abuse. nothing explicit just discussion of institutional child abuse/complex trauma and how it affects people psychologically.

like i said i could talk about them basically forever but re: childishness and being pathetic. YEAH i mean i think it is very obvious that paris’s growth has been stunted as a result of abuse + neglect. in fact i think that growing up in empire alone is inherently stunting because it is a system very much designed to kill empathy and to breed hunger and greed in people. its a problem with the whole society, cruelty and selfishness are incentivized over developing more complex moral structures and even over developing your own identity.

[ people like lorelai are very much an outlier within Empire, but i think its clear that she is….also pretty immature? she has a lot of love and a desire to do good, which kind of makes up for it, but she is childish in the sense that her parents sheltered her and her own ideas about revolution and utopia are very very idealized. i think this delusional optimism is a good thing for paris tbh and it kinda balances out his own cynicism. but lorelai will need to grow up at some point too. its just her reckoning is allowed to be softer. ]

but paris’s case was particularly bad for a few reasons.

the most obvious is that he was prince and naturally the expectations placed on him were a lot greater and the consequences for not meeting them were a lot harsher.

paris was born with pretty severe ADHD and mood regulation issues and his symptoms only worsened the more that he was punished for them

paris at his core is a genuinely sensitive and intelligent person that understands right from wrong

and i think this alone provides a lot of context for how he is now but it also makes it easier to understand why his childhood was basically torture for him. like yeah exposure to complex trauma will kind of naturally stunt your growth at certain points but you also get the sense that paris’s growth was like. deliberately stunted or that the handicap was self-inflicted. paris acts dumber than he is. its how he makes peace with it. its cool to be a callous idiot because if you have to be a self aware and moral person in this environment you will immediately get one-shotted by guilt.

and for what it’s worth i think delta’s growth was also — obviously — stunted. but in a different way shaped by their respective roles.

it’s legitimately really gross for me to describe it this way but it does feel like one of the goals with delta’s conditioning was to make a forever-child. someone who will do what you say and remain perfectly ignorant and docile and obedient. he can be used but is basically incapable of putting up a fight. martino and simon both speak to delta like he’s a child and that infantilization is to keep him pliant and similarly trapped in that same sense of helplessness he felt when he was little :(

i think delta is very low empathy naturally and actually doesnt have an innate moral compass which is what made him such a perfect candidate for the job. but it also means he is super susceptible to getting someone else’s morals imposed onto him as long as he finds them logical and coherent. his ability to morally reason and his way of interacting with people is obviously very underdeveloped but its more immediately obvious why.

ive said before that i think delta is more emotionally mature than paris but i think maybe this paints an incorrect view of things? i mean. delta is not holding his tongue and regulating his own emotions because he thinks its a mature thing to do. hes doing it because he knows not to speak without permission and that if he ever had an outburst the way paris did, he would be beaten within an inch of his life. so i feel like maybe its wrong to attribute this as one of his virtues. (without totally discounting the fact that delta is very sweet and doing his best.) delta would very much struggle with like. setting boundaries, standing up for himself in any way, communicating his feelings. you can describe paris as childish but i think delta is childlike. in that he’s also suffering the consequences of abuse but his specific conditioning has made him more fawny in a way that reads as sympathetic and virtuous.

basically yeah my point was. they were both stunted at some critical point in their development and are both dealing with the consequences of that. paris was a victim but he was simultaneously groomed to be a perpetrator, versus delta who is mostly victim.

anyway thanks so much wow im gonna print this whole ask out ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[bstandsforbabydaddy]

*peter licks his fork, letting it linger on his tongue longer than necessary, maintaining eye contact and hoping it comes across as sexy and not just gross.*

I mean, you can't talk about your box that much and not get me a little excited.

I just want to get to know you. Sue me if I think that's hot. But I can and I will let you beat the shit outta me emotionally if that's what you need to do. As long as there's cuddles eventually, and we get to talk it out after.

*he sips his wine. It is good, but he's not even buzzed. Maybe Venom has something to do with that. He should ask them.*

Hold up. I want my traumadump too. Not fair. Promise if I ever show up at your house blackout drunk or fucked up, you won't let me leave without being covered in cum and bruises? Llike. Don't coddle me. If I'm seeing you like that, it's because I want to be seen.

[[YOU ARE BOTH CRAZY]]

*Peter steps out it his front door, straightening the lapel of his tux. Not that he needs to - Venom is actually great at costume design if given some pictures. The white shirt, tie, and lapels offset the black silky Venom fabric, and Peter thinks it's probably the best fit he's ever gotten in one.*

*he's waiting for Wade at 8 o'clock sharp in his front stoop because MJ is just putting Mayday down and didn't want noise in the house. He fidgets with a small box in his hand.*

*he's got a lot of nervous excitement, not in a bad way, though. He asked Wade to show up for their Casino Royale date in the slinkiest LBD that he could beg, borrow, or steal, and he already had to take some adult time in the shower thinking about it. You'd think that would have calmed his nerves but...nope.*

@bstandsforbabydaddy

*wade's cosplaying sandra bullock's outfit from ocean's eight down to the pearl-white nails. she looks fine as hell in her long black jacket with the hem hitting the top of her thigh-high boots, and her little black dress with swirls of shimmering sheer fabric that, oh, technically covers her but it's cut so short you can't quite trust it to stay that way.*

*she's got the wig, the makeup, even the mischievous look in her eye as she drops in at peter's front door, though she's a little surprised to see him waiting outside for her already. there's a dozen roses in her hand, but she seems to forget them when she sees the little box in peter's. she warily raises a drawn-on eyebrow.*

whatcha got there, bud?

[blushblushbear]

Hellooooo! 👋

Thank you again for taking my previous request with the immortal x reincarnation Headcannons 🥺 I forever love that trope to death

I enjoy seeing others Headcannons for the guys💖 thus why i’m requesting another Headcannons for once again, the Kitsunes

Since it’s December 👀 do you think you could come up with some Headcannons for what the three Kits would do on Christmas?

Like Aki trying to trap Santa for example🥺

SO! 👏

A quick history lesson to preface this! (Which I had to google, these fox idiots and fan fics involving them have me googling so much lately)

While Christmas first appeared in Japan in the 16th century, it wasn't widely celebrated until the Meiji Era (1868-1912)

If we take their release date as the canon date for things (so they got foxified 200 years prior to their release) that means they got turned into foxes around 1823, aka the Edo Period

So yeah, they have been foxes for the whole of christmas being a major/regular thing in japan and also being kitsune probably did not even celebrate it cause it might be competition???? (would they bro out with Jesus or try and fist fight him in a parking lot?????? surely not on the dude's birthday! No one is that cruel)

but yeah, it's safe to say their christmas this year (or maybe in 2023 cause they WERE released on December 5th, how quickly did you unfox them??) with you is like---- their first christmas EVER

ALSO SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS IN JAPAN

it's considered a couples' holiday-- or at least one you spend with friends at a party or something

sooooo with that being said

Aki:

ya know originally when you said he'd try to catch santa I was like 'nah' but then I thought about it and like

actually you're so right??

he totally would though

at least he would try

is he gonna ransom santa??

beat him up???

strike some kind of deal for presents???

JUST VIBE WITH THE DUDE????

even he's not sure, he's gonna see how it goes

I think he's very santa focused until he hears that christmas is a couple's holiday

then his gears shift so so fast

and don't even get me STARTED about after he heard about mistletoe

his santa trap plans become you trap plans so quickly

and all of them end with you kissing him

also he heard there's cake and fried chicken and frankly

he thought all this was really silly when he first heard it but it's low key one of his favorite holidays now

Haru:

Hoe hoe hoe

okay but no LISTEN

there's this saying that the most sex in japan is happening on christmas or something to that tune

so like

Haru has known about this holiday for a while

he's actually the only one who knew about it before hand

though his views on it are very like-----

in a horny japanese way

he only knows it as the go to a party and getting laid holiday

which fair

but yeah

his views on things sort of change a little now that he's got his powers back and is not stuck in fox mode for the first time during this holiday

well-- his views haven't changed but the mood has for him

he's still wanting to take you out and wine and dine you and also end up back at one of your places

but 1) it's more romantic to him now than just a fun lay like it would've been before you

and 2) frankly this is just his usual m.o. just more christmas flavored

it's like a pre-valentine's day as far as he's concerned

aka another excuse to take you out, show you off, give you a good time then end the night with some alone time back at your place <3

Fuyu:

The oldest and most shinto-y of the bunch, he's the most taken aback by this holiday

he doesn't hate it or anything but he does see it as humans doing kooky human things

but you've opened him up to a lot of new experiences recently so ya know what??

alright!

let's go out and have a modern little christmas date

it's different but it could be fun!

and it is fun actually

he tries a lot of new things and he actually has a good amount of fun with you

it's very much a cute little sweet christmas date

he tries fried chicken for the first time

well, okay--- yakitori exists but my understanding is that that's more grilled, and tempura exists but that's sort of different to like------- KFC style deep fried shit

he's def had stuff like it but not like---- KFC ya know????

he likes it fine

lil greasy for his taste but it's nice for a treat

but yeah it's mostly just a pleasant little date, you and him just kinda enjoying the sights and sounds together in this new world that he refused to partake in for so long

and it def ends with a christmas cake

and maybe you showing him mistletoe

aaaand maybe telling him about the spike in spicy times if you feel so inclined ;3

[hel7l7]

teenage girl problems when i'm 24 :)

[spaceratprodigy]

✨💖 Cybill and Iris 💖✨

@grimreapersbutt — they are in love!! and that is a threat!! your honor!! they are everything to me!!

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[mx-maddmcgeeky]

the original bit was the boy band clones being feral & eating out of his trash bins

I know that! I'm just a huge brain autistic and I don't... get jokes that are like haha he's gay!

Why'd they make grunkle stan SOO gay. I mean don't get me wrong I'm ecstatic and excited they all pretty much confirmed it!!

The connections are there! The fucking beautiful men and eating out of the trash bins like animals is kind of how Old Man McGucket just acts at that time. It also doesn't help that Stan went to Vegas and married Goldie?! Who's also a fucked up prospector caricature.

Fiddlestan is canon in feelings and vibes and I doubt it sometimes like oh this is a really cool hypothetical ship. Probably sprung upon from the existence of the popular ship fiddauthor!

NO! It's plausible in the text!!!

(it doesn't really count to anything but I just want to point out We have at least two people swearing in the show and it's Stanley and it's Fiddleford. Theres probably more but these are the things that come to mind.)

[tacocat37]

.

[hauntingblue]

Choose your favourite reaction

[little-flame-prince]

nodding along with a post and then halfway through it gets weird and confusing and realizing "oh! this was written through a culturally christian lens that i am fundamentally incapable of comprehending due to my background! no wonder i no longer know what the fuck OP is talking about"

[lena-oleanderson]

Incredulity OR Informed Consent from Side Wounds

(on talking to someone who is suicidal after losing someone to it)

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I don't know if it's just me, but are they gradually dumbing down Rick's character for the sake of keeping the show popular?

I got extreme Peter Griffin vibes from this episode, and I feel like in general he's a lot less sharp and cool gritty and witty and "unconventional" the way that he was the first couple of seasons. He wasn't an easy character to "swallow" in a lot of ways so to speak, and I feel like he's gradually getting dumber, more cloudy around the edges, less sharp and more conventional and shallow with a lot of the things that he says. He feels extremely typical sometimes this season-like more of the character that people would watch because the character doesn't challenge their headspace in any kind of way, and is someone that encourages their complacent drunk dead personality.

The character used to say things that was really unpopular, or at the very least would occasionally say things that would make people uncomfortable (just things like "if you know how you're going to die because of how boring your life is then you're not even alive" and just things that challenged at the boring drunk complacent status quo that most American sitcom characters are), was an extreme breath of fresh air in terms of how sharp he was and how he wasn't afraid to challenge everything even if it was just in a TV show character kind of way, and it's one of the things that stuck out about me about him the most, especially as someone who is mentally ill and feels detached from most of American culture.

I might just be in a bad mood, but I genuinely feel like Rick feels less sharp and "unconventional"and is starting to feel increasingly more dumb, dopey and easy to swallow as a character.

I still love him and I always will, and sometimes I find it endearing, but this episode in particular felt like he was just being a dumb genuine and boring drunk (really just in terms of the scene with Beth, but considering that the episodes are only about 22 minutes, there isn't a lot of elbow room to work with, especially considering most of this episode was summer screen time).

The only reason why I care so much is because of Rick is one of the very few characters I've ever been genuinely connected with, so I'm just worried that Rick as a character is going down to gradual slippery slope of just becoming an American extremely overly dumbed it down product. The show was so gritty and real and raw and a lot of ways for the first three to four seasons and kept that touch up to season 6, but this season just feels like they're gradually going into "American Dad" type feeling territory, and I'm vaguely worried a little bit about my connection to the show. Especially as someone that does not connect to things easily or ever at all really. And partially because everything is so dumbed down and doesn't seem to have any and genuine philosophy behind it except of being another brainless thing for people to consume to pass the time.